#you'll never guess how many frames this puppy has | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 2

The Job of a High School Host!

Host Club x reader

Summary: Y/n learns the duties of a host.

Word Count: 4.9k

Episode Masterlist

You've been a host for almost two weeks now. It's been interesting, to say the least. Tamaki and the twins have been trying to get you into a dress since you put on the school uniform, but you cleaned the male uniform and refused all their demands.

Maria got letters from your friends back in y/c, to which she wanted to surprise you by putting them in your bag. You didn't notice them at school, and you didn't notice them when they were sticking out during homeroom.

But Hikaru and Kaoru did. Once the class was over, the three envelopes fell out of your backpack, though you kept walking. They looked at each other and nodded. Hikaru them and went on and they both went on with their day.

After doing your homework you rushed into the club room, only to see very real tropical decorations everywhere. The hosts had luau outfits on as well. "Welcome."

"This is different." You stated as you stepped in, looking around.

"Of course!" Tamaki posed as he talked. "It might be early fall but here at the Host Club we'd like our guests to feel as if they're in a tropical paradise. And plus, our heating system is... perfect!"

You gave him a slight look at his bragging, to which Kyoya smiled a bit. "Do you have a problem with the way we run our club y/n? Remember, you still owe us 8 million yen."

You set your bag down on your spot. "Charming." You said sarcastically, passing by him and giving him a sly smile. "I feel very free to speak my mind, really. So was this tropical island thing your idea?"

"All ideas dealing with the host club events come directly from the king. Although I will admit to casually slipping a Bali pamphlet onto his desk." He kept his smile as he continued writing in his book.

"Of course. Well someone should tell the king that he's really clever." You patted his arm before going and sitting down with your clients. "Good afternoon ladies—"

The twins each blew a whistle and marched over to you. "Hold it right there!" They said in unison. "Who's Julian?!"

You turned over to them, a bit surprised at the mentioning of that name. "What do you mean?"

"Three envelopes fell out of your bag, and one was from a boy named Julian." Kaoru said.

They then got very close to you, asking, "So who's Julian?!"

"An old friend." You shrugged, putting out your hand for the letters. They gave them back to you, but also gained the attention of Tamaki.

"How good of a friend is he?" He zoomed right behind your couch.

You didn't know why Tamaki was so territorial of his friends, but you knew there must be a reason. That didn't mean you couldn't still have fun with him. You fake sighed lovingly. "He's the best."

"Is he... handsome?"

"He has an adorable face. I love it so much!"

"You love it?" You gave you his puppy dog eyes.

"Yup."

"Do you have... feelings... for him?"

"Oh, I'm only totally in love with him."

"WHA~T?!" He then wrapped you in a hug. "But you're my little girl~"

You sighed again. "Yeah. It's too bad you're more his type."

"Huh?"

He blankly stared at you, and you bursted into a fit of giggles. "He's gay, so calm down."

"Oh." He then stood up and cleared his throat. "Well then, that's one less man to worry about. You don't know how many evil boys there are in the world, so you have to be careful."

"Yeah, I should also be careful of weird people who call themselves 'daddy'." An arrow struck through Tamaki as you walked over to the twins. "Thanks for holding onto these for me." Your smile made them blush. "And thank you for not opening them, since you guys are pretty nosey."

"We don't know what you're talking about." They both said as they shrugged.

"But y/n," Kaoru started saying.

"Why don't you open them for us?" Hikaru finished.

You scoffed. "Please guys, I'm working." You then turned to your clients as they sighed, smiling. "I'm sorry girls. What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, we were wondering if you were going to dress up in something tropical."

"Do you all want me to?" You asked, unsure if you wanted to go through with that.

"Yes!" They said happily.

Tamaki then appeared with a smile. "I already made you an outfit y/n. And look, we're a pair! Isn't it cute?"

You frowned. "You know I don't really like skirts."

He then showed you his big watery eyes. "But Kyoya gave you a dress and you accepted it no problem."

"He was doing it to be nice. You're doing this because you want to see me in a dress. That's weird."

He looked like he was going to burst from anger. He then pushed the outfit into your hands. "Just go change!"

You then changed into the shoulderless top with the long skirt, which also accompanied a lot of jewelry. You then went out and tried to discreetly go back to your clients. "Oh my goodness y/n, you're so cute!" One exclaimed.

"Y/N~" Tamaki jumped over to you and crushed you into a hug. "Everybody, look!"

"Let's not please." You whispered. Your face went red as you frustratedly looked to the ground.

"Wow." The twins said, grabbing your arms.

"Who knew y/n," Kaoru said.

"Could be such a girl." Hikaru finished.

"Looks cute." They said, giving you a thumbs up.

"Please stop drawing in more attention." You said quietly.

"Takashi~ look!" Honey dragged you over to them. "Doesn't she look adorable?"

"Yeah."

Tamaki and the twins had evil stars in their eyes as they inched closer to you. You didn't notice the blush on Mori's face when you went to go hide behind him. The three then shouted, "Give her to us!"

Mori shook his head and took your shoulders, guiding you to your couch.

"Thank you senpai." You said quietly. You then put your hands over your face. You peaked at your smiling clients. "Okay, I did this for you guys."

"How do you feel in cosplay?"

"Exhausted!" You put your hands to your side quickly only to begin shaking your arms, hearing the jewelry jingle as you moved. They began to giggle at your innocent and child-like movements. "Jeez, what's with this?"

"Y/n, you forgot your crown!" Tamaki stuck it out towards you as an offering.

You took a deep breath and drank some tea, not looking at him. "If it's worth more than me I'm not wearing it."

He gave you an angrily confused look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not putting something ridiculous and way too expensive on my head. I don't even feel comfortable in this. It feels like I'm lowering the value of it by just wearing it." Your tone was a sarcastic one, which caused smiles from around your area. Though it was a joke, you were only half-kidding.

"Excuse me." A girl came up to you and said. "I believe we're supposed to be switching hosts now."

"Oh, you must be my next appointment." You grinned, waving to her childishly even though she was right in front of you. "It's nice to meet you."

She then grabbed your chin and brought your face closer to hers. "I've just decided. You're going to be my new favorite host." This seemed to effect Tamaki.

Once the club finished everything, you walked over to go change until Kyoya stopped you. "Your words with Tamaki seemed to amuse some of the guests, and many of those guests have requested you."

"Cool. I guess my clownery is likable." You chuckled and nodded.

Clownery. What an odd made up word. He thought about what his clients told them about you. You spoke with slang, though it almost as if you didn't realize it. They said that they found it adorable. Your speech being adorable. It was an interesting thought, in its own way.

Once you put back on your uniform, Kyoya instructed you to make Tamaki some instant ramen. You did so and finished cleaning. Once you finished that you sat down and noticed that Tamaki was irritated.

"C'mon boss, quit eating that commoner's ramen and help plan the party." Kaoru said.

"What's up with him?" You asked.

"He's just upset with Lady Kanako choosing you." Kyoya said as he typed away on his laptop. "She's had the illness for a while now though, so I don't know why he's too surprised."

"What disease?"

"The host hopping disease." The twins said.

You giggled, grinning. "So he's jealous that I stole her from him."

"Shut up! I couldn't care less!" Tamaki yelled. "That's it, my patience has run out. It's time you started dressing like a girl!"

"That's really what's bothering you?"

"I just don't get it. How can you be so popular with the ladies when you yourself are a lady?!" He then went into his private chest, digging though it. "Now you listen to daddy. DADDY WANTS YOU TO GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE AND KEEP WEARING SKIRTS!!"

He brought out a huge framed photo of you in a high and tight half pony tail, which contrasted your usually messy pony tail. You were wearing a cropped long sleeved dark gray shirt, with a black skirt and dark panty hose under.

"DON'T GO BLOWING UP MY PHOTOS WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!!"

He hung it up on the wall and began crying. Everybody crowded around it.

"The more I look at this photo the more amazed I am." Kaoru said. "How did you go from that to wearing suits?"

Everyone turned to look at you. "I used to have a neighbor who owned a Burlesque lounge. Sometimes she needed someone to cover a waitress shift, and I would do it. This was the most covered up she would allow me to be though."

"I see." Kyoya said. "Those places are known for having women reveal a large amount of skin."

"I wore that stuff cause I had to. I feel more comfortable not showing my legs. I don't care if I dress like a dude sometimes."

"A GIRL SHOULD NEVER ADDRESS HERSELF AS A DUDE!!" Tamaki yelled. "MAMA~!! Y/n's using those dirty boy words again."

"I hate to break up this interesting conversation, but do you have any formal dancing experience?" Hikaru asked.

You turned and smiled nervously. "No, but I don't have to go to parties and stuff, right?"

Tamaki's eyes began to shine. "I absolutely forbid that. You must go to every event hosted by the host club if you want to pay back your debt! If you fail to do so, you'll be demoted back to errand boy" He then got a lot happier. "And that also means you have to wear a dress at the party!"

"No it's cool, I have a formal guy outfit." They all stared at you. "What? I got it when I had to go to a wedding."

"Why won't you wear something like thi~s?" Tamaki said with tears in his eyes.

"Cause it was for a job."

"This is a job!"

"No, this is indentured servitude. There's a difference. Slight, but it's there." You then briefly thought. "Oh, I guess that also means I have to learn the man's part since I'm a host."

Kanako was instructing you what to do, and you were getting the hang of it quickly. "You're quite a fast learner miss y/n."

"And you're quite an exceptional teacher Miss Kanako." Your gaze went to Tamaki, who looked sad. He wanted to teach you, but was too tall to be in the girl role. He glanced over to you, and you smiled and waved. He hesitantly gave you a small smile and waved back. Because of this you weren't paying attention tripped up the both of you. "I'm so sorry Lady Kanako!"

She pulled you closer. "That's quite alright."

"You're very forward." You smiled down at her before rolling to the side and pulling the both of you up. "C'mon, let's get you some tea."

You brought her tea as she happily held onto the cup. "You have a new order for tea sets I see. The handy work looks like it's Genorie."

"You have a keen eye mademoiselle." Kyoya said as he passed by.

"Such a pretty color." She gazed into the tea cup with a smile. "How lovely."

"Woah, you seem to know a lot about tea sets, huh?" You asked. This, unbeknownst to you, gained Tamaki's attention.

"What? Of course not!" She said shakily, blushing. "What ever would give you that idea?!"

Just then someone walked in with a box in hand. "You ordered a new tea set?" He asked Kyoya as he walked over to him.

"Yes we did. Y/n, come over and grab these." Kyoya said.

You nodded and smiled at him as he gave you the box. You opened the lid and looked at the set. "Wow, these are really nice. Are you an expert on things like this?"

Kanako began laughing. "Oh y/n, you're so out of the loop. It can be pardoned though." She turned back with a teasing smile. "After all, he doesn't look like an heir to a first class industry empire."

His facial expression changed as he looked at her. You noticed but decided not to say anything.

"The Susushima family has dealt mainly with table wear." Kyoya explained. "They are, in fact, a first class company."

"I think that's so awesome! You seem to have a lot of passion into what you're going to be doing, which is very admirable." You told him with a small smile.

He turned to you and bashfully smiled. "You think so? I'm honored. Well, see you all next time."

After he left and you walked back to Kanako with the box still in hand. "He's pretty handsome, don't you think?" You asked in your native language.

"Um, pardon?"

"Oh, sorry." You cleared your throat. "I'm asking if you think he's attractive."

She blushed profusely and nervously sipped on her tea. "I don't know! I suppose!"

"I get the feeling you two know each other."

She spat out her tea and began to panic again. "What would ever give you that silly conclusion? I have no idea what you're talking about! Anyways, take care!" She quickly left.

You stood up right before Honey jumped onto your back, almost knocking the box out of your hands. "Y/n-chan~! Guess what? They do know each other! Suzushima-chan is Kasuga-chan's fiance."

"Woah, really?"

"Kyoya," Tamaki said. "What do you know about this?"

He looked in his book. "They were childhood friends. Their parents set up an arranged marriage between them. I didn't find this information of any importance so I disregarded it."

"And what do you know of Suzushima?"

"Toro Suzushima. Outstanding grades, bare social status. Ordinary looking. He's reliable, in case of persuasion to place blame."

"He doesn't have much presence and is faint hearted." The twins said.

"In order words, he's boring." Kyoya closed his book.

"Wow," You said. "Who knew you guys were so cold to other men."

"We don't have any use of him so there's no reason to be nicer in describing him." Kyoya explained.

"Interesting philosophy." You said teasingly. "I can feel the kindness radiating off of you."

"Suzushima is a good boy." Honey said, on top of Mori. "Right?"

"Yeah." Mori replied.

"Alright men! It's time for a plan!" Tamaki announced. "It's our job at the Ouran Host Club to make every woman happy!"

When Tamaki finished explaining his plan, everybody packed up and left, leaving only Kyoya and you. He had just finished on his laptop and was packing up his things. You walked behind him. "Senpai, is it okay if I ask you a question?"

"Is it about what I said earlier?" He didn't turn around.

"Kind of. I mean, if we're talking about the same thing." You kept your voice steady and light.

"Was it what I said about not needing Suzushima?"

"Woah, no. Not at all. I was thinking about how you did a background check on him."

He paused briefly. "I see. What of it?"

Your voice unintentionally shrank. "Did you do one on me?"

"Yes. A few days ago, in fact. You fail to mention your brother when people ask about your history." His voice was so calm and normal. It made you feel very exposed.

"Everything I've said isn't a lie." You managed to say firmly.

"I know that as well. I understand your situation and I respect your reasonings for not talking about him. You've been through quite a lot, and you have a right to privacy."

"Please answer this next question honestly." His silence meant that he was still listening. "Do you think of me any lower or less, I don't know, appealing, now that you know everything about me?" You then nervously chuckled. "Unless it was already that low to begin with."

"I assure you that my views of you are of a hard working person who seems to make many people happy. Not wanting people to know certain things about you and having certain insecurities do not waver what I 'think' of you."

You let out a breath and grinned, hugging him from the back. He widened his eyes, but didn't tense nor pull away.

"Thank you Kyoya senpai. This really means a lot." You then let go of him. "Okay, I need to walk home before it gets dark. See you tomorrow." You then quickly went to the door. "Sorry if that hug was weird for you!" You called out as you left.

His opinions mattered to you. It was an interesting thought, in its own way.

As you were getting ready for the party, Maria came into your room. "Can't you be at least a bit girly?"

"Funny, that's really funny Maria." You turned to face her and sat down. "You're quite the tomboy yourself sometimes."

"I'm serious y/n/n. You should try a little makeup. You'll look nice for all your friends. One of them is bound to fall for you." She said in an offering tone.

You chuckled and shook your head. "They're all just friends. And I shouldn't have to try to impress anybody."

She sighed, going over to your nightstand and opening a drawer. She took out a black box and opened it, revealing the earrings you got back after your father was imprisoned. "At least wear one of your mom's earrings. They all look cute on you."

You looked in the box. She loved to collect them. "I don't know, maybe."

She grabbed your cheeks and smushed them. "Think about it." You grabbed her cheeks and did the same. "I also have something to tell you."

"Good or bad?"

She hesitated before quickly saying, "My sisters are coming for a few days to visit." And then sped walked out of the room.

"What?!" You followed her. "Please tell me Linda's son won't be coming too." She gave you a look, and that was all you needed to know. "Oh my gosh, I'm going to my club. That's gonna be my safe space for now."

"At least you have a safe space. I'll have to deal with Linda 24/7."

You then went back into your room and hesitantly grabbed a pair of earrings, putting them in your pants pocket. "I gotta go. I should start walking now."

She stopped you. "Take off the blazer at least." You took off the blazer with a pout. She then pulled off your messy ponytail. "Do something better with your hair too." You tied up two messy double buns. "There. You look adorable. Go."

You got there and joined all except Tamaki at the second floor in the auditorium. "Welcome, my little lambs," Tamaki said from the third floor. "To a magical night of your lives!"

Kyoya then spoke up. "As always ladies we are here for your enjoyment. Dance to your heart's content. The best dancer will be decided among us hosts and will be crowned queen. As a reward the queen will receive a passionate kiss on the cheek from our king, Tamaki Suoh. Good luck to all you."

They all began cheering, and you snickered over the stupidity of the 'prize'. The twins came over to you and began playing with your buns.

"These are cute." Hikaru said.

"You have a raggedy yet carefree look. The hairstyle compliments you." Kaoru told you. "Hey, have you ever been to a party before?"

"Not formal parties. Only block parties on my street."

"Well, since you're here y/n, you might as well enjoy yourself." Kyoya said. "We have quite the spread of desserts."

You then innocently asked, "Like squishy ice cream?"

"SQUI—"

"—SHY—"

"—ICE CREAM?!"

Tamaki flipped down to your floor and pointed to Kyoya, who was already dialing a number on his phone. "Kyoya! Order some squishy ice cream right away!"

"Two orders of mochi please." He said to his phone. The twins smothered you in a hug as your face burned from embarrassment. You felt like such an idiot foreigner right now.

In the meantime you danced with some girls, being flamboyant and silly when dancing with them. There was one girl who tripped over your shoes and almost fell until you caught her. She wouldn't stop laughing loudly, and it caused you to laugh as well. Others wanted to talk, so you danced regularly with them.

As you took a break from dancing with some girls Kanako approached you. "There you are y/n, I've been looking everywhere for you. May I have this next dance?"

"It would be my pleasure Lady Kanako." You began to dance with her. "You're so formal. It's really fascinating to me."

"Your expressions and slang are fascinating to me as well." She said.

"Kasuga-chan's here!" Honey announced.

"Honey, Mori," Tamaki said. "Commence with the operation."

Both nodded before swiftly grabbing you away and dashing to an empty room with the twins and Kyoya. "Did you guys really have to be so forceful?"

"Nevermind that, go and change." Hikaru shoved a bag into your hands and pushed you into the changing room.

"Remember y/n, we only have 37 minutes before the climax of the night," Kyoya said. "And a little accident might make the evening more interesting."

You saw a tube of concealer on the small table when you went in. You knew Kyoya left it for you, and it made you smile. You quickly changed into the dark purple dress and put concealer on the scars of your legs. You then remembered the earrings in your pocket and put them on. They were rose gold hoops with what looked like flower petals on them.

You then went outside, where the twins quickly put on your makeup. Kaoru then gently touched one of your earrings. "We didn't put these in the bag. Are these yours?"

"Yeah." You quietly said.

"They compliment the dress. It was good that you brought them." You smiled at him, causing him to blush and look away.

"Y'know," Hikaru said as they finished up. "I know the boss wants to stick to the strategy, but this is..."

"What are you all doing standing around here?" Tamaki asked as he came in. "The guests are wai—"

You stood up and faced him. You then began walking as the boys stared at you. "You look cute!" Honey stated.

Everyone blushed but Honey and Kyoya, who were both smiling. "My face feels heavy." You pouted as you kept walking.

"Hurry up!" The twins called out as you kept walking.

"Yeah, I got it." You muttered. As you left, the twins and Tamaki began to fawn over you.

You walked into the room they told you to. Suzushima turned around with a surprised look. You timidly smiled as you walked over to him. "You're not at all what I pictured from the letter you wrote me."

You kept your smile on. "Really?" He nodded. "Can I actually see the letter please?" He then gave it to you, and you read over it:

I'm in love love with you! From the first day I laid eyes on you I've been head over heals in love! Tee hee! All these feelings I have are harpooned to my heart as they keep whipping around my mind like the restless waves! When the special day comes, I want to randezvou with you on Noah's arc! I do I do!

You wondered who the hell would write such a stupid letter. It was actually a collaborative write with Kyoya and the twins. "Excuse me," Suzushima interrupted your thoughts. "Have we met before?"

"No! It's um, the first time we've ever talked!"

"I'm flattered by your letter, but I'm afraid I can't return your feelings." He said. "My heart has been taken by somebody else."

"My apologies! I didn't realize you had a girlfriend."

"No, she's not my girlfriend. I don't even think she's even interested anymore." He looked very sad.

"Well I don't know about that. Your calming presence is a joy to be around, and I'm sure she'd agree." You offered.

He sighed. "Thank you, but honestly, I'm sure she'd be better off with someone more self confident. That's why I'm leaving next month to study abroad. Hopefully become a better man for her. Maybe it's selfish, but I hope she'll wait for me."

"I won't lie to you, it's a little selfish." An arrow went through him. You squished your index finger and thumb. "Just a little. But Toro, if she really is the love of your life then I'm sure she'll still love you just as much as she probably already does."

He was about to say something as he reached out for you, but you heard the door open. You didn't turn so she wouldn't see your face. "Oh, I'm sorry to intrude." You could tell she was crying. "I'll just leave you two be."

You heard her heels and knew she was running away, and he ran after her. "Kanako, wait!"

You then walked next to Tamaki. "We didn't make things worse, did we?"

"He did run after her. He needs to learn how to be more sure of himself."

You were both walking back when you tripped again over your heels. Tamaki interlocked your arms together. You looked up at him. "You really need to learn how to walk in heels. They look so lovely on you, and it'd be a shame if you tripped and hurt yourself."

You smiled and nodded, leaning on his shoulder. You then tripped again, only for him to hold onto you and prevent you from falling. You giggled, followed shortly by Tamaki chuckling with you.

You both went over to the balcony. The lights hit, and you saw Kanako and Toro. "Let us join together and announce that this couple has been chosen for the final waltz of the night." Tamaki announced.

He said something to her, squeezing his eyes shut and asking her for a dance. You snickered. "Why are you laughing?" Kaoru asked.

"I know he's trying his best, but he looks kinda goofy right now." All the hosts looked from you to them and smiled. "They're awesome together though."

"May this awkward couple be forever blessed!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Kyoya then stepped forward. "And now for the grand prize, a kiss from our royalty."

"Y/n with step in for Tamaki." Kaoru said with a banana peel in his hand.

"And the kiss with be for Toro Suzushima." Hikaru added with another banana peel in his hand.

Tamaki was shocked, and you turned to Kyoya. "I'm not gonna—"

"It'll lower your debt by a third."

"I mean it is just a peck." You smiled and headed down.

"Wha..." Tamaki said.

"Also," You said as you began walking down the stairs. "You guys need to work on your love letter skills, because that was embarring for me to read."

As you went down Suzushima saw you and gave you a surprised expression. "You..."

"Y/n," Kanako said. "Were you the girl with Toro?"

"Hi guys. We just needed to give you two a gentle nudge. I promise I'm not in love with Toro. And I'm really sorry and embarrassed they gave you that stupid letter. I didn't write any of that." You smiled at them.

He nodded. "Thank you."

You then looked at Kanako. "May I?"

"Sure. It'll mark the beginning of our relationship."

Up from the balcony, Tamaki was reaching out for you weakly. "I wonder if this is y/n-chan's first kiss?" Honey thought out loud.

This made Tamaki snap, and he began running to you. "Wait y/n~!"

He slipped on the twins' banana peels and accidentally pushed you, causing you to kiss Toro on the lips instead. Kyoya did say that a little accident would make the night a little more interesting.

---

Author's Note: Comment if you liked it (please) or if you want to be tagged 😁

---

Tag List:

@krustykrabbspizza @animefan7420 @strangerthingsholland @the-dead-fucking-sea

110 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: I'm not at work Jimmy: if you were gonna come in and be #goals Janis: weren't Janis: but tah for heads-up Jimmy: 👍 Janis: do you know 'bout my fave barista or should I roll the dice Jimmy: he's covering for me Janis: oh good Janis: 💕 Jimmy: can't say I never do owt for you, mate Janis: don't cash the IOU yet Jimmy: why? Jimmy: I get it, you look as rough as I feel but Pete ain't that shallow 💕 Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm great Jimmy: bollocks Janis: am too Janis: been for my run and everything Janis: I can handle mine, like Jimmy: fake it for the 'gram, my dear, I don't need to hear it, like Janis: later then skiver Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I've got two kids hanging round my neck, what are you doing? Janis: no concern of yours Janis: check the socials if you're so interested Jimmy: you'll be grooming your horse or counting your cash, no need Jimmy: and now making yourself look #🔥 for the CG Janis: wow, you know me so well Janis: #flex when it counts Jimmy: [does like a cringey tweet for her or something] Jimmy: there Janis: 👏 Janis: sound cover it for today Jimmy: 👌 Janis: if you see a purse can you chuck it back to me Jimmy: after I've taken all the cash out, yeah Janis: 👑 don't carry cash Janis: it's got my gym card in it though so, if you do find it Jimmy: guess I'm working out today too then 💪🏆 tah Janis: welcome Jimmy: [a moment cos he's looking for it genuinely] Jimmy: where do you want me to bring it? Janis: oh good Janis: you at work tomorrow Jimmy: Can't pull a sickie every day, can I? Jimmy: not cancer riddled yet Janis: cheery Janis: don't bother getting out your sickbed Janis: just give it to grace Jimmy: how's that gonna look? Jimmy: you're already not babysitting with me right now 💔 Janis: 🙄 Janis: fine I'll come get it tomorrow then Jimmy: or meet me at the park by mine, get it, pose a bit and pretend you're with me today Janis: not really in the mood Janis: hungover or nah Jimmy: fake it Janis: that's precisely what I'm not in the mood for Janis: I ain't at home, just say I'm there Jimmy: hang on, I'll just photoshop you in Jimmy: won't be suss Janis: we don't need to be together 24/7 Janis: only that lot are that highkey Jimmy: you wanted highkey, mate Jimmy: and I just put my hand down the back of a fucking minging sofa for you, top that Janis: nah, that was definitely you Janis: 💕 Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: on it with your lies this morning, you Jimmy: just what I look for in a lass that 😍😍 Janis: bitch what lie, where Janis: highkey for highkey was 100% your line Jimmy: you said some shit about appealing to our audience first Jimmy: and that you didn't wanna scale it back so there's your lie, Jenna Janis: whatever Janis: I'm busy right now Janis: maybe I'll come by later Jimmy: I won't be walking the dog later, I'll be walking her in a bit Jimmy: gonna knock and run instead though Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck sake Janis: be there then Janis: not hanging about Jimmy: and I am? the shit you've gotta do ain't more important than mine, girl Janis: how'd you know Janis: not a competition anyway Jimmy: that'd be a first Janis: ha ha Janis: stop mucking about Janis: can you be there in 20? Jimmy: can you? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: try and look like you're not dying Jimmy: late nights are #goals Jimmy: keep up Janis: if you leave out all actual details Janis: sure Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em all out Janis: have you checked what you did put out Janis: always got to take back the bootycalls and texts to your ex before the PM Jimmy: I deleted my ex's number ages ago, we're all set Jimmy: only got the 1 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: toodles my love Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: it's alright Janis: not gonna tell your manager on you when I'm there Jimmy: You'd have to run into him first Jimmy: even for an athlete like you, that's a challenge too far Janis: #officebants Janis: save it for Pete Jimmy: giving you a freebie to woo him with Jimmy: welcome Janis: if you knew how, you would've already Jimmy: might've done, how would you know? Jimmy: gotta keep it off the socials for your sake Janis: 😂 Janis: you think you'd be better at faking it by now Jimmy: oh you've got complaints, eh? Jimmy: go on Janis: don't you have an official procedure to follow Janis: another question to ask Jimmy: not on the clock, babe Janis: 'course Janis: so sick Janis: poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: wow, way to ruin my day Janis: 💔 Jimmy: too soon to start posting vent statuses probably Jimmy: poor little rich girl Janis: I'll deal with getting consoled on the low, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you gotta bring the kids or Jimmy: or what, lock 'em in? Janis: I dunno, your sister ain't that young is she Jimmy: she's not coming Janis: okay Janis: well I won't keep you Jimmy: I'm on the dog's 💩 schedule not yours Janis: yeah but you know what I mean Jimmy: you're busy, you don't need to kill your horse to flog it, Jasmine Jimmy: point made Janis: if you like Jimmy: how? Janis: how? Jimmy: how are my likes owt to do with it? Janis: well that ain't what I meant so it must suit you at the very least Jimmy: what did you mean? Janis: that I ain't gonna hang 'round and cause drama Janis: I remember waking him up last night, like Jimmy: he's got swings and a slide and climbing frame, on top of a puppy to chase, he's not gonna give a shit about me or you Jimmy: my sister's the one being dramatic and as I said, she ain't coming Janis: well either way Janis: I shouldn't have come back, like so Jimmy: you didn't stay, it don't matter Janis: I know that ain't how it works Janis: got enough inconsiderate older brothers and sisters, like Jimmy: how it works is I was back later than I said Jimmy: nowt to do with you Janis: literally untrue Jimmy: you were there, don't mean you get it Jimmy: no need to unlock my family dynamics Janis: ain't trying or planning to Janis: I kept you out late and I'm trying to say soz so take it Jimmy: like you forced me, piss off Janis: didn't mean to get you in trouble with your boss, like Jimmy: you didn't Janis: sounds like it Jimmy: where you getting that from? Janis: she's giving you the 🥶 out Jimmy: she's giving me the 🖕 Jimmy: used to that Janis: 🎻 Janis: alright then, I'm here early Janis: gonna do some laps, text when you're here or something Jimmy: [appears not long after like oh hey but not texting cos can't be tamed] Janis: [when you're shook again but hide it like boy, putting your hand out like purse please] Jimmy: [chucks it at her obvs which makes Twix a little bit wild] Janis: [meet cute with the dog lmao, also saying hello to Bobby 'cos you aren't that rude] Jimmy: [when Bobby ain't saying hello back cos shy egg but Twix is friendly enough for everyone] Janis: [not gonna take it personal, like, even if this is so awks now, takes a few snaps of Twix and turns to him like yay or nay?] Jimmy: [takes some pics of her and Twix in response cos nothing fake about that love or cuteness and it's a good delaying tactic before you have to pose with the bae yourself] Janis: [takes him his messy self and is 😏 but can't be properly smug 'cos feeling it too] Janis: in* Jimmy: [he's literally 😎 but grumpier lol then he has to let Bobby take some pics cos the boy wanna do whatever he does like bear with bae] Janis: [when that's shamelessly cute so you just chill on a bench nearby, giving love to Twix when she comes 'round Jimmy: [when you go sit on a swing so your brother will but you gotta beckon her over to sit on it with you for the pics and it's gonna be so awks bye] Janis: [when you just have to commit to it 'cos overcompensate always] Jimmy: [taking so many pics and vids for the different angles honey] Janis: [when you're still looking #goals oh lads, as if you're not dying at having to be sat on him rn] Jimmy: [when he's likewise dying at her being on his lap though #don'tletherseedon'tletherknow] Janis: [you do not need this many pictures, hop off] Jimmy: [when you then spend 3x as long as it takes to go through 'em deleting etc cos the awks] Janis: send me any decent ones Jimmy: [does] Janis: tah Jimmy: 💕 Janis: have fun Jimmy: without you, never, baby 😘 Janis: [does lil lol as she's slowly walking away like okay then, but Twix keeps following so it's taking a while] Janis: come get your dog Jimmy: take it with you Janis: don't be mean Janis: it's adorable Jimmy: have it then Janis: the kid don't hate me yet, don't throw me under the bus as a 🐶napper Jimmy: he ain't noticed, on you go Janis: he will do Janis: you just want me to walk it, yeah Jimmy: Keep it Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: we need to buy one together and have a custody battle Jimmy: alright Jimmy: let's go adopt a new 🐶 Janis: what breed Jimmy: what's #trending? Jimmy: leave this one tied to the roundabout, hang on Janis: not with your brother Janis: get rspca and social on you Jimmy: I'll send him home Jimmy: note pinned to his coat, like Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: don't cry, you'll get a headache Janis: so comforting Janis: #baeoftheyear Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt darling Janis: I've had my vitamin c already Janis: but we can pretend you hit me with a smoothie of 💕 Janis: ew Jimmy: do you genuinely have a vomit kink or what? Jimmy: getting me close, girl 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: trying to put me off my 🍕 before I've ordered it Jimmy: Mia would be proud Janis: hot Janis: 😬 I didn't think that sentence through leave me alone Janis: I'm not on top form rn Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: knew you were wrecked too Janis: not as much as you, boy Jimmy: I drank more than you, lightweight Janis: yeah, 'cos you stole it Janis: wanker Jimmy: you stole my jacket, I didn't wanna freeze to death Janis: I did not Janis: you wouldn't take it back Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: I remember being gutted it WAS you, trust me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: heartless, me Jimmy: You wanna fill that hole with pizza or keep flirting with me? Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: it's an easy question Jimmy: how many braincells did you 💀💀💀 last night, pisshead? Janis: sounded sordid Janis: I was just wondering if #kinkunlocked Jimmy: Are you hungry or not? You know I'm a feeder Janis: Yeah, I could eat Jimmy: so come on back to the house of fun Janis: sure Jimmy: [rounding up dogs and kids like but Bobby's in a mood cos he wanna stay so Jimmy's like FINE I'll get it delivered to the park ffs so then he gotta text Cass to get her to come over lol] Janis: [moves closer to 'em again, sits on said roundabout Jimmy: [sits with her obvs when you lowkey lying there cos you feel crap] Janis: [popping out some painkillers like here boy] Jimmy: [when you dry swallow cos you ain't got a drink & then stick your tongue out to show her they gone cos you a nerd] Janis: [pat his head like he's a dog] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: [pushing back his fringe 'cos sweaty forehead] Jimmy: [thank god he's got his shades on so he can look at her & she doesn't need to know that he isn't a grumpy boy in that moment] Janis: [when Bobby wants to be pushed so she's like is it okay if I do it 'cos Jimmy is in no fit state lol and Bobby is like okay 'cos just wants to be pushed and she ain't up in his face] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be snapping sneaky pics of them cos cute. Also I like to imagine Twix annoying him as he's tryna chill lol] Janis: [just loling to herself 'cos also cute] Janis: probably go sleep on something that doesn't spin 'round and 'round, babe Jimmy: I'm not going to sleep, I'm 💀💀💀ing tah very much Jimmy: show some respect all of you Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll save the kind words and tears for when you gone Janis: gotta fake it 'til the end Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: what do you wanna eat? pizza faves weren't on our couples questionnaire Janis: anything hot, anything with meat on Janis: I'm easy tbh Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Oh, shut up Jimmy: or what? Janis: or I'll come give you a push Jimmy: so fierce you 🐅 Janis: better hope you never find out, boy Janis: 👊 Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [a wild Cass appears and ignores everyone but Twix cos mad about last night still] Jimmy: you've got competition now, mate Janis: nah, you're on your own Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: got enough sisters of my own to deal with without taking on yours Janis: you'll need to fake marry a bitch for that level of service Jimmy: swap you Gracie, she likes me Jimmy: [goes to talk to Cass and she shouts at him as is their standard, really helping that headache] Janis: happily Janis: beats crying Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [Keeping Bobby busy running 'round the park like a crazy person] Jimmy: [if this weren't awks before thanks Cass just don't smack him his fake gf don't need to see that before she's even met you] Janis: she'll cheer up when pizza gets here Janis: all been hangry Jimmy: subtle hint that, Judith Janis: I'm being lovely, fuck off Jimmy: not to me Janis: you really gonna push a child off the swing to have a go Janis: not #goals mate, not #goals at all Jimmy: you really gonna let my sister think my girlfriend don't like me Jimmy: #savage Janis: Yeah, what she needs right now is some PDA Janis: love me for that, like Jimmy: you leapt to that, mate Jimmy: lads and lasses can talk you know Janis: You know I don't talk Janis: we been over this Janis: #specialsnowflakesyouandme Jimmy: we've been over this, you have to fake it Jimmy: I get that you really wanna kiss me but everything else Janis: 😒 Janis: you really want another woman in your face rn, fine Janis: [comes over like hey] Jimmy: [drags her far enough away that they can 🚬 without being around kids or dogs] Janis: [grateful for the break but also more awks 'cos just them again] Jimmy: [smoking in awkward silence such fun lads] Janis: [taps his head, not roughly, like, how're you doing now?] Jimmy: [shrugs because v helpful always] Janis: ['good talk' like ain't that what we're meant to be doing lmao] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna' like here's your out for a sec, take it] Janis: [goes to shake head but turns it into a shrug] Jimmy: [on his phone like an antisocial bitch] Janis: [when you're bouncing your legs up and down 'cos can't sit still at the best of times, just keeping an eye out for the pizza hardcore] Jimmy: [meanwhile you just straight up sit on the floor cos you realise you don't need to be standing rn] Janis: [Twix gonna jump you boy] Jimmy: [when you're like come here cos you don't want the dog in your grill so the bae MUST sit on you instead, that's just logical and nbd] Janis: [when you look at him like really?] Jimmy: [ just lifting your shades so you can look at her like come on] Janis: [does and gives him a look like 'I hate you so much' but when it's also a LOOK] Jimmy: [is 😏 but when she's sitting with her he's just touching her in the SOFTEST ways like playing with her hair & so lightly tracing her skin with a fingertip that you might think it's a bug or something lol cos tired af since he barely slept and is the softest boy] Janis: [when there's no faking that you ain't about it 'cos you have never felt anything on this level of soft so you don't know how you're meant to be so you're like help] Jimmy: [when you're then just leaning on her so its lowkey snuggling] Janis: [when you literally say 'what the fuck' but quietly and with feeling] Jimmy: [when you don't say anything cos what can you tbh] Janis: [gotta have that pizza show up to cockblock] Jimmy: [just casually gonna go eat pizza with the fam like that didn't happen okay boy] Janis: [when you're just there like do I stay or do I go] Jimmy: [when you literally handhold her over to the fam like eat your pizza but obvs its so fake bye] Janis: [palm a couple of slices and yeet babe like g2g bye] Jimmy: [Twix is 💔 we're all 💔] Janis: [give her some sneaky pizza kids] Jimmy: [nomming the crusts like a Roo] Janis: [getting tooty] Jimmy: [well that was awkward, thanks so much Jimothy] Janis: [later like early PM] Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: ? Janis: doesn't matter if I can't come over/you can't come out but just meet me for obligatory selfies to prove we're together Jimmy: where? Janis: doesn't matter, can be a #datenight or #cosynightinwithbae but gimme fake plans to get me out of real & unwanted ones Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come here then Janis: you home now? Jimmy: I'm not gonna send you somewhere I ain't, am I? Janis: alright smartarse Janis: was being courteous Janis: be there in fucking forever 'cos gotta get the bus in Jimmy: I just got out the shower if you need details, like Jimmy: you want me to meet you somewhere else? Janis: I did not need to know but I'll get the 😍 on then, tah Janis: nah, it's fine, got to get out this house anyway, wherever I'm going Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Tell Mia I missed her today before you go if she's there #obvs Janis: how did you know Janis: but get to fuck Janis: she's being avoided #obvs Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: How did I recognise an #obvs SOS or the #obvs cause when I heard it? Janis: yeah well it's all your fault so you should be more ready to help Janis: #letdown tbh Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: they wouldn't be strongarming me into a sleepover if you weren't a thing Janis: but you can be my excuse too so do me a solid and make it good Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you're v loved babe and you were before I took the job on Janis: oh yeah, so loved Janis: no doubt end up getting waterboarded for info Janis: #justgirlythings Jimmy: 😂 Janis: it is not funny 😡 Jimmy: a bit Janis: 😑 Janis: swap places with me then Janis: sure they'd welcome that just as much Jimmy: if I wanted an orgy with 'em it'd have happened before now Janis: 🤢 Janis: literally shut up Jimmy: you should've got me to pick you up Janis: in what Janis: your sportscar Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: I've got the 🐎 don't I Jimmy: might've turned it to glue Jimmy: party animal you are Janis: is that what you're thinking then Janis: party? Jimmy: what are you wearing? Janis: 😏 the creep makes a return Janis: wys I should be wearing Janis: bus ain't even here yet so Jimmy: Look down, girl, are you night in ready or night out ready? Janis: I dunno, obviously I've not rolled out club-ready like a nutter Jimmy: stop pissing about and send me a picture 🙄 Janis: ffs alright! Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: [snap] Jimmy: fuck it, let's go out Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: a knobhead from work is having people round, I weren't gonna bother but Ian's just got in Jimmy: don't wanna double with him and his missus Janis: definitely not Janis: nothing goals in that Janis: works for me Janis: not such a knobhead he'll have a dresscode, yeah? Jimmy: hot girls get to ignore dresscodes, how don't you know that? Janis: I would've probably put jeans on still Janis: what happens when you're forced from your own home without warning Jimmy: he wears shorts all year round, don't worry, like Janis: not got the legs for it Janis: I understand Jimmy: I'll dress the same as you mate, make it a #mood Jimmy: we're just one of them couples Janis: ha, if I use the # twinning not in reference to her, gracie will deffo cry Janis: worth it just for that Jimmy: there you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I'm going shop so we ain't empty handed, what do you want? Janis: can't be THAT couple Janis: you want me to tell you I'm easy again 'cos Janis: not fussed Jimmy: my mum would cry, didn't drag me up like that 🙄 Jimmy: 😏😏😏 Janis: such a 💔breaker you Janis: but really, just get more of whatever you want and that'll be fine, I'll get you back when I get there Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: no need to flex rich girl Jimmy: you're a cheap date Jimmy: didn't even stay for icecream or owt earlier Janis: so I'm cheap and easy Janis: yeah, keep digging, like 😏 Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: have you not got a jacket or were you just #posing 'cause you're a massive flirt? Janis: why would I need a jacket when you're handing yours away like a philanthropic chippendale Janis: how dare you imply I was implying anything, also Jimmy: I can't even read them words Jimmy: too northern for that shit tah Jimmy: I'll just grab you one #OMG #soannoying Jimmy: how dare you flirt with me so openly, anyone'd reckon that's what snapchat was invented for or something Janis: Chippendales are SO northern, shut up Janis: I've done my research, I take this seriously, tah Janis: you know, too much nip for Insta, could post it on twitter if you're feeling too special rn Jimmy: I didn't get that far the word before it was well big and tripped me over Jimmy: as for my research the 🐶 ate it, soz Janis: Cute but disappointing Janis: if I was to give you a yelp review Jimmy: she is Jimmy: get used to that Janis: omg Janis: so mean Jimmy: 🐶💔 Janis: We're gonna make a club Janis: get jackets that ain't yours Jimmy: you're so fake Jimmy: couldn't do one fast enough from her before Janis: oh yeah, that's deffo what that was Jimmy: ain't stopped crying 'bout it, the poor pup Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: again, your fault Janis: and you ain't even sorry Janis: poor, poor pup Jimmy: I only take the blame for shit I ain't done for my real girlfriends Janis: plural now Jimmy: past and future, duh Janis: duh indeed Janis: hopeful Janis: it's cute Jimmy: say what you really think, Janet Janis: always do Jimmy: [sends her pic of his outfit] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: I mean Janis: not as good as me but you'll do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🍻🤞 Jimmy: don't let me get as wrecked Jimmy: If I have to call in sick tomorrow an' all, you'll have to pay me Janis: So I'm babysitter Janis: alright Janis: easy Jimmy: I've done it all day, swapsies Janis: not me Jimmy: could've if you'd been here Janis: you reckon Janis: last I remember you was about half 💀💀💀 Jimmy: you're calling yourself high maintenance now? Jimmy: easy a bit ago Janis: just saying Janis: you needed looking after more than me Jimmy: leave it out Janis: why Jimmy: why not be a massive dickhead? Jimmy: up to you that Janis: you wanna play nice? Janis: n'awh Jimmy: you're the one asking me for a favour Jimmy: so you do Janis: nah Janis: I asked for a photo, that's all Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: charming Jimmy: you just said you don't want that Janis: you're very, very annoying Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: but I'm on the bus Jimmy: congrats, mate Jimmy: I know it's beneath you 👑 Janis: piss off Janis: I spend half my life on this fucking bus Jimmy: shouldn't have done your 🐎 in Janis: s'what happens when I'm done w you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: got my headphones but thank you Janis: efforts are always appreciated, boy Jimmy: 😘 don't mention it, babe Jimmy: anything for you obvs Janis: too kind Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: let me know when you're about then Janis: yeah 'course Janis: it's about half an hour so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: damn Janis: how haven't I asked Janis: is my fave barista gonna be there or what Jimmy: ??? Jimmy: man of mystery him Janis: how irritating yet attractive of him Jimmy: I keep telling you, slide into his DMs, girl Jimmy: sort it out Janis: not right now Janis: biding my time Jimmy: probably got a gig anyway 🤩🤩 Janis: exactly Jimmy: if I had anywhere else better to be Janis: what you gonna do eh Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: gutted Jimmy: give us a chance to get in the door before you leave your review Jimmy: bit rude shouting it from a bus window Janis: that's me Janis: got money but no manners Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: 😏 what mine or yours Janis: #transparent Jimmy: weren't speaking for you Jimmy: we ain't that couple Janis: 😶😶 Janis: that couple Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: What? Janis: how much of last night do you remember Janis: 'cos my memory is a bit fucked Jimmy: after I lifted that bottle, I dunno, why? Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: probably not, no Janis: just Janis: idk Jimmy: Just? Janis: It ain't my usual thing Janis: losing massive chunks of time like that Jimmy: doing shots ain't my usual thing, is it yours? Janis: no Jimmy: none tonight then Janis: not for you, anyway Janis: I don't need to work 💰💸🍀 Jimmy: you ain't doing 'em without me, you dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: fine Janis: be doubly entertaining then Jimmy: 1. full time job holding all that hair back tah and I'm on the clock enough Jimmy: 2. piss off I'm the CG's top employee so goes without saying life and soul of this party Janis: 1. I could put it up, IF I was going to vom but that's so unlikely it's almost an impossibility so Janis: 2. I don't work there so your shop bants will have no effect on me and I'm the one you're trying to please here Jimmy: 1. your kink is so blatant shut up oh my god Jimmy: 2. you'll be pleased by all the drinks I just bought #easy Janis: 1. 😑 Janis: 2. 😑 Janis: do you wanna get me drunk or nah, make up your mind, lad Jimmy: Baby, don't be expressionless, it's 💔 Janis: [pulls stupid face to send him] Janis: ❤🔫 Jimmy: my heart has grown back! and loads of sizes 😍 Janis: #humblebrag Jimmy: send that tweet Janis: ❤ or 🍆 lads, you decide Janis: I'll start a poll Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Why did you fuck off last night, is that in the black hole or what? Janis: I can't remember exactly Janis: just weird fragments that don't quite fit together like I've got it secondhand or something Jimmy: go on Janis: it don't make any sense Janis: but like you said, doubt it matters Jimmy: probably not Janis: I am p sure it weren't 'cos we woke any of your fam up or something so Janis: so don't need to worry Jimmy: that was before and only our kid Jimmy: he always wakes up when I come back Jimmy: if he was even asleep Janis: yeah, I remember that too Janis: did you get him to sleep in the end Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: what? Jimmy: did I get water? If he let me do that I must've Janis: Yeah Janis: 'cos you scared the shit out of me Jimmy: Did I? 😂 Janis: I thought that was earlier but no, yeah Janis: definitely on the sofa Janis: softer than the park Jimmy: You scared me earlier Jimmy: that's why Janis: did I? Jimmy: I was walking and you showed up like 👻🔪🔪 Janis: how mean Janis: sounds legit, I believe you Jimmy: well creepy that was Jimmy: tah Janis: you're the creeper Jimmy: leave that right out Janis: didn't say I hated it Jimmy: didn't say you liked it Janis: what's it to you Jimmy: nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: there we go then Jimmy: what kind of picture do you need? Janis: just one to prove we're somewhere doing something Janis: I was purposely vague about our plans in case you were already out or something Jimmy: 👌 Janis: no way I was sleeping in a room with Mia in Janis: actually end up 👻 Jimmy: you can stay at mine if you want, she'll probably use your pillow for black magic Jimmy: or spooning Jimmy: bit rude of us not to lend her a sharpie so she could draw your face on Jimmy: turn the bus around like Janis: 😂 Janis: don't, it's too real and it makes me feel uncomfortable Janis: defs looking for hair and fingernails as we speak Jimmy: How haven't I drawn you and sold it to her for 💰💰💰💰 Jimmy: going soft me Janis: always on the clock, babe Janis: it'll kill your creativity/soul Janis: 💁 Jimmy: I bet you real cash she'd eat it 🐍 Jimmy: what are the calories of paper and pencil? Janis: anything over negative is too high, but she'd get the pleasure of puking me up that way so Janis: it's a must Jimmy: can't compete with such romance, fuck me 💕 Janis: well she gets to fuck everyone so only fair Jimmy: not me Jimmy: or you Janis: ❄❄ Jimmy: your sister 100% Janis: 🤢 Janis: disgusting Jimmy: trying to get you to vom 'cause you're so into it and I'm that kind of boyfriend 🤞 Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: easier ways, I'm sure Janis: but know you're an 🎨 Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: 💘 Janis: no shots, remember Jimmy: nowts a shot unless it's in a shot glass Janis: yeah, that's how that works Janis: 😏 Jimmy: means I have everything to play with and more space to mix it Janis: oh god Jimmy: bigger measures for you to down too Janis: I'm babysitting you, remember Jimmy: You just might die trying though, Juliet Janis: behave Jimmy: or what? Janis: find out Jimmy: alright Janis: alright Jimmy: is your bus anywhere near yet, it's fucking miserable out here Janis: you don't wanna wait inside Jimmy: weren't given the nod for that one Jimmy: Ian threw his weight about and me out Jimmy: earnt himself some 😍😍😍 Janis: Gross Janis: wtf Jimmy: 🎻 and 🤢 Janis: well, we ain't that far Janis: you should get a head start on the drinks if you ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is he gonna let you back in later Janis: you could come back to mine but you would have to pretend to have crazy hot sex with me if the coven is still lurking so Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Cass'll post a key through Janis: 👍 Janis: gotta stick together vs the 'rents Jimmy: we can't be as late back though Janis: yeah Janis: whenever's fine Jimmy: you're easy, I get it Janis: shut up 😏 Janis: the favour is the alibi, anything else is just extra Jimmy: most of my wage is tips, I'm gonna keep you out all night now Jimmy: habit Janis: so above and beyond, babe 💕 Jimmy: 💰🐮💕 Jimmy: can you remember what we drew? should go check out the finished masterpiece #🎨 Jimmy: got a mental image of you sucking on the end of my sharpie there but otherwise nowt much Janis: Filth Janis: 😂 Janis: when we find out it's as intelligible as smeared shit on the walls, like but seemed like a masterpiece at the time Jimmy: when you reckon its 🥇 but it ain't even 🥉 Jimmy: #tragic Janis: hopefully we didn't sign it 😱 Jimmy: shit I probably did do! Jimmy: cut my hand off instead of my ear so I can't be that dickhead Jimmy: still post it to you though 💌 Janis: this country ain't quite THAT religious Janis: but romantic Janis: I'll keep it in a jar Jimmy: I won't tell you I'm ambidextrous and it's another scam, that'll take the shine right off the gesture Jimmy: and that's witchcraft in the north if it ain't here Jimmy: gotta take the secret to my grave naturally Janis: you are SUCH a show-off Janis: but I'm left-handed so we can get burnt together Jimmy: don't be a HATER when I'm trusting you with my secrets Jimmy: obvs you are #evil twin Jimmy: so romantic though #datenight 🔥💕 Janis: it's just REALLY obvious you want me to ask what them hands do Jimmy: if you need to ask I'm not fake dating you hard enough Jimmy: the answer is obviously 🚬 and ✎ Janis: yeah yeah, I'll study when I need to Janis: you're easy too Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm well hard 💪 Janis: 😏 Janis: mhmm Janis: if anyone asks Jimmy: you ran away from them questions mate Jimmy: 💀👑 will be in my DMs asking herself Janis: well excuse me for not sticking around to stroke your ego and quench their thirst Janis: not interested in either soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: what better review than I gotta run to you soon as your mentioned? Janis: think on, boy Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I never said you were bad at this Janis: not directly anyway Janis: you can say I'm good, go on Jimmy: You're SO good baby 💕😍💘 Janis: 😂 Janis: 😩💦 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: so in the party mood now Janis: and not a moment too soon, just pulling up, like Jimmy: [waves cos let's say he went there cos sick of sitting on his doorstep] Janis: [snaps a pic 'cos #goals and gets off the bus like 😏 'don't have to convince the driver how in love we are do we, 'cos I can run at you if you're feeling it?'] Jimmy: [throws a jacket at her cos always and a distraction from how much he'd love that] Janis: [when you appraise it like you've been really fashion and you're not sure but obvs you put it on with a grin and a 'tah'] Jimmy: [🙄 but a playful one so also 😏] Janis: ['can you lead the way this time or am I your personal satnav again?] Jimmy: [playfully dragging her off by the arm cos actually does know where he's going but gotta take her to the pub or something first anyway cos you can't show up this early] Janis: [lowkey happy nerds always] Jimmy: [throws her snacks he bought for her when he bought the drinks cos she didn't stay for much pizza and he don't know if she got to eat at hers before she ran away #considerate] Janis: ['#feeder' but nudges him like thanks and noms] Jimmy: [nudges her back and gives her his phone so she can reply to Mia again cos fave] Janis: [when you 🙄 but not playfully at her lack of shame lmao] Jimmy: [give it up gurl Grace fancied him anyways so #girlcode] Janis: [always hitting her with those exclusive selfies lol] Jimmy: [love that, going harder than you need to always] Janis: [shudders 'if you ever go there, actually got no respect for you' Jimmy: ['if I ever go there, kill me. Tah. Don't wanna live without my dick when it shrivels and falls off'] Janis: [lols and does a 💔 with her hands like poor baby 'I'll put you out of your misery, mate; what are friends for, after-all'] Jimmy: [nods his thanks and offers her a 🚬] Janis: [shakes her head but takes it okay gurl] Jimmy: [lights it for her as per before his own even cos pecking order] Janis: [tips her imaginary hat to him] Jimmy: [walking and smoking as standard] Janis: ['So, on a scale of manager to Pete, where does this one fall? Need to know how small to make my talk, like'] Jimmy: ['if manager Dave is 0, this lad is like a 2' does the 💔 with his hands like unlucky] Janis: [makes ott disappointed face 'damn, weather and sports it is, okay'] Jimmy: [makes an OTT pouty face to hide the fact he's actually jealous because in my head this lad is 'cute' but in like a really basic way haha] Janis: [pinches his cheeks like a grandmother] Jimmy: [playfight moment] Janis: [always a moment, don't mind them] Jimmy: [let her win though cos we know its real] Janis: [irl 💪] Jimmy: [dramatic bow down cos he's a nerd] Janis: ['you're welcome' 😏] Jimmy: [gives her a bottle of whatever like shhh] Janis: ['Slainte' and knocking it back 'cos start as you mean to go on] Jimmy: [giving her like a steady on kinda look but is 😏 for #bants not concern vibe cos can't say anything actually cos he's as bad we know] Janis: ['don't worry, I'll keep it from you' and not passing it and another swig with a grin 'cos best babysitter ever] Jimmy: [takes it cos gotta prove you're still 💪 and takes a swig with a cheeky wink and it's hotter than it needs to be thank you boy] Janis: [when you can't even be mad but you have a go at pretending still 'cos otherwise] Jimmy: [pass it back like love me again] Janis: [just having a time, don't mind them] Jimmy: [realistically how far can this pub be so enjoy yourselves in these streets while you can lads] Janis: [also where you putting these bottles lads] Jimmy: [let's hope he has some kind of bag with him for the unopened ones at least cos can't show up empty handed] Janis: [my boo is horrified lmao] Jimmy: [he had snacks too so he weren't carrying all that #justsayin] Janis: [you silly, also get a round in girl] Jimmy: [when this bit will probs be better than the party lbr] Janis: [ahh shit house parties, perfect bonding ground 😈] Jimmy: [we know you can make it look fun for the socials kids] Janis: [when she defs would've got him something and coke so she could pretend it was just coke for a hot sec lmao] Jimmy: [such a cute nerd move he'd have to lol] Janis: [when he's shamelessly got a cute laugh bye] Jimmy: [when you make her play darts or pool or whatever cos you lost the playfight and you wanna win] Janis: [always down for a competition] Jimmy: [but she should win again so he's a sulky bitch] Janis: come on, be my mate Janis: [kicking, but gently lol, under the table] Jimmy: [is 😒 and ignoring like hmmm just gonna drank and play with this beermat] Janis: [kicks a bit harder like oi] Janis: you're rude Jimmy: [gives her a look like what?] Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 😑 Janis: another one or Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: missed the please Janis: work on the thank you for when I'm back 👍 Janis: [goes] Jimmy: soz mum Janis: don't make it weird Jimmy: like she were in the room there then Jimmy: it was weird Janis: 😒 Janis: shut up Jimmy: it was rude a bit ago when I tried that Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: don't have to Janis: if I'm a mum I'm always right 'cos I say so Jimmy: if you're impersonating mine you ain't Janis: I'm not going method Janis: and if that's a #kinkunlocked I gotta go like Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're making it weirder than I went for Janis: then shh Jimmy: I get it, telling me what to do is one of yours Jimmy: I wouldn't have reckoned on you as that predictable but alright Janis: piss off Janis: I don't wanna be your mommy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [come back with that drink huffily and just be on your phone] Jimmy: [down it cos that's the mood] Janis: [awks again] Jimmy: [gdi Jimothy you're always making the vibe off] Jimmy: [just on socials putting in that werk like you're love's young dream for her though cos as close to a sorry as we're getting rn is when its working and the fans are loving your efforts so bae's getting all the notifications] Janis: nice work Jimmy: [shrugs and goes to get more drinks like here's a real peace offering] Janis: [nods head like tah and does small smile but genuine] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [just showing him all the highkey responses and loling] Jimmy: [take a moment to bond over how ridiculous everyone is like] Janis: [just like why do they care so much] Jimmy: [we know its cos you two walking around looking like models] Janis: [#hotcouplealert] Jimmy: [gotta do the jj love heart doodle everywhere they go soz to the tabletop but not] Janis: [snap that honey] Jimmy: [also take a moment to text Cass and make sure she's alright boy] Jimmy: [okay but Cass sending him a pic he drew of jj on the swing together cos she's like why are you gross but you upload that art to your insta because #fans] Jimmy: {Bobby drew it not Jimmy lol] Janis: ['He's so cute'] Jimmy: ['And talented. Made you look cute an' all' boy stop playing you think she's hot af] Janis: [makes 'oh please' noise, 'gives you a run for your money, deffo'] Jimmy: [kicks her like she did to him earlier but is 😏 not 😒] Janis: [squeezes his arm in a pisstakey supportive way like 'it'll be okay, babe'] Jimmy: [flicks some drink at her face like you did to me the other day] Janis: ['you want this whole drink on your head or what? but not actually mad 'cos always here for the flirty bants over awks any day] Jimmy: ['or what' because always gonna say that, giving her such a LOOK excuse you Jimothy you're too sober for this] Janis: [just a LOOK back] Jimmy: [when he just leans across the table and it's such a kiss moment but instead he wipes her face for her with the sleeve of whatever hoodie he has on but that's even more intimate so how dare you tbh] Janis: [when you're so 😳 you're like gotta go loo bye] Jimmy: [just shamelessly watch her go we all know it] Jimmy: get on a move on, we're going after Janis: alright, piss police Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: not a kink before you say it tah Janis: yeah, how defensive you were dead sold that one, mate 👍 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: it's a bit of a fucking walk and you're the only one getting a boner for exercise round here, Julie Janis: I already knew you couldn't keep up, babe Janis: didn't need to admit it Janis: I'll go slow for you 💕 Janis: [comes out like ready] Jimmy: stay here and take it slow with the barman if you're gonna be a dickhead Jimmy: [is walking ahead like excuse you I'm so 💪] Janis: [hangs back like she's pondering but then shrugs and follows being loud like 'He's not my type so shoot your shot if you're feeling it'] Jimmy: [mimes a 🎻] Janis: ['Don't be sad, with no competition from me, you stand a chance now' encouraging 👍 up] Jimmy: [ignoring cos so mature] Janis: [walking annoyingly close to him like speeding up when he does and slowing down when he do like you can't ignore me boy] Jimmy: [🚬 without offering her one like yeah I can] Janis: [just a look and noise like wow, it be like that, yeah?] Jimmy: [does the dramatic look around like oh did I hear something cos nerd] Janis: ['I friggin' hate you, you know'] Jimmy: [gives her a bemused look cos no you don't] Janis: [snatches that 🚬 so rudely] Jimmy: [lights another for himself with an OTT sigh] Janis: ['what you being a dickhead for?'] Jimmy: ['what are you always trying to pimp me out for?'] Janis: ['you what?'] Jimmy: [I said, what are you always trying to pimp me out to the locals for? If I was #dtf I wouldn't be fake dating you, would I?'] Janis: ['Erm, obviously, it was a joke; if you needed or wanted a wingman, I ain't interested, trust'] Jimmy: ['so hilarious you'] Janis: ['Jesus, sorry, forget I said anything'] Jimmy: [shugs like consider my memory erased] Janis: [when you start walking ahead but only a bit 'cos you don't know where you're going so can't fully walk off, like] Jimmy: [when you obvs catch her up and are walking in step like you can't ignore me either this goes both ways] Janis: [the most exasperated look] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I must] Janis: ['Don't even'] Jimmy: [don't even what?' he's so annoying omg] Janis: ['Stop it, I swear to GOD'] Jimmy: [gives her a look that's stop what? cos not gonna say it but such a twat still] Janis: ['fuck this' under her breath and actual walking off] Jimmy: [not gonna let her so following 'what was it you said? be my mate, come on'] Janis: ['you don't wanna be mates' and looking ahead keeping walking] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't wanna be my mum you're about as determined to fuck off'] Janis: [just turning around like what but not actually saying it] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna go home and neither do I, so let's just go to the party, yeah?'] Janis: [shrugs 'whatever'] Jimmy: [drags her back in the right direction but really gently] Janis: ['this don't mean we're friends'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be friends with you' cos ain't that the truth] Janis: [just trying not to look so hurt] Jimmy: ['And I am a dickhead, there's your answer for why I was being one'] Janis: ['I don't care'] Jimmy: ['why'd you ask then?'] Janis: ['Didn't say I didn't at the time, it's irrelevant now'] Jimmy: [hits her with a shrug of his own] Janis: [nods like exactly] Jimmy: [gives her a look like wtf is that meant to mean as if he don't know] Janis: ['how much further?] Jimmy: [tells her, let's pretend not that far but far enough they gotta walk awkwardly for a bit longer] Janis: [picks up pace] Jimmy: [does a bit but not that much cos unfit af] Janis: ['gimme the bag'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like um no] Janis: [gives him a ffs look back 'give it here or hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [goes slower cos that bitch aka me] Janis: ['I might not wanna go home but I can still think of better things to do, seriously'] Jimmy: ['Go and do 'em then'] Janis: ['I tried to but you stopped me and I gave you a second chance for some fucking reason but fuck this now'] Jimmy: ['We're pissing distance from this lad's back garden, stop being a knobhead'] Janis: ['You ain't thinking this through, why the hell would we wanna be somewhere we've gotta fake all of this a moment longer?'] Jimmy: ['why do we have to fake owt? You wanted one pic, we've uploaded shitloads'] Janis: ['Um, because it'll look fucking weird if we ain't couply when everyone at this party knows we're meant to be'] Jimmy: ['Mia treats 'em like staff they ain't gonna gossip with her like besties'] Janis: ['You go in and do what you like then, I've got no reason to be here'] Jimmy: ['there's reasons'] Janis: ['yeah' purposefully sounding ambiguous to as if that was a question or nah] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna make me say 'em or what?'] Janis: [when you're just like 'ha' 'cos clearly not happening and just start walking with again like alright] Jimmy: [give her an I hate you look that so isn't] Janis: ['I got it, yeah, now can you fucking light up, I need to smoke before going in there'] Jimmy: [does because it's his job 5ever] Janis: [just smoking your feelings lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: ['why don't you wanna be my friend?'] Jimmy: ['why do you wanna be my friend?'] Janis: ['why are you incapable of answering a question straight?'] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't care why do you care so fucking much?'] Janis: ['if I ask a question, I want an answer, simple'] Jimmy: ['what if it's not?' fucked yourself then, ain't you, mate'] Janis: ['that ain't the point, I'm asking what you think, what you know, whatever the fuck the context is, I don't ask you so you can turn it around on me like I don't know all that about me already'] Jimmy: ['the point is, rich girl, this ain't your world, your parents just paid for a bigger house on a nicer bit of it, and I don't properly work for you sweetheart, so I can do owt I like. Better yet speech is free and I can say whatever the fuck I wanna an' all.'] Janis: ['yeah? and what are you saying then, Jimmy? fuck all. so if you'll excuse me-' and bowling inside like you know this lad personally but you know he ain't gonna mind] Jimmy: [staying outside as if that makes a bit of difference or any real deliberate point other than you can't be around the bae] Jimmy: Alright, what I'm saying is I don't wanna do this anymore Jimmy: deal's off Janis: Alright Janis: fine Janis: thanks for telling me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: any reason why beyond the obvious or Jimmy: why are the reasons any of your business? Jimmy: in the fine print was it, that Janis: because I was in it too and I'd tell you if I just switched out of nowhere with no warning Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 👍 Jimmy: I just want out, we can do it however you like Jimmy: take the night and sort it Janis: wow generous Jimmy: that's me Janis: I don't need time, it's easy Janis: I'll get with this lad, you can 'find' out Jimmy: I'm not making you look bad that's not part of it Janis: How do you reckon on making me look good Jimmy: He's a fucking 2, we can do more than that for you, like Janis: You wanna vet the lad I fake cheat with Janis: that's not mental at all Jimmy: 'cause all of this has been dead sane Janis: yeah, and you want out so you can quit acting like you remotely give a shit Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: it don't look great for me if you fake fuck my ugly co-workers Janis: welll I DON'T care Janis: you said I can do it however I like Jimmy: I reckoned on you being smart when I said that is why Janis: nah you reckoned on me caring to make you look good too, why should I Jimmy: it was the deal if nowt else Janis: the deal is off, by your request Jimmy: you're such a massive dickhead Janis: you Jimmy: you don't get it Janis: what don't I get Jimmy: what do you get? Janis: piss off if you're starting that again Janis: came in here to get away from that Jimmy: you can't answer it 'cause the answer is nowt Jimmy: but you think we can be mates Janis: and you do? alright Janis: you don't answer anything so glass houses Janis: pot kettle, whatever else Jimmy: 👌 Janis: bye Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna be more specific Jimmy: Do I need to? Janis: yep Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Are you gonna drag that twat into it or what? Janis: not that I owe you shit Janis: but I'll pick someone you don't work with Jimmy: or think of a better idea Janis: it's a great idea Jimmy: How? Janis: you get the sympathy vote and to be mr good guy and I get to show I don't give a shit so they can miss me with the told you it wouldn't lasts and whatever else they're dying to Janis: win win Jimmy: if I wanted a popularity 🏆 instead of being left alone Janis: your personality will put 'em off give it 5 minutes Jimmy: piss off Janis: you know I'm right Jimmy: I know you're fuming Janis: about what, exactly Janis: being stupid enough to ever agree to this, yeah, I am actually Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: whatever Jimmy: [i'm using the weather and saying it's just started to rain heavy so he has to come inside or else he never will] Janis: [chatting to some rando and trying not to look his way even though of course you notice] Jimmy: [when you go up to her to give her a drink cos you're jealous af and you want said random to fuck off] Janis: [when you look at it like you've never seen a drink before in your life 'you trying to poison me now?' whoever this lad is should run 'cos no need to be involved in this drama] Jimmy: [lowkey force her to take it so rude 'drown your sorrows, girl'] Janis: [that's deffo getting thrown at you like I'm sorry boy] Jimmy: ['when you have to go find a towel now if you didn't before RIP to the bathroom with you] Janis: [when you have to either go outside or find somewhere in this gaff to be alone 'cos people love drama and would be being so annoying] Jimmy: [100% gonna look for her when he's done though cos king of the mixed message if she's outside I'm gonna lol cos you're getting wet again boy] Janis: [probably 'cos realistically how big is this house that there's a room no other fucker is in lmao] Jimmy: [unlucky dickhead] Janis: [wherever the nearest available shelter is, whether that's a tree or a bus stop, whatever] Jimmy: [either way #mood and he's finding her there, popping up v unwanted] Janis: [when you see him coming and it's like literally wtf boy 'I swear down, Jimmy, do not'] Jimmy: [when you just kiss her as hard as you fucking can because this is over and wtf do you have to lose and you're thinking you'll just walk away after okay boy well done truly you messy slag] Janis: [when you go for it even though you reckon you definitely shouldn't now because you feel something so got to chase it 'til you can't no more] Jimmy: [the most ridiculously intense make out of all time casually happening until he breaks it off cos when there's too much drama at school you gotta walk awaaaaaaaaaaay] Janis: Pussy Jimmy: 💀💀💔💀💔 Jimmy: brutal Janis: fuck you Jimmy: you wanted an answer so bad, there it is Jimmy: take it Janis: no, as per with you it was just more questions Jimmy: might've been able to find some answers in the bottom of that bottle you chucked at me Jimmy: so hasty you Janis: should've kept it then Janis: you need it more than me Jimmy: I've got others Janis: I'm so pleased for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Stop talking to me Jimmy: stop talking to me Janis: gladly Jimmy: 👍

1 note · View note