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persephone-andromeda · 5 years

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Part 3

Pairing: Alex Hogh x OC

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 1,411

It’s all over social media and by all over social media, I mean I made it to the Google Discover page. Now everyone can read about how I punched my therapist in the face. I try to open the article, but Alex plucks my phone from my hands.

“Hey!”

“Hay is for horses,” he says and tucks my phone away in his jacket. “Stop looking at it and come out with me. No, we’re not going to the club. Dinner, you and me.”

“And Marco, and Gee, and…”

I can feel his eyeroll from my spot on the couch. I’m curled up as much as I can be as I try my best to hide from the world. But I can’t seem to hide from Alex anymore.

“That was one time. I’m never going to hear the end of it, am I?”

I shake my head but smile a little. At least I know my sense of humor is still intact, what’s left of it. I really don’t want to go out since the article has been posted of my mistake, another one to add to the long list I already have going, and I’m certain that we’ll be spotted, not because of the blood red hair cropped to my shoulders that’s become my discerning feature, but because the article raises questions. What was I going to therapy for? What secrets does my ex-therapist have to exploit? What dirt is in my past?, etc.

“Alex, I don’t think it’s a good idea. People-” I start to protest but he strides over and picks me up, shrieking and all. “Put me down, Andersen!”

One of the things about Alex is that he’s a good listener, but only when he wants to be. Sometimes I think he purposely ignores me just to piss me off and other times he listens when I don’t want him to, which is partially the reason he discovered my drug issues. To this day, I still wish he hadn’t walked into my apartment when he did, and I curse myself for giving him the spare key. Right now, he’s ignoring my protests as he carries me over to the doorway and plopping me down on the floor. I cross my limbs and huff.

“Evna, Google isn’t TMZ. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll be fine and by this time tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll be gone, and people will forget about it, if anyone has actually taken the time to read it.”

I still don’t turn to face him and even purposely turn my whole body away just to annoy him. He just sits right behind me and rests his chin on my head. Another thing about him is that he’s persistent. I keep my resolve for a little while longer as he just sits but melt a little when he wraps his arms around me. Curse him for being so perfect.

“Fine,” I let out in an exaggerated groan of defeat. “But I want to be home by ten and I’m wearing the wig.”

He kisses my head.

“As the lady wishes.”

****

By the time we arrive at Jagger, my head is itching from the brown wig that makes me less noticeable, and it’s past six and it’s not as crowded as I thought it would be. Only two tables out front are occupied with the white chairs catching the setting rays of the sun. He lets go of my hand to open the door and I step inside, instantly feeling at ease. Alex tells me to pick a table and I look to one of the tables by the window but feel that anyone walking by could see us. Alex would say I’m just being paranoid.

I sigh and slide into the chair and look out the glass to watch cars and people go by. Despite my vast array of issues that have been exasperated with fame, I still love this city. It’s a beautiful place to be and I know that this is my home, but I still think of my birthplace and that many what if’s if my mother had kept me. At least I have Alex.

He takes the seat opposite me with the tray a few minutes later and I can’t pass up the opportunity to tease him.

“So, if this is your idea, I can’t wait to see what you come up with for an actual dinner date.”

He rolls his eyes again as he pops a fry into his mouth.

“Relax, flame. You don’t have to worry your pretty little head about it. Alex has got everything under control.”

A little spark of hope blooms up in my chest. All teasing aside, I would love to work up the courage to ask him on a proper date so I could stop with the teasing and the flirting and finally be secure in something I want. But that’s never going to happen. He’s Alex and I’m trying to recover drug addict Evna.

But I need to know if there’s even a slight chance that maybe he, or someone else, could ever love me. I know he’ll be honest, at least try to be, but I want an answer, even if I don’t want to hear it.

“I want to ask you something, but I want you to be honest with me,” I say as I look up at him and not at my fries. “I want you to tell me the truth, even if it’ll hurt my feelings.”

He sets his burger down and wipes his hands on the napkin before leaning on the counter to look at me.

“Should I be scared?”

“No.” I shake my head and regret saying that. Of course he should be. “Do you think I’m too fucked up to be loved?” I ask as I swirl a fry in the paper cup that he filled with ketchup for me.

His silence is deafening, and I look up at him trying to process what I asked. Or maybe he’s trying to make up a lie. He opens his mouth but closes it as he lets out a sigh, munching on another fry, before leaning forward to look me in the eyes, and I get lost, but only for a moment.

“I think if you keep thinking that way about yourself, you will be.”

“That’s not an answer, Alex.”

“Well, that’s all I got for you, Evna. I don’t know how to answer that or if I even want to.”

I withdraw with my arms close together on the table and look down at my food once more. My appetite is out the window.

“I’m sorry,” I speak softly.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just….” He pauses to collect his thoughts. “You’ve been through a lot and those experiences have changed you, but we all have a lot more changing to do before we die. Where you are now isn’t going to be the final Evna. Are you flawed? Yes, but so is everyone else. You and I, Marco, Gee, Jordan, all of us now have every inch of our private lives underneath a microscope for people to see and interpret as they see fit and that’s not fair, never will be, but we’ve got to be the best we can despite that.” He takes his hands in mine as I look up at him with watery eyes. “You are not your mistakes, okay? We all mess up in life and that’s just how it is but you cannot let that from preventing you from doing what you love or being who you want to be. I believe in you, Evna, and I know that you will overcome this. This is not the end of your story or of Mernin for that matter. I think she’s still going to kick Ivar’s ass into the next century.”

I laugh and wipe my eyes with the napkin in front of me and Alex wipes away the tears I’ve missed.

“Thank you,” I say as I squeeze his hands in mine.

He leans across the counter to kiss me and for those few seconds, I feel the high I so desperately crave seep into my veins, and I believe him. I believe his words that I can be better. As we part and finish our food, I know that there’s no chance for us to be together. I won’t be alive long enough to see it.

TAGS: @unbetaedimagines @i-am-amora-the-enchantress

#the many downfalls of evna stravoninsky #alex hogh #alex hogh x oc #alex hogh x oc series #alex hogh andersen #alex hogh andersen x oc #alex hogh andersen x oc series

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black-out-wonder · 6 years

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Still Alive (Virgil Sanders Human!AU One-Shot)

Warnings: Talk of suicide, suicidal thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, mentions of depression and anxiety, mentions of an arugument, self-deprecation

This is basically a vent fic because I had to use the StillAlive.org crisis line the other day because it was really bad for me. It helped me and if you are in a moment of crisis, and you A. Have no one to talk to or B. Can’t or wont talk on the phone for any reason, use this chatline. Stay safe <3

Virgil’s finger froze as he stared blankly at the “Click here to chat” button on the screen. What the hell am I doing? He wondered. The browser page, Still Alive, glared at him through the darkness of his room. The webpage itself was calm and welcoming, telling him to click the button to talk to a volunteer. He found this website through his friend-or ex friend-Logan. He had described it, saying that it was meant for people who couldn’t or wouldn’t talk to people on the phone. It was meant for people who were considering suicide.

Well, you could say that he was having second thoughts about waking up the next morning.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he clicked the button, wincing at the noise of the mouse. A screen loaded, asking him to put in information. He didn’t want to put in all of this information. He didn’t want some random person to know exactly who he was. He was about to click away, giving into his urges when he noticed the “anonymous” checkbox. He released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

There were still some questions he needed to answer, but nothing as bad as the first option. Just asking his gender, age, who he lived with, how he found the website, etc. He hesitated before entering the information. If he put all of this in and actually connected, there would be no turning back. Before he could change his mind, he entered the chat.

A message popped up as he was brought to the chat page. They were connecting him to a volunteer. His heart began to race as a few moments passed. What if he wouldn’t get connected? What if the Wifi went out for some reason? Too many what ifs. His eyes trailed over to his dresser, where a bottle of medication sat. His sleep medication. It would be so easy…just like falling asleep…

Suddenly, a soft beep brought him out of his thoughts. “Your volunteer as entered the chat” is said now. In the corner of the screen, it said: “Alex typing” in very small letters. His heart pounded against his chest, his hands growing sweaty and shaky. What would this person say? Was this a real person? What would they say?

Alex: Hello. May I ask for your name?

It was such a simple question, one that shouldn’t have been a problem to answer. The problem was his name. Not many people had it. What if this person knew him? With shaky fingers, he typed out a reply.

Anonymous8902: you can call me V.

Alex typing…

Alex: Okay V. What brings you to Still Alive?

Another question that held way too much weight. What did bring him there exactly? Logan had explained it as a place to talk if you had nowhere else to go. He wasn’t sure if he had mentioned it because he knew Virgil was at risk. He knew that his friends-or past friends-had to suspect something, but they never knew the real extent of it.

Anonymous8902: im not really sure…i was told that this was for people who wanted to die.

The volunteer replied back very quickly.

Alex: V, have you thought about committing suicide?

His first instinct was to lie. He lied to everyone about what he wanted. He would say he was okay, even when he wasn’t. But this was different. He slowly typed his reply.

Anonymous8902: yeah

Alex typing…

Alex: Have you made a plan?

Anonymous8902: not yet. not set in stone.

He nearly had a heart attack when he sent that. Why did he send that? They were going to send the police and he couldn’t let that happen! They would send him to the hospital and ask him too many invading questions. He would have to tell them things, or he would have to lie, which made him even more anxious.

Alex typing…

Alex: So, you do not have a plan at the present time?

Anonymous8902: no

Alex: That’s good. If you would like, we can continue to chat. Your safety is most important.

Anonymous8902: its really not

Alex: It seems you feel like you don’t deserve to be safe.

It was heavy talk time, and Virgil knew it. He didn’t want to spill his heart to some stranger, but at the same time, he did. He wanted to tell this person everything wrong with him. He just wanted to get out of the haze of despair and anxiety that seemed to fill his being.

Anonymous8902: i dont deserve to feel safe. i dont even deserve to live. all i do is hurt people.

The honesty in his statement shocked him. He had never told anyone that before, not even his fr-ex friends.

Alex typing…

Alex: It seems like you feel like you don’t deserve life because you don’t offer anything but pain.

Anonymous8902: i feel that way because its true. everyone says it, so it must be

Alex: You seem to believe what others say about you more than what you think of yourself.

Virgil clenched his jaw at the message. Why did this person have to be so accurate? It would be better if this person wasn’t so spot on about everything.

Anonymous8902: yeah, sounds like me

Alex typing…

Alex: V, was there something that triggered your crisis?

He froze once more. There was a trigger, but it was his fault in the first place. If he would only get over himself, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place. All of his stupid negativity and emptiness and…just everything.

Anonymous8902: yeah. i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a while ago, but i never told my friends. it was a rough day for me, but i was supposed to do something with them. i couldnt even bring myself to call them. it was really important and i skipped it. one of them called me and said that i was a horrible friend.

Alex typing…

Alex: You seem to be blaming yourself for a situation that was completely out of your control.

Anonymous8902: but it was in my control. i couldve told them about it or called and made up a valid excuse! i left them hanging and they were really hurt. this wasnt the first time either

Alex: V, I want you to know that it’s okay to ask for help and having a rough day because of your mental illness is a valid reason. Have you considered telling them about your condition?

Of course, he did. He thought about it every day when he talked to them. Then Roman would flash him a carefree grin, throwing a playful insult his way, or Patton would give him one of his warm hugs, or Logan would overshare on a subject that fascinated him, and he always threw away the idea. Things wouldn’t be the same. They would definitely treat him different like he was delicate.

Anonymous8902: yeah i have, but i dont want things to change

Alex typing…

Alex: What would change?

Anonymous8902: everything. they would see me differently. they liked me for who i am now, why would i want to change that?

Alex: Do you fear that they would turn away from you if they saw your troubles?

He nodded to himself before replying once more.

Anonymous8902: why wouldnt they?

Alex typing…

Alex: There is nothing wrong with letting someone in and talking to them. I know it must hurt to have loved ones turn away. They may be confused by the space between you guys and they are lashing out.

That did make a lot of sense. It was definitely in Roman’s character to lash out when he was confused about something. Why was this person so good at talking to him?

Anonymous8902: but how to i connect with them? i dont even know where to start

Alex typing…

Alex: You could try telling them about your condition and why you weren’t able to go where you needed to. If they are your friends, they will understand. Change is not necessarily a bad thing. It is a natural thing that allows you to grow as a person. Yes, it may seem scary now, but you will be able to look back and be glad that you took the first step.

Virgil could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He hated that this person was so spot on.

Anonymous8902: youre right…i need to tell them…thank you

Alex typing: How are you feeling now?

How was he feeling? He wasn’t feeling great still, but he didn’t seem to be at rock bottom either. He was…drifting.

Anonymous8902: better. a lot better

Alex typing…

Alex: When you disconnect from this chat, what do you plan to do?

Anonymous8902: talk to my friends. im better now. thanks again. im going to go

Alex: I’m glad you’re feeling better. Goodbye!

Anonymous8902: bye

As he exited the browser page, he let out a shuddering breath. He stared at his desktop background for a few moments, soaking in everything. He just told a random stranger his fears and insecurities, and it actually helped. He knew now what he had to do.

He leaned over to grab his phone, dialing the first number that came to mind. He held it to his ear, praying that he would answer. That he would allow him to speak. When he does answer the phone, Virgil closes his eyes.

“Hey, Roman. I am really sorry for not making it today. I really need to tell you something…”

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #virgil sanders fic #virgil sanders angst #suicide #tw #angst #mentions of suicide #sanders sides fanfic #virgil sanders fanfic #virgil #shay writes

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phxsunsm · 7 years

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FINALE REACTION

Hey everyone

I see a lot of people are disappointed about the finale.

While I would have loved a twist that Bethany was alive and was AD, it was still really cool that Twincer was actually AD.

There have been so many theories on here for the past season or so about this possibility. I feel like many of the people disappointed are overreacting. I agree that they could have done some things differently throughout the series (more on NAT club, Bethany, Wren, Aria’s time in Iceland, etc) and maybe made a few more deep and disturbing twists, but isn’t the fun of making theories to actually find out that we were right about certain things all along?

I feel like people are disappointed because everyone on tumblr is too smart and figured things out and now it seems “predictable”, but if you just watch the show at face value and had never read everyone else’s theories, yes there were a few clues here and there about Twincer, but the show did not make that possibility predictable in any way - there were still tons of clues that we could have pointed at other people. So my point is that we should be excited that one of our very cool fan theories actually happened, as opposed to acting disappointed because we kind of saw it coming. If it turned out Paige or some dumbass reveal was the finale, everyone would be on here like “damn they should have just done the Twincer reveal, that would have made so much sense”. We have to accept that there were tons of twists throughout this show and they can’t do everyone of our fan theories. I’ve seen a lot of comments about “what happened that night” - well, Bethany was killed by accident! For four seasons we thought Ali was dead! Bethany was very relevant to the plot of the show - her being dead resulted in us being introduced to the fact that Ali was alive! There were tons of twists like Eza writing the book, Cece being Charles took us all by surprise and was interesting. The Bethany killing Toby’s mom plot line was interesting and made her relevant for that purpose. I know a lot of people didn’t like that storyline but it was definitely twisted and shocking - the main criticism being what did the liars ever do to Cece. Well she just was a bit of psycho and wanted to torture them - she’s a villain for a reason. She was jealous of them all after being thrown away in Radley. Then we got the whole Mary Drake reveal being Jessica’s twin was surprising and fun and then Spencer being her daughter - yes we had some theories about that being a possibility but it wasn’t super predictable, we had theories it could be Wren or tons of other people too. Then finally tonight with it being Spencer’s twin was very cool that one of our main theories was right.

I just want everyone to remember how much fun and surprising and crazy stuff has happened throughout this show and to not complain for the sake of the writers not doing your particular theory or that your theories are all “better”. The most prominent theory on here the last few months was Twincer, so they did our “better” theory in the finale! Let’s be excited about that!

I think if you consider some of the other theories or possibilities, there would be an extreme amount of things that wouldn’t make sense:

-Ezra: had no real connection to Cece, why would he care about finding her killer?

-Melissa: was semi-friends but not BFF’s or anything with Cece, everyone thinks she should have been AD for various reasons, but Melissa just looked sketchy before cuz she was trying to be careful knowing she killed Bethany (and before knowing that being paranoid that she may have killed someone if Ali was truly alive - a lot of the NAT stuff seems “unresolved” but that’s not really the case, it was just high school kids playing around in a club, they got Toby and Jenna on tape which had relevance. Melissa yelling “where is she” doesn’t have to have some higher meaning, she was pissed about Ali being with Ian)

If you think about other possibilities, there would be way more loose ends that what we have now, where there really aren’t many loose ends in my opinion. What they’ve done makes sense. It wouldn’t have for so many other characters. Imagine if they made Bethany AD and alive somehow, that would have been so confusing and messed up. If Cece was Bethany or some sort of switcheroo theory, things wouldn’t have made sense easily either.

I think there’s a big difference between the show having the potential to do more storylines with the NAT club, with Bethany, Wren, etc versus there being unanswered questions. I think we’re more disappointed that there weren’t more crazy twists with these things. But ultimately there aren’t really many unanswered questions here. To me, I just wonder why Wren was so sketchy with Mona in Radley that time (he didn’t know Twincer yet I don’t think at that time). And if the show had taken these other directions, then maybe we wouldn’t have Mary Drake and all these cool Spencer storylines with the twin or Cece’s whole story. They really made a lot of cool family secrets there which I enjoyed. (I think they could have done a better job explaining why Sara Harvey and Charlotte were friends, like why was Charlotte so loyal to her to become red coat and black veil? but whatever that’s not necessarily the biggest deal)

So overall I liked the finale episode, really sad that there’s nothing more to theorize about, would have loved if throughout the show they took a few more risks/developed some plot points they opened up and could have done more with, but I think we aren’t left with something illogical or tons of plot holes/unanswered questions. I’m satisfied for sure. We can’t expect every fan theory to happen and got a lot of them right and should feel happy about that because so many theories were really smart and the show ended up doing some of that with tonight’s reveal. Just because we have a good tumblr community that can figure things out doesn’t make the show any less entertaining. It shouldn’t anyways. One thing I would have loved is if this Alex Drake was revealed to have known Wren from the beginning and manipulated both Mona and Cece into being A first (so Mona and Cece still having the same motivations to be A, just not doing it on their own accord). I didn’t like how one person had to take it from the next and pass the baton. I think that’s one small change that would have been awesome to show that this has been relevant since season 1. But it doesn’t change the fact that everyone had valid reasons to be A and the show is about bullying - just because the liars all didn’t commit some huge crime, doesn’t stop someone from bullying them. Bullies bully without having been bullied first by the people they’re tormenting. If you think about it, the whole show wouldn’t have started if Ali hadn’t bullied Mona - she only threw the rock at Bethany by mistake because she wanted to hurt Ali for bullying her and the liars all were friends with Ali and didn’t do anything to stop Ali’s bullying for example, so Mona had reason to torture them. Cece had her childhood taken away and lost out on having friends so it makes sense she was mad about all that and tortured them. For Twincer, it’s very similar reasoning. I think that all the big reveals have made sense at the end of the day and that any unanswered questions are minimal and are more things that we wish they would have done more with certain storylines - ex: Bethany storyline more could have been done, but it wasn’t. And it fully makes sense, nothing is really unanswered about her.

Also, it’s cool that they honored the books Twin story. Imagine they had made AD Ali’s twin. Everyone would’ve thought that was so stupid. They made a similar storyline with Spencer but weaved into that the whole Mary Drake/Jessica storyline and the Cece storyline. They ventured out from the books quite a bit while still honoring the books’ original plot.

Any criticism of the show’s ending shouldn’t be that it doesn’t make sense. It does. Any disappointment that we feel is the fact that the show is over, we can’t make any more theories, and that we would have liked certain other plot points developed throughout the show. But let’s not overanlyze every little thing that happened and say that “we didn’t get answers”. Who cares how the moms got out of the basement, etc. Even things like “Maya Knew” - we can assume that she knew Mona was A for example.

Sorry this was a very long post, but I just wanted to try to remind everyone how much fun we’ve all had with this show and that it’s sad it’s over and there’s nothing more to theorize about. It feels like there’s an emptiness right now. Let’s all digest this finale and the past 7 seasons!

Feel free to message me to discuss further!

#pll #pll theories

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fairyfairypie · 7 years

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tagged by @theprettysettersclub, thank you!!

1) Are you really ready for 93 questions?

yeah!!!

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?

,,,uhhh no?? ive never been in a relationship?? so no i guess?

3) Who did you last say “I love you" to?

idk probably my mom

4) Do you regret it?

nope :DD

5) Have you ever been depressed?

Yeah

6) Are you a boy or girl?

Girl~

7) Who is your best friend?

@peppermintstars buT SHE DOESNT GO ON TUMBLR EVER WE MADE A TUMBLR AND U NEVER CAME BACK ON

8) How do you want to die?

idk lol probably not very painfully but aware of it??? if that makes sense

9) What did you last eat?

Ahhhh idk what it’s called but it’s like watery rice except that makes it sound really bad,,, it’s called xi fan but idk what it is in english (apparently its rice porridge)

10) Played any sports?

well i skate and im learning volleyball;; and i used to swim, dance, and do gymnastics + more but i quit every sport within a month of trying it so :/

11) Do you bite your nails ?

YES, SO MUCH ;-;

12) When was your last physical fight?

never??? i dont fight a lot???

13) Do you have an attitude?

no?? not really??

14) Do you like someone?

yah but they don’t exist lol unless u count kpop idols

15) What is your real name?

Eileen ^^

16) Are you gonna get high later?

no???

17) Do you hate anyone at the moment?

not that i can think of rn, no

18) Do you miss someone?

not off the top of my head, no

19) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

??who cuts spaghetti??

20) Do you tan a lot?

uh no?

21) Have any pets?

if i did, they’d be dead, but no

22) How exactly are you feeling?

like,,, nothing rn

23) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?

yeah i do it a lot when im busy

24) Ever made out in the bathroom?

no ??? ive never made out ???

25) Would you take any of your exes back?

no exes,,,,

26) Are you scared of spiders?

who isn’t?? spiders are scary whether dead or alive

27) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

of course!! it’d be cool!!

28) Do you regret anything from your past?

yeah, a lot of things

29) What are your plans for this weekend?

uhh i’ve got my regular weekend schedule, then I have to go to @orangejuicymatsu‘s house for some kind of dinner party, then I’ve got a syncro competition on Sunday-Monday

30) Do you want to have kids?

kids scare me, no

31) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?

my mom!!

32) Do you type fast?

not horribly fast, but not too slow either

33) Do you have piercings? How many?

no, but piercings look cool

34) Want any more?

yeah, maybe some ear piercings when i get older.., needles tho

35) Can you spell well?

nopee

36) Do you miss anyone from your past?

not really bc i can remember probably three ppl from my past

37) What are you craving right now?

ice cream

38) Ever been to a bonfire party?

not that i can remember,,,maybe

39) Have you ever been on a horse?

probably, but horses r big

40) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?

no??

41) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i know?

42) Have you ever been cheated on?

can’t be cheated on if you’ve never been in a relationship

43) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

no...

44)Would you live with someone without marrying them?

yeah of course my parents lol

45) What should you be doing?

HOMEWORK

46) What’s irritating you right now?

my complete inability to do homework

47) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?

no not really

48) Does somebody love you?

idk ???

49) What is your favorite color?

PINKKKKK

50) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

51) Do you have trust issues?

well idk honestly

52) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yeah i think so

53) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

,,,i have no exes

54)Who was the last person you cried to?

i honestly have no clue lol

55) Do you give out second chances too easily?

yeahh

56) Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forget

57) Is this year the best year of your life?

its 2017, no

58) What was your child hood nickname?

i’ve never really have a nickname

59) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

60) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

yea

61) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

uhh read fanfics lol

62) Do you socialise often?

not too much but i do sometimes

63) What is bothering you?

I STILL HAVENT DONE MY HOMEWORK

64) Have you ever been out of your state?

yeah,, ive been to over 30 states

65) Do you play the Wii?

not really

66) Are you listening to music right now?

yeahhh

67) Do you like Chinese food?

I eat it everyday, eh

68) Do you know your fathers b- day?

UHm i think its September 21st ???? no lol

69) Are you afraid of the dark?

well yeah

70) Is cheating ever okay?

71) Are you mean?

not usually no

72) Can you keep white shoes clean?

not really lol

73) Do you believe in true love?

yeah

74) Do you like the outside?

yeah!!! esp when it’s warm or sunny or just nice weather!!

75) Are you currently bored?

not really but kinda,,,

76) Do you wanna get married?

idk maybe

77) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

no thats kinda weird to me

78) Are you hungry?

no but i want sweet food lol

79) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?

no...

80) What makes you happy?

my friends, my followers, ppl who r cool and nice, anime, cute things + more

81) Would you change your name?

no not really

82) Ever been to Alaska?

no, but im going this summer

83) Do you watch the news?

no lol

84) What’s your zodiac sign?

Aries~

85) Do you like Subway?

its okay, better than mcdonalds

86) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

no bc that was my mom

87) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

freak out lol

88) Do you talk like your friends?

do i? a bit yeah,, ive noticed lol

89) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?

all the time in public

90) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

not that i can think of

91) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

one of the alexs -.-

92) Does it matter if your boyfriend smokes?

eh i mean,,, a bit

93) Can you count to one million?

well yeah but im not doing it rn

ey so im tagging (you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to):@ruyi, @orangejuicymatsu, @fadeslikewhispers. @yolkygoblin, @yew2, @mothsky, and anybody who wants to do this!

#i was too lazy to tag more but if u want to do it just say that i tagged u #pls do #i only tagged my irl friends so dont feel left out anybody #etc #p long eh

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operawindow9-blog · 5 years

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What’s missing from our list of 2018’s best TV?

As we wind down 2018, our best-of coverage continues with the following question:

What’s missing from our list of the year’s best TV?

Kyle Fowle

There’s hardly reason to argue with almost any year-end list these days because of the sheer number of good TV shows out there, but I’m genuinely surprised that HBO’s High Maintenance didn’t make our list. The second season of the HBO run keeps with the anthology-esque spirit of the show, but it goes deeper in ways surprising and touching. So, there’s still the random characters that populate New York and The Guy’s life, but what’s different this time around is a narrative through-line involving The Guy’s ex. That character arc, one of pain and jealousy and moving on, adds so much to a season that’s already achingly honest. Add in the fact that one of the year’s best episodes—“Globo,” reckons with the election of Donald Trump, and the completely indescribable feeling of moving through the world on the morning of November 9, 2016 in a smart, poignant, and stirring way—and you have a season of TV that’s more than worthy of any year-end list.

Myles McNutt

It’s difficult for an established reality show to make it into a best of TV list: Beyond the fact that critical conversation privileges scripted programming, reality shows are built on iteration, and that feels less novel or memorable when we reach the list-making time of year. And I’m part of this problem, because I failed to put CBS’ Survivor on my own list despite the fact that its fall cycle has been absurdly enjoyable for a show in its 37th—not a typo—season. Yes, the David Vs. Goliath theme is profoundly dumb. No, I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened during the season that aired in the spring, so 2018 wasn’t all great for the series. But something about the alchemy of casting and game-play has created a season with a succession of satisfying twists and turns, reminding us that although we may not instinctively think of it as list worthy, a reality show 18 years into its run can still create some of television’s best drama and comedy. (I’ll never hear the name “Natalie” without laughing now.)

Eric Thurm

Making reality TV really pop is an artform: There are hundreds of hours of interactions to film, comb through, and precisely edit into a narrative that will make sense, delight viewers, and feel just slightly off, like humans hanging out too many years in the future to quite make sense to us. So every year, I become more and more impressed with the reigning queen of the genre: Vanderpump Rules. The sixth season is one of the show’s best; over half a decade in, Vanderpump Rules remains an examination of fame, misfired charisma, and the terrors of tenuous social status that would put any 19th century novel to shame. Whether it’s Jax Taylor maybe falling in love with his reiki master Kelsey while his relationship with Brittany Cartwright festers like an untreated sore, Stassi Schroeder’s then-boyfriend creating a new god tier of social faux pas by grossly hitting on Lisa freaking Vanderpump, or the slow-moving car crash of James Kennedy ignoring the “best friend” he was clearly sleeping with (not that anyone else cared), Vanderpump Rules remains mesmerizing. The cast of past, present, and future SUR employees are stuck with each other forever, and it’s incredible. It’s not about the pasta; it’s about dread.

Clayton Purdom

Aw, come on—am I the only person who thought Maniac was one of the year’s best? Well, apparently. Cary Joji Fukunaga’s 10-parter was far from perfect, but it aimed admirably high, wrangling spy action, elven fantasy, late-capitalist malaise, intense family dynamics, corporate psychotherapy and more into a freewheeling caper across several levels of reality. It also got career-best comedic performances out of Emma Stone and Justin Theroux and a fine, sad-sack turn from Jonah Hill. And Ben Sinclair! Not all of its ideas stuck, but it was messy, smart, and light in a way I’d love to see more sci-fi attempt.

Dennis Perkins

I’ll admit, I was worried going into the new, Mary Berry-less (not to mention Mel- and Sue-less), Great British Baking Show era, but I am pleased as rum baba to say that this enduringly endearing and delightfully stressful baking competition series has marched on just as sweetly. Sure, there’s a lingering bitter aftertaste to the great British baking show schism that led to those departures, but not on the Great British Baking Show itself, which rides remaining judge Paul Hollywood’s gruff charms alongside new judging partner Prue Leith and celebrity goofballs Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig without missing a trick. The key ingredient to this series’ success has always been the utterly generous heart that goes into every episode, and Fielding and Toksvig, if anything, seem more emotionally invested in the fates of the contestants they have to expel, one-by-one, from the show’s famous tent. And if Hollywood and Leith continue the necessarily merciless judging of soggy bottoms, overworked and under-proved doughs, and the occasional collapsing confectionary disaster, they, too, provide warmly constructive criticism rather than the traditional reality show scorn. A series—as the departed Berry was wont to say—“cram-jammed” with delights, The Great British Baking Show remains one of the most cozily exciting TV experiences going. [Dennis Perkins]

Alex McLevy

Maybe it’s the curse of distance that comes from being released way back in January, or maybe it’s simply a victim of the era of Too Much TV, but I’m bummed out to find the Steven Soderbergh-helmed Mosaic failed to crack our top 25. The miniseries is everything you could want in superlative television: a sharply nuanced and well-written mystery, performed by a coterie of uniformly strong actors at the top of their game (longtime character actor Devin Ratray deserves to be getting award nominations for his star turn), and an ace director brilliantly shooting and editing the whole thing into an intriguing puzzle? It’s the one thing I have felt comfortable recommending to anyone all year long who’s asked me what great show they should check out, regardless of individual tastes, and sadly, not a single person to date has responded with, “I’ve already seen it.” (Feel free to ignore the accompanying multimedia app as an experimental lark on Soderbergh’s part.) You’d think an HBO series from an Oscar-winning director wouldn’t need underdog-status championing, and yet here we are. Give it a watch if you haven’t yet—and odds are, you haven’t.

Caroline Siede

Come on you guys, Netflix’s Queer Eye gave us two full seasons and a special in 2018, and we couldn’t even give it a spot on our list?! I get that it can be hard to stump for reality TV when there’s so much great scripted stuff out there, but Queer Eye at least deserves a special award for being one of the most unexpected joys of 2018. The new Fab Five offered an updated spin on the early ’00s Bravo original, emphasizing self-empowerment, confidence, and empathy along with styling tips and home makeovers. Karamo used his vague “culture and lifestyle” assignment to deliver some really thoughtful therapy sessions, Tan invented a whole new way to wear shirts, Jonathan established himself as an instant icon, Antoni put avocado on stuff, and Bobby did five times as much work as everyone else while getting barely any credit for it. Whether we were bonding over tear-jerking transformations or mocking Antoni’s complete inability to cook, Queer Eye was the rare cultural unifier based on something lovely and uplifting, rather than dark and depressing. I’m guessing we’re still going to need that in 2019, so it’s a good thing the show has a third season on the way. Until then, I’ll just be rewatching A.J.’s episode on a loop.

Lisa Weidenfeld

I watched and loved a lot of TV this year, but it’s possible Wynonna Earp is the show I looked forward to the most, and also the one I wish I was seeing on more best-of lists this December. It’s a Western, a procedural, a Buffy descendant, a horror comedy, and probably a few other things as well. But mostly it’s fun. Its wildly entertaining third season was the strongest yet, and featured a potato-licking mystery, a Christmas tree topper made out of tampons, and one of TV’s sweetest ongoing romances—the usual stuff of great drama. The show’s mythology keeps expanding into an ever larger battle between forces far more powerful than its scrappy team of heroes, but it’s the writing and character work that make the show shine. Wynonna may be tough and merciless in her pursuit of victory, but it’s her sense of humor that keeps her human and compelling, and the bond between her and sister Waverly has provided a grounding emotional force on a show with an increasingly complex central plot. There just aren’t enough shows on TV that would work a Plan B joke into their heist sequence.

Vikram Murthi

Even correcting for James Franco’s involvement, which might put people off for legitimate reasons, it blows me away that The Deuce didn’t crack AVC’s main list. David Simon and George Pelecanos’ bird’s-eye view of the inception and proliferation of the sex industry in the United States represents some of the most mature, compelling television of the year. Simon’s detail-oriented, process-focused approach comes alive when examining a side of American culture that functions as a metaphor for everything: gentrification, the rise of cultural conservatism, urban renewal, late capitalism, and, most potently, the filmmaking process. This season, Simon and Pelecanos pushed their subjects toward broader freedoms that quickly revealed themselves to be traps in disguise. Not only does all social progress come with a price, but also it’s limited to those pre-approved by those controlling the purse strings. Yet, Simon and Pelecanos never forget that the tapestry of human experience is neither exclusively tragic nor comprehensively optimistic. Some people discover happiness, and others lose their way. Rising and falling in America has always been a permanent state because social environments and political context circumscribe life-or-death choices. It’s been a decade since The Wire ended, but its worldview lives on through Simon’s successive work: everything’s connected, follow the money, and bad institutions fail good people every damn day.

Danette Chavez

Although the show’s title addresses a certain demographic, Dear White People has so much to say beyond calling out the oblivious and privileged. Yes, Justin Simien’s adaptation of his 2014 film of the same name wears its politics on its sleeve, but they’re right next to its heart. The show is much more a winning coming-of-age dramedy than it is a polemic, and even then, it’s still miles ahead of most college-set series in both style and substance. Simien’s created his own visual language to capture both the intimacy of the relationships among the core cast, as well as the microscope they’re under as black students at an Ivy League school. And I really cannot say enough about the dialogue, which crackles and informs. Season one had such a moving coming-out storyline, made all the more so by DeRon Horton’s vulnerable performance; the new season follows Lionel’s adventures in dating and dorm sex, with hilarious and poignant results. Really, the whole cast should be commended, from Logan Browning, who provides a wonderfully complex center as Sam, to Antoinette Robertson, who may have given the series’ best performance in season two’s “Chapter IV.” Dear White People still makes a point of punching up—at racist and sexist institutions, tangible and otherwise—but many of its most extraordinary moments have come from characters like Sam, Gabe (John Patrick Amedori), and Reggie (Marque Richardson) recognizing their personal foibles. Thankfully, Netflix has already renewed Dear White People for a third season, giving you all a chance to get it together.

Gwen Ihnat

The odd Amazon sitcom Forever had a lot to say about the monotony of monogamy and marriage: Can you really stay with someone happily for the rest of your life? (Or afterlife, as the case may be.) With anyone but Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph cast as that main couple, Forever might have slowly slid into bland drudgery. But the two gifted comic actors injected a lot of life into the monogamy question, aided by a spirited supporting cast including Catherine Keener, Julia Ormond, and Noah Robbins. Sure, there are some days when you want to talk to anyone but that person sitting across from you at the breakfast table. But who else would discuss with you, ad nauseam, banal topics like the perfect way to spend a half-hour, or the best way to sit in a chair? The standalone episode “Andre And Sarah” makes achingly clear how much finding (or not finding) that person who makes you shine steers the path your life will eventually take, all in a mere 35 minutes.

Allison Shoemaker

While I’d love to praise one of the many things that aired this year that I’m sure to revisit in future—someone else is going to mention Wanderlust, Salt Fat Acid Heat, and the dazzling Jesus Christ Superstar Live In Concert, right?—I feel compelled to bring up a program I’m almost certain I’ll never watch again. It’s unlikely that when HBO snapped up The Tale at Sundance this year, the network was thinking of the benefits of the pause button. Yet it’s a benefit all the same. The debut narrative feature from documentarian Jennifer Fox follows a fictionalized version of the director (played by Laura Dern) as she re-examines a traumatic childhood experience she’d filed away in her mind as loving and consensual, managing to be both gentle and almost unbearably upsetting all at once. Dern’s simple, seemingly relaxed performance belies the nightmare which fuels it, and that pause button may prove invaluable to some—it certainly was for me. The Tale is a film which seems to demand that you witness, rather than merely watch it. Should you need to walk away for a minute, it’ll keep.

Noel Murray

I know, I know: At least once or twice a year someone tells you about some cool animated series you should be watching, and talks about how trippy and ambitious and strangely deep it is. But guys, trust me: You need to catch up on Cartoon Network’s Summer Camp Island. Only half of season one has aired so far (20 10-minute episodes, mostly non-serialized), with the rest of the first batch reportedly set to debut before the end of the year. It’s a show parents can watch with grade-school-aged kids or on their own—a treat for animation buffs, and for anyone who enjoys a the kind of surrealism that’s more adorable than upsetting. With its snooty teen witches, dorky monsters, and never-ending parade of anthropomorphic clothes, toys, plants, and foodstuffs, Summer Camp Island is like a weird old Disney cartoon crossed with an ’80s teensploitation picture. And it is glorious.

A.A. Dowd

Mike Flanagan is a Stephen King guy. You could guess that from his adaptation of Gerald’s Game and from the news that he’s doing King’s Shining sequel Doctor Sleep next. Or you could just watch his work and marvel at how plainly influenced it is by the author’s, at how well it captures that signature King touch—the division of perspective among multiple characters, the interest in history and trauma, the graceful juggling of timelines. There’s much more King than Shirley Jackson in Flanagan Netflix take on The Haunting Of Hill House. The miniseries didn’t scare me as much as it seemed to scare a lot of my friends and colleagues—while well-executed, its jolts were mostly of the familiar James Wan spirits-slithering-up-walls variety. But I loved the intricacy of the storytelling, the way Flanagan moved fluidly from the childhood scenes to the adulthood ones and back again, mapping the entwined lives of these damaged siblings to suggest the way that our past and present remain in constant conversation. (It’s memories, of course, that are really haunting the Crain family.) In the end, I found Haunting Of Hill House a better, more spiritually faithful adaptation of It than the real one from last year. Guess that makes me a Mike Flanagan guy.

Erik Adams

The contents of The Big List demonstrate that it’s a great time for television comedy of all stripes: Animated, musical, workplace, detail-oriented genre parody, surrealist examination of the agony and ecstasy of existence. And while I would’ve liked to have seen some notice for the humble charms of NBC’s Superstore or a nod to that episode of Joe Pera Talks With You where Joe hears “Baba O’Riley” for the first time, I’m surprised that we didn’t heap more praise on another Michigan-set cable show co-starring Conner O’Malley. Like Myles with Survivor, I’m willing to accept that I’m part of the problem: Detroiters didn’t make my ballot’s final cut, despite all the hearty laughs, shoddily produced TV commercials, and General Getdown dance routines (“He’s a general—he’s the best”) the Comedy Central series gave me this year. Sam Richardson and Tim Robinson’s love letter to their shared hometown will always be powered by the stars’ explosively silly onscreen connection, but season two did some stellar work at fleshing out their characters as individuals, whether it was Sam reuniting with an ex to record a sultry grocery-store jingle or Tim (loudly) grappling with the family legacy of Cramblin Duvet Advertising. If nothing else, these episodes proved that when it comes to comedic news anchors, sometimes the inspiration for Ron Burgundy outstrips the legend himself.

Source: https://tv.avclub.com/what-s-missing-from-our-list-of-2018-s-best-tv-1830979080

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