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#which is probably why they didn't let him voice fred for velma
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Me walking up to the HBO Velma’s writer’s room:
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Black Panther x Scooby Doo Crossover
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"Raggy!"
"Scoob!"
Scooby jumped into Shaggy's quaking arms. Shaggy was a skinny stoner yet somehow still able to catch a 70 lb great dane on a reflex. Perhaps it was the adrenaline, he was white as the ghosts he saw on an almost daily basis. Scrabbling in mid-air for five seconds, his panic finally drove him away from the threat in a flash.
"Red! Raphne!" Scooby ran on his own four legs knocking down the blonde ascoted himbo. He'd no time to dodge the large great dane barreling dead at him.
"Hey," Fred yelled trying to gather what the hell was this dog's issue now. Had he run out of mustard for his hotdogs? He'd only eaten about 75 for lunch. "Scoob, what's goin on?"
"Rooaaaaasttt!" Scooby was obviously shaken. Despite the fact that most "roasts" were merely criminals in "rasks"..
"Aw Scoob, you probably just stumbled on an old sheet or something." It was Fred's way to be dismissive but Daphne stepped in.
"Fred, maybe we should go check," she insisted using her ginger charm. Fred had a thing for the ging and she knew it. He was wrapped around her press-ons.
Scooby led the way with Shaggy not far behind him as Fred and Daphne escorted them back to the location where the ghost had appeared.
"Well, I don't see anything," Fred pointed out. Indeed there was nothing.
"Hey," a voice called from above. Up in a tree, sitting on a branch sat a man. A black man. They were all confused, never having seen a black man climb a tree. They still hadn't seen it... Somehow he'd just gotten up there... "Y'all are the Mystery Squad," he stated.
"Yeah man," Shaggy stepped forward no longer afraid.
"I thought so I used to watch this show all the--Uh--You know what, nevermind. I didn't mean to scare you guys, I'm kinda in a situation.. Maybe y'all can help?"
The four friends searched each other for any dissent. It was fuck Velma, she'd catch up later if they ever ran into her again. For all they knew she was crawling somewhere searching for her glasses. Why she didn't keep them on a string or wear contacts they'd never know. Maybe she just liked tooting that ass in the air with her skirt on. She surely never wore a scort.
"We could give it a shot," Fred spoke for the group considering himself the leader. "When you say situation..," he paused for the story which the stranger went into as the cameras they were oblivious to blurred and cut to the next scene.
The group now had the complete story and the identified man was none other than Erik Stevens, a man they never heard of because they were created by different studios.
"So you're stuck in our world..?" Fred repeated it like a typical confused man only capable of breaking down small and simplistic bits of information at a time. He needed Velma afterall to state the obvious more clearly in a way that he could understand.
"I don't know what happened," Erik explained once more being used to working with men. "One minute I'm at a Travis Nott concert going through a demonic ass portal of human sacrifice and the next I'm here. I think I really went through a portal and now I don't know how to get back to my own world and time. I ain't got time to stay here, it's nice and all.."
"You must have a good reason why you're in a rush to get back," Fred offered. If only that were the case, Erik had a bank to rob to fund his more noble activities.
"Yeah," he smiled awkwardly as the camera panned to his face, his eyes darting to meet the audience.
"Well, we've never turned down a case yet. Time to do our thing gang," Fred enthused with the equal excitement of the group.
"Roo you pray rasketrall," Scooby microagressed upon seeing Erik's height as he jumped down from the branch. Seems that's what happens to brown dogs raised with white owners. Erik let it slide, not trying to flex a cartoon dog, especially not Scooby. He meant well.
Erik followed the group around the supposedly haunted fair grounds the portal had spit him into. The mystery squad was in town to investigate the recent mysterious happenings. Apparently the old owner had refused to sell the newly haunted grounds and now he was missing. With him gone, the grounds would be sold. The team had to figure out two things. One, what ghost was haunting the grounds scaring away customers. Two, where on earth was Mr. Fairfax the grounds owner. There had to be an answer, they only had about 20 more minutes of programming time to figure it out.
"Really," Erik stared while the crew searched for clues. Poor Velma had finally appeared but wouldn't find an answer until the last minute and Erik refused to be in 2 episodes though he loved the show, he had things to do. "Velma I know you got this," he offered throwing her a bone since she looked like she wanted to jump his. He didn't figure her for a fan of the chocolate. Ascoted himbos seemed more her speed.. "But I'm a go ahead and solve this now if you don't mind. I think Fairfax was kidnapped and the same people who grabbed him are the same ones trying to scare people away from the fair grounds. It's whoever's trying to buy it. Find them you find your culprit and you'll find Fairfax. There's your motive. There's your case. Now let's focus on getting me back to Oakland.. MY Oakland."
The squad stood completely stunned to silence as Erik stared back.
"Y'all good," he asked.
Fred blinked and checked his watch. They hadn't even gotten a chance to run in opposite directions across the scene to decade-specific theme music. He felt robbed.
"Jinkies," Velma exclaimed in awe. She'd never met anyone intelligent before. Her thirst intensified.
Sighing, Fred agreed to end the bullshit early and rescue poor Mr. Fairfax instead of making him wait cramped up in a random closet or storm shelter or wherever it was he was being held. It ended up being a closet and as Erik said the culprit was exactly who they expected. Somehow they were still surprised on the unveiling. They all gasped in shock and though no one called the police, they suddenly appeared.
"Officer arrest this man," Fred pointed proudly at the villain, turning in confusion when they cuffed Erik instead. "Uh, officers? You've got the wrong guy," he explained full of caucasian innocence.
"He fit the description," the cop retorted squeezing the cuffs extra tight and using unnecessary force.
"HEY," Fred yelled protectively with Shaggy and Scooby backing him for support. Suddenly Shaggy and Scooby had bass. "This is WRONG," Fred stated eloquently somehow changing the hearts of the officers who released Erik letting him go with bowed heads hung in shame.
The true villain left in police custody and Erik shook himself off with a new respect for his friends.
"You guys," Velma pointed having finally cleaned her foggy ass glasses after an entire episode. "There's a portal!"
Erik looked at the rift in space and time and back to the crew who had treated him more kindly than most. He understood on a deeper level why he loved this show so much. They smiled at him, seeing him off, waving as he walked into the void getting sucked into it.
"Byeeee," they all yelled, their voices turning into one sound.. the sound of an alarm. He was back. It was night and he was in bed, watching Scooby-Doo. Well.. It was watching him.
He looked at the calendar on his iPhone. He hadn't missed anything. The heist was still on. It was funny actually. He laughed to himself. Solving a case with a criminal in a mask only to come back home and become a criminal in a mask.
Good thing the police in the real world were equally as stupid, he smirked laying his head back down. He flexed his toes feeling warm and toasty. Big day of theft in the morning, he needed his rest.
The End
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