#we got robbed out of having chick in the last couple of episodes

[magnumdays]

Magnum PI 3.13 - Cry Murder review

I’m not sure I need to say something about this episode. I mean you all saw it. It was just good. Frankly all of season 3 serves a ‘Atta girl’. You're going above and beyond. And this episode... pure gold!

Seriously I had to think for like 5 minutes for something to put on my 'like less' points because this was fantastic (and that one thing was ‘where my Ferrari? I luv Ferrari, me wanna see rarrri’ uhm yeah, my brain is part fluffy baby mush currently, you have been warned this review might be a tad bit off)! 

Every moment was on point. We got 2 adorable story-lines and a good case. 

Because it’s the least exciting and I’m feeling contrary, let’s talk about the case first. Because this could the start of a beautiful and lucrative friendship...

You see some insurance companies have “recovery specialists” inhouse and some hire PIs for bigger claims / stolen stuff / prove their clients are lying. Insurance companies, as mentioned on the show, also have money. Like lots. (Trust me, I worked as a temp at an insurance company and the money they throw around is ridiculous.)

If the show was smart they could have this lady be regularly brining them cases to do with weird insurance stuff. It could make for some pretty interesting conflict further down the line too because they’re helping the fat cats suddenly rather than the underdogs.

(I’d also like to point out that they actually stopped/ revealed a planed insurance fraud so they should still get paid a chunk for that, different firms have different policies but they should get more than their daily rate + expenses. Just saying.)

Also I want more of the cute insurance chick looking at Magnum all 'he’s fine' and Higgy not liking it. Seriously, if Ethan is going to stick around into season 4 Magnum needs a faux love interest too. 

#wearenotpleased

Even though this episode wasn’t very case focused, what we got was fun and a little twisty and just a good backdrop for the rest of the stuff. Of course they had to throw in a murder but still PI appropriate. I wish they’d do more smaller cases where no one dies or a million dollars is missing (more kind of Burn Notice inspired) where maybe the cops can’t help because the case isn’t ‘serious enough’ but is still ruining the person’s life.

Next up is Magnum getting his finger stuck in the mouse trap, telling Higgy about his pet mouse and then at the ends Juliet giving Magnum a mouse! Roberto the II! Does it get more adorable? IDK.

I love how Higgy is trying. She’s not quite sure how to express herself or how do thing always because she’s so out of practice and probably never had to before (quite the Magnum makes her want to) but she really cares so much even though she’s piss poor at expressing it sometimes. 

Them talking about wanting kids themselves was just... come on! Don’t make me want babies ever after for these two anymore than I already do!  Also two instances of Magnum/Higgy being mistaken for a couple and this lady thinking the baby is theirs? If season 7 don’t end with these idiots married and expecting a baby I will seriously strangle someone. 

 Other golden nuggets in this episode

Juliet singing and playing peekaboo on the phone.

Hiapo’s mom being “they seem like a really nice couple”

(”Not a couple?” #shook.)

TC + Rick being the cutest with the baby! Rick making a baby carrier thing from a backpack? It was just so perfect! As good as shopping cart for a stroller! 

Magnum and Juliet actually being out of breath after running (!!) 

(because authentic! But must have been totally weird to film because how do you fake being out of breath? Run a block before each shoot?)

and the heart-eyes. So many heart-eye moments this episode.

The whole gang saying they want to keep being part of Hiapo's life and then more heart-eyes! 

I really do hope we get to see Hiapo in the next season, even just for a minute. Same with Roberto the Mouse. But they have been a lot better with continuity and bringing things back so maybe!

Yeah. This was possibly one of my favorite episodes of late. It was also on my wish list for season 3 (a baby/kid episode)!

Only minus I got for today is the fact that title is a little lackluster and I missed the Ferrari (but the Porsche is nice too!). I'd love to have a scene of Magnum trying to put the baby seat in the Ferrari and Higgy being all. "That's not going to work." (fic idea...)

Also next week promo is kind of vague and the summary (“A psychic hires Magnum and Higgins to prevent a murder she claims to have foreseen... ....and Higgins struggles with whether or not to tell Ethan the truth about her past”) makes me think we’ll get at scene or two with Ethan but let’s pray we’ll get mostly our faves bickering about psychics, how predicting the future is impossible and them talking about whether she should or not tell Ethan about her spy life! 

I wonder if she really will, because next week is the second to last of the episode (OMG only 2 more episodes of Magnum this season? How will I survive?). If she is supposed to ride off into the sunset with Ethan (or start to and then change her mind?) they can’t really have him be all that upset about it? Not that I think he would but maybe it would throw him for a bit of a curve ball since I figure Richard would be one of the things she told him about... 

Also wondering how it will come up? I’m picturing them walking along a dark street after a nice dinner and a guy tries to rob them (at gun point) and Higgy does a ninja move and takes his gun and is all “run along now before I shoot you” while Ethan does a Surprised Pikachu face. Then Magnum calls with a case and she’s like “Um, gotta go, we’ll talk about this later alright?” #IGotMyPrioritiesStraight

Last thing, bummer about the MacGyver cancelation. Selfishly (because while I like MacGyver, Magnum is my baby) I’m thinking this ups the odds of Magnum getting season 4 (and it does look kind of hopeful from what I was seeing on insta/twitter from someone higher ups, right?) I still signed the petition for season 6 for MacGyver because they deserve at least a last half season to wrap it up nicely!

#magnum pi #miggy #magnum pi 3.13 #cry murder #pure gold #favorite episode #Thomas Magnum #Juliet higgins X Thomas Magnum #baby #juliet higgins #the baby episode

[allthevmff]

Find Afrocurl’s work // AO3 // LJ  interview from vmfictitious // originally posted Mar. 20th, 2011

How did you get into Veronica Mars fandom?

Somewhere in the middle of S2, a friend of mine from high school started to talk about this show and how much I’d like it. At the general description of a high school detective, I borrowed her S1 DVDs and devoured the show in three days.  After that I started to discover fandom, mostly because I used Inigo’s transcripts to keep myself up with what the show was doing before I could watch live.

Shortly after starting the show, I had this job where I spent too much time in an office and was easily bored. I used a bunch of downtime to read fic and post in a message board (FanForum for anyone curious.)  When that job ended (thankfully) I had all of this spare time and just sort of fell into writing.

Were you an experienced writer when you started writing for VM?  If so, what kind of writing had you done, and/or what fandoms had you written for?   If not, was it really intimidating to post your first story?

I’m a little fuzzy on these details right now, but I wasn’t that experienced when I started writing in VM. I think I had a story or two written in The OC before I posted here, but I had some great support from a few friends (sarah_p //  Sarah's Crack ) for one was a big support) when I did post my first story.

What was it about Veronica Mars that interested you?  Why did you feel compelled to write for this particular show?

I really fell for the characters when I started to watch. Veronica was such a compelling character, and as I kept watching I fell more in love with Logan, too. I felt compelled in that post-S2 summer to see the relationship between Logan and Veronica explored (as so many other people did.)

Are you creative in other media for fandom (vidding, icons, etc.)?

I pick up making icons here and there, but I don’t think I have the same skill as many other people do. It’s a different creative medium, and one that I think stretches a different part of my brain.

What was the best moment for you, in fandom?  (Not necessarily a moment in the show, but fandom itself.)

I think it was the moment when I found myself in a position to go to all of these events around LA and San Diego. I found that people around LJ were interested as a result because there was something for people to enjoy that I had been able to capture.

If you had a magic wand, and could change VM fandom in any way, past or present, what would you do?

I wish S3 hadn’t been so divisive—it’s spoiled so many people on the show, and when you still love parts of it, but not all of it, it’s hard to stay positive around other people.

Of your accomplishments in fandom/cyberspace, which are you most proud of?

Weirdly, I think it’s little things I’ve done that bring a smile to my face. Sharing my time with the cast with others in any way. That’s not just the picspams when I went to an event, but these moments where I could get autographs or phone calls to other people. At different times, I’ve been able to make a friend’s birthday just a little brighter with a message from the cast (Sarah and another friend M.)

What’s your favorite VM episode and why?

I go back and forth on this answer all of the time, but I think it’s Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough. In part because it was the first episode I remember watching live, and also because I’m a sucker for banter between Logan and Veronica. That whole episode is filled with it, even if they aren’t together as a couple.

What’s your least favorite episode and why?

Blast from the Past—I just can’t get behind the mystery of the week, or what Jackie does to Veronica as a way to keep Wallace to herself.

How do you feel about season 3?

I’m a mixed bag on the subject. I think that the first arc has promise, though it didn’t do much to satisfy my need for Logan and Veronica in a healthy relationship. I’m not a fan of how Piz was introduced, or what his purpose was in the long run.

The Dean O’Dell arc lacks heart (and the Hearst rapist does too when I look at it), and the last five are just all over the place.

In total, I haven’t brought myself to rewatch the whole season since it aired, but I made a promise to myself at some point I would (I plan to live-blog all of the episodes, but I only managed to finish the first three.)

If you met Rob Thomas, what would you say to him?  (Assume that you have taken magical drugs that enable you to not be tongue-tied and you can completely speak your mind.)

I briefly met him and talked to him during season three, but if I could have a longer conversation, I’d really want to understand what his motives were for Logan and Veronica in that season. It seemed that the show always had Logan and Veronica together off screen so that the audience had no real reason to understand those later break-ups.

If you could talk to the writing staff, what question(s) would you have for them?

I’m always interested in some of the specifics of the room—are there any writers who cater to writing for certain characters? What characters do you like to write more than others? I think I’m just interested in their process more than anything else.

Writing

Which story of yours is your favorite, and why?

I’m really a fan of “The Black Hole” because I think it was a different sort of writing exercise for me. I also think I was really into the moment when I wrote it, and it shows. I can’t remember how long it took me to write, but I think it was a pretty quick write once I had the idea solidified in my head.

Are there any stories of yours that are (to your surprise) fan favorites?

Not really a surprise, but I love the reaction I had to Rational Thought. My Piz issues just got one big escape in that piece and everyone who read it had a similar reaction.

Do you (or did you at first) feel uncomfortable posting R or NC17 rated stories?

I think I was a bit apprehensive the first time (especially since it was my first fic in the fandom), but as I’ve written more and more of those fics, I’m more comfortable with the ways of writing it. I also love all of my betas who help me through the mechanics of writing it.

If you could start over and rewrite any of your stories (assume unlimited time and you would be paid for your efforts, because this is a fantasy), which story would you choose, and what changes would you make?

I’m not proud of Compulsion as it was written in the end, so I’d work there and really craft the narrative more than it is now. It’s not that it’s not beta-ed, but that it wasn’t really planned or structured beyond what is written. I think there was promise in the beginning and it floundered.

Do you write for any other fandoms?

I write here and there in a few other fandoms, but most of my work is in VM.  Some of the other shows are harder to get a feel for, so much that I don’t know if I have the character voices down.

Do you write any original works, and if so, can we see any of them?  Have you ever taken any writing classes?  Have you ever published anything? Won any competitions?

I wrote a few pieces of original fic, which are at my writing community. I haven’t been one to take a writing course, but in high school I had an award-winning poem at the local county fair.

That piece, I wrote was in my junior year of high school, spring semester (so let’s call is March 2000.) We had to write an emulation of Langston Hughes’s “I Am”, and I went all out—confused kid to the max. My teacher ate most of it up, and had me submit it to the Fair.  It went on to win the best poem for high schoolers, the best high school piece and Best in Show for all student work. I have three lovely ribbons, a paper weight to show for it.

What other VM author influenced you the most?  Do you have a favorite VM story (by another author)?

I spent most of my time reading things from Loveathons and Fic From Mars when I was reading, so I guess any of those authors. I really love dark_roast’s ( dark_roast) style. I think mutiousmuse and truemyth (TrueMyth) each have some amazing pieces, too. What’s great about being part of fandom is learning how much else you have in common with authors you love. I’m still friends with Musey and Truemyth after I met them at Comic Con in 2006.

Overall, I think my favorite story is Finite Erasure (TW), which puts me in the camp of loving angst. I worked with Trixx (Trixx) as she wrote it and I think I fell for the story she was telling and how much it hurt along the way.

What fanfic do you wish you’d had the idea for and written yourself?

If I had a mind for her particular brand of crazy, I’d have love to have written One True Pair, because the creativity and perspective amaze me.

Who are your favorite traditional authors?  Do you have a favorite book or series?

I love Oscar Wilde’s wit; I love Fitzgerald’s use of flawed characters. When I was in college I became a huge fan of Isaac Bashevis Singer. Sadly I’m not a huge book fan, though I do love words and compelling stories. Persuasion is one of my favorite stories, along with The Alchemist. I found myself more easily distracted by television as a kid and when I do get a book, I tend to read some fluffy chick-lit.

 Getting to Know You

To which character in VM do you feel you are the most similar, or what situation in VM reminds you of your own life?

Even though I don’t write her enough, I feel like I’m a slightly less tech-savvy version of Mac. I wasn’t one to have boyfriends in high school, and I think that just influences my outlook now.

Share a fun memory with us, something related to fandom.

This moment at an event in San Diego where my friends and I spent a good five minutes trying to remember the Eleanor Roosevelt quote from Logan’s voicemail.

Or the time I had Jason write a message to my journal without him really knowing where it was going.

Dog person, cat person, neither or both?

Cat person! My cat Auric loves everyone he meets, and wants to keep me from my computer when I leave it open in his presence. He really loves to sit on my keyboard when I’m not around.

What was the happiest day in your life (that you can share with us)?

December 12, 2000—the day I got into college. I’m pretty lame most of the time.

The apocalypse is on us.  You’ve got five minutes to gather your stuff before you flee (assume that your loved ones are already safe).  What do you take?

This is going to be pretty typical, but my laptop, and external hard drives, so I’m not without my pictures. Maybe a few of my autographs and old-school photos too.

What don’t we know about you, that we should know?

I’m not nearly as interesting as I sound on the internet. ;)

 The Nuts and Bolts of Writing

Do you consider yourself a stickler for grammar, or do you prefer a more casual approach?  Specifically, serial comma: for or against?

I’m weirdly a stickler for grammar when I’m not the one writing. I’m usually for the serial comma, which I blame on years of it being grilled into my head from school.

What grammar issue do you constantly have to struggle with?

 Spelling—I’m horrible at it most of the time.

 Do you have any writing reference books you can’t live without?

 I have a few copies of writing guides tucked away in my garage, but I don’t regularly look at them when I’m writing.

Are you a plotter or a “pantser”? (Do you outline your stories or do you write “by the seat of your pants”?)

It really depends on the story. I have some basic idea of a fic when I start to write it, but there are times when I only know that general outline and other times when I have a better plan.

There’s one story that’s been buried on my computer that’s plotted more than anything else I write. There are notes on how each chapter should work, but I only did that because it was a true multi-chapter fic.

My other fics that have turned into WIPs are not as plotted as they should be.

 What’s your favorite point-of-view to write?

 I love third-person more than anything else. It gives you the flexibility to talk about more than one person in the context of the story.

What type of writing is your favorite to write (dialogue, plot, action, interior monologue, description, sex scene, etc.)?  Your least favorite?

Dialogue—no questions. I love banter as much as anyone else.

My least favorite—probably sex scenes. They’re awkward to figure out, positions, how clinical but not too clinical.

Do you listen to music while you write?  Do you listen to different music depending on what you’re writing?

I do, unless I’m watching TV. My music doesn’t change depending on what I write, though maybe it should. My poor iTunes has been known to be demonic when I read fic, though it doesn’t do that as often when I’m writing.

What inspires you to write?

 I like motivational moments that can drive a point home—so I tend to write shorter pieces that are about emotions instead of plot driven.

What blocks you from writing?

Lack of time. The inability to express what I’m looking for.

 Specifically for Afrocurl!

What surprised you the most about Jason Dohring in person (that you can share with us)?

He’s a genuinely sweet person who adores his fans and what they do for him. I’d never had too many experiences with actors before I met him and he set the stage for being kind to fans.

How is he like Logan?  How is he not like Logan?  Did he do anything that freaked you out after watching him on TV so much?

I think he has Logan’s physical ticks—hair rakes and the like.

 He’s not as precise with language as Logan. In person he’s sort of like any other California guy I’ve met.

Which story of yours would it appall you the most to find out that Jason had read?

The Weevil and Logan story. I think he’d blush and be shocked at the subject more than anything.

Which of your celebrity encounters thrilled you to death, but the rest of world could care less?

The girl who loves politics was thrilled by meeting Justice Scalia at my college. Though I’m sure I’m the only one who can appreciate it now.

We know you do a lot for charities.  Do you have anything coming up that we should know about, that you’d like us to support?

Since Sweet Charity has ended, I haven’t done much work for charity recently. I’ve been a little too busy with the rest of life to help out with the Queensland floods and the like.

What’s your dream job?

Working at a high school teaching either Government or US History, maybe AP if that’s an option.

Your life seems to be going through a lot of changes right now.  How do you see yourself ten years from now?...family, job, hobbies, etc., anything you want to share with us.

I’d love to have a stable job, with friends and family nearby for support. I can’t hope for much else than that right now.

 Find Afrocurl’s work // AO3 // LJ

Source: X

reposted from vmfictitious // originally published on Mar. 20th, 2011

#vm fanfic #veronica mars fanfic #veronica mars fanfiction #writer wednesday #writerwednesday #author interview #authorinterview #the more things change

[amandajoyce118]

Friday Five: Let’s All Take A Trip To Neptune

With the surprise fourth season of Veronica Mars coming to Hulu this month, and having a couple of freelance pieces related to the show, I’ve been rewatching the first three seasons. (They’re all available on Hulu and season four drops at the end of the month, so you can binge before the new episodes are available.) As a result of this rewatch, I thought I’d bring you five things I’ve decided while reminiscing about life in the fictional Neptune, California.

Do I need to warn you that there are spoilers for a show that premiered on television 15 years ago? Fine, there are spoilers if you’ve never seen an episode of the show. 

Five: Paris Hilton Should Have Hung Around Longer

Okay, this one is a surprise admission from me, I’ll admit. Paris Hilton is not the best actress, but she was everywhere in early 2000s television, including a guest star spot in season one of the show. She played the girlfriend of Logan Echolls, and her part didn’t require her to do much more than flirt with cute guys and act snobbish toward other people. She only appeared in one episode. I actually think her arc could have gone for a couple more episodes to foreshadow the connection between Lilly and Weevil the show addresses later. She cheats on Logan with a member of Weevil’s biker gang, despite being an 09er. That same gang member happens to be Weevil’s cousin, and he happens to be committing credit card fraud using their grandmother’s name to take her on dates. That’s the standalone mystery of the episode. I would have actually been interested to see that play out a bit more over time - with Weevil increasingly reminded of his time with Lilly and Veronica more suspicious.

Four: The Show Should Have Started Younger

Maybe Rob Thomas was afraid of making the characters too young? I don’t know. I just think starting the series during Veronica’s junior year of high school meant networks aiming their programming at teens weren’t going to expect the show to go beyond two seasons. That’s why season three, in college, was the last. People say it got poor ratings, but on average, the show retained all of its viewers from the pilot. It average. 2.5 million views every season. Yeah, that’s low during a time when we didn’t have streaming options and most people didn’t understand DVR, but it aired on UPN and then the CW, two networks that were not rating powerhouses. If the show had started just a bit younger, the first three seasons could have been high school, and viewers might have been hooked for a bit longer.

Three: Tessa Thompson And Alona Tal Were Robbed

Tessa Thompson joined the series in season two. Yes, Valkyrie once lived in Neptune and dated Veronica’s BFF. This is one of the earliest things I remember seeing Tessa Thompson in, and she was so great in the role. It’s disappointing to me that they never brought her character back or had anyone keep in contact with her after she moved to New York to help her mom and raise her son. I also remember reading a while back that the actress wasn’t entirely comfortable with her role as Jackie because when Jackie was “bad” early in the season, they kept her natural hair, but when she was “redeemed” later, they had her straighten her hair. Yikes. I get that discomfort. Jackie was such a fun character and someone who could match wits with Veronica. I wish Veronica hadn’t wasted so much time being suspicious of her and befriended her sooner. Maybe then fans would have embraced the character sooner as well. 

Did you know that Alona Tal was actually next in line to play Veronica Mars if Kristen Bell had turned down the role? The role of Meg Manning was created for her so she could recur. She was the one nice girl at Neptune High in season two - until she started dating Veronica’s ex, and then, suddenly, she and Veronica had this Duncan shaped wedge between them. And then, in season two, they got rid of her by sticking her in a hospital room for half the season and killing her off. I mean… she was one of your best assets. If you had given her more to do, Meg would have been a bigger fan favorite. I would have loved to see how the writers reconciled someone as “good” as Meg helping Veronica’s friend group do bad things to solve mysteries.

Two: Why Was The Baby Switch Not A Bigger Story?

This is a storyline from season one that has a single episode for it, and then… it’s like it never happened. Mac, computer whiz and future Veronica Mars ally, asks Veronica to dig up some dirt on her parents. She’s never felt like she fit into her family, so she’s curious to see what Veronica finds out since Veronica has been making $50 a pop telling people their parents’ high school secrets. What Veronica finds out is that Mac, social outsider, was actually switched at birth with Madison Sinclair, one of the most popular (and privileged) girls in school. The hospital didn’t admit the wrong doing until the girls were four, and they awarded each family a million dollars for the trouble, but the families kept the kids they had instead of switching back. After all, how do you tell a four-year-old they went home with the wrong parents? Not easily.

The point is, it’s clear from the episode where Mac finds out that Mrs. Sinclair knows Mac knows the truth. When Mac shows up at Madison’s house to pick up the purse she conveniently left there during a party, it’s obvious. The woman then sits down the street from Mac’s house right before Mac leaves on a family camping trip, and the two share a moment. But it’s never talked about again. It’s clear that Mac wants to know her birth family - which includes a little sister who is just as interested in nerdy things as she is. So, why not make it a running subplot? Especially since Mac gradually had a larger and larger role in the show.

One: Logan Has One Of The Biggest Character Turns In TV

I was never obsessed with the Logan and Veronica dynamic. I tuned into the show for the mysteries. When they got together, I did think it added an interesting layer to the show, but I wasn’t broken hearted when she dated Duncan again, or Piz for that matter. But going back and starting the series from the beginning and being reminded of what a tool Logan is at the start is eye opening. I always talk about how Pacey (of Dawson’s Creek) has the best arc on television because of how much he grows over the course of the series, but Logan’s up there too. His character turn from rich bad boy to momma’s boy to true friend to epic love story is something to see. It’s amazing that the guy that celebrated when Veronica got arrested in season one, the guy who based her car’s headlights in when she got in trouble, becomes the love of her life just a short time later. Yeah, we can put his early actions in the show down to his pain - he’s mad at Veronica for telling Lilly he kissed a girl at a party, he’s mad that he wasn’t there to help Lilly when she was murdered, he blames Veronica for not giving him the chance to be there for her, he’s angry that his father’s a dick who beats him and cheats on his mom, he’s protective of his mother and her unhappiness, and he just wants to numb all of that pain by having a good time and this blonde chick always seems to get in the way of that. It’s easy to understand his pain in hindsight, but as it happens, you’d never think he’d one day give one of the best drunken speeches on television about love.

That’s it for this week. Now, go binge watch some Veronica Mars.

#veronica mars #tessa thompson #alona tal #pari hilton #friday five

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 2

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last week, you already know that STRANGER THINGS SEASON 2 DROPPED AND OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!1 It’s been a week and somehow the internet hasn’t imploded over this show so I guess it’s time to talk about the wigs. As with Twin Peaks, I’ll be reviewing each episode as I watch them and adjusting whether the season as a whole wurqs. Let’s get demogorg-going! 

CHAPTER ONE : MADMAX

The Duffer Brothers live and breathe 80s nostalgia (obvs) so we open with a rando car chase in Pittsburgh because THE 80S (if the Duffer Bros really wanted to make this 80s accurate, it should have been Detroit or Chicago - THE DEMOGORGON IS IN THE DETAILS, isn’t it?) Anyway, some rando punk burglars are staging a getaway - with the help of some chick who is basically an older, more ethnic Elle. And she’s got a #008 tattooed on her arm. DUN DUN DUN.

Back in Hawkins, it’s a year after Will and Barb (RIP) got trapped in the Upside Down and everyone is doing JUST GREAT AND DON’T HAVE PTSD LET’S JUST LISTEN TO DEVO THANKYOUVERYMUCH. Oh and go to the arcade, where we meet our wiggiest non-wig in this dude eating cheetos and creepily demanding sister dates from Mike. 

We also meet Winona Ryder’s new boyfriend, RUDY RUETTIGER (aka Sean Astin)! No wig, but dang HE LOVES MR. MOM AS MUCH AS ME. YES!

Speaking of Winona Ryder, girlfriend got a MUCH better wig than last season. I still don’t know why she needs to wear a wig at all, but I mean…sure? Clearly the wig budget is bigger than last season (if they can afford to license every song of the 80s to play during the episode, they can throw a few bucks at Joyce Byer’s mane, so amen). 

Over at the high school, Nancy Wheeler got herself a haircut! She is clearly trying to channel some Jennifer Grey action but much like her body, this hair has no body (get this girl and this hair a sandwich). 

Just sayin’…she should have had more of that KFC. Joe Keery’s epic hair remains flawless. 

We are also introduced to the major wig of this episode (and likely, this season) in the form of a mulletted new bad boy, BILLY. I love that his name is Billy in a clear homage to Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire…but only time will tell if he can wail on a saxophone. This wig is…fine? It obviously looks like a wig so already that is a negative. Also I’m guessing everything about this guy is a negative.

Meanwhile, Nancy and Mike’s mom got herself a new ‘do! Welcome to the 80s, GIRLFRIEND! Bye bye Farrah waves, hello BANGS! Mama like. Damn fine wig. Still, why are you voting for Reagan (but of COURSE you are). BOO. #GeraldineFerraro4Ever

Meanwhile, Elle lives! But of course she does. And Millie Bobby Brown got herself a PERM just as the 80s intended. 

And she’s living with Sheriff Hopper who took time out of his busy schedule of looking at “poisoned” pumpkins (which is clearly a job for Moana, duh) to take care of Elle. He got hisself a daughter and she got herself a dad! SOBBING.

CHAPTER TWO : TRICK OR TREAT, FREAK

It’s Halloweeeen and of course our favorite foursome dressed up as the Ghostbusters (and NO ONE WANTS TO BE WINSTON). Sadly, they go to the lamest school ever where no one else dresses up for Halloween. BOO indeed!

Will is still seeing some pretty effed up Upside Down visions but more scary: this poor kid had to have a bowl cut in the show and in life! This is the ultimate commitment to your art! Pure terror!

Rudy Reuttiger continues to be our favorite dad, fully committing to vampire hair and teeth and then slow dancing with Winona Ryder to “Islands in the Stream.” DREAMBOAT.

Meanwhile, Elle is getting cabin fever from watching Susan Lucci on TV all day and her hair is looking bigger and curlier than ever! Still, sorry you couldn’t go trick or treating, gurl.

Over at the most 80s teen Halloween party ever, new badboy Billy is suddenly a popular beer chugging sweaty bohunk (who listens to Ted Nugent - yep, this guy is the worst!) Also of course his new pal is dressed as the bad guy from The Karate Kid. 80s VILLAINS CONVERGE! 

 Meanwhile, Will’s older brother, a so-called purveyor of good musical taste, thinks this chick CLEARLY DRESSED AS SIOUXIE SIOUX is a member of KISS! BLASPHEME! YOU ARE DEAD TO US, JONATHAN!

Oh and Steve and Nancy OBVIOUSLY had a couple’s costume, and one of the most confusing ones EVER. It was confirmed to me later that they were Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay from Risky Business (and not Johnny and June Carter Cash as I had suspected)…but if that is true this costume is AN EPIC FAILURE. Why isn’t Steve just wearing a white shirt and no pants? Why is Nancy’s hair all bouffanted out like June Carter Cash? WHY ISN’T SHE WEARING A BLONDE WIG?!?! WIG FAILURE x100000000. BOO ON YOUR HORRIBLE ATTEMPT AT A POP CULTURAL HALLOWEEN PARTY, DUFFER BROTHERS! THE DEMOGORGON IS IN THE DETAILS! BOO ON YOU!

CHAPTER THREE: THE POLLYWOG

Dustin found a new friend in a trashcan (where all the best friends come from!) and quickly decided that he has discovered a new species which DEFINITELY WON’T MESS ANYTHING UP. Kids, amiright?

Meanwhile, it should be mentioned that Dustin’s mom is played by Netflix MVP Catherine Curtain (our favorite former guard from OITNB). This lady loves cats as much as I do and knows her way around a good Midwest mom wig. Amen.

This episode also gives us some flashbacks to explain how Elle came to live with Hopper. And we get some flashback wigs! As with all men’s wigs, this one sucks. The texture is a nightmare and the back flips up with little assist from this shearling coat.

Elle is definitely getting cabin fever and busts out to see Mike, which she does in the very 5 minutes he happens to be talking to Max (isn’t it always the way?) then totally makes Max ruin her ollie in a jealous rage and hightails it out of there. We’ve all been there, gurl.

Speaking of Max, her awful brother Billy makes some mention of her not actually being his sister . Oh god. HES NOT HER DAD, RIGHT? UGH. Also he continues his reign as a new sweaty bohunk always as he plays mullet basketball with Steve (and of COURSE he’s ‘skins’ not shirts. UGH). Also if you’re gonna be an 80s villain, I guess you should be a pro-sports 80′s villain, right? The demogorgon is in the details (I have a quota to say this once during every episode recap).

Meanwhile, through the power of 80s home video consumerism, Winona Ryder and her slightly better season 2 wig realize that Will’s effed up Upside Down visions might be for reals (thanks, wax paper!) Oh, and thanks for the terrible advice to stand up to demogorgons, RUDY REUTIGGER.

CHAPTER FOUR: WILL THE WISE

Whilst trying to stand his ground against demogorgons, Will gets possessed by one (again, way to go, RUDY!) Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig got a wurqout trying to figure out what the eff is going on with suddenly coldblooded Will and his effed up vine illustrations.

Meanwhile, Nancy and her Jennifer Grey minus the body perm and Jonathan who apparently listens to the Clash (ugh) have staged a stakeout in the most effed up public park ever and it totally worked - bitches got hauled away to Hawkins Labs immediately! There, they totally got Paul Reiser on TAPE saying some shady shit. Side note: is this show just a big commercial for RadioShack?

Back at the high school, apparently the only class is SKINS VS SHIRTS and Billy is king! His horrible mullet wig got a shower which did nothing for it but did lead to some pretty fabulous homoerotic dialogue. Ooh la la. As always, the demogorgon’s in the details.

Billy’s dried off coif looks HORRIBLE IN BACKLIGHTING - major 80s hair fail. This wig blows. Also, NICE CANADIAN TUXEDO.

Oh and Billy is a complete racist who likes to control everything his sister (?) does. Continuing in the long tradition of 80s villains who are just evil for the sake of being evil, Billy joins their lexicon. What are his motivations? WHO KNOWS?! HE’S JUST LIVIN TO BE AN ASSHOLE. Similarly, I would totally approve of this dude playing the James Spader role in a remake of Pretty in Pink. ALSO I TAKE IT BACK: NEVER REMAKE PRETTY IN PINK, PLEASE. 

In the end, Elle finds the secret file about her actual family and teleports to see her mama (SOBBING). And, as predicted, that pollywog Dustin found turns out to be a mini demogorgon who eats his cat. (DOUBLE SOBBING). I know y’all are still mourning Barb, but the death of Mews the cat might be the worst thing to ever happen on this show. RIP.

CHAPTER FIVE: DIG DUG

After Mew the cat’s tragic demise (known only to Dustin at this point), his mom continues her frenzied search for her beloved feline and her wig is as frazzled as she is. Still, Dustin’s mom is officially my favorite mom on this show not only because of her kitty love, but because she has a damn Mondale/Ferraro sign in her front lawn (and is apparently the only Hawkins resident not voting for Reagan). The demogorgon is as always in the details. #GeraldineFerraro4Ever 

Speaking of demogorgons, note to self: don’t go investigating them in a creepy vine/tunnel by yourself because you’ll probably end up being trapped there alone.

Great work, Hooper. 

Luckily Will’s art therapy home installation is about to get the cartographical analysis it needs from Rudy Reuttiger who is back in our good graces after his abysmally bad demogorgon advice. 

Winona’s season 2 wig remains shook but hopeful.

There remains to be no hope for Billy’s mullet wig, which took a brief break from skins vs shirts to drive his sister (?) to the arcade where Lucas gave her the 411 on Hawkins’ demogorgon problem. 

Speaking of truth quests, Nancy and her no-body perm is on one with the help of Jonathan and apparently their little road trip is so long that they had to spend the night in a hotel for the sole purpose of having this awkward “we’re not gonna do it” scene. Just drive through the night! You’re teenagers! 

Speaking of road trips, Elle found her mama! Buuut her mama remains to be a catatonic shell of her former self as does her hair. 

I guess if you’re catatonic, hair is the least of your problems, but this coif definitely needs some self-care. 

We do get some flashback wig action, and apparently even after having her child stolen away during a Twilight Sleep delivery, Terry Ives was looking pretty fierce in the 70s! 

Her sister, Becky, has a much bigger perm than last season and also a much bigger creepy factor. She doesn’t really question Elle’s sudden appearance or the faulty electrical work in her house, or Elle’s Poltergeist TV static communication skills. Maybe she’s just super trusting…or there is a Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? scenario afoot…

CHAPTER SIX : THE SPY

Good news: with the help of Rudy Reuttiger, Hopper got saved from the demogorgon tunnel! Bad news: Will is still possessed/his insides are burning/he has selective memory loss/he might be dying imminently. And Winona’s season 2 wig is PISSED ABOUT IT. She goes into full on Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment mode and demands Hawkins Labs fix her son. Hey, you break it, you buy it. 

Meanwhile, Nancy and Jonathan’s super unsexy roadtrip suddenly gets sexy with the help of….a rando crazy wall journalist, and ton of underage vodka drinking, and a bunker with a french-doored guest room. Beyond the inappropriateness of serving copious amounts of booze to teenagers, this creep/amateur Francis Ford Coppola impersonator also fully pimps out his pad for late-night teenage sexcapades. And the following morning has the nerve to ask Jonathan “how was the pull-out?” THIS LINE IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN ON THE SHOW. YUCK.

Meanwhile, Dustin has gone code red with the disappearance of his now huge pet demogorgon and the only person at his disposal to help is: Steve?!?! Sure. This is bromance is actually the perfect antidote to any Nancy/Jonathan romance grossness. Not only should these guys be bffff, but Steve shares his hair secrets with Dustin and they include Farrah Fawcett hairspray. The demogorgon is always in the details and this one is pure happiness. Never change, you guys and #TeamSteve ALL THE WAY.

Lucas finally gets the code red message and hightails it over to Max’s house for help. Max’s house is basically an extended weight gym for Billy who is pumping iron while blasting Ratt with no adult supervision in sight. ALL 80S VILLIAN STEREOTYPES CONVERGE. Also Billy’s mullet wig is getting sweatier and curlier by the episode but not any better as a wig. However, this week we get a glimpse of one dangly earring which confirms his homage to Billy in St. Elmo’s Fire. We still need for him to wail on a saxophone and make jokes about Mare Winningham’s underwear for the homage to be complete, however. Oh also, Max’s big family secret is: her parents are divorced! DUN DUN DUN. 

Anyway, back at the old junkyard, Dustin, Steve, Max and Lucas spread around a ton of raw meat and gasoline and wait and see what happens (WHAT A PLAN!) Steve, the most popular guy in high school until that sweaty bohunk Billy showed up, seems unfazed by hanging out with two nerdy middle school guys and a “random girl” but does get a little too cocky when he breaks out of the bus to confront the demogorgons hisself. Also I’m pretty sure the Duffer Bros are trying to turn Steve into Michael J. Fox this season because he’s definitely wearing the same Nike shoes he does in Back to the Future and also OF COURSE THEY ARE.  Also between Steve’s nail bat and Negan’s barbed wire bat on The Walking Dead, baseball is officially dead to me.

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE LOST SISTER

Our girl Elle who is now going by her birth name, Jane, explains to her weird Aunt Becky what she saw in her Poltergeist shapeshift into her mama’s subconscious and while weird Aunt Becky finally decides to call someone about the rando tween that showed up at her house, Elle/Jane stole some dough and booked it out of there in search of her “sister”, another stolen girl who was experimented on at Hawkins Lab. Cue your least favorite Bon Jovi song and some POV shots of Chicago at night and suddenly we’re in every 80s teen movie ever shot in a city (the city was always Chicago).

Just beyond that building from Adventures in Babysitting and some trashcan fires (the demogorgon is always in the details) she is reunited with her “sister” Kali who you might remember from Chapter One of this season and her gang of misfit PUNKS!!!!!!!! 

Basically these randos are every stereotypical punk who was featured in 5 seconds-50 minutes of any 80s teen movie. White chick with a pseudo Cyndi Lauper ‘do, oversized bow and faux prep school look: CHECK! Kinda angry black chick still rockin’ a power ‘fro and 70s military duds: CHECK! Super angry white dude with an x-treme dyed mohawk, face piercings, dog collar, and a switchblade: CHECK! Looks angry black dude in black bomber coat described as a “teddy bear”: CHECK! Ethnic chick with tons of black eyeliner, asymmetrical half-shaved hair wearing an oversized coat, combat boots and fingerless gloves: CHECKCHECKCHECK! This is a perfect assemblage of PUNKS that would fit in perfectly at the most 80s punk party EVER. The Duffers outdid themselves here. As for wig quality? I mean….it’s about as good as the hair in that punk party link so I’ll give it an amen.

But what is the deal with these PUNKS anyway? Turns out that they’re not just stealin’ stuff to buy hair products and living in a cool warehouse that could easily double for the digs on any season of Real World. Led by Kali, they track down and murder former employees of Hawkins Lab (and also steal stuff - hair products ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!) Kali helps Elle/Jane tap into her rage so that she can move stuff and whatever. Here, Elle/Jane totally moved a big train for no reason! Way to go?

Most importantly, these PUNKS give Elle/Jane a PUNK MAKEOVER! Thanks to a gallon of black eyeliner and hair gel, a pop-collared oversized coat, french-cuffed jeans and white kicks,  she magically transforms into Dave Vanian (lead singer for The Damned duh!) While she could easily use her newfound LEWK to front a cool band, she instead leads the PUNKS to one of the former labworker’s houses. 

There, the sisters in their cool duds debate whether to let this dude live or die (Elle/Jane says nope after discovering the dude has some kids). And honestly, maybe y’all should just…go start a band instead? In the end, the cops bust in on the PUNKS’ digs and Elle/Jane buses it back to Hawkins.

The internet super hated this episode for a number of reasons: it’s pointless, it feels like one of those episodes where a popular show tries to incubate a spin-off of new characters (never to be seen again!), Elle/Jane is helped by her cool ethnic sister only to leave her behind, thus fulfilling the “magical negro” trope, her sister also helps her tap into her anger to better fuel her skills only to abandon them when it counts so all in all…it’s pointless. These are all valid points and I get it but I still liked this episode because any opportunity to enjoy silly 80s PUNK stereotypes is an hour well lived. 

EPISODE EIGHT: THE MIND FLAYER

Back in Hawkins, the lab is undergoing a teeny weeny bit of trouble ever since Will’s shadow monster tricked everyone into letting all the demogorgons loose and basically everyone is maybe about to die. Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig is NOT ABOUT TO LET THAT HAPPEN so just like FIGURE IT OUT, PAUL REISER.

Paul Reiser does NOT really figure it out but Rudy Reuttiger is ON IT because he knows basic (in the computer sense that is). Pretty soon Rudy is realizing that admitting you know basic is like admitting you can type - DON’T DO IT OR YOU WILL PROBABLY BE KILLED BY A DEMOGORGON. 

Bob is absolutely killed by a demogorgon (after saving everyone!), thus fulfilling the internet’s need for Bob to be the new Barb. #RipBob #RipBarb

Meanwhile, everyone’s least favorite skins vs shirts player, Billy, is gettin’ hisself ready for a hot date (who is the lucky lady????) He sprays some random hairspray on this disgusting mullet (definitely NOT Farrah Fawcett hairspray), sprays some cologne down his pants and he’s READY! This dude’s wig looks worse every single time I see it but I do have to throw some respect this character’s way for having a TANK poster in his room (the demogorgon is always in the details). Also why does every room in this house have a fireplace?

No time for questions! Billy’s dad is home and he is every 80s villain dad combined - an abusive, violent, terribly mustachioed monster. And now we get it! Villains beget villains; violence is learned at home. It’s all a cycle. Demogorgons, please kill this dude first. 

Back at home, Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig is an EFFING MESS and so is she. Shadow monster, get out of Will already! 

The only solution seems to be making a hostage barn for Will’s Shadow Monster and we learn two important things: interrogation lighting makes Will’s bowl cut look shiny and lustrous and also Will knows morse code! CLOSE THE GATE, Y’ALL!

WHO ON EARTH CAN CLOSE THE GATE?!?!?!

Oh, right: Elle/Jane. Duh. 

CHAPTER NINE: THE GATE

Elle/Jane’s sudden appearance RIGHT AT THE PERFECT MOMENT leads to a bunch of mushy reunion hugs, all of which are delivered while Elle/Jane still has a bloody nose. If you really loved her, GIVE HER A DAMN TISSUE! Anyway, after everyone has a lot of FEELINGS, a plan is made: Elle/Jane and Hooper will go to the lab to close the gate and Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig will take Will and Jonathan to Hooper’s cabin to break Will’s Shadow Monster virus with all of the heat necessary. Sounds legit!

Steve, our new favorite character and sudden nice guy apologizes to Nancy and her new curly up-do for abandoning her drunken ass at the Halloween party and tells her to go to Hooper’s cabin with Jonathan. If this means more time for Steve and Dustin’s bromance, so be it!

Meanwhile, Nancy’s mom is taking some time out of her busy schedule of allowing her kids to disappear for days on end while she daydrinks white wine to have some ME TIME in a bubble bath reading a romance novel. Calgon, take me away! This up-do is even better than Nancy’s and the best Nancy’s mom’s wig has ever looked. Sadly, someone has the audacity to ring her doorbell just as she’s truly weewaxing and her good-for-nothing husband is out-cold sleeping in the study! UGH. WHO ON EARTH COULD BE AT THE DOOR?!

OOH-LA-LA! Don’t you love it when you’re reading about an oily bohunk and then one just shows up? And uses the dumbest line ever and asks if you’re Nancy’s sister, not mom?

I think Nancy’s mom got her groove back! Does this mean she’ll finally abandon her Reagan supporting, constantly napping older husband? Only time will tell but girl, your wig looks GOOD.

Thanks for the cookie, Nancy’s mom. Billy’s mullet still looks TERRIBLE.

Billy’s mullet then hightails it over to the Byers residence where he and Steve have a skins vs shirts rematch battle thus ensuring that Winona Ryder’s house is completely trashed at least once every season of this show. Steve puts up an admirable fight but he’s no match for Billy’s violent assholery. Also way to go doing nothing: Mike, Lucas and Dustin! The only one able to stop Billy is his sister (?) Max who sedates him with some of Will’s conveniently accessible sedatives and then threatens him with Steve’s nail bat. Max is the new Negan! All hail! Also Billy’s character never amounted to ANYTHING and we never got to see him wail on a sax so: missed opportunities all around.

Over at Hopper’s cabin, Winona’s season 2 wig is getting all kinds of swampy in the sweat lodge they’ve created to exorcise the shadow monster out of Will. What a MESS.

Meanwhile, Steve comes to in Billy’s car which is being driven by Max (and yes, we see the Indiana Jones reference, Duffer Bros!) and despite probably having a concussion from being wailed on by Billy, goes into the demogorgon vine tunnel to burn out some demodogs. This is where Stranger Things achieves peak Goonies status. 

Anyway, back at Hawkins Lab, Paul Reiser is totally still alive (yay?) and Elle/Jane is able to harness her anger just like her sister helped her to do and close the damn gate. Now will someone PLEASE GET HER A TISSUE?!

A month later, it’s Christmastime (because just like now, the 80s skips straight from Halloween to Christmas). Everyone is doing GREAT YOU GUYS. Dustin’s mom got a new cat (Mews 2.0) and he got hisself some Farrah Fawcett hairspray! Can this show actually bring back this product? I feel like it has the power to do so. 

Anyway, the hairspray of hairgod Steve transforms Dustin into THIS! YES! I have no idea why Steve drives Dustin to the Snow Ball but logic went out the window years ago with this show. I guess they just still have a bromance, which does warm my heart and #TeamSteve always.

Anyway, inside the Snow Ball, Lucas successfully dances with Max, who is wearing a striped velour shirt and burnt sienna corduroy PANTS to a semi-formal - ok gurl you officially won me over. Also some rando girl asks Will to dance and even though she calls him zombie boy, it’s nice. 

Sadly, no one wants to dance with Dustin and his duckie shoes (officially best 80s movie reference - the demogorgon is always in the details). Dustin 4Ever and all you Hawkins Middle School girls can fall into the upside down for not wanting to dance with him!

Luckily, Nancy is inexplicably chaperoning the dance and comes to Dustin’s rescue. Her up-do HAS NEVER LOOKED BETTER! Her no-body perm FINALLY GETS BODY! HALLELUJ! Also just look at the meeting of these two hairdos. Magic.

In the end, Jane (who is officially Jane now because Paul Reiser gave Hooper some official birth certificates about it - vegetable mom be damned!) shows up to dance with Mike because OF COURSE SHE DOES. Her hair is sort of a gelled down combo of curly and sleek and...ok? All these Snow Ball hair lewks are wigless anyway since no one wants Billy’s mullet to chaperone anything. And it is because of this awful mullet and Winona’s season 2 wig that I have to say.....

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#wigwurq #strangerthings #strangerthings2 #strangerthingsseason2 #madmax #trickortreatfreks #strangerthingswigs #winonaryder #milliebobbybrown #geraldineferraro4ever #riskybusiness #siouxiesioux #wigfailure #wigfail #demogorgonsinthedetails #skinsvsshirts #mulletbasketball #ripmews #steveanddustin4ever #teamsteve #snowball #farrahfawcetthairspray

[shirtlesssammy]

Wishful Thinking: The Teddy Bear Doctor Recap

Guys! Guys!! We made it to one of Boris’s very favorite episodes. I’m overjoyed that we’re finally recapping it!

Then:

UST all over the place.

Now:

We open to a woman showering, when a creeper kid wanders up to the shower behind her. Just as she finishes and turns to exit, he vanishes. As the woman towels up, a ghost hand print streaks across the shower condensation, and foot prints pad across the bathroom floor. The woman senses the ghostly presence, and calls out, to no response. She then throws her hair towel aside, only for it to land 6 feet in the air. The jig is up for the apparition. “Um, hello...Mrs. Armstrong.” COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED UNCONTROLLABLE SCREAMING.

Sam and Dean are at a bar. Dean is enjoying his post-Hell coping shots, while Sam pesters him about why Uriel would tell him that Dean remembers Hell. Dean is still denying any knowledge of his time there. They also have one very enthusiastic server. Dean is not impressed.

Sam kind of has a case. He tells Dean about the ghost sightings in women’s locker rooms, and Dean’s throwing cash on the table so fast, Sam can hardly keep up. “Women, showers. We got to save these people,” Dean insists. Oh Dean, you opportunistic, sublimating unicorn.

Sam and Dean roll into Concrete, Washington. Dean drops Sam off at a Chinese restaurant where Sam interviews the woman from the cold open. He’s writing a book called...Supernatural. As she’s telling her story, Sam get distracted by a couple kissing in the corner. The woman tells Sam that the apparition knew her name, and she fell --she wasn’t pushed, which kind of unravels her story of a vengeful spirit.

Sam meets up with Dean, who did a check on Mrs. Armstrong’s house, coming up with nothing but disappointment. As they head to the car to leave the town behind, a child, chased by a group of other children, runs in front of their path, and they notice a local vehemently arguing with the police that Bigfoot attacked him. FBI agents to the rescue!

The brothers head to where “Bigfoot” was last seen, and Sam informing the audience that hunters already know that Bigfoot is a hoax. Only, they find imprints in the ground, and Sam observes, “That is a big foot.” They follow the tracks to a liquor store, door ripped off.

Once inside, they find the place trashed. Dean surmises that Bigfoot is a “girl drink drunk” with all the amaretto and Irish Cream bottles broken on the ground. And then he nabs himself some Hunters Helper. Smooth Dean. In addition to all the booze, Bigfoot also grabbed all the porno in the shop. The boys are beyond baffled, and hilariously take a silent moment to sit and ponder the absurdity of the situation. Dean’s mind wanders to comparing Bigfoot to David Duchovny. His little guilty face from thinking about Mulder is just too cute.

Just then a little girl on a bike rides by, dropping her Busty Asian Beauties mag, as one does. She was returning all the booze and porn, so they follow her to her home. They knock and the little girl answers. Sam asks to speak to her parents, but they’re not home. Dean then asks, “Have you seen a really, really furry…” and the girl quickly responds, “Is he in trouble?!” No! They just want to make sure he’s okay. The girl admits that “he” is her teddy bear and that he’s sick. It’s a good thing Sam and Dean are teddy bear doctors! They agree to take a look at him.

And then instantly regret it when he yells at them to “Close the friggin’ door!” Audrey, the little girl, explains that all she ever wanted was a big teddy, but something is wrong with him now. Dean asked how the teddy became real, and Audrey admits to wishing for it at the wishing well. Dean heads back to to the teddy bear, and gets hit with a load of existential pain.

In an aside, the brothers wonder how they take care of a stuffed teddy bear. Figuring this is just a small part of the larger mystery, they tell Audrey that the teddy bear is suffering from lollypop disease, and she should find a neighbor to stay with.

We cut to the little boy from earlier tossing a coin into a wishing well at the Chinese restaurant. He leaves just as Sam and Dean walk up to the well. Dean tests the well with a wish of his own. Two seconds later a sub arrives. Stellar service sub shop! The boys surmise that the wishing well is legit --the teddy bear, the sub sandwich, and they both see the couple again. Apparently a nerdish dude and an attractive woman make no sense. (Natasha: I know, right? Eyeroll.) As Dean eats his very delicious sub sandwich, a waiter informs him he can’t eat outside food, so the brothers show their health inspector badges to shut the restaurant down to investigate the wishing well better.

They share a BM scene, discussing what Sam would wish for. Dean seems to want him to wish for a life without the supernatural in it. Sam disagrees with it. It’s not what he wants anymore. “Well, what would Sammy wish for?” “Lillith’s head on a plate, bloody.” It’s that moment that Dean notices a strange coin, one that won’t budge from the bottom of the well. Armed with a crowbar and hammer, Dean gets nowhere with this magical coin. Sam takes an etching, tells Dean to look into it, and takes off.

Invisible creeper boy heads once again into the women’s locker room. Sam follows him him, confronts him, and shocks him into turning visible once again. 

“Don’t worry ma’am,” Sam says to explain his presence. “I’m with the health department.” Sam, you beautiful, magical dumpling. (I do love that Sam got this job instead of Dean.)

Meanwhile, Dean witnesses a young boy chasing after several much larger boys. “You got a problem, mister?” the boy asks when he notices Dean staring. No, man, no problems here. Dean is quickly distracted by indigestion, however.

Sam arrives back at the hotel room to hear Dean throwing up. “The wishes turn bad,” Dean warns weakly between vomiting spells. Urg. “The coin is Babylonian,” Dean says before he boomerangs back to the bathroom. He’s been doing some research (in between vomiting spells?) The coin is cursed and while it grants wishes, the wishes turn on the wishers. While this may seem like a lighthearted chuckle, the coin has torn entire towns apart. The only way they can stop it is to find the first wisher. That person can pull out the coin and reverse all the wishes.

Meanwhile T. Bear writes a tearful suicide note, lifts a gun to his mouth, and shoots a hole in his head (Boris: complete with stuffing!). The camera pans back and our bear is still alive! “Whyyyyyy,” he shouts in existential horror. 

Back at the hotel room, Dean’s sleeping off the bad sandwich special. He twitches in his sleep and we see flashes of Hell before Sam yells at him to wake up. Dean pops up and immediately settles on the side of the bed so he can lean over and grab the bottle of booze on the floor. He takes a swig. He’s good. Yeah. He’s good. (Boris: Man, I am so looking forward to season 13! Dean is going to be in so much pain, but if his Mary confession helped at all, he’s going to be processing Cas’s death so differently.)

Sam calls bullshit on his affected indifference. He insists that Dean remembers Hell and begs him to confide in him. “Can we stow the couples therapy?” Dean asks. He’s ready to work. Sam rattles off his list of wishers so far: the girl and her teddy bear, lottery guy, “invisible pervert guy”...

Dean, who’s been perusing the paper, finds a potential wisher that goes back one month. The surprise engagement of one Wesley Mondale and Ms. Hope Lynn Casey - aka the nerdy dude with the hot chick.

At the Mondale residence, Hope brings in “a snack” on a tray. It’s a whole roast chicken piled with a ton of other food. She loves him like crazy, scary banana cakes. “Are you happy?” he asks her, worried.

“I love you more than anything,” she replies, eyes wide. Eesh.

Wesley asks her to do things that “made her happy before.” She starts to break down into tears, worried that she’s disappointing him. He tries to reassure her when the doorbell rings. It’s Dean and Sam! This time they are the world’s surliest florists.

Wesley recognizes them as health department. Oh yeah, agrees Dean. And florists. “Plus FBI. And on Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors.” They spot Wesley’s coin collection mounted on the wall and grill him about a certain ancient Babylonian coin. They’re interrupted from escalating their interrogation by Hope’s arrival with her wedding planning book. She manically flips through magazines and clippings while Dean and Sam ask her about their impending nuptials.

“One day last month, it’s like I just saw him for the first time.” Caught up in memories, she starts to kiss him and uuuuuuuuugh I am so uncomfortable right now.

Wesley tells him that the wish-granting coin was given to him by his grandfather. The Winchesters tell him that he’s got to unwish his wish. Dean pulls his gun out of his belt. “We really wish you’d come with us.” (Does his gun have a name? I would like to call it The Persuader. And one day Dean will be fighting a murderous debate team and pull out his gun, then say “Debate this” before killing all the monsters.)

Wesley is slumped in misery in the backseat. He’d wished that Hope would love him more than anything and he doesn’t want to take it back! It’s not fair! Pout. Pout. Dean tells him that he’s not supposed to get what he wants. That’s not how the world works. And. Okay. I mostly really, really love this episode but one thing that skeeves me out every time is that Wesley’s wish is framed as an unfortunate thing that will backfire on him. When the Winchesters talk to him about his choices, that’s how they frame it. But man. Nobody thought to just bluntly point out the horrifying consent / rape issues with Hope? I realize that robs the episode of a great deal of comedic tone, but it makes me feel gross to just gloss over it like it’s not a big deal.

Anyway, Wesley remains unconvinced and asks them to prove that his town is tumbling into insanity.

Cut to the gaggle of bully boys. The little kid knocks over an SUV holding the other terrified kids and then shouts to the sky, “Kneel before Todd!”

Sam and Wesley head off to the restaurant while Dean talks to Todd. Dean tries to give him the Spiderman “great power, great responsibility” line and Todd decks him one. 

Outside the restaurant Sam is suddenly struck by lightning. Wesley finds Hope standing over the wishing well and reveals that she wished Sam dead so he wouldn’t undo the curse. Wesley is horrified to learn that Hope wished a man dead. She loves him more than literally anything. He hugs her, reassures her, then leans over and picks up the coin.

Dean tries to control Todd but gets caught in a chokehold. Sam lies dead outside. But when the coin gets picked up Todd loses his strength and Sam revives. Dean, because he’s a good bean, acts scared in front of Todd’s bullies and the bullies flee, scared forever of the wrath of Todd.

At the restaurant Wesley tries to talk to Hope but she doesn’t know him at all. She walks out in a fog and heads back to her regular life again. Wesley mopes his way out of the restaurant and turns the coin over to Sam for safe keeping.

All the wishers are back, consequences mostly mitigated. Sam melted down the coin and the town is safe once more. Dean pauses for a super quick BM moment (away from the car! GASP!) (Boris interjects: Second one for the night! Do we even know this show?!?)

Dean tells him that he remembers everything from Hell. But he is one billion million percent not willing to talk about it. He’s deeply, deeply scarred. “You wouldn’t understand,” he tells Sam. They both choke back EMOTIONS. (And so do we.)

KNEEL BEFORE QUOTES:

Dessert time? Amirite?

Every hunter worth his salt knows bigfoot’s a hoax.

He's some kind of a alcohol-o-porno addict. Kind of like a deep woods Duchovny.

What's this, like a Harry and the Hendersons deal?

We are teddy bear doctors.

Careful what you wish for.

People are people 'cause they're miserable bastards, 'cause they never get what they really want.

There’s a bigfoot out there, and he’s a son of a bitch!

Not ‘ouch’ sad, but ���ouch in the head’ sad.

“Why am I here?” “For tea parties!”

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 4x18 #wishful thinking #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 4 #he was my ben edlund thing

[ripsquadentllc-blog]

Do Wrong The Right Way

I see too many people doing dirt in the dumbest of ways. What I mean by this is I notice people doing things they know they shouldn't be doing, but they go about it in an illogical way. There are precautions that must be taken while doing wrong. There are also a few rules that should be followed. 1. Don't be obvious. If you are doing something wrong and are attempting to not get caught, then it's needless to say don't make your intentions known. For example, if you plan on stealing something in a store, then don't hover around it while staring at the cashier. You look suspicious as fuck. Most thieves spot what they want to steal then avoid going near it until they are sure no one is watching them. Store owners are aware of this, which is why they are suspicious of people (mainly teenagers and minorities) that walk around the store too long with buying anything. The best way to steal from a store is the direct approach. Just walk in, grab it and walk out. Usually, this works best after scouting. You visit the store once or twice to learn the layout, see if there are any cameras and take note of busy hours. Then you come back, grab and go. 2. Make sure it's worth the risk. This is pretty self explanatory. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. You win some and you lose some. You've heard it all. Just make sure your wins outweigh your losses. I'm not talking success rate. I'm saying you have to know whether or not the punishment of getting caught is worth whatever it is you are doing. Do the pros of your actions outweigh the cons? Do you stand to gain more than you stand to lose? For example, when I was in college, niggas used to steal each other's game systems and laptops . (Xbox, Playstation) If you were caught doing this, the worst case scenarios are getting kicked out of school or fighting the nigga whose shit you stole. A high end gaming console/laptop is worth $500- $1000 on average. You could easily sell these things and make a couple hundred dollars. If you spend a lot of time robbing niggas, then you probably don't care too much about getting a degree. Plus getting kicked out of one college won't stop you from attending another one. Also, my school was small enough to know whose shit you were stealing, so you knew ahead of time whether or not you could beat that person in a fight. The risks are farely low compared to the reward. Let's change the scenario a little bit. Let's say you want to steal the same product, but new. So you decide to steal a system/laptop from a Best Buy. Now the risks are a lot higher. If you get caught here, they are more than likely pressing charges. And stealing that type of product is going to get you a grand larceny offense. You're doing a couple years in jail, paying a few grand in fines or both. This time, the deed isn't worth the risk at all. 3. Timing is everything. You can commit any crime or wrong doing and get away with it as long as it's done at the right time. In life, timing makes a huge difference in every decision you make. Perfect example. My favorite word is "bitch." I can call my homeboys bitches all day cause we have that kind of relationship, but I can't do the same to my female friends (or any female) without getting cursed out or beat the fuck up. However, there was a small period of time when I could call anyone a bitch. If you are older than 10 then I'm sure you remember the Chappelle Show. One of their most iconic episodes was the Rick James episode. The premise was Charlie Murphy sharing stories of how he used to hang out with Rick James, who was played by Dave Chappelle in a flashback sketch. The most memorable line from that episode was "I'm Rick James, bitch." For the next month, I could call anyone a bitch as long as I claimed my name was Rick James, first. 4. Have a backup plan if caught. Obviously, the goal is to get away with something wrong without being caught, but there is always a chance that things don't go as smoothly as you planned. This is when you need to have a backup plan. A backup plan can be something as simple as a lie you can tell to help you escape punishment. The funny thing is most people can tell you are lying, but if it's a good enough lie they'll be too afraid to call you on your bullshit. The one thing people hate more than liers is that awkward embassment they feel when they've accused someone of lying then later find out that person telling the truth. For example, a buddy and I were out so late the sun started rising. We were broke and starving so we decided to drive to the closest hotel and help ourselves to a free continental breakfast. We got inside and could smell the food, but couldn't see it. We made the mistake of going to a nice hotel, so us being the only two niggas there kind of made us stand out. One of the managers approached us and asked what we were doing there. For some reason my mind went comepletely blank. My homeboy told him we were interested in working there and we needed applications. (Damn, that was a perfect lie.) We actually did need jobs at this time and we definitely looked unemployed. He gave us 2 applications and we left. 5. Don't get cocky/sloppy. After a little practice/luck you'll become quite successful at pulling off these stunts, but don't become too arrogant. The day you get cocky is the day you get caught. And it's not going to be because of karma. It'll be because you made a rookie mistake. When you become full of yourself you'll start to make mistakes you normally wouldn't make. You overlook certain things. Cheating, for example. Not to sound arrogant, but I've successfully cheated on too many girls to count. However when you do it as much as I have, you are bound to get caught evebtually. I remember one instance especially, because it could have been easily avoided. It was clearly a rookie mistake. A few of them, actually. As usual, I had a chick hanging out at my crib. We just finished fucking and I had to go to the bathroom. First rookie mistake, was leaving my phone in the room. Second rookie mistake, was not having a lock on my phone. Third rookie mistake, was not clearing all call logs and text messages before she came over. At the time I had roommates, so when I left the bathroom I chatted with them for a few mins. That was my fourth rookie mistake; not coming back in the room quick enough. Of course, she couldn't help but go through my phone. Especially afyer I made it so easy for her. It had been a while since I was last caught up, so I was feeling invicible. Then it all came crashing down because I got careless. Remember, always keep your guard up no matter how good you are. 6. Be confident/oblivious. This may sound contradictory to the last rule, but let me clarify what I'm saying. I'm saying you should commit to your actions. Whatever you are doing should come off as natural. So natural that it seems like you are completely oblivious to any wrong being done. For example, years ago I was in a McDonald's. It was really busy and the cashiers were just taking people's names and writing it on their orders. When your order was ready, they would yell your name and set your food on the counter. I was waiting in the back of the line to order when I noticed a guy make an order then immediately go to the restroom. They called his name, I walked to the counter, grabbed his bag, said thank you and walked right out. No hesitation at all. 7. Don't snitch on yourself. This should go without saying, but people talk too fucking much. If you do something and get away with it, shut up and be grateful. Don't go around bragging to your friends. You especially, don't brag to strangers. You never know who knows who. The only time telling on yourself is ok, is if there is no possible way it could come back to bite you in the ass. For example, as a rapper, I sometimes rap about my life. But you'll never hear me rap about some shit that I did that could possibly be used against me in court. The only time I might even consider doing something like that is if I'm past the statute of limitations or I'm on my death bed.

[thelaughingserpent]

Sherlock Spoilereview

[Obviously Sherlock spoilers] [loooong boring post]

I probably would not have started watching Sherlock on my own. Every so often my Mom will get hooked by a show, (usually a British historical drama/mystery series) and I’ll start watching it with her every time I visit. Sherlock is one of those. So while I probably wouldn’t have watched it on my own, we both liked it and got hooked by it. I’m speaking mainly of seasons 1-3 which were all we had on Netflix, which she had seen and showed to me afterward.

So when season 4 came around a couple weeks ago, we were excited. This would be the first time we watched new episodes with neither of us knowing what would happen. to me, The show is okay, but having something both of us could get invested in at the same time was what made it more interesting.

But yeah, season 4? Not great. Ambitious, sure, but not very good. My biggest problem, like several other folks, was the finale, but I’ll get to that in a second.

Episode 1: good return-to-form stuff. Getting back into the groove. Cool mystery and all that jazz. THEN Mary gets killed. A very interesting and progressively re-imagined character who added a lot to the story, dead.

Yes, her death serves a narrative purpose, but it does feel like she’s been yanked out looooong before she’s had a chance to give the story everything her character has to offer. As probably the strongest female character in the show, she carried a very big and very important torch, but now she just dies in order to create more conflict between John and Sherlock.

On the other hand, in Episode 2, it has the interesting side-effect of removing her from the normal restrictions of that character. As a “halluci-ghost” or whatever, she can now show up in ANY scene between John and Sherlock, without the narrative having to accommodate for WHY her character is there. Technically her character now has more potential screen time. But the problem is, she isn’t really a character anymore. She’s a figment of John’s imagination and thus merely an extension of his character, which feels like she’s being robbed of her legitimacy a bit. She may still be “in the show” but she’s not real anymore. A pretty steep downgrade for any character, really.

But yeah, Episode 2: probably the best of the season, because it creates a new villain that is different than the others and is interesting to watch. This is mostly due to the fact that Toby Jones is amazing.

I love Toby in anything, he’s a great actor who has gotten good at playing a broad range of characters and seems to relish playing villains whenever he can. He’s a good villain in episode 2 because he’s contemporary, he’s a legitimate threat, and while he might not match Sherlock in genius, he drives the point home that the rich and famous can (and sometimes do) get away with murder.

He’s interesting because, like a certain somebody who’s being elected to high office in America today, he’s vile and horrible, and everyone knows it, yet is given a free pass by literally everyone because of how wealthy and influential he is.

And yet, sadly, we only get Toby Jones for 1 episode. He appears, causes trouble, and is soundly defeated in what feels like 20 minutes. Mary, postmortem, instigates a new cathartic understanding between John and Sherlock, culminating in saving Sherlock’s life and nabbing the bad guy.

If this had been the last episode of the season, I’d have been perfectly fine with it. But no, we’ve got another, and it turns out to be kind of a stinker. My mom and I seemed equally disappointed for identical reasons.

Episode 3 is where we find out, SURPRISE, Sherlock and Mycroft have an evil sister. A sister who, once and for all, officially violates what I’m willing to accept as plausible.

She’s magic. She has magic fucking powers. You can attempt to call it her “genius intellect” or her ability to “mess with people’s heads” or whatever. At the end of the day, her powers basically amount to magic. She can predict the future, she can brainwash people into being her mindless slaves just by talking to them for 15 minutes. She can convince “ordinary” people to do anything purely by talking evil to them.

Sherlock the TV show: sorry, I do not buy any of this.

First off, this show has been pushing what is realistically possible since day 1. It’s fiction, Sherlock and Mycroft and Moriarty’s intellects are exaggerated and overreach what is actually possible for human beings. That’s fine, that’s the show. Sherlock Holmes and his villains are over-the-top and impossible in their capabilities, but they “work” in this show because they’re broken down into parts the audience can parse and they’re limited in their range.

But Sherlock’s sister “Eurus” is just too bonkers. She spends the episode trapping Sherlock, John, and Mycroft on the island prison she was supposed to be contained in, which she took control of thanks to her magic ability to get people to do whatever she wants. She tortures them in an INCREDIBLY Saw-esque series of no-win moral puzzles where (like the bad guy in Saw) she hopes to somehow prove that everyone’s moral compass is stupid and that it only makes logical sense to be evil. Not a very new or unique premise for a villain.

Long story short, the gang survives thanks to Sherlock’s quick thinking, and Eurus is ultimately revealed to be basically a scared child who just wanted her brother to love her more than other people. Sherlock & family visit her now, in THE SAME ISLAND PRISON SHE ALREADY DEMONSTRATED SHE CAN MIND-FUCK HER WAY OUT OF, and everything is supposed to be okay. John and Sherlock go back to London with a renewed bond, end of the whole thing.

Fucking WHAT. The entire episode is spent drilling into our heads how unbelievably evil and twisted and apparently powerful Eurus is, yet every character forgives her and things just go back to normal because she “didn’t know any better”. This chick can magically mind-fuck people into committing evil for her, has spent EVERY MINUTE OF HER ENTIRE LIFE trying to hurt and kill people for no reason, and you KNOW THIS, and yet your system for dealing with her hasn’t changed at all? We have been shown quite bluntly that she has had zero regard for human life since she was 5 years old! How am I supposed to believe that one teary-eyed heart-to-heart with Sherlock at the end is going to change anything?

The other side effect of this episode is, if you EVER had any sympathy for Mycroft, kiss it goodbye. In this finale, Mycroft is outed as probably the dumbest fucking dude on the planet. He locks up his sister for her entire life, forbids anyone from having any contact with her because he’s aware of her mind-fuck powers, BUT THEN thanks to her magic ability to see the future and predict terrorist attacks after an hour on twitter, he accepts her request of 15 minutes unsupervised conversation with Moriarty. (Whom he KNOWS is also cartoonishly evil and has near-unlimited resources)

It was enough of a shock in season 2 that Mycroft gave Moriarty information on Sherlock in exchange for info on criminal/terrorist organizations. That showed Mycroft as a truly fallible person who fucked up royally and almost killed his brother in the process. Since that fuck-up, the series did a good job of beginning to make us see Mycroft as a redeemable character again.

But not anymore. Now all I can see is a dipshit who KNEW he had an evil crazy supervillain sister and LET HER meet with the other evil crazy supervillain that he KNOWS wants to destroy his brother. And in the end, all he gets is a stern talking-to by his parents.

So what me and my mom got were 2 okay episodes, and a finale that was some of the whackest shit we’ve ever seen. For a series that, at least tenuously, tried to keep itself grounded in believable reality, this was a hard train to goofytown.

#sherlock #tv #bbc