#I have thoughts but idk how to articulate them

[essentialthyme]

Having thoughts about Toshiro I don't know how to articulate, so here's a messy rant, I guess!

Yes, a bunch of people dislike him because of Farcille. No, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Straight people have committed real-life violence against gay people for being gay for ages, and they still do, so I think we can handle shippers of a fictional wlw ship disliking a fictional male character for having feelings for one of them. It's not that deep.

Laios and Toshiro's conflict is more complex. We have been following Laios for a while now, and we've only been hearing about Toshiro up until two episodes ago. It's natural that people will tend to take Laios' side. I also think it's a bit malicious of people to talk about racism here when the setup for the disagreement is shown to be between Laios and Toshiro as individuals, and the clash between Laios being austist and having a lack of social skills, and Toshiro keeping his feelings and thoughts to himself. Is it because of his culture? We have Maizuru freely opening up, and Inutade is very extroverted, so that's not the impression I got.

To say Laios' was committing racist microagressions by talking to Toshiro and being interested in the land he came from and the monsters they have there and seeing him as a friend, and for calling him Shuro after he misunderstood his name and Toshiro did not correct him, I mean? It seems a little disingenuous to me.

Not to mention, Toshiro was intended to be a polarizing character. His negative reaction to the party's use of black magic, while can be understandable as it is born out of concern, is extremely antagonistic to the main characters. You know, the people we have been following since episode one and came to care about? Them. We, as an audience, don't want Laios and Marcille handed over for using forbidden magic. We don't want Falin to rest in peace. His stance goes completely against everything that we care about as viewers, and we haven't had the time to know him, to grow to like him.

To act like it's unfair for people to dislike him? Idk. It's really not that unexpected.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #i've been calling him shuro in my previous posts because i've made them as i was watching the episode #and it had not yet registered that my previous assumption toshiro himself was going by a fake name was wrong #head too full of chimera falin tbh

[abelllia]

hello. i have a question. why did agnes kiss that guy? the coffee shop guy, i mean. at first it seemed like poetic parting gesture from a creature who’s existence is greater than that of a regular person, so his pain and suffering don’t matter. but then we learn that agnes somewhat cared for him and didn’t want him to get hurt by others.. so why put him through that pain and eventual disfiguration? she knew people can’t touch her, she knew what would happen to him. so why..?

Hmmm to be honest, I don't quite know. I myself have not yet started Season 5 so if there's an answer from there then I don't know it yet. I'll answer with my personal interpretation instead.

It's pretty darn long so if you want to skip, I put a short tl;dr at the end of the thing under the conga line of equation marks. Also spoilers!

==============================

I think it was an act of impulse and rebellion. A moment carried by emotions. From what we know of Agnes's story based on secondhand accounts, she was seen and praised as the chosen one. Weighed down by the title of messiah from the moment of her birth to the hour of her death. The one who shall carry the Desolation through and bring about the Scorched Earth. And...that's it. We don't know much of her personality beyond that, since to the people around her (The Cult) a messiah was simply what she was. Arthur Nolan reflects on this in MAG 145 when asked about what Agnes was like. Arthur Nolan, one of the cult members who practically raised Agnes *didn't know what she was like*. All her life, Agnes Montague was merely an idol for her people. A leader to follow until their destined day. She was following a path laid out to her before her time. She wasn't a person. Not to them. She was something greater than herself.

Enter Coffee Boy Jack Barnabas, a nobody who knows nothing about Eldritch gods and destiny or fate. A guy who looked at a woman who can boil coffee with her hands and went "Yeah, I want to date her.", even when warned that she was dangerous. A guy that just saw her as someone. Someone that he wants to get to know better and form a personal, non-eldritch, connection with.

And that's exactly what they did. They went on dates together and got to know each other. They talked, walked at the park, went to the movies, and just generally acted like a couple of young people hanging out. Agnes "Ms. Aloof and Above-it-All" Montague was just hanging out with this rando from the coffee shop. We even get a bit of information here of what she thinks of her grand destiny and from the looks of it, she didn't like it. In the statement, Jack recalled Agnes doing behaviour that would normally be considered bizarre and just...laughed fondly. Jack truly and genuinely liked *her*. And it seemed she liked him back.

Then, of course, the tree fell during the middle of their date and Agnes had to die. Jack helped Agnes walk back to her flat where the rest of the cult were. Once more, Agnes is the Desolation's messiah, here to have one last goodbye with her followers before she returns to the cosmic entity she is, was, and will be eternally bound to. Then as she bids farewell to Barnabas, he looks to her and asks her, against all logic, if he could kiss her.

On her deathbed, as one final "fuck it", Agnes Montague did not what Agnes, the messiah, was supposed to do, but what Agnes, the person, wanted. She kissed him back.

And yeah I guess she didn't think it through and burned his whole face off which was...not great? But it was a decision that was all Agnes. It was not something she needed to do, not something asked by the cult, not something asked by Gertrude, but something she *chose*. Choice is a pretty big theme in TMA though I don't know the conclusion yet because *waves at not having listened to S5 yet.* Agnes chosing to kiss Jack is a really big thing for her and I think is one of the only things she was truly able to choose for herself. The theme of choice is added on to at the end of the episode as well with Barnabas. He mentions that though the facial burns did a huge number on him and his life, he says he's not sure if he would have done anything differently if given the chance, the choice, to. He says that he's like a moth, drawn to the flame.

==============================

Tl;dr: I think Agnes did it as one final middle finger to the universe, the concept of destiny, and being a gifted kid. She did it because she wanted to and that's that.

#abellasks #heyyy new tag! #tma #abellrambles #the magnus archives #Agnes Montague #tma spoilers #Jack Barnabas #MAG 67 #I have thoughts but idk how to articulate them #thinking about how the MAG title 'Burning Desire' applies not just to Jack but to Agnes too in my pov #Agnes is just such an intriguing character #she's a gifted kid but the gift is the ability to destroy the world #how fun! #for Jude though I think she did genuinely care about Agnes she still puts her on a pedestal and sees her as an extension of their god #for Gertrude idk I haven't listened to s5 yet WEEEEEE #Jack Barnabas is truly the king of simps for this and I love him for it #this guy watched Agnes nearly burn a guy and went *sheesh face* #like....bro- #anyways I have plenty of thoughts go brrrrrr #The Desolation

[pandorem]

Fascinating to me that Hunter in the owl house not only fills the “child soldier of the villain who switches sides” archetype but if we are going through the tropes of fairy tales that The Owl House likes to play with, is a little bit the princess in the tower??

#the owl house #hunter #hunter toh #idk I have a few thoughts on how the archetype kind of fits on to hunter but can’t quite articulate them properly yet #something something complete lack of agency and complete lack of proper understanding of the outside world as it truly is #but he’s also the created monster with something something having to not only fight for his own personhood #but discover that personhood is possible for him at all something something

[chuuyanakaahara]

where dazai isn't ready to reveal himself as ex-mafia and the agency gets a case about a high-profile criminal requesting their presence and. they show up and it is nakahara chuuya handcuffed in the most secure restraints they have (which have nothing on him and a terrifyingly few amount of people know this). the police chief says they "apprehended" him because, truthfully, they didn't arrest him. they have no dirt on him, technically, with the mafia's front business.

he turns himself over. "i'll speak only to the armed detective agency," he says, calmly. "to one of their agents."

dazai is internally panicking, meanwhile chuuya needs to get this all on with, because for whatever reason this is the options he was left with, or maybe he just wants to be dramatic. they all know chuuya won't be there long. but there's always a lingering sense of damnation approaching when a mafioso of such high caliber wants help.

#i have so many thoughts idk how to articulate them lmao #cherri.txt #bungou stray dogs #bsd #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk

[taylortruther]

no but like.............. who hasn't been haunted by at least one thing in the past. who hasn't worn deep grooves into a memory for all their revisiting. who hasn't called up an ex(-lover/-friend/-whatever) after ruminating for years and coming to late, late, late realizations about themselves, or at least wanted to. who hasn't been haunted? who doesn't have regrets that, even now, you wish you could go back and change? and if you said "me," don't worry your time will come.

#i have many Thoughts about art and fiction and memory and idk how to articulate them #mine

[sourscratched]

the hand that feeds

#dimension 20 #my art #acoc #trw #many thoughts about them that im unable to articulate #just thinking a lot about how they were probably around the same age during the events of trw #and i think a lot about karna as far as i know not knowing any other warlocks of the hungry one besides herself #the scene in the inn when she looks in the mirror at the rot growing hits me so hard #something about being so young and all alone with the dread you feel about your own body #who can you tell who would get it #who can you tell that it wouldn’t feel like giving them something to use against you #idk i just think about these two a lot #wonder what it would’ve been like if they could have met each other #(do i have a fic where they meet that ive been procrastinating on uploading to ao3 for months. Maybe) #(i don’t write like Ever and i haven’t had the confidence to share it yet. anyway) #this whole post is just me talking to a wall lmao don’t mind me everyone #a crown of candy #the ravening war

[ninjaaa-go]

why am I getting so emotional about a little plastic ghost??? morro seriously has such a grip on me it’s insane

#I have too many thoughts that I can’t properly articulate here #but I’ve been watching dragons rising and just saw episode 5 so no spoilers beyond that please #but oh boy and I feeling some things about Morro #I think part of it is just supremely unfortunate timing because literally right before I watched the episode #I finished writing a chapter of my Morro centric fic and the stuff I was writing today was about his identity and how #his connection to the wind plays into it #so I was kind of emotionally primed to just have a lot of feelings about a new master of wind #I have a lot of feelings about dragons rising in general both good and bad but that’s a whole separate deal #idk if I had a point and I’m just rambling now but Morro has just really carved out a soft spot in my heart #and I’m probably too attached to him but what can you do #he and Jay are my specialest little guys and I am not capable of being normal about them #ninjago #lego ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #Ninjago dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising spoilers #they’re just in the tags but I figure better to be safe #ninjago morro

[justalittlebluetiefling]

What do you think of the Daggerheart system so far?

I'm intrigued! There seems to be a really good mix of familiar and unique. I really love how collaborative the character creation process is at the table. The connection questions (which is where I'm at in the video right now) are very fun. The spells we got to see had some fun flavor (that shadow spell Laura picked seems super cool). I liked that the classes share subclasses with each other (I can't remember the actual terminology, I've been mutlitasking). I think it allows for some potentially interesting experimentation.

I'm excited to watch them play tonight and figure out more about how it works in the moment. But it definitely has me curious and so far it seems like a fun system to play with. At this point, it's something I would be willing to pick up.

#idk i have some deeper more reflective personal thoughts lol but i'm not sure how to articulate them yet #daggerheart #anonymous #erin answers things

[boyybites]

Was thinking more about Boof and how he's just a giant guard dog dragon thing. He guards The Librarian's "heart" but when Treasure is introduced the Librarian is so scared of this tiny child falling off the bed he essentially has Boof watch over the baby instead which leaves himself vulnerable, or more vulnerable than normal.

#oc: the librarian #im trying to figure them out have patience #esp boof since idk i dont see the librarian taking him in #maybe he created him or some shit to guard his heart after an incident occurred #that could have tied in with his scars #hm much to think about #wish i knew how to articulate and organize my thoughts and story properly #years of reading fanfiction has actually degraded my writing believe it or not #it really do be like that #so im tryna get my own groove back

[zeb-z]

“Even if it’s not my fault, it’s still my accident, it’s still my mess. It’s still something that - exists, because I do” oh. and he just doesn’t know another way to help, either, because all his life has been screwing up without helpful direction in order to meet impossible standards, and so there is no other way than to bleed himself dry. for the cause, for a friend in need, for anyone he doesn’t know. especially for the problems that he himself creates, because to him his pure existence has always been the problem, because the elders were fucked as hell and traumatized him to no end - so even causing problems is a sin. a single mistake is a sin. it always has been. and it’s rough trying to learn anything other than that mindset - but Jay and Chip won’t let him struggle alone.

and it’s like - that’s what comes with being raised the way he was. punished for imperfection, but there’s no guidebook, no definition of perfect. and so perfect is never good enough anyway. it’s a trap and there is no winning, so there’s nothing else to do but take the blame and bear it, and internalize it. and it makes actual failure and actual mistakes that much more painful. of course responsibility needs to be taken for your actions - but when you’ve been taking responsibility for everything, up to and including the literal fate of the world, all of your life, every outcome is your fault. and guilt only builds, and resentment only festers. of course he hates the elders for how they treated him. of course he hates himself.

he’s grabbing his own destiny and making his own choices - but the thing about making your own choices is that there are so many of them. there’s no destiny to blame anymore. and all you can do is the best you can. and it’s not always going to be good enough. he’s learned plenty about failure, but with Jay and Chip around, maybe he’ll learn about second chances, and self forgiveness. maybe he’ll learn that accidents aren’t always met with extremes. and that he’s not the only one left to deal with a mess if he slips up and breaks something.

#after their talk and their big spar part 2 and everything I’m choosing to hope for the up and up #I just. I dunno. again. y’all ever think about how he never lays on hands to heal himself? because I do #I’m calling it what it is tw for the tags here but #passive suicidality. and it’s scary and tough to deal with especially under these conditions he’s under and it’s like #he’s someone who can be seen as bigger than life almost a moral role model. a hero of sorts. and still he thinks he’ll never be good enough #abuse will do that to a mf #but like. idk jay shot him and he forgave her. and chip can be a downright bastard and he still cares for him. as much as his own #morals and nature have rubbed off on the other captains they’ve also rubbed off on him. I mean sarcasm? pranks? #chip is valuing others more and more. and so maybe gillion will value himself more and more. yknow? #after every mistake he’s made and the others have made they’re still crew. family. and ain’t that somethin? #I dunno. taking responsibility isn’t just bleeding yourself out as retribution. there has to be a balance. and for gillion (and chip tbh) #that’s difficult. and something I am hoping they will continue improving on #idk. I have many thoughts without full articulation I’m just kinda spinning them all in my brain yknow #jrwi riptide 86 #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #character analysis #z speaks

[gingericywolf]

Filled a page with some more screenshot redraws and au stuff still many ideas in my mind

Close ups of a few doodles that come from this post/dream

And another AU that I've been rotating in my mind for months:

#camp cretaceous #ben pincus #kenji kon #jwcc benji #bumpy jwcc #jurassic world: camp cretaceous #brooklynn jwcc #can't draw kenji and can't draw brooklynn either apparently #ankylosaurus #ankylosaurus bumpy #i have so many thoughts and I don't know how to articulate them. also i f my wrist so idk if i can keep on drawing #giw sketches #giw art #ask box always open #jwcc #jwcc: carrying the Bull's shadow AU #I imagined full comic pages and dialogues and even MEMES for this AU #even alternate possibilities. it's basically it's own universe with it's own aus at this point #me and my inconsistent art style #Royal Reincarnation AU

[sapphic-storm69]

Lord have mercy on me, for I know not the path ahead nor what it looks like but may my soul persevere. May it strengthen me when I lay broken. May it pick me up from the rubble and dust me off and may it look into my shattered eyes and say “you are more than you know”. May it give me light when the sun cannot, may it power me through the nights when I stare into the abyss and feel the dread so ancient in my bones rise, and may it bleed into everything I love. May it leave a story of my life even when I am gone.

#sorry fellas idk what came over me #sometimes I feel things so profound I can’t really put them into words #idk I think this is a good rendition of my thoughts right now #wrote this while listening to cornfield chase shoutout to my boy Hans zimmer #girl help the moon shines above me and I can’t stop thinking about how humanity is capable of such beauty. #idk #it’s late I have school tomorrow #girl help I can’t stop thinking about how no matter how stressed I am for tomorrow this is but a small part of my life #how I am capable of so much more #how even when I listen or watch or read something and think how beautiful it is and how profound and how perfectly it is articulated that it #was made by a person. it was made by someone with a dream and such emotion and I am capable of such beauty #I am capable of creating something that will move someone just as someone else’s creation has moved me #anyways haha #gn fellas #writing #this is what you get when you aren’t on Ritalin

[auromelt]

​literally no matter how many times i think about the horrendous and emotionally crushing environment suzaki’s been packed into all his life, i still feel just as crazy. at what point in his life has he truly been offered a break or a moment of solace? he starts underprivileged, he starts with all the cards dealt against him. he doesn’t know of a world where he isn’t being mocked and where he isn’t wondering where his family is going to get money from. he’s a weapon, a tool, a pawn. he’s essentially property. his parents essentially sold him to his own best friend who grew unreachable before his eyes. they sold him for financial stability. they gave him to a monster that suzaki has loved all his life. suzaki had nothing, barely has anything, nothing of his entirely belongs to him. he’s amagai’s before he belongs to himself. he’s hurt and he can’t express it because he hasn’t opened up to anyone in years and the one person he wants to open up to is the person who drove the blade into him in the first place before driving the same blade into the ground between them and severing suzaki’s ability to reach him. he mocks him and his devotion and suzaki stays and suzaki doesn’t love himself enough to leave and he stays and stays and stays. when everyone runs out on him, on them, he stays and stays. they talk about him behind his back and laugh at his financial status or who he is in senomon’s picture and he stays. he’ll always stay. he doesn’t know of a world where he hasn’t had to suffer and fight and become a pawn to be used. he’s currency to his family and he’s a tool used for agendas he doesn’t necessarily agree with. he’s currency and it doesn’t matter to him because despite it all, he’s not one to care about money. he wants to be loved. he doesn’t get to be loved. guard dogs like him don’t get the same love people do, he’s another tool to be discarded when he’s useless, much like how an older guard dog could die alone in the pound after a life of service. he stays as he’s mistreated and nobody else can understand why, but he stays anyway. he’s nothing to himself if he can’t be useful. at what point within suzaki ryo does he begin when every point seems like an end?

his life sucks LMFAO.

#i have so many thoughts regarding the abhorrent hand suzaki’s been dealt in his life and idk how to articulate them #wall of text #suzaki ryo #high & low #high&low #high & low the worst x #high&low the worst x

[laomelettedufromage]

Things I hope to see in the Legend of Hei prequel sequel:

- Wuxian slowly learning to cook

- Wuxian trying and failing miserably at teaching xiaohei to read

#feel free to add these are my two big ones #and they’re definitely inspired over the little artworks that have been released #such as the one of wuxian drawing a character into the ground and xiaohei just drawing a picture of them🥺 #I might add once I do a full rewatch hehehehe #I feel like I can’t think of any hints from the movie or show as to what the conflict for this next movie could be #idk if that’s from a genuine lack of any set up (which is okay if so) or just because I wasn’t looking for it yknow? #potentially there is just no set up or hints or if there is it’s not obvious but👀 I’ll still look #hmmmmmmm god I have so many thoughts but idk how to articulate ANY of them #legend of hei #loh #by yours truly the omelette of cheese

[viovio]

cassavania midturne thoughts (watched eps 1-2):

Who's that. that's not maria. what the hell happened to her, I can't articulate it well but she always feels like she's at a boiling point, of course she would be pissed at being stifled bc she's 12 but it doesn't feel like her ok..... I think their template for angry little girls is all the same but if she could go "my parents died ^__^" and tell dracula to shut his evil shit up silly style and you KNOW she's mourning, you could've done that with one of her parents alive. idk idkkkkk and richter oh my god

I don't like how quickly everyone seems to go along with stuff it's weird as well, you're getting rid of cvs campiness and for what. you got rid of their whimsy. it's got great handles on grief and you speedran it it's weirdddd

#speak iza #dont take this seriously i cant articulate my thoughts but its also weird. with the loredumps #i can handle those but yk how in cv games you get journals in your menu and stuff #i fucking lost my shit when edouard just went omg its the vampire who killed annettes mom and enslaved her SORRY. #YOU COULDNT INTRODUCE THTA BETTER??????? #anyways i did count the references.they have once again not rly included the gamw motifs in their music but idk its been a while #and im only on 2. we'll see #netflixvania tw #call him a wanker again why dont you. god fuck this characterization #calling it richters cuck magic bc its so doodoo (jokes) #thats not even them......closes eyes forever #i cant even begin to imagine what ken thinks #survive......

[selvepnea]

Been thinking about my body a lot

#Sel talks #Listened through Fat Talk by Virginia Sole-Smith which talked a lot about how bodies are tools #And the way she talked about how thin-ness shouldn't be something we strive for #And I can't help but draw parallels between my own desire to go on t? I don't know. Been having too many thoughts stewing #I keep coming back to isabeau's line of “maybe it was easier to change into someone I could love than to learn how to love how I was” #And I had drawn both hrt and diet culture back into this; but. Neither of them are from self love? #It's. Idk; a friction? On how you perceive yourself and how the world perceives you? #Or. Idk idk. It's hard to articulate now that I'm trying to get it down #If I remember right; one of the messages of fat talk was how bodies should be for function first and foremost; and should hardly-if ever- #Considered for aesthetic. And yes- trying to loose weight is one of the most damaging aesthetic changes you can do- #Idk! I feel like I'm looking too far into it #Something something you're not happy with how your body looks/is perceived so you want to change it #Whether that's influenced by society; loved ones; or something biological; it's still a desire to change your body #Although one is vastly more accepted than the other #Trying to become thin is trying to make yourself more comfortable in a vastly fatphobic world; to placate the people think they have say #Over your body; make yourself more palettable to the world around you. #Which I guess is an important distinction #Becoming the person you want to be even through everyone telling you that it's wrong or disgusting #But a part of me can't help but think a part of the reason I want to do hrt might have something to do with our male centric society? #I'm too tired to elaborate any further but I feel less busy now that I have it out