#* ( crack. ) fuck you goatman

[calliopechild]

Me at the concept of the Rise boys being extremely resilient supersoldiers when it comes to fight scenes: awesome, showstopping, extremely badass.

Me at the same concept when it means an utterly criminal lack of sickfics because we’ve all collectively agreed these boys are common cold-proof: fucking goatman, this is absolute horseshit.

#'well but the rat flu episode--' yes but i want whumpy hurt/comfort sickfics not 'someone's tripping on nyquil' crack #'well then write your own--' i am TRYING #fucking draxum made these boys ford fucking tough and i am scraping the bottom of the barrel #trying to come up with vaguely plausible scenarios for them getting sick or poisoned #i want these boys to have sniffles and colds and headaches and they're too damn STURDY ffs #over here trying to slam germ theory into cartoon logic just to try and wrangle leo into having the damn flu or some shit. outrageous #'you could just wing it--' i could not. no one's plot holes are safe from my type a brain especially not my own #hashtag writer problems #(also i'm over here rolling bc 'fucking draxum' is a popular tag. we all have some kind of beef with the goatman) #rottmnt

[justwannasin]

A cracked, dry voice laughed from behind the goat mask, the large man grabbing both of her arms and pulling them back while he fucked her cunt. " Gonna make you and your honeypot mine, Bitch!" the goat man shouted at her, briefly letting go of one of Zoe's arms t slap the back of her head before grabbing her arm again. " Your cunt's nice an' warm, Bitch-feels too fuckin' good 'round my cock! Why-" the goatman grunted as he fucked her, the sound of her ass smacking against him ringing out into the empty forest, "-I might just keep you alive, if I like your cunt enough, Bitch. You already passed one test-I fuckin' love brunettes!" The goatman let go of Zoe's arms and pushed her back down into the dirt, grabbing onto the sides of her hips as he grunted, fucking her as hard as he could. " You're honeypot feels so fuckin' nice, Bitch..." The goatman commented as he slapped Zoe's ass.

zoe cried out, but he was holding her tightly, firmly. he fucked her hard and brutally, and zoe could only shout for help, the tears of fear streaming down her cheeks. "please, please, i'll do anything, just don't kill me!" she whimpered, and while it hurt when he fucked her now, she still struggled what she could.

if she could get out of this alive, she'd do anything and everything. zoe didn't want to die.

"y-yes, fuck me, okay? okay yeah, you can--you can do that, sure. mm-hmm..." she wasn't sure what she was saying, why it didn't bother her that he called her BITCH... zoe just wanted to live so if that meant being a sex toy for this masked madman, then so be it.

"ah!" she cried out again when he pushed her more into the dirt. she spit out some that managed to get in her mouth as she'd landed face first. her hair splayed all over her face, her hands grasping at whatever she could, zoe tried to keep from kicking out at him and potentially angering him.

"i'll do it, okay. yes, i'll--whatever you want, just please don't kill me."

#( asks ) #muse; zoe #( n. s. f. w. )

[baddcop]

Gavin is Shane in buzzfeed unsolved until something paranormal actually happens then he squeals and becomes Ryan, no I will not take constructive criticism on this--

#gavin: FUCK YOU GOATMAN #door: slams #gavin: OH FUCK THAT OOOO NOP NOPE NOPE *runs out* #* [ crack. ] » ⟨ 𝙥𝙝𝙘𝙠 𝙢𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙚. ⟩ #* [ queue. ] » ⟨ 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙. 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤. ⟩

[dear-ao3]

i must've missed something. what's buzzfeed unsolved? buzzfeed's a pretty sucky company so i don't know how they could make anything that entertaining

buzzfeed unsolved is the only good thing about buzzfeed and after it finishes its last season this year I'm about 98% positive that buzzfeed itself will go under within 2 years.

its a YouTube series that was started in 2016 and the hosts are ryan bergara, the creator of the show and person who actually does all the work, and shane madej, the guy who just shows up and cracks some jokes.

there's two versions of the show, supernatural (where the investigate haunted places) and true crime (where they go through cold cases).

the show itself is absolutely fucking hilarious because of the way that the two of them host it.

ryan is absolutely terrified of ghosts, demons, anything supernatural, bears, and pretty much anything "old" (according to shane anyway). he is also a firm believer in all things paranormal.

shane on the other hand thinks all of it is bullshit. he goes into places and taunts demons and ghosts, regularly begs for entities to scratch him, rip his heart out, haunt him, kill him, all of that good stuff. his only two fears are avocado pits and accidentally getting addicted to heroin.

in short, they are the internets paranormal bad boys.

you may recognize them from this reaction image:

that is shane on the left and ryan on the right. and this is from the jonbenet ramsey episode.

the two of them do some pretty wild shit on the show:

-ryan filled a water gun with holy water when investigating the goat mans bridge in texas.

-in the same episode, to try and lure goatman out, shane said this, while dancing on goat mans bridge: "goatman I'm dancing on your bridge, its my bridge now! you want me off this bridge you're gonna have to kill me, you're gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself! look at the way i dance on it, i disrespect your bridge goatman. me and ryan bergara own your bridge now!...goatman! they're going to put my name in graffiti! children will come here and tell tales of me!" this then prompted so many people to try and change the goat mans bridge wikipedia to shane and ryans bridge that it is now a locked wiki page.

-literally every bit of evidence that ryan scrounges up about ghosts, shane immediately blames on the wind, or a shoe squeaking

-they tried to lure out bigfoot with beer

-shane has often encouraged people to eat the rich

-shane laid on a pentagram and yelled "here we go! rock and roll buckeroo!" while ryan was cowering in the corner

-ryan screamed like a madman during a solo investigation of the old city jail, even going as far as to curse out a chair. they could hear him from outside.

-when asked if shane was disappointed that they didn't know who killed jfk, he said that he wasn't and that if it was a conspiracy group they did a good job because its unsolved

-ryan is 5'10. shane is 6'4. shane makes short jokes about ryan CONSTANTLY

-generally they laugh disrespectfully at everything

-ryan thought that hair grew out of the skull

-during an investigation once shane yelled at the ghosts "i went to college you know! and my major was not ghost hunting! i think that's obvious!"

and they say fun stuff too:

from the goatman episode

from the mothman episode

i do not remember what episode this ones form

from the michelle von emster episode

from the black dahlia revisted

and then shane also came up with a whole saga called the hot daga about a hot dog witch and a lesbian holographic corn and some french fries named gene who sings in a band and mike soup all trying to save the universe from being blown up but that's neither here nor there.

#not a tag #from saph #buzzfeed unsolved

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards pt. II

Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III

(Technoblade x reader)

Technoblade had told you to wait so that’s exactly what you planned on doing. You didn’t move from your spot by the door, even as Techno chased Tommy around his home. They were shouting the entire time arguing about things like whose house this was and how Tommy was a raccoon for stealing his stuff.

Eventually, the two settled down and all three of you sat by the fire, Techno stood awkwardly next to you before you patted the spot on the couch beside you. He looked relieved and sat by your side, Technoblade tentatively put a hand on your knee and squeezed it tenderly.

“I guess I owe you an explanation...for that thing.” He motioned to Tommy who made a baffled noise of protest, assumingly insulted by being referred to as a ‘thing.’

“Please.” You nodded at him and he looked at you with a downcast expression. Technoblade cleared his throat before taking a deep breath, he began to retell his tale for you. He started way back, like all the way back to when orphans killed his parents back. He talked about the voices and assured you that they never would tell him to hurt you, or anything of the sort. You frowned a little and reassured the half pigman that you didn’t assume that was the case and that you didn’t think any different of him because of the voices. If Tommy wasn’t in the room you think Techno might’ve gotten a little choked up, if his glassy eyes had anything to say about how he felt.

As he got deeper into the story he shared about the two fallings of L’manburg the first one under the dictatorship of a goatman named Schlatt, and the other due to their other ‘brother,’ Wilbur blowing it sky high. You were also informed Wilbur was still wandering the world as a ghost who was now dubbed Ghostbur.

Tommy would interrupt every so often and put his two sense into the story. Many of his interjections included how horrible your boyfriend was for betraying them so many times and how he only wanted chaos. He also made it very clear how utterly shocked he was that you’ve never heard of their country or it’s rich history.

Now, it was no shock to you that Technoblade hated the government. That was never a secret he tried to hide. He always made it very clear he had a distaste for them and their ideas, and overtime you couldn’t help but agree with him especially now, after hearing his story. Tommy seemed to grow increasingly uncomfortable as Technoblade talked about the festival; you watched the boy wither a little seeing how passionate Techno was about slaughtering all his friends. He talked a bit more in depth about Schlatts death, the ultimate betrayal by the revolutionary leader Wilbur, and how Technoblade was furious they would dare try to start a new form of government right in front of him. He looked like he had more to say about that part of the story but wasn’t to keen on sharing it with Tommy, you guessed he probably felt betrayed by the ones he considered friends. You would feel that way at least considering he was honest with them about his ideals from the very beginning of the war.

“Then I ran away to retire, and I met you.” Technoblade sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I never meant to...be with you romantically. A trade partner sure, I never thought I’d have the time for anything romantic. Didn’t even know I was capable but...god- I’m so glad I met you-“

“Simp!” Tommy shouted pointing an accusing finger at Techno who glared at him.

“Don’t you have a tower to build!”

“Is that permission I hear?” Tommy sang happily jumping up from his seat by the fire. Technoblade made an horrified face but you squeezed his hand that was on your knee. Almost as if to say let him go we need to talk, his eyes widened a little as he stared at you. He didn’t say anything as he watched Tommy run out the door with a wicked smile on his lips. Technoblade swallowed a little and grabbed your hand with both of his,

“He’s gonna ruin our real estate value Princess.” A wonky smile spread across his face as he did his best to crack a joke.

“As if we’d ever sell this place. It’s your retirement home old man.”

“Charming.”

You chuckled softly hiding a small smile behind your hand, and watched as a genuine one spread across his face as well. You lifted his callused knuckles to your lips and kissed them tenderly,

“Bubs…” Your voice was tender and adoring “I love you.” Techno’s entire face went cherry red, you both never uttered I love you’s before, you could tell he was having a crisis. You could only imagine what the voices were telling him to do or say.

Specifically: ‘SAY IT BACK, YOU’RE A SIMP, I LOVE YOU TOO, GOD THE CONFIDENCE,THAT’S SO HOT.’

Instead your lovely boyfriend went, “Ha. Cringe.”

The look you gave Technoblade was scathing. “Try again.” You growled your eyes narrowed into slits.

“I love you too. I mean obviously.” Technoblade cleared his throat pulling his hands away to awkwardly punch you in the shoulder. This time satisfied with his answer you moved forward and grabbed the chains of his cape pulling him close. You pressed your lips to his and he made a surprise noise before kissing you back, his hands fell on your lower back and he pulled you closer. You smiled into the kiss before pulling back and poking him on the nose, “oh also I was executed today.”

“YOU WERE WHAT!?” Technoblade flinched and shushed you with his finger.

“It’s okay, I’m alive see.” Your hand was placed on his chest in a matter of moments, you felt his heart beating steadily under your hand, “Technoblade never dies baby.~”

“I hate you. That ever happens again you call me. I’ll kill them for you.” You huffed holding his cheeks between your palms, he only nodded a love struck look falling across his face,

“You’re so cute when you talk about slaughtering our enemies.” He gave a chuckle brushing your hair behind your ear, your smile only widened. You kissed him again before you glanced out the window only to see Tommy trying to build the base of a cobblestone tower,

“So… Tommy huh? Is he staying with us?”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I think so, he seems…lost and lonely.” You frowned, sadly biting your lower lip, “he’s my son now.” The face Technoblade made was priceless; it was a perfect mix of anger and disgust.

“Never say that in my presence ever again.”

“Fine, fine.” You turned to smile back at him, “anything else you need to share with me?” He looked thoughtful for a moment before standing on his own two feet, he held his hand out to you. You took it without hesitation and he pulled you too your feet, he kissed your cheek softly before grabbing a button out of his ender chest.

“First we have wrangle Tommy princess, think you can handle that?”

“Sure I can.” You smiled as you both walked outside, “HEY! Tommy come here for a minute!”

“Sure thing Ms Blade!” He shouted back loudly and Technoblade made a baffled sound that sounded like, ‘EHHH.’

“How come he listens to you!?”

“I guess he just likes me better.”

“Cringe.”

“Fuck off.” You scoffed as Tommy ran up to the both of you, “Techno has something else he’d like to share with us.” Tommy groaned loudly,

“Not more sharing.”

“It’s more like showing you something. You’re so ungrateful.” Technoblade hissed pulling Tommy along as you trailed a little ways behind them your sword bouncing on your hip. Eventually the three of you ended up in front of a stone wall, you and Tommy both looked a little confused.

“Bubs I love you but this is a wall.”

“BUBS.” Tommy wheezed and you shot him a look whacking him in the arm, as Technoblades face went bright red. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” He cleared his throat “Do go on.”

Technoblade grumbled under his breath for a moment before clearing his throat and straightening his posture. His speech giving posture, is what you noticed. Tommy seemed to take it in an entirely different way though,

“You’re not gonna kill me are you?”

“What- no! Tommy if I was gonna kill you don’t you think I would’ve done it by now?” Techno scoffed placing the button on the wall, you tilted your head to the side curiously. He motioned to the button and Tommy looked at him hesitantly before pressing it, loud whirring was heard as the stone walls were pulled down from the mountain. You and Tommy’s jaws both dropped down onto the floor, Techno entered and grinned enthusiastically. “WELCOME HOME THESEUS!” He tossed his hands in the air with a dazzling flourish you ran inside the bunker and turned to smile at Tommy who was shrieking loudly behind you. Technoblade slung an arm around your waist and pulled you flush against him, he smiled down at you excitedly.

“This is going to be the start of a wonderful partnership.”

~~~

Thank you for reading! Lemme know your feedback and maybe I’ll do a pt. III??? 👀 Stay safe! ❤️

#dreamsmp x reader #dream smp #technoblade x reader #technoblade #blood for the blood god #tommyinnit #x reader #mcyt #minecraft fanfiction #rp #fanfiction #fanfic #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you

[writing-dead-clovers]

My Not So Scary Monster (Monster AU!Schlatt x abused!child!GN!Reader)

Mentions of abuse, drugs, alcohol, death, and murder. If this bothers you, please feel free to avoid this story. Brief mention of cutting and blood.

Schlatt sighed as he flipped through his file for the night. He had some kid tonight which honestly irked him. He was an S grade Adult class monster! Why the hell was he being assigned a child? He's Schlatt the motherfucking Goatman, he's the literal embodiment of the fucking devil. Tossing his file on the counter, he picked up a glass of whiskey. No use in bothering to be sober with this bullshit, right? He downed the glass before setting it down and setting up his station for his task. The male took a minute to make sure he had the black face paint set up under his eyes and the gold rings around his polished horns were in place.

The male shoved the door open and stepped into the kid's closet. Or what should have been a closet. Ignoring the mess, he pushed the closet door open, and was immediately taken back by the foul, telltale smell of drugs. The hell kind of parents do drugs around their kid? More importantly where was the kid? They definitely weren't in the makeshift abomination of a bed in the corner of the room on the floor. Schlatt's ears perked up slightly at the sound of footsteps, taking the chance to hide in the closet. Peeking through the cracks of the door, he watched a child, no older than 10, flop onto the makeshift bed in the corner. He grinned, knowing this would probably be an easy job. Taking a step out, he grinned, his teeth shining and on full display.

"Tough day, runt?" He taunted. The child didn't even lift their head up to look at him, just lifting their arm up to flip him off. "Get fucked, and take your shitty monster friends with you." The kid shot back. Schlatt had to hold back a snort at the response. "Aw, what's the matter, buttercup? Did mommy and daddy not give you your toy back?" He taunted. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all, I hate my parents. And third of all-" The child started as they got up, stopping at the sight of the faun monster. "The fuck are you supposed to be?" That took him by surprise. This kid had to be joking. Schlatt rolled his eyes, before tilting his head in a creepy manner. "Some call me the Goatman, some call me the Devil, it's all just fancy names." His signature devilish smirk playing on his lips. "Okay, and?" He blinked for a moment, not expecting that response. "You... you really don't get it do you kid?" He asked. "What? Am I supposed to be scared or something?" "You know for a 10 year old, you're quite rude." "I'm 10 and a half." He put his hands up in mock defense. "My apologies, runt. 10 and a half." The kid rolled their eyes at him. "What do you want?" Schlatt grinned, ready to pull his signature move. "Hmm, how about your soul?" He asked, widening his eyes, so the bright ruby orbs would glow in the moonlight as he tilted his head. "If I had one, I'd give it to you." "Edgelord much, kid?" Schlatt huffed, clearly getting bested by this kid. "Why are you here?" The kid asked, sitting criss-cross style. "I'm supposed to be scaring you." The kid released a huff of air. "It's a lot harder to scare me than you think, Goatman." "And why's that, runt?" The kid looked up at him, terror dancing in their eyes for a split second as they said something so quietly. "Mind repeating that?" He asked, putting a hand to his ear. "I said-" "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO, YOU FUCKING MORON?!" Someone yelled from another room in the house. Schlatt glanced at the door then back to the kid who had disappeared. "The hell did you go?" He asked. A quick tug on his suit jacket had him turning to the closet. The child looked terrified as they gripped his jacket, watching their bedroom door. That's when it clicked in Schlatt's mind. The shitty room, the cursing 10 year old, the smell. The kid was in a bad home. Schlatt felt his anger rising as he turned to the kid. "Stay in the closet, don't come out until I say so." He said quietly. "What? Wait, what are you going to do?" The child asked in a small voice. "Be quiet." He said before stomping to the door and flinging it open.

He made his way down the hall of the shitty home, the foul stench getting stronger as he walked. Two people where sitting on a couch in a messy livingroom. He smirked as he stepped into the room. He tilted his head and did his signature smile. "Hello there~" Shrieks filled the house as the woman on the couch rushed to get off it, the man glaring at Schlatt. "The fuck are you? Did that little mistake bring you here?" The insult made the ram's blood boil. He reached a sharp nailed hand for the man's throat. "Oh no, that innocent little thing had nothing to do with this, my dear bastard." Schlatt grinned wickedly. He squeezed the man's throat, feeling the pulse quicken and eventually stopping. He lifted his hand free, wiping it on his jacket before turning to hunt the woman down. His ears perked up upon hearing the child scream. He made his way to the room, catching the woman throwing the child to the ground. Schlatt was quick to charge in and attack her. He laughed, his coil of sanity breaking the second she had touched the little one. He stood up, wiping the blood off his face. He turn to the child who was curled up into a corner, shaking like a leaf. Schlatt took a second to calm himself down before approaching the child. "You alright, runt?" The looked up at him, tears streaking down their face. The ram bent down, reaching out to them. They flinched away from him, squeaking out a string of apologies. "Hey, hey, shh. It's okay." He said with a surprising amount of softness. If people who knew him at work saw this, they would definitely be running off with it. Schlatt wiped the tears away from them. "Look kid, I'm not leaving you here. So, you wanna come with me?" He offered. Schlatt had a human rescue license so he couldn't get in trouble for bringing them with him. "Where are you going to take me?" "I'll be taking you to my home. You'll be safe there. Trust me." They nodded. "Alright, there's just one little thing we have to do. It's called a blood pact, where I'm from, it binds you to a person and makes them your family. Are you okay with that?" "Will it hurt?" "I'll be honest, it will but just for a split second, okay?" The child nodded, letting him take the hand up to his horn. He scraped it against the point earning a wince from the little one. "Yeah, it hurts. Sorry kiddo." Schlatt apologized as he scraped his hand open. He pressed his bleeding hand to theirs and apologized to them as they hissed at the feeling. Schlatt took the handkerchief from his coat pocket and pressed it to the kid's hand. "What's your name kid?" "I... I don't have one. They called me a mistake all the time." Schlatt gritted his teeth slightly. "How about Y/n? How does that sound?" The child looked up at him, seemingly thinking about the name, before nodding. Schlatt smiled, checking to see if the bleeding had stopped, before tying the cloth around his new child's hand. He reached over and helped the kid up. "Ready to go home, kid?" The child nodded. He lead them through their closet, making sure they didn't look at the body of their dead birth parent. "Just hold on tight, alright kiddo?" Y/n nodded as Schlatt lead them through the portal.

His feet hit the ground before theirs did, but upon their feet touching the ground, monsters had surrounded them, curious as to why Schlatt had brought back another with him. Barking curses at them, he lead his new child out the facility and to a safe place, Phil's office.

"Phil, I did a thing. Where's Tubbo?" Schlatt said loudly. The teen in question turned around in his seat to look at his father, gasping at the little kid behind him. "Is that a child?!" The teen asked, immediately going to introduce himself to his new sibling. "Schlatt, the hell mate?" "Shut up, they're mine." Schlatt huffed. Y/n glanced around the office, before locking eyes with their new brother. "Hi! I'm Tubbo! I'm your big brother!" "I'm... I'm Y/n." "That's such a cool name! Did Dad give it to you?" The child smiled and nodded. Schlatt felt his chest swell with pride at his new addition immediately getting along with their brother. He looked to Phil, who had a raised brow. 'I'll tell you later.' Schlatt mouthed, earning an understanding nod from the blonde.

#schlatt x you #schlatt x reader #schlatt x y/n #schlatt fanfic #mcyt fanfic #mcyt fanfiction #fear family #fear family series #fear family story

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Eddie: Hey there, demons, it's me. Ya boy.

-

Buck: I'm gonna be so pissed off if we die.

-

Buck: I've connected the two dots.

Eddie: You didn't connect shit.

Buck: I've connected them.

-

Eddie: Steal from the rich. Do it.

-

Eddie: Fuck you, Goatman... this is my bridge now!

-

Buck: Are ghosts real?

Eddie: *shakes his head*

-

Buck: Hello and welcome to, uh, what's this show called again?

-

-Quarantine Anon

The dots is one of my favorite quotes and one I use frequently when I'm on one of wild theories or ideas.

I'm cracking up at all of these. The energy is just...wild and I love it.

#anon #ask box #quarantine anon #911 #buddie #buzzfeed unsolved

[wheezingghoulbois]

knowing that Shane wants to be small (and how Ryan and Steven encourage this at every opportunity) going back to BFU-SPN and seeing the tiny cracks in the UnflappableTM persona, like playing with the plane!, are delightful

we stan seeing shane opening up and being more vulnerable and honest here 💖💕✨💕💖 i just really love how we are all moving past the “robot” persona that he had on bfu. Watcher really has allowed us to see Shane’s full personality- his unhinged creativity, his awkwardness, his kind demeanor! like i don’t think i would have believed you if you told me a year ago that the dude who ran around saying FUCK YOU GOATMAN on a bridge is the same man who is absolutely gleeful when talking about his lil’ puppet theater that he made from scratch. It’s just... so nice and refreshing to see 😊💖✨💖

#i dont really talk about shane as much as i talk about ryan and steven lmao #but we do STAN shane madej in this household #and shane appreciation is always nice #let that man become a rat and live out his ratatouille dreams #asks #Anonymous

[thesnowqueen]

Top 5 Unsolved quotes/moments?

ohhhhh damn this is hard.

1. “as we snuff these candles, so too do we snuff you from this mortal world” *blows out candle* “you fuckin wimp” (shane, goatman’s bridge)

2. the whole “i’m the phantom of the skyyyyyyyyy” part (d.b. cooper)

3. shane’s "fuck you goatman” monologue on the bridge

4. shane asking the demons to turn on the flashlights in the kitchen of the sallie house and the basement of bobby mackey’s

4.5 (ugh i forgot this one but already wrote the others) “we’re here for the cult stuff” (shane, goatman’s bridge (that was a really good episode))

5. any time ryan proposes a completely outlandish theory and shane’s not having it (specifically: bermuda triangle, roanoke, gloria ramirez)

6. (because i do what i want and there’s too many to just pick 5) all of the bear vs. shark fights

7. (there’s so many good ones!) when they crack open a cold one with bigfoot

and i feel like i’m forgetting one

(also total sidenote, but i think a lot about how unsolved and supernatural are 2 of my favorite things, and how my favorite person, taylor swift, would hate both of those, knowing how much she hates being scared and generally spooked)

#i-knew-ewe-were-trouble #buzzfeed unsolved

[bending-sickle]

hello! idk if this is a dumb question but i've grown quite fond of the buzzfeed unsolved boys just from seeing your posts lol and wanted to ask - where should i start with their series? which episodes would you recommend?

Oh I got you, boo.

Okay So The Basics:

There’s two main shows of Buzzfeed Unsolved: 1) Supernatural and 2) True Crime. They’re idependent of each other so whichever floats your boat is a good place to start. Each episode is also self-contained so watching them in order isn’t required.

There’s also adjacent Buzzfeed shows and new shows on the boys’ own network Watcher (discussed at the end).

On the Boys: The presenter is Ryan and he’s all about them conspiracies and aliens and the tall boy is Shane who is all about skepticism and logic (but has massive chaotic energy). Fans who lean towards the former’s way of thinking are “Boogaras” and those who lean towards the laters’ are “Shaniacs”.

The Watching:

As stated above, order-shmorder. However, they’re all wholesome and good so like, watching them all won’t hurt. Have you got time? Do you need a giggle? Get thee that playlist and go forth!

Supernatural - episode list with links

Ryan: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we investigate this location as part of our ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?Shane: *shakes head*

Sometimes they do on-location shoots where they investigate supposed paranormal events. The juxtaposition of Ryan being scared of everything (so precious, so pure) vs. Shane going “eh, just the wind” is hilarious. Also Ryan is scared of demons and therefore allows only one (1) demon investigation per season.

Top Eps, as Voted by Fans:

#1 - 1x03 - 3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - (”Rock n’ roll, buckaroo!”) - Their first on-location shoot, and the third (the Sallie House) is *chef’s kiss* because Ryan looses it entirely over flickering flashlights. Also a personal fave.

#2 - 3x04 - The Demonic Goatman’s Bridge (“We’re here for the cult stuff.” ; “I stole your bridge, Goatman!“ ; “Don’t try it, demon!“ *with a holy-water pistol*)

#3 - 2x09 - The Haunted Quarters of the Dauphine Orleans House (“I’m bad at feeling. I wanna be swept up in this. I really wanna believe in something outside the norm of, you know, physics.”)

Other Good Ones (Recommended on their Vibe):

1x06 - The Spirits of the Whaley House (“You can feel the history coming from the walls in here.” “Yeah, isn’t that wonderful?” “Not when the history fights back!)

1x07 - The Haunted Decks of the Queen Mary (“Are you scared right now?” “Yeah, are you not fucking scared right now?” “*irritated* Are you just afraid of anything that’s old?”) - The boys stay overnight on a haunted ship. Ryan’s origin story as a Believer is revealed (and mocked).

2x01 - The Ghosts and Demns of Bobby Mackey’s (“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.” ; “Why do you always have to insult the ghost of the place we’re at?”)

2x02 - Bigfoot: The Convincing Evidence (“”That’s a guy I wanna share a cold one with.“ Is what Bigfoot would say. About me.”) - The boys go into the woods and try to crack a cold one with the ‘Foot.

2x04 - The Haunted Halls of the Waverly Hills Hospital (“Hey ghouls! The boys are here!”)

4x01 - The Seach for the Mysterious Mothman - Road trip!

5x05 - The Haunted Town of Tombstone - Cowboys!

5x08 - The Demonic Curse of Annabelle the Doll - In which we see Shane’s instant reaction to “don’t touch it” being…touch it.

6x02 - The Haunting Shadows of the St. Augustine Lighthouse

True Crime - episode list with links

Top Eps, as Voted by Fans:

#4 - 1x12 - The Strange Disappearance of DB Cooper - The best spit-take!

#5 - 3x01 - The Grisly Murders of Jack the Ripper - On location!

Other Good Ones (Recommended on the Crime)

1x05 - The Strange Deaths of the 9 Hikers of Dyatlov Pass

1x02 - The Horrifying Unsolved Slaughter at Hinterkaifeck Farm

2x01 - The Terrifying Axeman of New Orleans - Jazz for your life!

2x04 - The Tragic Murder Of JonBenét Ramsey (”I’ve connected the two dots.” “You didn’t connect shit.” “I’ve connected them.”)

2x05 - The Odd Vanishing of Amelia Earhart - It was crabs!

2x06 - The Creepy Murder in Room 1046

2x07 - The Strange Drowning of Natalie Wood

3x04 - The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman

4x02 - The Bizarre Collar Bomb Robbery

4x08 - The Treacherous Treasure Hunt of Forrest Fenn - On location hunting for treasure.

5x01 - The Eerie Case of the Watcher - Where they just drag the suspect all episode.

5x02 - The Unusual Australian Shark Arm Murders

Note: Yeah…I’ve not put in lots of alien ones because they’re not my jam too much. Still hilarious episodes, though. Check them out if they’re your jam.

Post-Mortems - Q&A shows for each episode and much more.

The Hot Daga - Part of the Post-Mortems. Shane, much to Ryan’s horror, started writing little funny cartoons at the end, spiraling into a saga abut sentient hot dogs and their friends. Thus was The Hot Daga created. It had songs. It was awesome.

Seasons 1 & 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

Unsolved Almost 70th Episode - Celebration, banter, shenanigans, and retrospectives.

Unsolved Adjacent

Ruining History - Shane recounting tales from history with hilarious annimations and props.

Watcher’s Puppet History - As above, but now with a puppet! (I would die for The Professor.) And Broadway-worthy songs! My favourite is ep 2, Stealing the World’s Most Expensive Necklace. The guest’s energy is just perfect.

#buzzfeed unsolved #watcher #ask box adventures #this took me THREE WHOLE ASS TRIES #goddamn you tumblr and your uselessness

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

Part 8

<<Prev | Next>>

Demie stared at the phone in his hand for a minute, utterly bewildered. The mentions of the Goatman had made him angry, but he hadn't expected Angel to just hang up on him, for a couple of reasons. 

First, if Angel had actually suspected him of being the Goatman, he would've thought Angel would ask more questions. He'd never actually talked to any of the cryptozoologists that came poking around the woods, but from what he could tell about them, they didn't give up easily. 

Second, even though he'd only known Angel for a few days, he could tell that Angel was talkative, and very interested in what Demie had to say. It didn't seem like him to just suddenly hang up. 

Which left Demie wondering if he'd said something wrong. He knew he didn't have the best of social graces - he could blame it on the isolation he'd grown up in, but Marius didn't have any problem with being social, so that couldn't be it - but he thought he'd been doing well with talking to Angel. He was angry, and a little nervous about being exposed as non-human, but not so much that he wanted to stop talking to Angel. But maybe he had sounded too angry? He couldn't tell - the only person he talked to on a regular basis was Elaine, and she was a complete asshole, so maybe she'd rubbed off on him. 

That was about as far as he got in that thought when Elaine started shouting for him. 

"DEMIE!" She called from her room on the other side of the trailer. 

"WHAT?" He shouted back. 

"DEMIE!" 

"FUCKING WHAT!?"

"COME HERE, JACKASS." 

He frowned. There she went, being an asshole. She could just tell him what she wanted, but no, she had to make him come to her. He got up off his couch, grumbling, and ambled out of his room and across the living room. 

"HURRY UP!" She yelled as she spotted him through her open door. She was sitting at her desk, in front of her computer. It and the TV in the living room were the most modern pieces of technology in the trailer, and even they were a few years out of date. 

"What?" He asked, stopping at the threshold of her room. He never went in there. There wasn't a rule against it or anything, he just didn't like going in there. She had a ton of anime posters all over the wall, and they gave him the heebie-jeebies. Something about the big glossy eyes were just so creepy and alien. 

"Come over here, there's something you need to watch." 

"What is it?" 

"Just get your ass over here!" 

Demie grumbled again, but walked over to the desk. As he did, Elaine got up from her chair and patted it. Demie took a seat. 

"Ugh, gross, it's all warm," he said. 

"Oh, I'm the gross one? You don't fucking wear pants." 

"It's not like I don't wash my ass or something," he shot back. 

"Shut up and watch this fucking video," she said, leaning over and moving the mouse, clicking play on the Youtube video she had pulled up. 

"WHAT'S UP, CLAYKIDS," an athletic white guy in his early 20s with perfectly coiffed hair shouted. "WE'RE IN WEST VIRGINIA, ON PART FIVE OF OUR QUEST FOR CRYPTIIIIIIIIDS!" 

"This guy is way too fucking loud," Demie mumbled. Elaine shushed him. 

The camera zoomed out of the guy's face to show him standing in some woods. "AND TODAY, WE'RE ON THE HUNT FOR THE GOATMAN!" 

A chill crawled up Demie's spine, and his blood went cold. He watched in horrified silence as the man continued to shout about the history of the Goatman and how it was said to shapeshift and terrorize campers. 

The camera cut and Demie gripped the arms of the chair. The man - joined by a crew of five other, almost identical white guys - now stood in the middle of a crumbling asphalt road. To either side of them were short brick buildings, only about eight in total. Demie recognized it instantly as Billy Brook, West Virginia - the town about twenty minutes from the trailer. 

The video spent a few minutes on the crew ambushing various townspeople, sticking microphones in their faces and asking them about the Goatman. 

"Oh yeah, that Goatman, he killed my dog," an old man said. 

"Everyone knows you stay out of the woods," said a middle-aged woman. 

"Yeah, I heard about the Goatman," a man in his twenties told the camera, "my buddy Mike at the video store has seen him." 

"WHOO!" One of the crew hooted, pulling the camera around to get an extreme close-up of himself. "Eye witness, baby!" 

Demie shivered. Please don't go to the video store, please don't go to the video store, he thought. 

Immediately, the video smash cut to a small, whitewashed building with a hand-painted sign that read: 'Video Store - VHS - DVD - XXX.'

"This video store has been in operation since 1985,' a sleepy-sounding voiceover said. "No movie theaters in town, most people don't have internet, so we stay in business pretty easily." 

The video cut to the inside of the store, the camera slowly sweeping over the shelves. 

"This place is LIT, fam," one of the crew said. "Yoooo, check it out, this place has porn!" The camera fixed on a shelf in the back of the building, though the covers of the videos had been pixelated out. 

"So tell us about the Goatman," the first white guy said, the video cutting to a strung-out young man in flannel with a name tag that read 'Mike' standing behind a counter. 

"Oh yeah, the Goatman, he comes in here like once a month," Mike said. 

"Does he buy any videos?" 

"Oh yeah." 

"What kind of videos does the Goatman buy?"

"Uh, y'know, splatter gore horror stuff. Sometimes he gets some musicals. Oh, and a lot of porn." 

"What kind of porn does the Goatman buy?" The guy asked, laughing. 

"GOAT PORN!" Someone shouted off screen. 

"Nah, man, he gets like… big titty blonde chicks." 

"What does the Goatman look like?" The main guy asked. 

"He's like… seven feet tall, man. He's got like really long hair and a beard, and these big ass curly horns." 

"That doesn't sound like any Goatman I've heard of," a different person said from off camera. 

"Nah man, he's real. He like, lives out in the woods and shit." 

Demie sank into the chair, lifting up his hands and covering his face, though keeping his fingers open to watch the video. "Shit," he murmured. 

"I told you going to the video store was a bad idea," Elaine said, words dripping with vitriol. 

"Mike is always high out of his fucking mind," Demie said, words muffled by his hands. "I didn't think he'd even remember that I was ever there." 

"Keep watching, it gets worse," she said. He moaned in horror. How could it possibly get worse? 

The video cut again, this time showing the crew out in the woods. The sun was beginning to set. 

"Check it out, no trespassing," one of the crew said, pointing to a piece of sheet metal nailed to a tree. The words had been hand-painted on. Demie sank lower into his chair. He'd made that sign himself. 

"Trespassing in the Goatman's woods, yeah boyyyy," another member of the crew said. 

"So, where's the Goatman?" Another asked. The main guy tried to shush them, but they kept talking as they stumbled through the woods, jumping and then laughing at every snap of a branch or rustle of leaves. 

And then, out of nowhere, a crack of gunfire interrupted their buffoonery. The entire crew became silent. A few moments passed, and another shot could be heard. 

"OH SHIT!" The main guy shouted, and the camera work became a dizzying blur as the crew began to run. 

They came out of the woods onto a dirt road, where they began to laugh. 

"Jesus, we almost got murdered by fuckin' hillbillies!" One of them shouted. The other hummed a few bars of 'Dueling Banjos'. 

"Alright, well, that was a bust, but we'll keep looking," the main guy said, grabbing the camera and pointing it in his face. "Be sure to like, comment, smash that subscribe button, and buy our merch, Claykids!"

The video ended and Demie sat there in silence, eyes glued to the computer screen. "We're so fucked," he mumbled.

#writing #writers on tumblr #original characters #original fiction #lgbt fiction #gay fiction #wright's writing #w:demie and angel

[vincent-frankenstein]

Ghost Hunter AU

“yea boy im doing one of these bullet point outline things bc i dont have time to ever write this but im not letting this idea go to waste //dabs

sorta inspired by bfu bc i just started watching that yea boyyyy

this is such a mess im sorry

so lets set the context 

virgil and logan are both youtubers. virgil runs a paranormal channel, talking about different conspiracies and ghost stories and whatever; logan specializes in educational videos, specifcally history

and they watch each other’s channels and dont have a crush on each other what no

but then one day, their topics coincide

logan’s doing a video talking about the gruesome history of some old prison, and virgil’s doing a video on the ghostly legends that surround the place

they collab, and their viewers love it. they work really well together too; virgil’s spooky humor and logan’s skepticism mesh together and the fans adore them. it’s educational, it’s terrifying, and it’s fun. 

“hey, maybe we could collab more often?” Virgil asks when they go out for coffee after filming. “If... if you want.”

Logan does want

they make a joint channel not a week later

and thus begins their ghost hunting career

break here bc damn this got long shdfklhsdfk

virgil provides the terrifying ghost stories. logan provides the history. together, armed with their knowledge and their trust in each other, they conquer some of the most haunted spots in the world

including goatman’s bridge ofc

the video of logan yelling “FUCK YOU GOATMAN” goes viral within a few hours

“i cant believe you achieved meme status before i did,” virgil remarks, scrolling through their tag. “unfair.”

logan hastily pulls out his vocab cards. “uh — ah — then perish?” he says, and virgil laughs himself breathless

but then, they decide to investigate the legend of an old, abandoned house

it’s said that the house is haunted by an evil demon, who lures people inside and kills them in horrible, cruel ways. no one who sets foot in the house ever returns

so, naturaly, Logan and Virgil are going to spent the night.

they set up in the living room with sleeping bags and an ouija board and a spirit box and set to work

“Are there any demons in this house?” Virgil asks, ignoring Logan’s skeptical laughter. “Hello?”

The spirit box crackles and shrieks

and then

“L̪͈EÁ͂̌̾͐̃V̼͂È̲̱̟̔̑”

the clearest voice they’ve ever heard. even logan is shaken, eyes wide as he glances around the room. 

but the voice didnt sound angry, or evil, or cruel

it sounds scared

“GE̙͚̩͉T̺̯͔̲̟̍̈́̈ͤ͐ ̓ͤ̓̋O͖̳͔͕̺͚̯ͯ̃́̏ͬͩ̑UṬ̹̬͇͔̆̔ͨ͛̓” it screams. “GE̙͚̩͉T̺̯͔̲̟̍̈́̈ͤ͐ ̓ͤ̓̋O͖̳͔͕̺͚̯ͯ̃́̏ͬͩ̑UṬ̹̬͇͔̆̔ͨ͛̓ P͖̪̭͉̘̄͒͆ͮͬLE͚͎A̤͚̙͚̯̻͕ͯ̾ͦ̃ͯͮ̐SE”

virgil nearly drops the spirit box, his hands are shaking so badly. the room has grown so cold that their breath fogs in front of their faces. even logan has nothing to say.

they barely have time to share a glance before two men appear

one stands in the shadows, dressed all in black, his cloak billowing around him, one eye seeming to glow bright, poisonous yellow

the other has ashen skin and furiously beaming red eyes, hidden behind shattered glasses. his clawed fingers are curled into fists; his pastel-blue outfit stained with rusted red. one horn curls into a sharp point; the other is cracked off at the stump.

“i̻̘̽̂̏ͅ ̻͎̟̖t̞̞̅̍r̫̬̝̈́̂̏ȋ̥͎̰̟̲̠̯̉̋͆́̍ͥe̫͈̘͈̭͉ͩ͑̆̈́̐̾d ̣̥tô͚͓̤̥͐͌͛ ̄ͩͯ̑waṛ͑n̐̍͂ͦ ̞̹̣yͨ̔ͪͥͯou̟̻” he whispers, garbled

and in the split second before he lunges, Virgil spots tears in his eyes

they just barely escape with their lives. their gear is gone, left back in the house, and their lives are changed forever.

“well,” virgil says, breathless and terrifed. “you can’t be skeptical anymore.”

“shut up,” logan says. 

the logical thing would be to stay away from the house. logan says as much, at least three times. but virgil can’t stop thinking about the way the demon had tried to warn them, had pleaded with them to leave

there’s more to this story, he knows it. he wont let this one stay unsolved

so they dig through the town’s history, find records of the house’s owners, search and search and search until finally

Dolos Morel. the last known owner of the house. though he lived hundreds of years ago, there are no records of his death. he was imprisoned young, sentenced to death, but he vanished the day before he was set to die. 

he’s yet another unsolved mystery. virgil’s so used to those, he almost passes it by

but one thing stands out, one thing that makes virgil sure he’s the guy

he was born with one yellow eye

“this is him,” he says, slamming the records down on logan’s makeshift desk in their hotel room. logan scans the papers and nods, eyebrows furrowed

“why do you care so much?” logan asked, though he has to admit, he’s become invested in this as well

virgil doesnt answer

tears pooling in crimson eyes flash through his mind

finally, he meets logan’s eyes. “too many people have gotten hurt because of him,” he says. “i mean — shit, logan, we’ve got a real demon and some sort of immortal asshole on our hands. we should at least try to get to the bottom of it. isn’t that what we do?”

virgil doesn’t know where this heroic streak has come from. logan isnt sure what to think of it

hes not blushing shut up

but he and virgil have been partners for years. he’d follow him anywhere.

and so, armed with as much knowledge on exorcism and demonic protection as possible, and as many lucky charms and bottles of holy water as virgil can carry, the two set off to solve the mystery

they sit in the dusty living room, side by side on the floor. virgil turns on the spirit box and takes logan’s hand instinctively, and logan’s too busy watching the box to notice

“Why are you here, demon?” Virgil asks, getting straight (gay) to the point. “Are you Dolos Morel?”

“n̟̮̆ͦ,̯̫̖̦̼͚ͫ͐̋̊ͧ̄ ̝no̙” the box whispers through a cacophany of static

“Is Dolos Morel in this house?” Logan asks, more serious than Virgil has ever seen him on a hunt before. 

the voice hesitates

then: “yes̰“

virgil and logan share a look. virgil opens his mouth to ask more questions, but then

“ÿ͍͈ͣou͎̱͔͎̫̥̻ͤ͐̈́͐̔͂̚ ͖̭͙͙ͅh̤̠͔̜̲̙ͬ́ͧ̒̍̚aͨ̔̊͌ve̜̮͖͔̅͊ͭ̽ ̞͎̼͖̬̼̅ͦͦͨ̑ͪͮͅto ́̑̈ͫ̆͑le̳̹͛̈a̞̥͕͈̪̙̞v͖̇e̳͈͔ ͍͇̝̯̟̌̓̊̋̂y̜̍ou̺̱̪̼̟ ͉͇̹̼̗̭͕h͚a͐V̥̮̤͇̫̤E͓̹̥ͯ̓̈́̚ͅ ̟̔T̫̻̃͛O͖̫̞̰ ̂ͩ͆ͥ̈́L̬̳̞͔͇̪̲̊̔̎̽̄́̔E̲̩AVE͍̩̦̜͎ͩ̓͋̍̈́͐ͅ ̞̘̫N̿̋̉ͤ̽͋̆O̺͊W”

he wants to leave, his legs are about to give out, but the fear in the demons voice roots him to his spot.

“No!” he yells. “We’re not leaving.”

the spirit box goes silent. no crackling, no static; it’s like they turned it off

the air grows deathly still

“very well,” says a new voice, clear as day through the spirit box. “enjoy your stay.”

the world shifts and hisses and crackles and then goes dark.

when virgil wakes up, he’s in a dark room. his hands have been bound. he struggles and yells and screams for logan, and his stomach drops in terror when there’s no response. 

“you can’t get out,” says the first voice they’d heard in the spirit box. it’s more subdued, a whisper. “there’s no escape.”

“fuck that,” virgil growls, never once stopping straining against his bonds. “tell me what the hell is going on. where is logan?”

he doesn’t know where this bravery is coming from, red-hot and acidic as he snaps at the demon he knows is waiting just outside. maybe he knows he’ll die anyway, whether he’s polite or rude as all hell

“i-i can’t, kiddo,” the demon says. 

virgil hears remorse in his tone, maybe, and clings to it as his only hope.

“we came to help you,” he says. “but i need to know what’s going on. are you working with dolos?”

the demon falls silent. for a moment, virgil grows disappointed

but then the door opens and the demon stumbles in, his own clawed hands pressed tightly over his mouth

he meets virgil’s eyes, and shakes his head. no.

virgil remembers another unsolved legend he studied a while back: a man who would summon demons to trap them in agreements, getting himself eternal life, eternal power, and eternal fame in the process

“you’re trapped with him,” he guesses, and the demon jerks his head in a shaky nod. 

he cant feel good about being right for long

a loud yell pierces the air and virgil’s lungs forget how to work. “let me out,” he hisses, as his mind screams logan’s name. “you have to let me out now.”

“I-I can’t!” the demon cries, tearing his hands away from his mouth. “Dolos forbade it, I can only attack —”

“Then attack,” virgil says without hesitation. he plants his feet firmly on the ground and says it again, tensing beneath his bonds

the demon lunges — virgil spins — and the demon’s claws slice right through the thick fabric tying him to the chair. they sliced through his shirt, too, and his back aches, but he doesnt have time to dwell on that. 

he’s gotta save the man he loves

Logan stands across the room from Dolos Morel, among a minefield of broken chair bits. his face stings where dolos slapped him, and theres no chance of escape

but he’s smart. he’s cunning. he’s already gotten some of Dolos’ backstory and only confirmed what he already suspected

he hears a crash in a room down the hall and knows

he is not going to die here

virgil bursts down the door, brandishing a water gun like a deadly weapon, and soaks Dolos with a loud warcry

“Eat holy water, you shit!”

Dolos splutters. “I’m human, you fool. Holy water cannot harm me.”

“no,” logan says. “but this can.”

and he grabs Dolos and punches him directly in the face

logan shakes out his hand with a wince as dolos collapses to the floor and virgil becomes Too Gay To Function

and the demon steps forward and kneels beside his master, placing his hand on the weird symbol on the man’s left wrist. 

Dolos wakes with a start as the demon grabs his hand. logan and virgil stand watch as red light fills the space between them

“s̺̱̆͑ͨͅa͍̣͌̾y i̒ͧ͌t̜͕ͧ̓” the demon whispers

dolos’ fight drains and he slumps against the wall, his glowing eye fading to dull brown

“I release you” he whispers, and crumbles to dust.

the demon stumbles away from the pile of dust. he sobs once, then twice, and then doubles over, trembling, his eyes overflowing with tears

logan laces his fingers through virgil’s as he straightens up

“Thank you,” he says hoarsely. “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“my name is patton,” he says when he’s stopped sobbing, “and i owe you my life.”

BONUS:

so now virge n lo have a Demon Friend and theyve p much proved the existence of the supernatural, but they dont want to stop making videos

still, it’s a few weeks before either of them brings up the notion of finding another haunted place to investigate

but virgil cant stay away from the supernatural for long

“I found our next stop,” he says, shoving his phone into logan’s hands. “A theater mysteriously burned down there like, 60 years ago. they say the spot is haunted by the spirit of the man who died in the fire.”

logan scrolls through the article, and nods. “it looks interesting,” he says, and returns virgil’s smile.

“let’s go find this Roman Kingsley.”

i might make a second post abt roman if yall are interested owo

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #villain deceit #tw deceit #tw demons #tw ghosts #tw death #tw death mention #ask to tag #WOW this got way longer than i wanted it to shdkfhdsflhsdk #im shooketh i love bfu so much already??? #i couldnt Not make an au at least somewhat inspired by it #analogical #celeste's portfolio

[ao3feed-destiel]

Fuck You Goatman has added: Fuck off, A Single Man Tear, Imapla67, Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge and 19 others to Hell Chat

Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/2ywfQ0H

by ClaireOhYutaYong

So I randomly decided that I wanted to do a Supernatural chat fic for no reason whatsoever other than I’m in quarantine and don’t want to do school work so fuck it I’m writing this. THEY ARE ALL OUT OF CHARACTER AND ON CRACK - The only exceptions are Charlie, Gabriel and maybe Claire because they are all already on crack. EVERYONE IS ALIVE except John and Mary NO PLOT

Words: 3401, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Bobby Singer, Gabriel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Anna Milton, Meg Masters, Ruby (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural), Rowena MacLeod, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Jody Mills, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Kevin Tran, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Balthazar (Supernatural), Chuck Shurley, Abaddon (Supernatural), Azazel (Supernatural), Cain (Supernatural), Naomi (Supernatural), Hannah (Supernatural), Samandriel (Supernatural), Gadreel (Supernatural), Metatron (Supernatural)

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Anna Milton/Dean Winchester (Mentioned), Ruby/Sam Winchester (mentioned) - Relationship, Castiel/Meg Masters (mentioned)

Additional Tags: Chatting & Messaging, Hell Chat, No Beta, We Die Like Men, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Canon Compliant, no ones dead, No Plot/Plotless, let's see where this goes, Michael Does Not Ship Castiel/Dean Winchester, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Not Ship focused, pure crackhead energy, Out of Character, Coming Out, Internalized Biphobia, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Sam Winchester is So Done with Gabriel, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Lots of Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Hunger Games Simulator, Vines, fuck john winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting

Link: https://ift.tt/2ywfQ0H

#ao3feed #ao3feed destiel #destiel