#9 years ago today i posted my first thing on this blog

[the-dangerous-mute-lunatic]

9 Years of “the-dangerous-mute-lunatic”

9 years of a hyperfixation, given shape on the internet. 9 years of really great memories and even greater friends. I’ve made some of my fondest memories through Portal and this blog has been there for so much of my life that it really holds a soft spot. To new folks, old friends, and mutuals who have long since deactivated, thank you for the last 9 years here.

#9 years ago today i posted my first thing on this blog #chell #portal #portal 2 #the-dangerous-mute-lunatic #anniversary #new icon #seriously though yall #thank you #for everything all these years #my art

[dearheart42regenerated]

MOTORCITY SEASON 2 MASTERPOST

once upon a time, over 10 years ago, just a few months after the announcement that Motorcity was officially canceled...the creators of the show took pity on their heartbroken fandom and gave us several glimpses of what season 2 might have been like. they saw how much we loved Motorcity and gave us every scrap of info they could at the time, so that we could use those scraps to imagine our own personal "Season 2" - whether it continue on in our fics, our fanart, or simply our own heads.

I'm making this masterpost so that none of this material will be lost or forgotten, and so any fanartists/fic writers still hanging around today can use it for inspiration. if there's any related material I've missed, PLEASE feel free to add it in a reblog or let me know in my inbox! I want this list to be as complete as we can make it! :)

--

The Season 2 That Never Was: A Comprehensive List

Motorcity Season 2 Rough Intro "Scratch audio by our very own Chris P." (x)

-> backup download

--

Season 2 Writer's Wall posted (and later deleted) by @chrisprynoski on twitter, and shared on tumblr by @peopleofmotorcity, these pictures of the writer's wall showed us a "rough sketch" of what could have been, and gave our imaginations SO many fun theories and possibilities to play with. every blurry sticky note was a treasure to us. :')

-> original tumblr posts: x x x x x x x x x x x x -> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Chris Prynoski's Fan Interview + Tumblr Q&A's this whole interview on youtube is a delight to listen to, and Part 2 in particular has some interesting bits about season 2. (skip to 17:10 for some good stuff about Texas and Chuck's backgrounds!)

-> Part 1 -> Part 2

Chris P also answered several juicy season 2 questions on tumblr. sadly his blog is deactivated now, but you can still read through all of them at the links below!

-> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Capri Chilton - Mike Chilton's long lost big sister! I can't remember where or when it was first revealed that they were considering giving Mike a secret older sister, and I haven't been able to track down the origin. that being said, when it was revealed, the fandom loved the idea so much that they begged the creators to make it canon. Chris P busted out the "magical canon stick", gave us this delightful concept sketch, and "Capri Chilton" was born!

--

The Motorcity Series Bible "To help you all understand what it is you are reading, this is the material that Titmouse used to help pitch Motorcity, and it was also a tool for writers to use when coming up with episodes to help understand who the characters were before there was any other reference. That being said, this was one of the very first documents about Motorcity, so many things have changed or evolved from these early concepts." (x)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 -> image backups -> PDF download

EDIT: the COMPLETE series bible has now been leaked by Lost Media Busters on X (Twitter) and helpfully shared by @waksworldrebooted!!

--> here is a google drive download for the full PDF file!

--

Motorcity Series Bible - Redacted Version (Pages 1, 2, 17, 19, 20) funfact: @peopleofmotorcity was the official? unofficial? tumblr blog for Motorcity, and it was run by a guy named Mac - an animator for the show who loved to tease and joke around with the fandom. before revealing the actual first 13 pages of the series bible, he posted this censored version as a prank - a mix of truth and trolling! it's up to the fandom to decide which is which. ;)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 17 19 20 -> image backups -> PDF download

--

MTV Era Motorcity Masterpost a fantastic collection of glimpses into the original pilot/pitch trailer that would evolve into the show we know and love today, found and compiled by @waksworldrebooted. "In 2000, Chris Prynoski pitched a cartoon called Motorcity. He made a card and a website promoting the show, which wouldn't see the light of day until the Walt Disney Company got their hands on it."

--> tumblr masterpost (including wayback links to the old website) --> twitter sources from Chris P himself :)

--

Motorcity Unaired Pilot - 2009 Disney Version Originally aired during Comic Con 2012, the pilot was recorded and then posted on YouTube by Allison Simmons in July of 2012, later being privatized in 2022. The video was re uploaded onto VKVideo 22 days after its original posting to YouTube and is still currently available to watch online. (x)

--> backup download --> also viewable here!

--

if I find more material, I will add it here! :)

#motorcity #motorcity season 2 #mike chilton #capri chilton #julie kane #chris prynoski #peopleofmotorcity #Youtube

[front-facing-pokemon]

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

#gti spoilers #under the cut. don't look if you haven't played it it's an amazing game #not pkmn #nose ratings #about to queue up gogoat and pancham so be ready for those in a while

[choicesficwriterscreations]

October 2023 WOTM: peonierose

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @peonierose. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: peonierose Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Peonie or PR is fine 🥰

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

Way back when Choices first launched. My first book was The Freshman Series - book 1. It was so fun to play the books and get super excited for new chapters. I was waiting until midnight for new chapters. It was the first time I’ve played an app where I could make decisions and use diamonds for VIP scenes 😍

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices fandom back in 2021. I really missed Open Heart after book 3 ended (and left me wanting more) So I wanted to see if there were any more stories I could binge, and that’s how I stumbled upon Tumblr 🥰

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It may sound weird but it just came to me. Peonies are my favorite flowers. As soon as I thought peonie I quickly added rose and I was like that sounds so cool and it’s unique which I love 😍 And that’s how peonierose was born. 

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

Gosh. This feels like forever ago. When I first came on tumblr I didn’t post or reblog much 😅 (too shy to interact with anyone 🙈)

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

It has been 2 years in August this year since I’ve actively started writing fanfic 🥰 (I still can’t believe I actually made the leap and decided to post any of my stories). 

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

You’re really going to make me choose? There are so many good ones 😱

I love to write for two of my favorite books which are Nightbound and Open Heart. Those are the ones I feel most connected to 🥰 Though I’d love to venture out and make edits or social media posts for other choices books too. 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

I wrote Robin‘s Tell-All from TNA, and it was the first fic I’ve ever shared. I really wanted to write a story from Robin‘s POV and how all that happened in TNA affected him and all the mistakes he made. 

I wanted to showcase his inner struggle. 

I remember how nervous I was to post something that I’d written. I thought to myself, will people even like my story? And if they do like it, then what? It was a great rush to see the reblogs, and the love for my first-ever posted fic. 

If I could change one thing, it would probably be the moodboard 😅

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

That is a tough question, because to me every fic I‘ve written has a special place in my heart. So every story reflects the feelings I’ve felt while writing my story. 

Buuuuut if I had to choose: It would be a tie between By a Landslide (Bryce and Luna), the 3rd chapter of my Nightbound series - Unexpected and Go with the Flow (Luna & Bryce) 

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I actually didn’t think I’m a sucker for you, A Pinch of Pink and Blue…This one‘s for you,  Cinnamon Sugar and Wildflower, to be as well received as they did. 

However, I think Bittersweet Symphony and Losing Game (1 / 4) could use some more love. 

Both stories are amazing and I think you’ll love both my pairings. Luna & Bryce and of course Maxine and Adam. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

I am by no means a smut writer 😅 Maybe I’ll get there 😅 But I’d go with a mix between angst and fluff. I think a nice balance between these two would be good. 

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Yeah. Tons of times. Take Luna for example. She has anxiety like me, and her appearance, such as her blue-green eyes and dark blonde hair, are like mine. But character wise we’re complete opposites. I wish I’d be more artistic like her 🩷

And Bryce is an Aries like me, and so many things he says or does make me go back, and I’m like, yeah, I would say something like that. Other than that, I’ve learned to give my characters real flaws and make them human, if that makes sense. But it does happen that they end up with character traits that are mine, and then I lean back and realize I’ve given my characters some of my weird and quirky character traits 🤣

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Damn. Umm…I struggle with a lot of things. Finding the right words sometimes because English isn’t my first, not even my second language. I speak six languages, so it's sometimes hard to find the words to describe things. 

Showing, not telling that’s another thing I struggle with. 

That and if I have to keep a deadline to post something 🤣 Because it takes me forever to post anything I’m not 100% behind and happy with. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

How much time you’ve got? I have over 30 wips, that want some desperate attention, and I always keep adding new wips, whenever something inspires me to write 😅 

I’ve found some new inspo for Somewhere Only We Know 🥰 Apart from that I’d love to take another look at my two AU‘s Amber & my Nightbound series. So we’ll see what wips I can manage to finish 😅 

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

Sure. I’d love to get an outside opinion of my work and my characters that are so beloved and close to my heart 🩷

I actually tell people that I write fanfic and original work. And I’ve sent some samples their way and they liked it. Which makes me feel more confident in my writing (not saying it’s perfect, there’s always room for improvement, but it’s getting better). 

As for which story to start? I’d say start with Only Love for Bryce and Luna. That was my first story of them and I consider it their start. 

Then continue with Always & Forever and Go with the Flow. 

Those were my first posted stories about Luna & Bryce and I think you’ll like them. It would give you a good understanding of my storytelling and my characters. 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

There are a couple of authors I admire - Chloe Neil, Elise Kova, Nalini Singh, Rachel Caine (R.I.), Rebecca Yarros, and many more. They have influenced and shaped my writing, my fantasy world-building, and, of course building my characters. These authors know how to tell great stories, which makes me admire them so much. 

As for fanfic writers who’ve inspired me? I’d love to give a special shoutout to one of my closest friends who’s been my beta reader for almost anything @annieruok She’s an amazing person and writer. Thanks so much for all the times listening to my ramblings about scenes and characters 🩷 

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

My Nightbound series hands down. That is a story that really deserves to be on the big screen or as a Netflix show. I’m not picky. 

I’d love to see Grey, Gretel and Hänsel kick some ass. It’s a unique enough story to garner some attention 🥰 I’ve worked really hard to write it and it took me a year to come up with chapters, character names and so forth. 

Also Somewhere Only We Know would be cool to see on the big screen. I’d probably weep from joy if any of my stories were ever developed as a movie or series 🥰🥹

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yes, I actually do. I have several original works in my Google docs. And just recently, I had an idea for another original story (I don’t feel comfortable sharing it yet) 🥰 But let’s just say it’s fun to come up with the characters and world-building and everything in between. 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Reading books, trying out new recipes in the kitchen. This also reminds me I need to exercise more 🤣 

Taking walks & going shopping. 

Hanging out with friends and binge watching shows and movies on Disney+ and Netflix. Just trying to  enjoy every single moment that every day has to offer 🩷 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

It’s a toss between these three 🥰😍🩷 (What can I say I love pink 🩷 not just because of the new Barbie movie and the pinkmania 🩷) 

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

First, I wanted to say thank you to everyone. For being picked as writer of the month is a huge honor 🥰 Thank you to everyone who has ever taken the time to read my stories, reblog them, and leave some unbelievably nice words. 

I’m very grateful that you guys took the time to shower me with love. Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve some of your nice words and love. I also wanted to give a special shoutout to some of the people who are very dear to me. 🩷 

Thank you guys for supporting me. Being there for me - through great and not so great times - I‘ll never be able repay your kindness 🩷 You guys make me strive to be a better version of myself and I couldn’t be more happy to call you my friends 🩷

@annieru0k @cariantha @txem @doriopenheart @mysticalgalaxy @aallotarenunelma @inlocusmads @heavenssexiestangel @socalwriterbee @secretaryunpaid @ofmischiefandmedicine @starrystarrytrouble @the-pale-goddess @takemyopenheart @quixoticdreamer16 @princess-geek @eleanorbloom

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #writer of the month #peonierose #october 2023 #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic

[precuredaily]

Precure Daily's Sixth Anniversary

On April 10, 2018, I posted the first review in the project that became Precure Daily. It wasn't actually on tumblr at that time, but on Facebook. The plan was to watch an episode every day and just post some thoughts, but it evolved into reviews and screenshots and that necessitated a whole blog, and here we are. That was six years ago today!

Six years. It's hard to believe. I honestly, truly didn't think I'd still be doing this. Whether I petered out before the end, or managed to get it all done in the 2-3 years I anticipated, I figured I'd have stopped by now. But somehow I haven't given up yet! I'm still watching, still writing, and still getting new fans to share with, and that makes it all worth it.

The past year was slow, I will readily acknowledge it. I only got about 7 reviews out in that time, including the one that just went up earlier today, but one of those was the Go Go movie. That was a whole undertaking, it took me nine months to get out. Granted, for about 6 of those 9 months it was just sitting there unchanged. I'd open it occasionally to poke at it but then not end up getting much done. Maybe it still wasn't the best it could have been but I'm proud of it nonetheless. It was a good review for a good movie. Also, I got to review the very first All Stars, even if it was a short film. Having recently wached the most recent All Stars brings that experience full circle and it's real nice.

One small hiccup is that, at the time of writing, I haven't yet gotten out the traditional Honoka birthday post. I just haven't had time to sit down and gather artwork for it. Hopefully that'll come out in the next day or two!

Outside of the blog, let's look at the wider world of the Precure series over the last year

I said last year that I hadn't finished Delicious Party, and that's still true. When it was on air, I was watching it with a friend and she was really into it; we are going to resume watching together to finally push through it.

HIrogaru Sky's second half was good, it lacked a little bit of the driving power of the first half and the villain plot never properly came together in my opionion. I still love the characters, I think they're my favorite cast in a good while.

I did not watch Otona Precure. Although I've watched Go Go before, I want to finish this current watchthrough for the blog before I jump into it. Maybe I'll even review it as I go, that remains to be seen. I've heard mixed things about it and I'm not very big on the idea that the girls just go back to teenagers when they transform, but I'll reserve judgment.

Wonderful Precure did not appeal to me when information started coming out, and I fell off it for a few weeks when the first couple eps didn't impress me, but I decided to keep going and it's thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think it's going to crack my top 10 but it should be a solid middle of the road series.

I watched the Delicious Party Precure movie and Precure All Stars F with friends in fairly close proximity, and wow do those movies exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. DeliPa's film was one of the weakest Precure movies I've seen, while All Star F was phenomenal. I need to rewatch it.

I did say last year that the blog would look different when I finish Go Go. That is still true. I should be able to wrap that up in a few months, then comes the next phase of things. Deets when it happens.

And also just because I can, here's some recommendations for shows outside of Precure you should watch that came out in the last year-ish:

Oshi no Ko

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a monotone elf)

SPY x FAMILY (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a psychic toddler)

Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger

The Last of Us

And I think that's it for this year's update! Here's to another year of watching and writing about Precure! Thanks as always to my loyal friends and fans for making this project a success: @sailorzombiestar, @vertixscribe, PaintedOutlaw, @hanasaki-tsubomi, yugimon135 (can't tag you for some reason), and my newest fan @nono-bunny.

Here's all my previous sappy anniversary posts if you want to go back and read them.

First Anniversary

Second Aniversary

Third Anniversary

Fourth Anniversary

Fifth Anniversary

#PCD anniversary #PCD sixth anniversary #read this

[thefrogdalorian]

Four years ago today I watched The Mandalorian for the very first time!

It's a date that I will always remember because it was the first day of the national lockdown here in the UK. Luckily, it also coincided with the launch of Disney+.

I was already a Star Wars fan, so I wanted to watch the show when it premiered but it didn't launch here at the same time. But I vividly remember waking up one cold, dark morning in November and being confronted with Baby Yoda everywhere I scrolled. He definitely made me smile and made that particular commute a lot more bearable!

I was desperate to watch it but honestly, I was too busy drowning in work during my final year of University to sail the high seas. So, I waited.

And I'm so glad I did.

I truly feel like this show and the character of Din Djarin came to me at a time in my life when I needed him most. 2020 was a terrible time for me, as I'm sure it was for plenty of you, too. So being able to watch a new Mando episode watch every week was a rare bright spot in all of the darkness.

I remember leaning forward in my seat when Din repelled the Ravinak with the Amban rifle, the tension was real! But I was truly hooked when he grabbed the Mythrol and froze him in carbonite.

Who is this guy? Is he good? Is he bad?

Honestly, I still feel like I don't know for certain and I love that about the character.

It's hard to believe it's such a short amount of time while it also feels so long ago. I think that's true for most of us but I truly feel like I have lived several lifetimes since 2020. Some good, most bad.

Throughout it all, though, I've always had The Mandalorian to watch when I needed a bit of comfort and escapism from the real world. I don't think I can put into words how much joy watching it brings me, but I know you all feel it too.

I'm truly so delighted that I created this blog and carved out a little corner of the internet for me to ramble about all things Mandalorian with some fellow freaks [affectionate]. It's definitely going to help me get through the wait until the movie in 2026... it actually hurts to think that I saw SIXTEEN EPISODES in 9 months in 2020 but anyway...

Wanted to thank anyone who has ever interacted with me or said a kind word about anything I've posted in the few months I've been here. I really appreciate it! I'm so glad we all found The Mandalorian and Din in our own ways and it brought us all here together.

If anyone would like to share their own stories of how they first watched the show, I would love to hear them!

Anyway, Happy Fourth Mandoversary to myself and, as always:

save me din djarin.... din djarin save me..... save me din djarin......

#din djarin #the mandalorian #text post #spud rants #miss him so much it's SICK AND TWISTED HOW AM I MEANT TO LIVE WITHOUT THIS SHOW #come home din the kids miss you #also oneshot coming later tonight its angsty and soft and cannot wait to share it bc i'M SO PROUD IF IT AAAAH #the tin can inspires me with writing in a way no character ever has previously #he is the ultimate blorbo

[streatfeild]

i‘ve been tagged by @thethickofitt 100 years ago to do a thing (making my own post pc the original one was getting too long lol)

Last Song: Ryuusei by Mucc

Favourite colour: all of them, preferably at the same time. if i have to choose one i‘ll say (neon) pink.

Currently watching: Naruto (ugh yeah i know), started another Santa Clarita Diet rewatch today bc i miss that show. badly

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: mmmmm savoury

Relationship status: single

Current Obsession: Izumo/Kotetsu (i KNOW), Adam/Fergus, that procreate brush set i bought that i can‘t get enough of

——————

he also tagged me in a shuffle playlist meme that i‘ll put here as well. just because

Rules: you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put your mp3 player, iTunes, Spotify, etc. on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people. Rules: No Skipping!

1. Epilogue from Les Mis in Concert

2. Horrible Theme from Dr. Horrible‘s Sing along Blog

3. shi shite katamari by Mucc

4. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd from Sweeney Todd

5. Live and never die by The Rasmus

6. It‘s not unusual by Tom Jones

7. Ragnarok V: End of the line by The Mechanisms

8. All God‘s People by Queen

9. Angels by Robbie Williams

10. Art Hoe by Call me Karizma

Tagging @witchkingofanmar @captains-clever-goose @ktsphere @spineless-lobster @keldermans @jammydormouse @captainsclevergirl @james-wilsons-mommymilkers @darkmistandodddreams @summerpoison and anyone who wants to do either of them 💚

#shut up kit #tag meme #i‘m surprised neither asaf avidan nor grandson nor chris de burgh nor dir en grey made the list. huh #also i haven‘t listened to the mechanisms in AGES i need to change that

[deepdwellingsteamboat]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

This is my second super-unexpected-tag-game this week, is that considered a good or bad omen on this site? Anyway, thanks @andromedaholic, I'm extremely bored today and this is fun!

3 ships: the main ones are Bucky Barnes/Helmut Zemo (MCU), Corvo Attano/The Outsider (Dishonored), and James "Biggles" Bigglesworth/Erich von Stalhein (Biggles Series). I like many others, but that would be too long a list.

First ship: I'm pretty sure it was, and I have no idea if anyone knows these people even exist, William Lubber/Arabella Drummond from the book Pirateology: A Pirate Hunter's Companion by Dugald Steer. Just two people hunting each other with murderous intent... My tastes haven't changed much, by the way.

Last song: My Church by Aviators. I'm very normal about Aviators.

Last film: Clive Gordon's Cargo (2006). Don't watch it. I only did it for Daniel Brühl and to make gifsets for my friends :3

Currently reading: nothing, but I'm thinking about reading The Terror. The last book I read was The Alienist by Caleb Carr.

Currently craving: more than four hours of restful sleep.

Fav color: black.

Relationship status: single.

Last thing googled: plexiglass. Saw the word in a post and wanted to know what it was. It's called differently in my native language.

Current obsessions: Daniel Brühl (especially his role in The Alienist) and Dishonored (this obsession started many years ago, and it has never gone away, in fact it may never leave me at all).

Tagging (no pressure whatsoever): @six-demon-bag, @hiddenxplaces-blog, @takuventures, @ithilien-wolf, @winterbonesthings, @evilwinterfruit, @milarca, @cass-without-the-andra, @karnaca78

#tag game #oh look another thing i'll have to come up with a nicer tag for #i'm doomed

[frombirkhallwithlove]

#BREAKING: Earlier this week, I "pranked" @camillasgirl and sent her a "media request", asking for an interview to mark her 10th anniversary as a royal blogger and it turns out I'm better than the Royal Rota because: I got my interview 🤭

Meanwhile, I've outed myself and, luckily, we're not getting divorced 😂 Instead, darling will be answering some of the most lovely and thoughtful questions some of my followers on Instagram sent in an exclusive (!) live later today (we're not sure about the time yet but we'll definitely save and share the link here it for you to catch up whenever you can!).

Here are the questions my darling will be answering in our Insta live later today:

1. What made you start your blog in the first place? Was there a certain event? And why did you choose Tumblr as a platform (and not e.g. Twitter, Facebook, ...)?

 

2. "Camilla's Girl" is such a sweet and unique name, a brand really - where did it come from? 

3. What was blogging like 10 years ago compared to what it is like now? What has changed for the better and what used to be better in the early years? 

4. What was your personal highlight in all of those years? Any particular tour or engagement that particularly touched you (and why?) 

5. What initiative of Camilla’s is your favourite?

6. What has most surprised you about this 10 year journey you have been on? 

7. Is there anything you would change about the way Camilla and her team go about stuff? 

8. Has there ever been something you did not post? What was it and why? 

9. Why do you think our darling Queen has only worn the Delhi Durbar Tiara once?

10. Did meeting her in person inspire you to new ideas for your amazing blog?

11. What are you most excited about in the Camillaverse for the next 10 days / months / years? 

12. Which is the first memory of Camilla you have and when did you start growing interest for her? And what was the moment that lead you to decide to open a page about her? 

13. What are you enjoying most about blogging about Camilla?

14. How do you handle online hate? Has it gotten better or worse in the past 10 years? 

15. If you could invite Her Majesty for dinner, what would you cook?

16. What is the most important thing that you have learnt from Her Majesty all these years? 

17. How could you be so dedicated to your blog for 10 years? Apart from HM what inspired you?

18. What would be any other person/ topic you would blog so passionately about?

19. What is your favorite quality you’ve observed of Her Majesty during your time covering her?

20. How do you handle online hate?

21. As the perception of Camilla has changed a lot during these last years, do you feel the approach with other people has changed too? Do you think it's simpler now or harder to interact with others?

22. What is the main message you would like to tell to the world by your blog?

[oozmium]

Hidden Relics and The Man Who Hid (Them) - Translation

This is a translation of Hallelujah's side story found in the SMTIVA artbook. There used to be a translation floating around for this a couple years ago, although it appears to have been taken down. So I've asked a good friend of mine to translate the story and I looked over it for lore accuracy.

A direct link to the translation hosted on their blog can be found here. But if you'd like to read it on tumblr, click the read more. Please enjoy your read!

One more thing: PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS TRANSLATION ANYWHERE ELSE. Instead, link back to either this tumblr post or my friend's blog if you wish to share it.

Hidden Relics and the Man who Hid Them

Original Writer: Mito Yoko

Translator: VerdantGrove

ENG Proofer: Elegy

note: translation notes can be found at the bottom.

— 

A single notebook rests in the man’s hand. That aged notebook is just one of the relics the man found in his former residence…it’s the memoir of a certain woman. The man places his fingers atop the warped cover just as he always does, and sets foot into the world of the memoir…

— 

Feb 12

Hallelujah found a pen and a notebook. He said it was a present for Mama. I used this when I was study-ing¹ with Angel. How long ago was that again? Hallelujah’s four now, so… No, no. I don’t wanna think about it.

Angel complimented my handwriting. He said “it’s not very well done, but repetition is key.”

Writing a diary so he compliments me again.

Feb 13

Three visitors. Ashura Kai came to collect the money, and give us food rashions². A little more than usual, thanks to the work I did. Mama will work hard for Hallelujah.

Feb 14

Zero visitors. Big fire in Shibuya. Scary. 

Humans are scarier than demons. Angel…

Feb 15

Four visitors. Tired.

Feb 16

Visito

May 2

Forgot about the diary. Writing every day is hard.

Jun 13

Ashura Kai came to collect the money. Guy in charge is annoying.

Luckily visitors were nice today.

Jun 15

We got canned food from the guests³. Hallelujah was super happy. But… I didn’t know what to say when he asked me “what’s a backblue⁴?”. If Angel were here, he would have told him. Have to study.

Jun 20th⁵

Hallelujah keeps yelling about wanting to go outside. Even though it’s dangerous up there. Even though I’m doing my best to live down here for him.

Jul 4th

Hallelujah and I talked about Papa. “Samyaza”... I get shy just saying his name. I’ll keep what really happened a secret for now.

He asked me, “why isn’t he with us?”

Why, I wonder?

Jul 15th

Ashura Kai came to collect the money.

Seems grades are good. Oh dear.

August⁶ 15th

The Ashura Kai⁷ came to collect the money. I ranted to a friendly guest, and their response was “poor thing.” They said I was such a poor thing, having to work and take care of a child at the same time.

Am I really a poor thing?

August 16th

Was all guests I hated today. But have to stay strong. For Hallelujah.

Sep 9⁸

Wrong. Something, wrong. Head spinning. Get mad when I look at Hallelujah. How can he laugh when I’m suffering this much? 

But all this suffering is for his sake.

He looks just like me and I hate it. Hate everything.

September 15th

Collected the money.

I’m mad. Can’t even look at Hallelujah.

September 2

September 21st

I hit Hallelujah yesterday.

He kept asking questions about my work, and I said “you know it’s all your fault” and hit him.

I even blurted out “it’s your fault Angel went away too.”

I’m awful.

September 30th

Hallelujah threw up.

While I was cleaning it up, he cried “sorry, sorry.” I said “you’re a lot more serious than you were when you were a baby,” and it made me laugh. 

I felt like that was the first time I’d laughed in a long time.

Then Hallelujah laughed too.

He laughed for me, even though I’d done something so horrible.

For some reason, it made me want to cry.

October 1st

I’m thinking as I watch Hallelujah sleep.

Hallelujah’s name was given to him by Angel.

It means “gratitude.”

I was really happy, so I tried my best to remember how to write it, even though it’s hard to spell⁹.

How the hell did I forget that? I’m such an idiot.

October 3rd

I hit Hallelujah and managed to say “sorry.”

He forgave me with an “it’s all righty.”

He patted me with his tiny little hands.

Sorry. Love you.

October 15th

That guest again. Always telling me I’m a “poor thing,” so annoying.

October 21st

I still have a lot of mixed feelings about Hallelujah.

But I’m not angry at him. Luckily.

Nov 15¹⁰

What am I gonna do? Hallelujah hit the man who collects the money. I got hit, then Hallelujah, he turned into something not human, got scary strong, then that guy, he wouldn’t move. Ashura Kai—no, oh my God, this isn’t what you should write in a diary.

But I want to calm down.

Hallelujah can’t stop shaking even though I’m hugging him tight.

Hallelujah was just helping me. He didn’t do anything wrong. That’s it, Hallelujah didn’t do anything wrong.

Hallelujah did not do anything wrong.

Hallelujah cried himself to sleep. Thank God.

It was hard, but I made up my mind.

We’re going to leave the Underground. I thought I wouldn’t survive if I wasn’t here. But that’s wrong.

I have everything Angel has taught me. It’ll be okay.

Leaving before the stores open is a matter of life or death.

I’ll keep Hallelujah safe.

—

“They sure do change easily, these ‘humans.’”

The man's cold and emotionless words reflect his hardened features as he emerges from the glow of the streetlights. And yet, for some reason he couldn’t place, when his eyes catch sight of these words of determination written in smudged letters, his hand stops. The man had never once thought about why that was.

Just as his hand stopped, he checked his smartphone for new notifications, but… The name which he hoped to see was still not there. Ignoring the many voices seeking out his direction, the man turns his attention to the rest of the memoir.

This memoir tells the tale of a mother and child desperately searching for a way to survive. Silently, the man continues to read…

—

May 19th

Our life on the surface has been going smoothly, thanks to us handing out Reds. I’m less worried about the demons. Hallelujah will be 10 soon. Seems like he’s made a friend called Chiro. I wonder what kind of kid they are?

June 12th

We got canned food as payment for the Reds!

Hallelujah was on the edge of his seat before we even opened it. He looks happy eating the fruit. I’m glad.

June 13th

Hallelujah fell asleep hugging the empty can.

It made him that happy?

June 15th

Studying with Hallelujah. I want to tell him everything Angel taught me.

June 28th

Hallelujah made me mad. It was because he took out that empty can when we were collecting relics. Is that thing his prized possession…?

June 29th

Making up with Hallelujah. I promised I wouldn’t put my hands on him without thinking anymore. Sorry, Hallelujah.

July 10th

I know what Hallelujah’s friend is now. It was a shock.

July 12th

I ran into that guest from our time underground. I wished they’d shut up about wanting me to come back to the city or wanting to look after me. Not to mention they told me how sorry they are for me again. I’m mad.

July 18th

Hallelujah has gotten good at looking for relics.

I told him “you’d be fine doing this on your own at this point” to praise him, but that made him extremely grumpy. Why??

July 20th

That guy’s here again. Ugh.

Even though Hallelujah’s forgotten what happened that day.

July 22nd

Hallelujah doesn’t seem to like studying. He said it was because he was gonna play with his friend, then ran off. Where’d this come from?

If only Angel were here at a time like this…

August 22nd

Had a conversation with a grumpy Hallelujah.

Studying is essential for proper judgment.

It’s essential in order to decide for yourself what’s important to you. Just like how I decided to believe Angel. …I wonder if I got through to him?

September 2nd

I found out why Hallelujah was acting so strange.

That man told him things. Things like “it’s my fault you got driven above ground” and “they want to get rid of me.” What the hell? Sure enough, humans are the worst. Way, way worse than demons!!

I want to explain. But what should I say?

September 5th

That guy has been loitering around us again.

Hallelujah is still feeling down too… Worried.

September 30th

I was debating whether or not to do this, but I’m going to tell Hallelujah.

That Angel really is an angel.

That he’s not human.

And… about what happened that day.

Tomorrow I will tell him. Angel, give me courage.

October 1st

The conversation went awful. “You’ve been giving me special treatment ‘cause I’m not human,” and “I can tell my dad was more important to you.” …I had thought it’d go like that.

October 3rd

Hallelujah’s in his room with Chiro, and he won’t come out.

If I was Angel, what would I do? …Maybe It’s because I’m always like this that it seemed like his dad was more important to me.

I have. To think.

October 4th

I’m rereading through this diary and thinking. I’ve written everything here, whether it’s the things that made me happy or the things that caused me pain. It’s really true that I hated that child. It’s really true that I loved him, too.

All of it. It’s all true.

October 5th

Received a summons from that man. I’m scared, so I’m bringing that weapon I snatched back then. I wonder; can I use it?

I want to talk with Hallelujah when I get home.

I’ve finally settled on what I want to say.

I like Hallelujah.

I love Hallelujah, because he’s Hallelujah!

I didn’t ask for us to make someone I could cherish other than myself just so I could abandon him.

When I had a chance encounter with Angel and was blessed with Hallelujah, I was really, truly happy.

I just wanted to do a good job of getting this happiness across to him, too.

…Can I even get that across to him? I’m an idiot, so I doubt I can.

But I’ll tell him as many times as it takes. Angel told me that repetition is key, after all.

Well, I should head out soon. …I know you probably wouldn’t give me a reply to this, so I’ll write it here.

See you later, Hallelujah.

—

The memoir ends there, and the aged notebook does not speak further. But the man knew. He knew of both the woman’s abrupt and miserable end and of the whereabouts of the child who lost his mother’s protection…

“Mr. Abe, it’s an emergency!!”

The man who was called—Abe, furrowing his brow, would go to respond to the insolent trespasser.

“Understood. The ‘final battle,’ yeah?”

Yes, at last, the curtain has risen on the battle between God’s Chariot and the Demon King. As Acting Chairman, it is his duty to finish this play, and yet…

“...Not a word from him.”

There were still no notifications from the person he longed to see—from Hallelujah.

That made one thing apparent—estrangement.

“Guess ya found yer angel… Eh, Ayako?”

Abe—the fallen angel who was once called an ‘angel’—imagined a future in which he would stand opposite his own son…and laughed.

<Fin>

TL Notes:

Studying is written in katakana here. It shows unfamiliarity with the written word.

Half of the word is written in katakana here, and the other half in kanji. I chose to portray this as a misspelling, as someone new to writing would be just as likely to misspell the word “rations” in English as they would be not to know the first kanji of the word haikyuu (rations) in Japanese.

Mama writes the word okyaku (visitors/guests) in kanji for the first time here. I marked this with a switch from “visitors” (neutral connotation) to “guests” (more respectful connotation of welcomeness).

Hallelujah seems to have flipped the kanji in the word “blueback (fish)”（青魚 lit. blue fish）to 魚青 (lit. fish blue); I had him flip the word “blueback” to “backblue” in the same manner. He likely read it left to right instead of right to left.

Before this date, the days were written in hiragana. This marks the switch to the use of kanji for each day. I decided to portray this by typing the numbers in proper date format (e.g. 20th instead of 20).

Before this date, the months were written in hiragana. This marks the switch to the use of kanji for each month. I decided to portray this by typing the months spelled out instead of abbreviated.

Rather than writing the “Ashura” in “Ashura Kai” entirely in hiragana as she had been doing previously, Mama writes the first kanji in “Ashura” here for the first time. I decided to portray this by using the article “the” to make it a more complete sentence, thus similarly showing a progression of education.

Mama returns to writing the date entirely in hiragana here in her distress.

Referring to it being difficult to write the kanji for gratitude (感謝). I paralleled this to spelling the word.

Same as TL note 8.

#smt iv apocalypse #smtiva #smtivf #smt4a #hallelujah smt #translations #theres like 5 bajillion ways to tag this game im cryin idk which one to use so im using all of them #anyway if you have any questions feel free to leave them in my ask box

[kimmiessimmies]

Just a ramble about aesthetics and things

Like most of us, I also saw that aesthetics question going round and since reading it and the responses to it, I've been thinking about it more than I should, which in turn got me thinking about other things Simblr and community related and I decided to share my two cents about it as well.

The question stated in the poll was "How important do you think 'aesthetic quality' is in the simblr community?" and the answers varied immensely. Doing a quick Tumblr/Simblr scroll, the answer would have to be 'very important', because most images showing up are very gorgeous: beautiful colours, great compositions, perfect lighting. However, when I check the tab that shows which posts I have liked, the pattern changes: it's the storytellers who get most of my Tumblr hearts. And then it doesn't matter whether it's part of an elaborate story that's been going on for years with several plot twists, or just a family having breakfast. I like both equally, because both tell a story. Sure, I like a nice Sim picture as much as the next person, but for me, it will always be about the story it tells much more than the aesthetics of it.

The same is true for my own posts: I just want to tell my stories, share my Sims, my town. Yes, I sometimes post picture posts of lots I've built. At first glance, you could say that's about aesthetics more than storytelling. But it's not. Because of the way I play, everything is connected: the story is Honeycomb Valley and everything from the lots to the Sims to the seemingly random things that happen to them are all part of it. Sure, I love creating beautiful lots, but that's mostly because I like realism in my game. I like to see my sims in places that look true to life. And because this is a self-created world, it can look like the best version of that life. 😉

In taking pictures, I try to get the best angle and before posting I run my pictures through Picmonkey to do a bit of basic editing, which is mostly just an auto adjust of brightness and shadows. Literally two clicks and I'm done. I hadn't even heard of Reshade and all those other -shades until a month or two ago. 😄

I read another reply saying how everyone who has a Simblr does so for the notes, because if you're not in it for the notes, why have a Simblr in the first place? This made me laugh. I get the point, but if I was in it for the notes, I might as well leave today. I averaged around 20 notes per post during my glory days and only around 9 since returning after my hiatus. I can think of many reasons why this is:

My posts can seem very incoherent: I can be posting about James Wyler one day and about Luke Bennett the next. These two have never even crossed paths and their stories have no apparent connection whatsoever. I can imagine how this makes my stories and my Sims hard to follow for most.

I don’t post my full stories on here. Reading them requires a visit to my WordPress blog. I understand how most people just want to do a quick scroll, read, like, and move on.

I am and will forever be TS3 player. And we're simply a smaller crowd in the Simblr universe currently.

I was gone for five years.

Now, I could change all of this (except for that last one) and possibly get more followers and more notes. But I don't want to. Yes, of course, I love getting a notification saying someone liked my post. I appreciate the support and the love and it makes me very happy to see there are people out there who like the stories I write, the lots I build and feel connected to my Sims to some degree. So in that sense, I get why someone would say we're all in it for the notes. But I don't care about the quantity. I love those 9 just as much as I love the 195 I once received on my much-reblogged post of The Greenery.

So, I'm not changing a thing. I'm keeping my WordPress blog as my main Sims home because that's where everything connects. Where it does make sense that I'm posting about James on day 1 and about Luke on day 2. Where the story is Honeycomb Valley. Where you can click from a story to a Sim profile and vice versa. And my Simblr will remain a place to just post bits and pieces (and rambles like this) and to stay connected to the ones who are interested in me, my stories and my Sims. I love my 9 notes and I love the 3 people who click on to visit my WordPress blog and read my full stories a little bit extra. 😉❤️

One last thing I would like to add to this already much too-long rant is how much I miss the old Sim community. The days of the forums and the tight-knit online group us Sims veterans were. Discovering and becoming a part of the Sim community back then has meant a lot to me. I miss that. I realise I sound like a grandmother now, reminiscing about the good old days, so maybe it's time to end this post. 😄

Anyway, that's my ramble of thoughts on aesthetics, Simblrs and community. Thanks for reading. 😊

#kimmiessimmies #the sims 3 #ts3 #rambles #textpost #about that aesthetics thing

[ro-is-struggling]

✨600 Followers Celebration✨

Welcome to the ro-is-struggling 600 Follower Celebration!!!

an event that I'm definitely not planning since I hit the 200 followers mark, nope of course not

Below the cut you will find a list of prompts that are divided into two parts. The first part consists of concepts based on scenes from sitcoms and some romcoms. The second part contains song lyrics that I have to use as reference for writing the stories. You guys will have one week, so from today January 5 until January 12 (though the deadline can be extended) to choose from the long list of prompts which ones you would like me to write and with which characters. All you have to do is leave me a ask with your request plus some details I explain below. 

As prompts are requested I will mark them as taken on the list and at the end of the week the requests will be closed and I will start working on the ones that I got up until that point. The prompt list is extensive and –I think– pretty diverse so that everyone will find something that catches their attention. Anything goes! Fluff, angst, smut, hurt/comfort, anything you guys like! (although I'd appreciate it if you read the blog rules first).

Below the cut you will also find the rules of the event. I ask you to read them carefully before making any request so we are all on the same page and avoid any confusion. If you have any questions, my private messages and ask box are always open so don't hesitate to ask!

Thank you all so much for the support you have given me and continue to give me in everything I post. When I created this blog almost a year ago I never imagined that anything I posted would get so much support –and part of me still can't believe it. I never imagined doing a Follower Celebration, certainly not for 600 followers! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, your constant love and support is what fuels my inspiration and keeps this blog going even in my worst moments!💜💜💜💜

The characters I write for are:

MCU: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker (all three of them), Matt Murdock, Peter/Pietro Maximoff, Stephen Strange

Harry Potter: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter

Stranger Things: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Billy Hargrove

The 100: Bellamy Blake

The Umbrella Academy: Diego Hargreeves

Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid

9-1-1: Evan Buckley

Rules:

- Prompts cannot be repeated. If a scenario is already taken by a character, it cannot be used with another character. I will update the post to mark the prompts that are already taken so everyone can see it before leaving a request.

- If the same prompt is requested for multiple characters I will choose which character to use it with depending on who requested it first or which character inspires me the most to write it.

- Prompts cannot be combined, neither between them nor between those based on movies/TV shows and those based on songs.

- Characters CAN be repeated. You can ask me for as many stories with the same character as there are prompts (always taking into account that the scenarios are not repeated).

- The stories can be of any genre you want. Obviously as there are prompts based on scenes from movies/TV shows I already have in mind a specific tone according to where they come from, but that doesn't mean that it can't be changed. You can ask for something specific if you wish. If you want it to be angst with no happy ending then that's what I'll write. If you want it to be fluffy or end in smut then that's what it will be. You can add your ideas as well!

- Please be clear when leaving a request. Specify the fandom, full name of the character you want me to write about, and if you have a specific idea, please detail it. Also clarify (if you have an idea) who you want to be Character A and Character B in the story. I need to be able to distinguish between characters that have the same name but are from different fandoms (example: Steve Rogers and Steve Harrington. If it just says Steve I don't know which one you mean). In case I don't understand which fandom/character you specifically want then I will choose or discard the request entirely. 

- Prompts can be adjusted depending on the character being requested. I think this goes without saying but in most of the movies/tv shows where I got the prompts from the characters are adults so if the prompt says the action takes place at work but someone wants that prompt with idk the marauders for example then it would be changed to the school setting, you know what I mean?

Prompts:

Part 1: Concepts inspired by movies & tv shows

During a blackout Character A finds a cat wandering around the building and sets out to find its owner. That's how they meet Character B, who takes their breath away the moment their eyes fall on their figure (if someone doesn't ask for this one with Bucky to include Alpine I'm going to cry) {Friends 1x7}

Enemies to lovers in which Character A and Character B have a bet in which if Character B loses they have to go on a date with Character A. But it's not a normal date, but an event prepared to be remembered as the worst experience of their life. Only in the middle of the date they realize they can have fun together {Brooklyn 99 1x13}

Team A and Team B play a trivia game to see which group knows more about the other but they end up betting too much {Friends 4x12}

Character A and Character B realize they are the only ones who didn't have sex in the office (or anywhere else depending on the fandom) and seek to change that {The Office 7x18}

Character A and Character B have been dating for a while now. One day at the end of a date Character A says I love you for the first time and Character B, in complete shock, panics and ends up replying "I love cake" {That 70s show 2x7}

Character A asks Character B for help to get the attention of their crush since B has a lot of experience in the subject and A not so much. The problem is that in the middle of their arrangement they begin to develop feelings for each other and the plan for Character A to get a date with their crush is forgotten as they use their arrangement as an excuse to be together {The Duff}

Character A and Character B are secretly in love but times and fate were never on their side. Now that Character B is dating someone Character A does everything they can to move on. That is until one day ends up snapping and after getting drunk on a failed date they end up leaving a message to Character B where they confess how they feel {Friends 2x7}

Character A and Character B are in a secret relationship and make the mistake of kissing in a place where there are security cameras. When they realize it, they struggle to avoid being discovered while wondering if anyone already knows {Brooklyn 99 3x1}

Character A leaves a dirty message for Character B as part of a prank/dare, the problem is that Character B becomes obsessed with finding out who the mysterious person on the other end of the line is. When they finally find out, they can't look at Character A the same way again {Seinfeld 3x8}

Character A is in love with Character B, who is their best friend's partner. Character A suffers in silence when they see them together, flirting with Character B from time to time without realizing it, until one day A gets tired and confesses what they feel and they end up kissing ( + the dialogue prompt "Do you think I like flirting with my best friend's significant other?") {That 70s show 1x13}

Character A is nervous about going on their first date after being single for a long time so they turn to their friend for help. In a confusing turn of events Character A ends up drunk at the house of Character B, their date, the day before the event. The next morning Character A wakes up hungover and thinking their chances with Character B are ruined, but in the end Character B shows up at their house to drop off something they forgot the night before and assures them that they are looking forward to their date that night {Parks and Rec 2x4}

Character A and Character B are friends who fell in love and are now trying their luck as a couple. They have just begun to explore their relationship and experience intimacy, but begin to have problems when Character A bursts out laughing every time something remotely sexual is about to happen between them. That leads them to question their relationship and wonder if they did the right thing by becoming a couple {Friends 2x15}

Character A and Character B are in love but don't want to admit it because they are dating other people. Things are not going well and Character A plans to break up with their partner. The problem is that Character B doesn't know it and invites them to an event where everyone will be there. Then Character A ends up snapping and breaking up the relationship in front of everyone. In the middle of it all, their partner mentions the obvious feelings between Character A and Character B, creating problems in the latter's relationship even though both try to deny it {Brooklyn 99 2x9}

Character A and Character B have feelings for each other but can't bring themselves to admit it. That is until they have to pretend to be a couple (for a mission, a family party, whatever) and end up kissing on more than one occasion. Their feelings for each other become evident and they end up confessing their feelings - but not before acting like a couple of nervous, awkward idiots {Brooklyn 99 2x23}

Character A and Character B have been friends for years and have a little too much chemistry and romantic tension. After being teased about it by the rest of their friends, Character A decides to kiss Character B to "find out how it felt" {That 70 show 1x1}

A mysterious pair of black handcuffs is found which leads to a search for their owner, who ends up being the most innocent and least suspected person {Friends 10x16}

Character A is going through a breakup so as any sane person in their place would do they ask Character B, their best friend, to give them neck hickeys to make their ex jealous. Things escalate between them and for the first time in a long time Character A forgets about their ex {Parks and Rec 2x10}

Part 2: Song lyrics

“Last night I lay in bed so blue // 'Cause I realized the truth, they can't love me like you” (Love Me Like You by Little Mix)

“Why you always wanna act like lovers // But you never wanna be each other's?” (Light Switch by Charlie Puth)

“Just because it won't come easily // Doesn't mean we shouldn't try” (Easily by Bruno Major)

“Fed up of being the shoulder you cry on I want to be the shoulder you lie on” (If I Get My Way by Little Mix)

“I happen to know that what I felt you felt, too // But that makes no difference to me // I know this love is doomed” (You, Dear by Eloise) 

“Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart // All I really care is you wake up in my arms” (One Last Time by Ariana Grande)

“If I get my way, I'mma take care of you // I can take her place, let me get my way // If you let me try, just one night, I can prove // I can take her place, let me get my way” (If I Get My Way by Little Mix)

“You crave attention and I need affection so let's walk the silver line” (Dear Lover by Little Mix)

“I'm not in love // So don't forget it // It's just a silly phase I'm going through” (I’m Not in Love by 10cc)

“It's not your fault I ruin everything // And it's not your fault I can't be what you need” (Angels Like You by Miley Cyrus)

“if I don't make it back from where I've gone just know I loved you all along" (Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil)

“It's four a.m. and I know that you're with him // I wonder if he knows that I touched your skin” (Happily by One Direction)

“The road that was broken brought us together” (The Joker And The Queen by Ed Sheeran)

#follower celebration #600 followers celebration #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #matt murdock x reader #peter maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #stephen strange x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #billy hargrove x reader #bellamy blake x reader #diego hargreaves x reader #spencer reid x reader #evan buckley x reader

[oliviassunrise]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged my @elialys. Thank you, lovely!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

As of now, I have posted 77,959 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Fringe and TLOU

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Of Artists and Architects—TLOU (my baby!)

The Alphabet (Peter & Olivia’s Version)—Fringe

Peter & Etta’s Excellent Adventure—Fringe

To the Moon & To Saturn—Fringe

Cracks in Your Mask—TLOU

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course, I do! I’m usually slow because I feel like I say the same thing over and over and I get busy. But yes, I read and eventually respond to each one.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would be Fading, because it’s just Tess dying.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think Etta’s Sunrise, but my Polivia anthology has so much fluff!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Years ago when I was fresh out of high school and writing my first fics, yes. I had a Castle fic get posted and mocked on a fic flaming blog. It…wasn’t fun. But the fic was genuinely horrible. Nowadays, no. I’ve not had a single negative said to me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ohhhhh yes I do! It’s pretty vanilla in comparison to some of the other stuff out there, at least for my Tessjoel stuff (Polivia are proudly vanilla) and I tend to lean on euphemisms instead of actual words. (I, a married adult, am unfortunately a child when it comes to actually writing sex words.) Overall, I try to keep it very realistic and tasteful.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not interested even a little bit. I might consider it if I wrote fic for something like Marvel or DC, or if I wrote for fandoms that naturally matched up.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Lmaoooo no. I’m not that good.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I wish! I would be honored if someone who was a native speaker of another language wanted to translate my work.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah. Honestly, I don’t work well with others. I’d have to be super close to the other writer and know I’m on the same page.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

From a romance perspective, Polivia. They are on that soulmate shit and I can comfortably write my super fluffy stuff. There are so many moments we missed to fill in, but also some devastating things to explore. From a fun perspective…Tessjoel. The possibilities with them are endless because there is so much open to the canon and they’re also so adaptable for AUs.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’m really wondering if I’m gonna finish my Polivia alphabet fic. I’ve been stuck on K for months! But also Of Artists and Architects is a huge undertaking, and I’m just wondering if I’m gonna get discouraged enough to quit again.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think—hope—my characters feel very human. I also know I’m good at capturing the mundane and every day.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description and action. I don’t weave vivid worlds like some writers can, and I am terrified of super action-packed intense scenes. I just don’t know I could do it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I did, I would be consulting a native speaker of that language. One, to understand their culture better (because it stands to reason the character would be of that origin) but also to make sure I have my words correct.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Castle, way back in the day!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Declining to answer this one on grounds of a case of imposter syndrome today.

Tagging: @tessaservopoulos @seethesunny @bumblepony @ameerawrites @hypnotisedfireflies and whoever else wants to share!

#txt #about kayli

[probablydinosaurs]

this was originally a twitter thread but mehhhh. the audience of one-two here get my insane venting instead. its 3am. I've had a rough day and I just want to list it out from worst to least worst. sorry if this is venting. again 3am. 1: my sister showed up completely unannounced, and waltzed in a fight with my other sister and her husband at their place. she had good reason to be here (she's homeless and is a fuckin ice age here. that's not a problem. we are glad she went to us for help.)-sadly she's an entitled fuck who begged my dad for cigs when we have NOTHING BUT A ROOF to give. its SCARY how poor we are. She was also VERY TRANSPHOBIC, which was not on my sister's bingo card this year. mainly about trans woman and their "complaining". my already shit sister saying terf shit was not smth i thought id hear. i was very upset about that. i haven't talked to her bc ik if i do, il cry but I've been giving her the silent treatment unless it's akward. 2: i have covid. had symptoms since like the 13th (i joked that i got it for my birthday) and its been a nightmare. i can't sleep. Eating sucks. my nose hurts. i think i blew a blood vessel in my eye. its just been the worst. 3: due to being unable to sleep, im wildly manic at 3am. i have nothing to do and no one to talk to. and im unreasonably upset that people on tiktok think Spongebob is a kid. like boi your face screams "post movie" pleaaasseee educate yourself on cartoon history. he is an adult! 4: after ALLL of this like 7 mins ago, the fire alarm randomly beeped a few times. luckily not a lot but still. stressed me the FUCK OUT. nothing is on. i think bc its the FUCKIN ICE AGE OUTSIDE, the apartment is a TAD too warm (witch its not. my feet are frozen)

5: found out today that scientists didn't start using real menstrual blood on pads/tampons till AUGUST OF LAST YEAR??? WTF WERE U USING BEFORE? That's why pads are always off SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW there's an issue. and tampons never fit right. they have been fuckin guessin for decades 6: my new cat is a needy hoe. I'm used to it but with covid and barely being able to walk/exist, her sweving between my legs is a nightmare. I always have to throw a bottle cap down the hallway just so she doesn't get in my room. 7: been on upsetting media tiktok. why the fuck is there a fandom forming around a vent cartoon about S/A???? like I won't say its bad but that's not a FANDOM THING! yall are fucked up (also it parodies the peewee's playhouse op and that bugs me. i love peewee.)

interlude: my needy hoe of a cat is named peewee (well to my mom, it's now Princess Pipsqueak but thats not a good name to say in frustration as I'm trying to exist down the hallway. also, we thought she was a boi at first and she has a face that looks like paul Reubens's. I still see it. 8: I have used up all the TP and tissues in the house and have been using paper towels to blow my nose, which is roughing up my already red sore nose. I put gold bond on my nose and it BURNED but now it feels smoother. 9: i feel like i annoy people with my Hannibal hyperfixation. i have yet to truly let it spread here but it's EVERYWHERE ELSE. (and il probs reblog this onto my hannibal blog so hiiiii) and yet it feels like no one cares. ik it's a bit niche, upsetting not everyones thing but Ive NEVER loved smth more and it hurts when i don't talk about it I just. want to get someone into it. someone else got me into it and it means a lot. I hope they are doing ok. I'm grateful they gave me my favorite hyperfixation ever. I've littrally never loved anything more. and I've been into a LOT of stuff. i was called annoying by an ex friend because i got into things too much. and to them, "too much" was anything that wasn't "i like this thing. i think this thing is good and cool. lets rp weird incest about it." (i hate my teen years) but like. that ex friend would HAAAAATE by hyperfixatiing now. i have friends to ENABLE ME NOW. 10: just added this one. kinda put two and two together that corp vtubers birthdays most likely aren't their real birthdays. everyone is celebrating a graduated corps bday and yet they moved to another company and like. no birthday in sight. and it feels weird to latch onto their old persona's bday when they are right there with probs a new (and more real maybe) birthday. you can actually go celebrate with them whenever their "new" birthday is and yet you are clinging to the past. especially since they are THRIVING where they are rn and were not happy as a bigger corp.

thats a bout it. thanks if u saw this and read. its ok if you didnt. i just had a LOT go on lately.

[frecklystars]

Hey look I'm just a little confused but um. you say you're triggered by starscream and the color pink but you commissioned something of yourself and Starscream with a whole lot of pink?

I'm sorry, I'm just confused yere ;-; I really do wish you the best but I just find it. Strange? And confusing?

Oh it's all good, no need to apologize!! I can get why it's confusing. I already explained this very briefly in another post but I can explain it again in much more detail this time.

tl;dr: I have a lot of grounding techniques from years of therapy, overall I am not trying to avoid my triggers right now, I am trying to sit with the emotions they give me, I am feeling every feeling, no matter how ugly or gut-wrenching or raw, and I am letting these feelings pass through me and make me stronger for surviving them. I learned from experience a long time ago that avoiding your feelings makes the healing go backwards. but I am only able to embrace the feelings now because it's been MONTHS since these triggers started, I have made a lot of progress since January when things were at their worst. I would not have been able to look at TF content or the color pink way back in January, no way. but right now? in May? today where I have made a bit of money and ate a rly good donut, and haven't been triggered at all for maybe two days? yeah I'm feeling pretty stable and I can look at the color pink no problem.

In my pinned post, I said I ordered a few commissions from artists MONTHS ago, there are about 5 of them lined up that haven't been completed yet. I thought that ordering them might help me feel a little better about Transformers (they weren't feeling like triggers yet), it was during a time when I was starting to feel like something was going wrong, like around the winter time, I started to feel them slipping away from me. I knew I was flinching around them and it was concerning me, I knew it could become a problem if I didn't do something about it. (The something I needed to do was cut my abuser out of my life, but unfortunately I didn't do that quick enough, I kept giving her too many chances.) Transformers wasn't making me stress vomit yet, I wasn't breaking into hives yet, all of that was happening because my abuser was stressing me out *so much*, and then and only then Transformers was starting to get associated with her, slowly and gradually. These triggers did not happen overnight and it was not all at once. I've been dealing with this for almost 9 months now. It took about 3 or 4-ish months of enduring the abuse before I started to flinch, then have panic attacks, then be so overwhelmed after seeing something that I would have to just lie on the floor and cry and shake like a chihuahua for like ten full minutes. (Very happy to say I don't have panic attacks so severe that I collapse onto the floor every day, now it's only once or twice a week and only if I see a MAJOR trigger. Most of my panic attacks don't send me to the hospital anymore either. Progress!)

If you read further into my pinned post where I talk about how I bought some commissions, I expressed "I am tempted to message [the 5 artists who haven't started the commissions yet] just to tell them to keep the money and forget the commission. I am so desperate to feel love again, maybe one of these commissions will re-ignite that love from Starscream. Or I’ll continue to feel numb. I don’t know. I feel so awful. I don’t even really buy commissions, I normally just draw my own self ships, but I can’t bring myself to draw anything."

The commission you saw recently reblogged, THAT one I actually bought the day that I returned to my blog; all of you sent me so much love and support, I felt like I was fully capable of healing. I felt so good for like a full day, I didn't have any panic attacks, I only shook a little bit when seeing a few things, but it was my first day in several months where I could really function like a whole entire person!! That is HUGE for me!!! I've spent over 8 months thinking I'm incapable of healing, and for a full 15-ish hours, I felt almost like my old self again, because of all the love you guys sent me. So, during that high, I used a small portion of the money I made bartending last month to pay for the commission. And then I saw my ex-friend reblogged onto my dashboard the next day, and that gave me a full blown panic attack, stress vomiting and all, and it took me about four hours to fully calm down from it. Since then, I've felt kind of numb to the characters again, I'm back to feeling super depressed, believing they'd manipulate me just like my ex did. However, despite these negative feelings, I still managed to feel okay when seeing my commission completed yesterday! I am fully in control of what I commission. I requested Starscream, I requested myself to be drawn in my favorite pink shirt. I was fully in control of my own commission request, I didn't feel like I was in danger. I knew what to expect and it was my choice.

Now, I will tell you why I actively chose Starscream and pink. It's been 5 full months since pink (and crop tops, boots, etc also listed in my pinned) became a trigger, and I can tell you it's definitely not as strong of a trigger as it was back in January. January was when I was severely betrayed, when I was the most hurt, when I told myself there was no way in hell that I could ever feel comfortable or safe around my ex-friend ever again. My emotions were raw, heightened, all of my anxiety and stress was so overwhelming, and then I suddenly developed a bunch of triggers. I would not have commissioned a pink Starscream drawing five months ago. I would not have requested my S/I to be wearing a pink shirt. But I'm healing! I am learning how to rewire my brain into recognizing these things as things that are safe, things that I used to love so much. Also, I haven't seen my ex-friend commission that person before, so I felt like it was "Safe" to commission this person, because I have not associated their art style with my ex-friend, if that makes sense. I would not have been able to commission a few other artists that I know my ex-friend commissions monthly.

And TFP Starscream himself, he's never going to be blacklisted, I'm never going to actively try to avoid him if I can help it! I love him so dearly, even if I am currently in a position where I fear he wouldn't love me back. Even if looking at him might make me really sad sometimes. Back in January when he became a trigger for the first time, yes then of course he was a MAJOR trigger at the time! I couldn't watch any of my favorite episodes with him, I couldn't make it past three minutes because I was hurting so much. All of these triggers started up about 5 or 6 months ago, and they all felt so monumental to me! But half of them don't make me feel like I'm gonna be sent to the hospital due to a chest-crushing panic attack anymore, at least not as often as before. It's still bad, but not really fucking bad, if that makes sense. There's only about 4 or 5 characters that I know for a fact I cannot look at, and I've had those characters blacklisted and filtered so I won't risk running across them. Starscream is definitely not blacklisted. He has always been too special to me. I know my love from him is still deep within me, I know I can feel safe around him again if I can keep working hard on healing. Most days, I don't really feel scared of him anymore, I just feel so sad. Which is better than being scared, I think that's still progress even if it hurts.

My bedroom is pink. My phone case is a pink print of Bee and Puppycat. My autograph from Steve Blum is on my desk, where he says Starscream loves his little starflower. Hailee Steinfeld wears crop tops and shorts and boots and there's a polaroid of her wearing these things also sitting on my very pink desk. I have the potential to get a panic attack if I am not careful, but I know my body and my brain. When I wake up, I am either immediately hit with overwhelming dread and anxiety, adrenaline rushing through me as if I'm in danger... this is what we'd call a "Really Fucking Bad Day"... or, I might wake up and I might be a bit on edge, a bit tense, but I'm a lot more stable. This is what I call a "Somewhat Okay Day."

On my Somewhat Okay Days, I can wake up in my pink room and not even register that my walls are pink, that my desk is pink, that my posters have pinkie pie on them. I can go online and I can scroll my dashboard and I'm not gonna have a panic attack if I see a Transformers character. I might flinch if it's a character that my ex-friend spent a lot of time making me feel scared of. But with someone like Starscream, any iteration... I might feel sad, I might cry a little because I miss him, but honestly I don't feel any strong fear when I look at him anymore, it's not like I'm at risk of going to the hospital. If that were the case, I would not be online at all! I did feel so scared of him just months ago, I did, every day for a long time starting in January, but I'm definitely not as bad as I was. That's why I took so long to come back online, I wanted to wait until I was confident that I'd be able to curate my online experience properly. I waited until I cut my abuser out of my life, which I did one month ago, now I am safer than I have felt in over 8 months. If I genuinely, genuinely could not handle ANY Transformers whatsoever, I would not have come back to tumblr, where I'd see TF content posted by the 1000+ TF blogs that I follow. I would still be jumping between hospitals, I would still be an inconsolable mess.

But on my Really Fucking Bad Days, when I wake up and I feel how raw and hurt and scared I am, shaking with my chest tight and my brain preparing me for "danger", I have to tell myself "ooh. I'm not good today. I need to be very gentle with myself today." Those are the days that I meditate, do breathing exercises more than normal. Those are the days where I don't go online at all, I just let my queue keep rolling out the posts. Those are the days when I might need to walk out of my room and look at the beige living room walls instead of the pink. Or, hey, ptsd is fucking weird, sometimes pink won't be the main trigger that day, but it will be crop tops. Maybe it will be Earthspark that day. Most of the time it's multiple triggers, but it doesn't have to necessarily be Every Single Thing That Has Ever Triggered Me all at once. These triggers and their severity fluctuate depending on the day, whether I've been triggered before days ago, whether I'm sleeping enough or eating enough, whether I'm overworked or not... it's always different.

Today, I'm doing okay with pink, I am sitting in my pink room and I'm not shaking. I might need to walk out of my room and go outside for a little while to change my environment, because I don't know how long I'm able to look at pink before I might start to feel uncomfortable. Could be an hour, could be 12 hours, who knows!! But I don't want to sit in my room at my computer all day anyways lol. Tomorrow, I might not be fine, tomorrow I might be a mess. I never know! I just have to take it one day at a time, it really sucks basically playing Spin The Wheel the second I wake up and my brain landing on some random Thing that is associated with my abuser and deciding whether or not I'd be able to handle it.

My brain is processing what happened to me, my brain is always ready to kick itself into Survival Mode. My brain is trying to process what happened. It's trying to make sense of something that can't be explained: why was I hurt so badly, why did I feel so unsafe around someone who kept insisting she cared about me, how the hell did she find my city and my store's phone number, why did this happen at all? All of these questions can't be explained and my brain is just trying to help me survive. I did the best that I could at the time, I was with this person for whatever reasons was the best of my awareness when I was hurting, I was desperate for a friend and I hadn't seen her true colors until they were shown to me, and by the time I knew I was in an unhealthy friendship, I was far too weak to try to get out of it. PTSD is basically like "Okay, you were hurt REAL BAD! And you've endured trauma before from other people! So here's what I'll do for you, I'll make sure you remember all the warning signs of This Traumatic Event! That way you can't run into this event anymore! Red cloaks, boots, crop tops, shorts, green eyes, the color pink!! TFA!! Predacons and dragons and mice!! Remember these objects because it means that if you see them, she's gonna hurt you again!! Don't forget she commissions literally everyone, so why don't we just add EVERY TF CHARACTER to this ever-growing list!!" and I'm like, thank you brain for protecting me, but also what the fuck that is So Many Things. And like, yeah, it does sound ridiculous, and a lot of people make fun of PTSD triggers because they're like "what you get anxious when you see This Thing? that's so stupid!" and man, we don't like it either. but we can't control it. This is just what happened and now I need to work on healing going forward.

On my Somewhat Okay Days, I don't avoid my triggers. I don't actively search for them either, I don't try to force myself to look at them or anything, but I need to train my brain to look at these things and realize that I'm still safe. I'm not in a situation where she's abusing me anymore, she can't contact me ANYWHERE, I'm pretty sure that anyone who could possibly try to send me messages on her behalf is blocked, because I've blocked anyone who is close with her too, at least the people I'm aware of. And I've gotten over 100 messages to my inbox and my dms, and everyone has been super kind and supportive so far. She can't hurt me anymore. I'm trying to tell my brain that it doesn't need to give me warning signs anymore. I'm rewiring my brain to remember how incredibly loved and comforted I felt with the very same characters that she ruined.

This is also why I said in a separate post, and I may have to edit this into my pinned since I get asked this so often now: none of you have to trigger tag anything for me! None of you need to treat me any different, you don't have to step on eggshells or be scared of mentioning transformers. None of you need to worry about having certain colors in your icons or character names in your URLs. I am in a position where I am able to ground myself if I see a minor trigger. I am mostly in control of what I see on my dashboard, if I see something I cannot handle at all, I'll unfollow someone or block the post. I've only blacklisted a few major triggers that I know will take me time to heal from, like, REAL bad triggers that have sent me to the hospital more than once. Those I will avoid for sure. But everything else? I'm working on it, I'm healing from it, I think a year from now I won't even be having 80% of these triggers at all.

If I tell myself "okay I am NEVER AGAIN looking at ANY of these things!!" then I'm gonna just make my PTSD so much worse. I know what I can and can't handle on certain days. I can't train my mind to believe that these things are genuinely dangerous. Of course, it took me months to get to this point where I'm able to decide "okay here is what I can and cannot look at". When the PTSD was starting up, uh yeah I definitely needed to avoid these things 24/7 no matter what. But right now I'm in a much better position to be making decisions based on if I'm having a Really Fucking Bad Day or a Somewhat Okay Day. And someday soon I hope I begin to have Genuinely Good Days!!

I love Starscream. That is never going to change. I've never stopped loving Starscream. I've been hurt, I've been numb, I've been conditioned to believe he will betray me -- but I know, I know his love for me is still deep inside of me somewhere. I want to feel it again, I will do anything to get that back. My therapist has told me that my anxiety and fear and my anger from the betrayals is crowding my brain, it can't make room for the things that bring me joy yet. I have to work on healing first. I will never blacklist Starscream. Even if I am sad when I see him, sometimes I cry if I see him on my dashboard because I miss him so much, I know I'll get him back one day. I have to! I've never felt such a strong connection with any F/O before. I know Starscream is my soulmate (in self shipping terms lmao I know he's fictional, before any non-self shippers who have just followed me start to question my sanity), I know we were made for each other, and some piece of shit on the internet who tried to find out where I live and where I work, someone who repeatedly threatened to do drastic things unless if I answered to her demands for attention, is not going to take him away from me. Same with Bee, with Megatron, with Soundwave, with all of the other bots I love. I am willing to put in the work to get better. It's not going to be easy, but I know I have so many people who have my back now. I don't feel as alone anymore as I did months ago when I was so isolated.

Now that I have permanently distanced myself from my abuser, I can properly work on healing. These triggers have been so bad because I was stuck in this abusive situation for so long, when I was already in such a vulnerable state of mind. Cutting myself off from the source of these triggers was a very big step to take, and I wasn't strong enough to take that step until a month ago. These triggers are definitely not as horrible as they were when they first started back in January. Like I said, I still have my bad days where they are horrible, just unbearable. But today, right now? I'm in my pink room, I have a polaroid picture of Hailee Steinfeld wearing a crop top and shorts, I have my autographed print of Starscream sitting on my desk, and I can handle it. If I get even the least bit shaky, I'll use my tools I've learned in therapy for so many years, I'll do my grounding techniques. Right now, I can look at my Starscream commission with a pink background on it, and think to myself, hey, that's such a cute drawing and Starscream looks very handsome in it. One day, I hope I can believe again that he does love me so unconditionally.

I hope this made sense, sorry it's so long! Truthfully I don't even really 100% know how to answer your question, because I have also wondered to myself "uh how come I'm okay on some days but not okay on other days?" tbh brains are weird and I'm not an expert on how shit works, this is the best I can do.

#asks #anonymous

[lilolilyr]

I got tagged by @banashee thanks a bunch! Feel free to do any of my recent tagging memes if you like:D

Question Tag Game Thingy

Current book I’m reading:

Fifth Formers at St Clare‘s, I found all the St Clare’s (zu Deutsch: Hanni & Nanni) that exist in the original English online here for free, I used to be obsessed with the German translations (and additions - there are way way more of those in German than the 9 English ones) as a kid and the nostalgia overtook me when I remembered the books because of this tagging meme and I completely singlefocusedly binge read through them in the last couple days

Last song I listened to:

Joel by okdanketschüss

Currently watching:

not anything really? I’m stuck at the beginnings of S2 of Good Omens and The Witcher since forever and I haven’t continued DS9 either, I just haven’t watched any TV really…

last thing I watched was a Bernadette Banner YouTube video a couple days ago

No wait! Warehouse rewatch on discord! I missed last week but I’ll join in today :D

Current fic I’m reading:

Not any??? I mean I’ve got tabs open but I really read St Clare’s and only St Clare’s in the last days! Maybe the one I’m on now counts as fanfic tho bc it’s not by Enid Blyton (the original author)? xD

I do still want to continue reading @purlturtle’s And Now You as well as all the fic recs @lavendelhummel sent me, and I’ve got a bunch of other tabs open besides, but I’m probably gonna finish St Clare’s first! Well, I might read the last two tomorrow so there’s that :D

Next on my watchlist:

I’ve never seen While You Were Sleeping and since I’ve seen ppl talk about it both here and on discord I really want to watch it

also ‘tis the season for silly Hallmark movies, so I’ll for sure watch a couple of those xD there are also two wlw ones from last year or so that I haven’t seen yet, and of course piles and piles of straight ones

current obsession:

Definitely St Clare’s xD did I mention this already on this post, perhaps once or twice? xD

Also, I managed to have a crush on a minor book character again, headmistress Theobald o.O

I should update my obsession tag and my blog description! I think it still says flufftober xD

For easy copying - leave a blank for the people you tag! Question Tag Game Thingy Current book I’m reading: Last song I listened to: Currently watching: Current fic I’m reading: Next on my watchlist: current obsession:

Tagging everyone I’ve already tagged as well as @die-schwanenkoenigin, @squishmittenficfan @toboldlynerd purlturtle and anyone else who sees this :)

#tagging meme #tagged #tag later #mine #Youtube #tagmemenov23 #st Clare’s #Hanni & Nanni #nov‘23 #25.11.23 #banashee #question tag game thingy #okdanketschüss - Joel #current obsession #stclares