now that i'm thinking about him, i told my first crush to his face that my dad said no dating until i'm 30 (insane that i took that seriously) and he was like "shit." years later he casually brought that up and said "you know, i had a crush on you then." i didn't say it back. we both turned out to be bi men which makes it feel more special somehow. wonder how he's doing.
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okay who is going to offer to approach ME politely at a slight run, apologize for coming off as stalkerish, explain that I was spotted from across the street, offer to carry my bags, invite me to a ball, backtrack hastily in a bit of a panic because that might've been too big a step, and ask me out to coffee instead, and THEN ask me in the same gentle voice to please consider it all while practically vibrating with nerves, fidgeting, and staring wide-eyed at me the whole time?
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I'm realising that my chronic pain doesn't really stop me from doing things as often as I thought, at least with how my life has been going lately. What stops me from doing pretty much anything is the horrific dizziness and chest pain I get from doing any kind of activity for more than a couple minutes. I've tried explaining this to doctors, but since cardiology won't see me and whatever tests they do are "within normal ranges", it never goes anywhere.
Standing, walking, or literally any upright activity makes me so lightheaded and disoriented that I don't feel safe doing those things. I haven't had any falls yet, but that's because I try very very hard to prevent them. I've had many MANY close calls. It is terrifying.
I don't really know what to do about it.
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@beatingheart-bride
"I think that's more than enough raspberries for me!" Dorian laughed, quite liking this solution-the raspberry in the center would make for a pleasant surprise when the cake was sliced into, and the blueberry frosting, a lovely pale blue shade, made for a lovely, picture-perfect cake, with the blueberry and raspberry garnishes topping them a welcome addition.
(What a shame they wouldn't actually get to eat any of it!)
"But is it enough blueberry for you, my dear?" he asked her teasingly, enjoying the game they'd made of this, bantering back and forth with one another, their banter (however platonic it was at heart) seeming much more romantic to those around them-they must've looked like the sweetest pair of lovebirds in all of New Orleans to everyone (oh, if only they knew)!
He had to say, Emily was an excellent actress in her own right; she made a great show of appearing as the happiest bride in all the South, a performance everyone was falling for, hook, line, and sinker! He couldn't have asked for a better co-star in this endeavor, his smile genuine as he made a note to compliment her on her performance later...
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