#we just werent close

[echo-s-land]

It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you' #its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.) #anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point) #am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

[anotherpapercut]

sorry if this is extraordinarily pretentious but I do think it's wild that lobe piercings count as piercings in the same way a lip piercing does. it feels wrong. I have never thought of ear piercings as real piercings it seems like you should just be born with those right like they should be just in there naturally

#i have had my lobes pierced 3 times so like i have 6 extra holes in my ears but theyre closed and if they werent i dont think id count them #because its just a lobe piercing? if you can get it as a whole ass baby it doesnt count to me jfksvsjsbdbd SORRY if this is mean its just #its SO normie. which isnt a bad thing just in my mind that makes it not count sjbsjsbs #just like if i say i have 3 piercings and I'm talking about on my actual face and then someones like oh i have 2 and its just their lobes #im gonna be like hm ok #anyway umm this is all to say that I'm sorry but if you have no facial piercings at all i am always going to think youre boring #and i dont mean that in a mean way. we need boring people to make the rest of us look cool #just funny to me when people are like oh no facial piercings seem so risky and scawy like have u seen an 80 yr old womans lobe piercings #those mfs may as well have been stretched for gauges. also ear piercings seem to get infected more ime #also ive seen people have their earrings fully ripped out but never a facial piercing unfortunately #also i can't think of anything more metal than that lmfao. that sounds gross and painful but sick as FUCK

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it #my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store #and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person #dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much #for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is #trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u #treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her #dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a #god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close #my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he #feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom #which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were #saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were #a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was #distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their #relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her #expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she #grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear #in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i #saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The #Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and #unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much #unrelated

[jarvis-cockhead]

saw camera obscura the other night nd i fully cant express how much it and them mean to me it was like being in front of god itself except instead of god it was my second mother who raised me. camera obscura raised me and have been a constant in my life since around 2009 and i have so, so many memories tied to them and they were right there. yes i did sob

#and also i got one of the setlists!!!! :] #and also they substituted smth for james bc someone asked and i. #i wasnt expecting them to play it. bc they werent going to. but they did. its one of my favourites #swans is my favourite song ever nd we got that one too and i was. a wreck #razzle dazzle rose as a closing song was insane also holy fuck just.. no words. i fully just ascended #they mean so much to me. so much #i dont rlly blog abt them bc there isnt rlly a fandom as such #but man. theyre the best #sidenote i cant get through sugar almond without crying yet its impossible. i sob #camera obscura ilysm #camera obscura

[spiral-wizard]

Looked in the mirror today and realized I'm starting to look (and sound!) a lot like my brothers,,, only teared up a little bit!!!!

#they're handsome guys :'-) #we're all gonna be in the same place next month im excited to see pics of us together ;_; #we werent close at all as kids but we've all chilled out a lot over the years and we're cool now #never really hung out with just them before in my whole dang life honestly and especially not as their brother #it will be weird but good i think. thank you testosterone for my life once again

[girlwithfish]

idk why my boss is giving me attitudetoo maybe cuz some parent prob complained abt me cuz i was talkjng to my coworker for a min during pick up bc we were trying to coordinate how we were going to close two classrooms with 30minutes left of the day and we didnt break up this ladys kid and some other kid who were having some petty ass two yr old fight on the playground

#like ok yeah i shld have broken it up but i didnt so what now. no one is hurt they werent actually fighting #they were just having some petty fight where they both wanted to b on the slide and were just screaming bc theyre two it wasnt actually like #physical #idk maybe these bitches shld givenus enough time to properly clean our classrooms and close etc cuz my coworker nd i were just trying to #work out how we were gojng to do that and its always so chaotic like two kids screaming we might not immediately run over to them when we #have like 16 other kids !! idk #anyway apparently she was pissed and complained to a diff coworker and probably the director too and claimed we were on our phones lol #like if i was on mg phone i was just checking the ratios and who was where and work stuff it was just an unlucky moment idk #like i feel like everyone's so focused on when u mess up only its getting old like watch ur own kid then bitch LMAO 😭😭😭idk #sorry im salty rn im just sick of parents rn like... #i feel like im working really hard and theres like no reward ig thats just life LOL but im sick of the toxic work environment tho #the vibes r bad i dont need it anymore. lol

[astro-inthestars]

Today has gotta be the best day of my week. yeah sure exams suck whatever but like One: KISSES!!! KISSIESHGSKHDSJ i got ma.nyy :]

Two: WENT OUT WITH MY FRIENDS!! WE ATE OUT!! on the house our friend spoted us we LOVE HER I WOULD KILL PPL FOR HER!!!

Three: I WAS IN THE HOTTEST FIT . and i mean in both ways ahahahhAJFS I WAS SWELTERING BUT AT LEAST I LOOKED GOOD AF!!! (girlfie agreed :D even got very flustered lets fucking GO according to plan >:] DESERVED cuz they looked too pretty for me to handle too. BITCh-)

Four: LMAO WE WERE GASLIGHTING OUR FRIENDS THAT WE JUST HAD A CRUSH ON EACH OTHER actually only that LAUREL had a crush on ME and so our friends wanted her to confess to me via handwritten letter AND SO WE JUST WROTE "hey we've been dating since April 1st lol" AND GAVE THEM SUCH A JUMPSCARE LMAOOOO

#rennikorambles #flowers blooming in the stars #HEHEHJGHKGFKDHSA it was sSO funny #and we were being soooo clingy the whole time #(NOT my fault. they looked too pretty. what's a guy to do when his girlfriend looks gorgeous) #oh my god lmao when we got in our friend's car there was too man of us so she got to sit on my lap :DDDDDDD #ine of my fave gestures ive wanted to do that for AGES i wanna hold my gf close and I GOT IT even for just a short bit #and we snuck kisses with each other every time our friends werent looking #hwhehwehwhehehehhewheeeeeeee girlfrienndddd :]

[weirderscience]

if i had a nickel for every time someone has been entitled and weird towards a creator. for depicting conflict and characters that do bad things that are depicted as bad things in the context of the story. and told them to change it. id have several nickels

#ive legit had anons in the past tell me to redirect the entire arc of an rp they werent even in #just bc they found it upsetting that we were exploring themes of generational trauma and familial conflict in it #i dont know what to say to that i think you should understand that sometimes an author makes characters do bad things to progress the story #and not because they have some kind of agenda where they think thats a good thing. its important to understand context #(note: this rp was viewable via blogs it was not closed to the public) #labz.txt

[caffeinatedopossum]

Remembering wonderful times that didn't actually happen with people that I had to cut off

#'i miss them' i think to myself imagining things we didnt actually do together #this is sponsored by the dream i had about being really close with the friend i lost recently #and 'remembering' how we talked every day and had a great time around each other all the time #except it was all in the dream... ouch #im not gonna pretend we werent close. we were. just not like what was in my dream #sometimes the dream itself is the nightmare. other times its something that happens long after ive woken up

[dwtdog]

Based on what George said idk why any of you think Hannah or Sylvee would have a problem with him unless they think he's lying.

yeah, but i also think it could feel to them like a shock, even if everything he said was true, which is why i hope they can talk it out permitting everyone feels comfortable with that

#cq.asks #i do agree with u anon #i think from our perspective they r close enough as friends to work things out #but we never know the full story in the end #like i was completely blindsided by tu//bbo saying him and wilbur werent close #(not that the siuations r comprable) #just that we dont know fully how deep and cc connections go

[infizero]

kills you kills you kills you kills you kills yo

#listening to the audio on the page again gawdddd i feel ill im gonna throw up #kris' frenzied discordant playing. you usually play the piano a bit more beautifully. they didnt have a piano at their house #they loved to play the piano and there was no piano in the house there was no keyboard in the house nothing #and now their hands' movements are not their own their fingers uselessly mash against the keys in the clumsy frustrated way #they cant even do the one thing they were good at anymore. you usually play the piano and bit more beautifully #and then noelle listening in from the other room. there were times when i wasnt even sure if we were friends. maybe they werent thinking #about me at all. we're friends. we're something else. we havent hung out in so long but i know how you like your eggs. what your favorite #color has been throughout the years. the first movie you cried to. i know you better than anyone. i dont know you at all #your voice isnt your own. what happened to your voice? what happened to the beautiful music you made? what happened to you? #why are you telling me to do these unspeakable things? why am i going along with it? (we're getting stronger) why do i let the blood drip #down my finger from the ring you slipped onto it? (we're something else) what happened to us? #we used to play tag in your backyard. there's blood on my hands because of you. i dont know whats happened to you and i cant stop it #maybe they weren't thinking about me at all #you usually play the piano a bit more beautifully #but when i closed my eyes it felt like a concert just for me #i need a drink #serena.txt

[majoraswrath]

My older sister passed away

Idk what else to add

#tw death #we werent super close but it still ah sucks a lot #still in the doesnt feel real stage i guess #i just wanted to post it i guess idk #im fine i guess tho i mean like ya know? ifs not fine but its fine for how not fine it is #life

[dodecademons]

Sorry not sorry I watched Warrior Nun again. William Miller being so active with the fans and what not got me thinking about Adriel again. Becaaaause was he the villain we thought he was? Sure he was tricking people into getting possessed by wraiths. Sure he killed some people. He is bad. Fact. Morally grey man. But he was enslaved (pretty sure he mentioned that) and kinda had to serve Reya without a choice. It isn't heaven or hell, it's some third thing. Reya though, had a child get transported into her land, saw the divinium in him and decided to make him a walking bomb. Trained him so he could take punches, not necessarily fight back, (as seen per Ava and Beatrice intervening, he can fight but he needs help) and told him the only way to win was to sacrifice himself. Also told him, and Ava, that the only way to end Adriel was to sacrifice themselves and there was no other way. Idk sounds pretty convenient to me. Three powerful beings carrying some sort of power from the other dimension (world?) and Reya's only goal is to get rid of Adriel and the only way to do that is full charge sacrifice two people who also have power from that world? Turns out it didn't work, so Reya was wrong anyway. Reya also kind of just stood and watched as Ava was fighting to defeat Adriel and once she realized the divinum bomb didnt work, one down, and the tarasks did their job, two down, Reya was like "as a treat you can have your dying breaths be with your gf" because she knew Ava couldnt heal from the divinium shards, three down. IDK REYA YOU SURE DO ACT PRETTY HUMAN HUH, all this "Reya is so powerful, she is everything" talk and she sure didn't do all that much except manipulate some people huh. I mean, Adriel got away, he almost won. Just saying.

#netflix give me season 3 now #I'm asking for the bare minimum here just season 3 so we can close the story #these thoughts probably because I'm back on my dragon age hype #a powerful being that people say is a god but turns out they enslave those who dont know better and punish those who stray only for a #random mortal to find out they werent a god at all and just a really powerful person who made sure others couldnt be as powerful as them #thus shattering the religion and worship that revolved around said false god and the false god was planning something behind it all #anyway #give me ava and beatrice thank you #also anyone losing hope about a season 3 #have hope because there are lots of people fighting for the show and it might not happen right away but the louder you are the more likely #it will actually happen #some shows got renewed years after it was cancelled it's been like 4 days or something and the fandom is already half way there #the cinematography and score alone is enough for me to want more let alone the cast and crew doing the mostest for us #warrior nun #adriel is bad but so is reya #i said it oop #this is how i cope

[saturnsfather]

okay so i was talking with my boyfriend about this post i made and we ended up talking a lot about the different character’s routes and their interpretations and he said some really interesting stuff so im gonna summarize it for YOU dear pathologic fan because its neat

the first game feels like. okay so yknow how in some shows there’ll be a Bit where an Event happens but we dont see the Event, we just see the characters involved talking about the Event, and we get each of the characters perspectives on the Event but each are wildly different and wildly wrong in their own ways? thats the first game. discounting each of the different endings, each of the healers is remembering what happened in the town from their own perspectives and with their own biases coloring their views of events

so Daniil, of course, mostly recalls that he had to Do Everything Himself. he was all alone, artemy and clara were off doing whatever but HE was doing the hard stuff HE was getting beaten up by the kin HE was getting almost killed by soldiers. Artemy was. i dunno. making some potions or whatever. Clara was just being spooky. who cares HE WAS DOING THE HARD STUFF

Artemy, on the other hand, does truly try to see the best in everyone, and so when Daniil helps him, he remembers that, and remembers Daniil in a positive light. thats why Daniil is so prevalent in his route. Clara was, again, just kind of being spooky, and only really helped him near the end, but Artemy’s route is, arguably, the one where the three of them have the best relationships

and then Clara. Clara is so set in her way of thinking, however she developed it, that upon receiving her premonitions of Daniil razing the town and Artemy spilling blood through the streets, immediately set them both in the “dangerous and destructive” section of her mind and then never took them out. she took her first impressions of them and let everything that happened afterwards filter through those impressions, but ultimately she was so entrenched in her own responsibilities and attempts to fix things that she also relegated them to background noise. this is why they are just trying to kill each other the second half of the game (i know it was game design and her route was just really rushed and unfinished bear with me here). her view of the two of them are as demonic destroyers who she eventually helped set up as running around each other so they wouldnt bother her.

they are all unreliable narrators because no singular event is subjective in past tense. everything we remember as humans is colored by our biases and experiences. no event is truly singular. and perhaps the events truly are different, perhaps theres an element of multiverse theory in the game, but at the same time is it so hard to believe that they all just remember things differently?

#pathologic #bullshit.txt #long post #daniil voice: artemy was helpful. a couple of times. he brought me a heart. i dont know. #artemy voice: daniil was extremely helpful. we were very close colleagues. id even suggest we were friends. #clara voice: theyre DEMONS they were trying to KILL EACH OTHER and i had to try and STOP THEM but also im GLAD they were preoccupied #-because then they werent in my WAY #its also really funny how even in claras route the way other people talk about artemy and daniil and hoe they talk about each other #especially in the first half of the game #gives an inkling that Maybe Everyone Is Just Wrong And Daniil And Artemy Are Fine #like it makes me think that everyone THINKS theyre trying to kill each other but theyre NOT ACTUALLY #and just havent corrected it lmao

[agrebel18]

Today I found out that shooting your shot platonically is WAY HARDER than shooting your shot romantically like oh my lord

#so I’m working at this summer camp that the church my family goes to is hosting for this week right #and MOST THE COUNSELORS SEEMED SO COOL AND GAVE ME GOOD VIBES BUT I #I AM NOT THAT CLOSE TO THEM #AND I WAS CASUALLY TRYING TO TALKING TO THE #THEM WHEN WE WERENT TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS #AND I JUST. WORD VOMITED IN FRONT OF THEM #AND I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO SHUT UP #AND ON TOP OF THAT I FORGOT ONE OF THE COUNSELORS NAMES💀💀💀 #RIGHT NOW IM JUST LIKE ‘HOW DO I FRIEND.’ #LETS HOPE THIS GOES BETTER FOR ME #idk if my struggle is because I’m socially awkward or that I’m autistic #but ITS SO HARD. I JUST WANT TO FRIEND THESE PEOPLE SO HARD #I LOVE FRIENDSHIP #ok rant over #aggie posts

[quiveringdeer]

@aquadenks You mentioning Suguru's zodiac made me curious about Bakugo since he's always in my head too and dear lord, him being THE Aries/Taurus Cusp of April 20th is so completely perfect it had to be planned by Hori

#katsuki bakugo #him being the cusp for those two just adds so much #and what a perfect compliment kiri's libra would be 😌 #i think ive only ever met one libra in my whole life and we werent even that close #wish we had birth times cause i would totally go pull up all these characters' full charts lol #aquadenks #horikoshi is an astrology girly for sure with this alone #or simply super in tune with the forces that be when he picked the bdays