#which is a big ol' RELIEF to me bc that's how i've always felt about her but i never thought someone who's not aro would return that

[littlepetbee]

new relationship status: unofficially in a unlabeled platonic partnership with my best friend

#personal #the reason it's unofficial and unlabeled is bc if any Weight was added to our relationship and anything changed abt the way we are #my aro ass would Not be able to handle that lmao #but we've been talking a lot lately about Us and relationships generally and realized that half the reason #neither of us have ever wanted to get married/date/whatever is bc /we/ are each other's People until death do us part #the very thought of anyone coming into our lives that would have to match each other in importance is awful to both of us #she's my number one and i'm hers and nothing has changed about our relationship other than professing our Commitment to each other #that we'll always walk through the world together and any really big decisions will be made collaboratively or with the other in mind #which is a big ol' RELIEF to me bc that's how i've always felt about her but i never thought someone who's not aro would return that #but she was literally the one to bring it up like 'i always feel weird calling what we have a friendship bc i have friends and i have you #and it's not the same thing' #IDK MAN THIS IS PROBABLY OVERSHAREY BUT IT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL TO ME AND I'M REALLY HAPPY #I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS #and i love that she's always called me her 'other half' and now that's more than just a turn of phrase <3

[kae-karo]

Can you give commentary on and p.s. if this is kaeya... ? :D

dw anon i saw your note about the chennett fic! i'm just selfish and want to do both of them :) lmaoooo

for context - send me a fic you want director’s commentary on!

and p.s. if this is kaeya... - kaeluc

okay critically important if u have never heard the song that this is based on, check it out (x) vaguely this was inspired by sitting in the car with my fam a few months back and hearing this song on the radio (my dad exclusively listens to 2000s country, jimmy buffett, and queen) and my sister, who is an aggressively supportive ally, going 'every time i hear this song i imagine that it's about a guy named austin and i just change the pronouns when i sing it to make it gay'

so obviously, i had to make it abt kaeluc

(He wants to call Diluc.)

rose was my first exposure to people using parentheses in fic which sounds very strange as a comment to make but i do always associate it with her now lmaoooo. i rarely if ever do it in my fics (actually this might be the first one genshin-wise that i've done it in?) but it felt appropriate as a way to let kaeya express his emotions without expressing them

Do I remember that you were planning to propose to me?

okay so my biggest struggle in suiting this to kaeluc aside from the obvious 'they are not the stereotypical men portrayed in a country song' was figuring out what the hell would separate them. bc of the nature of the song, i didn't want to make it a messy/angsty breakup, but it had to be Big Enough that kaeya would just straight up not want to go near diluc for a long time

i did actually consider flipping their roles here, but i do often write a pining kaeya and a distant diluc, so it was fun to swap the typical dynamic a little bit. and ofc, diluc pre-crepus-death always strikes me as a i know what i want and i'm not afraid to go after it kind of vibe, so it fit well with the idea that he'd want to propose to kaeya

Voicemail, he chides, half in relief and half disappointment.

absolutely wild that this song was made in an era of answering machines cause i was like 'an-answering machine??? tf???' lsdfjljsklfsdjkl and had to very intentionally go fix all the times i said that without realizing it lmao

“If you’re calling with the intent to sell me something, please do not bother with a message, I have no interest in buying.”

okay there was a lot of adjusting of the actual voicemails from the song ofc, namely to make sure they fit diluc's voice, but i tried to keep the spirit of them, to let kaeya build diluc's character accordingly (and flesh out the idea of his relationship with him - and what they no longer have)

He won’t say a word, Diluc deserves that.

the other piece of this ofc was building out the way kaeya left, the reasons behind it - namely, his fears that he wasn't ever going to be good enough for diluc (hence his fight-or-flight making him run). this piece didn't come naturally at first but once i tracked it down, it fit well, esp considering how inclined i am to write kaeya as self-deprecating and self-sabotaging

“Advice? Tell me what to do?”

i love love LOVE bffs rosaria and kaeya and this only compounded after the bartender event. but i love rosaria's line abt how kaeya just basically talks about everything when he's drunk and love putting that to good use in fics

“You love him.”

“I know.”

ahhh the good ol' accidental admission. which, for him is like the world-ending type of admission in spite of the fact that rosaria's just chillin like 'babe u got it bad u never stopped loving him and he obviously never stopped loving u suck it up and call him' lksdfkjld. i love her being a force for calm in the midst of kaeya's dramatics

That’s too big a question for three years and a ring he’d never been brave enough to admit he wanted.

ngl something abt this line really made me 😭😭 to write,,,,,everything summed up about his departure in one sentence, more or less. everything about how he feels now, too

(But Diluc always deserved better than that, didn’t he?)

yeah okay this is the turning point for kaeya, ultimately. where he stops lamenting 'diluc deserves better' and starts using it as a motivation - and he gets there in words eventually, that diluc deserves better so he will be better, but this is the first point at which it shifts in the other direction (and the first point at which i realized how i wanted to resolve the issue, or what feels like an issue for kaeya at least)

“Will you come home, Kae?”

diluc, who never stopped loving kaeya. i actually struggle a LOT with prescribed lines of dialogue or events (which maybe isn't a bad thing exactly but it does hinder me a bit when it comes to stuff like this) so this was actually a little weird to write all the voicemail lines basically identically to what was originally in the song, but it ended up working out well to give kaeya these intense emotions between lines, in the breaks, and i hope it didn't end up sounding too clunky lmao

Kaeya shies away from the idea that he is someone worth rushing for.

i love fragile kaeya. broken, unsteady, shattered. terrified. at his least composed, least prepared. i think this is where he shines as a character, where we see some really interesting pieces of him that aren't hidden behind witty lines and deflecting answers, and i love to write him this way

(And this time, he intends to keep that promise.)

yes, they do get married (after a bit of a relearning of each other, but it's not hard to fall back into old habits). yes, they do get the house on the lake. klee loves visiting and kaeya's teaching her how to throw a softball with deadly accuracy. kaeya is very bad at bowling but he makes an effort to get better because diluc enjoys it and he wants to share in the things diluc enjoys. diluc and rosaria meet (rosaria actually says 'FINALLY' upon meeting him, which confuses diluc and embarrasses kaeya to no end) and they get along...weirdly well, to kaeya's relief. things are good. they get their well-deserved happy ending

send me a fic you want director’s commentary on!

#kaeluc #luckae #genshin #genshin impact #genshin fic #ask game #fic game #ask #anon #fic directors commentary