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thoughtsinblue · 9 months

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Vietnam #1 - Piggy

Piggy had a pair of racist dogs.

Now, there are so many ways I could remember Piggy - kind, thoughtful, oddly mature for our age, and sure, a little tone-deaf at times, but, unlike his dogs, he wasn't racist in the least. Yet, I specifically chose to remember him for his racist dogs.

This is a story about many things, but above all, it's a story about friendship.

In the summer of 2017, I, along with a group of people from around the world, was teaching English in Hanoi, Vietnam. That's when I first met Piggy. Of course, that's not his real name, but I don't think he'll complain about it either.

Piggy and I became fast friends. By the end of my stay in Hanoi, we were the best of friends. Piggy loved cursing. Looking at his face, you'd never expect him to dish out such profanity, but hey, that's Piggy, a true curse connoisseur. He had a pair of dogs that did not like anyone who wasn't light-skinned. He swore he hadn't trained them to be that way, that they were somehow inherently racist. Either way, I found it to be really hilarious. He also had a red scooter and two matching helmets, and boy did Piggy drive like a maniac. Late one night, after some beers, I walked a friend back to her hostel. On my way back home, in the usual fashion, I had my phone in my hand and my earphones plugged in. Just as I was about to turn a corner, I heard a scooter approaching me. Before I could react, I got robbed of my phone. I quickly reached home and dropped a message to Piggy and another friend. Immediately, they sent me a bunch of second-hand phone listings.

The next day, I sent Piggy the listing that I liked the most. He agreed with my choice of phone, but there was an issue. The listing was from a town 2.5 hours outside of Hanoi. I quickly decided to pick a different listing, but Piggy, truly a man of wisdom beyond his years, said, "Fuck second choices. I like the phone; let's ride." And so it was decided.

We left around 5 pm. The only problem was, we hadn't checked the store's operational hours. Turns out, the store closed at 7:30. So here we were, riding at top speed, clear roads, the beautiful countryside in the background. Had either of us been replaced with a woman, that would have been one hell of a romantic ride, but we didn't have time to think about any of that; we were running late. Piggy drove like a maniac, whizzing past cars. It was monsoon season back then, but Hanoi being Hanoi, the humidity had ensured that it was sweat-season. Even then, with how fast we were going, I genuinely could've used a hoodie. With a bit of luck on our side, we actually ended up reaching the store just 15 minutes before they closed.

Piggy did all the talking; all I did was pay up. We were in and out in less than 10 minutes. We decided to take it slow riding back to Hanoi. On the way back, the roads were still empty. We had time; we could take it easy. We enjoyed the countryside, with its (and I'm assuming based on stereotypes) rice paddy fields stretching into the horizon, the colors of the sunset just starting to fade away. Again, it would've been hugely romantic had it not been two dudes on a scooter.

Suddenly, Piggy saw something. He pointed it out, and I could swear we saw this creepy silhouette, and we panicked. Both of us thought it was approaching us, so I screamed for Piggy to hit the gas, and we were again riding at the speed of light. We were absolutely mortified. We only slowed down once we entered Hanoi. We decided that we had to get a few beers in us, and when we finally sat down at the beer stalls, both of us were white as ghosts. We laughed about it, but we both knew that had we lingered around for even a second longer, we'd have shat our pants.

Piggy was probably the best friend I could ask for. Right up until my last day in the country, he made sure that I always felt at home. If I ever needed any kind of help, even during the ungodly hours of the night, he'd be there. (He'd curse me out, but he'd be there.) Piggy was also wise in matters of love.

I had a thing for one of the girls I was working with. Looking back at it, she knew. Obviously, I told Piggy about it. On our last day in Hanoi, he told me that I should probably tell the girl. He drove me to where I was supposed to meet her. He stopped outside and encouraged me.

"You have to try; who knows, maybe it'll work out. I've seen the way she looks at you. I think there's a chance."

"I know, right! I've got this!"

Famous last words.

Later, he took me to my favorite kebab place in town. He never liked that place, but he understood that a man just had his heart broken; you can't compete with that. As we sat down to eat, he quietly let out a sigh.

"Well, while you were talking to her, I thought of something."

"Yeah, what?"

"I think you would've been better off not fuckin' telling her."

I just stared at him with a confused look on my face. It was his idea for me to confess after all.

"Look, I'm not saying this is healthy, but maybe if you hadn't told her, you could still be thinking about what the could've been. You could still hold on to hope for a while, and eventually, you'd forget about her, and things would return back to normal."

"So, what you're saying is…"

"Yeah. You had your heart broken for no goddamn reason."

We didn't speak for a while. We concentrated on our kebabs. Maybe it was the heartbreak, or maybe it was what Piggy said, but the kebab didn't taste right. Looking back at it now, I guess we were both processing what had happened. After a while, we looked at each other and started laughing.

Racist Dogs: I only met his dogs once when we all went over to his place for a party. He had to chain one of them because I swear as soon as I walked in, the dog's eyes lit up with fury. I never thought my first racist encounter would be with a dog. The other dog was chill, but he never let me pet him.

Epilogue: Piggy and I had a lot of adventures during my time in Vietnam. And like I said in the beginning, there are so many ways to remember him, but I guess I like to remember him for his racist dogs because it makes for a funny description. We don't talk often. But every time we do text, it's like we start right where we left off.

Oh, and he gave me an update on his dogs.

#comedy #writing #friendship #funny #short story

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

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MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 4

(The side characters strike again!)

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Part 3

L!MC= Lucifer’s kid | M!MC= Mammon’s kid | A!MC=Asmo’s kid

Let’s get right to it!

The Uncle That Hardcore Simps For His Spouse In the Most Wholesome Way (Diavolo)

Gasp! More half-demon kids? Oh my! Maybe if he tried again next year a kid of his own would pop down! Hang on- he hadn’t slept with a human in almost a century... dang. No kids for him...

...maybe...

Remember when I said Diavolo would try to do those stereotypical dad (tm) things and be hip with the kids? Yeah he keeps doing that.

The number of broken windows related to wayward baseballs goes up 150%. At least that’s how they all figured out that M!MC is nearsighted like their dad!

M!MC had developed a bit of a habit of telling Diavolo about cool human stuff and making the Crown Prince even more interested in the human world than normal.

You may be thinking “what’s so bad about that?” well, the number of yo-yos at RAD went up so high that Lucifer had to ban them.

Belphie and Satan, being the rebels they are, became yo-yo masters specifically to spite Lucifer.

It was sort of like the fidget spinners craze if you were in school for that.

Oh, hi Lord Diavolo. What’s a fidget spinner? It’s this- I should stop talking...

Since no one learned their lesson from the previous incident, Diavolo threw another BBQ.

“Why are we doing this again?” L!MC asked to no one in particular.

“Don’t worry, L!MC. I’ve taken every precaution possible to make sure that what happened last time doesn’t happen again.” Diavolo said and continued in his crusade to cover the entire pathway with sidewalk chalk doodles.

L!MC, Luke, Diavolo, M!MC, Belphie, and A!MC were all busily drawing a wide variety of doodles and drawings with chalk while the other guests milled around nearby. A!MC was in the middle of drawing quite the nice looking Cerberus chibi, while M!MC and Belphie were drawing a lot of stick figures. L!MC and Luke had just finished a wonderful drawing of... an alpaca? Giraffe? Thing...? Hell, even they didn’t know what it was.

Diavolo looked over at M!MC’s stick figure army with a big smile on his face. “So what are all of them doing? It looks like that one’s flying!”

You could practically hear the Addam’s Family theme play as M!MC and Belphie looked at each other and grinned.

“Oh Belphie was just talking about L!MC’s flying lesson fails and I felt that an artist’s rendition was needed.” M!MC explained, he began to point out certain doodles. “Here’s L!MC getting up off the ground, then there’s them actually flying, and this is them falling in the fountain.”

L!MC looked over at the chalk and glared at M!MC. “It’s generous to call that an artist’s rendition. It looks like crap.”

“And what did you draw?” Belphie smirked at the alpaca-giraffe-thing, Luke protectively covered up the drawing (side note, Luke was wearing white and playing with sidewalk chalk, by the end of the day he looked like a walking pride flag).

“None of your business!” Luke huffed.

“And what about that one?” Diavolo seemed completely oblivious to the hostility brewing between the two groups, A!MC was completely used to this and walked away to grab a drink.

“Ah, good eye, Lord Diavolo!” M!MC chirped. “This is a drawing of the time L!MC almost burned down your kitchen.”

Diavolo laughed and gave M!MC a few pats on the head. “Very accurate!”

“You’re so lucky I followed the rules and didn’t bring a water gun...” L!MC growled as they slowly reached for their backpack.

“Yeah... lucky. Real lucky...” M!MC nodded as they tried to casually reach for their bag, Belphie followed suit.

“I’m so glad we all followed the rules.” Luke smiled, his own hand inching towards his bag.

There was a brief moment of stillness before the four of them whipped out their water guns and pointed them at each other.

“This BBQ ain’t big enough for the both of us!” M!MC’s terrible cowboy impression aside, their gun was poised to shoot directly at Luke and L!MC’s alpaca-giraffe-thing.

“Everyone, I know this is a human world tradition but-”

Belphie silenced Diavolo by pointing his water gun at him. “Sh, don’t talk unless you have a water gun as well.”

Deciding not to smite Belphie for treason, Diavolo pulled his own water gun out of his shirt. “Okay, what now?”

“Now, we’re in a standoff...” L!MC glowered at M!MC, the air was practically crackling with hostility...

Until a burst of flames got everyone to whirl around to see A!MC with hairspray and a lighter.

“No water guns! I refuse to go home shivering and covered in grass again!”

Crisis averted. Everyone went to go fail at throwing beanbags into a hole instead of shooting each other.

That was probably for the best... Belphie filled everyone’s water guns with paint.

The Uncle That Does All the Cooking for Family Dinners (Barbatos)

Remember how I said that Barbs liked smol Lucifer? Yea, he likes smol Asmo too. Smol Asmo is willing to admit that they don’t know how to use an oven and is willing to learn.

M!MC is formally banned from being within 50 feet of the kitchen. It’s for the best.

A!MC often tries to get Barbatos to look into the possible futures so they can see if they can avoid messing anything up and A!MC is just so adorable that Barbatos actually thinks about it.

He still says no every single time.

“Could you at least tell me if I have the possibility of doing something embarrassing in the near future?”

“My apologies, A!MC, but no.”

“P-please?”

“The answer remains the same.”

A!MC sighed and went back to helping chop vegetables. Under Barbatos’ tutelage, A!MC’s cooking ability had increased tenfold, they could now make as many burgers as they wanted without worrying about burning down the kitchen.

Pitying the anxious half-demon, Barbatos sighed. “I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”

A!MC perked up. “H-huh?”

“I cannot confirm nor deny a future where your outfit gets ruined.”

Quickly understanding what Barbatos was trying to do, A!MC quickly nodded and spent the rest of the cooking time carefully taking note of their surroundings.

“Hey! What’re you guys doin’?” M!MC had managed to get in... damn! Everyone must have been putting their best efforts in keeping Solomon away from the kitchen and forgot about M!MC...

“We’re just finishing up, M!MC,” Barbatos had on his ‘oh no...’ smile. “We don’t need any help.”

“Really? You guys sure?”

“Why are you so interested?” A!MC asked.

“Lucifer said that idle hands are the devil’s playthings and that I should go look for something productive to do.” M!MC huffed. “Very ironic phrase.”

“F-fine, I guess you can...” A!MC searched for the least destructive task they could give. “Take the utensils and set the table.”

M!MC gave them a mock salute and grabbed the utensils, as they turned to leave, they knocked a large bowl of chopped fruit over, sending the fruit pieces flying.

Remembering Barbatos’ prediction, A!MC didn’t bother to try and stop the fruit from falling, they only grabbed the nearest big plate they could find and shielded their outfit from harm. The fruit splattered harmlessly against the shield.

“Whoops... my bad. You alright, A!MC?” M!MC asked as A!MC inspected their outfit.

“Y-yes actually...” A!MC turned to Barbatos, who was already getting the cleaning supplies.

“Thank you!” A!MC whispered.

Barbatos smiled and nodded. “You’re very welcome, A!MC.”

Barbatos now has two sorta-children. A!MC and Luke!

M!MC means well, I swear! He just shouldn’t be allowed in a cooking environment!

The Cousin That Your Mom Points at and Goes “Look at Him, He Helps With the Dishes, Be More Like Him.” (Simeon)

Oh man... time for some more embarrassing stories.

“Asmo was the most adorable child, it’s a shame he was such a troublemaker...”

“Really? My dad?”

“What about mine?”

“I think you can guess.”

I cannot comment on Simeon’s help with flying lessons because I refuse to Headcanon what Simeon’s wings look like until canon gives us a GLIMMER. LIKE SERIOUSLY SOLMARE IM CURIOUS-

I have a feeling the children were quite curious as well.

“What do you think his wings look like?” M!MC asked A!MC as the two peered around the corner of one of the hallways in Purgatory Hall.

“I bet they’re super nice. But besides that...” A!MC leaned over and squinted. “Why is Simeon writing with a pen and pencil? He’s writing a book... shouldn’t he use a computer?”

“Bold of you to assume he knows how to use a computer.” M!MC snickered.

A!MC frowned. “Don’t be mean... I’m sure he knows how...”

Simeon picked up his DDD and took a picture of his face, seemingly by accident, with the flash on, causing him to drop the phone in surprise.

“Probably...”

The two surveyed their angel friend like two wildlife documenters, here we see, the Simeon, not in his natural habitat, surrounded by confusing technology...

“Do you think if we scare him his wings might pop out in surprise?” M!MC wondered aloud, A!MC shrugged.

“Maybe... but I don’t think we should bother him...” A!MC whispered. “He looks busy.”

“What are you two doing?”

It took literally every bit of willpower for the two half demons to not scream in absolute terror at the sudden interruption.

Ah... it was just Solomon... in an apron... Solomon... in cooking clothes...

Oh no.

“Spying on Simeon?” Solomon asked.

“N-no...” A!MC giggled nervously. “Just crouching casually in this hallway...”

“...smooth, A!MC.” M!MC rolled their eyes.

“Well, it’s great that you two are here, I made lunch!”

A!MC and M!MC looked at each other in pure horror, they needed to get out of there!

“Uh- um... we’d love to but...” M!MC looked around frantically before just pointing at a random spot behind Solomon. “LOOK! A DISTRACTION!”

A!MC and M!MC ran out of there as fast as their legs could carry them. Finding out if Simeon had wings was not worth being poisoned. Not at all...

Good ol’ Simeon... Mr. Cristopher Peugeot on the other hand- M!MC had some questions for him.

“TSL is literally the most popular book series ever, does that mean you’re completely loaded?”

“Oh, no I’m not, I don’t have any use for human world money in the Celestial Realm. All the profits go to charity.”

“...Dude really?”

“That’s nice of you, Simeon!”

“You didn’t keep any of it..?”

Wait... Who the Hell Are You..? (Solomon)

So A!MC basically has three dads; Fabulous-dad, butler-dad, and wizard-dad!

“So you just... have capes lying around?”

“Yes, would you like a cape?”

“Okay if they don’t take the cape I want it.”

Solomon shows up to RAD with his nails painted different wacky styles every week, courtesy of A!MC.

Though- the unholy combination that is M!MC and Solomon is feared by all.

“Road work ahead?”

“Uh, yeah I sure hope it does.”

Solomon and M!MC’s rampant quoting of vines elicited another glare from Lucifer.

Despite Solomon having literally been alive since the seven rulers of hell were angels, he had kept up with pop culture fairly decently. Decently enough that M!MC had someone that wasn’t Levi to bounce memes off.

“Pff...” M!MC suppressed a laugh at a seemingly normal water bottle advertisement. “Enslaved moisture.”

“I’m not going crazy, right Simeon? You’re hearing this too?” Lucifer tiredly turned to the angel, who shook his head.

“This is just the tip of the iceberg. Solomon quacked at M!MC earlier and they lost their minds laughing about it.” Simeon shrugged, unbothered by the sorcerer and the half demon’s rampant meme-ing behind them.

Lucifer on the other hand, was quite bothered. Incredibly bothered, if you will. “If you two don’t shut up right now I’m going to-”

“Quick! We must abscond!” Solomon turned and heelied away, followed by M!MC. The shoes that Mammon bought to replace the ones lost during the casino incident were apparently heelies as well...

The day was saved when a rock jammed one of Solomon’s wheels and he slammed face first into the concrete. Yikes... that had to hurt.

A!MC had fun glow in the dark bandaids for Solomon to patch up his face. Even though he he could heal himself with magic, he let A!MC do what they wanted because they were just too adorable to say no to.

Asmo has pictures

The Cousin Squad (tm)

(Luke, L!MC, A!MC, and M!MC)

Ah yes, the bab squad. The most adorable group in the Devildom. Surrender your candy immediately or face destruction.

M!MC teases the crap out of Luke, and A!MC tries to stop it, but L!MC is the one who manages to actually make M!MC stop.

Only L!MC gets to pick on the smol angel. GOT IT?!

A!MC and Luke are already baking buddies because of butler-dad so they get along swimmingly.

Poor Luke’s the victim of many of M!MC’s shenanigans.

Luke: Are you sure this is safe, M!MC?

M!MC (about to put mentos into the bottle of coke Luke is holding): No.

L!MC and A!MC get along really well, being honest, everyone loves A!MC.

A!MC makes sure L!MC gets some sleep because they don’t want their cousin picking up on Lucifer’s habit of living off of coffee and coffee alone. L!MC doesn’t get it but they’re very grateful anyway.

M!MC and A!MC were friends from the start. Well... M!MC decided they were friends right from the start and A!MC did not have the ability to fight the power of friendship.

M!MC: You are being befriended. Please do not resist.

Since M!MC is great and amazing like their pop, they took it upon themselves to be the friend that speaks up when A!MC is too nervous to do so.

M!MC and L!MC? Lucifer and Mammon 2 electric boogaloo. Sorta.

L!MC and M!MC bicker all the time but the babs bounce back from their fights way easier.

One minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next they’re showing each other memes.

“There’s no escaping this.”

Lucifer stood between M!MC and the door... their one way ticket to freedom...

“You need to go to the dentist.”

The entire HOL plus the Purgatory Hall crew were getting ready to go visit the dentist to get their teeth cleaned. It was the time of the year that Mammon dreaded most... and his child felt the same way.

“My teeth are fine! Lemme stay home! I’ll hold down the fort with dad!” M!MC smiled and nodded as enthusiastically as they could, but even the most unobservant person couldn’t miss the sweat beading on their forehead.

“Beel.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and before M!MC could do anything Beel had thrown them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Don’t worry M!MC, the dentist isn’t that scary.” Beel tried to assure them. By the way M!MC was still kicking and screaming, they were not convinced.

“Y-yeah kiddo, suck it up! Don’t be a baby! I’m just gonna take my car there-”

“MAAAAAAMOOOON?!”

“YIKES!”

Lucifer had the important task of keeping a hold of Mammon as the very large group made their way to the dentist’s office.

A devious little idea popped into L!MC’s head as they all sat down in the waiting room. They began to hum a familiar little tune.

“She said be a deeeentiiiist~ a dentist!” L!MC sang to M!MC, who’s attempts to escape increased tenfold after hearing the song.

A!MC began to hum along, not seeming to notice the commotion going on next to them.

“Son be a deeentiiiiiist~ people will pay you for causing them PAIN! She said be a deeentiiiiiist~”

Belphie perked up and smiled deviously as he realized what L!MC was doing, he began to sing along as well. The three were a veritable choir of terror to poor M!MC. Mammon did not understand his child’s terror and was more unnerved by what a great team Belphie and L!MC made.

Satan rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his book, Asmo was absorbed in his magazine, Levi was having a very in depth conversation with the fish in the aquarium, Simeon and Solomon chatted about school, and Luke was stuck watching the train wreck go down.

Thankfully, it was halted by Lucifer. “L!MC, A!MC, Belphegor, stop tormenting M!MC with show tunes.”

“You would have made a good dentist in another life, Lucifer,” Belphie cooed. “You know what they say, the only difference between a dentist and a sadist is that one has newer magazines.”

Asmo grimaced at his magazine. “Is it the sadist? Because I’m reading a magazine from 1843...”

The conversation was interrupted by one of the dental hygienists coming into the waiting room and saying that Mammon was up first. The Avatar of Greed’s final escape attempt was foiled by Satan (not even looking up from his book) clotheslining him.

Thirty minutes later, Mammon emerged from the forbidden dentist room, with the look of trauma in his eyes and eating a lollipop.

One by one, the group went in, A!MC took it upon themselves to try and make the rapidly panicking Luke feel better.

“It won’t be too scary, in the human world dentists are usually very nice.” A!MC smiled encouragingly.

“I-I’m sure that’s true but...” Luke looked around. “We aren’t in the human world...”

Asmo skipped back in and flashed a blinding grin to the group. “Absolutely perfect, no flaws! It’s your turn, A!MC!”

“If you die I get to say I told ya so!” M!MC shouted as A!MC walked into the dentist’s room.

They did not in fact, die because of the dentist. A!MC walked out and gave a thumbs up. “The dentist said they had never seen a kid with such perfect teeth.”

“That’s my baby!” Asmo chirped.

“M!MC, you’re up.” A!MC and Beel had to practically drag the poor kid out of the room and into the dentist area of doom.

“GO BE A DEEEEEENTIIIIIIST!” Belphie and L!MC shouted one last time as the doors shut. Wow, what dickheads...

Mammon probably would have tried to save his poor little bugger, but he was in the middle an impromptu therapy session with Simeon over the scary scraping dentist knife thingie.

Beel was the last to go, and he walked out of the dentist’s room with his face covered in blood, the dentist walked out after him, missing a hand.

“You tasted like toothpaste.” Beel sighed. “Not good.”

“Don’t worry,” The dentist said to Luke, who looked like he was about to pass out. “My hand will grow back in about four to five minutes.”

Luke, still terrified, nodded. L!MC patted him on the shoulder.

“Anyway, almost all of you are fine, but I have to recommend M!MC to the orthodontist.” The dentist flipped through their notepad one-handed. “Their secondary set of fangs are coming out crooked and need to be corrected with braces immediately.”

M!MC sat calmly for a moment, then attempted to sprint out the door. “NO NO NO NO NO!” One of the dental hygienists grabbed them by the back of their shirt and halted their escape.

“Sucks to be you.” L!MC smirked.

“And L!MC needs to fix their cross bite, braces are a strong possibility.”

The colour drained from L!MC’s face as the news dawned upon them. “Pardon, but what exactly are you talking about..?”

“Your top jaw and bottom jaw aren’t properly lined up.” The dentist explained. “It will lead to problems later if it’s not fixed now.”

Lucifer rubbed his temples and sighed. “L!MC, if you try and run away I swear...”

L!MC stiffened and shook their head. “I’m not some coward, I’m not running away. Just... what exactly are you going to do to my mouth?”

The dentist pulled up a few pictures of the braces and explained what would be done. L!MC nodded, and turned to their father with a big smile on their face.

“It won’t be so bad, mind if I go to the bathroom before I get the mold for my teeth made?”

Lucifer nodded and almost audibly sighed in relief. He basked in the glory of having a child that wasn’t afraid of the dentist and faced their fears like an adult-

L!MC sprinted past the dentist’s office, they had busted out of the bathroom window.

“...Beel.”

“Yep.”

A few minutes later, Beel returned with a completely irate L!MC who was screaming their demands to be put down and be allowed to run for the hills. Taking advantage of the distraction, M!MC ran for the door again, only for Belphie to tap them on the forehead.

M!MC collapsed into a snoring heap on the floor.

“FATHER! DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS!” L!MC practically screamed as they tried to wrestle themselves out of Beel’s bear hug.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “L!MC, calm yourself down. It’s just braces.”

“AS EVERYONE HERE AS MY WITNESSES I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS! NEVER!”

The half-demons in need of braces were dragged right back into the dentist’s area... poor fools.

“They’ll be okay... right?” Luke asked.

“Of course they will be. It’s just braces.” Simeon patted Luke on the head. “They’ll both be fine.”

The scream that came from down the hall right after Simeon said that did not reassure anyone.

“Hey,” Mammon piped up. “How much do braces cost?”

“From what I know about dental procedures,” Satan rubbed his chin. “A few thousand Grimm.”

“Mammon if you try and run for that door I will cut your credit card into a thousand pieces.” Lucifer growled.

Overall, it was a fairly average trip to the dentist. 0/10 would not recommend. A few weeks later L!MC and M!MC were fitted with their mouth prisons- I mean braces, and the two cousins bonded over their horrific mouth pain...

Seriously- braces suck.

——————————————

So! Those are the headcanons! Four and a half whole parts... phew... To all the people who enjoyed this series, thank you so so much for reading! You guys have been so super nice!

Fret not, I plan on writing more for this universe! From what I know about season 2 of Obey Me things will get... interesting. Stay tuned for more! Or don’t, I can’t force you.

...or can I?

#Obey me #Obey me!#Obey me Headcanons #obey me shall we date #obey me! headcanons #obey me! shall we date?#Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Diavolo #Obey me Simeon #Obey me Solomon #Obey me Mammon #Obey me MC #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #Obey me Luke #Obey me Barbatos #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Fic #Lucifer’s Kid

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dizzeeflower · 3 years

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astra zeneca covid vaccine side effects - 1st dose

cw/ detailed discussion of medical symptoms, mention of vomit, covid mention

i got my first dose of the vaccine at 10am on saturday 3rd april. it was the oxford astra zeneca vaccine. for the record im 22 years old with asthma

here's an hour by hour diary of the side effects i personally experienced. these side effects are all considered typical of this specific vaccine

side effects hour by hour

the shot: didnt hurt a bit! the flu jab hurts more

in the first 2 hours after the shot i was pretty peppy abt getting rhe shot and made a batch of cookies when i got home but realised i didnt want to eat any, i put it down to not being hungry

3 hours after the shot i had a bagel and felt very nauseous after but didnt throw up

4 hours after the shot and i started feeling random aches in my hips and upper back and suddenly didnt have any energy so i crawled into bed

5 hours after the shot i got a headache. nothing too intense, the kind of headache u get if u didnt sleep enough last night. i also started getting chills despite no temperature drop, put on more layers and crawled under three blankets

6 hours after the shot my entire body started aching. the pain was about a 6/10 altogether so somewhat manageable. also my knuckles started really aching and i thought that was weird

7 hours after the shot i had drunk a litre of water so far which i rlly never do and still needed more. this is when a feverish feeling kicked in, but no actual fever. the body aches were the same pain level but i suddenly had so much less energy that i couldnt get up from bed anymore. trust me i tried

8 hours after the shot the pain was at a solid 7.5/10. i couldnt pick up my switch lite, i couldnt flip mysef over in bed, i couldnt turn my head without wincing

9 hours after the shot the pain was consistent, but my friend made me laugh on voicecall and it hurt so much that i whimpered in pain and started crying. at this point i had an actual fever. unfortunately i dont have a thermometre, but my chest and back and face were burning up. no sweating though, and i had an ice lolly to try to cool down.

10 hours after the shot i threw up said ice lolly and it absolutely killed my body... 8/10 for pain after that. also got some ringing and pressure in my ears but im not sure if that was from the strain of throwing up

11-13 hours after my shot are blurry. The pain got a lot worse at maybe a 9/10. i physically could not stop from crying and wincing and yelling in pain. i wasnt even moving, the pain was just throbbing and stabbing. mostly in my lower back, the back of my head behind my ears, and my hips. i think i got a little bit delirious. i took paracetamol at this point

14-15 hours after my shot i fell asleep for an hour and woke up drenched in sweat. despite the fever, the pain was briefly at a 4/10 which was pleasant. i stayed awake for a while talking to my friend then fell asleep again but not for too long, maybe two hours

18 hours after my shot i woke up again, this time absolutely freezing and shivering so much my teeth were chattering. pain was a 6/10. the site of the injection was swollen and very painful. when i accidentally leaned on my phone with it it felt like i was being jabbed with a needle

19-20 hours after my shot the pain got progressively worse very quickly. it went from a 6 to a 9 again. i panicked a little bit as i didnt have anyone around to help me. (if you are getting the shot make sure you have someone on call just in case u get to this point.) i took more painkillers

21 hours after my shot the pain was at a 7/10 an hour after the painkillers. not pleasant at all, but at least i stopped yelling and crying. my fever was gone but i still felt feverish and was sweating a lot. my head was still throbbing especially behind my ears. by this point id had 2.5 litres of water since my shot - please remember to drink plenty it does help

- that's where im at now, i will reblog with updates -

side note: my mum (49 yrs old, heathy but has smoked for decades) got the same shot at the same time as me literally in the same room. her side effects were later onset than mine (starting around the six hour mark) but they quickly caught up to mine to the point where we were both throwing up at the same time.

the intensity of both our side effects were exactly the same. she was also sobbing and whimpering with the pain at the same time i was (which was honestly rlly hard to hear)

the takeaway

GET THE FUCKING VACCINE this has in no way deterred me from the vaccine or made me regret it, if anything its made me so thankful ive got it because if this is what just the vaccine is doing to me, i honestly cant imagine how excruciating having the actual virus would have been

this is temporary and thats comforting. like it SUCKS im in so much pain, ive not been in this much pain since i had a two week long flu years ago. but this is firstly nowhere near as awful as getting severe covid would be. and secondly its only going to last for a couple days max and its so worth it to know that in a few weeks i'll be helping to stop the spread of this virus just for a few days of fever and bodyaches

please dont let the possibility of a bad experience with side effects deter you from the vaccine. im a complete baby and am terrified of pain and this is pretty scary but nowhere near as scary as my realisation when i was hearing my mum crying from the pain of the vaccine, that i dont know how severe it would have been had she caught the actual virus. i can feel this pain and hear hers and KNOW that it will be over and will make us healthier in the long run. if she was crying from the pain of the live virus, i dont think i would be able to handle it

get vaccinated

#covid tw #corona tw #astra zeneca #vaccine #covid19 #tw covid #tw corona #vomit mention #medical #medical tw #covid vaccine

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rigelmejo · 3 years

Text

6/28 I DID A LOT

WOOH

I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH

ANYWAY

AHHHHHHH

IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE

So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.

Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well

WELL

good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).

My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).

Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.

Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.

—

IN OTHER NEWS

today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE

AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS

So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.

I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.

This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.

I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.

Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.

Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.

anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN

gonna do it some more.

kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.

—-

And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.

What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.

As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.

#rant #June #June progress #I wonder if my 2021 horoscope says things I worked for years on are paying off #also looks like if I get into linguistics there’s a decent chance I’ll need French too so. French for a career is why I started learning #that baby way back when. so it really would be a bunch of old stuff paying off and becoming useful and needed. I even have job inquiries for #character artists for game companies rn! which is. literally what my dream was at age 11.#oh man when will I have time for the French... ToT I may actually NEED need it soon fuck #u know what I love about chinese and dread about Japanese and French? the grammar #Chinese grammar I may make some mistakes but I know I’m understandable and I DO in fact have some grammar exercise books I can do if they’l #help. and Chinese grammar is quite clear and idk logical to me. Japanese has.. so much politeness levels and casualness even after the gramm #I struggle to instinctively ‘get’. and French god if a teacher isn’t making me cojuygate I only use je vais je va j’ai va ToT #my French production skills are nightmarish #hey universe babe ;-; please be nice #whatever’s coming ayyy

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growingingreenwood · 4 years

Note

What are some " Just Canadian Things" you can think of? Lol I'm curious, especially winter ones.

Going to a party and everybody putting their alcohol on the deck / back step because it'll chill it muucchh faster than any freezer ever could.

The time between winter and spring called "Grey/Brown Sludge Season."

When it's cold and you go inside or anywhere warm and your glasses do the fog up thing

Trying to text your friends or change your song when you're outside but your hands are numb so your phone doesn't care

Your winter chore as a kid was always shoveling

When you try to stop at a light but mother nature doesn't agree so you slide halfway through the intersection even though you were going 2.5 kilometers an hour and but everyone just accepts it because who hasn't been there? And if you haven't, your time is coming.

I hope you didn't like those shoes because now they have Salt Stains

Getting to your destination and having to take off like 2 layers of clothes or get changed completely into your 'people clothes' and not your 'oh my god it is -38 out there and I can feel .5 of my body' cold.

When there's a huge snowfall in a short amount of time and everybody has an attitude more or less of "I'll get there when I get there I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ lol."

Accepting and anticipating your classmates and coworkers that live outside the city to just physically not be able to come to sometimes

The Unbelievable Unity that strikes any vicinity when somebody finds out you need to boost your car. Or all those sweet hockey dads and trades guys that always stop to help you dig your car out when you get stuck or to pull you out of the ditch. (For real: 2 year ago I was driving to Grand Prairie in a pretty heavy snowfall and we ended up hitting black ice and hitting the ditch. We called a for help but would take like 6 hours for somebody to come get us. We settled in the car and lit some candles to keep us warm and got some blankets to wait it out our next step when a huge pickup truck pulls up and like 4 dude hop out in overalls and shovels and are like 'oh yeah we work in a camp near here, we saw you go into the ditch and came to help you.' And we were out of there in like maybe 20 minutes.

Slipping on ice and falling 19288383 times a month.

The very specific 'Penguin Walk' that all Canadians seem to learn out of instinct or DNA. We had to teach the exchange students in my class how to do it so they wouldn't die lol

Plugging your car in everynight

Getting your tongue stuck to things all the fucking time as a kid until one day you took it too far so now you dont do that anymore

Almost dying on a toboggan and then going back up the hill to do it again

Do Not Engage The Geese. I Repeat. Do Not Engage The Geese. Is he standing on your child? No, that's the goose' child now. Accept that it is letting you leave with your life and you need to accept that gift.

Getting Slurpies and ice caps even tho you haven't seen grass or fresh leaves for like 3 months and the air hurts your face

When you put your dogs outside if they're too small you gotta watch them with like binoculars at the back door to see when you need to go be a Snow Lifeguard because they got too cold and their legs froze and now they cant walk.

Your windows freeze shut & depending how well your house is insulated / heated and how cold it is outside you get just as much ice on the inside of the window as the outside.

Left your food in the car? Lol its chill, theyll be fine for another 2 months

The Calming But Also Alarming Sensation Of Absolute Silence Right After It Snows

Going for a nature walk as a kid hoping to find some cool rocks or something but finding a Bear instead

Remembering that you always misremember how big Moose are until you see another one and you're like OH Y E A H

The extinction of house hippos

The true show of love is if somebody scrapes your windshield for you. Or pumps your gas

Starting school/work when the sun is down and leaving school/work when the sun is down

You own, like, 19 jackets. Including a 'spring jacket' which apparently most people don't know of???? Idk

Omg all of your halloween costumes as a kid always looking like a pile of pillows in a costume that fits super weird because your mom got your outfit like 4 sizes too big so you could fit your snowsuit underneath

Referring to the United States of America as nothing but 'The US'

The universal hateed of the Toronto Airport

Literally last week I did that thing where you throw warm water out of a cup into the air outside and it evaporates instantly

Co-workers you didnt even know worked there will offer you a ride home if somebody finds out your walking anywhere

Legit concern of frostbite (lol I got it on my ears in highschool when I got lost one day)

Taking your shoes off when you get to some public spaces (Doctors office's especially but I've seen it in other professions buildings because everybodys shoes are always so gross and wet and diry and have stuff sticking to them

Is this a lane? Is that a lane? Is this road one lane or two? I'll just guess

Poutine: Sold in every single place that serves food and is the ultimate drunk and hungover good

Getting really really excited when you find other Canadians outside of canada. Especially online (you know who you are 🥰🥰)

#not tolkien #haleigh speaks #winter in canada #canada #just canadian things #canada humor #canadian

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plumblossomkun · 4 years

Text

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 3: 「𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 / 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚝, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 / 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝙸'𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞」

word count: 3.2k

setting: student!Taeyong x writing assistant!Female Reader, University!AU

chapter summary: in which Taeyong finds out he’s in the class that y/n helps lead, and the sound of her voice is still his siren song.

a/n: this gif is exactly what i imagine when i think of what taeyong would look like at the end of the last chapter: a little lost and a little breathless and very much devastated. we’re starting at the timestamp in Chapter 2.5 where I link IRL part 5. thank you all so much for waiting ♥

warning[s]: none for this chapter. exposition time.

reminder: i will italicize flashbacks in their entirety & indicate any changes in scene or point of view in bold. and if you’re wondering where the chapter titles are from, they’re lyrics from the songs on the playlist below.

tags: @starxblossom, @nsheeteesmain, @cutehardcore, @bunny-doyounq, @namphyun, @ncttrinities ♥ send me an ask if you would like to be added to this list!

previous | next

9:08am—

—on the third floor of Kenna Hall, in room 306.

Taeyong stares at his hands and tries to steady his breathing. It comes out in staccato bursts, and each inhalation hurts just a little more than the one before, like something is slowly crushing his lungs.

I didn’t know she was still here.

Do she and Johnny still talk?

No, she was always closer to Ten than she was with Johnny.

He unlocks his phone and starts scrolling through his messages to find his last chat with Ten, then stops.

—Who was that boy?

The thought actually makes him wince, and he hangs his head over the desk. Of course you would have moved on, it would only be natural, but he hadn’t expected to see it firsthand, or this soon. From what he had been able to see through the window, the boy had been nothing out of the ordinary, nothing remarkable. Maybe.

But the thing that had pained him most wasn’t that.

Even a fool would have been able to see how you’d glowed, walking away with that boy’s hand in yours, how you’d laughed like you’d never cried a day in your life. And you’d smiled, and Taeyong hadn’t recognized the expression on your face.

How much has she changed, after all these years?

He curls his fingers around the edge of the desk and rests his forehead against the smooth surface as students continue to pour into the classroom, filling it with their laughter and heavy footsteps. His breathing speeds, though he fights the urge to crumple inwards into himself.

How much have I changed, really?

Back to that night 6 years ago—

“So, did you fuck?” Ten asks as soon as the three of them are safely inside the confines of Johnny’s room to wind down for the night, a devious grin crossing his face as he takes a seat at the desk in the corner. His gelled back hair is unkempt, like someone’s been running their hands through it over and over again— knowing him, he’d probably been making out with someone in the shadows at some point during the dance.

Taeyong laughs to cover up the rose-red hue flooding his cheeks. “What? No! I just met her.”

“Yongie likes a girl~” Yuta waggles his eyebrows suggestively, falling back onto Johnny’s bed with an oomph as he yanks the bowtie off of his collar. He smells faintly of alcohol, but tonight he’s a sleepy drunk, his head already lolling against his shoulder.

“I don’t!”

Johnny chuckles as he unbuttons his dress shirt and fans himself with a hand. “But did you get her number so you can, you know, get to know her better?”

“No…” Wringing his hands, Taeyong joins Yuta on the bed, who is dead asleep, chin dropping to his chest as he snores softly.

Ten folds his coat carefully over the back of his chair. “Who were you canoodling with?”

“I didn’t get her name.” Sighing, Taeyong throws his tie on the bed and kicks off his shoes. “And again, we weren’t canoodling.”

Ten drums his fingers against his chin with a cattish smile. “Dude, you never pay attention to girls,” he points out. “What’s so special about this one?”

“Do you find her physically attractive?” Johnny drawls, hand pressed to his forehead in a mocking faint. When Taeyong sends an icy glare his way, he amends himself with a chortle. “—I mean, is she your type?”

“I don’t know. She’s just…” He thinks of your wild eyes, how they’d scorched his with their intensity; he can scarcely remember much else, though, he’d been too dazed by the cold and the suddenness of it all. “I guess…?”

“Is she easy to talk to? Or can she hold a conversation?”

He bites the nail of his thumb absentmindedly, eyes unfocused as he tries to recall the words. What had you said— that if you could fly, you’d see if heaven existed? “You could say that.”

Ten’s lips purse, and he exchanges an exasperated look with Johnny. Both of them know a doomed man when they see one.

Taeyong stares down at his hands, at the little black flower on his left wrist, right at the juncture of the vein that splits off into the palm of his hand. You’d drawn it there in pen, on the bus ride to the Mexican store on the corner of Maple and Grand Avenue.

He just thinks you’re interesting, that’s all.

9:13am—

A couple of minutes later, nearly every seat in the room has been occupied, a handful of skateboards rest against the wall by the door, and Hydro Flasks clink loudly against the desks, while Taeyong massages his temples at the very back left corner of the classroom, just beneath the clock, pushing back the maelstrom whirling through his head. Through the blinds, sunlight flares its first, casting tiny beams of golden light and pricking his skin with faint warmth.

I hope Ten hasn’t told her I’m back.

The door clicks open again, and an older man, presumably the professor, steps into the classroom, a cup of coffee in one hand and a tote filled with books and folders slung over his shoulder. He is dressed smartly in khakis and a turtleneck, and rectangular glasses hang low on his nose as he scans the classroom with a good-natured smile.

After flicking on the lights, the professor looks over his shoulder at the two students on his heels and gestures widely at the whole room. “What do you guys think?”

Taeyong inhales sharply. The girl next to him eyes him curiously, but doesn’t comment.

It’s the boy from the other day, the one who’d had your hand in his— and now that Taeyong can see his face, he can’t help but glower at the kind, shining eyes, the chiseled jaw, lips plump and pink; he scrutinizes the dimpled smile and how he looks like every college girl’s magazine dream. He’s probably a nice guy, but the little green voice in the back of Taeyong’s head wants to drip venom.

How many guys has she dated since I left? It’s an ugly thought, one he doesn’t really deserve to be having, but it burns in his throat anyway. Guys like this?

“It’s alright,” the boy says, tossing his backpack onto an empty desk by the classroom projector’s control panel and leaning back against the windowsill as he scans the room. He rakes his lilac-grey hair back from his forehead and looks to the other student. “What do you think, angel?”

This time, Taeyong has to slap his hand across his mouth to keep himself from crying out. In fact, if he hadn’t been sitting, his knees would have given out, and he would have collapsed inward on himself. As it is, he simply deflates, exhaling all the air left in his lungs and then some, sliding down as far in his chair as he can.

Oh, god.

“I don’t know about this one, Juan. The energy of the classroom just isn’t the same when we’re not in O’Connor.”

It’s her.

A faint smile plays across your face as you stand next to the professor. You look so casually radiant that Taeyong’s heart falters, while the mere melody of your voice renders him unsteady.

“You good?” the girl next to him mouths, but he doesn’t have the wherewithal to answer, just sways in his seat like a ribbon caught in the throes of a windstorm.

The professor chuckles as he passes a stack of syllabi to the front. “I should clarify. Y/n is not saying that it’s your energy she dislikes— just the classroom itself.”

She’s…

You take the stool behind the computer at the front and lean over to talk to the boy with a giggle, and Taeyong has to look away. He doesn’t want to see how the pretty-boy plays with your hair, and the way your hand settles on his knee as the students pore over the course materials warily.

There is something lighter, less tethered about you, the skittish gleam gone from your eyes and replaced by a different shine. And then there’s him. In the blink of an eye, he feels like the same stupid teenage boy he was all those years ago. The only difference is that he knows with absolute certainty that he can’t just walk up to you and apologize.

You are not that forgiving.

The professor claps to get everyone’s attention. His voice bears a slight Spanish accent, and he speaks softly but with a quiet power, not unlike the force of a priest at his altar. “My name is Professor Juan Madrid; you can call me Juan. This is Life Writing. Is everyone in the right place?”

A murmur of confirmation ripples through the class.

“Good. These are my lovely peer educators, Jung Jaehyun and Y/n L/n.” Professor Madrid gestures to the corner where you and the pretty-boy sit. “They are warriors; they are also two of the best writers on this campus. Do you guys want to introduce yourselves and say a little something about the class? Maybe something you learned that you thought was valuable?”

“Sure. I’ll go first.” Jaehyun raises his hand and waves at the class, smiling.

It’s a bright, honest smile, no pride or arrogance, but Taeyong resents it anyway. “My name is Jaehyun, and y/n forced me to be a peer educator with her, but I love the written word. I think it’s a really powerful way to convey emotions, and taking classes with Juan has really helped me express myself better. You can just call me Jae.”

“Y/n, how about you?”

A dreamy, pensive smile curves your lips, and you— there is no better word for it— begin to glow. You look...

...happy.

“The best advice I can give you is that good writing starts with honesty. Anne Lamott, one of the authors you’ll be reading this quarter, calls it ‘radical vulnerability’. You might have to talk about the most devastating moments of your life, and some of the brightest, and you can’t do yourself justice if you censor yourself. There’s a lot of power in being honest.”

The professor nods in approval. “Very true. We’ll talk more about radical vulnerability in a week or two.”

I don’t know her. Taeyong stares down at the packet, not really seeing or processing the words. It seems like you are not just a whole new person, but part of a whole new world as well.

“—the final paper will involve the writing of a short autobiography that engages on your own notion of ‘self’—”

I spent four years discovering myself.

It’s only right that she did too.

“—we will work in small groups called familias. Raise your hand when I call your name, so y/n and Jae can see you, and so you can see who will be in your familia.”

He doesn’t see you slip out the door to use the bathroom, barely thinks to raise his hand when he hears his name called to be in Jae’s group. He looks out the window again, and in the face of the sunrise’s impending radiance, he closes his eyes and exhales.

He called her ‘angel’.

11:30am—

[11:46] Ten: soooooo...

[11:47] Ten: i heard from johnny that u saw she-who-must-not-be-named

[11:49] Ten: ngl, i completely forgot to warn u 😳

[11:51] Taeyong: are you sure you didn’t just choose not to?

[11:53] Ten: 🙄🙄🙄

[11:53] Ten: what kind of friend do u think i am???

[11:53] Taeyong: 😐

[11:55] Ten: OKAY but at least i didn’t tell her that ur back

[11:57] Ten: ….. yet 🤐

[12:02] Taeyong: please don’t

[12:02] Ten: she’s not exactly going to be happy ur back u know

[12:03] Ten: u basically ghosted her for like, four years

[12:03] Ten: u can’t just pop up n be like “hey guess what i’m a MAN now”

[12:07] Taeyong: yeah, you’re right

[12:07] Ten: damn straight i’m right 😤

[12:08] Ten: wait,,, ur not supposed to agree with me

[12:08] Ten: what happened

[12:08] Ten: spill the tea 😠

[12:08] Taeyong: i think she’s dating someone

[12:10] Ten: 😨

[12:10] Ten: well, i mean…

[12:10] Ten: how do u feel about it

[12:11] Taeyong: 🙃

[12:11] Ten: do u need cute puppy videos

[12:12] Taeyong: no

[12:12] Taeyong: i’m fine

[12:15] Ten: [link]

The morning after Winter Ball—

It’s an unspoken tradition for everyone to skip out on class the Monday after a dance, but Taeyong doesn’t realize his mistake until he walks into his first period class and the classroom is missing both the teacher and most of the students. Strangely enough, though, Ten is there, sitting slouched in the teacher’s chair at the front of the room and regarding the green apple resting on the desk with contempt. He nods in greeting, but doesn’t look up from the fruit. “Didn’t anyone tell you not to come to class today?”

“What about you?” he counters, clambering onto the nearest desk and discarding his backpack onto the seat. “Could’ve gone to the movies or slept in late.”

“AP Dance,” Ten says shortly, poking the apple distastefully. Then he leans back, resting both feet atop the desk and ignoring the papers that go scattering when he does so. “Mr. Richards went to go print some papers at the library.”

Then the door clicks, and creaks open. Taeyong turns to look, and behind him, he hears a squeak, clatter, and bang, along with a loud “oh, fuck!” as the teacher peeks his head through the door, eyes glistening with amusement behind his thin rectangular glasses. “He-llo?~”

“Good morning, Mr. Richards,” Taeyong says dutifully, glancing over his shoulder. Ten is gathering himself off of the floor along with the papers he’d dropped earlier.

“Good morning, boys,” the teacher says breezily, dropping a foot-tall stack of papers on his desk. Head tilted slightly, he smiles down at Ten like the boy hasn’t just been caught in his seat. “Hmm. Ten. That chair can be rather uncomfortable. Is that why you’ve fallen?”

Mutely, Ten picks up the chair and places it back in its original position.

“Oh, how kind of you.” Mr. Richards adjusts his tie, tilts his head again, and claps his hands

together. “Do you two have anything to do for this class period? Homework, maybe?”

“Nope.” Ten takes the seat next to Taeyong and slouches down as low as humanly possible.

“No?” Mr. Richards glances at the apple on his desk, ever so slightly out of place, and rotates it until it’s just right. “Mr. Lee, how about you?”

“Not really,” Taeyong replies, though he knows exactly where the teacher is going with this.

“Then you won’t mind helping me put these notes together for next class, when everyone is back from, ah… being sick.” He claps again, then slides a stapler towards Ten. “Thank you~”

A soft knock sounds at the door, and Mr. Richards lets out a little gasp. “That’ll be my favorite student with the rest of the papers~ Can one of you get the door, please?”

Ten groans. “There are more?”

“I’ll get it,” Taeyong volunteers, sliding out of his seat and tugging the door open. For a moment, the glare of the silver morning gloom makes him blink. And then his eyes refocus, and he looks right into the very same pair of eyes that had transfixed him the night before.

The girl looks almost offended by his attention, mouth set in a hard line as she stares up at him with a thick stack of papers threatening to teeter out of her arms. When he doesn’t budge, she nods jerkily at the door, expression shifting into mild annoyance. “Excuse me.”

“Oh. Ah. My bad.” He steps aside to let her in, and wonders why his cheeks heat when she sits on top of the desk beside his.

A smirk crosses Ten’s face as he looks between the two of them and connects the dots. “Hey, good morning.”

“Didn’t think you’d be here today, Ten. Hello to you too.” She drops the papers on his desk with a chuckle. Then she turns to the teacher. “Hello, Mr. Richards,” she says, waggling her fingers in greeting. “I heard I’m your favorite student?”

“Oh, it was just a joke. I think you need to submit your homework on time in order to be my favorite student.” Mr. Richards titters.

She laughs softly— then regards Taeyong with a curious look. Only then does he realize he’s been staring. She doesn’t address him, though, instead looks questioningly at Ten, who meets her gaze with a grin. He opens his mouth to speak, but Taeyong kicks him under the desk before he can.

And as his friend winces from the blow, he seizes his chance.

“Uh— it’s good to see you again,” he starts. “I had—um… it was fun last night.”

Ten cringes so hard that he bangs his knee against the bottom of the desk. With a yowl, he drops his stapler and cradles his leg.

The girl contemplates Taeyong, tilting her head as she studies his features, gaze running along the lines of his jaw up to his temples. And when she finally looks into his eyes, hers light up.

“Ah,” she hums, and there’s a world of understanding in that one sound that he doesn’t share. “You.”

He nods, fighting the urge to gulp. Even though her voice is soft, and she sits at ease atop her throne, he feels oddly small before the intensity of her gaze.

She watches him as he shifts his weight in his seat, then gestures at his arm. “Do you mind if I finish that?”

“Finish— what?”

She raises a brow and points at the almost-gone but faintly-still-there flower blooming on his wrist. Gingerly, he offers it to her, and she gives a tiny nod of approval, pulling a marker from her pocket. When her fingers meet his skin, the warmth spreads from his cheeks and echoes into his chest, and he shivers. He hadn’t even realized he was cold in the first place.

She traces the lines of his wrist, following the thin strands of blood vessels with the point of her marker, gripping his arm tight to keep him from moving.

“I’m sorry.” She says this so softly that he has to lean in closer to hear her better, her breath grazing his ear when she adds, “I never asked you for your name.”

“It’s Taeyong.” He holds back a laugh as her fingers scratch across his wrist and tickle him. “I didn’t ask for yours, either, so I’m just as bad.”

After a moment or two, she sits back, chewing on the cap of the marker thoughtfully. “Done.”

He looks down at his arm. Where there had only been the faintest outline of a little flower, there is now a bouquet of hibiscus blooming across the back of his hand, stems spiraling down his arm up until where his veins vanish, at which point they curl into little swirls.

Feeling the weight of her gaze on him once more, he looks up. Their eyes meet, and as if she’s dismissing some untoward thought, she shakes her head. Then she leans forward, and he feels his heart halt and stutter at her smile. It is easy, unlike everything else about her, and gentle. It perplexes him.

“Nice to meet you, Taeyong. I’m y/n.”

From here on out I will refer to the reader as ‘you’. I intended to keep it as ‘the girl’ and ‘she’ in flashbacks until the point at which they met properly, and this is it. Welcome to the true beginning.

a/n 2.0: what did you think of this chapter? it’s been in the works for so long that i don’t even know what to think about it tbh, so any feedback would be great, thank you for reading! ♥

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streetlites · 4 years

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Here's 15 questions to answer before tagging 15 people

I was tagged by @silverspringsimmer and someone else but I can’t find the notification anymore. And also @tabbyrhsims4simblr while I was answering questions and opened my phone to... look at tumblr. 🤦🏽 Thank you for thinking of me! ♥

Are you named after anyone? Maybe? My mother wanted to name me Rochelle, my father wanted to name me Lisa. He said she sent him home to pick up some of her things from home and, when he came back, my name was officially Leslie. Yeah, my parents are absolutely like that. My mom says it’s from a telenovela she was watching but doesn’t remember the name of it or if it was the character’s or the actress’ name. XD

When was the last time you cried? I don’t remember. It’s been months since I’ve outright cried but I get teary at EVERYTHING sentimental immediately before Shark Week. Did a kid hug their mother on a commercial? My eyes just watered. Ugh.

Do you have kids? One!

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really, surprisingly. If I’m using it, I don’t have patience for the person/conversation I’m in.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? The way they act? I guess it’s more like their mood.

What’s your eye colour? Light grey-blue. They look either grey or blue depending on the lighting.

Scary movie or happy ending? I used to love horror movies until my husband made it his mission to watch every. single. horror movie on Netflix and Amazon. Now I think they’re boring, so happy endings. Definitely.

Any special talent? I can fit my fist in my mouth? It’s not useful; my jaw starts hurting because I have a piece of gum in my mouth virtually 24/7. I also have the ability to absolutely ruin baked goods, even when following recipes to the letter.

What country were you born in? Assembled in Panama, off the line in the USA.

What are your hobbies? Writing, decorating in the sims, and listening to music/finding music to listen to.

Do you have any pets? Two cats. My dobbie that would have been turning 12 this year passed in January.

What sports do you play/have you played? Soccer

How tall are you? 5′2.5″; 5′3″ in shoes. Anywhere from 5′6-5′8″ in heels. XD

Favourite subject(s) in school? Anatomy! I took it in HS, then took I, II, and oral anatomy in college. Am I in a health related field? Nope. 😅 I took creative writing thinking that I’d like it but I really didn’t enjoy it.

Dream job? Anything that’ll get me to retirement with a fat pension.

I’ve seen a lot of people do this and I don’t know who has been tagged and who has not. So, do it if you feel like it and say I tagged you - I’ll back you on it XD

#nonsims #tagged #saviorhide

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reynoso79-blog · 4 years

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The Simpsons - A Commentary on American Culture

No one could have predicted that the grungy drawings of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson on the sketch parody program, "The Tracey Ullman Show" would change into a tremendously worshiped pack hit among watchers everything being proportionate and establishments. As the longest running restored course of action all through the whole closeness of TV, it is in like turnpike one of the most esteemed. "The Simpsons" scenes are routinely themed around advancing new unanticipated turns of events – even imperfect subjects, for instance, gay marriage and religion in state financed schools. There is nothing of the sort as difficult to show up at point on "The Simpsons." Topics on the show are facilitated distraction that is truly spun around all ages, races, sexual course and religions rick simpson oil .

Credits

Producer and authority creator, Matt Groening is attributed with restoring the excess satire to prime time TV with the introduction of "The Simpson's" hypothesis on Fox in 1989. Official creator James L. Streams is an Emmy and Academy award winning producer and creator of films that wire Terms of Endearment and As Good as it Gets. Al Jean is the third official creator other than head producer (Simpsons, 2006). As a stunning little attestation, staff writer, Daniel Chun is the more fiery get-together of a juvenile this author dated in assistant school. Al Jean and Mike Scully are in like manner two fundamental researchers.

Regardless of the conspicuous VIP guest stars who have voiced different sensational characters on the show, it is the voices of the standard characters that are central and key to the show's continued with progress. Everything considered striking for giving out the general filtered through "D'oh!" as Homer Simpson, Dan Castallaneta past Tracey Ullman cast part, is other than Mayor Quimby, Grandpa Simpson and Groundskeeper Willie among others. What's logically a Tracey Ullman alumna, Julie Kavner prompts her voice to Marge Simpson and her two upsetting Homer-disdaining, MacGyver focused, chain smoking sisters Patty and Selma. Nancy Cartwright is the voice of multi year old Bart Simpson, paying little mind to Ralph Wiggum, Nelson Muntz and Todd Flanders. Focus youthful, multi year old Lisa Simpson is outlined by Yeardley Smith. Both Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer offer voices to different Springfield's essential characters (Simpsons, 2006).

The Simpsons' Lucrative Heyday

In its exactly on an ideal opportunity to mid-'90s importance days, "The Simpsons" was less at the height of clear quality and evaluations, at any rate the show was gathering a few millions in referenced thing bargains. Parties couldn't get enough stunning Homers that drooled "Mmmm… doughnuts" or battery worked Barts hollering "Announced carumba!" at the push of his mid-locale, paying little psyche to PC games, dress, home enhancements from this time forward commonly more. Bart's catchphrases which included "Don't have a dairy creatures man!" and "Eat my shorts" were heard everywhere. Near the evaluations, systems of Simpsons referenced things have declined starting late, yet the section scholars' and producers' undertakings to keep the show new and attracting have not gone unnoticed by various watchers who have remained focused on the inhabitants of Springfield, USA.

A Window into Our Nation

How the show is set in a dull state shows an effort concerning the stars to reflect American culture everything considered in each scene. This has related with the show to draw watchers from wherever all through the country. For instance, a show like "Sex and the City" may have an especially beast after of New York watchers, while "The Simpsons" with its unidentified setting can interface all Americans. The two-story Simpson home on Evergreen Terrace energetically shows up additionally as a standard home in an American suburb – short the festival like striking shades.

The Main Characters – the Simpson family

The show is based around the Simpson nuclear family model of two watchmen, 2.5 young people (Maggie could be considered the .5 thinking about her as deficiency to talk) notwithstanding cats, Snowball I, II and III and ensured about greyhound, Santa's Little Helper. The family structure and character characters reflect standard American checks. While the Simpsons are truly broken, (as show by one of the past scenes where the family experienced incapacitated individual treatment with Dr. Marvin Monroe to vanquish their issues), finally, we when in doubt have issues, at any rate toward the day's end, there is an enormous level of warmth and solidarity in different families. This is unmistakably, if you pardon the trustworthy introductions of youth abuse where Homer stiflers Bart until his eyes swell off of his brain and the way that kid Maggie is certainly once in a while wandered out from home alone.

Submitted adornment and mother Marge is a tribute to enduring American moms. She is the heart, soul and glue of the Simpson family. As opposed to her life right hand, Marge doesn't have any mates or time to be social as she is an over the top level of clamoring paying unprecedented cerebrum to her adored one and adolescents. Homer, who has a huge level of irrelevant progression mates, is the pulverizing imbecile of a genuine proximity embellishment and father. What he needs sharp, he makes up in mix use at his kept up watering opening, Moe's Tavern. He isn't for each condition completely gave to his family and is continually fuming and crazy, yet near the fulfillment of most scenes, he picks the best choice – and that is the spot we see the spirit of the American father.

Bart is the artfulness, free vivacious most settled youth who uncovers burden all finished, regardless, like his father, as a last resort finds recuperation and a liberal closeness practice before the accreditation of a scene. Lisa is the totally evident still, little voice of the Simpson family. An especially read, caring youth who follows Buddhism and perpetual new unexpected new turns of events, Lisa can in like course chuckle with Bart at the especially energetic scenes of the cat and mouse enemies, Itchy and Scratchy. Kid Maggie, while the humblest and calmest character, says a great deal with the sucking of her pacifier. Managers have dependably given Maggie a discernible information and care that isolates her young age. She even has a uni-browed baby adolescent pre-grown-up kid foe.

Social Commentary

Notwithstanding the Simpson family central characters, the show features packs and unquestionable Springfield tenants with staggering records and excited characters, all of which address the focal characters an epic bit of us will establishing with the course of our lives. For instance, our country is over-issue with odd government supervisors and Mayor Quimby addresses an absolute vexatious political figure. He is routinely caught in exchanging off positions selling out Springfield and swaying with young people, yet he remains in force and no one in the town seems to shudder an eyelash. Completely when he even addresses the townspeople as "botching hicks" and they are not sifted through by it.

Punching fun of the police structure, The Simpsons features Police Chief Clancy Wiggum, perhaps the second most essential bozo on the hotshot near Homer. He is in peril for Springfield's security and thriving with his two side-kicks who rout Wiggum in information. His stagger factor is wavering and the town would be in a perfect circumstance rushed toward dread based oppressor savages with access to weapons of mass pummeling. Any police chairman who says "Aww, wouldn't anyone have the decision to in this town censure all position?" may not be the most qualified open entries for the turn of events (Simpsons, 2006).

Estimation of the Elderly

The show other than limits the fundamental issue of old dismissal. Homer's father, Grandpa Simpson, lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle. A surrendered war sifted specific, Grandpa was hard for Homer in his pubescence. As perhaps a kind of subconscious response, Homer put Grandpa in a home where his own fulfillment is poor. Doubtlessly Grandpa and various tenants are regulated genuinely. His ill-manners is clear when in one event, Grandpa won't let Homer get the phone with the objective that he can "respect the rings." Yet Grandpa appears in changed scenes as a singing, hypnotizing character who credits his novel, upsetting outlandishness to the show. Potentially the specialists are endeavoring to plot that different old paying little respect to everything have a great deal to contribute and should not be disposed of as aggravations.

Phil Hartman

The late Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live acknowledgment influenced his voice to two prosaism Simpsons characters: miserable authentic guide Lionel Hutz and lighting up film star, Troy McClure. Troy McClure would normally progress by saying something like "Howdy, I'm Troy McClure! You may review me from such open assistance stories as 'Alloted Drivers, the Lifesaving Nerds' and 'Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness'" (Troymcclurepage, 2006). Troy was a boggling of a character a broad bit of us found in our giganticness in potentially a couple of state maintained school films that by chance held any illuminating worth.

Certifiable guide Lionel Hutz was a crude, salvage vehicle filtering for after, picked authority who now and again out of the blue appeared in a situation where his confirmed "achievement" may have helped him advantage by somehow. His authentic practice was named "I Can't Believe it's a Law Firm!" and offered clients gleams, for instance, a free pizza if their settlements were not formed in a brief timeframe or less (Lionel Hutz, 2006). Lionel's character unfalteringly exemplified the hypothesis of the unquenchable, money grubbing confirmed help.

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oxatouchofthewickedxo · 4 years

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Saturn’s Return

this post is more for my own benefit bc my memory sucks so you can stop reading now if ya want.

so a while back when i watched parks and recreation all the way through for the first time, i got very intrigued by the conversation that donna and april had about the concept of saturn’s return. which if you don’t know, saturn will return to the exact spot it was when you were born around 27-29 years later. apparently this is a time for rebirth and renewal as well as a shedding of your child self so you can begin the process of growing up and becoming an adult.

not too long after that, i happened to be really paying attention to the lyrics of “the grudge” by tool in which maynard talks about saturn ascending and forcing you to make a choice in your life. didn’t really do much research on it at the time because i was actually in the bath tub while listening to it and like i said, my memory is terrible so by the time i got out and got dressed, it slipped my mind.

last night, my best friend came over to my fiance & i’s house and somehow this concept of saturn’s return came up in conversation which sparked the tool song in my head again. i began to look into it and apparently this theory is extremely prevalent in the land o’ tool. i’m just gonna list the things that may be all in my head but considering maynard and the insanity of all that tool is, i highly doubt it:

1. at least 2 songs have this concept as a theme: the grudge and jambi

2. 10,000 days is the title of an album as well as a song. saturn’s return takes roughly 10,000 days.

3. opiate came out in 1992, 10,000 days came out in 2006, and fear inoculum came out this year, 2019. so in my opinion, opiate is like the birth of tool, 10,000 days come out 14 years later which suggests they are midway through their journey as a band, then in 2019 which is 27 years later, saturn returns and tool as we know them have reached their peak. so i believe that if tool does in fact make another album after this, they may not be the tool we are all used to.

4. lateralus is 78 minutes and 51 seconds long. 78 minus 51 is 27.

5. the grudge is 8 minutes and 36 seconds long, 36-8 is 28.

please note that i do realize that lateralus came out before 10,000 days but i am just pointing out the constant use of these numbers throughout the band’s history. if i didn’t know maynard the way that i do, i would think these were all just coincidences but i have learned so many times throughout the last 9 years that there literally are NO coincidences in this band. everything has meaning. LITERALLY everything.

as far as my personal experiences with saturn’s return, i truly believe this is a real thing. my fiance was 28 years old when we met in 2010 and he turned 29 3 months later. this was a time of internal struggle, self discovery, and straight up insanity for him. he had been using crack for about 4 years at this point and was at this precipice with it where he literally hated how the drug made him feel but his addiction would get the best of him every time and he would end up using. however, something came over him one day and he decided that he wasn’t going to let this happen anymore so he voluntarily went to rehab and he came home a new man. sure, there have been a couple of slip ups here and there, but no binges and definitely a different type of regret afterwards. literally from that moment that he made his mind up to better himself, he has been a completely different person. he is the most incredible human being i know and i am so grateful for whatever clicked in his brain to make him change.

flash forward to now and i am currently 29 years old and the last 4 months have been the most life shaping ones of my life. on august 13th of this year i got fired from my job. 2 weeks later, the cops showed up at our house looking for me. luckily, i had literally just left 5 minutes before this so i didn’t end up in jail. turns out there was a warrant out for my arrest due to a driving under suspension charge i had gotten in may when i got pulled over for speeding. i had absolutely no idea my license was suspended by the way. but anyway, i completely forgot to go to my court date and for some reason, they never sent me anything about the rescheduled one so hence the warrant. due to the fact that not only was i unemployed, but also the cops showed up twice in one day, my fiance’s grandparents told him i could no longer live in our house which we rent from them and is behind theirs. they are super old school so the minute anything like this happens, they think the worst. i had nowhere else to go, so i in the blink of an eye was homeless. prior to losing my job, i had been going to the methadone clinic for over a year in order to get off heroin. because i could no longer afford my methadone, i immediately fell back in with my heroin dealer who was like my big brother, so instead of giving me dope for money, he gave me dope for rides to work. so here i was, homeless, back on heroin, and completely uncaring and oblivious to the shit hole i had dug for myself. all of this led to me driving 2.5 hours to my father’s house on october 11th. i came completely clean with my dad, told him about all the horrible things i had been doing over the last few years, and begged him to let me stay with him for a while in order to get my shit together which i thought was very doable since i was no longer in my city around drugs and enablers. instead though, my dad’s solution was to ship me off to a 12 MONTH LONG FAITH BASED “recovery program.” i should add that i do not believe in the christian god at all and think that organized religion is a joke and he knows this about me. to make matters worse, they also did not allow me to have ANY correspondence with my fiance who i have been with for 9 years and has been my ONLY support system during this time. i am talking no phone calls, no visits, and not even letters back and forth. as if all that wasn’t enough to make me want to kill myself, they also didn’t offer any type of medically assisted detox. i was told all that would be available to me was ibuprofen, rest, and water. if you’ve never gone through opiate withdrawal, then you have no freaking clue about the hell that i was about to be in for. i can’t even put what dope sickness feels like into words. it is literally the worst thing i have ever experienced in my life. i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. there’s a lyric from the highly suspect song “bath salts” that kind of describes it perfectly....”6 AM, there goes the moon, i feel like death is coming soon & oh, all i wanna do is fucking sleep.” which is about damn right because you feel like you are dying and no matter what you do, you can’t sleep. no amount of downers or sleeping pills can calm those restless legs bruh. but anyway...i am getting off track. i knew going into this bullshit that i wasn’t going to make it. not because of me wanting to use again, but because i was going to have jesus literally crammed down my throat and the absence of matthew from my life for a year was just NOT going to happen. adding insult to injury, the day i went into this god forsaken place was october 14th, ONE FUCKING DAY before our 9 year anniversary. the only thing i even wanna say about my time at this place right now was that they are satists because they would only give me ibuprofen, etc. once a day, i was only allowed to “rest” the first 3 days i was there and this rest was either laying across the world’s most uncomfortable chairs or on the freezing ass cold floor of a fucking church sanctuary. anyways, on the weekends we were FORCED to go all over the east coast in small groups to fundraise in order to “earn our keep”...we had to do this for 13 hours a day every friday and saturday. fast forward to my 2nd weekend there and my 2nd day of my 2nd fundraiser. i’m not sure what came over me, but something inside me snapped. i reached my “i cannot take this shit anymore” point. we went inside the walmart we were fundraising at and i stole one of those small personal boxes of wine, went into the bathroom, and shotgunned the fuck out of this thing. once we were back outside at our table, i waited until it was my turn to “man” the table and my leader’s turn to “work the door” and i went into her bookbag & stole the $550 we had raised the day before. i then asked her if i could go get my tennis shoes out of the van and when i did that, i also grabbed my id and social security card out of my wallet. a couple of minutes later, i asked for a bathroom break which we were not allowed to take alone, so as soon as she went inside a stall, i turned around and ran like a crazy person out of that store & across the street to metro pcs to get a cell phone. after that, i went to walgreens where i got a prepaid debit card and ordered a lyft to a hotel where i got a room for the night. once i got settled, i first made plans with my dealer to come home and get up with him. we looked into me taking a lyft home but that would have cost $200 so we decided i would wait til the morning and take a bus. not sure what it was but something kept telling me that it was a horrible idea to do all of that. it kept getting stronger and when my gut talks to me like that, i listen, so i knew i needed a plan b. i don’t know what put this thought in my head, but i decided to call this guy i had worked with a few years ago. i worked at a pest control company as a schedule coordinator and he was one of the technicians i scheduled for. we lived in different states, about 4 hours away from one another, but we talked on the phone constantly obviously. during the time i worked there, we grew incredibly close and even after i stopped working there, we maintained a relationship and anytime he had to come to my city, which is where the corporate office is located, we would get together. in 2016, i even cheated on my fiance with him. this kid was head over heels in love with me, but i never felt the same way, but me being my typical bitchy self, i preyed on that to my advantage. he and i hadn’t spoken since shortly after we hooked up in 2016, but he literally jumped in his car the moment i asked and was on the way to come get me. unfortunately, his car broke down on the interstate like 45 minutes after he left, so i ended up getting a bus ticket to where he lives the next morning. he came and got me at the bus station and all of a sudden, i was in a different state, 4 hours from home, and living with a man who was not my fiance whom at this point i hadn’t even called yet. i was terrified to tell him about what i had done because i was so ashamed. i didn’t want to disappoint him yet again because at this point, that’s all i was doing. fast forward to 2 weeks later and my fiance found out that i had decided i was going to stay where i was and be with this other dude because i had convinced myself i didn’t need him and that i was living my best life, so of course, he stopped talking to me and said he was done. for 5 days, i didn’t try to contact him or even look at my phone, but one night while the new guy was at work, i was laying in bed watching how i met your mother and seeing marshall and lily made me miss my fiance on a physically painful level. so, i finally caved and turned my phone on even though i knew that any communication from him was going to be negative and horribly mean. instead though, i only had one message from him and it was the sweetest msg ever saying he was going to always love me and be waiting for me if i wanted him, but he wasn’t going to interfere with my happiness if this new dude made me happy. i immediately called him and we stayed on the phone for 2 hours during which we made the plan for him to come rescue me. that was on a tuesday and we planned for him to come pick me up the following monday. those were the longest 5 days of my life. when we finally were together again, he picked me up, i wrapped my legs around him, and we kissed. it was at that moment i knew that he is my fucking home. there will never be anyone for me but him. those 37 days without him were the most agonizing days of my life and i swear i will never be away from him again.

so to bring this to a close, my saturn’s return literally returned me to my home in the literal and figurative sense. i have learned more about myself and about what life is about in the last 4 months than i ever have in my 29 years of life. things are far from perfect right now, but i am somehow at peace because for once, i listened to my heart instead of trying to please everyone else. i can’t explain to you the realizations i have come to in these last few weeks, but i am beyond clear headed and i know without a doubt i did the right thing for my sanity. this saturn’s return shit is real and is no fucking joke.

PS....AS OF 12/12/19, I WILL BE OFF OF OPIATES FOR 2 MONTHS AND THAT IS THE LONGEST CLEAN TIME I HAVE HAD FROM THEM IN 8 FUCKING YEARS SO AYYYYYYE! lol

#saturnsreturn #saturn #life #addiction #opiates #tool #maynardjameskeenan #rehab

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tamboradventure · 5 years

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13 Off-the-Beaten-Path Things to See and Do in Paris

Posted: 6/24/2019 | June 24th, 2019

Paris is filled with famous attractions: the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Versailles, the catacombs, the Pantheon, the Arc de Triomphe, Sacre-Coeur. The list goes on. There are so many amazing sites here that you could spend days (heck, even weeks) just seeing the main, most well-known ones.

But there’s more to Paris than the sites that attract thousands upon thousands of visitors each day. While I was living Paris the past few months, I made it my mission to see some of the more unusual, lesser-known (but equally awesome) attractions (that didn’t coming with the aggravating crowds that make so many of Paris’ attractions unbearable).

And, while some of the things on the list below might not be “super secret” attractions or activities, they do fall into the category of “over looked attractions” so I included them.

Here are some of the best off-the-beaten-path things to see and do in Paris:

1. Le Manoir de Paris

This is where macabre museum meets haunted house. Numerous rooms highlight some of the more unsettling aspects of Paris’s long and often dark past, such as the Phantom of the Opera, vampires, or the crocodiles in the sewers. Using real actors as well as animatronics, the city’s gruesome and unsettling history is brought to life in an interesting way. In addition to their museum, they also have escape rooms as well as different levels of intensity depending on how scared you get!

18 Rue de Paradis, +33 6 70 89 35 87, lemanoirdeparis.com. Open Fridays 6pm-9:30pm and weekends 3pm-6:30pm. Admission is 29 EUR for adults and 20 EUR for children 10-15.

2. Musée Édith Piaf

Édith Piaf is perhaps the most famous French singer from the 1930s to the 1960s, and know around the world for her song La vie en rose and Non, je ne regrette rien (which appeared in the movie Inception). She lived in a little apartment in the Ménilmontant district at the start of her career, which has been turned into tiny museum dedicated to her. You get a glimpse at her life through her gold and platinum records, photographs, clothing, letters from fans, posters, recordings, and sheet music.

5 Rue Crespin du Gast, +33 1 43 55 52 72. Open Monday-Wednesday 1pm-6pm and Thursdays 10am-12pm. Admission is free, but you’ll need to make an appointment. You’ll also want to either speak decent French or go with someone who does.

3. Musée Curie

Marie Curie was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize (and the only woman to win it twice) for her research into radioactivity (a word that she invented). She was the first female professor at the University of Paris as well as the first woman to be entombed in the Panthéon on her own merits. Located in the 5th arrondissement, this museum, in her old laboratory, highlights her radiological research. It’s insightful and eye-opening for anyone unfamiliar with her historic discoveries.

1 Rue Pierre et Marie Curie, +33 1 56 24 55 33, musee.curie.fr. Open Wednesday-Saturday 1pm-5pm. Admission is free.

4. Archives Nationales

Opened in 1867, the National Archives houses thousands of historical documents dating back to 625 CE. One of six national archives in the country, the museum sheds light on France’s turbulent past, providing nuanced historical details and context through permanent and temporary exhibitions.

Built by the order of Napoleon I, the building itself (known as the Hôtel de Soubise) is absolutely stunning. It is in the late Baroque style, embracing long columns and lots of statues and sculptures. It features immaculate grounds and gardens as well. They always hold a lot of good exhibitions too.

59 Rue Guynemer, +33 1 75 47 20 02, archives-nationales.culture.gouv.fr/en. Open Monday-Saturday 9am-5pm. Admission is 8 EUR per person.

5. The Gallery of Paleontology and Comparative Anatomy

Opened in 1898, this museum is home to over 1,000 animal skeletons from around the world, including complete skeletons of elephants, large cats, and even dinosaurs. It’s as interesting as it is unsettling: all the animals are facing the same way, making it look like you’re in the midst of some undead stampede!

2 Rue Buffon, +33 1 40 79 56 01, http://bit.ly/2B0lruZ. Open daily 10am-6pm (closed Tuesdays). Admission is free.

6. The Vampire Museum

Paris has a long history with the esoteric, one that is brought to life in this fascinating (if not macabre) museum founded by an eccentric scholar to showcase his knowledge of the undead and esoteric. Here you’ll find vampire-killing kits, rare texts on demonology, and mysterious ancient relics. It’s a busy, eclectic, creepy museum that’s a feast for the eyes and one worthy of a visit if you’re at all interested in more obscure (and fanciful) tales. It’s a fun little, kitsch museum.

14 Rue Jules David, +33 1 43 62 80 76, artclips.free.fr/musee_des_vampires/MuseeVampires1.html. You’ll need to make an appointment in advance by phone. (Don’t worry if the voicemail greeting is in French — the curator speakers perfect English).

7. Petite Ceinture

In use from 1862 through 1964, the railway circling Paris was abandoned when the city expanded beyond its limits. It’s mostly hidden behind buildings and covered in wild plants and grass now, though some sections are now officially open to the public. You’ll find all sorts of flowers and street art along the tracks.

While some sections are illegal to visit, near Parc Georges Brassens you’ll find a section of the tracks known as the ‘Passage de la Petite Ceinture’ that is both free and legal to visit. It’s located in the 15e arrondissement.

8. The Salvador Dalí Sundial

This surrealist sundial was created by world-renowned artist Salvador Dalí. Located on Rue Saint-Jacques, it’s is a mix of a human face and a scallop shell (the symbol of the Camino to Santiago, since the street is named after the saint). While the sundial doesn’t actually work, it’s nevertheless an easy way to see a piece of artwork by one of the most famous artists in the world.

27 Rue Saint-Jacques. Open 24/7 with no admission.

9. Montmartre Cemetery

While the Père Lachaise Cemetery is the largest and most popular in Paris, for a more secluded stroll, check out the Montmartre Cemetery. Plenty of people visit the top of Montmartre for Sacré-Coeur and the view, but few take the time to wander this cemetery sitting at the foot of the district. It opened in 1825 and is home to many cobwebbed mausoleums, as well as a handful of stray cats. You won’t see many people here, so you can explore in peace.

20 Avenue Rachel, +33 1 53 42 36 30, paris.fr/equipements/cimetiere-de-montmartre-5061. Open Monday-Friday 8am-6pm, Saturdays 8:30am-6pm, and Sundays 9am-6pm.

10. The Museum of Counterfeiting

Opened in 1972, this museum is home to counterfeit items that have been collected by France’s customs agents and police (as well as donated items from brands and consumers alike). There are over 500 items in the museum, ranging from counterfeit art and luxury goods to more mundane items, like cleaning supplies. While some knockoffs are impressive in their duplicity, it’s also funny to see just how bad some counterfeiters were!

16 Rue de la Faisanderie, +33 1 56 26 14 03, musee-contrefacon.com. Open Monday-Saturday 2pm-5:30pm. Admission is 6 EUR per person for adults and 5 EUR for students and seniors.

11. Promenade Planteé (Coulée verte René-Dumont)

This tree-lined walkway is a greenbelt that extends almost 5km along the old Vincennes railway line. The railway line ceased functioning in 1969, with the park being inaugurated a few decades afterward. Until New York built their High Line, it was the only elevated park in the entire world. (And, honestly, this is way nicer the the NYC High Line). You’ll find lots of trees, flowers, ponds, and places to sit along this long path that stretches from Bastile to the edge of Paris. It’s al ong really easy and beautiful walk. You won’t find many people here. Even on a nice day, it’s rather empty. It quickly became one of my favorite things to do in Paris and I can’t recommend coming here enough!

1 Coulée verte René-Dumont (12th arrondissement). Open daily from 8am-9:30pm. Admission is free.

12. Canal Saint-Martin

Stretching 4.5km, the Canal Saint-Martin is a man-made waterway commissioned by Napoleon. Construction finished in 1825, connecting the Canal de l’Ourcq to the Seine via both above ground locks and underground tunnels. While not any secret spot (on a nice day, you’ll find the canal lined with people), it’s mostly a spot for locals who want to have a picnic and relax. So, say no to the Siene, and come have your outdoor picnic along the canal. It’s more relaxing and there will be fewer people!

The canal starts at Place de Stalingrad and ends at Quai de la Râpée. Canal cruises last 2.5 hours and cost around 16 EUR per person.

13. Museé de Montmartre

Founded in 1960, this museum is located throughout two building that date back to the 17th century. Over the years, the buildings were home to many famous writers and painters. The gardens of the museum were actually renovated to look more like the gardens in Renoir’s paintings (there is also a vineyard nearby that dates back to the Middle Ages but it makes horrible wine). The museum’s permanent collection includes a wide variety of paintings, posters, and drawings.

12 Rue Cortot, +33 1 49 25 89 39, museedemontmartre.fr/en/le-musee. Open daily from 10am-6pm (7pm in the summer). Admission is 12 EUR for adults, which includes an audio guide. Discounts are available for students, children, and persons with disabilities.

***

While the main sights in Paris are always worth checking out, but if you want to be more than a tourist and develop a greater appreciation for the City of Light’s unique and complex history, visit these unconventional and unusual attractions in Paris.

Book Your Trip to Paris: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time. Some of my favorite places to stay in Paris are:

St. Christopher’s Canal – Comfy spot on the canal. During the summer months, the terrace is hopping!

3 Ducks Hostel – This hostel has one of the cheapest bars in the city, and it’s just a 10-minute walk to the Eiffel Tower.

Les Piaules – Fantastic chimney lounge, a cool bar, and a rooftop space. It’s a great place to meet people!

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

Looking for more information on visiting Paris? Check out my in-depth destination guide to Paris with more tips on what to see, do, costs, ways to save, and much, much more!

Photo credit: 4 – Adrian Grycuk, 5, 8 – Guilhem Vellut, 6 – Jim Linwood, 9 – Joanna Penn, 10 – Son of Groucho, 12 – PPun, 13 – advencap, 15 – Museé de Montmartre

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whiskynottea · 6 years

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The Ripple Effect

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

AO3

Previously (Chapter 6)

Jamie grabbed my hand, leading me up the stairs to his apartment.

He unlocked the door and slipped in the darkness, taking me with him.

Here we are, Beauchamp.

Chapter 7. Nessie and the Red Phone Booth.

source

Jamie held my hand tight while he turned the lights on. With a subtle click! his life was there, open and bright for me to see it.

I swallowed hard, trying to push the fear back to the pit of my stomach, where it settled for months now. With a breath, I looked around.

It was a studio apartment, furnished only with the basics.

A small kitchen, a narrow dining table, a bed.

Our bed.

That stopped me in my tracks.

The plain solid oak frame supported a thick, half a meter tall bed mattress, which had a mattress on top of it, then a top mattress and finally a toper, what else?

(1.5 years earlier)

We were bouncing on different mattresses like school kids for about an hour, trying to decide which one suited us, and erupting in laughter when the kind lady interrupted our shenanigans to ask us if everything was alright.

I could remember my exact words when Jamie exclaimed “This one!” lying on a four-layer bed that would cost us a fortune.

“You’re kidding me. Come on, Jamie, this is ridiculous!” I took his hand and dragged him off the bed.

But he insisted.

So we bought all four layers, filled with natural products; horsehair, cactus fiber and seaweed.

“Yeah, now that I’m thinking about this, I could never sleep on a bed without seaweed in it.” I mentioned sourly still thinking of the bed’s enormous price.

“Ye’re a selkie, that’s why.” Jamie said, wiggling his eyebrows and setting his teeth on my neck to prove his point.

“Horseshit.” I whispered but smiled nonetheless. We would need the bed ASAP if Jamie continued like this. Any bed, if I wanted to be honest.

“Horsehair, Sassenach. If there were horseshit in there, ye would scrunch this wee nose of yours until…” his whisper was lost as he licked across the side of my neck up to my earlobe.

He never admitted it, but I knew this bed was bought for me, because I often had a sore neck after long shifts and nights spent at the hospital. I knew he could sleep on rocks if need to, and he would be happy with it.

The image of our bed, covering almost half of the relatively small space of his apartment, filled my heart with dreams I didn’t have the courage to hope for before coming back.

Glancing around I realized that more of the furniture was from our place.

His mother’s armchair was standing next to my uncle’s vintage side table, the last thing I had left from him. And on top of it, the trophies of our first date.

A black ceramic Loch Ness monster ornament, next to a bright red London telephone booth.

(2.5 years earlier)

“I have a gift for you.” I announced with a broad grin the moment I saw him outside my apartment building. “Just to remind you who’s always winning around here.” With a cocked eyebrow, indicating who was the aforementioned winner, I handed him the little souvenir, silently praying he wouldn’t be offended.

If only I knew!

“Ye surely know that in Scotland we’re rising when we dinna like our rulers!” He stated with a cunning smile.

Jamie materialized a box from behind his back and gave it to me with a cheeky grin. It was a white box, with a picture of Nessie at the front, and I opened it to find four parts inside – a head, a tale, and two body parts made to look like she was half-emerged in the water. It was beautiful.

“So ye dinna forget where ye are, lass. This is a powerful place, full of mysteries, ye ken.”

That night I learned some of the mysteries hidden in his strong arms and tender lips. And that he liked me as his ruler, but rose nonetheless.

The memories were now running their claws against my heart and I could barely keep myself from falling on the floor and sob for all the things I’d left behind. It was a wander I still had more tears left in me, but it did.

Before I knew it, Jamie’s arms were around me, keeping me upright.

“Come here, Sassenach. Let’s warm you up.” He whispered, and I felt his breath in my ear. I leaned my head towards him, only to be met by thin air. He left me and headed to the wardrobe.

I didn’t move an inch while he was searching in his drawers, afraid that if I’d move I would run straight to his hug. He came back with a towel and pile consisting of a hoodie, sweatpants and clean underwear – all huge, and all his.

I was shocked by this offer. Not that I’d never wore his clothes before, just that I didn’t expect him to be so… open and giving.

Like I’d never left.

I took the clothes and nodded my thanks. When I raised my eyes to his, I found them filled with care and concern.

This man could break my heart just by snapping his fingers.

“You’re all soaked, too. Don’t you want to…” He interrupted me before I could continue my offer.

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. You go take a hot shower and I’ll change into something dry in the meantime.”

I did as I was bid, unable to disagree with him. My wet clothes were clinging on my body, the cold creeping in, and I desperately needed to compose myself before we would talk.

Jamie’s bathroom was small but the shower was big enough to fit him – which made it quite spacious for me. I shed my clothes on the floor and got in, longing to feel the full pressure of the scalding hot water against my skin.

How I wished he would come in to join me, to wash the pain away and make me his again. To feel his body against mine, giving me the absolution I craved for, as he would my frail body with his strength.

He didn’t come, though.

I dried myself and wore his soft clothes, smelling of my favorite conditioner.

My heart melted to the floor, next to my soaked clothes.

Oh, Jamie.

I walked to the room to find him sitting in the armchair, with two glasses of whisky on the side table, next to an almost full whisky bottle. He was well prepared.

He chuckled when he saw me, and I took a lame turn around myself to show off the disaster, in all its greatness. The sweatpants were falling of my hips and I used a rubber hair band to somehow keep them up, while the hoodie could easily fit in me and a duplicate of myself at the same time.

I eyed the whisky with a tiny smile on my face. Jamie shrugged. “I figured we would need it.”

“I reckon we will.” I confirmed, and walked to take my glass.

It was when I leaned in to take my dram that the magic happened. For an instant we forgot ourselves, what had happened, what was going to happen. My hand grazed his arm and the next moment he had grabbed me, pulling me into his lap and kissing me with all he had. Teeth were sinking deep in lips, drawing blood, tongues touched and fought for dominance, out of the need to push the suffering of the past months away. Without realizing how, I found myself straddling him, grinding my body against his, with a hand lost in his hair and the other grasping his tee shirt for dear life. I felt one hand on my scalp, tangled between my wet curls while the other traveled from my thighs up to my butt, until it settled on my waist to pull me closer.

When we came back to ourselves and broke the kiss Jamie held my eyes with his. Our breaths were short and fast, synchronized to let us breath each other in.

It took a while until Jamie averted his eyes. “I’m sorry, Sassenach. I…, I just couldn’t help myself. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I had no words. To feel this man’s passion again, woven seamlessly with his love and care, was the best gift anyone had ever given me. I kissed him in reply, a light flicker of my lips against his and I moved away.

With my whisky in hand, I sat on the edge of the bed and run my fingers on the duvet.

“You kept…” I trailed off. Did I want to mention that?

He gave me a rueful smile and looked absentmindedly at the bed. “Aye, I kept all I could fit in this place.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I knew he prepared himself to talk, so I sipped my drink and waited in silence.

“When you left, Claire, I was lost. I stayed at home for a week, barely sleeping or eating, trying to understand what had just happened. Then Murtagh came, with his grump face – ye know Murtagh – and scolded me for more than an hour. But I couldn’t react to anything he said. I felt like I had no strength anymore, but even if I had, everything was meaningless, anyway.”

I walked to him and sat down on the floor, placing a hand on his thigh, desperately trying to comfort him but still not knowing my boundaries.

“Why, Claire?” He whispered painfully. “Why did you leave like this, why didn’t you return any of my calls?”

I lowered my head, trying to the best way to respond to his questions.

“Anyway,” he continued, “I moved here because Murtagh insisted that living in another place would help. He suggested going back to Lallybroch, but I couldna do that. With Jenny and the kids… I needed to be alone. When I finally agreed to move, he said he would transfer all our things to a warehouse. But I… I couldna do it. I couldna let you go. I couldna let us go.” His fingers trailed on my cheek and then they were gone, as I felt him standing up, trying to keep a distance. I let him go.

Jamie moved to the window and stood there, trying to calm himself down. I’d seen the heartbreak mingling with anger in his eyes before he turned to go away. The muscles of his shoulders were tense underneath with tee shirt and fast, deep breaths were shaking his body.

“Why did you leave?” He hissed, still not looking at me.

“I…” I trailed off. This was the hard part. I gulped audibly, trying to force back the tears and steady my breath. Jamie turned to face me, and I could see the words struggling behind sealed lips, wanting to fly free between us. He pressed his lips tighter, in an attempt to protect his thoughts and hopes. It would be harder for me to shatter them with my explanations if they were never said aloud.

My inability to find words made things worse. His fury took over, dominating all other feelings. When he talked again his voice was palpating with restrained anger.

“Do ye ken how many times I thought about that day, to make sense of it, only to end up more confused and sore? Do ye ken how it feels to return to an empty house when all ye were thinking during the drive home was two whisky eyes you get lost in, and a body completing yours, taking away all the day’s weariness? Do ye ken how it feels to replay in yer head every single detail for six months, trying to find any sign of what was amiss, if there was something different the night before when you still felt whole, or during the next morning’s breakfast? If that day’s goodbye kiss was different than the rest – screaming goodbye forever? And yet, to end up with nothing that can explain your emptiness. Do ye ken how it feels to be left alone with a note in your shaking hands, reading ‘It’s over - Don’t look for me’?”

“It wasn’t easy to leave, either.” It was just a whisper that left my lips, but I could see that he’d heard it, because his chest was heaving more with every passing minute.

“Then WHY DID YOU LEAVE, DAMN YOU?” He shouted, his fists shaking as he kept them close to his body with difficulty.

“I HAD TO!” I screamed. Seeing his pain made my pain raw, splinters sinking in the soft surface of my heart.

“You left me behind without any explanation! Do ye ken how it is to live as half a man? To have the ghost of your happiness following you everywhere, a constant reminder of your smashed dreams?”

“Do I know? Do I know?” I repeated, unable to think of anything else. “OF COURSE I DO! IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME, TOO.”

Jamie opened his mouth ready to reply, but pressed his lips instead and took a step back. Squaring his shoulders, he asked me in a cracked voice, “Why are ye back?”

Letting a breath out, I replied. “I needed to explain.”

“Then do.” He said, his voice cold and removed, insulating himself from what would follow.

“I left to protect you. You and me both.”

Chapter 8

#the ripple effect #modern AU #jamie x claire #angst #and fluff #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic

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ahntravels · 6 years

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Day два.

Day 2. Woke up and completely forgot I was in St. Petersburg for a moment. My bed at home is a queen, and the bed at this hotel is for a tiny person (in fact, I think my bed at ND was larger...) Anyway, I rolled over as per usual, and completely rolled off the bed.

I never would have thought, in my wildest dreams, I would one day wake up in Russia. Here’s to just pulling the trigger and making it happen.

Today, as mentioned yesterday, is Hermitage day. I didn’t know what exactly to expect, except all blogs mentioned to a) buy your ticket in advance (online) and b) get there early. The museum opens at 10, and I had planned on getting there at 10, except halfway through the 20 minute walk I realized I forgot my wallet and visa so I had to go walk back to the hotel and then walk back again, basically adding another 30 minutes to my trip. I arrived around 10:30.

I will say, walking up to the Winter Palace (Hermitage) was surreal. It’s HUGE.

Below is the arch you walk through which reveals the mammoth Palace

I’ve seen Buckingham Palace in London and Versailles in Paris. I will say that they are NOTHING compared to the Hermitage Museum in terms of shear size. It’s kind of crazy that those arches completely conceal the Palace until you start to walk through it. Then you see like...part of the Palace, but it’s not until you walk through the arch that there is this instantaneous reveal. Included in the reveal is the shock of just seeing the Palace in full + the huge size of it spanning your vision across the X-axis + all the blue sky and empty space that just silences you for a moment.

SIDE NOTE: For whatever stupid, immature reason, every time I think of the “reveal”, I think of that scene from Mario 64 when you’re running towards a photo of the Princess and it turns out to be Bowser. No, I’m not drunk, don’t ask me why I think of these things at the most random times. And yes, I did spend 15 minutes searching for this photo collage.

Anyway. I am sure the Winter Palace is GORGEOUS during winter. The acoustics of the space when it’s covered in snow must be like...next level. I’m sure St. Petersburg during the winter is amazing.

If you want a history lesson on the Hermitage, the Hermitage website has a great timeline. Again, as with the other blogs, I’m not going to be going into detail about images of the place or the history of the pieces exhibited. So many other blogs have done it so much better and I’m not going to butcher that. I’ll just mention a few things that stuck out to me, and you can Google around and figure it out.

I will say that if you do visit, I can offer a couple of tips you may want to follow.

1) The map. The map is confusing but not. You’ll just find yourself getting annoyed because, when you know where you are going, the gaggle of tourists and tourist groups will spin you around and suddenly you forget which way is which. Because the museum is HUGE (I saw maybe 1/8th of the museum in 4-5 hours?) you have to prioritize what to see. Keep in mind that, as time elapses, the museum becomes more and more inundated with the dreaded tourist groups, basically making your chances of getting a clear photo of anything nill.

2) Tourists (a.k.a. the “Boos”). See the map below. The Hermitage has 3 floors. Below is a floor plan of probably the most popular floor, thanks to Mr. da Vinci and many of the decorative palace rooms (amongst other exhibits):

The good thing is that the map kind of pulls out the most famous exhibits and shows you what room they are in. This makes your job of figuring out where you need to go to cross out those items from your bucket list easy. The bad part: The enemy (a.k.a. tourists groups a.k.a. “boos”) also know where these pieces are and are racing as well to find them. The good news: the boos are with tourist groups and have to wait until the tour guide guides them to the room with the exhibit. So, you have time to beat them to it and snag the photo if you are quick.

Just like in Mario, as time progresses and you aren’t being proactive, more and more of these guys are going to flood the Museum and follow you and clog up the exhibits. So, how do you win? I suggest getting to the museum first thing, then IMMEDIATELY source those famous exhibits, get your photos, then start at the beginning. Most of the tourists are going to be spending a large portion of their time taking photos of the great hall, which leaves you time to sneak past. Case in point:

The line to da Vinci. It was actually way worse a bit earlier when I came around again. I managed to get there early enough and snagged a decent photo:

In general, just like Versailles, the rooms are huge and ornate and absolutely beautiful. I was standing by a window, looking out into the courtyard from what was probably a ballroom in the palace, and thought to myself who else, years ago, was gazing forlornly (or with happiness, or deep in thought) out this same window.

I think that is the most magical part about these palace museums: people LIVED here. People also died here, were executed, fell in love, gave birth, went mad. And when you see relics of those like ridiculous looking Russian uniforms or weird trinkets from decades past, you have to remember that, no, these weren’t fashioned after film props, but film props fashioned after the real living thing. And the real living thing from 100+ years ago is right in front of you.

It’s pretty spectacular.

Oh, so this was exciting: The were having a temporary exhibit, and it was REMBRANDT!! Mike! I’m sure you have seen most of these because they sourced the pieces from the Leiden collection...maybe you have seen some of these at the Frick?

Anyway, there was NO PHOTOGRAPHY so I couldn’t really snag photos of pieces specifically.

I did find myself in a Jean-Baptiste while lost in the French wing:

I didn’t and couldn’t wander the halls for the full 4-5 hours straight. I took a couple of breaks, grabbing a coffee at the cafe for 15 minutes before trying again. I do suggest you break up your visit to the Hermitage into two days; it really is the only way to not feel like your brain is going to explode.

Afterwards, I took a walk outside by the water behind the Palace.

Gratuitous selfie. That’ll be two hundred rubles.

At this point, I had about 2.5 hours to kill before I needed to make my way to the Mariinsky Theater for the performance. So, I did what anyone should do, and that is wander around and picked up a snack to munch on (sorry, no photo of munchies).

There were people painting on the lawn, and I meant to come back and scope out the progress, but became distracted so I didn’t. I did manage to view a live performance (there are performers EVERYWHERE) and I’ll have to post in a separate blog entry because I still can’t figure out how to take the video from my phone and stick it here.

I stopped at a progressive burger joint (in terms of menu options) for my “snack” (I didn’t eat breakfast despite my large leftovers still sitting in the refrigerator) and ate one of these guys sans burger sauce:

It’s essentially a falafal burger with cucumbers and halved grape tomatoes inside. The bun was my least favorite part (larger in circumference than the patty, which drives me INSANE) so I ditched it angrily. The bun and the burger should be the same size, and the patty should be thicker than each half of the bun. If the top bun is thicker than the patty, the bun is trash. BESIDES THAT ISSUE, the patty was actually really flavorful, and the veggies were (surprise!) slightly pickled. I wasn’t a huge fan of the background of dill I tasted, but that’s fine. The lunch hit the spot and I felt alive again.

I know, call me a hypocrite for yelling about wasting food and here I am ditching a perfectly good bun. Well, arguably it wasn’t perfectly good, but I did take a bite and decided I much preferred the insides. Whatever. To quote Trump, “Who cares, we won!”

ASHLEY SIDE NOTE: It’s actually been great being overseas, because I have been shielded from all the US politics. However, I did catch a headline today and I mistakenly checked out Trump’s interview and wow...glad I am over here.

Eventually, I made my way to the theater via Uber (there is no Lyft here, and taxis are a little...shady. And slow. And expensive). I will have to comment on Russian driving (or, driving in Russia):

1) It’s nuts. Nuttier than cabbies and NYC driving. Nuttier than driving in France. Probably not nuttier than driving in Vietnam or other places where you are competing with scooters and cars, but it’s still pretty nutty.

2) However, I noticed that they do one thing correctly and without anger that we don’t do in America, and that is merging. In Russia, they utilize the “zipper merge” technique quite patiently and diligently, which, after taking 3 Ubers and cursing under my breath at the “assholes” who merged at the last minute, I realized that this was common and drivers didn’t sweat it.

“Those apparently rude drivers are putting more of the roadway to use and thus helping speed things along, in much the same way water flows faster through a funnel than through a straw.”

3) There is no bus lane or real lanes in general (I mean, there are lines painted in the road but people disregard them) and cars are just weaving in and out, trying to avoid buses, bikers, etc. And everyone drives stick, so it can get a little rough at times.

Anyway, I manged to get to the theater at the nick of time (traffic is TERRIBLE) and had decent balcony seating:

The Mariiinsky Theater isn’t huge, but the acoustics are really good. The ballet itself was really interesting. Interesting in the sense that this performance, in terms of skill, seemed to be this mix of gracefulness and like...cirque du soleil. I haven’t seen many ballets, but the ones I have seen did not showcase these magnificent bouts of exaggerated athleticism as performed by these dancers (i.e. 360 degree turns ad infinitum, Labron Jamesesque slam dunk vertical leaps, etc). Don’t get me wrong; these dancers are incredible and it was fun to watch them exhibit their unrelenting strength. However, I felt, where the narrative fell short, the shock and awe carried it through.

I have to be honest and say that I’m not the type to sit through a long, dry opera or ballet, so Le Corsaire broke through any of that fear and was much appreciated. Given we are in the world of #metoo, the plot didn’t really adhere to the moral standard (the narrative is much about the selling of women as slaves, that people of the Middle Eastern ethnicity is less than smart, etc). Yeah, not the best message. However, despite the immature and possibly offensive plot, the artistry was really good...the backgrounds and costumes were beautiful, and the music was moving. I really liked the duo in Act II...I believe it’s the Adagio, but I will have to go back through the soundtrack to figure it out.

Afterwards, I ate a really light and late dinner and came back to the hotel where I am writing this. It’s past midnight, and I am officially 63 years old!*

youtube

Tomorrow, I think i will visit the Faberge museum, then the Anna Akhamatova Museum, then a food market called the Kuznechny Market where I will try to buy some caviar, THEN bday dinner, then I need to hit the hay because I have a 6AM train out of Russia and into Estonia. I am really feeling sad that my stay in Russia is ending, but excited to see two more countries.

Until tomorrow!

*I told the waiter today was my birthday, and he said, “Congratulations”. What a curious response. I suppose living is a task, and becoming a year older is like a life promotion.

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pixelatedlenses · 6 years

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On Space and My Blackness

So this is one of a few things I wanted to talk about this month.

I don’t write this to frighten any Black and Brown ALTs, but to help you understand that the reality is is that our lack of whiteness is, once more, a negative in Japan at times, and that you will have to deal with that if you chose to be an ALT in Japan. The piece ends on a high note because ultimately, my life here is a series of very happy, precious memories.

Here’s a piece on space in Japan, and how it has affected me. This is a kindle of rambling post, but I hope it all makes sense.

I’ll be posting again soon about my new sense of fashion in Japan, which is a very happy post about wearing bright colors and making my brown skin pop.

Today’s is more serious, so thank you for your time and attention.

I am given a lot of space in Japan: a wider berth, perhaps, than most of my white and white passing friends.

There’s three reasons why, and here’s the order I feel them in from least to most:

I am given space because I am visibly Foreign.

It’s very obvious, upon looking at me, that what little European may be contained in me is non-visual.

(Fun Fact: my mother did a DNA test and we are 82 or 88% African descending from the Ivory Coast, which is what I called hella black.)

I am given space because I am at: it’s an aversion to me taking up space.

I notice this most in elevators in the morning, when I’m going from the platform to the West side of the central station, when I am going to the 4th floor Animate after work, when I am squeezing into any space.

I am aware that at 134kg -last time I checked about a nine months ago, and according to my doctor at said check- that I am 2.5 average Japanese women on an elevator in Japan. At a limit of 750kg, or 11 people, I am 17% of that space.

Perhaps, people consider that a threat: I take up space and compromise it. I consume it and make them have to accommodate me.

Yet I suck and squeeze and hold my breath, pray that I don’t expand to someone’s discomfort, that I don’t pop in the seconds to the top floor.

(Mind, this mindset is global, especially in America: I got body shamed quite a bit back at home, and actually felt worse than in Japan where I can step outside of the culture and just get blamed for having “a foreign body”. Thank god the world is changing.)

Finally, I am given space because I am Black and Different.

I get this on a spectrum: people won’t talk to me but to -and through- me at times. If they do talk, that is: sometimes, it’s silence, or whispers and pointing.

People ask about my hair, and the brazen reach to touch: I smack and push hands away, remind them that I’m Human. Students try and I educate: I teach them that if you wouldn’t do it to someone Japanese, you can’t do it to someone who’s Foreign. I’m not a toy: I’m Human.

(When you ask, then yes, you can touch what I offer and understand something different. Ask: just ask.)

I see myself on TV in greasepaint and shoe polish black and wonder who thinks I look that way, what “homage” they’re doing. Why I’m the punchline in a country with a history of blackface as long as my home.

I see and hear music from home, beats and rhythms that were made by Black Artists. Nostalgia blooms in a strange way: I didn’t like jazz and blues as much as I do now when I catch it now.

Braids and cornrows that I want that cost 50000en. B-Boys and Chic Girls accenting their bodies with products of Black creativity. I find appreciation, but only because I’m Black.

When you find out I’m not That Black, where does it go?

You don’t want to take my space now?

Because of this, it feels no one stands near me.

Now, you might think that this is a created perception, that I’m misunderstanding Japanese culture, that I’m forgetting that “Japan is a monocultural country” when it’s never been monocultural if you remember the colonized Ainu, Korean-Japanese and Ryukyuan persons who exist as part of an ongoing history. Not when there’s regular foreign visitors, regular foreign residents.

The world is a connected place. How long should I say, “Well, Japan’s only been open for so long...”

It’s been 165 years. How much longer can I excuse?

At best, it’s curiosity.

Eyes locking on me when I get on a bus after 18 months of the same bus ride. Shock when I can say a single Japanese word.

Sometimes, I wonder how long would I have to live in Fukushima before there’s no shock? When will people who have seen me for 18 months stop being amazed by my ability to Talk?

I am not a performance.

I am human.

At the middle, it’s ignorance.

Big Jumbo. Rasta Girl. [Insert Black Female Musician].

Jero.

Always Jero, the singular touchstone of Blackness in a country that eats Blackness at times, devours it in pop culture and jazz and music.

Students -always boys- joking. Me, pleading for the other teachers who should know, laughing at the joke, surprised when I can’t make light of my Black Nose, my Black Hair, my Black Existence.

At worst, it’s invasive.

The snap of a camera and not knowing where it came from. The desire to scream and take a phone, snap it in half. The sudden awareness of, “Oh.” Tuck my chin and make myself small. Think thin thoughts so that I fade away.

At the absolute worst, it was being spat at in public, trying to get home with groceries. Cookies n’ cream in the cart, next to the eggs and frozen green beans. Peddle hard, peddle fast: race home and tuck myself into my apartment.

ココジン. Black. Different.

It’s a matter of perception. Not from me, but of me.

I should say that none of this happens at my base school and only at two visit schools on few occasions and when I’ve told co-workers of the passive-aggressive treatment I receive at times, they’re appalled: “We know better.”

And Japanese people do.

But when will people do better?

私は人間です。

When I’m with my White Friends, their space is consumed in eagerness: they’re pressed in, and people talk to them. They don’t mediate: they congratulate, coo when my white friends do something in Japan. They’re still surprised, but it’s different: it’s marvel versus shock.

Amazement versus surprise at a performance.

It’s trying twice as hard to match the most mediocre white male. It’s having to memorize and remember all of my historical studies, have to break down walls so that my Brown and Black predecessors can have things a bit easier, enter into places without the world hiccuping and stopping to take them in.

It’s not that my white friends aren’t made uncomfortable: it’s just that it’s different, and not in a good way. It’s that Japanese people don’t hide the difference: it’s clear when you’re treating me differently because of my blackness, no matter how polite someone is.

It’s clear when you negate my space to be curious instead of welcoming.

“We have a problem with liking people who look European,” a Japanese friend once told me. “We prefer them in advertisements and CMs, bu we just don’t look like them at all. We’re not White.”

Just. Just.

On those worst days, It stings, a thousand needles pressed under my skin, wanting to break through. It makes me itch and feel like I’m actually wrong, even though I know I’m right. It bites and makes me conscious: Dark in Spring, Darker in Summer. Fade in Autumn and Winter to Still Brown.

It’s being reminded that around the world, Black is Other.

It is consumable.

It is Different.

But the thing is, I like myself.

I will not forsake my Blackness. I won’t forsake my Body. While no one at my workplace knows I’m Queer, I won’t forsake that either. I worked hard, once I was conscious of my blackness, to love it.

I wake up and touch my hands and smile, think thick thoughts and let myself consume space. I touch my Black cheeks, tangle my fingers in my Black hair, and continue to live and be happy.

Because in all of this, my happiness defeats the pain.

Most of my life in Japan is a quiet passing of arm-wide space, consumed only in elevator rides, in squeezing between spread legs on trains and gaggles of students. It’s being loved and having twenty new mothers and dozens of father figures who pass me snacks from vacations or business trips. It’s students who see Teacher and not Black Teacher, our ALT and not our Black ALT.

It’s being a part of a community 95% of the time. It’s belonging to someone’s life and giving and receiving. It’s laughing at a restaurant, breaking social taboos with giggling and too much chatter. It’s singing in the teacher’s room and making mistakes in two languages, and laughing some more.

As hard as it is on those 5% days, I’m proud to be Black.

And there’s nothing that Japan can do to change that.

#black history month #bhm 2k18 #black in Japan #blackness in Japan

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