#this was also me trying to figure out a normal clown get up for tricky since I've been only drawing her in xeir project nexus scientist

[dissentersbedamned]

uuummm little limited color pallet thingy

art commissions

#🚬.dei.art #madness combat #madcom #tricky the clown #madcom tricky #art #fanart #i didnt mean to go with the pan colors but the colors i choosed at first were very similar lol #this was also me trying to figure out a normal clown get up for tricky since I've been only drawing her in xeir project nexus scientist #outfit < fuck you tumblr tag word limit #also I havent drawn tricky in awhile so this was nice

[huebris808]

Dr. Hofnarr’s Horrible, No-Good, Very Weird 15 Years Of Being Dead.

a tribute to fanon interpretations/character study(?) that was going to be a bonus chapter in a post-canon/au comedy fic im working on! might come back to expand on this when i do start posting it (or if mpn gives him more background story lore that i’ll have to work with aoAHGHOAUGH)

happy madness day! :o)

“Where should I begin… Perhaps at the very beginning? OH! Christoff and I first met years before our Nexus days! Back in our freshman years of college, to be precise! You know, I was actually a theater major before switching to- ... A-Aah, too far back. Much too far... Let’s start from the point where the notes I supplied to you ended then, shall we? After our dissension...”

.. “Good luck, old friend...” ..

The first years on the run from Nexus was stressful to say the least. Hofnarr and Christoff had split up to better their chances of survival. He knew the process would be grueling, having talked to Christoff almost every night about it to calm his nerves. While he played calm for the cameras, Hofnarr truly wished he could have held him close one last time. No communications. No physical contact. Day after day, month after month, nothing. He would be separated from his husband for a very long time…

It wasn’t all bad after a while. He had a comfortable new apartment, went under a new alias, and his questionable new job paid him enough to buy food. His apartment even had cable! He could watch marathons of Slaughter Time whenever he got home! In hindsight, he wondered if that had an effect on his mental state at the time...

Hofnarr had taken the last of his S3LF regulator with him, having shipped them out to an undisclosed location prior to dissension. Dissonance exposure did a number on him and his research team, leaving them to track their “normality” through daily blood tests and injections. While they met their fates early on, Hofnarr had gotten lucky. That is, until the doses began to run out.

Stressful as it was, he knew what he had to do. Hofnarr rushed back to what remained of the labs, knowing it had been abandoned by now. It was ironic, he and Christoff’s work, the work that was turned against them, was the one thing keeping him alive. For days, he worked to make more doses from the materials he brought with him. But there was only so much he could do with limited supplies… Hofnarr made many attempts to prolong the inevitable, lowering his dosage amount, injecting it weekly rather than daily, but he eventually ran dry. 

Refusing to turn to darker alternatives, he felt the only thing he could do at this point is record his final findings through video logs.

“It was… interesting revisiting the footage, to put it nicely. Christoff had actually kept the video files on a drive after he originally found all my things in the lab! I barely remembered what happened back then, so I rewatched them out of curiosity.”

On the first night, Hofnarr recorded a message for Christoff. One filled with sorrow, but also with gratitude. For the time that they spent together. How special he made him feel. All the memories they made together...

On the next, he recorded a log detailing his findings during Project Nexus. The effects of dissonance, the Other Place, what it did to him and his colleagues, everything and anything he could.

The next, he reported on the progression of his symptoms. Fever, brain fog, insomnia, joint pain. He felt like his organs were melting, his skin bursting at the seams.

The next night he saw something and remembered. Scars. The scars on his head. That week he was in the staff hospital. He thought it was a dream but the scars were there. Phobos. Director Phobos brought him somewhere that week. He knew he felt off when he woke up in the office that night. He knew something was off when Christoff asked him where he was. He thought he passed out from over-working. That bastard Phobos. Nausea was replaced with rage as he began to scream, his throat becoming raw. What did he put in him? What the hell did he put inside him!?

On the last recorded log, he was face-down on the ground. Groaning as his body occasionally convulsed. Until the video feed eventually cut off.

His body would lay there dormant, dead, for fifteen years. 

But to Hofnarr, he felt like he was dreaming.

.. “LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR OUR NEXT CONTESTANT!” ..

“Huh?” The doctor sat up and looked around, the area around him pitch black. Wasn’t he sleeping just a moment ago? He got up and took a step forward in the seemingly endless void. “H-Hello? Who’s out there?”

“AWW, DON’T BE SHY NOW! ESTEEMED AUDIENCE, A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR GUEST; THE UNFORTUNATE DOCTOR HOFNARR!”

A light shined down on him from above. A crowd seemingly began to cheer all around him. He was in the center of what looked like a talk show set. Hofnarr awkwardly scratched the corner of his face. “‘Unfortunate’? W-What do you mean? W-Who are you?”

“FIGHT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER!” The voice above him called out again. “AFTER ALL, IT’S…!” Hofnarr drowned out the noise while trying to think. It sounded familiar. Like it came from…

Hofnarr’s thoughts were cut short. He looked down at his torso. Terror set in as he recognized an entire stop sign had been lodged through his chest.

“DON’T GET COLD FEET NOW! THE SHOW’S ONLY JUST BEGUN!” 

The words echoed in Hofnarr’s mind as he frantically tried to pull it out, his vision growing muddled, his hands slipping with blood until…

He blinked.

No stage. No sound. No pain.

Nothing around except for a single white door in front of him.

He stood up again, cautiously reaching for the doorknob.

When he entered he seemed to be in a vintage styled home. It was a kitchen with checkerboard flooring, a table with two chairs, and cheerful music playing through a small radio. It smelled of pastry and medical equipment. Suddenly, there was a knock coming from the door. A familiar voice called from behind it.

“I’m home, dear.” “J-Jeb?!”

Hofnarr rushed towards the front door. Christoff wasn’t trapped here too, was he? “Jeb! W-where are we!? What is this place? What happened to-”

As he opened the door, the clapping returned.

His husband was there, briefcase in hand, his face replaced with a black hole dripping with an unknown inky substance.

He slowly began to back away as “Jeb” moved closer.

The applause, the laughter, was deafening.

Before he could question or run away, Hofnarr was hit by something. His vision blurred, but refocused to be face-to-face with something. It seemed to be a shadow of himself. He tried to run again, but was pinned down by his doppelganger. The clone raised a clawed hand above him and then...

Like waking from a nightmare, Hofnarr quickly sat up once again. He gasped for air, dripping with cold sweat.

Was this really happening? Was it finally over? Was he free?

And then the spotlight focused on him again.

“It… got very surreal. Despite fight after fight, death after painful death... I would suddenly be somewhere else! There was a gameshow, our old apartment, a cat cafe, a... strip club of sorts, a tea room filled with these small armless doodles I used to draw on my research notes trying to offer me snacks… One time there was a sort of singing contest, but I won’t bore you with the details of that one. But when I wasn’t in those places, I felt like I was fighting for my life. It felt like an eternity! And the strangest part of it all? It… it became addicting.”

At first, he felt as if Hofnarr used all of his energy, physical and emotional, to fight back. It reminded him too much of his escape from Nexus. But as time went on, he focused less on escaping and more on surviving. The more he fought, the more he began to lose himself. He was anticipating what sudden whiplash of combat would be thrown at him next. He chuckled at the thought of what excitement would be heading his way. He wanted more. The fights became too slow. Too predictable. Too boring. He began toying with whatever was thrown at him. Turning his shadowy hunters into the hunted. Why let his audience watch the same old fights all the time?

Suddenly, the fighting stopped.

Why? 

He was having fun, wasn’t he? He grew impatient.

“WHAT’S THE HOLD UP!” He yelled into the void, seething with anger. “AREN’T WE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING? ISN’T THAT WHAT I’M HERE FOR?!”

He stomped his foot down, lodging something out of the ground.

The stop sign.

He looked over it curiously. How familiar…

Grabbing hold of it, quick flashes of memories appeared to him.

Nexus, the Science Tower, Phobos, the Other Place… 

A man with long hair standing next to...

Hofnarr… 

Who was that? Was that him?

No…

Only Tricky remained.

Footsteps echoed throughout the halls of the abandoned lab. Heels quickly clicking, cautiously stopping every so often. A lone Nexus Core agent entered through one of the doors.

Perfect timing.

“HAY! YOU THERE!!” A voice stuttered and glitched out, reverberating through the emptiness of the lab. The quickly soldier whipped their head around. “YEAH! YOU, STUPID. PLAY WITH ME!!”

“Who’s there?” The agent pointed their magnum towards the noise. “Show yourself!”

Gladly. The cackling figure emerged from the shadows, posing with a peace-sign, causing the agent to recoil. He grinned, slowly moving towards the cowering goon on the ground. They wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Who are you!?”

They couldn’t kill him.

“FIGHT FIRST. ASK QUESTIONS LATER! AFTER ALL…” 

CAN’T KILL CLOWN.

“IT’S MURDER TIME!”

..

“My body had been there, regenerating and repeating the enmeshment process for years. And by the time I woke up, I was a completely different person. I became a creature of unfiltered impulse… A personification of chaos itself.”

The room grew silent before Hofnarr spoke up again.

“I-Is it horrible to say it was… kind of cool?” He said with a nervous chuckle, twiddling his fingers.

2BDamned was quiet for a moment. They recalled the many times they had to stitch their comrades back together due to Clown Moments. They placed their head in their palms and let out a sigh.

“... You have the right to your own opinion.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BONUS: songs i was listening to on loop while working on this instead of doing my damned writing assignment. Enjoy

lady gaga ft. dorian electra - replay

vestik - tricky's vengeance ft. monocronic

#madness combat #Madness Project Nexus #Dr. Hofnarr #Tricky the Clown #MY WORKS #MY FIC #happy madness day these old dudes are gay. [Vine Boom] gay as hell. [Vine B

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Married at first sight part three

summary: Eddie and Richie’s first dinnerparty, meeting the other couples

A/N:  this is a part three, I hope you enjoy it. Again this was based on mafs Australia, so I don’t know if this is how it goes in all the variants of the show. Please let me know what you think!

@impalagurl67​

The night of the first dinner party , it’s surprisingly Richie that’s more stressed. Eddie had expected him to be the voice of reasons, as he usually was, but no, It’s Eddie’s turn to keep his head cool. 

This time though, Richie was working himself up badly, even having resorted to asking Eddie more than a few times if his outfits were alright.

Eddie was nervous too, but he was trying to hide it, so it wouldn’t become a cycle and cause Richie to obsess even more.

when he reentered the living room for a fifth time, wearing yet again something else then before, Eddie rolled his eyes in annoyance. ‘You look great Richie, don’t fret so much.’

Richie looked up at Eddie in surprise, as if he was expecting Eddie to lie and say that he looked hideous. Eddie knew that Richie wasn’t too comfortable with the way he looked, even though he had no idea how he was unable to see himself the way Eddie saw him.

Still, little things like this reminded Eddie that no matter how irrational, Richie felt that way, and Eddie would spend every day he could to help change his mind.

‘I don’t lie to you now do I? You told me yourself. I’m like a prissy old woman who will complain to your manager regardless of any excuses, I will not hold back’, Eddie tries his best to imitate Richie’s voice, but he fails flat. Impressions are mostly Richie’s thing, not his.

After a few weeks of living together however, they started to rub off on each other. Eddie was less aware of the camera pointed at his face at all times and was more prone to step out of his comfort zone. Excpet the parts where he had to look straight into the camera and give his commentary about an event that happened, that was not his thing at all. While Richie in turn had developed a habit of cleaning up after himself, purely because he knew it annoyed Eddie.

Sometimes it felt like Eddie’s heart would burst out of his chest with emotion. The, dare he use the word, love that consumed him from top to bottom when he thought of  his husband, was something he had never felt before. He hadn’t even been aware that such a feeling could exist.

If you had asked Eddie a year before the whole experiment and meeting Richie how he would respond to such an intents emotion, he would have responded with panic.

Something changed though, and the fact that he was in love with a man didn’t make him feel like he would throw up anymore. and it was not just any man, it was Richie, and Eddie was starting to get the idea that by only hearing his name, whatever negative emotion still lingered, ebbed away like the sea did at night.

His only request was that he find a way to explain that all to Richie himself. Eddie is not good with words, he knows that and thanks to his friends and Richie it’s something he’s working on, yet it’s still so difficult to open his mount and vocalize the feelings their close proximity was providing, even after having spend a long time period cooped up in a small hotel room.

That and the fact that Eddie was still unsure about their relationship. He was desperate not to get his heart broken, even with the brave face he was putting on, and the endless stream of insults Richie laughed away every single time, he was a sensitive man by heart.

They had a lot of things in common, that was for sure, from the way the both of them were stubborn as hell, to the place they grew up, but there were also a lot of differences, Eddie couldn’t help but take notice off. Richie was loud and unbothered by the amount of space he took up. In fact, he seemed to thrive under the attention from others, whilst Eddie tended to shy away from the focus of others. It made sense that Richie liked that sort of thing, seeing as he was famous for capturing people’s attention during shows, but Eddie didn’t think it would be that present in their everyday lives.

Eddie wasn’t stupid, he understands Richie more than Richie himself might peg him for, and he remembers what he said on their first night together, about how he was scared that people would forget about him. And Eddie understands that, a little, for he was also really scared that he would be left with nobody if he didn’t stick around by his mother, they just handle their fears differently.

The outgoing personality of Richie, versus the wanting-to-be-invisible in public personality from Eddie caused enough reasonable doubt in Eddie that they might not match with one another.

Eddie wondered if any of the other couples had the same problems. Although it was mostly Richie who was fearing the dinner party, Eddie wasn’t completely reassured either. He knew that he would compare himself to the others, as soon as he laid eyes on them. It had always been that way for him, even since he was a child. His diseases his mother claimed he had, already resulted in him being different from everyone else, and so he did whatever he could to make sure he mirrored his peers for everything else.

But This was a different situation, one where there were no standard responses, no right way of doing things, no guides to gently angle them in the right direction. So far, Eddie and Richie had been in their own bubble, in which they did everything in their own pace, but Eddie was certain that as soon as he saw the others, he would try to mold his relationship to appear like theirs.

At least, that was how he would normally act. The determination clogging every vein is his body was trying very hard to keep stealthy, to not follow his mother for the so manieth time.

He didn’t tell Richie any of his worries, as he was always venting about how hard it was for him to be on the show, and he refused to give Richie any doubts about them. Even when Richie had never been anything but kind and patient with him.

‘Yeah yeah you’re right Spaghetti. If you think I’m hot, then I’m sure your mom will feel the same, and if she feels the same, then I feel the same too.’

The glare Eddie shot Richie did nothing to stop the thunderous laugh that Richie let free, but Eddie cared less about that than he would ever admit. When Richie laughed, the dark clouds that clouded Eddie’s vision would evaporate for a few moments, making it the highlights of his day.

Not that there were many downs in the first place.

‘Come om Rich, if we don’t leave now, we might be late. I cannot, I repeat cannot be late on the first day of meeting these people. If we were to leave now, we would definitely not be the first, which is great because I am not prepared to having to sit there and wait and pretend to be comfortable and like the both of us haven’t been worrying about this for days, even though this fucking dress shirt is cutting of my air supply and that’s going to be really tricky.’ Eddie sucked in a huge breath of air, another Kaspbrak rant coming to end.

‘But if we’re the last, then everyone will already have met each other and stare at us like we’re fucking clowns in a circus when we go in.’ After a pause where there is no response, Eddie hastily adds, ‘so I’d like to leave now please.’

Okay so maybe it’s not just Richie that’s a little bit stressed.

His eyes flung up to meet Richie’s, the position making Richie appear bigger and larger than he already was compared to him when standing up. Richie was sporting a smile on his face, a real one, not the fake obnoxiously large one he used when a fan came up to him to try out a joke and it fell flat, and he wasn’t heartless enough to not laugh. The real smiles caused Eddie’s heart to stop for a moment, a beat where every atom in his body was purely focused on Richie, before realizing, oh hey we can look at this gorgeous man whenever we want, let’s get back keeping Eddie alive so he can.

‘I’m so glad they matched me with you’, is what Richie said after a few moments. Eddie can’t help but throwing a smile shyly his way, accepting the hand extended to him to slot their hand together.

‘Sap’ Eddie murmured under his breath, but inconspicuously inching closer to Richie’s side as they left their apartment, and entered the car.

As always, Richie opened the car door, letting Eddie slide in first. When he walked across the car, getting in on the other side, Eddie allowed himself a moment to check Richie out. He ended up wearing a yellow Hawaiian shirt with jeans, which wasn’t anything fancy but it was Richie, and that was more than enough.

Looking down the inspect his own clothing, Eddie figured he was a bit overdressed. He had decided on wearing a cardigan that was just on the side of too tight, with cufflinks, he also wore a dress pants, in a warm beige.

Now he was starting to feel self-conscious. However, Richie told him that he looked good, and Eddie convinced himself that that was all that mattered.

The car ride itself didn’t last very long, which Eddie lucked out in, for car rides seamed to increase his anxiety levels. Luckily Richie held his hand the entire way there, not even thinking of letting go. No words were able to describe how much Eddie loved him for it.

‘Do you think there will be other gay couples?’ Eddie asks after he sees Richie squirm in his seat for the third time in ten minutes. It’s not a thought he had spend much time thinking about, but it was an important one. He did not want to deal with a homophobe at all.

Patients wasn’t something Eddie accumulated with Richie at first, everything about Richie screamed inpatient, but when it came to dealing with Eddie, Richie never pressured him into anything. Which meant that they had only started holding hands only a two days prior, and the both of them were still searching how and when hand holding was appreciated and when not.

Richie shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but if there aren’t, I’ll turn all those hetero’s gay when they look at me.’

Eddie laughed, despite his best efforts not too. ‘Besides, even if they suck, they can’t be worse than the bullies from my hometown.’

A scowl formed on Eddie’s forehead, thinking back to the story’s Richie had trusted upon him about his childhood. Part of him hoped that those assholes were dead in a ditch somewhere.

‘I wouldn’t let them do anything to you Rich.’ Eddie promised with his whole heart, however wanted to hurt Richie now, was going to have to go through him.

He completely missed the look of pure adoration Richie shot him, too busy thinking of ways to respond should anyone feel the need to comment on the fact that they were gay.  

Eddie, as usual, was right. They were not the first, but thankfully, they were not the last either. Two couples were seated side by side and a large sofa in the middle of the room, all of them sporting a drink in their hands.

The table were the drinks were presented on, was placed in the right corner behind the couch, and Richie had already decided what drink he would be ingesting later, before he even took a good look at the contestants.

Eddie shouldn’t have worried, since there were three men, and only one woman, meaning that there were at least two other gay lovers. He walked towards the woman first, as she had already stood up, her arms opened in a loving gesture, and enveloped him as soon as he was within reach. It was then that Eddie noticed that he still had Richie’s hand clasped in his, and disappointment made it’s presence when Eddie was forced to let go in order to hug her.

‘I’m Beverly, but you can me Bev.’

Her voice sounded like honey felt; warm and mushy, and Eddie liked her before he even got a change to truly get to know her. A flash of excitement washed over him. He had been so worried, but he hadn’t considered the possibility that it could be fun to meet people who maybe had the same problems as him.

He moved over to what he assumed was her husband, a strong ridiculously good looking man, wo also gave him a hug, and told him his name was Ben. If Richie didn’t have the entirety of Eddie’s heart, and Ben would be gay, damn straight Eddie would go for him.

When Eddie turned to greet the other two man, he overheard the conversation between Richie and Beverly.

‘Aren’t you that famous comedian, Trasmount Tozier?’

‘Why yes I am my fair lady, hey Eds you hear that, somebody recognizes me.’

Eddie ignored him, though the urge to roll his eyes was very persistent. The other man gniffled, introducing himself as William, Bill Denbrough. Then the man lovingly gestured at his partner while stepping back into his side as soon as he could, letting the other man introduce himself as Mike Hanlon.

They seemed right for each other, their general aura and vibe shining through in just the way they wordlessly followed the others lead. When they glanced at one another, they both inconspicuously tried to pretend that they were not looking, and it was awful for Eddie to feel relieved by that, but he did. It showed that it wasn’t just him and Richie that were a bit timid.

Ben and Beverly seemed like the sweetest pair of people anyone could ever meet. Especially Ben. He was good looking sure, but his biggest attribute was the kindness he showed, to Beverly but also to everyone else. He seemed like the type of person who could never hate anyone, despite what they may have done to him. Bev appeared to be sweet as well, but Eddie could tell that she was also fiery, and that you shouldn’t try to double cross her, or you might end up in trouble. He suspected that he would get along with her great.

They offered them a drink, a glass of champagne which they insisted that they drank, and because Eddie didn’t want to seem stuck up, he took it and sipped little bits of it. Richie and him sat together on a different sofa, as close as humanly possible. They had just plopped down when the door opened again, and another man and woman made an appearance.

They both looked as cool and collected as any person could be, in particular the man, but they seemed kindhearted too.

They came up to Richie first, Eddie cringed when Richie pulled the man close into an embrace, he was however pleasantly surprised when man caustically returned the hug. ‘My name is Stanley’, he said while moving over to Eddie.

A chorus of ‘hey Stanley’ was heard throughout the room, followed by a ‘hi Patty’, when the woman introduced herself. They too were given a glass of champagne, right after they chose the seat next to Eddie and Richie.

To everyone’s surprise, Richie and Stan hit it off straight away. Richie would do whatever he could to provoke Stan, as he always did with Eddie, and Stan would give deadpan answers, causing the whole group to burst out in laughter.

The jealousy Eddie figured he would experience never made an appearance, for Richie kept his hand on Eddie’s thigh the entirety of the evening, and all it made Eddie feel was supported.

They discovered they all grew up in Derry Maine, which was odd, since they were all around the same age yet they had never seen each other around at school. They wrote it off as a weird coincidence, and Eddie tried to occupy his mind from overthinking it. A nagging feeling in the back of his head seemed to tauntingly tell him something. Yet he couldn’t figure it out.

Al in all the night went amazing. By the end of the event, Eddie was sure he had 7 new friends, and that no matter what happened, they would remain that way after the experience.

With these people, he was not the odd one out, everyone of them was different, but everyone also fit in. They all had experiences that differed from the other, but they also all fit in perfectly.

Each one of them had their own crosses to bare, in their relationship but also in their personal life. Eddie trusted them enough to tell them about his mom, or he would have if the camera’s weren’t there.

Ben was insecure because he had been a bit chubbier as a kid, and he constantly felt like his partners deserved better than him.

Beverly had a horrifying experience with her dad, even though she was hesitant and didn’t say what, only revealing that she had trust issues.

Stanley dealt with some mental health issues, that were still lingering through in his every day life.

Patty had family members who were going through the same things as Stan, so she was very protective.

The death of his little brother had been a traumatic event that defined most of Bill’s young and adult life, but he was trying hard to move past it.

Mike’s parents were killed during a fire, and loneliness was his best friend because of it for years.

Eddie’s breathing got a bit easier with the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one who was a little out of the ordinary.

When Richie and Eddie made their way back home, holding hands like they had been doing throughout the event, Eddie’s view on their future, got a little lighter. The conversation he had helped him put things into perspective, and with newfound courage, Eddie couldn’t wait to continue their journey.

#reddie #reddie fluff #married at first sight #adult reddie #reddie imagine #it chapter two imagine #it chapter 2 #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack

[fapangel]

>>trump is inciting hatred against CNN / trump is seeking to shut CNN down by any means necessary || Are these fuckleheaded libs fucking serious?

Not only that - CNN has doxxed the reddit user who made the dank meme mocking them, and have openly threatened to reveal his identity if he fails to keep groveling and begging for apologies: 

CNN is not publishing "HanA**holeSolo's" name because he is a private citizen who has issued an extensive statement of apology, showed his remorse by saying he has taken down all his offending posts, and because he said he is not going to repeat this ugly behavior on social media again. In addition, he said his statement could serve as an example to others not to do the same. CNN reserves the right to publish his identity should any of that change.

Naturally, this has blown up in CNN’s face, with CNN attempting damage control on Twitter, which is failing miserably because there’s no fucking way to talk around the paragraph above. That’s as blatant, direct and open a threat as you ever see. 

But this isn’t the real gem. Oh no. As usual, that dubious distinction goes to the class act, the Crown Prince of Clowns, the fucking Washington Post’s screed defending this shit, and doubling down. It’s a hilarious read, but it’s also very revealing of the mindset behind the media fucks (like the ones at CNN) that is making them think doxxing random memelourdes on the internet is an ethical use of their power and platform:

The ethical question of whether a news outlet should withhold the identity of a private citizen who posted extremely offensive things online on the apparent condition that they behave better in the future is one that resonated well beyond the bubble of the Trump Internet. 

An aside - there is no “ethical question” here. This is Journalism Ethics 101 - literally, I learned this in my senior Newspaper class before getting it again in a Journalism 100-level class at Eastern Michigan - a random internet user who made a 30 second meme clip is not a “public figure”. This is why so many news stories, i.e. on someone arrested for misdemeanors, decline to name the subject - to protect their privacy. This is run-of-the-mill journalism ethics. The President endorsing it via retweet effectively makes it “his” speech; you can gun for him all you want, but it is not ethical to actively hunt down the name of the random private citizen who made said clip, and then threaten to reveal them. You report on the stories, you do not make the fucking stories. 

But the meme that Trump supporters have picked up and spread is a mix of fact and fiction, of genuinely outraged conservatives and the gleeful meme-literate arsonists who just like to see the Internet burn with fury.

Oh, right, those fucking alt-right trolls are in the wrong here because their narrative is filled with filthy liiiieessssssss

The media has often struggled to cover Trump’s online supporters, whose skepticism of mainstream publications has evolved into a total rejection of the idea that places like CNN are even trying to report the truth. At the head of that rejection is the president himself, who regularly tweets that news outlets he doesn’t like are “fake news.” Media ethics experts who look at CNN’s article on all this might discuss it in the context of a long and tricky media discussion about outing anonymous, racist Internet trolls. On the Trump Internet, however, the subtext of the meme is that “blackmailing” sources is a normal part of mainstream journalistic practice. The difference is, they believe, that someone finally got caught.

(Emphasis added.) Again, there is no fucking “long and tricky media discussion” about this - anonymous people on the internet are by definition not public figures, and there is no news value in doxxing this person. In fact, this is outright suppression of free speech via the chilling effect. Their “racist trolling” doesn’t change this one bit. It is not CNNs, nor any other media outlets right to decide who’s speech is legitimate, nor to police it. 

Overnight, the r/The_Donald board that once hosted HanA‑‑‑‑‑‑Solo’s apology and plea for peace was filled up with even more anti-CNN memes, and posts calling for a full-on war against the network. The Trump-supporting Redditors picked up an idea from 4chan’s /pol/ board, organizing mass calls and tweet-storms to a long list of companies, demanding they stop advertising on CNN. The story soon spread to Trump-friendly publications like Gateway Pundit and Infowars. It was the front page of Drudge:

Awww, poor CNN, being bullied by all those fucking alt-right trolls, amirite? Of course, the many, many times this kind of public shaming and defaming campaign has been run against conservatives, we’re snottily told that “Freedom of Speech” just means freedom from government censorship, and that private citizens are free to tell them to fuck off, an argument neatly summarized by XKCD. 

Meanwhile, a tantalizing but extremely unconfirmed detail began to attach itself to the meme. Was HanA‑‑‑‑‑‑Solo a 15-year-old kid, as many posts on the #CNNBlackmail hashtag repeat as fact? Even though CNN, and screenshots of HanA‑‑‑‑‑‑Solo’s own Reddit history seem to contradict this, indicating that the user is significantly older, the notion that CNN had just threatened to dox a minor was extremely shareable among Trump supporters, including one of the president’s own sons:

Witness the wicked falsehoods that poison the alt-right racist’s tweetstorm narrative - they’re saying a redditor is 15 years old, but he’s actually older! This is entirely fucking immaterial to the discussion, of course, but fuck that. This justifies calling the natural and expected backlash a “mix of truth and fiction.” 

Others called for a very personal form of revenge against CNN, and Kaczynski specifically. A link to a pastebin page that appeared to contain the personal identifying information of Kaczynski, some of his family members and his colleagues circulated on 4chan Wednesday morning.

Reporters are public figures by definition - at the very least, the place where the reporters work is public information by dint of reporters putting their names on their fucking articles. It’s called a by-line. 

And the neo-Nazi Daily Stormer website called for even more. A popular post called for CNN employees to quit their jobs and denounce the network, or face consequences if they didn’t:

In one breath, the twitter backlash is directly associated with a fucking neo-Nazi website. No justification, no elaboration, just straight-up, straight-faced smear-job. The Dire Threat voiced by these neo-Nazis? Threatening to "track down” reporters families. Which is all publicly available information to begin with, mind you - “doxxing” is explicitly the de-anonymization of internet speech by linking an internet username/handle with a real-life identity. So even the scary Neo-Nazis are threatening to do fucking nothing past copy-pasting the reporter’s name off his CNN article’s byline into Facebook search. Oooh scaaary 

It’s a particularly threatening version of an inversion that is common on the Internet today: keep reporting on the Trump Internet, and the Trump Internet will decide it’s “reporting” on you. And many mainstream outlets are still struggling to contend with it.

This, the last paragraph, is the crown jewel of the article. Yes, the media is the real victim! 

When I was earning my Journalism degree, discussion of the media’s failure to adapt to the new paradigm of Twitter et al was a major and ongoing discussion, as journalists scrambled to understand where their niche was in the digital age. Instead of recognizing that they had what every asshole on the streetcorner with a smartphone and a Twitter app did not - professional training, a list of Important People who’d answer the phone when they called, and credibility - they tried to compete with every asshole on Twitter vis a vis getting the “scoop” or being “timely,” and naturally, they’re failing miserably, which is why the New York Times is laying off a bunch of their employees. That they’re financially threatened by “alternative media” is so well known that Washington Post reporters are openly joking about it in interviews: 

What advice do you have for a 32-year-old stuck in a dying medium who is sent to interview 9-year-olds?

Thus nobody’s blinked in the past when the traditional media attacks alternative media - it was seen as a natural reaction to the looming threat to their very livelihoods. It’s hard to give equitable treatment to people taking food out of your kids mouths. But this is something else - this is media privilege on full display. 

The media having an arrogance problem is nothing new - former CBS News Emmy Award-winning journalist Bernard Goldberg wrote a book literally titled Arrogance about the problem back in 2004, and I myself blogged about the astounding gall the media had to think they could demonize Trump and literally call him Hitler for eight months, then waltz into his office to discuss “access” with his administration. Or CNN telling people on-air that it’s illegal for anyone but the media to see Hillary’s wiki-leaked e-mails, a claim so asinine that even the Washington Post couldn’t swallow it. 

But despite that - despite all of that - this latest debacle still shocked me. The depths of their arrogant belief in their own sacrosanct status as harbingers of truth is so deep, so pure, that they’re willing to make fools of themselves to punish some random chucklefuck on Reddit becuase he made le dank meme video. And punishment is exactly what they’re handing out, here. There’s already a term to describe this kind of mindset, when it’s so pervasive and complete that any challenge to it is met with force and fury. “Privilege.” 

It’s truly fucking incredible. Even more incredible is the WaPo’s complaining like they, the media giants with control of a massive megaphone and the worship of the far left, are the victims here, because people on Twitter disagree with the media’s blatant thuggery. I’ve covered before how deep they’ve retreated into their own fantasy worlds, their own hallucinatory version of reality, but once again, they exceeded even my expectations. A boundless confidence in their own righteousness is one thing, but they truly think they are untouchable. They didn’t judge the predicted backlash to be inconsequential, or contemptible because it’d come from the filthy conservatives - because if they had, they wouldn’t be scrambling to do damage control against fucking Twitter.  

Anyway, while we’re at it, there’s some less significant things I wanted to have a giggle at - Sargon of Akkad (who’s videos I’ve been listening to now, at long last,) does a weekly “This Week In Stupid” segment, and now I can see why - so much piles up, so fast, and all of it’s worth mocking. Again, the WaPo is our go-to source of giggles.

Trump’s Voter Fraud commission recently asked all 50 states for as much info on voter information as they could provide, including the last four digits of their Social Security number. The great majority of states replied with a simple shrug and nod - as this state-by-state breakdown details, many states already provide voter roll data publicly, and others release it for a processing/handling charge to anyone who requests it (often political campaigns looking to get demographic data.) Every state demurred on the “last-four digits of the SSN”, simply because their state laws forbid such information disclosure due to privacy concerns - but aside from that considered the request mundane as hell. 

Of course, the dissenters were most amusing, and - before you read this - I wish to stress that, as stated by other states SecStates in this very article, many states publicly post this information online for free download: 

California: "California's participation would only serve to legitimize the false and already debunked claims of massive voter fraud," Secretary of State Alex Padilla, a Democrat, said in a statement.

Kentucky: “As the commonwealth's secretary of state and chief election official, I do not intend to release Kentuckians' sensitive personal data to the federal government," Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes said in a statement. "The president created his election commission based on the false notion that 'voter fraud' is a widespread issue. It is not."

New York: Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced Friday his decision not to comply with the commission's request for information. He said state laws include safeguards to protect sensitive voting information and that the state "refuses to perpetuate the myth voter fraud played a role in our election."

“WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!” scream people hiding information most states publish publicly. 

New Mexico:  Democratic Secretary of State Maggie Toulouse-Oliver says she will never release personally identifiable information for New Mexico voters that is protected by law, including Social Security numbers and dates of birth. She also declined to provide information such as names and voting histories unless she is convinced the information is secured and will not be used for "nefarious or unlawful purposes."

Yes, the information most states literally give away free might be used for ~nefarious purposes.~ But it gets better. It gets so much fucking better: 

Mississippi:  Mississippi Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann, a Republican, said in a statement Friday that he had not received the request for information from the Trump commission, but another secretary of state had forwarded the correspondence to him. In a federal court case after a contentious U.S. Senate primary in Mississippi in 2014, a group called True the Vote sued Mississippi seeking similar information about voters, and Hosemann fought that request and won. Hosemann said if he receives a request from the Trump commission, "My reply would be: They can go jump in the Gulf of Mexico, and Mississippi is a great state to launch from." Hosemann also said: "Mississippi residents should celebrate Independence Day and our state's right to protect the privacy of our citizens by conducting our own electoral processes."

“DROWN YOURSELF.” How rational and polite. 

Vermont: Vermont's top election official, Democrat Jim Condos, said Friday he is bound by law to provide the publicly available voter file, but that does not include Social Security numbers or birth dates. Condos said he must first receive an affidavit signed by the commission chairman, as required by Vermont law. He said there is no evidence of the kind of fraud alleged by Trump. "I believe these unproven claims are an effort to set the stage to weaken our democratic process through a systematic national effort of voter suppression and intimidation," he said.

Virginia: "At best this commission was set up as a pretext to validate Donald Trump's alternative election facts, and at worst is a tool to commit large-scale voter suppression," said Gov. Terry McAuliffe, a Democrat.

Ah, yes. Asking for this data most sates make available publicly is really part of a vast-right wing conspiracy to bully voters! Good old voter suppression. That easy, sweeping catch-all claim applied by Democrats when possible voter fraud is brought up. They claim voter fraud never ever ever happens, but that those evil rednecks go around intimidating people away from the polls just like those Jim Crow racists did in the 60s. Speaking of - isn’t it curious that Kentucky and Mississippi - very conservative southern states - would resist disclosing information? And that Mississippi’s Republican SecState - which has already fended off grassroots attempts to dig into their voter roll records - would have such a curiously vehement response? Gee, really makes you think, doesn’t it? 

Naturally, the WaPo has the best comedic value for the column-inch as they detail their foaming-mad delusions: 

It’s no secret: Under the guise of fighting “voter fraud,” they’ll use it as a tool to disenfranchise thousands, perhaps even millions of people, in order to solidify the Republican advantage in elections. 

But how, WaPo? Are they going to round them up and execute them en-masse? Shove them in concentration camps? Steal the wheels off their cars on Election Day? 

Meanwhile, tens of thousands of Kansans have been blocked from registering by the 2011 law he championed that requires documentary proof of citizenship in order to register.

You can prove citizenship with your fucking ID card (Kansas, like most states, will issue “state ID cards” for people who don’t drive or otherwise have no need of a driver’s license,) a tax return, or anything else. For fucks sake, you even need to disclose your residency status (citizen or non-citizen) to enroll in welfare. So who exactly are these tens of thousands that are being excluded? Oh, do you have a single fucking cite for that breathtaking claim, oh journalist? 

We see this pattern again and again: Republicans complain that there is some huge voter fraud problem that requires sweeping new laws in order to solve, but when it’s investigated, it turns out that the problem is somewhere between microscopic and nonexistent. But in the meantime, they’ve stolen thousands of people’s voting rights — people who just happen to disproportionately be Democrats.

“Disproportionately be Democrats.” Like the illegal immigrants, amirite? 

The second apparent goal is more direct: Create lists of allegedly questionable voters that they’ll give to states in order to convince them to purge those people from the rolls, by showing that they might be registered in more than one place. 

Pure speculation based on a grand total of fucking nothing. Much of the article revolves around this assertion that Kobach just wants to blindly de-register duplicate names, instead of, you know, updating the fucking voter rolls so they’re current, or something. Which would make them actually useful for detecting fraud. Gee, why do left-wingers consistently sue to prevent voter rolls from being updated? And note the New York and Ohio cases involve purging the rolls of voters who haven’t voted - in New York’s case, since 2008. If you don’t do something, how the hell do you purge dead people from the rolls? And why would Democrats have a vested interest in keeping these records too cluttered and useless for detecting actual fraud, if there’s none going on? Really tickles the fuckin noggin, doesn’t it? 

Let’s be clear: The sole purpose of this commission on “election integrity” is to suppress votes and give the GOP a structural advantage in every election. It’s being led by Kris Kobach, whose twin missions in life are to scale back immigration and to make voting more difficult.

Are they implying that mass immigration benefits Democrats at the polls? Could that possibly explain why Democrats have done everything in their power - especially under Obama - to inhibit any attempt to enforce Federal immigration law? Gee fuckin whiz. 

These people are not trying to determine whether there are problems with our voting system and find the best solutions to those problems. They have come together to promote the myth of voter fraud and enable vote suppression in order to advantage the Republican Party. 

“The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy - evidence, MY ASS!” HEY GUYS, QUICK FACT CHECK - HOW MANY TURRETS DOES ARIZONA HAVE? 

 And last, but not least - witness this demented screed arguing that Trump’s second scoop of ice cream will make us all sick, and that Trump has a duty to the nation to be skinny and hit the gym while listening to cool music on his Ipod.

[marvelandponder]

Seems Like the Answer Should be No

I want to start this off by repeating something I’ve already said on my blog at various points: most of the time Rainbow Dash has terrible self-esteem. In that, she either has too much or too little. It’s kind of a problem.

So the goal, here, being healthy self-love, doesn’t necessarily mean building up kids to be a bunch of tiny ego-maniacs. If done right, I’m willing to bet it could do some good.

If for no one else, then for Rainbow Dash.

And, I mean, as a member of the generation who grew up with constant self-esteem campaigns and also has to face criticism for being too self-centered (go figure), I know teaching kids how to love themselves a healthy amount is notoriously complicated.

So, what is healthy self-love and how can Rainbow Dash finally achieve it long-term, thereby teaching the kiddos how to do the thing?

You know what time it is.

Friendship is Self-Love

Our first goal is to find a way to teach kids self-love in a nuanced, balanced way. Which... admittedly would be tricky for an adult show not to oversimplify, let alone a kids’ show that necessarily has to simplify things to some degree.

So, when I say this it’s something you’ve heard before and yes, it’s cheesy in the extreme: treat yourself like you would your best friend.

Honestly, it’s the perfect message for Friendship is Magic, for very obvious reasons. This show is all about well-developed relationships, so coming from this source, it doesn’t just mean ‘be nice and compliment yourself.’

It means develop a deep respect for yourself. It means be loving enough to build yourself up, but also be able to give yourself a reality check when you need one---be supportive. It even means to have a sense of humour about yourself where appropriate, as the girls aren’t afraid to poke some well-meaning fun at each other every now and then (but note that humour is never really mean-spirited). 

It means treat yourself how the mane six treat each other, in everything that means.

Every element that makes up harmony---Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty, and Friendship---is extremely useful in loving yourself to a healthy degree, and it gets more nuanced the more lessons you take from the show and reinterpret. Because, perhaps just like Friendship, self-love is just another kind of Harmony: being in harmony with yourself.

And it gets even better when you add in characters like Sunset Shimmer and Starlight, who’ve had to struggle forgive and trust themselves, respectively. And going back to the friendship metaphor, Discord, who’s had a backslide since reforming but was forgiven anyway because he recognized the error of his ways. In fact, most characters who got a second chance only deserved that second chance just because they realized how much they messed up (at the time, they hadn’t done much to earn it, and only proved that judgement right in hindsight)---which is an equally powerful lesson when it comes to forgiving yourself.

By invoking lessons from the show’s past to teach this new lesson, we get to see how complex self-love really is. It helps us see pass the cheesy sentiment to the real meaning of the phrase. Treating yourself like a best-friend comes with just as many lessons as friendship itself does.

Well, that’s a fine goal, you say, but how do you plan on achieving that self-love? That’s where Rainbow Dash comes back in.

Is Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash Without a Big Ego?

Here’s something I kind of touched on in my recent Twilight editorial. When a character develops past their defining trait(s), well, are they still the same character?

Thankfully, we already have an answer: Fluttershy!

Sure, our girl’s still introverted and quiet, but shy? Not quite. I went over how I think Fluttershy’s developed extremely well in recent seasons in that link up there, and what strikes me is how much Fluttershy still feels like herself since developing, just a healthier, more mature version of herself.

She’s still a complex character with flaws, but she’s learned to be comfortable with herself and stand up for her own feelings.

And frankly, at this point I think we could have Fluttershy teach Rainbow Dash about self-love. 

The two of them have often be paired together (I mean, not just in the shipping sense) because of the obvious and stark contrasts between them. One of those contrasts being how Fluttershy valued herself so little, and Rainbow seemed to value herself too much. 

Well, seemed to. 

Before I dive down this rabbit-hole, I’d be remiss if I didn’t direct you to Azkre’s analysis of Rainbow Dash’s self-esteem, because I’m about to get to a number of the same conclusions they did, just through different means. It’s a good read, I totally recommend it.

Anyway, like I said at the top, Rainbow is a realistic portrayal of someone with an ego. It’s not just highs that are too high, but lows that are too low. It’s why I usually disagree with fans who would label Rainbow Dash as a narcissist (although, yeah, she’s close enough that I totally get the comparison). 

Mainly, what separates Dash from this particular personality disorder is 1. Her empathy (the disorder is often characterized by a lack of empathy), and 2. She has massive insecurities that she tries to cover up with her ego.

For example, from as early as Read It and Weep which I still think should’ve been called Reading Rainbow, there was a hint that Rainbow’s insecure about her intelligence. At the episode’s end, instead of saying she thought reading was boring or just for lame ponies, she tells Twilight she “thought reading was only for smart ponies, like [Twilight].” 

This comes back into play in Testing, Testing, 1,2,3, when we see this insecurity explained, as Dashie explains her show-bouty class-clowning prevented her from learning how to learn. And not only that, considering how schools normally teach and how Rainbow Dash actually learns, it seems like the school system itself gradually taught Rainbow she was “too dumb to learn anything.” 

As a total aside, it interests me to think whether the class-clowning came first or the failing grades. Was there an order, or was this always just a perpetual cycle?

She then used her natural flying ability to define herself instead---a “world-class athlete” or a “future Wonderbolt.” She had to prove herself in a different way, and you can see that insecurity still there in how she has to brag to assert her worth.

I think her ego is genuine to some extent, don’t get me wrong. She can back-up most of her big claims, so it’s not hard for her to genuinely believe she is the best flyer in Equestria or just all-around awesome.

But it goes to show what a complex character Rainbow Dash actually is. She’s not just a dreamer who simultaneously wants praise and to inspire others, she’s insecure and big-headed.

So, back to our point. How do we teach Rainbow Dash healthy self-love? Well, I think we have to attack this from both sides.

Rainbow Dash has slowly been learning humility. For example, her entrance into the Wonderbolts marked a turning point in her professional career: instead of striving to stand-out in hopes of gaining entrance to the Wonderbolts, she now has to learn how to fit-in and work with them as a team. 

She’s learning to get a healthier amount of praise and spotlight, I think, and even learning to accept praise with humility. It was legitimately exciting for me, as a Rainbow Dash fan, to see Quibble Pants and Spitfire (in Rarity Investigates) praise her, and more importantly, to see Rainbow Dash respond by accepting these compliments without going too far.

But, that’s only half of the story. 

I do believe Rainbow’s lessons in humility and focusing more on others are extremely important to her development, but I also think we have to tackle her insecurities if we’re ever going to get her to stop bragging in excess.

And here’s Fluttershy’s role. Back in Hurricane Fluttershy, Rainbow helped to boost Fluttershy up in the face of adversity and the memories of Fluttershy’s childhood bullies. Dash needs something similar from Shy. With Fluttershy’s help, she needs to learn how to stop seeking approval from external sources so much, and instead be satisfied giving that approval to herself.

Sounds like just being egotistic when I put it that way, but what I really mean is times like in 28 Pranks Later, Newbie Dash, and some of the Mysterious Mare-do-Well. 

There are times when humility is the thing that would stop her from bragging (like the first half of Mare-Do-Well, when she’s unopposed), but then there’s times like these where Rainbow Dash’s bragging and impulsive actions are to impress ponies for the sole reason of proving herself to them.

Just like Fluttershy, who developed performance anxiety because of the teasing she endured, there’s still a part of Rainbow Dash who’s that little filly trying to shout over the bullies tearing her down. To some degree, her ego is a coping mechanism.

Which is why she needs to learn to care less about what others think of her, and more about what she thinks of herself. 

Fluttershy’s had to learn this lesson for other reasons and could be a great teacher in helping Dash to learn to be her own best friend. Someone who can support herself and keep herself in check, in addition to all the other lessons I talked about before.

And you know, Rainbow Dash is capable of learning this lesson. Hell, she taught it a different version of it to Scootaloo when she had doubts. Rainbow Dash thankfully never expects Scootaloo to live up to her example, and instead teaches her to avoid comparing herself to others who can fly.

So, what does a healthy, but still complex Rainbow Dash look like? Well, Silver Quill just put out an awesome video on Rainbow’s archetype (go watch, it’s great), and among other things, he points out Rainbow’s drive to meet challenges. To overcome the impossible.

I don’t think Rainbow Dash would have to lose that drive to be a more humble, well-balanced character, and I have to think she’ll always have that confident pizzazz of hers. Just... to a healthier, less obnoxious degree. And to be clear, she still has plenty of lessons to learn (no one ever stops learning), like balancing her impulsiveness with some manner of fore-thought, so she’s not ever going to be perfect. Just more mature.

So, with any luck, maybe by the time Rainbow Dash makes Captain of the Wonderbolts, she’ll be humble, considerate, and self-assured enough for the job. Hopefully, we can learn with her.

That’s all, folks! But, I’ve done other stuff, if you liked this editorial. Here’s a link to all the editorials, and here’s the last three Year of the Pony posts, so you don’t have to look far!

Rainbow Dash Editorial, Spike Editorial, and Design and Animation Analysis

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[ktkski2017-blog]

Mount Kenya

February 21, 2017

On Saturday, after rounding in the morning on male medical ward with Janet while Clark battled the credit card/debit card/cash/bank/chip-card debacle, Luke and I prepared to leave Chogoria to hike Mount Kenya. If you read our safari adventure you might have heard of our hired guide, Dunsten. So long story short, we had already given him a downpayment to take us up Mount Kenya prior to going on safari – and this guy had been recommended by Sergei from a hike he went on the previous month – so we went with it. His company was called something like mountain trekkers so we figured it had to be better than the safari. And it was – I can glowingly recommend Dunsten and his crew for mountain trekking as we had a great weekend.

Day 1

We met Dunsten and his six porters/cooks/drivers/what have you in the grass in front of Clark’s house. They had a safari vehicle (go figure) that was a bit worse for wear, but ran. The whole group of them watched as Luke and I walked up (joined by Clark who came to see us off) and then I proceeded to talk business with Dunsten and debate costs (details not important). We eventually agreed (in front of everyone) and jumped in the vehicle, fitting all eight people and our gear inside - two in the boot with all of the backpacks. We picked up someone in town who wanted a ride to the National Park, so now there were nine of us. The road up the mountain was similar to the one we had taken with Leonard to find the waterfall a few days ago – at times narrow with potholes and obstacles. At another time, the road was newly made and completely smooth with water pipes running alongside it in the dirt as if the road was not yet finished. The car did not have power steering so the driver wrangled the steering wheel  back and forth. The door that I was sitting against did not seem stable so I spent the ride gripping the seat in front of me as we also didn’t have seatbelts. All of the “the guys” debated loudly about various topics in Swahili so Luke and I just watched the sights go by. Once we reached the Mount Kenya National Forest (the electric fence wire strewn to the side allowing open driving to and from the forest), the road was graded and relatively well maintained but pretty steep. At one point Dunsten got out and did something with the engine before we went up a large slope. The forest on either side of the road had a lot of bamboo and we saw several small animals scamper to the sides, including monkeys. Dunsten said that the forest had water buffalo, hyena, some predators (but few and far between), birds, elephants, etc. At one incline the car stopped and Dunsten said that Luke and I were to get out to hike the last few kilometers for acclimation to the altitude. We hopped out and met Elijah – one of the crew that had been riding with us (turns out he is Dunsten’s brother-in-law) – and we hiked up the remainder of the distance to the cabin we were scheduled to stay at overnight at “the Bandas.” Luke and I had started taking dexamethasone the previous day – this is a generic steroid that people with lung diseases or inflammatory conditions take when they need a boost to their systems and can be used to combat altitude sickness. We did okay with the altitude – we were certainly huffing and puffing but as soon as the ground levelled out our breathing and heart rates slowed to normal (without the acclimation we would likely have higher resting heart and breathing rates to compensate for the decreased oxygen available at higher altitudes – this makes your body work harder just to maintain status-quo).

The cabin was simple wood with concrete footers and a concrete fireplace – we were given a bedroom with twin beds and a bathroom that was no frills. The shower leaked all day (which perhaps kept it from freezing in the cold temperatures on the mountain) and the toilet didn’t have a seat – which is common in public bathrooms in Kenya. The temperature was cool - maybe in the 60’s –but I was comfortable in a t-shirt with a thin long-sleeve over shirt and running pants. Luke was in shorts.  The porters/cooks set up in the next room to cook dinner and brought us out some tea. Elijah gathered us to go for a walk around the Bandas to see some of the animals. He walked us up to a fish hatchery, however there was no one around to show us the place – so we wandered a bit around the large cement drums that supposedly held 1,000 fish each and I snapped some shots of a large grey heron that must find some way to get past the hodge-podge wire coverings. We went to a few overlooks and saw waterbuck. At another overlook we heard loud noises in the woods so we sat down to see if any large animals would emerge. Several water buffalo descended out of the forest but the noises continued and we highly suspected an elephant (known for chomping down trees for a snack). While sitting on tufts of dried grasses, the weather changed and a rain cloud appeared overhead. I remember saying “looks like a rain cloud” but we continued to wait for the suspected elephant. We felt a couple of drops and decided to start walking back. Shortly thereafter, the sky opened up and it began to downpour so we ran for cover under one of the other cabin porches. Eventually we figured we needed to run the rest of the way in the rain as it did not look like it was going to stop anytime soon. Soaked, we returned to the cabin to be chuckled at by the other porters. We changed our clothes and sat around in the small sitting room next to the kitchen as people came and went all speaking Swahili. The temperatures dropped with the sun and Elijah lit a fire in the fireplace. Dinner was soup for appetizer with mashed potatoes, a vegetable stew, and fresh fruit for dessert. Initially, we didn’t know that the soup was only an appetizer – so we were stuffed by the end of dinner as we had eaten dinner portions of soup. The evening was spent sitting around the fire – Elijah joined us for some of the time and Dunsten for another portion. They were taking turns between their own meals. In the kitchen next to us was a constant discussion and people kept coming and going – it was like a clown car once we realized how small the room actually (there was only 1 chair we realized the next day). Eventually the party left the kitchen and the cabin was left to Luke and I. We hung up our wet clothes to dry by the fire and eventually went to sleep as we hadn’t thought to bring any entertainment with us (to lighten the load of hiking). The night was cold and the rain kept coming and going – so loud on the tin roofed buildings.

Day 2

Morning came early and the cook came at 6am to start boiling water and making food. We got up, packed our hiking bags (to be carried by the porters) and sat down for breakfast, which included fried eggs, toast, and a kind of pancake vs thick crepe. And tea, of course. Once we were all packed and ready, Dunsten led Luke and I toward the next destination. The day was cloudy with patchy sun. I kept switching from being too hot to too cold depending on whether the sun was out or we were going uphill. We walked through some pretty varied landscape – from dried grasses to green forest with huge trees dangling what looked like Spanish moss. There were fragrant bushes lining many of the roads that smelled kind of like rosemary and spearmint. I tried to figure out what many of the plants were but they were all strange and Dunsten only knew the names of a few, which he would share when he knew them. The large trees were “argoria”? And looked like huge Cyprus trees with thick wide spanning branches. At one point we made a turn off to go view a scenic lake and headed uphill. The climb was steep and slow – at one particularly steep area we realized a SUV with a small fishing boat on top of it was coming up behind us. Several guys got out of the vehicle and walked up the hill as the driver of the vehicle somehow drove that SUV up some of the most rugged and steep road that I have ever seen. He even waved at us out the window as he passed and then quickly put two hands back on the wheel. We met the guys as they walked past us – some ex-pats from Scotland/New Zealand/Canada was the vague explanation that I got. They were adventuring this weekend. Sounded like they had previously summited the mountain and were here for what I would assume is ‘bro’ time. We continued the slow climb after they had re-entered the car once it had passed the worst of the bad road. The lake was very picturesque in the dried grassy fields. Luke and I ate a snack and tried to enjoy the nature (minus the car load of guys across the way setting up for fishing camp). Dunsten the led us onward instead of back towards the way we came, saying we were going to take “the scenic route” to the camp. We walked farther along the lake, past some designated camping sites, and up around the hill next to the lake. The path was at times easy to find and other times was non-existent and so we bushwhacked through some of the foliage. The dried grass tufts were tricky to walk through as the ground was obscured by the grass – you never knew what lay beneath. A hole? A rock? Sometimes you would trip yourself with the grass if you stood on the end of it and tried to pass your other foot, hooking your toe. If you stepped on the dried grass tuft your foot would fall off the edge of the very sturdy tuft. I got far behind Luke and Dunsten several times trying to maneuver my path. We bushwhacked down a slope and I almost fell several times, grabbing on to various bushes to stabilize myself. We walked along a river for a while and my arms got sore from brushing against the bushes that stood on either side of the animal trail path – I felt like I was training to be a linebacker by the end of the trip from the number of times I had to push past the branches. As my hangry level rose we continued to bushwhack toward lunch. At one point Dunsten had us jump across a river at a arbitrarily chosen point after winding along the edge of the river, stepping in mushy spots and falling over tufts of dried grasses/avoiding thistles. Luckily we reached the camp shortly thereafter and they had lunch ready for us (or at least tea). They had set up a tent for us as well as a picnic table-ish area covered in a masai cloth. After lunch we set up our sleeping bags and mats (borrowed from Cyrus and Christina- thank you!) and set things up assuming it would rain during the night.  

After a short break, Elijah took us on a walk to visit the nearby sites. First we visited a waterfall. We stood at the top of the waterfall – mere feet away from our shoes – and watched the water gush over the top. The path to the bottom of the waterfall was immediately next to the waterfall – meaning if you veered off the path a few inches to the left and stepped on the soft grass that “edged” the path – you would find yourself immediately at the base of the waterfall. At one point a cedar tree that had its roots at the base of the fall was a left sided hand-hold toward the top third of the tree. We clambored down roots, back and forth along the edge, and made it to the bottom in one piece. The waterfall was so lovely with the spray moistening the surrounding foliage and making it lush. The sun was out for the time being and lighting up the greenery. Once we had taken some photos and enjoyed the scene, we scrambled back up the slope and headed to “the caves.” The pathway to the caves was also exciting but less vertical. I will mention here that Mount Kenya was originally a volcano – not currently active – so the rock is all post-lavaflow. The caves consisted of crumbling lower lava flows that were pulled out of the cliffs by water flow. One cave had a small waterfall at the back of it with a large vertical crack through the roof – we did not explore this cave for fear of falling rock. The larger cave was dry but had a huge chunk of the roof that had fallen down that now created an island in the floor of the cave. People camp in the cave as evidenced by their trash left behind as well as old burned coals. Luke and I wandered up through a crevasse in the mountain cut by a small river/waterfall and enjoyed its wind tunnel effect on our hair. We slowly made our way back to camp, enjoying the temporary sunshine warming us up.

At camp, and at various points on our trip, we met several other travelers like ourselves. There was one group of French-speaking ladies who were taking breaks from their families for a ladies weekend on Mount Kenya. They are ex-pats living in Johannesburg, South Africa that met each other through their children, who all attend a French-speaking school while their husbands work/are stationed there. They were very friendly and surprisingly loud by French-people standards, and would often provide most of my entertainment during the trip. Another couple included a pair of friends – one had a South African accent (white) but was living in a nearby town here in Kenya and her companion was a Jordanian man that was visiting her for the time being. The French ladies had a group of porters, cooks, and a guide similar to us, whereas the friend couple had just hired a guide and a porter – and were otherwise doing their own cooking etc.

After dinner but before bed, Luke and I joined our porters/cooks next to a small fire that they made to keep warm. The temperatures were likely in the 50’s. We didn’t speak Swahili so the two of us sat there for about an hour listening to the group chat without us – but everyone can appreciate a warm fire silently and we had been welcomed over by Elijah, no one seemed concerned that we were there and not participating in the conversation. The stars were out and beautiful before we went to bed.

[deathbyzamboni-us-blog]

Hillary Clinton and Saturday Night Live in Trump’s America

             The 2016 Presidential Election was one of the most draining exercises in American history. With the 18 month build up that was exhausting it should have been foreseen that its culmination would be as equally shocking. The ramifications of this cycle will have consequences in the years to come. For me the reason why the whole cycle was depressing was due to the involvement of Donald J. Trump. I have always though the man to be a clown but coming to realization that he will be the next president is depressing. It is in dark times where I find humor to be the best coping mechanism and, when I saw that Dave Chappelle would be hosting Saturday Night Live I started to perk up. Due to it being a live weekly show they tend to stick to current events in their program so, naturally this episode would be dealing with the outcome of the presidential election. The sketches that most impacted me in this episode are Kate McKinnon’s performance of Leonard Coen’s “Hallelujah” and a skit depicting the night of the election.

           If you don’t know what Saturday Night Live is, I guess you haven’t owned a television for 40 years but, for the uninitiated, Saturday Night Live (SNL for short), is a television program that has be run on the NBC network since 1975. Created by Loren Michaels and originally conceived as a variety show, like The Ed Sullivan Show, it quickly became a live comedy sketch program with different musical guests and a different host every week. This change occurred in the first season and is pretty much what the show is today. In its 42nd season it doesn’t look like it’s getting canceled any time soon. Since the show relies on current events the three things you need to know understand content of the episode, 11/12/16, is as follows; Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 Presidential Election; Legendary Singer Songwriter Leonard Cohen passed away that week and comedian Dave Chappelle took on hosting duties.

           The 2016 Presidential election had Hillary Clinton as the Democratic party candidate and Donald J. Trump as the Republican Party candidate. Clinton who has been in the public eye as long as I can remember (I was born in 1989) has held many roles in public office such as the Senator of New York state and the Secretary of Defense and was the first lady to Bill Clinton. Hillary is a far from beloved figure and there are many reasons for this; it is perceived she plays to what people want instead of just being herself; there has been scandals that have follow the Clintons for years (Monica Lewinsky, The Clinton Foundation and, Sending Emails from a private server while she was Secretary of Defense); she is a woman of power which presents a threat to some men. Regardless how people feel about it her it can’t be taken away that she is one of the hardest working people on planet and that she was dying to become the President of The United States of America. Donald Trump on the other hand is a business man and reality star who rode a wave of racism, xenophobia and, crassness to claim the Republican nomination. This man, who many feel to be a clown, beat her out for the Job of Commander in Chief. This was heartbreaking and shocking for this man to beat her. It was predicted that she would win by a majority of news outlets but, he won in a stunning upset. That week people were still coming to terms with this.  Also, singer songwriter Leonard Cohen passed away who was a well-respected lyricist was a great loss to the intellectual community.

           Saturday Night Live opens their shows with a cold open. A cold open is an opening to a show or movie that takes place before the introduction credits. For this cold open they had SNL player Kate McKinnon dress up as Hillary Clinton. She wore a white pants suit and had the Hillary haircut, a layered blonde shag. She’s alone on a dark stage seated at a piano with the only light focused on her and the instrument. The clothes and hairstyle symbolize Clinton and the SNL writers want to present this performance as if she was actually talking to the audience. She proceeds to play Leonard Coen’s “Hallelujah”, the version that appeared on his record Various Positions. This is important to note because even though he wrote the song the most recognized version was performed by Jeff Buckley and it features different lyrics as result of Cohen inability to stop writing verses for the song. Buckley’s used versus that were appropriate for his record Grace. The mood during the song is somber and sad. This reflects Trump winning because it was a shocking and scary experience for the left minded people of the country. For he represents a win for and chaos. He never held a role in public office which was appealing to his base and scary for the rest of the country. A majority of the SNL staff and their audience is made up of the ladder part of the country so, this was a difficult week to get through.

           “Hallelujah” is used for three reasons; this is Leonard Cohen’s most famous song so this is a tribute to him; the third verse is exclusive to Coen’s 1985 version therefore is a bigger wink at him; this verse also better reflects Hillary Clinton’s futility in winning the election. This verse goes as follows, (I did my best, it wasn't much / I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch / I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you / And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the Lord of Song / With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.) The first line is best taken literally when it comes to Clinton, she gave it her all but she still lost. The third line is ironic coming from a politician since the common public perception of the group is that they are all liars. I have always felt that this is an unfair standard to hold someone because all humans lie. When put in the context of her and Trump, she’s Honest Abe Lincoln and he’s Tricky Dick Nixon. Also, I feel that Donald Trump conned his way to the presidency by selling change to a section of the country that desperately wanted needs but, he won’t be able to deliver that, no one can. Meanwhile Hillary whether you liked her or not, she ran on telling the public what her policies were, she wasn’t trying to “fool us.” Finally, the last couple of lines is her acknowledgement of her failure but since the word hallelujah is used to cap this sentiment it feels that failure should be celebrated. hallelujah is normally used to recognize the presence of god and for people who are religious, god is the most meaningful being in existence and he is positive and enlightening. The word hallelujah is used to sum up this idea. With this song Cohen reappointed this celebratory term to recognize that negative feelings and experiences should be cherished because they make the good things in life more valuable in comparison. With every sunset into darkness there will be a sunrise to guide us back to the light which I find to be a hopeful sentiment. To emphasize this point to the audience Hillary, tells us at the end of the song, “I’m not giving up and neither should you.”

           The next sketch was also about the election but instead of going to dark to light this one goes light to dark but that doesn’t mean it can’t be funny. The host of this episode, Dave Chappelle, stars in this one with Chris Rock. Both men were the biggest African-American stand-up comics to come out of the latter half of the 90’s. The two have both based many jokes from the Black man’s struggle in America. Chappelle with the sketch in Chappelle’s Show, of the blind white-supremacist who is black and, Rock with his, “for white people the sky’s the limit and black people the limit is the sky” bit being famous examples. Besides Chappelle and Rock there are 4 other characters who are all white. One of them is a man and the other three being women. All these characters are in their 30-40’s and are economically well off representing this is the setting of an apartment in the city. The sketch depicts the characters watching the presidential election with time jumping forward to key points of the night. We know that they are snobby liberals because the characters refer to news organizations like the Huffington Post and Slate, both of which have a hard-liberal bias; they have Hillary Clinton signs; they are drinking wine instead of beer which is a “classier” type of alcohol to consume.

           All the white characters start off overly confident that Clinton will win with Dave warning them that, “don’t forget, it’s a big country.” He issues this warning because these city liberals live in an echo chamber of their own political beliefs. The part of the country that decided the election, Rural America, has no presence in the city so, people tend to be unaware and/or deny the other part of the country’s attitude. As the night progresses, it becomes more apparent that Trump will win the presidency, which causes the white people to panic. Before Trump wins the election, Chris Rock enters the sketch to support Black America’s feeling with Chappelle. The white people can’t fathom that Trump is going to win the election while Rock and Chappelle were fully aware of that possibility. The reason for this is the white people can’t believe that the American people would vote for someone who spouts racist rhetoric but the black men who deal with this kind of speech everyday are more keyed in to the racism in this country. The ultimate point of the sketch is to highlight people’s line of thinking when they live in a “bubble.” A bubble in this situation is to be surrounded by people and only digest information that serves your point of view without acknowledging other lines of thinking. Often most people in the country aren’t aware or don’t think about other perceptions that don’t align with their beliefs. This can be intentional and/or by accident but when your bubble is burst you can be in for a rude awakening. As Rock and Chappelle said Trump winning isn’t our country being set back but, rather liberals should be aware of the problems that still haunt their country. It will get better and we aren’t in a worse place now but, liberals now need to work harder for their causes. For now, the President is not on their side.