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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

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Funk

(I’m excluding all scenes with Sue and Will together because CRINGE!!! Also the sheet n things will be excluded.)

Artie, Kurt, Mercedes and Tina were walking down the hallway.

Mercedes: Is it just me, or does it feel like we have a real shot at Regionals next month?

Artie: The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms have all been buzzing about how Vocal Adrenaline has lost a step.

Kurt: I agree-- the judges know all of their tricks and now that we have Jesse, they’ve lost their best performer.

Rachel rush up to the four. Rachel: You guys have to come to the auditorium-- it’s an emergency!

They entered the auditorium where the rest of the New Directions were but what’s more shocking was that Vocal Adrenaline was in their stage and...

Rachel: Jesse? What are you doing up there with them?

Jesse: I’ve transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas.

Finn: Why are you here in our auditorium?

Jesse: The blogs and the chat rooms say that we’re finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment.

Bum, bum, bum (Jesse: Ooohh - Let’s go!)

Jesse: Steve walks wearily down the street with his brim pulled way down low Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet. Machine guns ready to go, are you ready (Vocal Adrenaline Boys: Hey!). Are you ready for this, are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat.

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls: Yeah!

Vocal Adrenaline Boys (Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust) Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust; And another one gone). And another one gone (Another one bites the dust, yeah) Hey, I’m gonna get you to

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline (Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Another one bites the dust (Oooh, ohh!) (Vocal Adrenaline Boys: Yeeaah!)

Jesse (with Vocal Adrenaline): How do you think I’m gonna get along (without you when you’re gone?). You took me for everything that I had and (kicked me out on my own)

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls: Are you happy? Are you satisfied, how long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline: Look Out!

Vocal Adrenaline Boys (Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust)

Giselle: Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. It’s quaint.

–—–––

The kids walked down the hallway, quiet surprised and crushed.

Artie: It’s a Carmel High tradition. They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they’ve got, and we spiral into a deep black funk.

Finn: Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them.

Puck: Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden.

Kurt: Come on, keep your heads up, guys. It’s going to take more than that to get us into a funk.

The club went to the choir room but was in shock as their choir room got TP.

They all started to clean up the mess, Vocal Adrenaline left.

Tina: I feel so violated. It’s like someone broke into our home.

Will: Look, it was just a lame little prank. And the fact that they’re trying to get to us means maybe we got them spooked.

Mercedes: Uh-uh, Mr. Shue. They aren’t afraid of anything. That number they did was fantastic. You know, which doesn’t make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?

Sue (enter): I gave 'em all keys. Helped them do a sound check over the weekend. Hey, this way, fellas. Let’s punch out this wall here. They’ll pen up the space a little bit.

Will: Sue, what are you doing?

Sue: I can’t talk to you now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, and I expect to return with a comically large first place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what it has to look like? Elvis' gold record room at Graceland. Except I’ll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying.

Will: Sue, get out of my room.

Sue: Glee Clubbers, for you those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Acutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that? Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, who told me that you’re 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. You are going to lose, and your dreams will be crushed.

Will: Sue, can I see your trophy?

Sue: Sure, Will. Hope and dream.

Will (threw the trophy against the wall that made made everyone but Finn and Puck flinch or jump.): You dropped your trophy, Sue.

Sue: You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent. Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine.

–——––

Will (enters the choir room, Rachel was sitting at the piano.): All right, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets.Who has some?

Rachel: Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp.

Quinn: Thinking "trust me" was a sensible birth control option.

Will: We all have them. I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn’t working. Letting her put me in these deep funks and not fighting back.

Santana: Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?

Will: Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals, none of us are going to regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won’t look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition. Which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.

Quinn: So you want us to TP their choir room?

Will: Whatever the better, cooler version of that is. Like, uh, maybe-maybe we should steal their school statue.

Kurt: Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.

Will: Okay, how about this one. All right, we get like...

Puck (voiceover): Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain. These are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.

This leads to Puck and Finn lashing tires to the Range Rovers to all Vocal Adrenaline Kids. But leads them to Principal Figgins office.

Puck: Yeah, I did it. And I’m proud. All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them.

Shelby: A few of my students TP'd your choir room. You slashed the tires on the Range Rovers of all 26 of my performers. Those were gifts for our win at Sectionals. That’s 200 times 26 times four equals I don’t have a calculator.

Will: I’m sorry, you bought all your kids Range Rovers?

Shelby: We have a very active booster club.

Will: Look, nobody got hurt. It was a harmless prank.

SUE: That’s what they said about a young man in Chicago in 1871, who thought he’d play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.

Figgins: Enough. These students have committed a felony. They are hereby expelled.

Shelby: Look, I don’t want anyone to get expelled. I’m not going to press charges as long as you pay for the damage.

Will: You can take it out of the glee club budget. We don’t have that kind of money.

Finn: We’ll get jobs. Give us a month. We’ll pay you back, Ms. Corcoran, I promise.

Shelby: Fine.

Figgins: Ms. Corcoran, you are as wise and magnanimous as you are beautiful.

Shelby levees but Will whispered. Will: Thank you.

Sue: Well, you just can’t win, can you, William? You never have, and you never will.

––—–—–

Will wrote the ‘Funk’ on the whiteboard in Glee.

Will: Funk. Use it in a sentence. Come on. Rachel.

Rachel (sadly): This cheese smells funky.

Puck: That’s because it’s "from-unda" cheese.

Rachel: Shut it, Puckerman!

Will: Okay, okay. I was thinking more along the lines of Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk.

Kurt: I’m so depressed, I’ve worn the same outfit twice this week.

Will: What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are going to get funked up. The only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They’re a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. Its passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn’t perform with any. So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into Funky town!

Mercedes: You guys can relax, I got this one covered.

Artie: Cool.

Quinn: Hold on a second. I-I want a chance to get funky, too.

Everyone laughed at Quinn especially Mercedes.

Mercedes: Good one, Quinn. It even sounds funny when you say it.

Quinn: You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both. Look at me. Look at my life. I’m furious!

Mercedes: Let’s be honest. When white people try to be funky, you end up with KC and the Sunshine Band. (She laughs)

Artie: I love "Boogie Shoes."

Quinn: Mercedes' racism aside, I will have something prepared tomorrow.

Will: All right, Quinn goes first. (Bell rings, Will looks at Rachel.) Rachel, can I see you

in my office?

In his office. Will: You seem to be taking this Jessie thing pretty hard.

Rachel (angrily): I want him to be eaten by a lion.

Will (sighs): Jessie, cared about you.

Rachel: No, he didn’t. Our entire relationship was just some diabolical plan. They knew if they broke my heart close enough to the competition, that I’d lose my will to live, and then New Directions would have no chance at winning Regionals. It’s textbook; You destroy the heart of the team's heart and you destroy the team.

Will (voiceover): Sandy told me how to beat Vocal Adrenaline, and now Rachel was inadvertently telling me how to beat my other nemesis. Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling nearly as depressed.

——––—

In the choir room, it was time for Quinn’s performance.

Will: Okay, Quinn, it’s your day to show us your funky side. So, take it away.

Quinn: For some of us just simply getting to class takes a little bit longer. When you’re pregnant, you’re responsible for two lives. And you’re walking down the hallway oppressed by the man.

Mercedes (mumbles): Oh, my goodness, she is not about to go there.

Quinn: Hearing people call you fat. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you have to stop and hold that precious life and say no.

Artie: This is offensive. Who are these girls?

Quinn: We’re the "Unwed Mothership Connection". And that’s what we’re here to sing about.

Quinn: This is a man's world, this is a man's world. But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl.

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection harmonizing: You see, Man made the cars to take us over the road. Man made the train to carry the heavy load, man made electric light to take us out the dark. Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark.

This is a man's, man's, man's world, but it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing. Without a woman or a girl (Unwed Mothership Connection: Without a woman or a girl)

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection: Man thinks about the little baby girls and the baby boys. And after man make everything, everything he can. Do you know that man makes money? (Unwed Mothership Connection: He makes money). To buy from other man (Unwed Mothership Connection: To buy from other man)

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection:

This is a man's world

Quinn (Unwed Mothership Connection): But it would be nothing, nothing, Not a one little thing (Nothing, nothing). Without a woman or a girl. He’s lost (Huh-uh) in the wilderness, (oh) He’s lost (Ooh) in betterness. (Huh-uh) He’s lost, lost somewhere now in loneliness.

–——––

Will entered the school but saw Santana sobbing. Will: Santana, are you all right? What?

She ignored him and sat down on the floor, still crying.

Will them approached Kurt. Will: Kurt, what is going on around here?

Kurt (closed his locker.): Coach Sylvester won’t get out of bed. We haven’t had practice in days. I’m fine because I have Glee, but these girls have sort of lost it. No Nationals means that four of the girls will lose their college scholarships. The rest are just depressed and confused.

Like some Cheerios had their hair all messed up. Brittany was walking past clinging onto Jacob Ben Israel who was weirded out. Brittany: Please, please, love me, please.

Kurt: It’s really hard to feel bad for Sue Sylvester, she doesn’t need another trophy but some of these girls, they really do.

––——–—

In the choir room, Puck and Finn were dressed up like gangsters.

Finn: Mr. Shue, Puck and I would like to show the class the true meaning of funk. With a little help from our special guest Mercedes.

She stood up and stand in between Finn and Puck. Artie, Kurt and Tina cheered for her.

Puck: Fasten your seat belts, people. It’s going to be a funky ride.

New Directions Guys: Uh-uh (Puck: Yeah; Can you feel it, baby?) Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it). Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it). Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it).

Puck: Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm, and the rhyme-. Imma get mine, so get yours I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores

Finn: On the house tip is how I'm swinging this, strictly hip hop, boy. I ain't singing this

Bringing this to the entire nation Black, white, red, brown, feel the vibration.

Finn and Puck: Come on; come on Feel it; feel it. Feel the vibration

Mercedes (New Directions Guys): It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam).

Puck: The vibration's good like Sunkist many wanna know who done this. Pucky Puck, and I’m here to move you Rhymes will groove you. And I’m here to prove to you (Santana, Rachel laughed). That we can party on the positive side and pump positive vibes. So come along for the ride making you feel the rhythm is my occupation. So feel the vibration.

Finn and Puck: Come on; come on Feel it; feel it. Feel the vibration

Puck: Finnie D, break it down...

Finn (New Directions Guys): Finnie D's on the back up (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). Drug free, so put the crack up (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) no need for speed (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) I’m anti d-r-u-g-g-i-e (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) (Rachel laughed). My body is healthy (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) and rhymes makes me wealthy (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). And the funky bunch helps me (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) to bring you a show with no intoxication (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) Come on; feel the vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) (Everyone clapped along with the beat.) Yeah can you feel it, baby? I can too.

Will: All right. Great job, guys, but that’s not funk. I mean, the group is called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but that is a rap song.

Puck: A kick-butt old school rap song.

Artie: Does it really matter, Mr. Shue? We’re so clinically depressed, we’re doing the wrong songs. We’re in a deeper funk than ever.

–——–—

Quinn was in a classroom, all alone then Mercedes entered sitting across her.

Quinn: Mercedes, I'm so sorry.

Mercedes: You may not be a minority, but you certainly get how it feels sometimes.

Quinn: For nine months. You’ve had to deal with this your whole life. People making assumptions, calling you names. I seriously can’t understand why don’t feel like yelling at people all the time.

Mervedes: What’s the point in getting angry?

Quinn: Because it’s infuriating. I hate all the looks at school. Don’t even get me started on Puck's mom.

Mercedes: You’re not angry. You’re hurt. You just need someplace safe where you can dig through all that rage. Get to the pain beneath it. So it’s decided. Saturday you move out of Puck's house and you move in with me. (Quinn looked at her, surprised.) I already talked to my mom about it. My brother went off to college and we have an extra room.

Quinn: Mercedes... she was so honored.

Mercedes: It’s cool. Us sisters got to stick together, right?

They fist bumped but Quinn slowly didn’t make it boom. But they both laughing softly.

—––—–—

Rachel walked down some stairs as her cell phone rings. She answered it. Rachel: Hello.

Jesse: Meet me out in the parking lot.

Rachel went outside to the parking lot where she saw Jesse. She ran up to him missing a smirk on his face, where Vocal Adrenaline throws eggs at her.

They all laugh at her.

Giselle: I hear you’re a vegan, Berry. The souls of those poor egg fetuses are all on your conscience now.

Vocal Adrenaline all laughs.

Giselle: Do it, Jesse. (Jesse had a eye in his hand.) Are you with us or not?

Rachel: Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.

Jesse: I loved you. He smashed the egg against Rachel’s forehead, letting the yoke drip down her face. Vocal Adrenaline got in their vehicles.

–——––—

Rachel had changed her outfit and told everyone what happened to her.

Rachel: Now nightmares of all of the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge.

Puck: Oh, this is bull! Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me.

Finn: Right on. It’s time for less talking and more punching.

Will (enters the room): Hey, what’s going on?

Finn: We’re on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.

Will: Guys, violence is never the answer.

Puck: It is when the question is "What’s the best way to mess up that Jessie kid's face?!"

Kurt: Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us. We’re the only ones who get to humiliate her.

The boys went to leave but Will snapped. Will: Stop! Get back here and sit down! (Kurt immediately did that.) Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn’t make your pain go away. You’re all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that.

Finn: We can’t just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelet.

Will (growls): We’re not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.

Rachel pulled out her phone.

Santana: You haven’t deleted his number yet?

Rachel hands her phone to Will.

Will: Jessie St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp.

––——–—

Vocal Adrenaline were in the WMHS auditorium where Rachel stood in front of them where there was a backdrop behind her.

Rachel: Thanks for coming. After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest, we decided the only way to truly funkify you is to show you the one thing we know you can’t do. So enjoy.

Kurt: Roof off, we’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker, tear the roof. We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker.

Finn and Mercedes with Tina and New Directions (with Kurt): You’ve got a real type of thing going down, getting down. There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round. (You’ve got a real type of thing going down, getting down There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round)

Finn, Mercedes, and Tina with New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk. We need the funk, we gotta have that funk we want the funk, give up the funk. We need the funk, we gotta have that funk Na-na-na-na-na. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow. Na-na-na-na-na. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow

Artie and Mercedes with New Directions: We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We need the funk, we gotta have that funk) (Mercedes: Gotta turn this mother out). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We need the funk, we gotta have that funk) (Mercedes: We're gonna turn this mother out hey!)

Finn and Mercedes with Tina and New Directions: Na-na-na-na-na, Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow (Mercedes: Doo doo doo doo na yeah). Na-na-na-na-na (Mercedes: Da-na-ta-ta-na ..Sing it now!) Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow (New Directions: You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down). You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down. There’s a whole lot of rhythm going down (Mercedes: Whole a lot of rhythm going down down get it!). You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round (Mercedes: A real type of thing).

Mercedes:

Yeeaahh!

Finn and Tina with New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk We need the funk, we gotta have that funk (Mercedes: Funky!) We want the funk, (Mercedes: Yeahhh!). Give up the funk, we need the funk, we gotta have that funk. We want the funk (Kurt: We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker) (Mercedes: Funky funky!) (Kurt: Tear the roof off the sucker). Give up the funk (Kurt: Tear the roof off) We need the funk (Kurt: We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker). (Mercedes: Get down man!). We gotta have that funk (Kurt: Tear the roof off the sucker). (Mercedes: Heey) We want the funk, give up the funk, we need the funk, we gotta have that funk.

Mercedes: Heeeeeyyy!

Puck: See you punks at Regionals.

Jesse: They did a funk number. We’ve never been able to pull off a funk number.

Giselle: Well, that’s because we’re soulless automatons.

Jesse: I’m so depressed.

#transcript #glee

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Theatricality (Non School Sets)

Will including Will Confronting Shelby and excluding the moist toilette part.

Hummel's House Basement - Burt, Carole, Finn, Kurt

Carole: Step. Couple more.

Finn: Is there a car down here from me?

Carole: Honey, we’re indoors.

Finn: Oh. Okay.

Carole: And open your eyes.

Kurt: Sparkling cider?

Carole: Yeah.

Finn: "Welcome home"? But who went somewhere?

Carole: Burt asked us to move in with them.

Finn: And this is how you’re telling me?

Kurt: The party is my idea. If you’re gonna say something, say it loud, right?

Burt: Yeah. It’s gonna take some getting used to, but trust me, you’re gonna love it,okay? Now you don’t have to drag your tail over here every time you want to watch something on the old 55-incher. We got a lot of food - some ethnic food. It’s some ethnicity, that’s not ours.

Kurt: Tuna crudité. (Burt:Tuna crudité.) It’s not ethnic.

Burt: Here you go.

Carole: Finn, this house is twice as big as ours. It has two bathrooms.

Burt: Two and a half.

Finn: I don’t want an extra bathroom or a tuna crude. I just want my house back.

Kurt: I think I know what this resistance is about. Our room. And I couldn't agree more. The palate in here is totally unflattering to your skin tone. Not everyone can pull off Dior gray. We need to redecorate.

Finn: Wait, we’re sharing a room? I’m not cool with that!

Carole: Baby, I know it’s weird, okay? But can’t be much of a surprise. And, in time, you’re gonna be as happy as I am.

Burt: Yeah, look, I’ll knock out a wall upstairs, I’ll put an addition on, okay? But-but until then, maybe this will grease the wheels a bit, huh? (He takes a 300 bill out and givex it to Finn but Kurt takex it before Finn can react) Hey. Look, that’s 300. Have at it. You redecorate this place.

Kurt: Don’t worry, roomie. Mr. Ikea Catalog and I will have this all figured out. I am going to put together a palate that expresses who you are and who I want you to be. Who you want to be.

Burt: Hey, what night's game night? You play Sorry?

Carole: You know sorry.

Kurt: He will now.

Burt: I will beat you.

—–—–

Vocal Adrenaline are in rehearsal while Quinn Mercedes and Rachel are spying them.

Shelby: And claw, claw, uh, clap, clap. And five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four...

Mercedes: Think they can see us?

Quinn (whispering): If they catch us, are we gonna have to go to jail?

Rachel (whispering): Stealing their ideas is not a crime.

Shelby: ...Six, seven, eight. And one, two...

Rachel (whispering): Your shoes are making noise.

Shelby: ...And five, six, seven, eight. And one, two, three, four, five, six and seven...

Rachel: They look amazing.

Shelby: ...Claw, claw, uh, clap, clap. And five, six- uh, uh... Okay, okay, okay, just... enough. You guys aren’t getting it. You’re letting the costumes do all the work. Theatricality isn’t about crazy outfits. It’s not enough to douse yourselves with gasoline. You have to light yourselves on fire to make it work.

Rachel: God, she’s good.

Shelby: But being theatrical doesn’t mean you have to be a nuclear explosion. It can be like, like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion,express what’s deep inside you. That’s what theatricality is truly about. Do I have to demonstrate? "Funny Girl", E flat.

Rachel: Exactly what I would have done: Barbra. I could do it in my sleep.

Funny, did you hear that? Funny yeah, the guy said: Honey you’re a funny girl. That’s me, I just keep them in stitches doubled in half

Rachel recognizes her birth mom's voice, she gets up and goes to the stage.

Mercedes: Where are you going ?

Quinn: Get back here.

When the laugh is over and the joke's on you. A girl ought to have a sense of humor, that’s one thing, you really need for sure. When you’re a funny girl, the fellow said a funny girl, funny How it ain’t so funny? Funny girl.

Shelby finishes the song and Rachel calls to her.

Rachel: Ms. Corcoran? I’m Rachel Berry, I’m your daughter.

Both of them are sitting in the seats in the auditorium.

Rachel: Did you ever regret it?

Shelby: Yes. Then no. Then so much.

Rachel: W-When did you realize it was the right time for me to find you?

Shelby (chuckles): I saw you sing at sectionals. You were extraordinary. You were me.

(chuckles)

Rachel: Was it hard for you to not become a star? To not have your dreams come true?

Shelby: It felt like a broken promise. Like the Fisher King's wound - never heals.

Rachel: Wow. Genetics really are amazing. You see the world with the same fierce theatricality as I do. Even the way we’re sitting right now is so dramatic, and yet we feel so comfortable with it.

Shelby: I’ve missed so much. How do you feel?

Rachel: Thirsty. When I was little and I used to get sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got so I couldn't tell if I was sad or just thirsty.

Shelby: I shouldn’t have done this. This was supposed to feel good. W-We were supposed to have some kind of slow-motion run into each other's arms. This is all wrong.

Rachel: Maybe we can just go to dinner or something just to get over the initial shock.

Shelby: I’m so sorry, Rachel. Uh... I’ll... I’ll call you.

—––—

In the carmel High school, Intrumental version of Bad Romance is playing while Vocal Adrenaline is dancing dressed in red satin queen costume. The music stops. Rachel is watching them wearing an horrible blanket with sleeves.

Shelby: Yeah, that’s better, guys. Take five. And, ladies, I don’t want to hear about chafing just because you’re being forced to wear metal underwear. Not my problem.

Rachel: Mom?

Shelby: Honey, you gotta stop sneaking into these rehearsals.

Rachel: It’s kind of important. (She opens her blanket revealing her Lady Gaga's outfit)

Shelby: Oh, dear God.

Rachel: My dads can’t sew. I really need a mom right now. Do you think you can help?

–——–

(I know it’s in the school but the majority of the non school parts are in Will's apartment so bare with it, please.)

In Will’s office, Will had Shelby come to his office.

Shelby: I know why you called, and don’t worry about it. My reconnection with Rachel is not some kind of plot to mess with you guys before regionals.

Will: I’m not worried about regionals. It’s Rachel. She’s special. She’s got all of the best of you. She’s strong-willed, dramatic, wildly talented.

Shelby: Go on.

Will: But she’s not hard like you. She’s fragile. Over-emotional. And she’s clearly convinced herself that you are as committed to this reunion as she is. And I don’t think you are. You’re not prepared to have a teenage daughter. Are you?

Shelby: I can’t have any more kids. There were issues a few years back. Then some surgery, and that’s that. I really wanted a daughter. That’s why it was so important to me to make that bond with her. But you’re right. I wanted my baby back. Rachel’s an adult now. She doesn’t need me.

Will: Shelby, I can’t tell you what to do... But if you really love her, you have to tell her what you just told me.

–——––

In the Hummel's House in the basement, Kurt took Finn downstairs.

Kurt: I had to skip school to finish it, but I think you’re really going to like it. Consider it a peace offering after all the yelling that we’ve been doing. I used Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper in Morocco as my inspiration. It’s a perfect blend of the masculine and the feminine; the muted and the theatrical.

Finn: Are you freaking insane? I can’t live here. I’m a dude. (pointing the folding-screen) What the hell is that supposed to be ?

Kurt: It’s a privacy partition. It’s all I could find on such short notice. Why are you getting angry about everything? I worked hard on this.

Finn (yelling at him): That’s not a privacy partition! Why is it so hard for you to understand? I don’t want to get dressed in front of you! Do you know that I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you’re around? I just... I don’t want to have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man.

Kurt (hurting): And what stuff are you referring to?

Finn: You know. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play dumb. Why can’t you just accept that I’m not like you ?

Kurt: I have accepted that.

Finn (sounding kind): No, you haven’t. You think I don’t see the way you stare at me? How flirty you get. You think I don’t know why you got so excited that we were going to be moving in together?

Kurt (getting angry at Finn): It’s just a room, Finn! We can redecorate it if you want to!

Finn (playing unfair with Kurt and getting angry at him): Okay, good. Well, then the first thing that needs to go is that f*ggy lamp. And then we need to get rid of this f*ggy couch cover...

Burt (coming down to Finn because he heard him yelling at Kurt): Hey! What did you just call him?

Finn (looking guilty): Oh, no, no, I didn’t call him anything. I was talking to the blanket.

Burt: If you use that word, you’re talking about him.

Kurt (defending Finn): Relax, Dad. I didn’t take it that way.

Burt: Yeah, that’s because you’re 16 and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. You use the "N" word?

Finn: Of course not.

Burt: How about ret*rd? You call that nice girl in Cheerios! With Kurt, you call her a the R word?

Finn: Becky-- no. She’s my friend. She’s got Down syndrome. I’d never call her that. That’s cruel.

Burt: But you think it’s okay to come into my house and say f*g?

Finn: That’s not what I meant...

Burt: I know what you meant! What, you think I didn’t use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice, we'd tell him to stop being such a f*g. Shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it’s some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently. Who just kind of, you know, came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry, Finn, but you can’t... you can’t stay here.

Kurt (crying): Dad.

Burt: I love your mom. And maybe this is going to cost me her, but my family comes first. I can’t have that kind of poison around. This is our home, Kurt. He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want, but not under my roof.

Finn leaves the place, speechless

Burt: The place looks great.

He puts a hand on Kurt’s shoulder who’s still crying and goes upstairs. Kurt sits on the couch.

—–—–—

In the WMHS auditorium...

Shelby: So, how'd your dads come up with the name "Rachel"?

Rachel: They were, um, big Friends fans. I know why you’re here... to say good-bye.

Shelby: I really wanted this to work. Do you know what really turned me? That story that you told me about your dads, and how they'd bring you water when you were sad. We’re never gonna have anything like that. It’s too late for us. I just think that anything we share right now is gonna be confusing for you.

Rachel: I just don’t understand. You’re my mom. I feel awful right now, and I should want to just fall into your arms and let you rock me and tell me everything is gonna be fine, but... I just don’t feel it.

Shelby: It’s because I’m your mother, but I’m not your mom.

Rachel: So what? Do we just pretend we don’t know each other now?

Shelby: That seems silly. Let’s just be grateful for one another... from afar. For a while. Don’t think for a second I’m gonna go soft on you during regionals.

Rachel (sniffles): Bring it. (chuckles)

Shelby: Can I have a hug good-bye ?

Rachel: Sure. (sniffles)

Shelby: Can you do me one more favor? Sometime when you’re thirsty... (She’s taking a package off of her bag and opens it. It contains a gold star water cup.) Can you get yourself some water from this cup? Gold stars are kinda my thing.

Rachel: Of course. (chuckles) Shelby... before you go, will... will you sing with me?Just one time. It’s sort of a fantasy of mine, and it would really mean a lot to me.

Shelby: I would be honored.

Rachel: Brad! (whispering to Shelby) He’s always just around. (Brad sits on the piano couch and Rachel gives him some scores) Um, take that. Here you go.(chuckles)

Rachel: I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas plays, Fold em', let em', hit me, raise it Baby, stay with me. Love the game, intuition play the cards with spades to start and after he’s been hooked I’ll play the one that’s on his heart. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh I’ll get him hot and show him what I’ve got Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-ohI’ll let him hot and show him what I’ve got.

Shelby: Can’t read my, can’t read my No he can’t read my poker face

Rachel: She’s got to love nobody

Shelby: Can’t read my, can’t read my No he can’t read my poker face.

Rachel and Shelby: She’s got to love nobody P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face. P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face

Shelby: I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be. A little gambling is fun when you’re with me Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun and, baby, when it’s love, if it ain’t rough, it isn’t fun Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh. I'll get him hot and show him what I’ve got (with Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh, I’ll get him hot). Show him what I’ve got. Can’t read my

Rachel: Can’t read my

Rachel and Shelby: No he can’t read my poker face. She’s got to love nobody Can’t read my can’t read my No he can’t read my poker face. She’s got to love nobody

Shelby (with Rachel): I won’t tell you that (I love you) Kiss or (hug you). Cause I'm (bluffin') with my (muffin) I’m not (lyin') I’m just (stunnin with my love-glue-gunnin')

Rachel: Just like a chick in the casino, take your bank before I pay you out

Shelby: I promise this, promise this, check this hand 'cause I am marvelous I’m marvelous

Rachel: I’m marvelous

Rachel and Shelby: I’m marvelous, So marvelous She’s got to love nobody, can’t read my, can’t read my. No he can’t read my poker face She’s got to love nobody

Shelby: You are really, really good.

Shelby leaves Rachel sad with the gold star cup.

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Theatricality (School Sets)

Tina is dressed in total goth look and Figgins look at her with rage in his eyes.

Tina: Am I in trouble?

Will: Come on. You’ve got more self-esteem than that. I think this might have something to do with your perfect attendance last semester.

Figgins: No. Miss Cohen-Chang is in trouble. It has come to my attention that the look you sport is what is known as goth.American teens are coming down with a serious case of Twilight fever, transformed from normal children into vampires obsessed with the occult. And only yesterday, this dark specter reared its head at McKinley High.

Flash Back - Lockers-Lauren and a clique of « Team Edward and Jacob »,Jacob Ben Israel

Some girls are in front of the lockers with Team Edward and Team Jacob T-shirts.

Lauren: This is totally going to get Robert Pattinson's attention.

Hissing

Jacob: Oh, hey. (Girls roaring and screaming jump on him) Oh, dear God!

End of Flash Back

Will: I don’t mean to state the obvious, but you do know that vampires aren’t real, right? They don’t exist.

Figgins: William, denial will not make this problem go away!

Tina: My parents won’t even let me watch Twilight. My mom says she thinks Kristin Stewart seems like a bitch.

Figgins: This is a serious problem! Miss Cohen-Chang, you’ve got to find yourself another style of dress!

Will: Hold on a second. Tina is shy and one way she’s found to express herself is through her clothes. High school is an incredibly important time when kids get to explore who they are. When I was in high school, I had a whole year where I dressed exactly like Kurt Cobain. I mean, come on. There has to be someone who you used to dress like.

Figgins: Yes. For several years in my early 20s, I dressed up as Elvis. But he was a Christian, Will! And he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat!

Tina (whispering to Will): I think he believes vampires are real.

Will: I think you’re right.

Figgins: Studies have shown that a strict dress code fosters a safe and stable learning environment with fewer instances of gang violence and vampirism. So, if I see you dressed in lacy demon clothes again, Tina Cohen-Chang, (pounds desk) You will be suspended!

—–—–

In the Choir Room, All the Glee Club and Mr Schue looked at Tina changed her look and wears a jogging that looks like pajamas.

Artie: It’s so weird.

Finn: This so isn't you.

Tina: I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.

Will: Tina, are there any other looks you can try?

Santana: Biker chick? (Tina puts her thumb down showing she doesn’t agree)

Finn: Cowgirl?

Mercedes: Hood rat.

Quinn: Computer programmer.

Britanny: Cross-country skier.

Puck: Catholic schoolgirl.

Britanny: Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.

Tina: Look, I appreciate it, guys,but it just isn’t me. I know who I am, and I’m not allowed to show it. It’s like communism.

Rachel (showing up in the room): Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I’ve been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?

Artie: Isn’t that against the rules?

Rachel: No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever! Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the Dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights.

Tina: Oh, no.

Rachel: Which led me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace. They were sold out.

Mercedes: Oh, sweet Jesus.

Kurt: Oh, my.

Will: Wait, what?

Kurt: They’re doing Gaga.

Mercedes: That’s it. It’s over.

Rachel: Exactly.

Kurt: We should have guessed it. They’re going for full-out theatricality. They know it’s the easiest way to beat us. Damn them.

Puck: What’s up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird,right? Like Bowie?

Rachel scoffs

Kurt (aggresive to Puck): Lady Gaga is a woman. She’s only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She’s boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation. And she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners.

Britanny: That’s true.

Artie: It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage. It's a brilliant move. She’s a perfect fit for them.

Will: Hold on a second. We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals. This week, your assignment : Gaga.

The girls and Kurt are gasping and murmuring, the guys don’t seem as happy as them of the week challenge.

Rachel: Pens, we need pens. My ideas just come to me.

Will: Uh, my office. Right there.

Rachel: I’m brainstorming. It’s coming.

–—–—

Finn knocks on the door to Will’s office.

Will: Oh, hey, Finn, come on in. (He enters) I’m learning all this amazing stuff about Lady Gaga. She’s got this thing called the "Haus of Gaga" which is like this collective of artists and designers who collaborate on, on her styles and stage sets and her music. I think it’s an exciting model for what we could be doing in Glee Club.

Finn: Yeah, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t want to do Lady Gaga. And I suspect that... with the exception of Kurt... that none of the other guysare gonna want to do it either. I just feel like we’re always doing whatever the girls want us to do.

Will: Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Maybe I haven’t been listening to you guys hard enough. So let’s find a solution.

Finn: Well, I, uh, I actually already have one.

—––—

Quinn was annoyed by Puck by what he just told her.

Puck: You’re wrong. It’s a really good name. It’s a rock star name.

Quinn: You want to name our daughter"Jack Daniels" ? She’s a girl !

Puck: Okay, fine, whatever. Jackie Daniels.

Quinn: The name is not the point. I told you this.I’m giving up the baby so I don’t have to do this with you. This is good for you. Now you can go off and be a rock star yourself.

Kurt and Tina entered the school, wearing outfits that Lady Gaga have wore before.

Tina: I love wearing champagne bubbles! I get to express a whole different side of myself! Because even though I’m painfully shy and obsessed with death, I’m a really effervescent person.

Karofsky and Azimio push them against the lockers but Kurt disagrees.

Kurt: Excuse me! Were you dropped on your heads?!

Karofsky: What was that?

Kurt: I think you heard me. I’m just saying. Pick on me - that’s fine - but don’t throw around a girl.

Kurt : I think you heard me. I’m just saying. Pick on me that’s fine, but don’t throw around a girl.

Azimio: Well, you know, lately, we haven’t been able to tell the difference. We’re not gaga for Gaga.

Karofsky: You dress all freaky, and then you rub it in everybody's faces. I don’t want to look at it all day! It’s weird. It makes my eyes tired.

Azimio: If you want to switch it up a bit, just go from Gap to Banana Republic.

Kurt: It’s called being theatrical. We’re showing off who you are. It’s the same thing you do when you go to school with your football uniforms on. You’re expressing yourself, and we have every right to do the same.

Azimio: Well, you know what? The next time you want to express yourself a little like a circus freak, don’t be shocked when my fist (shocks the locker with his fist) feels like expressing itself against your chin! Okay? Knock that crazy fool crepe-paper nonsense offa you.

Karofsky: Let’s go.

Kurt: Yeah, you don’t want to be late for your appointment at Supercuts!

Azimio: Watch your mouth, Hummel!

Karofsky: And you know what, fancy? You don’t need an appointment at Supercuts. They love walk-ins.

—––—–

All the ladies and Kurt were in Lady Gaga iconic outfits as they were all in the choir room.

Will: Little monsters, take a bow. (He laughs, applauses) All right! Ladies, Kurt, I am really, really impressed. Sientete. (They all sat down) You know, you know what the best part is? Each one of those costumes shows off a different aspect of your personalities.

Puck: Wait. Where’s Rachel? I mean, I only noticed because, like five minutes have without her saying something totally obnoxious.

Mercedes: Rachel kinda got some intense news yesterday.

Quinn: We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline, and...

Will (cuting her): You guys, that’s not fair! You gotta stop doing that. But, uh, you know, what, what'd you find out?

Mercedes: Okay, y'all ready? Miss Corcoran, their coach? She’s Rachel’s mom.

Will: Are you serious?

Artie: Way to bury the lead, Mercedes.

Puck: We’re screwed. Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline.

Rachel: Never! (She entered the room in a outfit with stuff animals all over the look.) I really don’t want to talk about it, though. I’m still processing the news. And my dads are moving my therapist to our spare room later this afternoon. All I can know is that I’m not going anywhere, and I’ve chosen a Lady Gaga look that expresses the longing for a childhood I was deprived of.

Britanny: You look terrible. I look awesome.

Mercedes: I think it’s the Kermit the Frog look.

Kurt: And we have a jumper.

Rachel: Well, my dads can’t sew, so these are just stapled on.

Will: Guys, why don’t we worry about this later, and maybe try to focus on the song?

Rachel: Couldn’t agree more. Hit it!

Kurt: Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah, Roma, roma-mah-mah Gaga, ooh la la, want your bad romance!

Tina: I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as it’s free. I want your love, Love, love, love. I want your love.

Mercedes: I want your psycho, your vertigo stick. Want you in my rear window, baby, you’re sick

Girl and Kurt: I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love. I want your love.

Quinn: You know that I want you and you know that I need you. (Kurt: Because I’m a freak, baby!) I want it bad, bad romance.

Girls and Kurt: I want your love and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance. I want your love and all your lover's revenge you and me could write a bad romance. Caught in a bad romance.

Tina: Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that thing crazy. (All girls:) Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that thing crazy. Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that thing crazy Walk, walk passion baby, work it. I’m a freak, baby!

Santana: I want your love and I want your revenge I want your love I don’t want to be friends! Want your bad romance! (Kurt: Caught in a bad romance) Want your bad romance!

Girls and Kurt: You and me could write a bad romance. I want your love and all your lover's revenge. You and me could write a bad romance (Santana: Want your bad romance) Caught in a bad romance Want your bad romance, want your bad romance. Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah, Roma, roma-mah-mah. Gaga, ooh la la Want your bad romance!

The boys and Schuester all clapped for them.

–——–

In the boys washroom, Finn is drawing a lighter on his face with a Kohl crayon but Azimio and Karofsky come out from the toilet and caught him with the make up on his face

Karofsky: What up, Finn?

Azimio: What’s that on your face? You got a bad pimple or something?

Karofsky: A Finn-ple?

Azimio and Karofsky laugh

Karofsky: Dude, are you wearing makeup?

Azimio: I knew it was contagious. You moved in with that little Kurt kid, and now you got a bad case of the gay.

Finn: It’s just something for Glee Club, all right?

Karofsky: Oh, well, then it’s (He pushes Finn back) definitely not gay, huh?

Finn (pushing him back): Get out of my way!

Azimio: Man, how many times do we got go through this?! You being a jock and being in this Glee Club does not make you versatile. It makes you bisexual.

Karofsky: And if we have to kick your ass to make you understand that, then our schedules are wide open.

Azimio: Get out of my bathroom. You girls, y'all belong across the hallway. Glee boy!

Karofsky laughs and they both get out of the bathroom leaving Finn ashamed. He sighs.

—–—–

The girls and Kurt are sitting in the bleachers waiting for the guys to show up their theatricality. Rachel entered the auditorium in a pure Lady Gaga outfit.

Rachel : Sorry I’m late.

Mercedes : Whoa, looking good, Rachel !

Rachel : Thanks. My mom made it.

Britanny (in the background): Very nice.

Will: Well, we’re all here, so without further ado, I’d like to introduce The Boys!

Artie (from the backstadge): Lima, Ohio, get ready to rock!

The curtains open to see the boys in KISS costume and makeup. Girls laugh and cheer the boys as if they were rockstars.

Finn: Well, the night's begun and you want some fun. Do you think you’re gonna find it? (New Direction Boys: Think you’re gonna find it)

Puck: You got to treat yourself like number one. Do you need to be reminded? (New Direction Boys: Need to be reminded)

Artie (with New Directions Boys): It doesn’t matter what you do or say. Just forget the things that you’ve been told. We can't do it any other way. Everybody's got to rock and...(roll) (Whoo, oh, oh)

Artie, Finn, and Puck with New Direction Boys: Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud, shout it, shout it, shout it out loud.

Finn (New Direction Boys): If you don’t feel good, there’s a way you could. Don’t sit there broken-hearted (Sit there broken hearted). Call all your friends in the neighborhood and get the party started (Get the party started)

Puck with Artie: Don’t let them tell you that there's too much noise They’re too old to really understand. You’ll still get rowdy with the girls and boys, Cause it’s time for you to take a stand

Artie, Finn, and Puck with New Direction Boys: Yeah, yeah Yeah! Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud (Puck: You’ve got to have a party). Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud (Finn: Turn it up louder). Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud (Artie: Everybody shout it, now) Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud (Puck: Oh yeah, yeah). Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud (Finn: I hear it getting louder) Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud (Artie: And everybody shout it now). Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud

Finn and Puck: Nooooo-ohhh! (Artie: Whoaah!)

Will: All right, guys, very impressive. Very, very... loud. (chuckles). But what, uh, what does that performance express? And what do those costumes illustrate?

Mike: We did our research, Mr. Shue.

Puck: Yeah, Finn’s demon look is because Gene Simmons liked comic books as a kid, and they called Paul Stanley the "Star Child" because he was a romantic or something. But that doesn’t really explain my whore lips.

Artie: And my Ace Frehley is supposed to be a spaceman from another planet. Mike's iconic catman is because Peter Criss claimed to have nine lives.

Matt: Yeah, and I’m dressed as the guy who replaced Artie when he quits.

Will: Well, congratulations, guys. Job well done. Let’s give it up for the boys!

The girls all cheer them up.

—–—––

In the hallway,

Kurt: I thought the boy's KISS number was good, although the lyrics did leave something to be desired.

Tina: And Finn kept sticking his tongue out and I couldn’t stop picturing him licking stuff. It was disturbing.

They’re stopped on their way by Karofsky and Azimio looking angry because of the Gaga's clothes that Kurt and Tina are still wearing.

Karofsky: We warned you.

Azimio: Now Gaga's got to go.

–—

In the choir room...

Kurt: You look like you should be in orbit.

Tina: My balls keep falling off.

Kurt: I’ve been there. (He looks at Finn with anger)

Finn (whispering to Kurt): I want to talk about this.

Kurt (whispering back to him with arrogance): There’s not much to say. I feel sorry for you. I thought you were different.

Finn: I am different.

They are cutting off in their talk by Mr. Schue.

Will: All right, let’s get things started.

Puck: Mr. Shue. There’s something I want to say to Quinn. And I want everybody to hear it.

Will: All right.

Puck (walking into the room): At first I didn’t really get this theatrical assignment, being larger than life and putting it all out there,'cause I’m kind of like that all the time. That’s how my dad was, too. He was too busy being all crazy and rock and roll to be there for his kid. And you know what? I didn’t care that my dad was a badass. I just wanted him to be there. And he never was. And then I learned all this KISS stuff and while Jackie Daniels is a great name for like a powerboat or something, it’s not right for a baby girl. So if my KISS mates will help me out, I got a better idea. Grab a stool, guys.

Puck: Beth I hear you calling, but I can’t come home right now. Me and the boys are playing and we just can’t find the sound.

Puck with New Directions Boys: Just a few more hours and I’ll be right home to you. I think I hear them calling, Oh, Beth, what can I do? Beth what can I do?

Finn: You say you feel so empty that our house just ain’t a home. And I’m always somewhere else and you’re always there alone

Finn and Puck with New Directions Boys: Just a few more hours and I’ll be right home to you. I think I hear them calling Oh, Beth, what can I do? Beth what can I do?

Puck: Beth, I know you’re lonely and I hope you’ll be alright. 'Cause me and the boys will be playing all night. All night

Puck (to Quinn): I know you’re giving her up, but before you do, I think you should name her Beth. If you’ll let me, I’d really like to be there when she’s born. I’d really like to meet her.

Quinn nods with tears in her eyes.

––——–

Will walks into the Choir Room.

Will: Whoa! Guys, why are you all in your theatricality costumes?

Artie: It’s the end of the week. We were kinda hoping to learn what the lesson of the assignment was.

Will: Well, um... You guys have had some great numbers this week, but I’m not totally sure that I know either.

They all laugh.

Tina (coming into the room in her Gothic clothes): I do. I refuse to dress like somebody I’m not to be somebody I’m not. And I learned it’s good to be a little theatrical.

Flash Back :School Corridor - Tina and Figgins

Figgins is going home but runs into Tina who's dressed like a vampire.

Tina: So here’s what’s going to happen. My dad - he’s the king of the vampires. And Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires. You’re going to let me wear my lady demon clothes, or my dad will fly into your bedroom and bite your face off. He’s really pissed. Is that what you want?

Figgins: No, I don’t want that. I’m afraid.

Tina: Good. I’m glad we had this talk. Now I have to go back to my coffin because the light is burning my eyes!

End of Flash Back

All the members of the Glee Club applause and cheer Tina.

Will: There she is.

Artie: Wait. Where’s Kurt and where’s Finn?

Azimio and Karofsky are holding back Kurt against the corridor wall.

Kurt: Fine. You want to hit me? You want to beat me up? Go ahead. But I swear to you. I will never change. I’m proud to be different. It’s the best thing about me. So go ahead, hit me.

Azimio: I believe I will. (To Karofsky) Sir, would you like to go first?

Finn: You’re not hitting anyone.

Kurt: Oh, my God.

Azimio: Is he wearing a red rubber dress or am I tripping?

Finn: I want to thank you, Kurt. I realize I still have a lot to learn, but the reason I’m here right now in a shower curtain, is... Because of you. And I’m not going to let anyone lay a hand on you.

Karofsky : (chuckles) Oh, really, dude ? 'Cause I'm pretty sure we can take both of you.

Puck (following by all the Glee Club): Yeah? But can you take all of us?

Azimio: Okay. Okay, I get it. I took biology. You know what, Karofsky? We done disturbed the freak hive. The worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak.

Karofsky: Next time... We’ll bring some friends, too.

They both leave.

Rachel: I’m tired of everyone calling us freaks.

Mercedes: Take a look at us. We are freaks.

They all laugh.

Finn: But we’re all freaks together. (He looks at Kurt that joins them and responds to the smile his almost brother gives him) And we shouldn’t have to hide it.

Will (clapping): Nice job, Finn. I think you just figured out what the lesson was. Kinda makes me wish I had planned it. But Mercedes is right, you do all look incredibly insane.

All the Gleeks: Thank you. Thank you.

Will: You’re so welcome. Anyways, let’s get back to work before you’re all forced to join the circus. Next stop? Regionals.

They all get back to the choir room and Kurt and Finn congratulate each other for their Lady Gaga's outfit.

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Bad Reputation (Glee Kids)

I'm excluding the adults parts

Some glee members were laughing at a video of someone dancing to Olivia Newton John's Physical. Finn (enters the room): What’s so funny?

Rache and Jesse enter the room. Rachel: You aren’t watching the video of me falling off stage at my first Tiny Tots beauty pageant?

Kurt: That was Carrot-Top funny compared to this comedic tour de force.

Jesse: That’s Olivia Newton-John's "Physical." It was pretty groundbreaking subject matter at the time considering its depiction of fluid sexuality.

Mercedes: (Laughing) Oh, my G- Wait, wait.

Finn then realized: That’s not Olivia Newton-John. That’s -That’s Sue Sylvester.Where did you get this?

Kurt: I can tell you that I certainly did not steal it from her locked file cabinet yesterday when she sent me back to her office to get her hormone replacement injection during Cheerios practice. (Laughs)

Artie: Wait. Did she just do the Cabbage Patch?

[Mercedes Laughs]

Finn: I’m posting this on YouTube.

Rachel: No, no, wait, wait. Do you think that’s a good idea? She might kill us.

Mercedes: Oh, let her get a taste of some of the humiliation she put us through.

Jesse: I’m with Finn. You guys need to stop being such asses and start being badasses.

Finn smiled at Jesse as he took the laptop. Finn: Ten bucks it goes viral by lunch.

–—––—

Will held up a lost with some names on the list. Will: Who did it? This is serious. Principal Figgins is threatening to disband the club.

Santana: Why are we playing this game? We all know it was Puck.

Puck: Back off. I didn’t do squat.

Tina: Then why is your girlfriend first on the Glist?

Rachel: And why am I last? Aside from the fact that I refused to put out for you.

Will: Okay, enough! No one is accusing anyone of anything. Puck, seriously, did you do it?

Puck: I said no. I’m a delinquent, sure. I like setting stuff on fire and beating up people I don’t know. I own that. But I’m not a liar.

Will: All right, here’s the important point. Between this and posting Coach Sylvester's personal video on YouTube you guys are getting a pretty bad reputation.

Artie: Why is that a bad thing? Maybe if we seem more dangerous, people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet.

Will: Look, things are hard right now. I get it. You’re under a lot of pressure with regionals coming up. I know that winning sectionals hasn’t had the positive effect on your popularity... that a lot of you thought it would. But becoming what you despise is not the answer. (Hands papers to the members)

Mercedes: Man, this song is wack.

Will: No, it’s not. It’s a terrific song on a long list of top hits that, because of time or some bad press, has become a joke. And like you guys, it’s time to start rehabilitating its bad reputation. The assignment for the week is for all of you to find songs like thi mine them for what works and make them great again and then, hopefully, you can apply this musical lesson to your own lives.

Jesse: This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking. (That served a lot of laughing.)

Will: You wanna bet?

Artie: Oh, no, he didn’t!

Will: Yo, VIP Let’s kick it

New Directions: Ice ice baby, ice ice baby.

Will (with New Directions): All right stop, collaborate and (listen) Ice is back with a brand new invention. Something grabs ahold of me tightly Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. (Will it ever stop?) Yo, I don’t know. Turn off the lights, huh, and I’ll glow to the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal. Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle (Dance) bum rush the speakers that booms. I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom(Deadly) When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony. (Love it or leave it) You better gain way, you better hit bull's eye (The kid don’t play). If there was a problem, (yo) I’ll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

New Directions: Ice Ice Baby, vanilla, Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby.

Will (with New Directions): Take heed, cause I’m a lyrical (poet) Miami's on the scene just in case youdidn’t (know it). My town, that created all the bass sound, ennough to shake and kick holes in the ground. Cause my style's like a chemical (spill), feasible rhymes that you can vision and (feel). Conducted and formed, this is a hell of a concept, we make it hype and you want to step (with this). Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja Cut like a razor blade so fast, other DJs say ("Damn") If my rhyme was a drug, I’d sell it by the (gram). Keep my composure when it’s time to get loose. Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice, if there was a problem, (yo, I’ll solve it), check out the hook while DJ revolves it.

New Directions: Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Too cold, too cold, Ice Ice Ice Ice

Will: Yo man, let’s get out of here, word to your mother.

Will: This song is officially paroled! Right, Jesse? You got me? (Jesse nods, agreeing.)

–—–—

Rachel walked beside Artie.

Rachel: I need to enlist the services of the A/V Club.

Artie: What did you have in mind?

Rachel: My shame at appearing so low on the Glist has made me reevaluate my image at this school and beyond. I've realized that in today's culture of bad boy athletes and celebrity sex tapes a good reputation is no good at all.

Rachel stood or leaned down to Artie. Rachel: Artie, you know how our Glee Club assignment was to find a song with a bad reputation and rehabilitate it? Well, mine is going to afford me the worst reputation in this school. Rachel Berry is going to get a little down and dirty.

Artie: I’m gonna stop you. You had me at "sex tape." How can I help?

Rachel: Hold on to your hat because Rachel Berry is going to become musically promiscuous. She smirks and walks away.

–——–

Kurt, Artie, Tina and Mercedes were in the choir room around the piano. Kurt: Fellow Glee Clubbers, I have called this meeting because our free-falling reps have reached terminal velocity. We are at DEFCON 1.

Mercedes: We’re such zeros, they didn’t bother putting us on the Glist.

Kurt: What does a C-lister do when their tiny star is about to fall off Perez Hilton's radar screen? They cause a scandal so extreme they can no longer be ignored.

Artie (raising a hand): Um, excuse me. Why is she here?

Brittany was in the room but they didn’t notice her until Artie said something about it. Brittany: I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold, and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and now I can’t remember how to leave. But I also don’t know why I’ve only made fourth on the Glist. I made out with, like, everyone in this school girls, boys, Mr. Kidney the janitor. I need to do something to get into the top three.

Kurt: Fine, you’re in.

Mercedes: In what? We don’t even have a plan.

Kurt: What is the worst thing a student can do at this school?

Tina: eat in the cafeteria? (Making Mercedes and her laugh)

Kurt: No, be a disruption in the library. I’m not talking about trying to check out a reference book. Uh-uh. I’m talking about full-on chaos including getting your Glee on in the stacks.

Artie (amused): Genius!

—–——

Rachel was at her house in her rom. Rachel: Do you know that when we dated, the rest of the school gave us a nickname? Puckleberry.

Puck was in horror wearing a mask that was from Phantok of the Opera. Puck: That’s humiliating.

Rachel: The fact is that slumming it with me actually improved your reputation. It gave you a sense of humanity.

Puck takes off the mask. Puck: Wait. Do you want to date again? I was wondering why you invited me here.

Rachel: As you know, I’m taken, but I can be of some assistance. Help me with my song for Glee Club. I-I might be the last chance you have to salvage what’s left of your reputation and stay in Glee. Besides, you need a song that’s gonna help you to express your inner pain.

Puck: What song do you wanna do for your assignment?

Rachel: I’ve chosen David Geddes's fantastically terrible '70s Top 10 hit, "Run Joey Run." It’s a story song, so we get to play parts. I’m gonna play the role of the tragic heroine who dies in the end la Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge and you can be the hunky, heroic male lead.

Puck: Do I get to kill you?

Rachel: N-Actually, my dad shoots me with a shotgun.

Puck (Sighs): Do you think I made that Glist? Honestly. (Sits down on Rachel’s bed)

Rachel (follows): Well, it does sound like something that you would do.

Puck: God, I’m so tired of people judging me for a few mistakes I’ve made. I try to be a good guy. I go to school and I say, "Be cool, Puck. Be nice." But by second period, I’ve got a fire extinguisher in my hands and I’m spraying some dweeb with it, and I don’t know how I got there.

I understand. Yeah. I sit in Glee Club and I watch a couple of imperfect performances and a litany of criticisms just start building up inside of me like a volcano and I keep telling myself to hold it in, and then it just comes bursting out. Granted, generally, I’m right but doesn’t do much for my reputation.

Puck: It does suck when you do that.

So, uh, how do you think

we can get people to see us differently?

Puck: I don’t know. (He leans in but Rachel stops him)

Rachel: I ca- I can’t do this.

Puck: You know, whoever made that Glist is gonna put you at number one when they find out you cheated on that Jesse kid with me. Besides, Jesse will never fully understand what it means to be a Jew.

Puck leaned in again, but Rachel stops him again.

Rachel: No, I-I’m ironically turned on by your bad boy image but I think we should just keep this professional.

Puck (scoffed): All right, I’m out. Why should I stay if there’s no chance of us making out?

Rachel: Uh, Noah... (takes his hand) Please come and sit down, and let’s work on the project. Okay? It’ll help us both, I promise.

–——–

Artie, Brittany, Kurt, Mercedes and Tina entered the library wearing bomber jackets and colorful pants.

Mercedes: Looks like we got a full house, y'all.

Artie: I’m kind of getting cold feet here.

Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

Librarian: Shh!

Kurt: Team, listen up. If we pull this off, we will be legends at this school. We’ll rocket up the Glist. We’ll be top five, easy. Artie, pump up the jam. It’s about to go down.

Artie: U can’t touch this

Artie (The Group): My-my-my-my (U can't touch this) music hits me so hard makes me say, 'oh my lord thank you for blessing me, with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet. It feels good. When you know you’re down A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown. And I'm known as such and this is a beat-uh! U can’t touch

Artie with the Group: U can’t touch this

The librarian came out from her seat and approach the teens. Artie: Here it comes.

Librarian: That was very cute. I'm gonna talk to my pastor and see if I can't get you kids to perform that for our Sunday service.

That didn’t work.

–——–

Will: Look, I don’t like doing this any more than you do but if I don’t find out who made that Glist and stop another one from being published the whole Glee Club's going down, and I can’t let that happen.

Will was investigating the members and the first one was Finn.

Finn: Look, I know I’ve been kind of angry lately, and sometimes I kick over chairs and stuff but I didn’t do it.

Will: All the pieces fit. You have a very big ax to grind with several people on that Glist. Quinn broke your heart, Puck betrayed your friendship you’re dealing with Kurt's dad dating your mom. And I happen to know you’ve had your ups and downs with Santana and Brittany.

Next up was Mercedes:

I have nothing against Santana, and I like Brittany. Quinn's the one that has a beef with them.

Will: Well, there are an awful lot of Cheerios on that Glist. Isn’t it true that you still feel like an outcast in that group?

Mercedes: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I like being a Cheerio. And why does everyone just assume I’m angry all the time? It's called being sassy, Mr. Schue.

Next was Artie.

Artie: It’s simple math, Mr. Schue. The Glists are posted at a height of five and a half feet, comfortably out of my reach. It could not have been me. And I have it on good word that....

Tina was next...

Tina: I saw Puck putting up the Glist in the hallway.

Then Puck...

Puck: I was moving it! Somebody put it on Rachel's locker, so I moved it. I was being a man, doing the right thing.

Will: At some point, Puck the lies are gonna stop, and you’re gonna start to sing.

Puck: If I did it, why would I put myself at number three? As far as badasses go, I'm number "wha." I’ll say it again, I didn’t do it!

Then Brittany but....

Brittany: I don’t know how to turn on a computer.

Quinn was next.

Quinn: Rachel did it. Think about it. I stole the guy she's in love with then stole the guy she dated to get over the guy she’s in love with and I’m a bitch to her.

Will: Just doesn’t seem like Rachel.

Quinn: She’s gone behind your back before. And I mean, who's to say that there's only one culprit?

Will slams his hands on the table. Will: Look, I know you know something! So we’re not leaving here until I get some answers!

Kurt looked at him oddly. Kurt: Mr. Schuester, may I be blunt?

Will [Sighs]: Shoot.

Kurt: Ever since you separated from your wife you’re spent a lot of late nights watching reruns of Law & Order, haven’t you? (Will looked down) Hmm. Thought so and no, I didn’t make the Glist.

Will: [Sighs] Right.

Kurt: We’re as menacing as Muppet Babies which means our squeaky-clean reputations are still very much intact.

Artie: We have to do what we’re been dreading something more terrifying than Rachel's personality. We have to go to Sylvester and admit that we posted the "Physical" video.

Tina: But we’ll get suspended.

Kurt: It will be worth it. Finally, the entire student body will see us as badasses.

—–—–

The School Bell Rings, as the five Glee kids were on the hallway. Artie: Remember, if Sylvester hits you in the face after you cop to posting the video don’t scream like a woman.

Mercedes: You’re so brave for doing this, Kurt.

Kurt: I know. Thank you.

Mercedes: Oh, my God! Alarming Kurt.

Kurt (approached her): Coach Sylvester, can I have just a minute of your time?

Sue: What do you want, lady-face?

Kurt: You’re aware a tape was leaked onto the Internet causing you to become a national laughingstock? We stole the tape from your syringe-and-pill drawer. We posted it online. We’ll accept whatever punishment you see fit.

Sue: So it was you. I can’t thank you enough.

—–—

Later, the five were in a classroom looking up on the laptop. Artie: She wasn’t angry at all. It was weird.

Tina: Maybe the comments online have gotten so mean, and people have started to feel sorry for her. She’s finally getting some sympathy, so she’s in a forgiving mood.

Kurt found a link that got his attention. Kurt: Wait a second. Take a look at this.

Mercedes: Isn’t that...

It was Sue Sylvester and Olivia Newton-John doing Physical together.

Mercedes (letting out a breath): Phew!

Mercedes + Tina: Again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again! Banging the table.

Artie: I need to learn to do this verse.

Brittany: All day.

–—–—

It was someone's project for Glee Club. Will: All right, guys, listen up. Another week has almost passed. If a list goes up again later today, this issue is out of my hands and it becomes Principal Figgins's jurisdiction.

Finn: Seriously, Mr. Schue, whoever made that list is not gonna come forward. We might as well just bend over and take whatever's coming.

Will: Fine. Okay. Well, then, uh, let’s get to it. Rachel, how 'bout you show us your bad reputation project?

Rachel: I’d like to say a few words first, though I understand that a motion picture should stand on its own I do realize that some of you are not well-versed in the complex vocabulary of the filmic arts. I expect that this video will go over some of the heads of our less-cultured teammates. So let me just say I hope you enjoy my bad reputation. Lights. Okay, go.

The film started with Santana and Brittany as angels.

Brittany and Santana: Aaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah.

Rachel appeared as the main protagonist.

Rachel with Brittany and Santana harmonizing: Daddy, please don’t , It wasn’t his fault. He means so much to me, Daddy please don’t. We’re gonna get married

Rachel: Just you wait and see

The video starts out in Puck's room, with Puck starring as Joey.

Puck: Every night, the same old dream, I hate to close my eyes. I can’t erase the memory, the sound of Julie's cry. She called me up, late that night She said, "Joe, don’t come over". My Dad and I just had a fight and he stormed out the door. I’ve never seen him act this way, My God, he’s going crazy

Puck with Brittany and Santana harmonizing: He said he’s gonna make you pay, for what we’ve done, he’s got a gun.

Puck with Brittany and Santana: So run, Joey run, Joey run!

Rachel with Brittany and Santana harmonizing: Daddy, please don’t , It wasn’t his fault. He means so much to me, Daddy please don’t. We’re gonna get married

Rachel: Just you wait and see

The scene was outside in a red car with Jesse as Joey #2.

Jesse: Got in my car, drove like mad, Til I reached Julie's place. She ran to me, with tear-filled eyes and bruises on her face. All at once I saw him there, sneaking up behind me (Rachel: Watch out!) Then Julie yelled, "He’s got a gun!"

Then Finn was Joey #3. Sandy Ryanson was Julie's dad with a gun up.

Finn: And she stepped in front of me. Then, suddenly, a shot rang out and I saw Julie falling.

Finn with Brittany and Santana harmonizing: I ran to her; I held her close, when I looked down, my hands were red!

It was fake blood on Finn’s hand.

Finn: And here’s the last words Julie said:

Rachel: Daddy, please don’t. It wasn’t his fault, he means so much to me. Daddy, please don’t We’re gonna get married.....

Brittany and Santana: Aaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah

Julie dies.

Jesse with Brittany and Santana: Run, Joey, run, Joey, run,

Finn with Brittany and Santana: Joey, run,

Puck with Brittany and Santana: Joey, run,

Finn, Jesse, and Puck (with Brittany and Santana harmonizing): Joey, run, Joey, run.....!

Rachel: Well, why don’t we just, um, take a moment to really absorb what we’ve just watched?

Finn (angry): This is garbage!

Will (coming to defense): Finn!

Puck: No, he’s right. I need to trust my instincts more because I had a feeling when we were shooting that it was not gonna be good.

Will tried to speak up but Jesse cut in.

Jesse: Why didn’t you tell me they were in this too? I thought you and I were going out. Being triple cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend- it’s mortifying.

Rachel: It was an artistic statement.

Finn: No, it wasn’t! It was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot, slutty girl singer! (Finn then stood in front of her.) How could you do this to me, to all us guys? Is your stupid reputation more important than your relationships?

Jesse left the room. Rachel: Jesse, wait.

—–—–

Will walked out of Emma's office and saw how Quinn was behaving.

Will: I know you’re behind the Glist.

Quinn: You have no proof. I can’t believe that you’re gonna pin this on me. I’ll be expelled. I mean, it makes sense. Everything else has been taken from me- my popularity, my body. Might as well throw away my education.

Will: You know when I realized that you did it? The moment I felt what it was like to walk in your shoes. I mean, it takes years to build a good reputation but only seconds to destroy it. Couple bad choices, and you go from the top to the bottom. (Got on his knees) You have lost so much, Quinn which means you had the most to gain from the Glist.

Quinn (cries): I never meant to hurt anybody.

Will: I know.

Quinn (scoffs): I was captain of the cheerleading squad, president of the Celibacy Club. I had Finn. People would part like the Red Sea when I walked down the hallway. Now I’m invisible.

Will: And you think being seen as a cheap tramp is better?

Quinn: A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all.

Look, I know that high school feels like your whole life right now but it’s going to end. You’re gonna give that baby to a family who really wants it, who’s gonna love it and then you are gonna go on to do amazing things, Quinn.

Quinn: You really think that I can get it all back one day?

Will [Exhales]: No. I think you can get something even better. I mean, come on! You're Quinn Fabray, right? [Quinn Chuckles] Those people didn’t part when you walked down the halls, you moved them with your attitude.

Quinn: Thanks, Mr. Schue. You’re a really good teacher even if everybody is calling you a man-whore.

Figgins (enters the choir room): You wanted to see me, William? I trust you have come up with the perpetrators of the Glist.

Will: I, um-I grilled every single one of my students and, uh, no one no one copped to making the Glist. They all closed ranks and wouldn’t rat out who did it.

Figgins: That’s poppycock, Will. I will not let this school be held hostage by juvenile shenanigans.

Will: I know, but I mean, your point has been made. The Glists have stopped. I think we should just call this a victory and move on.

Figgins: Fine. I’m still praying for you, Will.

Quinn: [Whispers] Thank you.

–——–

Rachel opened her locker but then Jesse stood beside it. Rachel: Hi. Are you still mad at me?

Jesse: You know, before I transferred here to make you my girlfriend I asked around about you, found out your rep, what kind of girl you were.

Rachel: What did they say?

Jesse: Most of them had no idea who you were. The ones that did said you were kind of sneaky hot but that that quality was canceled out by a compulsive need to be right and a strange affinity for sweaters with animals on them. The most interesting part was that even though no one particularly liked you they all said you were a person who could be trusted.

Rachel: I still am! I have this pathological need to be popular, okay? I- I just want people to think I’m cool so bad sometimes that it just clouds my judgment. As a fellow star in the making, I’m sure you can understand that.

Jesse: On that level, sure. As the guy who gave up everything to be your one and only I just can’t see past this. I should have been enough for you, Rachel.

Rachel: I knew you’d break my heart.

Jesse: Well, that’s the funny thing about reputations. Everyone thinks I’m the big heartbreaker but the fact of the matter is you broke mine first. Do me a favor. If we end up next to each other on the bar at Ballet Club this week just do your arabesques and piqués in silence. Don’t talk to me. (Walks away from her, completely hurting her) (But who cares.)

—–—–

Time for one last performance from Rachel since eshe hurt Finn and Jesse but Puck didn’t care that much.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Total Eclipse Of The Heart BY Bonnie Tyler

Finn: Turn around

Rachel: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round

Puck: Turn around

Rachel: Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears

Jesse: Turn around

Rachel: Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes

Finn: Turn around bright eyes

Rachel: Every now and then I fall apart

Rachel with New Directions harmonizing: And I need you now tonight And I need you more than ever, and if you only hold me tight. We’ll be holding on forever and we’ll only be making it right, Cause we’ll never be wrong. Together we can take it to the end of the line, your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (New Directions: All of the time) I don’t know what to do I’m always in the dark. We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks (with New Directions: I really need you tonight) Forever's gonna start tonight (New Directions: Forever's gonna start tonight)

Once upon a time there was light in my life

Rachel with Finn: Now there’s only love in the dark, nothing I can say, Total eclipse of the heart

Jesse: Turn around bright eyes

Rachel: Every now and then I fall apart

Jesse: Turn around bright eyes

Rachel: Every now and then I fall apart,

And I need you now tonight And I need you more than ever, and if you only hold me tight. We’ll be holding on forever and we’ll only be making it right, cause we’ll never be wrong. Together we can take it to the end of the line, your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (New Directions: All of the time) I don’t know what to do I’m always in the dark. We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks (with New Directions: I really need you tonight) Forever's gonna start tonight (New Directions: Forever's gonna start tonight)

Everyone started to leave the room, with Finn going first and Rachel didn’t like it.

Rachel: Once upon a time I was falling in love

Rachel with Jesse: Now I’m only falling apart There’s nothing I can do

Rachel: A total eclipse of the heart

Jesse: Turn around bright eyes

Jesse was the last one to leave the room, leaving Rachel all alone.

#transcript #glee

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Home (Non School Sets)

Carole, Finn’s mom was selling her things and the movers took the couch out the door.

Carole: Why are you so upset?

Finn: It’s not your bed. Don’t you have any feelings about it? It’s your and Dad's honeymoon set. I was conceived in that bed.

Carole: You were conceived on a pinball machine.

Mover: Well... I think that’s everything. You mentioned something about the recliner?

Finn was shocked by what he was hearing.

Carole: Oh! Yeah. It doesn’t look like much,

but the parts all work.

Worker: Ooh, my wife would love this. Sciatica.

Finn (yells): Mom! No! (Looks at the mover) It’s not for sale. (The mover left the premises.) This is Dad's chair. (He picked up a picture of his dad and him as a baby.) This is the only picture of the two of us. It’s the only picture there will ever be of the two of us and he’s sitting in this chair.

Carole: It’s a chair, honey. It’s not him.

Finn: What’s going on with you? Selling all our old stuff, you got new clothes, a new haircut...

Carole: I’m seeing someone, Finn. (Finn: Uh...) I think I’m in love.

Finn: Who is it? Do I know him?

Carole: It’s your friend Kurt’s father, Burt Hummel.

Finn was shocked by what he was hearing.

—–—–

Will visits a local roller rink, Rinky Dinks, where he finds former glee club member, April Rhodes, well a voice.

April: Okay, fellas, grab a gal or grab another fella if that’s the way the good Lord made ya, 'Cause it’s a couples skate!

Will: No way.

April saw him. April: Well, as I live and breathe! Will Schuester? I just had a sex dream about you! Oh, isn’t he smokin?

Will ran on the drink and to the stage. Will: April, please, stop speaking into the mic!

April: Wait, I smell somethin'.

Will: What?

April: I smell a duet comin' on! “Fire!” Springsteen! Hit it!

The music started, April gave him a microphone. Will: What is going on here? You own this place?

She ignored him and starts singing.

April: I’m riding in your car, you turn on the radio. You’re pulling me close I just say no. I say I don’t like it, but you know I’m a liar

April + Will: Cause when we kiss, ooh, fire (Mmh) fire.

Will: Late at night Ooh

April and Will (April): You’re taking me home, you say you wanna stay (I wanna stay) (Will: I say I) wanna be alone. I say I don’t love you but you know I’m a liar

Cause when we kiss. Ooh, fire, Fire. Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah

Will: Oh, baby, you can bet, a love they couldn’t deny.

April (Will): My words they say split (Yeah) But my words may lie (May lie)

April and Will (Will): Cause when we kiss Ooh, fire (Uh-oh) fire

After the song, Will and April were sitting down.

Will: April, what happened? Last time I saw you you were getting cleaned up, headed off to Branson.

April: I know! It’s crazy, right? I was so jazzed about sobering up and starting a new life, I had to stop at a bar to get a drink just to calm down and I hung out at that bar for a few months or so.One day an old codger, about 75, 80, came in and asked to buy me a drink. Get this- Buddy Leibowitz.

Will: Of Leibowitz Strip Malls?

April (smiles): I’m his new mistress.

Will: April, I really thought you were serious about getting sober.

April: Oh, don’t look so disappointed, Will. Who are we kidding, really? I’m nothing but a washed-up dreamer. It’s all I’ll ever be. Besides, I’ve finally realized my lifelong ambition of being a mistress to an incredibly wealthy strip mall tycoon and the owner-operator of a cabaret roller rink!

Will: Um, listen, about that, well, the Glee Club kinda needs some rehearsal space. Sue's commandeered the auditorium.

April (eagerly): You kiddin'? Bring 'em here.

Will: Really? That would be amazing!

April: Yeah!

Will: And I promise, it’s only temporary. You’re the best. (They five highed) Listen, I gotta run. I’ve got an appointment to show my apartment.

April: What’s this now?

Will: Yeah. So I need to rent out my apartment and find a smaller place to live. Uh, because I’m- I’m getting a divorce.

April (shouts): Divorce? (She quieted down) So you’re free to date, and by "date," I mean sleep with people. And by "sleep with," I mean have sex with people. People like me! (Chuckles) Kidding. (Will chuckled as well.) April: Not really. But listen to this. You’re looking for a sublettor, I’m looking for a place to stay. One catch, I’m full-time fancy now, Will. I’m gonna want to check the place out. I’m gonna wanna check the "fong schwang" or the "fing fong" whatever they call it. Tell you what. I’m gonna go get myself a bikini wax and I’m gonna see you tomorrow.

She grabbed her drink and walked away.

—–––

There was a knock on Will's apartment and he answered it to see April with a bag.

April: Hiya, hot stuff.

Will: Hey, April. Uh, come in. What’s with the duffel bag?

April: Can’t have an overnighter without an overnight bag.

Will (cringed): Overnight?

April: Baby, I’m an artist. I don’t go by brains, I go by feel. I need to settle into the energy of the place, get to know the ghosts.

Will: Won’t Buddy miss you?

April: He’s out of town. Something about buying a new kidney or lung.

Will: Look, April, I’m really not comfortable with any of this.

April: I’m not looking for a hook-up, Will. I just sleep better with someone inside the house. Guess I’ve been just feeling a little lonely, you know. Just one night?

Will didn’t answer but April sighed annoyed. April: Oh, look, do you want to sublet this place quick or not?

Will: Okay, fine. But you get the couch and no funny business.

April smirked and Will walked away not noticing April putting a disc in a player.

Will (out the room): The bathroom is right around the corner.

April: Sometimes you just need a little Burt.

Will: Take whatever you want from the refrigerator-April. The liquor cabinet is off limits.

April (smiling shyly): Oh, no worries. Brought my own.

Will (silently groaned): Good night, April.

Apeil: Good night, Will.

She took off her coat and was in a nightgown.

April: One less bell to answer, one less egg to fry. One less man to pick up after I should be happy but all I do is cry

Will: Cry, cry, no more laughter

April: Oh, I should be happy

Will: Oh, why did she go?

April: I only know that since he left my life's so empty (Will: Oh, oh). Though I try to forget it just can’t be done, each time the doorbell rings, I still run

April and Will: I don’t know how in the world

April: To stop thinking of him

Will: I should be happy.

April: Cause I still love him so, I end each day the way I start out (Will: I start and end each day crying). Crying my heart out

Will: One less bell to answer

April: One less egg to fry, one less man.

Will: One less bell to answer

April: One less egg to fry, one less man

Will: One less man

April: To pick up after

Will: No more

April: No more laughter

April and Will: No more love

April: Since he went away

Will: Since she went away

April lay down on the couch.

April: Since he went away, oooh

Will walked away and headed to his bed.

April: A chair is still a chair, Even when there’s no one sitting there. Well, I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home. When I climb the stair and turn the key Oh, please be there

April gets off the couch and heads to Will’s room and lays down.

Still in love with me.

Will: One less bell to answer

April: Each time the doorbell rings, I still run

Will: One less egg to fry

April: I’m lucky I’ve got one less man

Will: One less man

April: To pick up after

Will: No more

April: No more laughter

April and Will: No more love

April: Since he went away

Will: Since she went away

April: Since he went away

April and Will: All I do is cry

April: Good night, Will.

Will: Good night, April.

–—–——

The Hudson and Hummelstown were at Breadsticks, Kurt raised his glass up.

Kurt: A toast. Tonight is a momentous occasion. It marks the first real communion between the Hummel and the Hudson clans. I imagine that when the Bouviers and the Kennedys first broke bread there was a similar sense of joy and urgency. So let me raise my Shirley Temple to our new little family. (They clicked their glasses.)

Finn: We’re not a family.

Carole: Finn.

Burt: It’s cool. You’re right. Your mom and I are just enjoying each other's company right now. Let’s just enjoy dinner. I mean, I’m buying, right? [Chuckles] You playing basketball now?

Finn: Yeah. But I actually kinda like football better.

Carole: I didn’t know that.

Finn: Sounds crazy, but I miss getting hit.

Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Burt: No, it isn’t. I totally get that. I used to love the feeling of getting my clock cleaned and then popping right up. Kinda reminded me of being alive. Oh, yeah.

Kurt: Why hasn’t anyone commented on the new jeans I got Carole? (Carole: Oh, come on. Flustered) Notice that the waistband falls well below the belly button. A welcome change.

[Burt] Sure, Kurt. Hey, you know, I sell tires to one of the assistant coaches from the Browns. I can probably get you tickets, if you want to go.

Finn: That'd be awesome. I’ve never been to an N.F.L. Game live before.

Burt: Well, no problem.

Finn: Wow. For a place called Breadstix, these really suck.

That made Burt and Carole laugh. Burt: It’s really just stale bread, isn’t it?

—–—––

At the Hummel house, in the basement, Kurt was ripping off the color palates that Burt came downstairs.

Burt: Hey. You finally choose one?

Kurt: No. They’re all wrong.

Burt: Well, they all look like gray to me.

Kurt (brushes past his father): Maybe if they were different colored sports uniforms, you’d work harder to tell them apart.

Burt: I knew it. I knew when I started in on the football with Finn, you’d take it personal.

Kurt: How could I not, Dad? When was the last time you were that engaged in a conversation with me?

Burt: I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want here.

Kurt: What I want is for you to appreciate how hard it is for me to watch you bond with the son that you’ve obviously always wanted.

Burt: Oh, suddenly I’m not the guy who sat through Riverdance three years in a row? He kneeled beside Kurt who was so hurt. Burt: Look, Kurt, I love you and I am sympathetic to all of your stuff. But come on, buddy, we got a deal here, right? I don’t try to change you, you don’t try to change me. You are my son, and a little guy talk with some other kid isn’t gonna change that.

Kurt: Guy talk? I’m a guy.

Burt: Come on. You know what I mean.

Kurt: Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it is too soon for you to start getting serious with someone. He was getting upset.

Burt: Your mom's been dead eight years. You know that. (Burt goes to leave but turned around confused.) Burt: Why'd you fix me up with Carole? Wasn’t it to make me happy? Cause that’s what you told me.

Kurt: Can you go now? I’m a half an hour behind on my moisturizing routine and I need to get up early.

–—–——

At the roller rink, all Glee kids were on the floor, some were falling and some were doing tricks.

While April and Will were watching them, it wasn’t working so well.

Will: I don’t think this is gonna work out.

April: So, I’m thinking about closing up early. Want to order a pizza, maybe snuggle up, pop in a movie?

Will: I don’t think we should make a habit of spending the night together.

April: All we did was sleep.

Will: No. All you did was sleep. I was up all night with you kicking me.

April: Sorry. Them's the night terrors.

Will: Look, I’m in the middle of a divorce, and you are you really where you want to be? I mean, being somebody's mistress? Don’t you think you deserve a little bit more than that? You can be the life of the party every night and drink till you can’t see straight but you’re always going to feel empty inside until you really find a home. But, listen, if you need a place to stay tonight-

April (shaking her head): No. You’re right. You’re right. I am worth more than that. Tonight, I'm gonna go over to Buddy's and I’m gonna tell him we’re through. If he still had the powers of speech, I’m sure he’d be thankful. You know, RinkyDinks loses $8,000 a night. Turns out, roller rinks not so profitable. (They hug) You always give me the right advice, Mr. Schuester. See you around. [Clicks her tongue and walks away.]

––——–

Carole was looking in the mirror and was putting on earrings. But stopped when she saw Finn with a urn.

Carole: What are you doing?

Finn: I’m going to flush Dad's ashes down the toilet.

Carole chased him and took the urn form him. Carole: Have you lost your mind?

Finn: What? I’m just doing the same thing you’re doing to him. What’s the point of keeping his remains if you’re just gonna dump them out like an ashtray?

Carole: Fine.

Finn: What are you doing?

Carole: What you want. What we’ve been doing for the last 15 years-pretending. Come on, Finn, let’s sit and watch TV as a family. (she turns on TV) Look A basketball game. Your dad would've liked that. What do you think, Christopher?

Finn: Mom, you’re being crazy.

And you’re being selfish. I like Burt. I-I haven’t felt this way about a guy since your dad died. At least not one who felt it back.

Finn: This family works. (Then starts yelling) I don’t want it to get screwed up!

Carole: This family manages.We get by. You just don’t know any differently because you think what we have is normal. (She starts crying) I do this with him every night. I take the urn to bed with me, and I talk to him about my day.

Sixteen years, I’ve been asking him for advice and waiting to hear his laugh and for him to tell me that he loves me. And he never does. And he never will.

I won’t do it. I’m not moving. I’m not ready. And he wouldn’t eant you to do this if I wasn’t ready.

Carole (still tearfully): You didn’t know him, Finn. Sweetheart, I love you so much. We don’t need any more memories or ghosts. We need a family, a home. She kissed his cheek.

–—–———

Finn entered the kitchen but didn’t expect to see Burt.

Finn: What are you doing here? Did you already move in?

Burt: No, your mom invited me. She thought you and I could have a man-to-man.

Finn: Good, 'cause I got a lot to say.

I don’t, so let me go first. You’re pissed. I get it. Your dad is a hero not only to the world for what he did in Desert Storm but he’s a hero to you. No way I can fill his shoes.

It’s just, you know- I love your mom. She’s like this angel that came down to wake me up after all these years and I swear to you I will never hurt her. I will always take care of her. I can’t be your dad, but I will be her hero for as long as she’ll take me. All right, I’ve said my piece. What do you want to say?

Finn actually didn’t want him to see his mom but now he doesn’t know what to do with it. But can think of one thing.

Finn: Just wanted to know if you wanted to watch a game.

Burt: Sure.

Before Burt could sit down on the couch, Finn stopped him.

Finn: Hold up. You can sit here if you want. He took the urn and put it on the end table. Finn looked at him fitting perfectly on the recliner.

Finn turns on the TV which it was on the game as the Crowd Cheering.

Burt: You know, I hate Duke like I hate the Nazis.

Burt opens the pop and took a sip.

Finn (Sighs): Tell me about it.

Burt: This team, every year, they recruit these guys and they don’t know that the, uh, entire college is basically built on tobacco-

What they didn’t know was that Kurt was watching them, a bit tearfully.

#transcript #glee

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Home (School Sets)

In preparation for an interview with Splits Magazine, Sue had her two new cheearleaders in her office.

Sue: Ladies, what we have here is a grade-A dilemma. Mercedes, your vocal cords have had more fantastic runs than a Kenyan track team but that look simply will not do. At first I thought it was a subtle homage to yours truly but now I fear it’s some sort of ironic comment.

Mercedes: Ms. Sylvester, I’m just not comfortable in those Cheerios skirts. They don’t fit me right.

Kurt: Mercedes, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about your body.

Mercedes: Embarrassed? No, no. I’m worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.

The two best friends laugh and twirled their fingers.

Sue: How do you two not have a show on Bravo? Here’s the skinny. Splits magazine, after much campaigning by one Sue Sylvester has named me cheerleading coach of the last 2,000 years. In seven days reporter Tracy Pendergrass will arrive on campus and my new star singer will have lost 10 pounds and be in a gender-appropriate cheerleading uniform or she is off the team.

Kurt (shock): Ten pounds? Are you serious?

Sue: You could lose a few too, kiddo. You got hips like a pear. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio secretary of state notifying them I will no longer be carrying photo I.D. You know why? People should know who I am.

(TITLE CARD)

–—–—

In the Staff lunch room, Will approach the coach quite angry.

Will: Sue! We need to talk. The auditorium is padlocked!

Sue: Well, that’s curious. Did you check the sign-up sheet?

Will: What sign-up sheet?

Sue: Why, the one I keep right here in my waistband, William. Let’s see. Yeah, I’ve got the entire week booked solid. Got a big magazine feature coming up and it’s a little chilly for my girls to be practicing outdoors.

Will: Yeah? Well, let’s see what Figgins has to say about this.

Sue: Oh, I’m sure Figgins will just mumble something nervously and then pretend to take a call. I happen to be blackmailing him.

—–—–

In the choir room, Will sat on a stool in front of the kids.

Will: Um, all right, I have one final announcement before we all leave. We can't use the auditorium for the next week.

Finn: But that’s garbage. How are we supposed to practice for regionals without the auditorium?

Will: The Cheerios need it to practice in. There’s nothing I can do.

Rachel: I recommend a sit-in.

Puck: I recommend we torch the place. That got half of the members to smile.

Will: No. Look, we’ve all faced adversity before and come out stronger on the other end. I’m gonna check out a few off-site locations for us to use just for the week. I promise I’ll find us a new home.

The school rang and everyone got out their seats. But Kurt approached Finn.

Kurt: Oh, Finn! I wanted your opinion on this. It’s a swatch board. I’m redecorating my bedroom. Kind of going for a hunting lodge meets Tom Ford's place in Bel Air. I was hoping you could help me out with the hunting lodge part.

Finn: I live in a closet. There’s cowboy wallpaper on the walls.

Kurt: Oh.

Finn (points to a mix of blue and hey sheet.): But I guess that one's nice.

Kurt: Toile? I always pegged you as a chinoisserie type.

Finn walked away from him but Kurt smirked.

–—–—

In the cafeteria, Kurt watched Mercedes getting her food.

Kurt: Mercedes.

Mercedes: This is healthy. Chicken breast and a salad, dressing on the side.

Kurt: You have a week to lose 10 pounds. It’s like having to lose one of my butt cheeks. Look at what I’m eating. Peeled celery and for breakfast I had Splenda. Look, Mercedes, now that we’re cheerleaders, we’re finally part of the in crowd. We have a place at the table. We don’t have to beg underneath for scraps of attention. (Sighs): Don’t screw it up. (Walking away.)

Brittany: I’m pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary.

Mercedes (approaching the cheerleaders): Hey, guys. Can I ask you something? How do you manage to stay so skinny?

Santana and Brittany grabbed their water bottles.

Santana: The Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse.

(Sue: Water, maple syrup for glucose, lemon for acid, cayenne pepper- irritate the bowels and a dash of ipecac- a vomiting agent. I haven’t had a solid meal since 1987.)

Brittany: Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand.

Mercedes: That can’t be healthy.

Santana: Who cares? You can either feel terrible and look great or get kicked off the team when that reporter gets here.

Mercedes left her lunch but a blonde was watching the whole thing.

–——–—

In Sue's office...

Becky: I lost two pounds, Coach.

Sue: Well, Becky, you are assimilating beautifully. Instead of being different and an outcast you’re just like every other teenage girl in America sadly obsessed with vanity. Before you know it you’ll be leaving baggies of upchuck in your parents'linen closet. Congrats. I’m proud of you, kid.

Becky: Thanks, Coach.

Sue: You betcha. Next!

Mercedes stepped up next.

Sue: Hey, you’re still in your track uniform.

Mercedes: Yep, and I’m ready for my midweek weigh-in. I’ve been eating very well and walking everywhere and-

Sue cut in: Well, climb aboard. Let’s see how many "libbies" you lost. (She did just that) Well, look at that, Mercedes. You gained two pounds.

Mercedes (shocked): What? That's impossible!

Sue: Look, I’m gonna break it down for you. You have four days to lose the weight, get yourself in a uniform, or you’re out.

Mercedes: What am I gonna do?

Sue: Well, you might try dropping the attitude. I’m sure there’s a pound or two in that. You know, with the Cheerios we have only one lesson, and it’s a very simple lesson. You do whatever it takes.

Mercedes frowned and stepped off the scale. The School Bell Rings. Sue: Next!

–—–—–

Finn walked well ran to Kurt.

Finn: Kurt! Hey! What the hell's going on with our parents? When did they even meet each other?

Kurt: Parent-teacher conference night, about a month ago.

Kurt (Voiceover:) I always accompany my father to those conferences to act as translator.

Burt picked up a cookie but Kurt slapped it out of his hand. Burt: How do you know this is not organic?

Kurt: Because you can see the logo. It’s encrusted in the cookie.

Kurt (voiceover:) Fate brought them together.

Kurt lead Burt when Carole led into the classroom. Kurt: Dad! Meet Carole Hudson. Ms. Hudson, my father, Burt Hummel. You both have dead spouses. Maybe you should talk.

Burt: I was just saying to a friend that acid wash should make a comeback.

He was referring to her jacket. Carole: Oh. Really and who said it ever left?

Kurt (voiceover:) It was an instant connection.

Finn: That’s impossible.

Kurt: Nothing is impossible when it comes to love. Haven’t you noticed anything different about your mom? New clothes, new makeup, a haircut that doesn’t look like it was styled by the Amish. Who do you think "Pretty Woman"-ed her up? Has she started selling the furniture yet?

Finn: Yeah, yeah. She got rid of her old bedroom set and she tried to sell my dad's chair, but I stopped her. How do you even know that?

Kurt: People our parents' age don’t wait around for love to bloom. They know what they want. You and I will be roommates, with Mom and Dad cohabitating upstairs by midterms.

Finn (shook his head) : No way.

Kurt: Give in to the inevitable, Finn. I want us to decide how to redecorate our room together. That’s why I asked you about the swatches. And don’t sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

Finn: Look, screw y-your swatches and your-your "chez."

Kurt: Chaise.

Finn: Whatever! I like my house, I’m not moving, and she’s not selling that damn chair!

–—–——–

In the choir room, Will told everyone where they were going to practice.

Tina: A roller rink?

Santana: Weren’t those outlawed in, like, 1981 for being totally lame?

Will: Come on, guys. Where’s your sense of adventure? The space is great and April is giving it to us to practice in for free.

Kurt (raising his hand): Mr. Schue? If I may? The New Directions is clearly a club with a dearth of direction. Rachel and Jesse refuse to accept that all of us would rather die before we allow them to become the next Beyonce and Jay-Z and Finn's mother's romance with my father is sending him into a wholly unnecessary tailspin of despair. (Hands papers to Will that he gives out.) What we all need right now is to explore the idea of a sense of place and how if we find that place within we will get that happy ending.

Kurt looked to the piano player. Kurt: Brad, B flat.

Kurt: A chair is still a chair, even when there’s no one sitting there. But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home. When there’s no one there to hold you tight and no one there, you can kiss good night.

A room is still a room, even when there's nothing there but gloom. But a room is not a house and a house is not a home. When the two of us are far apart and one of us has a broken heart

(Finn at home was sitting in front of his dad's chair. Finn: Now and then I call your name and suddenly your face appears. But it's just a crazy game and when it end it ends in tears.)

Kurt: So darling have a heart, Don’t let one mistake keep us apart. I’m not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home. When I climb the stair and turn the key. Oh, please be there still in love with me.

Kurt looked away from the group.

–—–——

In the cafeteria, Mercedes was frustrated to no end. Tina: Do you want half of my peppermint patty?

Mercedes: No. I don’t put junk in my body.

Artie: Why are you doing this? We like you no matter how you look.

Tina: And those shake diets are really unhealthy.

Artie: They also don’t really work. As soon as you go off them, you gain back the weight you lost.

Mercedes slammed her hands on the lunch table. Mercedes: You know what? I don’t want to hear it! You have no idea how much I’m sacrificing to be a Cheerio, to look fantastic to finally fit in at this school.

Mercedes then started to imagine her friends as food.

Tina: We were just trying to look out for you. She was ice cream.

Artie: We just want you to be healthy. He was a piece of pie.

Mercedes: Stop getting all up in my face, telling me what I can and cannot do and I’m really hungry, so stop trying to get me to eat you!

Artie: Hold up. Did she just say she wanted to eat us?

Mercedes walked away but saw Rachel and Jesse.

Rachel: The point is that Fanny Brice is the most iconic role... Rachel was a cupcake and Jesse was a burger.

Mercedes: Aw, damn. Then she fainted.

––—–—

School Nurse: Hmm. Your blood pressure's low. Maybe that’s why you fainted. Your mom will be here soon. I’ll go and get you some ginger ale.

When she left, Quinn was there and approached the girl. Mercedes: Thanks. I’m not hungry.

Quinn: Yes, you are. You’re starving. I know. I’ve been there. Did all the other kids start looking like food right before you fainted?

Mercedes (a bit shocked): Yeah. How'd you know?

Quinn: Been there. Eat the granola bar.

Mercedes took the bar. Mercedes: Why are you being so nice to me? I can’t remember the last time you said two words to me that weren't "you" and "suck."

Quinn: Cause I was you- scared. Hating myself for eating a cookie. But I got over it.

Mercedes: Yeah, of course you did, Miss Pretty Blonde With the White Girl Ass.

Quinn: When you start eating for somebody else... so that they can grow and be healthy your relationship to food changes. What I realized is that if I’m so willing to eat right to take care of this baby why am I not willing to do it for myself? You are so lucky. You’ve always been at home in your body. Don’t let Ms. Sylvester take that away from you.

Mercedes begins to tear up. Mercedes: I’m so embarrassed. This isn’t me. How did I become this person?

Quinn: You are beautiful. You know that. I’m gonna stay here with you until your mom comes, okay?

–—–—––

Kurt approached Finn at his locker.

Kurt: Finn, we need to talk. (Finn looks to him.) We have to break up our parents immediately. I screwed up. I feel like the guy who set up Liza and David Gest.

Finn: It hurt you, didn’t it? When I was talking sports with your dad and stuff. I could tell that you were-

Kurt: Left out? Invisible?

Finn: Yeah. I don’t like that my mom's forgetting about my dad. It’s up to me to keep his memory alive and I don’t want to move in with you. No offense.

Kurt: None taken. So we put an end to them. Agreed?

Finn: Agreed.

–—–—––

In the gymnasium, it was time for the pep rally. Sue approached the journalist from Splits Magazine and sat down beside him.

Sue: Well, with a name like Tracy, I assumed you were a lady.

Tracy: Quite a turnout for a pep rally.

Sue: On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated leaving the gymnasium the only place with breathable air. (Tracy didn’t laugh or chuckled) Come on. That was clever. You might want to start writing down my little bon mots. I’m gonna be dropping some beauties on you.

Tracy: You know, this is just a freelance job. I was short-listed for the Pulitzer last year for my Newsweek piece on high school athletes going pro.

Sue: So my cover story isn’t a fluff piece?

Tracy: Nope. Hard-hitting investigation.

The Cheerios came out with the crowd cheering so loud, Kurt waved to the crowd but mostly to his friends.

Sue: Feast your ears on this smokin' intro. In a few seconds, so important to build the tension.

Mercedes came out but Kurt was so confused so he looked to Brittany. Kurt: What is she doing? Brittany just shrugged.

Mercedes took hold of the microphone and spoke into it. Mercedes: Hey, guys. I’m Mercedes Jones. (Exhales) So most of you know Cheerios is about perfection and winning looking hot and being popular.

Sue: Still building the tension.

Mercedes: Well, I think that it should be about something different. How many of you at this school feel fat? (Some people raised their hands like Quinn was one of them.) How many of you feel like maybe you’re not worth very much? Or you’re ugly, or you have too many pimples and not enough friends? (Some more people raised their hands like Jesse, Tina and Artie) Well, I felt all those things about myself at one time or another. Hell, I felt most of those things about myself today and that just ain’t right. And we’ve got something to say about it and if you like what we have to say come down here and sing it with us.

Mercedes: Ooooooooh yeah, yeah, oh, oh, oh, yeah, every day is so wonderful and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. Now and then I get insecure from all the pain, I’m so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down. I am beautiful in every single way, yes, words can’t bring me down, oh no So, don’t you bring me down today

The cheerios turned around and joined in with the singing.

WMHS Students: No matter what we do

Mercedes and WMHS Students: No matter what we do

WMHS Students: No matter what we say

Mercedes and WMHS Students: No matter what we say

WMHS Students: We’re the song that's outta tune Full of beautiful mistakes

Mercedes: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah

WMHS Students: And everywhere we go

Mercedes: And everywhere we go

WMHS Students: The sun will always shine (Mercedes: The sun will always, always shine) But tomorrow we might awake over on the other side

Mercedes and WMHS Students: Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say. Yes, words won't bring us down (Mercedes: Oh, no, oh, oh, oh) We are beautiful in every single way Yes, words can’t bring us down (Mercedes: Oh, oh, oh)

Mercedes: So don’t you bring me down today oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Don’t you bring me down today

Everyone applauded so loud and cheered loudly as well.

Tracy: We can finish this interview in your office tomorrow.

Kurt approached her and touched her shoulder. Kurt: Thank you. I was wrong. The two hugged.

–—––—–

Sue entered her office with Tracy already there. Sue: Mr. Pendergrass, let me explain.

Tracy: Just have a seat.

Sue: Oh. Not used to taking orders in my own office. She sat down on her chair.

Tracy: Sue, when I met you I instantly disliked you. You’re bossy, insulting, and the fact that twice you called me Rerun makes me think you’re a little racist. I came here to write a piece that would expose you as a coward and a cheat. I could not have been more wrong.

Sue: Beg your pardon?

Tracy: You got every shape and size Cheerio up there singing about empowerment and inclusion telling everyone it’s okay to be exactly the person you are. You’re a visionary, and I think redefining cheerleading. Bravo.

Sue: Well, thank you, uh, Mr. Pendergrass. I can’t say I’m surprised. Um, you know, I work so hard to get my girls feeling good about themselves because it’s what's inside that counts.

Tracy: It’s an honor, Coach. (He stood up and shook her hand.) When this hits the stands, it could mean big things for you.

Once he left, Sue was relieved.

—––——

April and Will were in the choir room, Will was shocked by what he was hearing.

Will: I don’t know what to say.

April: Just say congratulations. I took your advice. I went home, I told Buddy that if he wanted to keep me around he had to ditch the old lady and give yours truly the top job and then he died. (Laughs) One of his eyes went all funny and he had a stroke right in front of me.

Will: Geez, April, are you okay?

April: Okay? I’m rich! The ol' battle-ax was afraid I’d go to the Lima Times so she shut me up to the tune of $2 million.

They both laughed. Will: What?

April: So I’m sobering up and I’m heading to the Broadway, Will. I haven’t had a drink in 45 minutes. I’m going to take my hush money and I’m going to mount the first-ever all-white production of The Wiz.

Will: Okay. [Chuckles]

April: I’ve got you to thank.

All the glee members came into the room.

Rachel eagerly smiled: Did you tell him yet?

Will: Tell me what?

April: That I bought y'all the auditorium.

They applause and cheers for her. Will: What?

April: I wrote ol' Figgins a check this morning. It’s now called the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion.

Will: I- I don’t know what to say.

Rcahel: We’ve got that covered.

That leads them to auditorium for a performance from the musical.

April (New Directions): When I think of home, I think of a place, where there’s love overflowing. I wish I was home, I wish I was back there with the things I’ve been knowing. Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning, suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning. Sprinkling the scene makes it all clean.

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back, now that I have some direction. It sure would be nice to be back home, where there's love and affection. Then just maybe I can convince time to slow up. Giving me enough time in my life to grow up, time be my friend (Let me start again) let me start again.

Living here in this brand new realm (Brand new realm) might be a fantasy, ohh (Fantasy, ohh). But it taught me to love, so it’s real, real, real to me. And I’ve learned we must look, look inside our hearts to find. Yeah, a world full of love (World full of love) Like yours, like mine (Like mine)

April with New Directions: Like home! Home!

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Mash Up (Football + Will Sets)

Emma and Ken approach Will in the teachers' lounge.

Will: Hey, guys.

Ken: We need to talk.

Will: Okay.

Ken: As you know, even though she refuses to wear the ring and won’t tell anyone including her mother... about the engagement, Emma and I are, in fact, getting married.

Emma: Yes. Ken convinced me we need to at least be in the same room when the marriage is certified.

Ken: What can I say? I’m a traditionalist. We’re going to Hawaii and getting married on the beach.

Will: And you want me to come?

Emma: No, no, no, no. I picked Hawaii, because it’s far away from everybody we know.

Will realized. Will: Oh.

Emma: Uh, the thing is-is that after a very brief, private ceremony Ken has decided he would like to have a first dance.

Ken: The problem is, we can’t decide on the song.

Emma: Yes. I would like to have “I Could’ve Danced All Night”.

Will: Oh, from My Fair Lady. (Emma smiles) Great choice. Such a romantic song.

Emma: Yes.

Ken: Yeah, if you’re making a mixed tape for the boring parade. I want the “Thong Song”. (Will was stunned) I need something I can shake my moneymaker to.

Emma: Um. Uh, I was remembering, um, that you did those, uh mash-up things with the Glee kids, right? (Will: Uh-huh.) So I thought maybe you could find a way to use both of our songs. Um, and I... well, we both need/want/need dance lessons.

Ken: Yeah, l-l...I mean, I might need a bit of polishing but it's the Emster here you really have to work with. Had a monster case of athlete's foot a couple years back. Had to get all my toenails removed. So if she steps on my feet during the dance, I might pass out.

Emma: We would, uh, be very happy to pay you for your time, Will.

Will: No. No, I want to give you these lessons as a wedding gift. Sound good?

Emma + Ken: Hmm!

——–

Finn and Quinn visit Emma and ask her for advice.

Emma: So, how can I, uh... how can I help you kids? Is it, uh, too many friends on MySpace, or...

Quinn: I can’t believe we’re saying this but we need some advice on how to be cool.

Finn: Yeah, you must have picked up some ideas about what cool people do from watching them over the years. (Noticing the look from Emma) Not that you were never cool yourself.

Emma: Yeah... Eh... Well, um.. But, um, you’re two of the most popular kids in school.

Quinn: We were until we joined Glee Club. That’s why he got a Slushee facial. I’m sure of it.

Emma: Okay. I see. Um, don’t really have any pamphlets on how to be popular. Uh, okay, right. Well, let’s talk about this. Why is it so important for you to be cool? Huh? Don’t you like being in Glee? It’s fun.

Quinn: Status is like currency. When your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything. But right now, we’re like toxic assets. When my mom applied to college she put being popular as her main extracurricular activity. And she got into Arizona State.

But while Quinn was talking, Emma, however, gets distracted by Will passing by wearing sunglasses.

Emma (whispering): Sunglasses are so sexy. (Then out loud) Sunglasses. Yeah, sunglasses are, um, really, really cool. I’m always seeing celebrities wear them in magazines, even at night. Doesn’t need to be day. Very popular. Gives you a sense of mystery. You know rappers.

Finn (smiling big): Totally. You can’t see their eyes, so they have all the power. (Emma: Mmm!) I could be looking at your boobs, and you’d have no idea.

That earned him a hit from Quinn on his arm.

Emma: No. Um, no. Kids, look. The most important thing is that you be yourselves. Okay, and if people don’t like you for that, then I’m sorry, but who needs 'em.

——–

Emma visits Will after school in one of the classroom in a wedding dress with puffy shoulders and a long train.

Will: Hi.

Emma: Hi. Hmm. This is my Cousin Betty's. We were obsessed with Princess Di's dress when we were little girls so, um, when she got married she insisted on having this, uh this long train.

Which it definitely was a long train.

Will: Is there a reason you... have it on now?

Emma: Yes, yes.

Will: Okay. He waited for the explanation.

Emma: Yeah. Um, she didn’t wear it to her dance rehearsals and the night of the wedding her husband kept stepping on the train. It was really bad. Their fight was epic. (Will: Ooh.) The priest cried. They were divorced three months later. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t wear it.

Emma went to leave but Will stopped her.

Will: No, no, no, no, no! It’s all good. It’s all good. We’ll, uh... We’ll see how you move in it. Right?

Emma: Okay.

Will: Okay. Um, so first, uh, let’s do Ken's selection and then, uh, we’ll work in your song for the big finish. Okay.

Will: All right? Hey, Emma I’m really excited about this.

Emma was enchanted by the man who went to play the Thong song.

Emma: Fantastic. It’s... so, so exciting.

Will turns on Thong Song and begins to dance provocatively around Emma. The performance ends when Will accidentally trips and Emma falls on top of him.

Emma: Good God! Are you okay?

Will: I’m okay. Are you?

Emma: Oh, yes!

The two chuckled.

Emma: It’s the darn "Thong Song."

Will laughs: I don’t think it’s the song. I think you need a new dress.

Will: Come on. Upsy-daisy.

Emma: Oh, I’m stuck.

The two doesn’t know that Ken was spying on them from outside the classroom.

—–—

At football practice Finn was running practice.

Finn: Let’s try, uh, reverse chair on two.

Azimio: Let’s not.

Finn: Hey, Azimio, I’m the quarterback. I call the plays.

Azimio: Some of the guys was talking, and we’re starting to question your leadership ability.

Football guy: Yeah, like maybe you’re having trouble making good choices as in, for instance, choosing to join homo explosion.

Finn: Do I need to remind you that Glee Club helped us win our first game of the season?

Azimio: What have you done for me lately?

Football guy: Yeah, we’re taking a bunch of heat, because you like kissing dudes all of a sudden. You’re not being a team player, man.

Azimio: Can’t believe you was man enough to knock up Quinn Fabray. You sure a real man didn’t sneak in there and do it for you?

Finn (snapped): That’s it!

Finn tackled Azimio to the ground and begins to fight. Ken comes in and breaks up the fighting and holds a team meeting.

Ken: Okay, break it up! Get up!

Football players: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

Ken separated them up. Ken: Hey, calm down, everybody! On the sidelines and take a knee! Now!

They all took a knee on the sidelines. Ken: What if you had broken Finn’s arm, huh? We'd be worse off and more pathetic than we already are. Where’s Puckerman?

Finn: Uh, he said he had to miss practice today. He’s working on something for Glee Club.

Azimio: Is he working on his coming-out-of-the-closet speech or something? (Finn pushed him but Matt got in the middle of it. Azimio pushes him back) Hey, man! Don’t push me, man!

Ken: Okay, enough! Football is war and no one single man can win that war, not even if they strap nukes on him. I want you to start acting like a team again! When we won that one game, it wasn’t because we were dancing. It’s because we were of singular purpose. I want you to start hanging more, spend more time together. Which is why, starting next week I’m adding extra practice on Thursdays at 3:30.

Finn: But, Coach, that’s when Glee rehearses.

Ken: You know what? I have had it up to here with Schuester and Glee. Here’s the story, Quarterback and you tell Puckerman this when you see him. That practice is mandatory. No exceptions. So you’re going to have to choose what’s more important to you... football or Glee Club.

—–—

Finn and Quinn are walking down the hallway in sunglasses.

Finn: Huh! You know, I really think this is working. I think we look super cool.

Quinn: I’m proud of you, Finn. I’m proud of us.

Finn: Yeah. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be popular. It just means you want people to like you. I think that’s healthy.

Quinn: I totally agree.

Finn: Being popular just means you can have it all.

But Quinn and Finn were ambushed by the football team with slushies in hand.

Finn: Oh, hey, guys.

Azimio: You thirsty?

Finn: Sure. Thanks. (The football team and non team members threw slushies in Finn and Quinn’s faces.) You can’t do this!

Azimio: Oh, you think that’s bad? Just imagine what’s gonna happen if you don’t show up to practice on Thursday and quit that little Glee Club for good! Bros before hi-hos, dude. Don’t forget that.

—–——

Sue and Will perform a swing dance routine to Sing, Sing, Sing (With a Swing) in the choir room.

Will: Sue... Whoo! That was amazing. Oh! You know, I have to admit at first when you suggested that I teach you a few steps. I was hesitant. You know, cause how horrible you were to me and the Glee kids when Figgins made you co director.

Sue: Well, live and let learn, my friend. That is ultimately what I got to. It’s nice not being at each other's throats. You know, you’re right. I, Oh, gosh. I don’t know how else to say this, but I’m in love.

Will: Really?

Sue: After one date, Sue Sylvester is in love. Rod has invited me to the Second Annual Allen County Sickle-cell Anemia Dance-a-thon.

Will: Ooh.

Sue: With your tutelage, Will, we can take home that blue ribbon like two prize heifers in love.

Will: I was wondering why you asked for dance lessons.

Sue: Oh, well, Erma just raved about you.

Will: Sue, I’m, I’m actually touched. I mean, you seem so happy and... nice. And you’ve been so cool with Quinn Fabray and her, you know, situation.

Sue: Mmm, yeah, well, she’s just a confused kid and the least I can offer her is my compassion. But, you, mister... (Will chuckled.) The Sue Sylvester who has been obsessed with sabotaging your every move is now just a distant memory.

Will: That’s great, Sue.

Sue: Now all I feel for you is sympathy. Whether it be for your sham of a marriage or the fact that Coach Tanaka's finally laying down the law with regard to Glee Club.

Will (shocked): Wait. What?

Sue: Yeah. Tanaka-san's making the kids choose. Come on. Let’s be honest. What kid's gonna choose Glee Club over football? It’d be ridiculous.

—–—–

Will confronts Ken in the boys' locker room about this decision.

Will: Hey, Ken, you wanna tell me what the hell's goin' on? You know I had a standing Glee rehearsal on Thursday. We sat down and worked out a schedule when some of your guys joined the club.

Ken: Circumstances have changed. I have a serious morale issue with my team. It’s my responsibility to fix it. Sorry if me doing my job interferes with your club.

Will: Ken, we’ve known each other for years. Your commitment to football is about as long as your pants. You know, let’s get into what this is really about. You’re upset that I don’t like your song for your wedding mash-up and you’re right. It’s not my place to have an opinion.

Ken: Why don’t you just cut the crap, Will? You’re not that naive. This is not about a song. It’s about my fiance. You and I, the whole world, knows that I’m just a consolation prize to you. How do you think that makes me feel? Emma's totally into you. Emma is settling for me and I love her so much, I don’t care. But it doesn’t mean I appreciate you coming in with your Gene Kelly charm and gettin' high off of her fawning over you.

Will: I-I have never intentionally encouraged Emma. But I haven’t discouraged her either. You don’t have to worry about it anymore though. So, are we cool, and I’ll have my guys on Thursday again? 3:30?

Ken: So you keep your rehearsal. I’ll keep my practice. We’ll let the kids decide who’s first choice and who’s a consolation prize.

—–———

Will and Emma are at a bridal shop where Emma is trying on a new wedding dress that she feels will be easier to dance in.

Will: Are you ready yet? We’ve only got an hour for lunch, Emma.

Emma: It’s not like trying on a pair of jeans, Will.

Will: Well, it doesn't have to be perfect. We just have to see if you can dance in it.

Emma came out wearing a dress that could be a grace Kelly dress. Emma: Fits okay?

Will (amused): Yeah. Fits great.

Emma: Terrific. (Looking at her reflection.)

Will: Yeah, terrific. (Will thought she looked more then just terrific.) Uh, so, should we see if you can dance in it?

Emma: Okay.

Will: This is the instrumental version of your wedding song. You can sing along if you want to. It’ll help your footwork.

Will took Emma in his arms and started to dance.

Emma: I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night and still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I’ve never done before. I’ll never know what made it so exciting, why all at once my heart took flight. I only know when he began to dance with me I could have danced danced danced, all night...

The ending was Will holding Emma tilted backwards, Emma's feelings for Will are evidently clear, and are reinforced when the music stops and she is left standing.

Will: Yeah, you can dance in it. (He let Emma up who was gasping like she was love.) So, I gotta get goin' . Um, got the big showdown today at 3:30. and, uh I wanna make sure I’m there to support the kids, no matter what happens.

Emma (confused) : Wait, what showdown? I thought... I thought you and Sue had that last week.

Will: Eh... Between me and your fiance. Uh, Ken's told all the football players in Glee that they have to choose between the club and the team. Unless all the guys choose Glee, it looks like we won’t have enough members for sectionals.

Emma: Then Glee is over.

Will: I know. Wish me luck.

—–—–

Out on the field, Finn was in his uniform and everyone congratulate him.

#1: Hey, fella.

Finn: Hey, man.

#2: You made the right decision.

#3: What’s up, dude?

Finn looked at coach Tanaka.

Ken: Okay, let’s huddle up.

—–—–—

Will approached Finn on the field.

Will: Hey, Finn, wanna have a catch?

Finn: Sure.

Will: Go long.

The two passed the ball back and forth. Finn: I’m not coming back.

These are the moments, Finn. They’re the crossroads. They’re the ones you look back at when you get old and think "what if?"

Finn: I don’t buy that. I don’t think any one decision makes your life unless you accidentally invent some kind of zombie virus or something.

Will: No. You’re right. Life's a series of choices. Big combination of moments little ones that add up to big ones that create who you are. You’re lettin' other people make those choices for you, Finn. You’re letting them decide who you’re gonna be. (Will goes up to Finn.) People you’re not even gonna know in three years. People whose names you’re gonna forget when you run into them in the hardware store.

Finn: You don’t understand the kind of pressure I’m under.

Will: Yes, I do. Because of all the students I’ve ever had, you remind me the most of me. Come back to Glee, Finn. It’s where you belong.

—–———

Finn goes to meet Ken in the locker room.

Finn: Hey, Coach. Can I talk to you about something?

Ken: You got an itch down there or something?

Finn: What? No. Uh, I’m the quarterback, right? The leader.

Ken: Sure.

Finn: Well, all this stuff about having to choose between Glee and football is making it hard for me to lead. Leaders are supposed to see things that other guys don’t. Right? Like they can imagine a future where things are better. Like Thomas Jefferson or that kid from the Terminator movies. (Finn sits down in front of coach.) I see a future where it’s cool to be in Glee Club. Where you can play football and sing and dance and no one gets down on you for it. Where the more different you are the better.

I guess what I’m tryin' to say is I don’t wanna have to choose between them anymore. It’s not cool.

Ken(gets up and walks to the whiteboard.): Hey, about that Thursday practice. It’s, uh, canceled indefinitely. I got... stuff I gotta do that time. Laundry, things like that.

Finn (smiles): Oh. Sweet.

Ken: Finn. (He faces the adult.) Tell Puckerman and the other guys too, will you?

Finn: Sure. Thanks, Coach.

—––—–

Will was drinking it of a fountain until he heard.

Sue: Schuester!

Will: Yeah?

Sue: I’ll need to see that set list for sectionals after all. I want it on my desk warm from the laminator at 5:00 p.m and if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night I will steal a way into your home and punch you in the face. (She begins to walk away.)

Will: Hey Sue.

Sure: What?

Will: Didn’t work out with Rod?

Sue: No, it did not. (Sue walked away from Will and came across Quinn.) Q, take off those sunglasses. I wanna look in your eyes when I give you this piece of business.(Quinn took them offm) You’re off the Cheerios. I can’t have a pregnant girl on my squad. You’re a disgrace.

Quinn begins to cry.

–—–—–

Will visits Emma in her office.

Will: Hey.

Emma: Hey.

Will: I wanted to talk to you about your wedding mash-up. I’ve been working really hard on it and I just can't get those two songs to go together.

Emma: Yeah. That’s because they don’t. We both know that. They’re both good songs though.

Will: Great ones. He goes to leave but Emma stops him.

Emma: Will, um, I just wanted to say, uh thank you for the dance lessons.

#transcript #glee

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Mash Up (Glee + Puckleberry Sets)

The episode begins with several Glee Club members being threatened with a slushie. First to Tina who flinched away, Mercedes who screamed it.

Mercedes: My weave!

Then to Rachel at her locker who flinched with closing her eyes. But the person walked away from her and got Finn right in the face. Finn snapped and stopped Dave Karofsky.

Finn: What the hell, Karofsky!

Dave: Oh, I’ve wanted to do that ever since fifth grade when you made fun of me for getting pubes. Now that you’ve joined Lullaby Lee's and insperminated the queen of the Chastity Ball and dropped below us hockey dudes on the food chain? It’s open season.

Quinn (angrily): Screw you, Karofsky! You and your Neanderthal puck-heads are nothing!

Finn shove Dave back but Dave did the same.

Finn: You’re gonna pay for this, dude!

Dave: No, I’m not. You two don’t have the juice anymore. Welcome to the new world order.

Dave then leaves them alone.

——–

In the choir room, Quinn was cleaning Finn’s face.

Quinn: This is a disaster. Our reputation as McKinley High's "it" couple is in serious jeopardy if we don’t find some way to be cool again, Finn.

Some glee kids were watching the two interact.

Kurt: The Slushee war has commenced.

Mercedes: And if Finn and Quinn got nailed, none of us are safe.

Will enters the room.

Will: Okay, guys. We’re a little behind for sectionals thanks to our Sue Sylvester detour. But you guys seem to really enjoy doing mash-ups, right? And I’m gonna keep you guys fired up. Plus, there’s an important lesson to be learned with mash-ups. Sometimes things are so different, they don’t feel like they go together.

Finn: Or Glee Club and football.

Will: Exactly. But you’ve proven that it is a great combination. (Hands out music sheets) So here is my personal favorite song. And your homework for the week is to find an unexpected mash-up to go with it.

Kurt: “Bust a Move”?

Mercedes: Yeah, this song is old school.

Will: All right. Um, Artie.

Artie (quietly): Yeah?

Try to follow along on the bass. Finn, take us through it.

Finn: Uh, I’m sorry, Mr. Schuester. I got corn syrup in my eye.

Will: Okay. Uh, Puck. How about it? Looking at the mohawk boy.

Puck: I don’t really groove on Young MC.

Rachel: I am shocked at the lack of leading-man ambition in this room right now.

Will (takes off his dress shirt): It’s okay, Rachel. I guess I’m gonna have to show these guys how it’s one.

The members got excited.

Will: Bust it!

Will: This here's a tale for all the fellas, tryin' to do what those ladies tell us. Get shot down 'cause you’re over zealous, play hard to get, females get jealous. Okay smartie, go to a party girls are scantily clad and showin' body. A chick walks by, you wish you could sex her but you’re standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter. Your movie's showin', so you’re going, ould care less about the five you’re blowin' (Uh). Theater gets dark just to start the show and then you spot a fine woman sittin' in your row (Uh). She’s dressed in yellow, she says Hello come sit next to me, you fine fellow (Uh) You run over there without a second to lose and what comes next, hey bust a move.

Quinn, Tina and Mercedes with New Directions Girls: If you want it, you got it, Uh If you want it, baby, you got it

Will with Artie and New Directions Boys: Just bust a move!

Quinn, Tina and Mercedes with New Directions Girls: If you want it, you got it, Uh, if you want it, baby, you got it, Uh.

Will (New Direction Boys): Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry in five days from now he’s gonna marry. He’s hopin' you can make it there if you can cause in the ceremony you’ll be the best man. You say "neato," check your libido and roll to the church in your new tuxedo, the bride walks down just to start the wedding. And there’s one more girl you won’t be getting So you start thinkin', then you start blinkin', a bride maid looks and thinks that you’re winkin'. She thinks you’re kinda cute so she winks back and then you’re feeling really fine cause the girl is stacked Reception's jumpin, bass is pumping look at the girl, and your heart starts thumping. Says she wants to dance to a different groove, now you know what to do, G, (Bust a move).

Quinn, Tina and Mercedes with New Directions Girls: You want it, you got it (Uh) If you want it, baby, you got it.

Will with Artie and New Directions Boys: Just bust a move!

Quinn, Tina and Mercedes with New Directions Girls: If you want it, you got it (Uh) If you want it, baby, you got it. Uh, uh, uh, hey, huh, huh, ya, huh. Huh, hey, huh, hey, uh, uh, hey, ya, ya.

—––—

Rachel is practicing What a Girl Wants in her bedroom with Puck playing guitar.

Puck (voiceover): I know this looks weird. But wait until you see what happens next.

Puck: My ears are starting to hurt. Can we take a break?

Rachel (puts her brush down): Okay.

Puck: You wanna make out?

Rachel (stunned): Sure.

Puck (voiceover): I know. It’s whack. But I also remember what my history teacher told us last semester: Only Nixon can go to China. I have no idea what she meant, but it reminded me of when my family ordered Chinese food and sat down together for our traditional Simchas Torah screening of Schindler's List. That’s really when all of this started. It wasn’t the most normal tradition but we did it for my mom. (Puck's sister screamed and ran out the room when the guns go off.) As she was giving me my sweet-and-sour pork she said something that really hit home.

Puck's mom: You’re no better than them, Noah. Why can’t you date a Jewish girl?

Puck (voiceover): That night, I had the strangest dream. I knew it was a dream, because there’s no way Rachel could’ve climbed up the wall outside my window with no shoes on.

(Rachel entered Puck's room wearing a necklace that represents Jewish. IDK!)

Puck (voiceover): When I woke up, I knew it was more than a dream. It was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew, and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.

(Puck approached Rachel at school with a slushie and she closed her eyes waiting for the impact.

Puck: I picked it up for you when I was buying dip. It’s grape. I know that’s your favorite, because the last time I tossed a grape one in your face you licked your lips before you cleaned yourself off. 《Rachel took it》 Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to work together on some mash-up ideas.)

Puck (voiceover): Things happened pretty fast from that point. Getting her to make out with me was easier than I thought. Guess she’s kind of desperate.

Rachel pulled away imagined Finn she was kissing.

Puck (but with Finn’s face): You okay, baby?

Rachel (gets off him.): I can’t do this.

Puck: Why? We’re a couple of good-lookin' Jews. It’s natural.

Rachel: I-I can’t give myself to someone who isn’t brave enough to sing a solo. If you don’t have the guts to do that, then how are you gonna be bold enough to deal with the ups and downs of loving an admittedly high-maintenance girl like me?

Puck: Are you questioning my badassness? Have you seen my guns? (Goes to show her but Rachel stops him.)

Rachel: Noah, I’m sorry, but your arms are lovely, but I just don’t see us working out.

–——

Will (enters the choir room): So any ideas for the mash-up? (No one answered.) Anybody? No. Oh, come on, guys! It’s like you’re daring me to start dancing.

Mercedes: Oh no!

Puck (with a guitar on him.): I’ve been working on something.

Will: Oh, yeah?

Puck: It’s my personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon. (That got Rachel’s attention.)

Will: Uh, fantastic. Let’s hear it. (Sits in the back of the seats.)

Puck plays the tune to Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline.

Puck: Where it began, I can’t begin to know when, but then I know it’s growing strong. Was in the spring and spring became summer who’d believe you’d come along Hands, touching hands, reaching out touching me, touching you

Puck with New Directions: Oh, sweet Caroline good times never seem so good. I’ve been inclined to believe it never would. Oh, sweet Caroline good times never seem so good Oh, I’ve been inclined to believe it never would oh no no..

Puck was serenading to Rachel and earning disapproving looks from Finn and Santana. The performance is well-received.

—–——

Puck and Rachel are walking, arm-in-arm, together down the hallway.

Rachel: ...making Tommy Tune the first to win Tony gold in four categories.

Puck (not interested): Totally interesting. You know, you never told me what you thought of my mash-up solo.

Rachel: You’re still missing the elusive high "B." That’s a brass ring for a baritenor. I had to work on it for weeks with Finn before he got it. You’re a great performer, Noah. I just wanna say how proud I am to have you on my arm in front of the whole high school.

Unexpectedly, Puck gets hit in the face with a slushie by Karofsky. Rachel took Puck to the girl's washroom to help him clean up.

Puck: You’re pretty good at this.

Rachel: I’ve had a lot of practice. You’re actually a lot luckier than me and Quinn. Your head is shaved.

Puck: I’m really sorry I ever did this to you.

Rachel: It’s okay.

Puck: No, it isn’t. No one deserves this feeling. You know what the worst part is? It’s not the burning in your eyes or the way the Slushee drips all the way into your underpants. It’s the humiliation. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. Rachel...I’m sorry, but today when the clock chimes 3:30.

Rachel: You’re choosing football over Glee, which means we probably can’t be together anymore.

Puck: Yes. Damn, I feel like such a bad Jew. (Rachel kisses his forehead.)

—–—

The Glee Club is waiting anxiously in the choir room for the guys.

Will: Hey, guys.

The clock turns to 3:30 and they all looked to the door.

Will: I guess they’re not coming. I’m really sorry, guys.

Mercedes: I can’t believe this. I thought they were our friends. How can they just abandon us?

Then in walk, Mike and Matt who Santana and Brittany approach giving hugs.

Santana: Hi. I’m glad you made it.

Brittany: You scared me.

Mike: Good to see you, huh?

Then Puck walks in, shocking everyone, Rachel approached him.

Rachel: Are you... sure about this, Noah? I mean, choosing us over the team means you might get a Slushee in your face every day.

Puck: Bring it.

The two approached the other but...

Artie: Where’s Finn?

—–—–

With a slushie in hand, the Glee members were wearing raincoats, gasping to hide their faces. But the person went Kurt and Rachel who gasped at the slushie in hand. Kurt turned around looking at the slushie.

Kurt: Do it.

The person was Finn.

Finn: I really don’t want to, honestly. I know how picky you are about what products you use on your face.

Kurt: But you’ve been getting so much pressure from the gorillas on the football team. I guess they didn’t appreciate me resigning from the team and choosing Glee.

Finn: Probably would have went over better if you didn’t announce it in the showers.

Mercedes, Tina and Artie approached the other three at Kurt’s locker.

Mercedes: You are not gonna Slushee on my man Kurt.

Rachel (glaring at the boy) : Why wouldn’t he? He’s made his choice. He doesn’t care about us losers anymore.

Finn: No, that’s not true. It’s just that if I don’t do it the guys on the team are gonna kick the crap out of me.

Kurt: Well, we can’t have that, can we? Kurt took the slushie from Finn.

Finn: What are you doing?

Kurt: It’s called taking one for the team. (throws the slushie in his own face) Now get out of here, and take some time to think whether or not any of your friends on the football team would have done that for you. (Finn leaves) Someone get me to a day-spa stat! Kurt is dragged off to the girls' bathroom by Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina.

—–—–

Rachel visits Puck, who is watching football practice from the bleachers.

Rachel: You miss it?

Puck: Hell, no.

Rachel: I hope you didn’t choose Glee over football because of me.

Puck: Why?

Rachel: Because I don’t think this relationship is gonna work out.

Puck: It’s cool. I was gonna break up with you anyway.

Rachel: No, you weren’t.

Puck: Yes, I was. You won’t even let me touch your boobs. It’s Finn, right? (Rachel was quiet.) He’s never gonna leave Quinn. Not with that baby in her belly.

Rachel: You like her, don’t you? I can see you staring at her when I’m staring at Finn. Is that why you joined Glee? To be closer to her?

Puck: Like I said, they’re never breaking up. God, what’s the matter with me? I’m a stud, and I can’t even hold on to a chick like you? No offense. Why don’t girls like me?

Rachel: Because you’re kind of a jerk. No offense. I just think you want it too much which is something I can relate to. I want everything too much. Our relationship was built on a fantasy. Like every other one in my life. I think I just agreed to us being together because I thought it would make Finn jealous. (puts a hand on his shoulder) I just hope we can still be friends.

Puck: We weren’t friends before. He leaves her for her to stay on the bleachers.

–——–—

Finn has returned to Glee Club, and gives everyone slushies as a way to say sorry.

Finn: So, what do you think about my welcome back gift to the club, huh, guys? Everyone grabbed one for themselves.

Rachel: Thanks for the Slushees, Finn. They’re delicious.

Kurt: And loaded with empty calories. You know why they call them Slushees? Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them.

Finn: I’d like to propose a toast. To Mr. Schue. You were right about Glee Club and football being a killer combination.

Everyone cheered and clicked their cups.

Artie: Mr. Schue, I am sorry to report that we’ve all been remiss about completing our assignment this week.

Mercedes: Yeah, none of us could find a good groove for "Bust a Move."

Artie: And I personally feel like a failure.

Will: Well, that’s okay, guys. Because I feel like the lesson landed.

And that’s what’s important and we are glad to have you back, Finn.

Quinn was in blue dress and cardigan, quite upset. Will: You okay, Quinn?

Quinn: Do I look okay? I’m devastated. Now that I’m off the Cheerios, I’ll start every day with a Slushee facial.

That’s okay if that happens, Quinn, because there are 11 of your friends right here who are gonna be more than

happy to help clean you off.

Everyone: Yeah. Whoo!

That's right, girl.

Will rubs his head. Will: Mmm, brain freeze. I can’t imagine getting hit in the kisser with one of these.

That gave the glee members an idea.

Artie: You’ve never been hit by a Slushee before, Mr. Schue?

Will: Um... All right, guys. We’re a team. Bring it on. Gimme your best shot. He opened his arms out.

Rachel (taking the straw out.): One, two, three.

Everyone took their straws out and Will yelled as the members threw the slushies in Will's direction and it got on his clothes, face and hair.

Will: Oh. All right. From the top. Taking a sip of his slushie, everybody laughed.

#transcript #glee

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Throwdown (Non School Sets)

A nervous Quinn and Finn are at the OB/GYN to check out the sonograms for their baby.

Quinn (whispers): I’m freaking out.

Finn: Everything's gonna be fine.

Obstetrician: Relax. At your age, there's very little chance of anything being wrong.

Finn: Awesome. (He smiles big.)

Obstetrician: It is gonna be a little cool to the touch. She put some gel on the camera but before she could put it on her, Quinn stopped her.

Quinn: Can you just be careful with my uniform?

Obstetrician: All right. Speaking of your ages, have you two given any thought to what you’re gonna do after the baby is born?

Fin: Whatever Quinn wants is fine.

Obstetrician: Well, if it makes a difference, it's a girl.

The couple were shocked.

Out of the room, Will was sitting down in the lobby as Finn came out of the room.

Will: Hmm. Hey.

Finn: Hey. (Sits down beside him.) The baby's fine. Uh, no mutations or anything. Not even any cool ones. Thanks for taking us today. I was too freaked out to drive.

Will: Yeah. No problem. Hey. You doing all right?

Finn: Um, no. I mean, how am I supposed to take care of a real person? My mom won’t even let me have fish.

Will: I thought Quinn wanted to give the baby up for adoption.

Finn: For now, but we both know that’s not my call. This sucks. Get all the stress and the worry and none of the control.

Quinn leaves the room. Will and Finn saw her coming out. Finn: It’s cool, Mr. Schue. You wouldn’t understand.

–––––

At William's apartment, Terri is talking on the phone with her sister, Kendra.

On Kendra's side, her triplet children were shrieking and jumping up and down on the bed.

Kendra: I wanted to remind you to tell that Quinn girl not to vaccinate in the hospital. I’m pretty sure those shots made my kids stupid.

Terri: Oh. I guess I could use the vaccination money to buy the organic crib mattress. I mean, what are the chances of the baby getting polio, right?

Will took the phone from Terri's hand and spoke two words. Will: Bye, Kendra. He hang up the phone.

With the phone hang up, Kendra yelled. Kendra: I hate you, Will!

Terri: That was rude! Don’t take the stress of your workday out on me.

Will: I don’t wanna take it out on you, Terri. I just don’t wanna feel as powerless in my own home as I do at school. I have to come home and listen to you making major decisions about our son with your sister. I haven’t even felt the baby kick yet and the only time I’ve ever been to an OB/GYN office was when I took Quinn and Finn for the 10-week ultrasound.

Terri's attention was on that. Terri: You did? How's the baby?

Will: Fine. It's a girl. That's not the point.

Terri: Well, what is the point, Will?

Will: My point is that I am the father of that baby. And I’m coming with you to your next doctor's appointment.

––––––

After a day at work, Will was grading papers and Terri approached him with a beer.

Will: Oh! Thanks, honey. I wanna finish grading these papers first.

Terri: What, you think the kids weren't drunk when they wrote 'em, hmm?

She then sat on the coffee table. Terri: Listen, honey. I’ve been a really crummy wife lately.

Will: Uh, Terri, you’re carrying my baby. I have no right to expect anything more than that from you.

Terri: No, that is my sister's marriage, and I don’t want it. (Then moves to sit beside him.) Anyway, listen. I think that I might be able to help you with your problems at school.

Will: Uh, thanks, Terri, but the last time you helped out at school it didn’t go over very well. (He pokes her nose.)

Terri was speechless.

Will: Besides, this is serious. I mean, Sue said she wouldn’t rest until she saw me fired.

Terri: All the more reason. You gotta do whatever it takes, honey. You gotta get down in the gutter if you wanna win this.

–––––

Terri is looking desperately through her drawer and finds her pregnancy pad, just as Will gets home. Will: Hey, babe, you home?

Terri put it on under her shirt.

Will: Hey, what’s for dinner?

Terri: Oh! Why don’t you get something from takeout, sweetie.

Will: Hey, listen. I don’t expect you to start cooking but on nights when you’re home first, I think It’s appropriate for you to take care of dinner.

Terri: Wow, you’re so forceful. What’s gotten into you?

Will: You. You were right. I stood up to Sue and now she's begging me for mercy. Oh, I feel great! And I have you to thank for it.

Terri: I have my moments, huh? Goes to leave.

Will: You’re gonna have another one this Friday at 4:00. I made an appointment for us with Dr. Woo.

Terri was scared that the truth will come out. Terri: My obstetrician.

Will (smiles): Yep.

Terri: Oh. Inside she was terrified.

Will: I’m finally gonna get a look at my little boy. Hey. Pick whatever you want for dinner. (Kisses her) Just not Chinese again.

–––––

Kendra and Terri went to go to see Dr. Wu at the OB/GYN.

Dr. Wu: My job is very stressful. After dentists, obstetricians have the highest rate of suicide among medical professionals. Caring for my bonsai relaxes me.

Terri: I had a huge crush on the Karate Kid when I was a teenager.

Kendra: Can we cut the crap?

Dr. Wu: I guess I’m a little curious as to what you ladies want from me. Neither of you are pregnant.

Kendra: Well, Woo you delivered all three of my kids. Each one is dumber than the last. Plus, they all have A.D.D. And, although my husband nor I have red hair they are all creepy ginger kids.

Dr. Wu: It’s caused by a recessive gene.

Kendra: That’s one theory. Do you wanna hear mine? You gave me too much Pitocin when I was in labor and it screwed up their DNA.

Dr. Wu was so calm. Dr. Wu: That’s not a theory. You just made that up. Mrs. Schuester, is your sister on some kind of new psychotropic medication?

Terri: Not that I know of.

Kendra: That’s offensive. She retorted back putting up a act.

Terri approached her sister. Terri: Are you all right?

Kendra: Shh. Here’s the deal, Wu. My husband does the taxes for some very powerful mid size law firms in this town. And I’m sure somebody would be more than happy to take on my lawsuit.

Dr. Wu: You’ll never win.

Kendra: I don��t have to win. There’s only two OBs in this town. You get even the slightest stink on you and you can bet that a bunch of your patients will just close on up their legs and walk on over to Dr. Chin.

Dr. Wu: Okay, this is outrageous. What do you want?

––––––

Will and Terri are at the OB/GYN and with some sneaky planning from Terri.

There was blue sheet over Terri's belly which confused Will.

Will: Is that necessary? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I mean, I am the one who knocked her up.

Dr. Wu: Just standard operating procedure. You okay, Mr. Schuester? You seem upset.

Will: Just-Just a little stressed. Bad day at work.

Terrri: Will, you’re about to see your child for the first time. Can you forget about those dancing delinquents for one minute?

Will: You’re right. I’m sorry. Oh, my parents are gonna kill me if I don’t come home with a DVD. Got it right here.

Wu showed him a disc. Wu: Got it right here. Wu squeezed some gel on a bowl.

Will: Oh, that must be cold.

Wu: Sorry about that.

Terri: It’s really... Yeah, it’s a little cold.

Terri kept an act up and the wand pointing towards her legs.

The sonagram showed a baby that was a bit small. Will: Wow! That’s him!

Terri cleared her throat. Wu: Oh, hold on a sec.

Will (concern) What? I-Is something wrong with him?

Wu: Well, not exactly. This is really embarrassing, but it appears as if your boy is a girl.

Terri gasped and Will was shocked. Wil: Oh, my God. Did something happen to his...

Wu: No, he never had one. He’s a she. Must have misread the first sonogram. Sorry about that.

Will teared up at the sight of his Possible baby.

Terri: Honey, I, I didn’t know that having a boy was so important to you.

Will (tearfully): It isn’t. I don’t care what she is. She’s all ours. I’m just so happy.

Will leaned down to his wife. Terri: No matter what happens I want you to remember at this moment that we love each other. Okay?

During this moment, they sealed it with a kiss.

(I HATE TERRI!!!!!)

#transcript #glee

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

Text

Throwdown (School Sets)

Announcer: Here’s what you missed last week. Quinn’s pregnant, and Puck's the father, but Quinn’s decided... to give the baby to Terri, Who’s not pregnant, just pretending to be. It was her sister Kendra's idea.

Kendra: We're gonna have to get you a baby.

Announcer: Also, Ken proposed to Emma, and she said...

Emma: Yes.

Announcer; Oh, and Sue got Figgins to make her co director of the Glee Club.

Sue: Hey, kids.

Announcer: And that’s what you missed on... 🎵Glee🎵

The episode begins in the auditorium. Will and Sue are engaged in a heated argument in slow motion.

Will: How did this happen? I look like a crazy person. That’s not me. Wow. I didn’t know the vein on my neck could stick out like that. We’ve been going at it for a week... since the decongestant incident where Figgins brought Sue in to co-run the Glee Club. I’m so ashamed of myself. She’s turned me into her.

The camera turns to Sue.

Sue: Look at me. Even in the heat of battle, I’m so elegant... regal. I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior. God, it feels good to finally pop that zit known as Will Schuester.

Will: Shut up, Sue. Look at us. We're even fighting in our voice-overs. I guess things really started to fall apart a couple days ago...right after Figgins called us into his office for a sit-down.

––

The scene turns to Principal Figgins office.

Figgins: Sue, Schue, I called you here... to get the temperature of the Glee Club. I wanted to get a progress report... on how you're working together as co directors.

Will: Well, I think...

Sue: In my opinion... No, go ahead.

Will: No, you.

Sue: Okay.

Will: Please.

Sue: Principal Figgins. Uh, things couldn't be going more smoothly.

Will: I couldn’t agree more.

Figgins (leaning forward): I don't want to hear any reports... of either of you trying to curry favor from the children. Am I clear?

Will: Oh, absolutely.

The scene goes to Glee Club.

Will: As we head into sectionals, I wanna get some feedback. Like, what kind of stuff you guys would like to be doing. Is there anything... any music in particular... that you guys wanna do?

Mercedes (raising a hand): Can we maybe try something a little more black?

Kurt: I agree. We do an awful lot of show tunes.

Rachel: It's Glee Club, not Crunk Club.

Mercedes (glares at the girl): Don’t make me take you to the carpet.

Will quickly interfered. Will: Fantastic! Thank you, Mercedes, Kurt. Duly noted. Anything else?

Mike (raising a hand): I can pop and lock.

Will: Not really what we're goin' for, Mike... but... noted, noted, yes.

Back in Figgin’s office.

Figgins: And no pitting the kids against one another.

Sue: Never.

In Sue's office.

Sue: I wanna pit these kids against one another. Am I clear? Quinn, update. Go.

Quinn: The minority students don't feel like they're being heard.

Sue: Ah. Chink in the armor, huh? I am going to create an environment that is so toxic... no one will want to be a part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice, young couple... and I salted the earth in the backyard... so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years. You know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs.

Back to Figgin’s office.

Figgins: Sectionals is coming up. What are your co director plans?

Will: Uh, we were actually... Uh, we’re each gonna direct our own number.

Sue: And we’ll be flipping a coin to see who goes first. It’ll be very civilized, very sportsmanlike, so...

Will: Mmm. Yes.

Figgins: This arrangement is pleasing to all.

Sue: Isn’t it?

Will: It’s great.

Figgins: Now, let’s hug it out.

Will (chuckling): I’d rather not do that.

Sue: I really don’t see that happening.

Figgins: This meeting doesn't end until I see your bodies touching. It's a technique I learned last week at my leadership seminar.

The two stood up and did a hug but whispered to each other.

Will: I will destroy you.

Sue: I'm about to vomit down your back.

Will: It's on.

––

Set in the corridor of the school

Rachel was at her locker and when she closed it- Jacob was there.

Rachel (leaving): Ew

Jacob: The independent polling company in my Dockers...has determined you're the hottest girl in this school.

Jacob: Have you been reading my blog?

He chased after her.

Rachel: Of course not. You’re a gossip monger... and your blog is nothing but trash and lies, many of them about me.

Jacob: You’ll be happy to know the one I’m working on right now has nothing to do with you... or your rumored lust for Jew-fros. It’s about Quinn Fabray. Word on the street is that she’s in trouble.

Rachel: Where did you hear that?

Jacob: Are you denying it?

Rachel: Yes. She walked away.

Jacob: Because the same birdie told me you're heartbroken... Finn Hudson didn't choose you to carry his litter.

Rachel was annoyed and stomped towards him. Rachel: What is it gonna take for you to not run the story?

Jacob: Well...

–––

In the Choir room-

Sue: Ladies' choice. Heads.

She flipped the coin that Will caught.

Will (momentarily): Heads.

Sue: Awesome. All right. Following students have been selected... for a special elite Glee Club called Sue's Kids.

Will: Hold on. We agreed not to split up the group.

Sue: Aw, come on, Will. Give me a chance to do things Sue Sylvester's way. Maybe with my proven leadership abilities... I can help this pathetic group of mouth breathers place at sectionals.

Will: We can't even compete in sectionals if we divide up the club, Sue. It's against the rules.

Sue: Really? You need to crack open a book, William. Here. I have. Show Choir Rule Book. Page 24. Provision 14. Second addendum. “Twelve members must perform for each team. However, not all members must perform every song.”

Will (huffed): Fine. Hey, just go ahead, take all the football players and your Cheerios.

Sue: All right, everybody. Listen up. When you hear your name called, cross over to my side of this black, shiny thing.

Will: That’s called a piano, Sue.

Sue: Santana! Wheels! Gay kid! Come on! Move it! Asian! Other Asian. Aretha. And Shaft. I don't want to participate in a group

that ignores the needs of minority students.

All the called kids moved to side of the piano.

Will (leaning in): You have got to be kidding me!

Sue: I wouldn't kid about this. And maybe that's your problem. Bigotry is no laughing matter.

Santana (making a c with her hand): And that’s how Sue sees it.

Sue: Outstanding.

––

Finn was at Rachel’s locker who closed it and faced the tall boy.

Finn: So what did you have to do to get him to stop?

Rachel: Let’s just say I feel sorry for my dads... 'cause they’re probably gonna have to dip into my college fund to pay for intensive therapy.

Finn: Whoa! Hard core.

Rachel: I don't mind. I did it to protect you.

Finn: And Quinn.

Rachel: Of course. We're all teammates.

Finn (stops in front of her): Hey, I gotta tell you. You really are awesome. I'm gonna make it up to you someday, I swear.

Rachle smiled then begins to walk away.

Jacob (appearing out of nowhere): I need another pair.

Rachel (shock): What’s wrong with the ones I already gave you?

Jacob: Look. Uh, they still had the tag on them.

He spoke very loudly.

Rachel (growls): Put those away!

Jacob: Okay. I expect delivery by tomorrow morning... or the story of Quinn Fabray and the stork goes wide. I feel an urge to kiss you right now. I’m just gonna go for it.

Rachel (points a finger to him): You stop it!

Jacob: Okay. Sorry. He leaves her alone.

––

In the Choir room it was only the Sue's Kids.

Tina: I’m k-k-kind of nervous.

Artie: I debated not even showing up.

Mercedes: I think it’s gonna be great. Did you catch Sue's Corner last night?

(Sue was on the news, speaking. Sue: Sometimes people ask me, "Sue,

how come you’re so sensitive to minorities?" I’ll tell you why. Because I know firsthand how hard it is to struggle as a minority in America today. I’m 1/16th Comanche Indian. In fact, I like minorities so much... I’m thinkin' of movin' to California to become one.)

Sue entered the choir room and hands some papers to the kids.

Sue: Hey, kids. Brought some of my brass buddies with me. Thought maybe they could help us out a little bit. Okay. So I selected a song that I think will speak to the frustration you’ve felt under the failed leadership of Will Schuester.

Mercedes (smiling): "Hate on Me," an R & B song!

Sue: You like that? Yeah.

Sure looked at the Asian boy. Sue: Changster, I wanna see some of that pop and lock groove you're so famous for. You go to town. (To Mercedes) And you, Mercedes. I want to see some Mariah hands.

Mercedes: I can do that.

Artie: Yeah!

Tina (stutters): I think we g-got this one, Miss Sylvester.

Sue:All right. Well, we'll see. Hit it!

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Hate On Me BY Jill Scott

New Directions: Do-do-do Do-do-do Do-do-do-do

Mercedes: If I could give you the world on a silver platter, would it even matter? You’d still be mad at me, If I could find in all this a dozen roses that I would give to you, you’d still be miserableCause in reality I’m gonna be who I be and I don't feel no faults. For all the lies that you bought You can try as you may, break me down but I say that it ain't up to you, go on and do what you do

Mercedes: Hate on me, hater, now or later 'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be mad, baby (Sue's Kids: Go ahead and hate) Go 'head and hate on me, hater, cause I'm not afraid of what I got I paid for, you can hate on me.

Mercedes with Will's Group (Will's Group): Hate on me, hater, now or later Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be mad, baby (You cannot hate on me) Go 'head and hate on me, hater ('Cause my mind is free) Cause I'm not afraid of (Feel my destiny) What I got I paid for (So shall it be)

Mercedes: You can hate on me

Tina: You cannot hate on me (Mercedes: Hate on me, hater)

Mercedes (Sue's Kids): Now or later ('Cause my mind is free) 'Cause I'm gonna do me (My destiny) You'll be mad, baby (So shall it be) (Tina: So shall it be) (Hate on me) Go 'head and hate on me, hater ('Cause my mind is free) 'Cause I'm not afraid of (Feel my destiny) What I got I paid for (So shall it be) (Tina: So shall it be) You can hate on me

Mercedes with Sue's Kids: Go 'head and hate on me, hater Cause I'm not afraid of, what I got I paid for You can hate on me (Mercedes: Yeah).

What the kids and Sue didn’t know was that Will was watching them.

–––

Sue was walking in the hallway as Will confronted her.

Will: Sue. Hey, Sylvester, I’m talking to you.

Sue: Oh, hey, buddy. I thought I smelled failure.

Will: Why'd you take the piano when it was my time up with the kids?

Sue: A properly steam-cleaned piano is the key to any successful music group.

Will: You are undermining me in front of these students.

Sue: Your delusions of persecution are a telltale sign of early-stage paranoid schizophrenia.

They were at a staircase that leads to thr football fields.

Will: Sue, I am not done talking to you. What about all my sheet music? My kids need that music.

Sue: Well, Will, the last thing your kids need is chronic sinusitis from the mildew I fearedwas infesting that old, moldy paper.

Will: So, what, you sent it away for some testing?

Sue: Nah. Burned it.

Will: That is it, Sue! This ends right here!

Sue: A cockfight. Fantastic.

Will: We are here for these students. Whatever problems we have,we're gonna get 'em out in the open!

Sue stopped by the end of the stairs.

Sue: You wanna get real? You’re right, Will. I have been trying to destroy your club with a conviction I can only call religious. And you wanna know why? Because I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting.

Will: Oh, you are a terrible influence on these kids. You’re dangerous. I think you teach them the wrong lessons!

Sue: I don’t care what you think. I have a legacy to protect, William, and Glee Club is a part of that legacy. And I will win. If it means I have to get you fired to do it, so be it. Those drinks are crap.

Sue took a kid's drink and dumped it on the ground.

––

At the next Cheerios practice, Sue is being interviewed by a journalist for a cheerleading magazine.

Journalist: Sue, a lot of our readers at Cheerleading Today...

Sue: I’m cutting you off. Is this a cover story?

Journalist: Yes.

Sue: Okay. This is all your readers need to know. I’m all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear... by creating an environment of irrational, random terror. Speaking of which... Q! Here, now!

Quinn rushed up to her.

Sue: Where are my Cheerios?

Quinn: Coach Sylvester, they’re not academically eligible.

Angered, Sue pulls Will into Figgins' office to report him for "jeopardizing" her Cheerios' future.

Sue: This is a travesty of international proportions. You are jeopardizing my Cheerios' role as goodwill ambassadors and I have a call in to the president.

Will: I have a Spanish quiz in which one of your cheerleaders misspelled her name and answered every question with a drawing of a sombrero.

Sue: You can’t stand it. You can’t stand to see a woman in a position of power.

Will: That has nothing...

Sue: Your psychosexual derangement would be fascinating, Will if it weren’t so terrifying!

Figgins: Sue, Will did a little research. According to our test records, most of your cheerleaders are functionally illiterate!

Sue: Oh, so what?

Figgins: And why, only last Friday, at the football game they tried to spell out "Go, team," and they spelled out "To game".

Will: "To game." Since 1992, 95% of your Cheerios should have flunked Spanish and I, for one, am not gonna be a part of it anymore.

Sue: Oh, Will, we all know about your devotion to that dying language!

Will: Dying language?

Sue sits down beside him.

Sue: Let me break this down for you, okay? I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go on to college? I don’t know. I don’t care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they wanna be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round off.

Will: She is deranged. You know, this all happened on your watch! You have allowed this to go on for years.

Figgins gestured to himself, appalled that Will was blaming him.

Sue: Say something!

Figgins: Oh, plea... Okay! Sue, Will is correct. You're wrong.

Sue: What?

Figgins: From now on, no free passes. That's it! There.

Will:(going out the door) See you in Glee Club, Sue.

Sue (raising a finger up): Don’t... touch me. (Will touched her anyway.) That is a lawsuit, mister! I will sue your ass!

Sue leaned on the desk. Sue: What happened to our little agreement, huh? Will I be uploading a certain video to YouTube this afternoon?

Figgins: Oh, Sue. I put it on YouTube myself, and it only got two hits!

Sue (whispers): Damn!

Figgins: Let me break it down for you. Nobody cares!

Sue threw a fit. Figgins: No, not the children!

––

In Will's Spanish class, Finn passes a note to Quinn while they’re taking a test.

Quinn: What is this?

Finn: Check it out. I came up with a name that I think would be good for the kid.

Will: Eyes on your own test, Finn. He saw Finn looking at Quinn. A bit approach his desk. What’s up now, Ronnie?

Finn looked back at her.

Finn: Anyway, then I read that Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple and I think that’s so cool 'cause you know how much I love apples, right? So I figured we should name our kid something more original and poetic. Then I came up with the best baby name of all time.

Quinn opened the paper and it reads....

Finn: Drizzle!

Quinn: Drizzle?

Finn: Yeah. Yeah. Cause you know how awesome it is when it’s just drizzling outside, but it’s not really raining... so it smells like rain, but you don’t need an umbrella to go outside.

Quiin (annoyed): Are you a moron?

Finn: What?

Quinn: We’re not naming our baby Drizzle. We’re not naming our baby anything. Finish your test, Finn.

Brittany pulls the books to her trying to copy.

Quinn: Will you give me my test back?

Brittany: I just don’t understand anything.

Quinn: That’s not my problem.

In the hallway after the class.

Quinn: You are so insensitive! Bringing up baby names to me when you know I don’t want to keep it. I can’t keep it.

Finn: I know, but I don’t get what you expect me to do about it.

Quinn: Not have an opinion?

Finn: Hey, this is happening to me too!

Quinn: No, it’s not! You’re not the one whose parents will burn her like a witch if they find out.

Finn: Sometimes I wish you were a little more like Rachel.

Finn said something he really shouldn’t have. Quinn: Really?

Finn: Yeah. She cares about my feelings. She sticks up for me. She sticks up for both of us. She gave that Jacob kid a pair of her underpants just to keep him from posting on his blog about you being pregnant.

Quinn: You think she did that for me? Just to be a good teammate?

Finn: That's what she told me.

Quinn: I know some guys cheat on their wives or pregnant girlfriends. Just don't do it with her. She walked away from him.

––

The New Directions were on the choir room were singing together.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Ride With Me BY Nelly

New Directions: Hey, oh, Hey Oh! Where they at, where they at, Where they at, where they at, Where they at, where they at, Where they at, come on now

If you wanna go and take a ride wit me

We three-wheelin' in the fo' with the gold D's Oh why do I live this way? (Hey) Must be the money!

In the club on the late night, feelin' right

Lookin' tryin' to spot somethin' real nice

Lookin' for a little shorty hot and horny So that I can take home (I can take home)

She can be 18 (18) wit an attitude or 19 kinda snotty actin' real rude. But as long as you a thicky thicky thick, girl you know that it's on (Know that it's on)

I peep something comin' towards me up the dance floor sexy and real slow (hey) Sayin' she was peepin' and I dig the last video. So when Nelly, can we go; how could I tell her no? Her measurements were 36-25-34

I like the way you brush your hair and I like those stylish clothes you wear I like the way the light hit the ice and glare and I can see you moving way over there.

Rachel: I miss us all being together.

Artie: I hope we don't get in trouble for our covert jam session.

Kurt: If Sue catches us mingling, we're cooked. She told me if I even talked to one of Mr. Schue's kids, she would shave my head. (Everyone laughs) And I just can’t rock that look. Even Justin Timberlake is growing his fro back.

Mercedes: Well, we gotta go, you guys.

Brittany: No! She hugs Santana.

Mercedes: Miss Sylvester is expecting us in 10 minutes in the dance studio.

Artie: Bye, white people.

Hey! What are you guys doing here?

Sue's Kids all said bye to Will's Group. But Will saw them in the choir room.

Will: Hey! What are you guys doing here?

Tina: Just s-s-stopping by to say hello.

Will: Ah, it's great to see you guys. Bye.

Sue's Kids all left the room.

Will: All right. Great news, guys. Brought the band with me, and I think that we have our number for sectionals.

Rachel: Mr. Schue? We don’t like what this has become.

Will: Don’t you guys see? That is how Sue wants you to feel. Giving up doesn’t help anyone but her. Look, if it were up to me, we would all perform together at sectionals. But it's not up to me anymore, okay? Sue's gonna do her song, and we are gonna do ours. Sue's Kids are singing about hate... literally. (Hands papers to his group.) So, I thought we would try a kinder approach. All right. Finn and Rachel, come up here. You’re gonna take the leads.

Rachel: Oh, I love this song. Okay. Follow my lead.

Finn: Don't wait for me.

Quinn: So much for togetherness.

Guys, you guys really need to practice this, all right? Night and day, between classes. It has to be letter-perfect. Okay?

Finn: You got it, Mr. S. Hit it.

Rachel: Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

Will's Group: Oh, oh, oh.

Rachel: If I should die before I wake, it’s 'cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air, Oh.

Finn: I’m here alone, don't wanna leave

My heart won’t move; it's incomplete, wish there was a way that I can make you understand.

Rachel: But how do you expect me to live alone with just me. 'Cause my world revolves around you, it’s so hard for me to breathe.

Will's Group: No! Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air. (Rachel: Breathe with no air yeah) (Finn: No air) Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air (Rachel: Woah woah) (Finn: No air) It's how I feel whenever you ain’t there (Rachel: Whenever you ain't there) (Finn: No breathing) It’s no air, no air (Rachel: No breathing no) got me out here in the water so deep. (Rachel: So deep) (Finn: So deep) Tell me how you gonna be without me (Rachel: Without me) (Finn: Can’t breathe without you baby)

No air, air (Rachel: Baby, no air) No air, air (Finn: No) No air, air (Finn: Hard for me to breathe) No air, air (Rachel: Oh)

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air (Rachel: No air) Can’t live, Can’t breathe with no air (Rachel: No no) It's how I feel whenever you ain't there (Rachel: Not there ) It's no air, no air

Rachel: You got me out here in the water so deep

Finn: Tell me how you gonna be without me

Rachel: If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe

Finn and Rachel: It’s no air, no air

Will: Amazing, guys. Bull's-eye.

Quinn: Excuse me. What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?

(Sue: Say it for me again, word for word.

Quinn: “What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?”

Sue: Perfect. Then turn to the other two and say...)

Backstage....

Quinn: I think Sue is right about him. He clearly doesn’t like minorities.

Puck and Brittany look at each other.

––

In Sue's office, Brittany and Pukc were sitting in the chairs.

Sue: Can you imagine in this day and age being discriminated against? My goodness. The pain you must be feeling. (Looks to Puck) So your last name's Puckerman, huh?

Puck (raise a fist up): Shalom.

Sue: Who knew? (Looks at Brittany) And poor, sweet Brittany. Oh, I know the Dutch are famous for being a cold people but that’s no excuse for treating you like some half-price hooker in Amsterdam's famous Red Light District. Well, all I can say is, if you’re serious about leaving Schuester Sue Sylvester's rainbow tent will gladly protect you from his storm of racism.

Puck and Brittany look at each other again, but were thinking.

––

In the Staff lunch room, Will stormed in, angry. Sue was the only one sitting in the room.

Will: Who do you think you are?

Sue: Well, now you know how it felt for me

to have my Cheerios snatched away.

Will: I can’t do a song with three kids.

Sue: Not with that attitude. Look, I’m prepared to cut you a deal. You pass my Cheerios and I’ll give you back your team of losers and snot faucets.

Will (angrily): Sue Sylvester you’re gonna have to pry those F's from my cold, dead hands.

Will leaves.

Sue (loudly): Can’t wait, pal!

–––

Quinn confronts Rachel by her locker.

Quinn: Listen here, treasure trail. We’re about to have a smack-down.

Rachel: I don’t want to have a confrontation.

Rachel tries to leave but Quinn stops her.

Quinn: Don’t play stupid with me, stubbles. I’m having Finn’s baby, and you need to back off. I’m asking you as nicely as I possibly can. Leave him alone.

Rachel: You’re right. I-I’ve helped you not because it’s the right thing to do but because I had romantic ulterior motives. But just so we’re clear, you’re the one who’s cheating.

Rachel walked away but Quinn follow her to the staircase.

Quinn: Excuse me?

Rachel: I have on good authority that you’re Sue Sylvester's mole and you can deny it all you want, but I know it’s true.

Quinn: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Rachel: Sue is not on your side, Quinn. She’s not on anyone's side but her own. Can you imagine what she’s gonna do when she finds out about your situation? She’ll probably try to rip off your uniform with her bare hands. All right. Every time you whisper in her ear you empower her to do more damage to the Glee Club. And right now, Glee Club is all you have. And if I were you, I’d recognize who my true friends are and I’d practice a little bit more because you obviously have a lot you need to express.

Quinn: Oh, you have no idea.

Quinn with the Cheerios: Set me free why don’t-cha baby Get out my life why don’t-cha baby Cause you don’t really love me. You just keep me hangin' on (The Cheerios: Ooh, ooh) You don’t really need me But you keep me hangin' on.

Why do you keep on comin' around playing with my heart. Why don’t you get out of my life and let me make a new start, Let me get over you

The way you’ve gotten over me, Hey!

Set me free why don’t-cha baby Let me be why don’t-cha baby. 'Cause you don’t really love me. You just keep me hangin' on (The Cheerios: Ooh, ooh). No, you don’t really want me you just keep me hangin' on

You say although we broke up, you still wanna be just friends. But how can we still be friends when seeing you only breaks my heart again

Quinn (Spoken): And there ain’t nothing I can do about it (The Cheerios: Whoa whoa whoa)

Quinn with the Cheerios: Set me free why don't-cha baby (The Cheerios: Whoa whoa whoa) get out my life why don't-cha baby (The Cheerios: Ooh, ooh).

Go on, get out, get out of my life and let me sleep at night, please. 'Cause you don't really love me

You just keep me hangin' on

Quinn: All right, everybody, take five.

––

The Glee Club gathers into the auditorium to witness Will's Group perform.

Rachel: We would just like to say that although we find ourselves on opposite sides, we hope you enjoy our number and we look forward to seeing yours as well.

Sue: Get on with it! Enough with the jibber-jabber. Sing something!

Will: Sue, you can’t talk to kids that way.

Rachel: Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air (air, air.)

Sue stood up. Sue: She had her chance. Everybody up. We’re leaving.

Finn: I’m sorry. Is there a fire?

Sue: No, and that’s the point. There is no fire. You know, it’s sad enough that my Sue's Kids are living in squalor and probably on food stamps.

Mercedes: My dad's a dentist.

Sue: But for you to drag 'em in here and bore 'em to death? I won’t stand for it. Come on, kids. Out. We’re goin' for Coneys. My treat.

Will finally snapped and slammed his binder on the ground. Will: All right, that's it!

Sue: Really?

Will: You know what, Sue? You've been pretty honest about your feelings for me so let me return the favor. You’re rude, Sue. You have no class, and you are a terrible teacher!

Sue: I’ll have you know I have my Ph.D.

Will (yelling): You got it online, Sue!

Sue(pointing a finger): You are a failed performer, Will. You weren’t good enough to make it in the real world. You’re not even good enough to run this stupid little club that nobody cares about. Time after time, Will, you fail!

Will: You spend every waking moment of your life figuring out ways to terrify children to try to make you feel better about yourself and the fact that you’re probably gonna spend the rest of your life alone!

Sue shoved Will back. Sue: How dare you talk to me like that!

Will: Don’t you even...

Sue: Don’t you point your...

The slow motion arguing came back until...

Finn (yelling): Enough! (Calms down) I’m sorry, Mr. Schue, Miss Sylvester, but if we wanted to hear Mom and Dad fight those of us who still have two parents would just stay home on payday.

Mercedes: I agree. Glee Club is supposed to be fun. And furthermore, I don’t like this minority business. I may be a strong, proud black woman, but I’m a lot more than that. I’m out.

Tina (stutters): M-Me too.

Rachel: Fellow Glee Clubbers, it would be an honor to show you how a real storm-out is done. I encourage you to follow my lead.

Thus leading to the entire club to storm out, Sue leaving afterwards and leaving Will alone.

––

Will comes by Sue's office for a talk.

Will: Hey Sue.

Sue: William. Close the door. He does just that.

Will: I, uh, wanted to talk to you about the auditorium.

Sue: Good. I wanted to come to you, too, but I have no idea where your office is. Why don’t you have a seat?

Will: Sure.

Sue: So I decided to step down as co-head of Glee.

Will: Really?

Sue: Yeah, it’s not for me. It’s too fruity. I can’t stand the sight of kids getting emotional unless it’s from physical exhaustion.

Will: Yeah. It did get pretty bad in there.

Sue: Yeah. I’d still like to stay on as consigliere. You know, maybe you could show me your set lists before competitions. Just so I feel like I’m contributing.

Will: Cool.

Sue: You know, I was a VJ for a couple of years. Not MTV, but still.

Will: Why do I feel like I’m about to fall through a trapdoor into a pit of fire?

Sue: Because you don't trust me.

Will: Mmm.

Sue: I know my methods are extreme, and I know I’m not like the rest of you hippies caring about the kids' feelings as if they’re real. But I do care about teaching. And when I coach them, and they win, I win. And you know how I feel about winning.

Will: I do. Look. Who's to say everything I do is a hundred percent on the ball?

Sue: No one would say that.

Will: Probably right, but, um, in hindsight you were right to shine the spotlight on the fact that those kids are minorities.

In the choir room,

Because you’re all minorities. You’re in the Glee Club. Now, there are only 12 of you. And all you have is each other. So it doesn't matter that Rachel is Jewish or that Finn is...

Finn: Unable to tell my rights from my lefts. Making everyone chuckle.

Will: Sure. Or that Santana is Latina... or that Quinn is...

Sue(cutting in): Is pregnant. Sorry, Q. It'll be all over the blogosphere by this afternoon. Now everybody knows... including me.

Sue left the room, as Quinn was shocked and so upset. Rachel couldn’t help but feel so bad.

Rachel confronted Jacob at his locker, closing it. Rachel: How could you do that? Do you have any idea how much pain you caused by running that story?

Jacob: Sue made me do it.

(In Sue's office, Sue was holding a pair of panties that belongs to Rachel. Sue: This was a particularly interesting find from today's round of locker checks. Are these your droopy, white granny panties, Jacob? Are you an Eve who was born a Steve? Because if you are, I think there's a special

school that would better address your needs. And I think that school is in Thailand.

Jacob: Rachel gave them to me so I wouldn’t run the Quinn story.

Sue: What Quinn story?

Jacob: Quinn Fabray is pregnant.

Sue: Not a chance. If my head cheerleader was pregnant, jeopardizing the very future of my Cheerios and thus my teaching tenure, I think she would have come to me. Quinn Fabray respects me and would never lie to me. Never.

Jacob: I have three sources confirming. Please don’t expel me. I’ll kill the story.

Sue: No. Run it.)

Jacob: I’m sorry, Rachel.

Rachel turned to see Finn holding a distraught Quinn.

Finn: It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything's gonna be okay.

–––

In the auditorium, everyone was wearing white tops and black pants singing “Keep Holding On” by Avril Lavigne.

Rachel: You’re not alone together we stand, I’ll be by your side. You know, I'll take your hand

Finn (New Directions): And when it gets cold, And it feels like the end. There’s no place to go You know, I won’t give in in (Aaah-aaah) (and Rachel: No, I won’t give in, Yeah! Yeah!)

Rachel (Finn and Rachel with New Directions): (Keep holding on) 'Cause, you know, we’ll make it through, (with Finn: we'll make it through) (Just stay strong) 'Cause, you know, I’m here for you, (with Finn: I'm here for you)

Finn and Rachel (with New Directions):

There's nothing you can say (New Directions: Nothing you can say)

Nothing you can do (New Directions: Nothing you can do)

There's no other way (when it comes to the truth)

So, (keep holding on)

'Cause, you know, we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny. Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah)

Rachel with New Directions: La da da da La da da da, La da da da da da da da da...

Rachel (Finn and Rachel with New Directions): (Keep holding on) 'Cause, you know, we’ll make it through, (with Finn: we’ll make it through)

New Directions Girls (New Directions Boys):

(Oooh-oh!) Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah (Oh-oh!) Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah (Finn and Rachel: Keep holding on!) Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah.

Finn and Rachel (with New Directions): There’s nothing you can say (New Directions: Nothing you can say). Nothing you can do (New Directions: Nothing you can do) There’s no other way (when it comes to the truth) (So,) (New Directions: keep holding on) Keep holding on 'Cause, you know, we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through.

I’m splitting the parts that aren’t in school.

#transcript #glee

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

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#bts jhope #jhope x reader #bts x reader #bts x you #bangtan

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werewolfbansheelove · 2 months

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I'm thinking of starting a rewrite series of a show I grew up and I've started watching it with my sister, it will be a three series for love interest.

The show is Teen Titans, will anyone be interested in that.

#for my followers #teen titans #rewrite series #dc robin #dc cyborg #dc beast boy

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werewolfbansheelove · 4 months

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The Sallie House Pt. 4

Chapter Summary: You and the Spooky boys continues the Sallie House investigation.

This time, Nate was going under for the Estes Method and Colby stood up going to the closet but the music box went off scaring Colby, that made Seth, Nate and you laugh at him. "I forgot about that thing being there." Colby nervously said.

Nate puts the blindfold over his eyes and had the headphones over his ears. "There’s a lot of TV static, it sounds like like Lacroix." Colby and Y/N snickered.

"Who are we talking-" Nate instantly cuts Colby off. "Hate Seven." Quick response.

"Is there seven of you here?" Colby asked.

"You." Nate answered.

"Seven of us, there’s five of us." Sam said.

But you and Seth felt a breeze, since you stood close to Seth. "I just felt a really cold breeze." Seth said.

"Me too." You said.

Bit Nate said a lot of random words. "Voodoo, Kids, Leaping. Oh my God." Nate took off the headphones.

"I’m sorry, this is just scary." Nate said also taking off the blindfold. Colby mocks him for a bit. "The reason I took it off is it was just like-" Nate made an inhale sound that frightened Colby and you. "Like the static stopped and a clear inhale."

"Ready to go back in?" Colby asked worried.

"Let’s get it." Sam said as Nate nods. Nate went back under. "Jesus," Y/N shook their head and cringed. "Save."

"Jesus to save you or do you protect-" Nate cut Colby off. "Come back." Nate said Jesus again. "Move."

"Do you want us to leave?" Seth asked.

"Yes."

"You want us to go to the basement?" Colby asked but his girl glared him and she said no under her breath repeatedly.

"Down where?" You asked.

"Half. Music."

"Stereo in the living room." You stated and then asked. "Do you want us to go to the living room?"

"Sally likes that, doesn't she?" Colby reassured. Colby then asked if it was Sallie and it was that it shocked the boys but you were a bit disturbed.

"I want to take you." Nate said.

"Sallie, are you the only one here or is there another spirits here?" Seth asked and Nate answered yes.

(.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.)

Later the boys and Y/N were in the kitchen area with the cake in the middle. They all sang happy birthday but the next thing that happened was the eight ball rolled down the stairs again but Nate ran off and the boys followed him outside. But you stayed in the house and you said. "Sallie, if you rolled the eight ball down the stairs, can you brush pass me please or make a footstep?" You asked and nothing answered but you did felt a breeze on your arm. The boys came back and you felt like you wanted to leave. "Boys, I don’t feel good. Can we please leave?" Y/N asked, you saw a presence to the kitchen.

"Yeah, we can leave." Colby said speaking for him, Sam, Nate and Seth.

They all grabbed their equipment and begin to leave the house. "Bye, Sallie. I hope you can find peace, but you cannot follow us. Sorry." You said to the house and the five of them left.

I know this is short, but I want to be done with this. Sorry everyone.

Taglist: @kindaslightlyacidic @localsimpppp @mary-jinx @kenzi-woycehoski @evilunicorns4minions

#colby brock #sam and colby imagine #sam golbach imagine #sam golbach #xplr imagines #xplr #sam and colby

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werewolfbansheelove · 4 months

Text

1X05- The Rhodes Not Taken

SCENE 1 : Repetition Hall's - Will and the Cast

Ringtone - Will hanging a poster to recruit in the Glee Club.

Finn and Quinn followed in chorus by the Cast- Song : Don't Stop Belivin'

In the repetition hall's, Will rehearsed the cast with couple lighthouse Quinn and Finn.

Suddenly, Quinn nausea and leaves.

Will : Quinn, you OK?

Quinn ran out.

Finn : I think she just had a bad breakfast burrito.

Kurt : Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?

Santana : Your sexuality?

Kurt : Rachel. We can't do it without her.

Will : That's not true. We may have to layer Santana Mercedes over Quinn's solo, but...we'll be fine.

Artie : Maybe for the invitationals, but not for the sectionals and certainly not the regionals.

Puck : The wheelchair kid's right. That Rachel chick wants me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing.

Will : Rachel left, guys. She's gone. If we want to make this thing work, we can't look back. Alright, take five minutes.

Will goes to the piano while the Glee Club gathers. Finn, he goes to Will.

Finn : Mr Shue? I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but with all the dancing around that Quinn's doing, I’m kind of worried about the baby.

Will : Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Um... how about I give Tina a few of her verses, okay?

Finn : Okay.

Will : You think you might want to tell your mom about what's going on?

Finn : I think I'd rather handle it myself right now. My mom's got enough to worry about.

Will is helpless in the situation.

SCENE 2 : Restaurant - Will, Terri and the server

Will and Terri moved to a table, while Terri swallows tons of cakes.

Will : How come you haven’t had any morning sickness? Quinn Fabray has been upchucking every 15 minutes.

Terri : Really? That’s a really good sign. That means the baby's not a Mongoloid.

Will : Well, is it bad that you haven't been sick then?

Terri : Oh, no, honey, no, no. You should ask Howard Bamboo about my Linda Blair impersonations every half hour at work.

Terri smiled at Will worried.

Will : I don't know what I'm gonna do about this whole Rachel thing.

Server approach.

Server : Hey. Would you like anything else?

Terri : Another piece of grasshopper pie.

Server : What, are you going for the record?

Terri : I'm with child.

The server notes the command embarrassed.

Will : Hey, did you go to McKinley High? I think I had you in my Spanish class.

Server : Yeah, like, five years ago. I go to Carmel now.

Will : How is that possible? You must be 22.

Server : (Laughs) ... Twenty-four. I'm a sixth-year senior. They keep failing me so I can stay in Vocal Adrenaline.

Will : They fail you on purpose?

Server : Yeah.

Will : Is that legal?

Server : I'm the only one who can do the triple flip.

Terri : Yeah. Hey, how about that other piece of pie?

Server : How about it.

The server goes in front of shocked Will. Then, Will uses a piece of pie on the plate Terri always thoughtful.

Terri : Honey, are you all right?

Will : ... Yeah. Fine.

Will smiles.

SCENE 3 : Emma office's - Finn, Emma and Will

Finn sat facing Emma tense.

Finn : So... have I done something wrong... or...?

Emma : Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely not. No, um, actually, I've just, um, taken a special interest in you. Look, I know sometimes that life can come at you pretty fast, and, uh, you reach a point where you might just need a little, um, special guidance.

Finn : Has someone told you something about my personal life?

Emma : No. Mm-mm.

[Flash Back]

Moments earlier, Will in the office talking to Emma.

Will : Can you keep a secret?

[Back to reality]

Emma : But, you know, there are very few students that ever get athletic scholarships. Okay? But there are a lot of schools that give full rides to students who excel in music. Students like yourself. And I don't know, maybe if you were able to go to college, you wouldn't, say, end up stuck in this town in a dead-end job living hand- to-mouth with a wife and a kid you never intended to have, you know? For example. That's just something off the top of my head.

Finn : So you think if I stuck with Glee that I could get a scholarship?

Emma : It’s definitely a possibility. You know? And if you did well at regionals, maybe you could, um, generate some interest.

Finn : But we lost Rachel. Do you think we can do it without her?

Emma : Sure.

[Flash Back]

Moments before, Emma and Will talking in the corridors.

Will : Do you think we can win regionals without Rachel?

Emma : Well, remember the Jamaican bobsled team? Big long shots.

Emma went away.

[Back to reality]

Emma smiling face Finn worried.

Emma : ... Definitely. But if you're concerned about your future and, um, those who may be a part of your future soon, um, maybe you could just give Rachel a talk. You know, see if you can get her to come back.

Finn nodding while the school bell rang.

SCENE 4 : Repetition Hall's - Jacob, Rachel, Sandy and Finn

Rachel interview by Jacob for the Gazette's high school at the microphone.

Jacob : How does it feel to be just a sophomore and get the lead in the school musical?

Rachel : It's an honor. Frankly, one I feel I've earned. If there's anything I've learned in my 16 years on the stage, it's that stars are rare, and when they're found, you have to let them shine.

Jacob stop recording.

Jacob : ... Mm. Show me your bra.

Rachel : You mean the one I'm wearing?

Jacob : Quid pro quo, Rachel. If you want a good review, show me your over the shoulder boulder holder.

Rachel : No way. You can't do that. My performance will stand on its own. Besides, no one reads the school paper, anyway.

Jacob : Oh, but I'll post my scathing review online. You'll be finished on the high school stage. Now, get those sweater puppies out of their cashmere cage.

Rachel rising annoyed.

Jacob : Mm...

At this time, Sandy enters the room running.

Sandy : Sorry I'm late. My Vespa had a flat.(Jacob got up and arranging his affairs.)Give me a minute and I will be ready for my interview.

Jacob : We're actually not gonna need any quotes from you for the article, Mr Ryerson. Do the right thing. All the great actresses take their clothes off.

Sandy : Well, I have no problem with nudity. Let me tell you about «　My planned production of Equus.　» Have you ever hung out at a stable?

Sandy was driving Jacob out, as Rachel sits down. Finn enters the room and sees Rachel.

Finn : Hey, what are you doing?

Rachel : Nothing. Uh, just... getting the star treatment I didn't get in Glee.

Finn : Totally.

Rachel : It's times like this where I know I've chosen the right path. I'm never going back to Glee. It's clear my talent is too big for an ensemble.

Finn approached her.

Finn : Not gonna get an argument from me.

Rachel : I'm not?

Finn : No. You're, like, the most talented person I know. Even more than that guy at the mall who can juggle chain saws. I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to run lines with, I'm available.

Rachel : Th ....There is a lot of dialogue.

Finn : I figured... we could go somewhere quiet, maybe with low lighting and... Let me know.

Finn goes off leaving Rachel with a smile.

SCENE 5 : Will office's - Will and Emma

Emma sits opposite to Will with a folder in his hand.

Emma : I could get fired for this.

Will : She was a student 15 years ago. No one is gonna care.

Emma : Okay.

Emma, hesitant, he reluctantly gives the folder. Then, Will, impatient, browse the folder with a smile.

Will : I....I knew it. She never graduated. She....she quit with, like, three credits to go.

Emma : Will. Yeah, I, um, I saw her picture in the folder. Pretty.

Will : Pretty? Mm. April Rhodes was a goddess. The most talented performer in McKinley Glee Club history. When she sang, it was mesmerizing. She was my first crush.I was a freshman,...

Emma : Wait...

Will : ... she was a senior.

Emma : Wait, hold on, 'cause I thought you said your wife was your first crush.

Will : Well, yeah, that's because April didn't even look at me. Aw, crap, there's no forwarding address.

Emma : S....So then you've....you've had feelings for someone other than your wife.

Will : Emma, I'd love to play This Is Your Life, but... (Typing on his computer.) Lord Google demands my attention.

Emma rising.

Emma : Okay, just wait....wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Um, reaching back into your past is a dangerous business, okay? People can change. They can, um, disappoint you...

Will : I think I can handle it.

Emma : I thought I could, too. Just hear me out, hear me out. A few years ago, I started an online flirtation with a high school flame Andy. Things got weird, and I called it off. And two months later... ...Versace was dead. Dead.

Will returning to his computer.

Will : Okay.... April Rhodes... Ohio. Oh! She has a MySpace page.

Emma : Oh, God.

Emma placing behind Will.

Will : Oh, and here's a link to her own personal Web site. She's online. "Hi, April."Not sure if you remember me, but my name is Will Schuester."

Emma : 35 Bontempo Road, between 2:00 and 3:00.

Will : Oh! Oh!

Emma : Bring buffalo wings.

SCENE 6 : April House's- Will, April and the agent

Will be guarantor outside her home. Then he goes to his door and rings. It opens the door.

Will : April.

April : Hello. Are you Will?

Will : Y...You remember me?

April : Mm. No, but I don't remember breakfast.

Will and April, drunk, laughing.

April : Come on in.

Will enters a huge house.

April : So, did I sleep with you?

Will : Uh, I was a freshman when you were a senior.

April : So, did I sleep with you?

Will : No.

April : Can I get you a drink? I just cracked open a fresh box of wine.

Will, surprised, follows her.

Will : This is a-a great place you have. Uh, looks like you're doing well for yourself.

April : I get about five or six appointments on a good day from my World Wide Web page, so I do okay for myself.

April, returning with two glasses of wine and a smile.

April : Why don't you have a seat, take off that jacket, and I'm gonna slip into something a little more comfortable.

Three people entered the house this moment.

Will : Mm! ...

Agente : So, this is a beautiful five-bedroom

The agent and the couple were surprised to find people in the house.

Agente : ....with wood-burning fireplace and.... You. This is the third time this week.

Will : Who are you?

Agente : I'm Sandra with Oakcrest Realty. And she is a squatter. This is a bank- owned property. The owners foreclosed six months ago.

April : Let me just get my vino, and I'll be out of your hair. Hold that.

Will : Okay.

April went away.

Will : (Smiling) .... Just... Nice place.

Moments later, Will and April out on the sidewalk. While that April is used again to drink.

Will : Can I ask you a question?

April : Yeah.

Will : What happened to you, April? In high school, you were really going places. You had a voice like a dream; everyone loved you.

April : Oh. Oh, I hitched my star to the wrong wagon. Me and my high school sweetheart Vinny were convinced we were going to be stars, so we dropped out of school and hitchhiked our way to the Broadway.

Will laughs.

April : Then we ended up in Cleveland slinging hash at Ralph's Bait Shop and Waffle House. Then Ralph had an affair with Vinny. I had a set of mixed-race twins. And those were the good times. .... (Chuckles)... (Sighs)...

Will : April... I think your struggle is really moving. And I want to help you get back on your feet. I happen to know that you're only three credits shy of your diploma. I can put you in my Spanish class. And... I know you're an amazing singer. I want you to be in the glee club. We'll get you sobered up... find you some underwear. It's not too late for you, April. What do you say?

April, happy, spills his drink.

SCENE 7 : Repetition Hall's - Will, April and the Cast

Will facing the Glee Club with her friend, April.

Will : Guys, I'd like to introduce you to someone very special. This is April Rhodes. She's our newest member.

April is very enthusiastic.

Finn : Wait, so old people can join Glee Club now?

April : Old, huh? You guys look like the world's worst Benetton ad.

Will : Mm. Mm....

Artie : (Raising hand) Mr Schuester, this seems like a terrible idea.

Will : April is a great singer. And she never graduated.

Mercedes : We appreciate what you're trying to do, but she's no Rachel.

April : Who's Rachel?

Tina : Sh....She's kind of our star.

April : Your star, eh? Well, where is she?

Kurt : She left. to be the lead in Cabaret.

April : Hey, Tinkles, give me "Maybe This Time" in B flat. And don't let me catch you snoozing.

April and Rachel - Song : Maybe This Time

April, pointing to what she can do Cast. While Rachel, meanwhile, repeated his musical.

At the end of the song, while the Glee Club was so impressed that Kurt was in tears.

April : Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

SCENE 8 : Classroom - Will and April

Will, in full Spanish course, questioning students on the court.

Will : So, if I were to say, "I'm going to Mexico for the day," would I use "por" or "para"?

April raised her hand.

April : Mm...

Will : April.

April : «　Para　».

Will : «　Por　».

April : Oh. I guess I better pour myself another Crantini.

The students are laughing face Will embarrassed and worried that APRIL then smiled and drank his glass.

April : I'm just kidding. It's hot chocolate.

Ring.

Will : All right, remember, guys, oral reports Wednesday. April, can I talk to you for a second?

Students leaving out Will and April alone.

April : I'm sorry, Will. The old noodle just ain't what she used to be. I huffed a lot of upholstery cleaner in the '90s

Will : Look, April, I've been, uh, talking to the glee kids, and, um, I think they're still not so sure about having you around. You draw a lot of attention to yourself. And they're embarrassed enough as it is. So do you think you could maybe take some time and try to win them over?

April smiling.

SCENE 9 : Repetition Hall's - April and Kurt

April drinking Kurt .

April : Yeah.

Kurt : Mm, smells like my Aunt Mildred.

April : Just drink it.

Kurt running.

Kurt : Sweet. With a bit of an afterburny taste.

April : Oh, good Chablis should always have a little bite. Now, a few swigs of that every day before school, and you'll have all the courage you need to be yourself.

April pinching her cheeks.

Kurt : Really?

April : Oh, yeah.

Kurt : That's fantastic.

April : Mm, so is my primo collection of vintage muscle magazines. Want them?

April handing him the books he took with love.

SCENE 10 : Corridor - Kurt and Will

Ring - Kurt, with these magazines, speaks with Kurt.

Kurt : Mr Schuester, I changed my mind. April should stay. I worship her.

Kurt goes leaving Will, aghast.

SCENE 11 : Repetition Hall's - April, Mercedes and Tina

April showing the girls how to put objects hidden between their legs. But things fall.

April : Oh, no, you got to be more natural.

Tina : I c...can't do this.

Mercedes : I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place.

April : Your lack of imagination astounds me. This is only the beginning. If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees.

April, mini-skirt, slips a cabbage between those thighs and walk.

April : Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party. With the candles still lit.

Tina and Mercedes smiling facing April.

SCENE 12 : Will Office's - Will, Tina and Mercedes

Will, anxious face to Tina and Mercedes restyled.

Will : Are you sure?

Mercedes : She can stay.

Tina : T...t....Totally.

SCENE 13 : Cloakroom and corridor - April and Puck

April, the boys in the locker room, taking a shower with Puck.

Moments later, in the corridors, she jokes with the whole football team with Puck.

April : Ah! Ah! Ah! ... Don't tickle me.

Will she passes, stunned by this change in behavior of Glee Club.

SCENE 14 : Repetition Hall's - Sandy and Rachel

Rachel singing a song to Sandy dissatisfied.

Sandy : This is terrible..... This is a disaster..... I'm gonna barf. ...Boring!.... No, no, no, no, no!

Rachel stops singing.

Rachel : I don't know what you want.

Sandy : Well, I know what I don't want. And it is all of this. When I gave you this part, I thought you could handle it, but clearly you can't. What this show needs is a star with a little bit more maturity.

Rachel : I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to quit, so you can be the star. Well, it won't work. I'm not going anywhere.

Rachel goes to Sandy, stunned.

Sandy : .... I'll say.

SCENE 15 : Repetition Hall's - Finn, Rachel, April and Will

Finn and Rachel repeating the musical by Rachel.

Rachel : I'm sleeping with him.

Finn : So am I... (Surprised, he drops the text.) This play's weird.

Rachel : That's Mr. Ryerson's favorite line. You're a really good actor, Finn. Maybe you should consider joining the musical.

Finn : I'm pretty devoted to Glee. I don't think I could just walk away from it. I know how hard it was for you. But I could justify doing both if you came back. But we both know that's not gonna happen.

Finn approaching her.

Finn : ... Do you know what we should do?

Rachel : Elope?

Finn : What?

Rachel : Nothing.

Finn : We should go bowling. You're always so stressed out about the play. You just need to loosen up....(Trying his hand at her side at the piano.). I always go bowling whenever I'm worked up about a big game or something.

Rachel : Just us?

Finn : Yeah.

Rachel : Yeah, that....that....that would be great. I....I am really stressed out. But that's the price you pay for being a star.

Suddenly, April and Will enter.

April : Don't I know it.

Will : Hey,Rachel. April Rhodes, Rachel Berry. Hey, can you give us the room, Rachel? We need to teach April the cues for "Don't Stop Believing."

Finn : Wait, she's singing the female lead?

Rachel : Wait, she's in the glee club? She's... ancient.

April : Talent doesn't age, sweetheart.

Finn : That's Rachel's part, Mr Shue.

Will : Well, Rachel's not in the glee club anymore.

Rachel : Thanks, Finn.

Rachel went away.

Will : Rachel... We're all really excited to see the play. Make sure you save us a seat in the front row.

April moved while Rachel goes away, annoyed.

April : Me, me, me, me, me, me, me

Finn : You....you.....you....you....you...

Rachel looking through the glass unhappy.

#transcript #glee

0 notes

werewolfbansheelove · 4 months

Text

1X05 - The Rhodes Not Taken (P2)

SCENE 16 : Corridor - Kurt and Emma

Ring - Kurt, drunk, arrived at his locker. Then Emma perceives and feels the smell of alcohol. She approaches him.

Emma : Kurt? Hi.

Kurt's face turns pale and wan.

Emma : Kurt. I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.

Kurt approximating it from getting worse.

Kurt : Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters sh*t your mommy.

Kurt vomiting on the shoes of Emma.

Emma : Oh! ....

SCENE 17 : Rest Room - Will and Emma

Emma, petrified into the room and joined Will seated.

Will : Hey, Em. Just trying to figure out the set list for Saturday.

Emma : I just got back from the emergency room. Had them give me four decontamination showers. I think they call that "the full Silkwood."

Will : What happened?

Emma : Kurt was drunk and he ralphed on me. Not really fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not a fake ID, because he looks like an 11-year-old milkmaid. Will, I think it was April. Her backpack's always clinking with empties.

Will : I'm so sorry. I....I will, I'll talk to him.

Emma : Okay.

Will : Mm... (Sighing)

Emma sat down.

Emma : I'm, um, I'm a little bit worried about the glee club.

Will : So am I. I mean... (sighs) if we don't place at regionals, it...it's all over.

Emma : We have obligations as teachers, Will, to give kids opportunities for growth and enrichment. With April in Glee, you're taking away a kid's chance to grow, and you're giving it to someone whose brain is soaked in corn booze.

Will : April's not finished, Emma. And if Glee's gonna win, I need to give her a second chance. She is a talented performer and I really think that the kids are going to learn a lot of valuable technique from her.

Emma : Okay. But I think you need to think about... why you're doing this and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it.

Emma went away leaving Will meditate on these words.

SCENE 18 : Repetition Hall's - Sandy and Rachel

Sandy, angry typing stick to Rachel again.

Sandy : (Screaming)... You...suck!

SCENE 19 : WC - Rachel and April

Rachel weeping face in the mirror when between April.

April : Oh... Rough day at the office, cookie?

Rachel : I've just got a lot on my plate. It's not easy being in the spotlight.

April : Mm... (Now disguised)

Rachel : It's the difficult road I've chosen.

April : Yeah. I know that song, sister. Um, do you have any NyQuil? I could use a little pick-me-up.

Rachel, frightened, shaking his head.

April : No. These high school boys are a lot hotter than they used to be. That Finn Hudson is one cutie pie I gots my eye on.

Rachel : Finn's taken, April.

April : Yeah, well, some guys like a little somethin'...somethin' on the side.

Rachel : I think your behavior is totally inappropriate and your presence in this school is a complete travesty. What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but don't go around screwing up everyone else's.

April : I'm not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here. And now that I've got that back... I'm never letting it go.

April goes off leaving Rachel alone.

SCENE 20 : Bowling - Rachel, Finn, Will and April

Rachel face the balls, hesitantly, speaks with Finn.

Rachel : Do I have to put my fingers in the holes? Couldn't there be diseases in there or something?

Finn : Oh, no. Ball sharing's all part of the fun.

Finn taking a pink ball and handing her the ball.

Finn : ... Here, use the pink one. Pink's your favorite color, right?

Rachel, smiling, takes it.

Rachel : Now what?

Finn : Follow my lead.

Rachel and Finn settling face bowling. Finn behind her, placing his arms.

Finn : Okay, so... Just look at the pins. Nice and straight.

Rachel, helped by Finn, throwing the ball that lands in the reserve. Finn laughs.

Finn : You sure this is your first time?

Finn carting but she smiled. For their part, April plays and scores a strike against Will enthusiastic.

Will : Oh, ho....ho! April!

April : Woo-hoo!

Will : You see what you can accomplis when you're sober?

April : Sober? I'm rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers. I can't feel my lips. (laughing) Oh, you know... I think I'm going to keep these shoes. ( Drinking)

Will more and more exasperated.

Will : April... I brought you here because I need to talk to you.

April : Okay.

Will : I'm concerned that you're a bad influence on the glee club. I can't have you around if you're going to continue to encourage them to make bad choices.

April, surprisingly, is silent for a moment.

April : .... Well, you're right, Will. As of right now, I'm back on the wagon.

April, giving him his glass.

Will : Really? That's great.

Both laugh.

Will : I have to tell you something. I was in awe of you in high school. I mean, of all the roads I never traveled in my life, the one I regret the most was never... getting the chance to sing with you.

April : Really?

Will : Yeah. I mean, that's how you get better, you know? Singing with people who are better than you.

April : You really thought that much of me?

Will : April .... You are the reason I joined Glee Club.

April : No....(Embarassed) ... So, your dream was always to sing with me, huh?

Will : Yeah.

April : Well, then, come on.

Will : What?

April : Come on!

April involving Will karaoke bowling. She handing him a microphone

Barry : Hey, April, karaoke's on Wednesdays....tonight's bingo.

April : Shut your gravy hole, Barry.

Will (Micro) : Hey, guys, uh, happy gambling. Here we go.

Will and April - Song : Alone

On stage at karaoke, Will and April singing a duet with an audience very satisfied and reluctant to as.

April : Thank you!

Will takes it in the arm with an audience who applauded warmly. While on their side, Rachel and Finn are at the table eating a pizza.

Rachel : This is really good pizza.

Finn : Mm... Yeah. I think they import the pepperoni from, like, Michigan or something.

Rachel : How's Glee?

Finn : Oh, well, everybody misses you.

Rachel : They miss my talent.

Finn : No, no. We're your friends. We just miss having you around.

Rachel : I love Glee, I just... don't see the point in wasting my énergies on someplace that I'm not appreciated.

Finn : I appreciate you.

Finn rising sharply and handing him a ball.

Finn : It's your last ball.

Rachel rising in turn to join him.

Finn : Just like the first time, but better.

Rachel, ready, kiss the ball and throws it. She managed a strike.

Rachel : Ah! ...

Rachel was ecstatic, jumping around in the arms of which Finn. Suddenly, she kisses him.

Finn : Come back to Glee.

Rachel : What about Quinn?

Finn : I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I just know that I want to spend more time with you now.

Rachel : I'll....I'll have to quit the play. I'll do it!

Finn, surprised, takes her in his arms.

SCENE 21 : Repetition Hall's - Cast

The cast talking in a corner all cases Quinn.

Tina : She is strange.

Kurt : Maybe Quinn is lactose intolerant.

Artie : That doesn't explain all the crying.

Tina : Maybe she just doesn't like the group.

Puck, annoyed, listen away.

Puck : Are you all that stupid? Seriously? I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were just roommates. Maybe Quinn's got one in the oven.

Everyone is shocked.

Mercedes : Who's the baby's daddy?

Puck : Who do you think? Finn.

Rachel, happy at that moment between.

Rachel : Yes, you've heard right....I am returning to Glee Club. In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to a socially conscious charity of your choice.

Mercedes ( Whispering) : This is a hot damn mess.

Santana ( Whispering) : Oh! My God!

Rachel : Uh, I'm sorry; I thought I'd be welcomed back with a tad more enthusiasm.

Kurt : Sorry, Glee Club has just been rocked with its first scandal.

Mercedes : Quinn's knocked up.

Kurt : And the baby daddy? Finn.

Rachel, completely stunned, feels wrong.

SCENE 22 : Emma Office's - Finn and Emma

Finn, happy, hands over files to Emma.

Finn : I just wanted to drop off the application for that scholarship you were telling me about. I got Rachel to come back to Glee, so, I figure we have a real sh*t at it.

Emma : I'm so proud of you. See what you can accomplis when you set your mind to it?

SCENE 23 : Corridor - Rachel, Finn and Sue

Finn, happy, Rachel crosses, pissed.

Rachel : Finn.

Rachel slaps him.

Rachel : You're a liar. Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?

Finn : Who told you?

Rachel : Everyone knows but me. I'm the only fool who went out with you and let you kiss me, thinking you actually had feelings for me.

Finn : But I....I do. Look, yeah, I haven't been totally honest with you, but that's different than lying.

Rachel : Mm... (Sighing)

Finn : Well, maybe it's not that much different, but... but look, I need to get a music scholarship, so I can go to college, so I can get a good job, so I can take care of my kid and I can't do that if you don't come back to Glee Club. You should take it as a compliment.

Rachel : You could have just been honest with me.

Finn : ... Look, I know what I did was wrong. I get that, but... that kiss was real.

Rachel : Whatever it was, it ruined any chance of me ever coming back to Glee. I hope you have fun playing house with Quinn while you languish in your little ensemble, but my dreams are bigger than that and they're bigger than you.

Rachel goes to find Sue.

Rachel : Miss Sylvester. We need to talk. If you'd like to to return to the musical, changes need to be made.

Sue : Well, Rachel, I couldn't agree with you more. You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious. I hereby grant you complete artistic control. Congratulations, kiddo.

Rachel smiled and Sue.

Sue : ... You now have everything you could possibly want. Isn't it a great feeling?

Sue goes off leaving Rachel perplexed.

SCENE 24 : Repetition Hall's - Cast, Will, April and Emma

The cast repeating piano.

Cast : Mia.... Mia....Mia .... Mia .... Mia...........Mia....Mia.... Mia.... Mia....Mia....

Will interrupts.

Will : The house is packed... you guys are going to kick butt tonight. Your first performance in front of a real audience. I can't wait. You guys are going to love it.

The cast smiled at Will.

Will : Where...Where's April?

April arriving drunk.

April : Yee-haw! (laughing) Right on cue, as usual. Hey, roller-boy. Handsome. Oh, I like that color. Have you been working on the, uh, moves we talked... You've got something right there, on your...

April embracing Puck. Will it back up.

April : Uh, oh... Honk! There's my boy.

Will : Are you drunk? You promised me you'd sober up for this.

April : When? Last night? Well, I was drunk. You can't hold me to that.

Emma enter.

Emma : Hum! Hum! Will.

April : Hit it, knuckles. You... You....You...You...You...

Will and Emma out for a moment in the corridor to talk.

Emma : April Rhodes almost ran me over in the parking lot just now, Will. You can't let her go on in her condition.

Will : There is an auditorium full of people waiting to see us perform and if she doesn't go on, none of the kids can.

Emma : Wow. It's really great how committed you are to these kids.

Emma goes against Will, exasperated.

SCENE 25 : Auditorium - Figgins, le Cast and April

Figgins front of the room talking.

Figgins (Micro) : Now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome McKinley High School's New Directions.

The audience applauds the stage door.

April et le Cast - Song : Last Name

Despite the fact that April is drunk on stage, the cast performs a fine performance in front of a captivated audience.

SCENE 26 : Corridor - Will and April

Will, waiting in front of the girls' bathroom, so that April stops vomiting. Moments later, April leaves the toilet but Will intercepts.

April : Mm... Mm...

Will : I need to talk to you.

April : Sorry. Baby had to tinkle. Come on. Act two.

Will : No, I can't let you go back out there. You broke a promise.

April : ... You're right. It's a great moment for me, but it didn't feel right. I don't belong up there. But everybody desserves their moment in the spotlight, you know, to shine? Oh, I got that standing ovation, Will. And it felt amazing. Like every bad decision I'd ever made just went away. I was back in the game. But then I look over and I see these sweet faces of these kids and I think... "I'm hogging their sunshine. It's their turn now, not yours."

Will nodded.

April : ... They're so Lucky to have you, Will, because you won't let what happened to me ever happen to any of them.

Will : So, where you gonna go?

April : Well, um... I'm going to straighten up. Maybe try to find a new dream. You know, I always loved the Broadway.

Will : The Broadway.

Both laugh.

April : Do you think there's a part out there for a washed-up has-been like me?

Will : April, you are not washed-up. And hey, there's always Branson.

April : Will ... Will ... Will ...

April gives him a kiss on the cheek, happy when he takes her in his arms.

Will : Thank you.

April : Oh... (wry laugh) No, no, no. Thank you.

April away from him.

April : Branson, eh?

Will, happy, observed without going.

SCENE 27 : Wings - Cast and Will

All the cast dressed for the second half when Will enters. Artie falls on him.

Artie : They loved us! We're a hit.

Tina : Wh...Wh...Where's April?

Kurt : You were right, Mr Shue. She'd m*ssacre Mariah in a diva-off.

Will : April is amazing. But she's not in the glee club anymore.

Everyone is surprised.

Will : It... I, uh... I screwed up bringing her here. It was about me and Glee Club is supposed to be about you guys. You don't need her to be great.

Mercedes : But we need her for the second act.

Will : I'll just have to go out there and tell them we had to cut the show short.

Everyone is disappointed.

Will : Hey, guys. You were great. Don't worry.

Rachel enters at that moment.

Will : There will be other performances.

Rachel : Excuse me? I think I might have a solution. In show business, when a star can't perform, her understudy steps in. I'd be happy to go in for April, if you'd let me.

Mercedes : Since when are you willing to be an understudy?

Rachel : Since I quit the play.

Kurt : Really? Why?

Rachel : I realized being a star didn't make me feel as special as being your friend. If I'd let you down when you needed me the most, I'd never forgive myself. I know all the words to the song.

Quinn : You don't know the choreography.

Santana approving.

Finn : Then we're going to have to give her a lot of help out there.

Finn smiling to Rachel.

Will : Go get in your costume.

SCENE 28 : Auditorium - Cast and Will

Will joining Emma next to her seat.

Will : Excuse-me!

Emma, concerned when the cast joins the scene.

Cast - Song : Somebody to love

The entire New directions a hit on stage in front of an appreciative audience and won that Emma is very excited.

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