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bedazzlecunt · 2 months

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i get sooo many asks and DMs asking for tips on how to get better at edging so i wanted to make an actual post about how i turned myself into a total edgeslut — and how you can, too! there's really only one main 'rule' to follow while you're learning how to edge, so i promise you can do it! this info should still be applicable regardless of your particular genitalia, but i mostly reference cunts because that's what i've got.

the one rule!

my ultimate suggestion for people who are new to edging and finding it almost impossible is to STOP TRYING TO EDGE. some of you are going like that's crazy edging is all i want to do! but listen to me. listen to me. we are going to get you there.

if horniness is a scale of one to ten, with one being 'not horny at all' and ten being 'orgasming' the ideal edging situation is that you get to a nine and then stop. that's really hard to do, though! but you could probably get to a four and stop, right? pretty easily, even.

that's what you want to do. figure out that highest number on that scale you can go and still stop, and go to that number. do this a lot. i love, love, LOVE touching like this, even now that i am a pro at edging, because there's zero risk of going over and it's still a great tool to keep you horny / submissive / feeling hot as hell / whatever it is you want to get out of edging.

start at bringing yourself to a four and then stop. once you've mastered that, once that feels almost too easy, move up to a five. then a six. seven. i encourage you not to cum at all while you're doing this, but also, i'm not your dom! do what you want! the point is you're touching-without-cumming a lot (which is great practice all on it's own) and you're acclimating your body to getting horny, sometimes even REALLY horny, without actually cumming every time it happens.

doing this regularly also has the pleasant side-effect keeping you aroused more often than not. if you're constantly bringing yourself to level seven horniness and then stopping, you are almost never going to drop below level three. you are going to be turned on a LOT, which feels sooooo good. which leads to...

getting addicted*!

the thing about being always horny, about touching yourself all the time, about never cumming, is that it feels really, really good. people wouldn't do denial if it didn't! and once you've had a month or so of touching-but-not-edging and your body's adjusted to the sense of being constantly turned on and how good it feels, it gets to a point where cumming is a lot less appealing. you know it's going to take away the good, horny, happy feeling that you're getting addicted to! once you've come to really, really enjoy being constantly horny, and come to associate the idea of cumming with losing that good feeling, that makes it a lot easier to keep from going over as you creep up to higher levels like eight and nine. and even when you do go over, the fact that you'll lose the sensation that you've come to enjoy so much will just reinforce for you that it's better not to cum!

*i'm using addicted as a fun little hyperbole word here, but i do want to add the disclaimer that if your edging / horniness / etc. starts to interfere with your life like a real addiction then you gotta stop that before you hurt yourself. do not actually jeopardize your job/relationships/etc. for kink.

edging!

by this point, you'll have lots of practice at masturbating without going over and you'll be addicted to the feeling of being constantly turned on — and you'll dread the thought of losing that feeling. those things combined are the peak edging scenario. this is the point when you can start trying to edge seriously; bringing yourself to a nine on our horny scale and stopping.

you will probably still go over occasionally as you figure out your actual limits — don't be angry at yourself for this, but do refrain from trying to edge again on days you go over. the last thing you want is to reacclimate your body to coming regularly. if you try to edge in the morning but go over by mistake, just bring yourself to a level eight for the rest of the times you masturbate and try again tomorrow. eventually, you'll know your limits, be addicted to the feeling of being edged, and be really practiced at doing it!

if you're still having trouble or just want to play in new ways, then find out what turns you on but you can't orgasm from. your nipples are sensitive enough to break your brain but you can't orgasm just from that? well then get to playing with them, dummy! love penetration but can't come from it without clit stimulation? tape off your clit and get fucking! i can never cum just from humping a pillow or grinding on something, so grinding is a great way for me to edge! try to find stuff that makes you really, really horny but that you can't orgasm from and really lean into those things!

#im so serious abt not jeoporadizing ur life for this. like #if u cant still go out w ur besties and to work and be normal then thats not good #u must continue 2 have a life outside of ur edging kink #BUT!!!!!!! once u find the balance...its fun #edgeslut #nsft #sub nsft #bi nsft #wren speaking!#bd/sm blog #bd/sm kink #3dging

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a-sapphic-love · 4 months

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🧴-bodyguard els!

summary: in which the reader's father is a celebrity, so he gets reader a bodyguard for protection! ellie sees through the protests and rebellion, and she knows exactly how to get you to admit what you want.

warnings: MDNI!!!!, bratty!reader, lowkey spoiled!reader, brat tamer! ellie, smuttt, nipple play, degrading, nipple piercing, bodyguard!ellie, bdsm, power dynamics, teasing, lowkey daddy issues!reader, probably more that i forgot to list

the people have spoken! most requested from my last poll💞

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"what the fuck do you mean I'm getting a bodyguard!? you can't be serious!" you scream, fuming at your dad for his latest antics. you usually keep your cool, but he's never said anything this stupid before.

a bodyguard? what for?

you're so annoyed he's taking this step, sure he's famous and you're pretty reckless- so what? you're not a small child, you're grown and you can take care of yourself!

your father, on the other hand, seems not to care- like usual. he keeps that same blank stare as you unleash your rage, and once you pause to catch your breath, he excuses himself.

too busy with the next brand deal, or advertisment, or magazine column. soo frustrating!

you can't believe him, buying you some guy to follow you around and make sure you live the dullest, most monotone life possible! this is truly a nightmare!

before the bodyguard even arrives, you're thinking of ways to scare him off. you could completely torment him, maybe bring as many girls home as possible and get touchy. or maybe you could pretend like he hurt you! that would rile your father up!

by the day you finally meet your new incarcerator, you're sure you'll have him gone in less than a month. you know it won't be long before it's back to programming as usual.

except, something unexpected happens. you're introduced to the bodyguard, and instead of some pervy, buff man, you find a woman standing before you.

a very pretty woman.

you didn't plan for this, and it frustrates you even more that you father somehow managed to be one step ahead this time. this woman made you nervous before you even knew her name!

you have to keep your mean façade up, though, so you make sure to say something snarky. "so you're the woman who signed up to act like my babysitter.. how much is he paying you, huh?", you snicker in her face, and she just smiles.

"good money, that's for sure. my name is ellie, what's yours?", she says, walking you into your apartment. you don't even want to look at her, because it gets you all flustered.

you're surprised she doesn't say anything about your silence- she's not trying to control you yet. you're tired of the quiet.

you run into your bedroom, flopping on the bed and groaning in annoyance at the sight of ellie in the doorway. "my room doesn't even have windows- what could even happen?! can I get some space!" you yell out into the doorway, and ellie just nods before walking off. what?

she... listened?

the next few weeks are beyond what you could ever have imagined. ellie doesn't invade your privacy, she barely even bothers you, and she's discreet whenever you both go out.

it starts to annoy you how well the whole bodyguard thing is working out. because it means your father was right about this being a good choice, and you can't stand for your father to be right.

so you get even more reckless. more drinking, more nights out, more ellie having to drag your sloppy drunk self home. even so, you never heard a word of complaint- in fact, she took any chance she could find to get closer with you. it was getting irritating.

but if you couldn't take ellie down, the least you could do is a big fuck-you to your dad. let him know you can never let him win!

the press has had a field day with the relationship between you and your father, and the many rebellious stunts you've pulled before. you've gotten tattoos, some facial piercings and you weren't against most body mods.

however, you'd never done anything really scandalous. nothing like getting a nipple piercing.

you were fairly drunk one night, stumbling home with ellie's arm just barely propping you up, when you passed by your favorite piercing store. you were the most impulsive when you were drunk, and as soon as you saw that shop, you floundered right over.

so many kinds of piercings, but all you wanted was a nipple piercing- and you wanted it bad.

so bad, that ellie couldn't stop you when you got it done. she defeatedly paid before taking you home, but you noticed a glint in her eye.

the next day, ellie sat you down on your bed after your shower, and asked about the piercing. "does it hurt? is it sensitive?" she asked in a careful voice. you wanted to give her attitude soo bad, but not when she acted so caring.

you tried to just brush her off, but eventually she cut to the chase. "listen, you know im here to protect you, right? it's really not safe to... be so impulsive. i know you find me irritating. but please, just let me help you... you can listen this one time?" she says, with such saccharine eyes you couldn't help but melt.

"right! yeah, sure, just... what- what do i need to do?" you asked. she was just being so nice, it made you so flustered....

thats why you listened when she asked if you could let her see the piercings. even though letting her see your bare nipples was... humiliating, warmth was spreading in your underwear as well on your face. shit- you were aroused?!

ellie seemed so kind, gently inspecting the piercing. your nipples had always been sensitive, so they were even worse pierced. just feeling them rub against your shirt made your body tingle.

"there we go, you're going to let me help you clean 'em, right?" ellie said, voice nearly a whisper. you were willing to let her do anything- so you nodded quickly.

ellie used some cotton pads that were wet with saline solution, before just feeling your nipples with her soft fingers. she noticed the blissed out look in your eyes, and that's when she decided to stop. "alright, you're all clean! you did such a a great job, y'know.." she said, in a whispery voice.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to whine, beg for her to keep touching you, but you started to feel bad. she was just trying to help you clean the piercing, wasn't she?

"wait, what's wrong?" ellie says, pausing in the middle of putting the supplies back. "did I hurt you?" she asks, and your brain begins to short-circuit. this much affection from a girl has been previously unheard of, and it just all feels too good... your brain is so fuzzy...

ellie understands when a small whine escapes your lips. "wait... something going on here?'" she says, narrowing her eyes. she has you right where she wants you.

you stumble over your words, trying to make excuses for your flusteredness, but ellie doesn't hear any of it. "what, you really feel that way about your bodyguard?", she leans in and whispers.

you can't deny the attraction you've had to her for a while. anyway, you won't get what you want if you do.

"that- right, I'm sorry, just let me deal with this really quick," you say breathlessly. you can't bear to tell her what you really feel. it's too bad, then, that she has every intention to make you.

"no, don't worry... I can help you. just say it. tell me what you want me to do..." she whispers, before getting up from the bed with a cocky smile you've hardly seen before. you can tell she's waited all too long for this.

"ellie... els, shit, I... need you to help me over here..." you whine, hand resting on your soaking cunt. you just want ellie to fill you up.

luckily, she takes that as enough begging. you don't even realize it when your clothes are gone, or when she has you bent over the bed.

her fingers slip in and out of your sticky folds, lighting your skin on fire. all you can think of is how bad you want her.

her warm tongue abuses your clit, her hands have a bruising grip on your thighs. she has your legs shaking and your head spinning.

"js'sso pretty down here, right sweetness?" she mumbles, giving your ass a light slap before getting up and undressing herself. a thick, 8-inch marbled strap made its way out of her boxers, and you practically drooled.

but you'd taken many straps before, 8 inches wasn't too bad for you. so you got cocky. "what, only 8? you sure you don't have something bigger?" you sneered, and a look flashed in her eyes.

"there she is, the brat is back isn't she?" she chuckled. her hand snaked down your back teasingly, before pressing your back into a deeper arch. you groaned at the pressure, but it wasn't too much.

"you gonna p-put it in already?" you say, voice wavering. ellie looks kind of scary, like she's been waiting for you to say something distasteful.

her hands grip your hips, and you feel the strap slide in. it's definitely got some girth to it, but what's really shocking is how quickly ellie slams it in. so fast, you feel like you can taste her in your mouth.

"come on, where did the attitude go? i thought 8 inches was nothing for you?" she whispers in your ear, sliding in and out at a harsh pace. you can't even speak, body shaking as she fucks you relentlessly.

one of her hands is playing with your nipple, and the other is gently rubbing circles on your clit. "els- ellie, please.." you choke out. she's going so roughly, but you feel like you're about to cum all over yourself.

"you know, you act so insufferable... celebrity's daughter, thinking she can treat people like shit, because what? 'cause her daddy doesn't pay enough attention to 'er?" she says, groaning at how tight you're squeezing the strap.

" 'm so sorry els- shitt, ellie, please..." you whimper, but she just gives your thigh a light smack. "you're sorry, huh?" she mocks, before grabbing your face and kissing all over your lips. "you gonna be good now, right? 'cause bad girls don't get to cum!" she grunts, slamming her hips into yours even harder. your cum is running down your legs, a creamy mess that gets your thighs all sticky and tacky.

"mhm, m'gonna be so good for you els! please, please just let me cum..", you mumble, shoving your face into a pillow because you're just so needy that you put your defenses down.

"good- shit, good fucking girl." she coos, giving your sloppy wet cunt multiple light slaps. "you gonna cum? come on baby, you can do it..."

for a second, everything is misty. your legs shake and go weak, stuffing you even fuller of ellie's thick strap. creamy, sticky squirt sprays all over the bed, while ellie's grip on your hips tightens.

"shit, you- you feel so good..." she mumbles, before nearly collapsing on top of you from the intensity of her own orgasm.

you lay on the bed, out of breath, when suddenly she leans in close from behind you and whispers something.

"round two?"

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fuckmeyer · 10 months

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if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #breaking dawn #smeyer wanted to model all her books off of classic literature: romeo & juliet - wuthering heights - pride & prejudice #AMATEUR HOUR #HEY SMEYER I GOT A FUCKIN STORY TO MODEL YOUR TWILIGHT FANFICTION AFTER #BREAKING DAWN BOOK ONE: Bella fucks Edward for his power & breaks his stone dick in the process - & lo! Ravioli is born in the carnage!#Bella becomes a vamp. she takes over the Cullen coven AND the Volturi bc honestly fuck everyone here only Bella is Cool and Right #oh and vamp hybrids are now legal so vamps start gettin it on. hybrids everywhere. humans who? welcome to the Golden Age baybeeee #BD BOOK 2: Alice comes to Queen Bella with a vision: 'lmao bestie the prophecy says ur getting ur shit smacked'#oh_fuck.avi #Bella begins DEVOURING ALL THE CULLENS INCLUDING RAVIOLI so they can't fulfill the prophecy #vampire fluid contains 11 secret herbs & spices so it's lip-smackin finger-lickin good #omg but ONE vampire was hidden away........ gasp #surprise bitch! it's Ravioli!#turns out Bella mistook Ravioli for LITERAL Ravioli (Chef Boyardee Beefaroni to be exact)#Raviolo comes back and makes Bella throw up! bleh! the Cullens (& Beefaroni) are freed!#together with Benjamin Ravioli now rules over the Cullens and the vamp world #Bella is imprisoned #FUCK Bella #FUCK this story #still a better one than BD tho #the end

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splitsabers · 12 days

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BD-1 - Star Wars Jedi: Survivor

#second part of this photoset #once again the best droid #star wars jedi survivor #jedi survivor #swjs #swjs photomode #photomode #cal kestis #bd 1 #splitsabers #bd1 part 2

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lyra-sol · 1 month

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What do you feel watching these pics,I personally exploded, don’t know abt u

Under you will find the timelapse and my very first drawing of dude, I unintentionally did a redraw lol only thing is that it’s actually alter dude from BD this time, I also added the official art bcs I used that as a reference (I did the same with the my 1st drawing lol)

Enjoyyy

#postal 2 #postal dude #postal dude fanart #postal 2 fanart #postal brain damaged #postal bd #postal bd fanart

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roadkillremi · 8 months

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Kinktober '23

1 out of 11

Degrading

Billy loomis

MasterList. Kinktober

Summary : Pure filth. The characters are 18+

Warnings : smut without a plot, minors DNI, degrading, language, oral (m receiving).

Sorry it's a bit lazily written :(

You sat on your bed gripping the ends of your nightgown. Billy squatted down to your level as if you were a child.

"Understand?" He tilted his head so you could see his face fully. You nod, "I'm okay with it.".

He smirked standing up looking over your body. Your eyes scan over his body eventually meeting his. Your face flushed pink, "Don't act so innocent. Last week you begged for my cock.".

Your chest tightened as you nodded, "sorry.". He tilted your chin upwards, "So pretty...". He leaned down grabbing your nightgown to lift it up. You raised your arms to help it slide off of you. You shivered a bit as your bare chest hit the air.

"Just tell me if you ever need to stop."

"Okay.."you whispered. He raised his eyebrow and grabbed your jaw.

"Use your manners." He spoke strict and gripped your jaw tightly.

"Yes, sir." You corrected. He smiled, "Good little slut.". You tightened your legs together at his words.

"Now lay down and let me use you like the whore you are." He started undressing himself. You nodded laying down on your bed as you watched him undress. You tried to prepare yourself for Billy. He never gave you a second to adjust to his size. He always just got what he wanted, and you had no problem with that.

He crawled on top of you, "Lift your legs up.". You obeyed lifting your legs up wrapping your arms around your knees.

"There you go.. that's right open your legs for me." He whispered. He aligned himself dragging his members in your folds. You whined bucking your hips up craving more. He smacked your thigh gently letting you know to stop.

"So needy, hmm? Ready to be my little come dumpster?" He teased.

"Yes, sir.." you mumbled. He smiled entering the tip in. You bit your lip anticipating more of him. He steadied his balance placing his arms beside your head. He thrust his hips forward giving you a smirk. You moaned softly squirming beneath him, "Stay still." He ordered. You moved your hips against his causing him to force your hip down. His fingers from little crescent shapes on your hips. He leaned down close to your ear, his hot breath heating it up.

"God, I didn't even tease you and you're wet.. you really are just a little slut." His voice was low and raspy. You nodded as you let out a small moan. He glared at you, "Stop playing stupid. Use your damn words.".

"Sorry, Sir... it's..so.. so much" you whined. His cock was too much as he pumped into you without waiting. Your walls clenched as they tried to adjust. He smiled continuing to shove his hips forward.

"I can stop if you cant handle it."

You shook your head no desperately, he chuckled.

"Words." He demanded. You took a Shakey breath, "I can handle it.".

"Good..".

You glanced up at his face surprised to hear a praise. You parted your lips about to tease him for getting out of character.

"If you say something I will leave you needy-" he threatened. You closed your mouth and nodded, he grinned.

"That's better." He leaned down giving you a hungry kiss. His lips moved down to your neck, he left small pecks before biting. You tilted your head up hinting to him you craved more. He chuckled against your neck, "So pathetic.. all worked over some love bites.".

"Not pathetic" you breathed between moans. He sat up glaring down at you, "You aren't?". You froze not sure how to respond.

"Don't act like you can't talk now." He growled. You shook your head, "I'm not.".

"I guess I'll just stop then.". He pulled out turning away.

"No!" You sat up grabbing his arm. He smirked and turned back towards you. You looked down embarrassed, "I mean .. please don't.".

"That's better.." he smiled. He grabbed your hips pulling you closer to him. You let out a huff as you landed on your back. He gripped your plush thighs shoving himself back in. You let out a yelp of pleasure as he pushed himself further.

"Listen, I'm going to fuck you. And you're gonna take it. That's alright?" He tilted his head down to you.

"Yes, sir." You muttered trying to take it all in. He smirked leaning down, "Tell me how much of a whore you are for me.". You moaned softly trying to gather a response.

"use that dumb head of yours." He added. You tilted your head back, "i.. I love your... your cock.." you mumbled out. He hummed to himself, "I know you do... tell me.. do you want me to come in your mouth?". Your eyes shot up at him, "Yes! Yes please..".

"You think you deserve it?" He asked. You slowly nodded, he stared down at you. He tilted his head to the side, "I guess you were a decent cum slut today.". You got excited sitting up on the edge of your bed. He pulled himself out waiting for you to get on your knees.

You slid down to your knees and wrapped your hands around his legs. He smirked, "Ready?". You nodded opening your mouth for him. He stroked himself while leaning closer to your mouth. You stuck your tongue desperately waiting for him. He guided your head to his crotch by gripping your hair.

"That's it.." he mumbled. You bobbed your head while sucking him. Your cheeks strained and drool spilled. He chuckled, "Such a needy little girl.". He gripped your hair pushing your head down. You felt his cock hit the back of your throat. You groaned against him feeling the urge to gag.

"Almost done. Don't give out on me yet." He muttered as he continued to harsh your throat. You squeezed his legs leaving red crescent marks. He pushed your head back down releasing himself in your mouth.

"Don't. Swallow." He demanded. You hold his release tasting his warmth. He smiled, "Open..". You opened your mouth showing him his come. He grinned, "Mm.. such a dirty slut. Always so desperately listening to my commands.".

Tag list -

@hurlonsororitygirls @sanzumylovee @katie-tibo @horneybeach1

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owarinaki · 3 months

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Opening [Non-Credit][HQ] " Ao no Sumika" part 3

Jujutsu Kaisen [BD Vol.1]

OP 1/1 :: 1/2 :: 1/3 :: 1/4 :: 1/5

ED 1/1 ;; 1/2 ;; 1/3

OP2/1 ::::: OP2/2

Jujutsu Kaisen Blu-ray Disc Recap [All LINKS]

OP1 // OP2:: ED1 // ED2

EP1 1/1 :: 1/2 :: 1/3 :: 1/4 :: 1/5 :: 1/6

EP3 3/12

EP8 8/1 : 8/2 : 8/3

EP9 9/1 : 9/2 : 9/3

EP12 12/1 :: 12/2

EP14 14/1 :: 14/2 :: 14/3 :: 14/4 :: 14/5

Feral Gojo part 1 // part 2 // part 3

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subbyeddie · 1 year

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i get so wet at being degraded, i want a dom to call me names, to call me their stupid slut and a dumb mutt as they treat me like a toy.

#dumb puppy #ftm bottom #ftm dom #ftm nsft #nsft puppy #puppy sub #t4t ns/fw #t4t puppy #t4t sub #puppypl4y #t4t bd/sm #bd/sm blog #degredation kink #im so hhh rn i NEED someone to tell me what theyd do 2 me and degrade me so badly.

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starfirebutterfly1 · 11 months

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°•♡really wanna be a maid since I like cleaning, but wanting to serve a rich prevy mommy who'll make me wear a remote controlled vibrator, so she can walk in and see the mess I made on the marble floor. My punishment being to make her cum or else I'll have to lick my mess from the floor. I don't wanna leave because of how good the pay is but if I don't complete a order i'll be fired. Being trained to be the best slutty maid who sucks mommys tits when asked, being paid extra to make her friends cum as well when they're over. Licking her grool is apart of cleaning she says, so she'll make me lap at her cunt for hours until she says it's clean enough. Need a mommy who'll force me with money to be a slutty little maid for her entertainment ♡•°

#Should I make a part 2?#I still have more ideas for this #lesbian nsft #mommy k!nk #wlw nsft #sapphic nsft #cvmdump #sapphic #bd/sm breeding #bd/sm bunny #bd/sm slave #bd/sm pet #breeding bitch #md/lg #slutty maid

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tallerthantale · 7 months

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My spicy ineffable husbands take

You've heard consent isn't just for sex. Now get ready for the corollary you didn't know you needed, consensual non - consent isn't just for sex. It's going to take some foundation to get to the point, but trust me, it's worth it.

Disclaimer: this is all my personal interpretation, you are always welcome to see things differently.

I think Crowley and Aziraphale have both known that they are on a path to become each other's world since Job, but in a way that to them feels more profound than can ever be human analogued.

I think Aziraphale has known for some time that he wants their relationship to progress in a human, (physical, courtship, ect...) way, but is approach avoidant. The approach avoidance takes the form of trying to bait Crowley into making a move, like the faces he makes to get Crowley to make Hamlet a success, or the pouting he does to get Crowley to remove the paintball paint, but then bailing when Crowley makes an offer that gets serious. "You go to fast for me", not letting Crowley come over for the lockdown. But the "you go too fast for me" isn't a no, it's a 'convince me.'

Crowley's goal with pulling Aziraphale into shades of grey depends on letting Aziraphale make his own choices at every incremental step. All he is ever able to do is make an offer, and then Aziraphale decides if he is ready for it. It worked for the food, it probably eventually worked for the wine sometime off screen. It eventually turns into their agreement, which continues to exist in the form of: Crowley makes a proposition, Aziraphale makes a decision. We see Crowley be VERY hands off about the offers and answers. He almost never initiates physical contact with Aziraphale, and barely responds when Aziraphale does touch him, despite the actions clearly grabbing his attention. This lets Aziraphale have full control over how far he is willing to stray from heaven at any particular moment. In the church scene, Crowley notices the holy water, but doesn't push about it. Aziraphale was a no on that, and Crowley respects the no, and comes to his rescue and goes on the full date night magic show adventure accepting that no without complaint. And Crowley LOVES complaining.

If this dynamic is adhered to, Aziraphale won't make an actual first move physically, because he wants Crowley to do it, in the same way he might insist that Crowley do 'the dirty work.' He wants Crowley to be the proximate cause, because that is how Aziraphale assigns responsibilities to actions. S1E1 modern Aziraphale is still doing the whole "I've never actually killed anything before... I don't think I could... : (" bit after sending the French executioner to his death without qualms, and S1E6 Aziraphale is still fussing over trying to make sure it's Crowley that gets them into the airbase, because 'I'm the nice one, you can't expect me to do the dirty work.' He really does put far too much weight on who is doing the immediate action in that moment in isolation, and not nearly enough ethical weight on who contrived the scenario that caused the chain of events.

Crowley equally will not make a first move physically by their old rules, because of the priority he places on letting Aziraphale have full control of every millimeter of his indulgences. The proposition / decision framework that Crowley is adhering to is a system of platonic structured consent, and I don't think there is any reason to believe he would treat non platonic consent differently. I imagine that in an alternate universe where Azriaphale owns his desires and makes a physical first move, but there is a similar lack of communication, Crowley would starfish in the absence of an explicit instruction to do otherwise for fear of going somewhere Aziraphale doesn't want to go. In my view, Crowley's default really is to be that absolutist when it comes to Aziraphale's consent.

The irony of it is that he really doesn't need to be. Aziraphale's skittishness is an act. Aside from the kiss, the one other instance of Crowley initiating a substantial physical thing is the wall slam. As others have observed, Aziraphale is not even slightly fazed by it. If anything, he is fazed by Crowley letting him go. Right after he objects to Crowley hypnotizing the nun, "you didn't have to do that, you could have just asked her." But slamming him into a wall? No objection. (Do that again, right now.)

Personally I think Aziraphale's continuous bailing and 'you go too fast for me' had left Crowley with the impression that Aziraphale was not physically interested, at least not seriously, not yet. I think the Nina revelation was a 'oh shit, he actually wants that now.' That gave him the motivation to first attempt an offer, and then when that got derailed, for the first time, he didn't let Aziraphale have full control. From how I read Crowley's behaviour up to that point, the confession kiss was a very dramatic reversal that speaks to an almost unhinged emotional state.

That said, outside of the part where they were in the middle of a fight, being swept off his feet like that really is what Aziraphale wanted Crowley to do, and crucially, he didn't want to have to tell Crowley to do it. I think by season 2 Aziraphale is owning his desire for the trappings of a human romance, but when it comes to the more physical things, I could imagine Aziraphale most of the way through season 2's modern era still 100% endorsing the idea that he isn't being lustful if he's just letting Crowley have his way.

Problem is, Crowley's version of 'having his way' is transparently doing whatever Aziraphale wants him to do, specifically because Aziraphale wants him to do it and for no other reason.

And now for the spicy bit.

The impasse Aziraphale and Crowley have here is very similar to an impasse that's known to show up in CNC kink space. (That stands for Consensual Non - Consent.) This comparison is useful for understanding what's happening with them even if you headcannon them as sexless ace, or vanilla (or, you know... vanilla for now...) because so much of their interactions revolve around platonic consent games. So the argument I am presenting here is not that they would strike up sexual CNC roleplays, but rather to say that the way they have been interacting this whole time functionally is a platonic version of a poorly negotiated CNC dynamic already.

The source of the dynamic goes back to Aziraphale's fixation on proximate cause. He can set up whole elaborate escapades and have no shame response for the consequences as long as the very last action in the chain of events wasn't performed by him, and he has the thinnest veil of plausible deniability about what he was trying to accomplish. He wants the romantic gestures, but he doesn't want to be responsible for either wanting it, or it happening. This is a real life thing that often happens with people who have repressed desires. CNC world has a fair number of people who grew into it from letting themselves have fantasies that initially purported to be fears that someone will force themselves on them. It's a buffer that lets them believe they aren't having sex fantasies. Separately, a lot of trans women, while eggs, get really into forced feminization, because it creates a fantasy reality where they can explore gender with a pretense that it is being forced on them, which takes some of the shame out. (Which is not to suggest that they ought to feel shame, just that there is an unfortunate reality that many do.)

In the same way, Aziraphale wants the human romantic things, but wants to construct a fantasy where they are being forced on him by the wiley demon adversary. Aziraphale wants Crowley to tempt him. In Rome he almost instructs Crowley tempt him. He will construct elaborate damsel in distress rescues to avoid having to ask Crowley out to dinner. He will nonsensically complain about how he'll always know the stain had been there if he miracles away the paintball paint [himself], rather than ask Crowley to do it. Over and over again, Aziraphale wants Crowley to do romantic things, but his moral outlook forbids him from communicating textually that he wants them. If Crowley spontaneously does the things because Crowley intrinsically wants to do them, Aziraphale won't hold himself morally accountable for them happening, no matter how much he is hinting and insinuating. There are still hints of this in S2E5, with how Aziraphale describes Crowley, “rescuing me makes him so happy.” It’s true, but not in a vacuum the way Aziraphale implies. Crowley likes rescuing Aziraphale because Aziraphale likes to be rescued, and Aziraphale likes to pretend his desires aren’t part of that equation. Aziraphale wants to be romanced 'against his will.' Even in a fully non-sexual asexual interpretation of their relationship, this is still a CNC kink dynamic.

So, back to the real world CNC impasse, that usually is about sex, but can also be an analogy. In CNC community, there is a phenomenon where a certain kind of CNC bottom, often from a very repressed and / or religious background, is only willing to express their interest in the form of wanting a CNC top to 'do whatever they like,' with instructions along the lines of 'use me however you want.' But for a CNC top, this is a very unclear instruction. Taking pleasure from someone's body however feels good doesn't automatically entail a lot of the surrounding kink genre activities people often imagine as part of a CNC fantasy, so literally following those instructions leads to a disappointed and bored bottom.

The fantasy from the bottoms perspective is often that the top is so overcome with lust that they do all the kinky things to force their way to the conventional things. But those things aren't actually necessary though? Chucking people around, roughing them up, various implements, ect... it's a lot of work, and it's fun for how people react to it, but people usually aren't literally getting off on the labour intensive extras. It's fun, but it's honestly a more ordinary fun than people outside of that world might expect.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine one once where she said, and I quote, "I'm not a sadist, I just find it fun to hurt people." (And she found it more fun when they were attractive people.) The mental gymnastics of me trying to explain to her "that's literally what sadism is" were wild, and I have refused to let her live it down. It's also worth pointing out that amongst the top tier of serious professional kink riggers, it's pretty common for them to operate on implements / tools / toys only, and a few of the most accomplished have been widely speculated to be ace. House of Gord is the most obvious example, but I honestly get a similar vibe from The Pope. (Obviously not the one at the Vatican) (Google them at your own risk)

But back to the point, CNC bottom fantasies tend to be a universe where they get to imagine the CNC top's kinky behaviours are more driven by the direct pursuit of pleasure than they actually are, and that the top's actions are the organic result of the top's lust, that exist independently of the bottoms proclivities (which don't exist). CNC tops meanwhile (at least the ethical ones) have a particularly strong need for the rules and boundaries and wants to be really clearly and explicitly laid out, and while they might have some specific things they find intrinsically fun, they are most driven by doing what's going to work for the bottom they are working with at the time. The scenes run on the pretense that the top is a raging lust monster, masking the reality that they are delivering a tailor made performance scripted to the bottoms needs and are enjoying it more for the reactions the actions produce than the actions themselves.

To put the pressures and pretenses of the situation concisely, it is pretty common for CNC scenes to be a hypersexual bottom maintaining a performance of not having physical desires and a comparatively if not entirely ace top maintaining a pretense of being overcome by physical desires.

There are a lot of CNC bottoms who do an excellent job navigating communicating what they want, and can drop the role to present a fully thought out list of things that are ok, things that are not ok, this is how you know if somethings going wrong, here are the things that are ok specifically in this context but not in this other context, ect…, there are whole spreadsheets you can set up. It gets talked through and worked out ahead of time, and then later the act goes up.

On the other hand, there are many CNC bottoms who don't handle this well at all, because going through that process breaks the immersion of the fantasy. And if they are coming at things from the repressive background / religious trauma angle, it breaks their ability to deflect their shame about having sinful thoughts if they have to explicitly state what they want. For them, the selling point of CNC is that they get to actually believe they don't want what they want and they aren't responsible for it happening. It's not just about temporarily being that overpowered character for that time, the veil is, at least in part, permanent.

This creates kink negotiations that can end up looking like:

"What do you want me to do to you?"

"I want you to do whatever you want to me."

"Ok, but what do you want me to want to do to you?"

It can be like pulling teeth.

Even if we imagine a Good Omens universe where they don't get up to any actual kinky things, or even sexual things, Aziraphale's behaviour looks a lot like a shy CNC bottom to me. They want the top to "do whatever they want" but even if they don't admit it to themselves, they have some strong ideas about what that would entail, it's going to include some amount of a performance / custom ordered service, and they are going to need to communicate what they want that to be. And Crowley is all about delivering a performance and custom ordered acts of service, but he needs ironclad permission and clear instructions.

Crowley looks to me like a shy CNC top, who wants to be absolutely certain they aren't colouring outside the lines, (as you should be) but is presented with a prospective partner who won't drop the game long enough to communicate what he wants. Crowley will do the favors he knows for sure Aziraphale wants, and live for Aziraphale's reactions. He enjoys coming to the rescue and performing acts of service because it is a service Aziraphale wants, not because there is an intrinsic pleasure to showing up in the Bastille or walking over consecrated ground. A universe where Aziraphale doesn't want Crowley to miracle the paint off his coat is a universe in which Crowley doesn't want to do that either, he isn't going to proactively perform miracles on Aziraphale's clothes on a whim.

I similarly expect that Crowley is 100% enthusiastically down to perform any romantic or sexual act of service Aziraphale desires, specifically because Aziraphale desires it, and probably has little to no intrinsic motivation towards the physical sides of things. I think he's down to put on the character of an intrinsically motivated person, but he needs clear instructions. Consider Crowley in the audience of the 40's magic show, Aziraphale asks if anyone in the audience has experience with firearms, and everyone BUT Crowley raises their hand. He didn't have experience with firearms, so he didn't raise his hand.

Crowley can break out of literalism in a familiar situation, and we do see him take a lot of Aziraphale's hints. A big part of why I keep going back to the paintball scene is because we can observe Crowley shift from 'instructions unclear, hands off' to 'oh, he wants me to do a thing' to [dramatic romantic gesture] to [absolutely loving Aziraphale's reaction]. Just as there is no practical reason for Crowley to do the miracle rather than Aziraphale, there is no practical reason for Crowley to have to blow the paint away with a breath, he could have just finger snapped it like he usually does. But once it's clear to him that Aziraphale wants it to be a thing, Crowley goes full ham into it.

For some things they have enough established short hand to communicate through what they infer they are implying to each other. For physically romantic things though, Crowley hadn't been reading the subtext, and he had been defaulting to hands off mode. So they were stuck at an impasse, until Nina makes the subtext textual and Crowley YOLOs into the kiss. And now they are probably back to the impasse again until they can have an actual explicit, face value conversation, because even though I don't think Aziraphale meant it that way, or experienced the kiss that way, his last "I forgive you" can read to Crowley as an indication that there was a consent violation.

There is a lot of potential compatibility that is squandered by their lack of communication. They really need to sit down for a proper kink negotiation, even if it doesn't involve actual kink yet I think the format would do wonders for them.

#ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #bd/sm kink #spicy content #go spoilers #good omens meta

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