weaponizedfemininityisshit

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Yeah, trans men are never misogynist. Sure.

One of the most unexpectedly and unintentionally amusing interactions I've seen on reddit was while browsing through the comments of a very predominantly female community. Not being specifically LGBT-focused, it was also naturally predominantly cishet just because that's how population statistics work. There was a conversation there about how men just don't understand how dangerous life can be as a woman, they've never had to play russian roulette with going out on dates and hoping they'll have a great night instead of ending up on a missing persons list.

Someone lamented how draining and exhausting it can be, starting a new relationship always means having to explain to another guy about why she needs to know where the security cameras are in places where she'll have to go alone at times when there aren't any other people there, and sometimes they just refuse to get it, because the only part of "sometimes men assault people" they hear is "men", and they'll immediately start defending themselves, that he personally would never assault anyone.

Then someone suggested to her, has she tried dating trans guys? Plenty of them are straight, have about the same range of personalities and interests as cis men do, and depending on her preferences essentially the only difference is that they get it. The original person hadn't considered that, and thanked for the suggestion.

And I know none of this is funny in any way, but it was so hilariously unexpectedly neutral. Neither fetishising nor invalidating, just a casual "have you tried this other type of dude", like someone had lamented how they want a dog but wouldn't want dog hair everywhere, and someone else suggesting dog breeds that don't shed.

#trans men #misogyny

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Wow. Just fucking wow.

Only in fandom "feminism" is not giving a damn about cishet men and their boners consider "radical feminism." In real-world feminism, it's SOP. But then again fandom also thinks that somehow, girls aren't permitted to be feminine or to love boys. I'm so glad there are actual feminist activists out there who aren't premising their activism on the poor poor menz.

There’s an incredible amount of discourse in the LGBTQ Extended Universe of people very angry that certain factions would perceive their sexual attraction to women as being inherently predatory. Various types of lesbians and bisexuals and trans people attracted to cis women, who all need to make it very clear that their attraction to women is wholesome and harmless.

Which would all be unnecessary if you just didn’t concede the radfems’ point in the first place: that hetero male attraction to women is automatically suspicious, probably inherently predatory.

If you concede that point, then various types of queer or trans people have to find a way to differentiate their own attraction to women as different than hetero male attraction. “How dare you imply that I as a butch lesbian/trans woman/male-attracted bisexual woman am in any way analogous to a hetero male in my sexual interest in women.” Since you’ve already conceded the point that hetero male attraction is bad, you’re stuck fighting a rear-guard action to prove that not all sexual attraction to women is bad, it’s only bad when it comes from cishet men–perhaps only when it comes from white cishet men because some of the more advanced woke people understand the historical atrocity of identifying black male sexual interest as dangerous.

And this discourse will never end. You’ll never effectively delineate who is ~wholesome~ when they want pussy and who is ~yikes~ when they want it. Not unless you’re going to be an out-and-out TERF who can easily cut through this issue by simply refusing to agree that trans women are women and trans men are men.

You could, of course, refuse to concede the point in the first place. You could say “no, it’s actually fine to be horny. It’s fine to want pussy. Men aren’t doing anything wrong by being sexually interested in women and pursuing sexual relationships with women.” 

But that’s difficult, because it undermines the entire basis of at least half of the feminist movement since its 19th-century inception, which is based in sexual repression and the identification of sexual intercourse as the primary site of women’s oppression. Which is why to this day the only concession the radfems can make to free love or sex-positivity is “well, some women are deeply damaged and traumatized, and for some unfathomable reason they want to have sex with men, and like with drug use or the sex industry, it causes harmful side-effects if we try to use force to stop women from self-harming in this way (by having sex with men), so we’ll bitterly tolerate women being horny, but male horniness is still absolutely unacceptable.” Hence “sex-critical” feminism, the reincarnation of sex-negative feminism. They happen to regret wholeheartedly allying with the Christian Right in the 1980s; but they still don’t think they made any moral or theoretical errors there, only tactical errors. 

#fauxminism #internalized misogyny #watm #what about teh menz

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Oh no. How dare people sexualize a butch woman. Who's fictional anyway. Also, I love the implication that butchness is inherently unhealthy (because I guess femininity is the "natural state" for all women, amirite?).

while we're doing this actually! i think some of you think you have a better grasp on gideon's relationship to gender than you actually do. in that you only manage to get your head around the concept of her as a butch when you're sexualising her.

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

I just love getting lectured on misogyny by someone with the B-slur right in their fucking handle.

#b-slur #misogyny #femmy-ninny-ty

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Trans AFAB characters who aren’t feminine are “caricatures.” Also they’re terribly unrepresented in a world where AFAB people in general are policed and rejected for not being feminine.

Modern gender discourse is deeply regressive on so many levels.

#femmepression #lol femmephobia #transphobia

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

The femme identity is always treated with suspicion and disdain precisely because it invests itself into the qualities most commonly associated with weakness and powerlessness. Even across queer communities, we, too, are often convinced that relying on masculinity is the only way to be commanding and threatening in the face of the powers we seek to challenge. To Hollibaugh, the femme identity is always a radical one, no matter who dons it, because it works to command and threaten without reifying male status or masculinist hierarchies. It challenges power on the terms which power most fears, and refuses to forfeit any of its own desires, tendencies or passions in the process.

Amber Hollibaugh, My Dangerous Desires: A Queer Girl Dreaming Her Way Home. Found and well-substantiated on We Are All Subversives. (via wonderwomanproject)

Yeah, because butch and androgynous women are never treated like shit, especially by patriarchally conforming AFAB people. Yawn. Once again, there is absolutely nothing radical about your high heels, makeup, or nail polish.

#femmepression #lol femmephobia

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Person 1: **makes gross generalization of society**

Person 2: "Actually, no, [points out the reality of the situation]."

Person 1: "OMG I WAS ONLY TALKING ABOUT MYSELF, WHY DO PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE WHERE I POST PUBLICLY HAVE TO INVADE MY POSTS!?!?!?!?"

On another note, I feel like I've been monkey paw'ed. More criticism of femininity as a feminist value is great, but unfortunately what we're getting instead is "misogyny is overstated as an oppression on its own axis," "misandry is real!!!" and MRA dogwhistles like "toxic femininity." Kinda unsurprising when so many of these types are adjacent to the "rationalist" community, and/or they're either cis or trans men who don't want to examine their sexism. 

#misogyny #mras #sexism

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Men never raised their daughters to be their apprentices; they hired their son-in-laws. "One of the guys" women are frequently feminine presenting with masc-coded hobbies and tastes, because otherwise they discomfit men. And the tomboy narrative posits tomboyhood as a "stage" that must be passed so that the girl can "become a woman." I agree that many women, including so-called feminists, like to police GNC women, but your post conflates several different phenomena. And GNC women were always policed in one way or another — even in the 1970s, which was a high water mark for breaking gender rules.

We used to have a narrative about girls who were the only child of a working man and learned his skillsets, and became dad’s apprentice. Of girls who were raised in a family full of brothers and weren’t intimidated by even relatively rough or boisterous men. And that same girl might be “one of the guys” in a friend group. We used to have a narrative for tomboy.

What happened to this narrative? Why was it demonized and how? Later on, I started to hear “cool girl” stuff and “you think you’re not like other girls” with the implication being “get back into the girls’ line” and that any one woman actually just being where she felt comfortable or being non-conforming, actually represented a threat to women as a group. Isn’t the idea that one woman’s presentation and way of life is necessarily damaging to all other women, kind of… parochial? I’m not even sure how that’s feminist or when that came to be feminist?

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

@rabbid-badger Ah, yes, the condescending “You must be very young” reply. No, actually, I’m old enough to have stopped buying into the “all feminisms are good feminisms” crap. Feminism is not whatever makes you feel pretty or tingly or empowered. Feminism breaks ground for other women. If you promote gender-essentialist hooey and you literally think that a Cinderella-type ending is more feminist than a woman wielding a sword and kicking ass, you’re a fauxminist who mistakes your id for praxis.

And, again, the vast majority of canons out there feature women being soft and pretty and nurturing for their maayyyyyyeennnnn. Go consume those and let me have my fucking power fantasy for once.

Oh, and Rey is a big damn lesbian who fists Zorii on the regular. Just sayin’.

#fauxminism

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

LOL of course you’re ace. It’s nearly synonymous with “misogynist” and “homophobia.”

Anyway you’re a fucking loon with bass-ackwards assumptions who’s only too happy to insist all your friends report someone who calls you out on your shit and who still uses the ableist term “fucktard.” I feel really terrible for your clients.

#asexies #millennium-eagle #misogyny #homophobia #ableism

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

"Honestly a scene of Rey and Ben in bed would have been a thousand times more empowering than her crossing the lightsabers and killing Palps. Give strong women love, relationships and families DAMMIT"

Proghet “feminism” is the most intellectually bankrupt version imaginable, right up there with TERFs and “Lean In” corporate “feminism.” Rancid gender essentialism and a huge wallop of homophobia pretending to be woke. And it’s fucking sad that an actual therapist buys into it, although therapists come in all flavors of fucked up so why not, I guess. I feel bad for any of your gender-nonconforming female clients, @millennium-eagle, because I doubt you can get your head out of your ass far enough to empathize with them.

You want an insipid, saccharine Hettily Ever After with a soft nurturing uwu female lead, you’ve got literally 99.9% of canons out there to cater to you. Meanwhile, your genocidal fave is dead, Rey is going to have all the ~*~*~*~male-coded~*~*~*~ (lol) adventures killing bad guys with her light saber, to the great joy of those of us who know what feminism actually is. I hope you and every other Reylo proghet is still pissing and moaning about it when you’re 90 years old and in a nursing home. :)

#proghets #Star Wars #Reylo #millennium-eagle #fauxminism #hahahahaha

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Tl;dr: An Aryan-blonde doll with completely unrealistic body proportions, feet that will only go into high-heeled shoes, and an intense fixation on being ~fashionable~ is actually feminist, sweaty :)

Dumbfuck solipsistic girly-girls are bubonic plague.

Someone: Barbie is a bad role model who forces inaccurate beauty expectations—

Me: Barbie was created in a time where sexism was very much prominent and fought to break gender norms by giving girls an independent and powerful female role model showing young girls that they could be who they wanted to be and got so much sexist backlash simply because the doll was meant to be a pretty girl who just so happened to be a part of so many prominently male-dominated fields of work, in this essay I will

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

I mean, it's not like I have high expectations for het anyway, but this is possibly the most saccharine, insipid crap ever. What is even the point of dating a monster if you can't sic them on the people who did you wrong? Not to mention it's just another take on "women can fix men," as if we signed up to be their mothers as well as their fucktoys.

Then again, OP is a proghet who thinks the problem with modern media is that we have a dearth of patriarchally compliant girls and women instead of a fucking glut of them. And this garbage is considered "progressive" on Tumblr and Twitter.

#hazel monforton #proghets

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

#femininity sucks #idiots

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

So @jenlynnbarnes claimed that on Twitter that Sarah Dessen’s victim saw herself as “not like the other girls.” After presumably getting dog-walked she deleted the tweet without apologizing.

Yet more proof that the phrase "not like the other girls" is basically the new way for gender-conforming girls and women to police those of us who don't feel obliged to spackle our faces, coo at babies, pretend we like shoe shopping, or read the insipid, preachy pap that constitutes the bulk of modern YA. And I’m so completely unsurprised that an “aca-fen” peddles that nonsense.

#sarah dessen #jennifer lynn barnes #misogyny #ya #not like the other girls #bullies

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

Yeah, no. Lots of us hated being shoved into dresses so our mothers and their friends could croon over what "little dolls" we were. And heaven help us if we got them dirty, meaning we couldn't go play like the boys could.

If your "queermo" friends don't give their girls a choice between glitter and Big Wheels, they suck. Then again a lot of so-called "queer" and "feminist" rhetoric these days is just gender essentialism repackaged with a pink, glittery façade.

my favorite thing about watching my queermo friends raise toddlers is realizing that if kids are offered a gender-neutral existence, “glitter, unicorns, and princess dresses” is no longer an apparatus of enforced femininity, but in fact a universal developmental phase

#kweeeeeer #gender essentialism #femmy-ninny-ty

[weaponizedfemininityisshit]

This tweet was really refreshing to see.

The word "lady" is steeped in not only classism, but all sorts of very rigid concepts of femininity. It's also patronizing as fuck. It disgusts me to see younger feminists glom onto it, and I'm glad there are at least a few sharp women out there who see through it.

#femmy-ninny-ty #classism