thingstotellthem

[thingstotellthem]

oh my god stop treating me like shit just because youve never actually dealt with your problems

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #mine

[thingstotellthem]

you took an innocent child and turned them into a living emotional processor so you wouldnt have to do any of it yourselves

#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #emotional abuse #parental abuse #mine

[thingstotellthem]

i refuse to do all of your introspection for you. if you people cant figure it out on your own like fully grown adults, then you must not be as grown up as you think you are

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #mine

[thingstotellthem]

i am begging you to be the adult here for once

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #parental abuse #mine

[thingstotellthem]

what is it going to take for you to start looking inward and asking yourself some difficult questions? why do i have to work it all out for you?

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #mine

[thingstotellthem]

if nothing youve tried so far has worked, perhaps consider changing the way you think and act

#actuallyabused #mine

[thingstotellthem]

i cannot and i will not have the exact right answers for you at all times, and its frankly insane to expect that from a child when youre the adult here

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #parental abuse #mine

[thingstotellthem]

all i did was love u

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#actuallyabused #anon #♥

[thingstotellthem]

I’m sorry that maintaining the bare minimum of parental concern is so hard for you. I’m sorry you were abused and it made you do these things to me, but the fact of the matter is that you did perform those actions and those actions have consequences. You will no longer get to hold things over my head. You will no longer silence me. You should have been less worried about looking like a bad mom in front of your peers and more worried about being a good mom to your kid.

.

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #parental abuse #parent mention #♥

[thingstotellthem]

I describe your friendship as a state of duress, and when you left I lost my mind because I didn't even know I was being tortured

.

#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #anon #♥

[thingstotellthem]

I know you love me. I know you went through stuff.

But I was a KID. Just because I didn't want hug you didn't mean I deserved to stand with my arms out. Just because I asked my brother to leave me alone didn't mean I deserved to have my door taken and privacy violated. I tried so HARD to be the perfect son. You didn't care. I was never enough. Do you remember holding a pan and watching me flinch away because you were swinging at me? Do you remember telling me you would put me in the unfinished basement full of toxins if I misbehaved? No. Want to know why? For me it was a formative experience of my life, for you it was fucking tuesday. And I don't care how 'annoying' I was, I have come to realise that this shit wasn't normal. No child should grow up thinking that the fact that their dad threatened them, gaslit them, invaded their privacy, and attacked them was fucking normal. It wasn't.

I remember looking up to you. Thinking that I had the best dad.

I visited my friends houses and was confused as to why they weren't screaming every minute of the day.

And I now know that you weren't the person I thought you were. You just wanted power.

At least you didn't treat my brother that way, that's all I have to thank you for.

.

#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #emotional abuse #physical abuse #parental abuse #parent mention #anon #♥♥

[thingstotellthem]

maybe I'm coughing because I'm sick or I over ate but I've been having these symptoms for years and you need a better go to then simply demand I stop, like distract me, that works, threaten me with therapy, that too

.

#actuallyabused #emotional abuse #medical abuse #anon #♥

[thingstotellthem]

it still hurts. everything you did to me i still do to myself. i hate that i've let you win.

.

#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #anon #♥♥

[thingstotellthem]

You negativity bias isn't even true, you wonder why I'm mentally unwell and then only tell me negative things about myself and when I brought up things I wanted to do, you knocked me back for years and wonder why I was unstable, and then wonder why I got worst and it only got better once I was allowed, like, one thing for myself and could live with myself having one thing I loved in my week to week life

.

#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #emotional abuse #anon #♥

[thingstotellthem]

how funny is it that i don't remember your face, but i remember the exact way it felt when you touched me?

how fucking funny

i don't want to remember anything about you or what you did.

i hope you go to hell.

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#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #sexual abuse #♥♥

[thingstotellthem]

I'm not saying even give me my way all the time, I'm say your negativity bias was bad for my mental health and my normal growth as a teenager, I didn't need to become everything I imagined, but I imagine I would have felt less mentally unwell and toxic friendships galore, if I had both a almost normal social life and some validity to back up my claims of writing and music, just enough to not hate myself, just enough to be able to live with myself

.

#actuallyabused #parental abuse #anon #♥

[thingstotellthem]

you always told me that i could tell you whatever i wanted, the good things and the bad. i only wish that were true, because whenever i told you something you didn't like or didn't agree with you'd blow up and antagonize me for it when you literally told me to put my trust in you. you are a volatile person masquerading as a safe space. i was forces to bottle up my emotions for my own safety. i was endangered so many times because i was more afraid of your judgement than i was of actual life-threatening consequences. at the same time, i was forced to be your personal therapist, your spouse, your parent and your friend. i had to listen to whatever you felt like telling me, often times things that should never have been put on a child's shoulders. but if i protested, i was selfish. and you'll never understand how unfair that is. you say that i had a childhood, but you're wrong. i had to grow up so quickly i never had the chance to be a kid.

so nowadays, when you see me crying and ask me what's wrong, i know better than to tell you the truth. i know that whatever i say will be used against me, as it has in what fragments of memory i have. i know that i can't tell you my dysphoria is literally killing me inside, because you'll say that no one will ever see me as more than a woman; the way you did when i told you my preferred pronouns. i didn't even obligate you to use them, but you said that i was rejecting the principles and core values you'd taught me from the beginning by "choosing" to be transgender.

so just know that your worst nightmare will be coming true very soon. you'll end up losing me because you cared more about how you could weaponize whatever i told you in confidence than about my wellbeing or happiness. it was never about what was best for me. it was always about control. you already lost your eldest, and now you'll lose me too. and you will never know why, because you are too self-centered to open your eyes and see that the way you behave hurts people. you can't understand that you're the problem. i feel bad for you. but for once, this is a problem of yours that i refuse to fix.

– someone who was never your daughter, and who you don't deserve to have as a son.

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#actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #emotional abuse #parental abuse #transphobia #anon #♥♥