#theresa servopolous

[devnmon]

save who you can save // t.s.

A prequel to Long Long Time, detailing the first time the two met.

pairing: smuggler!reader x tess servopolous slowburn

Summary: One of your smuggling deals goes wrong– almost deathly wrong. A stranger decides you're worth saving.

word count: 12k

warnings: descriptions of several injuries, reader gets beaten up, non-sexual nudity, tw for random guys in the qz, physical assault, mentions of blood, death, drugs, and typical tlouverse violence... reader is mid 20's, tess is early 40's, tess gives reader stitches (but it's ok they're unconscious), mentions of tess's past, tess and joel aren't a thing in this, but he is an asshole for the better part of the fic [lowkey enemies to friends w/ joel]. pining (a lot of mutual pining oh my god guys.) also pls don't come at me for inaccurate qz stuff, this is fanfic. nonbinary pronouns used the reader is afab! also this fic starts in readers pov and ends in tess's and i just realized that so don't hate me for it! xx

a/n: happy valentines day GAY PEOPLE. this is for you guys. and all the tess fic lovers. here is my prequel of Long Long Time that i wrote a little over a year ago when tlou hbo came out. i pour my heart into each and every fic i write. this is my child, be kind with her. i hope you all enjoy and don't forget to reblog to support your favorite creators!!

That day she found you, beaten and bloody with several injuries, was the day she had quite genuinely saved your life.

You never should’ve made this deal. 

Becoming a smuggler required more skill, more cunning –more than you had. Somehow, you’ve ended up right where you never thought you’d be: on the sour end of an unstable client. 

You knew your stock wasn’t as satisfying as the client demanded, but the amount of ration cards seemed too good to be true. It happened to be– regrettably you’d been a fool to try and weasel out of the deal without repercussions. Nothing was ever that easy in this world. 

The first thing you felt was the end of a very sharp knife pressing into your back. Then you heard his voice in your ear, speaking punctually. 

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody gets past me. Not even you. I let you think you’re good at sneaking around. But I see everything.” 

Your breath hitched as his grip pulled you backwards into the alley. Once you turned away from the main road, you were met with another man, one you knew accompanied another man you dealt with often. He was dressed the same, and had that classic sketchy-guy look that told you exactly who’d approached you this hostile. 

It was a particularly unstable client, one you hesitated to continue business with due to his poor self-control. He was a junkie through and through, just a man too weak to settle into this world, needing a constant escape. You had unfortunately promised him a supply you didn’t have, and things escalated too far soon after. 

There was no reason to call for help either; it would be that easy for him to rat you out to FEDRA for selling pills. Even if those same soldiers were frequent customers of yours. Your voice had gone hoarse and the cut on your lip swelled enough to make it hard to speak. 

You couldn’t decide what was worse, the fact that you never saw this coming, or that nobody would be coming to your rescue. 

Crack. 

Your shoulder was slammed into the wall with enough force that you toppled to the floor. Followed by multiple kicks to the stomach and sides, with not even a second’s notice. Your lunch felt closer to coming up with every rough kick of their boots into your torso. 

The amount of stock wasn’t nearly as close to what the client demanded, but his ration cards seemed too good to be true. To be fair, you weren’t cut out to be a smuggler; you were a fool to try and weasel out of the deal without repercussions. It was never that easy in this world. 

Your knuckles scraped against the blacktop like sandpaper while attempting to stand, painted crimson while your skin ripped. When your vision went double, then triple, squeezing your eyes shut alleviated the pain for just a moment. 

Other than the blood you felt gushing from your hands, the throbbing in your head and torso made it difficult to move without immense pain. Weakened by several blows to the stomach, your legs finally gave out. Your ankle twisted the wrong way as you fell, while your palm caught on a sharp piece of rock, scraping it enough to burn. You were damned if you tried to yell for help.

You huff a breath, before a sharp pain stopped you short, coughing up blood that pooled in your chest. On all fours like a dog you were, with the two men standing above you muttering to themselves. 

Mercy, they called this having mercy on you. 

Some form of laceration cut deep enough to drip red hot blood down your forehead, and there was no doubt you had several more covering your body by the way everything burned. It dripped down your face and made everything blurry. 

Coughing hoarsely, you somehow found the strength to pull yourself off from the prone position, finding a wall to sit up against. Each time you moved, it felt as if your body was getting ripped apart. Your bones felt like glass, your skin like paper. Blood gushed from a slash on your arm, and your stomach had taken one too many blows to pull yourself to your feet. 

How the fuck did this happen?

You had been traveling through the QZ during late afternoon, around the central hob of trading. In the midst of the zone's chaos, you ducked into an alley as a shortcut, which was your first mistake. Minutes later, you had been roughly attacked from behind, and thrown against the wall with one motion.

“You got our pills, bitch?” Two sets of feet pointed toward you while weakened. 

“I need more time,” you breathed, convincing yourself more so than the man in front of you, “My dealer’s stingy with his supply. I can get it out of him, though. Soon.”  Your arms raised at your sides, knowing how many people secretly carried knives around the QZ. There was no way you were taking that chance. 

A pair of hands grabbed the collar of your shirt, lifting you up so you could hear them clearly. 

“We want the rest of our pills. And a pack of cigs. End of the day tomorrow. Or you’re all the way dead. You hear me?” 

The other man approached, unsheathing his blade and immediately pressed it to your cheek, standing not even a foot from your body. His blade was forced onto your skin so hard that it drew blood, and you called out in pain. 

“End of day tomorrow. The usual spot.” The one holding your collar said pointedly. 

A fast nod of your head paired with the incessant throbbing of his words within your mind had you struggling to comprehend anything. He released your collar, which resulted in you toppling onto the ground once more. The blood you coughed up afterwards stained your shirt, wiping it away with the sleeve of your flannel. 

You’d survived the chaos of outbreak day, almost running yourself into the ground trying to escape everything. That was the day you knew this would be a life of running, until you arrived in Boston. 

You weren’t sure about the Quarantine Zone at first. But then you saw a bed and pillow to sleep on every night. No more camouflaging yourself in the backseat of a car or suffering drastic temperatures and hoping you wake up not frozen to death the next day. 

To be fair, you tried to sign up for work shifts, but manual labor was never for you– especially not when it was shoveling shit, or transferring corpses to burn in fire pits. That kind of work was not how you intended to live out the rest of your life. 

That was when you landed on smuggling, since people had to be desperate for some kind of relief after taking orders from soldier douchebags all day. You probably would’ve been better off in the academy, not taking shit from a weasel of a dealer whose name you forgot, but whose ponytail you remembered. You’d gone from risking your life every day in the open world, dodging the swarms of runners underground to being forced into risking your life trying to make the junkies and downright miserable people of the QZ happy. 

Now, you’ve accepted that you were going to slowly bleed to death in this alley. Part of you wanted to resist, but the idea of not having to deal with anything like this ever again. It would just be that much easier to close your eyes and succumb. 

You whimpered at the pain running through your leg, a patch of maroon seeping through your jeans. Too weak to put pressure on any of your own wounds, you let your eyes close in defeat. The voice at the back of your head protested, wanting you to get up and fight for your life. But you just couldn’t. 

Eventually the air got cooler which you noted meant the sun had gone down, and you were in and out of consciousness. Warily, you opened your one good eye, spotting the patch of blood that had spread further from the gash on your leg. The sight made you queasy, so you closed your eye again and went back to unconsciousness for a while. It was the lone way everything stopped hurting, and bliss once you floated into it. 

“Psst. You alive?” The words rang sharp in your head with an ache so bad you couldn’t focus. The nudge at your foot woke you a bit, pulling you to consciousness slightly. No reply earned you a slightly harder kick to the leg, which shot another stinging pain up your leg. You groaned and your body moved a bit. 

Is someone there? 

Footsteps crunched against the blacktop, getting slightly louder. 

Fuck, please don’t hurt me, please, please.. 

“I’m just gonna check your pulse, so if you can hear me, don’t freak out.” Your head moved an inch weakly, unsure about this person being so close to you. A low groan of discomfort came from your chest, alerting the woman you were conscious. 

“Hey, hey. I’m not going to hurt you. Just needed to know if you were alive.” The voice was low, and it sounded feminine through the ringing in your ear. 

“H-help… me…” You managed to speak, your mouth and tongue tasting like iron. 

The woman went silent for a moment, taking a look over the state of your injuries. 

“You’re pretty fucked up, honey. God, what piece of shit did this to you?” She picked up on the multiple gashes on your body, staining your clothes, and your shoulder was visibly out of place. 

You decided to open your eyes to see who was crouched next to you. It was no use, your vision was still spinning from earlier. Sharp pains drummed against your head and obscured your ability to see. The one sole thing you could make out was someone with long, light colored hair and a dark pink shirt, but you kept looking around to see if your vision would come back. 

“Shit. I’ve gotta get you out of here. Just- just hold on. Name’s Tess, what’s yours?” You picked up on her moving about, unzipping what you assumed was her pack. 

You mumbled again, still unable to speak clearly. 

“Right, dumb question. So, I’ve gotta stop your bleeding, and your shoulder looks dislocated. I can only do one of those things right now, and then we can get you someplace safe. That means I’m gonna have to put pressure on your leg. Okay?” Her words came out matter-of-factly, and she seemed like a true survivor of this world. 

You begin to protest, moving slightly away from her and moaning with distrust. 

“Look, I promise, I will get you out of here. But I can’t have you leaving a blood trail through the streets. Alright?” She asked, and you hesitated for a moment, but nodded slightly. 

“Okay, this is going to hurt, but I need you to keep it quiet so it doesn’t attract soldiers. Can you do that?” 

Immediately, you shook your head no, and you heard the woman mumble to herself while she shuffled through her bag.

“Here, bite down on this. It’s a clean rag, and I promise that if you scream, it’ll be a hell of a lot quieter than if you didn’t have it.” She raised the rag up to your lips and waited for you to open your mouth. Somehow you trusted her to let her put it in. If this were some other old injury, you wouldn’t be giving an inch. But you happened to be on the brink of death right now, and you realized she’s probably saving your life. 

“I’m gonna put pressure on your cut now.” You heard her rearrange herself to be crouched over on the other side of you. With both her hands, she pressed down firmly on your wound. The stinging pain that died down earlier came right back when her hands made contact. She noticed your wound gushing through the first bandage in her hand. You groaned loudly into the cloth, grateful for its existence. 

“I know it hurts…” The woman spoke again, “Just hang in there. I’m gonna wrap your wound, and then once we’re safe, I can stitch it up.” 

You begin to protest, borderline trusting the woman in front of you. Then you realized, she was the only one here. 

"Look, I need to get you out of here. Need to get us out of here. Soldiers are gonna be swarming the streets all night, and it's almost sundown. I can take you to my place, and I’ll have a better chance to take care of you there. I know you probably don’t trust me, but it's the least I can do."

Considering the current situation, you didn’t have much of a choice. 

“Do what you… h-have to..” you muttered weakly. 

The pressure on your wound had lightened, while one of her hands rested on it as she used the other to grab for her bag again. She met your eye level for a moment, glancing up to survey your state. She went back to wrap some gauze around your thigh, tying it tighter than you would’ve liked, even though you knew it would help your wound begin to heal. 

“Okay, I think the bleeding stopped. You poor thing, let’s get you out of here.” You watched her zip up her pack and shrug it onto her back, while grabbing yours with her other hand. 

“It’s probably gonna hurt a lot if you try to stand, but we gotta get you up one way or another.” You felt her at your side, slipping your left arm around her shoulder. She had already noticed the sharp inhales you were taking upon moving from your spot. 

“Here, lean on me. I’ll carry you. Just keep breathing, honey.” 

The minute she began to lift you was when you knew something was really wrong with your other arm. It tingled all over and your shoulder ached something awful. 

“‘M t-tryin’– it hurts…” had been uttered under your breath with another whine of sharp pain as your body moved with hers. 

“I know. Shhh, Shh. Hey, Just put one foot in front of the other. You’ve got this.” Something about her voice was calming you, and it almost made up for all the pain. The two of you begin walking, slowly at first, testing out your strength for the journey. It took a minute of tripping over your own feet to steady yourself. 

“Promise we’re gonna get you fixed up, brand new.” She muttered under her breath, low enough so other people nearby didn’t hear. 

Somehow her words kept you going, limp after limp. Tess made sure you knew when you had to take a step up or down, and kept you going the whole time. 

“Yeah, you got it. We’re halfway there. Keep it up, doin’ great.” Her words reverberated in your head with an echo. You couldn’t see where you were stepping for the majority, but you trusted her to guide you. Another few minutes of walking had your body much more worn out than normal. Once she stopped at the side of a building, her arm went to push the door open.

“Here we are.” Tess kicked it shut behind you two, and balanced you against her body. The interior was warm on your skin, but somehow your body still shivered to its core. Inside, you could hear people shifting around, but the sounds blended together amongst your attempt to stay upright. 

“I’m s-so cold…” 

The strength in your body was draining with every step you took; you were ready to collapse. 

“I know, but you gotta keep your eyes open a little longer. We need to get you up these stairs. Then we’re home free.” 

You didn’t protest as she brought you closer, inching up each step carefully in order to not strain yourself. Your legs ached with every step, persevering to make it all the way.

The last step up the top stair drained the last of your stamina, evident by the way your fingers throbbed with each beat of your heart. You were out of it more intensely than when you had been outside. Your whole body was sensitive with some form of pain you couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

Tess led you down the short hallway, stopping in front of her door. She fumbled with her keys, although the jingling chain sounded more like glass breaking in your head. The door flew open, and she brought you inside, tossing your pack to the side while tossing her keys in another direction. 

“Alright, let’s set you down on the couch. Should be more comfortable than the damn ground.” Tess scoffed as she brought you over, keeping an eye on your limp. She turned you to the right, your bad arm on the outside of the couch as you were lowered down onto the cushions. When your feet were finally off the ground and your back rested against the pillows, it made a world of a difference. 

“Fuck… I’m so tired. Everything hurts.” You stifled a groan, but Tess saw how much pain you were in. Your eyes scrunched together every time you tried to move and there were multiple patches of blood seeping through your shirt. 

“I know. But I can’t leave your shoulder the way it is.” 

“My shoulder?” You hadn’t the slightest idea what she was talking about, your arms felt fine. 

No, it’s definitely the shock you’re in. 

“It’s dislocated. Pretty swollen already, you must be in shock. And I already told you that I’d have to pop it back in. Before we left, you don’t remember?” 

“No…” You mumbled, trying to recall; your memory was so groggy; you couldn’t remember half the day. 

“Shit, you probably have a concussion too.” Tess reached to the back of her jeans, pulling out the same rag as before. “But I’ve gotta set your shoulder before it’s permanently damaged. It’s probably been way too long already.” 

“How d’you know all this? Were you a doctor or something? Before?” Tess turned to face you, and you were able to focus on the features of her face for a moment. Her eyes were a light hazel color, and you could see little strands of grey peeking through her light brown hair. 

“Or something… I did a lot to survive after the outbreak. Learned a lot more to survive the hard times.” Her words trailed off, and she went to grab something from another part of the room. Tess had collected an old shirt of hers, and came back over to you. 

“Okay, so… I’m not good with pain clearly. Hope you still have that rag. Cause I’m gonna yell… or pass out. Either way, it’s gonna hurt a shit ton, and I’m gonna need it.” 

Without a doubt, Tess pulled the rag from her back pocket for you. 

“Got it right here. Kept it out of my pack cause I knew you’d need it again. This is gonna hurt a lot more than just some pressure on your cut.” She began tying the t-shirt together in a specific way, but you weren’t sure what she was doing with it. 

“Shit. I know… I know. Just do it.” You groaned, feeling a slight tingling sensation in your left hand shooting upwards to your shoulder. 

Tess set the now tied shirt onto the floor, as she kneeled down next to you. With one hand, she held the rag up to your mouth, and you bit down on it. Among the various other pains in your body, your shoulder was the worst of all. Taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself enough, Tess met your eye once she had leaned down in front of you. 

“Ready?”

Wordlessly, you nodded your head. You were trying to keep calm, but the shock was wearing off and your pain came flooding back. One of Tess’s hands grasped your forearm, though you could barely feel her grip. 

“Okay. One, two…” 

Crack went your shoulder back into its socket with one swift motion. Just as she thought, you went groaning into the rag once again. Tess took her hands away and grabbed the makeshift sling she had tied together earlier. 

“Does that feel better?” She asked, watching you spit out the rag. You took another deep breath in and out, surveying the current feeling in your arm. 

“Yeah.” You weren’t sure if you believed it yourself, but for now you decided to. “Pain’s still there, but it definitely feels different. Better than before.”

“Good. Here, you’ve gotta wear your arm in this sling while it heals.” Tess lifted the tied up sling over your head, and it slipped on easily on once she had it situated the right way. 

“Could I get those pills now? The idea of any kind of grace from the amount of pain I was just in sounds like a dream.” You tried to laugh, but a cough came up instead. 

“Yeah. I’ve got Oxy, Hydro, Morphine…” She trailed off, not even knowing if you knew what she was talking about. 

“Honestly, whatever you think will be best. I honestly don’t know anything about dosages very well, and I trust you. Besides, I just wanna knock out for the night. I’m fucking exhausted.” Your words slurred a bit, due to your swollen lip, but Tess heard you well enough. 

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” 

Instead of trying to keep your eyes open, you shut them again in an attempt to alleviate the pain in your head, but it pounded nonstop. You listened to Tess’s boots on the wooden floor walking around to ground yourself. A couple minutes later, she returned to where you lay on the couch. 

You peeked your eyes open, and she’d crouched down with two pills in one hand and a cup of water in the other. 

“Got you water to wash it down with, if you want.” Her cupped hand held two of the white pills and you raised your good arm to grab them. Patient as she was, you moved slowly. 

There was no indication of any burdensome look on her face, which was odd– no one had ever been this kind to you before. You didn’t know how to feel about it. 

Slipping the pills between your lips, you grabbed for the cup of water. It began to slip out of your hand the minute Tess loosened her grip.

“Here, let me. You’re gonna be really weak for a while, so just close your eyes and relax.” She said, to which she brought the cup to your lips with no hesitation. 

“Now, while those pills kick in, I’ll see what I can do for your gashes and other injuries. All I want you to focus on is getting some sleep. You’re safe. I promise.” She touched your hand softly, then stood up and walked off to leave you space to rest. 

Once you closed your eyes, you felt the exhaustion wash over you, though it finally felt good to rest again. A few minutes passed, and the groggy effect of the pills began to set in. You were out in no time. 

In the meantime, Tess darted back and forth gathering supplies to fix you up; she’d sterilized a needle and thread to stitch up your leg, and took the last of her ace bandages out from her pack to use for your ankle. She grabbed the bottle of whiskey on the countertop, and brought what she needed over to you, couchside. 

Before Tess took the needle and thread between her fingers, she cut away the area of denim that was ripped from your gash.

“Sorry, kid. I’ll get you some new pants.” To be fair, those jeans of yours were filthy with dirt and muck stains you’d never be able to wash out. Not to mention the blood that spread had well enough to become a large patch. She attempted to wipe up the dried viscera around your cut best she could, dabbing with the alcohol lightly to sanitize it. She’d counted on you being unconscious from the pills to start stitching up your gash. Hands steady, she looped the needle and thread through your cut, pulling it closed with each tie. 

Though it wasn’t the most ideal situation for something like this, Tess had the experience. Stitching up cut after cut on the road for god knows how long, trying to keep moving forward, but somehow someone always got hurt. People kept dying, or turning– and that wasn’t even the worst part. Upon making it to Boston, she learned what it was to be calm under situations like this. To become cold. It got the best of her, more often than not; any idea of the old her was lost to dreams of the world before. She never looked back, never slowed down, never took even a moment for herself. Her routine was based strictly around finding the best way to get by in the QZ. The constant eye of FEDRA’s guards and firefly bombings were enough, let alone the mile-long lines for rations that were barely ever in. It was too much to subject herself to being controlled by an invasive military, especially after all she’d done to survive. Each person Tess left behind etched a sliver of her humanity off, chipping away the heartfulness she once carried with pride. 

Save who you can save, the last words whispered to her by someone that sacrificed themselves so she could make it to Boston. Everything blurred together sometime after getting admitted into the city; by then, she’d worn down that kind version of herself into the ground. Possibly that same place where she heard those words before. Quickly, she gained a reputation with Joel by her side in the smuggling business of the zone. It paid well– better than hard labor all day for a cruel amount of flimsy ration cards, just to repeat the same thing over the next day. There was a respectable line Tess drew between the things she’d done in the name of survival, and things she strongly disliked doing. 

Tess’s time in the QZ had only reinforced that rigid outer shell of hers, confident the softer, weaker person inside her was left behind for good.

She’d almost made it through the day without finding any trouble, but her path through the streets was detoured by FEDRA vehicles and it happened to be the quickest route back to her place. Tess’s steps were quick, aiming to make a b-line straight back. 

Then her eyes caught the image of your thoroughly beaten self, and attempted to shut down the itch in the back of her throat she couldn’t quite scratch. 

Just keep walking, she’d told herself. But her subconscious knew better. Then those words echoed lightly through her head. 

Tess, save who you can save…

“Shit…” 

She thought she’d forgotten them all. But time never does. Those poor souls lost to hordes of runners, clickers, stalkers– each one shoved down so deep inside, and the outside shell of her was simple glass. 

Keep walking, just keep walking…. No–

She truly tried to keep going, but each step gnawed into her further. Remembrance of the ones she’d lost shattered the glass holding her back, and glued her feet to the ground in place. A quick curse had Tess looking back over her right shoulder, catching a glimpse of your unmoving body. She’d figured if this were a trap, others would’ve already surrounded her. 

A deep sigh came from her exhale of a tightly held breath; her heart pounding against the inside of her chest, as if something about to burst. Any second thought of moving further had vanished, her feet pivoting against the concrete, toward the stagnant body lying soundless against the brick wall. 

Darkness swallowed every corner of that alley; Tess was fortunate to even have seen you at all. 

It wasn’t often she found herself stopping for anyone that needed help, let alone in the QZ. Underneath the swollen and crimson stained injuries, she saw a young individual subdued and unconscious from their injuries. That was the moment she’d called out to you. 

Tess shook those pre-Boston nightmares from her mind, putting all of her focus onto fixing up your ankle. With the discoloration of bruises that covered your ankle, it baffled her how you were even able to trek as far as you had gone. Her eyebrows furrowed relentlessly, each one of your injuries more surprising than the last. 

“Jesus, kid. What the hell did you get yourself into?” She muttered to herself, before grabbing the roll of bandages from her pack. Tess was so focused on getting your ankle wrapped, that she hadn’t heard the creak of the wooden floor from behind her. 

“Tess… what’re you doin’?” 

Unbothered by the voice, her hands kept working. Though, she knew she’d woken her roommate from his slumber. Joel Miller hadn’t thought this was what he’d be seeing at almost two in the morning. 

“Wrapping an ankle, the hell do you think I’m doing?” 

“Tess. who the fuck is this?” By the tone of his voice, she knew he was pissed. She dare not poke the bear this late. 

“It’s uh… well, no. I don’t know. They couldn’t speak when I found them.” She’d finished securing the bandage around your ankle, and placed it back down on the couch.

“Do you even know their name?” Joel stepped towards Tess, his brow furrowed. 

“Joel… they were lying beat up and bloody in an alley. I wasn’t gonna take the chance and leave them there to die.” She reached for the other pillow on the couch, and placed it delicately for your ankle to rest on. 

“Well, did you even check their pack for weapons?” 

Tess huffed a breath, and stood up straight, turning to the man. 

“I was a little preoccupied making sure they weren’t bleeding out. Besides, they didn’t have any on their body. But if you insist…”

She took the moment now to move towards your pack she’d thrown into a corner earlier, taking out a notebook, some ration cards, and a couple bags of pills. 

“What the fuck? Tess, this could be a setup.” Joel muttered, the tone of his voice unsettled by the situation. 

“What? No. No fucking way, Joel. I’m telling you, they would’ve died out there if it wasn’t for me.” 

“You’ve gotta stop tryin’ to save people that ain’t worth it. That’s how we’re still alive, why we’re here and the dead ain’t.” 

“No, I don’t believe you. They’re unconscious and didn’t even see you, by the way. I think you’re fine.” Tess shook her head while she spoke. 

“Well, it’s our business that goes to shit if you’re wrong.” Joel spat, beginning to walk back to his door. 

“I don’t really give a shit. Not tonight. What I do care about is making sure this person stays alive. I couldn’t care less about distributing pills to junkies.” 

She did care about the smuggling, just not as much as she did about keeping you alive for the night. 

“Yeah, whatever.” 

His door shut and locked, leaving Tess alone with you for the night. She collected herself after that conversation, preparing anything she might need throughout the night to treat you. Just in case. 

Her muscles finally relaxed the minute she’d sat down in a chair adjacent to her couch. While she draped a blanket over her legs, Tess took one last look at you, studying your rising chest and calm features. 

You’re gonna be alright. 

Beams of sunlight painted the walls with a glowing warmth, cast across the older woman’s skin. Morning broke early, waking Tess before either of the habitants that resided in the Boston apartment. She’d always been a light sleeper, despite that it was loud most hours in the walls of the QZ. Living in Detroit her whole life had certainly accustomed her to it. 

Her hazel eyes opened against the light, finding themselves staring upwards at the ceiling. Tess had woken up several times throughout the night, which had become a normal occurrence for her. Events from last night flashed through her mind as she rose from her slumber. Her slumped position resulted with an uncomfortable spot in her neck from the chair she’d been in all night. Tess sat up as best she could, grasping the nape of her neck for comfort. No matter how many times she tried to get rid of the pain, nothing relieved her. Defeated by the lack of sleep, she rose from the chair and looked over at you still asleep on the couch. 

Rays of sunlight happened to catch right over your face, peeking through the blinds as they awoke you from rest. Yesterday had become a blur quicker than light. 

Where am I? What happened to me? It hurts everywhere…

You shifted lightly with a groan, eyes still closed. A headache pinged at the sides of your temples, and you took a sharp breath out of reflex. You weren’t able to move your body freely; exhaustion had drained you enough. Out of the blue, you heard a female voice echoing in your ears. Your one good eye opened, and it took a minute to adjust to the light, along with any blurriness. 

“Hey, you with me?” Her voice called out to you, unintelligible at first, but once you focused on the words more, you understood. 

“Where… where am I?” You mumbled, attempting to lift yourself up. You didn’t know what was worse; not knowing where you were, or not being able to lift your body normally. 

“Don’t try to sit up. You’re safe, but you’re too weak to sit up right now. I saved you last night, patched you up. Remember? My name’s Tess.” 

“Not really…” you sighed, accepting your weakened state. 

Tess knew it would take more than just one night to gain your trust; she also knew Joel wouldn’t be as patient. She crouched down by the side of the couch where you were, getting closer to make sure you heard her. 

“So, I pulled you out of that alley last night, patched you up and kept you safe the past twelve hours. I think that warrants me your name.” 

Your eyes glanced over her figure, the image of Tess still fuzzy. Considering all the factors, and the fact that you were still alive, you gave in and told her your name. Tess nodded contently and spoke again.

“Well, you probably have a concussion. But I cleaned and bandaged up everything else I could. Your left arm was dislocated, but I popped it back in last night. That’s why it’s in the sling. Don’t try to move it much, it’ll take a while to heal. As for your ankle, it’s twisted pretty bad. Bruised, too. You’re gonna be off your feet for a while.” Surveying the bumps and bruises you’d received, she set other supplies to the side on the floor.

You glanced down at your body, pulling back the blanket over your legs to find your stained jeans and the stitched up gash, with other bandaging around your ankle. 

“You saved me? And bandaged me up?” You speak clearly for the first time, and Tess stopped in her movement. 

“Yeah. You’re lucky to be alive. I wasn’t gonna let you die out there.” 

“What..” you swallowed, “What happened to me?” 

“From the looks of it, you were on the bad side of a shitty deal gone wrong. Like I said, you’re lucky to be alive.” Her tone was calm, and impressive to see in a situation that was anything but. 

“You went through my pack?” 

“I found you in an alley. Almost dead. Can you blame me?” 

“Guess not…” you said, sighing and trying to sit up. With one arm in a sling, you were having trouble moving without anything hurting. The pills were wearing off little by little as time passed. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that. You’re gonna be couch bound for a while.” 

“What? No way. I need to… I have business and shit I need to get done–” 

“Don’t play coy. We know you’re a smuggler.” She shoved her hands in her pockets, pacing in small circles. 

“Well, you went through my bag. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. Wait, did you say we?” 

Before Tess could respond, a gray haired man emerged from behind her, jutting into the conversation. 

“You’re real cocky for someone that almost ended up dead from one of your clients. For all I know, this whole thing is a setup for you to rob us, kill us, or somethin’ else. But I ain’t gonna take that chance. Not now, not ever. Are we clear?” His southern accent came out as he spoke, and it wasn’t often you heard a voice like his among the Boston streets. It was intimidating enough; you didn’t trust him. 

“Yeah– okay, dude. Jesus, I don’t even know who you are. I didn’t know you guys were smugglers!” your voice strained while you lift your arm to gesture. 

“Joel, I was the one that brought them here. Like you said, this is on me. And I’ve got it. Walk it off, Texas.” 

The man named Joel walked backwards, dark eyes trained on you until the moment he turned around and left. He shut the front door in haste. 

“Is he always that tense?” You ask, taking a deep breath. 

“No. It’s not every day I bring anyone back to this apartment. Let alone someone who looked half dead, like yourself. No offense.” 

“Yeah… Why did you save me, by the way? You could’ve just left me there. But you didn’t.” 

“I told you… I wasn’t going to let you die. I thought you were dead at first, but I took the chance and saved your damn life. Is that what you wanna hear?” Your vision was still a little blurry, but you could focus on the woman’s features much more easily up close. You finally made out the face of your savior, Tess was a woman with light brown hair, longer than her shoulders but not too long. Her eyes were green, and there were lines on her face from time passing. With her stern voice, you wouldn’t know her face would look as calm. 

“Well, thank you.” You admitted, half ashamed you even thought about staying there to die in the first place. 

“You’re welcome.” 

Just as the silence settled, your body became aware of every injury you’d received. A sound of discomfort slipped past your lips, furrowing your eyebrows together. 

“Are you in pain? What hurts?” Tess began looking over the stitches she’d done the night before. 

With a groan, you replied, “Everything…” 

“Alright, I can give you a couple more pills for the pain. Uh wait– do you need to use the bathroom? I assume it’s been a while…” 

“Oh, yeah. I think in my near death I’d been.. You know, going without the ability to control it.” 

“Right… Well, I can get you a clean pair of clothes, but it won’t do any good if you’re wearing your own body fluids. Do you– would you like a bath?” 

Immediately insecure, you realized how filthy you must’ve become, spending most of yesterday soaked in your own blood and urine. Quickly, you nodded while looking down, shame washing over you. 

“Okay, Joel’s not gonna be back for a few hours. I can spare you some new clothes and underwear, but your boots I can just clean off later. I’ll re-wrap your injuries after, too. For now, we’ve gotta get you cleaned up.” 

She lifted you from the couch dutifully and slung you over her shoulder to head towards the bathroom. Tess recognized your sounds of discomfort, a string of sharp breaths and muffled groans you thought she didn’t hear. 

“Almost there. Here we go.” Her hip pushed the door open, sitting you on the chair next to the tub. Once the water was on and flowing, Tess found the right temperature and began filling the tub. She made her way back to you, and began to untie your boots, placing them off to the side. She took off your button down shirt, which revealed more black and blue bruising across your back and shoulder. You hissed a breath as she pulled the sleeve down off your left arm. Before moving further, Tess looked toward you with kind eyes. 

“It’s okay. Don’t feel ashamed. It’s just hard now. But you’ll be alright… Can I continue?” Her hand rested on your good shoulder patiently. You nodded silently, realizing the intimacy of the situation and looked down at the floor. 

Slowly, cautiously, and gently, she undressed you while the tub filled beside you both. Not only was your body covered in bruises and scrapes, but dried blood and other viscera had caked on a few layers. The bandages from last night were discarded to the side, fresh ones in the other room for when you were clean. She saw your reaction as you entered the water, your face contorted in both pain and pleasure while you sat. The warmth of the liquid against your torso was another level of soothing, flooding your skin with goosebumps and washing off some of the dried blood upon submerging yourself into the tub. Tess grabbed a washcloth and bar of soap, lathering it up before wiping it across your back. 

“I don’t know how to thank you. This is…” 

“You don’t have to say anything. And you don’t have to thank me. Please– please don’t thank me.” Tess knew this wouldn’t make up for the numerous people she’d left behind– left to die so she could persevere ahead. But all she had to do was goddamn try. 

A comfortable silence settled between the two of you, sighing while she kept cleaning off your body. Her hands were soft against your skin, sending shivers up your spine. Though she was doing something as intimate as washing you, it didn’t bother you as much as it would have on any other occasion. She carefully avoided running over your scrapes and other open wounds, yet still washing them lightly with the soap and water. Before long, the water had become a dark brown color from how much had washed off of you. Tess began to drain the tub, keeping the faucet running as it drained. 

“Mind if I wash your hair?” 

It was just a simple question, but it sparked your anxiety a bit more than when she undressed you earlier. 

“Uh.. sure.” 

Tess washed out the tub with a bucket while you sat in it. She lathered some shampoo between her palms, rubbing it across your scalp with gentle fingers. 

You couldn’t deny, Tess’s hands were calloused and rough, but they felt like heaven against your scalp. Rubbing the pads of her fingers into your head was somehow better than all the times you’d done it yourself. Eyebrows furrowed against the sensation, and you groaned lowly. You somehow alerted Tess, wondering if she’d pressed too firmly on your head. 

“What happened? Does it hurt? Sorry if I’m going too hard–”

“No, it’s great. Keep going.” You breathed. 

“Okay..” she chuckled a bit before continuing, then used the bucket to wash the rest out from your locks before applying conditioner. One of her hands grabbed the brush on the floor, slowly untangling the mess of knots in your hair. The warm water calmed you like nothing you’d experienced before, at least not since after the world fell. Appreciation flowed through you, and the comfortable silence reinforced that all the more. It was a safe feeling, one you shared with this kind, and beautiful woman. She’d washed the leftover soap and conditioner off your body, and began to towel dry your skin in a gentle manner. 

“Here, wrap yourself in this. I’ll be right back with the clothes.” Quick footsteps brought her to the pile of clothes she’d attained over the months on the run. She’d returned to the bathroom with a few things in hand, and approached you. Carefully, she stood you from the tub and stepped back onto the floor while wiping the remaining water droplets off your back. 

“Thanks..” you shivered a bit against the cold air, wanting to be clothed and back under the thick blanket. The socks she slipped over your feet helped warm you, while carefully slipping on the rest of her clothes. Tess even brought a spare sports bra for you to borrow for the time being. Something about the way she moved so calmly, spoke with such a soothing voice that made this whole situation seem lighter. On any other day, you’d be stressing about finding the right pills for a client or risking your life outside the walls. Her soft movements sparked something inside you with a new kind of warmth, and it almost atoned for everything you’d been through the past 12 hours. 

Once you were dressed, Tess towel dried your hair and began to tie up another sling for your arm. 

“When you’re back on the couch, I’m gonna put some ice on your ankle. It’ll help with the swelling and probably some of the pain.” You nodded silently, taken back constantly by her kindness. 

“If you’re in pain, I could give you another dose of pain meds. But it depends on if you want to eat something beforehand. It’s been since yesterday since you ate anything, probably for the both of us. I can fix you something to eat, though.” 

“Oh, uh, sure.” You weren’t completely sure what you were doing here still, your mind foggy from the night before. The way your injuries burned and ached against one another had you aching for some kind of relief– any kind at this point. How you got yourself here, you weren’t sure of either. 

Not much later, Tess came over with something suitable for you to eat, before giving you a couple more pills for the pain. Again you fell drowsy from the pain medication, resting the day away. With you resting calmly on the couch, Tess did her best to stay awake until Joel returned, running on less than five hours of sleep. It felt like ages before he came through the apartment door once again. 

“Hey, can you… keep an eye on them, please… I barely got any shuteye last night.” 

“I just got back–” 

“Joel, please.”

“Fine.” 

“Don’t hurt them, Miller. Seriously. Or I’ll hurt you.” She mumbled under her breath, trudging to the door. 

“I’ve got it. Just go.” 

With that, Tess collapsed on her mattress, not even bothering to pull the sheet over her, before drifting off to sleep the minute her eyelids fluttered shut. 

On the couch, you woke to a silent morning; no movement could be heard amongst the apartment. Your eyelids fluttered open, turning your head to look for Tess; instead you were met with the dark eyes of Joel Miller. His figure sat across from you, adjusting the gun in his hand so you could see it well. 

“You try anything funny, you get a bullet.” Joel raised his hand to gesture with the weapon. He noticed the bags under your eyes were dark and sunken in, making you appear more dead than alive at the moment, despite all the bandages. 

“You wouldn’t shoot me here. It’d be too loud and soldiers would be here quicker than light.” You rasped, coughing lightly from your dry throat. 

“Wanna bet?” He leaned in with a menacing glare. You kept eye contact with him as he began to stand, the intimidation not making a dent in you. It was enough to make Joel second guess his opinion of you for a moment. 

“Joel, stand down.” Tess called from the other side of the room. You called her name from the couch, and she quickly replied. 

“I’m here. Do you need anything?” She came into eyesight now, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and casually wearing a sweatshirt. Tess gave Joel a look, motioning for him to leave the room. 

“Yeah. I need to get out of here and home.” Your eyes watched the older man get up, watching as Tess approached, “My client’s probably freaking the fuck out and wreaking havoc across the QZ looking for me.” 

“About that…” She strolled over to where you were, taking a seat, “You need to tell me who did this to you.”

“What? N-No… I can’t. He’s my client. I can deal with him.” You shot up in your seat, groaning slightly. 

“Oh right. Like that worked out so well last time?” Joel spoke, walking away. Your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance at what Tess was suggesting.

“Trust me, kid. You’ll thank me later.” She added. 

“I’m already thanking you later. I’ll probably be owing you for the rest of my life.” 

“No, kid–” 

“Don’t call me kid. I’m grown. I can take care of myself.” 

“Okay, you’re gonna have to prove it, then. You still need time to heal.” Tess insisted you lay down again, but her words flew in one ear and out the other.

“I need to not be couch bound and sleeping through the day! I need to have a life, some kind of life in this shit hole of a city! Don’t you get it?” Your voice was rising, straining against the irritation. 

“I do, trust me. I do. It’s why we got into that business, too. But hun, you didn’t deserve what happened to you. I hope you know that. Now, I’d like to know…” She leaned in closer, lowering her voice to look you in the eye. 

“Let it go. It doesn’t matter!” 

“Yes it does. Who did this to you?” Her voice spoke pointedly, holding strong eye contact with you. Your eyes closed for a second, throwing your head back with a sigh. 

“His info is on the third page in my notebook. You’ll know it’s him cause his orders take up almost the whole fucking page.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as Tess stepped toward your pack, rummaging through it until she found the notepad. Pocketing it, she walked over to Joel’s door, ajar, and spoke. 

“Texas, make our guest something to eat. I have some business to attend to.” She turned toward the door, exiting the apartment with your notebook in hand. 

“Wait, Tess!” 

Your voice fell on deaf ears; she was already down the hallway and gone. Once the man emerged from his bedroom, you shared a plain look as he made his way to the kitchen. Before reaching for the cupboard doors, he grabbed the bottle of amber liquor and poured some into a glass. 

“Pour me a glass of that, please.” 

“Are you even old enough?” 

“Are you kidding? I’m 25. Now can you pour me a damn drink already?” 

Silently, Joel rolled his eyes and poured some into a glass for you. It was his peace offering before he went back to find something for you to eat. You ended up sharing some soup and crackers with Joel for dinner, awaiting the older woman’s return afterwards.

An hour or two passed before Tess made her way back. You were resting on the couch when the door opened. She took a sharp breath in upon entering, and let the door slam behind her louder than usual. It gained your attention and Joel’s, looking toward the door. You heard her hiss a breath, while she shook out her fist. 

“Shit, Tess. What did you do?” She walked further into the apartment, the light glimmering against the fresh blood across her lip. 

“Took care of that client of yours.” She muffled a groan, stretching out her fist while her knuckles bled. 

“Did you kill him? The fuck–” You began to try and stand on your good foot, but stumbled before you could get any closer to her. 

“What? No, I didn’t kill him. Just taught him a lesson. That smug fucker. I don’t know why you did business with him. He’s a bad junkie. You never do business with a bad junkie.” She sat down near you again, noticing the empty whiskey glass nearby on the floor. 

“He was my most frequent customer. Shady as hell, if I’m honest, he kinda scared me. That’s how I knew it was him when I got attacked. 

“That’s naïve of you. Why would you ever do something that risky by yourself?” 

“I… didn’t have anyone else who was willing to risk their lives sneaking around the QZ. So I said fuck it.” 

“Well, I still think you’re a dumbass. You’re just lucky you’re staying out of the smuggling market for a while.” 

“No, I told you I can’t. I need to–” 

“You need to rest and heal. I swear to god, if I hear one more word about you getting on your feet before you’re a hundred percent, I swear I’ll chain you to the couch.” 

“Jesus, fine. I won’t go back out there. Throw my entire business away just to wait till these injuries kill me in the middle of the night, I guess.” 

“Hey, you’re gonna be fine. The only reason I’m being an asshole about this is because I want you to survive. I didn’t pull you off the street to let you go back to that shitty situation.” Her words were honest, even if you didn’t believe them. 

“Well, thanks. I guess.” 

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” She shrugged your thanks off and went about her business. 

The future weeks proved to be the longest haul you thought you’d ever been in. It consisted of a lot of reading, sleeping, and wishing you could be on your feet. You ended up asking Tess to take a trip to your place and retrieve some of your things; you were tired of having to put her out of her own clothes to wear. Plus it would just be more comfortable for you. Tess checked your injuries daily, reapplying bandages and cleaning on a steady schedule. She would not let you die from infections after doing all she could to save your life that night. 

The two older individuals went about their days more regularly once you were out of the woods with all of your injuries. Tess helped you to and from the table so you could join them for meals, otherwise spending the day rereading old books and magazines while trying to find other things to do than just sit around and rot. You were grateful for Tess saving your life, but this healing process was a bitch. 

 Standing wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be, especially having been off your feet for days on end. Much less the blood loss you’d experienced, it was humbling to not be able to get around on your own. Slowly as the first week passed, Tess helped you get back on your feet bit by bit. You had enough strength after another week to stand on your own.

One day, the smuggling duo was planning a run while surveying a map they’d drawn up. You nonchalantly watched, sitting in a chair neary. They hadn’t noticed you, until you mentioned a route they hadn’t heard of, and her attention turned to you, impressed with your knowledge and jotted the trail down for later. 

“Wait, question. Do you guys know Robert?” Your arms crossed over your chest. 

Both Joel and Tess turned towards you now, their eyes widened and faces grim. 

“Why?” Joel asked with a stern voice. 

“He’s one of the guys that uses that route. At least, his guys do. So be careful.” 

“You’re telling me you used to run with Robert?” 

“Only for a little. Seemed like he wanted more than just business… with me. But I got out of there before it was too late.” Tess scoffed, a smirk forming on her face. 

“Tell you what. You wanna keep smuggling, you join us when you’re fully healed.” 

Joel turned to her, but she shot him a look and turned back to the map silently. 

“You’re sure?” You asked, sitting up. 

“I’m sure. Not gonna let you put yourself in danger again when you could have us at your side.” She looked back down at the map and continued jotting in her notes. 

“Okay, cool.” You smiled to yourself, thinking Tess didn’t see, but she glanced up for a moment after she heard your words. She noticed the eagerness in your eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. 

So, it wasn’t all for nothing, you thought. 

You weren’t given a second chance to live just to lose what got you through the days and weeks on your own. This gave you another opportunity to survive with individuals by your side; you wouldn’t be alone anymore. 

Caring came far too easy for Tess. She'd seem cold on the outside, and sure, she was a reserved person. But to see you so overjoyed about being able to continue smuggling, she couldn’t help but have a little warm feeling in her chest. 

She thought the first time would be the only time a spark would flicker inside her. But then you were laughing at something idiotic one night, and she felt it again. The tensions between you and Joel had broken– finally. For the first time in a while, Tess saw multiple things looking up: you were recovering on a steady pace, and on an even better note, becoming a friend to her. She read you books, mostly classics from what she’d traded for. Ultimately grateful, you listened intently to every word she read, while trying to not fall asleep from her soothing voice. 

Under all the scratches and bruises, Tess saw your kindness and personality reveal with everyday that passed. She became privy to the way you saw the world with a gentle hand, reinforcing that spark in her chest. Yet that same spark came with guilt; she knew it wasn’t fair to fall for you after all you’d been through. She wasn’t sure if you’d ever trust someone like that again. So that spark was only kept as embers, in a lockbox on a very high, very dusty shelf in her mind. 

Another week of healing went by, and you were finally able to stop wearing your arm in a sling. You spent the day traveling back to your place to grab some things you’d need for the next few days. Tess insisted you stay in the apartment with her and Joel while you healed. You hadn’t been home since the day you were attacked, other than the days Tess was kind enough to retrieve some things for you. 

As of present day, you had gained the ability to walk on your ankle back after almost a month of being off it. The first thought in your head the morning of was that a trip outside the walls of the apartment. You also knew others might want to pay you a visit if you returned back by yourself, which is when you mentioned the idea to Tess. 

“Yeah, you’re definitely not going alone. I’ll come with. When do we leave?” 

“Right now.” You grinned at her with content before you went to grab your pack. 

The two of you flew down the steps and out the door, Tess following behind you with caution. Your first step into the outside air was something you missed within almost a month of being indoors. While it wasn’t exactly sunny, the cool air was refreshing against your skin and differed greatly from the apartment. 

“Don’t run off now.” the older woman muttered, shutting the door behind her. Just from the way you moved, Tess could tell you were in need of something like this. You looked around at the same old streets of the QZ like it was something completely new. She felt lucky to be the one seeing this part of you, the healed and healthy part. 

“C’mon, I’ll lead the way.” You turned back to her, noticing her hazel eyes trained in your direction, then shifted to the path in front of you. A few minutes of walking passed, and you’d picked up some pairs of eyes looking your way from people on the surrounding streets. It was more of a side eye glance than a stare, but still you noticed it. After being terrified to leave the four walls of the apartment, being perceived was a bit more intimidating than you thought it’d be. You slowed your steps, letting Tess catch up with you. 

“Um, Tess?” You mumbled, glancing back towards her. 

“What’s up?” 

“All these people keep staring...” 

Tess surveyed the area before noticing something you hadn’t, and she chuckled. 

“They’re not looking at you, they’re staring at me.” You did a quick glance back and forth, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure. Let’s keep going.” You turned back after nodding to her, hiding the tiny smile that snuck its way onto your lips. It was almost like walking with a scary dog at your side, except said scary dog was the taller woman trailing behind you. 

From the way multiple pairs of eyes shot in her direction, some glazed over, some didn’t notice as you passed by. Other pairs of eyes widened as they fell on the figure of the woman behind you. You don’t know how she’s done it, but Tess Servopolous has the Boston QZ wrapped around her finger. It seemed everyone–including Joel Miller himself– had themselves under her spell. They did whatever she wanted the moment she asked. There was no second guessing her, and when she said to do something, you were damn well to do it. You learned the hard way during your healing process, stubborn and complaining that you couldn’t get around on your own. 

One night when you were bickering, she’d tried to convince you that you weren’t ready to try and walk on your bad ankle yet. Stubborn and impatient, you kept talking back to her. 

“Don’t even try to get up.” 

You’d been overstressing yourself about getting back on your feet, so as to find another way to keep smuggling. 

“Watch me.” You had hoisted yourself off the couch halfway, then used the last of your stamina to pull yourself the rest of the way up. The first step you took was with your good foot, but the minute you stepped with the other, you groaned and stumbled from the pain, landing on the ground. 

“I told you…” Tess was at your side before you could attempt to move yourself back to the couch.

Gentle and slow, her hands around your body were familiar as if you’d known them to be the hands of a long time lover. They were just Tess’s hands, but to you, they couldn’t hurt or kill any more than they could wash over your injuries with a soft touch. When you got a better look at her for the first time, you saw the kindness in her eyes, and her heart in the actions she took towards you. 

Common human decency was to take care of someone injured or sick, but you felt something different in the way she tended to you. It was in the way she used her hand to lift up your chin to check how your cuts were healing. Especially when she inspected the one on your lip for a bit too long, claiming it was healing fast and that you shouldn’t try to open it again. All you could hear when she spoke was your own heart beating in your ears, lost in the hazel of her eyes. She’d even found you a cane, but you paid it no mind and kept letting her help you instead.

“I’d hate to feel like a burden…” 

“It’s alright, I don’t mind taking care of you.” A warmth flushed through your cheeks when her words hit your ears. 

You could tell somewhere deep down, Tess used to care for people as easy as breathing. From the way she knew so much about patching others up, she wanted to keep people going, no matter the circumstances, you knew she cared much more than she showed. 

Being on your feet again, outside those same bland apartment walls brought a new feeling you weren’t able to identify. It was different not walking alone for once in the streets, always having to glance over your shoulder just in case. Now when you looked over your shoulder, you saw Tess, and you hoped she’d stay in your life for longer than just when you were healing from your injuries. She meant too much to you to just forget about after she’d been by your side the whole time. 

The route to your apartment wasn’t far from where Tess lived, and you were there within no time. It was a bit overwhelming once you came up to the door, fidgeting with the keyring until it clicked into the lock. 

“Well, here we are.” You opened the door, stepping into the stale air of your place. Things were as you’d left them, with a few odds and ends out of order from when Tess had stopped by for some of your toiletries. All your knickknacks were scattered about, some across the countertops and any spare surface you could find. Some, if not most, were collected on the road, and others were from your home when you first fled. 

“Nice place you got here.” 

“You should know, being the only person to be here besides me in the past few weeks.” you chuckle, shoving your keys back in your jeans pocket. They actually happened to be Tess’s, but you couldn’t tell the difference anymore. She didn’t mind either.

She’d been contemplating a lot on the walk over, worried about what might happen when you were fully healed. Tess knew there was a problem when her heart warmed at the sight of you sleeping peacefully on the couch, then remembered what you’d been through and wanted to burn the whole QZ down. 

It was almost gone when you started to heal, until she couldn’t sleep thinking about what could happen to you when you went back out there. A wave of restlessness washed over her, and it’d been very hard to accept the fact that you could end up right back where she found you. 

“Guess you’re right.” Tess muttered, stepping into the cool air of the apartment. 

“I’ll be a minute, gonna grab some clothes and then we can head back.” You spoke, her eyes trailing down your back as you walked into the other room. Silently, she moved about the main room, her eyes catching all the different little objects around the space. Tess didn’t know how you had time to collect all these different things– from shells to rocks to other small toys and charms that lay about– there was no shortage of oddities. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of your open bedroom door. Timidly, she peeked inside to see you rustling through a few drawers and shoving clothes into a backpack. 

“Nice… room. Cozy.” You glanced up at her for a moment while folding the clothes to put in your bag. 

“Thanks, I tried to make it as home-y as possible. Makes up for the whole quarantine zone thing.” 

“I get it.” Tess chewed the inside of her lip nervously, stepping into the room slightly, leaning one of her arms against the doorframe.

“Do you? That place of yours is barely decorated.” You snarked, trying to cover up how aware you were of how domestic she looked standing in your bedroom doorway. She was perfect with the light beams of sunlight peeking over her shoulder. 

“Guess stuff like that doesn’t really matter to me.” 

But she wanted it to matter; she wanted it to matter to her so desperately. For you, she’d do anything– put up with whatever you threw at her, because she cared. There wasn’t a way to tell when Tess noticed this fire burning inside her, lit aflame by your out righteousness. 

She pined to see reminders of you every day when she wakes up. To see you when she opened her eyes in the morning. You’d simply been indented into her mind, and refused to give way. 

“Y’know, you’re still welcome at my place after you get back on your feet. Seriously. My place is yours.” Tess took a step into your room nervously. 

“Oh, well thanks. That means a lot. I mean… I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me. It’s not like we won’t see each other ever again. I’ll probably spend most nights at your place when we start working together.” 

I would never want to stop coming around you either way… 

On the instance of becoming friends with the woman who saved your life, it occurred to you quite rapidly that the feelings you had for her weren’t just appreciation. It shouldn’t have been that easy to realize you wanted her… to be entranced with her in a way so distracting. Some days you weren’t sure if you were actually feeling better on account of listening to every groove of her voice streak through your mind with no return. You could hardly believe she was standing in your apartment as of today, let alone sharing a space so intimate as your bedroom. 

“Besides… It's your apartment. You must both want your respective space back.” 

Tess sighed, masking the pit in her stomach when she thought about you on your own again. God forbid you ended up right where she found you; that would be a gut wrenching nightmare. It was already hard enough seeing you beaten up and barely hanging on to life. To even ponder the idea that it could happen again? She’d take absolutely no chances. 

Getting protective when you’ve known them for three weeks, Tess? Pretty weak to let someone in while you couldn’t protect the rest of them.

“Even when you do start working with us, you’ll be right between me and Joel. That way you’ll always have one of us on your six, watching your back. We’ll have your back.” She started with a small smile, while simultaneously ignoring the voice in her head. You met her eye and nodded with a smile, zipping your bag shut. 

“Very considerate of you, Tess. But if you don’t teach me how to hold my own, I’ll start practicing on Joel.” You slung your bag across your shoulder, watching as Tess followed you out. 

“Oh, I’ll definitely teach you. Joel will just have to be fine with being the dummy.” She followed with a chuckle, taking another look at the interior of your bedroom like she would never see it again. 

“Well, don’t worry. I’ll still be on your couch tonight.” You said, before walking out the door and locking it behind Tess. 

The only epiphany Tess had that day was that she never wanted you to leave. Never wanted to lose sight of you, never wanted to be without you, could never even imagine losing you. Tess had stuffed all those warm feelings down in a tight little box that sat on a dusty shelf in the back of her mind. When she would revisit the idea of actually having a chance with you, she was unsure. But she’d do her damndest in the meantime to shove away those pesky butterflies in her stomach. 

It would be a long, long time before she revisited that box again. 

a/n: i linked it at the top but i will link it here as well, this is a prequel to another one of my fics called long long time. You can find that fic here and all my other tess fics here!

#ryesff #devnmon writes #devnmonwrites #tess servopolous #tess tlou #tess tlou hbo #tess servopolous x reader #tess servopolous fanfiction #angst #theresa servopolous #theresa tess servopolous #tess x reader #tess the last of us #tess tlou fanfic #tess the last of us part 1 #wlw fanfic #wlw #wlw fanfiction #dividers by cafekitsune #dividers by saradika

[untamableshipper]

AYO TESS FROM THE LAST OF US IS GREEK???? HER NAME IS ACTUALLY THERESA SERVOPOLOUS OMG

#tlou #Holy shit #mystery solved #Tess #the last of us #Theresa SERVOPOLOUS

[thirtysevenodddogs]

Teenage Dream Ch10

MATURE CONTENT 18+

Pairings: Main-Joel Miller x Ofc/Reader/You (reader has a name)

Secondary- Joel x Tess / Mentioned- Ellie x Riley, Tommy x Maria

Fic Warnings: 30/y Age Difference, Joel is 48, Reader is 18, Underage for Ch1 (reader is 17), Unprotected Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Anal Play, Use of Sex Toys, Outdoor Sex, Squirting, Sex Tapes, Infidelity, Rough Sex, Spitting, Face Slapping, DV, Pregnancy.

Word Count: 6k+

AU-No Cordyceps Outbreak/Sarah is alive

BFD!Joel Miller

Joel Miller is having an affair with his daughters' best friend.

You can read the rest of this fic in my AO3 -> In Madness

Notes and reference images can also be found on Ao3

He's been staring at the grainy black and white picture since Tess handed it to him an hour ago, he's still naked, sticky, and itchy from dry sweat and come, and the room smells like his vomit, but he can't fucking tear his eyes away from the image.

It's badly printed, on that kind of funny glossy paper that looks and feels almost exactly like a grocery store receipt, a small rectangle not even the size of his palm, deep black with a white edge, and right at the top, the words that seal his fate.

07/11/2023 16:2:32 PM - Servopolous, Theresa -  4Weeks 3Days

It's a dream turned to nightmare, a tiny little bubble floating in the middle of the static, not even a fully formed shape yet, and he feels like a monster because he doesn't fucking want this, he never did, he had been very clear about that, he KNOWS he told her, before they even became a... thing, that he wasn't really looking for more.

And the truth is, four years ago he hadn't even been looking at all, he was too busy, committed enough to his angst-filled 13-year-old daughters and his pain-in-the-ass growing business, still living in San Antonio and commuting every other week, just so his kids could see their mom.

And he liked his life the way it fucking was, he had two perfectly good hands and a steady enough string of well-serviced and satisfactory one-night-stands, he didn't want complications, he didn't need a relationship, he wasn't looking for a wife or a mother for his children, and he had been sooo FUCKING clear.

Back then all he was really trying to do was build a relationship with his baby brother, and that day Tess was just there, right place, right time.

Wrong man.

But she was... relentless, and she wore him down, little by little, inch by inch, a mindblowing hook-up became a tentative friendship, became a lukewarm romance. And is not like he's innocent in the situation, not at all, she was hot, she was lonely, she was fucking... EASY. And she had agreed that it was what it was and it would never be anything else. They had a deal.

'Wait a minute' he thinks, and he frowns, still staring down at that little bubble because they did have a deal actually, the same deal he made with you that Monday afternoon inside his truck. He wasn't taking any chances... or so he thought.

He licks his lips and takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what he's about to say "When did you stop taking it?" and the way she scoffs makes his skin crawl, such an ugly sound. "When did you start fucking her?" she sneers at him, but he's not in the mood to play the blame game, he knows what he did was shitty, and he's man enough to admit it.

This relationship is over no matter what, it had been begging to be put out of its misery long before you came along, he'd just been dragging his feet on the way to take the shot; you barely nudged him a half step.

And he needs to know.

"Almost 5 months ago" he replies, he tries to be calm, he's angry and she's spiteful and it's a terrible fucking situation, but there's no need to make it worse, so he swallows the anger down, and he takes the blow because that's what he had come here for anyway. "Middle of June" he continues. "That was the first time, didn't plan it or anything, it just happened, just the one time, and I didn't think it was gonna happen again, but..." he looks at her then, finally tearing his eyes away from that tiny bubble "I want to be with her", he doesn't let go of the picture.

She nods her head, biting her lip and looking down into her knees, she's still naked as well, sitting right next to him, legs drawn up against her chest, arms wrapped around herself, she looks so small, and he can see it now.

The pain.

"Did you stop taking the pill?" he asks again, and he tries to sound less accusatory than he had before, he's still the asshole here, because while he might have never returned her feelings, he had still agreed to this relationship, he's the cheater, he's the liar.

She sniffles, and it's not until she lets her face rest against her knees and turns to look at him that Joel can see she's crying, and she is so beautiful, she really is, all pale freckled-skin and long fire-red hair, she's always been beautiful, tall and fit and sweet.

He feels... nothing.

He didn't even realize until he got that first taste of you, that he had been numb for the past 3 years, stuck in HER love story, going on dates she wanted to go on, eating at restaurants she wanted to eat at, visiting her parents, her home town. He was indifferent to it all, it kept her happy and got his dick wet somewhat regularly, without him having to put in any effort at all.

It was what he wanted it to be, uncomplicated, they didn't fight about anything and barely talked beyond superficial topics, in fact, most of the information Joel knew about Tess came from those Sunday visits with her parents, for almost an entire year before they became a couple all he knew about her was her name, that she was a widower and that she sucked cock better than she baked cookies.

And he never really cared to learn much more than that, not like he does with you. He wants to know everything there is to know about you now, and he wants to be there while you discover so much more.

He hasn't felt the way you make him feel in a long time, way before Tess, hell, way before his marriage. You make him feel illusioned again, hopeful, amazed, happy... you break his heart and put it back together with a little smile, a soft kiss, a tender touch. Five days of you giving him the cold shoulder drove him nearly insane, not talking to you, not seeing you, not HAVING you, got him near the edge of desperation.

Tess... he could go a month not saying a single word to her, and it didn't even register.

He hadn't felt sadness or anger or YEARNING for a woman in well over a decade. You gave him back his soul and reignited his passion. Your touch, your scent, your voice...

He should have ended things with Tess 5 months ago because he fucking knew it was over, he remembers the exact moment even, your hands against his wall, your body in a perfect curve almost bent over his pillows, your ass bouncing against his hips, sweat dripping down your spine... he remembers sparing a thought to Tess then, thinking about the marks on his shoulders, thinking she might be upset, might be hurt, still... that was the moment he knew, deep down, it was over, he was done.

She sniffs again "So... This is it?" she wipes away a tear as it runs down her cheek and Joel sighs because he's starting to get the idea that this wasn't a "little accident", the last glimmer of hope he has that it was just a fluke, that they are one of the odd ones, in that tiny little 3% where the safety net didn't work, is fading fast, along with his patience.

"Tess. Pleeease." And he's not really sure what he's pleading for here, please tell me it's not real, please tell me you're not that fucking stupid... just... PLEASE.

The silent little tears turn into streams, and she tightens her hold on her legs and presses her cheek down into her knee harder, like she's trying to hide away, disappear without moving an inch. Her voice breaks and her lips tremble, and when she speaks he can see the strings of saliva as her mouth floods with her sorrow "I never took it" She sobs.

She's openly weeping now.

Joel feels a jolt in his stomach, he can taste vile in the back of his throat, and he knows that if he hadn't already thrown up he'd be getting sick right now because it's fucking worse than he thought, and he IS one of the odd ones, only, it turns out he's fuckin lucky he didn't get his girlfriend pregnant until now.

Three goddamned years, she's been lying to him.

He can't breathe, he's beyond anger now, he feels trapped and betrayed.

He fucking trusted her.

September 20th 2019

"Come on Joel! When was the last time you did anything fun?"  Tommy's looking at him so earnestly, like a puppy wagging its tail waiting for its owner to throw a ball, it's disgusting... and it's working.

Joel sighs "Double dates are never fun" he grumbles, but still, he snatches his jacket out of Tommy's hands and puts it on, it's Friday night, his kids are with their mom and his brother is right, he hasn't had an actual day off in ages, let alone done anything fun... tho he doubts this will be any fun at all.

He just hopes Maria's finally got some good shit behind that bar, he's tired of beer on tap and 5-dollar shots of cheap watered-down whiskey; if he's gonna sit through this bullshit he might as well get some good drinking out of it "Is not a double date man" Tommy insists as they make their way out and into his beat-up junker of a truck "Is just me and Maria having a good time with my big bro before I get shipped out to that godforsaken desert again"  the dark look that washes over his face makes Joel feel like shit for even trying to get out of this in the first place.

Still...

"You, Maria and Maria's friend", He says, rolling his eyes and shaking the feeling of guilt, some times he wonders if maybe he should have been there for his brother more, if he was what was missing in Tommy's life that made him make stupid decisions, like jumping off of a water tower when he was 15 and fracturing his skull, like... signing his life away to the government at 17.

He looks at him now, 21 years old and he looks nothing like the little kid Joel remembers and still yet too young to have to carry the weight of so much death and despair on his shoulders. Most of the time he just blames their parents, for having a baby when Joel was already a grown man who didn't have time to be a big brother.

Tommy laughs, and it's nothing like the laugh it used to be, and Joel knows it never will be again "Ok and Maria's friend, but is not like we're setting you up dude, she's just some chick Maria met in her Sad Wives Club" he turns the corner so carefully, his eyes never leaving the road, looking left and right and all over, staring at every little piece of trash a little too long, before speeding up, and he doesn't even know he's doing it, Joel could fucking cry.

"Does she know you call it that?" He asks, and just lets him be, the brother he never really knew is gone anyway, might as well get used to the version that's here now.

He knows about Maria's group, she had joined a year after she started seeing Tommy, even tried to convince Joel to go to a couple of meetings with her, but he just wasn't cut for that kind of thing, grief is never better when you share it, no matter what people say, he knows it would just make him sadder and more scared to hang around a bunch of people who had his same fears and his same worries, and the same lack of useful answers to it all.

Tommy snorts "She'd fuck my shit up if she found out" he's not kidding, Maria takes the whole thing very seriously "Anyway, Tess is cool" he continues "I've met her a couple times, her husband died like 6 months ago or something, and it wasn't even in combat dude, a goddamned training accident" and he says it so nonchalant, like it's an everyday situation and not a significant moment in a grieving woman's life, he actually fucking laughs "Fucking POGs playing at being real soldiers on base, got him and a couple of other guys all shot up, he's the only one who died tho... I think" he shrugs and just goes on driving and talking, and Joel's noticed that ever since he first came back he just rambles about anything and everything, on and on and on.

"Anyway, she's cool and she's hot" He glances at Joel then, over the side mirror, never actually turning his head away from his duty, never taking his eyes off of the road for longer than half a second "And she's a widow so at most you'll get to dick her down good like maybe once and you're golden, I don't think she's looking to date" They go over a pothole, that brief half second glace at him clearly not fast enough, and Tommy's hand slaps over Joel's chest so hard he's sure there's gonna be a mark there, the truck stops completely and he's sitting up straight, still and on high alert.

He takes a deep breath in and lets it go, once, twice, and then... it's like nothing happened, he starts the truck back up and keeps on going, he stops talking, and doesn't look at Joel again the whole way there, 21 years old. It's fucking terrifying.

In the end, it turns out Tommy was right, it is fun, Maria is gracious as always, and for once she serves him a proper drink "Go that just for you Miller" She says with a bright smile as she sets down a brand new bottle of  GlenDronach Allardice on the table in front of him, her long twisted tresses cascading over her shoulder, and he loves her, he really does, and he's happy his brother found himself such a good woman, really.

"Marry me", he says, cradling the deep navy blue cylinder in his hands like it's a delicate newborn baby, and looking up from the table to her face "Seriously, drop this jackass" he points his thumb at his baby brother who has a genuine smile on his face for once "... and marry me, you are perfect!" he smiles at her and she blushes all pretty, and Tommy slaps his shoulder a little harder than necessary, and tells him to stop trying to steal his girl just as a soft voice, slightly unsure, rings out from behind him.

"Maria?" Joel turns, smile still etched on his face, and he's stunned because Tommy wasn't lying, she is hot, tall, and petite, looking like she just got off of work in black slacks and a cute red see-through top, nothing scandalous tho, demure and cute, sweet even.

Her long strawberry-blonde hair loose, framing her pretty face and bringing out the bright green color in her eyes, Joel stumbles a little in his haste to get up from his stool and offer her a seat, she fucking giggles, all girlish and so goddamned pretty. He wants to drop to his knees.

Maria smirks "Tess this is Tommy's brother, Joel", She says, gesturing to him "Joel, this is Tess" She extends her hand and he takes it, and it's pretty much all a blur from there. They talk about light and superficial topics, she doesn't mention her husband, he doesn't mention his daughters, and they laugh about stupid things, like a story Tess tells him about some guy from her office that he won't remember, and then again when Joel burps out loud, and they drink... a lot.

He mentions he actually lives in San Antonio so they go back to her place instead, and as soon as the door is closed, gone is the sweet, demure woman, replaced by silk ropes around his wrists and a blindfold over his eyes. She sucks his brains out through his dick and leaves him tied up until he can go again. It's the best fuck he's had in a while. The next morning they say goodbye at the door, no phone numbers, no see you later, no promises made.

Once and he's golden, right?

Two weeks later she walks in through the door of his favorite bar, she looks surprised to see him, they laugh about the coincidence and share a couple of drinks, she tells him she's in town for work, he pulls her into a dimly lit bathroom stall, it's not as good as the first time, but it's good enough.

She gives him her number. He never calls.

"THREE FUCKING YEARS?!" He yells, and she cries, he gets out of bed and starts picking up his clothes to get dressed and she cries harder "What the fuck were you thinking?!" and he's not even looking at her, shoving and pulling and zipping up his clothes as fast as he can.

He needs to get out of here.

"Please, Joel!" And it's her turn to plead now, she's still sobbing, her voice torn between heaving and hiccups "I LOVE YOU!" she cries, and she's trying to stop him, a hand wrapped around his wrist pulling at him, and there's a flash of a memory in the back of his mind, of how that had felt the first time he was with her, exciting and new.

He grimaces at how it feels now "Don't!" He snarls, low in his throat, and he rips his arm out of her grasp.

"Please! Please Joel!" and it should break his heart, but if he felt nothing before, he feels even less now, he can't stand her, can't fucking look at her, he doesn't want to be in the same room "It's over, Tess", He says, and he's really trying hard now not to do something stupid, he turns to the door and...

Woosh!!

He feels it before he hears it, so fucking close to his head, cold and fast, followed by the sound of glass shattering against the wall right next to him, he's shocked, paralyzed almost, his hand suspended in the air stretched out towards the doorknob, and he can feel a little nick on his face, it burns, and then the warmth of blood running down his cheek.

"Oh god!" He does look at her now, her hands are shaking over her mouth where she's covering it, and she looks even more shocked than he feels "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry!" the sound of her voice muffled, her eyes are wide open and so green, she looks scared.

He just stares at her and licks his lips, they're dry and rough, he lifts his arm and uses the back of his hand to wipe at his cheek, wincing as it brushes over the wound... everything feels so surreal. She moves to take a step toward him and he raises that same hand in front of his body, there's a stain, bright red, still wet.

"Stop" and he's not really angry anymore, he's not really sad either.

He's just fucking done.

"Don't come near me, don't come near my family" He pushes his hand into the pocket of his jeans, smearing the blood against the denim, and he pulls out the crumpled-up picture he'd only just shoved in there, gesturing at her with it "And this?" he says, unfolding the paper as best as he can. "Here's how it's gonna go" His voice is steady "You don't call me unless it's an emergency, you're dying or the kid's dying. Got it?" she nods, and he can see her throat moving as she struggles to swallow.

"Good" He nods back at her "I'll pay the bills, doctor visits, ultrasounds, fucking diapers, all that shit".

"Joel..." She starts, but his hand is back up in front of him again and he shakes his head "I don't wanna hear it. You want my kid, you'll get my kid" and he will do his part, what's done is done, this part of his life is over, he doesn't want to be with her, he doesn't want to see her.

His kid is innocent.

"I'll be there when it's born, but you and I? That's done, we're done" There are stains on her face, dry tears and sweat, smeared makeup, and it's funny he thinks, the image of when he first met her is so clear right now, that lovely face, that pretty smile.

The list of things he should regret keeps growing.

"Goodbye, Tess"

February 2nd 2020

"Yo, bossman! There's someone for you at the gate"  Tommy laughs, shoving a cookie into his mouth and stumbling a little as he opens the door to Joel's office, and the sound is getting worse, darker, uglier. Joel hates it, he wishes he could take it all away, wishes he could stop his brother from drinking himself half to death too.

"Who is it?" He asks, frowning and taking a cookie out of the container Tommy offers him, biting into it, it's disgusting, he doesn't even chew before he spits it back out "Eeugh! The fuck is that?" he asks, smacking his lips and his tongue trying to get the bad taste out of his mouth. Tommy shrugs and swallows, taking another bite "Oatmeal raisin maybe?"

"Anyway..." He speaks through the mouthful of food, spilling crumbs down his shirt "Your girlfriend's outside" Joel frowns, taken aback, "What are you talking about?" as far as he knows, he's fucking single. "Maria's friend? Though you were seeing her, Maria says she told her you've hooked up a few times" and Joel is very confused, yeah he's fucked Tess once or twice, or... Five times, whenever she's down in San Antonio for work and pretending to run into him at his favorite bar, who's fucking counting anyway? They're not SEEING each other.

"She talks to Maria about me?"  Tommy shrugs again, still eating those rotten cookies, Joel gets up from behind his desk and looks through the window.

And there she is, tall and pale and pretty, and just...there. "What the fuck?"  He leaves his brother in the office, at least in there he can't hurt himself, he jogs a little to get to her, bright green eyes and a huge smile greeting him "Hey" She says, looking up at him like this is normal, just an everyday, run of the mill thing they do... It's not.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, and he doesn't want to be rude or anything, but... this is weird "Maria told me you were working in town, thought I'd stop by, bring some cookies for the guys" Oh!... so that's where those things came from. "Oh! Ok. Thank you, I guess" He says.

And he feels like a fish out of water, can't even think of anything else to say to her, so they just stand awkwardly, separated by a metal fence.

He lets his fingers curl over the wire, "Soooo, you gonna show me around?" she asks, the smile never leaving her face, and he still can't quite understand what's happening here, but hey, when life gives you lemons, and all that... "Uhm... Alright, sure" he opens the gate, if she wants to look at the dirt on this side of the fence, that's fine, he grabs a vest and a hard hat from where there's some hanging behind the security guard's booth.

"Gotta put this on, OSHA rules", he tells her, she wants to play this game? he knows how to play. People would be surprised by how well the whole 'hot construction worker' shit actually works with women, she's not the first pretty thing he's had at a job site, she's just the first one he didn't ask over. 

He gives her the full experience too, fucks her tucked in between the bucket and the front tire of the biggest loader they have on the site, "OSHA rules?" she jokes, smiling at him as he tears open a condom, he laughs and winks at her "Safety first"

She dusts off the dirt from her dress afterward and asks if he still has her number, he tells her he does. He still doesn't call.

Tommy gets deployed for the last time on March 7th, he comes back to Texas two months later with a handful of little war tokens, a broken back, a purple heart, a messed up brain, and an honorable discharge. He's a veteran at 22, barely functioning.

Joel needs help.

He moves to Austin in June, with his business, his kids, and his brother in tow. Closer to Maria, closer to Olivia, and he's not even thinking about Tess until she starts showing up at his place, to lend a hand, to do some chores, to help with Tom...

They fall into bed together more often than not, and while his life's not all roses and ponies, he still feels kind of bad for her, and he wants to be honest. "I'm not looking for anything here, you need to know that", they're lying together on top of a tarp on the floor of his half-renovated house where he's been working on adding an extension to the place so Tommy can live there once he gets out of rehab.

Tess frowns and turns her face to look at him "What do you mean? Don't you like me?" She asks, and he does, but he doesn't want her to think it's anything more than it is. "We have fun together right?" he sighs, and he really wishes they weren't naked right now. "I do, and we do, but..." He turns on his side, and it's fucking uncomfortable, he's 44, he really should stop sleeping around in stupid places like a goddamned unfinished floor, he looks at her, that pretty face and those bright green eyes.

"I don't want you getting hurt because you want something I can't give, this..." he gestures at them, and the space between them, and the dusty unfinished room "Is pretty much it", He tells her "I already did the husband bit, had a wife, had my kids... I'm not looking for a repeat performance" 

She's quiet for a moment, turns her face back to look up at the bare bones of what will become a ceiling and she sounds so sure when she speaks "I'm not looking for that either" She says.

He lays down his rules, no babies, no rings, no paperwork, no moving in together.

She tells him she's ok with all of it, but she wants it to be exclusive, Joel agrees, he'll stop fucking other people but he can't promise anything more than that, she gives up on waiting for him to call, and they see each other when they can, mostly whenever she just... shows up.

And it's good, it's fun even, she's sweet and smart.

The girls start at their new school in September, and Tommy moves into the house in the middle of October, wracked by night terrors and still weighted down by so much guilt, he sneaks into Joel's room and sleeps on his floor for a month before they figure out is better for him to be close by, so Ellie and Sarah get bunk beds at 15, and the extension becomes a ridiculously large laundry room.

Life goes on, and he has a good one. A happy home, a somewhat healthy brother, two beautiful daughters, and a girlfriend.

Tess tells him she loves him at the height of Summer on the 4th of July 2021, fireworks blasting over their heads in the middle of  Milburn Park, recently half deaf thanks to a badly timed detonation, Joel pretends he doesn't hear it and he gets away with it. He smiles and lets her kiss him, she doesn't make a fuss, never brings it up again at all actually, so when she asks if he wants to meet her parents he says yes, figures he owes her at least that.

He still has her on his phone as 'Maria's friend'.

And he still never calls first.

He's drunk.

Drunker than he's been in a long time anyway.

Drunk off of cheap shit that he bought at the local HEB on his way out of Travis Height's, because it was the only place still open after 9 pm in Tess's neighborhood and he left his good liquor back at your place, his place? That fucking apartment's proving to be the stupidest thing he's ever done, where's he gonna get the money to keep you and a fucking kid?

He doesn't want to think, so he's drinking instead, fucking fireball and Jager like he's back at college blacking out after a rager, and he's hoping that it still has that same effect, because he wants to fucking forget.

He hears the swish of the patio door sliding open, smooth and quiet, and even in his drunken state he still feels the tendrils of the little thrill it gives him every time he hears the sound, the same thought he's had before a thousand times running through his mind 'fuck I'm good!', because he fucking installed that piece of shit aluminum and glass double-wide fucking monstrosity himself, and it's never gotten stuck, not once. He's THAT good.

The night breeze in November is hanging on the wrong side of freezing, but he hardly feels it, and he doesn't have to look up from the couch to know it's Tommy who just walked in, he's the only person Joel knows that can walk as if on air at 200 pounds and change, not even a little tap against the linoleum, and he's grateful, so many years later, that the light feet are the worse thing Tommy's got left from his time overseas, he still gets drunk, and he still gets rowdy, but mainly because he's 25 and an idiot, and not because he's in pain.

The door slides shut just as smoothly as it had opened, and a few seconds later Joel can feel the weight and the heat of a body sitting down next to him on the sofa, the leather groaning and squeaking slightly as Tommy gets comfortable. And he hasn't said a word, but Joel knows why he's here, he was sure Tess would call Maria as soon as he fucking left, probably to tell her how he was a horrible, terrible man that had just left her for another woman, right after fucking her and finding out she was pregnant. 

"I don't know if I should be congratulating you or offering my condolences", Tommy speaks finally, and Joel snorts, taking a swing of cinnamon-spiced whiskey mixed with what is basically German cough syrup, straight from the bottle, it tastes like shit, but he feels the same so it kind of balances things out.

"What'd she say?" he asks, offering the half-empty bottle of murky dark liquid to Tommy and letting his head fall back against the back of the couch, closing his eyes "That shit tastes like ass" Tommy grumbles, pushing Joel's hand, and the bottle, away.

Joel chuckles "I like eating ass", he remarks and takes another swing, and he's not as drunk as he'd like to be, because now he's thinking about you, and your ass, and your tits, and your pretty face, and how you're probably gonna leave him as soon as you find out.

Well, Shiiit!

Tommy snorts "There's something I didn't need to know, thank you!" he chuckles "Come on" He tries to take the bottle from Joel's hand, making a face at the fact that his brother actually dared to pour jager into a bottle of disgustingly cheap whiskey "We still gotta work in the morning man, you can get blasted on the weekend" And Joel would laugh at how their roles have switched, he's been doing nothing for the past two hours but think about how his life was going 4 years ago, and it's wild to think Tommy's the voice of reason now, more and more often.

He relents though, letting go of the liquor, because Tommy's right they do have to work tomorrow, and now he has to start thinking about how he's gonna have to start over, two kids almost out of the house, one set to come into the world. He's fucked.

Tommy sets the bottle down on the table, just out of his reach.

"She said you got into a fight", he says, and Joel sighs, rubbing his eyes and throwing his head back, sinking into the cozy warmth of the leather, he's fucking tired "She threw a fucking vase at my head, we didn't get into a fight", he lets his arms drop to his sides, staring up at the ceiling and frowning at a little crack he can see in the corner, he's gonna have to fix that.

"That where the cut came from?" Tommy asks, nodding his head at Joel, and if he's honest he'd actually forgotten about it until just now, he brings a hand up to touch his cheek, and is not even scabbed over yet, still tacky "Yeah..." the dull throbbing ache is back, and he thinks it has probably been there the whole time, he was just too... preoccupied.

His entire body feels light and heavy at the same time, and the air around him is thick and warm like syrup, he didn't get drunk enough for the room to spin or his mind to go foggy, but he feels relaxed at least, feels like he can finally deal with how the day went, he's actually more clear-minded than he was back at Tess's place, and he knows he over reacted, is not like she did it on her own, he was a more than willing participant, and he could have worn a condom if he wanted to, it didn't have to be all on her... it doesn't have to be all on you.

"My girl's gonna dump me when I tell her I'm gonna have a kid" And maybe he is a little bit more drunk than he was just thinking, because that wasn't what he wanted to say at all, it just came out, he misses you, not seeing you for a day already had him all twisted up inside, and then after everything... he fucking loves you so much, he really does.

"Hey you wanna see something amazing?" he sits up then and grabs his phone, turning to look at Tommy, he feels giddy all of a sudden, warm and fuzzy, and Tommy's frowning a little, but he's leaning in to look as Joel types in his code into that little private folder he keeps and brings up the photo you'd only just sent him this morning. "Look at that, that's my baby" and he actually groans and brings a hand down to his crotch to adjust himself, the photo is tame compared to most of the stuff you share and record now, but it's so delicious, a selfie of your beautiful bare ass and freshly waxed pussy, and the message that you wrote along with it, so sweet and innocent.

💋SweetGirl: 'Hope you have a great day baby, I love you'.

"Jesus Christ!" Tom's actually a little stunned, and Joel laughs, setting the phone down on the table, using a finger to push it toward his brother. He has a dark thought then, sick and fucked up, and so twisted, as Tommy picks up his phone and swipes to see the next photo "Fuuuuck" and the next, and then one more after that... about how he wishes he would have fucked his baby into you instead, watch your sweet little belly ripen and pop, swollen with his seed, make you his completely.

He had a fucking plan, to keep you for as long as he could. He'll be lucky now if you even give him a pitty fuck goodbye.

He's gonna lose you.

He's gonna be a fucking dad.

October 6th 2023

Fuuuuuuck! He can't stop thinking about you and that tiny little bikini, your fuckin body when you finally took your clothes off and got into the pool, so tight and perky and sweet.

"Oh fuck!" he moans, his eyes closed and his head thrown back while Tess licks and sucks at the head of his cock, your shimmering tanned skin, your perfect tits, the way your ass bounced and jiggled with each step "Aaah.. fuck yes" The sound of gulping and slurping and Tess's hand stroking his shaft, it's so obscene, her fingers wrapping around him tighter.

Your soft little belly, and the sound of your laughter, and the way water dripped down your body "Aaaah... fuck, get on the bed... come on" he pulls her off of his dick, a hand tangled in her hair as she gets on top of his sheets, and they're the same ones he'd fuck you in, washed a few times over, your scent is gone now, but the image of you writhing and moaning, and begging him to take you "Mmm, spread your legs" he growls, bending over her back, talking against her ear as he rips down her panties. "Joooooeel... Mmm" She moans, and he wishes she'd just stayed fucking quiet. "Shhh... my kids are asleep" he whispers, but he couldn't care less, he just doesn't want her to drown out his memories.

The headboard slams against the wall with how hard he pushes into her, and it's warm and wet and tight, and it's your hips that his hands are gripping, your ass that's bouncing against his body, your back, arched so fucking pretty "Mmm fuck baby, feels so good" he moans, fucking into you, dark long curls sticking to your sweaty shoulders, and your soft little mewls and whines as you wiggle your body while you get used to his girth are like music playing in the back of his head, his favorite fucking song.

"Oh god Joooel!" she moans again, and he growls looking down at her, his hips faltering, his rhythm thrown "Shhh.. come on, be quiet" and it's pale skin and freckles and red hair, he closes his eyes again.

He comes to the image of your little pink pussy dribbling and drooling with his essence, your body spent, lying on your belly on the mattress next to him, your perfect, tender body used and well pleasured. He wishes he could have it again.

He wraps his arm around Tess's body as she drifts off, falling asleep curled over his chest, and not for the first time, he thinks, he has to end it with her, break up before anyone ends up hurt.

Before he does something stupid.

#mia's fic #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #bfd!joel #best friend's dad #not intended for minors #18+

[devnmon]

i just need a moment to appreciate tess servopolous.

she’s gorgeous and i love her. <3

#theresa tess servopolous #tess servopoulos #tess tlou hbo #tess tlou gif

[devnmon]

I wonder how Tess kisses. like does she just pull you in and go right for it or does she take her time feeling your lips against hers and slowly push yours against hers…

im just. so down bad and the need to kiss her lazily in bed rn is on my mind.

i mean. just look at her.

she’s so PRETTY. god i wish women were real

#this just in rye rewatches tlou hbo #tess my mother my love my life #tess brainrot is back #i will do anything she asks #tess servopolous #tess theresa servopolous