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lire-casander · 4 years

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So, I was catching up on Discord, and found a conversation about RNM characters and Enneagram Types, and decided to take the test since I had never done it before. I looks like this in Spanish

Meaning that I’m a Type 3, closely followed by a Type 2. But honestly, I never thought of myself as an achiever, so I looked it up on the oficial website and this is what it says my type looks like. All information taken from The Enneagram Institute webpage

3 - THE ACHIEVER - Enneagram Type Three

The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type:

Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious

Type Three in Brief

Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be—role models who inspire others.

Basic Fear: Of being worthless

Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

Enneagram Three with a Two-Wing: "The Charmer"

Enneagram Three with a Four-Wing: "The Professional"

Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.

The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), driven Threes suddenly become disengaged and apathetic at Nine. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), vain, deceitful Threes become more cooperative and committed to others, like healthy Sixes. Learn more about the arrows.

Examples: Augustus Caesar, Emperor Constantine, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair, Prince William, Condoleeza Rice, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Lewis, Muhammed Ali, John Edwards, Mitt Romney, Bill Wilson (AA Founder), Andy Warhol, Truman Capote, Werner Erhard, Oprah Winfrey, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Bernie Madoff, Bryant Gumbel, Michael Jordan, O.J. Simpson, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Elvis Presley, Paul McCartney, Madonna, Sting, Whitney Houston, Jon Bon Jovi, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Brooke Shields, Cindy Crawford, Tom Cruise, Barbra Streisand, Ben Kingsley, Jamie Foxx, Richard Gere, Ken Watanabe, Will Smith, Courteney Cox, Demi Moore, Kevin Spacey, Reese Witherspoon, Anne Hathaway, Chef Daniel Boulud, Dick Clark, Ryan Seacrest, Cat Deeley, Mad Men’s “Don Draper,” Glee’s “Rachel Berry”

Type Three Overview

We have named personality type Three The Achiever because when they are healthy, Threes really can and do achieve great things in the world. They are the "stars" of human nature, and people often look up to them because of their graciousness and personal accomplishments. Healthy Threes know how good it feels to develop themselves and contribute their abilities to the world, and also enjoy motivating others to greater personal achievements than others thought they were capable of. They are usually well regarded and popular among their peers, the type of person who is frequently voted “class president" or “home coming queen” because people feel they want to be associated with this kind of person who acts as a stand-in for them. Healthy Threes embody the best in a culture, and others are able to see their hopes and dreams mirrored in them.

Threes are often successful and well liked because, of all the types, they most believe in themselves and in developing their talents and capacities. Threes act as living “role models” and paragons because of their extraordinary embodiment of socially valued qualities. Healthy Threes know that they are worth the effort it takes to be “the best that they can be.” Their success at doing so inspires others to invest in their own self-development.

Threes want to make sure their lives are a success, however that is defined by their family, their culture, and their social sphere. In some families, success means having a lot of money, a grand house, a new, expensive car, and other status symbols. Others value ideas, and success to them means distinguishing oneself in academic or scientific worlds. Success in other circles might mean becoming famous as an actor, or model, or writer, or as a public figure of some kind, perhaps as a politician. A religious family might encourage a child to become a minister, priest, or rabbi since these professions have status in their community and in the eyes of the family. No matter how success is defined, Threes will try to become somebody noteworthy in their family and their community. They will not be a “nobody.”

To this end, Threes learn to perform in ways that will garner them praise and positive attention. As children, they learned to recognize the activities that were valued by their parents or peers, and put their energies into excelling in those activities. Threes also learned how to cultivate and develop whatever about them is attractive or potentially impressive.

Everyone needs attention, encouragement, and the affirmation of their value in order to thrive, and Threes are the type which most exemplifies this universal human need. Threes want success not so much for the things that success will buy (like Sevens), or for the power and feeling of independence that it will bring (like Eights). They want success because they are afraid of disappearing into a chasm of emptiness and worthlessness: without the increased attention and feeling of accomplishment which success usually brings, Threes fear that they are nobody and have no value.

The problem is that, in the headlong rush to achieve whatever they believe will make them more valuable, Threes can become so alienated from themselves that they no longer know what they truly want, or what their real feelings or interests are. In this state, they are easy prey to self–deception, deceit, and falseness of all kinds. Thus, the deeper problem is that their search for a way to be of value increasingly takes them further away from their own Essential Self with its core of real value. From their earliest years, as Threes become dependent on receiving attention from others and in pursuing the values that others reward, they gradually lose touch with themselves. Step by step, their own inner core, their “heart’s desire,” is left behind until they no longer recognize it.

Thus, while they are the primary type in the Feeling Center, Threes, interestingly, are not known as “feeling” people; rather, they are people of action and achievement. It is as if they “put their feelings in a box” so that they can get ahead with what they want to achieve. Threes have come to believe that emotions get in the way of their performance, so they substitute thinking and practical action for feelings.

Threes report that when they realize to what extent they have adapted their lives to the expectations of others, the question arises, “Well, then, what do I want?” They often simply did not know; it was not a question that had ever come up before. Thus, the fundamental dilemma of Threes is that they have not been allowed to be who they really are and to manifest their own authentic qualities. At a young age, they got the message that they were not allowed to have feelings and be themselves: they must, in effect, be someone else to be accepted. To some degree, all of the personality types have been sent the same message, but because of their particular background and makeup, Threes not only heard it, they began to live by it. The attention they received by performing in a certain way was their oxygen, and they needed it to breathe. Unfortunately, it came at a high price.

Type Three—Levels of Development

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Self-accepting, inner-directed, and authentic, everything they seem to be. Modest and charitable, self-deprecatory humor and a fullness of heart emerge. Gentle and benevolent.

Level 2: Self-assured, energetic, and competent with high self-esteem: they believe in themselves and their own value. Adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious.

Level 3: Ambitious to improve themselves, to be "the best they can be"—often become outstanding, a human ideal, embodying widely admired cultural qualities. Highly effective: others are motivated to be like them in some positive way.

Average Levels

Level 4: Highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth depends on it. Terrified of failure. Compare self with others in search for status and success. Become careerists, social climbers, invested in exclusivity and being the "best."

Level 5: Become image-conscious, highly concerned with how they are perceived. Begin to package themselves according to the expectations of others and what they need to do to be successful. Pragmatic and efficient, but also premeditated, losing touch with their own feelings beneath a smooth facade. Problems with intimacy, credibility, and "phoniness" emerge.

Level 6: Want to impress others with their superiority: constantly promoting themselves, making themselves sound better than they really are. Narcissistic, with grandiose, inflated notions about themselves and their talents. Exhibitionistic and seductive, as if saying "Look at me!" Arrogance and contempt for others is a defense against feeling jealous of others and their success.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Fearing failure and humiliation, they can be exploitative and opportunistic, covetous of the success of others, and willing to do "whatever it takes" to preserve the illusion of their superiority.

Level 8: Devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will not be exposed. Untrustworthy, maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others

Level 9: Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic behavior. Generally corresponds to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Addictions

Over-stressing the body for recognition. Working out to exhaustion. Starvation diets. Workaholism. Excessive intake of coffee, stimulants, amphetamines, cocaine, steroids or excessive surgery for cosmetic improvement.

Personal Growth Recommendations for Enneagram Type Threes

For our real development, it is essential to be truthful. Be honest with yourself and others about your genuine feelings and needs. Likewise, resist the temptation to impress others or inflate your importance. You will impress people more deeply by being authentic than by bragging about your successes or exaggerating your accomplishments.

Develop charity and cooperation in your relationships. You can do this by taking time to pause in a busy day to really connect with someone you care about. Nothing spectacular is required—simply a few moments of quiet appreciation. When you do so, you will become a more loving person, a more faithful friend—and a much more desirable individual. You will feel better about yourself.

Take breaks. You can drive yourself and others to exhaustion with your relentless pursuit of your goals. Ambition and self-development are good qualities, but temper them with rest periods in which you reconnect more deeply with yourself. Sometimes taking three to five deep breaths is enough to recharge your battery and improve your outlook.

Develop your social awareness. Many Threes have grown tremendously by getting involved in projects that had nothing to do with their own personal advancement. Working cooperatively with others toward goals that transcend personal interest is a powerful way of finding your true value and identity.

In their desire to be accepted by others, some average Threes adapt so much to the expectations of others that they lose touch with what they are really feeling about the situation. Develop yourself by resisting doing what is acceptable just to be accepted. It is imperative that you invest time in discovering your own core values.

#apparently i am type 3 level 4 #lire babbling #i'm not sure i should have taken it #enneagram test #i'm not sure if this is good or bad

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flipflopskiphop · 6 years

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SxSW 2018 Diary - Day 2

Who doesn’t want to hold a baby goat? Day 2 is off to a good start at Viceland’s space, a mixture of marketing genius and prime real estate. It makes me wonder if the people responsible for promoting HBO’s investigative news show attended the same 2016 SxSW talk that I did, We Need More Mischief and Whimsy, because they have nailed it.

In the back of the Viceland bus a DJ is spinning “She’s a Bad Mama Jama” while another DJ mixes it up in the yard–it’s only 10 am. I shoplift one of the free prescription pill bottles filled with Mommy’s Little Helpers (i.e., mints) and make my way to the first session of the day; it’s sunny and a lovely 90 degrees.

Throughout the week I find myself drawn to the stories of strong women leaders. First up is Gayle King’s interview with Featured Speaker: Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of the online dating site Bumble. I was vaguely aware of Herd’s backstory–she had been a Vice President at Tinder until she left in 2014 over claims of sexual harassment and a hostile work environment, when making such waves was not as supported as it is now in the #MeToo era. Like Esther Perel, she believes relationships are the most important facet of our lives.

Buy a bigger table. In a male-dominated workspace, women (and minorities) may feel there is only one seat at the table for a token representative, which can lead to female friendly-fire incidents.

Wolfe Herd said Bumble’s success was not motivated by revenge; she believes that hate spreads hate and love spreads love. Herd, who will celebrate her 30th birthday next year, declined to respond to questions about a $450 million buyout offer from Match.com.

Next on my schedule is Christiane Amanpour, who is promoting her new television series, Sex & Love Around the World; this is one of the speakers I have been most excited to see. Amanpour in December 2017 was named the interim replacement for PBS’s charlie Rose after sexual harassment allegations against him surfaced. Like Wolfe-Herd, Amanpour talked about being the only woman at the table, having a female boss who was not encouraging, and sexual harassment in the workplace, as well as the importance of having supportive male figures/mentors.

The more parity, the healthier the nation. Amanpour notes this worldwide reckoning on gender equality has been a long time coming. “How many times have I been asked what it is like to be a female war correspondent,” she asks with exasperation. She alights briefly on a range of other topics including Macron (the new “It” guy), North Korea, the Crimea, and fake news. In terms of what she has learned in 35 years at CNN, “There is real currency in starting at the bottom and moving up to follow your dream.”

Let’s talk about lunch, which is one of the toughest nuts at SxSW to crack. The 30 minutes in between sessions is not enough time to get to the food truck lot and back or to sit down for a meal in a restaurant. It’s a 20-minute time investment (10-minute line, 10-minute wait for food) for the few food trucks abutting the Austin Convention Center, which is doable if the next session is unpopular, if you have a friend saving you a spot in line, or if you leave a talk during the Q&A. It’s hard to concentrate on the speakers when you are trying to figure out where your next meal is coming from.

Today the 2 pm keynote is in the same room as the 12:30 talk I attend so I don’t want to leave for lunch and give up my seat. My friend scores a bathroom pass, which allows her to skip the line to get back in, so she leaves and returns with cauliflower tacos for us to share from The Peached Tortilla, named one of the top 101 food trucks in the US a few years ago. It is legit; I eat the same lunch–this time without sharing–two more days in a row.

For the Keynote, Ta-Nehisi Coates is being interviewed by his Atlantic Editor-in-chief; his book, Between the World and Me, won the National Book Award in 2015, he is the author of Marvel’s The Black Panther comic book, and will be writing the new Captain America movie. He attributes the success of the Black Panther movie in part to a need by black people to see their experience presented.

Coates talks about being criticized by other black figures, such as Cornell West, for not being an activist. Like Wolfe Herd, he asks, “Do you have to bring someone down to make room for you? Is there only room for one black intellectual in the public space?”

I always want to write angry, with heart. As a writer he tries to interpret a situation objectively, vice persuading others toward a particular course of action, even if he is sympathetic to a particular cause.

He has decided being on social media is not good for him and has permanently abandoned Twitter.

To cope with my FOMO about missing the Westworld Sweetwater set tour, I go to the Westworld Show Runners panel featuring the actors playing Maeve, Delores, Bernard, and Jimmy and the show’s creators. The cast comes across as a family, and attributes their success to it: “This group of individuals wants everyone to succeed and to kick ass; we all take care of each other.”

When asked about how it felt, amid a very macho show setting, that two of the strongest characters are female, Thandie Newton responds with an eye roll: “It feels normal, it feels right.”

When the cast is asked about experiences they draw on to play their characters, Newton cites the women in the DROC that she has worked with as an activist, women who have died (figuratively) over and over again from abuses.

Like the previous speaker, the show’s creators say they do not spend a lot of time on social media.

Did I say the sneak peek at the Westworld Season 2 trailer was the highlight of this session? No, because the highlight was a surprise appearance by Elon Musk!!! It turns out Westworld’s creator’s helped celebrate the Falcon’s recent launch with a promotional trailer depicting a Tesla orbiting space while David Bowie’s Space Oddity plays in the background. So yeah, we watched that, and Musk also talked briefly about what inspired him.

That evening I watch “Chef Flynn,” a documentary about a child prodigy chef. At 15, Flynn appeared on the cover of the New York Times Magazine, and in 2018, at age 19, he opened his first restaurant in New York City. His story is interesting in part for the social commentary about how he was parented and how he is disrupting the food industry’s traditional path to chef stardom. Chef Flynn was on hand, along with the director, to answer questions afterwards as part of the SxSW film festival.

This seems like a good time to plug the Alamo Theater chain for its avocado toast and other vegetarian-friendly menu options, creative ads, and beverage service.

#sxsw2018 #austin #christiane amanpour #chef flynn #peached tortilla #black panther #westworld #elon musk #ta-nehisi coates #whitney wolfe herd #bumble #vegetarian #alamodrafthouse #diary

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fayecallasdatingblog · 6 years

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How Do You Know You Love Him: 21 Signs You Have Fallen For Him

So you’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks or months, and you’ve got one word on your mind: LOVE. But…how do you know you love him? Is it just infatuation? Lust? Hormones? Or is this actually turning into something real?

How do you know you love him? Pay attention to the signs.

You find yourself singing Whitney Houston’s old gem, How Will I Know, in the shower:

There’s a boy I know, he’s the one I dream of Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above Ooh I lose control, can’t seem to get enough When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love

Okay, that’s super cheesy, but my point is: the question “how do I know if I love him?” is eating at your brain. So allow me to help you get to the bottom of this all-important mystery.

How do you know you love him? The following are signs you’re in love with him, so if any (or all) are true, then you probably do!

1. You Talk About The Future With Him

Next Halloween, we should do a couple’s costume.

Hey, do you wanna take a three-week road trip in the spring?

Our kids would be so damn cute!

Topics like these come up with your boyfriend fairly regularly, and he doesn’t run screaming. Neither do you. Huh.

The thought of a future with this guy is something you’re starting to take for granted as a given, which is a pretty good sign you’re in love with him or are falling in love with him.

2. Everything Reminds You of Him

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You’re eating a peanut butter sandwich: This sandwich reminds me of Tommy. He eats peanut butter.

You put on your favorite green shirt: I wore this three days after my first date with Tommy.

You go out for tacos every Tuesday: Tacos start with the letter T! Just like Tommy!

These examples are a bit ridiculous, but they illustrate a point: if you have Tommy (or whatever your guy’s name is) on the brain 24/7, there’s a good chance you’re in love.

And this isn’t just me saying that when things remind you of him, it means you love him: Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and a leading expert on the biological basis of love, found that people in love focused on trivial events and objects that reminded them about the objects of their affection. Likely, she surmised, this was due to elevated levels of central dopamine and a spike in central norepinephrine.

So if every little thing makes you think of your sweetie…yea, it could be love.

3. You Find Yourself Always Talking About Him

Ask your girlfriends how much you talk about your guy.

You’re kinda disgusted with yourself. You’ve become that girl. The girl (woman, really) who talks incessantly about her man.

Tommy and I were at IKEA the other day…

Tommy loved that recipe. I made it for him this weekend.

I’ll ask Tommy what he thinks about that.

Thing is…you can’t help yourself! It seems like his name falls out of your mouth without you even meaning it to. You try to curb mentions of him to keep your friends from murdering you…but it’s a challenge. How do you know you love him? Ask your friends how many times you’ve said his name in the last hour!

4. You Re-Read His Text Messages & Scroll Through His Photos

It’s the weekend and you’re ready to curl up on the couch for a good read. But instead of picking up that memoir that’s gathering dust on the coffee table…you grab your phone.

You love reading through your past texts with your man. It’s like reading a romance novel. You love scrolling back a mile to when you first started texting to see what the conversation was like way back when. You enjoy seeing when he started sending that kiss-blowing emoji your way.

And while no one else will join you in watching a slideshow of Tommy Pics, you love nothing more than to flick through your photos to gaze adoringly at his face. Here’s Tommy drinking a glass boot of beer. Here’s a selfie of the two of you on the beach at sunset. Here’s Tommy sleeping (er…we might need to have a different conversation if you have one of these!).

And if you wonder why reading these texts and looking at these photos feels so good…science shows that when people look at photos of loved ones, there’s an increase in dopamine (that feel-good drug) in the brain.

So…yea. This is your brain on Tommy.

5. It Never Feels Like You’re Wasting Time With Him

How do you know you love him? Here’s another clue: every moment you spend with your guy feels significant…even if it wouldn’t normally. Maybe in your past life, you wouldn’t have been caught dead staying in on a Friday night and Netflix bingeing with a boyfriend…but now it seems like a fantastic way to cuddle up to the man that you adore.

Even watching him fix his car or play rugby with the boys feels like a good investment of your time. Never a dull moment and all of that.

6. You’re Constantly Curious About Him

Being in love means constantly being curious about your man.

While you went through all the what do you do/tell me about your family/what are your pet peeves conversations early on in dating this guy, you’re still surprised to keep finding out little nuggets about him.

To me, this is the good stuff: all those thousands of little data points that help you really get to know someone you care about.

You find out he’s allergic to clams. That he makes a whimpering sound when he’s having a nightmare. That he’s oddly afraid of cats. That his dream career would be a sushi chef. None of these are very important in the grander scheme of things, but you find them fascinating, and they draw you closer to him.

7. You’re Comfortable With Making Little Sacrifices For Him

If your friends had told you a year ago that you would be waking up at 5 am every Saturday to go for a three-mile hike, you would have said they were insane. Yet here you are, training for a 5K with good ole Tommy.

Or maybe you quit drinking because he can’t drink. Eat vegan because he’s vegan. Whatever the sacrifice you’re making, you’re happy to do it…because you probably love him.

You’re happy to make these little compromises (and he does the same for you) because you know that they’re part of what makes for a happy relationship.

Just a note here: small sacrifices like the examples I gave above are fine, but know where to draw the line. If he’s asking something of you that makes you truly uncomfortable, like lying for him, know that this isn’t love.

No man who loves you would ask you to compromise your integrity for him.

8. You Feel Safe When You’re Around Him

When a man is open and communicative, when he’s loyal and supportive, a woman feels emotionally safe with him. You may have been scarred in the past in a long relationship or even a marriage, so trust and feeling secure are even more important to you now.

Ask yourself: does he make you feel safe, both physically and emotionally? Do you feel like he is your protector, both of your physical wellbeing and your heart? Would he do anything to keep you safe? If so, congrats. You’ve got a good guy on your hands.

9. You Notice Things That You Know He’d Love

When you’re out shopping, do you see and buy things your boyfriend would like?

While you’re at the grocery store, you see the new Peeps Oreos and pick up a pack because your boyfriend loves all things Peep-related. Later that night, you tell him about a concert you saw an ad for online; it’s his favorite band.

It’s like you’re tuned into things that you know he’d appreciate, and it feels kinda awesome.

Again, it’s often not the enormous things that give signs you’re falling in love; it can be the smallest details like these.

10. You Lose Track of Time

One minute it’s Friday evening and you’re headed over to his house to spend the weekend together. You blink, and it’s already Sunday night. Where did time go??

Time flies when you’re in love. It can feel like there’s never enough time to soak up all of his energy, and you’re left wanting more. If only you could clone yourself so that you could both go to work and handle other aspects of your life…and spend 24/7 with him!

11. You Have More Energy

Since you started spending time with this man, you’ve felt powerful and full of energy…like you could conquer any challenge…climb any mountain.

It’s been good for other aspects of your life. Maybe you’re killing it at work, and your boss has given you a pat on the back for all your hard work. You’re working out more, and are in the best shape of your life.

The movie Conspiracy Theory might seem a strange place to find inspiration here, but read this quote:

Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don’t even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you’re in love, you’ll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won’t care, screaming “Geronimo” the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just… whoa, she wrecks me. I’d die for her.

You don’t really have this invincible I-can-do-anything feeling when you’re just in like. There’s something magical that happens when you start to fall in love that just amplifies everything you do. You are more confident. Heck, you might even be smarter. There should be a scientific study on the IQ of people in love!

12. The World Seems Brighter

Being in love makes everything more vivid.

It’s like you upgraded from a 1950s tv to the latest and greatest 4HD tv. Everything is just…tuned up. You notice everything. The birds tweeting in the morning. The vivid colors of a sunrise. Science shows that your senses are amplified when you’re in love, so if everything’s in Technicolor lately, this is another of the signs you’re in love with him. Enjoy it!

If you’re looking for how to know you love him, just pay attention to the world around you and see if it seems more amplified than normal.

13. You Even Love His Faults

He chews with his mouth open. He farts in his sleep. He leaves his underwear in the middle of the floor. Any little quirk that drove you insane with past boyfriends is somehow…cute with this guy.

What gives? Have you lowered your standards??

No, my dear. This is one of the signs you’re in love with him.

You’ve realized on some level that these flaws are so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. That if he treats you well, it doesn’t matter that he leaves the toilet seat up. And accepting your partner’s flaws is an excellent sign of a long and happy relationship together.

14. You Can Talk to Him About ANYTHING

Not that you have many secrets…but there are a few things that you’ve never talked to anyone about. Maybe you were too embarrassed or didn’t have anyone you felt comfortable with sharing these things. But this guy? He’s different. You can tell him absolutely anything. No judgment. Nothing but support.

You’ve opened up to him in a way that frankly surprises you a little, and it feels pretty good.

Stop for a moment and realize how lucky you are to have found someone who you can trust enough to share your deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts with. Not everyone gets that. How do you know you love him? You hold nothing back.

15. You Can’t Concentrate on Anything

A woman in love can’t focus on anything but the object of her affections.

You’re not hungry. You can’t focus at work. When your friends talk to you, you can’t for the life of you focus on what they’re saying. You’ve been bitten by the lovebug, and one of the side effects is the inability to concentrate on anything…other than his handsome face.

It doesn’t matter if you’re 16 or 60. This is a common sign you’re in love with him.

Just remember though: if you put all your attention on him, it may overwhelm him. Likely he was initially attracted to you because of your well-rounded interests and general kick-assedness. Don’t give it all up to focus on the male. Keep on doing all the important things in your life. This lack of focus will eventually lessen.

16. You Relive Your Highlights Reel

As you fall asleep at night, you play a movie in your head. Tonight’s showing might be that romantic walk on the beach you had last weekend…

Or the mind-blowing sex you had last night…

Or the first time you kissed.

Netflix has nothing on the movies in your head. A woman in love often treasures the memories of her man — especially early in the relationship. Just don’t put so much attention on the past that you’re not fully present because there’s a lot of magic that happens in the moment when you fall in love.

17. You Share His Emotions

When he comes home from work, exuberant after an amazing win, you’re filled with delight. When he’s depressed that his dog died, you’re sad too. It seems like whatever he’s feeling, you feel. Could it be love?

When we care deeply about someone, we celebrate their wins and share their losses. It’s part of being a couple. So yes, if you feel like there’s a string tied from his heart to yours, then it very likely is one of the signs you’re falling in love…or are already there.

18. You Think About Introducing Him To Your Family

You’re ready for h from Meet Positives SM Feed https://ift.tt/2HoBVhN via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Meet Positives SM Feed

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travisandersondatingblog · 6 years

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How Do You Know You Love Him: 21 Signs You Have Fallen For Him

How do you know you love him? Pay attention to the signs.

You find yourself singing Whitney Houston’s old gem, How Will I Know, in the shower:

There’s a boy I know, he’s the one I dream of Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above Ooh I lose control, can’t seem to get enough When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love

Okay, that’s super cheesy, but my point is: the question “how do I know if I love him?” is eating at your brain. So allow me to help you get to the bottom of this all-important mystery.

How do you know you love him? The following are signs you’re in love with him, so if any (or all) are true, then you probably do!

1. You Talk About The Future With Him

Next Halloween, we should do a couple’s costume.

Hey, do you wanna take a three-week road trip in the spring?

Our kids would be so damn cute!

Topics like these come up with your boyfriend fairly regularly, and he doesn’t run screaming. Neither do you. Huh.

The thought of a future with this guy is something you’re starting to take for granted as a given, which is a pretty good sign you’re in love with him or are falling in love with him.

2. Everything Reminds You of Him

youtube

You’re eating a peanut butter sandwich: This sandwich reminds me of Tommy. He eats peanut butter.

You put on your favorite green shirt: I wore this three days after my first date with Tommy.

You go out for tacos every Tuesday: Tacos start with the letter T! Just like Tommy!

These examples are a bit ridiculous, but they illustrate a point: if you have Tommy (or whatever your guy’s name is) on the brain 24/7, there’s a good chance you’re in love.

So if every little thing makes you think of your sweetie…yea, it could be love.

3. You Find Yourself Always Talking About Him

Ask your girlfriends how much you talk about your guy.

You’re kinda disgusted with yourself. You’ve become that girl. The girl (woman, really) who talks incessantly about her man.

Tommy and I were at IKEA the other day…

Tommy loved that recipe. I made it for him this weekend.

I’ll ask Tommy what he thinks about that.

4. You Re-Read His Text Messages & Scroll Through His Photos

It’s the weekend and you’re ready to curl up on the couch for a good read. But instead of picking up that memoir that’s gathering dust on the coffee table…you grab your phone.

So…yea. This is your brain on Tommy.

5. It Never Feels Like You’re Wasting Time With Him

Even watching him fix his car or play rugby with the boys feels like a good investment of your time. Never a dull moment and all of that.

6. You’re Constantly Curious About Him

Being in love means constantly being curious about your man.

To me, this is the good stuff: all those thousands of little data points that help you really get to know someone you care about.

7. You’re Comfortable With Making Little Sacrifices For Him

Or maybe you quit drinking because he can’t drink. Eat vegan because he’s vegan. Whatever the sacrifice you’re making, you’re happy to do it…because you probably love him.

You’re happy to make these little compromises (and he does the same for you) because you know that they’re part of what makes for a happy relationship.

No man who loves you would ask you to compromise your integrity for him.

8. You Feel Safe When You’re Around Him

9. You Notice Things That You Know He’d Love

When you’re out shopping, do you see and buy things your boyfriend would like?

It’s like you’re tuned into things that you know he’d appreciate, and it feels kinda awesome.

Again, it’s often not the enormous things that give signs you’re falling in love; it can be the smallest details like these.

10. You Lose Track of Time

One minute it’s Friday evening and you’re headed over to his house to spend the weekend together. You blink, and it’s already Sunday night. Where did time go??

11. You Have More Energy

Since you started spending time with this man, you’ve felt powerful and full of energy…like you could conquer any challenge…climb any mountain.

The movie Conspiracy Theory might seem a strange place to find inspiration here, but read this quote:

12. The World Seems Brighter

Being in love makes everything more vivid.

If you’re looking for how to know you love him, just pay attention to the world around you and see if it seems more amplified than normal.

13. You Even Love His Faults

He chews with his mouth open. He farts in his sleep. He leaves his underwear in the middle of the floor. Any little quirk that drove you insane with past boyfriends is somehow…cute with this guy.

What gives? Have you lowered your standards??

No, my dear. This is one of the signs you’re in love with him.

14. You Can Talk to Him About ANYTHING

You’ve opened up to him in a way that frankly surprises you a little, and it feels pretty good.

15. You Can’t Concentrate on Anything

A woman in love can’t focus on anything but the object of her affections.

It doesn’t matter if you’re 16 or 60. This is a common sign you’re in love with him.

16. You Relive Your Highlights Reel

As you fall asleep at night, you play a movie in your head. Tonight’s showing might be that romantic walk on the beach you had last weekend…

Or the mind-blowing sex you had last night…

Or the first time you kissed.

17. You Share His Emotions

18. You Think About Introducing Him To Your Family

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