that.
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Jamie Varon
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no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s
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It is difficult to look alive every day
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Andrew Garfield on losing his mother, The Believer
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another life
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Buffet Etiquette, Hieu Minh Nguyen
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Jessica Katoff
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Mark Wolynn, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
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-i often wonder,
if everyone wakes up feeling empty,
if everyone is always a little bit sad.
i know i can’t possibly feel this way forever, but it feels like i already have.
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no one quite psychoanalyzes like daughters do when looking at their mothers
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Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals
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-there i was, another night spent wondering about what things would have been like had they stayed. scenarios so laughably far from reality it makes me sick to my stomach knowing they never happened. all of these people that i prayed would have stayed just a little while longer, and the only things i have left of them are false memories. i hate that i’m like this and i hate that none of it was real. i hate that you moved on and i hate that sometimes i can convince myself that you’re still here.
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12/29/21
to everyone else, my heart remains dormant. but you make it bleed my biggest fears.
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12/23/21
i’ll hold onto pieces of you, i’ll hold onto the memories you gave me but i will not hold onto you. i won’t claw at your skin and cling to your clothes for dear life while you try and walk away. i’ll stand there, and i’ll be silent. i’ll watch you slowly fade and i will let myself break however much i need to. i will let it hurt and i will miss you more than i care to admit, but i will never ask you to stay.
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