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#what's the line. 'i've got my grandmother's veins in the back of my hands' what's that from. it's a Wonder Years song right
seventh-district · 3 months
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#vent#cw vent#wound mention#sighs deeply#had to take my shirt off for someone recently for medical reasons and while 'oh you poor thing..' is far from the worst response ive gotten#it's definitely still strange to hear. like i'm not rlly surprised‚ i am aware that i'm an upsetting sight#and i keep myself covered all the time to avoid upsetting people that can't handle the sight of marred skin#but i've grown so comfortable in my body over all these years that an interesting side effect of that is that i tend to forget#just how shocked and upset and worried ppl tend to get when they see me. it's almost funny. the sad kind of funny i guess#guess i'd rather laugh than dwell on the knowledge that i'm a set of walking trigger warnings that must be censored#anyways. that experience combined with the stressful and tiring process of tending to a wound on my back for the last 2 weeks#has me thinking about Ch. 5 of AEIWNF. for... reasons. so maybe i'll finally make myself draft and post that today#there's so many things i need to make myself do but the appeal of just sitting alone weaving bracelets and binge-listening to TMA is strong#the urge to be alone and craft things while listening to stories told through a lo-fi medium... where does it come from#that's a rhetorical question i know exactly where it came from. i'm just turning into both of my grandmothers lmao#what's the line. 'i've got my grandmother's veins in the back of my hands' what's that from. it's a Wonder Years song right#Hoodie Weather!!! yeah that's it. man i haven't listened to that in ages. maybe that'll be today's weather report#anyways. what else can i vent about. uhh. it's getting harder and harder to put my thoughts into words and that's concerning!#i'm fighting the desire to push everyone away again even though it feels like i should. i'm too toxic of a person#like. talk to any of the people that have ghosted/blocked me and they'll likely tell you to stop wasting your time on me lmao#and they'd probably be right. i'm so caught up in my own issues that i feel bad for anyone that tries to be friendly to me#everyone gets sick of my shit eventually. i'm overbearing and self-centered or you don't hear from me for months. there's no inbetween#i wish there was. god i wish there was#i'm never active on here anymore bc i feel like if i am then that's disrespectful to everyone waiting to hear back from me#but it's so much easier for me to post and reblog stuff than it is to talk one on one with literally anyone#it's not even social anxiety atp there's just something wrong with my brain. like not to self diagnose but Something's Wrong#okay that's enough whining. gonna go try to do something productive to make myself feel less useless
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kiwiimmellon134 · 4 years
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ONE LAST TIME
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(not my gif!)
summary — in which the resistance’s best fights try and recruit one of the galaxy’s deadliest creature resulting in an unwanted reunion.
word count — 2k words
paring(s) — vampire hunter!poe dameron x fem!vampire!reader
warning(s) — blood, violence, and angst
notes — this vampire au is heavily based on the vampire diaries so this is gonna follow a lot of the supernatural lore of the show. and my first fic on this app, be gentle
Being a vampire wasn’t exactly your cup of tea when it first happened. But the longer you were a vampire, the more you got used to it and the more you embraced it. You were turned by Emperor Palptine himself, the first vampire.
You were the granddaughter of a Sith Lord and it was why Palpatine turned you in the first place. You were a member of the Original Bloodline, the first line of vampires.
The Sith vampires became power hungry and started a war that lasted one thousand years, and is still being fought till now. It began with the Empire, led by your grandmother and Anakin Skywalker.
But then, Luke Skywalker destroyed the Empire’s weapon, seemingly ending the war. Until the First Order rose under you and Kylo Ren.
The First Order had allies among the vampire species. They made sure to make allies with the most deadly creatures in the galaxy. Although, the Resistance had an alliance with the werewolves. Meanwhile, the witches were neutral. The playing field was even since a werewolf bite was toxin and dangerous to vampires.
You had left the First Order a while ago. You finally saw the evils the First Order was doing and left. You snuck away in the middle of the night. You were an ally the Resistance wanted.
General Leia Organa sent her best vampire hunter, Poe Dameron, and his two closest friends, Finn and Rey, to find a new ally for the Resistance. They ended up on a planet named Vela, in hopes of finding this new ally.
"Where did Leia say to search?" Rey asked as the trio walked down the street that was suspiciously empty.
"Here," Poe said, leading them to a bar. Poe, Finn, and Rey entered the bar and were met with a bloody dead body. "Gross," Finn said softly.
They turned into the main room of the bar and saw the horror that waited for them. Blood splattered on the walls and floor, bodies were scattered along the bar and there were some dismembered limbs as well.
Poe looked over at the broomstick resting against the wall. Poe snapped a piece of the broomstick off to make a stake. He only knew about one creature that could create this kind of mess.
Rey swallowed down the distaste in her mouth and felt sick to her stomach. "Holy shit," Rey whispered.
There, in the center of it all, was you, feeding on a dead body with her back facing the trio. You released the man's neck with a snarl and the man's head fell onto the ground with a disgusting thud. You turned around with blood-red eyes and grey veins trickling down from your eyes.
Your mouth and chin were covered in blood. "You've got to be kidding me," Poe commented.
Your eyes turned back to normal and she sighed. "You've got to be kidding me." You said. "Haven't seen you around here in a long time," You added.
"Been busy," Poe answered.
"You know her?" Finn asked.
"I dated her." Finn and Rey turned their heads to look at him, "You what?" Rey asked.
"It's a long story," Poe replied. "It was your typical forbidden romance," You interjected, "Vampire," You pointed to yourself, "Vampire hunter." You pointed to Poe.
"And don't forget the fact you're a manipulative bitch," Poe added.
"Ouch," You put her hand over her heart, "Did my betrayal hurt you that much?"
You met Poe when you were still with the First Order. You found out he was a vampire hunter not long after you met and you came clean about being a vampire to him.
You both tried to make it work. You really did. But you came from opposite sides of the war. Kylo found out about your relationship with him and gave you a choice.
You chose the First Order, which broke your heart but you wanted to stay on the First Order’s good side.
"Okay, who is she?" Rey asked softly.
You introduced yourself to them, "And I come from the Original bloodline. And I'm a Ripper." You explained, "You know what that means?"
When you were met with silence, you answered your own question. "It means I literally can't stop feeding until I tear your head off," You explained, your eyes slowly shifting back to red.
Rey and Finn slowly moved behind Poe since he was the only one relaxed in this situation. "I need to talk to her alone," Poe whispered back to his two friends.
"What?" Finn asked, "Did you not hear what she just said? She will kill you."
"She can't kill me even if she wanted to," Poe replied. He looked at you with a small smirk, "Not unless she wants to deal with me for the rest of her life."
"Don't remind me," You rolled her eyes.
"Let's just say I have supernatural immunity. Go wait outside. This won't take long." Poe said. Rey and Finn hesitantly nodded and left the bar. They were glad to get out of the bar though, it smelt ridiculously bad.
"And what exactly are you planning on doing with that?" You asked, looking down at the stake in his hand, "You think you can kill me? I'm two hundred years older than you."
"I can take you."
You laughed softly, shaking her head slightly. "When did you turn it off? Your humanity?" Poe asked. He knew you wouldn't do it unless you didn't care, if you didn't feel.
"Two years ago." You answered, "I just need to get on human blood. Get off of that rabbit diet my uncle put me on and get back to my roots." Poe glanced down at the floor for a quick moment. Two years ago? You broke up two years ago. Poe looked back up at you.
"General Leia thinks you'll make a good ally to the Resistance. I don't know why since you're the same selfish vampire I've always known." There was a time when Poe really believed you could do good. That you weren’t the same as your family that was currently trying to take over the galaxy.
Just like there was a time where you believed you could change. You wanted to change. For him.
Your face fell for a moment. Just a quick moment as you processed his words. Then, your face hardened again and you replied, "Fucking hell, I lie to you once and you won't let me live it down."
"You could've killed me," Poe argued.
"Yeah, well, I didn't. You know that stupid curse got in the way. Believe me, if the curse didn't exist, I would've torn you apart... And you know it." The Hunter's curse was the only thing stopping vampires such as you from killing hunters like Poe.
If a vampire killed a hunter, the spirit of the hunter would torment the vampire relentlessly for the end of time. Or if the vampire drove a stake through their own heart.
You wiped her chin with the back of your hand and sighed softly. "So, why are you here?" You asked, "You miss me?" You smirked.
"No, I don't," Poe replied, "The Resistance needs your help. We're just asking for some assistance. Then, once the war is over, you can go back to murdering people aimlessly."
"I'm not gonna help you. I like my little neutral alliance. It's... strangely peaceful. I get to kill whoever I want without caring if they're on your side of the First Order's side. And it's not like anyone could come after me. I'm a Sith vampire. I have as much supernatural immunity as you." You rambled.
You took a couple of steps closer to Poe and looked down at his neck, hearing his heartbeat.
You looked up into his eyes and licked your lips.
"Yeah... Thing is... I'm not necessarily asking." Poe said softly. Before you could process what he said, Poe grabbed your throat and slammed your back on a tabletop, holding you down by your neck. He brought up his other hand and stabbed the stake in your chest, causing you to yell in pain.
"Two more inches and I pierce your heart," Poe said, twisting the stake slightly in his hand. You groaned in pain. "So what's it gonna be?" Poe asked.
"God, you're hot..." You whispered softly. You put your hand on his wrist causing his hand to tighten ever so slightly around your throat. "When did you get so hot...?" Poe slowly drove the stake further in her chest, you winced in pain.
"Don't flirt with me."
Your eyes flicked down to the stake and back up at Poe. "You wouldn't..." You argued, "If you did, my entire bloodline would come after you."
"Not like they could kill me," Poe retorted.
"You think the curse is gonna stop them?" You asked, wincing in pain again, "You fuck with one of the Originals and the others will kill you. Curse or not. Besides... You care about me too much to kill me."
Poe leaned down and whispered in your ear, "I couldn't care less about you. Gotta be honest, I might even hate you. So, it looks like our little love story ends here."
You tightened your grip on his wrist and twisted it, pulling his hand off of your neck and a loud snap echoed through the bar. Poe shouted in pain, which alerted Rey and Finn outside, and you kicked him off of her. You pulled the stake out of your heart and got off of the table, the wound already healing.
You grabbed his throat, like what he did to you, and stabbed the stake in his gut, expertly missing everything important. "You hate me?" You asked as Poe groaned from the pain, "That sounds like the beginning of a love story, Poe. Not the end of one." You heard the bar doors open and the footsteps of Rey and Finn coming.
You let go of Poe and used her vampire speed to leave the room before Rey and Finn came into the bar. "Poe!" Finn shouted as he and Rey rushed to Poe's side.
"She doesn't want to help," Poe winced.
"We noticed." Rey retorted.
Poe was fine after a long period of rest. You disappeared again, flying under the First Order's and the Resistance's radar. But Poe's seen the messes she left behind, the amount of people you killed made Poe second guess his belief that you could be good.
The war ended after many more months of fighting. The Resistance didn't need your help to win, but you still would've been a powerful enemy against the First Order. A lot of the vampires went into hiding and the galaxy finally felt peace.
Currently, Poe was back on Yavin IV, his home planet, tending to his x-wing with BB-8 beside him. BB-8 let out an alarmed beep, making Poe turn around. Lingering in the shadows was a figure Poe knew all too well.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked. You stepped out from the overhead shadow and into the light, "I heard the war's over." Poe looked at BB-8, not saying anything. BB-8 turned and rolled away from you two.
"What do you want?" Poe asked.
"I wanted to see you," You replied. "I've been thinking about—"
"—Save it. I don't want to play your games." Poe interrupted.
"Us," You finished her sentence anyways, "I've been thinking about us."
"There is no more 'us'. Not after everything." Poe pointed at you and took one large stride closer to you, "You did this to us."
"And you're right. I know what I did..." You trailed off. Poe could hear the softness in your voice, something was different from the last time they spoke in that bar. "I just... I'm sorry." You spoke softly.
"You turned your humanity back on, didn't you?" Poe asked.
"And I'm off human blood," You continued, "I stopped killing." Poe knew that statement was true, the killings dropped immensely toward the end of the war. You did stop killing.
"Just... Give me another chance. Don't give up on me... please." You pleaded.
"Tell me you didn't come here with the expectation that I would take you back just because you can feel emotions again." You frowned and glanced down.
"I just wanted to see you," You replied, "One last time..." You whispered.
"What does that mean?" Poe questioned.
"I'm..." You trailed off, stumbling slightly because your knees gave out from under you. Poe quickly threw out his arms and caught you before you could hit the ground.
"What’s going on?" Poe asked.
"Some werewolves jumped me a couple days ago..." You explained softly. You grabbed your jacket sleeve and slowly rolled it up your forearm, exposing the infected bite. Poe stared down at the bite mark, shocked.
"Heh... I'm dying..." You chuckled lightly, smiling weakly. Poe reached down and picked up your legs, carrying you bridal style.
"What're you—"
"—Shh."
Poe carried you back to his house and laid you down on his couch in the living room. Poe crouched down beside you and you shifted, getting comfortable.
"Poe..." You muttered.
"Just relax," Poe replied. Poe gently reached up and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"I know... You hate me," You began softly, "And that's fine. But I..." You gently put your hand on his cheek, "I love you, Poe. I always have."
He mumbled your name, then used his hand to lower yours.
"What I felt was real... And I hope what you felt was real too... I just want to ask you one thing." You continued.
"What is it?" Poe asked softly.
"You know no vampire has survived a werewolf bite. And you know how painful a bite is in its final stages... I just want you to..." You stopped, taking deep breaths.
"You're asking me to kill you?" Poe asked.
"You didn't seem to have a problem with it at the bar..." You replied, "Please... I wouldn't have it any other way." Poe looked down in deep thought.
"There's no way around this. I'm not gonna live..." You laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood, "This... This is where our love story ends." Despite the weak smile on your face, tears escaped your eyes.
Poe felt tears prick his eyes, "What about your family?"
"I don't even know where they are..." You answered. "Just do this one thing for me..."
Poe remained silent and stood up. "I'll be right back. Try and rest," He said softly. Poe walked away from you, thinking about his options.
He didn't have many. Let you suffer from the werewolf bite or... just put you out of her misery now. There was no cure for a werewolf bite. You were going to die.
Poe entered his room, feeling a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't want to admit it out loud but he did care about her. Deep down. He did.
Poe pulled out a duffle bag from underneath his bed and unzipped it. He reached inside and pulled out a stake. Poe exited his room and headed back toward you.
Poe gently lifted up your upper body and slipped on the couch under you, resting you back on his chest, putting the stake on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"Hey," Poe said softly, "I'm here. Just breathe."
You slowly looked up at him, "I can't believe I'm about to die with the entire galaxy thinking I'm a monster... Including you," You said.
"You're not a monster. I spent a long time blaming you for what happened between us. I'm sorry. You deserve peace." Poe said, his voice shaking slightly. Your gaze fell and she saw the stake sitting on the table
"Look at me," Poe mumbled, grabbing your chin and turning your head back up to him.
"Careful. I might think you actually care about me." You joked, your breaths getting shallower and shallower.
"Maybe I do." Poe replied, keeping his voice quiet and soft. Poe moved his hand to grab the stake from the table. Your eyes followed his movements.
"Hey, look at me," Poe said, seeing you look away. You gazed back up at him, "Just keep your eyes on me, yeah? Just look at me. Nothing else." You nodded again.
Poe brought the tip of the stake to your chest with shaky hands and then felt your hand on his, telling him that it's okay. "Don't forget me, okay?" You asked softly.
"I won't..." Poe answered, "I'll never forget you." Poe said softly, tears building in his eyes.
You nodded, tears falling down your face. You could feel him moving his hand back. "Wait," You whispered, using your hand to stop his hand, "Tell me you love me... Even if it's a lie. Please..."
"I love you." Poe replied with a shaky tone. Those words brought you a strange sense of peace. You finally felt peace. You leaned your head against his chest and closed your eyes. Poe pulled his hand back slightly and then stabbed your heart.
You gasped and Poe finally let the tears fall. Poe rested his chin on top of your head. Poe looked down and watched your body turn a dark grey color. You were desiccating. You were dead.
Poe sighed defeatedly and planted a kiss on top of your head. "I love you." Poe repeated quietly.
my one tag lol : @damndamer0n
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