#yes this is once again inspired by just lovers im still obsessed with it

[souvcniir]

*   bopping  along  to  forever  by  drake  is  𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐑  ,  the  twenty  two  year  old  cis  man  thrown  back  to  their  business  days  with  none  of  his   memories  .  voted  most  likely  to  move  out  the  country  ,  alis  was  known  for  being   resilient &   facetious ,  go  figures  you'd  always  find  them  being  threatened  to  be  kicked  off  of  the  football  team  ,  but  grew  up  to  be   audacious &  untrusting  .

what’s  happening  cuties  !   listen  ,  i  cannot  join  a  group  without  giving  the  fattest  and  biggest  warning  that  despite  being  in  the  rpc  for  a  minute  now  ,   i  still  suck  at  introductions  .  embarrassing  luv  ,  i  know  asdj  .  i’m  gi(anna)  ,  i’m  nineteen  years  old  ( a  big  old  baby   )  ,  i  go  by  she  and  her  pronouns  and  i  currently  live  on  the  east  coast  which  throws  me  in  the  est  timezone  !!!  this  is  one  out  of  two  of  my  children  that  i’ll  be  bringing  you  ,   and  um  can  i  just  say  im  obsessed  with  the  fc  pairing  i  got  going  on  for  alistair  .  aron  piper  and   giuseppe  maggio  ?   this  is  what  heaven  is   asdfgh  .    down  below  you’ll  find  a  little  about  alistair  !  and  if  you  want  to  plot  you  can  either  smash  the  heart  button  ,  send  me  a  message  ,  or  message  me  on  discord  at  𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲#1776  .

*   𝐎𝐍𝐄                          𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒  .

a   black   eye   in   response   of   words   of   provokement   ,   lonely   nights   concealed   by   random   bodies   ,   gold   rings   sitting   on   bruised   knuckles   ,   calloused   digits   shielding   a   bright   sun   from   bloodshot   eyes   ,   distant   chatter   drowned   out   by   loud   thoughts   ,    salty  drops   gleaming   on   tan   skin   ,   enchanting   pearly   whites   ,   thunderstorms   singing   pretty   hues   to   sleep     .

*   𝐓𝐖𝐎                          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

full   name.   alistair  aurelius  salazar  .   nickname(s).    alis  ,  ali  .   preferred   name.   alistair  .   past  age.   twenty  two  .   present  age.   thirty  two  .   date  of  birth.   november  first  .  zodiac.  scorpio  . gender.    cis  man .   pronouns.   he  and  him  .   sexuality.  pansexual  .   younger  faceclaim.   aron  piper  .   older  faceclaim.   giuseppe  maggio   .   character  inspiration.    hardin  scott  ,   niccolo  govender  rossi  ,  lip  gallagher  ,  and   bellamy  blake  .

*   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄                          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐒  .

(   physical  abuse  ,  slightly  detailed     )

    sorrows  and  raindrops     ,   remnants  of  a  first  breath  that  established  the  tone  of  the  upbringing  of  curly  locks  and  pearly  whites  that  never  flashed  for  too  long  .      he  was  a  prisoner  in  a  punishment  meant  for  another  .   he  was  a  prisoner  to  rage  .

   he’s  made  up  of  pleads  ,   and  sobs  that  still  haunt  his  childhood   .   neglected  of  forehead  kisses  and  bedtime  stories   ,  gifted  fists  against  previously  bruised  flesh  in  substitution  .    black  and  blue  decorating  his  body  so  frequency  that  for  a  while  he  forgot  what  he  looked  like  without  them  .   

   one  night  ,  he   held  his  broken  arm  in  his  lap  and  begged  her  to  tell  him  why  ,  why  did  she  hate  him  so  much  ?    she  never  answered  ,   didn’t  even  move  a  muscle  .   left  her  seven  year  old  child  to  pull  himself  off  of  the  floor  and  out  the  door  .  that  was  his  last  memory  of  her  .

    left  in  the  care  of  the  foster  system    and  a  year  later  was  put  into  the  custody of  a  man  who  was  suppose  to  be  his  father  .   a  politician  who  had  cared  more  about  his  image  then  his  own  blood  eight  years  earlier  .   not  an  excuse  ,  his  father  would  learn  that  with  the  help  of  guilt  eating  him  from  the  inside  out  .  did  everything  he  could  think  of  to  make  it  up  ,    not  an  easy  challenge  .  

*   𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑                         𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓 .

walked  hand  in  hand  with  being  difficult  .      labeled  the  broken  bird  .  the  dirt  bag  .   found  traces  of  himself  in  chaos  and  so  he  became  it  .    a  smart  boy  drowning  in  a  hurt  he  had  not  fully  recovered  from  .    got  better  as  the  years  went  ,   and  twenty  two  was  his  golden  years  of  doing  his  very  best  to  not  self  destruction  .  

kept  himself  busy  ,  but  that  does  not  mean  he  kept  himself  out  of  trouble  .  a  smart  boy  who  had  the  ability  to  stumble  into  class  with  black  rims  covering  regrets  from  the  previous  night  .   cannabis  was  the  best  form  of  therapy  and  getting  blacked  out  on  weekdays  was  his  favorite  sin  .   

careless  and  impulsive  ,  everyone’s  favorite  partner  in  crime  .  bruised  knuckles  and  a  fat  lip  were  the  consequence  of  a  insolent  mouth  that  never  knew  when  to  stop  .   smiled  with  blood  dripping  from  his  mouth  and  returned  to  his  dorm  with  bruised  knuckles  ,  now  he  remembered  what  he  looked  like  .    

charming  words  and  wandering  hands  might’ve  fooled  you  ,  but  commitment  for  him  was  unreachable  .   he  was  stuck  in  the  mindset  that  he  was  too  fucked  up  for  someone  to  love  him  and  it  showed  in  every  relationship  he  had  ever  had  .   he  was  the  heartbreaker  ,  or  more  so  the  cold  hearted  .  used  others  to  silence  the  demons  in  his  head  and  left  before  the  sun  crept  through  curtains  .  

*   𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄                         𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓  .

ten  years  formed  a  new  label  ,  the  phoenix  .   the  businessman  .    moved  around  until  he  settled  in   san  francisco  where  he  soon  opened  up  a  bar  with  his  business  partner  .   successful  ,  finally  funded  his  own  life  with  money  that  he  earned  .  but  there  was  more  to  him  then  just  expensive  cars  and  days  being  referred  to  as  boss  . 

healed  in  more  ways  then  he  had  been  ten  years  ago  ,  thanks  to  the  help  of  actual  therapy  (  though  cannabis   was  still  a  friend  )   .   greatest  achievement  was  finding  forgiveness  in  his  heart  for  his  father  and  building  a  normal  son  -  father  relationship  .    

decided  early  he  didn’t  want  kids  and  instead  adopted  a  pitbull  named  kyson  .   his  best  friend  and  as  those  around  him  joke  ,  his  son  .   is  his  background  a  picture  of  him  and  his  dog  ,  yes  .  mind  your  business  .

now  a  known  playboy  ,  though  most  aren’t  surprised  .  says  he’s  too  busy  for  relationships  but  it’s  just  the  fact  that  some  things  never  change  and  commitment  was  still  a  scary  thing  .  

recently  ,  as  in  the  last  three  years  ,  moved  to  riccione  ,  where  he  opened  up  his  fourth  bar  .   lives  in  a  house  on  the  beach  and  only  returns  home  every  few  months  (  plus  the  holidays  )  .  has  become  a  big  beach  bum  ,  but  he  likes  the  environment  .  does  the  whole  beach  life  activities  too  ,  the  hiking  and  the  surfing  (  though  he’s  not  very  good  )   .  

no  longer  a  fighter  ,  and  instead  is  the  one  breaking  them  up  .   realized  there  was  one  thing  he  never  wanted  to  be  ,  his  mother  ,  and  so  he’d  never  resort  to  using  his  fist  unless  in  the  act  of  defense  and  even  then  he’s  had  a  good  job  of  walking  away  .  

*   𝐒𝐈𝐗                         𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐈𝐍  𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓   .

back  to  square  one  .  no  memories  of  who  he  grew  up  to  be  ,  just  the  old  feeling  of  anger  and  hurt  .   sad  to  see  his  process  thrown  out  the  window  ,  his  healing  cracked  open  .  the  biggest  question  ,  is  will  he  get  to  his  end  point  once  again  or  will  a  second  chance  be  his  downfall  ?

*   𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍                          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐒  .

has  always  taken  very  good  care  of  himself  in  the  sense  of   what  he  puts  into  his  body  ,  even  in  college  he  paid  important  attention  to  diet  and  exercise  .  

doesn’t  speak  of  his  mother  ,  or  at  least  he  didn’t  .  you  asked  a  question  and  got  silence  in  return  .  most  never  actually  knew  what  the  first  seven  years  of  his  life  was  ,  which  left  many  in  shock  when  he  finally  decided  to  open  up  about  it  .

he  doesn’t  like  nicknames  and  prefers  to  be  called  just  alistair  ,  though  some  people  do  get  a  pass  ,  even  if  that  pass  comes  with  a  hard  look  .

his  drink  of  choice  is  bourbon  but  he  hasn’t  been  a  bigger  drinker  since  his  college  days  ...  his  friends  would  joke  it’s  because  he  overdid  it  too  many  times  in  his  younger  years  . 

*  𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓                          𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  .

*   these  are  simply  just  ideas  to  give  us  something  to  start  with  ,  i  am  open  to  anything  that  is  not  mentioned  as  well  am  completely  and  totally  okay  with  switching  things  around  and  adding  things  to  these  ideas !!!  i  love  plotting  and  bouncing ideas  off  of  each  other  so  don’t  be  afraid  to  stray !

                    YOU’RE  BAD  FOR  MY  HEALTH  ,  YEAH  YOU  SHOULD  HURT  SOMEBODY  ELSE  (  PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN    )  .    he  was  bad  for  their  health    ,   a  rollercoaster  that  consisted  of  too  many  downs  .  toxic  ?  yes  .  in  love  ?  in  denial  .  but  whatever  was  between  these  two  ,  it  kept  them  at  each  others  throats  and  in  each  other  bed  .   this  was  not  the  one  who  got  away  ,  it  was  the  one  he  needed  to  stay  away  from  . 

                   WILL  HE  ALWAYS  BE  MINE  ?   ( PRESENT  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   ) .    his  first  adult  relationship  ,  and  like  alistair  himself  it  was  not  always  easy  .  long  nights  ,  busy  days  ,  sometimes  this  relationship  felt  like  it  was  set  up  to  fail  ..  and  then  they  got  their  moments  where  butterflies  flapped  their  wings  and  rose  spreaded  to  cheeks  and  it  really  seemed  like  it  would  work  ...  but   good  moments  ,  they  come  and  go  and  this  relationship  leaves  the  other  thinking  how  long  they  might  have  alistair  . 

                  I  GOT  A  BAD  IDEA  ( PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   ) .    he  looked  to  his  left  and  saw  them  ,  and  when  he   looked  in  front  of  him  he  saw  the  bars  and  regrets  forming  .   these  two  were  a  duo  that  wreaked  havoc   ,  being  around  them  meant  cop  sirens  and  bad  decisions  .  these  two  were  ,  what  do  they  say  ?  young  and  dumb  .

                  WHOLE  SQUAD  MOBBIN  EVEN  THOUGH  WE  ONLY  SIX  DEEP  ( PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   ) .    his  best  buddies  (  that  i  manage  are  still  apart  of  his  life  in  present  time  )  made  up  of  two  to  three  others  .  they  are  his  people  ,  his  picked  family  .   

                I  SWEAR  IF  I  EVER  LEFT  YOU  IN  THE  COLD  ,  IT’S  CAUSE  IT  WAS  COLDER  INSIDE   (  PRESENT  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .   a  old  friend  who’s  no  longer  that  ,  a  friend  .  i  picture  this  to  be  more  complicated  then  what  it  seems  ,  but  picture  these  two  going  from  being  attached  at  the  hip  to  not  speaking  to  one  another  .

                  CAN  YOU  IMAGINE  ?   ( PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   ) .    that  one  person  who  badly  wanted  something  more  from  alistair  and  got  exactly  the  opposite  .   lovers  in  the  way  of  intimacy  but  one  sided  emotionally  .  

#again.intro #◟ ♡ ⋅ . mun . ﹛ 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐑 ﹜ : introduction . #abuse tw #the fact that this took me forever to write and its what ? #TRASH . #asdfghj #my goal is to get rizo's up tonight too but i cannot make any promises #also sorry because i feel like .. this is kind of long ??? #if i forgot any trigger warnings please lmk #and please ignore all mistakes asdfg

[dxmagedrose]

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Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

#||: && the mundane ( ooc ); #( get to know a bitch!! ) #( this was... a lot of me rambling about weirdly personal shit at 2 am )

[honey-baes]

ALL THE EMOJI ASKS PLS RACHEL

I DONT THINK U REALIZE HOW MANY THERE BLOODY IS THIS TOOK ME SO LONG AHGSJHAGSJHAGSJ

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? @occultlike she looks like she’d be soft n squishy n im here for that

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? litwick!!! idk its just so pretty!!!! i also love darkrai n jirachi cus those were two of my fave pokemon movies as a kid!!!

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? p fucking gay ig uhh there would be flowers every fucking wear for sure

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? i dont dream much?? the last dream i had all i remember is like,,, somebody ik dying?? idk

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? idr have a best friend BUT i love all my friends for being the most TALENTED N CREATIVE people ever im. gushing

😘 talk about your crush or partner - dude i have a new crush every week but uhh but i kinda have a thing for my friend ajhdahdha

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? def not!!!!! i hate confrontation n i usually just stay silent (although that never fuckin works n i really need to stand up for myslef ahdgahd) tho if its playful ill def be a bitch

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!) I’ve gotten through so much n im still here!!!!!! // i try to be kind to the people around me // 

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? uhh this is dumb but really myself??? like, my paranoia is really shit n it makes me scared of alot of shit im fully aware isn’t a threat or anything 

🎁 what never fails to make you happy? flowers!!!!!!!!!!!!

💙 what annoys you about some people? people who are rude for no reason!!!!! it just annoys me when people say something in a rude tone for literally no reason yknow

😤 do you get angry easily? uhh yes unfortunately!!!! i have alot of pent up anger ahdhaajsdhasd

🐇 what do you always daydream about? alot of things!!! i’ll often daydream about mundane stuff like what i’m gonna draw later n that

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change? 

✈️ what is your dream city and why? hmm vancouver looks pretty cool!!!!!! idk im a lil bit sheltered n a lil bit bad at georgraphy

☕️ talk about your ideal day - i’d wake up n make some green tea and honey and then do some painting in my room, n have pasta for dinner!!!! i love pasta jadhajsdja

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? introvert definitely!!! i love my friends but being around people, especially outside is really draining hh

💧 when was the last time you cried? uhh yesterday hjdgasd i cry p much every day HhhhH

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment - wetsuit // a lack of colour // drop pop candy // talk too much // if you’re over me

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? i’ve always thought itd be awesome to be able to read peoples mind!!!! ig i really just want to know what people think of me?? ahdhags

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? please for the love of god don’t eat that much icing at once it won’t end well

💚 who are you jealous of and why? idrk um i’m naturally kinda jealous of loads of artists??? just cus i think my arts been p bad recently n im really envious of others art hhh 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? kindness!!! i’m none of those things except for kind so i might aswell go that route yknow ahdhadgaj

🙊 what are you ashamed of? dude alot of things honestly most things i do adjhadhass 

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? i know english and welsh!!!!! i don’t think i’d be able to learn another language tbh hh

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? hmm i love tomoyo daidouji n i’d love to be her friend!!!!! (she’s from cardcaptor sakura!!!)

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today? i’m in the proccess of drawing something for someone!!!! n fufilling reqs!!!!

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? a siren bcs theyre pretty and murderous n i like that

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike - ash she’s a real dumbass yknow

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately - everything tbh hh ive been going thru a rlly shit rough patch atm but!!! im still here so 

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now? i wanted to be a artist, n i didnt for a couple years but i do again!!!!

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? chocolatechocolatechocolate 

🍑 what are you obsessed with? currently bnha n kiribaku!!!!!!!! n uhh kamideku/tododeku/kamisero/ashido and happiness

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? i uhh cry hh

😪 what are you sick of? it being so hot!!!!!! gahh

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? nO

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? i’m definitely trying!!!!!! i don’t know if i really am yet though ahah

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? painting!!!! video games!!!! i love doing sumi-e/oil/watercolour/digital painting n i love nintendo games!!

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? i sang Hot n Cold ahddgahdajadh

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it? me being a bit of a pushover hadahdsjjah im trying to stand up for myself but it usually just ends up in more grief HHH

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored? eyes!!!!!! i draw eyes all over my school books, and bloody hands!! // i like doodling blood hh

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? i’m like uhhh 2 years old ig

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? i havent,,, done that hhh

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? off the top of my head i love jenna coleman cus uhhh shes a pretty lady

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? o fuck yeah

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them. alices adventures in wonderland // ‘she generally gave herself very good advice, although she very seldom followed it’ | through the looking glass and what alice found there // ‘Thy loving smile will surely hail the love-gift of a fairy tale.” | the lion, the witch and the wardrobe // ‘She did not shut it properly because she knew that it is very silly to shut oneself into a wardrobe, even if it is not a magic one.’ 

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help? i listen to music!!!! 

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? def my friends!!! i don’t acc like talking about things that are bothering me but i know they’d all be willing to listen and care about what i say n that makes me happy ahhh

🌍 which country do you live in? wales!!!!

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words - salty, tired, TIRED

💭 do you keep a diary? i have tried but alas i cant keep up w that shit

💫 who inspires you? so many people!!!! my science teacher is p cool n i wanna be like him!!

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? idk but uhh i like buzzfeed unsolved so

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? black, hoodies n sweaters n LEGGINGS

🎬 what are some of your favourite films? the captain america movies!!!!

[bites-kms]

La Joie de Vivre: Paris 32mm

Just came from Le Caveau de la Huchette - yes, the jazz club from La-La-Land. I didn’t know this, until I was at the door. I was just looking for a fun place to have a drink or two on a Thursday night and what a joy I found. I literally found the joy of life, or the Parisian way - la joie de vivre.

These people, they were so immerse into the beat, it was très magnifique. Specially there was this one women, with style and grace, short hair, long earrings, long skirt -long according to her age but edgy enough let her wave and move around-, without a bra, laughing and shaking her arms towards the back while killing the dance floor at the beat and rhythm of bebop with his partner, a black man with a white haired afro, with the same big smile and crazy moves as her. It was amazing. I only felt tele transported like this before and it was at Nicky’s, the best Speakeasy bar in Buenos Aires. But this was the real deal: I am in Paris, living the late roaring 20s, in between wars after the American soldiers fought in Paris, in a lost cave right next Ile de cité, few blocks away from Notre Dame. 

photocredits: Black Label Media  Although I must confess I was expecting to meet my Ryan Gosling - and yes, I did remember our dance mov(i)es - I met Mr. PH, or Pierre-Henri, the lovely Swedish/French, who lived in Utah from Uppsala. It’s amazing to be able to connect with all these people through music, regardless of age and origin, and this was even more special due to my Swedish experience. We danced and laughed a lot. I proudly made a fool of myself and decided I’m gonna learn this dance once Im back in NYC. Then I met Maurice, a younger, intriguing French guy with whom we danced more upbeat my-hips-dont-lie songs. That was some intense moves going on there! I had such a wonderful time I couldn’t wait to come home to write about it, I hope to make justice to the amazing experience I just had. Walking down the Seine, as Owen Willson in Midnight in Paris, I came back home - to this evil, evil Airbnb, not without stoping by the Louvre and enjoying all its secrets, changing my movie switch to the Da Vinci Code.

It’s still mesmerizes me how much these narratives shape our collective perspectives on the world. I was thinking about this exact same issue while walking down my office’s street the other day, back in NY, and saw a couple of police patrols going around like crazy, with a black SUV that looked as if it was from the FBI and a small but intense manifestation. I was surprised on how quiet the protesters were after the police cars passed by and didn’t make much sense to me. That was when I finally realized I was living this meta-reality and was tricked by my very own mind: this was all a set up for Gotham and I thought it was the real deal. I couldn’t stop laughing and my mind exploded for a couple of very long minutes trying to understand and process all these realities happening at the same time in my head!  So yes, this is my tribute to them, to the movies, to those little pieces of realities that we share in 32 mm (or blue ray, but that way is not that picturesque any more) And it feels weird that I start this tribute in Paris and not in New York, but I guess the NYC experience still feels a little bit surreal to me. At least here I know I’m not staying for good, I’m just here for 10 days, so I guess that makes me way more objective, an eager observer and an obsessed analytic of every minute.

I deserved some celebration after the success on the US embassy, so I decided to start with the simplest thing: let’s go for dinner! I went for my poulette avec pomme de terre but since it only came with fries, I switched it for the plat du soir and felt a little bit of the Jack Nicholson’s magic on Something Gotta Give at the Grand Colbert restaurant.  

I ended up in the most surreal circumstances on a Friday’s night. Lost, during a thin-rainy eve in Paris, searching for hidden wifi hotspots in order to reach my destination: a typical French bistro by Le Marais. What I didnt realized, was that I was gonna run into this typical French guy called William. William, is actually a PHD professor and researcher from Atlanta- although he has been living in France since forever, and as per a Woody Allen movie, he was wearing a brown suit jacket which was double his proper size. He was also wearing bigger trousers -not pants- and we debated about morality, existence and transcendence of matter and language over the Frankfurt School, Marcuse, Horkheimer, Adorno for more than 4 hours, having wine, charcuterie and terrine. It was a very nice movie cliche to experience without even planning it!

Who knew Paris was so famous in movies? I mean, of course in the collective imagery it is, but I didn’t actually realize the size nor the amount of “featured time” Paris have in this movie so called life. After my wonderful La-La-Land experience, my expectations were high and difficult to match, but oh you, dear Amélie, that was a hell of a Saturday we shared together! 

I went to Montmartre and started my film on the Abesees station, right next to the carrousel, close to her apartment. After a beautiful morning stroll with the sun on my face and the joy on each and every single pore of my being, I found the Cafe des 2 Moulins, where she enjoys the small but amazing things of life. Little did I know that not only the creme brûlée was gonna be amazing, but the atmosphere and the memories would be as such! The waiter became my fan: he noticed I was writing in my journal and started hitting on me with the sweetest and cheesiest lines ever, talking about the movie, practicing and mixing English and French, gifting me a pain au chocolat, drawing a heart gesture on the air before giving it to me. He even dared to asked for my number in the most courageous yet sweet way imaginable! It really made my day. Thanks Jullien, that was fun! Of course I also checked out the Studio 28 Cinema, where Amelie enjoys her movies. BITES & KMS SAYS: That’s a meta-hyper reality indeed: Amelie, a fictional character which I watch, goes and watches movies to the cinema in a narrative fiction, located on the same place I am standing right now in real life, thinking and wondering about what that character would be feeling at that moment, with the difference that I am feeling it right now. Wow #mindblown

Of course, I couldn’t stop singing My Song, performed by Christian (Ewan McGregor), feeling a little bit like Satine from Moulin Rouge, while going up and down hills. I hate Boulevard de Clichy, I absolutely hate it: it’s dirty, touristy, with no style nor personality, full of weird people in the bad sense weird can be understood. But well, even though the Bal du Moulin Rouge is located there, this is not whatsoever the best part of the Quarter. So, I kept my musical dream alive and went around the other small and hidden streets. I actually found a spot, which was absolutely perfect. I needed to stop and write about it. My piece of paper said something like this: “Little pieces of Paris, small and unique as the cobblestones of their streets, where only the little birds sing and the sun warms the soul, in between the distant buzz and talks from the tourists.” I imagine a little chambre on one of those top balconies, with lovers singing to each other, having sex and drinking wine in bed at 11 am on a Sunday, waiting to be drunk again to keep sleeping. I stopped by this wonderful Bistro called Le Sancerre. I had my first glass of champagne and had a delicious lunch, falling in love with all these movies, one scene at a time.

The following day I had a very specific location in mind: the Coulee Verte Rene Dumont: secret lover gardens. Only true Parisians go there and take their dates in hopes of some French kiss action. It is quite far off the tourist circuit, and that made me realized how the US is a rough copy of the best of France, with a very local spin. The Highline, that architecture phenomenon everyone is proud of, already existed here in Paris more than a century ago, and still lingers today. So, sorry Paula Scher, there’s nothing new under the sun. And talking about the sun, this was the setting for Before Sunset. I went there to seek inspiration and to reflect upon that proper dialogue that happens in the movie. Was sex with Ethan Hawke that forgettable or was it actually remarkable? Was he really happy with his wife? Why aren’t they together? Are they meant to be? 

I guess there is just time to listen to some Nina Simone - which, for the time being, we can switch for French Edit Piaf or Italian Mina- and to whomever is asking when I’m flying back, I’m just gonna do as Ethan Hawke: 

Celine- Hey Babe, you’re gonna miss that plane. Jesse- I know.

#love #paris #parisien #france #jetaime #movies #film #blog #travel #life #beautiful

[burstbombbitch]

In-depth Character Sheet

Credit to Sir Ender at this writing forum. Reblog or repost. DO NOT remove credit. 

TAGGED BY: myself, bitch TAGGING: im just redoing this. here’s the comparison if you’re curious --- she’s changed a bit, actually! 

FULL NAME: Bonbon Rosalia Charbonneau MEANING: “Charcoal Chocolate”. Meant to refer to a nasty outside, but sweet inside. NICKNAME: Bon, Bonnie, BB, Bunny, Rosie, Rose. MEANING: She’s got way too many. AGE: 22. BIRTHDAY: December 5th. ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Sagittarius. GENDER: Cis Female. ALLERGIES: None. SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual / Panromantic. THEME SONG(S): Pop Star ⭐ How Far I’ll Go ⭐ Jump Up, Super Star!

APPEARANCE HAIR COLOR: Pastel pink, bordering on white. HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Two lengthy tentacles trail down her back and near reach the ground, while a shorter pair rest down her shoulders. In the two baos atop her head are the back tentacles slightly bunned up to avoid contact with the ground. EYES COLOR: Lilac, with star-shaped pink pupils. HEIGHT: 4′1′‘ | 124.46 cm. WEIGHT: 69 lbs | 31.3 kg. OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Lolita, essentially. Really girly and proper. Flashy. Catch her alone, though, and you’d be lucky she’s even wearing anything. DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Bio-luminescent “freckles” all over her body. They have begun to take up a shape, mimicking the moon and stars. SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Lots. Usually winged eyeliner and scarlet eye-shadow. FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Elegant, kind-hearted, caring. SKIN COLOR: Dark brown. BODY TYPE/BUILD: Pear-shaped. Large thighs, strong, long legs, and slightly toned biceps. DEFAULT EXPRESSION: A soft, dreamy smile with sleepy half-lidded eyes. POSTURE: Hands before her thighs, entwined with one another. Upright and straight. PIERCINGS: A peculiar gold ring on her right ear. When flicked, it makes a sound... DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: She has dropped the haughtiness she hailed two years ago. Much more soft-spoken, her words are gentle and warm. Her voice, now that she is no longer trying to hide her “weaker” self, is a lot more amicable. She still speaks with a particularly high vocabulary, but she no longer intentionally chooses words to make others feel foolish. Like rose petals floating on air, her manner of speaking is very breathy and delicate, but loud enough to at least be heard. Never will you find her raising her voice --- the difference is merely a harder sounding version of her, featuring her irritation, as opposed to a shrill shriek. (Voice Claim)

RELATIONSHIPS MOM: Céleste Charbonneau née Chen HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: While she no longer harbors a fierce grudge against her mother for ruining her childhood ( which she did not, but also did not correct Bon ), they are still not as close. They do, definitely, however get along much better, and Bon is now working under her at the Nouveau Corporation. DAD: Clair Charbonneau HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: She’s still a daddy’s girl --- no one has told her that, in reality, he is the absolute scum of the earth. Dustin’s trying. SIBLINGS: None. HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A. CHILDREN: None. HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A. PAST LOVER(S): [REDACTED] CURRENT LOVER: Dustin Lee REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: There is a bit of sheepishness to her. Whereas she once quietly despised and looked down upon others, she has a tendency to be soft-spoken and inquisitive. One could say it’s a guarding mechanism, but she seems to warm up and open up quickly --- a requirement of an idol, she supposes.  ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: She’s still not particularly fond of working with others, mostly because she finds that the best way to get work done is to do it herself. Still, she’s ( no longer ) one to force someone out of their job --- she will simply attempt to do the work behind the scenes. LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: She no longer likes the kind of person she once was --- haughty, snobbish, and full of themselves. Even in jest. The only way that shit’ll slide with her is if she knows them personally, or it’s fiction. PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Her parents were both extremely overprotective of her, a trait she fails to displace when she has children. They were very lenient with her as well, besides the whole ruining her early life, making her more prone to gently guiding her children without imposing her will onto them.

PERSONALITY ...WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: Gentle. Friendly. Apprehensive. ...AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Excitable. Bubbly. Childish. ...AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Silent. Skeptical. Petty. FAVORITE COLOR: Lilac. FAVORITE FOOD: Tea and cream-filled pastries! FAVORITE ANIMAL: Cats, spiders. FAVORITE ELEMENT: Air. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: Grey. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Eggs. LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Shark. HOBBIES: Singing, dancing, shopping, and video gaming. USUAL MOOD: Sleepy. Calm. DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Nope. DARK VERSION OF SELF: Octospy verse. LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Her. Right now. HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Not very. She has become a lot more lenient, and instead prefers to crack jokes ( which is, also, her nervous habit ). CLASS IN AN RPG: Cleric, Mage. BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes. (IN)DEPENDENT: Independent. VULNERABILITY: Hearing problems. Mentions of war. Divulged secrets. OPINION ON SWEARING: She still seldom curses, but it’s not as gasp-inspiring anymore. DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Cautious. MUSIC TYPE: She’s fond of so many genres, provided it’s not ear-shattering. She can find the best in all types of music. MOVIE TYPE: So bad, it’s good / Romance / Thriller. BOOK TYPE: Adventure / Mystery / Romance. COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: About 65 F. SLEEPING PATTERN: Sleeps about 8-10 hours a day. CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Obsessively neat. DESIRED PET: Either a tarantula or a kitten. HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Sleeping, or reading books. BIGGEST SECRET: She worked at a few underground night clubs specifically created to ogle the bodies of those hired. Make ends meet, y’know? HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: @candykraken !! WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: Cat FEARS: Silence, large bodies of water, loneliness. COMFORTS: Sensory objects, tactility, sleeping.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO… DANGER: She tries to push out irrational thoughts and stand her ground. This doesn’t always work. SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Ignoring. Lots of ignoring. She’d make it look like it was unintentional; and then let the crush continue to fester. PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Lighting up! Squealing! Storm of kisses! Lots of touching. God knows her voice is going to reach killer wail levels of painful pitch. DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Wailing, violence, shutting down as a whole. Non-stop aggression. DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: Continue trying, nonstop---literally. Someone’s gonna have to intervene. INJURY: Whine and whimper. She’s not good at handling pain, no matter how used to it she is. SOMETHING IRRESISTIBLY CUTE: Lip biting. Grabby hands. Lighting up, again. Bouncing on her heels.

HISTORY BIOGRAPHY: [ CONTINUED FROM ORIGINAL ] 

Having overcome her self-inflicted duties of becoming a war-hero some day, Bonbon has dropped from the draft to, instead, put her dreams and aspirations on the front lines. With assistance and desperation, the girl is hired to start doing small performances when she’s twenty. Nothing means more to her than this.

Even her own dignity. As her agent comes to realize that she’s willing to do anything to achieve her goals, he quickly turns, being bitter that he himself is not in the spotlight as he once was. Setting her up with jobs that have a high chance of ruining her career, she manages to skate by unscathed --- much to his chagrin.

When Dustin enlists in her crew, he is even less enthused with how much attention the newcomer brings. Spiteful, her agent temporarily pulls him from the show, causing an uproar from the blossoming pop star and her fans. Their insistence brings him back --- but it breaks the final chord for the agent, who takes it out on Bon in private.

This assault, intended to kill, results in his death.

While court has settled that she never once touched him, and only harbors self-defense wounds, Bonbon herself remains dismayed. She’s... pretty sure she killed him. She did it --- and used the Killer Wail to do it. Traumatized, but not willing to admit it, her voice rarely rises to the point of her screams ( or any other such pitch ) again.

FIRST APPEARANCE: A mysterious, minuscule pinkling took a tournament by storm without even giving a word as to her age, rank, or background... and donated the proceeds to charity?

KNOWLEDGE LANGUAGES: Inkling, Sign Language, Human French, Written Octarian, Hylian. SCHOOLING LEVEL: College graduate. FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Linguistics and Theatre. INTERESTED CAREERS: An idol in song and dance --- which she is, now! EXPERTISE: Theatre, Song and Dance. CHEMISTRY: B MATH: A LANGUAGE: A+ GEOGRAPHY: B POLITICS/LAW: B- COOKING: D MECHANICS: C BOTANY (FLOWERS): A+ MYTHOLOGY: A DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): A+++

READING LEVEL: College graduate. HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: Always have a plan!

ROMANCE . DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Definitely. She’s very needy and you’ll know it immediately. HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): While very avoidant when crushing, she’s super clingy and affectionate when dating. GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Ladylike with a dash of klutzy. She shows her real side if she really trusts her partner, so they have to deal with a near 180 of the persona she shows on a daily basis. GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Jump into! She puts all her apples in one basket. PROTECTIVE: Extremely. She’s very feral and primitive at times. ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Her lover has to be her best friend. WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: She actively stalks her partner’s wishlists or things they see as they cruise around together, and has them anonymously delivered, as it she wasn’t obvious. If she hasn’t a clue, she’ll start sending dorky things she thinks are nice to try to gauge their interest. TYPE OF KISSER: She steals small kisses, before elongating them with lots of lip tugging. Definitely fond of it. The type to really get into it. DO THEY WANT KIDS: Not really, but can be easily persuaded. DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: Yes. MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: She makes better decisions, thinking in respect of both herself and her partner. ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Yes, albeit cheesy and dorky deep down... HOW ARE THEY IN BED: She’s extremely affectionate, and prefers to be intimate with her partner for the long run. GET JEALOUS EASY: She no longer experiences the same anxiety she once did in relationships, and opts to trust her partner whole-heartedly. WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: No. MARRY FOR MONEY: click this. FAVORITE SEX POSITION: [REDACTED] WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: A nice long exploration through untraveled territory---just the two of them. Lots of hand-holding, kisses, and cuddles. Good food would definitely seal the deal as the best date ever. OPINION ON SEX: She’s fucking thirsty.

#✧.° ⦙ ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʟᴏsᴇ. — ❪ & dash games. ❫ #o candykraken if ur wondering why ur tagged but dont wanna actually read more #it was for who she looks up to #thats all !! spare urself lol

[aparoxysm]

☼☼☼☼ i don't even know how many i pasted but GIMME

this is literally going to be so long i talk so much YOURE GONNA REGRET THIS

☼ KYLE & DEANNA ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

WELL, i think this would be kyle tbh. like no okay, he’s usually a responsible guy but hes SOOO easily manipulated and pressured into things ok??? the puppy would just have to look @ him and he’d just be like “no buddy im sorry i can’t………………… alright fine jump in the backpack ill be your obi wan we’re outta here”

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

deanna 10000000%

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

i actually feel like both? i feel like kyle is usually the instigator but since being around him all the time, deanna’s really going to get to embrace a dorkier side of herself. he likes making people laugh and she likes him making her laugh so basically he is gonna make her come to the dork side sooner or later~

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

HAHA probably kyle.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

SO i have finally decided that kyle is really interested in history and archeology. i think hes gonna really commit to college this time around soon and deannas gonna be pouty when he cant shower her in attention lolololol. so definitely her distracting and succeeding.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

both!!

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

i don’t know if deanna really has a temper but given that she’s got italian blood in her, i’d say genetics prove that she’d be the one to walk out. kyle would 10/10 be upset if she did.

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

kyle. netflix nerd.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

deanna.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

both. 10/10.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

kyle LOL hes such a dweeb. there’s him in an ugly christmas sweater and antlers.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

…..deanna? maybe? im not really sure, again, i dont know what her temper is like. i don’t know if shes a need space person or not yet, but kyle wouldn’t be able to stand ignoring her.

who plays with the others’ hair more

i definitely see deanna playing with kyles hair on the reg.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

i think deanna’s already proved this one LOLOLOLL and i love it so much, its such a normal organic thing in relationships to hang off each other and i definitely see that being her thing. 

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

deanna. i think kyle’s more of a hugger, he always likes to just have an arm around her somehow. shes the kisser.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

WELL kyle would never @ her like that but LOLOLOL i bet once the novelty of his blabbing has worn off and theyre an old married couple deanna might sometimes just be like stooooop

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

deanna is for sure the instigator, as if that isnt 100% obvious by now hahahha and god yes sometimes kyle will be like NO OMG MY MOM IS IN THE OTHER ROOM or I HAv E TO GO TO cLASS so yep he gonna have to walk away and its gonna kill him 100 times over probably.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

kyle forgets it but also has to hold it because hes such a tall freak, hed be like good ol’ hunchback notre dame with deanna holding it LOL. but he’d also just like, get wet if it meant keeping her dry and warm cause hes a ~gentleman

who demands showering first in the mornings

hmmmmmmmmmmmm i feel like deanna. unless shes a night shower-er. in which case, shes a freak and kyle owns the morning.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

well this has deanna written all over it so.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

kyle’s a wimp, he’ll win her a goldfish and not throw up (y)

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

deanna. kyle probably fell asleep LOL

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight 

hmhmhmhmhmhmhmh deanna??? maybe??? i mean maybe not always but i just see her being more connected to her phone than kyle, like surfing social media etc. and like i bet hes an iPad guy. so like maybe he steals the wall socket a lot and shes like k remind me to steal ur charger before we go to bed and hes like k *forgets immediately*

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

both? but i feel like mostly deanna. always givin’ him the heckin spooks because hes dumb .

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can 

both.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

deanna feels more rambunctious tbh.

☼ EMILY & MILES ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

WELL IF THERE’S ANYTHING MORE SOLID ABOUT EMILY AS A CHARACTER ITS THAT SHE HAS A N UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH DOGS. she is every dog lover tumblr post ever. barney, her UNNECESSARILY HUMONGOUS bernese mountain dog is her pride and son.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

maybe miles but like more as a joke because like emily adores photography, she used to do a lot of it when she was a teenager for school because her dad was really interested in vintage cameras (see also: her box brownie collection she considered selling) and so thats a nice part of im to hold onto for her. he gave her a polaroid camera which she broke in one of her first big mental break downs. then some years later, a boyfriend at the time bought her a new one which she used a lot for a while. then they broke up and she hasn’t really touched photography since. anyway basically i think miles would probably know most of this (all her polaroids are probably still packed up in a box) so he’d pick up her camra sometimes like “photograph me like one of ur french women~” and shed be like omg stop ur being a silly goose ily.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

miles @ emily. sometimes shes such a sad rain cloud and so i think he would resort to any small stupid thing just to make her smile.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

emily would rather die than watch a horror movie i think LOL. 2 spooky.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

i think miles respects emily too much to bother her when shes working, knowing she takes it all very seriously. but likeeeee, at the same time, maybe if he noticed she was already distracted he would try to egg it on cause maybe he’d think like why miss the opportunity to do something together instead if shes not gonna be busy??? idk. thats a real stab in the dark, i hope all my assuming isnt way off LOL

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

emily. worried mama bear.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

miles is the stormer, emily is the cryer. 100%

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

emily. she doesn’t sleep very well anyway so she’ll read or watch obscure film/tv.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

miles?????????????? probably??? emily is such a shy little squirt when it comes to sex, i think shes very happy to recieve whatever he’s willing to give her but as for her own actions shes too scared to be very adventurous.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

miles. if only they could afford a car… /sheds tear/

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

emily !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes the person people hate at christmas time. but see also australia has like no game when it comes to inter/national holidays. our chrismas is in the summer so like reindeers and snow and hot cocoa and fireplaces and shit doesnt make sense. its an entirely different culture. same with halloween, its in the spring, there’s no fall colours, orange pumpkins, etc. having these holidays to REALLY celebrate into overkill in the states is probably her favourite thing about living there.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

miles feels like the angry silent type. emily is the non-confrontational silent type. so both, depending what the argument was about.

who plays with the others’ hair more

i kind of see miles, like if theyre on the couch watching tv or whatever, his arm slung round her and distractedly playing with a lock.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

hmmm, neither.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

when emily is a happy clam, shes very loving. her mood really changes her physical interactions. when shes sad or distracted or stressed or focused, she is very recluse and really just likes to be left alone. but when shes feeling inspired and happy, she’s all for hugs and kisses and touching.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

miles? LOLOL if emily would EVER tell him to be quiet. a highly unlikely scenario though.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

i think that miles is mostly the one to always start it, but never with an expectation that she’ll want to? because he knows how much of an awko taco she is about it? its kind of like a very hesitant, curious sus of the situation~ and if shes down then cool if shes not well then theres always next week maybe LOL. but real talk, i think its really special when emily initiates. its very like Big Moment™ and a real surprise and relief to miles’ stress levels cause otherwise he’s always feeling pushed out ja feel? so i think that the simple answer is miles and hes used to her shutting it down if shes not in the mood. but like everything about them its complicated LOL.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

miles forgets and emily brings like 5. i feel like shes the cutie who holds it and he keeps an arm/jacket around her to keep her from freezing to death bc old married couple :’)

who demands showering first in the mornings

i mean emily likes routine but i feel like miles is the early riser for work and is always gne by the time she gets up probably.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

either or neither, depending on the night before :P 

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

emily is also a wimp and i dont imagine she likes heights very much. miles strikes me as the “big panda winner” type.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

emily if shes either a) worried or b) unsure and keeps tacking on after thoughts.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

ehhhhh, neither? i expect they both rely heavily on them for work so no point with a dead phone.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

miles.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

emily.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

neither? i mean emily is basically a mouse but yeah. neither.

☼ ADAM & JULIE ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

adam. 200%. he has no impulse control.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

adam AHAHAHA, i bet he would take photos of himself on her phone a lot. as if he’s doing her some public service. change his name to “hot adam” in her phone and take a snapchat filter photo of him with some dumb sunglasses on or something. use one of those dumb filters that put your face on the body of some dancing thing and set it as her wallpaper. basically he is so vain.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

adam. he doesnt get embarrassed easily and one day hes gonna like julie a lot and notice theres a dark raincloud in there somewhere he needs to chase away. so might as well do that with laughter.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

adam but he’d want her to cling to him so it would be this whole elaborate plan. like “here let me set up the situation this is how its gonna go its gonna be great” and julie is gonna be like omfg stop and then hes gonna finish the movie wanting to vomit like “well that was not fun at all why did you talk me into this ur a bad friend”

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

julie strikes me as the hardworking type. adam is 100% the literal child wanting her attention.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

adam ofc. but then it could be cute, like julie could start seeing dumb shit and text him like “i saw a guy who got thrown out of walmart today bc he tried to steal a the simpsons on dvd” and he’ll immediately laugh and call her like “WAS IT THE BEST THING? TELL ME EVERYTHING” bc his job is a lot of boring sitting around most of the time. he’ll learn when her lunch breaks are and call her to annoy her but also bc lonely.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

adam would storm. idk if julie would cry?

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

hmmmmmmmmm, maybe julie? if its something shes really into or is anxious and cant sleep? bc adam is 100% that guy whos like “pf what no ill be up for HOURS” zonks out @ 9pm

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

adam, hes a kinky shit. but HEY maybe she is 2. we might never kno  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

adam. literal child.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

i feel like julie has WICKED eye for interior? maybe she doesn’t, but her pinterest board lead me to believe shes stylish af. so i feel like she’d have a good time decorating. unless shes got deep family / body issues rooted to holidays which i could also see being a thing. people stareotypically eat a lot at christmas and thanksgiving omfg, so maybe she hates holidays. IDK. IDK THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE but im also pretty sure adam would dress as a sexy santa like u wouldnt even have to ask he’d be so down. i mean this is probably his favourite christmas related thing tbh (NSFW). im also aware that still doesnt answer the question.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

adam. bye falicia~

who plays with the others’ hair more

adam but in an annoying way LOL

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

the image of adam climbing all over julie is weird af LOL. so like. maybe neither, idk?

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

adam. hes so convinced he’ll get her to give in one day. ONE DAYYY.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

adam.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

adam sTILL. hes so annoying hahaha.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

adam forgets, julie holds. mostly cause he probably gets them all wet cause hes an adhd kid half the time. 

who demands showering first in the mornings

hmmmm, maybe julie? adams probably a freak and showers at night.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

adam 200%

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

adam would LOVE rollercoasters. i dont know about julie?

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

have you met adam “pay attention to me” kane ???

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

hmmm, if it had to be one of them, probably adam.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

adam. anything for the ass grab.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

i dont know this one tbh.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

adam. obnoxious piece of work.

#otp; you're the person i want #emily & miles #ch: kyle #op: deanna #ch: emily #op: miles #ch: adam #op: julie

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[ieatpenniesformythoughts]

10/22/19

@dsxsquaredx and I were talking about how it can be isolating and hard to connect with people again once you start gaining your sense of self back. That's definitely what I've been experiencing for a couple months now. It's nice to feel like myself again. I actually feel like a human who belongs in normal society. Im allowed to be my own human. I don't have to conform to an image that is acceptable to my partner. There are definitely things im interested in that driver is not and vice versa. Yes I've still gotten into some things because of him but it doesn't feel forced at all. I dont feel much different and yet I feel completely different all at the same time. Even talking to new people I dont feel the compulsion as much to mimic them or have all the same interests in order for them to like me. I love that I have all different types of friends so by being myself I add even more variety to my environment.

So I kinda wanted to write a list of things I know about myself without any influence of thinking about who i used to be or who i want to be. Just the truth about me. Kinda like filling out my own character sheet, faults included. What makes me, me.

I love to play video games

I can watch anime forever

I love fantasy and everything to do with it

I love things that are spooky and dark

I love really cute things too

I like to make figurines out of clay

I really love cooking for my family

I like to bake regularly

I love taking baths but can get bored easily

I will forget the weirdest things but will also remember some very asinine stuff

I care about my friends being happy more than myself being happy

I like to make jokes but I do it in a nice way most of the time

Im still suicidal but im getting better

I really enjoy collecting magic cards

I get over simulated by sound fairly easily and it can really affect my life

I really enjoy chemistry

I really enjoy most crafts

Im charming as hell when I want to be

People want to know who I am

I love music

I love pop music and I'm not ashamed

I'm a leader and people look up to me

I speak with confidence and that is something I am proud of

I'm decisive but I can change my mind quickly which does not make me fickle, it makes me adaptable to new situations

I am adaptable

I cannot be broken

I exude a strength that not many have

I often love things that other derm unlovable

I can see the value in the smallest things

I love animals

I love bugs

I love plants and I want to get better at identifying them

Vampires are all my daddy's

I love monsters

I am a prodigy of Pan

I am a witch

My emotions run very deep and I feel everything very intensely

I try really hard to make people happy

I'm getting better at setting my boundaries

I have a lot of wisdom even beyond my age

I have an amazing sense of style

I like show tunes

I like to sing and I'm good at it

I'm very much so not intrested in cars

I'm not interested in a lot of tech beyond being able to use it

Im not really into most sci fi but will watch it for my love

I like reading but I suck at coming back to it

I suck at coming back to projects

I work best when I can complete something in one sitting or it's super easy to pick up again

I don't know if I like sports

I really love most holidays

I like decorating for holidays

I hate cleaning but I like things to be clean

I can get really good at something with not a lot of time

I have a good eye for detail

I'm a very doting partner

I have the bad habit of avoiding work I dont find engaging

I can be quiet because I really enjoy listening to others way more than talking about myself.

I'm traumatized as hell

I'm a sad and anxious bean

I'm courageous as fuck

I can inspire people

I am loved

People like me

I have some weird eating habits

I am willing to do anything it takes to get what I want

I'm in pain a lot

I need to take care of my body or I can get grumpy and snap at people

I'm patient

I'm intelligent

I love science

I'm an artist

I'm the eccentric friend

I'm loud

I'm animated

I know how to have a good time

I understand people pretty naturally

I'm a good person

I'm a good partner

I always have a million ideas

I'm flexible most of the time

Sometimes I suck at boundaries but not on purpose

I dont like being touched by people most of the time unless it's a partner

I'm a good dog mom

I love to dance

I love fashion A LOT

I can read or watch the same thing over and over and still love it

I'm a fighter

I love to fight

I love to smoke weed

I need my hair done to feel good about myself

I dont have a hard time making new friends

I do have a hard time feeling close to people

Spring is my favorite season

I'm obsessed with astrology and I do believe in it

People think I'm sexy

Some people think I'm awful

I'm willing to ruin my reputation for mine and others happiness

I'm good at sacrificing everything

I'm good at starting over

There is nothing wrong with who I am. Doing this was actually pretty great because i felt like i was writing things for a new character and if I ever met a character like myself I would really love them a lot. Im a witchy mad scientist who has a ton of love in her heart. Some how, when I think of myself as a character in a book, it's easier to not just accept my faults but to love them as an addition to my complicated character development. I think the next phase for my story is learning to trust that people have good intentions. That I will be loved and even if not everyone loves me it doesnt matter because I'm still a complex and interesting person. I cant wait to see me love myself. I cant wait to see me grow into someone who is going to stick up for herself as fiercely as she does for others. I cant wait to see the new friends and lovers that will come and go, each one changing me just a little more. I'm definitely not the person I used to be. I like me now way more than I liked me back then. Way more than I ever have liked myself before.