#yknow when you don't wanna do things

[thekidsare-not-alright]

..

#joe trohman #okay not to be THAT GUY but like #the situations probably don't line up exactly or anything and I don't wanna pretend they do when I'm not that well researched #which is why this is in the tags lmao. I'm not making claims #I think it might be a little telling that when a certain member of a band has old band related stuff and wants to get rid of it they mark #it all up and sell it for crazy amounts #and then there's joe. who's like. imma give some shit away ! #FHDSJKGHDHDFHGH #tell me your fave smfs track lol! that's it! #yeah it's a totally different scale I'll give him that but yknow. it just. yknow. #joe's not giving out That much but one of the things is literally a beat up guitar from like fucking VAN DAYS?!?! #people WOULD pay for that. but as far as I know it's just the giveaway?! #DOES ANYONE HEAR MEEEEEEE #don't tag this post w/ the other guitarist's name btw I don't want his stans getting pissed lmao #this is not a space for fr*nk stans. I don't like him <3 #you can rb (I will never have an unspoken ''don't rb'' rule because I hate those)

[daz4i]

i think it's kinda funny when ppl complain about there not being any gay relationships in bsd and then bring up how atsulucy is very heavily implied to be canon or at least set up to be that. bc like. i think at this point you have to accept that ranpoe is the same. in which case the original argument lost its meaning didn't it

(i generally think it is a bit silly to expect any bsd ship to become canon. hope, enjoy the idea, make content, that's great. but expecting it - and that includes the m/f ones too - is. pointless imo. this isn't a romance story i don't think any relationship will be explicitly stated in the main story, at most it'll be somewhat acknowledged in wan. i think if you build up some expectation that a ship is gonna become canon you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. and that's a bit of a shame. i hope you can enjoy the story and enjoy the fan content as they are)

#lbr when ppl say gay relationships in bsd they mean one of the skks which is why they ignore others #it's fine to have a favorite beloveds but perhaps it's good to remember this ship isn't the entire thing the story has to offer #hope this post doesn't come off as mean. the original thing i talked abt is annoying to me sometimes tbh #but i don't wanna actually attack anyone who says it aksklghlj it doesn't matter THAT much yknow? #i do dislike that thing ppl say abt asagiri saying there won't be gay relationships out of respect to the real authors #because... I'm... pretty sure he never said that...? i think this is just a common assumption that got distorted via a game of telephone #(this is smth ppl bring up atsu//lucy in. as in. 'how is making them gay more disrespectful' etc etc) #but like i said. it's just not a romance story man it was never implied to have any either i think #the jokes abt atsushi and lucy like that are on the same level as many other dynamics in the series imo #. anyway those are my 2 cents for you today. just my thoughts. letting them out. don't mean no harm on anyone. love you have a good day

[bunnyb34r]

I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

#marquilla #im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's #gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a #dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you #incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and #theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future #and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to #be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS #so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff #bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then?? #like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist #s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with #the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit #like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and #that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man #i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully #but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL #affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow?? #idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.

[sloaaaa]

+

#rarrh valentines is making me think of people not in my life anymore i want to lie down under some dirt #if i think really hard do u think my i miss you messages will reach you #i still see you in everything yknow. #rah i wanna talk to u again but w the way i ended things i feel really shitty abt even thinking of asking to be in your life again #i just hope you know that i'm still trying to send your care package #all the delivery places wouldn't let me send it bc i used rice for the heat pad #gh fuck it's just so hard when i don't know how u feel abt me anymore #i'm sorry we became strangers so fast #i hope!! ur doing okay!!!!!!!!! happy valentines #ok bye 💥💥💥💥💥 #splootspeaks #delete later

[ellistocracy]

spent all your money on christmas and now have no money for my birthday present? not to worry! here is a short list of just some of the things you can give me for absolutely free!

a fucking break

#ellistocracy.txt #i will also accept attention praise and/or pictures of your pets #anyway sorry for posting about my birthday so much. stop reading here if you don't want to read my secret vent tags #but godddd okay so. it's not like my birthday has ever not been disappointing (considering when it is) #yknow. everyone being spent out and either still on christmas vacation or sick from being around so many people #and it's definitely gotten worse. like the year my family got covid. or the other year my family got covid #but uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhh this year really takes the cake (the birthday cake even) #so please just bear with me while i overcompensate by not shutting up about it #and I don't even really have any close friends anymore. so i don't even know who i can talk to about this #this isn't a cry for help though im okay. like im not even disappointed this is pretty much how i expected things to go #if you do wanna reach out and wish me a happy birthday though its on the 30th. and i would appreciate it a lot #anyways thats all. for those still reading thanks for giving me a little of your time

[coulsonlives]

can i

umm

what the actual fuck is wrong with people

#(major general tw for the following tags) #been doing some more reading after what happened a few days ago and i found THIS.. #this is so gross i can't i don't even know how to react #the ukranian one was posted in feb and yknow there's an INCURSION going on there #and the first nations one i just #jfc #it's SO tasteless do these people KNOW what first nations have been through and what has been happening lately in canada??! #how first nations can't even call the police when they experience a crime or are injured bc of how dangerous it is #to interact with police #i have HAD TO GIVE FIRST AID TO THEM IN CASES LIKE THIS AND ITS INSANELY UPSETTING #SOMEONE CALLED ME TO COME OUT BC THEIR BROTHER SHOT SOMEONE AND THEY DIDNT WANT POLICE INVOLVEMENT #makin all of that into some cute edgy quirky etc thing you wanna be is SO disgustingly disrespectful #idgaf about rando flags but GET A FUCKING CLUE #this person also refers to themselves as 'warqueer' and i don't even have to explain how fucked up that is #you are glamorizing people being blown up shot in the streets murdered by the thousands if not millions!! #this person needs to watch some of the footage from kyiv. the family left in the ditch with their dog. the buildings being blown up. #they need to see what the fuck they're saying here because it is NOT just words with this stuff #i'm going to bed #genocide ment cw #social justice #cop ment cw #violence ment cw #gun violence cw #death ment cw #war ment cw #racism cw

[oscill4te]

tag vent bc grosss (vent about ex tw)

#filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler tag #sooooooooooooooo #snapchat will give you notifications if a contact has a snap account.. and i think my ex just made one #he is 43 and very tech illiterate (for lack of better word) like. hes just not that good with technology #so seeing him on there grosses me out either he is still a p*rn addict & paying for exclusive snaps or he is gr**ming somebody #i feel dysregulated and very grossed out atm. idk what hes doing on there its not my business but beinf reminded of him makes me wanna kms #being with him was the most shameful thing ive ever done in my life and therapy doesnt help nothing helps #only blindly numbing myself with distractions helps and avoiding the town he lives in completely #i feel so ashamed about everything. being with someone like that really changes you as a person and i hate reminders that it was real #my osdd compartmentalizes me so well that i feel so disconnected from something that didnt even end a year ago.. like a dream #like none of it was real yknow i hate reminders that hes real my roommate sees him at their job often #and always avoids mentioning it to me bc they know how it will make me feel #i will never go back btw. sometimes you learn something about someone that makes you feel so sick that going back will never be an option #and that is traumatizing to have had a relationship and feelings for someone who at their core is a disgusting subhuman person #he was also a “john” i think and that makes me feel even more sick... it is so sick he is so sick #i dont know why i tolerated everything i don't know why i was so stupid i was just so desp for a father figure and he knew that #and he had the guise of just wantinf to be my mentor and a friend to me when i had just lost my connection with my family and had nobody #after that relationship i don't fall for anyones tricks anymore. i have very strong bounce now. it just sucks that #i had to endure a year of someone like that to build those skills. i also traded off my ability to trust people or be vulnerable #and my parents funnily know nothing about it. thats what is so funny to me. it makes me wanna cry sometimes #he was very obsessive scary person getting voicemails still terrifies me to this day lol he would spam me with them #looking back its kinda pathetic to he in your 40s wanting to control someone on their 20s every move #i get kindnof homicidal about it sometimes (jjst sayingbif he died the world would be a better place ♡ one less predator)

[indigodawns]

.

#whew you know when you've been Going for a while and then you get a break and you're still tired but you're also so so jittery #S WHERE IM AT OHHH MY GOD #luxury problem and it's totally fine but i am crawling up the walls my friends #also update time ig!! took my family to the autism group meeting thing on tuesday bc it was a meeting esp for that #and they kept throwing me glances throughout the info part like lol it's you JDFHJDFH it was v interesting #bc throughout it all it's like... here i have info about autism and here i have my 25 years lived experience without thinking i had autism #and since i wasn't diagnosed as a kid i wasn't as ~obvious about it and i find it hard to reconcile examples with myself if they #don't fit 100% (it's . the autism) so anyways it was v helpful!!! #and my mum was like ah yeah i always had moments where i thought so?? but then it didn't fit the cold white boy stereotype bc i #am empathetic and i have humour etc so she never mentioned it to me bc it's a big thing etc and tbf i wasn't ~ready pre-this year #but now it's like... ah yes i was always upset on holidays and they never got why (the change in Everything)... i was picky with food #and with new shoes and i HATED shopping and it overwhelmed me so much (still does) #i would ask my mum what tf i was feeling and why i was crying and i would analyse social interactions #and i'd have obsessions with media and horses etc. was big know-it-all. was so slow with some subjects at school #like yknow when you had to copy letters 80 times? that'd take me ages and i'd get a fail bc i was being so precise #anyways. enough signs methinks dfjhdjh so now im just trying to see where stimming & eyecontact come in? #i never noticed a problem with eyecontact but im trying to let myself not do it and it's kinda nice?? but idk #and stimming idk i used to suck my thumb for a long time but?? i wanna try things but whew internalised ableism etc #so see then im like so ARE YOU ACTUALLY-- but anyways it seems i am #and my mum made me realise that'd. explain why i suddenly developed depression around age 11 and never got out of it again #so lots of Thinking!!! and wanting to shelve things like ok great figured it out NOW WHAT but noooo #also stupid to do this on tumblr and not rly talk about it with irl friends but what do you say like #hello im autistic? yeah it surprised me too. no i can't really explain how it works for me. no that's not how the spectrum works #so here we are yes #<3

[relnicht]

I really need to become a dictator because I hate when I'm involved in a community group and someone is saying what I should and shouldn't do and is making the decisions themselves

#or i need to be the president but that's no fun either and then you still get people saying you should and shouldnt do x and y #but if I'm a totalitarian dictator they have to agree with me and do what i say yknow #what these people are saying just frustrates me #like dont give this boring task to this guy bc i dont just wanna give opportunities to my friends. i asked my other friend instead. like #idc about either of your friends but it just doesnt make sense like you still want to give this quote unquote opportunity to a friend #like idc who does it but #like it's nice you think this is such a great opportunity but realistically it's a boring task that no one wants to do #like does your other friend even want to do it or are you the one saying it would be good for her cv #like I'm just involved in this bc i dont have a choice bc nobody else will like idc about the whole bla bla such a great opportunity #bla bla give people fair chances #when like nobody wants to do thi #i think im just an old bitter man and i dont get the youngings being all wow this is gonna change the world #it's not and just let me do my thing and maybe you can boss me around for a thing or two but unless im getting paid i dont want a boss #and why do you want to just meet and talk about things with the other guy that's 2/3 of the exec committee? like im also in that #i just dont like change and young ambitious people who want to change the world and tell me to do this and that and criticise me for #not doing more when i dont want to be doing anything at all #like to me this is not a great opportunities #to me this is a burden/responsibility #yeah i suppose thats it. people telling me i should act like it's an amazing opportunity when from my experience it's a burden no one wants #also don't enjoy someone with less experience being the one to expect to take all decisions singlehandedly

[mntcoronet]

*pause moment* hey why the fuck did I just realise that during high school, I felt like a fair number of my peers (from outside my friends group) treated me somewhat more "softly" or like a child than they would've done with other people. and why was that

#maggles ramblings #like idk if they were actually doing that or if that's just what i Felt was happening #but. when they'd have to talk to me for things; like short 'do this in pairs' stuff; i def felt like they treated me differently #like I'd point out something in the thing we were looking at and they'd go 'oh wow good observation!!' as if we weren't the same age #maybe they just acted differently cos they didn't wanna be doing it. which like sure. but man u could at least try to discuss the topic #or did i seem like too much of a shy little creature that only just learned human speech that they forgot i was competent enough to get A's #but hhh man idk. i never know how people perceive me that's the real issue here #i can sorta make estimations based on how they talk to me; i can tell well enough if someone just doesn't wanna keep talking to me #but that doesn't mean i can figure out WHY. but i do know that sometimes it feels like.. they pick up on something about me #like i can roughly tell whether the person talking to me still considers me Just A Normal Guy or if they've realised like 'hey... #this person doesn't quite Get It with regards to social/conversation stuff'. bc of the way they talk. but i still never know why!! #like sure every time i go have conversations with new people i feel like I'm just pretending to be A Normal Person yknow #and when other people who seem very socially competent Keep talking to me i just think oh wow you haven't figured it out yet that's wild #figured what out? idk that I'm just pretending i guess. about what? uh good question just pretending in general #pretending like i know what to say; that it feels completely Natural to talk like that; like I'm not mentally rating each of my actions #but then sometimes there's people i just feel like i don't have to do that around nearly as much. i swear i gravitate towards those ppl #but yeah it's just. it def feels like they know I'm Not Getting something when i talk to a lot of people. like they Know i missed a memo #and i don't even know what the memo is about; or whether I've gotten any of the previous memos or just absorbed the knowledge #by observing things. ya #ok im done with that train of thought i need to go and work on that au i accidentally stayed up till 2am last night thinking of ideas for

[pigeon-mermaid]

Rpg makers games, especially horror/fantasy ones are like one of my favorite genre of games, but I’m also really picky about it I’ve noticed

#pimer babbles #Like it's always something to do with the mechanics or the plots or just the overall ambience that has to be there #Which sometimes just don't make much sense besides just the way I feel about it #Cause I love off I love the slightly depressing tone/melancholy of it & the overall world but at the same time it's not applicable to #something like say en//dro//ll which I couldn't bring myself to keep playing because I found it TOO depressing yknow #I also don't like yu//me ni//kki...I just don't like to be that aimless in a game it's too much of a walking simulator for me unfortunately #which pains me because it's like a cult classic #I appreciate what it represents though #Just #I've got a lot of games I'm meh about I've noticed #I'm not gonna start listing things that'd be useless but I just wanna say cause I think that's funny #one of the games I don't particularly feel much about had the ability to piss me off a lot #... just because they used ellipses too much djkhg this is so stupid but it actually made me so mad shjxg #zsjkhg just 'SPEAK GODDAMNIT' JKHGBNV #(wasn't kidding when i said i was picky lol) #oh but i just because i'm not particularly fond of them doesn't mean i hate them though i think they still have values #no actually you know what #I hate wad//anoh//ara fucking despite it it's been years and I still remember how much I loathed it

[thegardengrows-infrozenrain]

server i'm in just instated a rule break warning system that there was no mention of before, because i simped too hard and forgot that "for a man in his 40s ryan can get it" isn't something most people say

have to take it in stride and wear 'being the first to get warned in this server' as a badge of honour i suppose 🤷 at least they didn't ban me LMAO

#ryan's rants #not saying where cause ​iykyk but if you do know pls don't bitch to the mods that i'm posting abt this #i find it funny tho cause some motherfucker spat this whole wall of text at me #all about how it's weird to think of celebrities in a s*xu*l manner #and all this other shit #like dude they're adults in their 40s. i promise you it's not that weird to simp for them #like they will not be hurt by it. i promise you. #ryan molly and jasmin are gonna be fine even if some 16 year old kid thinks they can. and i quote myself. 'get it' #they only warned me recently as well. like as in its 5pm rn and that's when i got warned and not when it happened #this truly is a certified Mods Are Asleep moment LMFAOOOOO #good to know as well to hide the kinlist from them #if they get this bothered over saying a guy can get it #i'd hate to know what they would think about me being a ryan factkin 💀 #it's even more obnoxious like i didn't wanna kin ryan it just sorta happened #as all kins do #went from 'oh he's kinda cool i wish i was him' to 'oh shit i feel like i do be him tho' #i'm not one of those kins who gets memories from the person they are or anything tho #there's just a sorta feeling that i should look this way act this way sound this way etc #like yknow? not at all the point of this post #but just a total side thing LMAO

[sockwearer49]

wanted to go to a scenic overlook to do a tarot reading because i need to get some clarification on some of the shit knockin around in my skull and there were people there and so i decided to come to my office thinking it would be empty and there's a fucking rehearsal in the basement right now and so i am just waiting for them to finish and leave so i can do my reading in peace

#now you may be wondering: seeb why do you have to wait for them to leave to do your reading? #good question my friend the answer is because i one) do not want to get interrupted and two) do not have it in me to explain #because who the fuck goes to their OFFICE THAT THEY WORK AT to do a tarot reading when they could do it at home? #me because my room is messy on the floor and i've been spiraling about this in there and so i wanna do it somewhere else #where i have NOT been spiralling about this guy for the last 24 hours #so yknow there's that #anyway i don't wanna explain to these people what i am doing and why i am doing it and why i am doing it here #so i'm just waiting for them to leave and pretending to answer emails and do work when really i just updated a playlist and now i'm on tumb #tumblr * #seeb has a weird friendship thing going on with their ex boyfriend #seeb chatters #seeb reads tarot

[mythvoiced]

-. i'm losing my MIND this is so fking funny IT'S REALLY NOT it shouldn't be this funny, but i don't usually watch wim.bledon and i really wanted to this year because i got curious about how al.ex.ander z.ve.rev plays, right, wanted to see him live, MY GUY IS JUST NOT GETTING TO PLAY

#;ooc #okay back to work #;tbd #moved his first game from yesterday to today #and they KEEP POSTPONING IT one more postponing and he'll be playing tomorrow #that's what you get for having a grand slam tournament in a rainy-ass country omf g #yknow me posting about this or about isu or about the world cup makes me sound like i know sports #i don't sometimes i just hyperfixate on ONE of them and lose it a lil #THOUGH I DO LIKE FOOTBALL I TRULY DO i don't care about clubs and leagues but i've been watching world cups and occasionally euro cups #since i was 6 years old and the feeling is It my friend #all this rambling aside i just needed to blow some steam my mind is fried HEHEHEHEHE #obviously getting games postponed in a sport like tennis not an unheard of thing but it's funny to me how #the moment i am intrigued about a player or a team or a national team BAD LUCK TO THEM i bring bad LUCK I'M-- #THIS IS FO CUKING FUNNY tell me a player/team you can't stand i'll stan them and take 'em down #i mean he's not the only one who's getting capped brouwer his opponent as well not to mention other players/games of today BUT- #from what i've seen of sascha he's probs not even angy seems like a guy who takes the nature of tennis as it is #wanna ruffle his hair and hold his hands sometimes other times i wanna kick him in the back of the knee bc he too tall and i'm 5yrsold #postponed another 20 minutes from when i started this post i'm SCREAMING

[toastsnaffler]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

#or even second tbh I'll take it #i had a couple old friends from college msg me recently to tell me what theyve been up to #which is sweet and i care abt them n wanna hear it! but they dont ask after me or show any interest in how I'm doing #and it makes me feel like I'm just their journal or smth. a brick wall they happen to be standing near #don't get me wrong I love to be useful. but when ppl only ever interact w u bc they need smth from u. well. #rly not doing anything good for this complex im developing where my self worth is directly tied to my usefulness to other ppl lmfao #i dont want to be ppls fucking dog!! or not any more than i already am but whatever thats all im good for i guess!! #and i desperately want someone to be my fave person rn bc all my energy is going nowhere + im at my best when im at my most devoted #so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of. #like yeah i am eager to please and ill follow anyone around and do whatever for a crumb of attention but maybe #if you're actually my friend u shouldnt be encouraging that behaviour. even if it makes u feel good like cmon thats not so cool man #or if you ARE going to encourage it then maybe u should acknowledge the power dynamic ur creating + try not to abuse it. idk 🤷‍♂️ #urgh idk maybe im just saying words rn im very tired #I just feel like all the friendships etc I have atm are slipping into that dangerously unbalanced zone + becoming v one way #and I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm trying the best I can and I guess its just not enough for anyone and that really really sucks #I'm doing better mentally rn but I dont currently have a support system + there are a lot of destabilising forces in my life #so im just. worried abt the direction things could take if I lose this foothold I've dragged myself onto yknow. #and I wouldnt have to be so worried abt that all of the time if I just had someone literally anyone I could rely on or even trust #but oh well. it is what it is. doing all I can to take care of myself so hopefully it won't come to that anyway. #sorry for rambling on so much if u read this far I'm giving u a kiss on the cheek don't worry abt me honey I've got this #anywayy goodnight #.vent #.diaries

[svtskneecaps]

hm. ah.

#how long until you get bored of me? #not kpop #shut up vic #negativity #bc. like. i mean. it's all well and good now. and i'm not bored. idk if i'll ever be bored. #but also. i mean. it's happened before (people getting bored of me) #like. my company seems to have a shelf life. and i'm just. like idk how long it is. #like. i feel exhausting. as a person yknow. like i feel so easy to get tired of. #like. when am i going to pass that event horizon? #bc i don't want to but i just. can't help feeling like. one day my presence is gonna drain more energy than it generates #and then. poof. yknow? #and like lucky me this only bothers me when i'm outside of the situation #bc i refuse to ruin a good thing while it's happening like i Don't Want To #but like i am horrifically aware nothing lasts forever and i'm coming up on one ending #who's to say it won't take something else with it. #who's to say it wouldn't just Happen Anyway #bc ugh. bc UGH. bc this was what i had hoped for as a tiny lil high school grad #bc there's a timer on what i have right now and i don't know how long #some people are skipping town and some people are skipping the country like. how do i know he won't. like. do i follow??? (no.) #idk it's a Slow morning. i didn't wanna wake up. it happens.