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#Holy Spirit is my Precious Friend

faithisthekey-23 · 1 year

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Hi dear brothers and sisters, today I represent you my poem about the Holy Spirit. I wrote it yesterday (on 17th May 2023). Have a good time while reading. God bless you :)

Holy Spirit my Best Friend

God Almighty's Holy Spirit is with you

He is here to guide you and can help you to go to Heaven

Where God is waiting for you right with Jesus Christ

Who sits on His throne filled with love waiting for His return

When this time comes, He will return to bring His children home

The same children of His who were faithful

And even in the midst on hardship and persecution did stand firm

Waiting for what is yet to come — in Heaven huge rejoice

A huge rejoice that will make you give you strength, love and peace

For that is all you need — your King of Peace

Who is in Heaven right with Jesus Christ your Savior and God your Heavenly Father

Who reigns now and whose Kingdom lasts forever

Whose power has no limits for He is Almighty

His awesomeness in power wonders people

For no one can understand how He does His miracles

It seems to be something that is mind-blowing

For He can do everything that seems to be impossible

Well, that's our Father Who deserves all the glory

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hijinks-n-lowjinks · 7 months

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fic recs masterlist

since I was thinking about rereading some of my fav fics, here's a massive list of my favorites include haikyuu, jjk, bsd, etc

Haikyuu!

frankenstein's monster by starbeyy: sakuatsu fic where they both are diagnosed with OCD. this is the fic that is my instant rec, it's my roman empire. "you were the first beautiful thing i couldn't stop thinking about"?????????? this is a MASTERPIECE

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu: THE iwaoi fic of all time, permanently altered my brain chemistry, my friend made me a gift of an embroidered hercules beetle and a quote from this fic and it's one of my most prized possessions

The Chosen One by moonyfest: one of my all time favorites, it's just so good and I love how their relationship develops, it's one of the fics that I reread every few months, nsfw in later chapters

Miya Atsumu, Adored By All (loved by some) by honest_pebble: the sakuatsu fic of all time, my inner atsumu kinnie came out while reading this and I cried multiple times while reading it but holy FUCK was it amazing, I reread this every few months as well, I have it downloaded on my phone lol

i wanna ruin our friendship by roseknight: highschool iwaoi fic, one of the first hq fics i ever read and it's very close to my heart because of it, make sure to look at tags for trigger warnings

i'm a house with no windows, you're the flowers on the front porch by miracleboysatori: a phenomenal childhood friends to lovers ushiten fic that has not been given the love it deserves, one of my favorite hq fics of all time, nsfw in later chapters

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya: You've Got Mail au daisuga fic, a ton of background ships that are all super cute, I reread it all the time it's one of my favs!!!!!

the spirit of the resolution by starbeyy: this is my fav sunaosa fic of all time, osamu's complicated relationship with his self esteem really hit me especially when they're getting late night take out, i adore this fic and it's one of my favorites

can i be close to you by radian: kuroken fic where they don't know each other at first but slowly become friends and it's all lowercase but it's so good i promise, super fluffy

Vienna Waits For You by Pouler (poulerslashes): asanoya timeskip fic that's sooooo good in talking about what it's like to grow up and feel the pressure of the world on your shoulders and living up to your potential and expectations, nsfw in later chapters

Black and Blue by MTrash: daisuga au fic, i was obsessed with this fic when i first read it, it's really sad but really good, make sure to look at the tags for trigger warnings, nsfw in later chapters

you're the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) by ghostpot: kuroken fic where kenma realizes he's in love with kuroo and spends the entire fic freaking out about it

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon: tsukkiyama fic where tsukishima realizes he's in love with tadashi before kagehina realize they're in love with each other and it's super cute, all of this author's tsukkiyama fics are so good

Liebesträume (Dream of Love) by emivance: sakuatsu rivals to lovers musican au, their dynamic this entire fic is so funny and they're obviously intro each other but are in deep denial about it, nsfw in later chapters

surfacing by meeks00: bokuaka au where they find out their bfs have been cheating on them with each other, one of my fav bkak fics they're so precious, nsfw in chapters 2 and 3

daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) by gabstar: bokuaka one shot that I am OBSESSED with, the way their relationship speed runs is my favorite aspect of this fic because its exactly what i imagine their relationship doing

Similar Creatures by h_lovely: iwaoi Pretty Woman au that's soooooo good, i really liked how their relationship developed and grew throughout the fic, nsfw all over this fic

Kiss Me (Like You Wanna Be Loved) by kazzydolyn: bokuaka friends w benefits fic where they fall in love with each other at the same time but akaashi doesn't know what to do about it, nsfw

Guiding Stars by daedalust: hiruhoshi fic that y'all will devour once we get more of hoshiumi and hirugami in the anime, they have one of my fav friendships in the series, hirugami is enamored with hoshiumi who asks for dating advice

Behind Bricks by DeathBelle: bokuaka au where akaashi is a sex worker and they become friends but bokuto falls in love with him instantly, a lot of nsfw obviously

Hard Times by mooifyourecows: daisuga au where olympian daichi pays con artist suga to be his fake fiance during a cruise, my FAVORITE daisuga fic ever, i was chomping at the bit for each update, nsfw in later chapters

Valor with Honor, Fealty with Love by radiantradish: daisuga medieval knight au, they slowly fall in love as rivals and it's suuuper cute yet angsty, mild nsfw in later chapters

In the Armpits of Spring by Paintbrushyy_Ducky98: iwaoi au where they meet in high school and oikawa confesses to iwaizumi before they ever really meet, iwaizumi's growing curiosity about oikawa is soooooo cute their relationship is developed really well

The Space Between Stars by leuralo_l: bokuaka fic where everyone but bokuto knows that akaashi is in love with him, I was so impressed with this fic especially since the author said it was their first fic pls give it a read!!!!!!

wait (I'm on my way) by viverella: sunaosa fic where they're both oblivious to each other's affections and are quietly pining, their relationship is super cute and adorable

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl: kyouhaba fic where they bicker but slowly fall for each other during high school along with background iwaoi, i loved this fic it was so good, some mentioned and blatant homophobia

beautiful monsters by gravitates: ushiten fic with slight angst but damn did it make me feel emotional, ushijima is so soft and tender and loving to tendou, another one of my favs

Cool, detached, casual by fluorophoring: kuroken fic where they try to have casual sex but it doesn't really work and they both spiral lol, nsfw

Breakers by ftld: sunaosa 90s au, god I LOVED this fic and how obvious of a simp osamu is, it's sooooo good, some mentioned/blatant homophobia

Special Relativity and Years by buttonstuck: mega angsty iwaoi fics with the second being an alternate ending of the first fic that has a sad, bittersweet ending that made me cry harder than I have in YEARS, some mild nsfw in the first fic

your whole life on your play by emleewrites: kagehina proposal fic that goes exactly how i picture it would go in canon

make up your mind by sketchedsmiles: sunaosa fake dating au where osamu asks suna to be his fake bf in order to one up atsumu who's dating sakusa, i absolutely loved this fic lol

Jujutsu Kaisen

Caesura by cielelyse: suuuuuuch a good rivals to friends to lovers satosugu fic about their first year in jujutsu high together and the mission that made them friends, probably my fav jjk fic ever

And every day, it's changed since then. by BotanicalBites: inuokka college au where yuuta is an artist trying to escape from his growing fame in the country and meets farmer inumaki

What Instinct Can't Teach by kiyokosturtle: chosoyuki and it's sooooo good how to author develops their relationship before the smut lol, nsfw in the last chapter

The Long Con by lyrebirdswrites: an itafushi no curses au that isn't finished yet but is soooooo good, this fic is currently being plagiarized by another author so it's on hiatus for now but I'm hoping the original author gets everything worked out!!!!

Bungo Stray Dogs

where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows: soukoku yakuza au, this is by far the best bsd fic i've read so far, their relationship is just so believable and their characters are wonderful, nsfw

the art of burning bridges by sanguinekitten: soukoku fic from chuuya's perspective about different times in their lives together, it's so good

i think he knows by sanguinekitten: soukoku 5+1 fic where dazai knows that chuuya loves him but the latter refuses to admit it

Threats Made in a Hotel Room by moonrice (moonyeyes): soukoku fic where dazai pisses of chuuya so much they start making out

A Lesson in Thorns by arkastadt: soukoku beast au fic where they're in an arranged marriage and slowly fall in love, similar premise to where your loyalties lie but an entirely different plot, I still have ten chapters left but I'm really enjoying it so far, nsfw

Miscellaneous

i'll be your biggest kept secret and your biggest mistake by sascake: mha tododeku fic that I instantly fell in love with, the way the author writes both of them is so well done, not finished yet, mild nsfw mention

sore must be the storm by Pouler (poulerslashes): mha tododeku fic where they're trapped in a collapsing building and they have a deep talk about their lives

Until my Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya: yoi viktuuri au fic that I binged like crazy, yuuri and viktor's first interaction goes differently and yuuri is determined to hate viktor, nsfw in later chapters

seraph's nest by phile: csm akiangel fic where they slowly become friends and fall in love with each other over the course of the manga's plot

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journeytothewestresearch · 8 months

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PSA - Don't Treat JTTW As Modern Fiction

This is a public service announcement reminding JTTW fans to not treat the work as modern fiction. The novel was not the product of a singular author; instead, it's the culmination of a centuries-old story cycle informed by history, folklore, and religious mythology. It's important to remember this when discussing events from the standard 1592 narrative.

Case in point is the battle between Sun Wukong and Erlang. A friend of a friend claims with all their heart that the Monkey King would win in a one-on-one battle. They cite the fact that Erlang requires help from other Buddho-Daoist deities to finish the job. But this ignores the religious history underlying the conflict. I explained the following to my acquaintance:

I hate to break it to you [name of person], but Erlang would win a million times out of a million. This is tied to religious mythology. Erlang was originally a hunting deity in Sichuan during the Han (202 BCE-220 CE), but after receiving royal patronage during the Later Shu (934-965) and Song (960-1279), his cult grew to absorb the mythos of other divine heroes. This included the story of Yang Youji, an ape-sniping archer, leading to Erlang's association with quelling primate demons. See here for a broader discussion. This is exemplified by a 13th-century album leaf painting. The deity (right) oversees spirit-soldiers binding and threatening an ape demon (left).

Erlang was connected to the JTTW story cycle at some point, leading to a late-Yuan or early-Ming zaju play called The God Erlang Captures the Great Sage Equaling Heaven (二郎神鎖齊天大聖). In addition, The Precious Scroll of Erlang (二郎寳卷, 1562), a holy text that predates the 1592 JTTW by decades, states that the deity defeats Monkey and tosses him under Tai Mountain. So it doesn't matter how equal their battle starts off in JTTW, or that other deities join the fray, Erlang ultimately wins because that is what history and religion expects him to do. And as I previously mentioned, Erlang has royal patronage. This means he was considered an established god in dynastic China. Sun Wukong, on the other hand, never received this badge of legitimacy. This was no doubt because he's famous for rebelling against the Jade Emperor, the highest authority. No human monarch in their right mind would publicly support that. Therefore, you can look at the Erlang-Sun Wukong confrontation as an established deity submitting a demon.

I'm sad to say that my acquaintance immediately ignored everything I said and continued debating the subject based on the standard narrative. That's when I left the conversation. It's clear that they don't respect the novel; it's nothing more than fodder for battleboarding.

I understand their mindset, though. I love Sun Wukong more than just about anyone. I too once believed that he was the toughest, the strongest, and the fastest. But learning more about the novel and its multifaceted influences has opened my eyes. I now have a deeper appreciation for Monkey and his character arc. Sure, he's a badass, but he's not an omnipotent deity in the story. There is a reason that the Buddha so easily defeats him.

In closing, please remember that JTTW did not develop in a vacuum. It may be widely viewed around the world as "fiction," but it's more of a cultural encyclopedia of history, folklore, and religious mythology. Realizing this and learning more about it ultimately helps explain why certain things happen in the tale.

#sun wukong #monkey king #journey to the west #jttw #Erlang #Erlang shen #Buddhism #Taoism #Chinese mythology #Chinese religion

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turbofanatic · 15 days

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I don't have like, firm plans for a big Links meetup but it's fun to speculate about. Especially the reunion of the Links that fought in the War of Eras (this includes the Link made for Hyrule Warriors 2014, Link from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, Link from Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass, and Link from Spirit Tracks. Technically WW, PH, and ST Link are kind of the same warrior in that game but with different weapons so I'm separating them).

In a horrible yet hilarious way, taking Hyrule Warriors somewhat seriously means that the War of Eras had lots of child soldiers on the good side. HW Link was only 16 when shit hit the fan, and went from recruit-in-training to Hyrule's holy symbol and the subject of a mad sorceress's obsession. Nobody would handle that well. And while at least he was older than the other Links that show up, WW/PH is the only experienced Link who believes in Hyrule (I think ST Link has a dim view of the backwards country he's stuck in) and is somewhat emotionally mature (OoT/MM is ten years old and watched the world end multiple times, he's barely hanging on himself). Which means that WW/PH Link, at 14 years old, is the one best situated to get things done.

Except, well you try to have a 14 year old order around a 16 year old that's been told he's chosen by God. It will not go well. Nothing is as dysfunctional as the excellent Call Them Brothers fanfic, but oh wow yeah they are all doing badly.

If they did reunite years later, Tiny would forgive everything. He can't stay mad at kids and animals. It's the only way they stay (barely) sane after all. HW Link would not be as forgiving because he's closer in time to his trauma (he's in his late thirties here and the aftereffects of the war went on for a long time), but he's slowly coming to terms with the horrible situation they were all in and is attempting to do better, he's just going to slip up a lot. I don't know about WW/PH and ST Link yet.

So yeah, if they meet up again Tiny is immediately going to try to be friends, except he's poorly socialized and is probably bringing up stuff HW Link wants to forget, and HW Link is probably not setting boundaries because he feels bad about that fact that he used this guy as a war crime when he was sixteen and they were ten. They'll probably blow up at each other at some point. Maybe they'll work their shit out. Maybe not. Would make for a hilarious drunken fight scene though since they're both crazy strong.

Saw an old design for hanging sleeves and I had to give them to HW Link (he's got a good variety of outfits, along with Righty so he'll just be in a lot of different clothes at times). I think he's kind of a fancy guy in general, or at least tries to look like one for political reasons. As far as the nose scar goes, I think he's rather chill about it now. He was probably very distraught initially. Now he's more annoyed that it makes him very recognizable.

Anyways I fucking love old muffin top Hero of Time and bald HW Link. My blorbos. My precious warcrime idiots.

#links meet au #zelda au #bad moon #hero of time #hyrule warriors #hero of warriors

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aphroditestempleimagines · 6 months

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Mortal - Chapter 2

A Geto Suguru x fem!Reader fanfiction

Words: 1871

Warnings: abusive household

Summary: Mimico and Nanako get into a horrible car accident after a drunk night with their friends. Geto is called to the hospital where he discovers you, a human plagued by a cursed spirit, who saved his two precious daughters' lives from the fire.

Chapter info: After the burns you suffered when saving Mimiko and Nanako from the crash, your father, disgusted by your skin, brings you to a temple where a miracle healer is known to work. Little do you know the monk you are meant to meet is none other than Suguru himself.

"They're going to open a new cat cafe in Shibuya!", Nanako excitedly shoved her phone to Mimiko. They sat together in their futons, the floor around them filled with various curiosities Geto had brought to keep them entertained during recovery.

"It looks so cuuuute!", Mimiko squeeled.

"Nanako...", Suguru sighed as he put some of the various books and board games back in their place, "I don't see what's so exciting about a place with so many of those monkeys"

"But it will have so many kittens as well!", Nanako turned the screen of the phone towards him.

Suguru smiled at the small basket of kittens that lay among pink pillows in the middle of the brand-new cafe. Nanako slid her finger on the screen and changed the picture with one of the countless cat-paths that ran along the walls of the establishment. "Focus on getting well and we'll go", he ruffled the girls' hair with his large hands.

"We are already better, we could go now", Mimiko pouted.

"Your cursed energy is still pretty drained from healing", said Suguru, "If the worst happens you won't be able to defend yourselves". He gave a warm smile to the girls' frowns. "It's only one more day", he promised before getting up, "Now, I’m going to work. Behave"

The day passed slowly. Time after time a human would show up in the large audience chamber and plead for salvation. It was not unusual for these people to have curses latched on them, in which case Suguru fully exploited his technique to gather more power for himself. Neither it was entirely uncommon for him to crush one of these vermins like a bug for his own entertainment, after they had no curses nor money to offer him.

"Filthy monkeys", he murmured in disgust when a mother and daughter left earshot, "Do we have anyone else?"

"Just one more pair is waiting"

"Fine", Suguru let out an exhausted breath,Bring them in"

His eyes widened as they fell upon your slumped form, walking shyly next to a man. Your hands were still covered in bandages, your face had a few scars. You kept your eyes low and disinterested as you walked towards him. He wondered whether you'd recognize him if you lifted them up. No. It did not matter. Your body was plagued with a number of parasitic curses, more than the day he saw you in the hospital. You had come to the temple for one reason only, just like all the rest of your weak kind.

"Greetings your Holiness ", Suguru had forgotten about the man who escorted you. The man had a strange aura about him; he was leaking cursed energy constantly, much like all humans, yet it gathered around you to create more curses to plague your body. "I would like you to help fix my daughter", the man said.

"Fix?", Suguru repeated the word.

"Look", you winced as the man grabbed your arms to show Suguru. He pulled away the tidy bandages to expose your blistered skin. "She went and got herself like this", the man complained, "She was already ugly as it was, now no one will want her"

Suguru clenched his fists as he forced a smile on his face. "Of course I can do that", he said getting on his feet. He walked towards the man and placed his arm between him and you. "Come let's talk some details in private", he guided him away into another room.

"Thank you", said the father, "She's already such a disappointment honestly. She's becoming an old maid, she should be married by now but you know how women are now. They want careers and money and forget their place"

Suguru could feel a twitch creeping up to his eye. He had to stay calm. "Of course. I understand", he placed his hand on the man's shoulder. It would be easy to kill him. His fingers trembled in excitement at the thought. His eyes dared the man to utter more of his depraved opinions even though the man never noticed them. "Please wait here for a bit", Suguru pulled his hand away.

His gaze turned into stone as soon as he turned to walk back to the hearing room. He wanted to kill this man more than anything else but he wanted to make sure what your reaction would be. He did not want you panicking and causing commotion around his newfound home. He did not want to have to silence you too.

He slid the door closed behind him. Your head lowered, your gaze was focused on the little soda embroideries on your socks.

"I never expected a woman who ran straight into a fire to remain so silent", he let his critisism be known with a stern voice.

Your eyes seemed surprised as they met his scolding gaze. "It's you..."

Suguru walked towards you. He gestured to your wounded hands and you gave them to him to examine. His touch was soft and careful as it unwrapped the bandage to check the blisters underneath. He raised his gaze to the scars on your face. "Do you mind?", his hand hovered over your skin. You nodded in approval. He pulled your hair away from your cheek. He took out a small handkerchief and wetted it on his tongue before bringing it to your face. His hand held yours so you would not pull away when you tried to avoid it. The cloth scrubbed your make-up off the slight purple taint of a bruise.

"These are uh....these are older", you said.

"I can see that", his voice brimmed with disgust and rage.

He lowered his hand to stand over your shoulder and summoned the lot of your curses in his command. They turned into dust, forming little black and gold marbles in his palm.

"How does that feel?", he asked.

"Huh?", even with just saying that you felt the tremendous amount of weight that was removed from your body, "Oh. Wow! What did you do?"

"That is my secret", Geto smiled.

You stopped to observed him. "Why did you do that?", you asked.

Suguru frowned in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"Why did you help me?", you said, "I thought...I had a feeling you didn't like me"

She was right. She had seen right through the fake joyous expression he put on to please those around him. His smile faded away. He did not know what to respond as he was not himself sure of why he had helped.

"Look at it as repayment", his fake smile returned, "For saving my daughters".

Yes. That's what it was. Just repaying a debt to a lowly human. He was the sorcerer, he had to honor his debts, even to a monkey like you.

"Now let me take a look at your arms-"

His arm wrapped around your waist to guide you to a table at the other side, but as he touched you your body winced in pain. Suguru's smile fell once more. He took heavy breaths. If your face was marked then your body had to be too.

"Please. Lift your shirt", he kept his lgaze on the ground as he gritted his teeth.

You took a few moments to answer reluctantly "I don't want to".

"Are there more bruises?", Suguru fisted his hands. You shook your head. "So, there are", Suguru surmised.

"It's okay", you told him, "I'm used to it"

Those simple words flipped Suguru off like turning a switch. He saw the twins locked up in a cell, the whole town pointing their fingers toward them as they sent people to torture them. He saw Haibara, his body splayed on a table, never to cheer anyone again. He saw Riko, her wholesome smile beaming on her face before a bullet split her skull.

"Mr monk?", your voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Your eyes were examining him in confusion.

"It's Geto. Suguru Geto", he muttered as he massaged the bridge of his nose.

"Oh. Then Geto-san. Tha-"

"How much do you hate your father?", Suguru asked with a murderous gaze, "Do you loathe him? Would you like to be free of him?"

Your brows furrowed. "I don't think I like your tone", you challenged his gaze.

Suguru was surprised to see the fire behind your eyes. Where had it gone, he wondered, when your father stood next to you. "Apologies", Suguru smiled, "I see what you could have thought. I only meant to offer you a room here at the temple so you'd be able to escape the house"

"O-oh", you stammered, "I don't think he'd let me leave". You had tried to get away from the house before. Gathered money to rent a place outside Tokyo for a while. Until your father found it and took it for himself, saying that a good daughter takes care of her parents.

"I shall handle that", Geto smiled, "I'll just say I need some time to...heal...you as he put it. I guess it is not a question of if you want to anymore..."

He buried his hands in his sleeves and gave a slight bow before turning away to the door. It was not long before he reached the man in question. Suguru forced a pleasant expression in his face. He thought about killing the man right then and there but he surmised that would shock you enough to run away. And he could not have that. He needed you there, close to him, so he could protect you like he could not protect all the others. But still, he could not leave that bastard walk out unscathed.

"Sir", Suguru smiled as he returned to your father. He threw his hand over the man's shoulder. "I'm afraid this will take a little while", the curses he had gathered from you were released to plague the man s body, "She'll be safe with us at the temple. You can come visit in a few days"

The man's breath turned laboured by the curses' weight as he was guided outside. "A...alright...as long...as long as you bring results I guess"

Geto smiled at him until he disappeared under the stairs of the courtyard. He hastily pulled out his disinfectant and sprayed it around his body and even all around the room.

"All done!", he said as soon as he returned to the room.

"Your eyes widened. "Seriously?", you exhaled in disbelief.

"Of course. Come now, i'll see you to your room"

He guided you by the hand to a guest apartment he kept. He ordered one of his servants to fetch you some things from your house that you wanted and provided you with everything else. He bid you goodnight before returning to his room.

He leaned back on the wall. He looked at his hand, your warmth still lingering between his fingers. What on Earth was the matter with him? Why did he help you more than it benefitted his goals? You were a monkey. He should not care whether you lived in peace or despair. Yet there was something about you that reminded him of his days in school. Something of Satoru. Something of Shoko.

Something of Amenai.

#suguru x reader #jjk #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #jjk suguru #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru #suguru geto #jujutsu kaisen suguru

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momentsbeforemass · 10 days

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Denying Communion

(someone asked me about denying communion, this is the story of the one time I did)

B is a recovering alcoholic.

I met B at my one of my parish internships, during formation. After mass one Saturday, B’s sponsor (an old friend) told me that B was trying again.

And that B was three days sober.

At the first mass that Sunday, I had one of the chalices of the Precious Blood. B was in my line.

When he got to me, I did something I had never done before. I put my hand over the chalice. I denied him Communion.

Before B could say anything, I said “It’s been three days.”

With tears in his eyes, he corrected me. “No. Today is four.”

I choked up. And could barely sputter “God bless you,” as he headed back to the pews.

I bring this up, because today’s Gospel is all about things that come between us and God.

And the call of God, for us to help each other.

When someone decides to deal with whatever has come between them and God, God will always help them.

Part of that help? You and me. God will use us to help them.

Even if our own lives aren’t perfect. Even if you and I are also struggling with something that’s come between us and God.

Be open to God’s call. Let the Holy Spirit move you.

Even if it seems weird in the moment.

Even if you don’t know what to say.

Even if you’ve never done it before.

Be the hands that help.

Today’s Readings

#Denying Communion #Alcoholic #Help #St. Teresa of Avila #Be the hands #God's Love #God #Jesus #Catholic #Christian #Church #Christianity #Catholicism #Moments Before Mass

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sunflowersteves · 10 months

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Lately, the thought has been spinning in my head that there is a reader who will be much taller than our beloved Miguel ??? damn it, I just imagine the reader towering over Miguel and saying "god, are all the spiders here really that small or is it me Just that big? Hehe" I'm in love with the idea

i cannot relate bc I’m five foot zero inches BUT I hope you enjoy

warnings || none, tall reader, fluff, grumpy miguel, gn!reader, not edited

masterlist

If Miguel heard another one of your jokes, he’s pretty sure he is going to punch the computer—again. It seemed as if your favorite past time, which could be anything that didn’t involve him, was making fun of your height difference to Miguel.

It all started when Hobie and Peter made one singular comment. Personally, you hadn’t noticed that much of a difference. You weren’t extremely taller than him—maybe just an inch or two.

“Ay. Pete, look.” Hobie nudges Peter with his arm. Peter raises his eyebrows and then turns to where Hobie’s eyes are set.

You stood tall, watching intently to whatever words are spilling out of Miguel’s mouth. But for Miguel, his eyes were tilted upwards. He had to look up to get an actual good look at you.

“Holy f—” Peter cringes. “Sorry, Mayday. Don’t tell your mother.”

Hobie wickedly grinned. “Yeah, mate. This is a revelation.”

Miguel was serious, and brooding, as he always had been. You, on the other hand, were a much lighter spirit. Still, though, you towered over him and it was so pleasant to see.

“I’ve got to tell Miles about this.” Peter says, excitedly.

Hobie smirked and nudged his friend again. “I love anarchy.”

Peter furrows his eyebrows and May babbles out the words—trying to imitate Hobie. “Wait, what—”

“Miguel! Shorty! Little short stuff, yeah.” Miguel whips his head over to Hobie. “I think you’re gonna have to talk a bit louder to them.”

Miguel sighed, eyes flickering from Hobie to you. “I don’t have time for this—”

You couldn’t help but blurt it all out. “It’s because you’re shorter than me.”

Miguel’s eyes widened but they stayed right on you. A mere bystander would say that he’s angry, but you could tell he was flustered.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.” He places his thumb and index finger onto his nose. “Just get back to work.”

You pause your antics and give Miguel a small smile. Your hand reaches out to smooth over the holographic suit on his shoulders. “I’m only teasing, you know.”

He lets out a sigh, but he’s still nodding his head. “Yeah, I know.”

If he was being honest, he had always loved the height difference. He had loved how you could envelope his wide shoulders and place sweet forehead kisses on top of his head. He loved the way your eyes locked with his as his heart thumped rapidly across his chest.

You smiled at him—fully. You could tell that there was a blanket of warmth that settled over him. For a minute, you thought you were actually getting to him.

Miguel stands up to grab a file from a cabinet. It was the old way of doing things—an old method for storing precious items. Some of the spider people needed the older methods.

Miguel stands on his tippy toes. The file that he needed had conveniently been placed on the very top shelf of the cabinet. It was just his luck.

“Sorry, just—Miguel, do you need me to get that?”

He turns toward you and stares. He stares for so long as he watches you bite your lip. You were stifling your laughter at the whole scene before you.

His eyes squint, and your laughter comes to a halt. You clear your throat, “let me get it for you, Miggy.”

God, how can he not just melt at that? He watches as your tall stature easily grabs the file that seemed so difficult for him. There was the smallest hint of a smile on his face. He truly loved to watch you doing your own.

“You are so fucking lucky that I love you, cariño.” He mumbles incoherent curses as he sits down in his office chair.

You gently place the file into his hands. Lyla swirls beside him, echoing the same laughter that bubbles from your throat. “I’m with a bunch of idiots—goddamn idiots.”

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x y/n #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 x you #miguel o’hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 fanfiction #across the spiderverse fanfiction #across the spiderverse

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many-sparrows · 7 months

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Unsure if you're the right person to ask this to, but I trust your blog and it has brought me comfort many times before.

I'm converting to christianity have no desire to go to church, at least, not traditional ones, but I feel like not going to church and not making myself "officially" Christian seems... wrong. At the same time, I have so many beliefs, spiritual and otherwise, that don't align with the church, and in general it's just not a place I'm happy in.

Is it okay to be Christian and not go to church? To not be tied to one?

God bless you and thank you in advance

Ok, been thinking about this ask since I got it. I wanted to take the time to answer it sensitively and thoroughly, but there have been some intense distractions to my ability to think sensitively at the moment (*gestures at the world*)

First of all, I am touched that my blog is a place you find comfort. That surprises me a little bit, because I am simply hanging out. As for whether or not I am the right person to ask, I like to ask all sorts of people these questions; who knows what insights they might give. Then you can sort through what is and isn't of value.

This topic is difficult. It's one that a lot of "non-traditional" Christians deal with. Let's dig in.

You know, I think it is possible to be a Christian and not be tied to a church. Churches can be very difficult places, especially traditional ones. You bring up a very good point about the power dynamics- churches, despite all of the important things in the gospel and the things God has called us to, have been a part of systems that have caused a lot of harm and destruction, and you can't ignore that when making a choice like this. I firmly believe that Christ doesn't want us to do things that endanger our walk with God, and I really do believe that includes avoiding churches that are harmful and hateful and so on. I think God calls us all to our own paths, and our own relationships with Them, and you can never be separated from Him, even if you aren't in a church on Sunday. I spent years of my life not going to church, and had some of the most clarifying, important religious experiences during that time.

However, let me say a word in favor of churches. The whole point of churches, of gathering, of the Sabbath are that we are called together into community. We are called to do this thing together. I really do think that the lack of strong community networks is part of what our society is really struggling with right now. Of course, there are other types of community- friends and school, work, neighborhood groups, mutual aide organizations- and those things are absolutely somewhere you find God. This might be a hot take, but I don't think you should only surround yourself with people of your own religion or that you should only get community from there; Christ didn't do that, for starters, and in this day and age, when churches have become so inaccessible to non Christians, and White Christianity has become so warped and strange, that it's important to not lock yourself inside the church walls. However, it can be very lonely, even when you're a part of groups that share your values, to be the only one coming at it from your faith. We arent just meant to live in community, we are meant to practice our faith in community.

Every one of us struggles sometimes, with doubts and callings and questions, and having people with you makes that doable. I also know that the holy Spirit comes to us in community. When you're with people who share your faith, you know that you are with people that share this walk with you. At the very least you know that they are committed to something bigger than themselves. That is such a very, very precious and grounding thing to hold on to.

Also, none of us is ever going to be 100% correct in the ways that we interpret Scripture on our own. Good clergy have been trained in how to understand and approach scripture and how to meet people where they are, and having access to them is incredibly helpful. Having people to talk about these things with opens your eyes and can help you understand God's instructions better.

This is going to sound cheesy, but what really makes or breaks a church are the people. If you can find a group of people that works for you, everything else is workable.

As for beliefs that don't necessarily align, you'd be surprised how open some churches are. Quakers, for example, aren't even Christian, though plenty of Quakers are themselves Christian. I know many Christians who believe in universal salvation. I know Lutherans and Episcopalians to toe the line with Catholic practices. I know gay Catholics, Catholics that are pro-choice and don't believe in Hell. All this is to say, in some churches, you can make a broader set of beliefs and practices work. In many places, they are welcomed.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the United Church of Christ, and the Episcopalians are groups that have been actively working to untangle a lot of the problems in traditional church culture-- especially when it comes to racial and queer issues. If you ever feel like you want to access the benefits of churches, these are groups that might be a good place to start exploring, instead of just trying churches until you stumble on one. You also totally can attend churches loosely, when you need or want to, without becoming a member of entrenching yourself. You can rotate between churches. It really is all about you and your walk, babe.

I'm not telling you that you have to go to church. Unfortunately, I cannot give you an answer of what to do, because it has to work for you and whatever you have going on with God. I just want you to know that churches- though they can be scary and difficult and complicated- can also do some very important things for your faith journey. I also don't think that church should ever be the center of someone's spiritual life; Sunday mornings are a chance to ground yourself, a place to land when you need it, something to steady yourself, but not the only time or place God comes to you or that you're supposed to live out the values of the faith.

Regardless, this, and most things in the Christian faith, is not about finding one answer. It is about living in a way that works right now. Churches change, you move, what worked once won't always work forever, and that's ok. The whole point of this thing is to commit to the walk and the process. Of loving your neighbor right here and now. So I hope this helped somewhat. I hope this becomes easier for you-- the most important thing is that Christ is with you and that sets you free from all fear and shame if you let it, no matter how much people try to push those things onto you. I hope you find peace on this and that you find a solution that works for you.

Congratulations on your conversion! We are happy to have you in the family :)

#asks

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eternal-echoes · 4 months

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“I do not venerate matter, I venerate the fashioner of matter, who became matter [through the Incarnation] for my sake and accepted to dwell in matter and through matter worked my salvation, and I will not cease from reverencing matter, through which my salvation was worked... Therefore I reverence the rest of matter and hold in respect that through which my salvation came, because it is filled with divine energy and grace. Is not the thrice-precious and thrice-blessed wood of the cross matter? Is not the holy and august mountain, the place of the skull, matter? Is not the life-giving and life-bearing rock, the holy tomb, the source of the resurrection, matter? Is not the ink and the all-holy book of the Gospels matter? Is not the life-bearing table, which offers to us the bread of life, matter? Is not the gold and silver matter, out of which crosses and tablets and bowls are fashioned? And, before all these things, is not the body and blood of my Lord matter? Either do away with reverence and veneration for all these or submit to the tradition of the Church and allow the veneration of images of God and friends of God, sanctified by name and therefore overshadowed by the grace of the divine Spirit.”

- St. John of Damascus, Three Treatises on the Divine Images

#Catholic #Christianity #quotes #St. John of Damascus

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traumacatholic · 27 days

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May I have a prayer or two? For safety and to be protected from deceivers. I'm staying in a hotel away from family for a few days and I'm trying to help a friend out but I'm worried that they may try to take advantage of me but I don't want to abandon or push them away.

Of course, may God bless and protect you. I have attached some prayers under the readmore that you might find beneficial.

Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Saint Patrick's Breastplate Prayer

The full prayer can be found here: https://parish.rcdow.org.uk/greenford/wp-content/uploads/sites/127/2020/03/St-Patricks-Breastplate.pdf

But I often see it shortened to this part, so it comes down to personal preference how much of the prayer you want to say

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise, Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me

A Prayer in Time of Attack

O Lord, our God, pre-existing before all ages and remaining forever; who are as great in compassion as you are in uncontainable power; who because of your ineffable mercy bowed the heavens, came down on earth and became man for the salvation of sinners; who put on and immortalized our nature and ascended with it to the place from which you descended; hear from heaven and become merciful to all those who cry out to you with a broken heart. You, O Master of all, lend you ear and hear us. We know your undefeatable love for your creation and your inexhaustible goodness. Hence, we throw ourselves into the ocean of your compassions and entreat you: turn not your face from us nor cast us away from your countenance neither hand us over to those who are so furiously attacking us. Look upon us with your compassionate eye. Show us how to rise above both the visible and invisible enemies. Place in us a power from on high; encompass us with your almighty right hand; keep us under the protection of your wings; fortify us with love for one another and grant us unshakable peace. But before all and above all, instill in us your fear and your love that your holy name may also be glorified in us. Upon you alone we look, on you alone we have placed our hopes, and to you we send up the glory, together with your Father, who is without beginning, and the life-creating Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Prayer to the Holy Cross

Let God arise and let His enemies be scattered; and let those who hate Him flee from His presence. As smoke vanishes, let them vanish; and as wax melts from the presence of fire, so let demons perish from the presence of those who love God and who sign themselves with the sign of the Cross and say in gladness: Hail, most precious and life-giving Cross of the Lord, for Thou drivest away the demons by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ crucified on thee, Who went down to hades and trampled on the power of the devil, and gave us thee, his venerable Cross, for driving away all enemies. O most precious and life-giving Cross of the Lord, help me, with our Holy Lady, the Virgin Mother of God, and with all the Saints throughout the ages. Amen.

Prayer Before Sleep

Beneath your compassion we seek refuge, Theotokos. Do not overlook our prayers, but deliver us from danger, only pure and blessed one. My hope is the Father; my refuge, the Son; my protection, the Holy Spirit. Holy Trinity, glory to you. I place all my hope in you, Mother of God. Keep me under your protection. Through the prayers of our holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy and save us. Amen.

Under the protection of your wings I shall be covered and fall asleep, for in you only, Lord, does my hope lie. Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my soul and my body. Do bless me, do have mercy on me, and grant me eternal life. Amen.

Protection Prayer

Jesus, I will arise. Jesus, do thou accompany me. Jesus, do thou lock my heart into thine and let my body and my soul be commended unto thee. The Lord is crucified. May God guard and protect my senses so that misfortunes may not overcome me. In the name of God, the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Prayer Against Every Evil

Spirit of our God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Most Holy Trinity, Immaculate Virgin Mary, angels, archangels, and saints of heaven, descend upon me. Please purify me, Lord, mold me, fill me with yourself, use me. Banish all the forces of evil from me, destroy them, defeat them, so that I can be healthy and do good deeds. Banish from me all spells, witchcraft, black magic, evil spells, ties, curses, and the evil eye; diabolic infestations, oppressions, possessions; all that is evil and sinful, jealousy, deceitfulness, envy; physical, psychological, moral, spiritual and diabolical ailments. Burn all these evils in hell, that they may never again touch me or any other creature in the entire world. I command and bid all the powers who assault me—by the power of God all-powerful, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior. Through the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary–to leave me forever, and to be consigned into the everlasting hell where they will be bound by Saint Michael the archangel, Saint Gabriel, Saint Raphael, our guardian angels, and where they will be crushed under the heel of the Immaculate Virgin Mary.

Prayer to Your Guardian Angel

O Holy Angel, who stand by my wretched soul and my passionate life: do not abandon me, a sinner, neither depart from me because of my lack of self-control. Leave no room for the evil demon to gain control of me through the violence of this mortal body. Strengthen my weak and feeble hand, and instruct me in the path of salvation. O holy Angel of God, the guardian and protector of my wretched soul and body: forgive all the sorrows I have caused you, every day of my life. If I have sinned in this past night, protect me during this day. Keep me from every adverse temptation, that I may not anger God by any sin. Pray to the Lord for me, that He may establish me in His fear and make me, His servant, worthy of His goodness. Amen.

#prayer #prayer request #prayer req

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faithisthekey-23 · 1 year

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Hi, I wanted to share with you another poem of mine. Writing it reminded me of why I started to write poems with true passion — I just wanted to worship God. Lately, I kept on writing just like it was the thing that I have to do, but today God reminded me that I started to simply show Him my love. I wrote this poem today, on 17th May 2023.

For the sake of love

I put all of my trust in You without any doubts coming to my head

You have never failed me to help me, so I know that it can be laid on You — my faith

You are here and never stop guarding a heart of mine

No matter how many mistakes I make, You are right by my side

No matter how my sins hurt Your Precious heart, You don't even think of forsaking me

Instead of doing such things, You come to my rescue and when my eyes are closed, You help me see

You come to comfort me and show me the way

And which direction is the best to take

With You not a step is too hard to take for Your words always bring me hope

There's not a single moment I forget that my life makes sense and has its worth

For the way You speak to me and let me stick to You proves me that I am loved

Even though I don't see You and have never heard Your voice out loud

I don't think it is needed to make me realize that You're with me all the time

Every single day of mine I can feel Your presence

And know that You listen to what I have to say

If You didn't, I would never be able to know Your answers

But You always respond to me, sometimes right away, sometimes it's hours later

But You answer is never too late for You let me know what I need to know at the very moment you respond

I am really grateful for letting me to be with You and bond with You, Lord

It feels impossible that I can actually talk to You

Even though, in the past I kept on hurting You

You still keep on saying that I am worthy of Your presence

Not because of my good or bad deeds but because how Christ was excellent

Jesus was the One Who came to earth and saved me from the devil

Who wanted to destroy me and steal from me, but my Savior was luckily here

He took the blame of mine and let me escape hell

Even though He knew that He will get hurt, He didn't run away

He could have saved His life but He thought that my life is worthy of getting crucified

He was scared, but chose to do this while thinking of me — giving up His life

He was the Word from the beginning, even before the world was made

He has already won everything: every single battle that has been created

I just keep on wondering, He could have had it all

He's already been King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and yet He chose my love

In such a brutal way, He was mocked and whipped, then He died on the cross

These things and many more — He suffered it all

Why? He did all of it for the sake of love

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roughdaysandart · 6 days

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WE DID IT, SICKOS! (100 FOLLOWERS?! ❤️)

Come for the gratitude, stay for the lesbian drabble???

Holy SHIT WHAT?!

Thank you all for supporting this disgusting community, I'm so honored that you all have found your way here and are enjoying the work I am creating for you guys, I never ever thought more than a few people would be interested in my art (especially the Abridging for Christian Roomates aspect, haha!) but all of your support has pushed me to go big and try new things like digital stuff, it means so much to me since I rarely get to show others my work in real life.

Thank you to @0rley and @lastresortacontact for being my first followers and best friends feeding my online addiction irl

Thank you to @djarins-wife for being my 100th follower, I see u girl!!!

Thank you to every follower and mutual and comment and reblog that have been so nice to me and fed into this depravity even more these past few months, I really really love yall and thank God every day that I have this wonderful thing in my life to come home to and enjoy.

I feel like I should drop something special, but I'm still just working on the storyboard for ch 0 part 2...so how about I give you my name? Seems special enough and goes with the Rough Day aesthetic of it all so *ahem*

Here goes!

.............(RD ch 6 AU where I'M Din???)...........

*corelia happens, we do some badass shit*

*we strike a deal for you to take the shot*

*we do the spicy tango but lesbian??? Im not gay but I guess I COULD be bi for you, Sweet Girl. (Does that make me a lil gay? Lets not dwell)*

*Oh WAIT no- in The Abridged for Christian Roomates version I just make Din kiss her for the first time with her eyes closed oops*

Okay so *smooch I kiss you on zè cheeck*

*I gives you bacta shot*

She says something unintelligible, and you can barley make it out between your exhaustion from Corelia and the sedating effects of the shot.

"....wh...what?"

You feel tunnel vision closing in and the black walls surround your focus, and you see more than feel you body come to rest on the cot as she gently guides you down.

"Madison...its Madison."

How perfectly appropriate, you think. "Mad-is-on". Three words rolled into one, representing both her stubbornness and fierce tempered spirit that refuses to submit for anything but her little womp rat and you,.

You repeat the word slurreidly aloud,

"Madis....Ma....mmm"

Then you continue repeating it in your head, determined not to let the airy, whisped token slip away in the rolling waves of slumber-lust.

Madison...Madison....Madison...Madison...

Funny, you think.

If you said it fast enough or maybe heard it with an accent, you could almost mistake it for the word 'medicine'.

As the fog of sleep bends to softly blanket your consciousness, you wonder how often that happens to her, and your spirit warms at the idea of her making a face of annoyance under the helmet after it happening too often...

...Then you realize that it probrobly never does...

...being that noone but you, and maybe only a few precious others must know this one secret part of her.

And then everything goes dark.

..............................................................................

Thank you so much, my precious sickos and sweet girls, ❤️

-Madison (@roughdaysandart )

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ome-magical-ramblings · 11 months

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Pope of Enchiridion's Memory improvement Spell.

I am Happy to annouce that the spellwork I have conceived had a very successful result in improving the memory of the recipient and rectify any problem with recalling stuff in term of short memory. I hope to present it here in an easily readable/digestable format from the grimoire and give it a body, to encourage more exploration and practice of these techniques. Prayer to Aid a Failing Memory: By the will of God + the Almighty, leave from out of here + and fall to the ground, + spirits of poor memory + whether visible + or invisible, + the + body of this creature N. As fell the precious blood of Jesus + crucified. By the passion and death of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. (This line is to be recited five times.)

I hope that this is a bridge from grimoire to folk magic, from theurgy to practicalities and praying to breathing it into the manifest. Anyway let's get down to Business with the ingredients 1. A red pen/marker 2. A black marker 3. Paper 4. Dried/Fresh common sage 5. (Optional) a tea bag/earl grey tea 6.(Optional) Holy Oil

7.Flask (I mean where you gonna put it... lol)

8. Compass to draw

Once you got everything ready you will prepare by writing the prayer inside the circle drawn in paper and mark/draw the cross with red ink specifically. The last line of the passion of Christ you write in full RED, like this replacing the N with your name or the name of the person you want to improve their memory like your friend, brother, sister, partener, etc.

After that you will put your flask/french press or whatever on top of the paper, and after pouring the hot water you will make the sign of the cross(you're the priest blessing this body of water) so top to down then lef to right. You can say it once, three, or nine times, the important thing is that you sign and direct the prayer AT THE FLASK/CONTAINER. You can add the extra layer where you bless the person if you're able with the holy oil or just your finger and do the cross on their forehead and toward their general body. After that you can enjoy the tea with your recipient or yourself and try to remember some old memory, something you did this past week, and just stretch the memory a bit. My personal experience with this spellwork is that the results are gradual and suddenly the person find themselves through few days getting more and more grasp on their memory...So it is a success! The translation/this prayer is taken from Tarl Warwick 's translation of pope leo if you're wondering.

Go out there and do it! if you're wondering why I choose sage it's because in Nicholas Culpeper's herbalism classic book: Sage is of excellent use to help the memory, warming and quickening the senses;

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angeltreasure · 4 months

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Please pray for my boyfriend's friend. He had stroke-like symptoms and they're not sure what's causing it. He's going to need to stay in the hospital another night if they can't find out what's going on. Please pray for miraculous healing and peace 🙏

Padre Pio’s Prayer for Physical Healing

Heavenly Father, I thank you for loving me. I thank you for sending your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, to the world to save and to set me free. I trust in your power and grace that sustain and restore me.

Loving Father, touch me now with your healing hands, for I believe that your will is for me to be well in mind, body, soul and spirit.

Cover me with the most Precious Blood of Your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Cast anything that should not be in me.

Root out any unhealthy and abnormal cells. Open any blocked arteries or veins and rebuild and replenish any damaged areas. Remove all inflammation and cleanse any infection by the power of Jesus’ Precious Blood.

Let the fire of your healing love pass through my entire body to heal and make new any diseased areas so that my body will function the way you created it to function.

Touch also my mind and my emotion, even the deepest recesses of my heart. Saturate my entire being with your presence, love, joy, and peace, and draw me ever closer to you every moment of my life.

And Father, fill me with your Holy Spirit and empower me to do your works so that my life will bring glory and honor to your holy name. I ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

#prayer request #asks

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aphroditestempleimagines · 2 months

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Mortal - Chapter 7

A Suguru Geto x fem!reader fanfiction

Words: 1923

Warnings: Death, blood, gore, language

Your lips melted against Suguru's as his left hand pulled you closer to him by the waist. His right gathered your hair between its fingers as he pressed his lips harder against yours like a starved man. If only you could had stopped time so you could savour this moment forever. Alas, life is cruel and, to Suguru, it is even crueller.

"You fucking whore", a loud voice put a stop to the happiness so suddenly that you tasted Suguru's blood. Your father stood at the room's entrance, his cane pointed towards you. "What kind of monster are you to seduce a holy man who tried to help you?".

The man's arm reached to grab yours, but Suguru put himself in the way. He wore a friendly smile which you could now see was nothing more than a warning to his opponent. "You've got it all wrong sir", he buried his hands in his sleeves and leaned closer to your father, "I think you and I should step outside for a minute"

"Suguru-san", you came to his side, your hand on his arm as it tried to comfort him.

"I'm not going anywhere without my daughter", the man pointed his cane towards you, "You filthy creature are coming with me, and when we're home I'll make sure you remember your place".

He raised his cane. Your eyes closed on instinct and waited for the pain to strike...but it never did. You opened your eyes. One of Suguru's spirits had taken hold of the cane, devouring it.

"Your daughter is a wonderful woman. I did not wish to make a mess in front of her", Suguru smiled again, "But you leave me no choice"

With a snap of his fingers, countless cursed spirits circled around your father. Some began pulling on his limps, some scratched his skin and others tried to bite chunks of flesh from his legs. "Suguru! Stop!", you desperately pulled Suguru's arm but to no use. His smile had disappeared, his gaze was cold and focused on the man who hurt you.

His eyes suddenly widened. In an instant, a cursed spirit covered you, right before a gunshot echoed down the length of the hall. Suguru's arm wrapped around your waist, his face finally twisting to display the anger that burned deep inside him. He made a gesture with his hand and your father's screams filled the room. Soon after the old man's arm fell in front of you, his hand still gripping the trigger of a gun.

Everything was happening so fast. You clung on to Suguru even though you knew he was the cause of this mayhem. You beat yourself to stop him but you remained frozen. Your father's blood pooled on the waxed floor. As the spirit Suguru shielded you with returned to him, he pulled you further into his arms, turning your head away from the carnage.

"Su... Suguru...-san..."

He planted a soft kiss on your hair before returning his gaze to whatever was left of your father. "It's okay", he said sweetly, "You're okay. You're safe now"

You wiggled your way out of his tight embrace. Your bare feet stepped onto the pool of blood in front of you. "What....what did you do?", your body trembled as you stared at your father's corpse.

"I did what was just"

"He was my father..."

"He was no father", he came close again and pulled up your sleeve, showing you your own scars, "No father would treat his child like that".

His lips reached to caress your mistreated skin, but you never let them. His smile fell as easily as it had appeared. You stared deep into those cold black eyes that ignored every plea you cried as Suguru painted the temple crimson. "You did it so easily....", you muttered, "who......who are you...?"

He took a deep breath and straightened his back. He raised his gaze as if he were staring at an invisible gate to heaven. "I'm the one who'll save the world from humans"

You were disgusted by merely hearing that short sentence. Maybe if you could forget he ever spoke it you could had gone back to your normal life of loving each other without a care. But no matter how hard you tried you could not restrain all millions of questions that went through your head; one was bound to escape.

"How?", you spat, your heart clenching already in fear of his inevitable answer.

He turned his eyes towards you. The light you so adored in them was drowned in the darkness of his hatred. "By eliminating every single one of them", he said.

And that was it. You wanted to cry but could not. You should not. A terrible terrible thought came into your mind as you glanced towards your father's corpse. He was going to kill you, wasn't he?

Your eyes widened. Your feet immediately sprang to their senses, letting you bolt. There was no fighting someone like him. You were only human. He was a sorcerer among sorcerers. Of course, there was no escaping him either.

His large hands wrapped around your arms. You writhed but even so he held you close. "Stop", he said.

You threw your fists on his chest, you stepped on his feet, you did your best to wiggle free but still remained in the cage his arms made for you. "No!", you screamed, your desperation starting to realize in the form of tears that poured from your eyes, "let me go!"

"Please!", he cried, "calm down!"

"You're going to kill me aren't you?", you sobbed, "why did you keep me around if you're just going to kill me?"

He stopped moving and remained frozen as a marble statue that had you bound in its grasp. As time passed you gave up on pulling and raised your gaze to meet his. He was frowning, not out of anger but out of pure confusion.

"Why would I kill you?", he asked, "I....I care about you"

"You....", your gaze hardened. You could not believe what you were hearing. All thoughts of dying disappeared in the absurdity of his delusions. "You care about me?", you repeated in mockery, "Are you joking right now?"

Suguru softly wiped your tears with his thumb. "I know I scared you a little, I'm sorry", his voice was sweet like honey, "But...I promise...you're okay....we're okay...."

"Scared me?", you sobbed as he caressed your hair lovingly, "You...you want to....to kill....all the humans.... You....you lied to me! You....you said you were gonna keep them safe!"

"I said I was going to keep YOU safe", he cried angrily.

You trembled as his roaring voice travelled down every corridor in the temple. You looked back at all your conversations and realised the signs were always there. "Let me go", you said coldly, "Let me go! let me go you're a murderer! You want to kill everyone! YOU'RE A MONSTER!"

Suguru pushed you against the wall. His lips hovered above yours, his body so close that your clothes brushed against his robes as his chest rose and fell frantically in tune with his breath. His hands held your wrists at the sides of your head, his eyes darting from yours to your mouth.

"You....don't understand", he rasped, "Humans.....they are nothing but monkeys. Foolish, weak....and ugly. You're safe here...with me..."

"Safe?", you laughed in sarcasm, "I AM a human!"

"No", he shook his head.

"Yes, I am! You know I am!"

"You can't be", he gritted his teeth, "There must be something...you're not like them. You're NOTHING like them"

"Humans are not all the same!"

"Yes they are", his conviction returned. His eyes filled with rage and hatred like before a battle that was yet to be fought. "All of them are worthless", he slammed his fist on the wall, "Too many sorcerers have died for them. Too many innocents! TOO MANY FRIENDS!"

"I'm sorry Suguru-san", you told him, "I'm sorry you've lost so much. But you can't change what I am"

"You can't be human", he said again, "It's not fair. It's not right". His hand cupped your cheek, his long fingers burying between your locks. He lovingly twirled your hair between them, so softly it hurt. "You're too good to be human", his voice broke. His eyes gazed at you as if in a trance until his hand felt the wetness of your tears once again falling from your eyes. His breath hitched. You could see his very soul tremble in the light of his eyes. "Why...are you crying?", you felt the fear in his tone. His other hand came to cup your cheek as well. He drew back the moment you flinched. "Are you...afraid of me?", he chuckled in the face of the madness he had himself created. "It's okay", he leaned close again and planted a soft kiss on your forehead, "You are safe with me...I said so...didn't I?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?", you felt more tears flow down your face at the coldness of your own voice.

Suguru's gaze hardened. "Would you rather I never helped you?", he spat angrily.

"I'd rather you start making sense"

You could practically see the switch flipping inside him. He fled to the other side of the halway where a balcony was. He leaned on the red wooden handrail, his head dropping as his shoulders crooked. "I hoped you'd understand", he gritted, "I wanted you to understand"

"Suguru...you're killing people...", your voice trembled as much as your heart ached. You still felt the warmth of his lips on yours, his hands lovingly caressing your body. Now it was mixed with the memory of his threatening tone once you reacted to his true colours.

"Remember how cursed spirits are created?", he asked coldly.

You were too afraid to break the silence that followed. Of course, you remembered but even that would not justify the evil he had done.

"Humans", Suguru finally answered his own question, "It's their fault. I told you yesterday. They're brimming with every negative emotion imaginable and concentrate it into cursed energy and lastly spirits. Ultimately...whether directly or indirectly...every person I cared about died because of them". You saw his hands grow red as he gripped the handrail, wondering whether he would break it. Suddenly he slammed his fist on it. "So don't you dare tell me to forgive them", he said, "Don't you dare say the world won't be a better place without them"

You could hear his ragged breath all the way across the room. You picked up your coat from the floor, thankful it had not touched the blood. "If that's what you think", you dressed yourself for the winter's cold, "then I'll remove myself from this world of yours".

There was no reply. Not when you spoke nor when you began to walk away. Only when you reached the door on the other side did Suguru find some words to give you.

"Y/n", his voice made you halt your step. You turned to face him but he kept his back to you. "Stay away from Tokyo. Kyoto too", he said coldly, "Go somewhere far away, out in the countryside"

"Why?"

"I don't want to see your face. Ever again."

You scoffed. "You don't control-"

"If I see you again, I'll kill you"

Your heart clenched at that threat. How could you have possibly ever felt the slightest affection for a man like him? You closed the door behind you. Suguru fell to his knees. He leaned his forehead against the handrail. His fingers traced his plumb lips before his hand covered his mouth. He knew what he wanted to say, but he would not let the words escape his mouth. He had to stay strong. He had sacrificed too much. He had already left so many people behind. What was one more?

As long as you were safe.

#writing #jjk mortal #mortal #suguru geto x reader #suguru getou #suguru x reader

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cheesus-doodles · 2 years

Text

A Friend In Me: Chapter 2

Yandere Platonic Toman

‎‎‎

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Masterlist

‎A/N: Holy hell, it's been a while! Really glad to be back from my break, it's honestly weird to not be writing every free minute I have. Crunch time just to finally get this out on time for my boy's birthday :3 As usual I will edit the grammatical errors later cause its super late now. Happy (very belated) Birthday Mikey!!

‎‎

It was an unusual spring in your step and an exceptionally cheery hum on your lips that accompanied you when you returned to school the following week, your spirits riding high off a fun-filled weekend surrounded by your precious friends. Albeit it was a break that the boys had forced a very reluctant you to take against your will and the mountain of homework piled high up on your desk. Yet all it took was a lavish sprinkle of whining and tugging and pleading, combined with a generous serving of extra strength puppy eyes, and you caved like the crispy top of one of your homemade pot pies.

And that was hands down the best decision your friends had ever made for you all month, you had to admit.

As someone whose life had been all but consumed in an endless cycle of school, work, home and utter loneliness up till meeting Baji and Mikey on that fateful afternoon, it blew your mind that there was so much to see, so much to do in this city you’ve lived your whole life in. Maybe it was just that the city came alive when you were with your friends, the alluring lights dotting skyscrapers winking at you from the distant skyline. Or maybe it was the laughs and smiles that helped saturate the sounds and sights that filled your wide eyes and ears. Be it fishing by the riverbank in the outskirts of the city with Draken and Pah-chin, which you had barbecued there and then and eaten the fish, trying out a new cafe in outskirts with Mitsuya and Mikey, a half-an-hour bus ride away from your home, or even just picnicking in a public park under the shade of a century old tree with Kazutora and Baji, you never found a reason for your smile to drop.

Needless to say, the high spirits carried over from weekends translated into a bounce in your step as you skipped the last few steps to the gates of your school, waving goodbye to Mikey who had dropped you off. You could do this. You were certain you could. All this time spent around friends who truly cared for you, who so kindly, so patiently helped you through your social anxiety - if you couldn’t make a single one on your own, maybe you didn’t deserve any. But you wouldn’t let them down, not this time.

Confidence at an all-time high and in the midst of giving yourself a pep talk, the ever so slight crinkle of the corners of Mikey’s black eyes and the small smirk that quickly faded from his face slipped by you unnoticed.

“Morning, Yamamoto-kun, Kaito-kun!” You chirped out, completely undeterred from the lack of responses you were receiving from the various classmates shuffling by: they had been enthusiastic enough last Friday after all. It was probably just the Monday blues, and you conveniently brushed off the nervous glances sent your way. The morning sun shining directly into your classroom - the same one that shone on you last week as you finally broke ground with new people on your own accord - brought with it a sense of hopefulness with the refracted fragile lines of rainbows through large clear glass windows. Spending a few minutes to watch as the rays dance across the still classroom filled with students, you resigned yourself to reminiscing about your amazing weekend while waiting for the gloom to drain from the atmosphere.

Alas, it seemed your understanding of the situation was far from reality, and the realization only finally dawned when homeroom, and then first class dragged on and the expected friendliness never materialized.

“Tanaka-kun! How was…your…week…end?” Your voice trailed off as said boy simply stalked pass without a glance in your way, your raised hand slowly retracting back under the table as you watched his back disappear round a corner, not once acknowledging your presence. And he wasn’t the first with those cold shoulders and even colder glares that you couldn’t even begin to understand, already one of countless you had been on the receiving end of in the first few hours of classes. Biting back the tears you felt starting to well up in your eyes, at least the risen sun melted away a little of the icy reception you received. Why? What did you do? Maybe it was the way you were pronouncing their names? Was it your expression?

No matter. “I’ll try harder.” You mumbled to yourself under your breath for the umpteenth time even as your fingers picked at the corner of bleeding fingernails, the other hand tugging and grasping at the hem of your school shirt. You could always try harder.

But as time dragged on and your class started and ended one by one, it became clear to you that social skills just simply weren’t a strong suit of yours. And your mind - or more so your heart, you suspected - started to fail in its ability to push back those nagging voices that haunted you, allowing them to roar straight back to the front of your thoughts. What you felt now - it was like that dream you had again and again of falling off the tallest skyscraper headfirst. Your dream never had you crash into the warm pavement below, but you could confidently say you learn that feeling first hand; your hopes of making even more friends through your own ability all but smashed into million pieces, and yourself dunked straight back into the harsh cold waters of reality.

Yet all you could do was unwillingly trudge on, clinging to the last bit of hope as you slumped into your seat. In a vain attempt to turn your bittering thoughts off your current treatment by who you once thought were acquaintances - you were hesitant to call them friends so quickly, and you guessed that was the right call after all - you turned your attention to the vacant seats littering the classroom. And there were quite a few of them to your surprise as you mentally tallied the total count, and there didn’t seem to be any one pattern to reason for so many of your classmates to not be here. Maybe the flu? But it wasn’t flu season. Or maybe it was just that they had too much fun over the weekend and didn’t feel like coming back, cause that would have been your reason as well.

The ring of the school bell broke you from your thoughts: banded classes were starting as evident with the scrapping of chairs against wooden flooring and scuffling of bags against tables, and you had to move. Leaping to your feet as you scrambled to gather your scattered belongings, you mustered what remained of your courage at the familiar sight of brown pigtails, turning with what you hoped was a bright smile. “Ah Aki-kun, wait for m-”

“Stop! Stay away!”

You froze. “I-”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know.” The normally mild-natured bespectacled girl all but hissed at you as shoved past you, another icy voice you never expected from another mouth you were certain you never crossed. “You did this to them! Just - stay away from me!”

All you ever did was to call out to her to wait so that you could pack. And she and everyone else left you standing there alone, your belongings half strewn across the table top with the other half messily stuffed into your bag. The cloudy skies and cool breeze that kissed your skin and teased your hair, coupled with the copious amounts of food and laughter you enjoyed with your friends over the weekend, now seemed so distant, a stark contrast to the bleak present you were in. You stiffly stuffed the rest of the items into your bag.

No one wanted to sit, talk or even look in your direction. For reasons beyond you, no matter where or who you desperately reached out to, the reaction you received was exactly the same. Different people, different classes. Nothing.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did.” You muttered, but it was really more for yourself than anyone around, your fingernails only digging further into already bruising flesh. “I’m sorry.” Being plunged once more back into miserable isolation was a difficult feeling to bear quietly; just when you thought, for once in your life, that you've made it. Yet all you could do was curl into yourself and mumble apologies under your breath to whoever out there could hear you, whoever would hear you. For what unknown crimes you weren't sure, but if everyone else agreed it was all your fault for something, who were you to disagree? You must have done it.

Time seemed to drag on forever, every minute an excruciating hour spent trying to ignore those inhospitable glares digging into your back wherever you went. At least the one thing you could be sure of, lost in this confusing world alone with your self-esteem falling off a cliff face, was that the clock still ticked uncaringly on, dragging you forward with every rotation of the second hand - it brought with it hope that this nightmare would come to an end.

Staring out the window, your teacher’s voice faded away into the background as you watched cars speed by to destination unknowns, the sunlight twinkling off reflective paint a mocking reminder of how cold you felt despite the afternoon heat. You always thought you had hit rock bottom before, but it seemed that that had been nothing but a false bottom just waiting to spring open. What were you even thinking? Trying to make friends as if you could? You failed, those whispering voices laughed at you repeatedly, their taunts echoing in your head and in your ears. You failed.

You tried to pull yourself together as best you could - perhaps it was all just a misunderstanding. Maybe your classmates had mistook someone else for you. But then why was this feeling of dread settling comfortably into your gut as if it had always been there? Or this incessant thought that all your friendships were built on nothing but pity? You failed not just yourself. You failed them.

It was a miracle you made it to lunch without so much a leaky nose, having barely held yourself together through the various classes and murderous looks that you probably deserved with nothing more than tightly pursed lips and a silent vow to yourself to not further embarrass everyone you knew. But as the clock ticked down little by little to lunch and you spotted the all too familiar mob of lilac hair settling just outside the wall of your classroom, you came to the quick realization that there was no way you could face Mitsuya without instantly bursting into tears - the same hastily, desperately, erected walls that you had holding back the quickly surging tide of emotions would crumble. The knot of dread and shame that settled in the base of your gut only grew and grew.

And then the bell went off.

“Hey!” Mitsuya stepped forward to greet you as you appeared through the doorway of your classroom, arms spread for his routine hug you never failed to return. The eagerness at spending his precious lunch time with you was clearly written on his face, yet you couldn’t even face him. “Let’s head to -”

Wordlessly, you shoved past him, reddening eyes and cheeks hidden in your sleeves, and you disappeared into the growing crowd.

You didn’t return to school. It was the first time you had ever skipped school too; ironic that it was this meaningless nonsense that finally broke your back and not the group’s persistent invitations of fun and adventure. Your feet trailed a path you knew so well, and you found yourself back at the small lazy river snaking its way downstream noiselessly - the smell of grass and flowers and water bringing back those memories of many happier days spent here with your friends, imagined or otherwise.

How could you face the others like this as an absolute failure? And those nagging voices pipped up once more - had those six boys even really been your friends? The simple question stumped you; what should have been a clear and resounding ‘yes’ instead turned into a strong sense of being stranded and lost in your own mind at the same time.

You didn't even know what you did to your classmates. Has your classmates' friendliness been nothing more than pure imagination? Then were Mikey's and Baji's and the others’ fake too? Could you have just been seeing their eager eyes and bright smiles in your head? What if they left you? Certain that you wouldn't like the answer to that question, you pushed it to the back of your mind like the rest of your pathetic existence as you huddled further into your jacket, desperate for some comfort, any comfort. Kicking a stone down the path, the river continued to flow undisturbed even as you failed to stop the tears that welled up and poured down your cheeks in hot streams, or the hiccups and whimpers that leaked from between bitten lips.

Even still, no matter how much you doubted your own judgment, the sunlight that tanned your skin yet failed to warm you didn’t seem to brighten your world as much as when you had been with them.

Stumbling back home alone wasn’t anything you weren’t familiar with, having done it every day before you met Baji and Mikey. Your feet were sore from hours of walking down alongside the river, yet they still faithfully carried you home, trudging the dead streets in the light of the evening sun. But so caught up in your self pity were you that you almost failed to notice all 6 of the boys already waiting for you, scattered in smaller groups along the street outside your house. You instantly froze upon catching a glimpse of that unmistakable gray checkered jacket from the corner of your dry, bloodshot eyes, but it was too late, Mikey having already spotted you, expectant gaze turned from the overcast sky to meet yours. The rest looked up when you meekly approached, eyes lowered and not daring to look at what you assumed was fury - at you? - blazing in those gazes.

For a moment, all was silent. Even the wind who had been faithfully drying your tears stilled in that moment, and you thought you fucked up this friendship too. It was all over for you.

But when a cold drink was thrust into your hands by a red-faced and mumbling Baji, and Draken rested a hand atop your head and gently asked you what happened, you couldn't hold back the tears any longer, your already painful eyes squeezing as a fresh wave ran down your cheeks. You couldn’t care less about what you looked like any more.

“I don’t understand,” you mumbled under your breath, delicate fingers white from clutching desperately to the worn strap of your school bag. “Is it me?”

Was it something you did? Was it something you said? Maybe it was just you? You didn’t dare look up again at the boys, a fresh wave of hot painful tears spilling from eyes already swollen from the earlier pity party you threw yourself. And the silence you received in response only seemed to align with what you always believed deep down. Pathetic. You must look absolutely pathetic, a sniveling mess in your crumpled uniform. This must be what your classmates had seen of you, yet there was not much you could do in the moment to change - to improve - that in front of the six boys you naively called friends. “I’ll - go. If it’s me.”

If they wanted you gone, the least you could do was pick up what was left of your broken heart and make sure you do your best to never let them have to look at you again. Maybe move across Japan, maybe even overseas. No one would need or want such a pitiful friend to throw a wet blanket on their day, and you understood that well. You wouldn’t hate them in the slightest for their decision.

A blink, and you found yourself engulfed in a warm comforting hug, familiar arms wrapped around you as best as they could under and around your bag straps. “Don’t be stupid.” Mitsuya sighed out, one hand running soothingly through your hair and a rare indulgent smile pulling at his lips when you finally broke down and started bawling into his shoulder, yet the boy barely seemed concerned with the growing wet patch on his shirt as you buried your shame in the depths of the soft cotton.

‎

What you didn’t know was just shy out of range of your still fragile emotions and your cone of view, it was a breath of relief your six friends hadn’t even realized they’ve been holding that was let slipped and floated off on the light breeze, the tension that had been draped heavy over them finally lifting.

When they had first heard of you simply shoving past Mitsuya at lunch to run off by yourself through said boy’s worried messages and calls to Mikey, they weren’t quite sure what to think. Maybe it had just been a bad day? Completely possible, given that they did have a hand in contributing to that. But it was only when you failed to return to your classes after lunch (a first ever for you, you cared far too much about your studies to ever skip) was when the panic finally started to sink in, settling into the base of their gut like an uncomfortable glop. Instantly leaping to his feet, Mikey was barking out orders and everyone was racing to their assigned search area, fanning out to look for any sign of you.

Anger, irritation, anything that wasn’t you being back in their arms had all seemed to melt away from their thoughts as they combed the streets. Have you figured out what they did? Were you trying to run from them, break off your friendship? What if you left? Unthinkable consequences the boys were hesitant to even consider should thoughts have power, and chose to collectively sweep under the rug when such possible outcomes were brought up during their secret meetings in the shadows of Musashi Temple. How to plead their case to you was not something any of them was eager to find out.

But for all the anxiety and sweat and tears you put them through, was this all you had been worried about? That they, of all people, would be disappointed you couldn’t make friends by yourself?

“You’ll- you’ll let me know i-if I m-m-mess up?” You managed to whimper out between your adorable hiccups, flushed cheeks only serving to highlight bloodshot eyes.

You hadn’t even stopped to consider the one-eighty in your classmates, about your sudden shunning in school and whether they had a role in that. Such a heretic thought must have never even crossed your mind, and it was then that it dawned on them they could truly do no wrong in your eyes: not your beloved friends who cared deeply for you. And that was what they liked so much about you - that you never doubted them, only yourself.

No response was needed for such a silly question - you could never ‘mess up’ in any way that would matter to them when it came to not ‘making friends’ - and you were quickly and roughly yanked off Mitsuya by a grinning Pah, momentarily stunning you out of your crying as you were sent flying for a brief second. “Kazutora, catch!” Landing smack in said boy’s chest, the boy with the black and gold hair only had enough time to toss your bag onto a nearby bench and sneak in a quick yet tight hug before you were once again pulled away, a flash of long black momentarily blocking your sight as Baji earned himself a loud cry of indignation. Kazutora once more attempted to launch himself at you, only to miss and be sent flying at Mikey instead.

Your anxiety and tears were no match against the sheer force of your friends’ cheer as each boy took turns yanking and pulling you into their own big hugs, the tried and true exaggerated pats on your back and hard ruffles of your hair not failing to pull your lips upwards. “Bastards,” The lilac-haired boy could only shake his head at having you pulled from his arms, but the smile on his lips was clear, and he reached out to grab you mid-flight for a quick cuddle before allowing you to be stolen away again by a cheeky Draken. Hiccups morphing into giggles and into all-out laughter as you were pulled here and there, you couldn’t help the happiness bubbling up into your chest and bursting free, your face buried into various shoulders and chests (and a single armpit, courtesy of Mikey).

“What did your shitty classmates do this time?” Baji sneered, as he dodged under Kazutora’s arm, pulling you out of reach from those grabby fingers.

“It’s not them, I-”

Mikey cut you off. “Nah, it’s definitely them.”

As the others echoed the same view, under the barrage of assurances that you couldn’t possibly fuck up, not with them, the fear that had been weighing on your chest, that made it hard to breathe, finally lifted. Your arms grabbed from the sides by Kazutora and Mikey, you had no choice but to laugh along as you were all but mobbed by your friends, frogmarched towards their bikes for yet another adventure with them, something to clear your mind and heart they claimed, though you did pull away just before they could haul you onto the back of a bike.

“Sorry about your shirt, Mitsuya,” You scratched at the back of your hair, your gaze darting between the wet stain on his shirt before and the dusty ground. “I’ll wash it for you, I promise.”

He only waved off your apology, lightly dusting your hair with his knuckles before herding you towards where the rest were waiting. “You smiling again is good enough for me.”

With the cheer and laughter that surrounded you almost constantly throughout what remained of the day, the niggling worries and anxiety at the back of your mind quickly melted away under the setting evening sun, the dying rays of light bringing with them your sorrows and fears. Even if the scars stayed forever embedded deep in your heart, there was nothing to worry about, you were sure about that, your mind once more building up the strength to push down the taunting voices that said otherwise. You didn’t need more friends. All the friends you needed were right here, with you. They did care.

“I can do this. I can do this.” You repeated under your breath like a mantra, attempting to steel your nerves as best you could. Going back to the mutterings and hostile looks behind your back the next day was tough, not after the previous evening’s distractions. Even if you were prepared, knowing what was coming, the first icy glare and your confidence was once more ready to crumble - this was a lot harder than it looked. But this time, you persevered, trying to allow the seemingly infinite anger directed at you to wash away with every step, though that didn’t always work. “I can do this.”

It would certainly be a while before you could walk down the corridor with your head held high, or until your self-esteem recovered enough to stop muttering apologies to whoever seemed even the slightest bit annoyed at your existence, but you were sure you could get there in time. You did have lunch and after school to look forward to now. With your real friends.

‎

Relief. Pure, unadulterated relief.

That was all the boys could feel when you enthusiastically waved them off at school, your figure disappearing past the bend of a wall as the shrill scream of the school bell pierced their ears. You didn’t actually find out what they did behind your back - they had all but thought you gone, having left in disgust. And your disappearance, despite you returning to the safety of the group, all but sealed the fact that what happened over the weekend was nothing you needed to know. And you probably didn’t want to either, your fragile self unable to handle all the nasty, grisly details that they were keeping you safe from, sheltered and protected from the harsh realities of the sinister world out there.

The threats dished out almost casually by Mikey and the beatings dealt out by Baji, or the blood on Kazutora’s hands and the crunch of bones under Draken’s. It was all for you.

Despite their intended outcome being to hit where it hurt the most, in this case your feelings and self-esteem - they did know your personal flaws very well - the sight of your face red with tears, combined with the gut-wrenching sadness pouring through glossy doe eyes, felt much like a stab to their chest. The pain and fear smeared across your expression was almost too much even for these delinquents to bear.

“First time, last time,” Baji said grimly, turning to trudge the few steps back to his motorcycle as the courtyard of your school emptied of the last loitering students, though the sentiment wasn’t exactly echoed by the others. Even if the momentary pain that they put you through was justified in the end, the means was too painful to repeat. They could only hope that this truly was a one off, both for you and for them - deep down they knew they would do it all over again. Again and again, however many times it takes to sink it into your head. But right now, at this moment, this feeling surging through their veins, it was liberating. Your real friends no longer need to worry about any of your school garbage stealing you away from them, no more.

You were truly theirs, and only theirs.

‎

Days and weeks passed in a flash, and you don’t think you’d ever been happier. The hours melted away like ice cream in the middle of summer, your time torn between school, friends and much to the dismay of the boys, work. Despite their insisting that you should just play with them, that you really didn’t have to work, you still had been taking as many errands as your limited time allowed. And any money you earned went almost entirely towards those bentos crafted specially for each member of the group that took a whole day to make, filled to the brim with their favorites, which you would have never been able to afford without the extra allowance. The appreciative smiles and the empty boxes you received in return made your effort, time and darkening eyebags all worthwhile.

Arguments and tensions within the group never lasted long with you present, easily diffusing their hot tempers and that itch to fight with just a crack of a smile or a small laugh that slipped through. Life was easier and a hell lot more fun with you around, and everyone in the group knew that.

Yet for all their effort day after day, no matter how hard your dear friends labored thanklessly trying to keep you away - to protect you - from anyone and anything that might steal you away from them, you still somehow manage to slip under their defenses time and time again. Be it a kind word to some random (scumbag, they just know it) guy, or an offer of help to a random passing stranger who looked the slightest bit lost, you could never seem to keep your attention where it belonged, and their efforts to intervene and keep you safe were far from watertight. After all, you were all just kids busy living your own lives, and keeping you within sight of at least one of them at all times wasn’t something that they were capable of at the moment.

Worse still, your tendency to wander off from them wasn’t an issue that your friends could settle with a one-off beating dished out behind your back. You were no social magnet, a known fact to all, so why couldn’t you stay in your lane? Why must you insist on exposing yourself to unnecessary danger?

‎

It was one of those sweltering afternoons - the kind where the sun beating down mercilessly atop heads was enough to redden skin and foul the best of moods - on which it finally sunk in on Draken just how reckless, how carefree you could be. What was supposed to be just a normal patrol round your little neighborhood quickly curdled like fresh milk on stumbling upon you surrounded by a group of boys, his already wretched mood souring further. Rival gangsters, Draken’s mind filled in in the next heartbeat, the eye-catching logo decorating their large backs glowing lightly in the shadows only serving to taunt him. And then you, looking even more delicate against threateningly larger figures, a bright smile on your face as you gave directions to them, which only fan the flames of his growing temper, his hands unknowingly clenching into tight fists at his side.

Of all the days for none of your friends to be free to accompany you on your mundane route, of all the times to have this very rare downtime with no one scheduled to you, it just had to be today and right now. You were supposed to be on an errand for your neighbor, Draken knew that, a simple delivery. He checked your schedule yesterday, and he checked it again earlier today. So why weren’t you focusing on your task? Why were you going out of your way to help some nobodies again, exactly what they told you not to do?

The vein that had already throbbing away in his forehead was now on the verge of bursting when you saw fit to see them off with a friendly wave, and their reply to all of your your generous help was to fucking blush and blurt out hurried thank yous. Things that would have earned them a trip and long stay in the nearest hospital, but not anything that would be suitable to dish out in front of your innocent eyes. Draken was way past pissed, not just at them, but at you. Didn’t you know how hard your friends were working to keep you safe? Were you just spitting in their faces?

“Hey.” Hand shooting out to grab at your arm, fingers instinctively tightening around flesh like they always did in a fight, though the initial harsh grip he had all but crushing you quickly softened when you seemed to jump at the sudden onset of pain, panic clear on your face as you whirled around.

“I’m sor- oh! Ken-chin!”

The fear was quickly replaced with a smile as bright as the afternoon sun above, as if you hadn’t just ruined his entire afternoon, your cheeks flushed from the heat beating down on you. And the sight of your cheer was somehow enough to calm him down from his rage. Draken could never stay mad at you for long - not you of all people, with those doe eyes shining up at him. Instead opting to toss a mask at you (one of those things that he always carried around for this sort of emergency), you obediently slipped it on without question, by now probably used to your friends’ weird tendencies and habits when it came to being out and about you.

“You ready? Come on,” was all the golden-haired boy with the dragon tattooed told you. And you unquestioningly slipped your hand into his offered one, allowing your tall friend to lead you down familiar roads, Draken making sure to escort you straight to your errand’s endpoint (a friendly old man who ran a small corner store the boys frequented) and then back home, only pausing to send off a quick text to Mikey about his disrupted patrol. His hands still itched for a pummel, but not that you knew of course, simply glad for the company, and you waved him off from the porch of your house with a pack of his favorite snack.

‎

It was only that fateful afternoon, for the very first time, that something stirred deep in the guts of your six self-proclaimed closest (and only) friends, a feeling that the boys soon discovered all of them shared. Before, with your classmates and your other little misadventures, it had been an easy fix to hoard your attention and your time for themselves. But they knew this far-from-little issue you had had always ran deeper than these surface-level interactions that they watch play out again and again - you were too naive, too fragile, too nice to live without them. Unable to stop yourself from helping any random scum you came across, unable to stop trying to find “new friends” you didn’t need and who were likely to take advantage of you and your kindness. They were your friends first after all, and they were the only friends you needed. They alone deserve all of your time and your care and your love - a finite supply that wasn’t to be shared with the undeserving. You needed their protection more than ever.

“A gang?” The six boys watched carefully as your expression fell, the mix of worry and confusion they had been expecting showing in those doe eyes of yours as if on cue. “Is that…um… dangerous?”

The night had started off as what seemed like just another regular weekend night, one of many they spent hanging out in the shade of Musashi Temple, sheltering from the light drizzle pattering the stone tiles just a few steps away from where you seven sat, munching on snacks and discussing the day’s events like you did every other week. But the mood had instantly shifted when Mikey had tried to slide the topic by you.

“Well,” Pah scratched at his ear. “Yes, but so are other gangs.”

“Other gangs?”

Baji slapped him on the back of his head, having spotted the wince Pah missed. “What Pah meant,” the black-haired boy shot the other a dirty look as he continued, though Pah simply ignored him. “Is that there’s a big gang that’s been harassing us. Black Dragons, Kazutora lives on their territory.”

Your gaze shot to Baji, the anxiety now written all across your face as you made to stand. “Harassing? Are you boys safe? Should we go to the police?”

It was Baji’s turn to get slapped on the back of his head, this time by Draken, who only tsked when the other choked on the onigiri he had just bitten into.

“No, no, we’re fine,” Mitsuya placated, tugging you back down. “But it’ll be safer for us to have a gang to fight back rather than trying to take them on individually.”

That was technically the truth, that the Black Dragons contributed to their decision - well, it was a partial truth, but there was no lie. They hated to ever have to lie to innocent, little you.

Yet at the same time, it wasn’t exactly the whole truth. Sure the announcement seemed out of the blue, impulsive even, with the way the idea was slid almost casually into their conversation. Yet the decision had already been made a few nights before on the true impromptu suggestion from Baji, and an equally unplanned unanimous agreement from the rest, away from the presence of your eyes and ears. But you didn’t need to know the whole truth anyways, just enough to convince you to willingly accept the protection of their new gang. And the night you agreed was what made the gang as official to them as it was to you.

“So does that mean I can jo-”

“No.” The newly crowned gang leader cut you off before you could even finish your question, those abyss eyes turning to fix on your gaze.

You cocked your head in confusion. “No?” You echoed. “Why not?”

“You can’t join.” Mikey pursed his lips stubbornly as the others shuffled their feet nervously, their silence only unknowingly adding to the tension they felt weighing on their shoulders. “I won’t let you. What if you get hurt?”

“But it sounds fun,” You pouted, yet they knew instantly that wasn’t the biggest of your concerns - knowing you, it was the all what-ifs running through your head, you probably thinking you could somehow stop your friends from getting hurt, stop them from unnecessary fights. The mere thought of that was enough to warm their hardened delinquent hearts, though feel-good thoughts didn’t work either on this boy. There was no standoff though as Kazutora had initially feared; you instantly caved, throwing your hands into the air in surrender. “Alright, alright.”

“So you won’t join, right?” Draken clarified, and you nodded contentedly, a light smile as you leaned back against the old wooden beam.

“You can be an honorary member!” Kazutora immediately blurted out, unable to keep the relief from flooding through his veins, as the others burst into cheers, throwing their arms around you and pulling you into side hugs, pumping the snacks they were holding into the air. The most dreaded part of this entire operation was now history, and with you behind their decision, everything else was trivial in comparison.

Now, even the duo-colored haired boy couldn’t say exactly why he had been so worried to begin with. You were you, after all, and you were happy just to be included in this new exciting venture with your true friends, accepting the honorary member status with equal eagerness and glee. Laughing as you waved away their assurances about how it was as good as being a full member, or how they just wanted to keep you safe by not involving you in their fights, or even how you would have your very own version of their uniform, your giant smile told them all they needed to know as you ruffled and combed your fingers through their hair. You seemed just glad not to be left out.

“You boys… haven’t decided on a logo yet? Not even a name?”

Draken ruffled your hair as he dug into an onigiri. “We were waiting on you, punk.”

And for the rest of the new founders, now with you happy and safe under their protection, the Tokyo Manji gang burst onto the scene like a storm.

‎

Mikey’s birthday was one of those events that you had been expecting for a long time yet still surprised you when it finally did pop up on your calendar. You had pondered here and there about presents, but hadn’t quite come to any particular conclusion as to what to get someone like Mikey - maybe a bunch of taiyaki? Everything you could think up felt simply too normal for such a special occasion, and you instead decided to crowdsource an opinion.

A humid and hot afternoon, combined with the lack of the slightest trace of wind, had resulted in a lazier and needier than usual boy, though you were always glad to indulge Kazutora during his lunches with you as you did with everyone else. Relaxing the shade of an overpass and sheltered from the brutal heat, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to find the duo-colored hair delinquent cuddled in your lap, burying his face into your soft thighs while you run one hand through his hair, humming along as your friend blabbered about anything and everything that came to mind in between his whines for you to keep up the hair stroking. But the peace was momentarily broken when he brought up the issue of Mikey’s birthday and present.

“So I’mma steal a bike for Mikey.” Kazutora announced proudly. You had to admit his idea was on the surface sound and logical - you had known that Mikey came back from one of those road trips the boys went on without his precious moped, but you hadn’t been willing to prod too much into what happened, not with how vacant his eyes had been. But still -

“Absolutely not.” You chided lightly, lifting one hand to flick the middle of his forehead and break his train of thoughts. Kazutora’s gaze instantly flew to meet yours upon impact, clear confusion swirling behind his sandy brown eyes.

“Wha-” No matter how sure you were about the little flick that hurt you a lot more than your delinquent friend, it didn’t stop the tears from starting to swell up at the corner of his eyes. You’ve never raised a hand against any of them before. Ever. So why him? “T-that hurts.”

You steeled your heart as best you could in the face of his upset, though the sight of his reddening cheeks felt like a stab in your chest. All you could do was truly hope that he understood your intention, that he didn’t hate you for what you were doing. “Felonies would hurt a lot more, I would think. You are absolutely not going to steal a motorcycle.”

“B-but Mikey needs a bike! And bikes need to be handed down to us by seniors… they cost so much!”

That was also true, yet at the same time, there was no way you could just let your dear friend waltz off into the night and get himself into unknown heaps of trouble. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you did, and you knew that.

Yet, you still paused before you answered. You knew what needed to be done, but the niggling doubt almost broke free from the back of your mind where it had been banished. Could you really? It was a whole motorcycle - not just some handicraft you could pop into a store to get some materials and knock something out in a few days. A bike would mean the world to Mikey though, you knew that, even with the what-ifs - you found yourself speaking before you could finish thinking. “I’ll get him a bike.”

The unexpected confidence took both you and Kazutora aback. “You?” The boy carefully echoed.

You forced out a firm nod before you could attempt to backtrack at the heavy responsibility, biting the inside of your cheek. “Yes, me. I will do it.”

Though you weren’t quite done with this particular topic, the severity of your gaze unlike anything else you had ever dared level at your friends. “Promise me you’ll not go through with the plan to steal a bike.”

And a visibly frightened Kazutora quickly complied, the implication of not doing so carried wordlessly by the wind. “I-I promise I won’t steal a motorcycle for Mikey.”

“Promise promise?”

He held up his pinky finger. “Promise promise.” You took it.

Now armed with the verbal promise, the scary gaze quickly faded away - the few minutes of being that serious had already completely drained you, your fingers starting to thread through silky hair.

Tugging at the shirt of your school uniform, the flood gates opened once more as tears once more ran down his cheeks, Kazutora rubbing at where you had struck him earlier. “I-it hurts-s, I want kisses.”

“Okay, okay.” You finally relented. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

‎

You were truly glad that your friends had stopped you where they did you mused, as you rounded yet another corner, the sky above having already been dark for several hours.

Even though you had given yourself extra lead time, and with blood pumping and excitement in your chest building, the week building up to D-day turned out to be anything but fun. Well, you did kind of expect that to be fair. Your friends, probably already having guessed what you were attempting, had barred you from anything to do with Mikey’s party, insisting that you focused on your present. Yet everyday still seemed like the longest day, and you stopped keeping track of where the sun was in the sky as school and work blended together. With your phone constantly ringing in your ears, and you always being on the move, the hours seemed to drag on forever, tracking every lead you have on a bike that Mikey would be proud to own. At the same time, the days seemed to wash by like water down your favorite river, peacefully slipping by one suffering minute at a time. It was endless hell running from place to place, and the phone calls from your various old clients with tip offs kept coming.

Your routine had all but gone out the window as you struggled to keep your searching a secret from Mikey; sleeping just the bare minimum of hours at night before heading to school, followed by spending your arranged time with the boys and rushing to and fro errands, before finally being able to restart your search when the sun disappeared from the overhead sky. Under the yellow overhead streetlights that lined quiet roads, and the biting cold wind that ate at your skin, you found yourself in places that you never expected to visit; those little alleyways that wound behind city buildings, speaking with people you never expected to speak to. Thankfully, everything turned out well for you, with every person you came across being polite and kind, pointing you in the right directions, until you finally, finally, had something you could work with. An older model of bike for sure, but the engine was good (or at least that was what he assured you), and the bike rode fine. And it even came with an unexpected surprise, the previous owner agreeing to sell it to you for cheap - just fifty thousand yen, which was all you managed to save up despite taking more jobs - in return for some mild favors, which you happily agreed to.

‎

The bike was rough, very rough. Even if you did find exactly what you were looking for, the peeling leather and spotted metal was a clear indication even to inexperienced eyes just how many more hours of work laid ahead of you. You couldn’t lie about that, not even to yourself nor to the clock ticking down to the minutes to your absolute deadline. Yet there was no denying the pride swelling in your chest as you carefully wheeled your prize back to your small garage, amusement pulling soft lips up at how the motorcycle seemed to look even worse under the bright white lights that hung low from the ceiling. At least it started, right?

Retrieving a small case of tools, a heap of towels, and a beginner’s manual to motorcycles that had seen better days, you got to work. Just five days left, and at this point, you weren’t sure if you would make it.

Cross fingers.

Pulling every string and connection you had painstakingly built with every errand ran, it was still a race against the clock to get the various bits and pieces you needed customized to perfection. You even skipped an entire day of school (secretly of course, Mikey couldn’t find out) just to rush to the edge of town to pick up some expedited parts for your build. Bicycle skidding to a halt, you found the store owner seated in the doorway of his unlit shop, cigarette lazily held in one hand, a cloth-wrapped bundle by his side. Gaze rising to meet yours as you ran the last few steps, he carefully handed over your order, brushing aside the canvas to reveal its package to you. “Here’s your part. Lucky I had one spare lying around.”

Your mouth o-ed as you gaped at your reflection in the perfectly glazed metal, and you were sure that your eyes were all but sparkling when you looked up. “It’s amazing! Thank you for rushing it, ojisan!”

“Oji- hey! I’m not that old!” The older black-haired man spluttered indignantly, though the small smile he was sporting told you otherwise.

You laughed as you ran off, fuel tank cover tucked neatly under one arm, waving at the store owner with your other. “See you later, ojii-san!”

‎

A few hours later, and you were ready to throw the wrench you had been holding out the window and bash your head into the wall, the light and warmth of the sun having long been replaced with the cheeky glimmer of moonlight and the cool breeze. How could replacing a single part be this difficult? Letting out an exaggerated sigh, you instead opted to allow the metal tool to slip to the ground with a clatter, bringing both hands up to rub at weary eyes. This entire endeavour had been a lot tougher than you had imagined, and this stupid manual did little to explain what you needed to do despite it claiming to be for beginners.

“Goddamn book,” you grumbled. You did have one out of course - you really hated to bother him more than you needed to, even if the former owner of the motorcycle had given you his blessing to call him whenever necessary - but this was truly an emergency. There was no way you were ever going to figure this out yourself. Picking up your phone, you took a deep breath.

A ring, two rings, and then the call connected.

“Hey! Sorry for calling this late.” You paused, sneaking a glance at the small clock balanced carefully on the edge of one shelf. “Were you asleep?”

“If I was, I’m not anymore am I? What’s up?” Came his familiar bemused voice over the phone, and you swore you could see the twinge of his lips carried in that soothing tone. Yet despite him not sounding the least bit sleepy to you, his soft breathing accompanied by the occasional clinging of metal against metal in the background that suggested some sort of workshop, you couldn’t quite shake the twinge of guilt that settled on your chest. How could you keep imposing on someone that already helped you so much?

“Sorry for disturbing you again um - I’ll hang up- ”

But he cut you off before you could finish, the sudden rise in volume had you wincing slightly. “No!” A deep inhale, before the boy on the other end continued, his voice once more even and low. “No no, it’s fine, you’re not a bother at all. I told you not to apologize so much right? It’ll get you in trouble some day.”

“Sorry.” You couldn’t help but blurt out again, your hand quickly flying up to slap your mouth in horror when you realized what you did - you were sure that the clap of flesh was clearly audible through the phone along with your mortification.

A chuckle, and then a creak; and that was all it took to distract you from the start of a downward spiral of anxiety. You could almost just imagine the boy on the other side of the line leaning forward in his chair, elbows pressed down on his thighs, phone propped against one ear. You couldn’t quite pinpoint why the mental image made your cheeks flush and burn, but you quickly brushed those particularly intrusive thoughts aside when his voice echoed across the phone again. “So why’d ya call?”

“Oh! Um-” You startled, nearly dropping the manual you had propped open in your lap when you tried to shift backwards on the small stool you were perched on, one slim finger running down the page in a hasty attempt to recall which part of the complex text you had been stuck at for the past hour. “It’s a bit silly, but I’m stuck at changing the oil filter.”

“The oil filter?”

“Yeah, the manual only - wait,” Flipping the page back and forth failed to materialize any of the information you actually needed, and you sighed as you let the page drop. “The manual only says you need to change it, but not where it is or how. I have a new one with me, but I’m super stuck.”

There was no reply to your question, your phone instead picking up the sound of hurried whispers that you couldn’t make out, followed by a few soft creaks of metal. His voice suddenly booming back over the speaker almost gave you a heart attack, but he did at least bring good news. “The oil filter’s at the bottom of the bike, near the front wheel. Do you have a torque wrench? The bit should be - uh - hexagonal-ish.”

“Let me check,” You sighed out, turning to fumble inside your toolbox with only the vaguest idea of what that particular tool looked like. This was going to be a long night.

Long, as you found out, was in fact a generous term for those few days (and nights) leading up to Mikey’s birthday. Because when D-day finally rolled around and the last bolt was tightened into place, it was pure relief that swept through your veins, and you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything more than drag your exhausted self straight up to bed and collapse into the inviting soft bed and pillows, only pausing to switch into a clean shirt. You fell asleep before your head hit the pillow.

But alas there was no rest for the wicked, and peace was not meant to be. Because boy did D-day start off with a bang. Literally. You were jolted awake from your sleep by the cry of your ringtone, and you fumbled for the device screaming away without a care from your bedside table. “H-hello?”

Your name was hollered through the speaker, barely audible against the rumble of engines and the very distinctive, very unmistakable sound of police sirens, and you immediately sat up. “Pah?! What happened?”

There was a scuffle as the phone was seemingly passed to another of your friends. “We got in a fight, but the police were especially fast today,” Draken laughed out, the wind zipping past him making him sound a thousand miles away. “Can we hide out at yours?”

“Garage’s open,” you replied automatically, and then the roar of engines flaring up before the call cut. Thank goodness past-night you had the foresight to hide Mikey’s present away when you were done, the bike tucked neatly and securely in a corner no one would think to look at (behind a shelf of books that is). One quick breakfast later, and you were off to school, content with letting your friends hang around - it was a strange choice all things considered to attend classes on this special day, given you had skipped out for less. But you had your reasons, and your classes were spent with your head nestled in your folded arms, fast asleep behind propped up books, attempting to claw back as much of your lost sleep as you could - today definitely wasn’t a day you wanted to accidentally fall asleep on. Never again, you swore, the all-nighters you had pulled repeatedly now back to haunt you.

As it turned out, your choice of small naps in school throughout the day was actually the right one, given how you were instantly ambushed when you returned home in the afternoon, the cloudy overhead sky seemingly out to taunt you with the ideal napping weather.

Your front door slammed open, the eager figure of Kazutora already halfway out before he could finish his sentence. “You’re back! Let’s go already!”

“H-huh? Wai-” Thrown over his shoulder and rushed off to your garage before you could blink, you found yourself being unceremoniously dumped into the passage seat of a bike and whisked off to god-knows-where despite never quite having the opportunity to set your bag full of books down, your Toman friends’ motorbikes filling every of your senses even as your head whirled with your lack of sleep and the quick pace of events. Didn’t stop your laughter from bubbling up and over though, as the chilly, blinding winds that tore at your eyes and ears woke you straight back up.

Somehow, someway, the entire day’s plan went off without a hitch. Entertaining Mikey had really been as easy as Draken had said, the boy overjoyed at being dragged from cafe to carnival and back to cafe, everyone having pitched in to spoil Mikey with all his best-loved foods and activities. You don’t think you’ve seen a person eat as many taiyakis in one sitting before today, though you only ruffled blond hair when he was finished - a birthday’s a birthday after all. And when night time fell, a very stuffed gang indeed rolled up to their favorite hangout on the bank of the lazy river, where you had secretly peeled away earlier to hide your present nearby. The weather was somehow amazing despite your initial worries of rain - the sky full of gray clouds that had been threatening to pour all day had finally moved along nicely - and the full moon had emerged from its cover of clouds.

‎

You certainly assumed that you were being sneaky Mikey mused, following your back fade into the dark of the night from the corner of his eye as you attempted to tiptoe away from the group as best you could. Yet even with the rest of his five friends trying their best to cover for you and him being faced almost completely away from you, there was no way he would let you waltz off that easily - you were the safest with him after all.

Yet it seemed that his crafty agenda (or so he thought at least) was discovered almost as quickly as Mikey made it up, Mitsuya immediately stepping between Mikey and his view of you.

“Shut up, I know you know.” The lilac haired boy whispered urgently under his breath, following that up with a quick slap to the back of Mikey’s head when he failed to release you from his gaze despite you throwing a cautious look backwards. “Just play along idiot.”

“Fine, fine.” He grumbled, finally allowing abyss eyes to drift from you to focus on the sight of Pah laughing alongside Kazutora. For all his curiosity on your comings and goings, Mikey wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you got sad over your little surprise being ruined.

Turning his attention back to the group, even the whoops and cheers of the rest of his friends as they set off sparklers didn’t quite mask the sound of new rubber creaking and rubbing against pavement as you fiddled with something behind his back, though Mikey was doing everything he could not to turn around. Just a few more minutes, the boy mentally chided himself, and he was on his last leg of self control when finally, finally - the moment everyone had been waiting for.

A pop of streamers, and he was forcibly whirled around to face you and his unknown present.

‎

“Happy Birthday from all of us, Mikey!” You laughed out, the barely held back excitement clear in your eyes as you tossed off the beige coverings with a flourish. And from under the seemingly plain canvas, the moonlight scattered across the polished surface of a gleaming CB250T.

The Toman insignia shone proud, a blaze of gold that popped out against the gloss black of the custom built fuel tank, somehow catching the light of the overhead streetlamp despite every inch of the motorcycle being equally cleaned and polished to perfection. The silver of the frame contrasting against the matt black of new tires, the brand of ‘Kamikaze’ across the front of the bike - it was clear that there was no shortage of love and attention, and a healthy amount of blood and sweat no less, that had been poured in to bring this present to reality. If he wasn’t busy gawking with his jaw dropped like an elementary schooler, Mikey was sure he would instead be occupied slapping himself silly trying to free himself from the dream he was sure he was trapped in. Because how could this be real?

Dropping the bike’s kickstand to allow it to stand free, you stepped back, the surge of anxiety having you bounce on your heels, fidgeting in vain to keep yourself calm waiting for a reaction. Did the boys like your work? Did Mikey like the bike? As the seconds ticked by undisturbed, you found yourself yearning more and more for just any reaction, your gaze flittering from one pair of eyes, the pounding of your heart away in your chest making it harder and harder to breathe. But for all the nervousness playing havoc on your mind in the single quiet moment before the storm, it seemed your worry was all for naught.

“Where did you- ” Was all Mikey could mutter out in the moment, stumbling forward to graze his fingertips across the cool metal, the streak of fingerprints left on previously unmarked areas only sealing that it was as real as him. Swinging round to take a brief glance at the rest of his now-oddly quiet friends, it was obvious that none of them were in the loop either, judging from the recognizable looks of astonishment reflected back at him, with Baji looking like he was on the verge of passing out, propping himself up against the safety rail.

Even Draken couldn’t seem to hold himself back from the tantalizing glimmer of moonlight in the pools of seemingly infinite darkness, his own black eyes swinging up to meet yours in shock. “Is that- ?”

You would be biting your nails at this point if your friends weren’t as vehemently opposed to the habit - it was getting harder by the second to suppress that particular urge. “D-do you like it?”

A moment of silence.

And then, absolute chaos - an onslaught as sudden and harsh as the unexpected wind that swept down along the small canal.

Letting out the breath you didn’t know you had been holding, your worry seemed a million miles away now as you leapt to throw your arms around an elated Mikey, allowing the blond-haired boy to bury his face into your chest even while you sent a secret wink at Kazutora. You did promise a bike that Mikey could be proud of come hell or high water after all, and the relief at being able to deliver was impalpable.

“Did you steal this?” Baji couldn’t help but blurt out in awe as he eagerly yanked Kazutora off the seat of the bike to have a go himself, asking the question everyone had already been thinking. “Where did you even get something like this from?”

“It’s a hand-me-down, I swear.”

The incredulous looks you got in response were clear enough that your friends didn’t need to put it into words, you laughing as you crossed your heart with a single delicate finger. “I swear, guys! Come on!”

“Must have crossed a fortune,” Draken muttered, squatting to take a look at the meticulously cleaned engine and the shiny pipes that made up the frame. “It looks new.”

You puffed up, a rare smug smile replacing the usual adorable one. “Previous owner upgraded recently or so I heard, I got it at an absolute steal! You should have seen the state it was in, I cleaned it up myself.”

“And the previous owner is…?” Mitsuya followed up, one eyebrow elegantly lifted as he watched his friends crawling all around the new toy.

“Can’t tell you that, I promised not to say. But it’s really a hand-me-down! Really!”

The Toman founders took your word for it - this was something they would never tell you about save you try to hide it from them, but you had a bad habit for wearing your entire heart on your sleeve, and the gleeful, shiny-eyed look you had gleaming from the depths of those wide eyes in the moment told them all they needed to know. You never lied to them before, and the boys had no reason to believe you would at a time like this either.

Grabbing the hanging keys from your smaller hand was child’s play, and so was wrestling a dumbfounded you into the back of the motorbike with a toothy smile. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Mikey roared, as party hats were quickly jammed onto everyone’s head and a helmet on yours. And off you went cheering into the quiet night, the goosebump-raising roar of motorbikes marking the start of the real celebrations.

‎

The next day, although a school day, had also been slated for the after-party celebration. One day was far from enough, and you did decide to skip class again, given it was the first birthday that you were celebrating with your friends. Though this still couldn’t quite explain why everyone decided that the best course of action to carry on the celebratory mood was to crash your house. That was how you found yourself with your friends strewn randomly, haphazardly across your bedroom floor, most of them opting for just a comforter thrown over the cool wooden floor, with only the birthday boy himself allowed to cuddle with you up in your bed, limbs tangled and face snuggled into your side. Why your house you suppose you would never find out you thought to yourself, considering that it was Mikey’s birthday and not yours. But you didn’t mind of course, not in the slightest, secretly pleased that they liked your place enough.

Or that was what you originally thought to yourself, until the group launched their unscheduled attack on you, now refreshed and determined to get answers from you on your earlier stunt. In your own room to boot.

‎

“Still not going to spill where you got the bike, huh?” Draken solemnly asked again, though you didn’t miss the mirth twinkling from behind his eyes or the amused quirk of the corner of his lips. You shook your head, only to quickly yip and try to wriggle away when Baji ran the feather you swore he pulled from your winter jacket up and down your foot, earning another round of giggles from you.

“W-wait! S-stop-p!” You squealed, and much to your relief, they did, allowing you to catch your breath for the first time in the past ten or so minutes of almost non-stop laughter.

“Gonna talk now?” Pah grinned, jokingly punching his hand.

“C-come on guys, I really-y-y - hehe - can’t tell you!” You pleaded almost tearfully, and the two boys who had been digging into your ticklish spots were already ready to cave, face with your watery eyes.

“Why not?” Kazutora chimed in, his head popping into your view from the side where he had been helping to keep one arm carefully pinned to the bed with his cheek.

“You know why! I promised!”

But Mikey had other ideas. “Guess we can’t stop then,” The blond-haired boy ordered, even as he turned his back on you to instead continue sucking on the lollipop you had given him earlier. “Carry on the punishment.”

“No waiiiiittt-“ Was all you could get out before the room once more filled with a symphony composed entirely from your hiccups and giggles and pleads for mercy, a joyful tune that didn’t fail to bring large smiles to all the boys’ faces as tears started to pour freely down your cheeks.

You still cooked them breakfast anyway.

‎

The thought of your non-answers faded from their minds as the days passed by even though they never did get the information they had been hunting for - not with the thrill of finally being able to roar down city and country streets alike together a top speed, Mikey’s new ride a fierce black and silver against the dull gray of paved roads, you whooping from the passenger seat. You had never lied to them, and your friends were more than willing to give you the benefit of their doubt this time, trusting that you really did just happen across someone wanting to pass down his CB250T. Even the registration and licenses matched up, with you having made the transfer in ownership to Mikey earlier on in secret before gifting the bike, although no amount of digging around seemed to give up the identity of its previous owner. You really did a good job with hiding your tracks, and the boys had to admit they were somewhat proud.

But despite your Toman friends hoping for these good times to never end, their honeymoon period came to an unexpected screeching halt.

“I still think there’s someone else in the picture,” The duo-colored boy grumbled bitterly, sandy brown eyes turned up at the empty sky. It was clear the incident that had played out just earlier that afternoon was still living rent-free in his head, the bite in his tone hard to miss for the other five gathered round. They knew what he was referring to, given it ran its course right after a fantastic lunch shared in the shade of an underground passage a stone’s throw from your home.

“Sorry boys, gonna have to pass for today.”

Those few words had been enough to catch the attention of the entire group, and six pairs of eyes instantly whirled round to land squarely on you. “B-but you always ride with us!” Baji protested, knuckles whitening as his hand tightened around his personalized bento box, the plastic creaking slightly under the force of his grip. Were you hiding something from them?

“I’ll let you ride with me,” Mikey offered, though even that wasn’t enough to sway you despite the bike being the same one you had poured your blood and sweat into, and you shook your head. It was the first time you had ever done that to your friends, let alone on a day as ideal as this for a ride - hot sun and a cool breeze that blew away any trace of sweat.

“It’s strange I know, but I have something I need to do.”

“I’ll come with you!” Kazutora immediately piped up, as he scooted forward to make room for you to ride passenger on his bike, patting the seat behind him. “It’s faster on a bike, right?”

But you only laughed, turning his offer down as sweetly as you always had, as if you weren’t shattering his whole world with your response. “It’s alright Kazutora! I won’t be long. You shouldn’t miss riding with the rest because of me.”

“Where’re you going?” Draken’s unusually serious gaze bore into you, though you simply waved it off.

“A small errand I have to do. They helped with Mikey’s bike, so I’m just returning the favor.”

“One errand?”

“Mmm! Just this once, I promise.” That smile you always had never fell as you hopped the few steps away from the group of bikes. “I’ll be back before you boys realize it!” And then you were gone, disappeared round the bend in the road, a skip in your step and a tune under your breath.

But your eyes had shone with the same sincerity as always when you waved them off from the porch of your house, arms laden with empty boxes, promising to prepare a snack when they returned. And you did as you promised. They weren't sure exactly when you reached home, but the hot, piping snack was ready on your dining table when they returned.

“Drop it, Kazutora.” Mikey drawled, tossing the wrapper of his lollipop into the bin behind him without a glance backwards, before stuffing the sweet into his mouth.

In the eyes of the group, there was no reason to push this issue any further with you - you told them what you were doing and why you were doing it. Besides, their hands were full as it is, with Toman’s strength swelling in size far more rapidly than they had previously anticipated. Too distracted between organizing new members and beating rivals, they were more than willing to let this seemingly one-off event slide. You wouldn’t do anything horrendous to your treasured friends would you?

‎

But then it happened again.

It always was the best day of the week when you appeared from the front gates of your school, bags of bento boxes slung over both arms.

“What’s for lunch?” Pah all but demanded, attempting to poke one grabby hand into the lunch bag, though it was quickly swatted away by Mitsuya, whose offer of help to alleviate your burdens was accepted.

You usually ate with at least one of them at lunch, but with the growing Toman and responsibilities that came with it, sunny afternoons like these were one of the few consistent times that you could see everyone together. Heading to the group’s favorite alleyway a stone’s throw from your school gates, you spread out a small blanket in the shade of the tall brick-lined walls as the boys yanked their own boxes from your bags, recognising their lunch by the furoshiki you always wrapped them in.

“Wait - fuck! That’s mine, asshole!”

One by one, the tops were cranked open, and the boys dug in. Yet even after all the various members of the group had their personal boxes, and putting yours aside on a space next to Draken, who you trusted to stop anyone attempting to have your lunch as well, you still had one box left in the bag.

“Ya counted wrong or something?” Pah-chin pointed at the remaining box, a confused look replacing the previous excited one on his face. “Ya brain turning to mush too?”

“Maybe it is all the studying getting to my head, Pah-chin.” You beamed, ruffling his tuft of hair slightly before carefully lifting the last box free and into the sunlight for the first time, the bento wrapped carefully in what seemed like a new furoshiki that none of them recognised - a crane print one with the elegant birds locked in an eternal dance on the silky cloth. “You boys go ahead, I’ll just drop this off and be right back.”

Before anyone could ask or even follow you, you were gone, leaving your friends alone and bewildered. What was going on?

You were cooking for someone else now? Wasn’t your cooking only for them? For your closest and dearest friends? Was this related to the previous time you flaked on their ride?

Judging from the irked looks being pulled across the faces of the various members, these incidents could no longer be overlooked. With no other way around it, your friends resolved to speak to you and help get your priorities straight. Even if you weren’t doing it on purpose, they couldn’t risk having you risking your safety through seeing someone else that they haven’t vetted. Or even worse, making new friends with literal strangers. You were bound to be taken advantage of with how kind and naive you were, and they must protect you from the harshness of the world.

And if you didn’t listen to them, well, that was an issue that they would deal with within their own world.

But alas, it seemed things were not meant to be that day, and the Toman founders instead found themselves being jumped by a group of delinquents in a uniform they didn’t recognise as they were steeling themselves for the talk. Already thirsting for blood - anyone’s blood at this point - their plan to corner you about your little side adventures was all but forgotten as your six friends flew into action under the shadow of the alley walls, the crunch of bones quelling their annoyance at being disrupted.

Noses were broken, guts were punched, and the newest Toman members were sent packing with their tails between their legs. Returning to a sight of the boys nonchalantly helping themselves to and finishing up your lunch, you could only bring yourself to only feel at most slightly annoyed at the empty box you returned to. Settling for just a sigh and a tutt, and sitting yourself down next to Draken so you could lean on him as support, you munched away at the sandwich you packed in case of emergencies like these as the rest laughed and joked and teased. You could never get angry at your friends.

And so life went on for you.

‎

It had been days since then, and tonight so happened to be one of those nights that Baji found himself once more unable to sleep. Maybe it was the hot and humid night, one of those where the wind was nowhere to be found and all he could feel was the sweat building up and pouring down his forehead, where even the stale breeze kicked up from riding full speed on his motorcycle didn’t seem to help. Or maybe it was the bright full moon that shone directly into his window, the light of which he couldn’t get out of his head. Whatever it was, the fact remained that Baji couldn't sleep, and even after winding up and down familiar empty city streets, he somehow found himself back on his street just further down the road, near where you lived.

These sort of nights always seemed to lead him back to you. He knew you wouldn’t mind if he crashed for a bit. A hot drink and a few of your tired blinks and yawns might be the cure he needs to rid himself of this restlessness. Maybe you’ll even let him crash with you for the night; perhaps your arms wrapped tight around him was just what he needed to sleep. The street in front of your house was always quiet at this time of the night - your neighbors were run-of-the-mill families who had work and school to wake for after all - and the only sounds that dared to break the silence as Baji tracked down the lifeless street was the flickering of bulbs overhead and the occasional chirp of crickets.

Or at least so Baji thought, pushing his bike along until your house finally appeared over the curve of the horizon. And there you were, standing in front of your house when you should have been asleep. Yet before he could call out to you, ask you what you were doing up so late past your bedtime, his voice died away when he saw your delicate hands wrapped around a helmet that didn’t look familiar, to the side of a bike that didn’t look familiar.

Illuminated by the light of the full moon behind you, Baji watched as you handed over the helmet shimmering in the night, your lips moving as you muttered something that he couldn’t hear. And then someone accepting it from you, a boy - his hands lingering on yours for an unacceptable amount of time before moving to hang the helmet loosely from his handlebar.

What was this he was seeing? What was this supposed to be? You didn’t even seem to notice Baji, one of your oldest friends, standing right here, the look of disbelief smeared clearly across his face, white knuckles still clutching the handlebars of his motorcycle even as he tried to force himself to move. Towards you? Away from you? Anything but this. Just let go and move, he screamed at himself from the confines of his mind, chapped lips mouthing nonsensical words.

But all Baji could do was stand and stare, his body frozen for reasons beyond him. And the worst part? Their eyes met. Just for a moment as that piece of garbage looked up and away from you, turning to glance down both sides of the street, but he saw, and he knew. He knew Baji was watching. The absolute bastard, who knew he was standing right there, leaned in close and caught your lips in a quick peck, before pulling away. And in that moment, under the yellow light of the overhead streetlamp, Baji watched your face flush, your hand moving up to touch your lips - in shock or horror he couldn’t tell. Or in love.

But that jerk wasn't done. As if he hadn't defiled your sweet face enough, his filthy fingers moved to run through your hair in what seemed like nothing more than a mocking copy of the heavenly way you ran your fingers through Baji's, gently tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear. And then turning in Baji’s direction to toss him one last smug grin as that bastard finally sauntered off, bike roaring into the hush night, all he could do was watch you - with his own two eyes - shly wave off that shitstain, before you turned and retreated into your house, a skip in your step.

Toman’s first division captain was bad at remembering a lot of things at school - math formulas, geography, whatever boring words his teachers had to say much to the anguish of his mum - but this was the one thing he would never forget. The face of this lesser-than-garbage who dared to steal his friend away that was now burned into the back of his eyelids. What were you thinking? How could you associate with criminal scum? Who knows what he has done with those foul hands of his that he touched you with so casually?

Now, more than ever, Baji couldn't bear to leave you alone without them, to be alone without you, and so he forced himself to wait right there, hands still firmly on the handlebars, his bike resting on his waist. Minutes ticked by, one painful minute at a time, or maybe they did. The breeze had picked up between then and now; it was now a harsh, biting wind that tore at his eyes and tossed his hair. His brain was screaming at him to report this - the boy simply knew he had to let the rest know - yet all he could numbly think about as he stood underneath the streetlamp, white noise buzzing in his ears, was how much he just wanted to check up on you.

He waited until he could not, his bare hands freezing on his handlebar, until he was sure it had been long enough between that dickbag leave and him arriving. Your spare key was where you had always left it, where it had always been: tucked away in a soft cotton pouch behind a loose wooden panel in the wall. Stopping his bike inside your heated garage, the warmth on his numb body was but a temporary relief, his last refuge before he had to face the storm. The turmoil in his gut only grew and grew with every step he took towards your front door. Baji hesitated, his fist resting on your door for a few moments, the turmoil within him too much for just a moment, before he finally moved to rap his knuckles.

Hearing you sing out "Coming!" from up top, something about that cheerful note hit him wrong. Unable to pinpoint what it was that he felt in that moment, Baji couldn't help the tears that started welling up, even when he tried to force his indiscernible feelings back down. Was it seeing you happy with someone else? Was it your continued cheer even after you betrayed your friends for a stranger?

And it was to his mournful face that you opened to, Baji immediately stumbling in, wrapping his arms tight around you, burying his face into your chest, the tears he couldn’t stop wetting the soft shirt you had on for the night.

“Baji?” You didn't seem surprised - you never did - simply standing still and allowing him to bawl his eyes out on your front step, wrapping your arms around him, gently stroking the back of his head and humming quietly to him. “You okay?”

He didn't even need to ask to stay; you bundled him into your room, your comforting arms wrapped around him as you ushered him to the low coffee table he knew so well. “Sit, okay? I’ll be right back.” Your low voice seemed to linger in your still bedroom as you disappeared out the door, leaving Baji frighteningly alone with his own thoughts.

And you were; with two mugs of hot chocolate in hand, the two of you silently sharing a drink in the darkness of your room, with only the occasional sniffle and the whistle of wind through your open window breaking the silence. You weren't like that, was what rolled through Baji's mind, as he crawled exhausted into your bed, you tucking him in under your sheets tight before turning in for the night yourself, the two empty mugs left neatly on your table to wash the next day. You wouldn't cheat on your friends- and definitely not your best friends, he tried to reassure himself, as he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his head into your chest, your hand coming to rest on the top of his head. You were too kind for that, his eyes flickered close as your breathing evened out. So why didn't he believe that?

Sending off the nightmare scene he had witnessed was Baji’s first priority as soon as his eyes popped open, the black-haired boy guiltily reaching over for his phone even while you snoozed on undisturbed. This was something he should have done the previous night, but no one could quite fault him for this delay; the mere thought of you seeing someone else, maybe even having a boyfriend, it almost broke the boys. Panic mode, armageddon, there didn’t seem to be a word that could quite encompass the instant turmoil.

This wasn't something they expected. It wasn't in the calculations. They weren't prepared. When did this happen? Your Toman friends thought they made sure to scare off any that had even the most remote chance of stealing you away from them. Was he where you got Mikey’s bike? Was this the favor and strings you pulled? How long have you been seeing him?

Despite the emergency this new development had plunged them into, the boys had still planned for their initial inquiry to be gentle. You were delicate, and your emotions even more so; they didn’t want to scare you off by coming on too strong or throw around false accusations that would drive you away. Maybe just a few quick questions weaved in between ordinary conversation about who that guy was and what was his relationship with you. Something that wouldn’t catch your attention too much while they investigated more behind the scene. But all their plans went out the window when Kazutora, unable to contain himself, with jealousy and anger written clearly across his face and burning in his gaze, stormed up to you the next morning. “Who was that?” He demanded, though his voice quivered and his eyes started to water. “Who was that bastard last night?”

‎

You didn’t deny it.

And the dam broke, with the rest of the group all but swarming you, each bearing their envy and resentment in their own special way. But you didn't even flinch in the face of your friends' raging insecurities, allowing them to pull at your limbs and rant and seethe and pout at you. Draken and Mitsuya with their standoffish attitude, content with seething internally and throwing you dirty looks through narrowed eyes, Pah-chin and Baji getting louder and louder trying to convince you of something you couldn’t quite make out, and Mikey and Kazutora all but yanking at your arms, their silent pleading conveyed through their shiny eyes.

To a certain extent, you could say that you were used to this - they did act up like this occasionally, especially when they wanted time that you couldn’t give them. This round was definitely what counted as an escalated tantrum, but you couldn’t really blame them in the end. It was your fault for hiding this from them, and you did feel guilty. Yet at the same time, you couldn’t say for sure why they were reacting so harshly. Weren’t they glad that you made a new friend all by yourself?

“What’s wrong?” You soothed their grasping hands. “I don’t understand yet, but I’ll listen.” What was it about your newest friend that they didn’t like?

He was part of a different gang, they tried to tell you, as you stood there patiently, soothingly. Riding under a different banner, fighting for a different leader. A rival; to Toman, to them, and to you. “You can’t see him! He’s not Toman!” Mikey insisted. What if he was just using you to get to them? What if he hurts you? Couldn't you see that?

Trying your best to calm them down, you allowed them to pull at your shirt even as you ran your fingers through their hair, pulling others into a hug and into your lap even as you answered their questions. Yes he did ask you on a date in return for his help with the bike - or rather, in return for his bike, you thought to yourself - but it was nothing serious. He just wanted to know you better, and vice versa. Yes, you also knew he was part of a different gang, clear from the insignia of his bike, but he never did bring it up nor hang it over your head, so you didn't either. And no, you didn’t like him that way, and him being there was no way diminishing how important your friends were to you. Hell, you could even say outright that he was in no way as important to you as your friends.

‎

“Just let me give him a chance,” yet you continued to plead on behalf of what they saw as literal trash, refusing to let up and just compile like you always did before. “It’s nothing serious I swear. He won’t get in the way at all.”

Your street was busy as it always was at this time of the day, the rumble of cars and trample of feet as your neighbors returned home after a long day, having long learnt to ignore the mass of bikes and people gathered on the porch of your house. You couldn’t seem to understand what they were trying to tell you - it wasn’t just about the very limited time you had to spend with them and your priceless love and attention that this scumbag was stealing away from them. You - your entire self - was actively being taken away from them, and you didn’t even seem to fight it? Were you trying to leave?

“Then why?” Draken raised an eyebrow, arms crossed over his chest in his clearest sign of displeasure.

You sighed, running one hand through your hair. “It was a promise I made, and you know I don’t like breaking promises. He helped a lot with your bike, you know.”

“I don’t care. I said no, and that means no.” Mikey huffed, brushing off the hand you had resting on his shoulder.

But you were still relentless, those doe eyes of yours shimmering with hope that they simply couldn’t understand. “Come on, you guys trust me, don’t you? Just this once, please? I promise I won’t do anything weird.”

They could do nothing but watch you thank them for their concern, waving a quick bye at them before disappearing into your house, a spring still in your step as if nothing wrong had happened. As if you hadn’t just tried to forsake whatever they had so painstakingly built for you for some stranger you didn’t know. They had failed you. You had failed them.

Where was your loyalty to Toman? To them?

With no other option open to them, it seemed that yet again, they had to take matters into their own hands no matter how much they rather not have to. It was all for your own good, of course - having to interfere in your personal life hurts them as much as it hurts you, watching your face twist with sorrow when you are abandoned yet again by what you had thought was a new friend. But your naivety, which had been what endeared you to them to begin with, was getting in the way of your usual steadfast logic and reasoning, and none of your friends was quite ready to see you lose that aspect that they loved so much. But as it was always the case when it came to you, it seemed that the six boys would have to be the one to step up and protect you once more, as friends should.

At least one small mercy granted by whoever was watching over you was that your new so-called friend was also a delinquent. And that carried with it the ability to settle things their way. You wouldn’t even complain either - you never did when they fought with other gangs after all, so why would this be different?

Toman, with its expanded membership and Mikey its unquestioned head, could theoretically easily keep you under watch throughout all hours of the day, but needless to say, its founding members were reluctant to let anyone else come close to you. No, they couldn’t risk it, not when you already showed your ability to wander off from them at a drop of a hat. Even if your friends did try their best to occupy as much of your time as they could, to the point of letting you dip your toes into their world, allowing you to sit at their meetings with the hope that if you saw just how dark, how violent their world and their rivals were, maybe it’ll open your eyes in a way their words couldn’t.

And while they waited for any signs of effectiveness, between the six of them, it was agreed that they would each take turns to watch you when you were away from their side. No actions were to be taken in front of you though - you didn’t need to see that side of them yet.

“Fuck, let go of me Ken-chin! I’ll kill him!” But that vow was almost already broken on the first day almost as soon as it had begun, starting with a near miss when Draken had to physically wrestle Mikey from leaving their little hideout and handing out one of his nuclear kicks. Two pairs of black eyes had watched in utter contempt as you gently rested your head on his shoulder, as if you already felt safe enough around this absolute stranger like you were around them. And the other just…let you. No brushing you off, no jerking back. Like how your Toman friends let you. Though all they could do was continue to watch as that dirtbag picked away at the bento you had made, wrapped in that same crane-printed furoshiki they have come to despise, when he suddenly put aside the box to pull you into his lap.

You giggled - giggled - when he rested his chin atop your head, arms wrapped around your waist, allowing you to swing your legs freely from where you were perched, the light breeze tossing your hair about, content with hand-feeding the jerk, your body language screaming nothing but being relaxed in his grasp. Mikey’s face was void of emotions when Draken finally let him go, long after you had left hand in hand with that jerk, but Draken recognised the wrath that blazed behind those eyes too well. It was, after all, a clear reflection of his own.

Similarly, Baji had to knock Kazutora straight out cold before he could outright shank the shitstain running their lives, your life, after having to spend an entire afternoon observing you hand feeding lunch to him. An afternoon that you had originally scheduled for errands, time that was theirs, now gone, instead devoted to entertaining a bastard that didn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone bathe in your gentle gaze like they did.

Even Mitsuya, the most level-headed, laidback founding member of Toman, had been all but fuming by the end of his shift, his normal calmness gone, replaced with a cold fury that burned deep in his eyes as he stormed off past Pah-chin. Nails dug into his palms and an unbearable thirst for blood raging in his chest after spending an afternoon following you around at a fair, the usually calm lilac-haired boy wanting nothing more than to tear out and feast on the eyes of that imbecile you let kiss ice cream off your reddened cheek, fingers tightly intertwined with his.

You had been their stability from the start, the hidden glue that held Toman together. It had always been you. Being there for them through the ups and downs, steadily carrying and pushing them forward no matter what happened, soothing away their anger and frustrations. Without you there, silently cheering them on when they were victorious and comforting them when they weren't, none of them could say whether there would even be a Toman. But now with the road to leaving them behind in the past open to you, the world that they had wanted to build with you, for you, was threatening to crumble.

No. None of the six needed to speak, yet the singular thought echoed through each and every of their minds. You couldn’t possibly survive in this harsh and cruel world without them. Not kind, naive you. And they couldn’t fathom a life without you by their side. The Tokyo Manji Gang wouldn't allow this. And them, as your real friends, wouldn't allow this. You simply can’t leave.

This was war.

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