#Did I just write a fucking coda?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

My brain is on fire same I can’t sleep and am thinking of this:

The way she writes about marriage/family/commitment through these different situations across the album is soooooooooo interesting.

You have a very intense first experience of it in “The Manuscript,” where it is first dangled in front of her/the narrator’s young, impressionable self as shorthand for real love in a situation that ended up being smoke and mirrors. She’s being told everything she wants to hear by someone who basically thinks it’s just foreplay. In the end, when it’s clear that the other person has no intention of actually making a life with her, it makes her feel used, but she forces herself to recalibrate and become the girl she thinks he and all the other hes want her to be. Easy breezy cool. But there’s a sense of loss in realizing those hopes were merely banter to the other.

You have the “grown up” version of it alluded to in “So Long, London” and “How Did It End?”, the years of putting in work to save a relationship and the “deflation of our dreaming leaving [her] bereft and reeling” leading to them “calling it all off.” The implication is clearly that they built a home together with plans for next steps at a point in time, but the commitment is shattered. (Obviously to me it sounds like marriage.) She’s bitter at spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately didn’t want to be there, even if he couldn’t or wouldn’t admit it himself.

She felt like she did everything she was supposed to, but they were learning the right steps to different dances at as it were. Those dreams were at one point shared, but in the end they weren’t right for each other and she admits that, though bitterly (“I founded the club she’s heard great things about” eg the years she put in for him to help him grow up will end up benefiting his new lover, “but I’m not the one,” “you’ll find someone,” etc.). Mixed in with all this of her resentment of him wasting her youth (sacrificing herself at the altar), and his resentment of her for reasons less defined, and insinuations of betrayal in the shadows. The fantasy of the whole package disappears into the ether, yet she still has no answers as to how they got there.

Then in comes the wolf in sheep’s clothing in many of the rest of the songs, the one who promises her all those things she’s dreamed of since she was a kid instantly. After years of moulding herself to other men’s desires, someone comes in and tells her exactly what she wants to hear at the most vulnerable time of her life, as though the universe is answering her prayers, like some sort of cosmic payback for all she’s suffered, and it’s the most intoxicating drug of all. She’s gone from her wish for a family life feeling like she’s in a way being used for her body, to it being used as a chain to a relationship gone sour, to having someone put a metaphorical ring on her finger and tell her he wants to have babies with her, fuck those other guys.

In her grief and stupor, it’s too good to be true, which is exactly why she falls for it. But of course, it’s all an illusion, because this wolf is an amalgamation of the worst of all the men who came before him. He tells her everything she wants to hear not to make her dreams come true, but to make his. He takes the worst parts of these scenarios to make his move: he’ll stand by her, he’ll commit, he’ll do it out in the open under the spotlight’s glare (all things desperately lacking in her last relationship), but after he beds her he stabs her in the back in private and leaves her. He got what he wanted at the expense of her losing everything she wanted, this time as her world caved in seemingly for good. She feels like she gave up everything she thought she might have had for a chance that this is where the universe has been point her all along, only to be left broken for good (you represent the loss of my life as I knew it).

Then there are two sort of codas to this. In “But Daddy I Love Him” we get a sassier reimagining of “Love Story,” where the girl with the scarlet letter is mouthy and crass and tells everyone to go fuck themselves for cursing her in the first place, choosing her love above all else. And no, those haters can’t come to her wedding. Her daddy may have come around, but they sure can’t. Finally it seems someone is choosing her and will someday give her these things, and she’ll be able to show all the naysayers. (Also interestingly one of the more fictionally-veiled songs which ends happily vs the diaristic ones that don’t.)

Then of course there’s “So High School,” our first glimpse into what the future holds. Probably the only unabashedly happy (nay… electric?) song on the album, it’s all about reclaiming the buzz of youth (which is a whole other post) with a new lover. “Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? It’s just a game but really, I’m betting on all three for us two.” It’s, er, a direct nod to a certain now-infamous interview, but again, she’s staking her claim on her future, if not certain then at least hopeful again. This time the prospect doesn’t come with a “but.” It’s not, we’ll be pushing strollers but actually you’re too young. It’s not, we had these dreams for our future but actually I can’t move forward. It’s not, I’m going to promise you a ring and a baby but only until my needs are met and then I’m out. It’s, I know what I wanted and I’m not leaving, and thanks to that now she stays too.

The album dealt with the theme not at all in the way I expected, but is absolutely fascinating.

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #the tortured poets department #i have many thoughts #No brain power

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | May 6th-12th 2024

Have a good week everyone!

If you know anyone who isn't tagged, please tag them in the comments!

Complete

you don't wanna know me now by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Post-S7E7 | 1,3K | Teen): “Just one date,” Kim says casually, though she’s definitely picked up on whatever weird, uncomfortable tension has just entered the room with them, “this past Friday.” “Friday?” Buck repeats in an octave much higher than his normal one. Because Friday... Friday was when he watched Christopher while Eddie went out on date with — not Marisol, apparently.

taurus moon, libra rising by coldbam/ @coldbam (Established Buddie | 1,4K | General): “And I’m getting a lot of Virgo energy from Firefighter Diaz.” “Oh my God, he is a Virgo.” Buck excitedly smacks Eddie on the arm. “Do me next!” ~ Buck falls into astrology. Eddie is Eddie.

Mistakes by theotherlucifer/ @theotherbuckley (S7E7 Coda | 1,6K | Teen): Or Eddie Diaz makes bad decisions, but he can't help it, it's his wife.

Fluttering Wings of Freedom by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (S7E5 Spec, Coming Out | 2K | General): Hen didn’t really know what she expected to find. Her mind had raced through a million different scenarios, catastrophizing the way only a paramedic could when faced with getting a phone call from her wife telling her to forget the groceries and hurry home. She’d expected broken glass or maybe blood and tears. What she didn’t expect was to find Karen sitting patiently in the arm chair with a cup of hot cocoa in her hands, a bottle of Jack on the coffee table, and Buck practically vibrating on her couch. 

wait for the feeling of you by coldbam/ @coldbam (PWP, Established Buddie | 2K | Explicit): “Fuck. Get up here. Let me take care of you.” Eddie feels Buck shake his head, still nuzzled against his thigh. He gives one last kiss to Eddie’s skin, then starts extracting himself from between Eddie’s legs, wiping his mouth along the way. “No, I’m good. We’re running late as it is.” And…that is reasonable and rational. They did get a bit carried away, and they are expected to make an appearance at Bobby’s for a barbeque. Except…

meditating on your lips by coldbam/ @coldbam (PWP | 3K | Explicit): Buck comes out, and Eddie has some interesting dreams.

blackout by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Buck wakes up hungover on Eddie's couch, with no memory of the night before. Eddie's at just as much of a loss as he is, but their friends seem to know something they don't.

let it once be me (who do i have to speak to) by lenaboskow (Post-S7E4, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “Why not me?” Eddie didn’t mean to say it. The question had been banging around in his head for the past week, but now it was out in the open, echoing off the walls of the loft for Buck to hear instead of safe in his mind. “Why– what do you mean?”

things you shouldn’t say to me by coldbam/ @coldbam (Getting Together, PWP | 4K | Mature): Eddie comes out, sleeps around, and Buck hears all about it.

little by little by MediaWhore/ @mediawhorefics (BuckTommy, Madney Wedding | 4K | General): Or Buck & Tommy, during and after the wedding.

he's never gonna love you like I want to by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (S7, Demisexual Eddie | 5K | Teen): Eddie and Marisol talk about their relationship and the next step, and Eddie tries to articulate how he feels and why things aren't moving as fast as Marisol wants. A couple of days later Buck goes to Eddie's and they have a long talk about their feelings and their relationships, and probably let things go unsaid that aren't yet ready to come out.

Exhale by themandylion (Presumed Dead | 5K | Not Rated): Buck’s Jeep gets stolen, which is a pretty shitty way to start the day. The 118 answer a collision and find said Jeep on fire, a deceased driver inside, which is arguably an even worse way to start the day.

Give Us The Grown by fruitsdoesnotknow (Getting Together | 8K | Teen): Buck starts leaving notes for Eddie. Eddie writes notes for Buck right back. They were always going to end up writing their own love story.

the tiniest moves you make by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan (Maddie POV | 8K | Teen): Five times Buck talks to Maddie about Eddie intercut with five times Eddie talks to Maddie about Buck and one time they manage to figure it out on their own.

why do i always feel like i'm in the twilight zone by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Supernatural AU | 6K | General): The 118 is a prolific, all supernatural station. They face the hardest of calls for this reason, but they're curious about what species Buck is from the start. When they find out, it's a complex navigation to keep him where he belongs.

drink up (you're wasted on me) by okanus (S7E6, Bachelor Party, Infidelity, PWP | 9K | Explicit): Or: Eddie and Buck hook up at the bachelor party. Difficulties ensue.

gone fishing by coldbam/ @coldbam (Accidental Catfishing, Getting Together | 9K | Mature): “Someone is catfishing as you.” His eyes are wide and his face is serious. Stressed. Eddie has no idea what he’s talking about. “What?” Buck slows down and carefully says each word. “Someone's using stolen photos of you on a dating app. Pretending to be you.” He looks miserable, like it pains him to deliver this news. Eddie’s face must still show confusion, because Buck lets out a frustrated huff and then shoves his phone right in front of his face. “Look.” And. Shit. Buck’s phone shines brightly in the evening light of the loft, and there, nearly blinding him, is his own Tinder profile.

🔥 It's a church of burnt romances (and I'm too far gone to pray) by justhockey (Coming Out, Post-S7E5 | 15K | Mature): Eddie looks back, sifting through the ashes of every relationship he’s ever had that has burned to the ground. And his hands shake, and his heart beats too fast, and it’s there, right on the tip of his tongue. It’s close enough that he could reach out and touch it if he were brave enough. The reason, that no matter how hard he tried - no matter how much he wanted to, or how often he literally prayed for it - his relationships with women have never worked out. And he knows. Knows that no amount of women, or trying, or praying will ever be able to change it. You can’t fix what isn’t broken, and Eddie isn’t broken. He isn’t. He’s just…well. He’s in love with Buck, isn’t he?

🔥 The Pain Will Leave You Once It's Done Teaching You by fruitsdoesnotknow (Canon Divergent, Daniel Lives-kinda | 40K | Mature): When Daniel Buckley lives a little longer, Evan Buckley dies a little more. And this is how Eddie Diaz saves him, a little later on.

🔥what if i can't have us by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-S7E5, Getting Together, Sexuality Crisis | 47K Explicit): In which Eddie is dating Marisol; Buck's dating Tommy, and Eddie has feelings about that, which he simply does. not. understand.

WIP

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 127/? | 397K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 change the prophecy by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Alternate Timeline, Curse/Magic | 9/11 | 22K | Mature): Buck has never felt secure in any of his relationships; he’s been searching for someone to see him the way he feels he’s meant to be seen, but after things start going downhill with Tommy, he thinks that person might just not exist. Eddie cannot figure out what’s wrong with him when it becomes clear things with Marisol aren’t going to work out. But what if they’re both forgetting something?

🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 4/10 | 31K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 4/6 | 10K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 1/? | 5K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

Podfic

🔥 [Podfic] When the Lost are Found by MistMarauder/ @mistmarauder for ReformedTsundere/ @film-in-my-soul (Soulmates AU | 20-30 min | General): When everyone seems to have a better soulmate identifying system, Buck can't help but consider his own to be lackluster. How's he meant to find his soulmate with loose change and mismatched socks after all?

🔥 [podfic] Trade-In by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for themandylion (Post-S4, Getting Together | 1-1.5h | Not Rated): It starts with Buck trading in his beloved Jeep. It ends with a confession, a kiss, and Buck trading in his apartment too. Or: If you didn't think Buck research binges wouldn't eventually take him to safety specs for his car, you don't know Buck.

🔥 [podfic] my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 1-1.5h | Teen): or, a fever, a party, a late night tv show: three times eddie’s heart falls out his ass because buck keeps looking at him like that. he’s just got to find a way to tell him that doesn’t involve a convoluted cephalopod analogy about love

🔥 [Podfic] Tell Me About Despair by radpaisley // fic by @hattalove (Post-S4, Sexuality Crisis | 1/5 | 2-2.5h | Mature): eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place. except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too: it happens when you gnaw a hole in your lip trying to keep quiet only to have the words escape; when you realize that the ghost you've been seeing out of the corner of your eye is yourself; when your best friend smiles, and you allow it to take your breath away. it happens through the smallest of things: bird feeders, and cacti, and pasta shapes. meanwhile, the world goes on.

#epic buddie fic rec #buddie fanfic #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-Friday Coda

Tagged by the always lovely @theotherbuckley @perfectlysunny02 @cal-daisies-and-briars @aroeddiediaz @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @loserdiaz @wikiangela @daffi-990 @tizniz and @diazsdimples Thank you all so much for all the tags throughout the week and today! I have eased back on working NFL Buck because I am absolutely swamped with school. I have started clinic rounds and somehow the classwork has doubled for the next set of courses. Which holy crap. So a lot of my days are for studying, homework, and quizzes. Add on being a mom/house wife and yea, not a ton of time to work on my favorite WIP. But I am making time on Thursday to watch the newest 9-1-1 episodes and write codas, because I started them in the final episodes of season 6 and really enjoyed it! So I made a goal to make a coda for most if not all of season 7 episodes! 2/2! I will try my absolute damnest to get some work into NFL Buck because it is my baby and I know how much it is beloved. Until then, enjoy the season 7 codas. Posted to ao3.

7x02 Coda

“We-I…” Buck tries to find the right words again, but he has no idea what they should be.  He doesn’t know if he should be defending himself along with Eddie and Chimney, proclaim that they were just being honest with internal affairs. Or if he should defend Hen and the betrayal she felt when they couldn’t back her up.

Rock and a hard place, with Buck being squeezed tightly in between.

Chimney left the locker-room soon after Hen, with the passing false hope comment, “She’ll come around.”  His phone was half-way to his ear before disappearing around the ladder truck, most likely spilling the entire ordeal to Maddie.

Buck slumps back down on the bench and leans his head against the lockers, closing his eyes with a defeated sigh. Still standing close by, Buck hears Eddie hum in agreement. Yea, tonight was very much a downer.

“We should have had her back.” Buck finally says.

He feels additional weight added to bench and pressing warmth along his arm and thigh when Eddie sits beside him. “We did. We just all put our foots in our mouths trying to show her.” He assured.  He gives Buck knee a gentle squeeze, “You more than me with that whole ‘right call’ comment and wanting to give Captain Collier’s a hard time.”

Buck groans in embarrassment, “I was trying and horribly failing to lighten the mood.”

“The mood was dead on arrival; you had no chance.” Eddie chuckles.

They both go silent, stewing in the hurt emotions left behind by Hen and Chimney, mixing with their own anxiety and worry. It kind of reminds Buck of the last time Hen was captain and that man died at the happiness convention. God that felt like so long ago, when really is less than a year.  Yet here they all are, questioning themselves on the job after losing a patient and without Bobby’s steady leadership to help guide them through it.

Buck could only hope this didn’t send him or anyone else on the team into a spiral of questioning their purpose in life. And he really hoped it didn’t lead to another brush with death, for anyone of them.

The hand on Buck’s knee never left and gave another squeeze, pulling him from his past wallows and has his eyes fluttering open. He looks over at Eddie and sees an understanding smile gracing his lips. “That man’s death isn’t on us. We we’re working on the worst of the crash, and we saved that girl and her mother.  Hen made the right call, the same one Bobby would have made and when those lab results concur with her story, she’ll be back, and we’ll find a way to make it up to her.”

Buck takes a moment to let Eddie’s words sink it and pull him from the beginnings of a self-deprecating spiral. He did his job, he gave his facts of the event truthfully, and Hen would come around. In all regards, Buck just needed to learn how not to put his foot in his mouth, because at the moment it really was a nasty taste.

Slowly most of the tension that had built up during Hen’s confrontation eases away and Eddie felt it through the press of his shoulder into Buck’s, “That has to be a record.” He comments before getting to his feet and reaching a hand out.

Buck doesn’t even hesitate and tries his damnest not to flush too red as Eddie hauls him to his feet with little to no effort. The man has a girlfriend and Buck was done chasing. “Uh yea. Turns out when you stop trying to search for the life’s great moments and instead live in them, internal spiraling is easier to pull out of.” He explains. Eddie also is a big contributor, but Buck isn’t going to admit that to said man.

“Well… At least those self-help books will make good kindling for the next campfire.” Eddie cackles and Buck swats at his shoulder which only makes him laugh harder.

Eventually Buck joins in and the pit of dread dwindles further. He embraces this moment and knows eventually everything is going to be okay.

Short but somewhat sweet I hope! Tagging (no pressure): @jesuisici33 @fortheloveofbuddie @rogerzsteven @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @buck-coded @devirnis @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @sunshinediaz @watchyourbuck @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @bekkachaos @buddierights @try-set-me-on-fire @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @eddiiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @dangerpronebuddie @missmagooglie @thebloomingheather

#fuck it friday #tag game #coda fic #7x02 #my fic #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hen wilson #chimney han #happier buck #pining buck

[belindarimbi13]

my thoughts on the color version of mitsuya's design.

For a long time, I always had the impression that the dress is in black and white colors.

Like, I've written enough Doramitsu fics to emphasize these colors.

... The renowned dragon soars up to the heavens in light cashmere, and the other dragon falls to earth, draped in heavy velvet seeking for love ...

For anyone asking why, it never occurred to me that the color could be in any spectrum of red, because I regarded the velvet in the sentence as the type of fabric Mitsuya used, rather than the color of the dress.

Before the fan translation came out, since I cannot speak Japanese, I somehow thought that the darker one would represent Draken and the light one would represent Mitsuya. I remember seeing the design and thought to myself about how it resembled Draken in volume 25. So the darker one must be Draken's!

But the description throws me off because one seemed to symbolize someone's going to heaven and the other fell onto earth, seeking for love. Considering the story behind Mitsuya's design, of course I would think that:

Light = Draken

Dark = Mitsuya

I used this formula for years. God knows, I'm writing enough coda/post-canon for chapter 238-239 using that formula.

But who would have fucking known that I was actually wrong right all along?

Now, let's talk about this official confirmed color version of the manga.

The darker one apparently consisted of red color with a gold accent. While the light one as you can see, is all white.

And we definitely could not ignore the fact that the model of each design is having a certain someone's hair right?

It looked a lot like Draken here.

And Mitsuya here.

And don't tell me that those color compositions didn't remind us of them?

Now, I know that sometimes the colored version didn't match the anime. Like here's Draken's hoodie was black, not red.

But take a closer look at these designs and tell me that this is not the representation of Draken

and that this is not the representation of Mitsuya

The color version caught me off guard, especially since Wakui decided to give the model's hair, Draken and Mitsuya's hair colors. This is a fucking representation of them at the finest, Mitsuya reinvent Twin Dragons through his design. In every sense.

I just found out, how far he went for that.

Those designs could be interpreted in many ways, but one thing is for sure.

Don't. Tell. Me. Mitsuya. Didn't. Love. Draken.

Because he did, he does, and he will always do.

#it's been a while since the last time I analyze tr chapter #but you can't expect me to see THAT™ and writing something out of it #the colors are nice and it added depth to the story of doramitsu #and i accept every hcs of it #including my own #because y'know everything is fair when it comes to doramitsu #tokyo revengers #tr 239 #mitsuya takashi #takashi mitsuya #draken #ken ryuguji #twin dragons #draken x mitsuya #ドラみつ #doramitsu

[callunavulgari]

Top 25 Fics of 2023

1. whatever you want by Wildehack (tyleet) | Wolf 359 | Kepler/Jacobi | 5k

Kepler doesn't fuck him that first day, when Daniel swallows his pride like it's a hot coal he can feel boiling down to the pit of his stomach and dials the number left on the card. Heather Says: Back in 2017, Wolf 359 changed my life. I relisten to it every year. I reread fic. I sometimes write it. And THIS year, I was blessed with one of my favorites writing my favorites from Wolf 359. It's honestly exactly what I wanted out of a Wolf 359 fix it/coda.

2. god was a dog-man by @andthepeople | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

“Do you have a secret teenage son?” Stiles demands, as soon as Derek opens the door. Heather Says: I did NOT watch the Teen Wolf movie this year. I did, however, relentlessly stalk reaction posts and (very select) gifsets. I also read this fantastic fic, which is now the movie in my brain because since I didn't see it, I'll never know.

3. then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh by @calciseptine | Deadpool | Peter/Wade | 49k

A man with spider-themed superpowers accidentally breaks into Wade's apartment. Heather Says: Deadpool is one of those fandoms that I'm technically a part of because I like it and I think Spiderman and Deadpool is both hilarious and hot, but it's always just on the edge of my peripherals. But sometimes Steve's fic just kind of creeps on me and demands my attention. This was my feel good fic this spring.

4. By the Laws of Magic by Lenore | The Sandman | Dream/Hob | 32k

It’s 1959, and Hob Gadling is working at a London auction house, amazing his colleagues with his uncanny knowledge of art and artifacts from the 14th century on. When he gets the assignment to catalogue a family library at a place called Fawney Rig, he looks forward to a working vacation in the country. What he finds is a house with a preternatural chill where odd disturbances happen daily, an ornate carved door with a secret clearly hidden behind it, and visions of his mysterious stranger every time he turns around. Heather Says: I honestly love this ship. The fairy tale elements combined with the very compelling idea that in another universe much like this one, Hob Gadling ends up saving Dream from his glass prison made for some truly great fiction.

5. Dawnshot Through the Heart by @sirnotappearinginthisblog | Wax&Wayne series | Wax/Wayne | WIP | 80k

Ten years ago, Wayne fled instead of letting himself get arrested for murder. He’s been an outlaw ever since, keeping one step ahead of the lawkeepers who want him dead or alive—especially Dawnshot. But his luck was bound to run out eventually, and he knows how it always ends for the Bad Guys in stories. Heather Says: I think that this is the only WIP on here but I cannot rightfully leave it off because I LOVED this fic this year. I love the Mistborn series, but I've never really sought out fic for it before. This one though, this one found me. The writing is SUPERB and I wish it was a bigger fandom because it deserves so much love, you guys. It's so so so good. I love Wax and Wayne's dynamic in the series. They're great. But also- what if they had an enemies to lovers thing going on that turned poly? WHAT IF?!

6. One Size Fits All by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 65k

Steve just wanted to do something nice for a friend, he doesn't mean to get Eddie's ring stuck on his finger, and it's definitely not his fault that everyone he knows is jumping to conclusions. Heather Says: This is not the last time that you will see this author or this ship on this list. I really would have thought that Steddie would have crept out of my brain right now, but NOPE. And part of that is because every couple weeks entanglednow drops an absolute BANGER of a fic that obliterates my brain for anything else.

7. you are spring by @wildehacked | Supernatural | Castiel/Dean | 20k

God makes a wish. His parents work some things out. Heather Says: I got very close to leaving this one off the list, not because it wasn't good or that it wasn't one of my top 25 but purely because I've been out of the Supernatural fandom for so many years. I mean, c'mon. I didn't watch the last FIVE seasons. However, getting to follow along wildehacked's rewatch journey on twitter was a blast from the past and then THIS lovely shining fic that they churned out lured me back in for one last nibble at this ship that took over my life for the better part of a decade. It is so incredibly amazing and since I never finished the series, I will happily go on pretending that this is how it ended.

8. Interim by starkraving | BotW/TOtK | Ganondorf/Link/Zelda | 95k

She has no throne. Girls without thrones should not have knights, but hers won’t go. Princess Zelda – the girl who killed Calamity – would love to fade into legend, but Link’s bought a house, he’s fighting off monsters, and he’s selling giant horses to strangely familiar Gerudo men. She'll never have any peace now. Heather Says: This fic. THIS FIC. Is so richly built. Is so intoxicating. It leans into found family. You spend chapter after chapter watching Zelda and Link traverse Hyrule with the hot Gerudo that they met along the way after the events of the first game. And it is so fucking compelling. Honestly, while I'm happy that they smooched, I would have been completely fine reading another 100k of just these three wandering Hyrule together, being absolute goblins. 10 out 10, will read again.

9. one hundred years past by tciddaemina | BotW/TotK | Ganondorf/Link | 38k

Link wakes up a century early. It changes everything. Heather Says: Can you tell that playing Tears of the Kingdom left me desperately thirsty for any and all Ganondorf content this summer? I'm a sucker for all sides of the poly triforce but I'll admit that Ganondorf and Link scratches that enemies to lovers itch PERFECTLY if it's done well. And this one is done well.

10. Step Right Up by entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 3k

Steve had mostly given up on trying to meet anyone new after everything, but it's been six months and his friends had started giving him pointed nudges to get out there again. Heather Says: Told you it wouldn't be the last you saw of entanglednow. I actually think that this might be my favorite fic that they've written? Which is saying a lot because I will scream it to the rafters that any Steddie fan should read their fic. But this is FUN HOUSE MIRROR MAZE and MISTAKEN IDENTITY KISSING. Guys, I have no chill about this fic. I have no chill about Steve's hands in Eddie's hair, or the sounds that he makes, or the smell of strawberry. It is just so so good.

11. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 35k

Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth. Heather Says: I genuinely do not think that I have words for this one. It is one of those all encompassing fics that sucks you in and just won't spit you out again. It hurts, an ache just under the breastbone. But god, it's so beautiful.

12. Fight Night by @rlnerdgirl | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 12k

Stiles starts fighting in college. He doesn't tell anyone. Heather Says: There are three...? Yeah, three Teen Wolf fics on this list. Three. Like it's 2015 again. Like my brain broke and time went ticking all the way back to when I was ridiculously invested in these characters. But honestly? All three Teen Wolf fics on this list are incredibly therapeutic. They get to be the ending for me instead of whatever clusterfuck good ole Jeff tried to pull. This one in particular is fantastic because it's canon-divergence after SEASON one. Yes, we have Erica and Boyd. Yes, Stiles is BAMF. It's a good read.

13. strange fear i ain’t felt for years by Sister | Batman | Tim/Jason | 31k

“Can’t believe a pretty thing like you has to come begging to the Red Hood,” he says against Tim’s neck. “Thought they’d be lining up down the block for you. Thought Daddy would need to get the shotgun.” Heather Says: Oh look, another ship and fandom that I was only peripherally aware of that had me in a chokehold for a good month and a half. I don't even like DC that much.

14. Silver-Tongue by starkraving | Baldur's Gate 3 | Astarion/Karlach | 9k

Astarion fast-talks an abnormal number of enemies into killing themselves in the shadow-cursed lands and the team makes idle (then less idle) conversation about it. Heather Says: Okay, so I STILL have not finished this game. I have however very carefully consumed as much content as I can get my hands on without being completely and totally spoiled. This was the first fic that I really loved in this fandom. It's no surprise that I ship Astarion happily with everyone, but damn is he good with Karlach in this one. Their characterization is perfect.

15. A Sign of The Morning by ToEdenandBackAgain | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 86k

Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life. Heather Says: Honestly? What can I say about this one? It has 19,000 kudos despite being published last June. It's on a ridiculous number of collection/rec lists. The tension is exquisite. The found family? Even better.

16. Phantom of Truth by Haiju | Danny Phantom | Maddie Fenton & Danny Fenton | 58k

Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her sole object of study, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth... except, perhaps, herself. Heather Says: Oh look, another fandom that I have never ever been a part of. I saw this REALLY NEAT and angsty tiktok (tw for ghosty gore) and basically immediately was sucked into a show that I've never even watched before. The comments lead me to this fic which is perfectly gen, angsty, and honestly absolutely perfect. I cannot get over how much I loved this.

17. Manacled by senlinyu | Harry Potter | Draco/Hermione | 370k

Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Heather Says: I did the thing. I read the incredibly dark fic that I've been avoiding since 2018. I typically steer-clear of anything that is overly bleak and I do not tiptoe into non-con waters often. But one of our groomsmen who isn't even involved with fandom read this so that his girlfriend would watch Star Wars with him and then spent a good portion of a Halloween party talking it up. So I gave it a shot. Over all, it is too bleak for me. That said, I finished it in a weekend. I loved it. I hated it. I wish I'd broken it up over a longer period of time because the emotional bleed off of it was intense.

18. Ready for Love by @idiopathicsmile | Singin in the Rain | Cosmo/Kathy/Don | 12k

Don and Kathy would move in together. They would have a dog or two and then inevitably, a small parade of adorable little brats who would call him Uncle Cosmo, and they would spend less and less time with him, not on purpose but busy with the rest of their lives, and ultimately Cosmo would learn to make his peace with it because he’d have no other choice and he would have to try to move on and not live too much in his memories. He could picture it so clearly, he figured if the songwriting gig with Monumental didn’t pan out, he could always return to the backwater circuit with a new act: The Amazing Cosmo of the Cosmos—ladies and gentlemen, he sees the future, he reads the stars, he silently pines for his best married pal and all the while tap dancing! Don and Kathy inviting him along on their honeymoon, though—that part was a surprise. Heather Says: I LOVE this movie. It is one of my biggest comfort movies. I watch it to feel happy. I watch it when I'm sad. And I have always shipped these three but NEVER read fic for it. And honestly? I'm glad I waited for a good fic to find me because this one was perfect.

19. A Series of Forgettable Events by @trensu | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 27k

Steve wanted to be a dad more than anything. Unfortunately, he was a single dude in his thirties which meant no adoption agency in the world was willing to give him a chance. Or at least no human adoption agency. Heather Says: Honestly just a delightful little jaunt in a world where Steve wants to be a dad, Eddie is a very overprotective siren, and the kids are, well. Little horrors. I love it. There's a sequel now which I am very patiently waiting to read it until I am less busy in RL.

20. the dry sand of daylight by @andthepeople | Inception | Arthur/Eames | 15k

Arthur is married to Eames for the better part of a decade. Then he wakes up. Heather Says: This fic left me ACHING for the Inception fandom circa 2010-2012. When livejournal was still a thing and the fandom community was alive and thriving. It is so achingly tender and perfect. I had forgotten how much I loved them.

21. brutalist masterpieces by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 12k

Ten years on, in a town in Nova Scotia, on the edge of the Atlantic, Eddie finds Steve again, and also maybe himself. Heather Says: Maybe that's my thing this year. Achingly sweet tender pieces that leave you reeling in the aftermath. This fic is SO incredibly beautiful.

22. What Made Milwaukee Famous by synthetica | Danny Phantom | Vlad/Danny | 30k

Ten years after establishing a tenuous truce, Danny crash-lands at Vlad's Milwaukee lakehouse with a particularly nasty wound, three days recovery time, and absolutely nothing to do but talk to his long-lost archnemesis. Heather Says: I'm told that this is something of a rarepair. However, from the limited information that I have from the series I can say with full certainty that two ghostly beings locked for years as enemies growing up and meeting in the middle? Fully my thing.

23. then now and always by @raisesomehale | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

Stiles is stuck. Stiles is stuck in the fucking snow in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere at night with a broken down car three days before Christmas, and the nearest tow truck company—over fifty miles away—doesn’t open until morning. Heather Says: And here we have the promised third Teen Wolf fic, the most cathartic of the bunch. I am so so sweet on future fic particularly in this fandom with missed chances. And this one is just so syrupy sweet. It's winter! There's horses! Derek's an alpha! They smooch. Anyway, this is how I cope with a series finale that didn't happen and a movie that doesn't exist.

24. Terminus by @rcmclachlan | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 4k

"Keep me here," he begs against Mobius's lips. "You must keep me here." Heather Says: What do you mean you didn't spend all three replays of the Loki series finale weeping into a pillow? What do you mean you didn't spend the next few days trying to find the perfect coda? What do you mean that you didn't find this fic and positively expire from the sheer fucking tenderness in Mobius' voice? What do you mean? What. do you. mean? Anyway, I know I'm not supposed to have number one favorites. This list exists because I cannot condense it further than 25. But guys, this was my favorite fic this year.

25. Eye Of The Beholder by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 22k

Eddie works himself up to ask Steve if he can borrow his instant camera, because the type of pictures he wants to take are…not the kind he can get developed in town. Heather Says: And to round it out, another Steddie. This one with sexy photos. The tension is killer.

#heather says what #top 25 #year in review #fic recs #recommendations #2023 #new year's memes #teen wolf #stranger things #loki #inception #supernatural #danny phantom #dc #harry potter

[lawless-walrus]

NUCLEAR YAP

spoilers for S3E12 of midst

Weepe and Saskia’s relationship has occupied my damn brain space since inside, and their reunion has been my most anticipated event to happen in ANY media since we learned in breakfast that Saskia was going to the light with Harry. One little pet peeve I’ve had with not writing this sooner is seeing people be very reductive with what’s gonna happen, or even their relationship. Which is easy to fall into, considering weepe doesn’t seem to be anything other than an opalescent, weird, evil bastard when you shine a light on him. But just like his body, there are very dark things hiding within his character. And a big part of season 3 has been seeing those dark things finally begin to show. So let’s get inside these 2 characters heads fully and completely, to understand their relationship with eachother.

Both Saskia and weepe are mysterious characters at first, on the second episode the only thing we are sure of either of them is that they run the black candle, are criminals, and are a bit quirky. Concord is even initially taken aback by the funky dynamic they had. Let’s start with Saskia, who, for all that she has to hide, is much more clear to us as a character than Mr. Moc Weepe. She was the owner of the black candle cabaret, which weepe says in was kind of crappy when he first saw it, before he stepped in to help make it the very successful business it is. And she’s also a valorous trustee, which means she immigrated to midst from the Un before weepe did. She’s been in midst for a very long time. Infact, she was one of the first settlers of stationary hill back in 598. Judging that she’s in her early 40’s according to Sara in the tumblr AMA, Saskia would be at most 18 when she arrived at stationary hill, meaning that she has been a part of Stationary hill and midst for both the entirety of its life, and for the entirety of her adult life. She would die for this place. Twice. She’s been shown time and time again to be an idealist and someone who deeply cares about each and every member of this community. And that extends to Mr. Moc Weepe. To quote her in Coda “See, I told you! I promised I was gonna work on him.”. What this line implies is that upon arriving on stationary hill, people were quick to assume/realize that Moc Weepe is kind of a freak. He’s not someone anyone would like working at their place of business based on first impressions. But Saskia is an idealist, and partnered with weepe anyway. And he seems to have been a very good bet, as he has transformed the black candle cabaret into an enviable establishment across the cosmos. Weepe was an exceptional justification of her idealism.

Was.

Saskia was disappointed when Weepe betrayed her. Not shocked. Disappointed. She was so upset that the man she helped get better, the person who helped her in-turn turn the black candle cabaret into something special, someone who, like Saskia, had gotten involved in the community enough these last 6-7 years to earn the nickname the mayor of stationary hill, would fuck her and everything else over. She thought, hoped, he had changed. And Moc Weepe seems to believe in interest that he’s incapable of that. That he is a man who cannot do good. But moving beyond business partners for a second. In the quote I’m pulling from coda early on in the last paragraph, just before weepe mentions that Saskia really had to pull his leg to come on stage and sing with her. Which begs the question, why does she want to sing with him? An answer so easy it’s almost a no brainer to bring up. Saskia wanted to sing with weepe because she likes singing with weepe, because she cares about weepe. And weepe tore out her heart not just by betraying everyone, to the trust, but by proving Saskia wrong. That being patient with him, that loving him (whatever form that love may be), was an unwise decision. In episode 16 of season 2, she through away the nutcracker for 2 reasons. 1 to not give Meryl any hints that it was weepe or someone involved in the cabaret who killed Atticus (which she instantly realizes and suspects when she learns he is dead), and to remove any trace of weepe from her life. Helping that man may still be in the cards, Saskia isn’t a spiteful person. She could’ve killed weepe in the tearorr if she wanted to. She is still an idealist. But being close with him again. Him becoming a part of her life again. That is something she does not want. Unfortunately for her however. She is now in a city ruled by him, a fact that she brings up twice in episode 3x10. And yet she stays behind to help lark and Phineas. Even though she is determined to keep weepe out of her life. She will not run.

Moc Weepe was someone else once. Maybe we’ll never know who exactly that was. But we do know that he was the Baron of Fold Shallows before Kozma. He too would’ve been young when midst was founded. Quite young when he was put in a mica maiden and dropped into the fold abyss. A boy you could say. And ever since then, he has stated that the only thing keeping him together was the thought of seeing Kozma Lazlo again and turning her into a nice damp puddle. In interest, he states that midst was supposed to be a quick pit stop. But he ended up staying there instead. For up to 7 years. She made him stay. Weepe is an incredibly cynical person. Weepe has rarely a nice thing to say about any character he interacts with in the entire series. He has never, not even once, been interested in one of Imelda’s speeches about doing the right thing. And he has a very nihilistic attitude about doing what he has to to survive. But while he certainly took a radical business minded, capitalist, hustle grind mindset while running the black candle cabaret, he seemed to start doing more than just surviving. He accidentally made a home there. He stayed in one place for too long, and put down roots without meaning too (sound familiar Lark) He usually doesn’t give a shit about consequences, but he cared then. He cared about Saskia’s opinion of him. Because she believed in him. In the Arca chamber, in what he perceived to be potentially his final moments, he called out to her, as if in his deluded state, Saskia would be the one to save him from the other side. And in some ways she did. She gave him a place to stay, a business partnership, an opportunity to do good. And he was doing it.

Despite what weepe says about that he would’ve fucked the black candle over later if he didn’t do it now, he didn’t fuck the black candle cabaret over for 4 years. In fact, when it was raided, it was in the best state it had ever been in. And when he ran out of the cabaret with only his medical case, he almost cried because he was leaving her and this wonderful place behind for good.

Weepe is now tripotentiary, and has killed Kozma Lazlo. He is the richest person in the entire cosmos. And yet Saskia Del Norma still keeps coming up, even though she is not there. In his mind and everyone else around him, she is gone forever. He left her, and she will never come back. We’ve talked before how cult psychology works best without other relationships outside the cult. Weepe only became forced to be a trustee because the islet of midst, the black candle cabaret, and Saskia del Norma, are all gone forever to him. He has no one but Imelda (who is a whole can of worms I’ll get into some other day). And like Saskia, we get to contrasting reactions from weepe about the other. When weepe is dying in the Arca chamber, he reaches out to Saskia. When he’s at his lowest, when all is lost, he turns to the one person who believed in and cared about him. But when he’s reminded of her or the ruin of midst, like in episode 5 and 12 of season 3, he gets anxious, and steers the conversation elsewhere, rather aggressively in interest. He physically reacts to both times it’s brought up. In his new life as leader of the trust, as that old him who ruled over a vast number of islets with an ironfist, that opportunity he once had to be a good person in his and others eyes makes him very uncomfortable. He doesn’t want that reminder of when his cynicism weakened, the reminder that he gave up on being good, to come with him into his life as Baron again. But, in inside he still called to Saskia in that chamber. And he doesn’t know she’s alive. He doesn’t know that the person who once cared for him is in the light right now. And if he meets her, if he sees that she is there and real, he will not run.

(I’m still working on my essay for Imelda, I’ve been working on it for 2 weeks.)

#midst #midst podcast #moc weepe #saskia del norma #Most sane Moc Weepe fan #midst spoilers

[ladytauria]

Hear me out: 92 and jaycest for the smut prompts

i heard you loud and clear nonny 😌

this... ended up being a monster of a fic (almost 6k) so i'm not posting the entirety of it here, lmao.

my original plan for this was to be a coda to cloves, smoke, and honey, but every time i sat down to write nothing came to me. so finally i started listing jay pairings while looking up selfcest prompts and—then something clicked and i ended up with this <3

in which hood!jay ends up in a universe where his alternate never died <3

i had a really good time with this one! i hope you enjoy <3

(note: i was picturing jay at about ~17 in this, and jason at least 22. however, no ages are stated; just that jay is going to college soon <3)

>> AO3 <<

Hood plants his hands on the desk, leaning against it, looking up at the monitors. Batman and Nightwing are still out. Spoiler and Robin’s curfews got called an hour ago. (Tim’s probably still sulking about it, but whatever. School’s important, no matter what the brat thinks.) Alfred retired when they did.

That leaves just Hood and Jay.

Hood… He showed up just shy of a month ago. Some asshole’s running around, opening portals to other dimensions, and Hood got caught in the crossfire. Stranded, until they can catch the guy.

He won’t show them his face. Won’t even walk around in just a domino! Instead, he’s always wearing that obnoxious red helmet.

It’s driving B crazy.

Even Tim, stalker extraordinaire, hasn’t been able to figure out Hood’s identity.

Or. If he has, the little gremlin isn’t sharing. Jason highly doubts he’d hide it, though. B and Dick are too wound up about it.

Jay… He can’t blame them. Hood’s scarily well-trained. Bruce tried putting him on lock down once and he just breezed right past the defenses as soon as they left. That’s when Dick had suggested they work together—mostly to keep an eye on Hood, which they all know Hood is aware of.

Jay’s pretty sure Dick meant to take the job. Hood and B… well, the way his hackles raise if Batman so much as glances in his direction… That’s a powder keg waiting to blow. Thing is, while Hood will tolerate Nightwing—mostly—the one he trusts the most is…

Jay.

It’s flattering.

And it’s kind of nice to be the one in charge of keeping an eye on Hood.

Jay is still a recent graduate of his Robin role, and it’s a struggle to be taken seriously as his own hero. He’s… looking forward to college, honestly. To either put vigilantism on the back burner or just set up somewhere new—he hasn’t decided yet. It’ll be nice, to leave and come back changed.

Anyway, but actually being trusted to run with Hood at night makes him feel… More like a part of the team. He knows Bruce will never trust him as much as he does Dick—and he’d like to say he’s made his peace with that, but he hasn’t—but at least he trusts him with something.

Jay just wishes he wasn’t so distracted. Even now, Jay’s not paying as much attention to what’s on the monitors so much as he is the way Hood’s tac pants pull taut over his ass and thighs. Which—fuck, those thighs. Firm and muscular and thick.

He choked a guy out with them earlier tonight. Jay’s blood had rushed south so fast he’d thought he was gonna pass out. It’d taken every trick he knew to will his erection down so he could keep working.

The arousal still sings in his blood—a quiet tune, but present all the same. Jay wets his lips, and then walks over to him. “That was some nice fightin’ tonight, Hood,” he says casually, drawing closer to Hood. “Bet you’re tired.  I wouldn’t mind givin’ ya a hand.” He trails his fingers over Hood’s forearm—doubts he feels it much, with his armor and jacket still in the way. “You could take a nice, hot shower, and then… I could give ya a massage. Work out some of that tension you’ve been carryin’.”

Hood is still. Jay’s not sure he’s breathing. “Kid,” he says—and then stops, hands flexing on the table. Jay waits for him to gather himself, or shake his head and tell him to get lost.

It’s not the first time he’s flirted with Hood. It was a joke at first. Hood was attractive, Jay recognized that from the start, but… Well. Jay had discovered a few years ago that flirting was a good way to throw people off of their game. (It also invited trouble, of course. The silent ‘I-told-you-so’ from Bruce after Mask started showing actual interest in him had been deafening. But mostly, it served Jason well, so he kept going it.) He hadn’t meant anything by it at first.

He does now.

Has since Hood shoved him up against a wall, bracketing him in with his body, one gloved hand pressed against his mouth. He’d hardly noticed the people passing them; senses too full of leather and steel and gunpowder. His cock had strained in his cup, a thousand times more uncomfortable than the brick at his back.

His attempts since have been utterly sincere.

Hood has never told him off. A few times, he’s even flirted back… before obviously stopping himself.

Jay persists.

“You don’t want this,” Hood says finally, turning his head to meet Jay’s eyes. The whites of his helmet are blank. They give nothing away. Neither does his voice, not with the modulator in the way. Even his body language is inscrutable.

“You don’t get to tell me that,” Jay tells him, his voice breathier than he means it to be. Anticipation thrums in his veins.

Hood lets go of the desk, standing up to his full height. Jay— Jay will be lucky to hit 5’7. More than likely, he’s going to be stuck at 5’5 for the rest of his life. Hood… Hood is taller than Bruce, beating him out by a single inch. Jay has to tip his head back to keep holding Hood’s gaze.

“You have… no idea who you’re talking to,” Hood says, and the modulator adds to the harshness of his tone.

Rather than turn Jay off, it makes him shiver before defiantly lifting his chin.

“Oh, fuck off. You wanna tell me you’re not interested? Fine, that’s fair. I’ll back off. You wanna tell me to stop? Fine. That’s fair. I stop. But you don’t get to tell me that I don’t want this. That I don’t want you.”

Jay steps closer. He already stripped out of his armor, leaving him in nothing but a form-fitting t-shirt and tight leggings. He ditched his cup, too, which means when he grinds his hips forward, there’s nothing to prevent Hood from feeling his erection as he plasters himself against Hood’s side, stretching onto his tip-toes. His lips brush where Hood’s ear would be, if not for the helmet.

“Let me show you how much I mean what I say,” he whispers.

Hood goes still again—but it’s the same kind of stillness that falls just before a storm. Jay holds his breath.

It’s knocked from him when Hood grabs him, broad hands gripping his waist and lifting him onto the desk—his ass just barely missing the keyboard.

Then, he reaches up; a low, mechanical hiss sending Jay’s heart into his throat. Hood tosses the helmet aside—Jay hears it hit the ground, roll, but he doesn’t bother to look where it lands. Instead, he watches Hood rip his domino off next, tossing that aside too, and then, finally—

Jay sees him.

He drinks him in ravenously. The scar, starring at his mouth and trailing up, up, to his temple, where it disappears into his hairline. His hair is dark, curly, wild and askew the same way Jay’s is after a patrol. There’s a shock of white in the front, where his bangs curl on his forehead, forming a heart shape.

Huh.

Jason’s do that too.

Their noses are similar, too; a little crooked, with a raised bump in the middle. They’ve both got full mouths, settled into a natural pout. A small scattering of freckles over their noses, including a darker one under the left eye.

A scar, mostly faded, over a brow.

Jay’s eyes go wide. “You’re—” Me, he doesn’t finish, the word sticking in his throat.

How many times had he tried to guess which of them Hood could be, if any of them at all? Himself had never crossed his mind, not once.

Hood… He wielded guns with brutal efficiency. None of Bruce’s security measures could contain him. When Nightwing challenged him to a spar, they’d been so close to evenly matched. He had the height, the bulk to match Bruce, and—

He was just…

Hood was dangerous, and lethal, and confident, and skilled, and big, and—

So very unlike Jay at all.

Yet… There he is. He has a few more scars, and his jaw is more defined, but— They have the same full cheeks, the ones that give him perpetual babyface. Especially with his long, dark lashes and full, pink lips.

Jay… is starting to see why people call him pretty.

“I told you,” Hood—Jason says harshly. It’s Jay’s first time hearing it without the modulator. His voice is low, gravelly. It makes his skin pebble.

Hood being Jason doesn’t make him want him less at all. He’s still the same ultra-competent badass that he was before, and—

Jay would like to get his hands on him right now, pretty please.

Jason doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo. Insecurity still runs deep, Jay guesses.

“Go on. It’s past time little birdies went back to their nests.”

Jay fists both hands in the collar of his jacket before Jason can take more than a single step. “Shut up,” he snaps—and then yanks him down into a fierce, hungry kiss.

Jason gasps into his mouth.

For one heart-stopping second, Jay thinks he’s going to be shoved away. Thinks Jason will look at him with disgust, humiliate him for even considering that Jason might want anything to do with him.

Jason doesn’t.

Instead, he steps forward, forcing Jay to tip his head back. There’s the rustle of fabric, and then—a hand, no longer gloved, tangles in his hair, pulling just-so in a way that makes Jay gasp, shiver, hips rocking forward, grinding his dick against the molded abs of Jason’s armor.

His moan is embarrassing, high enough that the bats rustle restlessly above them.

Jason presses the advantage, plunging his tongue in Jay’s mouth. It tastes of peppermint and cigarettes as Jason licks into him slow and deep, delving into every nook and crevice of Jay’s mouth.

Jay shudders; legs locking around Jason’s waist.

When Jason pulls away… Jay whines, trying to chase him. It’s the hand in his hair that stills him; fingers tightening, holding him in place.

“Please,” he begs.

Jason’s nostrils flare. Then… his gaze flickers around them, evaluating their surroundings.

“Not here,” he says finally.

Jay whimpers, embarrassingly high, when Jason lifts him; hands braced under his thighs, the curve of his ass.

And Jay— he may not be very tall, but he’s solid; all muscle and pockets of fat, a body honed through years of training.

Jason holds him like he weighs nothing at all.

Even when they climb the stairs, Jason taking them two-by-two, he doesn’t falter. Barely breathes any heavier, even when Jay gives into the urge to start sucking marks onto his neck.

He knows he’s affected. He can feel his pulse, hear the soft hitches in his breathing, but—

His steps never waver.

>> continue on ao3 <<

#jayjay #jason todd #jaycest #red hood #dcu #tauriawritesfanfic #tauriawritessmut #i gave this a read over but i've also been up for over 24 hours (not bc of the fic) so i. may have missed some things #feel free to point typos out to me xD #lovely anons #asks and answers #also i love this one a lot so im probs gonna be obnoxious about reblogging it <3

[mollyjeanne615]

Could you please write a song adapting Ted and Charlotte’s conversation/flirting/argument in The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals before he leaves her alone with Sam?

Like… there’s the genuine love between them; their respective issues, fears and unhealthy beliefs getting in the way of it; their regret that they can’t just be happy together while also not taking action to make that happen; the stress of being stuck in an alien zombie apocalypse; Charlotte’s grief over and Ted’s resentment of Sam; and their difficulty actually communicating all the previous things. And of course, the sexual tension. I just think that all of those layers interplaying would make a really good song. Especially since their dynamic wasn’t explored much in the show.

There could even be a coda where Ted, after leaving, muses that he could have done better, but he’s been very careful to never give her reason to expect better from him, so she’ll get over it. They’ll be back to their version of normal soon enough (messy as it is). So he doesn’t need to go back in there and apologize or say some heartfelt shit or anything. Then the final notes are the first ones of “You Tied up My Heart”.

I say this every time but holy SHIT this was fun

So I tried to get as much of this prompt into one song as I could - it doesn't cover the entire scene, so there would be a little bit of dialogue between this and "You Tied Up My Heart," but I think it captures a lot of their relationship and connection. There could also totally be some underscoring from this going into the next song in a full production. (Also this wouldn't be in a full production cause they wouldn't be singing, but I dream.) I also cheated a bit with the orchestrations - I've been trying to make them as playable by the original bands of the shows as possible, but for this I switched out the bass part for a second guitar cause why not. There's a little bit of "Time Bastard" in the opening synth part, and there's a pretty big motif/reprise/stolen chord progression in the bridge of the song - I was trying to think of other Hatchetfield songs relating to Spankoffski stories and sexual temptation and all that, and I think this one did the trick lol. I'm super proud of the demo for this one - it came out somewhere between "Dead Girl Walking" from Heathers and "D.O.A." from The Lightning Thief, and I'm really in love with it. Hope y'all enjoy!

In the Worst Way

CHARLOTTE: Ted!  I can’t believe you’re thinking about that at a time like this, the whole world could be coming to an end!

TED: Yeah.  Exactly.  The whole world’s gone to shit and you’re worried about what someone else might think about you?

CHARLOTTE: Well, when you put it like that…

TED:

You think you’re such a good, good girl You pick your nails, you hide your stress But it’s the end of the fucking world So you can afford to decompress

You put your image on a throne You crumple underneath the crown But you need to grow a backbone Before it breaks you down

You’ve been in bed with a scumbag But baby, can’t you see You have a chance to upgrade To a sleazeball like me

So if I’m dying tonight I’ve got a great way to cap off my life I’ll be going out doing the thing I love Screwing around with another man’s wife Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

CHARLOTTE: Oh, you’re such a horny bastard.

TED: Always have been, always will be.

CHARLOTTE:

My body’s telling me to run My mind is saying you’re no good But I need something just for fun So I guess I probably should

I’ve wished upon so many stars To be more confident and crude So I’ll embrace the love that’s ours With a badass attitude

TED: Okay!

CHARLOTTE:

There’s something in my gut that says You might still be alright Cause I need someone to love me Before we bite the dust tonight

So if I’m dying today I’m gonna let you lead me astray I might be meeting my maker pretty soon So I’ll get down on my knees and pray Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

TED:

Ooh, I want you in the worst way, yeah

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

My happiness is coming first, I won’t be on my own Let all those without sin cast the first stones I’ll do all I can so you’ll never be alone At least until we kick the bucket

CHARLOTTE:

But should I just stick with the devil I know

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

Well, you know what, fuck it!

They make out passionately as a rocking electric guitar solo backs them up.

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

So if I’m dying right now I’ll spend this moment breaking a vow There’s nowhere else I need to be And I needed a little break anyhow Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say Yeah, let me say I want you in the worst way

TED:

Let’s let the chips fall where they may

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

I want you in the worst way

CHARLOTTE:

My husband’s brains fell out today

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

I want you in the worst way Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

They kiss again on the button of the song.

#team starkid #starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #ted spankoffski #Charlotte sweetly #most of the time when I write these I'm like “it would be cool if people from starkid saw this eventually but I don't need them to” #but HOLY SHIT I want Joey and Jaime to sing this

[sparklepocalypse]

Thanks for the tag, @kiwiana-writes! I swear I meant to do this earlier than, y'know, today, but uh. (gestures at Mother Nature)

The tag... she is open. Do your thing, if you want!

Writing Round-Up: there are no rules, but the general idea is this: give a summary of everything you published in the calendar year.

I basically had to summarize my summaries here. Do you know how much I hate writing summaries? Do you? I always use a quote from my fic as the summary for a reason. 😂

January

Nothin'.

February

Nada.

March

Zilch.

April

Still no.

May

What, you thought there'd be something here?

June

You probably know the answer to this one.

July

No.

August

I watched the RWRB movie, after having read the book a year or more before. Things began to mentally percolate.

September

I read literally every completed RWRB fic rated E or M on AO3... and then remembered Kinktober was a thing, and, for the first time in a dozen years...

October

OCT 1 | Temperature's Up, 'Bout to Erupt | E | 1,249 words Kinktober day 1: leather; expanded take on the movieverse polo scene.

OCT 2 | My Lips, They are Yours and Not Mine | E | 2,529 words Kinktober day 2: roleplay; Henry's always wanted to roleplay as a brooding regency gentleman whose lover has returned from the war.

OCT 3 | One Breath, It'll Just Break It | E | 3,581 words Kinktober day 3: hate sex; AU in which Alex is legal counsel for the Okonjo Foundation and Henry is a former prince and the foundation's biggest benefactor.

OCT 4 | Take it Down Low / Make Me Get High | E | 2,092 words Kinktober day 4: rimming; Alex eats Henry's ass until Henry cries. That's it; that's the fic. (This eventually became part 2 of a trifecta of filth that I named The Key to My Body.)

OCT 5 | When the Heat is On | E | 4,057 words Kinktober day 5: sweat; Henry whisks Alex away to a Finnish cabin for ice skating, saunas, and lovemaking.

OCT 6 | Take a Trip Into My Garden | E | 3,308 words Kinktober day 6: sex pollen; Henry's family has a Viagra orchid in their conservatory. Alex touches it. (This eventually became part 1 of my series, Bloom.)

OCT 7 | Got So Much to Show Ya | M | 1,150 words A coda to "Take a Trip Into My Garden"; the morning after. (Part 2 of Bloom.)

OCT 7 | In The Low Lamp Light, I Was Free | E | 3,156 words Kinktober day 7: virginity; there were two condom wrappers on the floor in the Paris scene of the movie; my take on what happened with the second one.

OCT 8 | What's Symbiotic Will Always Be | E | 2,622 words Kinktober day 8: breeding; three times Henry didn't ask Alex to fuck him raw, and one time he did.

OCT 9 | Down On My Knees; Wanna Take You There | E | 7,787 words Kinktober day 9: glory hole; AU in which Alex is a Ren Faire knight and Henry is the Ren Faire king, and there's a glory hole in the changing rooms.

OCT 10 | Give Me Your Confession | E | 2,055 words Kinktober day 10: fucking machines; Alex finds a photo of Henry in leather pants and gets all subby about it.

OCT 11 | I Want to Be Every Button You Press | E | 3,717 words Kinktober day 11: mirror sex; there were smudges on the mirror in the DNC hotel scene in the movie. (Part 1 of The Key to My Body.)

OCT 12 | Don't Overthink When You Could Be Lovin' Me | E | 2,110 words Kinktober day 12: costumes; sometime post-canon, Alex and Henry are invited to Heidi Klum's annual Halloween party. Alex brings two costumes; one of them is Xerxes from 300.

OCT 13 | You're So Attractive; How Did That Happen | E | 1,987 words Kinktober day 13: size difference; three things about Alex that make Henry feel wonderfully small, and one thing that doesn't.

OCT 14 | What I Need Tonight | E | 3,514 words Kinktober day 14: selfcest; a temporal folding M/M/M AU in which young Henry, in the midst of his Oxford slut phase, shows up in the bathroom of post-canon Henry's bedroom when Alex is visiting.

OCT 15 | Amazed at How We Talk (Once, Successfully) | E | 8,782 words Kinktober day 15: identity porn; what if Cakegate doesn't happen because Alex, pissy about being snubbed by Henry in the receiving line, gets drunk and goes on Grindr instead?

OCT 16 | Tug On My Shirt Now, I Can't Speak | E | 1,177 words Kinktboer day 16: public sex; Alex and Henry are stuck in traffic en route to an event. Alex helps Henry get over some anxiety with his lack of a gag reflex. That’s it. That’s the fic.

OCT 17 | Blame My Poor Romantic Mind for the Mess We Made | E | 1,570 words Kinktober day 17: body calligraphy; Henry writes homoerotic poetry on Alex's skin and then tops him.

OCT 18 | Side Effects of Wanting You Kick In | E | 2,613 words Kinktober day 18: spanking; Alex and Henry spend the Fourth of July at the lake house. A horsefly precipitates the discovery of a new kink.

OCT 19 | Can't Hide It, My Face Says What's Inside | E | 1,744 words Kinktober day 19: uniforms; the one in which Alex wears a French maid uniform and Henry loses his goddamn mind.

OCT 20 | Don't Want to Worry 'Bout Whatever | E | 2,280 words Kinktober day 20: foodplay; a follow-up to "Amazed at How We Talk (Once, Successfully)" in which Henry and Alex remember the bucket of cake.

OCT 20 | When I Met You (I Could Not Speak) | T | 2,933 words A RWRB take on The Frog Prince. Henry flees to the countryside after he's forced to fake-date yet another woman, and meets a frog who's more than he appears.

OCT 21 | If We're Caught in a Wave (I Will Carry You Over) | E | 5,944 words Kinktober day 21: tentacles; Alex rents a remote beach house where he meets Henry, who is a cecaelia.

OCT 22 | How You Want to See All the Depths of Me | E | 1,458 words Kinktober day 22: intercrural sex | bondage; Henry gives Alex an ancient history lesson.

OCT 23 | Soft Shock, Put a Spring in My Step | E | 2,403 words Kinktober day 23: facesitting; Henry eats Alex's ass until Alex incoherently proposes a little. (Part 3 of The Key to My Body.)

OCT 24 | Just Let the Night Go Down | E | 2,254 words Kinktober day 24: oviposition; Alex buys an eggpreg toy on a whim after reading some dirty Star Wars fic, as one does.

OCT 25 | Running on the Music and Night Highs | E | 2,020 words Kinktober day 25: anonymous sex; the night before the Melbourne Climate Conference, Alex goes to an invitation-only club to blow off steam.

OCT 26 | This is Holy Ground (The Flesh I'm Made Of) | E | 3,491 words Kinktober day 26: divinity kink; deities are real and tangible, and Henry seeks one out in his hour of need.

OCT 29 | The Fountains and the Waters | E | 3,197 words Kinktober day 27: trapped in a tight space; the supply closet scene retold in the Bloom universe.

OCT 30 | You'll be Glowing, Chasing Shadows Away | E | 3,350 words Kinktober day 28: cock bulge; five times Alex tries something he's seen on the internet, and one time he involves Henry.

OCT 31 | So Hard to Put You Into Words | E | 1,453 words Kinktober day 29: vanilla sex; an interlude after everyone's favorite unscripted movie scene in Kensington Palace.

November

NOV 3 | Slide, Crawl into the Shades of Light | E | 4,851 words Kinktober day 30: overstimulation; Alex and Henry are doing the transcontinental couple life thing, and Henry's had a shit week. Alex gives him several orgasms about it.

NOV 8 | Back, Bring it Back | E | 1,289 words A soulmate AU futurefic that pivots away from canon after Alex storms the castle. (Written for the prompt soulmates + exes + "you confuse me.")

NOV 19 | On My Mind (Let's Go) | E | 10,751 words A movieverse New Year's Eve fix-it in which Henry gets his damn kiss. And then some.

NOV 24 | I'd Wanna Be Felled By You, Held By You | E | 2,310 words Henry wears Alex's clothes at the lake house. Alex acts accordingly.

December

DEC 3 | So I Will Weather the Storm | E | 9,804 words Canon divergence in which Cakegate happens, but Henry is in the RAF so the PR campaign does not happen. Some months later, Alex does something dumb on a mountain in Scotland.

DEC 10 | Sip You Like Cosmic Juice | E | 3,122 words What if everything's the same, except Henry's sport of choice is rugby? Heavily inspired by fanart.

DEC 25 | Be Worthy Love, and Love Will Come | E | 30,810 words Prince Henry, age 8, writes to Father Christmas wishing for a best friend. A few weeks later, he finds one. A partially epistolary slow-burn love story ranging seventeen years.

#red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #alex x henry #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry hanover stuart fox #my fic #rwrb #rwrb movie #honestly i was giggling aloud while i was setting up january through september in this post

[wikiangela]

✨ 2023 writing round-up ✨

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon <3

I posted 22 fics this year (including the multi-chapter fic I started last december) and 21 of those were 911, and 20 were buddie lol the very first fic was the ending of my sambucky era (or a pause, I might go back who knows) and then buddie fully took over

idk what it was about this year, bc I've been writing buddie since march 2021, but now it's like the only thing I write haha

putting all the fics i've written this year under the cut bc it got loooong haha - clearly, march this year was big for me, so many fics haha

January

June 14th, 2025 (I've been waiting for you my whole life) Sambucky, T, 3.5k

A year after getting engaged, Sam and Bucky get married. A little oneshot that takes place after the events of my fic "sounds like an angel (he might be a demon)".

___

March

The one with groceries and bad coffee buddie, G, 1.3k

It’s fucking coffee, of all things, that finally does it. Or, Buck buys Eddie's favorite brand of coffee for his loft, and Eddie's brain short-circuits, leading to a realization.

Fine buddie, 1.6k

Eddie’s foot feels heavy on the gas pedal, while his hands grip the steering wheel tightly, to prevent them from shaking. He’s driving almost on autopilot, while trying his best to compartmentalize and focus on just getting to the hospital, trying not to think about Buck- about what’s happening in the back of the ambulance right now. Or, after the drive to the hospital after Buck's hit by lightning, Eddie loses it. Sort of 6x10 coda.

don't know what I'd do if your tomorrow never came buddie, 1.9k

He can’t help but think that this is some kind of sick joke from the universe, which he doesn’t believe but he knows Buck would. “The universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen” is what Buck said once, it feels like a lifetime ago. He didn't believe it, then, either. And now the universe is mocking Eddie, having him have to tell their kid about Buck, just like Buck had to tell him about the shooting. Eddie doesn’t know how Buck did it, how he had the strength, because he’s on the verge of breaking down and shattering into a million little pieces. Or, Eddie goes home to tell Christopher about Buck getting hurt.

we got time (but we're only human) buddie, 1.6k

“We got time, Eds.” Buck chuckles. “Not enough.” Eddie’s voice breaks a little. Buck squeezes his hand. “We almost ran out of time, and I can’t just wait until it happens again, Buck. Besides, life is short. We’ll never really have enough time, because a lifetime with you wouldn’t be enough." Or, Buck wakes up from his coma, and Eddie, done with wasting time, confesses his feelings.

I can't love you any more (than I do now) buddie, G, 2.6k

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating and kind of living together. Neither acknowledges it, until Eddie finally does.

I don't mind a detour (as long as I still get to be yours) buddie, G, 1.4k

Buck falls asleep on Eddie's couch. Eddie has feelings about it.

___

April

me and you only equals love buddie, E, 6.6k

“What would you say,” Eddie brings one of his hands to Buck’s face, traces his jaw, feather-light, barely there touch, and hears Buck take a shaky breath, eyes wide with something like awe not leaving Eddie’s face, “if I wanted to kiss you? Just hypothetically.” OR, Eddie is horny and in love, and after the poker date, he finally kisses Buck - and things unfold from there. aka my first smut lol

you're the one I want buddie, G, 1.4k

“You know there’s only one person I’m interested in.” “And who might that be?” Buck leans back against the counter with a goofy grin, and Eddie wants to just go over there and kiss him. “Just my best friend I’m kind of hopelessly in love with.” Eddie shrugs, and enjoys seeing how Buck’s whole face gets red. OR, no one knows that Eddie and Buck are dating, Pepa tries to set Eddie up on dates, and Buck finds it amusing.

kiss it better buddie, G, 1.5k

Buck burns his tongue, Eddie makes a joke, and everything changes.

stuck with each other buddie, G, 2.5k

Buck's new fixation is buying unnecessary kitchen gadgets that end up in Eddie's kitchen, they all cook together, and Eddie can't keep his feelings in check.

I'm free in salt water (embrace the deep end, leave everything) maddie fic, 612 words

Sobbing, Maddie got up and, fully clothed, stepped into the ocean. Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful. OR, What was going through Maddie's mind as she walks into the ocean? (wrote this one when i was bored in class in college about a year before I posted this and idk if I like it tbh but it's posted haha)

___

May

I'd marry you with paper rings  buddie, G, 3.4k

“If we’re not married by the time we’re, like, forty, we should just marry each other.” he chuckles, and downs the rest of his beer. And Eddie… Eddie knows it’s a joke. Obviously. It can’t be anything but. But still, it does something to him. He’s thought about it, fantasized about it, but hearing it from Buck, even jokingly… “Why wait?” his tone is also teasing. He can play it off as a joke, while still looking for Buck’s reaction, for any indication about how he feels. (...) “Let’s just do it now and get it over with.” Or, Buck makes a joke that leads to an unplanned marriage proposal.

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? buddie, G, 2.9k

Buck spends time with Eddie and Chris, and for some reason finds himself incapable of telling Natalia, which leads to some realizations.

what a mighty good man  buddie, G, 3.4k

Buck loses his phone, and Eddie calls him to help him find it - but he does not expect the ringtone Buck has set for him.

___

June

me, you, our kid and a dog buddie, G, 4.7k

Buck and Chris try to convince Eddie to get a dog, while not even living together. It leads to more unexpected changes than Eddie could ever imagine.

___

July

you been looking for love (let me show you how it's done) buddie, E, 12.2k

“Are you-” he frowns, the confusion somehow winning with the urge to just lean in and kiss him so thoroughly he’ll forget about any other kiss he might’ve shared with any dates. “Are you doing all this on purpose?” “Doing what?” Eddie tilts his head, licks his lips, and – Buck’s almost a hundred percent sure – drops his gaze to Buck’s lips for a second. “Eddie.” Buck takes a deep breath, and wants so badly to kiss the smirk off of Eddie’s face. “Please.” “What for?” “You’re driving me insane.” he whispers, nails digging into his palms to prevent himself from reaching out. But Eddie’s thigh is pressed against his, and somehow his hand is on Buck’s knee now, and Eddie’s looking at him in such a way, that it makes Buck hot all over – or, hotter, his palms are sweating, actually. “And I feel like you are doing it on purpose.” or, Eddie is a tease, Buck is horny and jealous of Eddie dating, and a regular evening takes an unexpected turn.

___

August

For a holiday (and forevermore) buddie, M, 95k, 30 chapters

Eddie's sick of personal, intrusive questions about his love life whenever he visits his family, so he starts bringing Buck for the holidays as his (fake) boyfriend. He only wants to shut them up, and doesn't expect that the small crush he has on his best friend could actually turn into something more... (my baby fake dating holiday fic <3)

I could get lost in the feelings (just say that you belong to me) buddie, E, 15k

“Wait, wha- how- how do you feel about me?” Buck asks, his voice quiet and almost hesitant. “Buck, really? Isn’t it obvious? Do I have to spell it out for you?” Eddie sighs, eyes finally locking with Buck’s. “I think I’d like you to.” he whispers, eyes wide. “Just so I- just so I’m sure.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Eddie mutters, and then, frustrated and sad, and angry, he takes the few steps separating him from Buck, grabs his face with both hands, and crashes their lips together. Or, Buck's going on a date, Eddie's so jealous he finally snaps and reveals his feelings, which leads to a passionate evening in Buck's kitchen. aka the possessive smut which might be one of my fave fics ever haha

___

September

baby, you drive me wild buddie, E, 10.9k

He places his left hand on Buck’s thigh now, and Buck’s smirk just grows. “Eddie, I’m driving.” he says mock-scolding, but he chuckles breathily, as Eddie shifts in his seat, angling more towards Buck, taking his right hand and very lightly moving it along Buck’s inner thigh, following the seam of his jeans, until he gets to his dick. “Pull over, then.” he hears his own hoarse voice, as his hand grips Buck’s also already hard dick, getting a gasp out of him, his left hand still on Buck’s thigh digging its fingers into the leg. He really doesn’t think he can wait until they get home. “Eddie.” Buck shakes his head slightly, eyes not leaving the road. “We’re not gonna have sex on the side of the road.” Or, Buck and Eddie have car sex on the side of the road. one of my absolute favorite fics I've written and i think my fave smut ngl haha

___

October

the next best thing buddie, E, 9k

And, look, Eddie could say that it’s all good, delete the message, and pretend it never happened. Except, the more he looks, the more turned on he gets, and his hand starts stroking his dick through the fabric, and- and his mind is clouded by arousal and jealousy, and such strong feeling of possessive want, he’s not thinking when he throws the covers away, takes a picture of his bulge, cock hard and leaking, a wet spot visible on his underwear, and sends it to Buck in response, with a text that says ‘no worries, I liked it. fuck, I want that gorgeous cock all to myself’. It’s so unlike him, he’d never even taken a nude picture before now, but- but this is Buck, who makes some sort of crazy possessive beast roar to life in his chest, and has his body screaming at him to do something, anything to get Buck’s attention on him, instead of whoever the hell was on the receiving end of the messages leading to that one. ‘HOLY SHIT’ is what he gets back, and not even two seconds later, Buck’s calling him. Or, Buck accidentally sends a nude and a spicy text to Eddie - things escalate from there.

___

November

I wanna spend my forever like that buddie, G, 8.6k

Eddie catches a cold and stubbornly denies he's sick, while a fondly exasperated Buck is trying to take care of him.

____

Writing Round-Up: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones your most excited about.

no pressure tags: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @underwater-ninja-13 @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @pirrusstuff @fortheloveofbuddie

#2023 writing round-up #writing round-up #tag games #i wrote so much at in march-april-may and then there's a decline lmao #self recs #i love most of the fics on here ngl #this year has been good when it comes to writing #clearly the lightning got to me lmao how did i write so much about it #this is so long lmao but ill never pass an opportunity to self rec sns 🙈

[adiosalasrosas]

NINE INCH NAILS [TRENT REZNOR] INTERVIEW:

Explains the process of writing "HURT"

What I was concerned about when I wrote the Downward Spiral record was being a self-centred destructive force. The point was tearing down everything in a search for something else. I had a little experiment in my life in my early 20s where I knew what I wanted to do but I was afraid to do it. I was afraid it wouldn’t be any good. I’d always been smart and knew I could get by. But I’d never pushed myself to see what I was capable of because I didn’t have to. Then I thought ‘what would happen if I get rid of all the shit I don’t need?’ I don’t need friends or girls or a band. It was like ‘fuck you’ and I became autonomous and turned inward and found all this hatred and ‘me against the world’ attitude.

And that hatred and isolation found expression in your music?

I found I could turn that into something. Instead of punching the wall and having my hand hurt, I could write it down. Strangely things came out of that seemed to have this catharsis. There was a beautiful element to it and it made me feel good. So I decided to keep doing that. When I wrote The Downward Spiral in 1993 I was five or six years into that experiment and it still worked.

The record was exploring a narrative about someone who systematically examines every aspect of their life and then destroys it on a path to trying to find some other solution. I’d started with that theme and fitted songs into the storyline, dealing with religion and sex and drugs and the record ended with some sort of conclusion that could have been suicide, but certainly wasn’t a positive place.

The one song on that record that doesn’t fit that description was Hurt, How did you write Hurt, which Johnny Cash famously covered…

The video he made of that song was overwhelming. When I saw it the power and beauty of music struck me in a really profound way. I was at a point in my life when I was really unsure if I was any good or if I had anything to say. The song came out of a really ugly corner of my mind and turned into something with a frail beauty. And then several years later an icon from a completely different world takes the song and juxtaposes himself into it in a way that seems more powerful to me than my own version. I was flattered as an artist and as a human being they could do that with my song. And it came at a very insecure time in my life and it felt like a nudge and boost and a hug from God. It said ‘everything’s OK and the world is bigger than what’s just in my head.’

So how did you write Hurt?

I wrote that after I thought the record was finished. It happened in a day or so and I hadn’t planned on it being on the record or on making a song as gentle or delicate or that. I was uneasy about putting it on the album because that song felt like I was saying I needed help. I wouldn’t admit that to myself but when I wrote it I felt like I was sitting in a pile of rubble and there was a hint of regret and remorse. Hurt was the first inclination for me that I could use a hand here. The Downward Spiral

album was a record all about beating everybody up – and then Hurt was like a coda saying may be I shouldn’t have done that. But to make the song sound impenetrable because I thought it was a little too vulnerable, I tried to layer it in noise.

That seems to be a bit of a theme with your work with Nine Inch Nails…

Well a lot of what I’ve done as Nine Inch Nails has been governed by fear. I was trying to keep the songs in a framework that was tough and I learnt a lot from Jesus and Mary Chain about how to bury nice pop songs in unlistenable noise – the idea being if you can get behind that wall you find there’s a pearl inside. That’s where my head was at.

What was behind the lyric when you wrote it? The ’empire of dirt’ was presumably the whole junkie lifestyle…

Interestingly enough, when I wrote the song I had no idea what was in store for me. I wrote the album about somebody who follows this path who was an extension of me. But it was in my head. I hadn’t actually lived it. Then later I lived it. I didn’t realise the record was a premonition. I was using the metaphor of drugs at the forefront of what was going on. But I wasn’t a junkie. Later I became one, but I didn’t know there was an addict in me that just hadn’t bloomed out of the dirt yet.

So that whole album became a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Yes. Oddly enough, that album began my own personal plummet into the depths of addiction and finding out my way doesn’t work and that I needed people and help every once in a while and I am human after all. That’s why the records since then have taken such a long time. On 1999’s The Fragile I was still lying to myself about what was really happening.

You developed a reputation for excess that was excessive even by rock’n’roll standards…

Even when you come to the end of a destructive phase of writing all those songs like that , it sticks with you. It’s not like I could say ‘I’m done writing, I’m now going to go out there and be normal.’ In my life I was always floating around the edge of the dark side and saying what if take it a little bit too far and who says you have to stop there and what’s behind the next door. Maybe you gain a wisdom from examining those things. But after a while you get too far down in the quicksand.

So how did you clean-up?

Very simple. In 2001 when we finished touring, I realised ‘you’re going to die unless you stop’. Your friend just died and there’s no more way forward You get your shit together or your die. It’s tough when you think you’re smart. I’d seen people and said ‘I’ll never be that fucking bad. I’m too smart to be an addict.’ Yet I became something I never thought I could be. It was a gradual realisation but there was a definite point where if I had any molecule of sanity left, I couldn’t deny what was right in front of my face.

Do you have to reach a point of self-loathing to take that decision to change?

You do loathe yourself because you’ve lost all self-respect. I remember thinking ‘What’s the point? I’ve had everything I ever wanted in my life and I’m vomiting in the sink again. How did that happen?’ So yes, I hated myself.

Is the new record, ‘Halo 19: With Teeth’, a chronicle of your recovery?

I hope it’s not that boring. I didn’t want to be preachy. But I can’t deny it was a huge thing behind the record. Every aspect of my life changed. I decided I would do anything not to be in this shape. I thought ‘let me not try to bend the rules and just take it easy and not think about making a record.’ I spent time sitting on a couch, feeling OK, reading a book, pursuing friendships and not wanting to jump out the window. I spent a couple of years just trying to feel OK with myself and not always to be in a white-knuckle state of despair. And I succeeded. I felt my whole life up until that point had been swimming against the current. I came to realise what I was fighting for didn’t make sense any more.

But how does that impact on your creativity? If you’re felling OK and pretty contended with your life, does that make for good music?

I don’t remember particularly needing to be fucked up to write music. But I don’t remember not being fucked up when I was writing music. But by the end I couldn’t write a song because I was high and I felt like my head was stuffed full of cardboard. I had nothing interesting to say. And when I started this record, which was Jan 2004, it felt like there were a million ideas stuck in my head that were finally able to come out. I found I could pursue an idea down its course, whereas before I’d get two bends down the road and I’d forget what I was doing. It was so empowering to feel I could think again. It feels pretty good to be able to look at fresh experiences with a new clarity. Because I’d lost that. I’m not just trying to be the positive ex-junkie guy and I hate to be preachy. But what I’ve gained is so much more than what I’ve had to give up.

#trent reznor #hurt #nine inch nails

[onboardsorasora]

hiii I was reading Reclamation which is my favorite fic btw

And I wanted to ask you, because in the story Victoria said something like “so you’re talking and not going away to duck like on your first date” SO HOW WAS THEIR FIRST DATE HOW DID THEY MEET?

Hey Bestie!!! 🥰🥰 this makes me so happy 😭

Omg, So in true Sora fashion, I dropped everything and opened a google doc 😅 I got like 500 words in and was like 'lets not rush this maybe.' It took a lot of willpower but I stopped writing lmao.

I'll probably actually flesh out a first meeting/first date coda when I have some time.

BUT, all that to say: I HAVE thought about it lmao. I'll put it under the cut

So we know they met through Charles. Jules and Daniel swung by Charles' to pick something up and Max was there. Max asks Daniel out first but Daniel chose the date. I feel like that would be their dynamic upfront. Max taking initiative and Daniel filing in the gaps.

The date is actually party- Daniel chose it because Charles wouldn't stop bitching and moaning that they can't date and Daniel figured a party is a low key, low stakes way to find out if things can work out and if not then its a party! Fun can still be had!

Charles is an equal opportunity bitch and moaner so he complains to Max while he's getting ready. This is what I actually wrote lol here's a snippet:

“Charles, are you really just gonna sit there and not help me?” Max was exasperated. Charles was exasperating. “No! I was serious when I was saying I wouldn’t help you! Mate, this is like technically incest or something– you can’t go on a date with Daniel!” Max rolled his eyes as he sprayed some cologne on his chest. Charles was being dramatic as usual. “Factually, it's not incest. None of us are related.” Max pointed out, just to be a little shit. He snickered when he heard Charles’ annoyed groan. “Max, you can’t go out with him, he’s like my uncle!” Max pulled out a crisp white v neck and shrugged it on, he was hellbent on ignoring Charles right now. His point was moot; he asked Daniel out, Daniel said yes and they were going to a party tonight. End of story. “You don’t even like Daniil.” Charles tried a different tactic, Max snorted a laugh. “No, I don’t like Esteban. I don’t know Daniil. But apparently he throws good parties.” Max shrugged. He turned to look at his pouting best friend. “How do I look?”  Charles sneered at Max’s basic white tee, blue jeans and sneaker combo. “You look basic as hell. Please do not put on a cap!” Charles snapped when Max started reaching for his favourite wide brimmed cap. “Sure sure, fine fine. No cap.” He conceded.

They get to the party and maxiel does that thing they do where they forget other people exist in the world for the first time. Charles is worried because he sees the signs that its actually going well. Then he loses them.

Max and Daniel are probably chatting on their own for an hour tops before Max kisses Daniel. Then Daniel drags him to his SUV that's parked further up the street from where Charles had parked, and they fuck in the backseat.

Then they go back to the party and giggle and make eyes and be gross the whole night. Daniel takes Max home because that's the clear path here and that's how they got together. They fucked around for a month or so before actually having a conversation about it and then they were together for three years before the horrorsTM 😅😅

#Hope this works Bestie lol. Thanks so much for asking!! #Now I really do wanna write this coda #reclamation #2wrecked2furious #max/daniel #maxiel

[moogghost]

happy three years to pmtok! it's been almost two whole years since i first got into it and my obsession with the goofy office supplies still shows no sign of stopping any time soon (i was gonna do another quick thing of harlow and coda after the olly and olivia one but alas i have work today so </3)

(i have. a silly mini essay under the cut just about how funny game impacted me personally that's all it is reading it is totally optional <3)

i think i did this last year too i genuinely cannot remember but i probably did but. once again i cannot stress how much of an impact this game managed to have on me (like. literally. speaking system stuff for a brief moment we have a few pmtok introjects that regularly front lmfao). i didn't get into the game until a few months after the first anniversary, and it was only after listening to some of juno song's lyrical covers of the los themes that i actually got invested enough to watch a playthrough (bc fun fact i did not actually own the game. still don't btw i just haven't gotten around to actually getting it now that i have my own money </3). one thing led me to another and then i ended up sketching the design for my scissors/saxen in the middle of my biology class lol

i've grown to genuinely enjoy writing my los and their lore, and seeing my art and character design improve and change since i first made them - and wanting to share them with people who were also fans of the game was what led me to actually try joining discord servers again for fandoms (i didn't do it or try to make friends in this fandom for several months bc i freshly experienced The Horrors in a previous fandom lol), which i'm glad i decided to do - almost all of the people i consider friends to this day are solely bc of that decision to join funny pmtok discord server despite the anxiety attack i was having at the thought of joining a whole fandom server again

so uh yeah! pmtok genuinely is a game that means a lot to me, despite having never gotten a chance to play it personally for myself lol. i genuinely don't think i would be the same person if i hadn't happened to listen to the juno song's cover of the handaconda boss theme bc i was fucking obsessed with that funny hand snake despite not having that much interest in paper mario prior lol

#pmtok #paper mario #paper mario the origami king #legion of stationery #i was worried i wouldn't finish this before i needed to go to work today bc i don't get out until pretty late so. glad i managed lol #also fun fact i hope you know i was debating not drawing olly at all bc i still don't have a consistent design for him a year later . #didn't have one last year and still don't have a ref this year some things never change #ghost's los #ghost's art

[chaotictarlos]

Pudding Punishment

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: Explicit | Warnings / Tags: 4 x 14 Coda, 4 x 14 "Tongues Out", dom / sub vibes, bottom carlos reyes, teasing, bondage, bondage by rope, use of sex toys, orgasm control, hand jobs, anal fingering, anal sex, m x m smut, m x m sex, bottom carlos reyes

Summary: Carlos faces some fun consequences to stealing the pudding.

Author's Note: I started to write this before the episode even came on and I think that's funny. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! It took me a little longer to write because I was trying something new, which was a lot. Hope you enjoy it!

thank you to @meditating-honey-badger for being amazing and betaing this for me.

My other season 4 fics

---

“And you know what? It was delicious.”

Carlos’ words played on repeat in TK’s mind the entire fucking day after he left the firehouse shortly after Paul called him out for eating his pudding.

It wasn’t what he said, but the way he had said it

The way his voice pitched lower when he said “It was delicious,” like he was telling TK how good he looks spread out on their bed, did things to him. It wasn’t fair for Carlos to use that voice in public like it doesn’t fuck TK up five ways to Sunday when he uses it. TK knows that Carlos did it on purpose. He doesn’t have any proof but he knows he did.

It's the voice that made TK half hard after Carlos left - Nancy and Paul teasing him about it - and is the reason, well one of them, TK decided that Carlos needs to be taught a lesson. He can’t just steal pudding and use that voice without any kind of consequences.

Thankfully, TK gets home before that day because it gives him time to plan, not that he needs much time because he already knows what he’s going to do to Carlos when he gets home. But it’s still fun to think about it, and if TK takes the edge off and takes pictures to show Carlos later - that’s his business.

When Carlos finally walks into the loft later that evening, TK has planted himself by the kitchen counter. He’s leaning against it casually, wearing gray sweatpants and an open plaid shirt, his hair wet. After having fun earlier in the evening, he showered so that he would be nice and clean when Carlos got home.

“So, the pudding,” TK says as soon as Carlos slips off his shoes and tosses the keys into the dish.

READ ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @cowlos-reyes @meditating-honey-badger @paperstorm @otter-love-asl @kiloskywalker @angeltk @firstprince-history-huh @brouill3r3r @sanjuwriteswrites

#chaotic fics #tarlos #tk strand x carlos reyes #tk strand #carlos reyes #tyler kennedy strand #tk x carlos #911 lone star #911 ls #tarlos fan fiction #tk strand fan fiction #carlos reyes fan fiction #4 x 14 #4 x 14 Tongues Out #4 x 14 fic #season 4 fics

[messymindofmine]

For a while now I’ve been trying to get my thoughts on the first four episodes of this season sorted out. I did actually enjoy the arc as a whole. I enjoyed getting to learn more about Carlos’s backstory and I actually enjoyed getting to know Iris better. I think so many of us assumed that Carlos had such a lonely childhood and so it’s nice to know that he had at least one person in his life that he was close to and be himself around.

I think for me the reason why I felt so stressed about it all was actually more down to the fandom reaction to the storyline. I’m not trying to blame anyone here or insult the fandom at all. I actually understand why a lot of people reacted the way they did. But there were things that stressed me out. I didn’t like how so many people just seemed so resistant to the concept of Carlos even having flaws. Carlos has always had flaws, it’s just that for some reason some people always ignored them in favor of lashing out at TK. And I think that right there is why a lot of people who care about TK felt frustrated. Since s1, TK’s worthiness has constantly been questioned and every mistake he has made has been held against him. In s3, ppl kept saying that Carlos should never have taken TK back at all and made him work for it. Mind you, these people completely overlooked the fact that Carlos had bought a house without even discussing it with TK. The thing is, the narrative and Carlos himself seemed to ignore that too. Even Rafa boiled the breakup down to “TK fucking up.” But with this, it feels like the writers didn’t even want to acknowledge that Carlos had even made a mistake. There is never a moment where it’s pointed out to Carlos that he was married for the entirety of his relationship to TK and didn’t tell him. Instead, it’s brushed of bc it wasn’t a real marriage. I think this frustrated a lot of people bc it felt like even when Carlos is unequivocally the one who made a mistake, it’s going ignored. I actually did defend Carlos as much as I possibly could during that arc bc I do understand why he married Iris in the first place and it does fit his character that he didn’t tell TK. I just wish that had been pointed out as wrong the way TK breaking up with Carlos instead of talking to him about the house was. Carlos got to vent his feelings back then yet TK never said a word about how he felt about Carlos keeping that secret and then he constantly blamed himself for Iris going missing and nobody stepped in to tell him it wasn’t his fault.

On the other hand, I didn’t like how people who were understanding of both sides were treated either. I know for a fact that there were people writing entire coda fics that validated TK’s feelings and yet they were being sent messages accusing them of not liking TK. I most certainly did not like how the writers and especially the actors were being left nasty comments to the point where an Instagram post had to be taken down. As much as I loved Ronen, Rafa and Lysney showing each other solidarity, it should never have come to that in the first place. I don’t know what type of comments they were or who they were coming from. I do know that there were people who were just mad that a woman had been brought into the dynamic at all. I know that there were people who just couldn’t stand the idea of Carlos having flaws. I know there were people who, after the first ep, were sending anyone who vented their feelings on their own blog lists of every mistake (both real and imagined) mistake that TK has ever made. I know there were people who went out of their way to blame TK anyway and people who tried to pin the blame on Iris even though she was literally in a state of psychosis for years and was living on the streets. At any rate, whoever it was that left comments on Rafa’s post or sent hate to any of the actors should be ashamed.

Ronen himself touched on this in a post ep 4 interview but it really does seem that ppl forget that TK deals with mental health issues as well and none of this situation was at all easy on him. There’s a reason why Iris likened herself to TK. From the vibe I got, the ppl that were actually hating on Iris for the stuff she said during the dinner didn’t even seem that concerned about TK himself. They just wanted an excuse to hate on Iris. I’ve said before that there is ableism in this fandom that has come into play with how TK is talked about and it definitely feels like it came into play with how Iris was talked about. I know it frustrated a lot of ppl seeing TK’s struggles in this arc being ignored by everyone and even Carlos seemingly blaming him for Iris going missing. Now, I do understand why Carlos reacted the way he did. He was deeply worried, probably blaming himself since this is something he and TK have in common and Iris’s life was in danger. And Carlos has always had a tendency to compartmentalize to the point that it becomes toxic. So I do understand his reaction but I can’t say that I didn’t find it upsetting. I also feel like it led a lot of ppl to be louder about how bad they felt for TK bc they felt that nobody else was going to do it. There were also ppl outright blaming TK and the fact that Ronen made it a point to defend why TK went to Iris shows that the actors do in fact see the stuff fans say. I just hope that after this ppl can recognize that it is possible to understand and sympathize with two characters at the same time and to do so doesn’t mean that you dislike one or the other. I actually do understand (even if I don't necessarily agree with it) the hypersensitivity that some ppl had over TK during this arc bc there’s no denying that there are ppl out there that look for excuses to hate on TK and downplay his feelings. Apparently enough for Ronen to notice. In my experience, ppl who love TK generally love Carlos as well but the same can not always be said the other way around. However, as I already said, this is no reason to go after the ppl who do love both and are just trying to be understanding of both sides. At the end of the day, as far as I can see the majority does love both and that should be what matters. I think there is also the matter of how the anger ppl felt at Carlos was ultimately temporary. Ppl were angry after 401 but they calmed down after 402 when we saw Tarlos being a united team and expressing love for each other. And of course there was the exquisite couch scene. The anger started up again with ep 2 and Carlos’s behavior. The anger at Carlos always felt like a knee-jerk response that I didn’t like but at least it was temporary in the end. For TK on the other hand, ppl have been looking for excuses to hate on him since s1. Going as far as him bringing Lou the lizard home as proof of how he’s not good enough for Carlos.

All of this is something that has really been bothering me especially since there’s people who seem mad that Carlos wasn’t in ep 5 and I truly don’t understand why. I understand wanting more screen time, I always want both guys to have more screen time but I enjoyed the focus on Marjan and I want more for her. Plus we had 4 episodes straight focusing on Carlos where we learned so much about him and a lot of fans even got there wish about seeing him be the one in danger and TK rescue him. That’s actually another thing btw, while I liked ep 4 itself, I didn’t like how ppl were rejoicing at Carlos being hurt bc it would make “TK be the one to worry and show his love in a more obvious way.” Anyway, I don’t understand why some ppl were so mad at Carlos not getting screen time in this ep. I also understand wanting to see acknowledgment of what happened but I feel like it’s ok bc there’s so many brilliant coda fics for that. We didn’t really get any aftermath in the Push arc either but I don’t remember ppl complaining about that. TK was barely in any of the episodes after Push until the end of 307 and he was barely in this ep either. There are about 10 regulars on the show and this is the first time Marjan has had a big storyline so why is it such a bad thing that the focus was temporarily moved a bit? I genuinely don’t understand.  

Anyway, as I said before, I’m not trying to blame anyone or start anything. I just truly needed to get this off my chest so that I can sleep at night. As I said, I did enjoy the storyline overall. More than anything else, I’m just happy to move on from the angst and into the happy wedding-planning era. Personally, I don’t want anymore relationship-related drama. I know Rafa said that what happened in 404 would impact how Carlos dealt with things later on and I hope that means we see growth. I hope that means Carlos realizing that he has things he needs to work on the way TK did after Push. That’s all I want next for Tarlos and for Carlos

#911 on fox #911 lone star #911 lone star s4 #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #iris blake #ronen rubinstein #rafael silva

[littlespoonevan]

i really want to know your opinion on last night's episode! do you think we finally saw Eddie's oh moment? I see a lot of people talking about it and about his heartbreak but I'm not seeing it? like I see eddie upset about what buck is saying, but that could easily be platonic imo, my best friend saying someone else actually sees them? that would make me feel awful, like I'm here??? I see you??? and i get eddie feels lonely as well, but i dont ser that particularly related to him realizing he's in love w buck, idk idk what are your thoughts?

askjdhlf okay. where do i begin??? i should preface by saying i only got a chance to watch the last 25 mins of the ep like an hour and a half ago bc of how long it took for the ep to upload this morning so i'm still very much processing bUT

that cemetery scene was a lot.

to start by answering your question, i don't think we got an oh moment in the deliberate sense?? by that i mean, i don't think this was the show telling the audience "this is it!!!! this is the moment eddie realises he's in love with buck!!!!!" however i do think that scene did A Lot to suggest something big and buddie-related in the pipeline.

something about the tone of it felt very different to what we've gotten previously???? it's most certainly one of the longest conversations they've ever had at 3 minutes uninterrupted. it's also one of their most serious and touched on a wide range of topics (like it felt almost like a post-ep coda fic conversation to me????? askdjfh) and i think it's interesting that twice now in 6b we've had meaningful conversations between them that don't involve chris being brought up. because that's been something i've always said was maybe missing when it came to the possibility of them becoming canon??? we have so many conversations that emphasise buck/eddie/chris as a family but very few conversations between buck and eddie just about them and their friendship/relationship, y'know??

likewise eddie's reaction to natalia was in very stark contrast to the usual way he sort of snarkily comments on buck's relationships. @mellaithwen made the great catch that it paralleled buck talking about ana in 5x02 and it also reminded me of eddie's reaction to abby??? in the way it was this sort of weary-frustrated-resigned combination where he Knows this won't end well for buck and he's maybe a little bit annoyed at buck's lack of regard for himself (in 3x18 bc he's willing risk his own life for abby to save her fiancé even after she left buck the way she did and now with natalia in a 'how can you say she sees you better when the version of yourself you're showing her isn't you' way)

there's also just the big giant elephant in the room where buck is talking about how natalia sees him when eddie is the one who's always Seen him - all the way back to "to be seen to be found, isn't that what we're all searching for?". eddie is the one who constantly validates buck's feelings, who understands his reasons for the choices he makes, who knows exactly what to say to make buck open up. he even does it in this scene!!!!!! when he says "you don't have to be anything for anyone". it felt like a big fat example of dramatic irony tbh

and i think for me, regardless of what happens on the actual show, when it comes to how i write and approach canon in fic that scene acts as confirmation of my favourite headcanon that eddie knows about his feelings but buck has no fucking idea. and while we may or may not ever get real confirmation of that in canon, i think you can for sure read the scene that way without twisting it into something it's not :')

overall, you know i'm the most cautious person alive when it comes to canon buddie but i do genuinely, genuinely feel something has shifted in this scene even if it's not a definitive oh moment for now💛

#anon #asks #911 related #911 spoilers