#the sects went in with the goal of seeing wwx dead and wwx ended up dead

[spockandawe]

I cannot for love or money let go of the idea that like... I don’t think Lan Wangji canonically was sleeping with Jiang Cheng while Wei Wuxian was dead. But I’m enthralled how easy it would be to slot that into place in the story. And my favorite part of Jiang Cheng is how messily he’s emotionally imploding in the story present, and the big reason I would argue why lan wangji/jiang cheng didn’t actually happen is because I think the present would have been so much messier, but... that’s also exactly why I’m so delighted by the idea of just. Slipping it in there and seeing just how much hotter this dumpster fire can get.

Like, Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji are both MESSES in their own ways in this story. Jiang Cheng’s turmoil is loud and obvious, while Lan Wangji’s is a lot more self-contained (I was hit harder than I expected by lan xichen’s callout where he was like ‘IT WAS SO OBVIOUS HOW HE FELT’ and wei wuxian just completely blacked out that couple of days, and he’s been fake-flirting with lan wangji while lan wangji thinks he knows exactly how he feels and is so gentle despite how from his pov wei wuxian has been pretty darn cruel and AUGH). But also, I just got my heart broken by the way the main story ended on the note of Jiang Cheng failing to tell Wei Wuxian that he didn’t go back to Lotus Pier to get his parents’ bodies, he went back because he drew the attention of the Wen soldiers to protect Wei Wuxian, and I’m gonna CRY.

Jiang Cheng is a fragile, brittle mess on the whole, and while I wouldn’t say that he’s hungry for love in general, he’s desperate for approval from His People (and since his parents have both failed him hard on that count and his sect was effectively exterminated, that adds up to wwx and jyl). And when Wei Wuxian dies, he’s left horribly wounded over losing everyone he’s ever loved, blaming Wei Wuxian for it, blaming Wei Wuxian to break his promise to stay by his side, and, very importantly, blaming himself for not being enough to protect and/or keep the people he loves. I don’t want to rehash his whole arc, but these are critical character notes.

And if a horrible, grief-stricken, ill-considered affair between Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, possibly even a long-running (if irregular) affair, I think... I think they would hurt each other too much for it to be healthy, or for it to be a relationship-relationship. But they’re both overflowing with emotional wounds, and Lan Wangji is observant, and even if he gives Jiang Cheng less to work with, Jiang Cheng is real good at spamming attacks until he finds something that hurts. Knowing each other’s weak spots so that you can hurt each other isn’t a healthy kind of intimacy, but it’s still a kind of intimacy. And in general, I also feel like Jiang Cheng would be pretty awful at keeping as much internal emotional distance as he intends in their not-relationship. I’m not going to write this essay right now, but I’ve got thoughts about this.

But, where I’m headed. Is the present day. Where Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng are still desperately, hopelessly hunting for any hint of Wei Wuxian, and understanding each other and spending more time near each other than they want(?) because of that shared goal.

And then Wei Wuxian comes back. And Wei Wuxian chooses Lan Wangji.

The POTENTIAL of this implosion!!! I don’t want to undervalue what we get in canon, because canon DELIGHTS me. But just imagine the doubled blow, when Jiang Cheng is abruptly ditched by the two people who understand him the best, who each had.... in theory some kind of connection with him. He melts down terribly just over Wei Wuxian still being alive, and i don’t think it’s even possible to untangle how much anger is thanks to how he wants to hate Wei Wuxian vs how much is being upset over Wei Wuxian choosing someone else, again. But what if we add, simultaneously, more of a meltdown because his not-boyfriend has ditched their not-relationship without a backwards glance, and he stole Wei Wuxian when he knows how much this means to Jiang Cheng, and that reluctant/resentful intimacy between them taking an abrupt turn into a mutual jealous mistrust, and they could be such a tag-team if they trusted each other enough to share, or were forced to share early. But Lan Wangji got the first opening and he took it, and neither of them is certain enough of Wei Wuxian’s love to even consider sharing after that imbalance is in place.

Part of what fascinates me is because Jiang Cheng is already doing Not Great for a lot of canon, and I just. I want to add more fuel to the fire. As far as canon goes, he got hit with that Complete Abandonment truck way back in the past, and has had time to cope and push some of those issues down. So...... what if we hit him with the truck again, and he’s taken super off-guard, because it wasn’t supposed to be possible again, but, you know, your brother rises from the dead and two seconds later your not-boyfriend elopes with him, it’s a little hard to predict things like that. I want more reasons for him to be upset with Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and himself. I want extra concern from Jin Ling as he watches Jiang Cheng refuse to admit that anything is wrong. I’m assuming that Lan Wangji would be prepared to keep this secret until he died, but that Jiang Cheng would 1000% spill the beans in his meltdown at Lotus Pier (oh my god, the ways that would flavor the first wangxian sex scene, holy shit), and that Jiang Cheng would be an extra messy wreck when he shows up at the guanyin temple

And also, I very much want a scene where Lan Wangji tries to reassure Wei Wuxian that yes, okay, he slept with Jiang Wanyin, but don’t worry, it didn’t mean anything, and Wei Wuxian is upset because ‘hold on, you slept with him and it didn’t mean anything? Lan Zhan, how could you? he’s very sensitive!! :(’

#mdzs #jiang cheng #lan wangji #wei wuxian #psst read by proxy i forgot how much i loved that fic #maybe i could write that first wangxian encounter with that context #longer fics are beyond me rn #but that might be manageable #is it i don't know #my brain is mush

[agendratum]

hey @tootiredtoosadtooangry i tried to answer your 6 weeks old ask, but as i saved it as a draft to check the formatting and all that, it just fucking disappeared, cause tumblr is a website. it may magically come back later, but idk if it will happen. good thing is that i saved the text of that ask separately, cause i’m a genius and i wasn’t gonna lose this essay *wink wink* to this fucking website

ok, so it's been 6 weeks

it's basically 5-7 business days, right?

so 6 weeks ago i made a gif, and under that gif i said that i might write an essay about some things (wei wuxian), but then some other things happened (word of honor) and i kinda got distracted. but now i have my glass of whatever this alcohol that i'm drinking is, and i think i'm ready to talk a bit about our depressed necromancer who in that gif just came back to life. mostly about:

1. the specific flashback he's having in that moment, the one about seeing lan wangji for the first time

2. the general concept of being back to life 16 years later and getting using to that new world around him

so, first of all, what i find really interesting, is that upon seeing sizhui's clothing pattern, wei wuxian remembers, of course, lan wangji. but the thing is, being just back to life, his last memory from being alive is him falling down the cliff with lan wangji's face fading while the distance grows. that is not what he remembers. his memory goes back to the very first moment they met, the moment before literally anything happened, including all the things that went wrong.

because think about it. even tho i'm going here by the live-action canon, if we go back just a little bit to the novel canon, wei wuxian doesn't actually remember lan wangji fighting by his side in that final battle. when he comes back to life, he believes that he's remembered as the terrible yiling laozu by everybody. and that includes lan wangji. by the end of wei wuxian life he became everything that lan wangji warned him about, and everything he said he wouldn't become. so he believes that if lan wangji would find out that he's back to life, it wouldn't make him happy (oh how wrong he is)

when wei wuxian sees lan sect juniors for the first time, there seems to be a bit of hope - "is *he* also here?" but later we find out, that he doesn't actually want lwj to be here, cause he thinks that their meeting will not look like a friendly reunion (it will look like a very romantic reunion, but that happens later). and i think that when he has that small flashback to their very first meetings, the sadness that overcomes him is caused by the realization of that enormous gap between them when they just met and them after all the terrible things that happened. wei wuxian wants to see his old friend, a person who once at least tried to believe in him, who is also still alive, which can't be said about a lot of people he knew, but there is this huge barrier that he believes cannot be crossed. and he crossed that point of no return himself in his previous life, and he is now undeserving of lan wangji's trust and friendship.

and that's of course isn't true. but there is a difference between what we know, what lan wangji thinks and what wei wuxian believes and remembers.

there is no smooth transition i can think of to get to the second point, so here we are. 16 years. 16 years is a lot. it's a whole fucking life. a human can be almost fully formed in that time period (which is perfectly represented by both fully grown up sizhui and jin ling, who, when wwx died, was a one month old baby) in 16 years a lot can happen to a person. a person can grow to change their whole world view, their believe system, some of their principles, become comfortable with their identity and finally figure out what they want from life. a person can grow from a child to an adult, who's carefully and patiently initiating a plan they've been cultivating for years, while playing a role and hiding their true face from everybody. a person can take their enormous grief, their rage, their pain and direct it all towards achieving their goals, actually fulfilling the impossible, while managing to raise a child and not completely ruin them from the inside, but actually letting the child know that he's loved and safe.

and then wei wuxian who died 16 years ago before any of that happened, comes back to this world full of people he used to once know. but he doesn't anymore. and we can see it in everything, from little details to big very important conversations. the most obvious is him trying to play and flirt with lan wangji the ways he used to when they were teens, and being so confused by lwj's reaction. because lwj grew past that so long ago, while wwx just didn't have a chance to get this out of his system. that part is him getting to know lwj again, from the beginning, because he meets a new man. but at least with lwj, wwx is willing to get to know him and lwj is willing to let him do that.

then there is jiang cheng. there was always a certain level of misunderstanding between yunmeng bros, but at the same time, wei wuxian used to know jiang cheng pretty well. when jiang cheng was upset or something was going wrong home, with his parents, wwx mostly knew what to do or what to say or how to distract him and make light of the situation. he used to be able to look jiang cheng in the eyes and lie, and jiang cheng would believe that. and when wei wuxian comes back, he thinks it's the same jiang cheng. but the thing is, it's not. jiang cheng grew in not the most healthy ways, but he still grew up. there are so many moments, where instead of making the light of the situation, wei wuxian's actions escalate it. it's both jc just being a new person and wwx not knowing anymore how to act around him. the most important scenes showcasing that are lotus pier fight and the conversation in the temple.

there is also nhs, who's fooling everybody around him easily because he always did. even if it was just about school work. but isn't it fucking sad, that he's fooling even he's best friend. wwx isn't really surprised in the end, of course, when we find out that nhs has been behind all these deeds, but still he doesn't really suspect him. like at all, if i recall correctly? and they used to be on the same page of fooling everybody to think that these two boys are just some lazy fools. they're clearly not on the same page anymore.

wwx comes back to the world full of people who look like people he used to know or remind him of people he used to know, but they aren't them. meanwhile he didn't have the time to grow or change or just have some peace. wherever he's been while being dead, he was just out of it. his path of growing and figuring himself out stars with him coming back. but he's years behind. and with someone like lan wangji, we know that he's willing wait and he gives him space and he gives him love and home and warmth. but then, for example, jiang cheng's frustration is visible in the air, because he had years to overthink everything went wrong again and again, and wei wuxian comes back and it seems like he just want to ignore and leave "the past in the past" and it's infuriating for someone who couldn't let go of it all for 16 years. but it's understandable for someone who just came back and now the weight of everything they did multiplied by 16 years is suddenly being thrown at them.

and he has to get to know all these people from the beggining, if they will be willing to get to know each other at all. and the growth, that getting to know himself, it's a journey he has to take on his own. that's why i'm such a big fan of that trip he takes in the end by the way. but still it's a trip he takes alone, and there are still huge chunks of life he missed. and he will never get them back. he missed all those years when sizhui and jin ling were growing up. and it will always be there. they will be sharing their childhood stories with him, and the lack of wwx in their lives will be so obvious. he will continue to learn new things about lwj, about his old friends, about the world, because it's been so long, and it will be noticeable that he was not there.

i would say that all the characters of their generation (that survived) are lonely in their own way. but for wei wuxian it's the loneliness of being dead and just completely not present on the lives of his loved ones.

i don't know where i'm going with it now, so i think i will just stop here and maybe come back to you 6 weeks later with another terribly messy emotional take influenced by me drinking alcohol.

#cql #wwx #is it meta for me to mumble? #meta

[joythea]

Random thought on why Wei Wuxian is always so positive

Had a discussion on the MDZS network discord and rereading clockworkspider’s post on WWX, Wei Wuxian had to remind me of a psychological theory I studied briefly. Spoilers for those who have not read the novel. Please take this with a grain of salt because I can’t 100% guarantee what I’m writing makes sense as I’m too lazy to reread the novel (I hate the ToC for not having the names).

Why is he always so positive? From canon, he has been told by his mother to always remember the good done to him, so he often selectively forgets the bad things that happen to him. In psychology, this is known as the positivity effect, where you tend to focus more on positive things and not think of negative things.  According to the study by Kennedy, Mather and Cartensen (2004), they found that “older adults have a positivity effect in long-term autobiographical memory and that a positivity bias can be induced in younger adults by a heightened motivation to regulate current emotional well-being.”

What did Wei Wuxian do after being expelled from the Yunmeng Jiang and living in Burial Mounds? That’s right, live as though the world was going on as per normal. He tried not to get agitated, and still focused on the things that mattered. So what if he is demonised by the whole world? He’s got a one-month celebration to attend, he isn’t going to let that stop him. When he met with Lan Wangji, he still offered to have a meal with him, laughing at Wen Yuan calling Lan Wangji his father. As though the darkness in the world didn’t matter. He knew how easy it was to be consumed in negativity, so he made an effort to regulate his emotional well-being so that it doesn’t deteriorate. Of course, nothing could have helped him when Wen Ning stabbed Jin Zixuan due to his agitation...

Now the theory I’m going to talk about is known as the SST, or the Socioemotional Selectivity Theory created by Laura Carstensen. This theory states that how time is perceived will affect how you determine your social goals. The social goals fall under two categories, one related to gaining more knowledge and the other is more towards emotional regulation. When a person believes they have enough time, they will prioritise the former, and on the other hand, they will prioritise emotional goals when they see themselves as having less time (Carstensen, Isaacowitz, Charles, 1999).

To compare, Jiang Cheng had the goal of rebuilding his sect, which is an open-ended goal. He knows he’s got plenty of time, so he’s going to focus on that. He isn’t going to bother with an emotional goal or learn how to cope with his trauma. He ain’t got time for that; he’s got to make sure his sect is rebuilt. In comparison, Wei Wuxian’s goal was to shelter the Wens. He didn’t have a plan, he didn’t really know what he was going to do, but all he knows was that he was going to shelter them as long as he could. Keyword, as long as he could. Also, aware of the consequences of demonic cultivation, which I theorize that it’s necessary to keep a stable mind, he has to increase his focus on positivity.

The Socioemotional Selectivity theory is usually associated with older adults; they are known to have more positivity and better emotional regulation compared to younger adults (Kennedy et al., 2004). This is because they are nearing the end of their life and they have to shift their goals from their youth to match with their life stage. They also remember their memories with a positivity effect, in which they don’t think much about negative ones or the negative implications if any. This theory is also used on patients who are terminally ill; with no time left, they naturally gravitate towards emotional goals. Basically, this theory means if you have lesser resources, you will not waste them on negative ones.

In canon, Wei Wuxian barely survived Burial Mounds after giving up his core to Jian Cheng. He seems fine on the outside, still able to keep up with the mainstream cultivators. As clockworkspider mentioned, he’s actually well-adjusted, similarly to the older adults who recall their memories fondly. Wei Wuxian does not focus on the negative things. He never blamed Jiang Cheng for anything and just continued to live as per normal. However, that near-death experience did lead him to focus on more emotional goals; namely living a simple life in Yiling/Burial Mounds.

With no golden core, it equates to lesser resources. There’s really no other way he can keep up with a normal cultivator anymore, so Wei Wuxian had to tap into demonic cultivation. It’s a resource as well, albeit not really the most stable in my point of view. I’m not saying he was suicidal, but I suspect that Wei Wuxian did not think there would be much of a future ahead. He knew that what he was doing was leading to a dead end, as shown that he literally cried and wondered what the hell did he do all this for when Wen Qing and Wen Ning went to surrender themselves. With the lack of a golden core, he was definitely going to die earlier than the others since it implies that having one means you live longer.

Everything he did was a gamble. The Stygian Tiger Amulet was to act as a deterrent so that no one would fight him and realise the farce he was putting on. He didn’t wear a sword not because he was arrogant, but he couldn’t use it. So he had to keep wearing this arrogant face. Leaving the Yunmeng Jiang, cutting himself off from his social networks for a goal he believed in that he still wanted to focus on and believed he could do. Lesser resources? Well, he has got to focus on those that he can still do until the end of his life comes. He has no core anymore; how can he possibly think about a future in cultivation aside from demonic cultivation?

tldr; Wei Wuxian focused even more on positive memories and emotional goals because losing his golden core has led him to potentially shorten his life or saw that his life has shortened immensely like a terminally ill patient.

References:

Carstensen, L. L., Isaacowitz, D. M., & Charles, S. T. (1999). Taking time seriously: A theory of socioemotional selectivity. American Psychologist, 54(3), 165.

Kennedy, Q., Mather, M., & Carstensen, L. L. (2004). The role of motivation in the age-related positivity effect in autobiographical memory. Psychological science, 15(3), 208-214.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mo dao zu shi meta #mdzs meta #wwx character analysis #wwx #wei wuxian #wei wuxian character analysis #jiang cheng #socioemotional selectivity theory #positivity effect