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wangxianficfinder · 8 months

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In the mood for...

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1. Tw noncon Can someone write a fic of wen Ning getting gangraped by Jin disciples in front of wen qing as revenge for what the other wens did?

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2. Can you recommend any fics with Wen Ning as a POV character?

In My Defence, I Have None (For Never Leaving Well Enough Alone) by SemiLocalCryptid (T, 73k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, Established Relationship, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, POV NHS, but only for the first chapter, POV Alternating, between Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi for the rest, WWX may have no sense of self preservation but he does have a husband, No one touches LWJ's husband, NHS has no more fucks to give and will save his brother just watch him, WN is very confused about needing to breathe again, but is ultimately happy about it, BAMF WN, WN needs a hug, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, WQ is a queen and everyone should fear her, Fluff, Inventor WWX, Gratuitous amounts of Wangxian fluff, WIP) wen ning is a pov character here

The Moon Reflected Upon Two Springs by Rubberduckieassassin (M, 2k, Post-Canon, Fierce Corpse wn, WN-centric, Farmer WN, WN Needs a Hug, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Good Kid LSZ, Good Kid LJY, Wen Remnants Mentioned, Burial Mounds Settlement Days Mentioned, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Melancholy, Building A Home, Family Feels, W>N is learning how to 'live' again)

waiting (when the colors come) by frostferox (G, 2k, WN/WWX/LWJ, Modern, realizing polyam might be an option, Domesticity, Friendship)

Granny Knows Best by The_Snarkivist (T, 5k, OYZZ/WN, JL/LSZ, Getting Together, Fluff, Accidental Elderly Acquisition, WN Centric, Let Wen Ning Be Happy Agenda, Happy Ending, fast burn, Granny does know best, POV WN, Post-Canon)

Fierce Friends by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds (G, 32k, NMJ & WN; SL & WN, NMJ & SL & WN, NMJ/LXC, SL/XXC, JC/WN, Friendship, Give Wēn Níng Friends, Cinnamon Roll WN, Rabbits, NMJ’s body does NOT cooperate, WN Centric, Everyone loves WN, Dysfunctional Family, Found Family, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Graphic Depictions of Pining, heart eyes motherfucker, WIP) it switches though

This Time With Confidence. by INSPIRETOWRITE (T, 129k, LWJ/WWX/WN, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Time Travel Fix-It, Action/Adventure, Polyamory, Developing Relationship, LWJ has feelings, Cute, Blood and Gore, Cultivation Sect Politics, Demonic Cultivation, Pining, WN-centric, Rabbits, POV Multiple, Action, War, Battle, Eventual Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, WN is a cinnamon roll, Bad-ass WN, WWX has feelings, They don't know they have the same feeling until later, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, POV WN, Slow Burn, WIP)

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3. Hello! Could I ask, for the next ITMF for fics where wwx experiences qi deviation of some kind? Thank you very much!

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

Confrontation by LtLJ (G, 21k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, discussion of a canon suicide attempt, breaks from canon during the timeskip, BAMF WWX, BAMF Everybody, Canon-Typical Violence, JC &WWX Reconciliation, BAMF NHS, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Complicated Relationships, canon-typical curses, Canon-Typical Behavior) It is part 4 of a series so it makes more sense to start with the first one which is Brotherhood

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4. CW: Trauma

Good day! I saw "Life as a house" by Terri Botta from the previous ITMF. I gave it a shot and read it, it is well written and I enjoyed the process of how they recover from their trauma, the reconciliation, and everything. For the next ITMF, do you guys know any fic that is close to this fic? Similar in terms of their journey to heal from their past/trauma, from seeing psychiatrist, discussing mental health, or about therapy. @httpskaixx

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)

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5. Want recommendations for slow burn angsty stories of wangxian

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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6. Hi! ITMF wangxian cuddle porn or just lwj being so comforting for wwx and vice versa. It would be amazing if that was incorporated in longer fics though anything would be welcomed. Something for reference is “A Cyborg's Three Laws” by FairyGardenCorgis and “try a little tenderness” by ilip13. Thank you so much!

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Former JZ/WWX, Minor NieLan, Minor XuanLi, No Powers, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good) modern!AU cuddly lwx cheering post-breakup wwx

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love) ModernAU! Soft Wangxian where they make their communication issues work

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7. Hello again! I want to ask for a itmf about powerhouse wwx, inspired from this post

More detailed: The Scene with the water ghouls, wwx proposes to jump in the water (bc hes just that strong) in combination with lwjs thoughts and competency kink? Please? I hope that was understandable, English isn‘t my first language, sorry. @desperation-is-my-middle-name

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 108k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP)

My chain hits my chest/When I’m bangin’ on the radio by x_los (T, 2k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, competence kink, YLLZ WWX)

Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Northern Ireland, fluffy but I cannot emphasise how much horror there will be, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, Case Fic, Getting Together, shifter lwj, yllz wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, playing fast and loose with canon, off-screen beloved character death, Switch wangxian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Cameos by various characters)

hills and rivers by LtLJ (T, 56k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, the family that hunts demons together stays together, and doesn’t murder each other, Case Fic, BAMF WWX, Mojo’s post)

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8. itmf some good ol' damsel in distress lwj @jawla-mukhi

silk threads and precious metal by Sevidri (M, 4k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Whump, Blood and Injury, WWX' Canonical Vengeful Streak, LWJ Makes A Beautiful Damsel in Distress, Non-Consensual Ribbon Touching, Protective wwx, Hurt LWJ)

Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mystery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Case Fic, murders, Supernatural, Angst, Fluff, those two are so in love it hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, badass LXC, Canon-Typical Violence, topLWJ, Bottom LWJ)

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9. Itmf time travel fics where Wei Wuxian is caught in a time loop reliving the Sunshot Campaign and ensuing Burial Mounds years over and over until he can save everyone? Thank you!

Karma by English is my death (Lena013) (T, 2k, JGY/XY/WWX, wangxian, LXC/JGY, XY/XXC, Time Loop, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Misfortune Fellows, JGY & WWX Friendship, JGY & XY Friendship, WWX & XY Friendship, (but they all hate each other), White-Haired WWX, But temporarily, XY is a Brat, XY Is A Little Shit, POV JGY, YLLZ WWX, Drama, Drabble, Humor, Immortal WWX, Immortal XY, Immortal JGY, These are cut pieces from their eternity together, By this point they had become insane)

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10. Hi! I was hoping you could help me bc I was on Twitter & saw someone else mention that they wanted to read it but I was hoping that you had any fics where YLLZ!WWX time travels to the future? (Possibly ends up shtupping himself along the way.) I can’t remember if there are any besides ‘a tide between two seas’ but I know that’s more multi-verse travel! @arisuamichan

不忘 | Don’t Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Reincarnation, Fix-It of Sorts, Identity Porn, Social Media, Devotion, Reunions, Feelings, Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Bondage, Names, References to Canon, Modern Era, Artist WWX, Sexual Content, Pining, POV Multiple, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

忘不了你的爱 (can’t forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending) first fic in a series

so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 115k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WN, WWX & WQ, wangxian, JYL & WWX & JC, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Canon Divergence, Literary References & Allusions, Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Private Investigators, Private Investigator WWX, Professor LWJ, Trauma, Serial Killers, Strangers to Lovers, BAMF WWX, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs Therapy, Modern Era, WIP)

atlas in his sleepin’ by anatheme (E, 48k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Reincarnation, Family Reunions, Dimension Travel, temporary transmigration, Transmigrator!LWJ, Angst with a happy ending)

drop me down to the dream below by AroPeterWam (E, 44k, wangxian, WWX & XY, Time Travel, Comfort/Angst, basically there is reincarnation and because of that WWX lives in both timelines, changes had to be made to fit this story, JC comes to terms with his emotions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Reincarnation, POV Alternating, ooc because different lives, fluff, Canon Divergence, Memory Related, explicit for like that one scene, Adopted WWX, sick WWX, Dimension Travel, Noncultivator WWX, JC & WWX Reconciliation, XY Deserves Better, time swap, WIP)

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades by Phantomhill (T, WWX & Juniors, JL/LJY, OYZZ/A-QIng, wangxian, College/University AU, Modern, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Original Character(s), Background Relationships, Murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death, the juniors are doing their best, NHS has plans, not a reincarnation fic, JYL lives, JZX lives, WIP)

worm moon by serein (E, 103k, JC/WWX/LWJ, Post-Canon, Mystery, Angst, Humor, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Identity Issues, Demonic Cultivation, eventual polyamory, Cults, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied past cannibalism, Switching, Canon-Typical Violence, Doppelganger, POV Alternating, Character Study, Explicit Sexual Content, Reverse Golden Core Reveal, mild horror elements)

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn) This is the opposite but I think OP will LOVE it

refrain; a musical phrase repeating in a song or instrumental piece Series by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T/G, 51k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Memory Loss, Canon-typical dismemberment, Post-Series, but also mid-series ya feel, Changing Tenses, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Confused WWX, Crack Treated Seriously) This is… also the opposite? Sorta? In which everyone from the future gets pulled back except for him

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11. itmf hostage!LWJ, with WWX going berserk, kinda

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire)

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12. I'm holding out serious hope for some pride and prejudice au wangxian. I don't care about setting or time period, I just want that delicious Lizzy/Darcy dynamic with LWJ being a classist dick to WWX and instead of just trying harder and harder WWX's like fuck that asshole and then then oh no, LWJ falls in love and WWX wants none of it. (I mean, I'd love a subplot where LWJ tries to talk JZX out of marrying JYL, too, but not strictly necessary). Any pics out there remotely like this? @moku-youbi

In Wanting by thaliagrayce (T, 39k, wangxian, Enemies to Lovers, Inspired by Pride and Prejudice, Miscommunication, No Sunshot Campaign, we are ignoring all of the canon political drama to substitute our own, non-graphic depictions of torture, cw: offscreen XY)

Clans and Cultivation by ChalionKat (G, 81k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, SongXiao, Regency, Pride and Prejudice Fusion)

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13. Hi! 🤗 It's me, again. 😅

For the next ITMF, lately I'm looking for fics where WWX gets pregnant of LWJ. I'd prefer not abo fics, but if there is some good, it's ok too. I love Canon Divergence fics, Cloud Recesses arc, only the bad people dies and happy endings.

Thank you so much! ❤️😊 @wangxiansgirl

Unexpected Lullaby by SilverStark (T, 30k, WangXian, Minor Original Character(s), Unplanned Pregnancy, Post-Canon, Mpreg, Non-ABO, Fluff, Established Relationship, Reconciliation, Family, Dual Cultivation Baby)

🧡 Many Lan babies Series by LuckyMoonly (Varied, 396k, WIP, WangXian, Story collection, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX only, Family Fluff, Found Family, Kid fics)

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, wangxian, canon divergence, communication, established relationship, sunshot campaign, mpreg, canon typical violence, WWX has new golden core, canonical character death, happy ending, fix-it of sorts)

🧡 Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, WangXian, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending)

And they can always check the pregnancy comps! A/B/O is always tagged, so it can be avoided!

🧡 Accidents Will Happen by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 45k WangXian, Post Canon, Mpreg, Fluff, Light angst) I'm absolutely obsessed with

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14. Hello! 👋 I just find this blog and I saw that we can ask fics. This is for In the mood for.

My favorites fics are the ones where Wwx comes back in time and fix everything, get together with Lwj soon and saves everyone. I love longer fics. Thanks ☺️

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15. For itmf I was wondering if anyone had some recs for ChengXian mpreg with WWX as the carrier. @dragonfairies

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16. Hello! For my ITMF I'm looking for a fic where wwx flinches/gets scared from the Zidian (either held my jc or yzy) and people find out about his ptsd with the whip? Just want some justice and comfort for our bb boi @mrcformoso

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 686k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) So none that I can think of exactly, but this one has some tasty, tasty justice

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17. Hey, Im looking to read a fic or 2 where WWX wasnt in control of himself during his “k ll everyone faze” after the Wens are k lled and/or when his eyes turn red. So I guess like a burial mounds possession type deal? And if WWX is like seeing it all from inside, watching as all this tragedy unfolds at what he interprets as his own hand, for spice. May I have a fic rec or as many as you can find, please? @0call-me-rin0

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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robininthelabyrinth · 2 years

Note

altheadcanon/minific concept if you're still taking them: let's say nmj did in fact want to kill jgy when he kicked him down the stairs; it was the best chance to stop the man from further evils that would ruin himself and everyone around him

“What were you thinking?” someone snapped at Nie Mingjue – in his daze, he couldn’t tell who. “You could have killed him!”

In Nie Mingjue’s mind, lost and confused and overheated, those words felt like a moment of clarity.

Killed him – yes, that was what was necessary, wasn’t it?

Jin Guangyao had not responded to his offer of brotherhood by repairing his behavior, but by worsening it, only now he had Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue to hide behind, using their respectability to further his evil deeds. If anything, now that he’d gotten so close to the approval of that odious Jin Guangshan, he was even more willing to debase himself, committing atrocity after atrocity, poisoning his own future…at this rate, he’d probably reincarnate as a toad, or an animal set for slaughter.

If Jin Guangyao was allowed to keep going, it would only be worse, for the world and for himself.

Nie Mingjue was Jin Guangyao’s older brother now. He had responsibility.

He…needed to kill him.

That was why he’d kicked him so viciously, Nie Mingjue supposed. Maybe he hadn’t realized it consciously yet, but he’d known what he needed to do. He’d known there was only one way out.

Of course, that didn’t make his actions appropriate.

No – if he was going to do this, he needed to do it right.

“Huaisang,” he said when he got home, and his little brother rushed over, frowning; he was worried over Nie Mingjue’s health again. Pointless, really. He was going to die, that much was true, but since they already knew it was going to happen, why worry? “Huaisang, forgive me. We’re going to need to go to war again.”

“To war?” Nie Huaisang frowned even more. “Against who? The Wen are all gone, aren’t they, except for the ones that were over in the Burial Mounds with Wei Wuxian…?”

“Not the Wen,” Nie Mingjue said. “Lanling Jin.”

“Lanling Jin? Why?”

Nie Mingjue haltingly explained his reasoning. Maybe in a normal moment he wouldn’t have, would have been enraged by the delay of having to use his words rather than his actions, would have simply imposed his will and moved on, but he knew, as others didn’t, how much his health was worsening; if they were going to start something like this, Nie Huaisang needed to know everything about it, because it was entirely possible that he would need to be the one to complete it.

Not to mention the fact that Nie Mingjue would be bringing the weight of their violated brotherhood oath down on his head through his actions, and that in turn would affect his reputation, his sect’s reputation, and Nie Huaisang’s reputation – that, too, would be making Nie Huaisang’s life harder. Nie Mingjue knew he had no choice but to do what he believed was right, righteousness demanded it, but it didn’t mean that there wouldn’t be consequences.

“Hmm,” Nie Huaisang said. “I have a counter-proposal.”

“What?”

“We declare war on Lanling Jin, yes, but we imprison san-ge instead of killing him. Our goal in declaring war would be to save him, not hurt him – that would avoid violating your oath. No ‘different intentions’, right?”

“I…suppose…” Nie Mingjue rubbed his temples. His head was hurting again. It always did when he thought of Jin Guangyao, these days. “You’re really all right with this?”

“I think it’s a terrible idea,” Nie Huaisang said bluntly. “But also you wouldn’t do something like declare war lightly, and also it occurs to me that if you aren’t able to lead our sect for whatever reason, the person leading the cultivation world is Jin Guangshan. Certainly I can’t stop him, Jiang-xiong can’t, and er-ge, as much as I love him…yeah, no. So I think you’re right. We’ve got to do something before that happens.”

He shrugged.

“War it is!”

(Later on, when they found out about the poisoned song, Nie Huaisang immediately claimed that he’d suspected all along and that was his real reason for agreeing to the war – opportunistic little brat!)

#mdzs #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #jin guangyao #my fic #my fics #alt headcanons #last few of these

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jingyismom · 3 years

Text

Time for more sex-cursed Lan Wangji!

a messy, self-indulgent spree imported from twt and lightly edited

explicit, wangxian, 9k, canon divergence fix-it

mild dubcon because of the nature of sex curses (but like, they do their best to communicate around it), and cw for brief thoughts of self harm, no other warnings

This curse's origin is mysterious, perhaps politically guided. Someone is trying to throttle Gusu Lan's alliance prospects by removing Lan Wangji's stellar marriageability after Sunshot. It works, after a fashion.

Wei Wuxian is in the Burial Mounds, farming and hardening his heart as the resentment worsens his health, subsisting on memories of Lan Wangji's single visit.

Lan Wangji is at home in Gusu, pining away while they rebuild the Cloud Recesses.

One day, he begins to burn up with unexplained fever.

The healers examine him quickly and thoroughly and determine first that he's been cursed. This is not entirely shocking, but it of course angers the entire sect. Next they test for the curse's nature. It turns out to be a very classic, very coarse type of love curse.

The afflicted will burn up, losing all their sense and senses, and eventually die, if their body's “needs” are not satisfied by the one it craves most.

The healers are disgusted. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren are outraged. But Lan Wangji becomes very calm at the news.

Before, he felt anxiety. The urgent desperation of a dying man waiting to be told how to live.

Now he is just waiting to die.

For you see, the choice between throwing himself at another human being—no matter who they may be—and meeting death with dignity, is an easy one.

Everyone else privy to this information disagrees. The argument that follows is short, but heated:

"Well, Wangji?" Lan Qiren begins once the initial furor has died down. "How do you wish to...go about this?"

Lan Wangji, over-warm and aching, looks up at him from the examination bed. Gusu Lan funeral rites are ancient and immutable. He does not understand the question.

Lan Qiren purses his lips and glances around. "We must find the person first," he prompts.

Ah. The person responsible. Yes, Lan Wangji does have business with them before he dies. He stands, only swaying slightly. "I am well enough to exact justice. Let us cast the rebound."

Lan Xichen steps forward then, and gently pushes him back to sitting. "It has been cast. However, justice can wait. Your health must come first."

Lan Wangji looks between his uncle, his brother, and the one doctor allowed to be present. Surely they would not be joking at a time like this.

"I do not understand," he says.

The three exchange a look. "Breaking the curse must be our priority," says Lan Xichen.

Lan Wangji is not sure he heard correctly. But it would be cruel to give him unfounded hope. "I was unaware there was another way."

"...There is not," says Lan Xichen, his gentleness unfailing.

Lan Wangji experiences a moment of deep confusion before the horror sets in.

"You cannot mean this," he says through his shock. "Surely you cannot mean to cast aside so many disciplines at the whim of a base villain."

"The disciplines are a guide," Lan Qiren says, hands behind his back, looking into the distance, "to ensure a life well-lived. They are not meant to inspire martyrdom."

Lan Wangji's mouth falls open. He stares at his uncle, mute with betrayal. He has never heard of any such leeway before, not in regards to disciplines of such a serious nature.

"You can understand, can't you?" Lan Xichen says. "That no rule is more important than your life.”

Lan Wangji disagrees vehemently. "I would not buy my life with such behavior."

Lan Qiren huffs in irritation. "We may perform a marriage in haste, if you wish."

Lan Wangji balks at him. That his uncle should speak so flippantly of...such a thing. It is unimaginable. And besides, forcing a marriage on Wei—on anyone in this way is surely only adding insult to heinous injury.

"I refuse," he says.

Lan Xichen exchanges a look with the doctor, and sits beside him. "Perhaps the other person should be allowed part of that choice."

Ridiculous. "There is no such person." Preventing this course of action is worth one lie, Lan Wangji reasons.

"With respect, Hanguang-jun, if that were true, the curse would not have been able to take hold," says the doctor.

The use of his title feels uncomfortably ironic from a woman who helped deliver him at birth. He glares at her. She smiles tiredly in return.

"Wangji," Lan Xichen says. His tone is beginning to grate on Lan Wangji's raw nerves. "You will at least try, won't you?"

Lan Wangji stares at him in disbelief, in anger, in righteous indignation.

"Never," he says.

A hand slaps his shoulder. "Apologies," says the doctor, and the world goes dark.

-----

Lan Wangji wakes to dark wood beams dappled by lacy sunlight, and a faint smell of char in the air. His head is heavy, his limbs full of lead. He swallows around the dry thickness in his throat.

"Water," comes a familiar voice.

With effort, Lan Wangji sits up. His stomach is roiling, his mind fogged from the coma and the curse both. The doctor, crouching beside him in the carriage, offers him a bowl of water.

He takes it, and asks, "What have you done?"

She sighs.

"My duty," she says, "with the help of your brother."

She draws back the curtain at the carriage entrance, revealing a sea of black, twisted trees and gray tumbled walls.

Lan Wangji's blood freezes in his veins. He just barely stops himself from asking how they knew.

"Why," he asks instead, a much safer question.

She considers him. "Your brother said if he was wrong, he would beg forgiveness afterward. But it couldn't hurt to have an expert in resentment and curses look at you anyway."

A stab of sick embarrassment makes Lan Wangji’s stomach clench.

Has he been so obvious? Is he such a lovesick fool that anyone with eyes can see his shame?

The doctor pats his shoulder gruffly and he flinches, expecting more needles.

"Ah he's your brother, he's bound to know things you don't want him to," she says. "Come on. Out you get."

He allows her to tug him out of the carriage and onto solid ground. The air is stifling with resentment, but he is glad to be free of his bonds. Now he can look for his chance to get away.

There are six Lan disciples flanking them. He eyes them warily, wondering what they know. When the doctor pulls him out of earshot, and pitches her voice low, he is satisfied that they have not been fully informed.

"Your family and I agreed to give you a chance first," she says. "You have 24 hours to take care of this yourself. After that, I will personally tell Wei-gongzi of your brother's message. I have been assured he will not jeopardize your well-being if fully-informed."

Lan Wangji gapes at her. He does not know what he expected to happen, but it was not this...this...mercenary attempt at...forcing...

The curse has weakened him such that he cannot fly his sword. He can hardly walk in a straight line, let alone run. He has very little recourse now that everyone in his life has gone absolutely mad. His heart is racing with the adrenaline of upheaval, of fear, of impending death.

He wrenches his arm from her grasp and stalks off of the road, into the brush. She calls after him, but he does not mean to escape. He cannot manage that alone. Instead, he sits. He takes a deep breath. He sinks into meditation.

"Hanguang-jun," she calls. She approaches, hands on her hips. She sighs. "Well, if it's like that, then there's nothing stopping me from telling him right now."

She turns, and Lan Wangji feels a lurch of helplessness, when a new voice rings clear through the fog.

"Tell what to whom?"

Lan Wangji's eyes snap open. Wei Wuxian is standing on the other side of the carriage, the child A-Yuan in his arms, eyeing the Lan delegation with suspicion. Wen Ning is with him, and the Lan disciples shift nervously just looking at him, but Wei Wuxian sets A-Yuan in his arms, and he leaps away up the mountain.

"Might I assume this little party has come for me?" Wei Wuxian goes on, twirling his flute. His eyes are shrewd and cold, similar to the way they had looked when he had first returned during the war.

At the sight of him, at the sound of his voice, the curse...reacts.

A horrid, uncomfortable shiver of need runs through Lan Wangji's body alongside his own simple relief and joy at seeing Wei Wuxian again, looking relatively well. He fights it, keeping still among the weeds, hoping against hope to go unnoticed.

"Yiling Laozu," the doctor greets him with a deep bow. "We have indeed come to humbly beg your aid."

"I see," he says. "And what will you give me in return?"

The doctor hesitates, clearly discomfited by the context Wei Wuxian is currently unaware of. "We may...discuss that. Once we have informed you of the details."

Wei Wuxian hums, considering. Cold. Detached. "And if I am disinclined to—"

He breaks off. The doctor has moved so that she and Lan Wangji are both in Wei Wuxian's line of sight. Lan Wangji closes his eyes rather than see the moment of recognition, rather than feel the weight of Wei Wuxian's eyes on him, like this.

"Lan Zhan?"

Lan Wangji clamps his jaw shut. It is a struggle not simply to crawl to him.

The renewed ice in Wei Wuxian's voice when next he speaks makes Lan Wangji aware of the warmth with which he had said his name. His curls his shaking hands into fists on his knees.

"What have you done to him?"

The doctor sighs. "We have done nothing. He has been cursed, which is why we brought him here. If you—"

"Daifu," Lan Wangji interrupts, his voice thin.

She stops speaking.

Lan Wangji opens his eyes, but does not look at Wei Wuxian, not yet. If he is careful, and uses his remaining strength correctly, he can perhaps...perhaps guide the situation. Toward escape. With Wei Wuxian's help.

He may have to lie to him. He hopes he will be forgiven, all things considered.

Lan Wangji stands slowly, carefully, considering each movement so as not to reveal the state he is in.

"I will speak with him," he says to the doctor.

She eyes him. "24 hours," she says.

He does not acknowledge this. He thinks they both know it will not come to that, though his idea differs greatly from hers. He judges, from the time they have allotted and his own weakness, that he has perhaps a day and a half, total, to wait them out. Doable, if he is careful and intelligent about it.

He can manage.

He walks over to Wei Wuxian, careful to keep two arm's lengths between them. This close is already too close: a fine, constant tremor has made a home in all of his tightly-locked muscles. He feels the moment his fever begins to rise further. The sides of his throat hurt, the interiors of his ears. He wonders if his hearing will go first, or his eyes.

"Allow me to explain," he says to him.

"Of course," Wei Wuxian answers.

He sounds strange. Cold, still. Lan Wangji wants to look at him, and almost slips, but manages to stop himself. He follows him up the hill, past the wards, through the resentment that clings to them both, now. He keeps his careful distance, following behind.

"What happened?" Wei Wuxian asks, as they walk.

"A curse," Lan Wangji says carefully. "Origin unknown. The rebound has been cast. I did not wish to burden you with this, but they are...they will not listen to reason. Wei Ying, if you would but help me, I would deal with this on my own."

"Oh?"

"I...wish to seek justice. They will not allow it. But you understand. If there is another path off the mountain, if you would show me the way past them, I could—"

Wei Wuxian stops dead, and Lan Wangji, with his eyes in the ground, runs into him.

For a blazing, agonizing moment, he is touching Wei Wuxian, clinging to him, every element in his body sighing and crying out at once in satisfaction, in the torturous need for more.

He tears himself away, stumbling back, almost falling. Wei Wuxian reaches out as if to catch him, but falters.

"Lan Zhan, you can hardly stand," he says, alarmed, "and you want to go and fight someone?"

Lan Wangji draws himself up taller again, trying hard to stop his shaking. He cannot look at him. He cannot look. He is already dying, now, just from not looking. "It is my right."

"...It is..." Wei Wuxian says at length, watching him closely. "And it still will be once you're well again. Your doctors really couldn't tell what type of curse it is?"

Lan Wangji says nothing, trying to think past the way every inch of his skin feels as if it is burning clean off. The pain of it screams through him, worse than anything he has ever felt. Wei Wuxian is still speaking, but it is hard to make sense of it. When Wei Wuxian begins walking again, slowly, it is all he can do to both follow and stay away from him. This, here, now, is worse than death. If it lasts, he certainly will not be sane when the end finally comes. He lets go of any thoughts of a dignified death.

Fortunately, by the time they reach the cool dark of the cave Wei Wuxian calls home, the pain has subsided to a distant roar. Unfortunately, he hoped never to reach this point. He tries his only play again, unable to think of any new tactic.

"Please show me the way off the mountain," he says without preamble.

Wei Wuxian is quiet for a beat. "You really don't want my help that much?"

Lan Wangji is so confused by this question, and then struck by the irony of it, that he almost begins to laugh. A shivery, jittery feeling fills his chest, and he leans against the nearest solid surface. He wishes he were wearing a loose outer layer over his blue travel robes, the better to hide his shaking. He does not know how to respond.

"You haven't so much as looked at me once since you got here," Wei Wuxian goes on, digging through strange pots and objects on a table, "so I get it. But you'll have to forgive me if I disregard your objection to the kind of work I do, when it comes to your life."

"My life, my life," Lan Wangji mocks, accidentally out loud. Why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with his life? He was ready to give it freely in the war, but chance let him keep it. What difference does giving it now in the name of keeping himself clean of shame make? Why will nobody allow him this choice?

"What shame?" Wei Wuxian asks.

Lan Wangji buckles at the realization that he has said all of this out loud. He goes to the floor, to his knees.

"Nothing," he says. "The shame of not having warded off such a simple attack."

"Lan Zhan...you want to die because you didn't defend against a curse you didn't know was coming?"

Lan Wangji lapses into silence. He has said too much already. He does not know how to get out of this. He can only...he can only stay quiet. Refuse to speak or move.

"Lan Zhan...I feel like I'm missing something here. I only want to help.”

Lan Wangji grits his teeth and stares hard at the floor in front of him. He has rarely ever felt so trapped, so utterly helpless. The extended, full-body pain is dulling his mind by the moment. The hems of Wei Wuxian's robes come into view, and it takes everything in him not to fall forward into him, to plead, to beg. His breath is hitching at random intervals now, his heart tripping as it prepares to fail entirely.

There is a soft gust of air, and an odd prickling sensation across his face.

"Now let's see—oh," Wei Wuxian says. "I...oh."

Lan Wangji wilts at his stilted, awkward tone. He knows now, surely. Can see him truly.

"So that's why you want to leave, and why they won't let you. They want me to find another way to break it, to stop you from...ah."

Lan Wangji sorts through the words, trying to comprehend them.

"Sorry," Wei Wuxian goes on. "I...it's unbreakable, otherwise. A very old, airtight spell. You...will Gusu Lan start a war with me if I do just let you go...ah, handle this the old-fashioned way?"

Comprehension dawns. And with it, a way out.

Lan Wangji rushes to agree. "They—" He cuts off. Will they? If they think Wei Wuxian has willingly let him die, rather than...

He takes a breath. Another. Forces his mind past the endless litany of pleas for relief.

"Show me the way " he says, his words breathless and short, "and then tell Lan-daifu what you have done. And why. But give me time to. Get away. And you will be safe."

Wei Wuxian pauses. "How...ah. How far—how much time?"

Lan Wangji tries hard to come up with an answer for that. His progress will be slow. But he need only find a place to hide.

"Half a day," he hazards.

Wei Wuxian seems to vacillate. "Are you sure you can make it on your own?"

Lan Wangji wants to rage. To weep. To curse himself to the heavens for being so depraved toward so endlessly kind a man. His heart hurts, even as his body strains toward him.

This lie may be the worst he will ever tell.

"I will be fine,” he says.

"Alright." Wei Wuxian sounds unconvinced. "I trust you."

Lan Wangji nearly convulses, holding back a sob. How will he ever be forgiven?

He cannot think of it. Only this, only what comes next. Only keeping Wei Wuxian safe from this mess.

"Lan Zhan?"

"Mn," he manages.

"Would you look at me, now? I haven't...used any demonic cultivation on you. It's safe, I promise I won't. I just. Can't we say goodbye properly?"

Lan Wangji has not moved from the floor. He does not move. He should try. A parting gift. Just one look.

But if he is going to leave. If he is going to succeed. He cannot.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says again, frustrated now.

Lan Wangji does not look. He is so close to freedom from the horrible pull, from the way his very veins are trying to tear themselves free to wrap around Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian steps forward, and Lan Wangji's breath leaves him all at once. Suddenly, there are fingers beneath his jaw, kind but firm, tilting his chin up. He has no choice but to look.

(Inspired by this art.)

Wei Wuxian is there. Tall and strong and perfect, tiredness mixed with something bittersweet on his lovely face. Lan Wangji's entire being melts toward him, a deep, sharp tug from inside his bones, a mindless, helpless, straining need that pushes a low, wanting sound from his throat.

Wei Wuxian snatches his hand away and backs up half a step, staring at him.

"Sorry," he says, blank. Confused. "I thought it was...I didn't realize...sorry."

Lan Wangji, now that he has looked, cannot look away. He has overbalanced without Wei Wuxian's support, fallen forward onto his hands, but he cannot stop looking at him. He will look at him, and keep looking; he prays Wei Wuxian is the last thing he sees before he dies.

The most shameful part of this is that none of it is the curse twisting his thoughts. None of this is. All the curse is doing is making the way he always feels impossible to ignore.

"Wei Ying," his voice implores. He does not mean it to.

Wei Wuxian takes another step back and looks down at the bowl of powder in his hand, confused. "I was certain it was that curse," he says to himself. "If I was wrong, then maybe I could break it..."

Lan Wangji tries to scrape his composure back together. He tries. He tries. His fingers scrape on the rough stone floor. He does not reach out for him. That is something.

Wei Wuxian looks at him again, then hastily away. Lan Wangji does not ever want to know what it is he sees.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, as Lan Wangji shakes, and shakes. "Where...where were you trying to go? I thought you...I thought you were, ah, thinking of a certain someone."

Lan Wangji's arms are weak. They are going to give out. He cannot answer him.

"I'm confused, and I...may have made a mistake," Wei Wuxian goes on, still backing away slowly, "but I just want to help. Can you tell me what was happening before, and what's happening now?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head, and the motion shatters his fragile balance. He falls, and curls tightly around himself in the dirt.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian says, suddenly close.

Lan Wangji sees his hand reach out, then pause, and he can't stop himself from taking hold of it, just to be touching him. His body screams for it, and he gasps raggedly at the contact.

Wei Wuxian wrenches his arm free. Lan Wangji wishes he were dead.

"Fuck," Wei Wuxian mutters to himself. "I...I'm sorry. I made this so much worse, I..."

"No," Lan Wangji rasps. He cannot hear Wei Wuxian berate himself thus. His dignity has now died, and he himself will soon follow. This is all that matters. "Not your fault."

Wei Wuxian huffs, crouching beside him. "It is...at least partially my fault, at this point, I'm pretty sure. You wouldn't be...reacting. Like this. If it weren't. Is...can I...do a few more tests? To check what I got wrong, and maybe—"

"You were not wrong."

He does not mean to say it.

His need to reassure has overridden his sense, and his mind is too slow now to piece together what it will mean before it leaves his mouth. The regret once it does is instantaneous. He tries to curl himself yet smaller in the dirt.

Wei Wuxian is silent. Lan Wangji cannot stop making small, pitiful, pained sounds in the back of his throat. Everything hurts. Everything.

"I don't understand," Wei Wuxian says quietly.

Lan Wangji lies shivering on the floor, arms locked around himself to prevent any more untoward behavior. He cannot take it back. He cannot try to explain. There is nothing he could say, regardless.

"Lan Zhan...but you..."

He can hear Wei Wuxian thinking, but it only registers in the far back of his mind. The rest of his consciousness is taken up by pain, and by ruthless restraint.

"You wanted to leave to get away from me," Wei Wuxian says, finally.

Lan Wangji does not answer. He wishes he had his sword. He would use it now to end this.

Wei Wuxian begins to back away again, and Lan Wangji’s body moves without his permission. He grips the skirt of Wei Wuxian’s robes in his fist and drags himself closer, pressing his cheek to Wei Wuxian's knee.

Shameful. Wanton. The small part of himself that is still aware berates the action. But he cannot let go. He cannot move away. The only part of him that is not howling with pain is the side of his face pressed to coarse fabric.

"Lan Zhan, you…," Wei Wuxian is trying to gently pry Lan Wangji's fingers from his hem. "You wanted to leave, remember? You don't want...you don't."

"Want," Lan Wangji croaks, pressing closer. "Wanted to spare you."

"Ah, Lan Zhan...I...I'm still not sure it's that specific curse, it could...there could be other..."

"It is," Lan Wangji says, half-crawling up Wei Wuxian's leg. He wants to stop himself. It is impossible.

"Lan Zhan...you...you shouldn't—"

"Stop me," Lan Wangji pleads, nuzzling against Wei Wuxian's thigh, "Wei Ying, I can't...please. Stop me."

There is a long near-silence filled with harsh breaths, in which Lan Wangji is almost certain he imagines the light touch of fingers brushing his mussed hair back from his forehead. Then Wei Wuxian speaks.

"No," he says. "You'll die, if I do. Lan Zhan. I won't let that happen."

He touches Lan Wangji's face. Lan Wangji whimpers into him.

He knows this will break the fragile repairs they have made to their friendship. He will likely never see him again, at least not on good terms. The thought makes him feel ill. He should protest. Refuse. Flee. He can do exactly none of these things. He reaches for Wei Wuxian's wrist, to hold his hand to his face, but Wei Wuxian flinches away.

"You can't...Lan Zhan. I'm going to help you," he says, "but you have to...you can't...you can't touch me."

Lan Wangji feels another tight clench of shame. He nods against his leg. He understands: he knows any small part of this is too much to ask, let alone bearing his unwelcome, curse-fevered grasping.

"Okay," says Wei Wuxian. He slides his fingers beneath Lan Wangji’s chin again, tipping his face up.

He looks so uncertain. So beautiful in the dim light. Lan Wangji wants to weep with it.

"Lan Zhan, I know it doesn't count for much like this, but you have to tell me. You have to tell me what you need."

Lan Wangji turns his head, pressing his face between Wei Wuxian's thigh and stomach, trying to reach into him, to feel more of him, to stop hurting just enough to think. It does not work.

"You," he breathes, into the scent of earth, and stringent soap, and Wei Wuxian.

A harsh, uneven breath ghosts across his hair, and Wei Wuxian's hands grip his shoulders. He thinks he is about to be pushed away again, but instead Wei Wuxian pulls him up, pulls him close, folds him into his embrace.

Lan Wangji sobs into his shoulder, trying at once to get closer and to hold himself apart, instinct demanding, even now, that he try to conceal his obvious, disgraceful hardness. His muscles quake under the strain of doing both and neither, and Wei Wuxian smooths one hand down his back, pressing him close, pressing them flush. Lan Wangji chokes back a shocked sound.

"Shh," Wei Wuxian soothes. "It's alright."

It is not alright. It is the end of the thing Lan Wangji holds most dear.

But he does not have it in him to argue. He is shifting against him, his overheated body begging for touch, indeed for ravishment. He is mindless with it. The pain is not subsiding but slipping sideways into something more, something different, something necessary.

He is on his knees on hard stone, breathlessly held in the arms of his beloved. He has dreamt this: sweetly, hazily, with and without hope. But never like this. Never sick with remorse, with need, dying and demanding and defiling. His deepest desire twisted into a nightmare.

He whimpers again, his lips finding the soft coolness of Wei Wuxian's throat. Wei Wuxian jerks away again, and Lan Wangji fists his hands tighter at his sides, trying, trying not to overstep again.

"I—sorry," he gasps out. He will never be able to apologize enough. But he will try.

"Don't apologize," says Wei Wuxian. "I—"

He cuts himself off. Lan Wangji does not have enough sense to wonder why. In the same moment, one of his thighs gives under the strain, and he falls against him heavily. They tip over, to the floor, and he reaches out on instinct to brace them both. When he is again conscious of himself, Wei Wuxian is lying on top of him, breathing hard, both of Lan Wangji's wrists pinned to the floor in one hand. Lan Wangji arches against him inadvertently, and turns his face into his own bicep.

"Sorry, I...so sorry," he pants, his hips flexing, searching for friction. "I have...no control...”

"I know," Wei Wuxian says, "I know, I shouldn't have..." he swallows hard. "I'm going to keep you like this. Can I?"

Lan Wangji nods frantically, his eyes shut tight. He does not care. Anything that he can do to make this any less invasive for Wei Wuxian, he will do.

Wei Wuxian pulls away then, his hold still firm on Lan Wangji's wrists. Lan Wangji squeezes his eyes shut and tries to stop moving, to stop searching for touch, to stop making such a disgusting spectacle of himself, but to no avail. What feels like centuries later, he hears the telltale sounds of talisman activation. He is too far gone in his pain to look up, to see what they are. He simply lies there, pinned and writhing, his breath catching in his throat. The sounds it makes are small, pitiful, desperate.

Just like him.

Eventually, Wei Wuxian leans back over him, a considering look in his eye. His hand hovers at Lan Wangjis belt.

"I—should I..."

"Yes," pleads Lan Wangji.

He needs Wei Wuxian's skin on his skin. He does not know how discerning the curse is about what happens now, but it feels as if he will die without it. Wei Wuxian takes what looks like a fortifying breath and unties the belt. Lan Wangji, unable to help, instead hinders the process with his ceaseless movement. But Wei Wuxian manages it with deft hands, and immediately unties each layer of robes in quick succession until Lan Wangji’s chest and stomach are bare.

The cool air of the cave does not soothe his burning. It burns like ice instead. Lan Wangji shivers, an ugly whine escaping him.

"What," Wei Wuxian asks, pausing, "what is it?"

Lan Wangji shakes his head. He will bear it. He will not make demands.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, "you need to talk to me, I...I don't want to make this even worse, or, or draw it out longer."

Something small and dark crumples in Lan Wangji's chest. He does not want that either. He will need to speak. To ask.

"Hurts," he says, rough and thick.

"Where?"

"...Not...not touching me."

Wei Wuxian makes a distressed noise and lays both his palms flat over Lan Wangji's ribs. Lan Wangji groans, pressing up into them.

"Please," he whispers, helpless. "Please."

"Oh, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian murmurs, something sad like regret. He leans closer and slides one hand down. Lan Wangji shudders under him. "I'm just going to..."

Lan Wangji nods again, holding his breath to stop the whines from escaping the back of his throat.

Wei Wuxian unties Lan Wangji's trousers and slips his hand inside. Clever fingers wrap hesitantly around him, and he bucks up into them with an obscene moan. It is minor relief from the most consuming pain he has ever felt, and it is simultaneously the most intense pleasure he has ever experienced. All of these sensations, coexisting in his fallible human body, feel likely to rip him apart.

"Wei Ying," he moans again, when Wei Wuxian moves his hand.

He gasps for air, his body twisting into it, his whole being searching for Wei Wuxian. He makes another piteous sound, the torment of it all overwhelming. Wei Wuxian leans down against him then, his own robes open, pressing them skin to skin.

Lan Wangji sobs. It is something. It is something. The pain abates somewhat, and he sighs, turning toward him, his mouth brushing Wei Wuxian's hair. He has the wherewithal now to fight the urge to kiss his head properly, his face, anything he can reach. He holds himself still beneath him instead. And Wei Wuxian touches him, and touches him. The incomprehensible pleasure builds, and builds, until Lan Wangji cannot breathe. But it does not break.

Something almost like soft lips brushes his throat.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says into his ear, "this, is this...will this be enough?"

The pleasure is just another kind of pain, now. Lan Wangji shakes his head as sweat rolls off of him, as he tries and fails to get enough air to speak.

Wei Wuxian clears his throat. "What, then?"

Lan Wangji's body knows what it needs. But he does not want to tell.

"Come on, Lan Zhan, after all this? Don't get shy on me now."

He misses the joking tone he is aiming for, but the pure, unmistakable Wei Wuxian-ness of the tease sends a surge of genuine desire through Lan Wangji. He wraps his legs around Wei Wuxian's hips and pulls him down. Wei Wuxian breathes in sharply.

"You just...you want...but only..."

"Please," says Lan Wangji, barely voiced. "In—" he cannot say it. "Please."

"Ah," Wei Wuxian whispers, into his skin. "If—are you sure?"

Lan Wangji whines. He wishes he were not so very sure. He wishes he were not asking Wei Wuxian to do something so intimate, so extreme. He wishes Wei Wuxian had let him die before it ever came to this.

"Alright Lan Zhan, just hold—hold on," he says, and is gone.

Lan Wangji clamps his mouth shut on a scream as the agony slams back into him, worse even than before.

Not soon enough, Wei Wuxian returns to divest him of his boots, socks and trousers. Lan Wangji fights him without meaning to, trying to keep his knees curled up to his chest, trying to minimize the hurt. Wei Wuxian is briskly patient, handling him with aching care he does not deserve.

And then he is upon him, chest and stomach, hips and thighs, smooth and hard and exquisite. Lan Wangji almost forgets the pain in the rush of gratitude, of solace. Their robes trail off them both, gathering dust as they move together in halting fits and starts.

"Don't let me hurt you, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian grits out, a strong hand lifting one of Lan Wangji's thighs by the back of the knee.

It is nonsense. He could not hurt Lan Wangji any more than this. And Lan Wangji could not stop him now if he did.

But the kindness. Even in this. Tears prick at Lan Wangji's eyes. He will miss him. He will miss all of Wei Wuxian with all of himself. He will never stop missing him. He will never move past this regret as long as he lives. How could he? Every breath he draws will be by the grace of Wei Wuxian.

Suddenly there is slick pressure against him, against his most private of places, and he gasps, loud and wretched. Wei Wuxian exhales, uneven and deep, and pushes in, in, in. Slowly. So slowly. Lan Wangji bites down hard on his lip to keep from begging for it. His arms are pinned, as are his hips, Wei Wuxian holding him steady, holding him still. Lan Wangji loses all sense. There is only the weight of Wei Wuxian, the full, stinging press of him, the searing pain, the devastating euphoria of being this close, and yet so very far in every way that counts.

Ages pass before Wei Wuxian is fully seated inside him. By then Lan Wangji's breaths are wet and shallow; scraping, desolate things. He does not know any longer what hurts and what feels good. It is all one and the same. He only knows he needs more, in some primal, wordless way.

He asks with the arch of his back, the squeeze of his thighs. He tries, somehow, to keep quiet, but fails more often than not.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says tightly, "try to relax, I'm going to move. Tell me if it...if it's right."

Lan Wangji manages a loose nod, though he barely understands.

And Wei Wuxian moves. He rolls his hips against him, shifting inside of him, and Lan Wangji groans. Each deep, short thrust pushes air from his lungs, and he lacks the strength to catch it again. It is beyond pleasure. It is ecstatic. To have Wei Wuxian around him, inside him, panting above him. A deep, villainous part of him wants it never to end. The rest of him howls for release.

He is dripping now, steadily, onto his own stomach. He can feel it pooling on his belly, unpleasantly cool. He whimpers between desperate, panting breaths, beyond words.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, breath shivering across Lan Wangji's collarbone, "I can't...can't keep this up, you feel too—" his breath catches, and he pauses. "I'm going to finish. You need to come."

Dimly, distantly, the idea that Wei Wuxian should derive pleasure from this, no matter how perfunctory, gives Lan Wangji a perverse sort of satisfaction. It snuffs out like a candle at the nebulous thought that perhaps in another world, they could have had this for real.

In this world, the fact remains that this has gone on far too long. But Lan Wangji can do nothing about it. He meets Wei Wuxian's thrusts, leans into the pleasure, tries to gain the momentum to go over the edge. He should be able to. It should be easy. He has been so hard for so long, has been given more now than in his absolute wildest and wettest of dreams, and yet he hovers, scant inches away.

Wei Wuxian loses patience, his head dropping to Lan Wangji's shoulder. He grunts softly and fists Lan Wangji's wet cock, quick and merciless. Lan Wangji cries out, shuddering violently with the extended, expansive stimulation, worked both inside and out, helplessly, utterly unmade by Wei Wuxian's touch.

And still he does not crest. He is sobbing steadily now, ugly and jagged, and Wei Wuxian kisses his shoulder, his throat, his cheek.

"Were we wrong?" He asks, breathless. "Lan Zhan please, tell—show me, I...I can't...you...I can't lose you. Lan Zhan?"

Exhausted, Lan Wangji turns his tearstained face toward him, blindly seeking. Perhaps they were all wrong. Perhaps he will die now, like this. And perhaps it is selfish of him, but having heard those words, he finds his regret to be less than it should be. Everything, everything hurts. But Wei Wuxian will miss him, too. Of course he will. They are zhiji. This, miraculously, will not erase that. It is more than he deserves. Wei Wuxian has always been more than he deserves.

Lan Wangji heaves, and writhes, and cries.

Wei Wuxian kisses him. Soft, gloriously cool lips on his.

An odd, fleeting, hollow feeling.

The dam breaks. The pain goes suddenly quiet. Roaring to fullness in its absence is the killing swell of such a long-delayed climax. It is possible that he calls Wei Wuxian's name. It is impossible to know.

The world, again, goes dark.

-----

Lan Wangji wakes to gray light and distant birdsong. A sharp edge is digging into his shoulder. He shifts, then goes still at the deep ache in his entire body.

He remembers.

"Hanguang-jun should drink this," says a brisk voice to his right.

Wen Qing sits there, watching him. His heart skips a beat and he looks down. But he is fully clothed once more.

Her smile is wry as she holds a cup out to him. Laboriously, he sits up to take it. It is bitter, but familiar. A restorative. He thanks her formally.

She shakes her head. "No need.” She turns to go.

"Wen-guniang," Lan Wangji says. She pauses. "How long has it been gone?"

She turns to stare at him. He knows she knows what he means.

"How? When?"

She looks away. "You'll have to ask him."

The pang of loss he felt upon waking with Wei Wuxian gone speaks for him. "Will he let me?"

He lies on the slab of rock that serves as Wei Wuxian's bed for too long. It is difficult to tell the passage of time in the Burial Mounds, but it seems slightly brighter than it had...before. He reasons that it could well be the next morning. He wonders if Wei Wuxian slept beside him, then tosses the thought away as gross indulgence. He wonders instead, as he has many times since his last visit, if Wei Wuxian sleeps at all.

First, his excuse to tarry is meditation. He works at it, simultaneously restoring his drained core and healing himself, until the discomfort fades from his every movement to just a specific few.

Once that is done, he has no reason to be idle. But the voice in his head, Wei Wuxian's blisteringly cold one that had called him his proper name all those months ago, keeps him in place. He hears it saying all manner of things in response to seeing him now.

"What more could you possibly want of me?" Wei Wuxian sneers in his mind. And he would be right to do so.

But Lan Wangji does not intend to ask anything of him ever again.

And there is the other thing. The fact that his robes should be uncomfortable, filthy, but they have been cleaned, dried, and arranged back onto his body properly. Comfortably. Almost as if—

He dares not imagine. But at the very least it does not speak of utter contempt.

So he rises. He follows the path Wen Qing told him of. And he does something foolish. He hopes.

After no short while of walking, he comes to a slightly darker, more silent corner of deadened forest. He rounds a bend and sees Wei Wuxian crouched a little ways off, and then hears high, lilting notes as if through water. The energies are strange here, and Wei Wuxian is speaking to with them in their own language.

Lan Wangji approaches until he sees Wei Wuxian go still. He says nothing. Wei Wuxian drops his flute from his lips.

"Are you well?" He asks without rising or turning.

"I am."

Wei Wuxian nods. "Your people are waiting for you."

It is a dismissal. Lan Wangji recognizes this. But he will impose just a little bit longer.

"Your core," he says. Wei Wuxian stands abruptly, still facing away, gripping Chenqing. "Can it be replaced?"

Wei Wuxian whirls to face him, anger and fear warring with the questions on his face.

Lan Wangji has other questions, too. But they do not matter. He is intelligent enough to piece together the cold, empty space where Wei Wuxian's core should be, the tired guilt on Wen Qing's face, and...

"Your scar," he says, dropping his gaze to the scorched earth.

He should not know of it. But he does, now, and he also owes a greater debt than he can ever repay. Wei Wuxian does not respond. How dearly Lan Wangji wants to see his expression. But he will not infringe on any more of his privacy.

The wind howls. He waits.

"You won't tell anybody," Wei Wuxian says uncertainly.

Lan Wangji stiffens. "I will not."

"Nobody told you?"

"Nobody.”

Wei Wuxian pauses, momentarily satisfied.

"You're not going to ask how? Or when?"

Lan Wangji would like to. He would like to know everything of Wei Wuxian, even his sorrow, his pain. But he is not entitled to those things. There is only one point that matters.

"Can it be replaced? Can the procedure be reversed?"

Wei Wuxian sighs. Lan Wangji can tell he does not wish to speak of this.

"So single-minded, Lan Zhan," he scolds, then shakes his head. "The chance of success would be small; the chance of finding a donor, much smaller."

But this is all Lan Wangji hoped to hear. It is enough. He goes to his knees, arms circled in front of his chest.

"Allow me," he says.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian darts forward, trying to pull Lan Wangji up from the ground. Eventually he gives up and goes to his knees in front of him, pushing at his arms. "Lan Zhan, stop this," he says, panicked. "Don't be stupid, stop—Lan Zhan, you can't be serious."

"Please allow me," Lan Wangji repeats, eyes downcast.

"Stop this!" Wei Wuxian shouts. "It can't be done, and I wouldn't take it from you anyway!"

Lan Wangji flinches bodily. He had not considered...but yes. Everything in him is sullied. He bends at the waist, bowing further.

"Apologies for the offense," he says, then snaps his mouth shut. His voice is too obviously strained.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian says, still alarmed.

Lan Wangji needs to leave. He has already overstayed. But he...he has not tried hard enough.

"This debt is too great to repay in one lifetime," he says. "Please inform this one of what he may do to begin."

Wei Wuxian sags, dragging one of Lan Wangji's wrists with him. "Lan Zhan, there is no debt between us."

Lan Wangji only just stops himself from glancing up. He does not understand.

"I owe you my life and more," he says. "You took great pains to save me, even as the situation proved me unworthy of it. I owe—"

"You owe me nothing," Wei Wuxian insists, shaking Lan Wangji's arm. "There were no great pains. Nobody is unworthy. Well...you aren't."

Lan Wangji opens his mouth to protest, but Wei Wuxian speaks over him.

"People have...desires, Lan Zhan. There's nothing unworthy about it."

"But you—"

"Stop," he says. He sounds so, so tired. "If you hadn't been...dying. If we—" He stops. "Just keep my secret," he says, and lets go of his wrist. "And live well."

Lan Wangji closes his eyes. The thought of going back to his home, his life, after this, had not yet occurred to him. It sinks him from his knees to the ground. How can he do this? How can he leave him this way?

"Wei Ying," he pleads. "I must...I must do something. I cannot...I..."

"Why, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian asks, not unkindly. "You have responsibilities. People to protect, just like me. Live well, and count things even between us. Why not?"

Lan Wangji’s chest caves in. He does not make the sound clawing up his throat.

"You...truly, you must know why," he says. "After... you must know. I would not leave you in need. I could not."

"Ah, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says sadly. He shuffles forward. Lan Wangji startles at the feel of fingertips on his cheek. "You're too good. But all I need is," he huffs, "political asylum for me and 40 friends? It's not your burden."

Suddenly yet slowly, like the first burst of sunrise, an idea reveals itself on the horizon of Lan Wangji’s mind. It is unorthodox. And likely unwelcome. But it is all he has.

"My uncle made a suggestion," he says. "When my affliction became known. It is true that he did not know what it would mean, but I would hold him to it. If it is not...hateful, to you."

"I don't know what you mean," Wei Wuxian says warily.

Lan Wangji steels himself. "You are perceived as the head of a sect. A proper alliance could protect your people, and Gusu Lan is in need of hands for rebuilding. The person who cast this curse upon me has given the perfect excuse, and made themselves scapegoat. If you would...I would not ask anything of you, if you agreed. It would be a marriage in name only, as you wish it."

Wei Wuxian's silence turns to spluttering. "M—Lan Zh—marriage?? What—how—"

"If the idea is odious, I will not mention it again. But as I said. My uncle suggested it. And under the circumstances, he cannot refuse."

"Your—he—Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, look at me. Look at me, please."

Lan Wangji looks at him. His eyes are wide. Disbelieving. Concerned.

"Your uncle would qi deviate if you even hinted at such a thing," he says. "Gusu Lan is in a precarious enough position, you don't need...I have nothing to offer in return." He pats his lower stomach, empty of spiritual energy, emphatically. “Nothing. Don't be ridiculous."

"It is not ridiculous," Lan Wangji argues, certain now that he is right. "You can offer more protection for us, and we can offer legitimacy. The person who cast this curse can be seen to have forced our hands. Has—has forced our hands."

He stops himself. He should not push this. Wei Wuxian is looking at him as if he does not know him.

"You don't want to marry me, Lan Zhan."

This gives Lan Wangji pause. It is a confusing objection, to say the least. He stares, trying to comprehend. He clears his throat. Takes a breath.

"If you are under the impression..." he stops. Drops his eyes once more. "...that the...impetus of the curse. Is the whole of the way I—”

"Demonic cultivation," Wei Wuxian interrupts. "It would be unhealthy. For you. And your elders! They wouldn't let me, not if I were...attached to your sect. To you.”

A fair concern, and one Lan Wangji has been turning over in his own mind as well. "Is this your only objection?"

Wei Wuxian casts about. "Ah..."

Lan Wangji takes one last plunge. "The elders can be reasoned with, compromises can be made. I am not concerned for my health: being near you could never be harmful to me." He hears himself, then, and amends, "Though you need not. Be near me. That is not a condition."

"You would defend this?" Wei Wuxian asks, bemused.

"Defend what?"

"My cultivation path. You..."

Lan Wangji resists a sigh. "I understand the reason, now. And I believe...if you did not object. We could work toward making it safe, without stripping you of what your hard work has created."

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. He reaches out, then stops.

Lan Wangji stares at his hand, hovering between them. His heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his eyes, in his tongue.

"Wei Ying."

"You would let me, though?"

His tone is gently mocking. His head is cocked to the side, the edge of a smile playing across his lips. It knocks the breath from Lan Wangji's chest.

"Let you?" He asks, dazed.

"Be near you."

Lan Wangji's heart stops. It is a moment before he can respond.

"I would. Always."

Wei Wuxian takes his hand, and sighs. "You don't owe me this," he says again.

"I do," Lan Wangji counters, off-kilter. "I owe you. And I want to. I would want to, even if—"

He loosens his tight grip on Wei Wuxian's hand. He is saying too much, taking too much, being too much. He settles himself. Finds the words that matter.

"It would be a thing happily given, with no strings attached, should you wish it."

Wei Wuxian laughs strangely. "Lan Zhan, you really..." He shakes his head. "I'd marry you in an instant, you know," says.

Lan Wangji's neck hurts from the speed with which he looks up at him. Hope, warm and liquid, blooms through his limbs.

"But I can't make this decision on my own," Wei Wuxian goes on. "It's not just my life. We have to talk it over with everyone."

"Yes," Lan Wangji says, surprised, and eager now that he sees the possibility of success. Of doing something of use.

"Alright," says Wei Wuxian, a smile hidden in the corner of his mouth. "I can't promise...but it...it could work."

"It will," Lan Wangji says, certain that the strength of his conviction alone will carry them through if need be.

He feels strange and dreamlike, confused but heartened by the turn in this conversation. That Wei Wuxian can stand the sight of him, let alone wish to ally with him personally, seems too wonderful to be true. Another Wei Wuxian hallmark.

"But Lan Zhan, no more talk of strings," Wei Wuxian says.

Lan Wangji sobers and nods. It is unseemly. Of course their understanding must be a tacit one, now.

But his hand is suddenly in both of Wei Wuxian's.

"You need to stop feeling guilty," Wei Wuxian says, looking down at it. "If I were your husband...if I were. We could try all that again, but without the impending doom. We could try it again any way we like, any time—all the time—and we'd—"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupts, strangled. His heart is in his throat. He cannot comprehend what he is hearing. His ears, his face, are on fire.

Wei Wuxian smiles down at their hands, one part shy, one part mischief. "I think we could get really good at it, if we had the chance, don't you?"

Lan Wangji stares at him. "You..."

"Mn," says Wei Wuxian, meeting his eyes.

He shines so bright, even without any core to speak of. He takes Lan Wangji's breath away.

"I take it back," Wei Wuxian says, his voice suddenly urgent. "I like strings. Mine is that if this happens, I want to be your real husband. In name, in practice, in bed, and in your heart. Because you would be, in mine."

Lan Wangji's voice sticks in his throat. He feels...he feels unreal. He does not know what to do, to say. Perhaps they never broke the curse at all and he has simply gone mad. But Wei Wuxian's fingers stroking his palm, the root-knotted dirt beneath his shins, are real. He sways, unbalanced.

Wei Wuxian reaches out. Catches him. Folds him into his arms for a second time. Lan Wangji's breath shudders out of him.

He is on his knees, breathlessly held in the arms of his beloved. He has dreamt this many ways. But never has it been so real, so full of hope. He wraps his arms around Wei Wuxian in turn, buries his face in his shoulder.

Wei Wuxian huffs. "Jiang Cheng is going to be so angry."

Lan Wangji comes back down to earth. It is true he had not thought of this. He makes to pull away. "How should—"

Wei Wuxian clutches him tighter. "I don't care," he says, "I don't care, we can manage him." He pauses, then speaks more softly. "Maybe...I could see shijie's wedding after all. Or—no. It's too soon, I—"

"Yes," says Lan Wangji. "You will. We will go together."

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath, and lets it out into Lan Wangji's hair.

"Together," he says.

It takes several serious, and at times uncomfortable, discussions, but in the end, Gusu Lan’s Second Jade is indeed thoroughly removed from the marriage pool of the great sects. The curse caster is found and punished. And everybody else lives happily ever after.

The end.

-----

(Thank you for coming on this wildly self-indulgent journey, I hope you enjoyed it. If you’d like to read some actually nicely-polished, fleshed-out fics by me—including another sex-cursed LWJ—check out my AO3.)

#my fic #mdzsnet #the untamed fanfic #theuntameddaily #bottom lan wangji #that tag just...has to go there bc i know people actually find things through it #on tumblr??? you ask #yes my friends evidently #anyway here's...this #angst that morphs suddenly into the MOST indulgent of fix-its #does it have a consistent tone??? is it Good??? who knows. unimportant #is it not enough to simply tweet 9 thousand words in 3 days and then yeet it at your tumblr followers too #this isn't FOR a literary award....it's for melodrmatic wangxian Feels and nothing else #i hope you enjoy it!!!! <3

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 16, part two

(Masterpost of All the Rewatches) (Previous Post) (Canary’s Pinboard of Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes

Just A Box of Rain

The brothers find Jiang Yanli and tell her what happened. Pro Tip: a good way to deliver bad news is like this. 1. say "I have bad news" so the person can be prepared for a shock 2. clearly state the bad news.

Standing in front of the person with tears streaming down your face and looking away when they try to meet your eyes is not, actually, a super effective method for delivering bad news.

This episode continues to be punctuated by closeups of characters' hands as they respond to events.

Yanli clutches her broken lotus pendant, cutting her palm and bleeding as she weeps.

Not-at-all symbolic rain drenches the three of them while they cry, standing apart and not comforting each other.

Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep You think that you're gonna drown Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep With all this rain falling down

(more after the cut)

They upgrade their boat with repaired seats and a real oar, and move along toward a hopefully-safer location.

The scenery continues to be gorgeous, and it appears to be actually really raining on this river or lake. We see Wei Wuxian's hand on the boat's oar as he takes his siblings to what he hopes will be safety.

Maybe you're tired and broken Your tongue is twisted with words half spoken

OP is valiantly resisting dropping a chunk of "Don't Pay the Ferryman" lyrics in here, because projecting European symbolism onto Chinese media is not my bag. This scene does carry a lot of weight, though, showing Wei Wuxian’s sadness and isolation, his ever-growing distance from his siblings and reminding us of his servant status. While his siblings sit under shelter with tears falling down their faces, Wei Wuxian stands in the rain, laboring to protect them and not letting his own tears fall.

It's totally reasonable that Wei Wuxian is the one to man the oar, right? I'm sure Jiang Cheng is the more exhausted of the two of them even though Wei Wuxian started off his day yesterday getting whipped FIVE times by the Zidian and ended it by being choked for 45 seconds.

Self-Isolation

They reach an inn, where Yanli has a fever, maybe from being left outside all night while her brothers failed to work out any of their interpersonal shit, followed by getting extremely rained on for hours and hours.

Wei Wuxian carefully puts on a bright, optimistic face for her, practicing for his future fake happiness after the Burial Mounds.

Jiang Cheng sits and has a lot of feelings, totally not helping while Wei Wuxian tends to Yanli. This is not typical of him and just shows how deeply shocked he is by what's happened; usually he is extremely attentive to Yanli and careful with her health.

Wei Wuxian tries to get Jiang Cheng's attention, so that Jiang Cheng can take over caring for Yanli while Wei Wuxian gets medicine. Jiang Cheng is busy staring into the middle distance, and won't respond.

This is Wei Wuxian realizing that absolutely nobody is going to help him.

Wei Wuxian goes out in his distinctive robes with no hood or anything, to buy some fever medicine, and is quickly surrounded by guards. They hear "we caught him" and run off, leaving him be.

What Wei Wuxian doesn't know, that we learn in Episode 50, is that Jiang Cheng and his death wish decided to take a stroll, and seeing the Wen soldiers approach Wei Wuxian finally snapped him out of his reverie. So he let himself be caught in order to draw them away from Wei Wuxian.

Let's talk about this choice. In terms of clan roles, Wei Wuxian is absolutely the expendable one. Jiang Cheng became the clan leader when his father died, and knew it from the moment he saw his father's body.

So far he's 1. Tried to go back to fight and die, against his parents' express instructions 2. left his sister alone in an inn with a fever 3. given himself up to be killed in place of his chief disciple, when it's his disciples' job to die for him, if it comes to that. All but two of Clan Yao's disciples died to protect fucking Captain Blowhard, for goodness sake.

All of these actions are emotionally super understandable; he's young, he's had a terrible shock, and he's an emotional guy who's never heard of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. And I'm not here to defend feudal power structures. But perhaps Jiang Cheng shouldn't ring the "YOU PROMISED" bell quite so loud in the future, considering his own relationship to his obligations.

Wei Wuxian begs Yanli to stay put and stay safe while he goes to find Jiang Cheng, and he promises to take Jiang Cheng back from the Wens. Yanli clutches his hands and asks him to promise again that he will rescue their brother, and that they will all go to Meishan together. But for once Wei Wuxian is completely honest, and disentangles his hands and sets off without another word.

More running ensues, this time in the rain. To quote Adam in Season 7 Episode 1 of Spooks, "all this traumatized running is starting to really annoy me." (Spooks is the shit. Don't watch it if you like characters to have a lifespan longer than a mayfly's)

Camera Operator: Finally, a little appreciation

Wei Wuxian arrives in Lotus Pier, and can we just take a second to appreciate the decor of this place? Look at that tile floor with the cobblestone border, and the bamboo wall panel behind him.

He grabs the first Wen he finds, who turns out to be a much-needed friend.

Rescue Me

The Untamed is the tale of a man’s devotion; devotion so strong it transcends clan allegiance and even death. And that man’s name is Wen Ning.

Initially Wei Wuxian chokes him, like bros do, until he recognizes him and lets him go...

...only to immediately grab him and demand to know if he had a part in the massacre. Wen Ning stays pretty calm, seeing the angry side of Wei Wuxian for the first time, and explains that he heard about what happened, and is there to help.

Wei Wuxian absorbs this and lets him go, giving us a closeup of their hands together, with Wen Ning not so much resisting Wei Wuxian's grip as giving a steadying grip of his own to his best friend.

Wen Ning, who Wei Wuxian saved from one water demon, has already saved Wei Wuxian from one horrifying animatronic dog, and does not actually owe him a life debt at this point. Wen Ning has defied his sister and his entire clan and flown to Lotus Pier with a team of minions, with the specific intent of fucking things up for Wen Chao to the best of his abilities, simply because "Wei Wuxian is a nice person."

Wei Wuxian isn't feeling like a nice person just now, however, thinking that he can use Wen Ning as a hostage to...what, trade for his brother? Wen Chao would probably be happy to kill Wen Ning himself, but his dad needs Wen Ning as a way to control Wen Qing, so maybe that plan would work.

Then Wei Wuxian sees this small pouch hanging from Wen Ning's belt, and it stops him in his tracks.

For once we are not given a flashback to explain his thinking, so I’ll provide one

The talisman he gave Wen Ning to protect him, now protects him from Wei Wuxian himself. He lets Wen Ning's arm go, and tries to think of another plan.

Wen Ning already has another plan, and has come to Lotus Pier prepared to enact it.

Wei Wuxian can't believe he's found someone to help him. In a moment of wrenching vulnerability, he asks Wen Ning to save Jiang Cheng and to retrieve the bodies of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. Wen Ning immediately agrees.

Wen Ning then embarks upon the least sneaky sabotage campaign of all time, chatting to the guards while messing with the wine, and generally acting like a person who is up to something.

Nobody respects him enough to worry about it, though, and the party proceeds as planned.

The banquet is set up in the cleaned-up courtyard of Lotus Pier The Yunmeng Supervisory Office, and features dancing girls performing in the center of the beautiful carved paving, and corpses hanging in the doorway.

I bet Jin Guangyao hires this same dance troupe for his future parties.

Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao sit at the main table, snuggling and being gross, but mercifully not necking on-camera because this is a 100% no-necking show. The drinks are sent around and Wen Chao tells Wen Zhuliu to drink up.

Wen Zhuliu is busy gazing wistfully at Yu Ziyuan's corpse.

Let's face it, Wen Zhuliu is the only dangerous person in this place at the moment, so what he does next is the make-or-break for Wen Ning’s plan.

Wen Zhuliu smells his wine and immediately can tell something is wrong. He takes a long moment to consider the situation, eyes on Yu Ziyuan, and then downs it, letting his emotions--perhaps something in the neighborhood of remorse, perhaps simple disgust at his craven supervisor--get the better of him.

In the morning he will be able to tell Wen Chao with 100% precision exactly what the drug is, probably from smelling it right here. This is the only miscalculation Wen Zhuliu makes in the whole show, and it eventually costs him his life.

Wen Zhuliu has no reason to think this decision will hurt him. It's definitely impossible for Jiang Cheng, whipped and crushed, to avenge himself and his parents. But Jiang Cheng, with Wei Wuxian’s help, is going to achieve the impossible.

We end with Wei Wuxian hiding while he waits for Wen Ning, as strung out as we have seen him so far, although he's got worse mental states ahead of him on his journey. He doesn't know yet if he was right to trust Wen Ning, and the episode ends with him, cold, wet, and miserable, waiting to find out.

Next Episode: Still miserable, but with a cape! Soundtrack: 1. Patty Griffin, Rain 2. Grateful Dead, Box of Rain

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #rain #moar rain

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madtomedgar · 4 years

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Sizhui as narrative foil for Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang

The narrative, and imo the fandom, tend to point to Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang’s objectively horrible and traumatic early lives as explanations for why they are Like That, and then point to Wei Wuxian as proof that you can be disadvantaged and have a rough early life and still come out ok (is Wei Wuxian ok? signs point to no but that’s not really relevant here). And while Wei Wuxian is meant to be a foil for these two, I think Sizhui is a better one.

Like Xue Yang and (arguably, but probably) Jin Guangyao, Wen Yuan’s very early childhood is defined by violence and deprivation. He and his birth parents are turned into puppets when he’s around 1. His village is rounded up and taken to a prison camp, possibly moved to a different prison camp, when he’s between 2 and 3. At some point in there, his birth parents are killed, along with his sister. The prison camp he’s rescued from is defined by a regimen of violence, brutality, and neglect. There’s not enough food, and people are regularly beaten, used as archery targets, used as live bait, and killed with impunity. From here he goes to the Burial Mounds, where there is never enough food, the environment is hostile, there are no other children for him to play with (big developmental no-no), and, while everyone loves a-Yuan, two of his primary caretakers are a volatile alcoholic and a very sick zombie who occasionally goes on rampages. I’m not saying that Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning did not love and cherish and nurture a-Yuan. They definitely did. But I speak from experience when I say that alcoholic caretakers who are not handling their mental health issues well are not great for little kids. After a year or two of this, his entire family, everyone he knows, is again killed, after they abandon him in a cave. He is rescued by the last surviving person he’ll recognize, and then that person is promptly forbidden from seeing him for three years.

A-Yuan has the classic foster child early childhood cocktail of repeated abandonment, deprivation, violence, upheaval, and loss. Like Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao, his adverse early childhood experiences could fill a book. These are the kinds of things that cause major attachment issues, destructive behavior, and self-sabotage in any and all relationships. And we can see that manifesting in Xue Yang and in Jin Guangyao (and Wei Wuxian). But we don’t see that in Lan Sizhui. Why?

Because instead of being dumped on the streets of Yiling to fend for himself, or given conditional places based on his ability to be useful while being scorned for who he is, or being taken into a household where only one adult actually wants him there and used as a weapon in an ongoing marital dispute, Wen Yuan is (I’m extrapolating based on the little Sizhui says about this) raised communally with the other Lan war orphans in a very different way.

He’s given all the things he needs for survival with no scarcity, food, water, warm clothes, a house, medicine, a healthy environment, and no strings. He’s given a large and friendly peer group of other children who don’t look down on him and aren’t pitted against him for him to learn from, bond with, and grow with. He’s given a place that is so unconditional that it would never occur to anyone to question whether or not Lan Sizhui belong in Cloud Recesses or deserves his headband or is a “real” Lan. He’s given a headband of a full Lan, which is the biggest affirmation that he is family and has family and belongs here. He’s given security and love and patience, and the special attention and guidance of Lan Wangji. He’s given a wonderful support network in the form of Lan Jingyi, who can and will cut you if you come after Lan Sizhui, Lan Wangji, who is “like a father and an older brother” to him, the bunnies, presumably the rest of the Lan juniors and sect members, probably even Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen.

And a support network is the thing that often makes or breaks a trauma survivor.

So instead of growing up cold, reactive, defensive, violent, jealous, etc. Lan Sizhui grows up to be a confident, kind, and compassionate person. And while I think it’s cheap to say that the juniors are the hope at the end of the narrative, I think one could argue that the similarities between Sizhui’s beginning and Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang’s, and the differences in their endings are the lesson and the hope at the end.

#untamed stuff #the untamed #lan sizhui #jin guangyao #xue yang #madtom attempts litcrit

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yiling · 4 years

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Untamed rewatch episode 6

-DRUNK PARTY TIME. I love nhs doing the secret knock with the fan that’s so fun

-“hey I’m adorable” true

-why are their robes hung up over the windows? to hide their illicit behavior? cute

-aw the talisman. hate this so much, NOT cute

-lwj is ridiculously adorable when he fixes his headband, when i first watched that’s when I started actually liking him as a character and not just a foil to wwx

-“girls won’t like you” “that’s fine” he’s gay dude

-the flashback to wwx’s parents is... ;_; (wonder if the donkey actor is the same)

-first mention of nmj, there’s demon shit happening in Quinghe

-lxc looks so amused when lqr says wwx is mischievous because of his mom. I wonder how much of that history he knows.

-skdjfg wwx complaining about getting hit until he sees lwj being all stoic and then tries to copy him aww

-lxc is so nice. and he does know about cangse sanren, at least a little! man I wanna hear more

-wait does wq send information to wrh in the form of a rhyming poem?? incredible

-wwx’s flirting is so obvious, I can’t believe he didn’t know what he was doing at least a little, even if it was in a “there’s no way he’ll like me back so it’s Just For A Joke” way

-the cave set is very cool and pretty!!

-I love that lwj can stop sound with his sword. definitely how that works

-BUNNIESSSSSSSSSS

-the shot with the ribbon is so pretty. it’s funny that this happens so early on though - cql really changes up the dynamic of their relationship a lot by putting this scene here

-wtf is with floating iTunes visualizer lan zhan, it never happens again? I guess he’s just supposed to be entraining to lan yi’s guqin for the first time, but he never uses this particular instrument again. (Also why are there seagull sounds in the background?)

-hey this is the first time we actually see inquiry technically - the guqin sounds and lwj recognizes it’s lan yi. I wonder what she says, lwj doesn’t translate it.

-kind of not a fan of yanli being in delicate health, it’s stereotypical. do very much enjoy her exasperated expression when jc says he’ll break wwx’s legs when they find him

-lan yi time!! I love how weird she is, she barely says anything at first, she just pets her bunnies

-I hate xue chonghai as a device, the yin iron is okay for kicking off the plot though. it does dumb the plot down, but that’s typical for adaptions. I do kind of like how it ties together the wen, the murder turtle, and the burial mounds, though.

-I do also like the idea that the burial mounds were once lush and beautiful, I don’t know if that’s in the novel.

-also like the parallel between lan yi and wwx, even if so little is done with it. it seems that bssr and lan yi has a relationship sort of like wangxian post-sunshot and pre-yiling patriarch. the “let me help you” “no, i can handle this on my own, i’ll make my own path” thing. :(

-baoshen sanren hot

-lesbians

-watching lan yi slowly and painfully play the guqin is. oof. where is her movie I ask?????

-unironically though, would watch the fuck out of that

#cql #the untamed #untamed rewatch liveblog #mine #cql is like you can have a few extra female characters. as a treat.#and then does Very Little with them

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year

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Fic Finder

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1. Hello, I’m trying to find two fics that I read but can’t seem to find again

A) is the lan juniors mad at LWJ because they saw him being a women into his room and thought he was cheating on WWX.

B) is the one I don’t remember much of but the main plot was the lan family (LWJ,LXC,LQR) sticking up for WWX about the abuse he faces. I know it had jiang sect bashing, even for Fengmian & yanli, it was modern au I’m pretty sure and the Lan sect was like A hospital or rehabilitation center I don’t remember. I remember it ends with WWX leaving the jiang household when he married LWJ. I think wen qinq and wen ning made appearances too.

1A)

FOUND? was the woman actually wwx? If so could be A Flower in Bloom (or Wei Wuxian Crashes a Party) by UmbrellaMartialGod (E, 30k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Crossdressing, Humor, Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, Festivals, Dancer WWX, Insecurity, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings, mild possessive behavior)

I don't remember the name, but could it be the fic where lz and wwx stumble upon an unknown abandoned temple on a nighthunt, and end up getting a blessing from a god (initially mistaken as a curse?) That turns wwx into a woman temporarily so that they can have a kid together, and the god liked to do this for married gay couples. But then jc and jl see them in caiyi (haven't talked to wwx in months) and get mad cause think lz has a mistress and is disrespecting wwx?

FOUND? In Sickness and In Health (And In Strange and Unexpected Times Too) by purplemonster (E, 28k, WangXian, Fem!WWX, Mpreg, well technically not mpreg since he’s a woman, Fluff and Smut)

1B)

FOUND? To Speak Up by Vrishchika (M, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Not JC Friendly)

FOUND? Step by step by apathyinreverie (T, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, JFM and YZY Bashing, not particularly Jiang family friendly, Guilt, Fluff, past angst, Flashbacks, Protective LWJ, Soft WWX, adorable a-yuan, Friendship, Family, Getting Together, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff)

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2. Hiiiiii thanks for everything you do ✨✨ I’m looking for a fic where LWJ is an angel and WWX was his partner but he is believed to be dead (after a mission??) but he is actually in the burial mounds with (WN and WQ??) and A-Yuan and he give him his « light » to save him??? Also something is trying to kill him or the wen. It’s a bit confusing I’m sorry can you help ??? 🥺✨ @ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan

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3. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where wwx is a ghost and lwj moves into his house, wwx doesn't expect to be seen or heard so he starts normal haunting routine just to find out lwj CAN see and hear him bc family affinity, they end up falling in love but one day his ghost gets yoinked out of the house bc he actually wasn't dead, just in a coma? Does someone know which one this is? I have searched here but there are so many ghost and ghost related fics I can't find this one 😭

FOUND? one good thing by Yuu_chi (T, 26k, wangian, modern, ghost wwx, fluff & angst, happy ending, alarming number of rabbits, Podfic available)

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4. Hi! I am looking for a WangXian fic on AO3 that (honestly I don't remember much because I read it a long time ago) but it was a gathering of some sort and wei wuxian wasn't feeling that well ( u know when his magic is on edge), and something triggered it to go haywire so he started to run but like it had already gotten out of control n everyone was watching him in pain, trying to control, n how Lan zhan helped him. @nisooom

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5. Hello! Thank you for all your hard work! Currently on the hunt for a fic where wangxian are in a marriage of convenience but lan zhan loses his memory sort of (after surgery?) and after he goes back they start an actual marrisge and wwx is really happy about it but is also lying because they weren't doing all the coupley things before.@wryamihere

FOUND! voidable by sarahyyy (M, 2k, wangxian, modern, amnesia, misunderstandings, love confessions)

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6. Hi! Thank you for all your hard work!! I've been searching for MONTHS for a fic that follows the general first scenes of WWX's resurrection, except because LWJ is so quick to bring him back to Gusu, he assumes LWJ and MXY were secret lovers? Or assumes that LWJ likes him, and has to wrestle with what that means to him? If anyone knows this story, I am BEGGING for the link :'D

FOUND? Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

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7. Hello, please help me find this fic??

I only remember this one scene: WWX is thought to be dead i think? (It's after the events of the attack of the Cloud Recesses) LXC is saved by Wen Sibs while running away and meets the hiding WWX. After a few weeks/months both join the SS campaign with the head of WZL and WC.

FOUND! Light Source by abCEE (M, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, not Jiang friendly, fall of lotus pier, no golden core transfer, sunshot campaign, established relationship, canon-typical violence, medical inaccuracies, no demonic cultivation, accidental baby acquisition)

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8. Hello! I dont know if I should label this as fic finder or ITMF or maybe both. its a fic where lwj and lxc compete for wwx's heart. i know that ive read one like this but i cant find it anymore [its a series where wwx died right, then when he came back, lxc said to lwj that if wwx chose him before, lxc will stand beside him (talking about the siege)]

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9. hello, i'm looking for an Avatar: The Last Airbender AU wangxian fic where LWJ is a fire bender and WWX is an air bender. LWJ can't properly control his fire bending causing him to hurt anyone who touches him and made touch-starved.

FOUND? Brightly Burning by Netrixie (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, No Yin Iron, Touch-Starved, Tiny Angst, Slow Burn, Pre-Relationship, LXC is a good big bro, Element control, [PODFIC] Brightly Burning by Netrixie by kealdrakemna)

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10. Hey again! I'm trying to find this fic from AO3, it's basically a Leverage AU where WWX and JC are/were hitmen (WWX is retired) who work for an organization headed by Madame Yu that uses a restaurant as a front. LXC and LWJ are thieves that were taught by their mother. LWJ and WWX are dating and they both think that the other has a perfectly normal life and job. LWJ pulls a heist on Wen Pharma and Wen Chao goes and kidnaps him in retaliation, then Wen Xu shows up and freaks out at him for Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze rescued LXC and LWJ's mother from whatever the AU version of her situation was (LWJ & LXC grew up on the run and separate from the Lan Family) -sorry for bothering you again and for the really long ask @aro-ace-from-outer-space22

FOUND! all the problems we could solve by Stratisphyre (T, 20k, wangxian, modern, getting together, fluff, humor, violence, meet-cute, identity porn, thieves au)

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11. Hello...I apologize for bothering you again. Please help me find this fic?

I think it may be a part of a series? In the fic WWX finds out that he has relatives from his father's side. Goes to meet them w/ LWJ. They are married I think? WCZ is the youngest of three sons. WangXian meet with WWX's grandmother and two uncles and cousins. Turns out they are famous and wealthy merchant family. WCZ left them to be a cultivator when he was a teen. They send so many things to Gusu after WangXian return home. And stop trading with Yunmeng or/and Lanling I think? @tinyfoxpeach

FOUND! Keep Holding On by abCEE (M, 316k, JC & WWX & JYL, wangxian, canon divergence, role reversal, YLLZ JYL, yunmeng sibling dynamics, good uncle LQR, sunshot campaign, PTSD, established relationship, angst w/ happy ending) wangxian meet wwx's family somewhere late in the fic and it's few chapters about it

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12. I am looking for a specific fic, where Wangxian time travel and it causes everyone else to become suspicious of their new found power and closeness. this leads to Jin Guangshan using a magical ball to spy on them, but it just turns out to be Wangxian acting all domestic and some hair brushing issues, until eventually Wei Ying catches onto the presence of the spy ball and ends the recording. I think there was some Lan Xichen POV about how he can't really read his brother anymore. please help.

FOUND? lan xichen is very concerned (and confused) by theninjacat (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Sunshot Campaign)

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13. hello!! for the next fic finder, this is going to sound very weird but i have no idea where ive read this, all i remember is that it was jc pov's and it was very short(?), but i can be wrong. it started with jc waking up in cloud recess with something wet in his face, when he looks to the side, it was wwx's blood. after time traveling to the past, wwx decides to k1ll himself right there. its very morbid, i think? thank you <33

FOUND? could be this AngstyMDZSThoughts post

Just a side note for 13 please don't censor trigger words because folks who have those words filtered out will not be able to block them

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14. Hi! I was hoping you all could help me find this fic. I've been looking for days with no luck. The only thing I remember is that Wei Wuxian designed a tool for Jiang Yanli, possibly a hairpin or other headpiece, that utilized her energy so that she slowed down or froze fierce corpses. I think she uses it at one point when on a hunt with Jin Zixuan. WWX may have designed and created other tools in the fic as well. Thanks for any help! @lunathehungry

FOUND? Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken) by TheDefenestrator (T, 74k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Slow Burn, Happy Ending)

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15. Hello again. I’m hoping to find a fic of someone transmigrating into Yu Ziyuan. WWX calls her “Spirit Auntie” and she works to help him overcome his fear of dogs by getting him a bunny named “Dog” and a puppy named “Bunny”. If it was deleted then, oh well. Thank you for helping anyway. @gwencaer

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16. hello im trying to look for a fic where wwx created a talisman that summons his sword to him? iirc he tested it with jyl. that's about all i remember tho. thank you for your help!

hello im #16 on the latest ff and i do vaguely remember wwx creating barriers for each sect? i think it was by runes or stones he carved on? but tbh with you, im not sure it's in the same fic i was asking about 😭 inventor wwx sounds about right, tho i did wonder if it was a time travel fic too. thank you for your help so far

I don't remember what fic 16 is exactly, but I know the scene OP is talking about and have extended info! The reason Wwx was making a spell to summon swords was initially to retrieve Su She's sword from the waterborne abyss, and it was later used to retrieve some of the swords for everyone trapped in the xuanwu cave! Was this also the fic wwx created barriers for all of the sects as some kind of reparation?? It was definitely not a time travel fic, but inventor wwx fic

I don't recall if #16 sword summoning talisman is part of the turtle shield inventor WWX one, but as I also can't recall the title/author, here's more details on the turtle shield inventor one: I'm pretty sure it's madam yu/JC critical, WWX gets named Turtle Lord or something for his shields, LZ gave WWX the special jade he needed to make the shield and then Madam Yu ordered him to give it to JC. I think LZ gave his CR token to WWX so he could create another shield...

no that's definitely a different fic I remember turtle shield fic much more clearly and it didn't have that. I meant barriers to protect the Sect strongholds, using a series of nodes at points using the sects' insignia as a map/blueprint, not individual shields for a person

FOUND? The Communication Effect by draechaeli (M, 187k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, MM/WQ, canon divergence, arranged marriage, no golden core transfer, not everyone dies au, wens live, adoption, pregnancy kink, consensual non-con, light bondage, fix-it)

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17. For the next fic finder - I'm looking for a fic where LZ (unintentionally) was harming wwx (I think mostly by reputation - maybe for seemingly being promiscuous or disparaging his demonic cultivation?) and NHS yelled at him. I wish I remember more but at this time I think i've mixed it up with like 4 wildly different fics. I mostly just remember writing the review that I was pleased someone had finally clued LZ to the harm he was doing and that I was excited to see him try to fix it. Thanks! @math-is-magic

NOT FOUND! Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, WangXian, NHS & WWX, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Inventor WWX, Found Family, Mentioned Character Death, Alcohol, Protective NHS, WangXian Endgame, Not JC Friendly, Not particularly gentry sects friendly overall tbh)

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18. hello! I’m looking for a WIP, abo, royalty au fic where the main pairing was lsz/jl with background emperor!lwj/empress!wwx. the summary was that o!jin ling had been warned away by jc from the royal fam his entire life bc of empress!wwx’s supposed role in jyl’s death, but, when he goes to the capital, meets and starts falling in love with a!prince!lan sizhui (to his own displeasure). in one scene, jl is going through his heat, lsz smells him and drops his sword running away. wwx and lwj had three kids, and one of the later chapters revealed that wwx was pregnant again. i’m pretty sure it’s been deleted/hidden bc it doesn’t come up in any of the relevant tags, but I’d be deeply grateful if someone has a link to it on the way back machine or something similar. thank you for your help!

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19. Hi, looking for the fic where LZ and WY are in college. Lan Zhan is engaged to Jin Zixuan, Wei Ying valets at a party at the Jins. He helps a drunk LZ who was attending it drive home and things develop from there. They don't know each other personally but do after that night. I read this fic once couple of yrs ago, can't seem to find it again. Pls help, thanks!

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20. For fic finder: It was set in canon era, WangXian. Golden cores were literal orb-like jewels that could be cut out of a cultivator’s chest, thus creating the opportunity for an illegal poaching trade. There was a scene where Wen Chao gleefully cut out Jiang Cheng’s, and I think he also took Wuxian’s. During the Sunshot Campaign when JC and LWJ get their swords back they also find the room of stolen cores, and are shocked to find WWX’s. Anyone know this one? Please!

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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robininthelabyrinth · 2 years

Text

Discordant Rhapsody - ao3 - Chapter 10

“– absolutely ridiculous. They’ve been talking for three days!” Wei Wuxian was saying loudly when Lan Qiren returned to his quarters. “What could they possibly still have left to discuss? I know your family have a lot of rules, Lan Zhan, but surely everyone here already knows them by heart!”

Wei Wuxian sounded spirited and lively, Lan Qiren noted. He sounded almost like he had when he’d been a visiting student, before the war.

It was a vast improvement over his behavior at the Burial Mounds, alternatively arrogant and impetuous, then cold and ruthlessly indifferent. How much of that behavior had been genuine, whether stemming from the trauma of war or his demonic cultivation, and how much was an act designed to repel unwanted outsiders, Lan Qiren did not know and doubted he ever would, but he was pleased that Wei Wuxian felt comfortable enough in the Cloud Recesses – and with Lan Wangji – to relax enough to be himself.

He supposed he was, anyway. Everything felt very distant at the moment, as if he were observing his own emotions rather than feeling them. It was almost as if he were separated from the entire world, locked into seclusion, only the seclusion was within his own body. He had felt that way before a few times, disconnected and disinterested – He Kexin’s trial, his father’s death, Cangse Sanren’s, Lao Nie’s – and although he knew it was likely unhealthy, it was very helpful in ensuring that he got done what needed to get done instead of wasting time reacting to things.

As he should now.

“The rules have many permutations,” Lan Qiren said, stepping into the room. “But not as many as life itself. The application of the rules in any given circumstances is therefore a matter subject to debate.”

“Teacher Lan!”

“Shufu.”

“Qiren-xiong!”

Lan Qiren blinked, somehow not having expected the rush of noise that greeted him. It was the same group that he’d dispersed before he went to speak with Lan Xichen: Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Lan Yueheng; even Wen Qing was there, with Wen Ning hovering unobtrusively in the corner trying to make tea with stiff fingers.

“Ah,” he said. “You’re all here.”

“And you’re in shock,” Wen Qing said, coming forward with a frown to grab rather rudely at his wrist. Doctors were the same no matter where they went, Lan Qiren supposed, and permitted it, less out of a desire to be treated than lack of energy to get into another fight. With the exception of the first night, where Lan Xichen had insisted that Lan Qiren see the doctors in order to be pointlessly harangued for nearly half a shichen about how he couldn’t just go running around putting himself in danger given his ill health and then shouted at for the next half after he’d politely declined their recommendation that he be confined to bedrest for the next four days on account of his need to meet with the sect elders the following morning, Lan Qiren had been tremendously busy. He’d been arguing and negotiating more or less ever since, from morning to night; he’d returned to his quarters precisely in time to prepare for sleep, leaving no time to talk with anyone, and departed again first thing in the morning – if it hadn’t been for their family rules, the others probably would have insisted on staying in the meeting hall non-stop. “What’s wrong with your sect? Don’t they know that your health is poor?”

They were aware. If they hadn’t been aware, they certainly were now – it had been one of the factors at stake while they’d tried to decide on what would be an appropriate punishment for him, something that would both serve to appease the Jin sect’s demands for justice and appropriately serve as consequence for his behavior, since Lan Qiren was unwilling to repent of his behavior or disclaim what he’d done.

Or at least, that was what they were supposed to have been deciding. Lan Xichen had been right that the sect’s internal divisions had been aggravated by his actions and that Lan Qiren’s long-standing opponents within the sect were seeking to take advantage of this mistake to get back for wrongs they believed had been done to them, no matter how much the rules counseled do not mix private and public interests. There were those who hated him personally, those to whom his lingering presence was an obstacle to the influence they hoped to have over Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, those who were simply opportunists…and, as Lan Xichen had also noted, there were those that would normally have been on Lan Qiren’s side, whether through habit or aligned interests, yet who were appalled by what they saw as the commonality between Lan Qiren’s actions and those of his brother’s all those years before.

He still had his supporters, of course, which included not least of all Lan Xichen as sect leader. He had himself, with his deep knowledge of the rules and the reputation he had built over decades, and if his tongue was still slow and his voice monotonous, then he had at least learned how to be eloquent and persuasive – he had done what he could to blunt the rage of his sect members and turn at least some of them to his side, and manage the objections of the rest. He hadn’t been sect leader for so many years for nothing.

Even with conduct as foolish as his had been, it had been very hard for them to pin him down.

The only thing that had given Lan Qiren pause was the accusation that he had weakened their sect at a time when they needed to be strong, bringing them shame instead of glory, and in doing so had hurt Lan Xichen, who was sworn brothers to one of the Jin sect and whose reputation would be harmed by the dispute.

His opponents had seized upon that unwise pause at once.

That had been when it had gone wrong, he supposed. If Lan Qiren hadn’t hesitated, tripped up by too much love for his nephew, or if Lan Xichen had stood up and unflinchingly defied them for Lan Qiren’s sake at that time, defying his own inclination towards peace in favor of assertiveness, things might have been different. But Lan Xichen had hesitated, too, perhaps thinking of his sworn brother, and then there had been no stopping it; it had all gone rather badly after that.

Lan Qiren hoped that he hadn’t just ruined Lan Xichen’s friendship with Jin Guangyao.

Poor Lan Xichen had been so horrified when he’d realized what he’d inadvertently allowed to happen, mere moments after the mistake had been made, but by then it was too late – the other side had the momentum, and they were running with it as far as they could, pressing their advantage.

It wasn’t that they didn’t have a point, of course. The whole problem was that they had a very good point. The Lan sect was depending on Jin sect for funds to assist in rebuilding, one of Lan Xichen’s decisions that Lan Qiren had disagreed with and disapproved of but which he had ultimately acquiesced to, wanting to respect Lan Xichen’s autonomy as sect leader; failing to respect and preserve that relationship now, in the middle of construction, could be a big problem if it meant that that flow of gold suddenly stopped. They had other financial sources, of course, but having chosen not to depend on them in the beginning would make it tricky to go back to them now.

Therefore, his enemies said, savagely wolfish in their victory, seeking to hide their anger behind pretty words, it was essential that they impose a punishment severe enough that the Jin sect be properly appeased. Not that Lan Qiren thought Jin Guangshan could be appeased, especially if his goal was to weaken the other sects, their own included, and potentially also deal with Wei Wuxian’s unorthodoxy, but that obviously wasn’t his opponents’ real goal either. To them, it must have seemed like a perfect victory: they’d be able to shut Jin Guangshan up, firmly reestablish the Lan sect’s sterling reputation for unhesitating justice throughout the cultivation world, and take Lan Qiren down at the same time.

The rules said do not take advantage of your position to oppress others. If only it were that easy!

When it had been his turn, Lan Qiren had used his position as sect leader to impose his view of what his sect ought to be like – to enforce the rules strictly, to require all to act ethically, to dispense with the unnecessary – and in doing so he had trampled on the contrary wills of others in his sect, using their failings to his advantage. Now that he had erred in turn, they were all too eager to get their own back, and without the full-throated support of his sect leader, hamstrung as he was by his own nature and his own choices, there was nothing he could say about it that would not be hypocritical.

Still, it hadn’t all been worthless. He’d at least been able to negotiate his punishment down to something he was willing to accept…

Lan Qiren hoped Lan Xichen would forgive him for having accepted it.

His nephew had been furious at himself for having hesitated, furious (however incorrectly) at Jin Guangyao for having inspired that hesitation, furious at the other sect elders for having proposed the punishment at all, and that fury had turned onto Lan Qiren when he’d first indicated that he was inclined to accept the resolution. Lan Xichen had wanted to keep fighting; he had even been on the verge of using his position as sect leader to defy the elders and refuse the selected punishment absolutely. But bitter experience had taught Lan Qiren that such disrespect by Lan Xichen to his elders would poison the well for the future – they wouldn’t forget what had happened, and they wouldn’t forgive, either. That, in turn, would mean that Lan Xichen would find it harder to implement whatever future plans he wished to put in place as a result.

Lan Qiren, far too familiar with that struggle, hadn’t wanted that for him.

He was the one in the wrong, in his sect’s eyes, and even in his own. The burden should fall upon him.

He’d accepted that from the start.

And so he had quietly overruled Lan Xichen’s objections and accepted the punishment that had been proposed, rendering it final through his acceptance. He had observed as his allies’ faces turned green with regret and even his enemies seemed uncertain and shocked, as if they’d profaned their family rules by proposing a punishment beyond what they thought would be acceptable merely as a negotiating tactic…but it was too late now for remorse.

For them, or for him.

“– a normal symptom of shock,” Wen Qing said, putting a hot cup of tea into his hand and doing something or another to the meridian closest to his elbow, jerking Lan Qiren out of his temporary stupor and back into awareness. “He’s more prone to succumbing to shocks like this, given his weak circulation, not to mention weak lungs – it’s too easy for him to have problems breathing, and that spurs on the rest.”

“There is nothing wrong with me at the moment,” Lan Qiren said.

Wen Qing huffed disdainfully, and everyone else around him looked skeptical as well. “Whatever you say, Teacher Lan. You still shouldn’t be up at all hours arguing. Hasn’t anyone told you that emotional strain is a danger to you?”

“At length.” It wasn’t the only danger facing his health now. “However, I wasn’t up ‘at all hours’. I slept and rose at the typical times for my sect. The exhaustion is purely mental, not physical. I do not require the assistance of a doctor.”

Wen Qing threw up her hands, clearly despairing of him. “Fine! Have it your way.”

“See, I told you he’d be fine,” Wei Wuxian said to Lan Yueheng, his voice almost forcefully bright as if he thought he could make things actually be all right through willpower alone. “You’ve been hovering around a storm-crow, looking all bleak and mournful, just worrying Lan Zhan for no reason!”

Lan Yueheng ignored him in favor of looking anxiously at Lan Qiren, and, yes, he did rather resemble a bird, although Lan Qiren probably would have compared him to an anxious pigeon. “Qiren-xiong, has the sect made a decision? What have they decided?”

Lan Qiren looked at the room around him. Wen Qing was muttering angrily under her breath about the wretchedness of stubborn old men, bad patients one and all, as Wen Ning tried to convince her to calm down with offers of tea, while standing behind Lan Yueheng, Lan Wangji had drawn close to Wei Wuxian with an expression on his face that could indeed be described as worry. Perhaps over Wei Wuxian’s fate?

Well, that was at least something Lan Qiren could help with.

“The sect decided not to override my decision regarding taking Wei Wuxian as a disciple,” he said, trying to assuage their concerns, but instead Wei Wuxian only scowled.

“Was that an option?” he asked. “I didn’t think you could force someone to reject a disciple they’d already accepted."

"They cannot,” Lan Wangji said. He still looked worried. “But they can strongly recommend it.”

“They can threaten to throw Qiren-xiong out of the sect if he doesn’t,” Lan Yueheng clarified, and Wei Wuxian looked alarmed, as did the Wen siblings.

“That is not at issue,” Lan Qiren said sternly. “I remain a member of the Lan sect.”

“You mean it was possible? Teacher Lan, you didn’t say – mmpf!”

Wei Wuxian reached up to his mouth with an expression of annoyance. Not that it would him any good, since Lan Qiren had silenced him.

“You are my disciple,” Lan Qiren told him. “If you do nothing else, you will at least show me sufficient respect to be quiet when I am speaking.”

Wei Wuxian looked mulish.

“I made the decision to take you as a disciple,” Lan Qiren reminded him. “The rules say maintain your own discipline. I am responsible for my own conduct, and for the risks that I am willing to take.”

It did not change Wei Wuxian’s expression. Nor did Lan Wangji, standing next to him, look any less worried.

“Shufu,” he said. “What did the sect decide? Will you have to face punishment for taking Wei Ying as a disciple?”

“Not for the act of taking a disciple in itself, which is not contrary to the rules – the rule do not take disciples without careful screening cannot said to have been breached when I am in fact highly familiar with Wei Wuxian’s qualifications, both positive and negative,” Lan Qiren said, taking refuge in the familiarity of pedagogy, treating his own case as if it were a historical example of how the rules were applied. “But what can be said to be a breach is the spirit behind my doing so, which was to shield Wei Wuxian from facing consequences for his behavior rather than a genuine desire to instruct him in our ways. The rules say No dishonest practices. Furthermore, as you know, the Jin sect has been demanding justice for what happened at the Qiongqi Path, and they are entitled to know that justice has been meted out.”

Lan Wangji’s expression of worry only worsened. “So shufu will be punished.”

“…yes, I will be. But Wei Wuxian will not, and the Wen sect remnants, under his auspices, are similarly guaranteed our protection.”

“But shufu will,” Lan Wangji insisted, and Lan Qiren felt warmed by his nephew’s concern. It was a dull sort of warmth, muted through the shock, but he was relieved that Lan Wangji was still able to be concerned about things and people other than Wei Wuxian. He hadn’t gone all the way down his father’s path; Lan Qiren’s goal of all these years had been achieved. “What is the punishment?”

“Yeah, Teacher Lan,” Wei Wuxian said. He looked worried, too, which was still a little unexpected. Prior to their encounter on the Burial Mounds, Lan Qiren hadn’t even known that Wei Wuxian’s facile face could make an expression of genuine worry, and neither had he thought that he himself would ever be the recipient thereof. “What’s the punishment? Is it something I can help with?”

Lan Qiren didn’t want to tell him. Wei Wuxian’s mood had improved, but he kept slipping back far too easily to the way it had been before, cold and vicious; a shock would not be conductive to his continued improvement, especially since Lan Qiren had not yet had the opportunity to try out healing songs on him other than by using Lan Wangji as proxy.

He didn’t want to tell any of them, actually. The Wen siblings and their family didn’t need to see the streak of viciousness that lurked beneath the Lan sect’s tranquility, especially since they’d be staying with them in the future – he’d managed that, at least, with Lan Xichen’s support. Lan Xichen had reminded everyone that he had been the one to advocate clemency for the Wen survivors, before the Jin sect had volunteered to implement it, and he’d cleverly framed his argument that taking care of them would only be honoring that original agreement rather than anything to do with Wei Wuxian or Lan Qiren. They’d be getting the farmland that Lan Qiren had promised, under strict guard and lacking the right to leave at will, but it would be theirs, without even the need to pay tax to the sect the way the other local farmers did.

Lan Qiren had even managed, in a rather inspired twist on do not forget the grace of your forefathers, do not be wasteful, and nurture aspirations, to win the right for little Wen Yuan granted admittance to the Lan sect as a disciple as long as he was adopted out to some another surname. He’d very carefully omitted any indication of what type of disciple, leaving the door open for Lan Wangji to adopt the boy if he wished to make him one of the main line Lan clan, but also making it equally plausible for Wei Wuxian to choose to give the boy his surname instead if that was what the family preferred.

There had been objections, of course, but Lan Qiren pointed out that such a generous offer was likely the only thing that would allow them to totally eradicate Wen Ruohan’s surname from the earth without lifting a sword – little Wen Yuan was the only male left who might conceivably have children in the future, what with Wen Ning being dead, the other Wen men quite elderly, and Wen Qing a woman, whose children, should she have any, likely to carry their father’s surname, given that no one would reasonably choose to marry into the Wen rather than marry her out. It was a good offer, keeping in mind both justice and mercy, in accordance with what the Lan sect rules sought to achieve, and by coincidence it would also make it easier for Lan Wangji in the future when courting his beloved.

No, Lan Qiren didn’t want to tell them. It would be harder to convince the Wen of the virtue of allowing their precious child to join the Lan sect, if he told them.

He didn’t want to tell Lan Yueheng, who had been his friend since childhood. Lan Yueheng had been by his side through the disastrous days when his brother had been sect leader, mind warped by his unrequited passion, anger sometimes or even often taken out on his irritating younger brother who kept harping on him to do his job rather than spend all his time chasing his ladylove.

But least of all, least of all, did he want to tell Lan Wangji. Lan Qiren might no longer be his nephews’ guardian, now that they had both come of age, and he had never been more than that – the sect had been very careful to grant him no more rights than they had to, hasty to remind and correct the children if the way that they said ‘shufu’ ever sounded a little too much like the way other children said ‘father’. But Lan Qiren had been their bulwark for so long, in their eyes a figure that was implacable and untouchable and able to defend them from everything, and even if that illusion of invincibility had been thoroughly destroyed by the Wen sect attack and its lingering effects on his health, an enemy attack was a different thing entirely from a punishment imposed from within.

A punishment ordered and then meted out by his sect.

He didn’t want to tell anyone, but not telling them wouldn’t be worth anything. It wouldn’t change anything.

One way or another, they’d find out eventually.

“Teacher Lan?” Wei Wuxian prompted. “Is there something I can do to help?”

Be of one mind.

Lan Qiren sighed. “You will not have much of a choice,” he said, looking down at the tea that had at some point been shoved into his hand instead of meeting anyone’s eyes. “As my disciple, you will be expected to aid me in my recovery.”

“Recovery?” Wen Qing said sharply. “I thought you said your condition was chronic, and stable?”

“So it’s physical discipline?” Lan Yueheng asked at the same time. “Not seclusion?”

“Third Uncle!” Lan Wangji exclaimed.

“What? I’m just asking –”

“Physical discipline?” Wei Wuxian interrupted, scowling. “You mean like being hit with the discipline rod? Teacher Lan?”

He sounded scandalized, as if the very thought were unthinkable. It was a little amusing, actually. Did Wei Wuxian think that Lan Qiren had been raised in the Lan sect and not faced sect discipline before?

“Absolutely not,” Wen Qing said, as if she had any say in the matter. “With his health? They can’t seriously expect a man who can barely breathe to take a beating! I don’t care if they mask it in the name of sect discipline, it’s ridiculous –”

“The sect has already made its decision,” Lan Qiren interjected, or tried to, anyway; there was too much yelling. “And I have accepted it. There is no point in debate –”

“What type of physical discipline?” Lan Yueheng asked, sounding suspicious, and Lan Qiren glared at him – he at least should know better than to be so loud. Though if he thought back on it, he supposed Lan Yueheng’s most common infraction had always been a violation of causing noise is prohibited, and his children took after him in that regard. His house had always been uncommonly raucous, though usually Lan Qiren enjoyed it…perhaps it was his ears that were overly sensitive at the moment, rather than the room being too noisy. “What? Qiren-xiong, you’re acting strangely, and that’s worrying! I know you’re not scared of the discipline rod, you used to get it all the time when that jerk was in charge –”

“Yueheng-xiong, how dare you! Desist at once,” Lan Qiren cried out, horrified, silencing his cousin with a spell as if he were an unruly junior. “Do not criticize other people!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Wei Wuxian said. “Who’s this jerk? I want –”

“Shufu,” Lan Wangji said, ignoring everyone else. “What is the punishment?”

Lan Qiren faltered.

His younger nephew was looking at him with worried eyes. Out of all the children Lan Qiren had ever taught, Lan Wangji was the one most like himself, only better in every respect – he was the baby of the family, the treasured pearl both Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen doted on and had never been able to deny anything, the one they had both agreed without ever saying a word ought to be left out of sect business to live and do as he pleased, ought to be spared any hardship they could.

Lan Wangji was too smart not to be able to figure out why his uncle, who had never particularly liked Wei Wuxian, would suddenly go so far out of his way to rescue him, and then upon his return promptly send them off in such a way as to guarantee them time alone together.

He would take this to heart.

But neither could Lan Qiren not tell him.

Do not tell lies.

“The sect has decided that my conduct in taking Wei Wuxian as a disciple, and adopting his actions as my own responsibility, has violated six of the greater rules,” Lan Qiren said, his voice as dry and emotionless as it had ever been, or even more so, as he sought to make it sound as mundane as any other statement. “In order that I not forget myself in the future, they have determined that the punishment ought to be sixty times the amount in strikes with the discipline rod, three hundred and sixty in total, and – ”

He refused to let his voice hitch or hesitate.

“– and six with the discipline whip.”

“Shufu!” Lan Wangji cried out, horrified, and Lan Qiren couldn’t blame him. Strikes with the discipline whip was a punishment reserved for the most severe crimes – the marks made by the whip would never fade for the rest of someone’s life, and they didn’t heal right, either; one would take even a hale and hearty young man in full health down, a half-dozen would put them out of commission for months, and any more than a dozen would invariably require a recovery that would span multiple years, even for an exceptionally powerful cultivator. Several such strikes inflicted at once was better described as torture, not punishment.

Even though the Lan sect honored human life above all else, the lives of a few Jin sect guards, however unlawfully taken, did not call for such a severe sanction. But that wasn’t what the rest of Lan Qiren’s sect were sanctioning – they were condemning Wei Wuxian for his rebellion against orthodoxy, condemning Lan Qiren for having given his approval and that of his sect’s to that rebellion, condemning them both for taking the side of the Wen sect that they all hated, condemning the Wen sect for having not refuted their tyrannical kinsman when it mattered…

But not just that.

In his heart of hearts, Lan Qiren believed that the main focus of their ire was not even really him, but his brother.

His brother, upon whom so many of the sect had placed their hopes, only to be betrayed and abandoned. The great Qingheng-jun, the shining star of the Lan sect’s last generation, who had been safe in his self-chosen seclusion, untouchable, a target for resentment that had only grown worse as the years had passed; Lan Qiren had always been his standard-bearer, governing the sect in his name and raising the next generation of leaders on his behalf, and every single one of the things Lan Qiren had done over the past few decades, decisions he’d made that his brother wouldn’t have and yet never stirred himself to overrule, could be laid at his brother’s feet in blame.

But his brother was dead, killed by the Wen, and Lan Qiren was here to take his place. Just like always.

Six strikes: there were six great rules that Lan Qiren could be said to have broken, but in his mind, and perhaps only in his mind, those six strikes stood for something else instead. One for his brother. One for his brother’s wife. One each for their children. One for Lan Qiren himself. And the last…

The last for Wei Wuxian, who Lan Qiren had now brought into their family.

Wei Wuxian, who was now yelling at the top of his lungs, Lan Qiren noted with a wince; Wei Wuxian was visibly furious, his eyes crackling red with resentful energy.

“Jiang Cheng had one and he could barely move,” he was arguing, his hands flung out in his fervor. “Six is unthinkable – even Wen Chao couldn’t bring himself to inflict more than one at a time, and he was trying to cause hurt and permanent damage! And that’s not even considering Teacher Lan’s health! Even if he survives taking all six, he’ll be bedbound for months, maybe years, and recovering for even longer than that!”

“That is, in part, the point,” Lan Qiren said, and they all looked at him. “Wei Wuxian is my disciple, and required to be filial to me. He will be expected to act as my caretaker during the time when I am – indisposed.”

It would serve as a convenient means of keeping him out of trouble and away from the rest of the cultivation world, Lan Qiren serving yet again as the unwilling jailor of another person, and despite not knowing the background, Wei Wuxian’s face went pale with rage when he understood.

“Shufu,” Lan Wangji said, his lips pressed tight and his hands trembling in his sleeves. He was just as pale. “Shufu… xiongzhang agreed to this?”

“It is the punishment I negotiated and accepted,” Lan Qiren corrected, because it was true. Any other alternative would have been worse – for him, anyway. He would have lost his mind in any sort of seclusion other than the purely voluntary, having grown unduly terrified of forced seclusion because of what had happened with his brother, and he had given his word to both Wei Wuxian and the Wen sect that they would be safe under his protection. He had been unwilling to compromise on either of those points, which he might otherwise have traded in return for more of a reprieve.

The initial proposal of strikes had been even higher, but he had fought it down: he had only injured the sect’s face, not any of its people, and even his worst opponents had been hard pressed to point to any permanent damage that he had wrought. There was also the mitigating fact that he was no longer in the line of succession to rule the Lan sect, that he could be said to have shamed only himself, and there was also the compounding factor that he had declined privacy for his punishment, trading the shame of having his wrongs known throughout the sect and then the world in exchange for fewer strikes…it still seemed almost cruel and disproportionate, and he thought that some number of his cousins were regretting their harsh words against him now.

Some, but not all – there had still been those that even at the end felt no remorse, and instead had expressions suggesting that they would have pushed for such a vicious end result regardless. Lan Xichen hadn’t been wrong to say that Lan Qiren had angered far more people than he realized – Lan Qiren was the Lan sect’s pride on one hand, the respected teacher that drew students from sects throughout the cultivation world, and on the other hand their scourge. He had always been too stern, too strict, too harsh…

“Shufu,” Lan Wangji said, his voice sharp and strident. “Did xiongzhang agree to this?”

Lan Qiren hesitated, because for all of his objections Lan Xichen had, and that was answer enough for Lan Wangji. His nephew closed his eyes, shuddered from the top of his head to the bottom of his heels, then spun suddenly and stormed out the door, throwing it closed behind him with a clatter.

Lan Qiren wanted to call him back, but the words died in his throat.

What was he going to say, anyway? Causing noise is prohibited? Running is prohibited?

Do not grieve in excess?

“Is this punishment something that can be borne by others?” Wei Wuxian asked, crossing his arms over his chest, his expression defiant. “I’d be happy to take them on in your place, Teacher Lan. I’m the one that actually killed them, after all.”

“The punishment is not about the deaths of the Jin sect guards,” Lan Qiren said, tearing his eyes away from the door. Lan Xichen would need to learn to deal with Lan Wangji in a temper, rare as such a thing was; it would be better if he did not interfere. Lan Xichen would be able to explain how dire the other alternatives had been and that this result had been was what Lan Qiren was willing to accept, and with luck, perhaps a great deal of luck, Lan Wangji would accept it. “It’s about our sect rules, and – internal matters. There is no possibility of substitution. It would be inappropriate.”

There was a thump, and Lan Qiren glanced over – Lan Yueheng had slammed his hand down on the table, his eyes red. His lips were still pressed together…ah, of course. Lan Qiren had silenced him, and so he did not speak even though the actual binding of the spell had already passed, out of respect for Lan Qiren’s wishes; that was the way of their sect.

“You realize this will kill you,” Wen Qing said flatly, drawing Lan Qiren’s attention away from yet another person he did not know what to say to. Her eyes were red, too, which he wouldn't have expected, just as he wouldn't have expected Wen Ning's mute but very visible misery. “A regular cultivator could tolerate maybe twenty, if they were willing to lie in recovery for three years, and an especially strong cultivator even a few dozen, but you…your health is already so poor – whatever happened to you, it affected your cultivation and bodily strength both. You get injured faster and recover slower, and you’re already bad enough about resting and recuperating. Doesn’t your sect know that this will kill you?”

“It won’t,” Lan Qiren said, and he even mostly believed it. “I have the best understanding of my own strength. Even weakened as I am, six strikes is within the range of my tolerance. I would not have accepted it if it wasn’t.”

“What if you’re wrong?” she persisted.

“I’m not.”

“But –”

“Qiren-xiong knows himself best,” Lan Yueheng said, finally speaking. He sounded miserable. “And he won’t change his mind, either, no matter what, so both of you can stop bothering. If this is what the sect wants, it’s what he’ll do. That’s…who he is.”

Lan Qiren couldn’t say anything to that.

It was true.

#mdzs #lan qiren #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wen qing #wen ning #my fic #my fics #discordant rhapsody #variations #I have feelings about this chapter so please send questions reactions comments if you have any

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Polyphonic

Chapter 3 ao3 (alt: tumblr pt 1, pt 2)

Lan Qiren wanted to speak to Wei Wuxian about everything they needed to do, but it would have to wait: the moment they arrived, they were immediately swept up into the political mess that Jin Zixun’s ill-fated ambush had caused.

Jin Guangshan was there in the blink of an eye, despite normally taking his time in seeing anyone, and Lan Qiren didn’t like the way he started making excuses for his nephew’s behavior from the very start. It was to a certain degree understandable, as everyone would first incline towards defending their family, but the haste with which Jin Guangshan sought to sweep it all under the rug was disconcerting, and Lan Qiren thought it was almost suggestive of some level of premeditation. Even more distasteful, however, was how he sought to twist the entire event into being yet another reason Wei Wuxian ought to surrender the Stygian Tiger Seal to the Jin sect: for his own good, of course, in order to avoid being made into a target on account of the disdain of the cultivation world –

“Sect Leader Jin, your words are in poor taste,” Lan Qiren said sharply.

He could hear Jiang Cheng, who ought to be defending Wei Wuxian and was trying his stuttering best to do so, starting to waver; the boy had a pleasant rippling melody by nature, forced into a fierce allegro by his parents’ endless disputes and his later tragedies, and the weak foundation meant that he was too easily buffeted by uncertainty and doubt, as Jin Guangshan undoubtedly knew.

“Let us not speak in abstraction,” he continued. “It was your sect, your nephew, who launched this particular ambush. You ought to be making a formal apology to Wei Wuxian and thinking of reparations to repair the injury to your sect’s reputation, not acting like a thief complaining to the magistrate that his victim failed to hand over his property quickly enough to prevent violence!”

Jin Guangshan’s eyes narrowed in irritation, though he fought to keep the expression off his face as if it could disguise the swell of bitter rotten music that accompanied him wherever he went. “Teacher Lan,” he said, striving for composed and charming but mostly coming off as stiff and wooden. “Come now, I must be misunderstanding you. Surely you are not accusing me of being a thief.”

Historically, as Jin Guangshan well knew, this was when Lan Qiren backed down, mindful of his position as interim sect leader – his sect granted him much of the responsibility but not the full measure of power that typically accorded with the title, and he was conscious, always, that his role was to ensure there was something preserved for his nephews to inherit.

Perhaps Jin Guangshan had forgotten that Lan Qiren was no longer interim sect leader.

“I am describing the facts as I see them,” he said icily, straightening his back and levelling his best teacher’s glare, refined by years of troublesome students. “And they are this: by the agreement of the cultivation world and through his own powers, Wei Wuxian was inviolate and unbothered as long as he remained in the Burial Mounds. Despite this, he willingly chose to emerge in response to an invitation issued by your sect, only to be attacked by your sect – and when he comes to you for justice, rather than grant it to him, you suggest that he hand over his most prized possession to prevent any similar attacks in the future. Unfamiliarity may require me to consult my sect’s texts to be sure, Sect Leader Jin, but only to determine if I should be calling it extortion, blackmail, or outright thievery!”

“Teacher Lan!” one of the smaller sect leaders gasped, even as Jin Guangshan went utterly florid with rage. “You’re not suggesting that Jin-gongzi was involved in the ambush!”

Lan Qiren had been Jin Zixuan’s teacher and knew him well – he had been a shy, introverted boy whose awkwardness came off as aloofness, and would never have done anything like this. Even less so would Lan Qiren suspect such a thing of the man who had been steadied by war and responsibility into an adult with a firm moral foundation.

“No,” he said, and met Jin Guangshan’s eyes directly. “I believe Jin-gongzi’s invitation to have been wholly sincere.”

For a moment, Lan Qiren thought Jin Guangshan was actually going to strike him, his aura lashing out violently like a clash of cymbals, discordant and biting, and he braced himself, but in the last moment etiquette prevailed and Jin Guangshan refrained, although his fists were clenched so tightly that his veins stood out from the backs of his hands.

That was when Wei Wuxian opened his mouth.

Lan Qiren silenced him with the muting spell before he could get out a single syllable.

Jiang Cheng sent him a thankful glance and cleared his throat. “This is a serious matter,” he said. “It requires a full investigation; we won’t be able to solve it all talking now. Both Wei Wuxian and Teacher Lan have traveled a long way – I have no doubt that they need some time to rest and refresh themselves.”

A convenient way to stop anyone from starting a fight, and implicitly excusing Lan Qiren’s rudeness as a mere symptom of exhaustion, resolving the whole thing without losing any more face for anyone. The Jiang sect’s boy was picking up this whole politics business quite well, the poor child.

“I concur,” Jin Guangshan said, recovering a little of his poise. “There are rooms ready for you both.”

Lan Qiren inclined his head as well. “An excellent idea,” he said, and then, because he could now, added, “We can discuss reparations for the ambush later.”

“And what about the curse?” Jin Zixun hissed, clearly done with holding his tongue the way everyone had been so obviously instructing him with their eyes. “Am I to simply suffer while that criminal walks free and unharmed?”

“When I said there would be an investigation, I meant it!” Jiang Cheng snapped. “I doubt your curse is so advanced that it can’t wait another day, and if it is, then you should have brought it up earlier!”

“Why you –“

“Sect Leader Jiang has spoken,” Jin Zixuan interrupted, his voice hard. “Zixun, don’t forget that you must also answer to me as to what you did to my guest in my name without my permission. I think it might benefit you to ‘rest and refresh’ as well. One of the servants can take you to see a doctor.”

Jin Guangshan seemed on the verge of objecting, but Jin Zixuan seemed not to get the hint, already turning his face away.

“In the meantime,” he said, saluting politely, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei-gongzi, would you come with me? A-Li is waiting to see you both.”

Lan Qiren allowed himself to be whisked off in a different direction to settle down, which in all honesty he did need to do. He hadn’t flown such a distance in years, had been in better health when he’d done so, and he had been tired even before all this excitement; some rest would do wonders for him, even if it did make him feel a bit like he’d become a doddering old man or an invalid. Before he could settle down, though, he heard a sound approaching – a little uneven, sometimes too fast, sometimes too slow – and despite the fact that Jin Guangyao had never been anything but polite to him, he felt his back tense up at the reminder of why he was here in the first place.

“Honored teacher,” Jin Guangyao said, smiling and saluting deeply – more than he should, really, given that Lan Qiren was neither a sect leader nor had ever been his teacher. “Welcome to Jinlin Tower. I regret that your arrival was marred by such unpleasantness, and hope that the remainder of your visit is calmer.”

It’s not Jin Guangyao’s fault that Lan Xichen likes him, Lan Qiren reminded himself. Your suspicions, and your family’s terrible luck at love, are your own burdens to bear. They should not be put onto others.

He nodded to Jin Guangyao.

“It would be good to see a peaceable resolution to today’s events,” he said neutrally. “I appreciate that you have come to check on me personally. It is truly going above and beyond the call of duty.”

“Your nephew is my sworn brother, Teacher Lan. How could I fail to honor you as my elder?” Jin Guangyao said smoothly. “Let me know if there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable.”

“A bath before dinner would be nice. Has my nephew arrived yet?” Lan Qiren privately hoped that he hadn’t, and was relieved when Jin Guangyao shook his head, confirming it. “Let me know when he does.”

“Of course,” Jin Guangyao said, and saluted again. “I’ll inform the servants; a bath will be made ready for you by afternoon.”

The moment Jin Guangyao left the room, Lan Qiren traced the pattern along the hem of his robes that shook off the dust of the road, returning them to being as clean and pristine as always – not a long-term solution to laundry, but very effective in the short-run, and one that he’d only refrained from doing earlier in order to drive home the point regarding how he had also been victimized by Jin Zixun’s ambush.

It was a profound relief to be clean again.

Once he could no longer hear Jin Guangyao’s familiar chords, he relaxed, which unfortunately these days meant coughing. He rubbed his chest when he was done, sighing, and settled down with his guqin to start playing a little, hoping to ease his nerves. Lan Xichen would be on his way already, he knew, and would probably move even faster once he got word regarding Lan Qiren’s presence. He’d made rather a lot of trouble for his nephew…

The door slammed open, and only years of experience with troublesome children, along with the warning echo of a song free and clear, full of shining righteousness, allowed Lan Qiren to remain unmoved by the cacophonous crash.

“So I have questions,” Wei Wuxian said. “Many, many questions, and I’m going to want answers to…uh, are you all right?”

Lan Qiren ignored Wei Wuxian’s rush, finishing the stanza he was playing and letting his hands still over the guqin. “Sit, and I will answer your questions to the best of my ability.”

Wei Wuxian closed the door behind him and put up a talisman for privacy, like the ones they used to use during the war, before coming to sit across the table from Lan Qiren. He was frowning. “Honored Teacher Lan, your lips are red,” he said cautiously. “Were you coughing up blood just now?”

“An old injury from the war,” Lan Qiren said, unable to resist recalling the memory of Wen Xu’s wild smirk as he’d deliberately smashed his ribs into pieces, grinding his palm against Lan Qiren’s chest to force the broken pieces to pierce his lungs. Nie Mingjue had executed Wen Xu only a few months later, a matter that had greatly eased his nightmares…truly Lan Qiren had to get to the bottom of this mystery as soon as possible; once Lan Xichen’s name was cleared, he could focus on trying to devise a solution to cleanse Nie Mingjue of the spiritual poison. “It can be aggravated by excess choler. Do not concern yourself about it.”

Wei Wuxian looked like he was concerning himself about it. “But you nearly –” Lan Qiren glared until he dropped the volume of his voice significantly. “You nearly got into a fight with dozens of cultivators back at the Qiongqi Path on my behalf! Wouldn’t that have aggravated it even worse than just getting angry?”

“Much worse,” Lan Qiren agreed peaceably. “My talents in battle are not especially notable, although better with the guqin than the sword. Regardless, the effort expended would almost certainly result in a severe backlash later.”

Wei Wuxian gaped at him. “Then why did you do it?”

“Was there an alternative?”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth opened and closed a few more times.

“How are your shijie and shizi?” Lan Qiren asked when it appeared that Wei Wuxian was not going to force any words out of his mouth any time soon. He folded his hands together in an appropriate manner – he, at least, knew his etiquette, and would continue to model it in the hope that Wei Wuxian might one day catch a hint. “Well, I trust?”

“Uh, yeah, they’re great. Jin Ling is perfect, shijie is wonderful, the peacock doesn’t deserve either of them, though he’s gotten better, I guess,” Wei Wuxian said, then shook his head as if to clear it. “And I wouldn’t have been able to see either of them if not for you.”

Personally, Lan Qiren didn’t think one Jin Zixun and any number of his friends would actually be able to stop Wei Wuxian, preplanned ambush or no, so he just hummed noncommittally. “You said you had questions?”

“Yeah, and now I have even more,” Wei Wuxian grumbled, but he seemed to settle down a little. “Let’s start with the fact that you said you needed help on a musical issue, but that it is also somehow an attempted murder. What’s that about?”

Lan Qiren grimaced. “Serve tea,” he instructed Wei Wuxian, and waited until he was midway through the process – and thus not staring straight at Lan Qiren – to start talking. “I have reason to believe that Nie Mingjue has been poisoned with spiritual poison.”

Wei Wuxian nearly spilled the tea, but managed to stop himself in time. “Chifeng-zun? Impossible!” Then he frowned. “I’d heard his temper was getting far worse, of late. Just mentions of it in passing…you think it’s because of that?”

“It may be. The Nie sect is prone to encountering qi deviations; a spiritual poison, especially one that specifically targets choleric feelings such as irritation and rage, would be particularly insidious when aimed against them. Should he die, everyone might be inclined to assume that the cause was hereditary rather than external.”

“A perfect murder. What type of poison?” Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows went up. “Wait – you think – musical poison?”

“My sect is renowned for using musical cultivation as healing techniques,” Lan Qiren pointed out, not sure why it seemed to come as such a shock to Wei Wuxian. “Antidotes grow alongside poisons, and all that can heal can also hurt – anyway, isn’t what you do a type of musical cultivation as well?”

“Good point,” Wei Wuxian said ruefully. “All right, that makes sense. That definitely seems like a real problem…but why do you need my help?”

“My health is poor, and I do not know what such an investigation will require,” Lan Qiren said. “And I cannot ask anyone in my sect to assist me.”

“Why not?”

“Because the primary suspect,” Lan Qiren said heavily, “is Xichen.”

Wei Wuxian stared.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a few long moments of blank gawping. “Please forgive me, honored teacher, but I think I misheard you. Are you saying that you think Zewu-jun is poisoning Chifeng-zun?”

“I hope dearly that he is not, of course,” Lan Qiren said. “In fact, part of the reason for my desire to investigate privately is to assist in clearing him of suspicion –”

“No, no, hold on, don’t move on just yet,” Wei Wuxian said, holding up his hands. “You think Zewu-jun – Lan Xichen! – might be capable of poisoning his sworn brother and, as far as I know, best friend? Your nephew?”

“Yes.”

“You really think he’s capable of something like that?”

“I have done my best to raise him to be the sort of man who would not be,” Lan Qiren said, and thought suddenly of his own brother – their father had treasured him, cared for him, valued him above all else. Would he have ever imagined that he would do what he had done and end up living out his life in seclusion, only to die pointlessly at the hands of the Wen sect? “And yet, who’s to say?”

“Uh, me? All the cultivation world? It’s Zewu-jun! He’s one of the most upright people I’ve ever met! You might as well suspect Lan Zhan – you don’t, do you?”

“No,” Lan Qiren said. He appreciated the righteous crescendo in Wei Wuxian’s voice, particularly when Lan Wangji was mentioned – unfortunate as it might be to find that Lan Wangji’s seemingly hopeless affection might actually be requited, since it remained a terrible idea – but it was a little inconvenient at the moment. “But equally I cannot burden him with the duty to suspect his brother. It would only hurt him.”

Wei Wuxian quieted down at that. “I can see that,” he said, grimacing. “But…why would you suspect Zewu-jun?”

“The evidence is – suggestive.” Lan Qiren shook his head. “To be clear, while I will of course value the truth above all else, I am not looking for evidence of Lan Xichen’s guilt. I am hoping to exculpate him.”

Wei Wuxian leaned forward, now frowning in earnest. “All right,” he said. “I still don’t really believe it, but other people might, and that’s bad enough. Even unfounded rumors can make for real trouble. Tell me what you know about it.”

“My nephew has been helping Nie Mingjue to ease the symptoms of his familial tendency towards qi deviations by playing him one of the strongest and most secret Lan sect healing songs,” Lan Qiren explained. “The spiritual poison I have observed in Nie Mingjue’s body is precisely a variation on that healing song – only instead of the pure version, which is designed to calm and heal disrupted qi, it is intermixed with another song that deliberately encourages spiritual turmoil.”

“All right. I suppose playing for Chifeng-zun gives Zewu-jun opportunity, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only one who could’ve applied the poison song.”

“The Song of Turmoil is a rare import, hidden away in one of sect’s forbidden books. Only very few people have access to that part of our collection.”

Wei Wuxian arched his eyebrows. “And yet you can immediately recognize it?”

“I enjoy studying obscure musical texts as an aid in composition,” Lan Qiren said, mild censure in his voice. “Would you dare claim you do not do the same?”

“…fine, fine, good point.” Wei Wuxian waved his hand. “Okay, fine…still, I’m not convinced. Even if the only source of the song is the Lan sect’s library, there was a lot of chaos these past few years. Someone else could have picked it up, couldn’t they?”

“It’s possible,” Lan Qiren admitted. “Unfortunately, the tune had the same starts and stops that are characteristic of Xichen’s playing.”

As a musical cultivator, even Wei Wuxian had to concede that the unique quirks of playing style were difficult, although not impossible, to replicate, and moreover that one would have to wonder why anyone else would bother doing so, especially in a spiritual poison they presumably hoped would go entirely undetected. He rubbed his forehead, clearly thinking it over. “So, wait, are you saying you heard this musical poison getting played? Were you affected by it? Why didn’t you interrupt in order to stop it or to find out who was responsible?”

Lan Qiren shook his head. “I did not hear the playing, only the effects.”

Wei Wuxian frowned. “I don’t understand. If you didn’t hear it get played, how do you know that the playing had Zewu-jun’s idiosyncratic characteristics?”

“I’m very familiar with how Xichen plays. How would I not notice it? Even if I only heard it intermixed with Nie Mingjue’s own base tone, the sound is distinctive enough to recognize.”

Wei Wuxian was staring at him, looking blank again. A moment later his brow furrowed as if he’d just had a thought that seemed strange to him. He said, “Honored teacher, a question. When I said I wasn’t the one who cast the curse on Jin Zixun, you said that the person who cast it played the guqin, not the flute. I’d been wondering…how did you know that?”

“The curse has the sound of a breaking guqin string, which does not accord with Jin Zixun’s own music,” Lan Qiren explained. “The person who cast it was moderately powerful and very well-trained, although this represents an overreach on their part. I think it is likely that they incurred a backlash due to the casting –”

“You just heard it?” Wei Wuxian interrupted. It was rather rude, but Lan Qiren supposed he’d signed up for that. “You just looked at him and heard the curse that had been placed on him?”

Lan Qiren nodded.

“You can hear what people’s spiritual energy sounds like?” Wei Wuxian was growing pale.

“Not spiritual energy directly,” Lan Qiren said, a little puzzled by what seemed like an outsized reaction. Not only was Wei Wuxian’s face pale, his fists clenched, but his song, normally so free and clear, had become suppressed, tense, tightly strung. “More in the nature of the sound of a person’s spirit itself. Your Ghost General, for instance; he has a very gentle melody, very soft, but the underlying base is harsh, jagged, thick with resentment, less playing than dying – he needs to learn to marry those two parts of his spirit together, or else he’ll have trouble finding peace. That’s why I offered to take him as a student.”

“What about me?” Wei Wuxian asked. He was almost vibrating with the need to know. “What about my music? Has it – changed?”

“It’s gotten a little more sober, which is not uncommon with tragedy,” Lan Qiren said, and felt as though he were on the edge of some terrible revelation. “But no, fundamentally you remain the same person you always were.”

Wei Wuxian exhaled, hard. A trill of relief.

“Something happened that made you think it would change,” Lan Qiren deduced, reaching up to stroke his beard thoughtfully. He watched as Wei Wuxian’s eyes flickered one way, then another. “Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Wuxian looked at him.

“Are you unwilling to return to orthodox cultivation – or unable?”

There was a world of difference between the two: one was arrogance, relentless and unrestrained, looking down at the truths the cultivators of the world and their ancestors had worked so hard to unearth, the other merely a depressing practicality – who wouldn’t choose to cultivate something if the alternative was nothing at all?

And yet…how could it be?

And why would Wei Wuxian be so terrified of letting others discover it?

“That’s none of your business,” Wei Wuxian said, teeth set in a bitter smile that was more of a grimace than anything else. “I agreed to help you, Honored Teacher, but my business is my own.”

“But –”

“Another question,” Wei Wuxian said. “Different subject: I know you don’t lie, and earlier you said…what you said. So tell me, what Lan sect girl has her heart so set on me that you decided to come tell me in person that I wasn’t allowed marry her?”

Lan Qiren blinked. “I only meant to advise you that it was a poor match for you both; it was not meant as an insult to you,” he objected, a little offended. “If you and Wangji insist, I will not stand in your way.”

He shook his head and sighed a little, regretful; he would not pursue the matter Wei Wuxian was hiding any further. He wanted to help, curiosity itching at him, but Wei Wuxian was right – it was none of his business.

“As long as your reliance on demonic cultivation does not impede your assistance in my investigation, I will not bring it up again,” he concluded. “How do you propose we begin?”

“…Lan Zhan?”

Lan Qiren frowned. “I already explained to you why I do not wish to involve Wangji, and that I do not suspect him. Why would we start with him?”

“Not for the investigation,” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, his face bright red. “About the – marriage!”

#mdzs #lan qiren #wei wuxian #jin guangshan #jin zixuan #jin guangyao #my fic #my fics #polyphonic

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