#I blame the Hannibal fandom for this idea

[teastainedprose]

🔞Gash (Cooper Howard / The Ghoul x Reader)

You've been stabbed and The Ghoul means to patch you up, save for the problem of a metal shard lost in the wound. 1,435 words | This is smut if wound fingering counts. All about pain and looking at Cooper's stupid pretty face and PAIN and Cooper's finger in an open wound, pet names, wound cleaning, blood, more pain. No proofreading, take it raw bb. I blame @ghoulphile for egging me on. [A03]

Luck was with the man who managed to sheath his knife into your gut. Luck protected you as he missed puncturing anything important, only slicing meat and fat. Luck would have Cooper right there moments later putting a bullet through the bastard's brains as his luck promptly ran out. Lucky to have the old ghoul catch you before you crumpled to the ground.

Lady Luck was having a fucking field day. That bitch.

Your thoughts swirl, snagging on the present. You're trying to keep your mind set off to the side, away from your body. Away from the burning wet pain of your seeping wound, but it tugs you right back. Your body demands that you feel this, the gaping wound in your gut a wrongness your breakable mortal form insists you can't ignore.

Blood leaks down your hip as you groan from the press of Cooper's fingers around the gaping flesh of the gash in your side to take proper stock of it. Beside you on the table rests the knife you'd been stabbed with, save for the tip. That's currently buried in your guts. The blade is a rusty thing, old and brittle. The thought of that extra bit of metal swimming about inside you sits ill. Your vision blurs, a queasiness rolling over as your head rolls to the side.

Cooper notices your far away gaze, pausing in his inspection to clasp your chin in his glove covered fingers. The ones that are thankfully not covered in your blood. The other hand prodding at your flesh has bare fingers, calloused texture a distant pleasantry. He'd yanked that glove off with his teeth. Skin to bloody skin now. How intimate. 

"Now, dove." The words are a soft puff of breath against your cheek as you refocus. "Keep them pretty eyes open for me now." His attention shifts back to your wound while do as commanded.

"Stuck you real good, girlie." Cooper murmurs, eyes hooded from your inspection at this angle. He continues to mind your wound, bare fingers tracing your abdomen as if to feel from the outside where the rusty intrusion is. "Gonna hav'ta clean it proper. Needin' to dig the tip out."

All you can do is nod absently, drinking in every detail of his face. His black-as-night lashes are clearly visible this close, looking as pretty as can be. They add extra shadow to the sunken hollow about his eyes. He glances up, the swirling deep forest green and brown of his gaze catching you. You suck in a breath as Cooper's nail catches on the cut.

Teeth snap shut with a click as you bare them at Cooper. He smirks right back at you. He knows it hurts, but there's no helping it. All you can do is grimace and bear it while trying to divert your attention from the throbbing in your abdomen.

Your study of him is your current distraction. It's working well enough, mind content to catalogue the sharp lines of his face as you sit there panting quietly. There's the detached burn of alcohol as he dabs your wound with a soaked cloth, pulling a shiver across your skin in response.

Focus. Focus on the face of The Ghoul intently working. How there's the rough texture of his ravaged skin before your eyes. His skin is rusty in color, an earthy shade. It reminds you of the red clay from your long-abandoned home. His skin is just as baked and cracked as that dirt was. A delicious contrast to the richer red of his lips. Funny how he looks all sorts of dried up, but you know those lips to be softer than expected. Soft and pliant when pressed against your own with the wet press of his tongue darting out and-

You curse as your thoughts shatter into sharp glass, body instinctively lurching away from what hurts you. Cooper snatches your thigh, fingers digging in as he holds you steady.

"Now, now. Easy there, dove." His eyes flick to your face again. He's got a finger crooked into the gash. It feels wrong. "Told you I need to get that piece out. Breath, nice and easy."

You inhale. His head cants to the side as he waits. You exhale. Cooper nods as his finger digs deeper into the wound, feeling about. You swear he just brushed viscera with a fingertip.

It makes you dizzy, feeling his finger rooting around in the open wound as he tries to nudge out the knife bit. Forceps would have been a good idea, maybe some pliers? Something thinner than Cooper's gnarled fingers. You've memorized those digits intimately, but never expected to know them here. In your fucking guts.

It hurts. Of course it fucking does, but it's a wrong sort of pain. The sensation keeps flipping your stomach over and over. You want to empty the contents of it, but know that'll hurt worse with the state you're in.  Your eyes lose focus as Cooper clicks his tongue. 

"Focus. Eyes on me like I said, darlin'." He waits a beat as you blink, refocus. "Attagirl," his tone is even and coaxing, trying to keep you calm as if you're a startled brahmin. His finger continues to root around in your open wound, feeling for that stray bit of metal.

There's a twisted sort of intimacy in having Cooper's fingers delving into the wound, a sick parody of what else he's buried in you on better days.

You moan, a low sound pulled deep from within you involuntarily. It hurts.

"Now dove... That ain't the sort of cooing you should be makin' right now,'' amusement laces his words as he studies your face. His finger goes still to let you settle. It takes a moment, adjusting to the intrusion because his finger has sunk deeper. Your body is trying to reject the invasion, nerves flaring up with clear alarm.

You huff in response, shooting Cooper a sour look as a tremor runs through your strained body. It's not your fault your pain sounds are similar to the ones you make when he's rutting into you. He shakes his head, smiling to himself as Cooper gets back to work.

"Can feel it at my fingertip, jus' let me-" The digging is a burning invasion now as he presses deeper, finger crooking. You can feel the tug of something else scraping your insides as you suck in a sudden breath. He catches that bit of rusty metal, tugs and then it's over.

Cooper holds up the metal shard in front of your face with a yellow grin. "Got it."

You promptly drop your forehead against his shoulder with a whine. Blood leaks sluggishly from the wound now.

"There, there. I gotcha, dove. Now, you let me clean you up proper." His gloved hand rubs your back briefly before he gently sets you upright. Cooper is quicker to clean out the wound, caring little for how the alcohol he pours directly on it burns as he flushes it out. It's almost a welcomed sensation after the nausea induced fingering he'd just been up to.

He pauses, considering a moment before Cooper pops the same bloody finger he'd just had inside of you into his mouth. You can only watch in a detached way, pain keeping you pacified as Cooper makes sure to lick his hand clean of your blood.

"Disgusting," you sigh. It's half-hearted. You've seen him ingest far worse. 

"What? I'm a ghoul, sweetheart," he smirks. "Figure only way I'm gonna get a taste of that."

"Can you please fucking get me that Stimpak already?"

He tuts while wiping his hand clean of your blood on a spare rag before obliging. Cooper smoothly jabs the needle directly above your wound without warning, earning a hiss from you but your resentment instantly melts away.

This time you moan in pleasure, soothed as the endorphins rush your system in a cooling wave of comfort. A detached floaty feeling settles over you instantly as you relax, eyes drifting shut. A content smile settles on your lips while Cooper busies himself properly bandaging up your wound and wiping away the excess blood. His fingers linger, the bare ones ghosting up your side as a tremor runs through you for a wholly different reason now.

Slowly, you open your eyes again as you once more slump into his warmth. The scent of leather, gunpowder and something uniquely him fill your nostrils as you inhale.

"Better, dove?"

"Mhhm," You hum in contentment.

"That's my girl," He purrs as he hooks an arm about your waist and gently tugs you closer. "Now how's about we see about thankin' me proper for saving your sorry ass?"

#Cooper Howard x Reader #The Ghoul x Reader #Fallout #Fallout fanfic #fallout writing #The Ghoul #Cooper Howard #it's gore gore gooreee #I still feel like I wrote smut tho!?!? #squint and this is actually about taking his HUGE GHOUL CO- / gets shot #He'd get off to this shit #I blame the Hannibal fandom for this idea #Ghoul pretty #Ghoul encoraging~ #x reader #drabble

[roleplaylogs]

RP Hunt!

Hello! Long time no see. I’m back in the world of searching for roleplay partners now my life has calmed down a little and I have a lovely work from home job. I currently have one long term writing partner (writing together for probably about 4 years now… jeez) but I’d love to expand my horizons. I’ve done these call-out posts before but if you’ve commented/sent me a message before and I haven’t responded due to my own inactivity, please get back in touch! I’d love to chat and do trials with as many people as possible.

For my preferences, I am 25 so I definitely will not write with anyone under 18 (though I prefer 21+ just so I don’t feel so old). I tend to be an email role player these days but I’m probably going to kickstart my Discord again so am more than happy to write there.

I am fine with NSFW and dark themes as long as everything is discussed beforehand. I always have my own plot ideas but love it when my partner is into planning things out too. I can RP in text format and also literate, my responses tend to be between 1-3 paragraphs but I am happy to match length. Creative writing is a hobby for me and now I have time I’d love to flex my writing skills again.

Here are the fandoms and ships I’m currently searching for. The characters I write are in bold and I’ve put an asterisk next to those I am particularly interested in.

Marvel:

Stucky - Steve Rogers/James Barnes

Stony - Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Bishova - Kate Bishop/Yelena Belova

Stevetasha - Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff

Winteriron - Loki/Tony Stark

(I am open to most marvel ships/multi shipping, so try me if you have any of your own ideas)

Hannigram - Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham

Harry Potter:

Drarry - Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Dramione - Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger (a new one for me but I just finished reading Manacled so blame that)

Wolfstar - Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (another new one I am interested in exploring)

Good Omens:

Aziraphale/Crowley

Sherlock:

Mormor - Jim Moriarty/Sebastian Moran

Sherstrade - Sherlock Holmes/Greg Lestrade

Sheriarty - Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty

Hamish Watson-Holmes/Alexander Moran-Moriarty

And I think that’s it! DM me, or leave a note and I’ll send you a message and we can chat. Thank you for reading.

#roleplay #sherlock #sherlock rp #mormor rp #mormor #hannigram #Hannigram rp #drarry rp #dramione rp #Dramione #drarry #Harry potter rp #good omens rp #ineffable husbands roleplay #ineffable husbands rp #marvel rp #Stucky rp #bishova rp #rp search #rp #discord rp

[palant1r]

Between light and mikami, who would u say is worse

ooo interesting question! "worst" is a metric with such a wide variety of interpretations, so i'm gonna put forward a few definitions...

Least fun to hang out with at a party: Mikami, no doubt. He's the most boring person alive. Light is a charismatic person who's very good at acting personable and feigning interest in others, so I feel like he'd be a pretty fun acquaintance to have, even if he never lets anyone beneath the surface

Least fun to actually be close friends with, at least for me: Light. It would be like being friends with an incredibly sophisticated chatbot — all the right responses, but you can't get a peek at what actually makes him tick without a 400 IQ and 3 separate terminal degrees, plus years of hannibal-level psychoanalysis. But I could be friends with Mikami. I'm actually a bit of a law nerd — the kind of person who got tickets to a conference about public document requests for fun — so while we wouldn't be able to make small talk, I feel like once we got to know each other we could have some autistic ass conversations about court precedent. Also I could use a gym buddy.

Most net negative impact on the world: I mean, Light, obviously

Most pleasure taken in atrocities: Light. Mikami doesn't actually seem to take much personal pleasure in killing beyond his worship of Kira. Light, meanwhile, despite his self-justification of just wanting to make a good world, looooves to vindictively gloat over victims, even those that aren't those he thinks of as "criminals." See: L, Raye Penber, Near

Least coherent moral code: Mikami. His moral code is just like. Some religion he duct taped together out of a bunch of coincidences and terminal cop brain, plus a heavy dose of inexplicable cultural christianity despite not being culturally christian. Which makes it all the more baffling that he's apparently able to hold coherent conversations about politics. Light's own situation may be a middle schooler's first introduction to deontology and consequentalism, but at least it's something

Most aggravating moral code: Light. Man, I fucking hate the way this guy thinks about the world, because it's eerily similar to shit I see IRL. It's the idea of a moral code that exists fully to justify oneself as Good, cruelty justified through hatred of a so-called "evil," assuming that bad people are an ontological class that can be eliminated with no consequences and society will improve as a result. There are people who deadass believe this shit. I've compared Light tongue-in-cheek to Republicans in a fic before, but honestly I see it in leftist spaces all the time — just replace "criminals" with "billionaires." Hating the "bad people" and wanting them gone is such a convenient way for people to deny systemic injustice and their own role in it. And of course, as long as one defines oneself as "good," one gives themself free rein to eliminate opposition with righteous vindication. It's a mindset that's not unique to Light Yagami, he's just unique in the power he wields to enact it. It's the reason that, while as a Light Yagami Enjoyer I would never judge someone for loving Light Yagami, I tend to side-eye the side of the fandom that unironically argues Kira was right. I need to cut myself off before I go on my full anti-Kira rant...

Worst in bed: I'm not entirely confident Mikami knows what sex is.

Worst at being Kira: Light, by default — it was his own damn fault they lost, though he tried to blame Mikami. Hell, if he hadn't insisted on gloating in the warehouse, he might even have talked his way out of that situation. After all, it made sense for him to be the owner — someone in the task force had to be, and I'm pretty sure it's actually a plot hole that Mikami could see Aizawa's name. It wouldn't have convinced the SPK and Aizawa, but it would have given Ide and Mogi hesitation and Matsuda would certainly have been convinced. "But Mikami should have checked the notebook again before coming to the warehouse and it's stupid that he didn't—" HE WAS BEING CONTROLLED OK I 100% THINK MATSUDA IS RIGHT ABOUT THIS because otherwise both near and mikami's characters are assassinated in the final chapter more brutally than JFK and i do have a bit of respect for O&O as writers lmao. Mikami played his part perfectly. If he'd been the one to find the first notebook, I think he would have lasted longer than Light, simply because he wouldn't decide to do all the galaxy brain plays to get close to L.

#death note #ask #light yagami #teru mikami

[titleleaf]

What are the Bad Hannigram Takes you're encountering? I watched the show but never got too involved in the fandom so I am fascinated

Oh god I'm so sorry, I have no idea how coherent any of this will be if you haven't dipped into the fandom and even for my part I've been mainly watching and reading from afar but hereeeee... are my thoughts. Disclaimer that YMMV, let people have fun, etc., but I am a gigantic hater.

[fandom negativity and a leetle canon-related negativity behind the cut: if for whatever reason you don't want to hear me bitching about people being Wrong On The Internet About A TV Show keep scrolling, mute me, block me, whatever]

Character-specific tunnel vision where Hannibal is the center of the universe -- not just in the sense that he's, yk, the title character of the show and the most memorable character created by Thomas Harris but in the sense that all characters are evaluated by how much they support or obstruct Hannibal's God-given right to do whatever he wants to anybody ever. And my God, it is so, so boring.

Nothing is ever Hannibal's fault, either. Delicate use of the exonerative passive voice — oh it's so sad, Will was framed, Beverly was murdered, Abigail was killed, but by whom? Hard to say! Especially funny when people whip this out regarding shit even Hannibal plainly regrets, like framing Will and then not having Will to hang out with. In general downplaying Hannibal's agency is such a weird move with a character who takes so much pleasure in doing what he wants. "To what extent are people a product of their external influences and life traumas, to what extent is Hannibal capable of not killing" is a whole other conversation but it's just a very odd reading of the character and the show as a text.

Nothing is ever Hannibal's fault, because it's actually the fault of... [scans crowd] that woman over there! Weird misogyny, often overlapping with the above (bc boy howdy, the list of women who Hannibal kills, maims, tortures, or otherwise fucks over is not short — Abigail, Alana, Bella, Beverly, Bedelia, Miriam, Margot, Georgia… I guess Freddie makes it out okay?) but sometimes seemingly just because, or to exonerate Hannibal of all blame for his own actions toward Will, as if this is the kind of show where it’s vitally important our blorbos be morally pure. Like… I’m sorry but I don’t think this is the show for you if that’s the case. People are really weird about Alana, people are really really weird about Bedelia, people are turbo weird about Molly... I'm sure there are people out there being weird about Chiyoh but I haven't encountered them yet, and I feel like there's some uhhhh other factors in play there too.

Baffling ship war stuff even once the canon's long since finished airing. I'm a big multishipper for this fandom so the weird competitive approach where Will and Hannibal's love must be the only real love (or even the only real erotic desire) they've either ever experienced ever is really off-putting. Showrunner Word of God here regarding Will's sexual orientation is in itself a take that annoys me, as a humorless bisexual man, but this is more commonly expressed via weird not-joking "jokes" about how the only reason Hannibal would ever have sex with a woman would be as an elaborate ruse (and how she'd deserve it for being stupid enough to believe he'd be into women) or how Hannibal's a better wife to Will than Molly ever could be. Dude... relax... your pairing has a literal love theme like a 1990s erotic thriller, why are you this insecure. People will do this with characters who don't even appear in the show! Now why is Clarice in it???? I need people to just be normal.

Nice polite sweet tea-sippin' Southern boy Will, and his equally annoying twin brother, Will with an inexplicable and phonetically-rendered Southern accent. 50% me being an extremely sensitive buzzkill about how the text presents Will's childhood and how the romanticized vision of the American South people draw on is superficial and rooted in white supremacist nostalgia, 50% me being a person who can hear Hugh Dancy speak dialogue in a television show and recognize basic American regional accents.

General... accrued fanon, I guess? All the tropes and memes and fandom in-jokes and fandom characterizations that build on one another to the point where their relationship to the show as a text (or to the novels, for that matter) is pretty damn tenuous.

In general, and while I know where this is coming from as a lover of dark stories/horror media/dark and destructive love stories who’s gotten flak for all of that: people getting so defensive about shipping something ~*~*~*problematique~*~* that they take other people talking about the things that textually make their dynamic fucked up (even if they’re talking about those things as something they like or something they enjoy exploring with the canon) as an attack or a sign somebody's Interrogating The Text From The Wrong Perspective. I think the show itself has some narrative weaknesses that lend themselves to this kind of fandom circlejerk but please... please Lord... I just want to write about a really weird guy getting his dick stepped on whilst classical music plays and having the time of his life, why is everyone doing this to me

On the much more benign end of things, “Will is totally normal average everyman while Hannibal is weird and pretentious and fruity” bc it just makes them sitcom parents. Show!Will is a weird fucking guy in his own right! They're both weird! And they're in love!

#tumblr... i am not going to add tags to help people find this post i am THIS close to censoring everyone's names like i'm on tiktok #ska watches a thing

[measuringbliss]

Glee Rewatch Masterpost

Hi, this post serves as introduction and as masterpost to my ongoing Glee Rewatch. I watched the show once before (during the first half of 2022) and I already missed it a month later, hence the idea to not only rewatch it, but give my thoughts on each episodes in individual posts. My thoughts range from simple opinions (you'll see a lot of me gushing on outfits) to full-on analysis (why is there a French cabaret poster on the wall?) but it's all very not serious. I don't delve much (at all? for now?) into the real-life stuff since I'm still new to the fandom and everyone probably already knows everything about everything.

Written on October 1st, 2022.

Season 1

Just finished writing for the first episode!

Finn is cute in Glee 1x08 after being slushied

Glee: Grilled Cheesus

Pilot | Showmance | Acafellas | Preggers | The Rhodes Not Taken

Vitamin D | Throwdown | Mash-Up | Wheels | Ballad | Hairography

Mattress | Sectionals | Hell-O | The Power of Madonna

Home | Bad Reputation | Laryngitis | Dream On

Theatricality | Funk | Journey

Rocky Horror Picture Show references in Glee

Glee is avant-garde

Season 2

Audition | Britney/Brittany | Grilled Cheesus | Duets

Rocky Horror Glee Show | Never Been Kissed | The Substitute

Furt | Special Education | A Very Glee Christmas

The Sue Sylvester Shuffle | Silly Love Songs | Comeback

Blame It On The Alcohol | Sexy | Original Song | A Night of Neglect

Born This Way | Rumours | Prom Queen | Funeral | New York

Intermission

The Glee Concert Movie

Season 3

The Purple Piano Project | I Am Unicorn | Asian F | Pot o' Gold

The First Time | Mash Off | I Kissed a Girl | Hold on to Sixteen

Extraordinary Merry Xmas | Yes/No | Michael

The Spanish Teacher | Heart | On My Way | Big Brother

Saturday Night Glee-ver | Dance with Somebody | Choke

Prom-asaurus | Props | Nationals | Goodbye

Glee: Sebastian, Seblaine and Kurtbastian

Thinking again about Cruel Intentions and the Glee CI!AU Seblaine fic and why is Blaine as Annette so great????

Season 4

The New Rachel | Britney 2.0 | Makeover | The Break-Up

The Role You Were Born to Play | Glease | Dynamic Duets

Thanksgiving | Swan Song | Glee, Actually | Sadie Hawkins

Naked | Diva | I Do | Girls (and Boys) on Film | Feud

Guilty Pleasures | Shooting Star | Sweet Dreams

Lights Out | Wonder-ful | All or Nothing

Season 5

Love Love Love | Tina in the Sky with Diamonds

The Quarterback | A Katy or A Gaga | The End of Twerk

Movin' Out | Puppet Master | Previously Unaired Christmas

Frenemies | Trio | City of Angels | 100 | New Directions

New New York | Bash | Tested | Opening Night | The Back-Up Plan

Old Dogs, New Tricks | The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

Season 6

Loser Like Me | Homecoming | Jagged Little Tapestry

The Hurt Locker, Part One | Part Two | What the World Needs Now

Transitioning | A Wedding | Child Star

The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester | We Built This Glee Club

2009 | Dreams Come True

Glee's iconic moments

Fandoms before and nowadays: Glee compared to Buffy and Hannibal

#glee #masterpost #rewatch

[tabbycallieao3favs]

The Voices and the Shadows (114625 words) by MaddyHughes, darlinghogwarts

Chapters: 36/36 Fandom: Hannibal (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter Characters: Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Matthew Brown (Hannibal), Jack Crawford, Dr. Frederick Chilton, Alana Bloom, Franklyn Froideveaux, Bedelia Du Maurier, Abel Gideon Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, student!Will, Teacher!Hannibal, Drunk!Will, Manipulative!Hannibal, Murder, Birthday Sex, Love Triangles, Murder Threesome, romcom cliches, Vivisection, Jealousy, Fluff and Angst, serial killers in love, Fanboy Will Graham, Will Graham's Dogs - Freeform, Chesapeake Ripper, Hannibal is the Chesapeake Ripper, Jack Crawford is Pretty Much a Dick, Everyone Hates Chilton, Will is in Love with the Chesapeake Ripper, Is Hannibal Jealous Of Himself?, Human Heart Recipe Ideas, Breaking the Kitchen Table, let's get you out of those wet clothes, Hannibal's red sweater, Will Graham In A Bath, Hannibal Cooks, Will Graham Wears Hannibal's Clothes, Sex On The Kitchen Table, Yes That Kitchen Table Is BoConcept, Don't Refuse Dinner With A Cannibal, Will Graham Is Sweaty, Will Graham Has Nightmares, Will Graham Has SEXY Nightmares, Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter In A Bath, Hannibal wants to eat Will, Hannibal Keeps Telling Will That He Is The Ripper But Will Is Totally Oblivious, The Only Survivor of the Chesapeake Ripper, I Blame The Hypnodick, Murder As A Metaphor For Sex, Hannibal Lecter Sexts, Cannibalism Puns, Footsie, Will Graham And A Knife, Light Bondage, Bloodplay, dark!Will, Heartbreak, Franklyn Froideveaux: Love Guru, Christmas Party, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Eve, Christmas, Love Actually Except With Cannibals Summary: “The Chesapeake Ripper? The serial killer? That's a grisly thing to find at the bottom of a drink. Most people say oblivion …or possibly sex.” Hannibal sips his wine again. “Why are you thinking about a murderer on your birthday, Will? Is it part of your degree?”   “He is a part of my degree by my own choice. My supervisor didn’t approve, but…” He sighs. “I insisted.” AU where Will—a Masters student studying the Chesapeake Ripper—gets drunk on his birthday and meets an intriguing man at the bar.

#hanibal

[aronarchy]

ok so I finished watching The Fall a few months (you can find my earlier ramble abt it somewhere on my blog, also tagged #the fall tv) tho I’ve been too low on spoons to finish writing this out properly until now

I’m remembering better now about how I first got into it--the Hannibal subreddit or the Killing Eve subreddit where TF was recommended as ~same genre fascinating serial killer + detective very obsessed with each other deep psychological things~ and at the time I was still very much into a terminally-shipping-brained phrase so I think for the first half of the show while I was watching I just mostly turned off analysis in favor of thinking “this is interesting/hot”/“the main characters are attracted to each other”/“when will get together” (which looking back I can’t really relate to at all anymore but idk)

I’m much more comfortable now in identifying the overall political leaning of the show as radical feminist. It’s not even about the somewhat-possibly-slightly-creator-endorsed misandrist personal feelings of the main character (Stella) which are mentioned/implied a few times, or the few bioessentialist jokes(?) made once or twice, but the overall plot itself. Radfems don’t like hearing this, but radical feminism has major parallels/overlaps with mainstream liberal feminism in their ideas & logical flow & philosophical roots (i.e. both offshoots & enablers of conservative patriarchy, relying on immaterialism/essentialism). Here it was mainly the complete utter lack of intersectionality, the iffy depiction of some misogynistic violence (particularly the attribution to essential traits), and the lack of solutions to misogynistic violence that would involve actually changing currently existing power structures.

The Fall does extremely well in introducing multiple feminist points (impacts of patriarchal culture in the workplace, mostly refusing to validate victim-blaming, etc.; does well showing the institutional barriers Stella faces in her job, how she cannot have control of her own work decisions because of how the power is structured, regardless of what she does, and injustices she experiences are baked into how it was built). It also does well in portraying assaults and murders with sexual motives which did not contain sexual acts (as in acts which are sexual in and of themselves by mechanical components) as no less severe/“actually bad” than outright more obviously sexual assaults. But when getting to the more difficult bits, it falters. (I wouldn’t say its perspective is bad per se, just limited.)

Had some disconnected thoughts wrt its depictions of patriarchal power imbalances and abuse stemming from there (i.e. Paul being a therapist and exploiting that to take advantage of his sexual assault victim without her knowing, arguably an antipsych point if you have a lot of faith in the show directors’ scope of knowledge/background).

As the show progresses, we learn more and more about Paul’s Fascinatingly Abnormal Unique Dark Psychology and his Tragic Backstory. His assaults are always presented as ritualistic, mysterious, incomprehensible, so far out of the norm that they could not actually occur in real life, deviant, thrilling, a spectacle. Because The Fall, while trying to introduce progressive political feminist messages in an area which hasn’t had much like it before, also at the same time still tries to cater to the crime-drama fandom (and, like all serial-killer stories before it, to satisfy the audience’s hunger for drama and bloodlust and fascinating monsters to analyze and pick apart).

So on one hand you see it promoting the concept that all acts of misogynistic violence exist on an escalating continuum, all attributable to various cultural factors of the patriarchy; how normal cis male entitlement/culturally ingrained beliefs about men’s right to women’s autonomy (i.e. James Tyler), domestic violence (i.e. Liz’s story), casual(-but-still-severe-and-should-be-taken-seriously) sexual harassment (i.e. Jim @ Stella), and general misogynistic biases and discrimination (i.e. the constant hurdles Stella has to go through in a very male-dominated workplace) are. Arguably it even touches on the therapist-patient power imbalance leading to abuse. That any man (of the privileged demographics the show chose to depict) is capable of such beliefs and actions, including the drastic ones usually deemed “abnormal” and “would never happen to me/come from someone like him” (i.e. Stella telling Anderson about how many women she knew were afraid of men because they might kill them whereas men told her they were afraid of women because they might laugh at them), including normal everyday men you know. That to fight sexual violence we have to fight patriarchal culture.

Yet The Fall abandons this principle when it comes to Paul, and general discussions and speculations about the possible perpetrator of his crimes before they knew his identity. A man who commits the Actually Severe Extreme murders must have fascinating abnormalities in order to be capable of wanting to do so/doing so. Must have a laundry list of kinks and paraphilias and fictional/artistic/pornographic interests, must fantasize hard about it 24/7 since the age of twelve, must have overpowering ✨urges✨ to do it that he finally acts on only because he failed to resist their temptation, much have a tragic childhood backstory of extreme trauma that led to him developing such feelings and dramatically nihilistic misanthropic views, a Very Fascinating Mysterious Philosophy that surrounding women become closer to him with by learning. Must select his victims based on how sexually attractive they are to him, how well they fit his preferred physical “type” because of course it has to all be pretty and palatable (and white).  He must be “sociopathic” and “narcissistic” and “lack empathy/love/caring for women” and overall inhuman, impossible to understand. Stella might’ve made one comment to Jim about Paul’s actions fitting the expected results of patriarchal socialization and material conditions, sure, but that doesn’t particularly match up with the rest of the show’s attempted depiction.

We know there are harmful stereotypes about male CSA survivors supposedly being so much more likely to “continue the cycle of abuse” and CSA perpetrators only being able to want to commit CSA because they must’ve been abused themselves too. This, as per the rest of normative society’s view on CSA, once again, flattens the issue of sexual violence prevention into “uwu let’s ~help~ these poor uwu sad pitiful abused lost souls so they don’t Repeat The Cycle society failed perpetrators by not helping them before they did it because CSA perpetration is just a mental health issue uwu.” Constant complaints even from MC & everyone endorsed by MC about Paul’s “deviance,” that his acts and thoughts and feelings are bad because they’re “deviant” and “abnormal,” implying they were right to call kink practices Wrong because they’re Weird and everyone opposing was just manipulated into believing sexual assault is ok and holds mystical value (i.e. Katie). Iffy conclusions to be drawn from his replies during Stella’s interrogation regarding Olivia (is he a Real Misogynist or not? he’s certainly an adultist--see how he treated Katie and what he constantly said to her about her age and “immaturity” to pressure her into doing what he wanted--fundamentals of his beliefs remain the same even if it’s someone he would personally care about, IRL they don’t tend to be able to compartmentalize as well. Were his femicides motivated by misogyny or were they just coincidental results of his biology which just happened to give him a sex drive oriented toward women?)

I do admit it hit a bit hard when the psych essentially offered Paul the familiar para therapy (practicing distinguishing thought from intent/action, we can treat you & reduce your impulses & offending etc). But unfortunately it also plays into the whole narrative of “all biastophiles experience horrible uncontrollable urges and need help to not offend all offenders just needed ‘biasto therapy’ help to prevent them from offending.” And that several points of his character were Very Relatable (to me), but so were several points of Stella’s, and I know many real people who do not fit any of the show’s predicted profiles of biastophiles or rapists/sexual abusers. And (I’m not sure if this was intentional or not), but the arc of the show from there shows precisely what is wrong with that proposal: he can simply choose to not use those offered tools if he doesn’t feel like it; even if he knows “how” to not be violent, he just doesn’t want to.

No one’s dissecting the possible neurotypes or paraphilias or even sexual attractions at all of James Tyler, or Jim Burns, or any of the other misogynistic harassers/assaulters/abusers (or misogynists in general) depicted in the show, no, reserve the ~fascination~ just for the man who was a walking stranger-danger archetype, trying to built a cohesive “profile” of A Sexual Predator in the way all cops & adjacents/extensions thereof do, that Profile always leaving out themselves as possible violent actors, or just in general people the predator has direct legitimized authority over as possible victims (in this case, his wife and kids).

I’m also unsure if audience was intended to view the psych ward’s practices as violent/abusive, the police’s interrogations & prisons’ practices as violent/abusive (I read them that way, but given how much libs internalize shit I wouldn’t be surprised if the directors and/or most viewers genuinely thought all of that was okay). In particular the treatment of women who weren’t even perpetrators of much in particular experienced the worst violence from the cops (Sally Ann being held for an extended period of time and aggressively interrogated on flimsy pretexts but it was totally fine because the cops used the information to win in the end /s; and particularly, the treatment of Katie).

Katie’s horrendous treatment rhymed w/how general misogyny and adultism and the criminalization of survivors operate broadly: the erasing of any possible nuance, villainizing her, cops stalking her for days/weeks on end while she was at home doing her business (but it was justified because it led to them winning in the end!!! /s), being interrogated harshly & aggressively, being forced to live with a parent she was uncomfortable with by the court, being locked up for her actions which resulted from years of mental health difficulties as she had a shit home life and being continuously manipulated, threatened, and assaulted by a violent serial sexual predator for months on end.

Instead of simply cutting off her incentive by getting rid of her abuser, they go for her, arrest her, and Anderson has the audacity to say she’s “right to kick out at authority [because she’s At That Age]” while being a literal fucking cop interrogating her and clearly not holding to that principle in any meaningful material way, then she gets locked up and still with no one to help her deconstruct what Paul indoctrinated her with or just teach her a general idea of consent and ability to feel self-worth which she needed and didn’t get (because locking up the dangerous juvenile crazies is just so much easier and less risky, right? /s), and the story ends with Stella’s selfishness & need for a Fascinating Chase and Closure (though she wasn’t even a victim of his) in the form of Official Proceedings Which Must Occur Because [essentialism + I’m white so I say so] (which led to further murders & assaults which could’ve otherwise been prevented and much more pain for Katie, policing is incredibly inefficient and does very little for survivors in practice) and Katie remaining trapped in a fucking prison without any way out or any possibility of getting out in the foreseeable future or any aid. Once again adultist paternalism & misogyny centering her as the one to lay blame/fault on, the horrific and detrimental consequences of grooming being exploited to push further state authoritarian agendas instead of the other way around.

The show was excellent, sure, but also if it attempted to decenter ~fascination~ and ~psychological tension~ in favor of less establishment-shilling and more realistic views of misogynistic violence and particularly showed more than one nonwhite person throughout the entire show, particularly the misogynistic violence faced by women and girls on the margins, then it would be forced to acknowledge that in real life the most horrific and Severe and Extreme and frequent and hidden and unaddressed sexual assaults & abuses & femicides are perpetrated by the cishet white men with the most social/political/economic power (i.e. politicians & the rich (none of whose existences were even hinted at throughout the entire story), the very cops the story holds up as worthy moral well-intentioned winners enacting justice, etc) and that the vast majority of victims are not strangers to the perpetrators but the women and girls in their lives whom they have direct legitimized authority over i.e. wives, children, patients, suspects, prisoners, that the brunt of the violence happens by them to them first and decreasing in scale and severity (on average) as you go down the chain (rather than the other way around, stranger danger being the worst and most violent/likely to result in death and acquaintance/authorities’ assault being the mildest thus we can reasonably maintain the cops’ authority to combat the stranger danger Where It’s Actually Needed).

#OP #recently viewed #media review #media critique #the fall tv #misogyny #feminism #radfeminism #white cisfeminism #adultism #victim-blaming #femicide #ramble

[stolligaseptember]

i can't even blame the hannibal fandom for going so hard on the a/b/o trope, because the show does have a very weird obsession with both will's ideas of fatherhood and his abdomen

#HIS SCAR FROM HANNIBAL'S VIVISECTION IS ALMOST IDENTICAL TO MARGOT'S FROM HER HYSTERECTOMY #LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and GOD the fact that margot's hysterectomy made him lose one child and hannibal's gutting made him lose another is............. #GOD!!!!!!!! IT'S ALL CONNECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! #so yeah. i honestly can't blame y'all for that one. #hannibal

[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

#bnha 326 #all might #yagi toshinori #stain (bnha) #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[waragainstyourfaith]

Thank you to @broughtmeyourlove for listening to the beginnings of this (aka when I first got my thoughts down) and thank you to me for saying all this in the shower but most importantly thank you @hannibalhadalittlelamb whose art got me to finally think deeper about the nature of Hannibal’s trial. Let’s begin.

Hannibal’s trial isn’t something I usually see discussed within the fandom space. And why would it be? We know the final verdict and we know that besides that everything works out in the end anyway. It’s an afterthought. So who would care? That’s like reading the first few chapters of a book to skip to the final one. Characters change and so does the story as a whole.

On @/hannibalhadalittlelamb’s post (here), their tags read that their depiction of Hannibal is leaning into OOC (out of character) territory. I disagree.

During Hannibal’s trial, we have to think about how it would have gone down. Actually. There was no possible way for Will to miss or be exempt from this trial. His coworkers and boss knew his strong relation to Hannibal and how their professional relationship had definitely, at some point or another, turned personal. The mutual attempts of murder had not been lost on anyone, but, of course, that made Will all the more personal a witness.

However, Will wants nothing to do with Hannibal.

I understand there is a popular theory going around that Will and Hannibal were in a sort of understanding during the trial, but, honestly? We see Will desperately wanting to remain kept away from Hannibal, to live a normal life with a wife and son. Hannibal throws a wrench into this whole ordeal and this trial, after what conspired between them overseas, leaves Will in the headspace and with the opportunity to quite literally never see Hannibal again in his life.

And after everything and with what Will thinks he wants, how could he deny that? Helping Hannibal rule into the insanity plea was not an act of mercy but an act of protection. Will more than anyone knows Hannibal should be kept under 24/7 surveillance and away from every person he could ever harm. Being ruled out of given the death penalty was the underlying bonus his conscience wouldn’t let him think too deeply about.

In court, you are sworn in on the bible, on God, to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth [...] So help you God.”. Both Will and Hannibal were undoubtedly sworn in, but considering the argument Hannibal’s legal team was using, would you trust a man under the insanity plea or his victim who is an FBI agent more? Right.

So, Will is given free rein in this courtroom to spin the story of him and Hannibal whichever way he pleases. Seeing what I mentioned before, Will is going to remove himself as far away from Hannibal as he can while still being able to confidentially and securely reveal everything without getting his hands dirty nor embarrassing himself. Hannibal does not get this luxury.

Hannibal is a man of his privacy. As many analyses have written and as many real psychologists have said while dissecting the headspace of Hannibal, his need to eat people is his need to control. The trauma Hannibal went through with Mischa, whether you know the depth of it or just the surface, is enough context to explain what happens next. Hannibal eats them. Attitude is Hannibal’s one basis of morals and consensus. “One should always eat the rude”.

To determine their fate and to consume them is him “playing God”, but at its core, it is Hannibal needing to be in control. We see the severity of his true, underlying, desperation come to light at a first glimpse with the gruesome death of Beverly Katz. Undoubtedly, this is one of his most haunting scenes and we see the insides(dissection) of Beverly as she had attempted to find in Hannibal by going through his home. By sneaking a glance under the person suit. His inner monster comes out in a rage during this murder. He is private and anything that anyone knows about Hannibal is what he has allowed them to live to be able to say so. Look at Will’s position once more.

What no one seems to realize is that, during this trial, Hannibal is not in control. Will is the spinster of their life, a life Hannibal used his truest of colors to paint, and ultimately watched it becomes torn to shreds in front of him. Remember, Will is sworn in during this trial. This does not necessarily mean he is telling the truth, but it means everyone thinks he is. It’s a play of tragedy and Hannibal and Will are the two lead star-crossed lovers.

The entirely of Hannibal and the world he has handed to Will on a sparkling platter is being dissected and shown to everyone. The story of the Chesapeake Ripper was undoubtedly massive. A criminal having not been caught for years that everyone seemed to know nothing about revealed to be one of the closest, inside links with the FBI themselves? Tale of the decade.

The spotlight is on Hannibal, but he is being puppeteered by Will without a say in it for himself.

Hannibal cracks as he’s poked and prodded and bare for the media to do as they like and Will sits by and says what he likes. Here is where we would see a sliver of what lays beneath their person suits. Hannibal’s impulsivity and monstrousness under his charming exterior and Will’s manipulative, isolatedness under his empathetic cloak.

We look at Hannibal. He would be torn to shreds from this. The porcelain pot that contains his beast has broken and shattered by the swatting hand of Will, someone he trusted and loved. The intruding eyes of the jury stay on him as he is diagnosed as insane while he considers himself to be in the best possible headspace he ever could be. Everything he told Will and what he considered truth from Will’s mouth was dismissed and disputed under oath.

Hannibal is embarrassed. People call him insane and lock him away at dig through his mind and his things without his permission with protruding needles and telescopes. Hannibal has to play nice to simply be allowed a working toilet and the books that he has collected himself. Anything and everything he writes and draws that he wants to send out is dissected and analyzed. He has no privacy. He is not allowed a toe out of line.

Looking back at Hannibal from season one, episode seven is a good one to compare from, and when we see him first after year years in isolation, we see plain as day these are not the same men. In season one, Hannibal is handsome and cunning enough so that he wiggles his way into the deepest, most protected parts of the FBI as one of the highest-ranked killers on their watch list. He is polite enough to even invite them to dinner and feed them the organs of his victims.

He’s slick and intelligent and Hannibal is the idea of a lifetime.

And then we come to the second half of season three.

Hannibal, at this point, has been isolated for three years and has been under painful scrutiny even longer. During this time, he’s had all the space he could get to rebuild the person suit, but the pieces won’t fit. It’s jaggedly put together and no matter how long he spends trying to perfect its construction to what it used to be, it isn’t what it used to be. Will had done that to him. Will had effectively broken Hannibal.

I see often the running gag that season three is immensely funnier and leaning much more into the comedy aspect of Hannibal during his interactions with Will and Alana and even jack to an extent. But this is not him being funny; this is Hannibal pushing limits.

Looking back to paragraph eleven [“To determine their fate and consume them…”] we come back to Hannibal’s need to control. Remember, in this space, Hannibal is shoved into line. He’s snappy and cynical here. This is Hannibal exercising his limits and testing patience. His acting out and making snide comments is nothing he can be punished for, but it clearly agitates them. Hannibal teeters just enough on the edge of annoyance so that his jabs still hit, but his privileges still remain.

This is his monster leaking through the cracks. Hannibal is desperate. He is grasping for a hold over these people he had looked down upon from his throne in the sky as God for so long. He is rude. This is both his shield and deception. It leaves Hannibal with the idea that he is effectively feeding them out of his hand, that he has them right where he wants them. When Hannibal does this, it is his last line of defense to keep himself from blowing up. Ruining it all.

Season three is not season one. He is gasping and hurt and that is what makes the Dolarhyde kill all the more powerful. The whiplash and bounce back with his and Will’s relationship is powerful and dangerous.

Will watching Hannibal with his dead stare, person suit thrown off the moment he decided to go with Hannibal into that car, as he is shot is groundbreaking. Hannibal can see Will. they have effectively switched positions. As though he were God, Will looks down on Hannibal’s suffering. When Will decides to fight Dolarhyde in retaliation,  this is the point it all cuts lose.

At that moment, Will has freed the beast. Hannibal has finally someone to take the reins of his monster whom he trusts. Because Hannibal never blamed Will, even during that time in his isolation, he was waiting. Waiting for Will because despite the betrayal and despite the hurt he loved him. All that time he loved him.

The Dolarhyde kill is the messiest one of the show, which makes it all the more powerful. Hannibal has--I don’t want to say “lost composure”--but he definitely has dropped the act of his togetherness. In this, Hannibal is free. So long he has spent trying to hold himself together, to fool those around him and take care of everyone and himself. 

It’s a common misconception that a person in a position of power, such as a CEO, would want to be in this position all of the time. In fact, it’s been shown that the human mind needs a healthy balance. A person who is pushed around on a day-to-day basis and has no control over their life would most likely enjoy having control over a person and vice versa.

God must be tired. Hannibal was. Wearing his person suit for years and years, with only a dangerous outlet to relieve the built-up tension of his monster. To place the control into Will’s hands is inevitable and the best relief for both of them. Hannibal in killing and Will in power.

In that final scene, Hannibal has surrendered control to Will while barring the entirety of what lay within and Will has a high enough apathy for this to no longer have any hold over him. They have switched their roles. Now, Will is the one pulling the strings and Hannibal is the one letting himself be maneuvered.

This trial was the turn of the tables. It was the biggest part of their character and the biggest foreshadowing for the finale.

In Florence, Hannibal has the hold over Will. In season two, Will has the hold over Hannibal. In season one, Hannibal has the hold over Will. This trial that has been left out was the missing piece to even their stance and to level their playing field, making it easiest for the two to blur.

The trial is effectively and consequently one of if not the most important scene that was missing from the show.

#takes a deep breath of relief #working on this all day in bits and pieces #hannibal nbc #text #hannibal lecter #this is 2k words long have fun yall i did not reread this #gro.dy

[shortmage]

You know what why not, let's do a quick New Year's Even End of the Year Revue of everything I've written this year! To be totally honest when this year started I did NOT expect to start writing fanfic again after not writing for about 7 or 8 years but I cannot thank the Boba/Din server and all the lovely people in it, the amazing people who helped beta my fics, and the entire fandom for all of their support, kind words, and help along the way. All my love, from me to you.

Relief in Sharp Lines

The Mandalorian. Teen. Words: 5,144. Boba/Din.

Who knew a random thought about Din in eyeliner would get to me to start writing creatively again after all this time?

Of Good Use

*NSFW* The Mandalorian. Explicit. Words: 5,993. Boba/Din/Original Male Character.

Can I explain myself concerning this one? No, but I can and do blame the Boba/Din server. What a bunch of enablers. I'd literally NEVER written smut before this so if it's awkward as all hell....yeah.

I Want Us To Eat Well

The Mandalorian. General. Words: 3,104. Boba/Din.

My most well-performing fic of the year! I need to write more domestic cooking fic.

Together, Eventually

The Mandalorian. General. Words: 3,686. Boba/Din

I wrote this in one afternoon for the Boba/Din Week because it came to me in a flash of procrastination from stats homework. I'm fond of it but I think sometimes about fleshing it out further.

Baatir

The Mandalorian. General. Words: 5,231. Boba/Din.

This fic idea was in my head for a while because I really project onto these two hard when it comes to both mental things and chronic pain. I've never had a character I can project my aches and pains on quite like I do with Boba.

Unquenched, Unquenchable

The Mandalorian. Mature. Words: 4,523. Boba/Din.

What can I say other than I love vampires, I have a lot of feelings already about how Boba sees himself as a monster of his and others' making, and neck biting is hot. This was inevitable.

A Marshal of Restraint

*NSFW* The Mandalorian. Explicit. Words: 11,443. Boba/Din/Cobb.

Can I admit that I actually started out in this fandom being a Din/Cobb shipper? Then Boba showed up and kicked down the door. But I never lost my love of Din/Cobb. Also, why is 1/3 of this fic unnecessary worldbuilding? It's not necessary for the smut but alas!

The Maker Won't Mind

The Book of Boba Fett & The Mandalorian. General. Words: 23,599. Boba/Din.

My TBOBF Big Bang Fic! I was working on this from August to November, it's the longest piece I've ever written (like I think it's actually longer than my MA thesis) and I'm full of love for it. I had the title for the fic long before I started writing and when that ending hit me: BLESS. I worry it's out of character for Boba but I just hope people enjoy indulging with me for a bit.

And to end! Some works in progress:

Relief in Sharp Lines Part 2 & Part 3

Baatir Part 2

Boba/Din/Cobb multi-chapter Western AU

Boba/Din Farmer's Market AU

Hannibal AU (because I'm trash that will never truly be free of Hannibal)

Visit to the Jedi School

And various smut fics, including some more in the Free Use Verse and something else I'm going to be embarrassed by (hint: We Will Raise Warriors).

So, if you've made it all this way: thank you, love you, bless you. Happy New Year's and many tidings and good luck.

#carak rambles #carak writing #bobadin fic

[the-avengers-ate-my-tongue]

The Storm

Summary: You work with Jack Crawford and Alana is your cousin, both of you live together for a long time. She gets caught up with a flat tire far away and asks you to let Will in, for he's expecting her. A storm is coming, and she keeps taking longer and longer to show up. Will the universe conspire in your favor?

Pairing: Will Graham x reader

Warnings: swearing, insinuation of smut, fluff.

Word count: 4.328

A/n: I'm starting to consider changing this tumblr for a Hannibal one, mostly Will Graham, so some requests from other fandoms would be nice haha hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing ♥️

*not my gif

There wasn't a thing such as a boring day at the BAU. 

At least not when you're part of Jack Crawford's crew. There was always an interesting case to focus on, a disfigured body to study the reason of death, it was always a thrilling hunt for evidence. The best experience I've ever had so far in my career, and I could only thank my cousin Alana for putting me on the Guru's radar. I was a great crime scene investigator, albeit a little younger than people gave me credit for. I taught people not to underestimate me over the years, though. I got here by my own effort, being a tenacious, hard-working woman who wouldn't get a no for an answer. 

I got along well with my crewmates, Beverly Katz, Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price, though our relationship hardly extended for life outside work. Except for Beverly, we went out for a couple of beers sometimes, she was fun, witty and I really liked our conversations. Jack was the big boss, and that was it. I had a lot of respect for him, and I knew he didn't regret bringing me to his team, I could see it in his eyes in the first case I've got. I was very cunning when I shared my insights about the cases, sometimes I saw things no one else could, no one but…

Of course, I was far, far away from being a Will Graham. But ever since I was younger, I've had this sort of intuition that helped me to solve problems, I would solve riddles easily and when people asked me how I got to the answer, I wouldn't know the steps, I just knew deep in my bones I was right. That happened a lot when I was growing up and was even stronger now that I knew how to use it. It was some artifice of my inconscient, something I could always count on. It included everything in my life, math, logical thinking, riddles. My brain picked things I couldn't perceive clearly, bringing them to the clear waters of my conscience. 

Will Graham was a curious man. He intrigued me from the very first moment I saw him at the house of one of the last victims of The Minnesota Shrike, Garret Jacob Hobbs, now dead. He was practically hiding in a corner, his eyes closed behind the lens of his glasses, dark wavy hair, jawline for days. He seemed highly focused until Beverly started to talk to him, pulling him out of his daze. He could barely look at her, or at me, and although he looked socially awkward and troubled, he still managed to look like a daydream. I studied every inch of his face, lowering my gaze when he seemed to get uncomfortable, after smiling lightly. I was a bit shy myself. I lived with Alana and, when I got home that night, I absentmindedly asked her about that curious handsome man who seemed to be out of place, yet so connected to that scene. She started to talk about him, but stopped once she noticed my interest. Then, she told me he was a very unstable person, that she wouldn't even be alone in the room with him because of her professional curiosity. As time passed and he solved more and more cases, I could see how people looked at him like an attraction of the zoo. However, not me, and later, not Beverly. Brian didn't seem to like him very much, I could see. Envy, perhaps? Nevertheless, the more I saw Will, the more intrigued I got. He avoided eye contact like the plague, but as I was always friendly and tried my best to treat him like a normal person, not focusing only on work, dead bodies and serial killers, I saw more of those beautiful blue eyes. He knew I was Alana's cousin, and I sooner realized he had a fling for her. 

And boy, did that break my silly little heart. I wasn't surprised, though. Who could blame him? Alana was amazing. I never felt resentful for that, but as time passed, I started to detach from the idea of Will being somewhat more than a simple acquaintance. That afternoon, I was going home from work when I got a call from Alana.

"Speak fast, I'm driving." I said, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other holding my phone.

"You're going home? Great. I invited Will so we could talk about a profile I'm building, but I got caught up here. I already spoke to him, he's almost there, can you let him in? He said he'll wait, and I'll be home in about fifty minutes, no more than that, hopefully." She said in a hurry, and I felt my cheeks burn a little. Will and me? Home alone? 

"I…" I hesitated, chewing my bottom lip nervously. "You won't be long, right? Heard on the radio there’s a storm for later."

"I won't, promise. Just let him in, he's already aware I'll take a little longer to be there. See you soon. Thanks, Y/n!" She hung up, not leaving me any time to answer. I put the phone down, still chewing on my bottom lip. I could feel excitement rising on my stomach, making me feel slightly nauseated, and noticed my hands starting to sweat.

Please. That was ridiculous. What was I, a teenager? I was a grown-up, well-succeeded woman, for God's sake. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, driving a little faster than I usually did almost unconsciously. I got home after twenty minutes, parking outside the pretty house. Will was already there, leaning against his car, so lost in his thoughts he barely noticed I'd arrived. I looked at my reflection at the mirror hurriedly, fixing my hair, pinching my cheeks to look less pale, brushing my eyebrows with my fingers to make them look neat. I wasn't even wearing any lipstick today. It had been a long day at work. 

I opened the car door, exiting the vehicle, the noise from shutting the door finally bringing him out of his daze, and he finally seemed to notice me. He smiled lightly, lowering his eyes. He had his glasses on, but as soon as he saw me, he took them off, hanging them on his shirt.

"Hey, Will. I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. There was a little bit of traffic." I justified, walking to the porch and waiting for him to follow me. 

"Y/n. Not at all, I just got here. Alana explained what happened, thanks for coming to let me in. Hope I didn't ruin any appointment you may have had." He waited until I unlocked the door, and we finally were engulfed with the warm air of the heater.

"Nope, I was coming home, no appointments lost. Please, come in. I'm not sure you've ever been here before, but make yourself home." I hung my trench coat, sighing with the pleasure of being home. I loved the atmosphere of that place. "Can I get you anything? Water, soda, beer…"

"Thank you. I'm fine. And no, I haven't been here before." I held back the temptation of saying "good", biting my bottom lip as I watched him sit on the couch. I just stood there for a while, not sure of what to do next. 

He frowned a little, probably thinking why I was acting so weird, and that made me nervous, because it was just an easy step to realize my silly crush on him. Did he know? What if Alana said something? Said something? For fuck's sake, he was Will Graham, he could probably see that written across my stupid face! Shit, he knows. I'm making a fool of myself. Why do I even…

"Is everything okay?" His voice startled me a little, pulling me out of my neurotic breakdown, and I wondered how my facial expressions looked. Was I blinking only one eye like the stereotyped madness of cartoons? I certainly didn't look normal. I cleared my throat, laughing lightly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm not really used to having people over anymore. I've been working a lot lately. People are dying like flies." I sat on the armchair in front of him, sighing. 

"What we do can be overwhelming sometimes. What we see every day. It just… stains you." He said, with a dark look on his serious eyes. 

I nodded. I felt that way sometimes, but I was used to it. I stopped feeling that sense of inadequacy on my chest years ago. 

"I guess you just begin to cope with it, though. Our brain adapts to that harsh reality. But it's always nice to vent somehow. What do you do in your free time?" I asked, wondering if I was getting too personal. Did I sound like I was probing to ask him out?  I felt my face getting warm. Damn it.

Either he didn't realize, or he was just too chivalrous to point, but he didn't mention anything.

"I fish." He said, simply. I nodded with a light smile.

"And you play with your doggies." I pointed, smiling wider. I loved dogs. He'd mentioned them before, so I just brought the subject up, trying to shift the attention from me to them. Will smiled back, his eyes with a subtle glow. He really loved them, and that was so sweet. "Fishing sounds nice. Unfortunately, I could never. I'm too restless. I'd probably startle all the fish and wouldn't catch anything."

He laughed, and that was the first time I ever heard that sound coming out of him. I felt like I was someone deaf that was able to hear the sound of Mozart's symphonies for the first time, and I just knew. There was never detachment from the idea of Will being more than an acquaintance. It was tackled down inside my brain somewhere, for the brain tends to adapt to harsh realities, but it was still there, just waiting for some incentive. 

"It's just a matter of training, getting used to it. I could teach you someday… if you want." He blinked a few times, as if he was surprised with his own boldness, smiling lightly. "And you? What do you do to vent?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"Well, I read a lot. Maybe I could read by the riverside while I watch you fish." I said, shrugging with a subtle smile.

"It's a date, then?" Will inquired, making me mortified. Caught me by total surprise, and when I was about to say something, my phone rang.

"Excuse me." I answered the phone. It was Alana. "Hey. We're already here waiting for you."

Not that I wanted her to arrive any time sooner, but she didn't have to know that.

"You won't believe me; I've got a flat tire. There's a guy helping me out, I was lucky, I'm in the middle of nowhere. But I'll get there in about fifty more minutes, more or less. Can you put Will on the phone? I'll explain everything to him."

"Do you need one of us to pick you up? I'm sure he wouldn't mind, I wouldn't…"

"No, he's almost done. Thank you. Let me talk to Will, I'll be there soon. The storm is about to catch me, I wanna hurry."

I sighed, grimacing at him. 

"She wants to talk to you." I passed him the phone, studying his expressions while he talked to her. As I looked at the window, I could see the dark clouds gathering up, making the end of the afternoon murky. The storm was about to hit hard. I could see a few thin drops of rain starting to wet the glass.

"I can stay a little longer, no problem. I'm being well attended." He traded looks with me, biting his lip slightly. "Okay. I'll see you soon, Alana."

He gave me the phone, but Alana was already gone. I put it on the coffee table, getting up.

"I think I'll pour myself some wine. Do you want some?" I asked politely. "It's one of the fanciest ones; Hannibal gave us a bottle when we dined at his house a few days ago."

"Yes. Thank you." He waited for me to come back with the beverages, and I did my best not to spill anything, sitting on the couch beside him while I gave him the glass. "So you're acquainted with Dr. Lecter?"

"Oh yeah, he's an old friend of Alana's, sometimes he invites us to dinner. He cooks the best meals I've ever had in my entire life, so I don't exactly decline the invitations. And he's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met, so it's always interesting." I took a sip of the crimson liquid, moaning low in pleasure. Good wine. I preferred a good cup of hot oolong, but it was impossible not to appreciate the quality of that drink. 

A few glasses after and a lot of talks about dogs, fishing and other hobbies, he finally felt safe to bring back the topic. The rain had started really pouring, the now thicker drops hitting the windows loudly. Alana hadn't called again. It was nighttime now, the sky seeming to be darker than usual. I was low-key worried about her, but the conversation was too great to interrupt. She was a good driver. She would be just fine. 

"I've been seeing Hannibal Lecter in his office. Not exactly his patient, though. A courtesy of Jack Crawford to keep an eye on the coping of my brain functions." He sounded a bit bitter, drinking a few sips of his wine.

I could see he didn't like therapy. Must be hard with someone with a mind like his.

"You know, sometimes, Alana psychoanalyses me. Like, she doesn't even notice. It's cute, but sometimes it creeps me out." 

"She has a professional curiosity about me, but she's too polite and considerate to let it slip out. We've never even been alone in the same room together."

I held back a bitter comment, not wanting to talk shit about my cousin, but he saw it right through me. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in a complicated position."

"I know. You're sweet." The word slipped through my tongue before I could contain it. Will blinked a few times, seeming surprised, and I felt my cheeks burn, starting to stutter. "I meant… I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no. It's just… no one's ever called me that before." It was my time to get surprised. He didn't seem to be complimented much, and that just made me flabbergasted. I couldn't be the only one who saw how fantastic Will was.

"... Ah. Well, some people are just shy. I'm shy as hell, don't even know how I had the nerve to say that, it's probably the wine starting to kick in. Hope I really didn't make you uncomfortable, though. Don't need to be polite, it's okay to tell me."

"Actually, I'm curious to know what else you think of me. I sense it's not the only word you have to define me." He sounded bolder, and his eyes were on mine, giving me shivers down my spine. 

"Well… I think you're too exceptional to be defined with a few words. You're… Kind, brilliant… I see how seeing what you see, doing what you do, how it wrecks you sometimes, and you just keep doing it because you're saving lives. That's so selfless, Will. That's…" I was going to say more, but at that very moment, a loud thunder just made the house practically tremble, and I let out a real inelegant weep, coming closer to Will and holding his arm firmly, my fingers grabbing on the fabric of his shirt. He could've thought it was an artifice to get closer to him, but he could see how frightened I was, trembling like a cornered wild little beast. I hated thunders, fireworks, anything loud. Feeling ridiculous, I released his shirt, apologizing with embarrassment.

"It's okay. It's just noise. I'm here." He put some of my hair that had fallen to my face behind my ear with such a tenderness that I felt my stomach twitch, realizing suddenly how close we were. He was looking at me as if it was the first time he was actually seeing me. 

The phone rang again. Alana! I grabbed it from the coffee table, turning to face Will. He wasn't avoiding eye contact anymore, his pupils were dilated. My breathing was accelerated, and I knew it had little to do with the thunder.

"Lana, is everything okay?" I asked with genuine concern. "Are you close?"

"Ah, Y/n. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'll make it in time, I'm driving slow, the roads are slippery because of the storm and it's pretty foggy. I'll stop at a motel and spend the night, or at least wait for the storm to pass. I'm so furious with myself!"

"It's okay cuz, do what's safer for you. I'm sure Will will understand. I'll pass him the phone." I gave him the phone and he talked to Alana for a few minutes, but I wasn't listening. She'd ruined the moment unintentionally, and now he was probably going home. When would I have an opportunity like that again? 

"Okay. Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Alana. Take care." He gave me the phone and I put it on the coffee table again. Before any of us could say anything, another thunder cracked the sky, and this time, Will held me so I wouldn't be afraid. The lights went out, and he held me against his chest protectively, making me smell his aftershave and some perfume. He smelled so good. For a moment, I just stood there in his arms, feeling his warmth, his breath, the steady beats of his heart. 

I moved away just a little to see his face, very close to mine, but it was so dark I could only see shadows. A lightning lit up the room and, just for a little moment, I could see his gorgeous eyes staring at me. After a soft touch of his thumb on my lips, he finally kissed me, so gentle, like I could break as fine china with any rougher move. I touched his neck with both my hands, playing with his hair, feeling how soft they were. He pulled me closer, his hands on my waist, and the kiss started to get deeper, voracious, as if we were hungry for each other. Maybe the wine was helping to raise the lust; all I know is that I've wanted that to happen for a long time. Will's kiss was everything I imagined it would be, but entirely different at the same time. All I could say was that he was great at it. His hands traveled through my body, and I grabbed his hair, pulling it slightly. That made a low growl echo through his chest, and I started to feel my body fervent as a bonfire.

I couldn't say much because I was breathless and I didn't want to stop what we were doing, so a single word left my lips as I kept my forehead on his.

"Stay."

Will bit his lip, kissing me again, and that was all the answer I needed.

xx 

Morning. Thin sunrays illuminated my bedroom floor through the curtains, waking me up. The storm was gone. I haven't had a nice night of sleep like that in ages. I looked at the other side of my bed and there was Will, sleeping heavily. It wasn't a dream, after all. Last night really happened. I smiled, staring at the roof with disbelief in my eyes.

I stared at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. Should I just let him sleep? He looked so heavenly, his hair was messy, his breathing steady, he seemed so less troubled than he usually was. I touched his hair lightly, caressing it with tenderness, and he started to move. I could see his neck, and a few hickies we marked on his albescent skin. That made me blush a little bit, and I laughed silently. 

He opened his eyes while I still touched his hair, but I didn't stop, and he didn't seem to want me to. We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, and he smiled, a different smile than the usual ones he gave me.

"Hi." He said, pulling me closer by my waist, stroking the skin under the sheets. I pecked him on the lips, then kissing his forehead, his cheek, his jawline. 

"Hey there. Good morning. I'm starving, are you having breakfast with me?"

"Actually, I gotta go home. Feed the dogs." He said, stroking my nude shoulder with his finger.

"Of course. Your dogs. I won't keep you then, poor babies must be so hungry." I kissed his cheek and was about to get up when he pulled me again, gently kissing my lips. I smiled, probably looking like an idiot. A joyful idiot. "I'll let you get dressed. I'll be in the kitchen."

I dressed up in my long and black robe, smiling at him before I left the room, going to the kitchen, where I started to make some french toasts. After a few minutes, I heard the front door open, and an exhausted Alana came in, her hair frizzy and her coat looking still a bit wet.

"Oh, Lana! Go change, you'll get a cold!" I stopped what I was doing, going to her and helping to take off her coat.

"That storm was a nightmare. I swear I won't ignore the warnings ever again. I'm so sorry, I had no idea it would get this bad, yesterday was one of those days where everything just goes wrong. Hope Will arrived well at home, did he seem disappointed or annoyed before he left? I was so inconvenient…"

I didn't even have time to answer, because Will opened my bedroom door, coming out while buttoning his shirt, suddenly realizing Alana was there.

"Oh." Alana said, looking so flabbergasted I almost laughed at her. Will rose his eyebrows at the sight of her, seeming a bit unsure of what to do or say. I wasn't planning for her to find out like this, it was a bit early, I wasn't expecting her to arrive so soon. "Hi, Will."

"Alana. Hi." He avoided looking at her, staring at me, and his eyes immediately softened. I smiled, he smiled back, and that was it, Alana was forgotten.

"Off you go to feed your children." I joked, biting my bottom lip. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Definitely." He simply said, kissing my forehead while caressing my hair, certainly a little embarrassed to kiss me in front of Alana. "See you later, Y/n. Bye, Alana."

"Bye, Will." I waved with a soft smile, and he grabbed his jacket, leaving the house.

My smile grew larger and I left my head fall back, squeaking low in commemoration. What a night! What a morning! I never thought I would thank a storm so much, let alone a bloody thunder.

Before Alana could say anything, I realized Will had left his glasses at the coffee table, and I picked it up in a hurry, bursting through the front door and calling him before he left, waving in front of the car.

"You forgot your glasses!" I said, and he opened the car windows, raising his hand to pick them.

I leaned against the car window, putting the glasses on him, and kissing his lips fiercely. He moaned in surprise, holding my face to deepen the kiss. After a moment, I pulled away, appreciating the view of his lips so reddish. 

"Go back inside, it's cold." He said with a cheeky smile, and before I could say he actually made me hotter, he took off with the car.

I went back inside, where Alana was waiting for me with her arms crossed. 

"What the hell did you do to Will Graham?" She asked, sounding severe, but a smile was trying to escape her lips "I mean, besides trying to suck his soul with your mouth a few moments ago."

"Oh, shut up!" I laughed, blushing violently. "You made that happen, you know? Thank you. Was that a set up or did the universe actually conspire in my favor?"

"I wish I'd planned this. That would mean I would've had a plan b and I wouldn't have stayed at that disgusting mote… Y/n, you're full of hickies, I can't believe you!"

"You're starting to sound like my mom, Lana. I'm gonna wear a turtleneck, don't worry, I don't want Beverly all over me like a bloodhound and Brian and Jimmy's witty comments today. In fact, keep it to yourself, okay? Will's discreet. I won't even tell Beverly, if she finds out, the whole bureau will know, hell, maybe even Freddie Lounds."

"I told you to let it go, Y/n. Will's very unstable right now. I… I only want what's best for you." She said with concern in her bright blue eyes. I sighed, walking to her and kissing her cheek with affection.

"You're a good cousin. But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself, okay? Unless this isn't only about me, unless it concerns something else." I raised an eyebrow while staring at her, more confident that I've ever been. "Is there something you wanna tell me?"

She hesitated, clenching her jaw, but never spoke. 

I smiled, tapping her cheek very lightly in approval.

"I gotta get ready to work. Wanna grab lunch with me later?" I asked in a casual tone, a cynical smile on my face. She shrugged. "See you later then, cuz."

#hannibal #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen #will graham #will graham headcanon #will graham imagine #hannibal imagine #will graham x reader #alana bloom #alana bloom imagine #jack crawford #beverly katz #hannibal fanfic #hannibal fanfiction #hannibal headcanon #will graham oneshot

[k-s-morgan]

What do you make of Will's conversation with Molly in the hospital? What is Will apologizing for and what is she getting angry about for a second? For getting attacked or for seeing Hannibal which resulted in the attack? I have the feeling she knows more about his relationship with Hannibal than the fandom gives her the credit for.

I always considered this conversation a break-up scene - quiet, a little sad, but inevitable. 

I think Molly’s knowledge about Will is mostly limited to official versions. Perhaps Will told her some half-truths, like about being friends with Hannibal before the betrayal, so she wouldn’t question his brokeness. But it’s difficult to make guesses because Hannibal is not the topic we ever hear them discuss. Ultimately, we can see that Molly has no idea about Will’s darkness and his struggles with it - she innocently encouraged him to go back, incorrectly thinking that Will is haunted by failing to save lives, and then she even joked about his criminal mind, taking it lightly and not realizing how grave and sensitive this topic is for Will. She knows he can think like a killer because he’s gifted, but she doesn’t realize he himself is a killer. Since Will’s real nature is so closely connected to his feelings for Hannibal, these two things go together, so if Molly doesn’t know much about one, I imagine she doesn’t know much about the other as well. 

As for her getting angry: I think both options you suggested are accurate. Will put Molly and Walter in danger by doing his job, both by working on the case and going to Hannibal. Molly has no idea Will visited him just because he missed him, so she likely blames him for needing his advice and for being a catnip for killers in general, even if she knows it’s not fair. That’s why she’s apologetic about her anger: she doesn’t think she has the right to blame Will, especially after being the one who urged him to go, but she’s still irrationally angry because Will brought this darkness into her life. 

I’d say Will is apologizing for everything at once. He’s sorry for her getting hurt because of him; he’s sorry he was never honest, and he’s sorry that he can’t stay. After this, Will tells Bedelia that his family life has ended, so he doesn’t seem to be planning on coming back. When Molly asks, “We'll be back home, won't we?”, Will says yes, but he sounds and looks unconvincing, and Molly seems resigned after this. Hence the, “Tough to hold onto anything good. It's all so slippery.”

The thing that frustrates me is that chances are, Molly is going to keep blaming herself for telling Will to go and for not supporting him enough, not realizing how much Will has manipulated her. I hope she learns the real version of events after TWOTL, not another “Will is a hero” tale. She deserves to live in peace. 

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #molly graham #meta

[sappsorrow]

@ceraunos​ tagged me AGES ago i'm sorry bestie 😩

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 10

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 204596

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 4 - Trust, The Terror, The Silmarillion and Black Sails, but there was X-Files fic and a hefty Hannibal prohibition-era AU at one point too

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? this old silmarillion fic that is not good, blame it on cocaine lines (Trust), check the cupboard for your daddy’s gun (The Terror), things they said at sea (Black Sails), flotsam, jetsam (Black Sails)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? yes girl you thought i had brain rot in the fic? now get ready for brain rot: the director’s cut.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? probably all the Terror fic i wrote on my phone and sent in screenshots to my girlfriend during lockdown. I can feel myself gearing up for another Cold Boys winter tho so maybe I'll finally get around to editing/posting it.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written? not my bag really

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? nah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I actually never wrote smut at all until last year, but it’s not something I'd ever post

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have not

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? co-writing with @ferrame​ is the best, she’s so immensely talented and we vibe really well. we co-wrote all our Trust fic and the Terror southern gothic AU, and there’s so much stuff we haven’t even posted as well, but writing snippets with her is definitely the highlight of any day.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship? it varies, but in 2018 both Trust and The Terror came out and took turns beating me over the head with a bar of soap in a pillow case, pretty much every character dynamic in either of those shows makes me crazy

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? we wrote a lot of Trust fic that it’d be fun to go back and edit at some point, and I started writing a OiM yuletide fic a few years ago that was deeply silly but fun.

15. What are your writing strengths? I’m bitchin with landscapes and I can write a mean metaphor if I do say so myself

16. What are your writing weaknesses? I have a tendency to go scorched earth on ideas that don’t work out 100%, my time management is atrocious, v bad at dividing my energy between fic-writing and work-writing and then I get stressed and am beastly to my loved ones.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think you don’t want readers to have to be checking google translate in the middle of a sentence lol. The odd word here or there can add a bit of flavour, I guess, but I think it really depends on the character, and if you don’t speak the language in question, it’s probably best to steer clear.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? my self-insert Lord of the Rings fanfic on LiveJournal obviously

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? gotta be cocaine lines. really ascended while writing that one.

tagging, if you’re so inclined: @ferrame @whalersandsailors @fuckyeahisawthat @tuulikki & @starbuck

[adarafaelbarba]

My Little Pet (NSFW)

Pairing: Frederick Chilton x reader

Fandom: Hannibal

Requested: Yes

Request: «Femdom or pegging with Chilton? Chilton is lonely and hires a dom? Or he's been whiny all day & needs to be p u n i s h e d. Punished/actually comforted bc you know he loves it» - @prurientpuddlejumper

Warning: Femdom. Smut (duh).

A/N: This covers the femdom square in @thatesqcrush ’s kink bingo. I did a combo of these three messages, although pegging with potentially be a part 2. No degrading names (and very little use of pet names), I’m new to this kink. Also I apologize in advance, this is the first time I write for Frederick Chilton, and this kind of fic in general 😅 Bare with me 🙈 -Karen

For people who didn’t really know Dr. Frederick Chilton, they thought of him as a man who had it all together. Someone who didn’t have to beg for anything. But you knew better, you knew the real man, who, under all that facade of sass, assholeness and elegant suits, just wished to be held and taken care of.

You could read him when he came home from work by now, seeing as you’d known him for some time. Most days he wanted to be held. Some days he wanted to be left alone. Other days he wanted his primal needs filled. You liked those days.

It wasn’t to say your sex life was lacking, quite the opposite. Frederick knew how he liked it in the bedroom, or wherever he wanted to take you, and he also knew what you liked. On the days he just wanted to be held, you usually took it slowly in bed, purely intimate and soft. When his primal needs needed to be filled it was up to what you were both feeling in the moment, whether it was from behind, anal, reverse cowgirl. It didn’t matter when you were there, as long as you got off at least 2 times each during the night.

You didn’t know where this need was coming from, but you had always wanted to try be the dominant person in the bedroom. Usually you were both in control, save from the days he was the most fragile and just wanted to take things slow.

But you had never been a dom. Heck you didn’t really know what you had to do in order to do the role. So you decided to prep yourself, read up on the role and enact it at the perfect time.

The perfect time came when Frederick came home one night in a mood. He’d been ignoring you for days, blamed it on work being rough, that wouldn’t do for you. «Come here», you said, your voice soft, yet demanding. «Darling I’m not in the mood», he groaned. «I don’t like to repeat myself», you said, «Come here.» He looked at you in shock, only then taking in your appearance. You were clad in a black bralette and a matching black laced thong, a black silk robe hanging over your shoulders and you were wearing his favorite pair of stilettos that you owned. «What are you—», he questioned, a low groan escaping his lips as he took you in. Then his eyes lifted to your face. Your (h/c) hair was curled elegantly, and you were wearing simple, yet alluring makeup, sharp winged eyeliner and wine red lips. «You don’t talk, is that clear?» you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.

It took him a moment to respond, and you felt yourself grow impatient. «What did I say?!» you snapped again, causing him to whimper. «I think I should teach you a lesson, shouldn’t I?» that made him gulp as he took a step back. «Don’t even think about it Frederick», you purred, approaching him.

You slowly got to work on opening his belt and slack button before dipping your hand into the front of his slacks and boxer, taking his hardening member in your hand. The motion drew a loud moan out of him, «Not a sound from you», you purred, pumping him slowly. «So what was this about not being in the mood huh?» you teased. Frederick knew that if he really didn’t want this, he could always use the safe word and you would stop immediately, but it felt so good having you distressing him like you did with your hands. «Please don’t stop», he whimpered, before stopping himself. He had no idea what would happen if he spoke up after you had told him twice to keep quiet. Biting down on his lip he willed him self to look at you, and he was met with a stoic face.

Who knew his caring, loving girlfriend would be this dominating, sexy goddess? He had no idea where this demeanor came from, but he wasn’t complaining. «Yeah? Feels good doesn’t it? You want to cum, huh? Want to ruin these nice pants with your release don’t you?» you teased, picking up some speed with your hand. He didn’t dare to say anything. «Such a good little boy for me, doing as I say», you went on. Tracing your index finger and middle finger over his lips, silently telling him to take them in his mouth, and he did, sucking on your digits with a wanton lust.

Stopping your wrist movement you pulled both your hands away and looked at him with a sultry look. It drew a soft whine from your boyfriend, but you simply gave him a look as to say don’t test me, which made him stop. «Go to the bedroom and strip, then get on the bed, don’t you dare touch yourself», you instructed and he obediently did as he was told, almost running to your shared bedroom.

You took your time getting into the bedroom, downing a glass of wine before you joined him. What met you when you entered could have been your undoing. Frederick was laid flat on his back on the bed, arms laid outstretched to the side and his suit laid over the back of a chair.

«Look at you. So obedient, so willing. Maybe I should reward you now? Since you’re so good and doing what I tell you», you teased, running a well manicured hand over his naked body. «Please», he begged, whimpering at the contact. «What was that?» you mocked. «Please darling, please fuck me, please let me cum», he begged. You pulled your hand away before you delivered a slap across his face. Grabbing his chin with one hand you glared at him, «Didn’t I tell you not to make a sound?» you barked, Hands above your head. Now», you commanded.

Doing as he was told he waited in anticipation as you grabbed the satin rope from your gown, tying his hands up with it and fastening it at the headboard. He looked up at you with wide, wondering eyes as you hovered over him.

«You’re gonna get me off by just your mouth, and then we can negotiate if you can cum or not», you said, lust dripping from each word. Frederick nodded quickly and tried his best not to make a sound. He wanted desperately to get a release, so if it meant not making a sound, so be it.

Straddling his chest you slowly moved up until your centre was right above his face. Your eyes locked briefly, and you could see in his eyes how much he wanted this. «You better make me cum», you purred, slipping your panties to the side before lowering down on him.

You knew Frederick was good with his mouth, of course he was. The intense sensation of his lips and tongue working on your swollen clit and centre. It took everything in you not to let your facade down and scream out in pleasure at how good he was making you feel.

He seemed to be enjoying himself under you as he ate you out like a starved man. As he kept working you to the edge, you started regretting the fact that you had tied him up, you missed his skilled fingers, but it had to do you supposed.

Grabbing onto the headboard for leverage, letting loud moans rip from your mouth. «Just like that, doing so well for me aren’t you pet?» you mewled, «Are you going to make me cum? Are you going to be a good boy for me hmm?» you added, raking fingers through his hair as his tongue moved in and out of your core. «Oh fuck! YES! Just like that!» you squealed, feeling the coil deep within you ready to snap. «I’m gonna—I—oh fuck!!!» you let out a string of moans and curses as your orgasm hit.

Frederick lead you through your climax, licking up all your juices with glee.

When you finally came back down from you mind blowing orgasm you got off him and knelt next to him the bed. «You did so good for me pet», you purred, smiling at him as he laid there in bliss. You felt yourself being spent. Had you known being a dom would be so much more work than just getting into bed and fucking, you would have rested more before hand. Not to mention you had been pent up from going 2 weeks without sex, something that never happened as long as you had been with Frederick.

«Let’s get you to bed baby», you purred, untying his hands. He didn’t seem to like that one bit, looking at you with a growing hunger in his eyes. «But you promised me I would cum after I made you cum», he whined. «And now I’m saying we should go to bed. Are you going to be a little brat?» you mocked his whiny tone. «Maybe I shouldn’t let you cum for two weeks», you said, getting out of his reach when he jumped up in protest. «You wouldn’t! You couldn’t deal with two more weeks without sex» he gasped. «I would. And who said anything about me not getting off? I have your mouth at my disposal, not to mention my toys. You on the other hand will not be allowed to touch yourself, that should teach you not to be a whiny little brat», you purred.

Frederick was shocked by your tone, but at the same time so turned on. Did he dare challenge you more at the risk of not being able to get a release? «It’s unfair darling. Please, let me cum», he begged, moving towards you. «You didn’t please me for two weeks. You denied me the intimacy, so I’m returning the favor. Now go to bed Frederick, and stop being a little brat.» He huffed, but in the end, he had no choice but to do as he was told. Damn this woman and how she had him wrapped around her finger. But damn if he wasn’t going to fuck her nice and hard when he was given the chance. He was already plotting it.

taglist: @itsjustmyfantasyroom @detective-giggles @kriegsverlobte​ 

#frederick chilton smut #frederick chilton #frederick chilton x reader #frederick chilton imagine #frederick chilton one shot #thatesqcrush kinktober 2020 #thatesqcrush kink bingo #kinktober 2020 #kinktober

[pinkiepiebones]

tagged by @anxietylord so blame him

-Name: Zombie. Just Zombie. Except when I’m not. Like when I’m SparkleZombie on AO3.

-Fandoms: I write agonisingly specific headcanon-based fics for the Swedish metal pop band Ghost and for the D-list Batman villain Victor Zsasz. Thousands of years ago I wrote Hannibal fic and fucking Tron fic.

Two-shot: I don’t know what this means!

Most popular multi-chapter: I only have, like, two fics you could call multi-chapter, and only one of them is more than three chapters- “Dichotomy,” a brisk 13 chapter contemplation on an AU meeting between Doctor Harleen Quinzel and Victor Zsasz, borne largely out of the fact that the two characters were introduced to the world in the same year. Please read it and PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTARY GOOD LORD A NICE NOTE DOES SO MUCH FOR ME THESE DAYS

Actual worst part of writing: That feeling when you feel the frenzy and type as fast as your sausage fingers can keep up with your fevered mind and you post so proud of yourself… only to get, like, two likes. Ever. Also when no one sends prompts no matter how much you beg and insist that anything helps. The ego crushers.

I’m also bad at spelling the big fancy words I like to use LOL

How you choose your titles: Sometimes words just come to me. Other times I’m really into a song. I am not a clever man.

Do you outline: Oh goodness no. If I ever got feedback about story structure (feedback beyond “this is good”) I might attempt planning things but until then we type in the Tumblr post window and throw the raw un-betad story on the altar slab like MEN

Ideas you probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice:

-Wacky crossovers

-A sappy simple self-insert wherein I make a confort character tell me how cool I am and such

-Just more Zsasz interacting with other Rogues. I feel I know him very well, and interactions with others have a potential for good fun, but it would require also a modicum of knowledge of the other Rogues, which I lack

Callouts @ yourself: Maybe give up and just write popular fanon? You want readers, don’t you? Also, maybe finish Naive Meoldy, you started it, what, THREE YEARS AGO???

Best writing traits: I am the only person aside from Alan Grant who is legally permitted to write Victor Zsasz. I feel confident, extremely so, in this one arena. I mean, I RPed as Zsasz and have been building headcanon sandcastles around him for a fucking decade now, I think I’ve damn well earned the title of “The Only Good Zsasz Writer”

Spicy tangential opinion: Comments save lives. Reblogs >>>>>>>>>>> Likes.