ive had to step away from all the analysis of the finale because thinking about it for too long it fills me with such a [rage? bitterness? frustration? all of the above?] the likes of which ive genuinely never felt for a show before
ive cared about media before. ive been disappointed by media before, but i think the difference is i haven't put my faith in media like i did ofmd- and the more time passes the more i feel fucking stupid for putting that faith in the show in the first place, when so many of the things coming to light now were already there
i cant think about it too long else it makes me so fucking sad, and im tired of analysing it to bits because its not going to change anything, theres no way to fix any of this, no way to find a spark of light in it, no way to come back, to resurrect the show i fucking loved.
im sure everything everyone is saying is well thought out and nuanced things but for the sake of my own enjoyment of this fucking show i have to just not engage with it anymore.
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Hey Baba, it seems like you've been seeing a lot of yucky stuff online right now. A lot of people who aren't remembering their manners and are forgetting that there's people behind a screen. I know you like your screen time but please remember that the world isn't all like that okay? Some people are different online and forget their values and let's remember that these days, algorithms perpously show you things that'll make you upset. Yes, yes it's not very fair, is it sweetheart. Please remember to take some breaks and that the world isn't really like that. It's so important to protect yourself. Yes, silly even if you think you don't deserve it; because you do.
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oh damn. situation has gone from “animator who made a series I used to watch when I was like 13 on YouTube allowed predators to groom kids in her server” to her being accused of actively participating in the grooming. fucking yuck. anyway pretty sure no one here watches camila cuevas or her series glitchtale but she’s vile and a sexual predator or at very least someone who allowed sexual predators to prey on children in front of her if the allegations are false and considering the horrific shit she did I doubt that.
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Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it
I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.
Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.
Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.
sorry im dumb haha
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hi doccy. hopefully your askbox is working. i would LOVE to read the edas but. what order do i tackle them in. i've been intimidated by them for over a year send help.
uh oh….. i am also intimidated by them 😭 and my reading strategy isn’t anything special, i am always struggling to find time or energy to read - BUT here’s my best advice:
go through the summaries of the first 10-15 books and sort them by the ones that sound interesting, and the ones you might get stuck on. for the interesting ones, try reading them in physical or digital form; for the ones you kinda wanna skip ……. well. i figured out that the internet archive has a built-in screenreader (with a very robotic voice), and that i could stomach the voice for long periods, so i just listened to them like audiobooks while at work or walking around.
not everyone will be able to tolerate the voice.
i must emphasize that. i can imagine it being very annoying to listen to an entire book that’s been fed through an electric box fan, especially if you have auditory processing delays, but that was my strategy for getting through some of the slowest and least crucial plot lines (imo: the eight doctors, war/legacy of the daleks, longest day, kursaal). to conserve your reading momentum, you can skip these books entirely, or come back to them later.
the ones you’re drawn to - try looking for copies online, either physical (abebooks, thriftbooks, and better world books are ones i check, but you may only find the rarer ones on abebooks, ebay, and mercari) or digital (there are pdfs on the internet archive, and i think i might have some books saved as google drive files? get back to me on that, they might be in the main dw file…. hmm.)
i’m a habitual collector so i’ve been amassing my doctor who bookshelf for a few years, but certain books are touch and go, you never know when another copy will show up. i have ebay alerts on for so vile a sin 🫣 i prefer physical books to keep my attention span and to keep notes - i fill them with color-coded sticky notes for future reference because i’m totally meshuga.
i hope that some of this is helpful, or leads to something helpful. enjoy the many tragedies!!!!
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I have seen. Several pple. Making fanart. Of Aaron Bushnells self immolation. And it feels so fucking gross. Guys this isnt a silly fanfom moment, this isn't a celebrity, this is a man who died for the cause. Share his message, not your stupid anime boy fannart of him on fire. All these stupid tags about it fucking separating it from the cause. We should be spreading the message he died for, not liking and reblogging fanart of his suicide. Before yall call me a zionist I'm fully anti isreal and fully pro palistine. The genocide happening is fucking horrible but your fanart of doesnt do anything. It's fucking gross. Can't put it into words right, and maybe I'm alone in this. Just doesn't sit right for me. Like yeah I'm sure it's comforting to all the people who are being slaughtered that you did a digital painting of one guy who did one thing that didn't even have that big of an impact on the us governments support of the genocide. How about yoy fucking put that srt to good use and fucking. Do coms and donate the money to help in palestine.
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