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wosoamazing · 2 months

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Nursery & Sickness

Summary: You don't want to go to nursery. You also get sick from Nursery, making your Mum sick too. Based off this request.

Warnings: Sickness (Vomiting)

A/N: I was kind of stumped on what to write so of course I turned it into a sickfic - I hope that is okay. I promise I am trying to write things other than sickfics, some of your requests are definitely helping with that.

You didn't want to go to Nursery, you wanted to go to training as you always did, but you didn't understand why you couldn’t. Once you realised your Mum was leading you in the direction of your nursery you planted your feet firmly on the ground, refusing to walk, she just picked you up, not budging at your actions.

As she placed you down in your room, you started to cry, you didn't want to leave her side. “I’ve got to go to training Bubba, so you’re going to spend the day here, and I’ll be back to pick you up as soon as training is over”

“No, I come training with you”

“But Bubba you can’t, it's better for you to go to Nursery, and you can still come to games, I promise I will be back to pick you up.”

“No go,” you sobbed.

“I have to, what if we read a book together before I go?” You sadly nodded your head and went over to pick a book, while you Mum sat crossed legged on the floor. You chose a book and walked over to her, before walking backwards into her lap and sitting down, she read you the book and you calmed down, enough so that she didn’t feel guilty to leave you.

When she came back to pick you up, you had a huge grin on your face and you were in the middle of a painting activity, you didn't want to leave. So she helped you finish your painting before you both went home, in the car you told her about your amazing day. She was relieved that you had enjoyed, so much so that you asked when you were getting to go back

_____

Leah expected you to be sad and upset the first time she took you to Nursery, but what she didn’t expect was that you would have a new illness every week, the experienced nursery parents told her that this was normal, and would happen for roughly 2 or 3 months than you would just get like the seasonal flu, and if you moved Nurseries it would happen all over again, Leah took a mental note of that and promised herself she would not move you to a different Nursery. Heaps of the more experienced parents told her that this would happen for the first 2 or 3 months than you would be fine, so she just had to get through it.

_____

Today was game day, which you were excited for, it meant you didn’t have to go to Nursery, however you felt funny, your head kind of hurt and your tummy felt icky, but you didn’t tell your Mum, you didn’t want her to make you stay home.

You slept in the car on the way to the game, which wasn’t a rare occurrence, considering it was a late game. When you were offered your snacks to eat before the game started you shook your head, which your Mum found odd as it was an offer you would always jump at. You fell asleep very quickly into the first half and slept the whole way through the game. Only waking up when Katie turned on the TV to see the men play as she waited for Caitlin to finish getting ready. The loud noise of the fans cheering through the TV radiated through your head and you started crying.

“What’s wrong Bubba?” Your Mum asked, snapping her fingers in Katie’s direction, who quickly turned down the volume.

“Icky,” you cried out.

“Oh Bubba, do you feel sick?” she asked as she felt your forehead, which was quite warm. You nodded in reply.

“Okay, well I’ll just get our stuff all packed up and then we can go okay, I love you,” she said, placing a kiss on your forehead. She was walking around the locker room, gathering all your things when the sound of liquid spilling onto the floor echoed around the locker room. She quickly spun around to see you covered in vomit, with a puddle of vomit in front of you. She quickly moved over to you and moved you out of the way of your puddle of vomit, tears started to roll down your cheeks, as she went to look over to Katie to ask something, but Katie had already left the room and there is no one else in the room, they all have already left or the ones that remain are in the showers.

Your Mum takes off your Shirt and Shorts, and uses a wet wipe to wipe your hands and face, before she starts getting you changed into your spare clothes. As she is smoothing down your hair that was messed up by your shirt, you gag, she looks around the room panicked trying to figure out what she can grab, when she sees Katie walk in who quickly chucks her a sick bowl. She places the sick bowl under your chin just in time as you start throwing up again. Caitlin, Steph, Lia and Kim have all now finished their showers and walk into the room, to see the absolute scene in front of them. Your Mum is kneeling beside you rubbing your back as you throw up into the sick bowl she is holding for you, there is a puddle of vomit nearby and a bag with your vomit cover clothes in it, sitting near you, that has yet to be tied up.

“Do you need any help Leah?” Kim asks.

“No, no it’s all good, you guys just go, have a good night,” Leah responds, they all quickly gather their things and head out, except for one, who is rushing around behind your Mum, gathering all your belongings. She has finished packing all three of your bags and walks over to where the bag with your dirty clothes sits, your Mum jumps slightly not realising there was still someone in the room with her, she looks up to find it is Lia, her heart melting slightly at the kindness of her best friend.

“Lia, you really didn't need to stay behind,” she looks behind her, “Or pack up any of our stuff.”

“Don’t be silly Leah, I’ll just take these things out to the car and then I’ll come back for you and Y/N/N, and before you say you are fine to drive home, we drove here together.” Your Mum’s face cringed, she had totally forgotten that.

When Lia came back in you were sitting in your Mum’s lap, as she held you close, rocking you backwards and forwards.

“Le,” Lia said softly, your Mum looked up, “I’m ready when you are.” Your Mum got up and headed to the car, you threw up a lot more that night. The worst being when you had just gotten home, you were in your Mum’s arms, meaning it was all over you and her.

____

It had been a day since you last threw up, but you still felt icky so you were sleeping in your Mum’s bed, between her and Lia. Lia had insisted she stayed to help look after you.

“Fuck, Lia, can you hand me a sick bowl?” Your Mum asked.

“Yeah, but why, Y/N/N is asleep. Or have your Mum senses started tingling,” Lia joked as she handed the sick bowl to your Mum, who lent her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes, taking some deep breaths, Lia quickly clicked on to what was happening. She carefully and gently picked you up and quickly walked to your room, knowing Leah would be more comfortable if you weren’t there, she placed you on your bed before returning to the room. She climbed into the bed and sat next to your Mum, placing her hand on your Mum’s thigh, gently reassuring her, knowing that your Mum wouldn't want much physical touch currently. They remained like that for a few minutes before your Mum’s upper body jerked forward and she lost the contents of her stomach into the sick bowl, Lia rubbed her back whilst she softly spoke reassuring words to her.

____

You awoke in your bed feeling much better, but you wanted your Mum so you decided to toddle off down the hall and into her room, you saw her with Lia in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet as Lia rubbed her back, you walked into the bathroom.

“Mummy?” You questioned, slightly worried.

“Mummy is sick, I think she got your sick. Are you feeling better?" you nodded your head, "Thats good," Lia said before she moved her free hand to your Mums shoulder and gently squeezed it, your Mum shook her head slightly and Lia murmured a quiet 'okay' before she turned her gaze back to you. "Why don’t you go out to the living room and I’ll join you in a sec,” you nodded and toddled off.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc #awfc x reader #leah williamson x reader

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bitchesgetriches · 2 months

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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal

We’re all in this together. Don’t give up.

On food and groceries:

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

On entertainment and socializing:

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date

The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There

Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!

What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription

On other big expenses:

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague

Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke

You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income)

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It

On buying secondhand and trading:

Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

In Defense of Shameless Regifting

Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities

The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

How to Spot a Charitable Scam

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again?

On resisting temptation:

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending

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Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse

Slay Your Financial Vampires

The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending

On saving money:

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal

The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

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bones4thecats · 2 months

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OL! S/O Defends Angel from Valentino

Type of Writing: Random Idea Characters: Valentino, Vox, Carmilla Carmine, and Alastor Name: OL! S/O Defends Angel from Valentino Idea-Gifter: Random Thoughts

A/N: I'm sure you you can tell that Alastor is one of my favorites because of how long his part is in comparison to the rest. That and I love torturing Valentino, he needs something to scare him straight. I vote in Season 2, Niffty or Alastor scares the shit outta him again

⚠️ Trigger Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of SA, and Death ⚠️ Spoilers for: S1 ⚠️

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

Bat-Demon! Reader ; Little Brown Bat

❣️ You had been in business with your boyfriend for quite a while, and you understood barely anything of how he treated his workers

❣️ Specifically, how he treated Angel Dust

❣️ Angel and you had gone back to the years when you were alive, working together within his family's mafia. Though, the he went by the name Anthony instead of the drug-induced one

❣️ And while you were used to his very flirty and shameless personality, you could read people like a book. You were so good at reading people, that even Alastor noticed you and would praise you on your abilities

❣️ So, when you noticed Angel walking out of his dressing room after Valentino with his eyes blasted open and a small amount of blood on his arm, you began to question your boyfriend

❣️ And in retaliation to letting it sit, you waited until the rest of his employees had either retired for the night or had left the studio

❣️ Grabbing your pen and a piece of paper before writing a note and teleporting it to your friend Rosie that you wouldn't be able to join her and Alastor for tea that night due to some last minute changes, you readied yourself

❣️ You had noticed that Angel and Valentino had walked into his room earlier that afternoon and hadn't come out for around an hour

❣️ Because of your earlier suspicions, you mentally prepared yourself for any kind of sight. But to amount of time to prepare could help fix what you had seen

❣️ Kicking open the door when it wouldn't open, you eyes shot open in shock as Valentino laid upon Angel, torturing the poor spider-sinner to pieces with his touches

❣️ Your pupils dilated, covering your entire eyes as your wings flared up in anger while you hissed with your teeth bared. It was at that moment you realized you had pulled and knocked Valentino down and stood in front of Angel Dust, defending him

❣️ Protecting him

❣️ Valentino stood up in anger, yelling at you for what you had done. But once he saw just how mad you were, he froze in fear. It was at that moment he remembered, he was no longer the top dog here. You were

❣️ Bats are known to tear apart and feast on moths such as himself, and while he never has seen your full demon form, he now regretted ever looking at you. You were truly horrifying, much like your friend the Radio Demon

" If you ever, ever, dare to touch Angel Dust in such a way; I will tear your soul apart and allow Alastor to blare your screams across Hell for all to hear. I'm sure he'd be fine with it... he was with the last three who disobeyed my warnings. "

❣️ Your boyfriend tensed as you stepped closer and pulled him down by his wings to look into your eyes;

" Am I clear, Valentino? " " Y-Yes, ma'am. " " Good. Now get the fuck out. And to make sure you truly understand my warning, I want you to get rid of Angel's contract. Whether you like it or not. " " But I can't just- " " Must I repeat my last warning? " " No. "

❣️ With that word, Valentino pulled out Angel's contract, the pink chain wrapping around the spider-demon's neck then starting to fade away as the contract faded into nothingness, like it always should've been

" Good boy. And by the way, we're done. I am not going to ally myself with someone as heinous as you. And that's coming from someone who is friends with the Radio Demon. "

❣️ Valentino, now your ex-boyfriend, glared at the ground as your demon-form cooled away as you teleported Angel's things and yours before leaving in a cab to the Hazbin Hotel

" That son of a bitch will know his place. And that little whore will also observe how I'll teach them to obey me. One way or another, I will get my hands on them... no matter the cost... "

Technology-Demon! Reader ; Cyber-security

📺 All Vox has heard for days was about how much of a 'little bitch' his spouse was, and how Valentino wished he had murdered the Overlord long before they gained the rank

📺 To say the technology-demon was upset about the claim was an understatement, rather, he was beyond pissed that the moth-Overlord had the audacity to say those things about his S/O to his face

📺 He had been gone for a few meetings for a couple days, and when he arrived again only to find his room bare of anything related to you got him worried; what had he done?

📺 Grabbing his phone, he dialed your number, already preparing his questions for you.

" Hello? " " Y/N! Where in the name of everything unholy are you?! I come home from two days of work only to find all of your stuff gone from our room?! What did I do wrong? "

📺 He could hear another voice in the background, and he could also hear you using your powers to create something and his mind began to run at 400+ miles an hour

" Who is that? " " It's Angel Dust, y'know the guy who works for Valentino. Or rather, worked for Valentino. "

📺 Okay, now you've officially lost him. How would Angel even manage to quit working for the moth-demon, all the Vees knew that Angel Dust had been sighed under contract for Val to own his soul, how would he get it back?

📺 Vox quickly connected the dots; you were a cyber-security demon. And you were also an Overlord. It was in your blood to protect those that you held dear, whether it be information or another being, you always guarded it

📺 So, it would make sense for you to see danger in how Valentino treated Angel Dust, so, you would've stepped in to defend him, resulting in a meltdown from the Overlord, causing you to leave with your friend

" Where are you guys? " " I can't say, Vox. But, I can meet you sometime soon. Just, not right now. Not while Valentino is still ripe from our discussion. "

📺 Now, to say he was getting annoyed was a hint of a overstatement, he could understand why you didn't want him to know. You understood how he thought better than anyone, you knew that somehow he blabber about where you and the sinner were, resulting in Valentino attempting to kill you both

📺 Vox sighed and gripped his VoxTek phone tightly, making a small crack noise echo from it and through his sound-grabbers he used for ears on his TV-head

" Understood. But, how about tomorrow? Or next week? Whatever works, dear. " " We can try after tomorrow, I want to help Angel settle. " " That's fine. But- please be safe. " " When am I not? " " Just!- Just stay safe, damn it. "

Dancer-Demon! Reader ; Contemporary Dancing

🩰 She was surprised when you had come home with the spider demon she learned was named Angel Dust one night

🩰 You had small cuts on your legs while Angel had many different injuries on him, and when she noticed how you were trying to keep the sinner alive, she ordered for her followers to help heal him while she took care of you

🩰 While Carmilla healed you up, she had asked why you brought home Valentino's worker, claiming that he was supposedly staying at the Hazbin Hotel and not somewhere else

" I had walked in their to hand Valentino some paperwork I needed him to fill out in order to manage the territories, but when I noticed he was gone and that Angel's door was cracked open, I got curious. "

🩰 She looked up at you as she wrapped more bandages around your midsections, prompting you to inhale slightly before continuing your story

" And when I heard the cries of Angel Dust's while Valentino's crude and horrid mouth spewed those nasty words as he continued his touches on him, I just- I felt the urge to protect him, as if he was our daughters. "

🩰 Carmilla smiled slightly at the mention of her daughters. She knew you were protective of them, and her to a degree, but hearing that you had the urge to protect him and them, the parental urge to protect the three, it just made her happy

🩰 Before she could finish her reply, her daughter Odette walked in and told her that Angel Dust was resting in a spare room and that Clara was just making sure he was okay

🩰 The powerful Overlord smiled and nodded to her daughter, allowing the blonde-demon to slip outside to allow you both to continue your conversation

" My love, while I am happy that you would protect Clara and Odette as your own. I am quite puzzled. Why would you risk yourself just for some random sinner you had no closeness to beforehand? " " I'm not sure myself, I just moved without any hesitation, like you did during Extermination last year. When you protected the girls from the angel. "

🩰 Her eyes slightly widened at the mention of that day, the day that she realized an exorcist could be killed by the same weapon that they yielded

🩰 But, she smiled again and pulled the ties out from her hair, allowing the two spikes to fall down behind her back. She was getting ready to rest for the night, after all, dealing weapons was tiresome

" Y/N, I understand why you protected him. And yes, it is quite similar to how I protected the girls. But, remember, do not fight with pure blood-lust, fight for those you care for. " " I did. For Angel Dust. " " Understood. Now, how about we rest for a while? After all, performing with your kind of dance-style would make you tense when dealing with such an arrogant being. "

Mammal-Demon! Reader ; White-Tailed Deer

🔘 Alastor knew that you viewed many members of the Hotel as dear friends or rarely family, though you seemingly had been getting closer to that flirty spider-demon as of late

🔘 What was his name again? Ah, right. Angel Dust, like the old drug

🔘 Your husband also knew just how protective you were of those close to you. He remembers vividly watching you maul some random demon because he tried touching Niffty

🔘 Ah, what fond memories!

🔘 But, when you had come back to the Hotel with cuts alongside your arms and one prominent one against your eye, his ears trailed backwards and his antlers began to slightly enlarge

🔘 He speed-walked up to you as Charlie dealt with Angel's injuries with Husk and Vaggie's help, dragging you back to your shared room

" Darling, what in the name of Hell happened? " " It was nothing, my love. " " Bullshit. Who did this to my beautiful spouse? Names. "

🔘 Alastor stared at you with his pupils slowly changing into dials. While he knew that he wasn't going to scare you fully, he noticed how you held yourself against his gaze; strongly but with some hesitation

" Dearest, names if you don't wish for something truly bad to happen to whoever I suspect is behind this treachery. "

🔘 You sighed and began to slouch, making your husband's eyes widen and ears to twitch up in surprise, you never slouches like this unless you fought against some exorcists in the Extermination

🔘 He sat beside you, laying his microphone staff on the end of the bed as he grabbed your chin lightly, pulling it for you to look at him. And he asked you the question, this time with a far more gentle tone, a soft tone of radio music playing in the background as his smile lowered just slightly

" Y/N, do tell me. I just want to know who had harmed you in such a way. " " ... Valentino. "

🔘 The sound of a radio screeching echoed through the Hotel, putting everyone in a state of slight fear, that sound was never something to take lightly when it would come from the Radio Demon

" As in our fellow Overlord, Valentino? " " Yes. " " And what pray tell did that sloppy wretch do to you, darling? Well, you and Angel Dust. " " Well... I had arrived to bring Angel back to the Hotel, since I needed to speak to him about stuff, but when I noticed he was still inside, I went to go grab him. "

🔘 Alastor nodded along as you spoke, his smile had almost formed a frown at the mention of V Tower, the shit-showy building that his arch-enemy Vox and his little allies lived inside of

" I had walked to his dressing room and when I heard the sounds of Angel's cries, I couldn't stop myself from going crazy and beginning to torture the soul of Valentino's. But, he is still alive. I didn't want Vox up my ass about something like that... especially about someone so- so fucking shitty. "

🔘 He returned his full smile and hummed in agreement. He wasn't fond of most of his fellow Overlords, the only ones he really didn't hate would be Zestial, Rosie, Carmilla, and you

🔘 Alastor then hugged you, playing a small tune, a favorite of yours, and stood up with you in his arms before kissing your forehead

🔘 You were the only person he had ever felt any kind of feeling towards in years, and he wasn't going to let some fucking bastard tear your joyful self from him like nothing. Not if he had a say in it that is

🔘 But, he can put his blood-lust and wish for revenge behind him in favor of comforting you in the form of a small dance and sing-along with you in your bedroom

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bad268 · 5 months

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Hey! thank you for replying to my idea. looking forward for the Kimi Antonelli stories in January!, maybe for the part two of "caught" kimi posts that photo on his instagram and everyone goes mental but they could see it coming. and maybe a lot of fluff and cuddles! thank you! love your work

Caught Pt. 2 (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3

Requested: Clearly (I love this honestly)

Warnings: none.

Pronouns: You/your

W.C. 869

Summary: The aftermath of announcing your relationship.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<-Part 1

~~(Both pics used are from Pinterest)

The Instagram DM from the fan had already arrived, and he wanted you to see the picture. “I think this is the perfect way to announce us.”

Unfortunately, he was not able to post it the next day. His media manager did not think it would be a good idea to post so soon after the end of the season, so they decided to push it back a few weeks. Thankfully, the fans were willing to not post the pictures until you two were ready.

“Is it bad I want to keep those pictures for just us?” You asked one day while you two were lying in your apartment. The season was going to start up in a few weeks, and Kimi’s media manager said it would be the perfect time to announce the relationship in the run-up to the pre-season testing. You two were cuddling on your couch as a show played in the background as you scrolled through your phones. You were looking at the pictures that the fans sent you, and honestly, you didn’t want them out in the open. You turned your phone in his direction and it was set to the one where you were lying on the grass and Kimi was looking down at you. “This was our moment, and I don’t know if I want to share that with the world just yet.”

“I understand it, that does look a little much for what I’m comfortable sharing, too,” Kimi admitted. “We can talk with the team and see if they have any ideas to announce it unless you have any backup plans?”

“What if you post pictures that I’ve taken of you?” You offered, pulling up a few of your favorites that you’ve taken of Kimi. “We could do a funny caption that implies I’m your significant other.”

“I like it,” He laughed, opening Instagram.

The first race was something. The atmosphere was so much more lively than it was for FRECA. You didn’t know if it had anything to do with the recent announcement, but it seemed like there were more Kimi Antonelli fans than you remembered there being at the end of last season. Not that you were complaining! He was finally getting the recognition he deserved, but it felt like all of the attention was on you two as you walked into the paddock of Bahrain.

You walked through the gates hand in hand as fans stopped you every once in a while for pictures or autographs before you made it to the Prema garage.

“Be honest and I mean this in the nicest way possible,” you started as soon as you got into the safety and privacy of the driver’s room, “were there more fans or am I just crazy?”

“With more exposure comes more fans, I guess,” he laughed as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Immediately, his eyes turned soft as his arms moved down your arms instead to hold your hands. “You’re shaking, what’s going on?”

“I think this is just bigger than I thought it would be,” you whispered, taking a deep breath to try and steady your racing heart. You met his eyes and allowed a small smile across your face. “I should have seen it coming. Sure, F2 is one step below F1 and you’re in a front-runner team, but I didn’t expect this much attention.”

“Here, why don’t we do this,” he trailed off as he pulled you into the corner of the driver’s room where the message bed was set up. You looked at him skeptically at first, and when he noticed, he chuckled a little, “I’m not giving you a message, but lay down on your back.”

“I don’t see how this is gonna help,” you laughed as you got comfortable on your back. It did not take long for Kimi to climb on the bed on top of you, causing you to laugh more as he laid his head on your chest and wrapped his arms around your torso. “What are you doing?”

“I read somewhere that weighted blankets help with anxiety,” he started explaining as you ran your fingers through his curls, “We don’t have a weighted blanket, but I thought this would still work.”

“This works perfectly,” you whispered, placing a kiss on the crown of his head, “You’re adorable. What did I do to deserve you?”

“Exist,” he whispered back as you both relaxed in the calmness.

“So this is where you guys have been hiding all day?” A voice came into the room after who knows how long, waking you both up.

“Oh, shut up, Ollie!” Kimi responded, recognizing who it was before you could.

“Why are we always getting caught in these kinds of situations?” You said to yourself in disbelief, causing Kimi to laugh.

“I don’t know, but I need to steal your boyfriend for a meeting,” Ollie laughed, grabbing Kimi’s arms and all but dragging him out of the room.

~~~~~

#andrea kimi antonelli x reader #andrea kimi antonelli #kimi antonelli x reader #kimi antonelli #kimi x reader #prema racing #formula 2 #formula 2 x reader #formula 2 imagine #f2 #f2 x reader #f2 imagine #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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sterredem · 6 days

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Unfair

Ending 2

The request Hey, I can't find if your requests are open (if they aren't please ignore this). Can you do an arthur leclerc x fem!driver!reader where she gets into f1 and he doesn't (angst!!) and she comforts him?

Face claim: Pinterest girls/Barbara Palvin/Bianca Bustamante + other women in motorsport.

(That I use these people doesn’t mean that I know or support them, I just use them because Barbara has a lot of good pictures in the spoor and Bianca has good pictures in the car and on the podium)

Summary: The request

Warning: Angst, lying(?), happy ending, Car crash, fluff at the end, speling mistakes

Not proofread

A/N So this is the 2nd ending! Sorry it took so long but I had it really busy and no inspiration. I had intended on it being more Angsty than it is but I really wanted to get it out of my drafts because I am working on something big that needs my full attention from the writing process and perspective

They both knew that this could happen. That was the risk with dating your coworker in a motorsport. And especially formula 2.

So when y/n that next season she would drive in formula 1 with Porsche, she was really excited. Of course she was. She was going to be the first Women in a few decades to drive in Formula 1. And for a relatively new but very good team. With Porsche being in F1 since the 2019 seasons it was the newest, but unlike HAAS they were actually good.

And she was happy that she got a contract. She would drive a few of the best names of motorstoprt. And her team printable, Sebastian Vettel had promised her big things.

But when she actually thought about what this all meant she beging to get scared. She would need to tell Arthur. Arthur who always wanted to be in Formula 1. Arthur who is her best friend and her boyfriend.

How could she tell him? How could she tell him that she would get to live there dream? How could she tell him that he would drive alongside his brother before him?

This was all a mess. And the worst part was that she sined a NDA so she couldn't tell him until the announcement was up. The only people that currently knew where; her family, her trainer and her assistant.

She tried to do everything she could so she can tell him. But she just couldn't, so she needs to live with a big secret for a few months. And when it is announced that she would go to Formula 1 she doesn't know is he will ever forgive her.

And not only because she didn't tell him and they promised they would tell each other everything. No but because they promised to get there together, to both get into F1. And now, Y/n would get to drive there and Arthur would be left behind in F2.

So she would need to live a secret until it was revealed to the world. The only thing she could get out of the contact is that she could tell Arthur a day before the announcement. Which she still wasn't happy about but it was something. So when the time came to finally tell him she was a nervous wreck. Understandable.

The day before the announcement finally came. And Y/n was really nervous. So when Arthur finally came home she made some of his favourite food and got mentally ready to tell him.

And to say Arthur was confused was an understatement. He came home to his girls friend cooking his favourite food and looking very nervous. So of course he was worried. Would she brake up with him? Dis something happen? But he wanted to wait for her to say something. And that happens after they were done doing the dishes and were laying in the couch.

"Hey Arthur can we talk?” Y/n nervously while playing with her fingers and not really looking at Arthur.

"Yes mon ange what is wrong?” Arthur asked relieved that she will finally talk about what is wrong. He tried to look at her but couldn't lock eyes.

"Promise me you will hear me out before you react of get mad.” She said while finally looking in his eyes. But they aren't filled with the usual adoration or love, no the where filled with nerves and a bit of fear.

"Of course mon ange. What is going on?" He asked growing more and more worried. While trying to grapple with his hand. And failing.

"So you know that PREMA is dropping me right? Well when it was announced some people reached out to me and offers me something...” she slowly said while looking at him for his reaction.

"Well one of those people was Sebastian Vettel and he offered me a place on Porche in Formula 1. And as you can understand I couldn't refuse, so we got talking and they gave me an amazing offer.” She said while looking at his reaction. Which wasn't the best, it got from worry to confusion to some sort of mild anger.

"So last August he gave me a contract and I signed it..." she said falling a bit silent at the end. And before Arthur could talk she began again.

"And I really wanted to tell you before, really. But they made me sign a NDA and I could only tell my menager and close family and some of the other team for legal reasons. And I tried everything, and initially I could not tell you until the announcement but I made a deal and I could tell you the day before. And now that is, so today is the day before. And again I am so sorry. Please don't be mad.” She rantec while tears formed in his eyes while seeing him become more and more mad.

"Y/n... what? Is this some sick joke?" He asked while slowly fake laughing and looking at her with betrayal in his eyes.

"Baby please understand that I could not tell you." She said slowly looking away.

"Don't baby me! I know you couldn't tell me after the contract, but you could tell me that you had an offer! And how could you take it? You know how much I want to get into F 1P^ prime prime He asked with betrayal in his voice.

"What was I supposed to do? Not take the offer and never get in Formula 1 just so you could have it or that we could go at the same time? And I could not tell you about the offer because I didn't even know until I talked with Sebastian, my manager hid it from me because he didn't want to get my hopes up!" She said now with tears going down her cheeks.

"I understand that but please! Did you even think about me?" He asked a bit louder.

"Of course I did! I just told you! I wanted to tell you the minute I got the offer! But I couldn't because of that stupid team! I wanted to you to have a seat for F1! For whatever team, but I can't! If I can I would give you my seat! But Arthur you need to understand that I need to think of myself sometimes! This a big deal for me! I will be the first women in Formula 1 in a few decades, and I will be the first women to be in the Mindel or upper field! I could be the first to be in a podium of even win!" She said now almost fully crying.

Arthur was silent for a bit while thinking about what she said. "Y/n i know all that. But you also need to understand that it is hard for me. Charles is in F1, Ferrarie dropped me, Jules and my dad died and wanted me and Charlie to drive, and now my girlfriend, who is also my childhood best friend, lied to me for months and you expect me to be okay with it? Merde Y/n you can't expect this from me. I think I need some time alone.” He said trying to stay calm with tears in his eyes.

Y/n looked at his shocked about what he said. Did he want to break up? Did he want a part time break? Was he going to leave? She knows that she can't hold him accountable for it, she did lie to him after all.

"Arthur please. I understand what you say. And I don't hold you accountable for that, but please don't leave." She said now with them both full on crying.

"Mon amour, I won't leave you, I am just going to go to my mom for a bit. Think about everything and then we can talk about this in a few days." He said while wiping her tears away.

He slowly stood up and walked to there room to grab a few of his things. She still sat on the couch thinking if she should stop him or just let him go.

She decided on the later one, because it was better to give him time to think about it before things were said that they don't mean.

A few minutes later Arthur came downstairs with a bag of his stuff. He grabbed his coat and keys and looked at Y/n again. “I will message you when I am there. Please understand that I still love you and I am not breaking up, but I just need some time.” He says with a half smile.

“I understand, please take all the time you need. And when you are ready to talk I am here.” She said while also half smiling with more tears forming in her eyes. “I love you, please be safe"

"I will" he says while walking out of the door and closing it. Y/n slowly slid down the wall with her head in her hands thinking everything over again.

Was this the right thing? Was she selfish for accepting the offer? Would she lose Arthur? Were they ever going to recover?

With all this on het mind she slowly stood up and walked upstairs. She got into the bathroom and did her night routine. After that she looked at the time and saw how early it still was so she decided to just watch some Gilmore Girls (you can chose whatever this is just my comfort series) while laying in bed trying to distract her from the argument they had earlier.

After watching it for a few hours she decided that it was getting late and decided to sleep and see what the day would bring tomorrow. The day that it would be announced.

Liked by Susie_Wolff and 3.115.785 others

F1 BREAKING: Y/n y/l/n will be driving for Porsche the 2025 season!

We all welcome her to the grid and are excited to se her!

#y/n_y/l/n #Porsche #F1 @Y/n_y/l/n @Porsche

Comments

User1 OMG I AM SO EXITED

User2 Why is Arthur not liking??!

Susie_Wolff So happy for you! I am happy to see more girls in Formula 1

Yourusername Thank you Susie! Exited to see you again!

Yourusername I am so happy and thankful for this opportunity!

User3 we got a women in f1 before gta 6

User4 So exited for more women in motorsports!

User5 women shouldn't be in motorsports! It is a man dominated sport for a reason!

User6 why is Arthur not simping over his girlfriend like usual?!

User7 he could just be congratulating het irl don’t make a big deal out of this

User8 I agree with user7, just because he isn’t in the comments on a insta post doesn’t mean something happened. We shouldn’t speculate on there lives with absolutely no information about them at the moment.

After the announcement was finally up Y/n felt worst then the slash before. Her and Arthur still hadn’t talked. And it welt like weeks (it was only 10 hours). She missed him, missed his laugh, his boyish smile, their useless conversation for hours, his kisses and hugs. Everything.

So when she finally got a massage from him she was happy to say the least.

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For the next part there is a bit of explaining necessary. You can: keep reading this and then you read the really Angsty ending OR you can klick on the link and then you can read the official ending (more fluffy and the request)

Fluffy ending

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The next day Y/n decided to take her car to the café, it would be easier and faster. Turns out it was neither. She put some acceptable clothes on and a bit of make up to hide her tiredness and puffy eyes. She grabbed her phone and coat and walked to her car.

After pulling out of the drive way she put on some music to fill the silence. When she got out of the neighbourhood and onto the main road she got distracted by a few kids running before the car and before she knew it she felt a blow coming from her lest side.

She couldn’t open her eyes and she heard a loud ringing in het ear. When she could finally manage to open an eye a bit she saw a lot of glass, a lot of blood and a wrecked car. She heard people screaming and asking things but she couldn’t make anything out above the loud ringing noise. A bit later she heard sirens.

She was scared. She wanted to go home. To go to Arthur. She wanted to get out, but she couldn’t. She could feel her legs- and her arm? What was happening? Where was she? What happens? Why couldn’t she feel anything? She begin to see dark spots and was getting really tired. When she begin to close her eyes she could feel a bit of the pressure on her body leave her. She could see the sun, she would be fine. She would see Arthur. But then it all went black.

Arthur was concerned. He didn’t know where Y/n was. Was he being stood up? Did she not want to come? What is happening?

When he arrived at the café a few minutes late he expected her to be there, waiting on him. But no, she was nowhere to be seen.

But then it happened. He got the phone call…

The hospital…

He picked up, and he was stressed. He didn’t know for who it could be. It could be for Y/n or his mom. With both of them having him as one of the emergency contacts.

So when he picks up and hear them asking about Y/n he panicked.

He quickly gets filled in on what happened and gets informed from where she is. So he gets to his car and goes to the hospital as fast as he can.

Beep… beep… beep…

That all that is heard in the hospital room when Y/n wakes up. She looks around with tired eyes from sleeping- or being unconscious- for so long.

When she tries to move her hand she can’t… but then she looks over and sees Arthur… oh Arthur. He must have been so worried, with her not showing up at the caffe and all.

But then she sees he wakes up. He must have felt her move (or tried to) her hand. When he looked up and saw her awake he immediately sat up straight and began asking questions.

“Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Do you need something?” He rambled on.

“What happened?” She asked in a raspy voice. She looked around more and tried to sit up. But that hurt… a lot.

“Hey, no no no. Sit down mon amour. I will get a doctor to explain what happened.” So he stood up and got to go find a doctor or nurse.

After the doctor comings and explaining everything she was a bit more calm. After the doctor text a few more minutes past of Arthur and Y/n sitting in silence. But that also didn’t last very long.

“I am so sorry for how I reacted yesterday.” Arthur said while grabbing her hand.

“Hey, no it’s okay. I understand. I forgive you. Can you just lay with me? I don’t want to think for a bit.” She said.

He nodded and laid beside her on the hospital bed.

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attractive-nuisance-esq · 7 months

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Ed’s journey this season is going to perfectly mirror addiction and recovery, and I am so fucking here for it. Watching these first three episodes of S2 was like watching a highly dramatized AU of my own descent into rock bottom (except everyone was dressed wayyyyyy cooler than I ever was), so I have a lot of thoughts, reactions, and insights that I want to share with other fans. I’m sure many of us who have struggled with our mental health connected with Ed in these episodes, but I think addiction is the most appropriate lens through which to view him because addicts (more often than people who struggle with other mental illnesses) so wholly destroy their own lives and utterly devastate those of their loved ones. I want to share - from the perspective of someone who has steered her own ship straight into a storm and woke up alone to face some very hard choices - what is going on with Ed at the start of this season and what I think is coming.

Let me start by saying that Ed isn’t literally addicted to any one thing, despite his heavy use of drugs and alcohol, but his goal is the same as that of all addicts: escape. He does not want to sit with the pain of Stede leaving him on an immediate, surface level; on a deeper, more habitual level, he doesn’t want to sit with the pain of his own self-loathing. Of course the two are related: the former brings the latter to a head. Stede abandoning him dredges up and brightly illuminates all of his insecurities, and now Ed has to run. Get out. Escape. Don’t think about it. So he is fighting, stealing, drinking, snorting, shooting, killing - whatever it takes to not think about it.

“Demon? I’m the fuckin’ devil.” People in recovery often talk about addiction as if it were a separate, sentient monster living within them. Ed taking on the mantle of demon - a creature known specifically for possession, for removing the host’s free will - is intentional. So is his insistence that he’s not just any demon but the demon. The worst there is. (More on that when we get to The Innkeeper.)

Izzy’s confrontation of Ed in the captain’s cabin and then on deck is a form of intervention. Izzy is trying to help Ed, but of course this goes terribly for him and for Ed because interventions (I cannot stress this enough) are maybe the worst thing you could do to an addict. All addicts know things are bad, but they cannot be pushed to change one single second before they’re ready. Ed knows things are bad. He’s well-aware of how he’s spending his time, how his crew feels about him, how disappointed Izzy is. Being confronted with all of those truths by Izzy was always only going to make him do two things: 1) dig further into his unhealthy coping mechanisms, never mind that they don’t have nearly the effect that they used to; and 2) lash out at the person who forced him to think about it. Izzy lost his leg the moment he stepped into Ed’s cabin.

The impossible bird. You guys remember the song Chandelier by Sia? The one about her addiction to alcohol? The whole thing may as well come right out of Ed’s mouth at the end of that first episode, because that experience is exactly what he’s trying to convey to Frenchie. Nevermind that Frenchie has the temerity to tell him the bird can’t exist, that it has to come down sometime, that flying forever isn’t sustainable. The bird can come down on its own terms, or crash… but Frenchie’s definitely not going to say that much. Still, “that sounds like something that can’t exist” hits Ed, and leads us to the next episode.

Now we’ve got Ed forlorn, heartbroken, almost catatonic while playing with his cake toppers. We don’t actually see him crying in the opening of the episode, which is the point. He’s done crying now. The impossible bird can’t exist, and Ed has already resigned himself to this. He’s decided to die. The only sure-fire permanent way to not think about it.

When next we see Ed, he seems to be doing better, but this is a huge red flag for anyone who knows to look. He’s giving away his responsibility to Frenchie; he’s cleaning the cabin for the closure. He knows the end is coming fast, and the relief that knowledge brings him leaves him weirdly at peace. It is he eeriest part of these episodes, IMO.

Then he goes to find his first mate, the person who knows him better than anyone else in the world, the man he just fucking shot and ordered killed. Ed needs his low opinion of himself validated, and of course he thinks he’ll get it from Izzy after everything he’s done to him. He wants the one person who has stuck with him through everything to confirm that he’s now irretrievably broken and no longer worthy of his love. Ed wants someone to tell him that he’s right: he should die.

He doesn’t get that from Izzy. Interestingly, Izzy doesn’t tell him he should die. He says “Clean up your own mess.” Izzy has learned the lesson now that Ed isn’t ready to get better and that he can’t make him be ready. (This post isn’t about Izzy, but hoo boy - I have big feels about that man.)

Ed has been indulging in various forms of self-destruction in order to not feel his feelings, and steering the ship into the storm is his worst indulgence yet. This is the worst of his crimes - not beheading or arson or a red wedding. It’s when he tries to bring down everyone who has ever loved him into his misery, into believing what he believes. The audience generally (and Ed’s audience of Stede specifically) can forgive him for hurting strangers and for the non-specific mayhem whose victims we’ve never met; but it is much less certain that anyone will forgive him for hurting the only family he’s ever known.

The storm itself is the perfect metaphor for Ed’s attempt on his and, incidentally, everyone else’s lives. One of the most common metaphors used by friends and family members of addicts is that of a hurricane: that their addicted loved-ones tend to destroy everything they touch, anyone who was foolish or brave enough to stick around. And, like hurricanes, addicts aren’t malicious. Ed’s primary goal here is to get himself killed, not to kill everyone else. He wants the ship to go down so his death is certain. His firing a cannonball into the mast and asking Jim and Archie to fight to the death isn’t malice: it’s utter and complete nihilism. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing and no one. The end is near, and he’s so fucking drunk and high off these distractions that he couldn’t think about it if he tried. He’s manic with relief. (See also: “Finally.”)

And now for the finale: Purgatory. Buckle up, because this is where the addiction analogy gets real *chef’s kiss.* Purgatory is the equivalent of the morning after the worst, most rock bottom binge night of your life. You wake up with no one for company but the ghosts of your former selves. Now what?

Well, first - who is Hornigold to Ed? Why is he the guy Ed sees? It’s because Hornigold is another addict, if you will, but one who is (in this Purgatory hallucination) farther along in his recovery. He can impart some wisdom from that place, but he can also stand in as someone Ed can loathe because they’re not as different as Ed once thought, even if Hornigold can say he’s grown.

Hornigold tries to give him soup. He tells Ed, “Gotta get these nutrients into you,” and then literally shoves soup down his throat. That’s what it’s like in rock bottom. You don’t want to take care of yourself, but some lizard brain survival instinct takes over and makes you drink water, eat a piece of fruit, take yourself to the hospital. These things don’t really happen voluntarily that morning after, but you can still count on that instinct to kick in with some damage control.

Ed telling Hornigold how he “got here.” Hornigold says “Mutiny. It’s always mutiny.” Ed insists his mutiny was special, worse somehow. This whole scene is exactly what happens in your first recovery support group meeting. You go in thinking no one has ever been as fucked and fucked up as you are, which makes you feel isolated and alone. But then you get there and everyone else in the circle has done the same shit, been through the same shit. Ed’s not actually the devil; he’s just another demon, like many demons before him.

Ed worries he’s insane when he reflects on everything he’s done. Hornigold’s reply that “Feeling bad isn’t going to rebuild an abdominal wall” is a concept that people usually learn a little bit later in recovery, so I expect we’ll see more on this theme from Ed. Guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to conversely make the addict feel better but doesn’t help the harmed party: the addict feels like their suffering is cleansing, but it’s not - feeling guilt is just more self-indulgence, more self-destruction. Hornigold - a fellow addict in this moment - is trying to get this lesson to him early. It’ll return.

“You’ve got to move on or blow your brains out.” We’re getting back to Purgatory as the metaphor for the morning-after rock bottom, because this is the exact calculation that every person in recovery has done. They all had to answer that one big question. Your whole life is a mess, and you made the mess. Do you want to clean it up? Or quit? (Or make some soup? Yeah. That big question can’t be answered without basic needs having been met. So let’s eat. Let’s start there. It’s easier.)

Now we have Ed’s fantasy about opening an inn: This is also a common part of the morning-after rock bottom. You start thinking about the wrong turns you took, the mistakes you made, the way your life was supposed to go and all the reasons you’re not where you wanted to be. (And all the people you can blame for the fact that your life didn’t go as planned.) And when that honest part of yourself starts telling you that actually it’s all your fault… well, a) you don’t wanna hear it, and b) you can’t silence (kill) that monster, no matter how hard you try. You’ve got to face it. Face all those truths you’ve been running from for years. Now you have to think about it.

So now the big question, the inevitable math. Hornigold suggests looking at the pros and the cons. That’s the easiest way to break the calculation into manageable variables. This is probably my favorite moment of the episode, because when you’re sitting there, morning after the worst night of your life, everything is fucked - these are the exact variables that go into your equation. Do I really want to live? You ask yourself that, and because your life is in fucking shambles, you come up with the stupidest goddamn reasons to keep going. You wanna see the next seasons of Good Omens and Loki. You wanna eat your mom’s spaghetti again. Sometimes it’s nice when someone hugs you. It’s never the big things that save your life; it’s a bunch of the littlest things. The smallest comforts. The big things… they’re too unattainable. They’re too much to hope for, and they’re more than you could possibly deserve. What are the pros of living for Ed? Warmth, good food, orgasms. This is a stunningly accurate representation of the things that will keep you alive once you’ve hit rock bottom.

And then the cons: “I don’t think anyone is waiting for me.” This is why addiction is the better metaphor. There is no human experience more isolating than addiction. You are alone in more ways than you’ve ever been before. You have pushed away or pissed off everyone who ever cared about you. And even the ones who will maybe still be there for you - they can’t help you clean up the mess you’ve made. You have to do the work alone, even if they’re still willing to stand next to you. And this con… it’s the scariest one. Your list of little pros looks so pathetic next to the horror of being utterly fucking alone. Who is going to brave that for some stupid shit like Tom Hiddleston sexily flipping his hair back in that Loki way he does? Why should Ed carry on just because blankets are cozy and marmalade is pleasant?

This is where we get to the moment on the mountain, and what Stede represents. Hornigold tells Ed “You’re unlovable, and you’re afraid to do anything about it.” Ed could do two things about being unlovable: He could try to fix it, or he could end it all. Hornigold represents the worst part of Ed: his weaknesses and cowardice. And if Hornigold is in the driver’s seat, he’s going to end it all. He throws the rock off the cliff, and Ed gets dragged down into the water to drown. (Let’s also talk later about how often addiction is compared to drowning, and how nothing else in the show actually threatened Ed’s life - not Izzy with a gun, not all the rhino horn, not Jim’s cannonball - like drowning in his own mind.)

But then there’s Stede. Stede is how the pros win over that one big, horrifying con. Stede is hope. Stede is just a glimmer of hope. Hope is the most important thing you need in the morning-after rock bottom. As much as I enjoy the idea that it was love that saved Ed, I don’t think that’s a wholly faithful interpretation. Because Stede’s love for Ed doesn’t solve anything, doesn’t fix anything - it certainly doesn’t fix Ed. It cannot fix Ed. Hornigold just told Ed that he’s the one who has to “do something about it,” because Ed is the only one who can save himself. But even if Stede’s love for him in itself isn’t what saves Ed, Ed’s trust in Stede combined with that love gives him hope. Stede loves Ed, truly loves him, came back to him even though he knows Ed’s nature, knows his list of crimes, knows what he’s done to Stede’s friends and family. And maybe Ed can find in himself what he trusts Stede truly sees. It’s a “maybe,” not a certainty. But it’s hope. Someone loves him. Maybe he can love himself, too.

This Woman’s Work: I read this song as referring more appropriately to Ed’s relationship with himself, in no small part because Ed literally made himself the woman in the cake topper couple. All the things that should have been done, should have been said - they’re things Ed needs to do and say to himself. He’s got a little life and a lot of strength left. The journey has just begun.

I want to pop back quickly to a few other moments in The Innkeeper that resonated, starting with Stede and Izzy’s discussion about what happened to Ed: “He went mad. He was a wild dog.” Izzy describes Ed’s breakdown as if he was no longer the same person he once was; this is exactly what addiction does to a person. Ed hasn’t been himself; he’s been held hostage by his need for escape, and he’s become something else. Possessed, if you will.

Izzy: “You and me did this to him, and we can’t let the crew suffer any more for our mistakes.” I’m not writing an essay on Izzy (yet), but this is a very interesting perspective that says a lot about Izzy. Stede and Izzy both owe apologies to Ed, but they are not responsible for his actions. I predict we’re going to see this theme explored in later episodes as a part of Ed’s healing process and recovery. And also hopefully in Izzy’s growth.

Frenchie’s line that “We’ve been living second-to-second for a while now” is a callback to the impossible bird idea. Which, again, is just Chandelier x Sia. “I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes, keep my glass full until morning light ‘cause I’m just holding on for tonight.”

So what’s next? For me, it was learning to sit alone in a quiet room with my thoughts. It was apologizing to the ones I hurt, because even if I didn’t mean to hurt them - even if I was suffering also and worse - they still got hurt, and in the end it didn’t matter why. It was developing the habit of liking myself, and acting on whatever self-love and affection I could conjure up. And yes… it was new seasons of Good Omens and Loki, my mom’s spaghetti, and hugs.

So I think Ed has a lot of accountability, reflection, and breaking of old habits in his future… but also warmth, good food, and orgasms. And good for him. That’s the beauty of recovery: we get to come back.

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icyg4l · 2 days

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PAC: What Can You Do to Pass Your Finals?

Hello beautiful people! It is about that time of the year again where us students are struggling to meet deadlines & have to study for the dreadful finals. Well, I’m here to give you all some tips on how to pass your final exams this season. I will be using my True Heart tarot deck for this reading per usual. If you resonate with this reading enough to want to book with me, please read my guidelines and dm me for a reading! Without further ado, please select your academic weapon!

Left-to-Right: Pile 1-3 (Elle Woods, Dionne Davenport, Jade the Brat)

Pile 1: I feel like this pile really needs to consider having a study buddy. That would help you tremendously. Doing things like going back and forth to repeat formulas, coming up with sufficient answers for mock trials and practicing for a foreign oral exam with another person can be some of the things that you do. Study dates are absolutely necessary. I feel like you also need to change the scenery. Go somewhere that you’ve never been before, particularly near a body of water. And another thing that you can do to help you achieve academic success is chewing gum while you study. It’s scientifically proven that chewing gum can improve your memory & can boost your test scores (only if you put the effort in though beforehand lmao).

Cards Used: Death, 7 of Cups, Princess of Cups, Knight of Cups.

extras: being by the water. trees. hair twirler. fidget spinner.

Pile Two: I think the best thing that you can do is ask for assistance directly from the source. I feel like this is specifically for those who are struggling in their math or science classes. I get the feeling that you don’t want to take this class ever again. So, you need to get situated and fast. I feel like this pile may be going through a separation/breakup from their partner. It may be affecting your ability to focus on school. But it is best that you not only seek academic guidance from the source, explain your situation to them so that they can understand what you’re going through. They may direct you to some mental help. I feel like another thing that you could do is practice grounding exercises. Surround yourself in nature. Go bicycling or hiking. Go to a conservatory. Lastly, another thing you could do is go for a swim. I feel like you need to get moving. You need to get physical before/while you’re getting ready to study.

Cards Used: 7 of Cups, 9 of Discs, 2 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Cups, 5 of Cups, Page of Cups.

extras: pull ups. heartburn. feeling helpless. “unusual.”

Pile Three: This pile feels very extreme. It’s a crucial moment in your academic career that could either make or break you, it seems. I think that this finals season determines whether or not you will have to go to summer school or whether you will get into that school. Maybe even going to the next grade or having to retake that particular class. So, you have to buckle in. I am seeing someone crack their knuckles and stretch out their neck. I don’t get the feeling that this is a traditional final. It could be a project or a paper that’s graded harshly. It could also be a collaboration. Whatever it is, I feel like your mother figure could help you a lot with this. She knows more about this subject than you think. Allow her to help. Another thing that can help you is reaching out to people who have done the same project as you in previous years or the semester prior. And lastly, take really good notes from people who are well-versed in this subject. They will come in handy & you won’t regret that you did it.

Cards Used: The Tower, 10 of Discs, The Lovers, The Moon, The Empress.

extras: “it’s gametime.” “appealing.” sweaty hands. marnie. beats headphones. deep breath in & out.

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mimising · 3 months

Text

Summer full of wonders I Carlos Sainz

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Carlos Sainz x (she)reader

Hi. I'm back with part 2. Hope you all have a wonderful time reading it.

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Sweetness with pining for each other.

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Part 1 ---

Few days have passed by. As it turned out Carlos did have an extra room for her to stay at. First night she couldn’t fall asleep because of the fear of being tricked and raped or robbed or god knows what. So she was glad to see a note on the kitchen counter saying he went for a run and she could freshen up before he saw her.

She noticed how Carlos had a strict workout and food plan. On days he didn’t have plans they would cook together. Some hispanic songs playing in the background.

Every morning they went for a swim in the pool. Slowly she has started to understand the movements and with little practice she’ll ace it in no time. They had made plans to go swim in the sea again some day soon. But this day must be soon because in 3 days she will go away. Back to cold weather and slippery pedestrian paths.

“Hey, how was your run?” She was just finishing with breakfast. “Great as usual,” answered in an out of breath voice. “The food is almost ready.” Carlos nodded. He was staring. Actually his eyes were stuck on her every movement. He had started to daydream about morning when he could put his hands on her hips from behind and push her against the kitchen counter.

She waved her hand. “Carlos?” He shook his head. “Yeah, right. I’ll be right back.” He walked away. The cold shower had been the solution for days now. If only she would stay with him a bit longer.

“You take care of your health quite a lot. Don’t your joints start hurting with this much workout?” She was curious. And since they didn’t have much time left she had mentally said ‘fuck it’. Carlos sniggers at her comment. “How old do you think I am?” She blushed. ‘The worst thing you can ever do is to guess someone's age wrong by a mile.’ “Eeeh.. in your mid 20s?” To that answer Carlos shook his head. “Close but not really. Also, why should my joints hurt in my mid twenties?” She couldn’t look him in the eyes. “..I don’t know. You just seem to workout A lot.”

Carlos had almost finished with his breakfast. “Today we shall go to the beach. You still have a promise to fulfill.” She just nodded and stood up to put dishes away.

Walking down to the beach was peaceful. Streets were full of people and ice cream sellers. “After the swim it’s ice cream on me,” she babbled. Carlos would love it but the season was near and in a week he would also have to leave this little village to start testing the car. No extra calories were allowed. Although he wouldn’t mind watching her eat ice cream. If only he knew what to do. ‘Should I tell her about my true self? What if she changes like all of them?’

The young woman had noticed Carlos spacing out. He seemed to do it a lot more than before. “Carlos, do you have a driver's license?” “ A what now?” “You know, licensed to drive a car?” Carlos smirked. “Yes. Want to go for a ride?” he winked. She nodded. “I would like to see some countryside before I have to leave. Do you think you could squeeze it between your training plan?” Carlos was actually over the moon. He could show her his skills and maybe figure out how to see her again after her leaving. “Yes.”

Unknowingly they had arrived at the beach. The weather was perfect. It was sunny, the sea was calm and no clouds in sight. Only a lot of people were sunbathing.

This time they walked together into the water. She was a little hesitant but Carlos took her hand into his. Water got to their knees, then hips and a little further it was already to her breast and only to his middle. “Cariño, are you ready?” She let go of his hand and jumped fully in. Carlos right behind her.

She laughed “ I can swim! I can experience the sea like never before!” She shouted at the top of her lungs. Carlos laughed as well. “Yes, cariño. Yes you can. So proud of you.” She turned around, swam to him and hugged him as tight as humanly possible. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Carlos was little taken back but hugged her right back.

She looked him in the eyes. ‘If only I could kiss him.’ Carlos kissed her on the forehead. “Let's swim some more. The waves will be back soon.” She let go of him. Her mind was on something else. So was Carlos’s.

While Carlos was in the gym, she was packing for a picnic. She was working up the courage to ask him out. Or find out if he was in any way interested to see her again.

She did her make-up a little fancier than on an average day. Carlos had a hard time choosing an outfit and had to ask some help from a friend. Finally they were both ready. Carlos had been sitting on the couch when she walked in. His heart stopped a beat. ‘oh madre ayúdame!’ “I’m ready to go” Her smile reached her big joyful eyes. Carlos coughed. “Yes! Let’s go.”

She saw his car for the first time. She didn’t even know he had one, neither the less a sports car. “I think I have misjudged you.” Carlos started the car. “And why is that?” She looked around the car. “I mean, if you have a sports car then you must know how to drive. The question is how good of a driver you are.” Carlos said nothing but winked.

In the main streets he obeyed the speed limit but right after the ‘end of village’ sign he stepped on a gas. “Oh my god! Carlos! Slow down!” She held tight to her seatbelt. “You are going to kill us!” Carlos looked at her. “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doi-” She interfered “Eyes on the ROAD, for christ sake!” Carlos’s smile widened. She on the other hand was barely holding it together. ‘Oh god. I’m too young to die. I still have a movie kiss to experience!’ Like this wasn’t enough, Carlos added some more speed. “Carlos I swear to god if you won’t slow down I’ll never share a car ride with you again!” she cried. He laughed but eventually slowed down. “OK-OK. I’ll drive like a grandma.”

She was still out of breath and tried to calm her heart by closing her eyes. Carlos would steal looks to see how she’s doing. He got his adrenaline up which helped to make a decision. A decision he would soon fulfill.

There was a beautiful field full of wildflowers. “I think this is a perfect place to stop.”

He parked the car. When turning off the engine he looked at her. She had her eyes on the field. He would stare at her all the time if it weren’t creepy.

Carlos was carrying a picnic basket while she was walking around and occasionally stopping to take pictures. They decided to lay out the picnic just beside a big old tree. Carlos was laying out the planket when he heard a camera click. He looked at her. “What? It would’ve been a shame to not take a picture.”

They sat beside each other. Food scattered in front of them. She had taken the wine classes but Carlos filled them with orange juice. “Cheers!” After a little sip, she took out her film camera again. “Why take pictures on a film if we have digital cameras?” asked Carlos. She turned dramatically around and looked him in the eye. “Because! Imagine, you have to think out every detail for the picture to come out. And you won’t know how it came out til you develop it.” Carlos nodded. “Mind if I take a picture of you then?” She handed him the camera. “Sure.”

Carlos stood up, stepped a few steps back and pointed the camera to their little picnic with her in the center. “Smile!” he said. Her smile was genuine. When Carlos sat back down she sighed, “if only I could take a picture of us together on a picture.”

“So you're telling me you are almost 30?! You don’t seem to be even a day past 24. How is it that you are almost a fossil without looking like it?” “Fossil? I’m not THAT old. Besides, 30 is not the end of human life. It’s just the beginning.” She nodded, “Sure, Fossil.” Carlos attacked her with tickles. “Stop it you muppet! I’m not a fossil!” She had tears in her eyes. “Hahaha, Carlos! Stooop. I can’t take it anymore.” But he shook his head. “Not til you stop calling me that.” She tried to beat it but had to give up. “OK-OK! I won’t call you Fossil again… Dinosaur.” Just as Carlos had stopped, he attacked her again.

The sun was much lower than it had been on their arrival. A slight gust of wind had come. Flowers danced while butterflies tried to land on them. “Would you go out with me?”

#carlos sainz x you #formula one x reader #carlos sainz x reader

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jamminvroomvroom · 1 year

Text

you bring blue lights. part 3

ln x fem!reader

read part 1: a golf swing and a trampoline

read part 2: karma rules!

FINAL PART! i hate it! what else is new? hopefully this wraps things up nicely. thank u for the luv on the other two parts, biiiiiig hugs from me to you MWAH xoxox note: heads up, the max in this series is max fewtrell lmao.

song: little freak by harry styles

in which lando goes back to work and takes you along for the ride. and max is there too. because why wouldn’t he be?

warnings: 18+ pls!! nothing major tbh, smut (mostly implied), bit of angst, bit of fluff, language, anxiety, the worlds most minor f1 incident, max being a snarky little bitch (affectionate)

4.8k words

the colour blue can symbolise many things: bravery and healing. the calm. wisdom and depth. sadness and serenity. permanence.

you weren’t sure what to make of the weather in bahrain. it wasn’t too hot, nor was it cold, but lando was still wearing a hoodie nonetheless. you sat in the passenger seat of the rented volvo, the mild temperature unable to reach you here, especially not with the quadrant hoodie draped over your shoulders. you wanted to shrug it off, the material that once symbolised an unbreakable friendship now resting uncomfortably, a weight, a reminder, but you were there to support your boyfriend, in his every endeavour.

your eyes could have watered, but you blinked, uncontrollably almost, refocusing your gaze onto the centre console, where lando’s large hand held yours. he squeezed once, twice, drawing your eyes from your laced fingers onto his.

you realised then that he’d been murmuring your name, his eyebrows furrowed, concerned. the last thing he needed to worry about today was you. it was quali day in bahrain, the first of the season, and you were sat next to a man on a mission. pull yourself together, woman. you smiled, your lips stretching unconvincingly, the corner of your mouth twitching. this couldn’t be classed as anxiety anymore, it went far beyond that. he sighed, deflated already.

“listen, if you’re not ready to do this…”

“i am. i am!” your voice was abnormally high pitched, and lando wondered where his cool as a cucumber girlfriend had gone. you hated the worry that clouded his sky-grey eyes.

it was your first time in the paddock, and naturally, you were a wreck. a picturesque mess. you’d picked out a nice outfit, something that made you look put together without trying too hard, classy without looking like you were leeching off of lando. you knew what they’d say about you, otherwise. they were already saying it. he’d tried his hardest to keep you hidden but the internet was ablaze with theories and questions and lies and judgement, so he’d suggested that you come to bahrain, viewing it as a perfect opportunity to break the ice with the media and the fans.

it had been finalised and you’d been mentally preparing yourself since the moment you’d decided to attend. but when he turned up to your apartment one day after a meeting, an anxious, babbling mess, you wondered if you’d made a mistake.

it turned out that the bahrain grand prix was a team quadrant event.

with your ticket booked, you’d chosen to suck it up, business as usual, but the idea of a weekend caught between two men that hated each other was not your idea of a good time, especially not when you were the problem. the morning that max had caught you, bare legged and lovesick in lando’s kitchen, would probably haunt you as long as you lived.

lando was angry and max? max was furious. now, they’d both just gone cold.

there was a stillness in the kitchen, ice cold all of the sudden, all of the warmth of you and him gone. you felt like a child caught in the act, nowhere to run. lando looked pale, afraid, utterly distraught. your eyes flicked between him and max, waiting for the dam to break; who would crack first? you couldn’t bare it, lips parting in a whisper.

“max-“ you barely heard yourself but max heard you perfectly, melancholic disgust in his eyes as they flitted to you. you felt small. you felt sick.

“don’t.” he barked. you sunk into yourself, shaking slightly. lando didn’t like that, stepping forward.

“listen to me, we-“ lando started.

“don’t you fucking dare.” max took a deep breath, shaking his head as if to compose himself. it wasn’t working. his eyes glazed over. “you’re not even sorry, are you?” he was looking straight at lando now, as if you weren’t even there.

lando’s lack of response spoke volumes. max cracked, a mixture of disbelief and disappointment shining through the rage. you held your breath. max turned to you, searching for solace, remorse, anything. you looked away.

“you two deserve each other.” max spat.

the slamming of the door made you wince.

lando felt selfish the second you touched down in bahrain. he watched your leg bounce on the plane, in the car, sat on the edge of the hotel bed, and wondered if this was all too much too soon. he needed you, but did you need this? the media, the fans? him? he ached watching you stare at your intertwined fingers sat on the centre console, your eyes glistening.

he was so, so selfish, a point proven over and over, and you were everything but. you were here, living proof of the fact.

the quadrant hoodie you wore, the bright blue contrasting with how you’d paled the second he’d parked the car, reminded lando of his crimes. you were blue, too, his calm amongst the chaos, an ocean that he thanked every god he could think of that he got to explore. you were a serenity, a serendipity, his bright blue light that kept him grounded.

if he’d ever doubted it before, he knew he loved you, completely and utterly, when you took a deep breath and got out of that car.

you let lando lead the way, a few steps ahead. you wondered if he could feel you shaking. you let go of him briefly, to scan your pass and slide through the gate, but he was reaching for you instantly. his thumb rubbed the soft skin of your hand, soothing you as the flashes of the cameras began to creep in the further you made it in to the paddock. you stared ahead, keeping your face as neutral as possible, letting him tow you along.

you stumbled when he stopped to take a picture with a fan, signing another’s hat, taking the moment to gather yourself. you became all too aware of your surroundings, the sheer amount of cameras pointed in your direction making you nauseous. as your hard exterior began to crumble, you felt his arm hook over your shoulder, a firm kiss planted on your forehead as you fell into step beside him once more.

“you got this, baby.” he murmured. you couldn’t help but smile up at him, finally feeling a small sense of ease. lando smiled back at you, and suddenly you wanted to frame every single stupid pictures they were taking of you both.

“so do you.” you grinned. he smiled bashfully. you knew how much this weekend meant to him.

you made your way into the mclaren hospitality, keeping close to lando. you sighed, relieved to be away from the cameras, and he introduced you to some members of his team, letting you make small talk while he spoke to his engineers.

you were intrigued watching him fall into the zone, calm, at ease, immersed into his world. you didn’t miss the way he kept an eye on you as he made his rounds. he ushered you over, pulling you deeper into the building, greeting people along the way. soon, you found yourself being led into his drivers room.

lando placed his bag on the table, small smile on his face as he moved around the room. you hoisted yourself up onto the massage table, swinging your legs, content in just watching him in his natural habitat.

“what are you smiling about, hmm?” you asked, eyebrow quirked.

“just you, being here. it’s nice.” he crossed the room and closed the gap, hands smoothing over your thighs as he parted them to stand between your legs.

“i like seeing you like this, you know. like watching you.” you placed your hands over his.

“oh, i know, love. always catch you staring.” he smirked.

“in that case, maybe i’ll just go back to the hotel.” you turned your head dramatically, leaning away from him.

“don’t be like that, you’d be lonely in that big bed without me.” he teased.

“i’m sure i could find a way to entertain myself.” you smirked at him, a frustrated groan emitting from the back of his throat as he grinned down at you.

“you’re cruel.” he murmured, giving into his desire and closing the gap.

you smiled against his lips, gripping hard at the material of his hoodie to pull him closer. his hands moved over the crease in your thighs, pulling at your hips as he kissed you harder. you threaded your fingers through his curls, tongue brushing his bottom lip. you enjoyed the noises he made, the low hum that vibrated against your mouth. your flushed body ran cold at the sudden rattling of the door handle.

you had no time to react when the door swung open, jon nonchalantly walking in, talking over his shoulder to a tired looking max and niran. your blood ran cold, hit by a sickening sense of deja vu that had you burying your face in lando’s chest. you felt lando vibrate as he cleared his throat, jon stopping in his tracks.

“shit.” jon grimaced, realising. “sorry, i- we didn’t know you were in here, someone said you were in the garage, didn’t mean to walk in on you like, uh, this.” he rambled awkwardly. a scoff from somewhere behind him made lando tense up, your eyes squeezing shut in discomfort.

“not like it’s the first time.” max muttered.

“i just came to pick up your schedule, sorry mate.” jon quickly cut in. you dared to look, peeking out from lando’s hoodie. niran was staring at the ceiling, quite clearly wishing he was somewhere else. you wished you were there too. max had his arms crossed, looking around the room. you couldn’t work out why he’d come in here.

max caught you staring, eyes hardening immediately as he took in the way your fingers curled into the material of lando’s hoodie, of lando’s hands on your hips. you could visualise the flashbacks he must have been having. he turned on his heel, leaving without another word, and you sighed. niran threw you a sympathetic smile, awkwardly waiting for jon who’d finally found the paper he was looking for, and then you and lando were alone again.

you looked up at him, noticing the way his jaw was tensed, the way his eyes had darkened, cold all of the sudden. he didn’t need this kind of stress, not when he was hours away from getting in the car. this season had no room for error, not when his new teammate was tipped to perform well, not when he was the new leader. you wondered if your being there was right.

“hey, its okay. maybe i should just go back to the hotel today, hm?” you suggested softly. his dark expression switched to one of vulnerability.

“no, no. you shouldn’t have to leave because he can’t be a grown up.” lando shook his head, frustration evident in his tone.

“you’ve got an important day ahead, babe. last thing we need is you being surrounded by all this,” you gestured around the room. “negativity.” you reasoned. his face fell further, hands moving to cup your cheeks.

“none of this is your fault, okay? you’re the only one i want here. let him sulk. i tried to fix it and he wouldn’t have it.”

“we hurt him, lando. it is my fault.” you averted eye contact as you spoke.

“hey, look at me. look at me.” you met his eyes again, which had warmed up significantly as he gazed at you. “i want you here. i need you here. don’t let him get to you. he’ll be doing work stuff anyway, you’ll hardly see him. i want you to be a part of his, okay? try and have some fun.”

you sighed, realising that your desire to be near lando, to support him, outweighed the guilt you felt towards max. after all, as cruel as it may have been, that’s why you’d chosen lando. that’s why you were here, every discomfort that you felt pushed aside. you nodded your head, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“now, i need to get changed. try not to stare too much, darling.” he pecked your lips, tension melting away as the smirk returned.

you pushed him away playfully, choosing to scroll through your phone as he started to prepare himself, letting your eyes wander occasionally. he’d wink every time he caught you looking.

despite the blush on your cheeks and the smile you couldn’t contain, you couldn’t help the bad feeling that crept in, lurking at the corner of your happiness. this would be a long weekend.

lando busied himself with his race suit, changing quickly. every time he looked up, throwing you a wink, he pretended that he wasn’t spiralling. he could see you thinking too hard, worrying, acting like you weren’t. all he wanted was for you to have a nice time with him, experience something so important to him, and already that idea, that visual of you becoming a bigger part of his world, it was crumbling all around him.

he let himself be angry at max sometimes, framing him as the source of your anxiety, but that was just a pitstop he made before he placed the blame back where it belonged; this was all lando’s fault. but this mess, this chaos, this love? he was willing to pay for his mistakes forever if it meant that every race weekend started and ended in your arms.

and so, lando did what lando did best. he kissed his girlfriend, got in his car, and made his way into Q3.

lando had qualified well, better than what had been expected, hugging you right when he’d bounded into the garage. you’d been surprised at how nervous it made you, watching him drive out of the garage and onto the track. you found yourself unable to take your eyes off him on the screen ahead of you, nails chewed down anxiously for the entire session. you clung to him, letting out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. you allowed yourself to kiss him, just a quick peck, settling.

you let him leave once more, comforted by the fact that his biggest danger now was the media that awaited him, and navigated yourself out of the garage. you couldn’t pretend you weren’t a little bit lost in the winding corridors, but finally you stumbled out of the tunnel, the one your boyfriend always tapped the top of, a superstition, and into the sunlight. you hovered in the entrance, staring out at the bustle of the paddock.

it felt so surreal, overwhelming to be here for lando. with him, at last. you just couldn’t seem to shake the fear you felt watching him get in the car. the thought of the impending race made you nauseous.

as you stood there blocking the entrance, lost in your thoughts and the complexities of your relationship, you were reminded of the only hurdle it faced, at the unimpressed clearing of someone’s throat.

you turned quickly on your heel at the noise, snapped out of your thoughts. you gulped.

“can i get past, please?” max asked, refusing the eye contact that you were desperately trying to make. you didn’t miss the way his eyes rolled at the sight of the blue quadrant hoodie covering your frame.

“i should probably let you, shouldn’t i?” you smiled, weakly, a feeble attempt at breaking the ice.

all max did was nod ever so slightly.

“will you talk to me?” you took note of just how pathetic you sounded.

“i can’t, i have somewhere to be.” he said, quiet with emotion, careful with his tone.

“just a minute, please max.” he flinched at his name falling from your traitorous tongue.

“i can’t do this right now.” he tried to side step you, but you blocked him.

“i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry. if you believe anything, believe that.” you begged.

“i don’t know what to believe anymore.”

you didn’t fight him again, defeated as you watched him walk away.

you seemed different when lando found you later after the media rush, in the quiet of the paddock. you seemed sad, although you kept it carefully concealed. he noticed the way you held his hand tighter, kissed him softer. he wanted to get you out of the paddock, away from it all, take you back to the hotel where he could touch you and hold you and take away this dull pain.

he prayed that you weren’t getting too blue, that you wouldn’t go cold in his presence, the more you adapted to the bittersweet realities of his lifestyle.

he wondered if his anxieties were misplaced when you kissed him with everything you had and tumbled into the white bed linen with him, burning for one another.

lando reminded himself that you were still here. he knew all too well that you didn’t stay for just anyone.

lando looked beautiful when he was asleep. he was always so busy, always on the go, so you cherished these mornings dearly. a stream of sunlight made its way over the sheets, creeping up his body, bathing him in warmth. you hadn’t shut the curtains properly, urgently falling into bed with him, but you were thankful for it now as he stirred. the only thing better than watching the soft rise and fall of his chest was watching him wake up.

his eyes fluttered open, his arm stretching out and over your waist. you gazed at the blue-green of his eyes, rolling over and into his side. you pressed a kiss to his shoulder, engulfed by the heat of his bare skin pressed against yours. you stayed there quietly, letting him wake up.

suddenly, he let out a groan, rolling on top of you, curls falling in his eyes. you’d told him one night in dubai, after a cocktail too many, that he should grow his hair out. you’d whispered something seductive in his ear about having more to pull on. he’d quickly taken you back to your suite, and happily obliged with your request ever since.

you’d spent last night in a similar situation, pouncing on him immediately when you’d gotten back from the track. a day spent watching him drive had riled you up, and paired with your neediness, you were gagging for it by the time you got him alone. lando pulled you out of your daydream with a kiss, his body melting into yours.

“what’s on your mind?” his voice was low, gravelly from where he’d just woken up.

“nothing, just thinking.” you mused. he leaned in closer, lips brushing yours.

“about what? because i’m still thinking about last night.” lando murmured. you smiled coyly up at him.

“why? what happened last night?” you faked confusion, eyebrow raised.

“this beautiful woman could not keep her hands to herself.” lando feigned shock.

“that must have been so difficult for you.” your voice oozed sarcasm.

“it was very hard.” he grinned, devilish, leaning down to kiss you again.

you could feel the press of his body, every inch of his warm skin against yours. your hand slid softly across his face, brushing his curls back, tugging gently at the strands as his lips left yours and trailed down your jaw.

the air got hotter, charged, when he nipped at your neck, your collarbone, and dug his fingers into your hip, kneading your soft edges. your mouth hung open, panting slightly in anticipation, skin alight as his hand worked across the crease of your thigh. lando gripped your inner thigh, spreading you open, letting his fingers run rampant.

he continued to mouth at your shoulder, biting down gently as he found your clit, the medley of pleasure and pain making your eyes roll back. the rest of your morning was a blur.

lips on yours, fingers working you open. his name, a prayer. your legs, wrapped around him, numb. sweat and bliss, you and him. your legs shook, vision bleary.

lando was all yours, belonged to you, your name tearing sweetly from the depths of him as he let himself get lost.

you stared up at him, breathless and grinning.

lando had one singular thought when he managed to pull himself from the crook of your neck, languid and tingling. between the chaos and the quiet, you found a way to bring him back to earth, gleaming blue.

i love you.

“are you looking forward to the race?” you’d heard him ask.

it had been quiet for a while, your unrelenting bout of morning sex leaving you a tangled, sleepy mess.

“i don’t know.” brutal honestly seemed to be your forte.

“ouch.” he teased.

“i don’t know how to be okay with watching you.” it was the realest thing you’d said to lando all weekend, mumbled into his collarbone where you hid your face.

“you’ve seen me race.” he shifted, as if he was trying to find your face, your eyes, voice laced with confusion.

“yeah, but that was before.”

“before what?”

“just…before.”

before i knew what you meant to me.

before i broke your best friends heart.

before i fell in love with you.

you spent the duration of the formation lap looking for the nearest exit, telling yourself that you were being ridiculous, and wondering how every other loved one coped every race weekend. to your surprise, max was stood on the other side of the garage. you figured he would have chosen to be anywhere else, but his fingers drumming against the countertop, in an identical fashion to yours, made you wonder if he shared the pit in your stomach.

your eyes flitted around nervously, taking short breaths as the cars lined up on the grid. five lights went on, and then out, and you held your breath.

lando made it through turn one, turn two. through lap one, lap 17, lap 34. he was having a good race, a great one even, the byproduct of a strong start, his race craft and a calculated strategy. you made the mistake of starting to relax.

you gasped when an alpine tagged his car. one hand flew to your mouth, the other gripping the wire of your headphones in sheer, gut-twisting panic. your eyes fixed on the screen, watching him spin, spin, spin across the track. you were frozen, utterly unmoving, time stopping around you until his car suddenly did out on track.

he was fine.

he skidded to a halt, making his way safely back onto the track, carrying on as normal. he was completely, totally fine.

you burst into tears.

you heard the headphones clatter gently against the surface top, a blur through your tears, and quickly left the garage. you blindly made your way through the stupid, little corridors and back into that tunnel that led to the paddock. you slumped against the metal wall, sobbing, no use in wiping your free flowing tears. how were you supposed to do it, to live this life, holding your breath every time lando went to work?

you heard footsteps approaching, a pang of embarrassment flashing in the pit of your stomach that made you want to disappear. you took a shaky breath, wondering how you could possibly escape, when you heard the footsteps coming to a halt, the mystery person stopping. you looked up shyly, blinking away tears. you were shocked to see max was stood opposite you, leant against the wall behind him. he sighed.

“stuff like that happens. he’s fine, you know?” max reassured you. you couldn’t quite believe that he was here, let alone offering you some shred of comfort. the tears made a comeback.

“how do people do this? i barely made it through turn one.” you sniffled, voice cracking.

“you just learn to live with it. that fear that you’re feeling, it never quite goes away. but watching him succeed? it becomes worth it.” max spoke with a quiet admiration, one that made your heart ache. you were reminded of just how human he was.

“what if i can’t do it? the idea of something happening to him…” you trailed off, shaking your head.

“i can’t believe i’m about to say this but,” max sighed once more, reluctant to admit what he’d come to realise. “he needs you here. and i know you, you wouldn’t be doing any of this with him if you didn’t want to. if i believe anything, it’s that.”

you looked down at his words, the echo of yesterdays run-in ringing in your ears. he knew all too well that you wouldn’t be in a relationship that you didn’t want to be in. the guilt crept back in.

“i didn’t mean for any of this to happen the way it did.” your voice wavered.

“well, you can’t help who you fall in love with.” max shrugged.

“what?” your head snapped up to look at him, blindsided by his words. was it so obvious?

“what? you do love him, don’t you?” max asked, confused.

“i, well, we haven’t- i mean, i haven’t-“ you rambled.

“don’t tell me you guys fucked me over for nothing.” max teased. you looked up at him like a rabbit in headlights. he laughed at your expression, and you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. you joined in, laughing with him as the tears finally dried up.

“you should tell him.”

“if i do that, are you gonna hate me even more than you already do?”

“i don’t- i could never hate you.” max’s gaze softened. “and as much as i’d love to right now, i could never hate him, either.” he rolled his eyes.

“talk to him?” you suggested, cautious. max smiled.

“don’t push your luck this weekend.” he grinned. “you ready to go back in there? the race is pretty much over.”

you nodded, smiled, walking alongside him in comfortable silence back into the garage. the team were elated, a decent recovery made after the shambles of last season, but all you could focus on was how desperate you were to see lando. max walked back to the desk where he’d been watching the race, throwing you a reassuring wink. you smiled softly.

max was the first person that lando really saw when he entered the garage. the air seemed to have thinned out, lighter, somehow. he’d ask questions later.

max smiled, small. lando could barely contain the grin he returned the olive branch with.

something clicked, somewhere deep in his chest, and the healing process began. in progress, finally, slowly but surely.

lando inhaled, and for the first time in forever, it felt easy. he almost couldn’t remember what that felt like.

then, lando saw you, a bright blue light, starlike, his beacon, waiting for him in the corner of the garage. he weaved his way through the sea of people until he was secure in your arms.

oscar walked in first, the team cheering him on after his first race. lando followed soon after, getting his own celebration. you watched on, a warmth filling your chest; you knew max was right. you watched lando walk through the garage, met with slaps on the back, ruffles of his messy curls. he smiled wide, wider somehow when his eyes landed on max. it was a welcome surprise, one that drenched you in relief.

lando’s eyes darted around until he found you, catching you staring from the back of the room. he made a beeline to you, engulfing you in a hug. his eyebrows furrowed, confused, perhaps, at your puffy cheeks and red eyes, but your hands flew to his cheeks, lips meeting his. he kissed you back, smiling against your lips. you pulled back, grinning up at him.

“are you okay, sweetheart?” he whispered.

“i’m just so proud of you.” you murmured.

“i’m so glad that you’re here.” he gently squeezed your waist, nose bumping yours.

“i need to tell you something.” your stomach twisted, this time in excitement; butterflies.

“what?”

“i love you, lando.” his whole face changed, his smile bigger than you’d ever seen it.

“i love you.” he replied, cupping your face. his thumbs grazed your cheekbones. “god, you have no idea how much i…” he trailed off, searching your eyes for a moment before he kissed you again, deep and slow. the tears that hit your cheeks weren’t your own, and you held him even tighter.

you broke apart, his head falling into the crook of your neck, hot kisses pressed to the exposed skin. your fingers ran though his hair, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck.

over lando’s shoulder, you could see max, hint of a smile on his face. your eyes watered again, meeting his across the garage, and he smiled, properly.

all the pieces fell, messily, into place.

max watched on, aching at the way you clung to lando, your hands in his hair, lando’s lips pressed so intimately to the delicate skin of your neck. max felt a dull sense of happiness sneak in; you and lando were the picture of what love was supposed to look like. you’d never looked at him the way he’d always caught you looking at lando.

it didn’t hurt any less yet, but he was starting to realise that it would.

thank fuck that’s over

taglist

@boysthatgovroomvroom @thegirlinthefandoms @welld0nebaku @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys @turningxstrange @rachstash @infinitebells @multilovebot @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @yeolsbubbles @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @organasith @micks-afterglow @blueflorals @juno-1610 @lqvesoph @wilmasvensson @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @h0e-xoxo @mattxxamryli @pjofics

(i’ve removed tags that weren’t working - lemme know if you wanna be added or removed xoxox)

#lando norris #lando norris fic #lando norris smut #lando norris fluff #lando norris angst #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #f1 fic #f1 smut #f1 #f1 fluff #f1 angst #f1 imagine #lando norris imagine #max fewtrell #max fewtrell fic

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spenglernot · 5 months

Text

STORIES TELLING: HOW RECURRING MUSIC IN OFMD CAUSES MENTAL DEVASTATION IN THE VERY BEST WAY

How the Blackbeard theme, Gnossienne No. 5, and Voi Che Sapepte reveal, reinforce and recontextualize the narrative. An in-depth analysis of key scenes throughout seasons 1 and 2.

Much gratitude to pocket friends who were so encouraging and provided valuable feedback while I worked on this.

Meta by these authors (links, below the cut) influenced this video:

@asneakyfox, @asongaboutpirates, @bakasara, @doyoueverstopandthink, @chaotic-neutral-knitter, @forpiratereasons @fresne999 @gaypiratepropaganda, @jaskierx, @medievill, @mxmollusca, @piratecaptainscaptainpirates @veeagainsttheday, @57flagsofdeath

Gnossienne No. 5 doyoueverstopandthink - i will literally never get over about how fantastic the transition from robert schumann's "träumerei" to erik satie's "gnossiennes: no. 5" is

Voi Che Sapete asongaboutpirates - Another little detail about OFMD that makes me go feral

Transformation in OFMD fresne999 - Half way through the journey of our analyses mxmollusca - The transformation from object to subject, from something that has things done to it versus someone with agency.

Ed's & Izzy's Relationship asneakyfox - you have to understand i have always felt the key thing that makes blackhands interesting...

chaotic-neutral-knitter - Izzy telling Stede "I know you think you understand him," and Stede immediately describing Ed's emotional state perfectly accurately... gaypiratepropaganda - On Izzy saying "because of your feelings for Stede fucking Bonnet"

Ed's Arc veeagainsttheday - Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

piratecaptainscaptainpirates - I've been thinking about how Ed starts directly killing people in s2e8 57flagsofdeath - Still thinking about this scene. Ed lights the fire place, puts a blanket on the floor to lay on, and puts the two cake toppers next to each other before rolling over and bursting into tears. asneakyfox - i've talked a fair bit about how i don't think "anger issues" is a very useful way to describe how the show frames ed's relationship with violence

Izzy's Arc bakasara - Trying to parse my thoughts on Izzy's death and why I had a different reaction to it than I thought I would. forpiratereasons - all right. i'm ready to talk about izzy.

Love & Relationships in OFMD jaskierx - posting some thoughts from the discord about how many 'irl relationship' things they're dealing with in ep7 and how much i am eating my mattress about it medievill - ofmd does not give a fuck about reality or history or anachronism but it draws the line at magic dick.

#The effectiveness and attention to detail of the OFMD sound crew's use of recurring music to emphasize the narrative is incredible #If you love the music in OFMD you'll probably enjoy this #OFMD is an absolute treasure #gnossienne no. 5 #blackbeard theme #voi che sapete #kraken theme #ofmd music #Mark Mothersbaugh #maggie phillips #OFMD sound crew #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s1 #ofmd s2 #ofmd s1 s2 music comparison

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bitchesgetriches · 2 years

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On food and groceries:

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

On entertainment and socializing:

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date

The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There

Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!

What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

On other big expenses:

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague

Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke

You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income)

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It

On buying secondhand and trading:

Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

In Defense of Shameless Regifting

Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities

The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

How to Spot a Charitable Scam

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again?

On resisting temptation:

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending

On minimalism and buying less:

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse

Slay Your Financial Vampires

The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending

On saving money:

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal

The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

#saving money #being frugal #money advice #personal finance #how to save money #impulse spending #spend less

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heliza24 · 1 year

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Hey, hope you’re doing well. I loved reading your analysis on Simon and Marcus. Speaking of those two, I’d like to read your take on their final confrontation in the last episode.

There’s a lot of mixed opinions on what Marcus said to Simon. Some would say that Marcus was absolutely correct in saying that Simon always plays the victim and loves the drama and that Simon needed to hear that. Others would say that Simon is a victim and that Marcus was out of line.

That line, “you see yourself as some victim among those rich brats” really rubbed me the wrong way. I’m not sure how Simon ending things with Marcus correlates to Marcus thinking Simon plays the victim at Hillerska. Plus it makes no sense too. What does Marcus even know about Simon? That he can sing, had an intimate video released, the prince screwed him over and he had an alcoholic father. He knows absolutely nothing about Simon’s social life at Hillerska. He never knew about the drug situation or the music room fight in season 2 episode 5. So where did that line come from? And if anyone was playing the victim here it’s Marcus. Simon warned him, he didn’t listen and then he got hurt. How are YOU not gonna listen then entirely blame someone for your decisions when you got hurt. Marcus can only blame himself.

Then the whole, “you say don’t want drama but that’s what turns you on”. Saying that to someone who just had their tape released is cruel. Like tf.

And honestly, was their relationship something to get upset over? They hung out 4 times, kissed 3 times (2 of which were initiated by Marcus), a bunch of ghosting and they never got to the talking phase. They know next to nothing about each other. And when they hung out, Simon looked uncomfortable and uninterested most of the time. I know some people can’t take the hint but Marcus was on another level of blind. And it doesn’t help that Simon already told him that he was not ready for anything serious. This “relationship” was doomed from the start.

What are your thoughts and analysis on Simon and Marcus’ final conversation? Thanks in advance for taking your time to answer.

Hey there anon! Thanks for sending me your thoughts about Simon and Marcus. I have to say I agree with you! I am in full sympathy with Simon through all of his and Marcus’s arguments, and I do agree that some of the things Marcus says are pretty cruel. I dated someone a very long time ago, when I was not that much older than Simon, who treated me in the same way that Marcus treats Simon, so I find him pretty infuriating. And I think it means I have some insight into the dynamic of their relationship and how it breaks down.

In order to understand their final breakup scene, I actually think we need to backtrack to 2.3 when Simon first tries to end the relationship. To me this is the most enraging Marcus moment, and I think it illuminates the fundamental problem going on here. While Simon is trying to break up with Marcus, Marcus focuses on everything except Simon’s actual feelings in an effort to convince him not to leave. First it’s Wilhelm. Marcus thinks that Simon must be worried that he will hurt Simon in the same way Wilhelm did. Marcus claims to never have seen the tape (an assertion @bluedalahorse and I think might be a lie, but that’s headcanon), and assures Simon that he would never do something like that. Then it’s Simon’s family; he assumes that because Simon’s parents didn’t have a healthy relationship, Simon must not know how to appreciate a healthy partnership. This is the thing that Marcus says that grinds my gears the most. For him just to assume that he knows the extent and effect of Micke’s addiction, possible abuse, and abandonment of Simon is so presumptuous.

To be generous to Marcus here, I think this is a perfect example of a theory of mind issue. Theory of mind “refers to the capacity to understand other people by ascribing mental states to them” (that’s from the wiki definition). Instead of seeing who Simon is, and trying to understand Simon’s emotions as he describes them, Marcus has created an image of Simon in his head. He has decided how the abuse (both familial and the video) that Simon has endured has affected him, and has also decided what Simon needs in order to heal those wounds. Crucially, Marcus has decided that Simon needs Marcus’s help to heal. Marcus is doing this out of generosity; wanting to heal Simon is a nice thought. But the violation here is in the assumption. Marcus never finds out how Simon really feels because he never listens to him. And you could maybe go as far to say that assuming that Simon needs to be “fixed” because of those experiences is a violation too. Those experiences are what makes Simon who he is.

To be less generous, I once had a very similar argument with my then partner, where I was trying to break up and he was trying to get me to stay. I was left feeling defeated, and like he had made such a good argument that I had to stay. His approach was similar to Marcus’s. He poked at all of my emotional bruises (and claimed to understand them better than me) until I felt too confused to assert my boundaries. So I really feel for Simon in that scene.

Another thing I want to mention is that Marcus is in some ways Simon’s antagonist, and his insistence that he knows and understands Simon better than Simon knows himself is the catalyst that prompts Simon’s season 2 arc, which is about him getting in touch with, accepting, and then acting on his true emotions. I wrote about that more in depth here.

There’s another element to Marcus that I don’t see discussed much, which is the unique spot he occupies in the class system of the show. We’re used to seeing the upper, noble class that dominates Hillerska, and the working class represented by Sara and Simon (and also Rosh and Ayub). But Marcus is a representative of a kind of in between, and at first glance appears to be middle class. He goes to public school, and does manual labor at the stables. His little backyard apartment feels like something an upper middle class family might create for their teenage son. But his parents are actually land owners. They own the stables and the shooting range that they rent out to Hillerska. We never find out if Marcus’s family is actually noble and inherited that land, or if they’re new money and bought it on their own. But I think some of Marcus’s superiority complex comes from the fact that even though he has money, he isn’t, in his mind, spoiled or snobby like the kids at Hillerska. He surely could have gotten a place at Hillerska, for instance, because of the way his family supports the school. He surely doesn’t have to work to survive (I am basing this on the fact that his family has enough money to build him his own apartment.) But he stays humble and grounded by going to public school and working at the stables. He’s so humble and good, in fact, that he is going to treat working class Simon right, unlike that stuck up prince who threw him to the royal wolves. And some of the way that he turns on Simon in their break up scene, especially in the line you quoted– “you see yourself as some victim among those rich brats”-- feels like he has taken off his mask, and is exposing the classist way he actually sees Simon. If Simon, poor boy that he is, isn’t willing to let the benevolent Marcus rescue him, then he deserves everything those rich bastards can dish out. There’s also a shade of bootstrap mentality here. Marcus works hard, even if his family has money. He’s earned his driver’s license, and he knows exactly the kind of relationship that he wants with Simon. Why can’t Simon do the same?

Obviously the answer is because Simon is a different person from a different set of circumstances. And then we’re back to Marcus’s inability to see Simon as a complete independent person.

So I completely agree with you when you say that Marcus is cruel in this scene, and misinterpreted Simon’s level of interest, and is making a big deal out of a relationship that never really existed in the first place. But I also think we as viewers are reacting to some of the subtle themes that Marcus represents. The way he fits into the class structure of the show and the way that he connects to Simon’s arc is really significant.

I know Lisa and Tommy were very positive about Marcus in some of the season 2 promo, in a way that irritated some fans. But I think I understand where they’re coming from. Marcus does have good intentions, even if those intentions are only skin deep, and it’s ok to acknowledge them. Tommy especially has to exist in Marcus’s mindset in order to play him, and it’s fundamental to Marcus’s character that he sees himself as a good guy. And for Lisa, Marcus is a great character because he challenges Simon and adds complexity to the way class is explored in the show. It’s hard to summarize all of that in an interview, especially in a way that isn’t going to result in fan backlash. So I don’t have a problem with how they portrayed him in promo.

Thanks for asking anon, and thank you for reading what turned out to be quite a long post! I think we all have some unresolved Marcus trauma that we need to work through. I know I did at least.

#young royals #my meta #ask box #marcus young royals #simon eriksson

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tooneys-russo · 4 months

Text

YOU DECIDED FOR US

Plot: Riley and Alessia have a messy history. Now that Alessia is back in the UK can they work out their issues?

CHAPTER 1

Alessia and Riley had both grown up with a football glued to their feet, they had both gone into the youth teams together and competed with each other in many tournaments. There had always been some tension between the two, with a few kisses exchanged and a drunken night spent together when they were 17 just before Alessia left. Alessia had signed with UNC for her college years to develop her football further. Riley cut off contact during Alessia’s college years and had signed for Arsenal and had become close with Leah Williamson.

As soon as COVID hit Alessia went back to her family’s home in London, she continued training while her agent and brother Luca was talking to Manchester United about a potential contract. She saw an Instagram post from Riley of her in a park not too far from Alessia’s house having a kick, which was allowed with the COVID rules. Alessia watched the girl’s technique and it was flawless, she sent a message to the Arsenal player. ‘Hey Riley its Alessia, I saw you were at Gosche’s Paddock having a kick. I live near there. I was just wondering if you wanted to have a kick sometime?’ Riley was back at Leah’s having dinner when the message came through, she looked at it and showed Leah. “Oh shit, Alessia Russo. Maybe she wants to reconnect.” Leah wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Shut up.” Riley threw a roast potato at her Arsenal teammate. “We made out a few times years ago, we slept together once. Haven’t seen her in ages.” Riley responded and looked at the message again. ‘Yeah sure. I am going down tomorrow at 2. See you then.’ Riley glared at Leah who knew that Riley couldn’t resist the pull of a gorgeous blonde girl.

The following day Riley showed up at the field in London, she had set up some cones and put out a bunch of footballs ready for Alessia. Riley had also set up some water and gatorade for them while they trained. “Nice set up Riley.” The blonde striker walked over. “Kind of shocked that you pulled all this together for little old me.” Riley turned to the blonde, she looked a little older but still just as gorgeous as the last time she had seen her. “I guess I just had to impress the UNC superstar right?” Alessia laughed. The two went through some drills. It wasn’t an incredibly hot summer in London but the two were sweating after an hour. “Holy shit Riley this is mental.” Alessia sat down by the water and laid back, Riley smirked and grabbed a water, she poured it over her head and it trickled down her body. Alessia stared at her and watched as she took her shirt off. “Take a picture Russo. It’ll last longer.” She threw her Arsenal training shirt at the blonde striker. “Just amazed that you are still standing.” Alessia choked out. “Yeah sure.” She rolled her eyes and offered a hand to Alessia to help her up. Riley pulled her up and they stood starting into each other’s eyes, they were the same height, Riley caught herself and stepped back. “Lets keep going. No WSL side will sign you if you are lazy.” Alessia grabbed Riley’s hand. “Wait, how did you know I am going to join the WSL?”

Riley laughed at Alessia. “Oh please, it’s obvious to anyone with eyes. You have two fantastic seasons at UNC, then suddenly you are back and your brother was spotted at United a couple weeks ago?” Riley shrugged. “He kind of stands out.” Alessia watched Riley as she set up another drill. “What? Want me to get out some paper to show you how everyone worked it out? Come on Less you went to College it is obvious.” Riley walked back over to Alessia. “You will do great there, you would be better at Arsenal but I guess you don’t always make the best decisions now do you?” The question had a bit of venom that Riley regretted immediately. It had been three years since they had slept together, only for Alessia to tell Riley that she was leaving in a few weeks, meaning that Riley cut off contact and hid from the girl even at Lioness camps. Alessia looked down. “It was the best for me. For my football.” Riley didn’t respond, rather she walked over to their next drill.

Once their session was finished Riley began picking her things up to take to her car. “Riley, I am really sorry.” Riley shrugged. “Don’t be.” She said coldly. “Let me know if you want to do another session. Tomorrow is my recovery day so I won’t be around.” Riley couldn’t look at Alessia as she packed her car. Alessia followed Riley, “So you don’t want to talk about what happened between us?” Riley sighed and turned to face Alessia. “To be honest no. It was hard as shit to get over you Alessia but I did it, alone. All of that is just a memory for me, a great memory but I am different now. I just need to focus on myself and my football. Just like you did. I will see you around Less-Alessia.” Riley corrected herself and closed the boot of her car and drove off leaving the blonde watching her pull away. Alessia messaged Riley a few days later, wanting to meet up for another session. ‘Sorry, heading into club training. Maybe another time.’ There was minimal contact between the two, Alessia being the one to initiate contact. Riley couldn’t bring herself to let the girl back into her life, not like she used to be.

When it was announced that Alessia had signed with Manchester United, Riley had liked the instagram announcement but never reached out to the blonde and Alessia sat with the message box open unable to type out anything to the girl. After a couple celebratory drinks with Ella she messaged Lotte, ‘Hey, Ella and I are in London and we are having a little bit of a party to celebrate me signing and the COVID restrictions easing. Come over and bring some of the girls. If possible, can you bring Riley?’ Lotte showed up at Leah and Riley’s place telling them about the sneaky party. “Nah I am fine thanks.” Riley said not bothering to get off the couch. “Come on please, I will let you wear my vintage Arsenal jumper that you had your eye on.” Riley looked up at Lotte. “Fine.” She trudged upstairs to get changed, she threw on an oversized white t shirt, black skinny jeans, a pair of Nike Jordan’s and a backwards Nike cap. On the way Riley stayed quiet, nervous about seeing Alessia again after their last encounter and the fight.

Alessia and Ella were already tipsy when they arrived at the house. They both wrapped their arms around Lotte, Leah and Riley. Alessia’s hug lingered on Riley for an extra second before the girl pulled away and looked at the ground, Alessia smiled at the girl. “You liked the post.” She said matter of factly. “Can’t hate me that much.” She sipped her drink. “Just being polite, would be weird if someone who had known you for ten years didn’t like that you were coming to WSL wouldn’t it?” Riley moved past Alessia to grab a drink. Alessia watched Riley closely as they both got slightly more drunk with every passing minute. Riley stumbled out the back into the yard and sat down on a chair by the fire, she was happy no one else was out there so she could have some peace and quiet. It was quickly ruined by a drunk blonde who pulled up a chair next to Riley. “You hate me.” Alessia said and sipped her drink. “Oh shit, how did you work that out?” Riley smirked and leant back on the chair. “I know I fucked up but you also know I had to go.” Alessia put her hand on Riley’s leg. “Yeah I know. But I also know that you could have told me. I would have waited for you. I would have done fucking anything for you Alessia.” She looked into the blonde girl’s eyes. “I am sorry.” Alessia leant towards Riley. “Fuck your sorry.” Riley leant in and spoke against Alessia’s lips before standing up. She felt an empty can hit her back. “Fuck you Riley.” Alessia spat. “Oh princess you already did. Or don’t you remember?” Riley turned and walked quickly to Alessia so they were inches apart. “You think I didn’t miss you? I spent fucking ages trying to get over you. I wanted nothing more than you.” Alessia held back the tears. “You had me. I know for a fact you got with someone two weeks into being at UNC. Good to know two weeks is ages for you. I don’t want anything to do with you Alessia. You are fucking poison. Have fun at United, at least I will only have to put up with your shit for 180 minutes a year.” Riley finished her drink and stormed out of the house.

Alessia spent the rest of the night drinking more and began talking with Jill Roord, the rest of the night was a blur for Alessia until the next morning. She woke up next to a girl, part of her prayed it was Riley that they maybe had some heated hate sex. But that was quickly dashed when the girl rolled over and it was Jill not Riley. Alessia sat up and rubbed her face, her phone had messages from a few of the girls with pictures of her and Jill dancing together and kissing. She groaned and got up from the bed, she had to head back to Manchester that afternoon and knew she would be feeling a bit poorly the whole time. Jill rubbed her eyes and looked at Alessia. “Well good morning to you.” Alessia smiled at the girl. “Good morning. Sorry to be that girl but I have to leave back to Manchester today.” She grabbed a shirt from the ground and put it on. “Oh no don’t worry. We have a team meeting tonight, maybe next time you are in London you can let me know, we could catch up again.” Alessia didn’t respond, she was putting everything together in her head of who Jill plays for. “Um maybe.” Jill rolled her eyes and got up from the bed. “Okay guess not.” Jill got dressed in silence and left the house without anything else being said.

Ella and Alessia headed back to Manchester in the afternoon. “So you and Jill.” Ella smirked, Alessia sighed and put her sunglasses on. “I had a fight with Riley then the rest is a blur.” Ella examined Alessia’s face. “What ever happened between you two?” Alessia ran Ella through their stolen kisses at youth camp and everything leading up to their first time. “Oh Less.” Ella said sympathetically, Alessia having a few tears escape her eyes. “I never knew. I am so sorry. Are you okay?” Alessia just nodded and kept looking out the window of the moving train.

Riley showed up at the Arsenal team meeting with Leah, they were just chatting about the upcoming season. They sat towards the front of the theater as the rest of the team came in. Jill walked in giggling with one of the other players, Riley saw that she had a few hickeys on her neck and Riley laughed and whispered to Leah. “Seems like someone had fun at the party last night.” Leah cleared her throat knowing exactly what had happened, and who gave Jill the hickeys. Katie laughed loud and announced. “Oi Rood, nice neck! Russo sure as shit marked you up.” Riley clenched her jaw and looked down. The meeting and subsequent team dinner was wasted on Riley, she barely paid attention and disappeared without saying bye to any of the girls. She went for a walk after she got home, she walked all the way to the local football field and started running trying to keep her tears from falling.

They had not spoken since that night and there was no instance where they ran into each other either being in two different cities. The night before they were to play each other both were in London getting ready to play at the Emirates. At the Arsenal and Manchester United game Alessia warmed up with the team and continued glancing at her ex friend. Riley was phenomenal in the midfield, she had a game awareness that most 21 year olds would kill for. Riley had worked her ass off the whole game, there wasn’t much else that she could do when the rest of her team was playing below their best. Alessia watched on in amazement at how far the other members of the good peeps had come. Ella and Lotte were fantastic but Riley was on another level. It was clear how frustrated Riley was as the game got closer to the end, she was starting to make almost reckless tackles leading to Katie Zelem to get in her face, all Riley gave back was a smirk as she took her yellow card. Alessia collected the ball from Ella in the midfield and began heading towards goals, she could hear someone running up beside her but before she could process what had happened she was on her ass and a whistle was blown. Alessia looked up to see that Riley and Katie Zelem were face to face again both pushing each other. “Maybe if she could actually take a tackle and not fall over every second she’d be able to handle herself in this league.” Riley yelled at Katie, she was quickly pulled back by Leah to avoid anything else happening. “Get up Alessia, this is the big leagues now, not some backwater college competition.” Alessia was quick to her feet and storming over to Riley. “What is your issue? Still fucking hung up on me?” Alessia bit back at Riley who tried to lunge at her. The referee gave Riley a red. “Off you go, you need to go to the changerooms.” Riley clenched her jaw and grabbed her shin guards as she walked off the field.

Riley got back to the change rooms and sat in front of her locker. She kept her head down holding back the tears. She showered and got changed into her training gear. When the girl’s re-entered the changeroom they avoided Riley, even Leah couldn’t speak to Riley because of her actions. Riley was ripped through by her coach, she nodded knowing that she had gone too far. “I will meet you at home.” Riley said coldly to Leah as she walked out to her car. There was a local bar nearby that she would frequent when she had a bad game. She sat at a booth with her beer as she watched the people enjoy themselves.

Suddenly she saw a bunch of familiar faces, the Manchester United girls were celebrating their last game for the year as well as their win. Riley kept her head down as she got another drink, the United girls were loud and dancing together. Riley sat back in her booth finishing her fifth drink, she decided that them being so joyful was punishment for her behaviour. Alessia recognised the lone figure in the booth and felt the rage from the game rise in her. She stormed over and slammed her drink on the table. “You calmed down yet? Or are you here to start another fight?” Riley didn’t bother raising her head. “Alessia, honestly fuck off. Go call Jill, she probably misses you.” Alessia leant down and said into Riley’s ear. “Don’t pretend you aren’t jealous. We both know you wish it was you that I marked you up.” Riley stood face to face with Alessia. “Oh please. You would have imagined me that night. We have a fight and you need a fuck to get me out of your head.” Riley snapped back at Alessia. The blonde swallowed and looked at the brunette in front of her, Riley grabbed onto Alessia’s shirt, the striker praying that maybe she would kiss her. Instead Riley pushed Alessia back so she could leave, she stumbled past the Manchester United players and turned to Alessia. “It’s not hard to hook up with someone, Russo.” She turned and kissed Ella deeply, Riley pulled back and walked out of the bar towards a cab. Ella stood there stunned as Alessia raced out of the bar following Riley. She grabbed her wrist and turned her around. “You really are an asshole.” Alessia grabbed onto Riley’s shirt. “You are so frustrating! When I saw you in the park it all came back, all the feelings, all the good and the bad.” Alessia was close to tears as she spoke to Riley. “Alessia, I loved you. With everything I had and you still left.” Riley looked at Alessia, she had never been so vulnerable. Alessia pulled Riley against her and kissed her deeply, trying to put as much love as she could in the kiss, but Riley pulled back and almost fell over some bins. She began crying and rushed off to the waiting cab. Alessia stood there watching the cab pull away.

Chapter 2

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