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johns-prince · 4 months

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John was prone to extremes in thinking, feeling, and doing. Either you did or you didn't. Yes or no. You're with him on it 110% or you're out.

Paul wasn't, still isn't. I've always got the impression Paul is much more willing to compromise, especially if it meant he'd be getting his cake and eating it too. Which... Might be it's own extreme.

This isn't to say this is strict; Paul could be stubborn and uncompromising, and John could be much more willing and easy in making truces, if it still benefitted him. Two sides of the same coin, push and pull. There's always nuance.

I only think, Paul's much more particular about believing he can have what he wants, what he needs, without having to make any major compromise. As long as he can have his cake and eat it too.

This is part of what I think put an extra strain between him and John.

I've always believed John is the exception to Paul's sexuality. Paul does love women, he's only ever shown explicit attraction towards women. The only noticeable, explicit exception to this has been John.

What John means to Paul, and vice versa, has always been complex and indefinable. Their relationship is a spectrum of best friends, partners/collaborators, brothers, lovers, rivals, allies, husband and wife, divorcees, widowers, etc etc and the whole thing goes around and around. Subconsciously and consciously.

I think Paul was attracted to John, personally and physically. John was a force, and he came from a higher class, and he was very intelligent and very talented, despite being very lazy and quick to becoming bored. Paul seems to have a fondness for recalling John's hands, how he stood when playing, his nose.

Paul likened creating music to that of sex and orgies, though if done with the right person. John was that person. He'd been that person for Paul since he was a teenager, and for ten years, and then a haunting muse and inspiration years after.

Whether they were ever sexually intimate together, honestly, we'll never really know. There's very interesting, eye-brow raising, side-eyeing moments and interactions between them that suggests something happened (looking at you India)

What I do know is that Paul and John were a very, very strong partnership. Their chemistry was obvious, watching them work together was always fascinating to outsiders. Attached at the hip, Siamese twins. They did in fact love and care for each other.

To what extent this love went, maybe or maybe not the physical realm, but it surpassed the normal bounds of platonic and familial.

I just think, it would've been kind of delusional of Paul to think, he could have John, his soulmate, collaborator, and best friend, making music and other artistic ventures together; and, get to have his wife, along with kids, too.

Not when these two would describe their relationship akin to marriage, girlfriends and boyfriends, fiances, their creating music like an act of sex.

Why it worked with John having a wife, Cynthia, is because in all honestly, she wasn't a threat. She didn't threaten the Beatles, and she really didn't threaten Paul's relationship with John.

Why it wasn't working with Linda, and why it most certainly didn't work with Yoko, is because both women posed a threat to, maybe not exactly the Beatles as a band as they did to the relationship that was Lennon-McCartney. They were serious, the real deal, because they were much more involved (intentionally or not)

Linda could provide to Paul what he, apparently, couldn't get from John, their partnership.

Yoko was willing to give to John what he yearned for, that Cynthia apparently couldn't give, and that Paul might've refused to give, or in John's mind, rejected him.

But you have Paul wanting both his cake and to eat it too and you know what, I'd probably be frustrated too, if I was John, and if John really did hold deeper feelings for his partner and closest friend.

No one is owed anyone's feelings of affection, but I have to speculate how exactly it went, between Paul and John, when the whole group was coming up to crossroads and what decisions made there would determine what happened next.

Paul picking Linda, marrying her, probably felt like an affront to John, by how he acted and behaved. The fear of no longer being the Most Important Person in Paul's Life. Paul didn't love him like John wanted him too.

But Paul did, of course, he was heartbreakingly obvious of how he felt towards John during Get Back, and his attitude towards Yoko.

Paul probably found it very rational that he could have his wife (sexual partner) and have John (his... Pseudo sexual partner? Creative partner) and it'd be just fine and dandy. But that's only true if their relationship was a normal one to begin with, if their friendship was a rationally reasonable one.

John was always possessive over Paul, whether it be with new friends (Tara Browne) or all his little girlfriends. He never liked them, John and Jane were known for disliking each other outright. John wanted to do everything with Paul, like LSD. John didn't share his people, he just didn't.

He chose Paul, made the conscious decision to do so, and up until the end, he believed Paul chose him too.

Paul did, he very much did, but I think maybe he overestimated just how dependent John was of him, and just how insecure he was in the love that Paul had for him.

Though perhaps the same could be said about Paul, because once John made it obvious that Yoko was now his everything, his New Creative ""Soulmate'', Paul nearly broke in half. Can no longer rationalize the "have my cake and eat it too" as John was not willing to compartmentalize his relationships and feelings to two different people, like Paul was. That's just not him.

So Paul got none of him.

And I know this post is dragging on but, one more, super interesting thought.

John had a sexual attraction to both men and women. Okay. It's not like he couldn't just, go get his kicks with another man, if Paul wasn't biting, wasn't giving.

But their relationship was not that simple. Sexual intimacy was probably not all John wanted from Paul, if my theorizing is correct in the slightest. It was either the last step or last leap of them becoming everything to each other. John did put those he loved through tests of patient, loving resilience. Why wouldn't this be one? Not even just the sex but just, giving everything to each other knowingly, and without guards and blinders.

John made the conscious decision to love, and obsess, over Paul. He makes these decisions, just like he did with Yoko. He didn't have too. Paul really isn't the only beautiful, talented man in this world.

But to John, he was. No one compared, I guess. No one could replace Paul. That's love. Not just, physical attraction and the idea of satiating a curious sexual desire with your best friend.

On the other hand, Paul, in my opinion, really is set on women. John's just the exception, and he's always been his exception. Which is probably frightening to confront, at least back then, so I can't really blame him if he'd fumbled it with trying to compromise with whatever John might've wanted from him and their relationship. Or him even rejecting John, despite the fact.

What Linda said, "Paul is desperate to write with John... John is just desperate to write again." That sticks with me, because it's so THEM. It's what I've tried encapsulating in this post, which I've probably failed.

Paul and John could stand on their own two feet, outside of the Beatles, I'll agree. Very talented in their own rights.

But Paul wanted to write with John again, not just, some nobody. Desperate, he was desperate to be around John, and to bring back that (sexual) creative bond they once had. He's never been this deadset on another man he's worked with, he's never been desperate.

John wanted to write again. Thing is, John had made his choice, picking Yoko over Paul (for various reasons) just like he could, and did, pick her as his new wife/sexual partner, over Paul (in spite of Paul) but he couldn't ever let go of Paul. Clearly, from what we know, he never stopped thinking about Paul. It's known he wasn't getting from Yoko what he had gotten with Paul, though, in terms of creative partnership... And even general.

I believe he missed it just as bad as Paul did. He missed them.

Linda saw it, knew it, could probably feel it the few times Paul and John did get together. What Paul may have told her, revealed his true feelings about the band, about John, to her.

I can't really fault Paul or John from the course in life they chose, not really. I don't think either of them knew how to deal with what was going on between them, twin flames, soulmates. They dealt with it in different ways, two different extremes, which was part of why it all ended so bitterly and tragically like lovers falling out.

Paul couldn't have his cake and eat it too, not here. John couldn't get Paul fully, completely, totally, and because of that, Paul couldn't have any of John.

#mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney #y'all im so sorry its so long idk what this even is 😩

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cinnabun-faerie · 2 years

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Things I hope I end up writing/want to write at some point (This may be a wishlist to myself since I haven't been feeling 100% in the writing mood):

{hello btw! It's 5am. holy chicken nuggets. Anyways, yeah I'm very sleep deprived. Whoever is reading, I think you're awesome and I hope you have a great day/night. I'm sorry if this post is annoying}

General Stuff

Character birthdays by zodiac signs 🥰

does anyone else like celebrating fictional characters' birthdays?

Fun fact two of my favorite characters are also Libras like me! (Kirishima & Satan). Tannie's birthday is only a day after mine too

anyways

top 10s ! I like seeing how things evolve over time

Hot takes/People sending in asks about what I think about a particular character or game

like idk "Why do you friendzone Thancred, Grey?" Because my friend is in love with him and I will never take her man. But Estinien we have agreed to share.

or similar, "What characters do I feel is off limits cause my friends like them?" I have a list.

Or "Would you trade your best friend(s) for a fictional character? If so, which character(s)?"

go ahead, someone please ask me this.

I feel like I would be curious of what people would ask me 🤔 I'd be down to answer what I can

like it could even be about characters. Like who I think would friends in crossover situations. There's one that is my absolute headcanon between ffxiv x obey me

please chat with me sometimes, i get lonely and its nice to interact with you

i'd love to talk about my d&d game that is MHA themed!

I'm tempted to make content for Blush Blush 😭 but I've already too many characters to write

There's not a lot of content for it on here

30 Day writing challenge for certain holidays. Like last year I did one for BTS/ViXX on Halloween

This year maybe I can do like a romantic month with a mix of ffxiv, obey me, mha and danganronpa

or OR 🥰 a Hogwarts themed challenge that include the series' I write for

that way I'd have a reason to write it

I'm open to ideas

I'm going to do Halloween again this time (but with the current series') so that will be fun

🤔 there was something else that I wanted to say but I can't remember is

FFXIV