#'fuck you dad'

[moss-sprout]

#castle swimmer #i was just re-reading cs season 2 #and kappa really said #'fuck you dad' #icon #slay ig #oh and if you picked the second one you're right

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[frownyalfred]

my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.

Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.

#bruce wayne #batman #justice league #jl #dc #dc comics #when Clark tells you to go see batman you know you’re fucked #it’s like mom saying to go talk to dad #and dad is working in the basement with his tools swearing

[lazylittledragon]

more domestics to warm the soul <33

#art #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #until they sort out the daywalker thing he's getting the taako special #if you're not putting astarion in fabulous outfits then what are you doing #also fuck you astarion for being the only fictional man that i can't Dad #that man would throw an orphan into a volcano for one corn chip #it is so important to me that dorian's eyes look like he's never had a thought

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[everyone-calm-down]

Yeah yeah yeah, The Boy and the Heron was amazing. The themes, the art, the Robert Pattinson. I AM going to choose to focus on the fact that this guy waited seemingly less than a year after his wife died to get his sister-in-law pregnant tho.

#the boy and the heron #hayao miyazaki #studio ghibli #like what the fuck #I couldn’t get over that #mahito handled that tidbit with a level of grace that I will never hope to have #dad why are you KISSING my aunt

[bigfatbreak]

adrien in the dad-villain!au is going thru a special kind of bullshit in 100% knowing what marinette's situation feels like, and not being able to tell her so.

#dad villain au #my art #adrien "i know what you feel and also im in love with you but you're a marinette from a new timeline' agreste #is really FUCKING going through it right now

[purrvaire]

they're so in love im gonna throw up real quick

#in my defence i had warned you i was going to be the most annoying fucker on earth #what the fuck guys this is too much for my brain to process #they're so in love i want to jump from the balcony #LOOK AT THEM #this is after the blitz and aziraphale had the courage to say CROWLEY was going too fast #MY ANGEL IN CHRIST YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO GIGGLE AND TWIRL YOUR HAIR YOURSELF #michael sheen commiting to make the softest warmest most loving eyes every chance he gets #what and i cannot stress this enough the fuck #my dads (real) #tumblr text meme #tumblr text posts #good omens season two #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #user purrvaire

[theerurishipper]

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Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Masterpost

#DC #DCU #DC Comics #Dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Wally West #Donna Troy #Roy Harper #Bruce Wayne #Nightwing #Batman #Robin #Red Robin #Flash #Arsenal #Birdflash #If you feel so inclined. It doesn't really make a difference #Garth is here he's just not on twitter because he's smart #He was looking over Wally's shoulder for this whole exchange and was the one who typed up Wally's last tweet #I just realized that both of Dick's handles are too long... but fuck it I'm keeping them anyway #Also Lian chose Roy's twitter name and she likes to say her dad's name so that's why it's there three times

[sutorus]

this is best friend’s dad!toji and reader

#✩.ramble #✩.bsf’s dad!toji #don’t get me wrong like #i love pos toji i do #but dad toji who starts trying to be better #but then you start making eyes at him???? #the temptationnnn #like #my son finally talks to me again but now i wanna fuck his lil best friend :( #sorry sorry

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT #Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here #his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’ #Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is #dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother #his build certainly makes him look old enough #if you don’t look at his baby face lol #Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode #Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction #Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd #jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd #while clutching Damian like his life depends on it #for all he knows it does #the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby #Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T #jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY #hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again #it’s not gonna hold for long #but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH #Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl #or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son #running away from him #and clutching a tiny kid #prompts #jason todd #batfamily #Damian wayne #batdad #brucie wayne

[stellerssong]

Tell us the sex stone joke

so this joke requires the light setup of, as the Resident Geologist, on any given hike my dad will have been subjected to a light barrage of Hey What's This Rock I Just Picked Up Off The Trail, answers ranging from "that's clearly serpentinite, the state rock of California—note the distinctive gray-green color and soapy texture" to "that's probably a local mudstone" to "that is a piece of concrete" to "that is tanbark."

the joke typically runs as follows:

you, presenting an interesting pebble for identification: hey, what's this rock i just picked up off the trail? my dad, after a few seconds of thoughtful examination: ah, interesting. what you have there is what's known as a "sex stone." you, slightly shocked by the apparent erotic provenance of what you thought was a random rock: oh! okay. i see. thanks. my dad, slyly: would you like to know why they call it that? you: um. yes? my dad: BECAUSE IT'S JUST A FUCKING ROCK.

#chatter #asks #my delight when i achieved an age at which my dad could finally tell me this joke in its uncensored form was notable i have to admit #imagine being the Designated Rock Identifier in a family with curious and scientifically-minded youthes and having this joke in pocket #and knowing if you say the fuck word to them you will immediately be executed by all of your in-laws. so tragic.

[audhd-nightwing]

things in DC canon i’ll literally never get over

1. dick finds out batman replaced him as robin (without asking him) from the NEWSPAPER and simultaneously finds out bruce adopted a new kid without telling him (to make things worse: bruce didn’t even adopt dick)

2. dick finds out jason died from the newspaper (AGAIN? REALLY BRUCE?) and bruce had the fucking funeral WITHOUT HIM while he was still in space

#i’m only like 80% sure these are fully canon btw #correct me if i'm wrong #dc comics #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #robin!jason #batman #batman comics #nightwing #batman and robin #ok yes ik there’s a reason bruce didn’t adopt dick #aka he didn’t want to replace dick’s father #but imagine being a teenager and your foster dad adopts a kid without even telling you #and then giving him YOUR name without asking #like no one would feel great about that #i will never forgive bruce for not telling dick jason died / having the funeral without him #though i do love some yummy angst #where hood!jason yells at dick for not even being at the funeral #and dicks like ‘i was still in fucking space!’ #like yes bruce was grieving but BRO thats ur other son come on

[noxcheshire]

I kept thinking of little baby man Phantom and the potential of Danny being an actual baby of the Infinite Realms. However, he’s more snake teenager than itty bitty Little Baby Man edition, cause I think it’d be so funny to just — imagine this teenage snake curled up in a summoning circle, obviously having been taking a nap and looking up with his big green, sleepy eyes and Constantine just stares and freaks because, “THATS A WHOLE ASS BABY, PUT IT BACK!”

But they can’t because apparently the summoning was more of a ‘knock knock I’m a babysitter’ and Danny’s ghost parent decided that this was the perfect time to have some time for themselves if Heroes were so willing to take care of Danny for a little while.

Another take — mainly in reference to a different post about Klarion actually just being a toddler of the infinite realms with no ideas on how to human and thinks him fighting with heroes is just a play date — zooms into the human realm where the heroes are and just goes, “Hey I’m dropping my baby sibling onto you guys cause my dad got mad last time Danny got hurt by the humans I hang with. So here you go, I’ll pick him up later.”

A teenage snake Danny is dropped into a hero’s arms where he mainly grumbles and then shifts to better take a nap. Klarion drops the baby essentials at them with no further explanations other then “here’s their favorite blanket, if they get fussy taco them; here’s the baby milk make sure it’s -200 F, they have an ice core, etc.” and then just DISAPPEARS after leaving what amounts to a month old infant in human heroes care.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #dp x dc prompt #Klarion: so here’s a baby for you to babysit :) #heroes: YOU CANT JUST LEAVE A BABY #Constantine: I’m not going to DIE BECAUSE SOMEONE TRANSLATED A CHILDS PLAYPEN INTO SOME LITTLE PRISON #Constantine: you fools this baby will make and break us #Danny who does the cat tongue thing and sleeps #Danny is a baby but for the comedic effect he still looks like a teenager but no legs and all snake #idk who dad is but they sure as hell are gonna be big as fuck #Klarion is Danny’s brother either way #Klarion is 6 years old #is the baby powder just pure kryptonite? #maybe #all supers are weak against Infinite Realm baby milk #yes it’s going to be funny if a super tries to get the baby powder and immediately drops #Danny will fuss if he isn’t held immediately #he will also fuss if he isn’t fed on time and will make it everyone else’s problem #dying wail is still a thing and the heroes are absolutely floored when it first happens #heroes: THE BABY IS DYING?! #Danny: GIVE ME MILK! >:(

[jaded-ghoster]

rest in peace, beloved dad for one theory

#truly the end of an era #so many fics #so many headcanons #a part of me is gone now #but also thank fucking god can you guys imagine how deku would have to deal with THAT #mha #bnha #mha leaks #bnha leaks #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #mha manga leaks #bnha manga leaks #mha manga spoilers #mha 410 #bnha 410 #dad for one

[atiglain]

One thing to know about me is that I also have an annotated copy of the illiad. It’s an abridged version from my childhood and every time Hector’s name is mentioned it’s surrounded by glitter-gel pen hearts bc he was my first crush as a child.

#When I hit my ankle in a scooter and my dad came over he was like oh you hit your Achilles tendon! And I was like my What. And he was like #Achilles tendon! And I was like don’t say that to me. #The scene where hectors is dragged around by Achilles was super fucked up because that was my BOYFRIEND #AND YOU KILLED HIM