#And maybe I just want to be held.

[akchually]

.

#so there's this girl #and there's this conversation I had where I told Prettyboy about a coworker whose version of polyamory is #'she says she needs me back in Washington but I don't have a job there. I keep telling her to get another boyfriend while I'm out of town #just make sure he's not around when I visit so I don't have to fight anybody' #That tickled me. And the conversation ended with me getting like a third of a hall pass. I gotta call if anything happens. #Call so Prettyboy feels like he's part of my romantic life even when the romance isn't him #Which is the opposite track of the one I was giggling about okay yeah #But like my best friend here is. Super pretty. Ridiculously pretty. #And kind and works hard and takes care of the people she loves. She's always finding ways to help me. #And she's vegan and loves my cooking and that's my love language okay #I wanna make sure she eats I wanna see what happens if she's given full reigns on dominance I want I yearn #And we talk for hours about nothing but it's been weeks since I've been like one third available and I dunno how to tell her #Or if I should or if I'd be just another person in her life who wants her for what she can do for them #I think my intentions are good but it's lonely. The long distance and the seasonal work and the isolated town up in the mountains. #And maybe I just want to be held. #I know she's grey ace and a lot of the romantic relationships she's had in the past were very manipulative and not what she really wanted #Maybe that's what's pulling me in so hard like am I just insecure and want to prove myself yet again #I've always been drawn to flaky people #I wanna be the one person they show up for #This is the thing that I actually need to process in therapy and can't just lsd the anxiety away #Though that worked for most things #Take hallucinagens. Once. #I'm such a hugger but only worked up the courage to hug her a few days ago. #We've been talking (lowercase t) for months. #And I know she has her own long distance unicorn relationship back in Kentucky. I'm hoping the subject will just surface again. #And then I can say hey #I think you're really pretty

[secondary-colorentimy]

ok so firstly: merry christmas (well christmas eve) to all who celebrate and happy holidays for those who dont >0<

and secondly: a fact about me which i believe i have 100% stated before online, the nutcracker is my FAVORITE ballet!!!! so heres Rook as the nutcracker, there WAS supposed to be a clara Vil to accompany him but the fates didnt allow it (i wasnt liking the sketches i was making 😞) so perhaps in the future i shall reunite them but for now take him <3

#fanart #twisted wonderland #twst #rook hunt #you can imagine a Clara vil #or you can imagine a clara Yuu #whichever you fancy to imagine UwU #my little toy soldier <3 #hehehhehe #i loveeee hiwm #i wanted to do more but it just wasnt working out 🥺 #maybe by new years? #fact i came up with this idea in october #and held onto it until december when it made sense to make christmas art

[dubiousdisco]

Johnny's ass keeps pushing Sento away from the support on his back because it's too big btw, do you think Sento knows. Is Sento aware that johnny's cheeks are constantly pushing it. And if so, do you think Sento cares at all, being a sword and all. Is that mundane for a sword. Does Sento compare whose backs or waists or butts or hands felt nicer. Does Kenshi know. Would it tell Kenshi that his hands are the most caring but Johnny's ass is the biggest.

#maybe that's just how it works. being a sword. even if you're sentient. #johnshi #<- target audience #I'm assuming that all the souls in that sword (or most of them) held it before and some kept it on their backs #so now i'm wondering if they get there agter they die and start thinking they should have kept sento in a different position #or if they mind the climate or where the sword is kept #like do they feel it? they are in it but do they feel it #do they ever think 'if I knew it felt this way i would have cared for Sento in a different manner' #i know im anthropomorphizing the sword but the sword has people in it #sento: hey descendent can you light a fire we're cold #kenshi: Oh of course! #sento: thank you. do you want us to give you the grace of vision so you can see the white boy's ass btw #kenshi: what #sento: its a really nice ass. who said that. #kenshi: #mortal kombat #im sorry i juat wanted to talk about the souls in there feeling thinfs through the sword but that implies they felt johnnys ass #and i wanted to make a joke about it #inside sento: #- Akira Taiga-sama had the nicest hands but Hayao-sama had the greatest butt. #both of them also inside the sword hearing this: thank you ascendent you honor us #no but really i kike the idea the sento feels that kenshi is caring for it 🥲

[chaoticallyfluffy]

Ok consider:

A new hero emerges and the Justice League watches him for a while who make sure he’s not a threat. They see this giant clumsy man who moves like he’s not used to his body, smiles goofily every time he saves someone, and is clearly inexperienced with his powers and they’re all just like. Ah. This is a child.

Except they don’t think he’s a ten year old or however old Billy is at the time, no no. Clearly this hero came into existence shortly before his first appearance, just a few months ago. They don’t know how or why but It’s not the weirdest thing they’ve seen so it’s pretty easy to believe.

But they can’t just leave this toddler with the powers of a god to stumble around and potentially hurt someone by accident, nor go down the wrong path and become a villain. So of course they decide to ‘subtly’ guide him without alerting him to the fact they’re onto him.

They introduce themselves but instead of inviting him to the league they pop by every once in a while to ‘subtly’ teach him about responsibility and power, but also about love and humanity. They try to teach him to enjoy life and that he doesn’t have to act like an adult around them, instead encouraging him to enjoy his childhood even if it’s not an ordinary one.

(Too bad the Justice League suck at subtlety.)

Billy is certain they somehow found out he’s a kid before they even met him, probably because of Batman’s freaky know-it-all powers, but he isn’t very worried as they seem nice and don’t treat him like he’s dumb or fragile. They respect him as a hero despite his age so he lets himself act like a kid around them after a while.

When he gets comfortable enough to detransform Billy thinks that’s his identity reveal. The league thinks that he magicked himself a body that’s more of a representation of his true self and fits his developmental age better, possibly as a way to blend in with humans and experience what it’s like to be a normal child. Good for him!

Basically Billy gets a bunch of super powered parents and the Justice League get a newborn man that they think they’re raising from scratch lol

#billy batson #shazam #dc #dc captain marvel #justice league #fanfiction #fanfic #dcu #Diana’s idea of subtly teaching responsibility is to attack him before ever introducing herself #Billy’s happily helping a cat out of a tree then sees a sword rapidly approaching his face held by a terrifying woman #it ends with them both getting ice cream and discussing his tactics #Clark was one of the very few reasonable ones and just gave advice #hes not very subtle though #I mean have you seen him? he’s the most recognizable figure on earth #he’s often spotted on rooftops sharing homemade sandwhiches with Marvel as a way to encourage him to take breaks and be social #Surprisingly the most famous group of people in America who do flips in colourful spandex all day aren’t exactly masters of subtlety #Bruce tried to do an irl trolley problem to see how he would handle it #it was rigged so no one would get hurt and all the victims were well paid actors of course #but Billy didn’t know that #he stopped the trolley with his bare hands #he didn’t even consider any other option #he did not go to school so he's never heard of the problem and didn't even realize there WAS another option #Bruce nodded approvingly but was honsetly kind of disappointed #he wanted to know how a toddler with above average morals would solve it the intended way #maybe he’ll try it on Jon next

[introspectivememories]

tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.

(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)

and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.

tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.

(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)

and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.

(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)

and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly

and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves

(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)

but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.

#what the fuck is this #the theme was wistfulness. hopefully that came across right. and like i wanted this to be all 1 text block so you feel how it all collapses #into that 1 thought they have at they end but fuckass tumblr has a 4096??? text limit for a single paragraph???? so here's multiple paragra #anyway here is my middle of the road sad timbern hc. do i think this will happen? no? is this still a fun world to play in? yeah absolutely #also super huge fan of darla haunting the narrative. darla as this chasm they cannot cross. darla as smth they shelter each other from #but also smth like a 2 way blade. it cuts them both. it will never stop cutting them. smth smth the wound will always bleed #also i cannot stress how important it is that they are happy with other people!!! they are both satisfied with other people. it's just that #they have a very specific history and they are the only two people who really know and understand that history #and also it's not that theyre unhappy with their partners but just that smtimes they look at each other and... wonder. in a softer world #maybe i could've been a chef and you could've still been a superhero and we could've still worked out. maybe we would've gotten a boat #together and maybe we could've come home to each other. maybe i could've trusted you to come home to me. maybe you could've #understood my need to help people. maybe we could've held our love as something precious. #maybe in a softer world our love wasn't something that hurt us both. #i need to lay down. im going crazy #as always i do love reading yalls thoughts in the reblogs and replies!!! #bernard dowd #dc #tim drake #timbern #timber

[whathorselegs]

What the anime did to Dazai's Entrance Exam was just awful in general, but the worst part of it for me, was the fact I didn't know it was supposed to be a light novel adaption in my first watch of BSD.

I thought it was setting up a whole arc with Kunikida, I thought the Azure King was gonna come back and play some sort of role going forward. I was excited for this and then got NOTHING!

Dazai, Atsushi, Fukuzawa, Ranpo all get enemies/nemeses to have messy homoerotic energy with.

When will it be Kunikida's turn!!?

#bungou stray dogs #bsd kunikida #No I'm not counting that guy who held Aya hostage as his homoerotic nemesis #because whilst the guy definitely has obsessive vibes for Kuni they met when he was in school so nope #I guess in a way you could call Dazai his nemesis asdfghj #But only in the annoying way #I'm talking about a nemesis that wants to kill you #If they weren't cowards Yosano and Kouyou could have been given some of this energy too #I'm just saying cannibalism arc missed out on them interacting #maybe not full nemesis but enemy you respect and are in lesbians with #rambling #rambling a lot apparently #I really got side tracked in my own tags with this one haha

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war #and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him #atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be #travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with #her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !! #so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war #so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either #but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (: #I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know #jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone #but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord #also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway #so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet #she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him #but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived #the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!! #so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister #for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳 #anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite #rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his #smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him #not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying #man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a #potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!) #and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a #lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn #and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as #now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield #one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies #with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT

[shokveyv]

shut up

#transformers #maccadam #drama #i like the cover #people saying it's too 'sexy' are the problematic sexists #this same shit happened with z0ner's cover. yes i bullied her too because i believed the stupid shit you guys were saying #I MANAGED TO GROW UP BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL DOING THIS TOXIC SEXIST ASS DANCE #i thought i was the bad person but honestly it's yall and your bullying asses #you're disgusting for bullying artists just because they draw women how they want #GROW UP. #I LOVE DRAWING CURVY SLIM SEXY ROBOT GIRLS #THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT #WE SHOULD FILL THE WORLD WITH MORE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE #IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING ELSE... DO IT YOURSELF!!!! MAYBE ONE DAY THE COMPANY WILL LIKE YOUR ART ENOUGH TO HAVE IT ON A COVER #i like milne's stocky arcee just as much as average arcee from TFA just as much as svelte arcee in this cover #i really thought it was me that was why i left the fandom due to my ignorance but coming back and seeing this petty ass drama you guys #are unleashing... im realising that you guys are the problematic ones. omfg #you make it so unfun to be in this fandom. might as well publish the most recent animation i was working on then take the ones i've already #finished into hiding. you people suck the joy out of drawing for transformers. #transformers was my last bastion out of depression and you guys reminded me why people shouldn't get into transformers #getting back into tf revitalized my desire to draw and held me back from suicide. but knowing how toxic environment you guys are... #there's no reason to keep living with such inhospitable negative toxic bullies.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Whooooo could have predicted this?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly drawn MDZS #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #fairy #I love that they go up a mountain to check out fake ghost rumours. It's everything I want out of a date (Nature hike & something haunted) #I just know these two are big hike fans (wwx prob 'gets tired' and 'needs to be carried' at the end) #(he doesn't need it he just wants to be held) #Its not super apparent but wwx is using 'gonna be haunted in there' as an excuse to not encounter the dog #thats on me for rushing this one though #the end result makes lwj look like one of those dad's that's like 'come on kids lets go check out these dark caves! Nothing creepy here!' #Which is a vibe he deserves to have. Maybe with a more blunt tone. #I don't know who would be a worse chaperone tbh. I think together they would be good but separate? Chaos. #Speaking of chaperoning...Jin Lin sure did wander off. Wonder where he went? #JC needs to invest in a stronger child leash 'cause his nephew keeps chewing through it and running off

[theheirofthesharingan]

“Tell me, father, which to ask forgiveness for: what I am, or what I’m not?

Tell me, mother, which should I regret: what I became, or what I didn’t?”

- source

#i realized i almost never do anything with itachi and his parents so this one post is dedicated to them #the regret of killing them would have killed him before his actual death #what kind of child he was to raise a sword against his own parents? #his parents weren't even angry that he'd betrayed them at last #all the nightmares that would have followed him in which they hated him for everything and he would have no defense #who held him when he cried thinking of his mom? who comforted him when he choked on his tears thinking of his father's last words? #who was there for him when memories of his family became too much to handle and he would just collapse unable to breathe #maybe just maybe when the first symptoms of his illness showed he thought #that it was just one of his regular coughing fits that came with the onslaught of the memories of his parents #did he ever want to crawl back to sasuke and tell him how miserable he was and how much he missed their parents #where did the strength to be entirely indifferent and inhuman composure come to him #how much practice did it take? how many days? months? years? #did people around him ever suspect how much he was suffering? #all from thinking about his dead parents whom he killed #whose blood never left his tiny fingers and soaked into his flesh and blended into his own #how much misery was encapsulated into those expressionless features that never gave away even the slightest hint of pain #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #itachi #mikoto #mikoto uchiha #fugaku uchiha #fugaku

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

A Tomarry AU where Harry and Tom didn't know/care that the other exist. They are busy living their lives until — Gellert Grindelwald kidnaps them.

Maybe, he does it to recruit them, maybe it was because of the rumour going around that Tom is Dumbledore's unwanted son (due to the sheer amount of awkwardness and no kind smiles from albus to Tom)/Harry is Dumbledore's son due to them having such a close relationship (outsider's pov)? Or maybe it was because he wanted to recruit them as they both fought his followers and survived (Harry bc he's harry I can't just run away Potter and Tom because bro got caught in the middle of the battle). OR WHATEVER it is I just think it would so funny.

Poor Tom, all he wanted to do was peacefully plan on how to take over the world and poor Harry, all he wanted to do was fly around on his broom and play quidditch damn it—

#skdjehehjsisk idk why #but i think it'll be so funny #just imagine #Grindelwald held them hostage to get Albus' attention #or maybe to recruit them? #due to them being good at specific things? #OR MAYBE BOTH #but whatever it is #imagine the crack as they try to get out of this weird situation??? #tomarry #harrymort #grindeldore #tom riddle #harry potter #albus dumbledore #gellert grindelwald #gellert when he meets them: you must be wondering why I've gathered you here #i just want a crack/fix-it w them all of together

[floral-hex]

I lied, I don’t want to have sex. Take off your shoes, we’re going to gently hold each other for the next 4 hours.

#NOT A JOKE! #HOLD ME! #don’t want weiner! don’t want cooter! just want to hold someone close and feel their heart beat with mine! #every night I think about redownloading tinder and simply saying “no sex. just want to be held.“ #it’s platonic honey! #maybe also some slight platonic kissing #as friends #I think you should be able to squish up against your friends and give them a soft smooch on their forehead while watching The Thing #you know when you hug someone and it’s so warm and nice and you do a big breath and it feels so nice and peaceful when you exhale #I want that… 4 hours. no negotiations. 2 movies. light snacks. or else. #text

[arsenicflame]

izzy hands with misplaced resentment towards jim because of the association with losing limbs in the night out of his control

#& the whole begging them to kill him thing and having that denied feeling like its taking away his autonomy in the situation #idk its something #i just think exploring complex emotions is really interesting like. obviously jim was doing it for his own good #and its not that izzy doesn't understand that. but hes been held down in the night and had things taken from him before #and its hard not to associate that sometimes #& maybe you can't be angry at the person you really want to be angry at but you need to be angry at someone #and maybe its easier to be angry at the people trying to help you #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #jim jimenez

[sapphire-scarletta-wol]

Was trying to draw my wol for practice again but its not coming out too great, i wasnt liking my skecthes so i decided to just draw kitty raha to soothe my soul.

#ff14 #ffxiv #final fantasy 14 #miqo'te #final fantasy xiv #ff14 ffxiv #graha tia #g'raha tia #Kitty raha #Urianger picks him up and raha points to the book he wants #Kitty raha would the pleasant and cuddly type of kitty #Everyone loves him. Except ali maybe #He went over to alphi instead when they were both calling to him and she held a grudge against him ever since #I dunno what im thinking about anymore #I just wanna draw my wol pretty #But i suck uhu

[prince-peachie]

Matt Boyd gives the best hugs

#everytime I draw Neil in his jershey he’s being held up #maybe I just want Neil to be loved #and cherished #sobbing #Neil is resigned to his fate as Matt’s best friend #matt boyd #aftg #aftg fanart #I demand a hug this very minute

[milkweedman]

Trying to finish something I was supposed to do ages ago--spinning a contrast color for this sock yarn. The fleece (southdown babydoll) had a pretty wide range of grays, most of which I blended together. But I intentionally left the darkest gray out of the mix so that later I could spin up just that, and have a dark gray for the toe and heel. So, now I'm doing that.

One thing I did not realize until now (due to intentionally avoiding working with the darker gray locks) is that they are all much shorter than the other colors of gray, and a lot of them are way finer too. That's not ideal, so I might not use it for the toe--it won't be as hard-wearing of a yarn and the toe/ball of the foot is what wears out the fastest on my socks by far, so. It's fine though, I just want some kind of decorative element that uses the fact that this fleece had lots of nice colors.

I'm also not that surprised, I guess. The longest locks were always the very light gray ones. Hard to know why without seeing the sheep though.

#spinning #handspun yarn #southdown #hand combed top #sock yarn #ive been trying to work on the hat but i need to frog and debug and also come up with some new peeries #and all of that requires brain which i do not have #and i realized actually i just wanted to knit socks and not think abt stuff #the distaff spinning... i am also having problems with #holding it is killing my hands. didnt realize quite how much until i switched to spinning this #which is not usually painful unless my hands are already fucked #so while i love that distaff i dont think i can really use it RIP #next model i might try one of the longer ones that can be held in place a variety of ways rather than exclusively held in the hand #i dont know what theyre called but ive seen tons in paintings of spinners. usually like the length of an arm maybe ? #could work better. we'll see #supported spinning