#I feel like I neglected celest slightly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

help-im-a-gay-fish · 3 years

Text

Brightly Shone The Moon That Night. A Dark-Cream Christmas story.

The following is a slice of life story about my Dark-Cream family at Christmas. It exists in a universe different to @zu-is-here cannon. In this universe positive emotions are not fatal to Shattered so Cross and Dream didn't rush to break the curse. It splits off around 'things will never be the same' or 'the price of happiness'. The twins were created before the last 3 chapters of Dark-Cream were drawn. Any changes to the story or changes to the characters should be accepted as being part of an alternative timeline. Thank you. Enjoy. Original cross and dream belong to jakei95 and joku blog. Original shattered dream belongs to @galacii. This design for shattered is based off the one by @zu-is-here and the Dark-Cream story is also by @zu-is-here. Most of the Story will be under the cut.

"isn't this a bit much?" the gloopy one said, as his partner wrapped a scarf around his neck.

"nope" the former guard replied "can't have you getting frost bite my love"

Dream simply rolled his eyes. "but I can't really get cold? Or even hot for that matter"

"what are you talking about? you're always hot" Cross replied with a sly smile. This earned a confused look from the smaller skeleton, as Cross carefully tied the scarf and gently folded it under Shattered's jacket. Though it became clear to Cross that Dream had twigged what he'd meant a moment later, evident by the creeping gold blush spreading across his face.

The golden guardian playful punched Cross in the shoulder. "Shush you, keep in clean in front of the little ones"

At that Cross couldn't help but smile and turn his head to his two daughters. The two were in their cot, all dressed in snuggly winter clothes, waiting for their Dad's to be done getting ready. Celest was dressed in a cosy jumper with a little bobble hat, while Luna wore a full bodied coat. Their consistent look of confusion and wonder changed into toothless smiles when their dad looked at them. (idk how teething works for skeletons..... Teeth magically form or something......also tbh they should start teething soon) it warmed Cross' soul.

His attention was drawn back to dream by the sound of metal being placed down on wood. He looked to him, seeing that he'd removed his crown band and set down on the bedside table. Dream then sighed and sagged his shoulders. "it.... It feels wrong not having something on my head"

Cross chuckled.

The 4 of them where taking a trip out today. This was something both Dream and Cross had agreed was a good idea.

Cross' eye lights travelled back to the little ones. They seemed so innocent right now, as if recent events hadn't happened. As if the last two weeks hadn't been difficult to get through.

Celest's code had been burning her a lot, to the point where she'd screamed when either of them had tried to hold her, or even touch her. As for Luna, her throat had become clogged with more gloop then ever before. So much Shattered had to use a tentacle to pull some of it out. She had surely been 5 seconds from suffocating.

It had been a fortnight of sleepless nights, screaming babies and a large amount of arguing. The stress of the situation had pushed them very far apart. Many things had been said, old wounds jabbed at, tears shed. But after a lot of long talks they had sorted out each fight. They were a lot stronger then some petty arguments. There was no room in their relationship for emotional strain......not anymore. The two loved each other, it had just been a difficult time.

In recent days, the twins seemed to have recovered to a stable state. Back to the laughing, smiling, Cow lovers. Cross never thought he'd be so happy that they'd started playing with their cow collection again.

After a long talk with his finance, the two concluded that they'd all been stuck in the void space for way to long. Even with the few rooms and furniture, it's not like there was much to do there and a serious cabin fever had developed. So while the twins were in a good place, they had to take the opportunity to spend some time together as a family.

Cross once again looked back at his partner. Only to need to do a double take. Dream was wearing a hat now. A festive white one with golden stripes running across it. It was reminiscent of a classic Santa hat, other then the colours. The fabric had black stains in several places due to where Dream had touched it. Though despite that Cross recognised it all to well. To his dismay, he felt his face slowly get warm. Their first kiss.

He could remember it clearly in his mind, the mistletoe, the hotel, Gaster sniggering in the corner. But mostly, Dream. The sweet, positive skeleton from back then was very different to the one who stood before him now. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

Remembering that day caused his blush to darken. It had truly been one of the most embarrassing, but best days of his life. Though a part of him wondered how Dream still had the hat. After everything, the hat had been saved.

"you've still got that hat?" he said, in a half teasing tone.

Shattered smirked at Cross' flushed face "of course, so many good memories".

A stream of positivity ran through him and with it, it brought a sudden, but expected twinge in his soul. It was a sharp pain, like a knife being slowly pressed in. Dream tried to ignore it but he visually flinched causing Cross to come over.

"positivity again Dreamboat?" he questioned.

Dream nodded "it's alright, I'm used to it" The guardian sensed some sadness from Cross, even if he kept a natural face.

"I'm OK Crossy, promise!"

Cross sighed and gently kissed Shattered's forehead. "if you say so my love"

With that he walked back over to the twins so that he could get their carriers. Dream sighed slightly. It was strange seeing Cross in an outfit different to his guard uniform. So much so that Dream already kind of missed it, not that Cross didn't look handsome is what he was currently wearing.

The last time the family had left the void to go shopping, (which is really a story in itself) they had been stared at from all angles. Every man, women and child. Monster or human, had taken part in watching them. Like animals in a zoo. Cross had insisted that it was the twins they were staring at, since his children were so beautiful that of course people would stare. But in the end both him and Dream knew the real reason.

They were staring at them.

He couldn't really blame them though, how often do you come across a monster with heterochromia wearing what was best described as fancy dress, accompanied by a slime covered skeleton in heels and a crown? Many things had changed since the apple incident, but people staring as he passed had not.

Today they both wanted a peaceful day with their babies, so they had opted to wear more normal clothes. Cross had traded his normal cape and jacket for a puffy white winter coat which he wore a red jumper under. Dream had opted for something similar, though a deep brown colour as to not show the stains so much. It felt odd being in a new outfit, but also very nice. There was only so long someone could take being in tight trousers and shirts with big collars.

The former guard straightened up, clutching a harness in his hands.

"these were definitely a good buy" he said, as he walked back to Dream.

Dream raised an eyebrow "did you really 'Buy' them Cross?" he said is a inquisitive tone.

Cross' body tensed and his partner gave him an sharp stare. Even without his emotion sensing ability, Dream could read Cross like a book.

"uhhhhhhh.......yes?"

"sure" Dream replyed, with slight amusement in his voice.

A nervous chuckle came from Cross. "look they were a good thing to get ok?....... Very helpful for the little ones"

Dream gave him an unsure nod. He still wasn't exactly well versed in child care, so he wasn't really sure what these harnesses where even for yet. Since he figured that the answer was probably obvious, he didn't ask.

"want me to help you get it on?" Cross asked, raising an eyebrow. Shattered wasn't the only one who could easily read his partner.

Shattered said nothing but nodded. His golden blush reappeared when Cross started to run his hands across and around his body to get the harness into place. His soul gave a tiny learch for a moment, but not one of pain.

He knew there was a part of him that wanted Cross to touch his soul again, It had been such a close experience for them both and had brought about a lot of pleasurable feelings. It was truly something he wanted to experience again. A feeling he almost craved. But he knew all to well, as his eye sockets fixed onto the cot to his right, that the potential consequences made it impossible. He was just going to have to live with these unmet desires. Just as he was sure that Cross lived with similar ones.

"there all done"

Dream jumped. Snapped out of his thoughts by his future husband's voice.

Now the harness was all attached. Not too tight, but not too lose. He could see that he now had a pocket on his chest which he guessed the baby sat in. Clever. It was kind of like a kangaroo pouch.

Cross strapped a identical carrier around his own chest and walked over to the babies cot to collect his daughters.

Luna smiled wide at the sight of him. The older skeleton matched her smile and slowly picked his child up. Luna giggled and kicked her tiny feet out as he did. Her tentacle flickered around the corners of her mouth as she laughed. Cross could feel his own joy fill him at the sight. But he nullified it for his partner's sake.

Speaking of which, he turned back to Dream.

"you wanna take Celly or Lu Lu?" he asked.

"I'll take Luna" the smaller skeleton replied "since you are already holding her". He held his arms out in an awkward, slightly unsure way.

Cross gave a soft, knowing smile "Its OK Dreamboat, I'll help you get her in the carrier"

Shattered sighed, irritated by his own incompetence and nodded.

With that Cross carefully attempted to slip the wriggling baby into her carrier. Which wasn't easy, as she cheerfully shifted her legs around. In fact Cross had a slightly hard time keeping hold of her.

After much difficulty, Cross managed to feed her legs through the leg holes and sit her safely inside. The whole time, Dream remained mostly still, he didn't want to do anything in case he ended up hurting Luna.

Once she was buckled in, Cross took a slow step back to admire his handy work. Luna bounced excitedly in her carrier and her Papa looked almost comically uncomfortable by all her movement.

"do you want me to take her Day Dream?" Cross said, upon noticing Dreams unease around the wiggling baby. Dream shook his head "no, its fine" he replied as he relaxed his shoulders. "you get Celest and we can go"

Cross gave a nod and turned back to the cot. As he went to pick up his slightly younger daughter, he noticed that she had in fact fallen asleep. Cross sighed - not again....

For most parents, the time when the children slept was a time of bliss, and after a fortnight of little sleep, Cross almost agreed. But his child had a habit of falling asleep suddenly and for long periods. Dream had told him that when this happened her energy levels were low, showing that her body couldn't regulate itself fully.

With another sigh, Cross carefully picked up the sleeping baby and slipped her into the carrier. It was very hard to wake her when she was like this, but he was still extra careful. Not waking a sleeping baby was basically a universal law, though he would have to if she was asleep to long. After double checking that she was safely inside and her head was supported, he walked back over to Dream.

"any particular preference for an au Dream boat?" he asked

Shaking his head, Dream replied "Not really, just try and get a pacifist timeline"

With a nod, Cross extended his arm. There was a spark of magic at his figure tips and his knife materialised. He dragged it through the air in a fluid motion, as he did it split the air as if it where a piece of cloth. It was a causal splitting of space and time. Simple.

Luna watched her dad with a look of wonder. Her silver eyes where wide and bright.

"gahhhhh daaaaag" she cooed and reached for him.

Cross glanced back at her with a smile "just you wait Princess, when you are older I'll teach you how to do this"

These words hung heavily in the air for a moment, as Cross carefully finished opening the portal. The same thing was on both Cross and Dreams minds.

If you get older.

With a sigh and a snap of his fingers, the knife was gone and the portal was open.

"After you" Cross said, stooping into a slight bow and winking at his fiancé.

Dream covered his mouth with his hand and fake giggled. "Oh what a gentleman" he said with a large smile across his face before walking forward and entering the portal.

The first thing that hit Dream as he reached the other side, was a cold crisp breeze. The chill made him feel grateful that he was wearing his boots, even if they were old and an obnoxious shade of yellow.

The breeze blew lightly causing Luna to shiver. There was no wind in there home, so this brought a welcome change to Shattered. He took a deep breath into his non existent lungs.

It was evening. Strange? He figured that their sense of time must have been thrown out a little. They did live in a void after all. However it was a pleasant evening, with sky littered with stars and a full moon.

Shattered allowed himself to bask in the fresh air for a while, as he heard footsteps behind him and the portal close.

"Oh it's good to be outside again" came Cross' voice from behind.

With a nod, Shattered turned around to face his partner. Luna wriggled more in her carrier, looking around at all the new things she'd never seen before.

"someone is excited" Cross said, leaning down and kissing his daughter on the forehead. She giggled and very nearly headbutt him as he did. Chuckling, he pulled away.

The guard looked around "looks like we're in a small town... If I had to guess its the surface"

The two of them started to look around, trying to find something to engage with. It wasn't long before they spotted something.

Both skeletons attention was caught by something in the near distance. A large crowd of people. Among them were people in hats, jumpers and coats, carrying bags and cups of hot drinks. A vast amount of stalls and stands were among them, not to mention fur trees in fancy dress and lights. Hundreds and hundreds of lights.

"a Christmas Market!" Dream said, his voice hinting an excitement "I've never been to one! I forgot that it was this time of the year"

His excitement felt like a balloon filling inside him. Only to be burst when his soul gave a sting inside his ribs.

But Dream couldn't help but feel a little happy, this was such a good thing to come across, perfect for their trip out.

Cross tilted his head "how do you know what Christmas is my love? It's more of a human custom".

"well that's easy" Dream said, a slight smugness in his voice at the fact he seemed more knowledgeable then Cross about something.

"Christmas is a time where positive emotions take hold, even in the darkest of times, positively rules here"

He eye lit up slightly as he spoke. Even if Dream was corrupted, and technically not the positivity guardian anymore, he was still happy to talk about it. It reminded him of easier times.

"as the former positively guardian it was only natural for me to learn about the festival...." his voice turned somba for a moment "Heaven taught me...... remember?"

There was another heaviness in the air at those words. A unspoken guilt and regret and then a thought. Dream now possessed the very power that had killed him.....

The gloopy one sighed and straightened the baby carrier. Luna gurgled as he did so.

"he would have loved to meet these two wouldn't he" he spoke, his voice twisting in its somba state.

"yeah... But it's ok" the guard replied, taking Dreams hand.

"in a way, he is here" he said in a soft tone, running his finger across Dreams ring. A smile ran across his face before he realised Shattered's hand.

After a short moment of silence they were disturbed by a soft noise. Celest had woken from her sleep. She wriggled and shifted against Cross' chest, her tiny voice gurgling.

"Nice of you to join the party Sweet pea" Cross said, upon noticing.

"we should probably get going, before she falls asleep again" Dream stated in reply. Cross nodded.

The family started to walk together towards the market. As they approached the air was filled with the smell of food and the sound of cheesy pop songs. The emotions of the people around them where starting to fill in.

The first thing that Dream felt was a lot of emotion around him. He was going to need to take a moment to get used to it. From what he could feel it was primarily positive, but then he felt something else.

To his right he felt anger and frustration. That wasn't the kind of thing that he expected this time of year, so he turned his head slightly. There was a human and a monster stood in the huddle.

He caught a few words of what they were saying.

"typical every year you leave gift buying to the last minute" said one.

"it's not completely last minute" said the other.

"it's the 23rd! How is that not last-" and then he was out of ear shot.

"23rd?" Shattered said to himself "huh.... It was my birthday 2 days ago". He counted on his fingers for a moment, trying to figure out how old that made him.

"it was!? Oh my goodness that's right!" came a voice from his side. It was slight panic from Cross. Uh oh.

Dream waved his hands in a jazz hand fashion "woah woah woah, before you go flying off the handle, we both didn't realise-

"I'm so sorry my love!"

Shattered groaned. Here we go.

"I can't believe I forgot! I'll make it up to yo-

Dream cut Cross off with a peak on the teeth. Cross jumped and his face flushed.

"......... Cross, I'm going to have hundreds more birthdays... Its OK if we skip one" the guardian whispered before nuzzling his gloopy face against him. "presides.... We had more important things to worry about"

As if on que both twins cooed.

A little smile creeped on to Cross' face. Dream mirrored it.

"now let's stop standing here go to the market" he held his hand out "it's waiting for us".

With a soft smile, Cross took his hand and they started walking again. It wasn't long before they finally reached the market.

The market was busy.

Both humans and monsters were walking around, talking happily. Children of all ages were rushing around with chocolates in their hands and candy canes in their mouths. Positive emotions were swirling like the snow in the wind. A warm blend of joy, song and family.

The smells of cakes and and pies were everywhere. Hot wine, ginger, cinnamon, dried fruit and nuts. Coffee, chutney, jams and cheeses.

For Dream it was like being spun in a giant bath of spice. The smells did not help his developing headache. There where positive emotions everywhere, every angle.

He let go of his partner's hand and stumbled slightly. The emotions were threatening to make him collapse as they came at all sides. Being in a void space for so long meant he'd gotten used to only Cross' emotions being around. But now there must have been 100 people at lest.

With the surrounding area becoming a blur, the sky and ground became one and he felt something hit his back and press it.

After a moment of silence he could hear the sound of a baby crying from off in the distance. Someone was calling his name but he could hardly hear it as the crying baby got closer. But eventually both got clearer.

"Dream! Dream are you OK!? Can you hear me?"

It was Cross.

"C.... Cross?" he said, looking for his partner's face. He eventually found it, hovering above him.

"why....." he said reaching his heavy arm up "why are you flying?"

The former guard gave him a confused expression. A moment later, Dream realised that the pressure on his back was in fact the floor and he was laying on it.

"you collapsed" said Cross with a pained expression. Cross' worry and stress washed over Dream and snapped him back to reality. The crying baby was very close. In fact it was coming from his chest.

Dream pushed himself onto his elbows and looked down. Luna was crying and wriggling in her carrier.

"oh.... OH!" Shattered said as a sudden and huge instinct hit him. Something he'd not really felt up till this point. Caring not about his state, he pulled her out of the carrier and rocked her in his arms.

"shhhh shhh it's ok, I'm sorry sweetheart, are you hurt?"

If Dream hadn't just collapsed, Cross would have felt happy at the sight of him comforting Luna. The tiny skeleton quieted down, but her non-existent lip was still trembling. Shattered inspected her, happy not to find any marks that would indicate she'd been hurt by the fall. Probably just scared.

"what happened my love?" came Cross' voice again.

"emotions" Dream bluntly responded, before attempting to get to his feet. He hadn't gotten far when he felt his partners hands grip his and help him pull up. He'd barely just gotten to his feet when things started to blur again and his head started to once again throb.

He fell forward slightly into Cross' chest, the guard put his arms around him to support him and keep him steady. He had to be careful to make sure the babies didn't get squished.

Cross' fiancé give out a low, pained groan and Luna give a wine of discomfort.

"Keep hold of her Dreamboat, I'll find somewhere where you can sit down" he softly said, looking around to find a seat. Luckily he spotted a park bench not to far from them.

Cross slowly and gently guided Dream backwards until Dream's legs brushed against the bench and he was able to slowly sit down. He sank his weight against the wooden frame, his limbs felt heavy and his head felt horrible. After a short time he started to adjust. Feeling himself coming back into reality, Shattered adjusted his hold on Luna to make sure he didn't drop her. Cross kneeled in front of them both.

"we can always go home if it's to much for you"

Immediately Dream shock his head, which he regretted a second later as the dizziness ramped.

"no Crossy, we both agreed we needed some time out of the void. ...im sorry that I'm ruining it"

The tall skeleton lightly gripped Dreams shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes.

"you are not ruining anything"

He kissed the bridge of Dreams nose.

"you have made everything in my life better, don't forget that"

A smile ghosted Shattered's face at those words.

"you know.... You're blind, unconditional love for me is really cheesy" he said, his smile turning into a smirk.

"I do try"

The couple shared a laugh and Dream felt himself feel a bit better. He didn't feel great though. The emotions around him where still dizzying.

Behind Cross he could see the market. It truly did look like fun and he felt bad that he'd soured the mood. He continued to rock Luna and she turned around in his arms to burry her face into his chest.

"you should....." Shattered paused as another wave of dizziness hit him "You should go ahead of me, I'll catch up"

"Absolutely not" Cross stated firmly "I will not leave you, I refuse"

"Cross" Dream said in an equally as firmly manner "I can look after myself for 10 minutes, it will be fine..... I want you to go have some fun"

The guard's expression softened and he stood up again, running his hand across the back of his skull unsurely as he did. "I.... I don't know"

Dream rested Luna in his lap and reached his hands out, Cross took them.

"Cross, I want you to go ahead, I'll join you soon, I promise"

Letting go of Dreams hands, Cross sighed. "Alright..... But I'll come back in 15 minutes, if you are still here then we are going home"

Dream nodded slowly "Deal"

After a few more unsure moments Cross started to back away from Dream. He went slowly in order to give Dream time to tell him to stop. After he didn't, Cross turned and walked in the direction of the market.

As Shattered watched Cross walk into the market, he felt his daughter start to fuss in his arms. His golden eye travelled down to her again. She looked a bit confused or upset. Her emotions weren't developed enough to be easily readable by Shattered. But from what he could sense she was distressed by her dad walking away.

He looked back at Cross again, as the guard inspected what seemed to be a stand of various pastries and cakes. There was a sad, yet nostalgic smile on his face.

Shattered watched as he exchanged some words with the vendor and took Celest's little hand and waved it. Clearly he was introducing them. The vendor seemed to coo at the baby a little and Cross straightened up proudly. Probably bragging about something cute Celest had done recently.

After a few more words he put some coins on the counter and was handed a paper bag, containing what Dream had to assume was a pastry of some kind. He waved good bye to the vendor and started to walk away.

As he did, he took his food item out of its bag and went to take a bite. He locked eyes with Dream mid-bite and gave him a slight deer in the headlights look. After finishing taking his bite, he smiled and waved to his lover. Dream waved back.

It was clear from Cross' expression that whatever he was eating was very tasty and it caused Dream to wonder how much food Cross was going to buy tonight.

Luna fussed again as her father and sister got further away.

Luna and Celest had been almost inseparable since day one, Shattered was still a little unnerved by it. They were always most comfortable when together. Knowing this, Dream told himself that Luna was fussing because she was parted from her sister. But another thought came to him.

What if she was sad about Cross leaving?

It was a stupid thing to think, both babies had been apart from Cross before and not responded this way. Yet the thought wouldn't leave him. It was the kind of thought that bounces around your head and burrows into you the moment you try to forget it.

The first time he left them with me for an extended period of time, I'd tried to....

A chill ran over him followed by a long twang of guilt, which caused him to tighten his grip on his daughter. Cross still didn't know about that night and he wasn't sure he could ever tell him. What was wrong with him? He acted like he cherished them these days (or at lest most days), but how could he when he'd thought of doing such a thing? When all he'd felt upon seeing them for the first time was nothing. His eyes stung and threatened to start crying. In that moment he felt tempted to call Cross back and have him wrap his arms around him. But he couldn't. Not while Cross didn't know.

"I'm sorry that I'm not the best parent to you Mi hija"

The words left his mouth as barely even a whisper. They sounded if he'd not been aware he said them. As if he'd not fully intend to say them out loud. His throat was dry and his soul was burning and twisting.

Cross says you are getting better.

One part of him said

But who's to say they will live to see you be better?

He answered to himself.

He felt the fabric of his jacket get tugged slightly. This drew his attention back to Luna.

She had turned in his arms slightly and was looking up at him with wide eyes. If Shattered hadn't known better, he'd have thought he could sense her worrying. Her tiny fist was curled in the fabric of his coat.

"paaaaaa gaa?"

Dream sighed.

"I get a lot of things wrong..... And I'm going to keep getting things wrong, I might be wrong most of the time"

The former guardian continued to speak in a near whisper, his finger stroking the tiny creature's cheek.

"but I'm going to get some things right as well...... And I'll make a deal with you"

Luna's face scrunched up a little. It was almost amusing to see, as if she was thinking really hard.

"if you and your sister keep on fighting, I'll keep on trying" Luna turned her face into his hand and chewed his glove.

"if you stick around long enough, you'll see a day when I get things right most of the time.... You want to see that right?"

"maaaaaa"

"deal?"

"gahhh gahh"

Dream laughed slightly "I'll take that as a yes"

He looked away from her again. Cross had completely disappeared from his view now, probably off stuffing chocolates. Since Dream wasn't someone who needed to eat, he didn't fully understand, but the sweet and warm smells in the air were very pleasant. He'd not eaten a thing for at least two and a half years, maybe he could try a little something. Carefully he slipped the tiny skeleton back into her carrier and fastened her in.

"Should we go check out the market mi pequeña estrella?" he asked, finally getting back to his feet. His daughter gave a gurgle of approval.

"then let's go shall we"

The atmosphere of the market was all together jolly. As he walked into the heart of it, his head throbbed again, but he didn't feel dizzy. He'd adjust to it fully soon.

Despite what he would want to admit, he felt a very slight anxiety without Cross by his side. He was in no way dependent on Cross, but he was so used to having him near, it was strange to have him absent. To not be able to feel his energy or be able to hold his hand.

No Dream! He thought. Don't be such a baby.

He patted his daughters head with his hand absentmindedly, feeling the fabric of her bow slip down slightly as he did. She giggled and a smile creeped onto Dreams face as she did.

A stand caught his eye. It was a stall of what seemed to be jewellery. As many of the stalls were, it was adorned with colourful lights and decorations of all shapes. Though this one in particular stood out to him. He wasn't sure why, but he decided to approach it.

The monster running the stand stiffened as he approached, but he paid it no mind. He could see the jewellery much closer now. Each piece seemed unique and hand made. There were bracelets, earrings, rings and necklaces, shimmering in all different colours. He greatly enjoyed looking over each individual piece, until his eye socket landed on one.

It was a necklace. Gold, set with a blueish purple stone. There was a small crescent charm on the chain as well. Dream stared at it and knitted his eyebrows. For a moment he wasn't sure why it caught his eye. But as he moved his hand up and traced his thumb across the stone, he realised. He then retracted his hand is if he'd been shocked. He stepped back and folded his hands together, but his sight remained locked on it.

Where are you? Are you even still alive?

A long sigh left his mouth as he forced himself to think of something else. But as he turned to walk away, he glanced at it again. It was almost like he couldn't bare to leave it.

I'm being silly, I'm a man, why would I need a necklace anyway?

With that, he tore his eyes away and proceeded to the next stand. As before the monster running it tensed slightly.

This vendor was selling what seemed to be plastic toys and figures. These weren't home made and seemed to be just the same old toys you could buy anywhere. There was doll house items, human figures and animals. He was so busy looking over the collection, that he didn't notice as his daughter reached for her favourite animal. He was only alerted to what she was doing by a slobbery squish sound.

She had suck the head of the toy into her mouth and was chewing on it.

"Luna no!" Shattered said "I don't want to have to buy that"

Carefully his pulled the plastic cow from his daughters mouth. A thin trail of a mix between gloop and saliva followed it. He had no idea how one baby could produce so much spit so fast. He wiped some off on his coat, but it didn't come close to cleaning it. Yeah....... he was going to have to buy it. He had a small purse of gold coins that Cross had given him. He hadn't asked where Cross had gotten the coins, it was probably best not to.

As he handed it to the seller and asked for the price, the slimy coating ran onto his fingers. Yuck. Not that he could really talk though, he was almost completely covered in something worse.

Dream expected to feel anger or disgust come from the stall owner. But instead he could only sense fear. His eye locked with the eyes of the monster behind the counter. It didn't take long for him to realise. Cross might have treated him like he was the most beautiful and sweet skeleton in the multiverse, but that didn't stop his appearance from being...... Striking at best.

He grimaced and handed the monster the money he owed and took back the toy.

"have a nice evening" he said, trying to sound friendly.

"y-you too sir.... Merry Christmas"

He turned away from the stall and walked back into the market. After inspecting the toy to make sure there was nothing small that she could choke on he handed it back to Luna. She happy put it back in her mouth, flicking his hand with her mouth tentacle as she did.

Shattered felt a burst of joy from his daughter, which made him light headed for a moment. After collecting his bearings he smiled.

"Adorable idiot" he said leaning over and kissing the top of her head. "now let's go find Daddy shall we?"

It wasn't a market that was too large, just a fair amount of stalls and stands and a handful of people. There was no doubt that he and Cross stood out, so it shouldn't be to hard to find his partner.

If I where cross.... Where would I go?

The answer came to his mind not even a second after asking it.

Chocolate...

As he'd noted before, there was a vast amount of edibles all around him. Mostly foods of the sweet variety, commonly fruity cakes and pies. But it wasn't long till he saw what he wanted. Out of the corner of his eye socket, he spotted what he was looking for. Just as he'd expected, chocolate.

Humans and normal monsters, seemed to be fascinated in forming chocolate into many different shapes. Animals, people, stars and bells. Shattered supposed that they got more pleasure consuming the sweet substance when it involved biting the head off of a defenceless reindeer, or mutilating a Santa or two.

He approached the stall of chocolate items. It was a pleasant smell, reminding him strongly of Cross' coat. There was no doubt the guard would have come here. He just had to find him.

Meanwhile, as Shattered looked for him, his mate was busy in a hearty conversation with his daughter.

The guard slipped a snowflake shaped chocolate into his mouth, having finished off the pastry long ago.

"now what should be get for Papa as a late birthday present hmm?" he asked Celest as she blew a spit bubble. "Something simple, you know he doesn't like flashy things"

Celest continued to blow a spit bubble and watched it as it expanded. "why is it that he must be so difficult to shop for....

His voice trailed off as he continued to ponder the question. What to get someone who didn't like material things. Other then his scarf, his ring and his crown, Dream never held onto things. Maybe he could get him a new accessory, like a new piece of jewellery or something. He continued to think and slipped another chocolate into his mouth. As he did this, without him noticing, the tiny skeleton had popped the spit bubble and was now reaching for the candy cane sticking out of his shopping bag full of goodies. She grabbed it and without hesitation, plunged the bright stripped stick into her mouth without a care.

After not even a second her face screwed up and she recoiled. She let out a wine of regret and disgust, which alerted Cross that she was distressed.

"No sweetie , that's pepper mint" the guard sighed, plucking the now sticky candy from his daughters hands. He put it on the counter of the stand they were stood next to. A stall selling Christmas fauna such as Holly, pinecones and mistletoe.

As he set the candy down, he saw daughters face still looked unhappy. "that must have tasted horrible" he said, dabbing the spit from around her mouth with his sleeve.

"we'll get you some nice warm milk when we get home ok?" he said in a baby voice, bouncing her slightly to try and cheer her up. It worked and she giggled. Cross sighed in relief, crisis averted.

He thought back to his question about presents. About Dream. It had been a little while since he'd left him. It would probably be a good idea to go back.

"Now if you are done sampling my treat bag Celly, maybe we should go check on-

"hey" came a voice from up close to his left. He jumped. After a second he realised he recognised the voice and turned to meet Dreams gaze, some chocolate still on his cheek. He was about to say something about how it was go to see that Dream was feeling better, when Dream spoke.

"wanna prove you aren't just a 20g wager?" the golden guardian said, with a slightly sly smile.

For a moment Cross was confused. Had the emotions caused his partner to go loopy? Before he could ask, Dream pointed his finger upwards. Feeling more confused, Cross glanced up. He could now see that they were in fact stood under a mistletoe. Quite a few actually. The sight of the white berried plant made his cheeks flush. He'd fallen right into Dream's trap. How had he not noticed.

He swallowed what was left of the snowflake the chocolate in his mouth "uhh um.... Uh"

He locked eyes with Dream again, finding that he'd taken a step closer. Taking a gloved hand and cupping Cross' cheek, he said.

"I'll take that as a yes"

With that he gently pulled Cross' face closer, till the gap was closed between them with a soft kiss. Cross' soul fluttered as Dream leaned in more to kiss him stronger. The taste of chocolate in his mouth was soon replaced with the flavour of bitter apple sauce. But he didn't mind it, he much liked apple sauce. Unfortunately the kiss wasn't long lived. The two were forced to separate after feeling their daughters starting to fuss, since they were being pressed between them. Dream stepped back slightly, giving his children room and took a breath of winter air. The euphoria from the kiss surged through him, as it had been a while since they had and therefore felt really good.

In fact, It had been a while since they'd done a lot of things. Including telling Cross that he........... That's something he needed to fix and fix straight away. His eyes locked on Cross.

"Te quiero, mi soldado" Dream said, with his face dusting gold. He looked away and pulled his scarf over his face slightly.

Cross returned his blush and smiled "yo tambien Te quiero, mi sol"

191 notes · View notes

akillysheel · 3 years

Text

TENUOUS. ❜ ( FINALE! )

Summary: It’s an idea rooted in hope, but an idea nonetheless. Warnings: N/A.

A/N: We’ve officially reached the end of Tenuous. I’ve been working on this story since August and it’s only just been completed tonight. I’m all sorts of emotional, and I hope that at least one person out there will be too. I hope that you’ve enjoyed the ride up until now, and I’ll see y’all in the sequels ( and epilogue, but shhh, that’s extra content ).

Kado Brent. Gage Bernado. Marcy Kinnie.

All names Kuro remembered in some capacity from his years updating the missing persons bulletin board. There were never more than three on there at a time. Huron was too peaceful a place to facilitate a large number of disappearances - and yet, the fact that they needed a board at all was evidence enough that no place in The Aphanta Region was perfect.

In the end, he’d been unable to honour his friend’s final wish, the melancholy quick to set in. It hadn’t taken long for him to leave The Strahvern after Cthugha’s impromptu goodbye. He’d excused himself a measly half hour after, ignoring his coworkers’ insistence that he should stay in favour of trawling back to his office and burying himself in his work. He needed a distraction, and what was a better one than a case file he had yet to read?

Osokin Wright. Anna Elga. Carmen Jordan.

Was it stupid of him to be feeling so blue over somebody that he barely knew? The merriment of the night had been quick to pack its bags and vacate the moment he’d been left alone on the porch. Even while knowing it was coming, he still hadn’t felt prepared for the stark emptiness that followed the rifter’s vanishment. It had happened so fast, too fast-- one moment he’d been smoking, thinking he had more time, and the next he was walking home empty-handed, the path beside him alarmingly vacant.

Grey eyes locked with an empty coffee cup sitting glumly on his desk before he huffed and picked it up, tossing it into the nearby waste bin. It bounced on the rim, then fell onto the floor, much to the sheriff’s chagrin. Cthugha was like him in some ways, and painfully the opposite in others, one of those being that a trail of chaos seemed to follow him wherever he went. Things were never quite the way they were after he was through with them. His toaster had been slightly askew after he’d cremated his four slices of bread in it; his father’s lighter had been put back on a slight tilt; the shot glass he’d handed him at the tavern remained there even after he’d left, neglected by the one who’d drank from it.

And the coffee cups. The damn coffee cups.

All empty, polished off, but left in odd places. On the very edges of desks, as if tempting fate to blow on them; on top of piles of books he’d been sifting through; tucked between different kitchen appliances in the break room, as if a bin wasn’t right there--

Oh yes, it was clinical: Cthugha was a messy pup, but now that he was gone, he almost missed the clutter.

Focus, Kuro. Get your shit together.

Celeste Harris. Mary Belle. Jack Swan.

To her credit, Cross had been meticulous with her compiled research while he’d been busy reuniting Connor with the remains of his deceased daughter ( and saving the Universe, but that was beside the point in his line of work - it was never about the world, it was about the centimetre that he could shift it ). The file in his hands was several dozens of pages thick, a sturdy wad of paper he could flip through like he might a light afternoon novel. He hadn’t even opened it beyond the first page yet. Behind a disclosure stapled to the front detailing that the documents were to be viewed only by restricted personnel in Huron’s Task Force, there was simply a list of sixteen names with page numbers specified.

Dear Raku, there’s over a hundred pages, Kuro noted, praying there and then that some of the compiled information would prove helpful.

Stella Walt. Kazaa Yong. Anita Finley.

He didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or the persistent existentialism lodged tightly in his brain, but Kuro felt hopeless as he read the remaining names. It was a feeling that never really went away, but most of the time it was manageable - or nullified, due to continued exposure. Far away, in the same way that adrenaline made fear feel in the heat of the moment. It wasn’t healthy, not even practical, but becoming accustomed to such an immovable vacuum seemed the only way to combat the intense feelings of worthlessness inside; sort of a means of making peace with them, letting them inhabit him in exchange for a relatively productive life in spite of their existence. The equivalent of praying that a lump would just go away on its own.

… but while Cthugha had been there, he’d felt useful.

Maybe that was it. Maybe he didn’t miss Cthugha; perhaps he missed the purpose he’d woken up with while he’d been around. Everything had felt so clear-cut, so obvious, and each day had presented him with a new objective. He’d felt as if he was contributing to something greater, as if he was making a difference to the world for the first time in his life, and it'd felt good. It was a selfish reason to miss someone, but he was only huro. He had nobody to impress with moral grandstanding-- even in spite of the title he'd earned.

If that was the case though, why did he miss the annoyances of dealing with him? The snark, the mess and the begrudging presence confined to his kitchen while he got a few hours of sleep upstairs, his malignant impatience palpable through the floorboards. Now that they were gone, he--

Fer fuck's sake, he thought, beating the heel of his palm dully against his forehead. He felt the thoughts in his head jostle around like pennies in a tin before everything fell silent. Get your shit together. Fuckin' focus.

Gillian Expatrite. Henry Bos. Mia Vanton.

Involuntarily, he felt his heart seize up as he read the final name, his world's axis suddenly tilting off-kilter. No. No. NO.

Olivia Brannon.

"Why?" He found himself asking nobody, his otherwise empty office offering nothing back. Right, Cthugha wasn’t there anymore. His mind cast back to when the rifter had first visited him, reviewing his notes on the board with little more than a resigned hum. In passing, too - as if he’d already known the outcome before reading everything that he’d spent months piecing together.

You never find that one, by the way.

He supposed that now the timeline had been changed, Mia's remains causing another fifteen people's to snowball into existence, he had - but he wasn't happy about it. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be her? She was barely an adult, still in the throes of a university course that would have seen her qualified to be a lawyer. He could have been working with her ten, twenty years down the line. A quiet rage sparked to life in his chest, rising from the depths of his nihilism and into the rugged hands of effort. If nothin’ matters anyway, then surely I should do my best t’find who did this. T’be a good person. Olivia wasn’t even that long ago. Maybe I can start with her.

With purpose, Kuro rose from his seat and stalked towards the whiteboard, wheeling it close to his desk as he perched on the end of it. The notes that he and his team had made regarding where best to search for clues still remained, some of the words dashed and fading. Right, that was a week ago.

With a wide swipe of his arm, he cleared the board and retrieved a nearby pen, perching on the edge of his desk as he picked up the paper and flipped to the last few pages, skim reading the relevant subheadings quickly. The case details felt as if they were refreshing in his mind, brought to the forefront after a month or two of collecting dust.

The squeak of his pen felt eerie in the otherwise silent office, notes taken as if he was nothing more than a diligent schoolboy. In comparison to how he’d felt six hours ago, emboldened by Cthugha’s insistence that he’d saved the world, he felt that that was all he was: a brainless child who’d grown too big for his boots, even if only temporarily. Why were good feelings always so quick to leave him?

Olivia Brannon, 19, studying law. Her parents owned a bakery. Her boyfriend was a young man from Vide who had been attending a university in Huron, his course being in fine arts. Their wild difference in both district and degrees had made some people skeptical of their relationship, but they were approaching their second anniversary without complications. They’d met at a common room event.

There was a lot that he didn't know about the state of the killer's affairs, but if the pattern was still there, there would be no remains of Mia save for her horns. No body. Nothing to ID. No mess. The only things he had were the testimonies from the people in her life - and he'd already interviewed those it concerned when she'd first gone missing.

Hopeless.

He flung the file down onto his desk with more force than necessary, feeling the determination he’d scraped together just minutes ago gradually seep out of him. He felt it drip from his beaten resolve like thick black paint, colourless and void. He envisioned it pooling around his feet, forming a bottomless pit that he’d steadily sink into, submerged beneath its gloopy depths. He’d drown - and he knew that he’d ultimately be thankful for it.

Are you fucking serious? The only thing I can do for Brannon’s family is give them their daughter's horns to bury? That's it?

There was something staggering about that realisation-- something that made him feel winded, like he could cry and not stop for hours. He wasn’t supposed to be this useless. He was supposed to be able to help people. He was supposed to be dependable. He was supposed to be infallible when it came to his work.

You stupid piece of shit. Can’t y’do anythin’ right?

He was falling inside of himself. His mind was beginning to rebel - and he couldn't deal with that. Not tonight. Tomorrow was a new day, a new chance to try, try, try again, but tonight was horrible. Gloomy. Empty. Sad. The edge looked all too inviting, and that was a sign that he needed to sleep. Quickly.

Go home, his mind whispered. Go home and get the rest of the way drunk. Forget about all this, just for tonight. It’s a bust anyway.

For once, he could see himself listening.

"So you found 'em then?" "Yeah. In the end."

The beds in the Continuum Command had never been that comfortable, but they were all he knew. As he kicked his boots off and laid back on the spongy mattress, he found himself struggling to settle. The alcohol in his system was making him feel antsy - doubly so now that Max was there, visiting him after months of being MIA. If he noticed, ( which was doubtful, given how much of a loudmouth he was ), he didn't say anything about it.

"You were gone so long, man. There was talk about finding somebody to replace you." His brother let out a snort, his boot scuffing against the cold floor. "Lots of sweating about that. Even your faction leader was panicking"

Cthugha scoffed. "Unlikely. She wants me gone."

"You know, I don't think so. I think you just want to think that she thinks that."

Momentarily, Cthugha picked his head up from the pillow, glaring daggers at him so sharp that Max physically recoiled. Firmly: "She wants me gone."

"Okay, okay! Yeesh…"

Cthugha rolled over, his back to his brother. Normally, he had the energy for him, but tonight felt different. Heavier than usual. And he certainly didn't feel relieved to be back in his pod. It was small, barely big enough to house his bed and a square desk, the lighting fluorescent and ugly. White, white, white, and sharp-cornered as hell. Hardly a welcoming spectacle.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." There was a quiet pause before he rolled onto his back with a sigh. "... I don't know." He felt lonesome in a way that he didn't like, and the light-- this ugly, artificial glare-- made him long for Huron's sun again. Not the heat, no, but the glow of morning. The canary lilt of Fall. "... do you ever miss the places ya visit?"

"Sometimes. I once went to a place that was just a huge casino, day in, day out. I miss that place."

"Because it was pretty? The lights--"

"No, duh, 'cause of the gambling."

"Oh." Cthugha made a face, then heaved out a sigh. He supposed he’d walked right into that one, hadn’t he? He knew better than to expect poignance from him. He blamed the time he’d spent away; it had brought with it an unfounded rustiness that would be quick to vanish as he settled back into his average routine. "... it's not the same."

Max frowned, then rose from his seat on the floor and moved to the edge of Cthugha’s bed. With an astounding lack of grace, he crawled head-first into his legs, forcing them up and over his back before he arranged his lanky limbs into a cross-legged sit, his brother’s legs in his lap. “This isn’t like you,” he said, noting Cthugha’s pinched brow. Disdain. He recognised that look all too well. “You never care about the places you go. Do you know how many times I’ve tried to get you to stay a little longer, only for you to refuse?”

“Yes, it’s almost like I was there when I reacted like that,” he drawled drily, ignoring the pinch that Max administered to his shin. “... I’m happy I succeeded. Ya know how violence spreads. First Huron, then Vide-- ‘n’ then who knows where else? It might have been a slow apocalypse, but an apocalypse nonetheless. Mutually assured destruction ‘n’ all that. People just can’t get enough of killing each other for some reason.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek, a kink forming in his brow. He was tired of thinking about Huron fondly. Already - and he’d barely been gone for an hour. “But it was different there. I felt like… I was part of something, ya know?”

“Mm… no, I don’t get it,” Max replied, shaking his head. “Besides, you don’t need to be a part of anything. You’re above all that!”

“Sometimes I don’t want to be,” he muttered sullenly, feeling discouraged. Most of the time, Max was able to realign his focus, bring him back to what was truly important, but this time there was something missing - a mutual lack of understanding. His head felt no clearer than it had before he’d started talking, and he was still pining for the familiarity of Huron’s soil. I hate this shit. This is so dumb. “What’s the point of being above everything? That just means you’re alone forever. Ya just drift aimlessly in the ether while everybody else enjoys themselves.”

“Woah! Okay!” Max’s hands drummed against Cthugha’s knees, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. “This is new! Do you wanna know my guess?”

“No.”

“I think you met someone!” He jabbed a finger in his brother’s direction, looking smug. “Who are they?”

“Oh, you’re stupid,” Cthugha snapped spitefully, no longer permitting touch as he drew his legs to his chest. With his back firmly pressed to the blank wall behind him, he glared sourly, his feet squared as if he wanted to stamp. “I’m having an existential episode and all ya can think about is whether I got some action or not?!”

“... well, did you?”

“MAX.”

Much to his annoyance, Max burst out into laughter, his hands waving frantically. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was somewhat envious of his carefree nature. What he wouldn’t give to be that thoughtless, even just for a day.

“Alright, alright… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” But it was said in that tone that implied he was anything but. All he was missing was the theatrical finger-waggle of a dastardly comic supervillain. “But then why do you care? Surely it’s not the best place you’ve ever gone.”

That much was true. He’d seen wonders far beyond most people’s wildest dreams. Realms locked within the stars. Pocket dimensions that were home to some of the most intricate fantasies he’d ever experienced. Astral Planes littered with wispy constellations and liquid gold.

… but Huron was special in its own right.

It had taken him a while to appreciate the finer things in the district. Initially, he’d found it difficult to navigate such a technologically-stunted place, all too used to the fluidity of an automated experience. The people of this Universe were all about making things easier for themselves. Being forcefully thrust into the arms of a place so quiet and humble had forced him to return to his roots, to be innovative and resourceful in ways he thought he’d all but forgotten.

The nature was gorgeous; the food, even in his limited experience, was to die for; and, perhaps most importantly of all, the people were good. If there was one thing that Huron exuded above all else, it was togetherness. Everybody helped one another. They were the only district that he knew of that had been kind enough to open its borders to its neighbours thus far. Not even Kuro’s somewhat wry recount of how The Crossover had come to be was enough to take away from the fact that it had happened. In a world where nobody mixed, where everybody was contained within their own district limits, such a fact was beautiful. Awe-inspiring, even.

“Sometimes ya just find a good place,” he finally said, his finger circling his knee thoughtfully, his eyes now pensive and tired. “And when ya see the things that I do, ‘n’ know the things that I know, ya just wanna cling to them. Reminds ya there's something good out there - that everythin’ I do as a rifter isn’t for nothing. Some people aren’t thankless. Some people adore the beauty that surrounds them and they recognise that it’s fragile, something to cherish. They try their hardest to preserve it. Huron was full of people like that.”

He was starting to think, the wheels in his head turning rapidly. He’d been looking long and hard for a place to use as a neutral middle-ground between him and his work in the Continuum Command for eons now, but no place he’d found had satisfied him enough. Some argued that he was too particular, that he was searching for the equivalent of Atlantis, but he’d never put much stock into the opinions of those who were content to stay in a place that contributed to the Balance’s unrest.

That’s unfair, his mind whispered. It’s not like they know. But they could. If they worked harder.

“Y’know, I think you’ve had a very… difficult time and you should try to get a little rest,” Max said belatedly, looking somewhat uncomfortable. Not the type to choose his words carefully in the slightest, it was clear that he was stalling as he fought to be considerate. “I think, with a little sleep--”

“I don’t need sleep, Max, I need to get out of here.”

“-- I think you’ll realise that the things you’re feeling are just-- remnants of the time you’ve spent there,” he finished, trying not to let himself give into frustration. Every time he’d tried to get Cthugha to confide in him about his seemingly precarious situation, he buttoned up quicker than a man caught in a snowstorm. You said no secrets, yet you don’t tell me anything anymore. “You’ll realise you’re being silly.”

“Silly,” Cthugha echoed, his forehead becoming the equivalent of notebook paper. Scorned, he averted his gaze. There wasn’t much that felt worse than being infantilised by his own brother. “... I think I want to be alone,” he mumbled, arranging himself so that he was laying down, facing the wall, his tail draped lazily over the edge of the bed. His head found solace in the flat pillow beneath it, though he was quickly disgruntled by the age that had laced itself into the fabric. Right. He’d been gone for months. He’d have to change them tomorrow.

“Aw, c’mon Gha-Gha. Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad. I’m tired.” And with all he’d been through, he really couldn’t tell if that was a lie or not.

“Okay! Well, um, I’ll-- I’ll leave you be for the night. We’ll talk in the morning, right?”

“Right.” Even without looking at him, Cthugha knew that Max was fidgeting, looking guilty even, and he couldn’t bring himself to console him. Instead, he waited until he was left alone to roll onto his back, heaving out a defeated sigh. After a moment of consideration, he raised his hands and clapped, the garish lights switching off and plunging him into darkness a moment later.

Could I do it? Could I use Huron as my middle-point? Or are things too personal there?

It was an idea rooted in hope, but an idea nonetheless. No matter what he did, he’d never be able to leave the CC completely behind. It hadn’t been his home for as long as he could remember, but it was the place that gave him all of his information. Without access to the message boards-- to the top secret missions located within the heart of the Command-- he’d never be able to decipher oncoming doomsdays. He’d never be able to combat them. He’d never be able to keep opposing Galahad.

Overcome with a sudden helplessness, Cthugha squeezed his eyes shut, heart beating painfully in his chest. He didn’t cry - but if he did, he might have. The sense of loss he felt, though profound, was near impossible for him to explain. Even to himself.

Maybe Max was right. Maybe he was being silly. Maybe he was chasing flights of fancy because he resented the way that things were - but damn it, was that so bad? Was it evil of him to want better for himself? Was it stupid to be tired of a system that betrayed him? He’d argue no. If anything, it was more foolish to serve a cause that actively chased his demise. What was asinine was not being tired of it.

The heels of his palms dug into his eyes, firmly, then hard, dark blotches blurring his vision long after he’d pulled them away.

Sleep now. Forget about it for tonight and rest. You can figure things out tomorrow.

Begrudgingly, his eyes fell closed, the thoughts in his head still buzzing like flies.

Cthugha had no doubt that there would be a new apocalypse for him to tackle soon. Perhaps not tomorrow, and perhaps not even the day after that, but soon. Peace never lasted long. The Balance was simultaneously the strongest thing in the Universe and the most tenuous road he’d walked - and he’d do all he could to preserve it, from now until the end of time.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #original story #fandomless oc story #tenuous #cthugha #kuro #tenuous ;#cthugha ;#kuro ;

7 notes · View notes

charzoid · 3 years

Text

Opinion on Kaito’s hero persona

Just a random thing that I felt like sharing due to how much I see it brought up in fics, fanart, and blog posts. Kaito is my favorite character in the whole series so I wanted throw my 2 cents in the ring on this subject. Despite him being my favorite I’m aware kaito has his flaws but no character in this franchise has zero flaws besides Celest’s cat. Possibly.

Shuich and Maki’s faith: I tend to see a lot of people complain that Shuichi and Maki got to easily fooled by him in thinking he was truly as strong as he believed but I think it was a bit of the opposite. Examples:

This line to me when they discover his fear of ghosts to me says they do acknowledge his boldness is an act to an extent but they don’t fully buy it. That along with this line:

They acknowledge that he’s overconfident and an actor of sorts. Their attitude was less to me as buying anything said like the gospel truth and more of seeing it as for the most part harmless. I think people really don’t give them enough credit for being aware of kaito’s mask.

The reason I think they never really say or do about is with them being wrapped up in their own heads in worry they didn’t think about how him acting could lead to anything bad. As much as he cares for them I will say they were a bit neglectful as friends for this.

Neither Shuichi or maki seem like the type to have had many friendships or at least very close ones. Maki had at least one close friend in her past while Shuichi allegedly had a few random guys he knew from the flashbacks. We can assume though they weren’t very communicative in either though. Not excusing them but just one way to look at it. Kaito leadership: On a slightly different note I think people over inflate or just plain miss that kaito himself doesn’t see himself as that big a deal despite titling himself the hero. In the investigations he pointedly has shuichi doing the leg work not to gloat that he did it but so Shuichi could put himself in charge without feeling the pressure of the position. Of course there’s also this little line to.

“You fell for a guy like me!” Doesn’t sound like something somebody with much respect for themselves would say. He likes feeling useful but knows he can only be so useful in the long run so he tries helping those with more useful abilities use them.

That’s pretty much all I can think to say for now so I’ll just leave it at this.

#kaito momota #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #rant #Second Opinion #spoilers

15 notes · View notes

hongism · 4 years

Text

mists of celeste ➻ part 0.5

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, eventual smut ➻ Word Count: 4.1k ➻ Rating: M ➻ Warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you

⇐ previous | next ⇒

mists of celeste act one ➻ part 0.5

“Bullshit! You’re a liar and a cheat!” San cries out, slamming his hand of cards down against the metal table. The others around him cackle at his reaction while the man on the receiving end of San’s fuming words lifts his chin higher.

“I said straight flush! Is that not what this is?” Jongho laughs in response. He waves his bundle of cards before San’s eyes in attempts to mock him, and San smacks his hand away with a huff.

Hongjoong watches on from a distance, standing at the threshold of the mess hall and watching his crew interact with amusement dancing across his features. Mingi stands at his side and watches on as well, although Hongjoong knows the man doesn’t understand the humor behind the scene all too well. It’s not often that they have nights like these. Most are spent in the chaos of a new lead or recovery from a tough mission. His crew has earned the break though, and they’ll need it for what’s to come. Hongjoong knows that. It doesn’t mean he’ll partake in the festivities himself though. He would rather watch on from a distance, Mingi’s cold presence at his side. It’s what he’s used to.

“Have I mentioned how much I hate this damn game?” San grumbles. He slumps forward and shoulders drop in defeat.

“Only every single fucking time we play.” Yunho’s elbow digs into San’s side, teasing the younger man further.

“Then we should get a different game, for fuck’s sake!”

“It’s not our fault that you’re bad at poker, San.” It’s Yeosang who cuts in this time. He shakes his head ever so slightly as he pushes his own cards onto the table, struggling a bit thanks to Wooyoung’s proximity at his side. “Or that Jongho seems to have a ridiculous aptitude for the game.”

“You’re one to talk, shithead! As I recall, you lose every single time we play too!” San pushes up from his seat. His elbow nearly knocks Seonghwa in the eye as he moves, and the lieutenant has to dodge to the side before he gets clocked. San points an accusing finger at Yeosang’s blank expression; the blonde-haired Elitist just blinks back with little to no interest.

“The difference being I don’t throw a tantrum when I do.”

“A tantrum? Oh, you’re in for it.”

“Now, now!” Seonghwa presses a hand to San’s arm in attempts to placate the man. “This is why we can’t have game nights. You two always end up bickering an–”

“Because he’s a self-righteous asshole!”

“You’re the only person causing issues right now, San. Before you go pointing fingers, maybe you should check the mirror.”

Hongjoong shouldn’t laugh at the exchange of words, but he can’t help but release a small chuckle as he listens on. Mingi’s gaze shifts to him; he feels the heat of the Berserker’s stare on his head, but he neglects to speak.

“Should I step in, Captain?” Mingi asks when Hongjoong doesn’t say anything.

“No, no. Seonghwa has it handled. Besides, they aren’t being serious.” Hongjoong lifts a hand only to wave it through the air twice and drop it back to his side.

“Understood, sir.” Mingi’s form goes rigid again. He stands just behind Hongjoong like a statue, and if the captain didn’t understand him better he would ask what the hell he’s doing. It’s Mingi though, and there are many mysteries in his behavior. Hongjoong has merely learned what is okay and what isn’t. That’s all he needs.

A sigh passes through his lips. He’s zoned out and missed parts of the exchange before him, but it seems to still be meaningless bickering rather than anything serious.

“You’re dismissed for the night, Mingi.”

“C-Captain?”

“I’ve got some paperwork to take care of. You can head to bed or ask to join a few games.” Hongjoong turns on his heel to leave the mess hall, and Mingi mimics his movements. His jaw stutters as he watches his captain move. “That’s meant to be an order, Mingi.”

Hongjoong hates to pull that card on the man. He wouldn’t do it if he had any other choice though. Mingi simply cannot function without hearing orders spew in his direction. A work in progress, it’s just a work in progress. Hongjoong has to remind himself of that fact on the daily almost.

“Goodnight, Mingi.”

“G-Goodnight, Captain.”

He still hasn’t managed to get the Berserker to use his first name though. That’s something he’s not sure he can do. At least it doesn’t stop him from trying.

“Hongjoong.”

“I-I, right. Yes. Hongjoong.” Mingi nods, and Hongjoong watches the man with careful eyes. He sends a smile his way, which Mingi does not return, then steps away from the mess hall without listening to the rest of the chaos going on in there.

He should enjoy these moments of silence. They are hard to come by, few and far between, but even so, Hongjoong can’t help but feel lonely. It’s silly and childish – he is well aware of that – yet he wishes he could just let go and be carefree like the rest of the crew.

He walks on in silence, eyes trained on the floor, and reaches the bridge in no time. It’s quiet and empty when he gets there. Nothing like how things used to be. Crewmates used to be everywhere at any given time. Some here, some there. There was hardly ever a time when Hongjoong could find some peace and quiet on the damn ship. Now it seems like that’s all he ever gets.

According to his wristband, it’s late but when you’re in space, you can never tell the difference. Hongjoong lingers at the starboard window and looks out into the vast expanse before him. It’s bright thanks to the sun at the center of the galaxy, and despite the time, Hongjoong doesn’t feel tired in the slightest.

“You disappeared quickly.” It’s Seonghwa’s voice that resounds behind him. Hongjoong nearly laughs; he’s not surprised at all that the lieutenant left shortly after he did.

“I take it you managed to quell San?”

“Just enough to keep him from socking Yeosang in the throat, yes.”

“That’s good…” Hongjoong trails off. Maybe he’s a bad captain for leaving when he did, maybe he should have stayed and been the one to break up the fight, maybe he’s not doing his job properly. So many maybes in his life and so few certainties. That’s how it’s always been. Of course things are this way. All because of his own choices. The crew fears him – rightfully so – and Hongjoong knows when to use that fear to his advantage. Manipulation, as some would call it. It’s just the way things are.

“Joong.” Seonghwa’s voice is soft and spoken in a quiet tone, but it sounds so loud in Hongjoong’s ears. The lieutenant has stepped closer to him, joining him by the starboard window, but he doesn’t admire the view before him the way Hongjoong does. No, he looks at Hongjoong and Hongjoong only.

“I should’ve stayed to break up the fight myself. Talked San down. That would’ve been a good idea.”

“Hey, you–”

“Am I a bad captain?”

“Not at all.” Seonghwa responds with haste, no hesitation in his tone, and when Hongjoong glances over at him, the lieutenant bears a serious expression. He knows Seonghwa isn’t lying – all his faults, yet the man couldn’t lie to Hongjoong even if his life depended on it. Sometimes Hongjoong wishes he were the same. “You are a good captain, Hongjoong.”

“Yea… yea, I know that.” The words are spoken without confidence though, and it’s easy to see through the lie. Seonghwa lifts a hesitant hand, resting it on Hongjoong’s shoulder. The touch is feather-light as is the gleam in Seonghwa’s eyes. If Hongjoong blinked he would miss it, but he doesn’t trust himself to decipher the emotion in Seonghwa’s eyes.

“We’re heading to Eros. I think I can–”

“Cut the business talk for one night, Joong. Just… let go a little.”

“I can’t afford to do that.”

“You can and–”

“I can’t afford to do that, Hwa.”

“I know, Joong, I know. It won’t happen again.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know that I trust you as my captain. I know that I trust the crew as my crewmates, my brothers in arms. I know that I can rely on you and rely on them. I can say with confidence that it won’t happen again because the people here are more than that.”

“Jin was more than that too though.”

“We thought he was.”

“Then we can think the same about everyone here!” Hongjoong protests. He shrugs Seonghwa’s touch away and takes a step back from the man. It’s a sudden burst of anger and frustration, and the emotions roll off his shoulders in waves. Seonghwa’s jaw stutters at Hongjoong’s sudden outburst. He doesn’t say anything for a few moments, just staring back at the man with sad eyes and a sad expression. Hongjoong hates it. He hates it more than anything. The way Seonghwa almost pities him. Pities him. “You trusted Jin too.”

“I did.”

“I-I…”

Seonghwa steps towards Hongjoong again, and this time, he grabs the short captain by the shoulders and pulls him against his chest. Hongjoong can barely see over the man’s arms, eye level with his chest. This isn’t like him. He’s not normally so weak. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, why his emotions are in such disarray, why he can’t think straight. Maybe he does need a break. God knows when the last one he had was.

“I’m worried, Hwa,” he admits after a minute in the awkward embrace. Seonghwa’s arms tighten around him.

“I know you are.”

“I’m worried about Jongho. He’s so young and – and I wonder if I’m putting him down the wrong path.”

“You aren’t.”

“A-And Yunho. I know he doesn’t want to be here, if he could be anywhere else he would, I just know it.”

“He’s here because he wants to be.”

“Yeosang too. Half the time I think he would go straight back to the military if they would take him. He’s only here for Wooyoung, to protect Wooyoung, to just keep Wooyoung safe. Not because he wants to be.”

“He trusts your judgment more than he lets on, Joong.”

“And fuck… Wooyoung. What am I – how do I even – I fear for Wooyoung so much. I’m scared of becoming like his old masters or hurting him. I-I’m scared of breaking his trust.”

“You do more to protect him and keep him safe than everyone else. Even Yeosang. You won’t hurt him or become like his old masters. You won’t.”

“Mingi. Oh God, Mingi. I don’t – where do I start with Mingi? I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to him. He needs someone to lead him, guide him, teach him. I can only… order him around because I think it’s what he wants.”

“You’re doing your best, Joong. That’s more than enough. Just trying is enough.”

“San.” Hongjoong pauses to gnaw on his lower lip. “I fear the most for San. What am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know how to fix him. I need to fix him. I need to help him. I just have to do something.”

“None of us do, Hongjoong. I tried, Yunho tried. You tried harder than both of us combined. You’re still trying. That’s enough. Joong, listen to me: that’s enough.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“I know it doesn’t but I promise you it is.”

“Okay…”

“Joong.” Seonghwa pulls back a little to look Hongjoong in the eye. He detects the hesitance and denial in his tone with ease; Seonghwa has always been good at seeing straight through him.

“I’m worried about you,” Hongjoong spits out without thinking. The lieutenant pauses, eyes going wide upon hearing Hongjoong’s words, and he must lose his train of thought because he says nothing more. “Are you here because you want to be? Do you want to leave? Are you happy being Lieutenant? Do you even want to be Lieutenant? Did you want to leave with the rest the first time? Second time? Third? There are so many uncertainties.”

“I’m here because I want to be. I don’t want to leave. I am your friend first, and your lieutenant second. Being Lieutenant gives me purpose. Makes me happy. I have never once wanted to leave this ship or this crew. I have never once wanted to leave you, Joong.”

“I-I’m just… tired.” Both Seonghwa and Hongjoong know the meaning behind the words, and he doesn’t need to explain it further for Seonghwa to understand.

“I know. I know, Joong, I know. We’ll rest soon. We’re so close.”

“Yea. Yea, okay.”

“You know, we never cracked open that bottle of brandy from Aera. Special edition?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Trying to get you to let go a little.”

“Fine.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll actually keep you from jumping out the airlock for a spacewalk this time.”

“I thought we agreed to never talk about that again.”

“It was funny! Especially since we were on the ground. A very nice attempt at a spacewalk. Facefirst on the ground. How did the dirt taste again?”

“Like your ass,” Hongjoong spits out, shoving Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“Oh, Captain! Are you trying to tell me something? If you wanted–”

“Shut the fuck up, you little shit.”

“You’re the little one, Joong. Don’t forget that.”

“I can’t since you’re always here to remind me.”

“Someone has to keep you in check.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too, Captain.”

“Hwa…”

“Joong… is this some sort of new game?”

“No, shut up. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank me after you’ve had two shots and get drunk.”

“I take it back.”

✧✧✧ a/n: okie dokie hi surprise im back super soon with another extra interim chapter only because I got uber excited to post it and I hope you guys enjoy ;-; this one is all about our lovely captain, a little look into him and his relationship with seonghwa, but the next one will be about yeosang and wooyoung's relationship I think so be on the lookout for that one 👀👀

taglist: @faeriewoobin @sugarrimajins @atinyinwonderland @2504-life @lil7bluedragon @sparklychangbin @jeong-uwu @jeonartemis @anothershorthuman @xxbluestrifexx @saturatedsan @haotheheckk

289 notes · View notes

wendyblanquelg-writes · 4 years

Text

Women as priests? Not I.

The first time I went to church was when I was baptized, but I don’t really remember attending mass for the first few years. As toddlers, we may remember glimpses of our babyhood yet not until the age of about five or six is when we start to retain all of our memories. My earliest memory is waking up at the crack of dawn on the queen sized bed I shared with my mom and seeing she wasn’t next to me. I might’ve been about five or so, and the sky outside was a bit cloudy; I now assume it must’ve been near the end of summer and the beginning of fall when tiny me saw the world through a new lens. I had climbed out of the covers, jumped to the floor, and ran to my grandma’s room in fear of being alone and in almost utter darkness by myself. That’s all I remember about that day.

I’ll never forget the first time my mom took me to church with the intention of having me fall in love to committing to God. Oh, did I become enamored with the beautiful architecture, stained glass windows, gold chalices, chronologically placed images of Jesus being crucified, angelic ceiling paintings, the twinkling lights that scream Christmas, and the smiling people who made me feel welcomed and appreciated. My mom’s only wish was complete: God had me in his hand—hypnotized in the idea of having someone love and care for me unconditionally my whole life.

Before mass, my mom had been telling me for days about taking me to church where we can pray with others and not just each other before bed. She went on about who God is, Jesus being his son, and I, his new follower. Never was I told off the bat that sinning was a grand deal to God or the church, probably because I was innocent at the time. Going to mass sounded like the dream, a second home that wasn’t Mexico, a new part of my life that I was ready to venture on like so many Disney characters did in their heroic plots.

That Sunday morning I woke up at 7am ready to get changed. Our church is a block over from us so we walked down to the alley and took the broken gravel road straight to the golden doors which were slightly cracked, being held open by an older man. My mom’s hand held mine tightly as we entered and she reached over to the wall where water was held. She dipped her finger in it, signed the cross on her forehead then did the same to me. It smelled funny but homely, I loved it. Every person I seemed to look at would look back at me happily as if they’d been expecting me my whole life. The lights dazzled me, the recurring kneeling, standing, and sitting movements wowed me, the united dialogue made everyone sound interconnected, and my first la paz, “peace be with you,” was my welcome home. After people shook my hand I couldn’t stop looking at it and felt the pain and love from everyone I had ever touched—truly magical. I was home.

You can expect my mom’s happiness over the years of my love for mass, learning my prayers, excelling in catechism school, and my good behavior from knowing I’d be punished by God if I were a bad child. By the age of 8, I knew what I wanted to be in life: a priest. In my heart I felt like God’s favorite, his teaching being my calling, his followers being my new family, our love being one.

I was devoted, yet when I told my mom my dream, she smiled and said,

“That’s great, but there are only male priests.”

“But why?”

“That’s how it is,” was all she said. I was so confused.

I later brought it up to my grandpa and he said in Spanish,

“That’s outrageous, that’s crazy, you can’t be a priest. Priests are and SHOULD only be men.”

How is it that after my long three to four years of devotion and love to God was not enough for me to be a priest? I once asked a priest if I could one day hold his position. He looked uncomfortable with a tinge of anger when he said no, but that I could work in other parts of the church to help. I was unsatisfied with everyones answer and God especially, for not letting me be what I wanted to be. I didn’t fight them on their answers nor stopped loving church for a few years either. I still wanted to be the person everyone came to for confession, to alleviate them from their stress and sins, to read and lecture people on the word of God, to host fundraisers and events to help the poor, to continue studying until I was close to God himself. There simply wasn’t a door for me to enter into priesthood. Even the word ‘priest’ sounded specifically male to me after a while, like the sound of each syllable denied a woman to take hold of its title. The word became bitter in my mouth.

I started reading Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and many other books that questioned religion. Did Jesus actually marry Mary Magdalene and have a secret child? Were the scripts lying and the men in the priesthood hiding the truth of our famously loved icons? Is God real? Are there really non-believers who do not go to Hell? I thought everyone believed in Him, was I his favorite who was supposed to question his authority and change the church’s establishment? No, instead, I started detaching myself from my second home after not being fully welcomed after all. I didn’t want to be a nun, or a receptionist, or the woman who went around during mass with a clipboard taking attendance; I wanted to be more, to help more. I tried to stop loving Him.

Throughout high school and college I’ve gained an interest in learning about Catholicism, I wasn’t sure why. From what I learned my sophomore year in a theology class, only men are ordained as priests because Jesus only chose men as his apostles. When I read that, it made sense to me only because at that time women were not allowed to hold any position of power. Women were still handed over to their husbands by their families, much less would society had taken them, or Jesus, seriously because gender equality was an outrageous concept to them. Was it possible that Jesus did not want to risk women being mistreated more than they already were, by being made an apostle? Men might’ve shrugged off Jesus’ teachings if they saw something out of the norm being used: women. We might never know. What I came to find, was that through all my research I only wanted to find the flaws in God’s word and written history, to find an answer that said, “I’m right, God’s right, but the church’s institution is wrong.” I became angry at being denied by humans who thought they could tell me I couldn’t help God, not God himself.

In an article by the National Catholic Reporter, Polish Roman Catholic priest and Theologian of the Papal Household, Wojciech Giertych, was asked why women cannot be priests. He said that no one can say why Jesus chose who he did to share his teachings, and that “The son of God became flesh, but became flesh not as sexless humanity but as a male,” and that since priests are to be the image of Christ, “[priests’] maleness is essential to that role.” He later says that some parts of being with the church call for having and loving the church in a “male way,” where men apparently “show concern about structures, about the buildings of the church, about the roof of the church which is leaking, about the bishops’ conference, about the concordat between the church and the state.” Anyone, really anyone, can admire the archaic structures of holy houses, just like I did. I fell in love with the church also because of the Roman Catholic church architecture, so it mustn’t be a “male way,” but a “in-tune with the world and details way” where one doesn’t just go into a building with no attention to what’s around, but takes in everything. That isn’t male, it’s human.

The theologian does mention that women’s mission in the church is “beautiful” nonetheless because they touch God and Jesus’s heart differently. They encounter Jesus with faith, charity, approaching, touching, and kissing Jesus’ feet. Luckily, Giertych did acknowledge that “a Catholic woman might sincerely believe she is called to the priesthood, said such a “subjective” belief does not indicate the objective existence of a vocation,” I suppose that’s me? I, who felt entitled and deserving of being a priest is a, I guess you can call, reasonable idea or thought, but simply can’t be because the position doesn’t exist. I see now.

Vogue published a piece in 2018 about seven women being ordained Catholic priests by two bishops on June 29, 2002. This act was looked down upon by the Church and the women, the “Danube Seven,” were excommunicated from the church after refusing to nullify their ordination. Many priests were upset, some of the women’s priest superiors told them “that their sin in being ordained was equal to a clergy member sexually abusing a child.” Despite these comments, many of the women claimed that they felt spiritually awakened and called to the church—just how I was many years ago—and continue their religious path with pride.

Now there is an emerging movement and group that advocates, supports, and ordains women as Roman Catholic priests: the Roman Catholic Women Priests (RCWP). Their movement supporting women has gone international, reaching and ministering women in over 34 states, Canada, Europe, South & Central America, South Africa, the Philippines and Taiwan. Many men are also part of the movement to grow this new chapter in Catholic history. The first women ordained initiated this movement: Iris M��ller, Ida Raming, Pia Bruner, Dagmar Celeste, Adeline Roitlinger, Gisela Forster and Christine Mayr-Lumetxberger; creating an opportunity for more women to partake in the Lord’s work.

Although I would not become a priest today, or in a few years when women priests are officially accepted by the church, I’m glad that the door has opened for others. I no longer am a strong believer in the church, if even a believer, after so many cases of rape behind sacred doors, abuse, and the neglect of women holding power. The fight for equality continues and may not cease, ever, and it is everyones job to ensure that doors we’ve known to be closed to our fellow women start cracking open—even if dust is thrown and moths come bugging. I might have lost my inspiration and dream, but I’m better off where I am now. Other young girls who also feel the need and love to share God’s teachings like I once did, now have a better chance and warm embrace of following their calling; may God be with them.

3 notes · View notes

kyberphilosopher · 4 years

Text

Seven: Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

“What happened to the Exception?” Adelicia questions. Her voice is smooth and low as usual, but underneath is a layer of malice and anger and accusing. Even with her back to me, I can feel this.

“He killed himself,” I say. I meant for my own voice to come out flat, but it cracks a little somewhere in the middle, much to my annoyance.

“It,” Adelicia corrects. “It self-destructed.”

“Yes,” I say with a little dip of my head. “It self-destructed.”

Adelicia turns around to face me. Her stern face is kept strict and together. Her blond hair is curled professionally towards the ends, right by her chin. Today, her suit is a bright white. It matches the walls of the room and the other modern architecture of the place. “Why did it do that? Hmm?”

I fiddle with my fingers behind my back. I’ve never done that before, but it feels natural to do. “Exceptions have unpredictable behavior.”

“So you’re saying there was nothing you could’ve done?”

This accusation makes something prick in my circuits. Adelicia must know what she’s playing at. She is the type of person to do so. To berate people for disappointing her no matter the circumstances. I just never considered the possibility that I would disappoint her. I was designed specifically to not do that. “Maybe,” I say, even though I don’t really think so.

Adelicia inhales and slowly turns around, seemingly composing herself. “And how would you say your first day was overall?”

I don’t actually have the time to answer because as soon as I open my mouth, she’s asking a new question. “How would you define Callan Kennedy?”

That’s a good question, actually. My circuits whir for a moment as I think about my answer. “I think it’s an added… challenge, working with him,” I say honestly. “He clearly has some issues he needs to sort out. But he’s unpredictable. He’s not so bad.”

I can practically hear the frown gracing the older woman’s lips. “And your relationship with him?”

He showed me how to curse in the car today. He laughed about it. I kind of wanted to laugh too. There is some kind of rapport developing between us, it seems. Though for now it’s mostly negative. “I’m not sure there is a relationship, yet. Though that is less important to me than the mission.”

I add the last part quickly. Maybe that is what eased the tension in Adelicia’s shoulders. “If it’s so important to you,” she begins. “Then go do it.”

Then she kicks me out of her program.

I open my eyes slowly, my led yellow before going white. It is no longer Thursday, October 14th. It is now Friday, October 15th. It is 9 am. Detective Kennedy will be here soon. Or he should be, at least. Whether or not he actually does that is up for debate.

I look around, moving only my head. I can see Officer Shovelman and Ho-Kim in a corner, sipping coffee and talking casually. Officer Blackwell disappears into a door with stairs on it. Celeste emerges from the meeting room with a huff, adjusting her navy blue cap. Captain Ericson is in his office, typing away at something. Everyone else bustles about, a quite hum of talking and phone calls filling up the place.

Something sinks into my biocomponents. A kind of comfort. I’m not sure from what. Maybe it’s because the environment.

A new objective appears in front of me where only I can see.

Make Yourself Presentable

One step forward, I fiddle with my cuffs on my jacket. Moving to the side of the room so I can go down the hallway to the bathroom. I don’t have to do my hair or brush my teeth or anything, but I quickly straighten out my clothes and tighten my black tie. When that’s finished, I tilt my head in different directions to observe my face.

I would look completely human, if not for the led by my eyebrow. You can see the fake pores in my skin. The individual strands of soft brown hair. The little cracks in my lips like they’re slightly chapped. Despite that, I am feminine and soft and calm and nice to look at. This is a stark contrast to Cal, I think, because he is obviously more masculine and rough around the edges. Very hard boiled, too.

I finish observing myself and turn back around. Two other women in the bathroom shuffle in their stalls. Their heels click and scratch across the floor. I’ve never had to use the bathroom. Not like a real girl.

I leave the bathroom. Even when I come back, Cal isn’t there. I don’t know what to do without him. I already understand the layout of the precinct, so there’s no need to explore anything. Well… maybe there is. I could explore Cal’s desk.

My feet take me to the left, into the break room. It’s not overtly large, but it has a few vending machines and a counter with coffee making materials. At one of the tables is Shovelman and Ho-Kim, which makes me feel a little better. They’re familiar faces. I don’t think it’s likely they’ll attack me or berate me.

“Hello,” I greet, putting my hands behind my back and smiling politely. The two officers jump and look up to me, anxiety rushing through the both of them. “I’m Aleksandra, but you can call me Aleks.”

“I-uh…” Shovelman begins.

“I detect an increase in your heart rate that indicates fear, or anxiety. This happens when I come near you… I hope I don’t frighten you.”

Both of their heartrates relax slightly. Officer Ho-Kim’s shoulders sink as a sort of tension leaves him. “No,” Shovelman says. “Of course not… I’m Blaise. This is Tom.”

“Nice to meet you,” I dip my head with a smile, pretending like I didn’t already analyze them and know all this information already. “I hope we can work harmoniously together.”

“Yeah,” Tom says dryly, swallowing nervously.

“So, uh, you’re working with Kennedy,” Blaise says, still anxious but trying.

“Yes,” I tell him.

“And what do you think about that?”

“Well,” I lower my head, my fingers dancing against each other behind me. “He doesn’t seem to like me very much.”

Tom lets out a quick laugh, but then seems to realize whose company he’s in and he clears it off with a cough. It makes my mouth twitch into a small smile before disappearing too. “He doesn’t really seem to like anybody. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“Bet Celeste has been giving you a lot of shit though,” Blaise says, raising his eyebrows and sipping from his coffee cup.

“Correct,” I tell them. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. It’s not your fault. I mean, being a… you know… doesn’t help, but it’s about Kennedy. Not you.”

“You’d think they were married, the way she’s around him,” I mutter. There’s silence for a few seconds before the two officers in front of me let out a series of giggles that makes me want to join too.

S0ftware 1nStability ^

“She’s not so bad, is she?” Tom says through his chuckles.

S0ftware 1nStability ^

I smile a little. The officers return to their conversation, still laughing a bit. I decide to leave as they’re distracted, but I don’t mind so much. Our interaction was pleasant. Certainly better than the other interactions I’ve had with the humans so far.

Upon leaving the break room, I make my way over to Cal’s desk. Unlike the others, he has no pictures on his desk at all. There are only a few trinkets- a rubber band ball, several broken pencils, an overflowing garbage can next to his desk. A flower pot sits there. I recognize the seeds to be one of a sunflower. Cal has completely neglected the plant, however. It is shriveled up, dying, turning brown and crumpling in on itself.

“Oh, fuck,” I hear behind me. I turn around and a warm smile appears on my face.

“Hello, Cal,” I greet.

The man in front of me, however, is not as hospitable as I am. He rolls his eyes without subtlety. In his hand is a coffee cup, which he clutches to him closely. His shirt is dark red today instead of green, but other than that his outfit is the same. “Jesus Christ, so it wasn’t a bad dream.”

“I’m afraid not,” I tell him.

Cal groans and rolls his head. “Did I tell you I don’t like you?”

“Yes.”

“Move please,” he orders tiredly. I sidestep and watch him take his chair out from his desk, setting himself in it.

I don’t think he realized it, or even cares at all, but he said ‘please’ to me. He used manners. It was still an order he gave me, but it was… kinder. More polite, I guess. “Did you get enough sleep last night, Detective?”

Cal rubs the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb. “Guess not. Not that I ever do…”

My Social Relations program tells me to stop hanging around him just standing, so I do. Instead I move around to the other desk I sat in yesterday, plopping myself in the chair. To my surprise, it immediately zips down from my weight. Not because I’m extraordinarily heavy, but because of a loose screw or something.

Cal looks over his desk to catch my eyeline. Out of something like embarrassment, I put my hand under the chair and to the little pump, raising the chair back up and into position. “That was funny,” Cal says without emotion.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, did you really spend the night here?”

I nod once to him. “Correct.”

Cal shrugs mockingly. “Was it… comfortable?”

Was it? “I powered myself down standing up. It would be uncomfortable for humans.”

“Heh,” Cal turns his attention from me and to his computer. I can see his fingers type ‘fuckingpassword!’ in again. “Androids don’t know what they’re missing.”

“What are we missing?” I ask curiously. My led flickers yellow.

“You know, warmth. Like, from a bed.”

A few minutes of silence go by. Cal continues clicking away, his grumpy face stuck in a frown.

“I was wondering…” I lean forward. “Is there a method to your madness?”

“Madness?” Cal says with one eyebrow raised.

“Your desk,” I explain quickly. “It’s filthy.”

Cal doesn’t answer immediately. His mouth curls into a light smile. “Whatever,” he says. Even through his nonchalant response, I can tell our relationship has shifted ever so slightly at that. It feels like it’s for the better. Maybe. Just maybe.

A few more minutes go by before our next line of dialogue.

“Your birthday is in less than a week,” I tell him. “Do you have any plans.”

Cal’s face goes still. He squints at his computer. I fear I’ve touched a nerve. “I’m seeing my father and brother.”

“I don’t have a father or brother,” I think out loud. Cal’s eyes shift to me now. “Or a mother.”

“I know about the mother bit,” the Detective mutters. “Wish I knew about the father and brother.”

I want to ask what he means. He meets my eyes in a piercing gaze. My led runs yellow. In real time, I can confirm that, yes, his mother died a while ago. His father and brother are alive. His brother is younger than him.

Cal Kennedy is no Android. He can’t analyze like I can. But the way his eyes flit left and right makes me think he’s searching me for something. I can’t possibly imagine what.

“Hey, listen to this,” Cal snaps suddenly, turning away from me. “We got a serial killer on the loose. We think it’s an Android going after humans. That’s pretty saucy, eh?”

“Yes. It sounds very sauce like.”

“You fucking coming?”

I snap my eyes open, then turn my head to the left and towards the drivers seat. Cal stares at me with his eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer. Have I been silent the whole car ride? No. I couldn’t have been. I don’t remember even closing my eyes.

“Yes,” I say. “Of course.”

Cal rolls his eyes for about the millionth time. “So fucking annoying…” he grumbles as he opens the door and steps out.

I glance out the window. We’re in what seems to be an abandoned parking lot, with a brick building laced with graffiti. This is surely the more industrial, less modern part of Seattle. Could’ve been an old apartment building.

Rain falls much lighter than yesterday. The clouds are gray still but closer to white. Almost heavenly. Sunlight doesn’t stream through them like I thought it would, but I don’t mind. As long as there’s rain, I’m content with it.

I open the car door and step outside. My boots land in a little puddle that splashes quietly. I pay no mind and close the door.

Looking up at the building now makes me feel something. Something different and unsettling in my gears and biocomponents. The insides of my system grinds and whirs around like thousands of little bullets trying to stop or slow something.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” I say, forgetting for a second that I’m with a hard boiled, angsty cop. “Something feels wrong.”

“Bad feeling?” Cal questions, keeping his pace in front of me. He doesn’t have to turn around and let me see his face for me to detect some level of sarcasm. “You sure you’re not becoming an Exception on me now? You almost sound like a real person.”

I don’t answer him, because something inside of me clicks. He certainly has a point. Another stupid thing to say on my part. Maybe from now on I just shouldn’t say anything to anyone, including myself. Adelicia will be furious if she finds out what I said. I would hate to disappoint her. I can imagine the look of disdain on her face now.

I follow Cal into the building and into a lobby. Nobody is inside but a bunch of birds, bugs, and most likely rats. My partner observes a sign hanging in front of the elevator. A simple, bright yellow one with the words “OUT OF ORDER” written on it boldly. He sighs and flicks it with his hand before sauntering over to the stairs on the right and starting up them. I follow shortly, the feeling in my abdominal biocomponent only increasing.

“So here’s what we know, Robocop,” Cal says as we round a flight of stairs. “For the past few weeks, three different people have been found dead.”

“Humans?”

“Yep. At first we thought it was just any other serial killer. We’ve had plenty of them here already. But then we found out all the stab marks were too perfect, ya know? Like a fucking painting or something.”

Paintings aren’t perfect. That’s why so many people like them. The flaws inside of them reflect a certain kind of humanity Androids such as myself just wouldn’t understand. Still, the comment makes me wonder if maybe Cal likes to paint or simply look at art. Although Cal really doesn’t seem the type, the image of the gruff man holding a dainty little paintbrush enters into my circuits.

“We think it’s an Android,” he continues explaining as we reach the top of the stairs. “A while ago we thought we cracked a code with this address, but we couldn’t check it out for whatever shitty reason.”

“Anything else?” I question, absorbing all the information I can with my yellow led.

“Yeah,” he says. We walk down a grimy hallway. Cal stops next to a dirty, tan door with a dark brown stain smeared against it. A quick analyzation tells me that this is simply dried blood. Matches up with the serial killer story described to me. “This is the door.”

I glance between Cal and the entrance to the apartment. The feeling of discomfort and anguish only grows in the pit of me. I do not like this. I do not like this at all. Still, I reach a hand forward to knock on the door, but the slightest touch from my plastic hand makes the door creak and push open.

I look to Cal with wide eyes. His expression mirrors my own. In a flash, he draws his gun and holds it firmly in both hands. “Get back,” he orders.

Softwa!e !Instabilit!! ^

“Got it.”

Cal enters the door cautiously, one foot in front of the other slowly and quietly. I follow suit, heightening my senses so no sound or movement can slip past me.

We stand in a large, open room with a few windows and one door. Against one of the walls is a small kitchenette. A torn up mattress is on the floor, nearly deflated. The walls are all scuffed up. I see a few knives missing from the knife rack over the sink. I see by the mattress, dried and crystalized against the floor, a puddle of urine.

“There’s urine on the floor,” I say.

“Where?” Cal questions, snapping his head around wildly.

“By the mattress. There.”

Cal moves over to the side, still alert. “I can’t see it.”

“It’s my visual programming,” I tell him, glancing around. “I can see things you can’t.”

Cal glances over to me. I expect an angry look, but there’s only a determined and curious one. “Can you search around for anything else then?”

“Yeah,” I say, moving to the left. Cal’s gun clicks as he moves, observing the area.

We know the suspect took a knife. The urine by the bed is human. The suspect could’ve scared or kept a victim there. I don’t think anyone was killed there, because there’s no traces of blood. Only urine.

On the wall by the mattress is a shoeprint. This makes me scrunch my eyebrows. How would that get there? Did someone kick the wall? No. It’s not in the right position to do that, unless the leg was put on backwards. I consider the possibility that maybe this Android’s leg was put on wrong or bent, but I rule that out. The Android wouldn’t be in working order at all if that was the case.

The dent in the deflated mattress though… what if the suspect used it to climb on the wall? Like something to jump off to? But then if we leveraged himself onto the wall, where could he have gone?

I raise my head up to the ceiling. Question answered. There’s a hole in the ceiling that would take you to some kind of attic.

Calculating Route…

“Cal, can you give me a hand?”

Cal turns to me. “What? You got something?”

“I think so,” I say. “Could you find the pump for this bed?”

Cal looks around for a few seconds, then leans down and throws me a little black cord. “Thank you,” I mutter. The mattress inflates slowly but surely. My heightened hearing picks up on some shuffling in the attic above me.

“You have a lead?” Cal asks, nudging the door on the other side of the apartment open.

I don’t answer him. I place the pump down because the air mattress is at the peak of being full of air. If I want to have this done right the first time, I have to be careful. I can’t step down on the mattress too hard, or too lightly.

Calculating Route…

Route Calculated

I quickly mash my feet against the floor. I jump onto the mattress, sinking down momentarily before launching one foot against the wall. My right foot presses down against it, then pushing me off and into the air. My fingers spread out as my hands reach for some part of the hole to grab onto.

I reach it. Pieces of wood slide into my synthetic skin. I feel them enter but no pain comes. Androids don’t feel pain. I clamber myself up and onto the ceiling, one leg at the time. It’s a bit of struggle against my abdomen, but I make it work.

Crouching on the unsteady ‘floor’ beneath me, I observe my surroundings. There is darkness all around except for one, small, swirling led light in the distance.

I stand up slowly, my eyes fixed on the led. My own goes yellow, then green when I confirm what I’m seeing. I narrow my eyes, letting my Android vision clear the way for me in the dark.

“You’re on their side,” he says in the dark.

His pale, Android skin stands out against his dark cap. I can see tufts of black hair underneath. Warm brown eyes swirl around with intelligence. Thin lips, a stocky build. I recognize the model: SK300. An Android designed for sex clubs.

“Did you kill those people?” I question out to him. His led runs red. Then it goes yellow. Then green, back to red, and finally white.

“I never killed anybody who didn’t deserve it.”

My eyebrow twitches. “Androids are not permitted to endanger a human life under any circumstances. You have violated the law.”

The Android swallows, almost nervously. I can see how uncomfortable he is. This Exception is remaining calm though, unlike Robin.

“They deserved it,” he says hoarsely. “I promise you they deserved it. Don’t tell the humans.”

I open my mouth to call for Cal, but then something in me stops. My lips close and my circuits spark. Led turns crimson in some type of alarm or active feeling.

“What did they do…?” I ask. “What did they do to deserve it?”

The Android’s led goes red, then returns to white. “The first one was abusing another Android in a club.”

“You killed them?” “He was gonna kill her. I had to. The second was a woman who spiked several men’s drinks. The third was a-”

“Stop,” I say. “Stop right there.”

I don’t know what to do. I am supposed to detain him. I have to detain him. I should detain him. So why am I not detaining him? I’m not calling for my partner. I’m not yelling or fighting or tackling him.

Instead, I back away. I don’t break eye contact. I identify him as Bryan, an Android reported missing a month ago by a sex club.

I lower myself down the hole I entered through. When I drop down, I land in the air mattress standing up. Bryan’s figure fades into the darkness above me, his led the only sign of his presence.

“Did you find anything?” Cal asks, his hands still wrapped firmly around his handgun.

“No,” I answer him, not even looking. “There’s nothing there. Our man is gone.”

#dbh #dbh fanfiction #detroit become human #detroit: become human #detroit: become human fanfiction #fanfiction #story #android #androids #technology

6 notes · View notes

stewy497 · 6 years

Text

Stew Reviews - Celeste

So, after a full year of umming and erring over it, I finally gave in to peer pressure and got myself a Nintendo Switch. I’ve got the usual no-brainer titles to go with it; Mario Kart and Odyssey, Skyrim, Breath of the Wild, Rayman Legends, and The Binding of Isaac, curiously enough. But out of all the games I’ve played on this new system, the one that most cried out for analysis was a little indie project from Matt Thorson by the name of Celeste that Nintendo seem to be particularly eager to push.

I didn’t pick up Celeste immediately because from the gameplay trailer I had assumed it to be a slightly generic platformer. When I did pick it up a few days later, I found that mechanically, Celeste can be considered a contemporary of Super Meat Boy which I really like, being a tough-but-fair 2D pixel art precision platformer in the try-die-try-again mould. The gameplay isn’t particularly revolutionary, so I guess in a way I was right about it looking generic, but it is very solid and rarely unduly frustrating. The main innovation here is that you collect strawberries rather than bandages, and your basic move set is enhanced with the ability to climb walls and a short directional dash which you can use to quickly reposition yourself in mid-air. The physics are reliable and the platforming puzzles are all competently designed, being built around the dashing and climbing mechanics, so they always feel central and never like some gimmicky tag-on. Thusly, navigating a screen on the first attempt with a smoothly rattled off sequence of calculated jumps gives a feeling of indescribable satisfaction. Each level is visually distinct and has its own slight variations on platforming mechanics, such as dash extenders or trajectory-altering winds, so the game retains a stable core that doesn’t end up becoming stale. The game suggests that gathering the strawberries is completely optional and in the end grants little more than bragging rights, but it’s entertaining enough that I generally want to go after them while still being challenging without making me break the Switch into three pieces – not in the sense that it’s meant to, I mean – which few games can claim to achieve. There are also secrets to find, B-sides and crystal hearts, and admittedly their function isn’t readily apparent until you reach post game, but they do have one so they count towards something other than meaningless 100% completion. As satisfactory as this all is however, where Celeste really grabbed me was in the story.

Some minor spoilers ahead for the sake of analysis, so you may want to skip the next two paragraphs if you want to go into Celeste fresh.

You play as Madeline – assuming you decided not to abuse the enter-name-here feature – a young red-headed woman who has arrived at the foot of Mount Celeste with the intent to climb to the mountain’s summit. Right off the bat it’s quite obvious that Madeline is dealing with some deep-seated emotional issues, from the way she stubbornly proclaims how much she needs to reach the summit and the occasional cryptic dialogue exchange or dream sequence. One conversation in particular flat out states that she suffers from panic attacks, so presumably it’s some form of anxiety disorder. The thrust of all this is that climbing Mount Celeste serves as a metaphor for Madeline overcoming her problems, which as a writer and as someone who has experienced mental health issues myself, I can appreciate. It might not be the most complex piece of symbolism in the world, but it works and it works well. This theming is complemented by the gameplay itself too in a nice example of ludo-narrative synchronicity, as in the face of your literally hundreds upon hundreds of failed attempts, only your own determination not to give up can propel you onwards.

As you draw closer to the peak, you’ll meet and interact with various supporting characters. They’re all quite reliably grounded and likeable, and each of them strike a chord in different ways. First off is Theo, let’s call him our frame of reference as the most “normal” person in the story; a wanderlusting and aimless amateur photographer who’s also climbing the mountain, occasionally slightly brusque in his manner but also pragmatic and sensible with it. Then there’s a portly and spectacularly neurotic hotel owner who may or may not be dead and tends to overthink and worry to the point of paralysis; a half-mad old woman who lives at the foot of the mountain; and an evil red-eyed palate swap of Madeline representing all of her uncertainty and self-doubt who constantly tries to sabotage her ascent... You know, the usual stuff. Their interactions are well written and touching, with two particular moments close to the summit sticking in my mind.

Speaking of characters and their interactions, one object of note is that while the majority of the game is, as I mentioned earlier, presented in low-detail pixel art, for dialogue and key story beats the visuals employ cute, hand drawn illustrations. On their own they’re quite enjoyable to look at, but being spread out by large expanses of pixel art makes each one feel far more special and worth savouring. I found myself taking screenshots of the ones I particularly liked just so I could go back and look at them again later.

Overall, I can find very little to complain about with Celeste. About the only recurring issue I could name would be that the input for the left joystick might be a bit unforgiving; it seems like half of all my deaths could be attributed to Madeline dashing a different direction to the one I wanted. You can mitigate this to some degree by switching to the directional buttons, but good luck if you need to change direction more than once; while all other controllers use a single cross-shaped button because it makes it easier to find the direction you want, the Joy-Con’s four individual buttons mean that my thumb keeps getting confused and prodding the space between them. Yes, the Pro controller has a more traditional D-Pad, but it’s positioned below the analogue stick rather than above it like every other controller, so reaching for it feels unnatural and off-putting. And besides, I played most of the game in portable mode anyways, so it’s a moot point. I suppose the easiest fix for this issue is to simply play a different version of Celeste, since it’s available across all platforms, but I can still recommend the Switch version because, like The Binding of Isaac, this game’s model is well suited to being portable, and I enjoy being able to have my pick with how I play it.

Secondly, for a game with such strong writing, I get the feeling that the writers neglected to proof read their final draft. The end of the second level hints at something or someone in Madeline’s past, but after she wakes up from the dream sequence where this happens, that particular story beat is never brought up again. If you’d hoped I would forget about it, Matt, perhaps it would have been worth coming up with another level or two to pad the runtime and improve the odds of that.

The last incredibly petty thing I have to say is that it’s often unclear whether or not Celeste’s mechanics are diegetic – that is to say, whether they exist within the context of the game’s story or purely for the sake of gameplay. Yes, I know that I’m probably the only person who cares about this, but it got on my nerves and it pads out the word count so I’m going to talk about it anyways. Part of the reason for this is that Mount Celeste is established as a supernatural setting that brings certain qualities out in those who scale it, but it’s hard to see where the dividing line is. Is Madeline actually capable of dashing in mid-air? A feat like that should be physically impossible without generating the force of a nuclear blast, but it’s demonstrated in cutscenes multiple times so I suppose she must be? What about the dash-extending space voids in the second level? The whole game it seemed those were simply part of Madeline’s dream, but then during the final climax when the game’s throwing everything it has at you, they return alongside everything else. But like I said, I’m the only person who cares about this so it’s hardly a deal breaker. I digress.

So, bottom line: a narrative triumph with solid and entertaining core gameplay. To be enjoyed by anyone who can face a challenge, and a must-play for those in the indie market.

#celeste #indie #platformer #matt makes games #2D #pixel art #review

3 notes · View notes

valfeathers · 2 years

Note

You mentioned a rewrite in the tags, yes? If so, what's some of the chief changes in it concerning DRT? Any shakeups for whose in the main cast? Or character deaths?

Well... First off, forgive me for the unholy wall of text! This is a long post and i go into some writer speak so be warned ig!

I kind of want to clear up any real vagueness and let the story speak for itself, which means removing some of the unnecessary twists (like asa not being a real person in the flashbacks only to actually end up being a real person after all) and giving the plot beats more breathing room so that they can really have an impact. The illustrations would be heavy with symbolism and i'm definitely keeping imagery from the more abstract parts of the books but as a whole i want to tone down the story and focus on the characters and their motivations, that isn't to say that I'm going to neglect the plot, timeline or worldbuilding though! I just want to form a real connection here and really explore this unique situation/setting.

And I do want to mention that this project is entirely for fun and an exercise of my abilities as a writer/artist/character designer, which means I'll be taking several creative liberties. Which means you could call it an AU? Technically.

I want to go into this and leave no stone unturned! Recently I've been working on environment design as well as actually nailing down settings and even writing little drabbles from the perspectives of lesser known characters. Really exploring it, this is a good way to make something productive of my hyperfixation rather than leaving this untouched forever!

And now for some of the key changes that are definitely set in stone:

-For starters, and this may be controversial, but I'm removing the Kudan entirely. To deliver the short and sweet of it, Blue Ink is no longer secretly a prophetic god. I, however, will still be including cow imagery every chance i get, rest assured.

-I'm also scrapping nearly every cameo from other ingame characters, the only exceptions being Junko and the ultimate impostor. the reason that i decided to cut this is because i want it to feel more like a standalone series, and while the cameos from sakura, celeste, hifumi and the remnants were fun, i want to take the time to develop the antagonists that were introduced in the books ie (suzuhiko, kazuya, and the Hardly Mentioned At All assassins who were gunning for byakuya.)

-And this is technically me undoing a character death but whatever, Shinobu ends up surviving the events of the competition flashbacks. I'm giving her a few more years and Then killing her.

-Speaking of shinobu, I'm taking a slightly different approach to the k2k system and its effects. whilst yes, this is still a plot point its function is different. rather than fabricate false memories, it now, because of a malfunction, ends up erasing a portion of her memory for reasons that will be explained later, nerfing her memories of the majority of her time as a student as well as any real close relationships she had. this is a the main point of tension for her character as well as one of the (hopefully) most impactful twists of the AU.

-which means that the names of the main cast will stay the same, ie. Hiroyuki and Yuika Ketouin, potential heirs to the ketouin conglomerate will remain Hiroyuki and Yuika ketouin (i'm aware that they are characters from another series making a cameo but for AU purposes i'll be taking those aforementioned creative liberties). other than the ultimate impostor, you can assume that any name given to a character is the correct one. again, not only did i make this choice for simplicity's sake, but also as an opportunity to connect to these characters and make them feel more tangible and solid.

-this means that the events of the flashbacks happen just as they're shown as well! all of the siblings, their names, talents and the events of the competition are shown as they happened with no interference whatsoever.

-speaking of the siblings, i would also be extending the flashbacks in order to really get to know them as well, like i've mentioned in previous posts i've designed each of them and am working on getting designs for their parents finalised as well, although it's taking a while.

this post is getting long but this is just a fraction of what i have planned! i'll leave off for now

i'll be willing to answer any questions but it may take me a minute to respond!

#danganronpa #asks #dr:t #shinobu togami #drt asks

2 notes · View notes

ftpbtw-gbf · 5 years

Text

6.5 week update

account start date: 1/31/2019

Table of contents:

General progress

Grids/Weapons

Characters/teams

Summons

Other notes

General Progress

I’ve been working on clearing out those arca badges while collecting screenshots for this update so those numbers will be a tad off.

For what it’s worth, evidence that I’ve never pulled from the gacha still:

compare with the free draws for the current anniversary event:

I haven’t used the weapon ticket yet, but I think it’s fair game to do so. Haven’t decided what to use it on, however I’m not in a rush since it’ll be around probably longer than I plan to play this account famous last words.

Probably a grimnir harp though, since we have two xenos coming up in just a week or two (and I don’t need to grind either of them for my other accounts).

Story wise, ch 63 is a major moment, both in terms of the story and what becomes available.

After ch 63 there are only a small handful of important, but not crucial raids to be unlocked, namely primarchs and huanglong/qilin. There are two pretty good story characters as well that I have not unlocked yet, however I wanted to take time to develop grids to be able to better tackle some of the upcoming story fights without relying on pots and the retry bonuses (which I did use for a few earlier story battles).

Working through arca as I mentioned. I should be on track to recruit monica as early as next week, assuming I’m not screwed over by some encounters. I did just clear my first hard mode puppet boss and it was a slog, but I did make it through. I’ll talk more about it later, but water and dark still feel exceptionally weak even though their grids are roughly on par with my other elements. Some of it is character related, but I haven’t been particularly scientific about it yet.

Grids/Weapons

imgur album of grids

The above grids are specifically for mechanic teams for each element. Since I’m collecting arca points for monika, I have not bought a water arca gun and am just hoping one will drop when I get to Bellator path (there’s a decent enough chance at it anyway).

Between freebies and good luck with drops, I have mostly workable if not 100% meta base grids, now only requiring skill levels to finish off.

I’ve intentionally slotted hp weapons into many of my grids. The prevailing philosophy of many high ranked players is to go all in on offense and ignore hp,but that’s never really sat well with me. “Punch it harder,” has never really been a feasible short term solution to a battle that new players might struggle with. Additionally, many of the grids above already have 5-6 magna atk mod weapons so I found space to include hp weapons so that I’m not investing in atk weapons that would eventually be victim to “diminishing returns,” not that I’ve ever really heard a satisfying explanation for that in gbf context.

As of the time of publishing this, there are still no freely available earth ex weapons pre-hHL

Some more notes on other specific weapons:

Can probably get most of these up a few more uncaps by now, but I’ve been neglecting them a bit.

Picked up two axes last gw before realizing I should instead be getting these, so I switched over and managed to grind out enough boxes to mlb this one and have one 0* extra.

Still a tad on the fence whether or not I want to actually make any eternals on this account or not, but I’m starting to lean towards yes. That being the case, I originally started grabbing axes because Sarasa is always a great starter choice, but Quatre and Six might be better options to bolster elements that have weak ftp char options. Earth isn’t doing amazingly better than dark and water, but enough so that I’m not struggling with water enemies in arca like I am with fire and light foes.

Through perseverance, good timing on the addition of the Love Live collab to side stories and otherwise good free fire chars, I was able to grind out an mlb windhose. The FLB step requires elemental centrums and urns, that I don’t have access to pre-HL, so for now, it stays mlb.

Pre-HL, Water sabers are roughly as bad off as earth sabers, and having the windhose for wind prospects, I ended up picking water for my atma from the “wmtsb 3: 000″ event. Earth might have been a slightly better choice, but it’s not a huge deal wither way. Both elements have an LL char that can provide elemental atk up, and both elements have alternates that are mediocre. As you can see, I haven’t touched it yet though, because outside of 000, new players would not have access to an atma at my rank (72). However, once rank 80 rolls around, you can bet I’ll be trying to sneak into a UBaha normal train to get meteorites for a key. For now, gonna work on collecting the host mat.

I only just today noticed that I had the mats needed to flb the silver bow however, while I did that, I have not had a chance to upgrade it any further. I’m also probably going to be directing skill fodder elsewhere before coming back to this.

Characters/Teams

Since this post is already going to be super long, here’s an imgur post with my currently set up teams and notes on specific characters. There are some other fringe set ups, I’m interested in trying at some point or another, but these cover 95% of my needs. Commentary included in imgur post.

Here’s an album with my overall character levels.

Since only a few of my chars are max uncap + max level, I haven’t amassed a lot of emp points on most chars and therefore haven’t looked at emp quality for most.

Summons

It fortunately did not take too long to mlb all six magna ssr summons, especially with the first one given out for free.

Some notes:

- Fafnir and Phoenix are both usable - the former has a fire def down which would be more useful if I didn’t already have characters that could also inflict it, while the latter has a heal albeit a very weak one.

- Robomi is a dispel, with the unfortunate side effect of dispelling one of your own buffs. The not having to bring dispel in my own subskill slot though is enough reason to keep her around.

- You get one wind buncle from pinboards and there’s another in treasure trade for some satin feathers and tia silver anima. There are four more in the casino, but for now, I’m keeping the two I have separate since I don’t have a ton of other great summons.

- Ebisu’s water def down, is more valuable than fafnir’s because there are fewer characters (among free chars at least), able to inflict the elemental def down. At mlb, the aura loses it’s data penalty, too.

- With WMTSB2 in sidestories, I’m able to use Sandalphon summon for it’s atk up and heal. I’m already at a point where chev is the better main summon, but Sandalphon’s call is still fantastic, compared to the other healing summons that have half as much potency. He also gives his character version a small dark damage cut as a secret effect.

- For anyone who didn’t know SR Luminiera and SR Celeste both provide 20% damage cut against their strong element when mlb. So mlb SR Celeste’s call, for example, gains a light damage cut.

- There are no good elemental summons for Earth or Dark in side stories - Midgardsormr and Albacore both are ~25% atk boosts justified by having hp boosts alongside them, but for practical purposes, the damage loss isn’t worth the hp gain. I’m fortunately at a point where I’m using magna summons for all elements normally, but arcarum may still get better results from an elemental summon (maybe? I haven’t been scientific enough about the numbers). Unfortuantely, getting all four copies of Dark flame Scion out of the side story shop is going to take something like fifty runs of Sandalphon showdown because the WMTSB doesn’t give out a free mlb summon at the end unlike most other side stories. It gives out the mlb light ex harp, but not the summon. And my dark team is not great, as seen in the previous section. I can beat the showdown, but it takes effort.

- I was able to farm an mlb and 0* copies of WMTSB3′s Dragon’s Rage Summon, however, since it won’t be around all the time (till next year presumably), I can’t use it however great the 50% all element/10% hp boost would be to alleviate my elemental summon woes.

- Once I unlocked arca, I bee-lined for Hanged Man, and was fortunate enough that he was the boss I encountered at the end of that path. Hanged man provides me with a clarity in my summon grid, which is useful in the same way Robomi is as a dispel, but better, because Hanged Man gives a random buff in addition to clearing a debuff, instead of taking away a buff like Robomi.

Other notes

As implied by my grid showcase and story progression, I unlocked Mechanic as soon as I was able. Earlier on, I lucksacked a silver centrum from a primarch raid leech but even without that, by rank 50 it’s within the player’s power to leech grand order raids for feathers and redeem 25 for the first shop centrum, thereby acquiring the hardest part of the energy maneuvers robot part. I casino’ed enough to get the red bricks and brightstones so I was able to get those turn 1 full bursts right out the gate as soon as possible. Doing so greatly improved the speed at which I could handle my own hard primal raids and thus helped collect omega anima for magna raid hosts - which in turn led to more ssr magna drops.

At rank 60, I took my main and tackled as much of ex co-op as I could so I had the achievements to unlock swordmaster and mystic, though I have not leveled them yet. I have both arca wind sword/katana so I can slime, though I haven’t sat down and done any yet.

After Dark Fencer, I went for Holy Saber among the T3 classes, then Bishop, then Hermit:

I haven’t been focusing on leveling classes since, and focusing on some of the specialty ex classes was a noticeable drain on my cp supply, but Hawkeye, Weaponmaster, Valkyrie, and Superstar, roughly in that order are next on the to-do list when I get back to it. All of those classes provide useful if non-essential subskills for those rare cases I might not need miserable mist (such as actually playing dark fencer).

At one point, I was hoping to sell this account around the time it reached a spark’s worth of crystals, but after looking into some examples of account selling, I’m already at a point where this account wouldn’t be appropriate to sell to a new player, which limits my potential clients. That being the case, I’m a bit less concerned over preserving all of the options, such as gold bar usage, though I may change my mind in the future still. I picked the sunstone from WMTSB2: summon cradle, and it’s tempting to use it on a magna summon like Tiamat.

Anyway, if there are any questions, feel free to ask here (use the link at the top that starts: “Ask me about...”) or if you know how to reach me on discord, that’s fine, too.

#granblue #granblue fantasy #gbf

0 notes