trickybonmot

[trickybonmot]

Excuse me?????

the fact that movie adaptations of The Three Musketeers aren’t consistently giving me crazy cat man Richelieu is honestly so outrageous I want to see - NO I DEMAND to see the Red Eminence draw up important documents and plot to destroy France’s enemies while Soumise naps in his lap and Ludoviska tries to knock ink bottles off the table!!! Wake up how are movie studios not taking this excellent opportunity to give us Richelieu lounging on an armchair in the dark and petting cats like a moustache twirling Bond villain hello??????????????????????????????????????

#the three musketeers #filmmakers take note #cats

[trickybonmot]

A very very minor thing I have been curious about for a while, and I'm finally asking: why do you calculate queue posting times the way you do? For example, if I set my queue to post 3x a day, naively I would expect it to post every 8 hours. But in reality it posts every 6 hours with a 12 hour gap between days. Why complicate the math like that?

Answer: Hello @circumference-pie!

Buckle up y’all, it’s story time again!

First: nobody who works at Tumblr right now was a part of the work of planning the default queue implementation, which was more than ten years ago. So the full story behind “Why does it work that way?” has unfortunately been lost to the sands of time. All we can do is tell you how it works today and surmise some reasons why. The queue is actually a very clever system and part of how it works explains some of why it works the way it does. Also, there have been attempts to do what you ask—we still have “Queue 2.0” available in your Tumblr Labs settings, which tries to get closer to how you expect things to work.

Anyway! How the queue works today is not actually a queue in the traditional sense. There is no single list of posts that are in “your queue”. Instead, when you “Add to queue” after creating a post, we’re actually scheduling it to post at a future time, as if you had used the “Schedule post” option instead. We’re just calculating that time on your behalf when you use “Add to queue”, based on your settings, and how many other scheduled posts you have already. We use a secondary “index” model, called “ScheduledPost”, to keep track of posts you have scheduled on your blog. We do mark the ones that are a part of “your queue”, but the data model doesn’t keep one list of your “queue” per se.

You can see this in action on your blog, hiding in plain sight. If you add a bunch of posts to your queue, and then schedule a post for a specific future date, you’ll see both in your blog’s “queue” list, side by side. Because technically to us, they’re the same thing: queued posts are really just another kind of scheduled post, relying on the same always-running service to publish scheduled posts across all of Tumblr. Here’s a fun fact: we typically have about ~14.5 million future posts to publish from this list at any given time and are publishing hundreds of these scheduled posts every second.

So when you’re adding a new post to your queue, what we’re doing behind the scenes is starting at the beginning of your “day”, and creating time slots based on your queue settings. If a time slot is already filled, we move on to the next one. That’s why the default queue scheduler works how you describe—we’re trying to fill those “slots” based on the start of the day, rather than trying to divide the calendar day evenly. This just makes it much simpler for us to understand, scale, and predict when our “peaks” will be. At peak times, the publish-scheduled-posts service is publishing tens of thousands of posts in a manner of seconds. We did rewrite that post-publishing part of this architecture a few years ago to improve its efficiency and solve a lot of “lost post” bugs, but we didn’t change how “Add to queue” works.

However, the Queue 2.0 project available in Labs was an attempt to change the queue system to work as you expect—instead of starting at [beginning of day] and creating enough slots to fit [number of slots] every [number of hours], it tries to divide the calendar day into [number of slots] and fit the result back to the original algorithm’s mapping of the day. We never productionized this alternative approach, because it has a few bugs that some blogs hit in extreme cases, and we’ve never had time to fully fix them. It also can cause a bit of weirdness when time zones diverge, like with daylight savings time. Also, a lot of people prefer the default algorithm, and we haven’t thought of a nice way to transition everyone from one to the other. So for now, both options exist, and you can choose which algorithm for queue-slot-generating you want to use. We hope that makes sense! 

While complicated, it is a great example of a system built by engineers to make sense and be scalable and predictable. But sometimes these kinds of systems, while clever, aren’t very intuitive to understand without digging into how they work.

Thanks for your question, and keep ’em coming. 

#Tumblr #kinda neat to know

[trickybonmot]

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

#ahhhh i never stop laughing at this #furries vs doctors #lulz #I'm sorry for the inaccuracies doctor yiff

[trickybonmot]

Hello!!!! No one gonna talk about this???

#mon ami robot #robot dreams #internet says May 31st for N. America #animation

[trickybonmot]

Hadi Rahnaward: 'Fragile Balance' (2023) rug sculpture created with matches

#art #well this gives me the chills

[trickybonmot]

Wangxian meet-"cute" idea

TW: mentions of mugging and a stabbing/blood

WWX is the proud owner a very sketchy sex toy/head shop (based on a local place that I've never been to but has the most ridiculous name and I would post it if it didn't reveal where I live lol. It has the word "thong" in the store name and that's not even the most questionable word, so... I'm sure it's super classy haha) and LWJ has recently moved to the "big city" from the little mountain town where he grew up.

So, LWJ goes into WWX's shop one night because it's the only place open and he needs to make change in order to use a payphone:

WWX: "WTF? Who uses a payphone? What century is this? Do those even still exist? What's wrong with you? Why don't you have a cellphone?"

LWJ: "It was stolen."

WWX: "Well don't use a fucking payphone. Use mine. Need to call someone to pick you up?"

LWJ: "Mn." *dials phone* "Hello, 911. I was mugged and have been stabbed as a result."

WWX: "YOU'VE BEEN STABBED AND ALL YOU ASKED FOR WAS A FUCKING QUARTER?!!!"

Anyway, WWX probably closes up early and goes along in the ambulance with this weirdly calm stabbing victim because LWJ mentioned being new to town during their way-too-chill wait for the paramedics and WWX can't just let him go through this completely alone.

Maybe WWX visits him in the hospital the next day and then the day after that LXC has flown in from another city so WWX is like "Oh good, you've got family to keep you company now. Get well soon!" and books it out of there because a nurse mistook him for LWJ's bf while he was asleep and WWX didn't immediately (or attempt at all to) correct her and he doesn't want to be around for that awkward as fuck moment, especially in front of the guy's brother lol

So WWX goes back to life as usual, except with new mats at the door and register of his little dildo & bong shop because it turns out that people bleed when they get stabbed and that blood tends to drip on the floor and bloodstained rugs aren't great for business. Go figure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And of course a week later LWJ walks in the door and immediately notices the rugs have been changed because both times he has been careful not to look directly at anything for sale in this very scandalous store that is run by a very wonderful (and handsome) man.

LWJ: "I will compensate you for the cost of replacing the rugs."

WWX: "Don't you dare. Also, why are you here? Shouldn't you be in the hospital where it's safe and not, you know, wandering around the neighbourhood that put you there to begin with??"

LWJ: "The hospital discharged me the same day you left. I've been resting comfortably at home."

WWX: "Oh cool. Good. Rest is important for healing and all that. But... why are you here?"

LWJ: "I didn't properly thank you for helping me, or for visiting me in the days that followed."

WWX: "No thanks necessary. I couldn't let you bleed to death for the sake of a quarter."

LWJ: "The nearest payphone is a ten minute walk in the opposite direction of the way I was headed. I am very grateful that you offered me your phone."

WWX: "No problemo. Did they catch the guy who mugged you yet?"

LWJ: "Not yet, but I have replaced my phone. It is an upgraded model from my previous one."

WWX: "Cool, cool... How do you like it?"

LWJ: "I am enjoying it so far, but I seem to be missing something that should be in my phone."

WWX: "Oh? I'm pretty good with phones and stuff. Maybe I can help. What're looking for?"

LWJ: *hands his phone over* "I cannot seem to find my boyfriend's phone number."

WWX briefly thinks "fuck, so he actually is gay but he's taken so I still have no shot" and then notices that LWJ has the slightest little grin on his lips and WWX is hit with the horrifying realization that he heard the boyfriend thing from that nurse.

WWX: "I can explain."

LWJ: "Mn."

WWX: "The nurse assumed I was your boyfriend because that makes way more sense than being literally a totally random dude, and I figured they'd kick me out if I was like 'lol no I'm a complete stranger' and while I was trying to think of a way to explain that wasn't that, she had finished changing your IV and was long gone."

LWJ: "Understandable."

WWX: "Then your brother showed up and he seems very nice but I didn't want to stick around long enough that I'd have to be like 'hey, I'm the guy from the cock & pot shop who is hanging around your hot little brother's hospital room pretending to be his boyfriend apparently because that's not creepy as fuck. nice to meet you' so I kinda bailed while you were napping. Sorry."

LWJ: "No apologies necessary." *looks at his phone as WWX hands it back to him* "Hm..."

WWX: "What's wrong?"

LWJ: "I was assured on the internet that this would work, yet I did not get your phone number. No matter, I won't bother you again. Thank you again for your kindness."

LWJ turns to leave and WWX reaches over the counter and grabs his hand. They just stand there for 20 seconds staring at each other while LWJ tries to figure out why WWX isn't saying anything and WWX tries to figure out if he really heard what LWJ just said.

WWX: "You want my number?"

LWJ: "Mn. I was hoping to invite you out for dinner."

WWX: "Like a date?"

LWJ: "Only if you're comfortable with that. Or we could have dinner as friends, if you prefer."

WWX: "DATE. Uh, date. Please. Date."

LWJ gives him a small smile as he hands his phone back over for WWX to add his contact info, and WWX nearly dies because he's so damn handsome and he wants to take him out on a date. WWX shouldn't be grateful to a violent criminal, but how else would they have met? He has no restraint and the words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself

WWX: "Wow. Lucky you got stabbed by that guy, huh?"

LWJ: "Mn."

WWX: "Fuck. I take that back. I mean, I do feel pretty lucky our paths crossed, but, uh, you probably feel less lucky for the whole... getting stabbed thing."

LWJ: "I feel fortunate as well. Although..."

WWX: "What?"

LWJ: "The internet also misled me about how easy it would be to get a date in the city. I hope I don't have to risk another potentially-fatal injury for a second date."

WWX: *takes a second to realize LWJ is joking again because he's so dry in his delivery* "No, definitely not. No more injuries please. I have some bubble wrap that you can roll yourself up in between now and then while you-- Wait. Did you say second date? Maybe you should hold off on that and see how you feel. People usually get tired of me after the first date."

LWJ: "I am not tired of you yet. I look forward to our second date."

WWX: "Please tell me you're not somehow counting getting stabbed as our first date. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my dates to be like, not slipping in and out of consciousness due to blood loss or whatever."

LWJ: "At the hospital. You ate my jell-o and made a comment about being a cheap date."

WWX: "You remember that? I thought you were too hopped up on morphine or whatnot."

LWJ: "I remember."

WWX: "I-- You know what? Fuck it. Yes. Let's count it. That takes the pressure off. Bring on date #2!"

LWJ: "I promise the food will be better this time."

It's almost closing time so WWX tells LWJ to have a look around while he finishes up, then grins as LWJ's ears get increasingly red as the minutes go by. It's very cute. WWX locks up and then starts tagging along giving recommendations. LWJ seems surprisingly receptive and WWX is tempted to drag him off to the stock room right then and there but he doesn't know how long it takes for wounds to heal and a quickie isn't worth ripping stitches or something like that so instead he says that he's hungry and they head out on their second date.

---

A dozen years later, Sizhui is having a slumber party with a bunch of friends and Jingyi asks LWJ "did you really get stabbed once?" and WWX launches into the whole story (minus the part where LWJ browsed through sex toys because the kids are only 10 or so here) complete with the gory/bloody stuff given in full detail because WWX is a "cool dad" like that

JL: "I don't think this story is appropriate for children..."

OYZZ: "I think it's romantic!"

WWX: "You're right. It's romantic as fuck."

LWJ: "Wei Ying, language."

WWX: "Oh shit. Right. My bad."

LJY: "Do you have a nasty scar? Can I see?"

LWJ: "Eat your food."

LSZ: "I think it's romantic too."

OYZZ: "I hope I get stabbed someday..."

LJY: "When I get stabbed, I'm gonna make sure there's someone cute nearby to take care of me too."

WWX: "Uh... kids--"

JL: "You idiots. You shouldn't want to get stabbed."

LJY: "I know, but I think I'll probably get stabbed someday, so why not both?"

LWJ: "I do not recommend this method."

WWX: "Your parents will never let you kids come over again."

Sizhui is completely unphased by any of this lol

#see we're back to fandom business as usual on my blog now #wangxian

[trickybonmot]

you make it rain too bleak, too stark should night not fall you make things dark you called me mad (and i am mad) as a hatter some fall in love i shatter

#taking ship nominations for this #xuexiao #perhaps #the magnetic fields #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

Scars on your body show that you have lived; scars on your heart show that you have loved.

Nina Dul

#now that's living

[trickybonmot]

Thank god for the Magnetic Fields

#the magnetic fields #art #asleep and dreaming #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

my place: stephin merritt (the magnetic fields)

#stephin merritt #the magnetic fields #please appreciate him yes #tricky queues mf

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I will keep beating the drum on this, but where the FUCK are my queer breakup fanvids set to Magnetic Fields songs.

#i feel the same OP #the magnetic fields #fandom is sleeping on this band #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

#the magnetic fields #this one was a slow burn for me but I adore it #if you don't mind why don't you mind #i heard him say in an interview that it was a stevie nicks homage somehow #and the interviewer thought he was being ironic #but uhhhh i really dont think he was being ironic #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

who will pay the rent?

#the magnetic fields #tricky queues mf #art #this song is a sleeper hit #so good

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a pity she does not exist, a shame he's not a fag the only girl I've ever loved was andrew in drag

#the magnetic fields #andrew in drag #i would sign away my trust fund I would even sell the jag #this song is about a bad person having an epiphany #juty's out on whether it fixes him #it's so catchy too #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

when my boy walks down the street - the magnetic fields // rock n roll guy - the magnetic fields // andrew in drag - the magnetic fields

#the magnetic fields #the gender of it all #one time I was at a MF show and someone in the audience yelled #“thank you for writing gay love songs” #and Stephin Merritt just said very quietly #queer #and launched into the next tune #why do ppl thing they should yell at this band tho #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

#the magnetic fields #me every day tbh #art #tricky queues mf

[trickybonmot]

had a dream that I was at a bar with some friends, and Stephin Merritt was there, and I somehow ended up at the same table as him. and he asked me what my favorite band was, and I was like, "oh, well. The Magnetic Fields."

and he just took a sip of his drink and snorted sort of dismissively and said (the way somebody might mildly admonish a friend who's doing something stupid), "you've put an idol in the place of god..."

and then I woke up

#cheers I've also had dreams about him #and also weird fantasies where he's stranded by the side of the road or something and i help him #the magnetic fields #stephin merritt #tricky queues mf