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baecvlt · 3 years

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This Night Has Opened My Eyes

Kazuichi Soda X Reader

• smut !

• fem reader

• requested by my irl lmao (they also wanted some hcs so)

“That asshole.. always getting in the way of Miss Sonia and I”

You smacked Kazuichi’s arm, scolding him,“You need to be nicer to him. He hasn’t done anything wrong”. We were in the Hotel Restaurant and it was obvious that Gundham and Sonia had gotten closer since the last trial. Kazuichi didn’t like that one bit. He sighed, taking another bite of food,“Look at him, though!”. He points at Gundham, who is allowing Sonia to pet his hamsters. “Only likes him because he’s a magical cult freak”. You shook you head, trying to explain.

“You think maybe it’s because, I don’t know, he isn’t weirdly obsessed with her?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What I said”

Kazuichi growled, his expression toning down when Gundham approached you both. “You and Kazuichi seem to be two peas in a pod. Tell me, are you both partaking in an intimate relationship?”. Kazuichi was about to get defensive, you just knew it. “What’s it to you?,” he said, fist clenched. Taking a step back, Gundham explains,“I have no such interest in such topics. Rather, Sonia was curious”. Kazuichi’s eyes lit up,“Sonia’s asking about me?”. Gundham cringed and scoffed.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself over pure gossip. Pathetic”

“Watch it, Houdini. I’ll fuck you up”

“Bring it then, you penniless, mediocre mechanic. I’m awfully frightened”

“MEDIOCRE?! I’M A FUCKING ULTIMATE”

He launches himself toward Gundham, knocking him to the floor. Gundham gets a few small, yet hard punches in before Kazuichi lands the nastiest sounding backhand on his left cheek, making heads turn. As gasps can be heard around the room, Sonia runs to Gundham’s side as Kazuichi couldn’t handle himself afterward. “You! How could you?!,” Sonia scolded him. For the first time in forever, Kazuichi wasn’t having it. “How could I?! Fuck you!”. Kazuichi got up, leaving a hurt Gundham and an appalled Sonia on the ground. Gundham turned to you.

“Control your lab rat or I will”

You felt shitty, seeing Kazuichi go off that way. It wasn’t good at all, but by the looks of his response to Sonia, it seems to me like she won’t have to worry about him for a while now. He looked that mad. You thought to check on him, even if you were severely disappointed in him. You had no clue where to look for him and made a mental note of possible places where he might be: his room, Rocketpunch Market, and Electric Ave.

And so began the quest to look for him.

Checking in his room was too simple. When he didn’t respond, it didn’t surprise you that he wasn’t there. You knew he wouldn’t be. I headed off to the Rocketpunch Market. Even if he wasn’t there, you wanted to use the opportunity to buy him a bottle of Ramune. When you got there, there were voices present. That’s when you made them out to be the voices of Nagito, Fuyuhiko, Hiyoko, and Ibuki. “So we’re just not gonna discuss what happened back there?,” Nagito intrigued. Everyone sighed in relief. “Finally, you ask something smart,” Hiyoko said,“Yes, we should definitely talk about it! Kazuichi was totally out of line!”. You got closer to hear, without them seeing you. “Are you kidding me?,” Fuyuhiko spat,“I heard the whole thing. Gundham was being a dick. Had I been the one he disrespected, I would’ve killed that bastard!”. “Well, what did Gundham say?”.

“He called him ‘mediocre’, ‘penniless’, and ‘pathetic’. Kazuichi hadn’t once insulted him. If anything, Gundham approached him!”

“I don’t know,” Ibuki said,“That’s still no reason to be violent! Violence isn’t the answer, only heavy metal!”. “Ibuki, what?”. Ibuki shrugged. Nagito thought for a minute,“Did you even hear why the argument began?”. “Well, Gundham pressed him about his relationship with Y/N,” he said,“but Sonia had asked. He made a comment, hopeful Sonia was slightly interested in him. That’s when Gundham called him pathetic”. “Well, it is pathetic,” Hiyoko said,“But harsh”. The conversation then shifted to something completely different. “Why was he so defensive in the first place,” Hiyoko asked, adding,“he could’ve said ‘no’”. Nagito laughed, shaking his head. “Woah! A laugh like that implies, you believe there’s something going on there!”.

“Ibuki, always knows what to say. Always knows what I’m thinking”

“They belong together,” Fuyuhiko muttered,“Its obvious she likes him”. “Is it obvious or did Sonia tell you?,” Nagito asked,“Everyone, in 3..2..1”... and in union:

“Sonia told me”

Hiyoko laughed. “Yeah, but do you see how they look at each other when Kazuichi isn’t thinking about Sonia?,” she asked,“It’s funny, really”. You decided to come out and without saying a word, grabbed the drink and left. No one said a word as you walked by them. Pussies, all of them. Lastly, you took the long walk to the third island’s Electric Avenue.

Sure enough, there he was, putting together a computer (or a different device with a very small monitor of some sort; it looked handheld). You didn’t want to alarm him, for he might still be tense. You lightly tapped his shoulder. “Hey, Kazu”. He wiped his eyes rather fast, removing what appeared to be glasses. You knew he did this so he wouldn’t be seen crying. “Hi”. His voice was quiet and tired. You handed him his Ramune, making him smile. “What are you doing?”.

“Tinkering”

“Can I watch you?”

“You don’t wanna talk about anything?”

“Not unless you want to”

“Alright,” he said, continuing to modify the device,“Let’s talk”. “What are you doing to that computer-thingy”. He snickered. “‘Computer-thingy’...you’re cute”. Blushing, you were left dumbfounded. “Don’t say that!,” you scolded,“So what is it?”. “I’m making a radio,” he said,“The computer monitor part displays any words that have been picked up by the radio signals. I’ll also make it possible to communicate with them”. You were actually impressed by it.

“That’s so fucking cool”

“Thanks”

There was a bit of silence, then he sighed. “Look, Y/N,” he began,“I’m really sorry about what happened earlier. I don’t know what got into me”. You shook your head. “You shouldn’t be apologizing to me,” you explained,“You need to apologize to Gundham.. and Sonia”. He nodded and mouthed an ‘okay’. He agreed that as soon as he saw him and Sonia, he would apologize. Now that Sonia was in the conversation, he got onto that topic. “Sonia and I can’t be,” he said,“I’ve always known this”. You raised a brow and asked why he pursued her for so long.

“She’s a princess. She’s perfect and kind. She never full on said she isn’t interested in me, so I figured she’d go out with me out of pity”

“But wouldn’t that be a loveless relationship?”

“Not everyone deserves to be loved. I don’t. What I fear more than not being loved is being alone”

“You’d rather know someone is there than to be loved by them?”

“Yeah, it’s fucked,” he admitted,“but that’s over now”. While you were screaming internally, you still felt terrible about what he said. If only he knew how you felt. The question is if he feels the same. “By the way,” he began,“I made you something”. There was a small box next to him wrapped in old newspapers and a ribbon bow. “You and Hajime have been my only friends- well, comrades, on this island. So, I made you both these communication devices!”. You opened the box and a small walkie-talkie device was placed. He further explained.

“They work anywhere on the island. Hopefully, when and if we make it out of here, it works everywhere else. So, y’know, we don’t lose touch”

“I won’t let that happen”

He smiled, warmly. He didn’t say anything else. You were both in a trance, looking into each other’s eyes. “Hey!”. Ibuki suddenly came running towards the two of you. You both snapped out of it, seeing what she needed. She fell in front of you, dusting herself off. “No time to waste!,” she said,“Sonia planned a party at the the Titty Typhoon, what a name for a club, don’t ya think? Anyway, its mandatory, so we’ll see you there at six. Ibuki, out!”. Before you could say anything, she ran off. “Well,” he began,“At least now I could apologize to Gun-dumb”. You sighed as he laughed at his nickname.

Parting ways, you headed back to ensure you could shower and ready yourself a little. As you did, you were grateful for the small moment with Kazuichi. Him not wanting to lose touch? Getting over Sonia. It all made you feel so good and now you were head over heels. Finally, you were ready. You opened the door and there he was waiting for you. “Hi, Y/N,” he began,“I was thinking we should show up together, y’know? Avoid awkwardness from earlier”. You smiled and nodded. “Great, come on!”. He grabbed your hand, dragging you along with him.

You got there a minute or two late. When you stepped inside, the music blasted as loud as possible. You noticed the stares from Nagito and Fuyuhiko. “You should find Sonia, then we can deal with Gundham”. He agreed, checking out the room. Finally, he spotted Sonia near the stage. Cautiously, we approached her. “Hello, Miss Sonia,” he said. She turned around, her rather happy expression turning into something bitter. “What do you want?”.

“I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier”

“It’s not me who you should be apologizing-”

“I also wanted to apologize for my behavior towards you that’s occurred from the time we’ve arrived. It was really inappropriate, so I’m sorry”

Sonia was no longer bitter, even if she had the right to be. She smiled, nodding,“Well, I guess when you’re being so nice about it.. yes, I forgive you. However, I really think you should apologize to Gundham”. Kazuichi agreed and explained to her that he was trying to find him. “Well,” Sonia began,“He hasn’t gotten here, but he will have gotten back any minute now!”. As if on cue, the doors burst open.

There he was, as tense as ever.

“Tanaka! I’ve been waiting for you,” Kazuichi said. Once in front of him, Gundham was appalled. “You again? I thought I’ve made clear that I was through with you!,” he scowled, shoving Kazuichi into the stage. “Gundham, let him finish,” Sonia pleaded. “Now you’re on his side? What’s wrong with all of you being so pathetic this day?”. Kazuichi got up, trying to explain.

“Just let me finish–”

“I have no reason to further discuss anything with a lowly, degenerate, and pathetic subhuman such as yourself”

“Wait-”

“God, Y/N, I thought you were smarter, but now you’ve fallen for him? You are equally as pathetic!”

“Y/N has a crush on me?”

“God, yes, she does! She is in love with you, you fool!”

“She... loves me?”

Heads were turning and the eyes belonging to them all faced you. There were gasps at first (like this morning), but now there were whispers and small chatter. “Ugh! What’s with you?!,” Sonia yelled,“Kazuichi was only trying tl apologize to you!”. Gundham was the embodiment of the phrase “a face of regret”. “Y/N,” Kazuichi began,“Is this true?”. Your breathing was starting to get worse and worse as you just stood there with an answer, but no courage to confess. You had no other choice, but tear up and say “Kazuichi, no, I-”. You were at loss of words. Then, you ran all the way back to your room.

Once there, you slammed your door shut and locked. You paced around a little, attempting to calm down. When you couldn’t do that, you simply collapsed onto your bed and screamed into the nearest pillow. Your throat hurt and despite having screamed into a pillow, it was still loud enough to hear the scream bounce around the room. You cried into it, for about 5 minutes, moped for 45, then cried again for another 10.

Bing-bong, Bing-bong!

It was time for bed, now realizing that if you didn’t die in your sleep, you’d have to face tomorrow. That was something you didn’t want to do. You began to get ready for bed. Suddenly, there was loud and demanding knocking on your door. You prayed, hoping it was someone here to put you out of your misery upon opening the door, so you opened it without hesitation. To your dismay, it wasn’t the next blackened.

It was Kazuichi.

Your face was all red again and before you could say anything, he spoke. “We need to talk”. You tried shutting the door, but before you could, he forced his way inside. He locked the door behind him. “What?!,” I yelled,“Why are you still here? I don’t want to see you! I can’t-”. He grabbed your face and pressed his lips against yours. “You aren’t one for words are you?,” he asked and after seeing you blush, added,“Guess I’m gonna have to show you”. He lay you down and began kissing you; you didn’t hesitate against him and wanted this to happen for so long. His lips felt amazing on yours. He began to kiss your neck, stopping at your chest. He lifted your shirt up and pulled down your bra, sucking roughly on your tits. He then made his way down. All that was left was-

“Kazuichi, what are you..?”

He unbuttoned your shorts and pulled them down tossing them aside. Looking up at you, he moved your panties to the side and began to work his mouth on your pussy. You whined at the feeling, shifting a little. He held you down, his tongue focused on your sweet spots. “You like that?”. You hummed, nodding frantically. His arms were locked around your thighs to hold you down. You took off his beanie and pulled his hair. He sucked your clit, whining from his hair being pulled. You knew he enjoyed it as he began to be sloppy. He moved away and wiped his mouth before kissing you again. “Sit on my fucking face,” he growled. You saw the fire in his eyes as he said so. “Are you sure?,” you asked him.

“Yes”

You straddled his face and he didn’t wait. He went at it, desperately this time. You moaned as your legs shook. You didn’t just want to sit there and feel stimulation. Noticing the bulge growing in his suit, you grabbed his zipper and pulled it all the way down. You pulled down his boxers and his hard member sprung out. You stroked him gently and spat on his cock. You heard his muffled voice grunt, finally deciding to blow him. “Oh, fuck,” he moaned, his nails digging into your thighs. He thrust upward as you enjoyed him even more. This wasn’t your first time, but it was the first time it felt so good. You stopped riding his face and lay down. He took off his entire suit and boxers, positioning himself between your legs. You’d given a blowjob before, but never actually had sex. You wanted it so bad. He pulled out a condom, slipping it on. As he did, you wondered where he managed to get one. He teased you with his cock in hand, pushing only his tip in, making you whine.

“Oh, you’re so wet”

He shoved in, stretching you out. “Fuck me,” you cried,“Please.. fuck me so hard”. He thrust into you hard, just as you had asked. It hurt for a minute. You shook, attempting to overcome the pain. Kazuichi gasped, feeling your pussy spasm around him. “H-Hey, are you okay?,” he asked. You nodded, your eyes watering; the sensation was overwhelming and in a really good way. His cock grew harder inside you, twitching. His thrusts were rhythmic at first. You can tell he was holding back, he didn’t want to hurt you. He wasn’t hitting your spot like before, so you wanted to help. “Baby, i-it’s not- fuck!”.

“I know, I know. Let me just-”

His hips went from a direct thrust motion, to motion as if his hips were scooping upward. You arched your back as he hit deeper and deeper. “Oh, you like that, don’t you?”. You moaned a little louder, covering your mouth as you were embarrassed and afraid someone would hear what went on in your room. He fucked you harder and asked,“Why don’t you scream for me baby?”.

“Someone’ll hear us-”

“Rooms are soundproof, be as loud as wanna be”

With that, you begged him to fuck you harder. He lifted your legs over his shoulders. His trusts were so sloppy, so messy it hit all areas of your walls, tightening around him. Your eyes rolled back, near frothing at the mouth. “H-ah! I needed this!,” you cried. You put your legs to his sides, grabbing him by the throat and shoving your tongue into his mouth. He moaned when you did, your grip on his throat tightening. The asphyxiation only further excited his cock.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach grow, you knew you were close. “Hh-oh, God, I’m gonna cum,” he groaned. Your kisses grew more aggressive as you wrapped your legs around him, pushing his pelvis deeper into you. “Harder, please,” you whined. He nodded, pounding you mercilessly. Once again, you choked him, dominating him with your kisses. Your pussy tightened around him. You bit him, feeling his dick twitch again. He was shaking and gasped, shooting his load into his condom. He collapsed on top of you, pulling out of your dripping pussy. “Oh my god...,” You sighed wrapping your arms around his neck, playing with his pink locks. His head lay on your chest and his arms were wrapped around your waist all tight.

“I’m sleepy”

You smiled and kissed him. “Thennnn... sleep?”. He shook his head. “We just had really good sex imagine if I go to sleep after that?”. You snickered, making a deal with him. “Fine,” you said,“I’ll forgive it if you hop into the shower with me”. He got up so fast.

“Say no more, princess. Let’s go”

Afterward, you gave him a place in bed, snuggling up with him the throughout the night.

Third person POV

The next morning, Hajime walked out of his dorm. He thought to check up on Kazuichi, seeing how abrupt he left the party last night. He knocked on his door, waiting. Oddly enough, there was no response. Hajime looked around, noticing someone in the distance. There he was, Kazuichi, walking out of a girl’s cabin? Now, the cabin belonging to none other than Y/N! He saw them laughing by her door, Kazuichi smacking her ass as she walked in front of him. Hajime backed up fast, hoping he wouldn’t be seen. He then noticed that they were not headed to the Hotel Restaurant. Now, it was starting to get strange and he had to tell the others. Once they weren’t in sight, he ran to the stairs then all the way up.

“Someone’s late”

Hiyoko stared at him. Hajime, out of breath, shook his head. “Don’t be too hard on him,” Nagito said sympathetically,“It looks like he had something to say”. “Well, I was gonna say something first,” Hiyoko was defensive as she cleared her throat,“I think rather than worry about the next blackened, we should worry about who’s fucking is gonna keep us up at night because I could barely sleep”. “Fucking? You mean, like, I don’t know... sex??,” Hajime asked. The girl’s nodded. “See, last night,” Sonia began,“None of us could get any sleep due to such erotic noises that went on till early in the morning. “Ah, yes,” Nagito said so casually,“Then I do know what you’re referring to”. Hajime decided to bring up what he’d seen.

“Kazuichi walked out of Y/N’s cabin this morning”

Everyone was paying attention now. “Oh my god???,” Hiyoko yelled. “There could be an explanation to that, y’know?,” Mikan whispered. “There’s only one explanation when you see him groping her and he doesn’t get punched”. Suddenly, two people stepped in. “So sorry we’re late,” Kazuichi said,“Y/N needed help..with...a busted pipe!”. “Aren’t you the Ultimate Mechanic? I never heard plumber,” Hiyoko scoffed.

“I do it all. Tinkering with stuff here and there”

“Right”

Kazuichi sat down, Y/N sitting at a completely different table. “So,” Nagito began,“That was quite the eventful night, right, Soda?”. Everyone looked around, having thought they had a world-less mutual agreement that it would be avoided as much as possible. “You mean with Gundham? I already tried apologizing, but-”.

“No, this isn’t about Gundham. This is about last night, last night”

“Nagito, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Nagito laughed, his hand motioning that he gives up and thats he’s over it. Gundham bit his lip, wanting to say something, eventually it came out. “Soda,” he whispered. “Yeah?”.

“You know for a room to be completely sound proof, not a single door or window should be open, right?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Go outside and let me know if Y/N’s window was closed last night”

It finally struck him. His face instantly became flustered. “Oh,” he mumbled,“You guys heard all that?”. Everyone nodded. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Nagito attempted comfort,“If its in any consolation, it sounded like it was good. Hell, even I’m a little jealous”. Y/N still had no idea. That was the case until Sonia had talked to her. “So, Y/N,” she sat down by her,“Are you and Kazuichi together?”.

“Why would you think that?”

“Well, last night we all heard, um, something”

“Huh?”

“Well, it’s not that serious, but I do have a question”

“Yeah?”

“The rooms are soundproof, right? Well, are you sure you didn’t leave a door or a window open or something?”

Y/N choked on her own air. “H-How much did you hear?”. Sonia smiled nervously, laughing in a tone that was just as anxious. “Um, everything?”. Y/N put her hands over her face and screamed. Kazuichi approached her and kissed the back of her neck. “So, you fucked and that’s it?,” Hiyoko asked,“Like, nothing comes next?”. Before Y/N could answer, Kazuichi butt in. “T-That’s not true! I’ll take good care of Y/N and I’m gonna love her forever!”. He rushed his lips to Y/N’s, making her gasp. The tension and temperature grew within the room, as Kazuichi promised he wouldn’t let a thing hurt her.

#fan fic commission #commisionwork #cheap commissions #kazuichi danganronpa #kazuichi #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #kazuichi x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi souda x reader #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa #smut #kazuichi smut #send requests #send asks #taking requests #taking asks

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tosikoarts · 3 years

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Modern AU Ogata BF HC

Hey-hey! It took some time but there you go, honey ♡ Got carried away thinking about how Ogata feeding stray cats >>> everything else. Hope you enjoy these headcanons!! You can check tosikowrites tag for more.

General:

Noda once said that in a modern setting Ogata would be a dentist but let me disagree with him. I can clearly see Ogata as a photographer, a successful one, the one that allows himself to be arrogant without a fear that his client will drop him. Thanks to the unique style and skillful handling of light, Ogata quickly became popular among ordinary photography lovers and pompous snobs and now he does not miss a single opportunity to prick the latter. Knows he is good at what he is doing and takes full advantage of this.

Despite what is written above, Ogata still lives in a small apartment on the outskirts of Sapporo and doesn’t plan to move out in the nearest future. Partially it is due to the feeling of emancipation from beloved father and the sweetest stepbrother who cannot stop prying into his affairs. Last month Yuusaku has sneaked to the private galleries where Ogata was presenting his new photoshoots two times leaving Hyakunosuke in a state of stupid stupor when he was welcomed with a warm brotherly hug.

Still a salty little bitch online. Has few throwaway accounts to start a discourse on any topic that is even minimally discussable. Is immune to death threats at this point. Has met Vasily online and can’t stop discussing Russian politics with him from whatever crazy thing Vladimir Zhirinovsky has said (Ogata loses thousands of brain cells reading articles about him) to the news about the alleged Putin palace. He now knows some Russian too, mostly swear words and basic phrases.

Constantly torn between I don’t need anybody and if I don’t interact with a human being in a less hostile manner I will go apeshit. Meets up with Shiraishi, Sugimoto, Tanigaki, and Kiroranke once in a while to piss off Sugi and teasingly ask Tanigaki if he wants another nude photo shoot. By the way, he lives on black coffee with no sugar or milk so Ogata often runs into Tsukishima when the man orders a triple espresso and teriyaki chicken sandwich. If Koito is not here, they chat for a little secret wish to never meet again. Then they meet next week and the situation repeats itself as in a Groundhog Day.

There is no place for another cat in his apartment but Ogata loves cats and makes sure to feed and pet every one on his street. Once raised a whole litter of kittens whose mother was sadly hit by a car and became an adoptive father for three big bois who visit his apartment complex for free head pats and treats. Doesn’t share this part of his life since Ogata doesn’t want to be seen as a kindhearted person lmao.

BF HC:

Where could you meet Ogata if not on Tinder? The description of his profile was extremely cryptic and consisted only of name, height, and weight, nothing else. The first few days of talking to him feel like you are being looked down on even though Ogata acts pretty friendly and puts some effort into getting to know you out of casual wyd and you up texts. Goes offline for a few days then comes back with no explanations whatsoever. This first stage is a pure test of patience because Ogata knows he is not the best man around and can be a real pain in the ass. The sooner they get to know his bad side the better.

He doesn’t get fancy dates like candlelight dinner or going to the theater. Doesn’t mix work and personal life either so do not expect an exclusive invitation to his personal exhibitions. Ogata prefers hasteless walks along the river, ice-skating under the myriad of holiday garlands, playing mortal combat late at night with empty takeaway boxes chilling on the table. Cheap and comfy. If his newfound partner doesn’t know how to skate or rollerblade, Ogata will be twice as persistent: he likes to see them slowly learning how to skate as much as holding their hand through the night.

Vasily likes to draw. Ogata loves to take photos. For the first anniversary, he has collected a whole ton of photos for a cute collage. He took one when they were spinning in the kitchen like a whirligig making sure soup wasn’t too salty and noodles were just right for adding a sauce. Another one was taken when they both were trying old-fashioned pieces from the thrift shop looking like a modern-day John Lennon and Yoko Ono. They fell asleep right on top of Ogata and he managed to take a selfie kissing them on the top of their head. Put all the pieces together with texts and custom ring and voila – Ogata’s present is ready.

Teasing borders with light insults though he does not always realize it. Calls his partner silly in the sweetest tone before showing how to do the thing right. Pillow fights last until fluff flies from the pillows and Ogata won’t stop tickling them until tears stream down their cheeks. Says fuck me both as call to action and disappointed sigh with the same intonation so have fun figuring this man out. Absolute treasure and curse in one person and he won’t ever admit it but he is trying so hard to suppress the urge to push them away as a defense mechanism. Never apologizes but crawls back to them after every argument.

Speaking of which, arguments are common but rarely end up in loud door slam or hysteria. Usually, it happens when Ogata can’t control himself and pushes too many buttons of theirs so his teasing ends up being too harsh… Anyway, the cat got Ogata’s tongue and he doesn’t know how to use words to ask for forgiveness but! When he feels like it is definitely his fault, Ogata will cook ankonabe as unspoken sorry, I’ve messed up a big time and don’t know how to fix it, please don’t be mad, please talk to me. It’s rare but if he really feels this way Ogata will be stick like glue to them fearing that this time they will definitely leave him and his shitty camera all alone again.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy headcanon #golden kamuy imagine #ogata hyakunosuke #hyakunosuke ogata #tosikowrites

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

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Undercover Lover prt 120

120

This was what his life had become. Watching Armin slap down a two, Eren was ready to plot an escape all on his own

“Snap!”

Yes. Eren was well and truly on his way to doing just that. Three days and he wanted out so badly he’d sacrifice his best friend to the on ward nurses if it meant his escape

“Dude, are you even playing anymore?”

Sighing at Armin noticing he wasn’t, Eren placed his cards down. Levi was with Erwin, with Armin his temporary babysitter

“Sorry, I’m falling asleep. I take it you won again?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t count when you’re not paying attention. Should I call the nurse? You look a little pale”

“I’m fine, ‘Min. Seriously, between the staff and Levi asking every five minutes, I’m about ready to bust out of here”

“You know he’s only asking because he loves you”

“I know he does, but there’s a limit to how many times you can ask a person before they turn slightly homicidal”

Cleaning up the cards on the hospital table, Armin nodded

“Still, we’re all on edge”

“Oh, I’m well aware of that. Levi doesn’t even want to go back to the hotel at night because he’s paranoid he’s going to miss something happening to me”

Annie had booked a hotel room under her name for him. She’d also come to visit, which had been nice seeing she gave him no sympathy. Her bluntness was refreshing

“That’s because he loves you. He was grumbling when you kicked him out”

Eren wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t kick the guilt of Levi having nothing to do when he did. His boyfriend had been kicked out twice now, grumbling each time and acting like talking to Erwin was the end of the world. He was fine during the day, the problem being the last two nights without Levi he’d come to realise how much he relied on his alpha being there to “protect” him and keep his omega calm enough so he could actually rest. The first morning after Levi had forced to go to the hotel, his boyfriend had come to visit smelling of cleaning products and blood. It didn’t take a genius to work out that Levi had been cleaning his blood out of Erwin’s car, not that his boyfriend admitted it as he distracted him with real food and half strength coffee

“I know he does. Anyway, have you heard from Pixis?”

“Yeah. He said to stay away for now, but wouldn’t tell me what’s going on there. Was working with Levi always this dramatic? I don’t know how you kept up if this is what it was like”

Noticing Armin changing topic, Eren supposed that not for the first time he’d be the last to know what was going. He couldn’t help being the only omega in the group, but before then he’d basically been a beta. Never once had not being an alpha stopped him before, nor had Pixis treated him as anything less. To be coddled so much felt rude, despite his shitty omega lapping that shit up. He didn’t want to be defined by the thing that lived in his head. The only good things to come out of presenting was the sex and Levi, and then Renee. If only he could go back in time and pay more attention to the things he’d ignored because he’d thought they’d never apply to him.

Still… a smile played on his lips at the thought of how much Levi really hated his work overalls and the way he’d look at engine grease as if it’d insulted every cleaning product he owned

“No… it was shit, but it was fun at the same time. Work was… it was shit. I mean, the car owners had no respect for us, and Rod only kept me around to be his pet “Killer Cop”, but then Levi came along… and it got better. He didn’t take my shit. He kept pushing me and pushing me, then decided we should date. I don’t know why… I don’t think I’m the best omega out there… half the time my omega just wants to sook it to the point where I’m done with myself. And I… I’ve told him so many times I want a partner, not a babysitter. I know he had a scare, I know I fucked up, but now I’ve got to fix this shit Floch caused and even if we get through this, I don’t know if we’ll be what we were because Floch made such a mess of things. I stayed away because I didn’t want you guys caught up in my mess. Then it turns out my mess has ended up with everything like this and I’m just so done. You’re all keeping shit from me. Do you know how exhausting it is? I’m dreading seeing Mikasa… I know she’s going to fuss. I’m dreading seeing the kids because how do you tell them that their niece might just die before she’s born because there father can’t even get being pregnant right? I’m sorry, ‘Min. Maybe you should go see what the others are up to. I’m not very good company”

There were things he needed to put in order. Things he needed to tell Levi without Levi brushing it off and telling him it’d all be okay. Levi’s scent was turning towards another stress induced rut which wouldn’t do his alpha any good. They’d talked, but Levi wasn’t able to talk about losing Renee, or putting Eren’s affairs in order. His mate would freeze up and change topic, while Eren felt he was pushing his depression onto him by wanting to make his feelings known

“Have you told Levi this?”

Levi already knew he was self conscious in the face of his accomplished sister. And he’d unloaded on him about Floch and how sorry he was that he’d dragged him into their lives

“Yes and no. I want to sort my will out, and make sure Levi knows what I want if it all goes wrong… I’m not trying to be miserable but at the same time, if anything happens, I want him to have Renee. He doesn’t think he can be a dad, but he’s so in love with her. I know he’s going to be a great dad to her, I didn’t doubt that, and don’t. Yes, I’ve told him that over and over, but he’s still scared… I’m scared too. I didn’t even think. When I saw Floch with that gun, I was so fucking angry”

“Levi yelled at Erwin about it. About not watching Floch and if he was tired then he should have swapped out. He’d let him go to the bathroom alone. I don’t know when, but Floch must have gotten your gun and stashed it in there. Levi had asked Erwin to get the keys, and Floch must have stuffed the gun in his pants or something when he came out the bathroom”

“He told me they’d talked”

“Erwin feels like shit about it. He even cried, but don’t tell him I said that”

“I doubt Erwin would cry over me”

“He’s really happy for you and Levi, and he’s beating himself up. He said he should have woken Mike or Gunther or Eld so that someone else had eyes on Floch”

“I still fucked up. I threw myself at him because he pointed my gun at Levi. Levi never would have forgiven me if I’d been shot and lost Renee”

“Tch. You really are the world’s you shitty idiot. I leave you alone and come back to beating yourself up again. Haven’t I told you it’s not your fault?”

Fucking sprung by his boyfriend, Eren hadn’t noticed him come back. Armin looked panicked at the alpha standing in the doorway

“But…”

As Eren went to justify himself, Armin spoke at the same time. His words dying in this throat

“I’m going to go somewhere that isn’t here right now”

Stupid Armin had the freedom to flee, all he had was the freedom to sit on the damn bed and feel stupid for letting himself the caught

“I thought we talked about this”

“And I thought you were with Erwin”

Walking over to him, Levi pushed the hospital table out the way, before climbing up to sit beside him. Flicking him against the ear, Eren swatted at his boyfriend’s fingers

“What the shit?”

“I leave you alone and you go and get shitty ideas again”

“It’s not shitty”

“It is if it’s upsetting you”

“You’re upsetting me”

Whelp. He’d said it now. Instead of getting mad, Levi took his hand in his

“I’ve noticed, though I didn’t think you’d be complaining to Armin about me”

“I wasn’t complaining about you… much”

“Mhmm. I thought we talked about this”

“We did”

“Then why didn’t you tell me it’s still on your mind?”

“Because you don’t want to talk about the serious stuff”

“Like how scared I was when you charged Floch?”

“And that you’re not okay. And that you’re still mad about what I did”

“I can be mad, and I can be upset, but I’m far madder at myself”

“You’re not the idiot”

Sighing at him, Levi rested his head against Eren’s shoulder

“You’re not an idiot. I’m the idiot. I should have been the one to protect you. You’re always charging off getting yourself hurt, because you want to protect everyone. I don’t blame you, and it’s not you I’m mad at”

Levi should be. Renee was their little girl

“I’m dumb. I couldn’t work Floch out until everything was too late. I couldn’t think of a plan to get us out of there when he threatened you. I keep weighing you down when you’re the only thing that makes me actually happy”

“It’s not forever. This is why I have to be three steps ahead of you. I was sorting out your discharge, after talking to Erwin”

“Maybe I should stay here?”

“Tch. You know I can’t do this conversation thing for shit. I know you have questions, and I’ve been delaying them”

“It feels like you’re all keeping secrets from me”

“I’m not”

“You didn’t tell me you yelled at Erwin”

“It was hardly my finest hour. I didn’t want you to worry”

Levi was such a hypocrite. Eren could have smacked him, but his boyfriend was holding his hand

“I’m already worried about you. You smell like you’re going to go into a rut”

“I’m not… but I have been better. I’m not handling things too well”

“Then tell me that”

“Tell you that I can’t sleep? Or that I’m paranoid Kenny is going to come for you?”

“It’s better than hurting my feeling by treating me like I’m a lowly omega”

Snorting at him, Eren saved his offence on the grounds of hearing Levi out

“Eren, you’re hardly a lowly omega. You’re still capable. My alpha… my alpha hasn’t exactly been cooperative mentally”

“I know you’ve got it hard”

“But you don’t know it reminds me constantly of how we failed you. At this stage I don’t think I can protect you”

Levi had it all wrong. His alpha didn’t have to protect him, he’d protect both of Levi and their daughter from Levi’s fears over Kenny

“You don’t need to”

“I want to. That’s the difference. I don’t want you crying or depressed over the shit we can’t control. You’re much better when you smile like the shit head you are”

“Are we going to be okay? Us?”

“Yeah. That’s the one thing I have faith in right about now. Erwin can’t do much right now, so I don’t have the answers you want… and it’s killing me knowing you’re worrying about him”

“You don’t need to be jealous, I’m not about to run off to be with Erwin”

“I know that”

Huffing at him, Levi didn’t have to be so cute. Lifting his boyfriend’s hand, Eren made sure to lock eyes with Levi before licking the back instead of kissing it

“What the fuck, you nasty shit?”

“I licked it, it’s mine. You’re my alpha. I might be worried about our friends, but I’m worried about you the most”

Levi’s nose was so wrinkled in disgust that Eren almost felt a twinge of feeling bad

“You licked my fucking hand”

“Like you weren’t going to go wash your hands as it was”

“I was negotiating your release, you disgusting arsehole. Give me my hand back”

As Levi tried to pull his hand away, Eren held it tighter

“Not just yet. You see, I like it when my boyfriend holds my hand”

“He’ll be holding your head in the toilet if you’re going to keep licking his hand”

“I licked it once. How long until I’m free?”

“They want a solid bowel movement. None of this squirting shit”

Levi had a big mouth and had dobbed him in

“That’s not my fault. Blame the antibiotics”

“If you can squeeze a solid turd then they’re not letting you out”

“If you bring me some coffee I’m sure I can arrange it”

“They said solid. You know, the logs you like to drop at home”

“So my getting out of hospital is pending on my ability to split myself in two, and not even in a fun way. Maybe I’ll just stay here until I get a better off?”

“Or you’ll get your shit together so I can finally get you out of this shit hole”

Leaning across, Levi drew back as Eren forced a small kiss on his lips. His alpha thinking he was about to be licked somehow made the moment funnier

“What the shit was that for?”

“For you, I’ll try my hardest to drop the biggest shit ever”

“That’s my man. But seriously brat, I’m not mad at you”

“I’m mad at me… but I’m happy with you. Think you can handle a few more weeks of your pregnant boyfriend being a wreck?”

“As long as he doesn’t push out daughter out doing that shit, I think I might be able to handle it”

“Good, because it’d really suck having to go back to everyone wondering if we’re okay”

“We’re okay, you shitty omega. And don’t worry about Mikasa”

“Did you talk to her!? Armin didn’t tell me you two talked”

Levi chuckled at him, Eren changing the atmosphere between them with his “outburst”

“No. But, I’m not about to let her upset you. There’s nothing defective about you”

Jesus Christ. Levi needed to husband him up already

“Shit, I love you. I’ve been feeling pretty fucking defective. I mean, I know people have much worse pregnancies…”

“Tch. And they feel as shitty as you do about it, but they make it through”

“I really couldn’t have made it this far without you. You’re going to be a great dad… I just…”

“She’s your daughter, brat. Every time you’re told not to do something, or you can’t, you go ahead and do it anyway”

“A bit like you. I’m proud you’re her dad. And I know you think you might not be able to do this, but you can. I don’t go around presenting for any random alpha”

Squeezing his hand, Levi gave a half shrug at the same time

“I don’t know about that… I mean…”

Smacking Levi before he could continue, Eren the nuzzled into his boyfriend’s hair mumbling against the soft black locks

“Rude. I really am dreading going back. I don’t want the fuss”

“I’m pretty sure we don’t have an option when it comes to our friends”

“I know. You know, I kind of miss the old you. Remember the days when going out automatically meant showering when we got home? And you would have damn near murdered me once for licking you hand”

“That’s what happens when you wind up with a brat 15 years your junior. Apparently I had a stick up my arse and didn’t know it”

“You were fine. You are fine. More than fine if I’m being honest, but I probably shouldn’t be feeding your ego. I’m just saying that I’ve noticed the change in you and I want you to be okay with that too”

“Tch. Sweet talk isn’t going to get out of here any sooner”

Laughing softly Eren shook his head. Levi knew how bad he was at this bed rest business, especially after three days of it, yet it wouldn’t hurt his boyfriend to accept a compliment once in a while

“Fuck you, I’m being romantic”

“And you grumble about my lack of romance. How’s that shit doing?”

Nothing screamed of “The end of romance” quite like going back to discussing his bowel movements

“Brewing… I guess it’s back to waiting?”

“I could beat your arse at a game of cards?”

“Do I have to brain? I don’t think I’ve got much brain power left”

“Nah, we’ll make it easy. If I win, you have to do one thing I tell you to do. If you win, I’ll do one thing you want me to do”

“Even if that’s drinking a beer and smoking?”

Sighing heavily, Levi nosed into him. Eren wasn’t sure why his boyfriend was going around sighing when he was free to drink and smoke everything and anything he liked. He should be the one bloody sighing

“You really miss it, don’t you?”

As much as he loved being pregnant with Renee, he missed beer. He missed alcohol. He missed chain smoking without judgement… Health be damned when it came to those cravings. Sadly, and falling flat in humour, his teasing came out sounding more like a sad whine

“You never really know what you have until it’s gone…”

“I promise I’ll buy you your first beer after she’s born”

“Shit, am I dying? Or did you just volunteer to step up and take care of our daughter so I can get drunk?”

Bumping him with his hip, Eren’s “hopes” were dashed and he was reminded all over again how good Levi was to him and how awkward his alpha could be

“Oi! One beer… and I think you’ve more than earned it for growing and carrying our little Renee. You’ve done well, brat. So good. Growing her and all that. Shit. I’m trying to say you deserve a beer for all this… Fuck. Go piss, you shitty omega. You’ve got a card game to lose”

Levi had lost at cards. He’d lost at cards and Eren had laughed until he’d been reduced to coughing. Eren hadn’t expected his boyfriend to listen to his teasing, yet his mate had borrowed a wheel chair and taken him out the front of the hospital to make good on his bet. Once outside, Eren really couldn’t careless about the bet. He could Erwin’s car, so close that it teased him.

Holding his beer and turned away from various people going about their daily lives, his alpha didn’t look to pleased about losing, even if Eren secretly knew Levi had lost to cheer him up

“I don’t think you could look shadier if you tried”

Grumbling at him as if they’d never gone against the rules before, his boyfriend cast a glance around them as if the police were going to pop out of nowhere and bust them

“You’re not supposed to be drinking on hospital grounds”

“Pretty sure Hannes would tell you otherwise. If you keep staring at it, don’t blame me if I swipe it”

Levi had even left it in the brown bag. His serious boyfriend was turning into such a delinquent

“Tch. The things I do for you”

“Mmm, but you love me. Hopefully tomorrow I’m out of this place and we can finally get shit organised”

“I’m going to try get us a meeting first thing Monday morning. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for that sack of shit and taking pity on him. Now, beer or cigarette first?”

“Beer… I want to get a good whiff of that glorious stink”

“You’re so fucking weird”

“I’m pregnant and I’ve literally been good for months. The least you could do is send a little of that nicotine air my way”

“It’s not good for either of you”

“Nor is being murdered by your pregnant boyfriend for making him wait”

It wasn’t until Levi took a sip of the beer that Eren fully processed what was happening. His boyfriend, who hated drinking at the best of times, had gone out and brought beer just because he was craving it and had asked him. Perhaps due to Eren staring, Levi took a deep sip, before coming up coughing with his nose wrinkled as he spluttered

“That tastes like shit! Why the fuck did I listen to you?”

Unable to not laugh at the level disgust on his alpha’s face, Eren shook his head, taking the bottle off his boyfriend as Levi pulled out a handkerchief to wipe at his mouth

“I don’t know… but I needed the laugh”

“You’re a shit head. One sip. That’s all you get”

“I’m pregnant…”

“Take a sip, you shitty brat”

Not wanting to, but feeling like he’d been played, Eren took a sip. He had been. For some reason only known to his boyfriend, his mate had taken a bottle of alcohol free beer and covered it in a standard brown bottle bag

“You’re a wanker. You went to all that effort…”

It was Levi’s turn to laugh at him. His alpha had the sweetest laugh…

“It was worth it for the look on your shitty face. You looked ready to shit yourself at the idea of drinking while pregnant”

“I did think you were suspiciously okay with all of this, and you looked quietly smug with yourself when you came to my room”

Knowing Levi for as long as he had, he knew his boyfriend’s little quirks. He knew when Levi was hiding his happiness at whatever task he’d accomplished as he had this way a ghost of a smile played on his lips, yet you only noticed it if you knew him well enough to know it was there. Having been shopping, Levi normally wouldn’t be smiling. He’d make a beeline for washing his hands, then grumble about all the slow people who’d held him up

“Tch. I was pretty proud of this one”

“You should be. You had me going… You're right about the taste though. I miss going to the pub. I miss pub lunches and beers…”

“And smoking”

Eren nodded his agreement

“Yeah. I’ve got live through you now”

“I refuse to ride that shitty bike of yours”

“My bike isn’t shitty, and you’d probably grind the gears anyway”

He really should sell his bike then put the money towards Renee, but they’d been through so much together… Still, Renee and home with Levi was his future now…

“Tch. Did you just shit yourself?”

“Nope. I was thinking. I really should buy a proper car, but that can wait until the nursery is done. I don’t want labour pains as we rush to assemble everything”

“We’ll talk to Hannes about how to go about getting you a caesarean now that you need a new obstetrician…”

“Don’t remind me. It was hard enough to find a good one the first time around”

Annoyingly, he’d liked his last obstetrician. She’d made him feel at easy, and he couldn’t blame her for dropping him when he didn’t keep to his appointment schedule. Still, he missed his fortnightly trips to see Renee on screen. He missed someone who knew what they were doing being there to make sure his little girl was growing properly. Having two visits from Social Services hadn’t been exactly pleasant when he knew his job could be dangerous at the best of times. That someone could think Levi pressured him into keeping their little girl made him want to rage. He could have aborted. He could and it would have been his choice to do so. Levi didn’t own his body… just his shitty heart

“That’s probably my fault”

Despite being stuck in a wheelchair, Eren was quite proud of the kick he landed on Levi’s shin. Levi yelping and kicking the side of the chair rather than him

“Don’t be a shit. Fucking Floch fucked with my head, not every shit thing that happens is due to you. Hell, most of the unshit things in my life are because of you. Stop being a snivelling shit of an alpha”

They were outside. Outside in the fresh air without the stink of cleanliness and cancellers that weakened Levi’s scent

“Shit, brat… Were you trying to break my shin? I forgot how fucking strong you are when you put your mind to it”

“I bet I could still pick you up and throw you over my shoulder”

Glaring down at him, Eren only smiled as he held his left hand out towards his mate. Levi continuing to glare right up until he finally took Eren’s hand by his fingertips. Tugging, Levi stumbled forward, stopping himself so Eren was caged beneath him

“You’re being a shit. You do know there’s no alcohol in that beer”

Shrugging, the taste was appalling but the promise of real beer was still on the table once Renee came along

“You’re the one who started it with trying to trick me. I bet you even bought those chalk candy cigarettes”

“No. After dealing with you, I need an actual cigarette”

“I don’t think I’m supposed to drive you to smoking”

Levi could have drawn back by now, instead his alpha was maintaining eye contact as he let his pheromones flare to assert his dominance

“I need some form of comfort after that kick of yours”

“And if you keep letting your scent out like that, I’m going to get horny. You really do smell the best”

Levi finally broke eye contact to duck his head. Eren sorely tempted to kiss him on the top of his head

“I’m trying to be mad at you, shitty brat”

“Trying and failing… I… know you’re supposed to go back to the hotel tonight, but can you stay?”

“You’ve been kicking me out, and now you want me to stay?”

Affected by Levi’s scent, Eren could smell his own responding without control

“Yeah… I miss your scent. I feel better when I can smell you”

Less tired and less cranky… though he wasn’t sure that wasn’t his natural setting at the moment

“Tch. We’ll see what they say. Now stay put while I have a smoke. No wheeling yourself over to steal my shitty air”

“Spoil sport. I wonder if I’ll be able to taste it when we’re bonded and you’re sneaking off for secret cigarettes”

Shaking his head at him, Levi drew back before reaching out and ruffling his hair

“I’m not sure it works that way”

“And I’m not sure it doesn’t. Fine, go tease me with those cigarettes. I’m going to enjoy the air as much as possible before you force me back inside there”

“I know you hate it, but you’ll be out of here soon enough”

“Yep, and into the clutches of our friends. Do you think we should have grabbed Erwin?”

Not that Eren knew what to say to him…

“Shitty Fucking Eyebrows is fine in there. He’s does want to talk to you, but he’s fine. You don’t need to worry”

“He blames me, doesn’t he?”

Flicking him in the forehead, Levi scowled at him

“No, brat. He blames himself. His pride’s as dented as the rest of ours, but he’s also a prime alpha and you’re a pregnant unbonded omega. He’s licking his own wounds”

“Are you saying I should be worried?”

“He just needs a bit of space right now. Shitty fuck dared to growl at me because I smelt of you. It’s a shitty fucking alpha thing”

“Armin didn’t tell me that”

“Because he doesn’t know Erwin like I do. Those pheromones of yours are no joke”

Raising his hand to his left gland, Eren wondered how bad it must have been for all of them to have him around. He wanted to bond with Levi before Renee came into their lives, but felt shitty at the thought his ruined glands might not take the bite

“Don’t do that, brat. If he couldn’t handle himself near you, I’d never have let him in the same space”

“Sorry. I don’t know how to control my scent… it must be hard for you too”

“Tch. It’s fine. It’s a pregnancy thing. Don’t let it get you down, brat”

How could it not?

“Yeah. Now go pollute the air. I expect at you to get in at least three cigarettes before I’m trapped for the night again”

“Better make the most it, just wait until we get home”

“Thanks for that, now I’m all depressed again”

“I’ve got your back, brat. Even against Mikasa”

“I know you do”

#ashratherose #aot #snk #omegaverse #mpreg #ereri #undercoverlover #undercover lover

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just-a-quirkless-loser · 4 years

Text

New Beginnings

Part Five: Courting?

Part 4

Chiyo enjoyed her time with the pack. It took a bit of time on her behalf to come out of her shell but, she eventually was able to start hanging out with her packmates (although, she didn’t like Mineta as much as the others). She was still somewhat reserved, opting to spend time with Aizawa if given the chance. And, no one knew about her past or where she came from.

She still hasn’t starting her quirk training but, no one pushes her to do it. They know that she’ll do it when she feels comfortable with herself. Part of her wants to show them what she can do but, she’s afraid of showing them how much of a monster she can be.

Mirio has taken to coming to get the omega as soon as lunch begins, her pack staring at him weirdly as he waits for her at the door (one person in particular doesn’t like how close he is to her). They have lunch on the rooftop, laugh at each other’s cheesy jokes, sit so close to each other that they can feel their body heat. As much as she’d hate to admit it, she likes being so close to him.

He’s not the only person that she doesn’t entirely hate. Despite the jarring way they had first met, Shinsou and Chiyo are surprisingly close. Shinsou finds her presence to be calming, her scent of peaches and pine driving him near insanity. But, he’s also found that’s she’s clever, always having something to say or some inquisitive look on her face. She’s kind in her own way; giving offhanded compliments while she looking away from the person as to hide her flustered face.

“We’re matching,” Shinsou grins, twirling a piece of her purple hair between his fingers. “Aren’t we the perfect pair?”

“Get you grumby hands off my hair. My hair is nothing like yours,” although this may sound like an insult, she means to say she likes his hair more than her own. She fiddles with the fabric of her shirt (something her pack had come to know as her being nervous).

“You’re right...yours is clearly nicer,” blossoms of red on her skin.

“Whatever, you’re ugly anyway,” she stalks off to go be with the girls. Aizawa was off patrolling and that meant she’d have to conversate. “Stupid boy thinking he can touch me. So fucking weird. JIROUUU, HE TOUCHED ME.”

Jirou and the girls were in the kitchen, no doubt watching her stomp over with puffed out cheeks. Out of all the girls, she’d bonded with Jirou over music and art, leaving her to be closer to the outspoken omega.

“He’s been being weirder than usual lately,” Chiyo snatched a piece of candy away from Momo. “The other day, he gave me a fucking blanket.”

“Did you not like the blanket?” cue the offward stare at the candy wrapper.

“I-I it wasn’t entirely shitty. Had fluff n smelled like him.”

“Did he say why he gave it to you?”

“No. The bastard just came to my door and pushed it in my arms with a weird ass grin then walked down the hall with his hands in his pockets,” a piece of her hair fell in her face.

Meanwhile, Shinsou was outside with the boys working up the courage to go inside and talk to Chiyo. So far, she had accepted the blanket which was a good sign. But, he had no idea how she’d respond to him asking her out for food.

“Baggy eyes, just ask her. It’s not fucking hard,” Bakugou was getting tired of the alpha’s sour scent and pacing. A few more minutes of this and he knew he’d go crazy and go ask her out for his friend.

“Shut the fuck up,” Shinsou was antsy. Sure, Chiyo was doing good at fitting in and talking more but, was this too soon? She’s only been with the for a month.

“Just go in there and ask her. You’re the only guy she talks to on a regular basis,” Kirishima did have a point. It’s not that Chiyo didn’t like the boys but, for reasons she’d sworn never to revisit, she just didn’t like being around them longer than what was necessary.

“She probably doesn’t even know what a date is,” he’s trying to talk himself out of this, even though all the boys know he’ll have to ask her out eventually. “The only time she leaves the campus is with Aizawa.”

“Then, this would be good for her. Give her some exposure to the outside world. Then,” Kaminari wiggles his eyebrows to leave the suggestion in the air. Sero slaps him upside the head.

“This is why you shouldn’t be allowed to have hands,” Kaminari pouts.

Shinsou just shakes his head and decides to do it before he loses his nerve. He walks through the dorm door, confronted with Chiyo smiling. It makes his heart beat even faster than what it was before, the erratic beat sousing against his chest. He wanted to keep that smile on her face no matter what happened.

“Omega, are you busy today?” Chiyo looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Uhhh, I don’t think so. I was gonna paint some of my room,” Shinsou smirks. Ofcourse the cutie would try to seclude herself after daily dose of interaction. “Stop smiling, it’s ugly.”

“You hungry?”

“When am I not hungry?” Chiyo’s known for being a big eater.

“Then, get ready and I’ll take you out for ramen,” Chiyo tilts get head.

“We’re going alone?”

“Yeah,” Shinsou walks off before Chiyo can rethink her decision. He walks off, jumping up and clicking his heels once he’s around the corner.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“Looks like you’re going on your first date,” Chiyo turns slowly to Jirou, still not believing this happened. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t tell him to do it.”

“I gotta go,” Chiyo runs off to the elevators and up to her room. She’s tapping her foot in hurried beats, her body trying to suppress upcoming shudders.

‘Need Aizawa. Need alpha. Gotta get alone. Gonna lose it,’ she runs to her room and locks herself in. These are the moments she wishes she was still alone. There was no worrying over trivial things or fears of losing her cool.

“AIZAWAAAAA, I need help,” She screeched into the phone the moment he picked up. His breath sounded labored but that was probably due to him running home from his nightly patrol. “Shinsou. Me, Ramen. UNSHITTY BLANKET.”

“Kitten, you know I can’t understand you with how fucked up that sentence was,” Chiyo took a few deep breaths. “Good, just breathe. Now, tell me what happened.”

“Shinsou gave me a blanket last week which wasn’t really that bad but that’s beside the point and then today he asked me to get ramen which is unfair because he knows how much I like to eat and now I don’t know what to do and,” she took another breath when she heard some chuckles. “Aizawa, why are you laughing? This isn’t a laughing matter. This is life and death and you’re laughing like candy man.”

“For one, I don’t know who that is. For two, you’re overreacting Kitty. It’s not like he’s asking you to marry him. Just get dressed, go out, and enjoy yourself. This is a good moment to bond with him,” he clears his throat. “Well, not that much bonding.”

“I don’t even know what to wear,” she got up and starting rummaging through her closet. While Aizawa had taken her to go shopping for more casual clothes, she hadn’t picked anything really flashy because she didn’t think she’d ever have to wear the clothes on anything like this. Now she wishes she listed to the older alpha when he told her to pick something nice.

“This is what happens when you don’t listen,” she scoff.

“Just shut the fuck up and help me,” he laughs.

“As much as I’d like to help my kitten, I have patrolling to do. Get the girls to help you. I’ll be home by the time you get home with lovvvvvverboy.”

She doesn’t even dignify him with a response and hangs up on him as she moves things in her closet at a more aggressive pace. She can’t just go downstairs and ask the girls for help; it’ll make her look innocent and naive (even though she really is and they all know it but she doesn’t want to put the final nails in her coffin).

She starts to settle on a pair of light wash blue jeans and a baggy long sleeve when she hears a knock on her door. She already knows it’s the girls because she knows that Aizawa called them due to her stubborn inability to ask for help.

“I need help picking out what to wear,” she says, not even looking to see who it is, and walking back to the pile of clothes that were in the middle of her floor.

“Okay, what the hell happened in here? It looks like a hurricane came in here,” Uraka’s eyes are wide.

“Haha, really original,” Chiyo sneers.

“Hey, no being mean just because you’re nervous,” Jirou and Mina both chop her on the head. “But, seriously, you’re room is fucked up.”

“Are you guys just gonna judge me or are you gonna help me?” Chiyo clenches her fist around her shirt.

“We never judge you,” Mina rubbed the top of her head which made the omega elicit a small purr. “Aizawa was right to name you kitten. So touch starved.”

“Stawwwwp and help,” Chiyo pushes her hands away, missing the petting but she’d never admit that. Growing up, she didn’t experience the same physical contact that most did. And, when she was touched, it was with malice intent. So, it felt weird when she first starting getting close to the pack and they would randomly touch her.

“Hmmmmm leave it to us,” she didn’t realize that Hagakure was there before she spoke. She feels bad for the girl that’s literally invisible; it must be lonely to never be acknowledged unless people notice the floating clothes.

And, that’s how Chiyo ended up where she was now. Her and Shinsou were currently walking down the street to a nearby ramen restaurant, Chiyo fighting the wind that was pushing her skirt up. The girls chose a pastel purple skater skirt that had suspenders and a long-sleeve white shirt that tucked into the dress. Her hair was pulled up into two side ponytails, making her look even more adorable than normal.

They walked in a silence that gnawled at both of them. Both of them were nervous but, Shinsou knew he’d have to be the one to say something.

“I can’t believe you wore a skirt all for me,” Chiyo sputtered and turned to the boy, hands clenched at her side as she snarled.

“It’s not for you, asswipe. The girls thought it would look nice,” he laughs.

“Ofcourse they did. Either way, it looks nice on you,” she blushed and turned to the side.

“You don’t look disgusting either,” she sped walked forward so she didn’t have to keep looking at him. He looked handsome in his black jeans and purple bottom down. She figured the girls had picked out her purple skirt on purpose. “C’mon I’m hungry and you’re sitting there like a dick.”

“Dicks only stand up where they’re hard,” She puncher his arm before she dragged him the rest of the way.

They arrived at the ramen restaurant a few minutes later with Chiyo only having to hit her companion a few times. It was a quaint building with a two floors, red brick exterior, and a few windows scattered around. The around smelled just like ramen, which was a good thing in Chiyo’s mind. They were seated in a booth tucked away in a corner of the restaurant.

“Ohh, look at the two of you on a date. So kawaii,” Chiyo wanted to yell at the little woman that seated them that it wasn’t a date and that she only agreed at the prospect for free food but, Shinsou just threw his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side.

“She’s the kawaii one,” and she was silent. She was seated across from Shinsou, looking everywhere but him. It’s bad enough that he looks so good but he keeps staring at her and it makes her heart feel weird. “You’ll have to look at me eventually, omega.”

“I hope they put poison in your ramen,” she bites her lip when hey make eye contact. She doesn’t know why him calling her by her second gender makes her want to croon for him.

“Such strong words from such a cinnamon bun,” she quirks her head.

“I’m not a cinnamon bun. You can’t even eat me, dumbass,” she looks up and nods her head in appreciation as a server comes and drops her bowl of ramen in front of her. “This, however, seems promising.”

He doesn’t say anything as he watches her practically inhale a noodle. She looks so cute while she eats, swaying side to side as she dances happily, the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. She looks carefree with half a noodle hanging out her mouth and that makes him all the more happy he decided to court her. If only he knew she didn’t know what courting was.

“Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna eat?” He digs into his meal, happy with the comfortable silence that lands over them. They eat in the silence, playing footsies under the table.

“What’s your favorite color?” Shinsou asks her randomly. She stops with her noodle halfway in her mouth, wondering to herself if she even had a favorite color.

“I don’t think I have one,” she shrugs.

“Everyone has one,” she just shrugs again. “You have to pick one. Anything. “

She thinks for a moment. It’s not like she has a preference in anything so she doesn’t understand why this is so important to him but, she still comes up with something.

“Just one?”

“Mmm, you can have more than one.”

“Black, purple, and blue.”

“Why those colors?” She blushes. She didn’t want to tell him that she chose those colors because they’re the colors of her three favorite people’s eyes. “Well I like purple too.”

“Why do you like purple?”

“It’s our color,” Chiyo stuffs her face in her bowl, not looking up to catch the dreamy gaze on Shinsou’a face. “I see that makes you blush.”

“Shut it, bags for eyes,” he smiles. He brings his index finger under her chin and forces her to meet his eyes, his fingers giving her a scorching feeling.

They sit there staring at each other, both of them ruffled in their own ways.

“You’re eyes are beautiful; it’s a shame I never get to see them since you’ll never look me in the eye,” she gulps. “Do you think you could work on that for me?”

“I’ll do whatever I want,” she doesn’t look away even when Shinsou removes his fingers from her chin. “We should get back to the dorms before Aizawa tries to skin me alive.”

Heading back to the dorms was calling, both their hands intertwined. Every time she tried to pull her hand away, Shinsou would chide her and hold her hand closer. It was even more embarrassing when they got back and everyone saw them holding hands.

“Awwwww,” they were all sitting on the couches waiting for the two of them.

“FUCK ALL OF YOU,” she ran to her room to escape the heat from her cheeks.

“YOU’RE CUTE WHENEVER YOU GET EMBARRASSED,” Shinsou yelled to her, smiling harder when Chiyo retaliated with her middle finger.

“Fuck you especially, old man.”

“You should save that for Shinsou,” and that sent her to her room. She stayed in her room to keep away from the teasing from her packmates. It’s not that she was ashamed but, she wasn’t used to these new emotions. Emotions like fear, happiness, and attraction (most definitely attraction) were foreign and its hard for her to deal with that.

Her pack mates did feel bad for the teasing; they often lost sight of the fact that she’s not used to handling things like they can. Aizawa assured them that she wasn’t mad at them but moreso just freaked up with herself and her newfound emotional freedom.

“We’re sorry, Chiyo. We feel happy that you’re coming out of your shell for Shinsou. We don’t want to make you feel weird or anything,” Jirou would come to talk to her everyday (along with Shinsou).

She wasn’t mad at them at all. If anything, she was mad at herself for being difficult and troubled. This was supposed to be primal instincts for her yet, it feels like learning to be someone new all over again. Years of suppressing herself has led to this and it’s overwhelming to start over again.

“Chiyo, Class is over,” Aizawa was tapping on her desk as she stared outside. She jumped to attention, noticing that it was lunch time. Although, her pack was still in the classroom looking at her. “Are you good?”

“Oh, yeah, I was just thinking and stuff,” she grew red. “It still feels different being here.” She purred as Mina rubbed her head. Mina has noticed the particular spot and hasn’t stopped rubbing it since, noting that it makes the omega release happy pheromones.

“Bambiiii, you’re late to lunch,” Chiyo looked to the door to see Mirio holding both of their lunches. Chiyo can’t deny how gorgeous his blue eyes look as the light reflect off of them, his muscular frame leaving the the opening.

“Who’s Bambi?”

“That’s me,” it’s one of the few times Chiyo says it. “He calls me that all the time.”

“That’s cause she’s cute like Bambi. And those eyes are big like em too,” Chiyo giggles and marches up to the blonde alpha. She grabs her lunch from him and looks back to wave at her pack.

“And he’s Smiles. I think his name is pretty explanatory. We’re gonna go have lunch,” and they’re off to the roof. Shinsou stands there, his scent filled with jealousy. How dare this alpha come on the steal her smiles? She doesn’t even smile like that for Aizawa! And, she fucking giggled. And, he’s fucking feeding her. He’s trying to steal his girl.

Meanwhile upstairs on the roof, Chiyo sat with Mirio as she ate the pork cutlet he had cooked for her.

“It’s sooo good,” she fakes a few tears as she chews on the pork. It’s salty on her tongue and that’s exactly how she likes her food. Plus, he even packed her some cucumbers and melon that he cut into little stars!!!

“You think everything is good,” he hands her some of the cucumber from his bento box when he notices she ate all of hers. “And, I swear, you’re the cutest thing when you eat.”

“I’m cute either way. Or, at least, that’s what you all tell me,” she gladly takes the cucumber. The air felt good on her skin as she scarfed down the rest of her lunch.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he looks down at her, a smile gracing his face as normal. But, this smile was nervous. “Can I take you to karaoke after school? We can go right after school and I’ll pay for the food and we’ll have a lot of fun.”

“Sure. I like spending time with you. You always make me smile,” and that’s true. Chiyo never feels pressured to feel anything other than happiness and humor with him and it’s a nice change from her pack mates. It’s just pure, organic fun. “But, I don’t really know that many songs.”

“That’s okay. They have private rooms. Plus, I don’t sound the best.”

“That’s an under exaggeration. Remember when you tried to sing last week? That poor bird took a nose dive down a tree,” she points at the supposed tree below them. “Yep, poor bird had to end it right then and ohhhhh fuck stop it Mirio. Stawppppp,” Mirio pulled her into his lap as he tickled her sides. She threw her head back and tried to squirm away from the torture.

“Take it back, Bambi,” he kept going, watching the girl with tears in her eyes.

“Never you sadistic, oh shit alright, you sound like Beyoncé,” he laughs at her goofiness. “She ain’t got shit on you Mirio.”

“You’re such a goofy bug. But, alas, we have to get back to class,” she pouts. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll come get you as soon as the bell rings.”

He walked her back to class, catching the looks her packmates gave him. He just brushed them off and picked her up to give her a hug. Much to their displeasure, she didn’t wiggle away from his touch like she does them. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his neck, unknowingly scenting him.

“Alright Bambi, remember that we’re going right after school. Get those vocals ready. And those ears better be ready to be blessed.”

“More like tortured.”

“What’d you say?” he showed her his fingers to remind her what would happen if she didn’t agree to his voice.

“Such an angel,” she formed a halo on top of her head with his fingers. He shook his head at her teasing. Class went by antagonizingly slow, seeming to be longer than what it ever was before.

When class ended, true to his word, Mirio was there to pick her up. She just didn’t think he would permeate his body through the floors and land right in front of her desk.

“Well, Smiles fell from the sky,” he laughs at Chiyo’s poor excuse of a joke. It makes him feel good that she tries to make him laugh.

“I’ll always fall for you,” Chiyo goes to say something smart. “I know it was cheesy. Good for me, you like cheese.”

“You’re lucky that I really do like cheese,” they walk out holding hands, a normal behavior between them but, to her pack, felt painful. She never holds their hands. Hell, she still tenses when they touch her.

The two of them walked down the sidewalk, holding hands and talking. Well, it was more like Mirio bringing up topics and Chiyo putting in her opinion every now and again. But, that’s how they liked their relationship. She doesn’t feel pressured int conversation which makes her want to talk to Mirio and Mirio doesn’t feel that she doesn’t like his presence which makes her want to be around her even more. Hell, not that many people can handle him smiling constantly but, she handles it like she’s been with him for years.

“So, there I am, blood on my titties,” Chiyo hutches over as she laughs. Mirio (along with Kaminari) has been teaching her meme culture. “C’mon, omega, I haven’t even finished the joke. “

“I can’t h-help it,” she looks up at him with a blinding smile. These smiles are reserved for him and him alone. “You don’t even have titties.”

“Hey, I have titties,” their conversation is cut at that once they get to the karaoke place. They’re pulled into their own room, a couch to each wall of the room and a microphone stan in the center. A large t.v. is plastered to the wall, reading for the lyrics to come.

“Woahhh, this...is...awesome,” Chiyo throws her stuff onto the closest couch to the door.

“I’ll have to thank Nejire,” Mirio sits down beside her, despite the abundance of seats around them. But, she doesn’t mind it. She’s touch starved so, she’s not the type to pull away from his touches. It’s weird how close they’ve gotten but, Chiyo can only attribute that to the fact he gives her the same vibes Aizawa does. “They even have snacks.”

“SNACKS,” she jumps up and grabs a mochi bun that’s sitting on a stool in front of them. The red bean flavor makes her moan out in food ecstasy, making Mirio have to adjust himself. “You want some?”

“You’re sharing? You must be in a really good mood,” Mirio pens his mouth for her to shove the bun in. He agrees that it was moan worthy when he grabs another one. “Should I be the one to sing first?”

Mirio ends up singing first, gracing her ears with his “angelic” voice. She follows his suit, stumbling on the words but still having a pretty good time. He walks her back to her dorm, him giving her a piggyback ride since she was “too full of snacks to move.” It feels good to finally have her in his arms.

“You wanna know something?” Chiyo says as she plays with the collar of his shirt. She’s nervous to say this but, she wants to.

“Tell me, Bambi.”

“You make me smile, Smiles,” she nuzzles her face into his neck, a way for him to know just how much it took for her to tell him that.”

“I love making you smile,” they walk in silence for the rest of the way. They come to the front of her dorm, walking up to Shinsou waiting on the steps with the rest of her packmates peaking through the windows.

‘What did I do this time?’ Chiyo thinks as she slides down from Mirio’s back.

“Go inside, I have to talk to Mirio,” Chiyo wants to protest with Shinsou but complies as Mirio gently nudges her to go inside, his comforting smile telling her that he’ll be okay.

“What the fuck was today? We’re not good enough fr you? Huh? Shitty girl thinks she’s too good for our pack,” of course Bakugou is the one losing his mind first. His carmine eyes bore into her eyes, making her turn her head. It’s too much to stare at his anger when she doesn’t know what exactly she did. “You fucked up with Shinsou. Are you just being a whore?”

The word makes her visibly tense, arms wrapping around herself to keep from attacking. Aizawa taught her this coping mechanism. “What did I do to make you all so angry with me?”

“You don’t even touch us like you touch him. You don’t talk to us. You don’t play around with us. It’s like you don’t even care to be in this pack,” Jirou walks to be in front of her. “And, how could you do that to Shinsou?”

“What did I do to Shinsou?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re courting with him! What makes you-”

“What’s courting?” and that quells the anger of her pack. Aizawa told them she was behind in their world but, they didn’t think she was this far behind. They just sit their staring at her, making her feel even more uncomfortable than before. “Could you all stop looking at me like this?”

She chirps to let them know how she’s feeling, causing two overprotective alphas to burst through the entrance, their soothing scents makes her shoulders slouch in a pleased manner.

“WHAT DID YOU ALL DO?” Mirio pulls her to his chest, Shinsou coming to her front to rub the nape of her neck which makes her mewl embarrassingly. She hides her face in Shinsou’s neck, Mirio rubbing her nape as well. She’s essentially sandwiched between them; it’s more comforting than what she thought it could be.

“SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT COURTING IS! YU BOTH CAN’T KEEP THIS UP! SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS,” Jirou tries to snatch her from the arms only to be snapped at and pushed roughly. “SHE DOESN’T KNOW.”

“Then, we’ll teach her.”

—————————————————————————-

@sinclairsamess @sakurashortstack

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bleedingthirium · 5 years

Text

Gavin x Reader [loss of pet]

Summary: You spent the night trying to keep your cat alive, only to receive a phone call just as you arrive at work that your cat had passed away at the Vets. Nines knew something was wrong but not in time for Gavin to insult you with a pet-death joke. Author Note: I don’t know why I wrote it this. It was meant to be Nines x Reader but my Gavin muse took over (curse that boi!). No one asked for this fic. And I’ve been stuck on it for a long while so I’m sorry if it’s horrible. Also, my writing is all over the place. Listen, I’m no professional, alright? NO EDITING, WE DIE LIKE DOUCHE-BERRIES! Warnings: Loss of pet, grief, Swearing (because it’s Gavin) Word Count: 8,939 (sorry not sorry) Category: Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Friendship, Slow-Burn Romance Characters: DCPD Boys (Gavin, Nines, Hank & Connor)

You barely slept, you had been up all night with a sick cat and no access to an emergency veterinarian clinic. There wasn’t one that was open close by and the only thing you could do was ring the after hours number for advice. Which you did, multiple times throughout the night, to the point where you were so exhausted that you burst into tears begging them to just open the clinic and let you in. The best they could do was allow you to come in first thing in the morning. That’s assuming your cat lives long enough to see the morning through.

You had a distinct feeling that your cat had been baited. There had been reports in your neighborhood of cats being baited but you hadn’t managed to find the culprit. You had been lucky thus far, particularly since your cat didn’t often wander too far from home (you swore he/she was the laziest cat in the world.), but it wasn’t until you came home that a horrible stench hit your nostrils the moment you opened the door, making you almost gag. “Oh god, [Cat’s Name], what did you eat?!” you jokingly groaned as you stepped further in the house, hand flying up to cover your nose and mouth, failing miserably to block the smell. “[Cat’s name], here puss, puss, puss” you muffled the stereotypical cat talk as you cooed for your lazy cat to show itself. You were met with silence but that didn’t surprise you. As if he/she’d get off her lazy ass to greet you. Ah, times like these you wish you had a dog. At least somebody would be happy to see you come home. The stench was putrid though, so your attention in locating your cat quickly shifted to finding the source of the stench. You wondered throughout the house, eyes on the floor because you definitely knew your cat had an accident somewhere, but it wasn’t until you reached the hallway that your eyes landed on different sets of unwanted piles that had you rather concerned. Piles which lead to the bathroom in a messy trail. Your E/C orbs quickly studied the details of each different pile; recognizing blood in both the defecation and the vomit. Panic began to set in as your heart begun to race, beating so hard you thought it was pulsating in your temples! Walking further in, mindful of where you’re stepping, you peered into the bathroom to see your [coloured] cat lying on the bathroom tiles. “[Cat’s name]?” you whispered in fear as you slowly stepped closer before kneeling down on the floor by your cat. [Cat’s name] didn’t even look at you. The only noticeable signs of life was the heavy panting as your cat was struggling to breathe. A trembling hand reached out and stroked the [colored] fur, immediately he/she felt hot to the touch! That would explain why your cat was lying on the bathroom floor; it was the coolest place in the house. “Oh [cat’s nickname], C’mon sweetie, let’s get you some help, hm?” you gently cooed as you placed your hands beneath your cat’s body and lifted him/her up. Your heart dropped when no sound of protest came from your cat, just the lifeless flop of its body sagging against your own. Bringing your beloved cat over to the kitchen, you placed him/her down upon the table with another hushed coo “There we go, baby… just hang in there…” carefully sliding your hands out from beneath his/her body, you quickly walked over to the kitchen sink and grabbed a clean washcloth, running it beneath cold water before wringing it out slightly. Bringing it over, you placed it on your cat’s forehead, behind his/her ears and dabbing away at the soft [coloured] fur. There was no lack of protest from you cat who, like most cats, hates water. Your heart sunk even further knowing there’s very little the vets would be able to do… but you still pulled out your phone and dialed the vet’s number now that you have your cat settled for the time being. The phone call to the veterinarian clinic wasn’t hopeful at all. They had closed for the night and all they could do was offer advice on what to do until you could bring the cat in tomorrow morning. Even so, the chances were slim because if the cat had been baited, as suspected, the window of opportunity to receive an antidote was very limited. In order for a reasonable chance of recovery, [cat’s name] would need to have received the antidote within the first 30 – 40 minutes. Unfortunately, you had been at work all day so you definitely knew you had missed that small window of opportunity. The only advice the veterinarian could offer was to try and get the cat to throw up, the less poison in the gut, the better. You mentioned how your cat had already thrown up but also noticed there was blood in both the vomit and the faeces. It was when you mentioned this that the other end of the line went quiet for a moment or two, making everything seem so deafening quiet to you… You breathed through the words you dreaded to hear, “He/she may not make it through the night. From what you’ve just told me, his/her chances of survival are very slim. Bring him/her in first thing in the morning and we’ll see what we can do. In the meantime, don’t hesitate to ring us throughout the night if you need help.” To be fair, there was no point in being on the phone to the veterinarian because there was just nothing more you could do, but you couldn’t help but feel that the last hope you were holding on to had disappeared the moment you heard the click on the other end of the line, bring the phone call to an end. It was at this point that you placed the phone down on the table beside your cat, you took a seat facing the tired face of your little snuggle buddy, and just gently stroked a single finger upwards on his forehead, repeating the same motion in a gentle caress. Your other elbow rested on the table, thumb resting between your teeth as you mulled over what the veterinarian had advised to do, making sure you weren’t going to forget any vital piece of information despite the fact that there was only a singular instruction you had to follow. Your E/Y orbs glanced over to your phone, heart beginning to beat fast in mild anxiety about calling the only person you know who has cats. He’s not a veterinarian by any means but you know he owns a cat himself. Maybe he could give you some more insight? He wasn’t a very well received person in general but you definitely considered him a friend. You just didn’t know whether that feeling was reciprocated, which was why you were hesitant to call him. You also had no idea whether he was still at work or not, but you knew he had a shitty day so you decided to leave giving him a call. The rest of the night was exhausting and long. You panicked when your cat closed his/her eyes but the logical part of your brain reminded you that [Cat’s name] is probably just as exhausted from fighting off the toxins in his/her body. As long as you can see the rise and fall of his/her chest, you’ll be fine. The only time you left your cat alone was to make some coffee to help keep you awake (because there was no way you were going to fall asleep in case anything happened), or to go to the toilet. There were a few lows during the night where you clasped your hands tightly together and prayed. You weren’t religious at all but you were desperate for a miracle as you begged for anyone who was listening to please, please save an innocent life that didn’t deserve to be taken so cruelly. Throughout the night you tried to encourage [Cats name] to, at least, drink something. Even by dipping your fingers in water in hopes that [cats name] will at the very least, lick it off. The lack of fluid intake was a red flag in itself. The night painstakingly progressed as you kept looking over at your phone, desperately wanting to hear a familiar voice right now, someone who’s been through veterinarian emergencies with their own cats, but it was early hours of the morning. The minute the sky began to lighten from its dark blanket of nothingness, you leant forward and placed a lingering kiss on the soft forehead of your cat before you quickly made your way to your bedroom where you changed into a new set of clothes, reattaching your badge, holster and any other accessories you carry with you as a Detective. A quick brush of your hair and tying it back up into its typical ponytail, you quickly made your way to the laundry room where grabbed the carrier cage and brought it back to the table. Your cat had barely moved at all during the night and with the sun rising, it was now finally the time to take him/her to the vet. Again, no sound of protest came from her you beloved cat as you carefully placed him/her in the carrier cage and locked it up before carrying him/her out to the car. Just like it is with water, [cats name] would usually be protesting with a mix of whines and mewls from being locked in a carrier cage. Instead, he/she is curled up into a lifeless little ball except for the rise and fall as he/she breathed; which you swore had gotten shallower over the past few hours. Still in the same clothes you wore yesterday, your ponytail a mess but a quick pull with two parts of your hair had your ponytail back in a more tidier position, you placed the carrier cage on the passenger seat, securing it tightly with a seatbelt before you buckled yourself in and began the anxious drive to the vets. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were the one upholding the law, you were pretty sure you would’ve broken the speed limit on multiple occasions; and you certainly wouldn’t put it past yourself that you would’ve ran through a few red lights too. You reached the vets just as the sun had risen above all the buildings and you could feel the warmth getting ready to set in for the day, but it did nothing to warm that cold dread you carried in your heart. The moment you stepped through those doors, you were greeted by the veterinarian who was aware of your case and immediately took the carrier cage off of your hands, asking questions that didn’t offer a lot of hope when you delivered your answers; there was no improvement from your cat, you swore your cat was worsening… The vet had told you that he’d do everything he could and would ring you with any updates. There was no point in you waiting around because it could be a while before you knew anything, so you decided to head in to work and just remain on desk duties in case you had to leave last minute. You had almost arrived at the Precinct when you heard the ringtone of your phone going off, interrupting the deathly silence that had filled your car, the vibrations of the phone angrily buzzing against your pocket and not being answered quicker. Knowing you were practically breaking the law, your hand left the steering while and fished around in your pocket for your phone, thumb blindly pressing the lock screen for the green accept button. “[Y/N, Y/L/N]” you quickly greeted as you turned slowed the vehicle down to safely turn into the carpark of the Precinct. Perhaps it was just as well that you arrived because the next bit of news wasn’t something you wanted to hear. “I’m sorry but [cat’s name] didn’t make it. The toxins had already damaged [his/her] liver and kidneys and the heart rate was dangerously low.” Your hand clutched the steering wheel tightly to the point where it creaked beneath your grasp, knuckles turning white. You swore you could hear the blood rushing in your ears like you had just dived headfirst into a sea of icy cold water. Drowning. That’s what it felt like right now. Drowning, you couldn’t breathe, the only thing grounding you, in reality, was gripping onto that steering wheel. “I…uh, thank you…for, uh everything you’ve done.” You felt like you should be angry that you couldn’t be seen to during the night with your vet, knowing the sooner you saw the vet, the more chance your cat had of survival. But you couldn’t come to feel such an emotion other than the cold emptiness that washed over you. “What would you like us to do?” “I…I don’t know…” “We have multiple options; we can hold on to the body and you can take [him/her] home and bury them, if you wanted [him/her] cremated, we can organize that for you … or we can dispose of the body.” That last part had you tearing your phone from your ear in disgust and your forehead dropped to the steering wheel as you held back an anguished sob that was threatening to erupt. How could they be so heartless like it was an everyday occurrence? Perhaps for them it was, but for you? You just lost one of the most important souls in your life. Pressing your lips together before inhaling sharply, you brought the phone back to your ear and tried to keep your voice steady, though it was evident your tone was fall of grief as it wavered slightly, “I, uhm, I’ll…I’ll cremate…” “Okay. We will need your details and payment –“ “I’ll be in after work.” You said before you hung up in disgust. The more they were on the phone to you, the more you began to suspect they were only interested in settling debts rather than the care of an animal that was dead or alive. You could feel the familiar burn of tears stinging at the corner of your eyes but you stubbornly blinked them back. Whilst you had been hoping for a miracle to pull through, there was the logical side of you that knew [cat’s name] wouldn’t make it. You had spent all night preparing for the worst. Phone dropped into your lap as both hands were placed on the steering wheel for the need of physically grounding yourself, you let your headrest back against the headrest and closed your eyes. Your heart was pounding loud enough for you to hear but the blood had stopped loudly rushing through your ears. Inhaling deeply, you held your breath for five seconds before exhaling slowly. You repeated this a few more times until you felt you were on top of your emotions and you were able to step out of the car without breaking down. You work colleagues deal enough with emotional victims, suspects, stress of their own workloads and private lives without you bringing your own problems to work. Picking up your phone again, you pocketed the device and stepped out of the car, deciding to head into the Precinct with your head held high. Your day had already begun pretty shitty – how much more worse can it get? “Detective [L/N]! You’re here early!” a friendly voice greeted that you knew could only belong to Connor. Your eyes glanced up to his smiling face before looking past him to see Hank slumped over his desk, typing at his computer screen. Your eyes snapping back to Connor. “I could say the same for you both. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Lieutenant here this early.” You were surprised at how cheery your voice sounded, but you took it as a good thing. At least no intruding questions would be asked. If you could keep up the charade until your shift ended, that would be grand. “We pulled an all-nighter.” Connor mused, head tilting ever so slightly, proud that he used one of the more social terms in deciding to work nonstop overnight. You found yourself nodding in understanding. Figures. Why else would Hank be doubled over the computer desk as though he was struggling to type away, meanwhile the android still looking immaculate as ever. Lucky them, eh? “Looks like you did too, Detective? They’re the same clothes you wore yesterday.” The android mused his observations aloud as he followed you into the kitchen. You tried to ignore the android as you focused on preparing yourself a cup of coffee, giving him an answer in hopes that he’d pick up on the tone you were placing down to be left alone. “I just had a … busy night, Connor.” “Busy, what, getting laid? ‘Bout fuckin’ time if you ask me.” You didn’t even need to lift your head up to know who spoke so crudely; all within a joking manner of course. And if it hadn’t been for your current circumstance, you would’ve quipped back with a remark of your own like you always did. If it was one thing you and Gavin shared, it was quick quips back and forth. Ignoring his comment, you continued placing some milk in your coffee before finally turning to look at Gavin, ready to tell him today wasn’t the day you were ready to deal with his shit. “Jesus Christ Y/N, you look like your cat died or something!” How on earth you managed to keep your coffee in your mug rather than spill it on Gavin was a miracle as you stood there and silently seethed. “You’re a real fucking asshole Gavin.” “It’s my reputation, doll.” [E/C] orbs spared a glare at Gavin before dropping them from his smug face once you felt the familiar sting of tears pricking at the corner of your eyes once again. Head down, you walked past Hank who you barely spared a glance to when he was one of the work colleagues you always had time for (both him and Gavin, despite how different the two are or don’t seem to get along with each other). “Hey. You alright?” you heard him gruffly ask, to which you just gave a quick “Yeah, fine.” As you continued on to your desk that you shared with Gavin and the RK900 model that had been assigned to help him on cases. Hank had glanced at you with furrowed brows, not buying the bullshit excuse but he knew better than to pry so he left it for the time being. Though spotting Gavin in the kitchen didn’t take him long to put two and two together (or so he thought). “You say somethin’ to piss Y/N off?” Hank gruffly asked Gavin as he filled up his fifth cup of coffee for that morning. “How the fuck should I know?” “To be fair, Lieutenant, Detective Y/L/N knows how to deal with Detective Reed’s crude humor.” “See? S’not my fault then. Probably going through whatever it is women go through.” Gavin grumbled as he left the kitchen. Connor’s brown orbs watched Gavin leave before taking a few steps towards the counter and leaning his back against the countertop while he patiently waited for Hank to finish preparing his cup of coffee. “I don’t think it’s Detective’s Y/L/N hormones or menstrual cycle.” “Oh Christ Connor! Not before I’ve had my coffee. Fucking hell…” “Detective Y/L/N looked distraught when she walked in.” “Yeah, and now she looks pissed off. That’s what happens when you work in a place like this while having Reed as a partner.” Hank wasn’t getting what Connor was implying; that something else, something personal from home, had caused your usual bubbly and social mood to plummet overnight. Or perhaps he might have figured something was wrong but you weren’t willing to share therefore he wasn’t going to pry for answers. You knew he was there if you ever wanted to talk. Connor kept quiet, his LED spinning blue, threatening to flicker to yellow but he remained calm for now. He cared about you and it disturbed him to see you so… down. If he could just get a moment alone with you, perhaps he can try and find out what was wrong. Unlike Connor having no clue what was wrong, it was Nines that almost picked up on the problem immediately. The sudden change in behavior, you haven’t slept, you haven’t showered, haven’t changed your clothes nor brushed your hair. You looked…exhausted. As though you were just done with the world. There had been a distinct tone behind your voice when you called Gavin out on his rude remarks; normally you didn’t carry any maliciousness in your tone. Nines knew when you called him an asshole this time, you actually meant it – and it wasn’t like you to call anyone anything rude unless said in a joking manner. Cold blue eyes watched as you walked over to your desk, your own orbs avoiding eye contact and lack of greeting was evident; not that it bothered Nines overly. He had warmed up to you, so he was a little concern over your behavior. Normally refraining from stepping into someone’s personal territory, Nines quickly scanned your levels and wasn’t at all surprised to analyze your serotonin levels were at an all-time low. The cause of this remained a mystery, Nines only hazarding a guess at a success of 80% that it had to do with your cat, as it was right after that remark given by Gavin that your hostile levels spiked before decreasing rapidly as you walked away from him. When you reached your desk, you sat down and pulled yourself in, settling down as you always do, eyes snapping to the photograph of your cat like they always did, your first thought was that you can’t wait to see [him/her] tonight. For a split second, just out of habit, you forgot what had happened… and when your mind yanked itself back to reality, you were disgusted at yourself. Your heart began beating heavily against your chest, your vision blurring with the tears that you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide this time. Reaching over you yanked the framed photo down, so it now laid face-down, before you sharply stood up, sending your chair backwards with a spin and left your desk without a word. Nines watched your actions like a hawk. 95% success in assuming your cat had died. “Hey! Where the fuck’re you going? We got a whole heap of shit to do!” Gavin called out after you but all you could do was keep a hand over your mouth to stop the pathetic sound escaping as you made your way up to the roof of the building for some air and privacy. “Detective Reed. A word.” Nines’ business tone interrupted Gavin’s shouting at your escaping figure. “What? You know where the hell she’s goin? We’re swamped and I don’t have time to deal with this crybaby shit.” Turning his attention to Nines, Gavin made his way back to the desk, placing his mug of coffee down with a sigh, a hand coming up for finger and thumb to press on his nose; occasionally the scarring tissue would ache when his stress tensions are high. When he opened his eyes and dropped his hand away, he was greeted with Nines holding a framed photo of a familiar cat. “Y/N’s cat? So what?” “Correct me if I’m wrong, but given the fact that I am hardly wrong about my conclusions, there will be no need to correct me…I believe that Y/N’s cat did die within the last 12 hours. Your comment was ill-received, distasteful and an apology is in order.” Hardened features dropped at hearing the news, dread swelling up inside him, enough to make him want to puke. He took the photo before his grey orbs glanced in the direction of which you escaped to, knowing exactly where you went. Your mood made sense and Gavin felt like a complete asshole. Especially after his comment. “Fuck.” Grey eyes glanced back down to the framed picture of the beloved cat. Occasionally you would send Gavin photos of dumb things your cat did, or strange positions your cat would fall asleep in. He would do the same to you. It was never spoken about at work, but it was something that the two of you bonded over – especially when you knew a case hit your or Gavin hard and the little things you two would text each other late at night was just what you needed. “Fuck!” Gavin seethed under his breath again as he placed the photo down. Nines said nothing more on the matter but watched as Gavin left and followed in the direction of which you disappeared. The RK900 placed the photo back down, facedown, as you had previously left it so it looked undisturbed. Ice cold eyes glanced up to see Connor watching the whole scene, his LED spinning yellow; obviously having overheard the conversation and was now worried about you and your emotional state. He knew something was different about you this morning; you looked stressed. But he would never have guessed it was something as upsetting as this. “Con? Hey? Connor! You alright there?” Hank tried to grab Connor’s attention the moment he noticed the LED flickering from the calming blue to the troubled yellow. “Detective Y/L/N’s cat died.” “Ah, fuck. That’s never easy.” No, losing a pet wasn’t easy, and Gavin knew all too well what that felt like. He’s lost two cats in the past. It’s not easy. Fucks with your heart. It’s why he didn’t tell Tin-Can to fuck off when the android ordered him to go apologize. (Because Gavin wouldn’t be caught dead in receiving orders by androids). Making his way to the roof, he quietly opened the door and immediately spotted you leaning on your elbows over the rooftop ledge. Ignoring the world that continued to carry on below you, your gaze focused on the horizon slightly to your left but not to the point where you’d be able to spot Gavin through your peripherals. He watched as your head turned to gaze forwards before dropping your head in defeat. He’d never admit it, hardly ever shows it, but he’s fond of you. He cares for you. Fuck, if he had a good grip on emotions and all that sappy shit, he’d probably come to realize he’s been falling for you – just too damn stupid to realise it. It might explain the pang of guilt that stabbed him repeatedly in his chest. He’s angry. Not at you, but at himself, and it shows as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket and casts his eyes up to the sky, silently praying he doesn’t fuck up his apology. Wanting to fucking punch something, curse at whatever ungrateful god there is for placing such misery upon a heart that knows how to cheer up a gloomy office with sassy comebacks or a genuine laugh that, admittedly, the DCPD lack such optimistic sounds, sounds like a much better option right now than to have you witnessed in a mess by someone who’s not great with emotions and shit. Gavin was smart, he was good at his job – a damn good detective, but he lacked the intelligence when it came to you; if it wasn’t obvious on how he didn’t pick up on your sadness earlier and continued with his remarks. Lifting his hands that were still in his pocket so the corners of his jacket stretched out in an open gesture, he announced his presence “I’m open. You can take a free hit. Or more. I fuckin’ deserve it after what I said.” You turned to see him open to receiving whatever attack you would place upon him, his features stern but there was a slight sadness to them. “I don’t hit girls, Gavin.” You mumbled, turning your gaze back to your tightly clasped hands. “Har. Har.” You heard the flat tone of his sarcasm as he took slow steps towards you, having gauged that you weren’t hostile with him. “Look –” Gavin Started, his voice low and gravelly but with a softer tone around the edges. Resting against the concrete wall with his back to the view in front of them, feet crossed at the ankles, having no intention of leaving you anytime soon. “Save it, Gavin. I don’t care.” “I’m sorry, alright? What I said…was…fuckin’… I shouldn’t have said what I said.” “It’s fine.” You mumbled, knowing what that most of the time he doesn’t think before he speaks (which is what made you such a great asset to the trio. Where the two boys lacked emotion and empathy, you were the one that was able to bring that softness to the table). “It’s not. If Nines hadn’t said anything… “How did he find out?” “How the fuck should I know? Probably his robot psychic-ness or some shit like that.” Stealing a sideways glance at you, his heart did this stupid fluttery thing whenever you smiled or laughed at something he had said. The lighter tone of his voice disappeared as he uncrossed his ankles only to cross them again with the opposite ankle. “So what happened to [Cat’s name]?” “He/she, um… was baited.” “Shit.” “I got home and he/she was nearly unresponsive, vital signs were low… I couldn’t get him/her to the vets until this morning.” Your voice was steady but it cracked when you almost sounded like you were begging for forgiveness, “I tried everything! All night. Nothing worked. I did everything I could!” All shit aside, Gavin wasted no time in pulling you into a hug, your immediately burying into his chest as a sob broke out, before another and another. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye!” you wailed into his shirt and his arms tightened around your shaking frame. “Why didn’t you ring me? You know I would’ve come over.” His voice steady and calm. A small hiccup came from you as you tried to answer him, you would have scoffed had your sinus’s not been clogged from the sudden onslaught of tears. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?” “Yeah. And I look fucking beautiful.” “No. You look tired Gavin. You already had a long day…I couldn’t add more burden to that.” “Bullshit. Sleep is for the weak. I can’t sleep when I’m dead, alright? Whatever shit day I have, I can handle it. Next time you fuckin’ call me. I don’t give a shit what time it is, you call me and I’ll be there.” You merely nodded your head against his chest, your own arms snaking around his back and gripping his jacket in two tights fists, fabric tightening but he didn’t mind. Your cries had quietened but you were still distraught and Gavin stayed with you until you calmed down. He knew exactly the type of hurt that came with losing a pet, and he knew how much [Cat’s name] meant to you. Which was why he didn’t crack any wise-jokes, or tease you – he stayed there as long as you needed him. Because, fuck, if he wasn’t there for you during the worst hours of your life, the least he could do was be there for you now. After a while, you pulled away from Gavin and he let you go; both of you immediately missing each other’s warmth but would never admit it. You immediately hugged your arms to your body, and took a step back, too embarrassed that you broke down in front of Gavin. He seemed to have picked up on your awkwardness and tried to make it easier for you. “Just don’t go around tellin’ people I give good hugs. Don’t wanna make ‘em jealous, y’know?” Again, his heart fluttered when you scoffed, though your lips turned upwards into a small smile. Your glazed eyes met his and he gave a gentle wink before pulling you in for a side hug, leading you both back to the precinct. “C’mon. We got shit to do.” You walked back in the precinct but excused yourself to go freshen up in the women’s toilets, knowing your tears would have left trail marks through the leftovers of yesterday’s foundation. You still had to sort out the vet fee and whatever needed to be organized regarding the cremation of [cat’s name], as well as cleaning up whatever mess was in your home. You hadn’t bothered to clean up right away because attending to [Cat’s name] had been more important. You knew your house was going to reek big time, but it didn’t matter. You can air it out spray air freshener when needed. Walking back out with your head held high, though features were a little firmer than usual, a gruff voice caught your attention and you stopped in your tracks as your eyes settled upon the gentleman you had grown fond of since joining the DCPD; Hank. “Hey. Listen…uhm…I know what’s it’s like to lose someone you love so if you ever need someone to talk to, kid, ‘m here, okay? It’s never easy.” You smiled softly and murmured a gentle “Thank you.” “Now I’m not condoning this, but I have a good history of drowning my sorrows in a bottle. So if you ever need a stiff drink, I’ll be your drinking buddy. Responsibly, I promise.” Hank held up a hand in the air as if to mimic a scout’s oath or something before it dropped on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze. His hand was warm, large and there was a certain comfort to it – like, the type of comfort you feel from a father. Safety. That you know it’s going to be okay. Not to say that Gavin didn’t provide you with those feelings – you were just surprised at how easily your heart managed to calm down and not feel so overwhelmed. “Heh. Thank you Hank. Really.” “Yeah, no problem kid.” Upon arriving back at your desk, you were surprised to find a cup of tea waiting for you. You glanced up at Nines who had said nothing about yours and Gavin’s disappearance, either Gavin told him to keep his cakehole shut, or Nines chose not to say anything for the sake of discreet, piercing blue eyes met your grief-filled E/C orbs before glancing down at the mug and then shifting over to where Gavin sat, indicating that Gavin had made it for you in your absence. You smiled softly at the mug of steaming tea, sending a smile Gavin’s way despite the Detective being engrossed in a case file on his desk. It wasn’t until you settled yourself in at your desk and brought the mug closer, that Gavin peered up and snuck a peek at you as you gratefully wrapped your fingers around the warm mug. Nines watched the whole scene unfold with curiosity. Honestly – part of him wanted to shove both your heads together and tell you both to physically connect (kiss), but he knew Gavin was sweet on you and would approach you when the time is right (assuming Nines hadn’t intervened in the meantime, because, really, watching the two of you dance around each other is exhausting. Yeah you both thought no one knew – well, it’s a police station, everyone knows! Everyone except you two). The day progressed and a case came through but you opted to sit this one out, wanting to remain at your desk and focus on paperwork. Gavin didn’t complain, he hates paperwork so it was very much a ‘rather you than me’ situation. He knew, given the circumstances, that you probably wouldn’t want to join in today. Hell, he’s surprised you didn’t take the day off. But each to their own and all that, he supposed. Hank and Connor kept an eye on you when Nines and Gavin went out to investigate a homicide. Hank more so than Connor, but it was only done in a discreet manner. Hank often glancing over at you, making sure you were still doing okay, a couple of times he refilled your coffee mug when he went to get himself another coffee; small things like this you were grateful for. Made you feel less alone in the world. The late evening came and you bid your farewells to everybody. Piercing blue eyes belonging to Nines studied you for a moment, analyzing your signs; your anxiety levels were high, your serotonin levels plummeted further to the point where Nines was concerned for your wellbeing. “Will you be alright, Detective?” the blunt question had Gavin snapping his head up from his computer, his grey eyes narrowing in concern and watching you sharply. “Yeah. It’s just been a long day. And I still have… things…to sort out.” You offered a half-truth explanation with a small smile. Truth was you really didn’t want to go back to the vets but you had a bill to settle, as cold and unfeeling as that sounded. “Goodnight Nines, Gavin.” You murmured as you switched the monitor off on your computer. “Have a pleasant evening Detective.” Nines replied while Gavin merely waved a hand in a farewell gesture like he always did. You passed by Hank and Connor’s desk on your way out, placing a hand on the Lieutenants shoulder, “Thank you for the coffee today, Hank.” You were really thanking him for his concern for keeping an eye on you but you didn’t want people to overhear any personal conversation of today’s events. He waved his hand midair, “Don’t worry about it kid. Go home ‘n get some rest. You got my number, call me if you need.” This time it was your turn to offer a kind smile and a squeeze to his shoulder. “Goodnight Detective.” Connor’s warm sincere voice filtered through and you bid him a farewell before finally leaving the Precinct. Gavin felt a pang of jealousy stab at him upon seeing you interact warmly with Hank despite the moment you both shared privately on the rooftop. Was it because this was more of a public display of affection that you weren’t shy on showing – because Gavin put up a front as being an asshole? He didn’t even get a chance to process why he felt jealous knowing there was clearly nothing going on between you and Hank when he heard Nines’ voice in his ear; the android leaning over to speak in hushed tones. “You keep glaring at Lieutenant Anderson, I’m the one that’s going to start feeling jealous.” “Can it Tin-Can. I’m not jealous.” “Right. And I’m not an android.” You left Precinct feeling a bit better; more comforted, but the moment you got in your car and you were completely isolated from that company, you really felt the grief begin to close in. Both hands gripped the steering wheel as you rested your forehead against it, inhaling and exhaling slowly. You can do this. Heh, and you thought Gavin was an asshole; he’s nothing compared to the money-hungry vets who would rather receive money than act on compassion. Surely in times like these, one would issue an invoice – allowing the raw moment of grief to settle after the first few days of shock. A big sigh left your lips as you sat up straight and switched the ignition on. The sooner you dealt with this, the sooner it was over and you can go home. It was almost two hours until you finally arrived home. The peak-hour traffic was horrendous both to the vets and back again. You completed some paperwork for the vets, and the cremation service; it hurt even more knowing you couldn’t say goodbye, thinking about your cats body just lying there and then not being able to receive him/her back for another two weeks. You just wanted him/her home! You almost burst into tears once you pulled up into the driveway but the figure standing at your door had you suspicious. You knew who it was; the signature jacket he wore almost everyday gave it away. He turned when he heard the sound of your car pull up and sheepishly waited for you. You glanced past him to see a pile of things on the chair you had set up on the front porch, your eyes reverting back to Gavin who’s rubbing the back of his neck as though he’s deeply embarrassed. He’s not though… he’s just… awkward at it. You weren’t a one-night stand to him; he wouldn’t treat you as such. Not that he’d ever take advantage of you in such a state either. He knew he hit a new level of low in his asshole behavior today, he just wanted to make it up to you, and be there for you. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were in a deeply emotional mess right now, he would’ve told you that you look like utter shit. Complete and utter shit. You looked exhausted, there were bags under your eyes, you look like you were going to burst into tears any moment as well as passing out. Gavin may be…well, Gavin… but he’s very observant. Especially you. Despite this mornings’ slip up. “Hey, uh… thought you could use some company tonight…” he lamely started, waving his hand in gesture behind him, “Or I could leave this here if you’re not up to it.” Locking the car behind you, you carried the paperwork from the veterinarians and any personal items (cat’s collar, mobile phone, car keys) up to your house. “No, that’ll, uh, that’ll be nice.” You said, your voice wavering slightly as it threatened to break again. “But my house is a mess. Everything just…happened.” You lifted your hand that held your set of keys up in the air as though it explained everything and then dropped it back down in defeat. “S’alright. I get it.” The gentle voice soothed your anxiety regarding the state of your house. His voice was still gruff but you knew him well enough to hear the gentle tone that laced the around edges. A small nod of your head, you unlocked your front door and lead the two of you in. The smell hit the both of you but neither said anything. You did kind of warn him prior. Not that you knew this, but he had been through some similar scenarios with his cats before, so the smell or the state of the house didn’t bother him in the slightest. In fact, he kind of took charge of the situation. Walking in, he set everything down on the kitchen countertop, before walking over the window and opening it up, helping to air out the house now that someone was home. You began to help as well but he stopped you, “I got this. Cleaning stuff’s in the laundry yeah? Okay, well you put your flowers in some water, dish out dinner and I’ll clean up.” “No, Gavin, It’s fine. I-“ “Shut up, I got this. You just make sure I got your order correct.” As Gavin left before you could argue with him more, you looked through the bags he brought with him. He brought a bouquet of flowers; and not some cheap bouquet you buy from the grocery store – no, these were proper flowers from the florist. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Gavin entering a florist after a long day to buy some flowers. He thought they might help brighten up the house a little after such a gloomy turn of events. Girls like flowers and all that shit right? In the same bag was a variety of your favourite snacks; your favourite biscuits, favourite chocolate… In the other bag was Chinese takeout; your favourite. As if he got your order wrong, he knew exactly what you liked; Fried Rice without the Prawns and Prawn Crackers. Because you treat the Fried Rice like a guacamole dip, dipping the prawn cracker into the fried rice. He remembered this from when you both pulled an all-nighter at the Precinct. You ordered Chinese takeout and he watched your little quirk with utter amusement. You wouldn’t have noticed it at the time, but a few times he turned his head to stifle the grin that was spreading across his face. You were just fucking adorable. He had a reputation of being a bad-ass to uphold and he didn’t want you to see past that exterior. Pulling the takeout containers out of the bag, you placed it all on the countertop so all you and Gavin had to do was grab the containers, some utensils and plop yourselves down on the couch. You pulled two beers from the fridge and instinctively grabbed the cat food too, while you were there. Again, it was that moment where you just automatically did what you normally do and you went to go grab a spoon from the drawer to scoop the cat food out, forgetting momentarily that [cat’s name] wasn’t alive anymore. Your hand trembled as realisation dawned on you and your fingers slowly curled in toward your palm. Your gaze blurring from the tears that threatened to fall. “You’ll have those moments. It’s normal.” A hushed voice from the kitchen doorway announced Gavin’s presence, his arms crossed, a rag hanging from his hand that was tucked under an arm. You cast your water E/C orbs over to him, a look of feeling so lost washed over your features like a storm. “I…I forgot.” Your voice equally hushed, a slight mixture of shock and surprise (not the good kind of surprise) was held in your tone. “It’s normal. I had ‘em too when I lost Ginger. The next few days are gonna be hard, tonight and tomorrow morning will be the hardest. Kinda why ‘m here. Not gonna let you go through it alone.” He wasn’t going to sugar-coat any of this. He knew it was hard, he knew it was going to be even more hard for you because you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve. He knew what it was like to go through it alone and he certainly wasn’t going to let you feel that shitty way. You tried to smile in appreciation but your bottom lip trembled and any ounce of strength you were holding on to had crumbled away. Gavin watched you fall apart again for the second time that day. Throwing the rag on the kitchen bench, he pulled you into his chest again, wrapping his arms around you and placing his chin atop of your head so you were safely nestled in the crook of his neck. He swore to God, if he ever found out who baited your cat, he was gonna show ‘em no mercy. It took every ounce of his strength not to tear down the street and start demanding answers in a violent manner, especially when the whimpered sound came from you. His arms around you tightened and he began to sway you ever so slightly. He didn’t bother to tell you to hush or that it’ll be alright. Word were meaningless right now, no amount of ‘I’m sorry’ will ever fix what you’re going through. Gavin continued to hold you until you pulled away, taking a few shaky breaths as you wiped your eyes. And holy fuck you looked even more exhausted than you did before! Part of the reason for Gavin coming over with dinner was because he knew for a fact you hadn’t eaten since yesterday. He doubted you would have been able to stomach anything, and he hadn’t seen you eat anything at all today except for coffee after coffee. Having not slept, you would have gone 36 hours without sleep already. He would have sent you to bed, but he knew he needed to get some food in you before you send your body into a state of its own shock. “C’mon. Foods gonna go cold.” Gavin muttered as he scooped up most of what he could, leaving you to grab the beers, leading the way into the living room where you both made yourself comfortable on the couch. Gavin’s grey orbs took a final glance around the room, making sure he hadn’t missed any messy piles before officially settling against the couch cushions, groaning in relief. It had been a long day for the both of you. “I’ll close the windows soon. Smell should be aired out by then.” Gavin murmured as he took the beer from you and watched as you sat down next to him, curling your legs up underneath you. Again – adorable. But now wasn’t the appropriate time for him to be thinking too fondly of you like that. “Thank you, Gavin. For today. For everything.” You said with a wave of your hand around the room, motioning an explanation for Gavin having a long day at the Precinct, only to come over to yours with flowers and dinner, and to also tidy up messes that weren’t his to clean up. “No problem.” “I mean it. I couldn’t have done it without you.” “You shouldn’t be alone. You didn’t need to be going through this alone, especially last night. Just wish you would’ve called me.” “There was nothing you could do Gavin. [Cat’s name] was dying and I…” “Still. I coulda been there for you, y’know?” “But you’re here now.” Gavin’s eyes lifted from his food to glance at your sincere but utterly exhausted ones. Fuck, if that didn’t tug painfully at his heartstrings, he didn’t know what did. “What I said earlier…I shouldn’t have said it. And I am genuinely…sorry.” It was still weighing heavily on his heart, and if he could take those words back, he would. In a heartbeat. “It’s okay, you weren’t to know.” Your eyes locked with his grey ones, a gentle expression crossing his features, a soft smile played on those usually stoic lips of his. “Dinner, shower and bed. You’re not stayin’ up to watch some shitty unrealistic cop show until god knows what time. You’re beautiful but you look like shit and you need some sleep.” Finally dipping his fork into his Chinese food, he placed a generous amount on there to the point that it toppled off the small mountain, lifting it up to his mouth, he was about to take a mouthful when his eyes locked with yours again and saw you staring at him. “What?” You shook your head, though you couldn’t stop the shy smile that appeared on your face. “Nothing.” “No. What is it?” “You…called me beautiful.” Shit. He hadn’t meant to let that slip out. Not now, not today of all days, probably not ever with the way his courage was when he was around you (which was nada). But from what he could understand when studying your observations and body language, his slip of the tongue had been welcomed. There as a pause from him before he confidently confirmed, “I did.” And you did. You welcomed it. It was an extremely shitty day. You were keen on Gavin as much as he was sweet on you. Hell, he would have courted you good and proper had he known you fell for him. This small happy feeling was definitely welcomed amongst the sadness; gave you a feeling of hope to hold on to. You both shared a gentle smile before focusing on eating your dinner. It wasn’t long until the exhaustion really did begin to hit you and you were literally falling asleep while eating dinner. Gavin debated whether he should let you crash on the couch but he knew it wouldn’t be good for your neck or back. He helped you to bed, not bothering with a shower or changing into your pyjama’s because the minute your head hit the pillow, you were asleep within seconds, leaving Gavin to pull the blankets up around you. He paused for a moment to watch you, it was bittersweet almost. You looked so peaceful but he knew you’d be an emotional wreck the next morning when the event come crashing back into reality for you. It’s why he chose to stay. He’ll crash on the couch for the night. It’s not a problem. He left the door ajar for you, unsure whether you prefer the door closed or not, and made his way back to the living to tidy up and put the leftovers away in the fridge before he, too, crashed on the couch. He knew what he was going to do next; buy you a nice frame to have by your bedside and place his favorite photo of you and your cat in it. You sent him a selfie where you tried to take a nice photo of you and your cat but your cat decided to give you a lick, so you captured the moment where your face scrunched up in ready for a squeal. To him, it was a beautiful photo; captured you in your natural happiness, and captured your cat’s loving nature as well. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do. He’ll tuck that idea away for a rainy day because he knew that no only would tomorrow morning be the hardest time, but also when you had to wait for that urn to be delivered. That was another hard time to go through. He'll be there for you. [Should there be a part two? Like, Gavin finding a cat for reader, or reader asking Gavin to go with them to look for a new cat and they make a whole date day of it and Gavin’s just REALLY invested in it. It’ll be a little bit after the death of course. Tell me! Come chat to me via inbox or via anon ask box. Lemme know all your thoughts!]

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spicysawdust · 4 years

Text

🐙Tamaki x reader🐙

Finding out about your ex Oneshot

Overview: Tamaki finds out about your abusive ex when you see him while you two were at a cafe.

⚠️Warnings: physical abuse, mental abuse, mentions of rape, violence, underaged reader

This ended up being way longer than I expected and I was kind of on autopilot when I wrote this. I don't feel like proof reading it so I hope it makes sense lol

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It was a Saturday morning and since you had the day off you decided that you wanted to spend time with your wonderful boyfriend, Tamaki Amajiki. If it were up to him he would never leave his dorm room and you knew that so you took it upon yourself to take him out to public places occasionally to help with his social anxiety. You would always be there right next to him holding his hand.

Today you both decided to go to the mall. You found a little cafe which was perfect since neither of you had had breakfast yet. The two of you were sitting in a little booth with both of you on the same bench. He was on the inside against the wall while you were on the outside near the isle. You were like his little shield, protecting him from the outside world. You would hold his hand under the table and lead on his shoulder, whispering sweet things like 'I love you' and 'thank you for coming with me'.

Neither of you had to talk very much since you understood each other's body language. Your soft touch started to make him feel more and more relaxed. He would always tense up when the waitress came to check up on your table. You could feel his hand tighten around yours and you would stroke the top of it softly, calming him down just a little. When the waitress left he would melt back into his relaxed state, leaning against you comfortably.

Your eyes darted up to the door when you heart the little bell ring, meaning someone had just entered the cafe. You immediately knew who it was and you felt yourself tense up for a change. It was your ex. It was your abusive ex. The man you had been in a relationship with for a year and a half. You felt like hyperventilating just at the sight of him. The night you finally left him was probably the worst night of your life. He was so loud and violent, beating you and calling you terrible things.

You honestly thought he was going to kill you. You clung to Tamaki's arm as you stared at the terrible man before you. His eyes met yours and a devilish smile creeped onto his face. You quickly looked away with genuine fear in your eyes. Tamaki looked down at you with a worried face and held you close to him. "B-Bunny...? W-What's wrong?" He asked, his lips pressed together into a nervous squiggle. You glanced back over to the man who was now approaching your booth.

Tamaki was quick to pick up on the fact that this man was causing you to panic. You sat up straight, not wanting to look weak or pathetic in front of him. Your ex sat down in your booth across from you. Tamaki was now on high alert, scanning the man with his eyes. "Heeyyy Y/N baby~. How ya doin'?" He asked as if the two of you were friends. How dare he. After what he did to you all you wanted to do was scream at him, but you could never. Not in front of Tamaki. Not in public.

"I-I'm doing great. Never been better," you hissed. Tamaki was silently panicking next to you. He could tell something was wrong but he didn't know what. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to protect you? He had no idea. This was a social interaction that you couldn't protect him from. If anything he would have to protect you from it. Your ex was looking at you up and down with a shitty smirk. The one you hated more than anything.

He was OBVIOUSLY to old to be with you. While you were still a high school student below 18, your ex was 23. He lured you in with sweet promises of loving you and protecting you and you fell for it. Over the year and a half long period that you two were together, he started getting abusive. The abuse was both physical and mental. He would tell you that your worthless and you were nothing without him. You believed every word. You couldn't leave him. You're worthless without him. You deserved this. You don't deserve to have anyone love you.

You soon spiraled into a deep depression. More bruises and small cuts would appear on your skin daily, concerning your teachers. They never actually questioned you about it though. The worst it ever got was when he gave you a black eye because he thought you were sleeping with another student at UA. The worst part dating him was the sex. He would force you to have sex with him multiple times a week and when you couldn't because you were on your period, he would go fuck another girl.

There were even a couple times when he would full on rape you. You would beg him to stop, telling him that you didn't want it but he would just slap you and continue, ignoring your cries. When you met Tamaki for the first time, you were immediately attracted to him. Even though he was incredibly shy and reserved, you still wanted to get to know him.

Over time Tamaki started to let his guard up around you. He started to view you as a friend and he would be concerned if you ever had a cut or bruise. Just knowing that he cared about you so tenderly made your heart melt. You were falling for him but you knew you're boyfriend would be furious if he found out. You and Tamaki would spend a lot of time together while you were at school but never in public in fear of having your boyfriend find out. You never told Tamaki about your abusive boyfriend because you didn't want it to upset him. It took a little over a year for him to confess his love to you but when he did it was so sweet and caring. You knew you didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve him. You deserved to suffer with your current boyfriend. But in that moment you couldn't stop yourself from kissing him, accepting his confession.

That night you broke up with your current boyfriend. That whole thing was horrid and messy. After that night, you never saw him again. You're relationship with Tamaki was sweet and gentle. He never hit you, he never yelled at you, and he never wanted to hurt you in any way. He loved you and would call you things like 'beautiful' 'butterfly' or 'bunny'. You thought he was the sweetest person to ever exist and he loved you more than anything else in the world. You were his little angel, his little bunny. You were his whole world.

Your relationship with Tamaki was healthy unlike your relationship with your ex. The way your ex spoke to you like nothing was wrong infuriated you. You hated him. "I don't want to talk to you," you said firmly. "Awww, why not babe? Don't you miss me?" He asked. "She said she doesn't want to talk to to you," Tamaki defended you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders protectively. His heroic instincts kick in when he saw you in distress. He needed to protect the girl he loved. "No ones talking to you, fucking fairy," your ex snarled.

You suddenly lost it. You could put up with a lot of bullshit but your ex had just crossed the line by insulting Tamaki. You brought your hand up and gave him a hard slap across his face. The slap had enough force to knock him back a bit. His cheek was red and throbbing from the impact. "You fucking bitch!!" He yelled at you. You yelped and pulled your arms up to shield your face but the impact never came.

You expected him to hit you because that's what you were used to but he couldn't hit you in public. Tamaki took note of how you flinched and then looked back at your ex. "You need to leave," He said firmly, looking your ex dead in the eye. "Dude, seriously. Stay the fuck out of it," your ex fired back. Tamaki stood up and slammed his hands on the table loudly enough to gain attention from other customers but he didn't care. "Leave," he growled with an intense stare. It almost scared you.

Your ex just stared back for a moment. "Fuck you shithead," he snapped before looking back at you. "I'll call you later baby," he huffed before walking out the door of the cafe. Tamaki sat down quickly and looked down at you. You were trembling and your eyes were watering. Tamaki wrapped his arms around you tightly and stroked your hair gently. "Are you okay?" He asked.

He had so many questions he wanted to ask you but he didn't want to upset you any more than you already were. "M-Mhmm," you hummed and nodded your head. He rubbed your back as you clung to him tightly. "I love you Bunny," he whispered. The sweet pet name made you smile and you started to calm down. Once you two finished your food and paid, you headed back to his dorm room. You started to explain who your ex was and describe the things he did to you.

The physical abuse, the mental abuse, the rape. Tamaki was absolutely horrified and wouldn't let you out of his arms for the rest of the day. If he saw your ex ever again he might just kill him. You spent the night with him in his room and cuddled all night. He would tell you how much he loved you every couple minutes and continued to hold you close. Over time he was determined to show you how much he loved you and how much he cared about you. He wanted to help you forget about your past and focus on your future with him. This is what you deserve. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved.

#tamaki amakiji #tamaki x reader #bnha #mha fanfiction

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Hot as Hell and No A/C, Chapter 6 (Branjie) - Blackhighheels

Six

”Girl, you better watch out or the cutie who’s been flirting with ya is going home with this other ho,” A’keria points out and snaps Jose our of his thoughts. He has been sitting at the bar all night, nursing his one drink and doesn’t feel like doing anything else, not even dancing.

He only agreed to come along to the club because his two best friends have been nagging him for weeks now, ever since he got back home from Texas.

Jose doesn’t feel like dancing and drinking and flirting and fucking trade. He doesn’t even feel like socialising.

”Child, I don’t mind. He can go home with whoever the fuck he wants.”

”He still sulking. Still thinking about his hot fuck with the hunky cowboy,” Silky throws in their two cents.

”He’s no hunky cowboy and it wasn’t just a hot fuck.” Jose gets angry in seconds. This is no joking matter to him, not at all.

”If it was love, then why the ho not calling ya? Or at least replying to ya messages? He played you, girl.” Silky insists.

”It looks fishy,” A’keria holds up their hands when Jose looks at them.

”I’m going home. Fuck you, bitches.” He throws some money on the counter for his drink, grabs his jacket and is out of there before his friends can protest. He knows he’s overreacting, but he doesn’t care.

At home he kicks off his shoes, throws his jacket on the couch and lies down on top of it. Thackery comes around the corner and jumps on his back.

”You thinking too that he was playing us, Thacks? Or do you think we was right and he likes us?” Jose turns around on his back, but makes sure Thackery doesn’t fall down. In reply, the cat bumps his head against Jose’s chest.

”Then why ain’t he replying? He’s ghosting us, little man.” He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes. ”I know there’s no fucking future and I know I should forget about him, but I can’t.” He sniffs. ”Fuck.”

After petting Thackery for a while, he gets up and gets ready for bed. He knows the drill by now.

He gets in, grabs his phone and starts the video he needs. He hears himself laughing and joking and then there’s Brock’s laughter as he watches Jose goof off, unaware that Brock is filming him. Jose puts the video on repeat, because he knows he can’t sleep otherwise.

The last night he slept peacefully was the night before Brock came over.

Since Brock showed up at his apartment at Jason’s, everything has been different. Jose closes his eyes and he sees Brock standing there, in front of the door. He feels him kissing him. He can feel the panic again, which he felt in the bathroom. He sees his attempts to take deep breaths and calm himself down. He knew what Brock was offering, what he wanted and, dear god, he wanted it, too. But he was also nervous, anxious really. He could tell himself a thousand times that it was just another one night stand and he should treat it as such, but it would never be true either. You can’t have a one night stand with someone you love without getting hurt.

In the bathroom he had allowed a few tears to fall, knowing that in the early morning they would have to say goodbye. Brock had wanted this night as a goodbye present. And Jose had needed it as well, but he had just hoped against hope there would be no goodbye, only a ‘see you later’. Brock wanted to make love, and that’s what they’d done.

It’s the ”Still being in love” part, that keeps Jose up at night, when he's re-playing their one passionate night over and over in his head.

Brock’s laughter in the video gives him something else to focus on, so he can shut off his brain and sleep.

The next day, Silky shows up at his place.

”Ya better?” they ask as they walk in with containers of take-out.

”I’m fine.” It’s a half-assed lie that Silky sees through.

”What the fuck did the guy do to you? He must be a god in bed, if you’re still this fucked up two months later.”

”It isn’t about the sex, Silks. I really like him.”

”Then why you not going back and confront him about why he’s not replying? He might explain himself or he might not and then ya got your answer, too.”

”I can’t go back, Silks. It’s too damn risky. I don’t wanna destroy his life. And even if he feels the same: He made it clear he ain’t leaving his family behind and I can’t live there.” Jose knows it’s the truth, but it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. ”Maybe it’s a good thing he ghosting me. I can be angry at him and get over him faster.”

”But you really like him.”

”Yeah, I really like him. He was like… perfect for me. And, fuck, I miss him. I miss just talking to him. Miss his dumb ass face when he didn’t know what the fuck I was talking 'bout when I was rambling about movies and shit. Or when he slept in my arms and did that little sniffling sound whenever he moved, just to hold me tighter.”

”You know that that’s the shit that gets annoying once you’re in a relationship. The way he wakes you up with that annoying sound and how it’s uncomfortable when he clutches you like a koala.”

”Maybe. But we ain’t getting the chance for it to get annoying.” Jose sighs deeply, his stomach heavy.

”I’m sorry, bitch. But you gonna eat dinner with me today. No excuses!” Silky changes the topic and Jose is thankful for it.

***

The day Jose leaves the weather takes a turn for the worse and it gets unbearably hot.

Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s the lack of sleep or food, maybe it’s too much beer or too much work, but two weeks after Vanjie’s departure, Brock gets sick.

He wakes up one morning with his head pounding, his joints and muscles hurting and his chest tight. He has trouble breathing, although he’s not coughing or sneezing. He’s so exhausted he can’t keep his eyes open, even though he’s not running a fever.

He physically can’t get out of bed.

He falls asleep again and when he wakes up it’s a whole day later and his mother is checking on him.

”I’m glad you up, son. I was worried and ya father wants you to get up and help him in the stables. He can’t do it all by himself, ya know.” She says and gently checks his forehead.

”I can’t.” He replies meekly and falls asleep again. Even talking hurts.

He only leaves bed to go to the bathroom, sometimes to pee, sometimes to throw up when the pain in his heads gets too overwhelming.

He can’t really eat, but he isn’t hungry anyway. He drinks the water, tea and broth his mother brings him, before he falls asleep again.

His dreams are filled with weird scenes, some of them reality, some of them fantasy, but all including Jose in one way or another.

Sometimes he comes back and sweeps him off his feet like a knight in shining armour.

Sometimes he turns into a bird and flies away with a cry like an eagle.

Sometimes he dances with the kids, dances circles around him as they laugh, scream and insult him. His dad dances with them; he doesn’t even need a cane anymore.

After nearly two weeks Ada shows up.

”Get up, you have to get out of bed,” she tells him and pulls his blanket off. It’s too hot in the room anyway.

”I can’t.” He isn’t joking or exaggerating. He physically can’t get up. He has no energy left and his head is hurting so much, all he sees are flashes of bright light.

”Yes, you can. Here, take my hand, I’m gonna help ya sit up.” She pulls him up more than he actually sits up himself. He feels dizzy. ”Ya know when mom told me you was sick, I didn’t worry too much, cause it’s supposed to happen to ya with the way you work ya'self into the ground. But when she told me ya slept through two of dad’s screaming fits, I knew it was serious. What’s going on, little brother? You ain’t got no fever.”

”Everything hurts. I can barely open my eyes because it hurts so bad and I’m just so damn tired all the time.”

”You sick.” Brock just grunts in reply. She’s stating the obvious. ”Love sick, if you ask me.”

”I’m not asking you. And love sick doesn’t exist.”

”People have died of a broken heart.”

”You think that’s what’s happening to me?” Would he care if that’s the case? Not really.

”I don’t know, you telling’ me. You never said a word what happened when Vanjie left.” It’s the first time anyone speaks that name in weeks and it feels like a physical blow. His headache worsens. The nausea is back. Maybe he is dying of a broken heart after all? ”Did ya take my advice?”

”I went to see him after the hospital, yes,” he replies, because he knows Ada won’t leave him alone until he does.

”Did ya talk to him? What did he say? Does he feel the same?”

”There wasn’t much talking,” he admits.

”Oh.“ For a second an uncomfortable silence fills the room. "Wasn’t it… good?”

”It was amazing, the most amazing night of my life. But we both knew there’s no future, so we didn’t pretend there was.”

”Why not? A lot of people do long distance relationships. Look at Joe and me. He’s on the road all the time, that gotta count as long distance.”

”It’s not the same. I don’t have the money or the time to go see him. And when he’d be here, he’d have to hide, we couldn’t be seen together and there’d be always the fear of getting caught. This is my shitty life and I don’t wanna drag him down with me. I want him to be happy and he wouldn’t be with me.”

”You could go with him.”

”And do what? Live off his money and become a burden to him? While everything goes to hell here? Dan would lose his business and mom and dad would lose the farm. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, if that happened.”

”You not doing too well now, Brock. Lying in bed all day, sleeping all the time.”

”I just… everything hurts, Ada. If I eat I get sick, if I move I get dizzy. My head is pounding and I can hardly breathe.”

”You thought about going to a doctor?”

”And who’s gonna pay for that?” He lies back down.

”Fine, but I’m gonna be checking on ya from now on. I’m gonna be here every day and tomorrow I’m going to bring Noah, 'cause he misses you. I don’t think you’re contagious.”

"Wake me up when you get here,” he sighs and closes his eyes.

”Will do. Sleep tight little brother.” She places a kiss on his forehead and then finally there’s silence and darkness all around him once again.

***

”Ada? Ada?” Brock calls out as he enters his sister’s home. It’s suspiciously quiet in and around the house, even though it’s a Saturday and the kids should be home. The door shuts behind him and Brock feels like he can breathe again in the cooler house.

”Shush, Noah just fell asleep,” Ada comes out of the kitchen.

”Sorry,” Brock drops his voice. ”Mom said you need my help.” Again, he wants to add, but he doesn’t. Ever since Ada managed to get him out of bed a month ago, she’s been requesting his help at least every couple of days. At first it was small repairs around the house, then helping with the kids. It’s not complete bullshit, but Brock is aware that his sister is mainly calling him over to check on him and to make sure he gets out of the house and away from his parents for a bit.

”Yeah, but it’s not important. The kids are at the lake with the neighbors and the baby is asleep. You want some coffee or tea?”

”Iced tea maybe?”

”Sure,” Ada nods and leaves. When she comes back she carries two large glasses of iced tea and hands him one.

”How are you?” she asks as soon as she has sat down.

He shrugs, not sure if he wants to answer the question honestly. Because the honest answer is that he still feels like shit. He’s no longer in bed all day, but he wants to be. His body still hurts, his chest is still tight and he has no energy. Still, he gets up every day and somehow manages to function until he crashes into bed every evening. ”Same,” he finally admits.

”I wanted to talk to you about that. I know you are up, but I can see you’re not well. So I went on the internet and did some research because you refuse to see a doctor. And… Brock, I think you might need to see a therapist, like, you know, a psychologist.”

”You a doctor now?” He doesn’t like the word and he doesn’t like his sister’s amateur diagnosis.

”No, I’m not. But it all fits, even, like the way you were feeling better when Vanjie was around. You weren’t that tired anymore. You told me when you were with him you were able to sleep. And I think you should go and see someone, get some help. You need professional help.”

”Ada, I appreciate it that you worry about me, but can you tell me where I’d find a therapist around here in a two hour radius? And who’d pay for it? Who’d take over my work while I drive back and forth? Who’d pay for the gas?”

”I don’t know. But you need to talk to someone. Every day I’m scared that the next you’re not gonna be here anymore.”

”I’m not leaving. Where’d I go?”

”I’m not talking about you leaving. I’m talking about you harming yourself. I read that online, that a lot of gay people kill themselves because they’re unhappy and aren’t accepted. Or because they struggle with their sexuality. They get depressed.”

”I’m not struggling with that. I’m gay. I can’t live it and I have to stay in the closet around here, but that doesn’t change the fact. I’ve come to accept it.”

”Is that why you not at church anymore?”

”Maybe. I’m just so sick of being told all the time how horrible gays are and how we’ll burn in hell and how we should be pushed out of the community, like we’re criminals.” Brock sighs. ”But I’m also just tired. When mom and dad are at church, at least they can’t be on my case for sleeping during the day.”

”Dad won’t buy the ‘I’m sick’ excuse much longer. And mom is running out of excuses why you not at church.”

”I don’t care what he buys or not. He should just leave me alone. I don’t even care anymore, about none of it.”

”I know that’s not true, Brock. I know you still care, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.”

”I really don’t. I’m too tired to care about anything to be honest.” Brock insists. "Or feel anything other than the constant pain in my head and joints.” It’s true. Most of the time he’s just numb now. It’s a feeling he prefers to the constant heartache of the weeks before. And when he feels something it’s usually annoyance or anger. He’s never been an angry person, but these days, he definitely has a very short fuse. Even his father doesn’t fuck with him anymore since he nearly hit him one night, when he wouldn’t let him sleep.

”How about you talk to Jason? He must understand what you’re going through.”

Brock shakes his head. ”I don’t really know him that well. And if people see me hanging out with him, the gossip will start that I’m suddenly a friend of the faggots and when they’ll turn me. They can go fuck themselves when it comes to me, but what about the pressure on you? Or the kids? I don’t want you to have to go through that.”

”Fine. Then please, talk to me. I’m worried sick about you.” Ada has tears in her eyes when he looks at her.

”I’m gonna be fine. It might take a while, but I’ll get there.” He promises and pulls her in his arms. He’s not sure he believes his own words, but what else is he supposed to say?

”Have you talked to Vanjie?” she asks when she breaks the hug.

”No.” The name alone is enough to make him want to hide in bed again.

”Why not?”

”What good would it do to drag this out longer? The quicker I get over him the better. And the same goes for him.”

”I still think it’s a mistake you let him go.” Ada points out, but Brock already knows her opinion.

”I know,” he simply replies and leans back agains the sofa, his legs suddenly feeling so heavy he can barely move them. ”But I also know that he’s better off without me and my fucked up life.”

***

Brock is stacking the shelves during his mother’s lunch break, when a voice from behind makes him freeze.

”Hey Brock.”

”Hey,” he turns around and finds Jason in the store, holding milk and eggs.

”Can I pay?” He asks when Brock just remains quiet.

”Sure.”

”How’s Ada doing? I’m surprised she’s not back at the store yet.”

”The baby, Noah, he’s not sleeping well and keeps screaming day and night. Some digestion stuff babies get.”

”Sounds like the three month colic.” Jason hands over some bills. ”But shouldn’t be too much longer then. He’s nearly three months, right?”

”Yeah, tomorrow.” Brock nods. ”You know stuff about babies?”

”My boyfriend’s sister has two kids and we watch them sometimes when I’m there. I think, one day, ya know, we gonna have some kids of our own. We just gotta save some money first.”

”You can do that?” Brock wrinkles his forehead.

”Sure. I mean, none of us can carry them, of course,” Jason laughs. ”But we can adopt or use surrogacy, if we have enough money. We’ll see. I mean, we talked about it and we agreed we want kids, we just haven’t really talked about the details.”

”You gonna get married, too?”

”Maybe, maybe not. Because of the shit I see and hear around here I don’t really believe in marriage, but Chris is a romantic. He wants a big white wedding.”

Brock nods, but he can’t picture it. What would a gay wedding look like? Two guys in suits? Which minister would do the ceremony? Or wouldn’t it be at church? ”Here.” He quickly bags the items Jason just bought.

Jason looks around the store before he speaks. ”I know it isn’t my place and all, but… you look like hell. I’ve noticed that you kinda not ok since Vanj’ left. If you need to talk….”

”Did Ada sent you?” Brock gets angry.

”Ada knows?” Jason’t eyes widen and Brock understands that Ada didn’t send him. The surprise is genuine.

”Yeah, she knows. She told me the day she had Noah that she knows. She’s not gonna say anything to anyone though. I hope neither do you.”

”Of course not!”

”Good.”

”But Brock, still…. If you want to talk, need to talk, whatever,” he grabs a pen from the register and scribbles something down. ”Here’s my number. Call me if you don’t wanna be seen with me. You don’t have to, but… I’m a good listener, ok?”

”Ok.” He nods, takes the number and quickly puts it in his pocket. ”Hey Jason!” he calls out when the other man is nearly by the door.

”Mmh?”

”I’m sorry about the way you’re being treated… about the way I treated you.”

”You never did anything to me.” Jason looks surprised.

”Maybe. But I didn’t stick up for you either… I guess, now you know why.” Brock takes a deep breath before he can continue. ”But I should have. I’m not ashamed to be seen with you. Just… give me some time to… feel better and then maybe we can… grab a beer or something?”

”We can always grab a beer a town or two over. Even four, if that’s what you need. The offer stands.”

”Thank you,” Brock nods. The offer doesn’t make him feel any better, but he appreciates it anyway.

”Bye, man. Keep your head above the water, k?” Jason smiles and then leaves, just as Brock’s mother comes back.

”What did he want?” she asks once Jason is gone. She sounds like she’s talking about vermin.

”Eggs and milk, or do you have a problem with that?” he snaps at her, picks up the next box of soda and slams it on the shelf.

***

”You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail. And there I find You in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand. And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine…” Rachel sings loudly as she taps away on her phone.

”You think she’s old enough to a have a cellphone?” Brock asks his sister as he watches his niece, doing whatever.

”She’s old enough to watch her brothers and sisters, cook dinner and do the laundry. She’s a responsible girl and she can have a cellphone if she wants. We talked about what apps she can have and what games she can play. I also know what she’s posting on tiktok or insta and who she’s talking to on tumblr.”

”On what?” Brock has no idea what his sister is talking about.

”You’re getting old, little brother. There’s more you can do with a phone than text and call, ya know?” Ada laughs at him. ”Rachel? Can you come over and show your old uncle what tiktok and Instagram are?”

”You don’t know?” Rachel’s eyes are wide and her mouth hangs comically wide open, before she grabs her phone and rushes over to where Brock sits on the sofa.

”No, I don’t. I only know Tic Tacs,” he says and Rachel snorts wit laughter.

”You’re so dumb,” she giggles and taps something on the screen. ”See, this is tiktok. You can like choose some music or like a scene from a movie or something and then you do some moves, dance or act, or move your mouth or something.”

”Why?” Brock watches the video of Rachel, where she’s lip syncing to something that sounds like a movie scene.

”‘Cause it’s fun.” You wanna do one with me?”

”Uh, no.” Brock shakes his head.

”Please, uncle Brock! Pleeeease! Mommy sometimes does too!”

”You do?” He looks to his sister, who is currently breastfeeding the baby.

”It’s fun,” she laughs.

”Fine, what’d ya got?” he asks his niece and after a couple of tracks, they finally find one where Brock pretends to sneeze first and then Rachel follows before bursting in some kind of song. He whole thing makes no sense to Brock, but Rachel is having fun, giggling away as she shoots the video with him, chooses a filter and then uploads the madness.

”And see, this is instagram,” she lets him know and opens another app.

”I’m not sneezing again,”Brock warns her, and Rachel giggles again.

”You upload pics and like videos and stories and stuff.” She actually rolls her eyes at him. ”Oh look, Vanjie has uploaded a new video,” she says and before it fully registers with Brock what Rachel said, a clip of starts playing.

Jose starts the video, his face so close to the camera you can see the slight dust of freckles on his nose. Music is blaring in the background and then he starts dancing. Brock is sure whatever he does is good, but he’s not really paying attention to the dance moves. He takes in Jose’s outfit, the loose sweats and T-shirt. The backwards baseball hat on his head. The serious expression on his face. How his hair is shaved a different way and slightly bleached, from what he can see.

”Vanjie has instagram?” Ada asks once the short clip is over.

”Yeah. Usually he posts videos of his new moves and choreos and stuff. But he also has a pic with uncle Brock’s hat. He posted it yesterday,” Rachel reports and a second later there’s a picture on the screen, that Brock knows too well. Because he took it. It’s the one where Jose is wearing his old straw hat, smiling happily into the camera, taken back when they were still friends and Brock’s life had been a bit easier for a little while. It’s only been a bit over three months, but to Brock it feels like a lifetime ago.

As he looks at the picture he’s back in the moment, he can hear Jose’s laughter, feel the wind on his skin and smell Jose’s cologne. He’s happy again for that second.

”Steady as a preacher, free as a weed. Couldn’t wait to get goin’ but wasn’t quite ready to leave. So innocent, pure and sweet, American honey,” Ada reads the caption out loud. ”That’s a song, right?” she asks her daughter while Brock still stares at the screen.

”Yup, but you can’t dance to it and it’s not from church,” Rachel replies, citing the rules she has for the music she’s allowed to listen to, not realising that her knowing the song basically gives her away. Then she shuts off the screen and Jose is once more gone from Brock’s life. The wound where his heart used to be, ripped open again.

He needs to get instagram, Brock decides, because he needs to have that picture; needs it like the air he breathes.

”Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed and You won’t start now! So I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine,” Rachel starts singing again and Ada gives his shoulder a squeeze as Brock gets lost in the memories and feelings for the mn he’s just seen in the picture he’s just seen.

TBC

Notes: The lyrics in this chapter are taken from the songs “American Honey” by Lady Antebellum and “Oceans” by Hillsong United.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #m/m au #slow burn #romance #smut #angst #hot as hell and no ac #blackhighheels #tw religion #tw internalized homophobia

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imhereforthetryus · 5 years

Text

Love is Hate and there no other way

(Anti Harringroves pls do not intereact with thid fanfiction your welcome to talk about anything else but this fic yes dont worry about the title i just do dEeP 💩 )

Tags: @thelonious-jagger-smitten @i-am-church-the-cat it glitching and so u might have to use the link

Tw: for abuse and panic attacks i apologize deeply i dont know how to do the read more thing im so sorry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19911385

I be like we self projecting 👋🤦🏼‍♀️😂 noises

(Why get therapy when u can get bad coping methods 😎)

Words:7,932

Billy's eyes were blue kind of like his mother's blue but not really sure he had the paleness blue of his mothers but her eyes were just different he took a lot after his mother, the same not same eyes and bright blonde curls that seemed to grow a foot a month.

He figured that why Neil hated him so much Neil and his mom relationship was weird, in a way not just the whole abuse thing but that Billy could never really tell who was the victim and who was the aggressor.

Sure sometimes it was obvious when Neil was towering over his mother as she stood on the floor tired and hurt but then there were times when both were yelling at each other and trading insults, or his mom eyes pale and blue filled with rage would hit a plate against Neil, clawing at him and screaming truth be told at first it was amusing but he found himself laughing less and more just watching the scene unfold.

“My little Isla...Don’t cry everything is fine...let me tell you an old story of mine...about the necklace” then she would start weaving tales endlessly he would laugh and she would smile she was always a great storyteller she always wanted to be an actor it was kind of ironic how she was acting all the time … acting like everything fine “Is my bunny happy” he would not and hug her and everything would be fine but it wasn’t and maybe it would never be.

Like how if he had just been able to keep his mouth shut about the new boy at school. Who played with Billy the only child to not shun him, and who drew him a picture and how cute he looked and how he was going to marry him one day his dad anger wouldn’t have increased tenfold forever. His mom wouldn’t have left angry at Neil unacceptable of him but then if he hadn’t he wouldn’t have had his mother there to kiss his bruise stinging from Neil fist and the tears from the word faggot he didnt know what it meant but he knew it wasnt good, but she was there she was awalys there to tell him there was “nothing wrong with loving a boy that love is just loving and wherever and whoever you find it with loves you back and that the only thing that matters Isla”

He missed being a child but was he ever a child he was grown up before he knew it. He forced himself to stop thinking about everything focus on something else,...your eyes he had just noticed that his eyes well they were always blue but their not really blue if that made sense they sort of changed blues but to his drunk mind taking dangerous trips fueled by chugged countless cheap beers at Tommy H. Party it didn’t matter.

If he was drunk or sober one thing that stayed the same was he fucking hated this day...hated how his mother had left him and how she loved him she awalys used to say how much she loved him while hugging him gently like it would make Neils slaps , his red cheeks and tears disappear, as if her overwhelming love bundled with hugs and kisses would make up for it, but all it did was make Billy confused if she could love him so easily why couldnt his dad and then she came back.

Like as if she couldn't bother leaving him alone without the emotional damage of coming back she had only done it a few days at a time after years of hiding away with the words or letters getting fewer but then she had ghosted him a year later but he still remembered that day.

He remembered being thirteen his favourite toy bunny the one his mother had when she was a child and the one he spelt with to protect him from the monsters under the bed when she couldn’t sleep with him that beautiful bunny disposed and ripped to shreds it white fur blood-splattered and it head gone all because “he was too old for them” sitting on the floor of his bedroom just praying every night for his mom to come back and take him with her, and trying to lock himself in and saying his prayer faster as if to make her appear right there and then...and she did eventually on the eve of his fourteenth birthday there she was in the flesh, sneaking through the tiny window and grabbing Billy.

She shushed his protest and laughed at him but she was happy so he was happy and very confused But isn't that the life of a child, to be one without power or choice, always going with the change in the wind and praying for a safe harbor? .Wasn't that always his life going with the wind and following the “adults” he was sure they never grew up his mom was still a believer in hope even in despair while that was surely a good thing for her. it wasn't for Billy nothing was ever good for him. He was a ping pong to his parents, a useless fix it child.

They demanded him to pick a side many times even when there was no fight to be won it was a never-ending war to win his love they bad-mouthed each other constantly but he just stood there trying not to intervene in their war of hate, but he had too sometimes when he didn't want to or else he would be the target they desired to know who he loved more, but in truth there is no such distinction. They asked and should the “right” answer not arrive there is anger, swift and brutal in the form of his mom shunning him and his dad hitting him.

So even when his mom came it wasn't for him but just to win another point to piss off Neil, but he was used to the bribes. it wasn't too bad though he could get used to the perks he decided he would make the best of it as his mom carried him on her slim shoulders, he would admire the stars from above to him she stood like a giant.

Or maybe that the way he envisioned her he couldn't help exaggerate her tiny height even when he was boarding on it. he held on close afraid she disappear again just to let him calm his nerves she let him touch her hair curly, long and blonde a shining clone of his and play with her necklace. She had told him the story about how her grandmother had made the necklace from the last of their metal as a birthday gift many times usually with Neil letting a murmur of disapproval fall from his lips but this time it felt different maybe even magical. As they were walking along the boardwalk his socks light against the board, as his mom flowered him with Ice-cream galore. It was his favorite Strawberry and five scoops high he smiled happily letting the dark light shine across his face and the pools of ice cream melt onto his clothes.

They had come across an abandoned climbing place, an adventure playground of sorts, it was dark and quiet but his mom said it was okay and encouraged him to climb the fence.

She had done it too her heels landing against the sand she had laughed so he did, running up against the wooden structure which reeked of paint but she was giddy like a child taking him everywhere. At some point they ran onto the cold wet damp grass in the rain barefoot, her colorful dresses always finding a way to light up in the darkest nights, the light green still stood out even amongst the grass and as they laid there. His mom rubbing his hair and pointing at all the stars and telling him about it like a well of infinite knowledge.

“You see William that star right there” he had nodded hesitantly she rarely called him William, only when she wanted his attention, she usually called him Isla or Bunny and while he protested those pet names as long as he had been living she had just laughed and just pulled him closer he never thought he miss those names so fucking much. before you get the wrong idea she wasn’t dead but it was like that she was a ghost now refusing to acknowledge Billy but this time there were no secret trips to wherever, maybe Billy just outgrew them or his mom outgrew him he wasn't sure which possibility was worse.

As his bruised muscles cracking with pain,up against his hard mattress nothing like a beating and shitty necessities not like Neil gave a damn to his comfort after all, he give him a semi comfortable bed because “cost” but Billy knew that was bullshit.

Neil would do anything to see Billy suffer it was practically his favourite hobby when he wasn’t gutting the insides of fish but it was practically the same Neil would rail in the fish with bait or in Billy cases kind words and flashy gifts. Then he would wait a bit till the fish took the bait like Billy would let his guard down a tiny bit.Then go in for the kill using his fishing pole and fist to kill the fish slowly and painfully like he would to Billy and he knew for a fact that not only were these mattress so stiff and hard. They cost way more for whatever reason rich people like hard mattresses. but it could be worse his dad could have not given him a room at all yeah it could be worse it was something Billy always thought about him finally getting away from Neil not by his own choice but by cps he tried it before but Neil was so charming and Billy wasn’t ten and a half anymore, his mom wasn't there to challenge Neil and to protect him.

He couldn't risk a visit now so it would never happen not by any fault of his own at least he knew Neil could predict most of his movements.

He heard the horror stories he wasn’t going to subject himself to any more shit and while his dad was shit he was still legally required to provide for him otherwise how else would he use that line in his next argument, to justify his parenting methods and to complain about how hard it was raising a useless piece of shit like Billy and to think of it his father sure loved to complain about useless shit.

But he couldn’t complain he never could without a slap against his cheeks or his dad's famous speech scientifically designed to make anyone who hears it feel like shit which Billy already was, but hey the speech is such a great deal for shitty dads everywhere who wouldn’t love to mentally toture their child when their fist became too bruised to hit them.

And in all honesty Billy loathed that speech more than he loathed himself, more than he loathed his dads fist, more than he loathed girls how he hated to fuck them and go out with them and even more than he loathed Harrington.

Stupidly perfect Harrington who made Billy heart skip and leap, who made Billy blush at an insult who made Billy nervous and not just out of fear, he made Billy scared way too scared.

He could not be with Harrington even if he wasn't straight which he couldn't be because almost all the gays in California used Farrah Fawcett Hairspray it how they found each other.

Not like Billy ever went as far like that even then he was too much of a coward, his pale blue eyes glanced at the alarm finally calm for once because this was his favourite part of the day, when he could just lay in bed and glanced up at the ugly peach ceiling letting his thoughts flowed like a river stream quiet yet loud.

He pulled the wool cover closer shivering in his empty room another form of sadstic toture if Neil wasn’t beating the shit out of him he was fucking up Billys air and heat supply. He never knew when he would be hot or cold plus it was just another way for Neil to keep him on his fucking toes.

Like he didnt do that every single fucking day, with Neil mood deciding if Billy could only get away with a slap and a walk outside in the snow and how he hated the cold, he wasnt used to it . Ofcourse, he was a California Baby he could stand hot weather but not cold especially when he only had one blanket to protect himself. Because everything belonged to Neil if he pissed Neil off too much his belongings would be gone because they were never his , Neil spiteful face popped up and he imagined another cruel smile as he “grounded” Billy.

“You need to learn a lesson about Respect and Responsibility” he saw his dad, felt him “punishing” Billy, he felt his tears and struggled to get out of this hellish nightmare, his breath heavy, breathe breathe don't be such a pussy his panic attack was stopped by a knock on his door he opened the door angrily.

“What the fuck do you want M-..” his father stared at him stone cold and hard like he awalys was calculating watching Billy squirm.

“Is this how you talk to your sister” he grabbed Billy chin and squeezed it tight.

“No sir” Billy tried to make himself shorter, trying to disappear into the wall but it never worked, no matter how he wished it did but his father was in a good mood suprisngly so he let Billy off with a slap and a spilt lip, and Billy could thank him right then and there for not beating the shit out of him for being so rude and disrespectful, but the stare of disappointment and the glare was more painful than the backhand.

Billy forced himself to go downstairs dreading every step to eat with his “family” as far as Billy was conserend his mom was his only family but all his stubbornness did was put Neil in a bad mood.

“You’re Mother is gone Billy suck it up” he would say chewing his steak and despite Billy hating eating breakfast with Susan and Neil , being under his dad microscope was irritating and annoying but he knew if he didn't eat all his food, thank Susan, and be quiet and not exist then there wouldn’t be any food to digest, because Neil had done it before It was either eat everything Susan made no matter how much it taste like horseshit or not eat at all or even worse eat the way Neil wanted him too and while Billy personally thought both options were cruel and unusual toture and neither qualified as the best option but he still needed food to survive so he ate it all.

Every last spoonful in fear for Neil trailing eyes on him, his back arching aganist the chair, eating softly and trying not to throw up watching Max shoveling burned eggs and bacon into her mouth, his mom food was way better.

He glared at Susan subtly as he thanked her how he wanted to go off on her but he wasn't in the mood to skip school today and be bruised. so instead he took his anger out on Max he yelled at her to get up, which resulted in her eating her scrambled eggs slower then finally getting up and taking forever to get ready, grabbed Max by the elbow when she wasn't moving fast enough. he hated running into Neil in the morning who was less of a morning person than Billy and he grabbed her hard enough to bruise but not enough to get shit from Neil.

He ignored her screaming at him to the point where she was being a cocky little shit, and had the nerve to put her disgusting mud covered red shoes on his dashboard, with a little grin that stupid brat and when he told her to knock it off she flipped him off. so he drove like a manic letting his hands off the steering and speeding up just to see the fear in her eyes and dropped her off to the stares of the middle schoolers.

He drove back even faster it was the only way plus he couldn't miss getting ready for his favorite class of the day aka Bothering Steve for 40 minutes, he stood against his Camero letting cigarette smoke fill the air, then he went inside shoving a couple of kids who dared to look at Billy in anyway no one was that stupid to do it on purpose but still he had to install fear or he would be scared.

He wasn't always mean he used to be kind but kindness never got him anything but a broken heart and fag screamed at his face by older boys, a shove to the ground and the laughter of his classmates it never gave him anything but humiliation.

So He hid behind a charming carefree smile and reinvented himself, learning to keep his feelings inside to stop thinking about boys that way. The hurt lodged in that sweet heart like a slow acting poison and before long he became a “problem child,” destined for a life behind bars. He hated his “parents,” hated the system, hated the government and the whole damn world he had to or he would hate himself.

The hate It burst forth in his speech, his actions, his attitude. He got close to people just to hurt them, power at last. Nothing pleased him more than to walk away from a new lover ripping their valentines while they whimpered and ran, To shove a kid down and make him cry to spit the word fag in the kids fave.. To Billy people were “bad, dangerous, and they deserved what they got." Because he deserved what he had gotten.

Steve loathed first period, not only because it's English Class but Billy who made it his personal goal to harass Steve anytime he could which meant every class they shared together. Because Billy obviously didn't think his crude and sexual teasing,his fists and trips down the hallway was enough time to toture Harrington and fortunately for Steve.

There were only four classes but that meant Billy had to make an impression so Steve sighed as Billy came in late what a surprise , came up to him, knocking his books down against the floor, Mrs.Ava looked like she was going to say something but the look Billy gave her shut her up Steve reisted a snort great everyone was intimidated by Billy.

As the minutes of the lesson passed, the ceaseless buzzing of the classroom grew quieter watching them it was no secret that Billy and Steve weren’t pals but a look of shock always seemed to come on their face watching their interactions a quiet glance from Billy made the chatter started up again and they pretended to be talking about something else and looked away.

“Hey Prettyboy” Billy licked his lips at him, slamming into the seat next to Steve, Billy smiled at him.

Steve rolled his eyes trailing the pencil in between his fingers, he was way too tired to deal with Billy “Don't you have someone else to bother” .

Billy pouted giving him a small smirk he even makes puppy eyes look evil Steve sighed.

“But you’re my favourite Stevie” Steve kicked Billy from under the table.

“Fuck off” Billy just laughed and reisted the urge to whimper why was he being so weak it was just a little cut there Billy felt himself ponder looking at Steve who was trying very hard not to look at Billy and to focus on the lesson which Billy should be doing to, but Steve and his perfect lips and how much Billy wanted to kiss them, his soft hair i wonder what it would feel like oh how he wanted to kiss Steve, shove him against a wall, fuck him and punch him all at the same time why do you have to be so damn amazing Harrington.

“Ouch you really hurt my feelings Harrington..I think i just shed a tear” Billy smiled oh how he loved first period plus steve was so cute when he was annoyed FAG his mind screamed he reisted the urge to punch himself, Steve gave Billy a small smirk.

“Bullshit you dont have feelings” Billy chuckled slowly unbutoing his top not like it was open anyways but cmon if he didnt give the cows here a show people might think he a fag which he is , he winked to Steve.

“You’re right about that Pretty Boy” Steve glared and turned towards the window suddenly interested in the blue sky and clouds that dotted the sky. The bell rang finally freedom Steve thought he was one comment away from shoving his pencil up Billy ass.

why does he have to be such an asshole even worse a cute one and yeah it was pretty cliche of him to have a crush on his bully. but like can you blame him Billy was hot and straight his mind screamed at him it was too risky plus he didnt think he could handle Billy disgust more than his fists but Billy was so hot and an asshole but hes a hot one.

Steve groaned in frustration stupid horny brain but this felt weird and different he didnt like boys right i mean, and if he was gay which he wasn’t wasnt he liked nancy for a long time goodness sake then couldn’t he atleast have a crush on a boy who isnt an asshole, but what was he, after all if you weren’t straight then you were gay but he liked both he couldn’t possibly be gay and straight at the same time, there had to be a word and Steve had to investigate it for his sake so on he went after Mrs. Ava class to the library.

Steve ducked from Nancy and Jonathan he felt bad about missing lunch but if they even knew where he was going they would ask questions he wasn't ready to answer yet when he saw them leave he sprinted towards his car driving to the town library which was well not im Hawkins but the next town over he couldn’t bare to see anyone he knew. He opened the doors to the library entering he was hit with a cloud of dust, and started to look around.

Row after row of neatly lined up books with their spines facing outward, colour coded with dots, fiction section arranged in alphabetical order, young adults section, comfortable chairs, tables for quiet study, muffled stillness.

He took a breath walking up to the resident sub librarian Mrs. Mervil the hawk who stood about 5’4 her lip always tight and pressed as if she was simply always waiting for disappointment as if she never bothered to smile, her eyebrows and eyes were thin and like her whole self her clothes reflected that always dread and uncolorful, so professional and tight. It made Steve parents outfits look casual and who despite Steve best try hated him for whatever reason, maybe it was the blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes those combinations always seemed to despise Steve or just everyone but mostly Steve.

He gave her a false smile “Hi Mrs.Mervil” she turned towards him. her eyes cold and bored she took off her silver rimmed glasses for a young woman she sure acted old she put down whatever book she was reading he examined it, she slammed it before he could see the title but it was a space book for sure.

“What is it Steven” he sighed and gave her a smile he hoped his face wasn't giving away anything.

“Mr.Harrington if you’re just going to stand there and go dont waste my time” he bit his lip and shoved his hands deeper in his cardigan. He couldn’t do this she already hated him she could tell everyone, or even worse whatever worse was. But he needed to know this more than he needed to breathe, he could wait but he wasn't willing to wait.

“I need to find a book...to tell me about my sexuality” at that her face and demeanor softened a bit like she was remancissing she gave him a small smile and lead him towards the shelf her heels dragging along the whole way.

“Alright come along Steven I don't have all day” he sighed in relief and walked up with her, he tried to make conversation as she rustled through the books.

#harringrove #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove #harringrove fanfic #steve harrington

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seungminty · 6 years

Text

For granted //Jisung

words: 2.1k

genre: a n g s t

It’s 1am and I’m trash for angst and Jisung, enjoy.

-mads <3

part 2

Friday, 11:54pm

I sighed when I saw the time as I checked my phone yet again. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I mindlessly clicked on another episode of Brooklyn 99, snuggling deeper into my blanket in an attempt to distract myself from the tears that were slowly gathering at the corners of my eyes. Jisung had said he would facetime me after rehearsals, but after 4 hours of radio silence, I was quickly losing hope.

Not like I should be surprised.

This had become a regular occurrence in our relationship throughout the past few months; I’d plan dates, he’d cancel them. We’d hang out, he’d work the whole time. We’d argue, he’d come back a few days later, full of flowers and apologies, and I’d fall for him all over again.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I knew that dating an idol would bring challenges, especially since Stray Kids were so well-known, as well as being self-producing. And for a while, we actually made it work. Yeah, Jisung worked most of the time, but I was also busy with college and my waitressing job. However, we always found time for each other, even if it was just Jisung popping into the cafe to give me lunch, or a pizza night with the boys.

So yeah, I knew it would be hard, just not... not this hard.

It wasn't like he’d gotten busier, he was always busy, so was I, but he just didn't make the effort anymore. Every time he cancelled on me to hang with the boys or ignored my good morning texts, my heart broke just a little bit more. We’d argue about his newfound attitude often, but it seemed to tear me apart far more than it did him. Before I could fully explain the extent of the loneliness I felt inside, he would cut me off and accuse me of being too clingy, with many insults thrown in too. He would later blame his foul words on stress, but I had heard that excuse so many times I didn't know what to believe anymore. One thing was certain, though, Jisung had changed. We had changed. I wasn't a priority anymore, and it was destroying me.

There had always been a small part of me that still believed this was just a phase, that we could go back to the old us. But I soon realized that that was impossible. I knew that Jisung still loved me, and I knew that he still had a heart of gold, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me why he didn't want to invest time in us anymore.

I guess we're just on different paths now.

I was suddenly pulled from my depressing train of thought by my phone. Jisung’s name on my phone screen had become such a rare sight that I stared at my lock screen for several seconds before actually reading the text.

Sorry went to the studio after practice and lost track of time.

The studio. That damn studio.

It was once a place filled up with happy memories, memories of Jisung giddily showing me a hook he’d finally perfected, or lyrics that he’d say I inspired him to write, which always caused both our cheeks to tint pink.

But now, it was the place my boyfriend chose over me, time and time again. I always admired his passion for music, and the last thing I wanted was to be one of those annoying girlfriends who want their boyfriend to only ever spend time with her, but was it really so bad that I wanted my boyfriend to make me feel important every once in a while?

These were the thoughts circulating in my head as I quickly pulled on my shoes and walked out the door towards the studio. By this point, I was so hurt and confused, I didn't have the faintest idea of what I was going to say to Jisung, I just knew that I had to see him. I had to make the pain stop.

I arrived at the studio sooner than I had expected, and a quick glance at the clock above the desk in the darkened reception area revealed that it was a little past 1am.

Wow, what a fun way to be spending your Friday night, y/n.

I sighed as I stood outside his studio door, doing my best to prepare myself for what was to come, whatever the hell that was.

Eventually, I plucked up the courage to open the door, and it creaked open agonisingly slowly to reveal a mop of tangled blonde hair, slumped at a mixing board. I walked up to him, thinking he was asleep, and was about to wake him up when he suddenly spun around towards me, eyes wide and mouth agape, clearly startled by my visit.

“Hey” he stated, his voice deep with exhaustion.

“Oh, hey” I managed to breathe out, my mouth had become dry the moment I walked in, like my subconscious knew that something big was going to go down tonight.

We remained in an awkward silence for a while, none of us knowing how to react to this new dynamic. Life was Jisung was never quiet, ever.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly.

I looked him properly in the eyes for the first time that night, and I couldn't hide the puzzled expression on my face.

“Oh...uh, what for? It was just a facetime call, no biggie.”

No biggie? Really? Not like you wallowed in your sadness while finishing off a whole damn tub of ice cream, y/n.

Jisung looked even more shocked than me now, shaking his head and laughing lightly before speaking again.

“Oh, ok that’s fine then. Thought I missed a date or something like that. So how come you’re here then, shouldn’t you be asleep?”.

Even though I had played it off as nothing earlier, I still felt my heart sink at his statement. There was a time when Jisung would've apologised a hundred times over for forgetting to text me goodnight, now he’s so distant he doesn’t even really know what he’s apologising for.

“I, I uh, I just wanted to see you, and I don’t know, have a chat about stuff?” My words came out more like a question, and I cringed at how awkward it sounded. Jisung sighed, running his hands down his face.

“I guess, but I’ve still got this guide track to finish and its getting late, maybe some other time yeah?” He said, already turning back round in his chair.

“No, Jisung, I need to talk, and you need to listen to me,” I stated, my voice so loud that it startled both of us.

“Right... Y-yeah sure y/n, um... what’s up?” He gulped, wide-eyed and still taken aback by my tone. I was never really one to raise my voice, but I was desperate now, trying to stitch up our fractured love before it disappeared forever.

But then, I realised. I don't think there’s any love left to fix.

I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to steel my nerves before saying the words I vowed I never would.

“Ji, this isn’t working. We... we aren’t working anymore.”

Those words hung Over the silent room like a thick black veil, suffocating me, and as I hesitantly looked at Jisung, it seemed like they were suffocating him too. He was frozen, staring at the ground in shock, before jerking his head up to search my face with panicked eyes as his hands began to shake.

“I-I... no, you can’t... we’re not, it’s fine-” He spluttered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. I watched with pained eyes as the man I loved unravelled before me, and it was all my fault.

His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, and when it became clear that he wasn’t going to actually say anything, I began to speak, doing my best not to burst into tears.

“Things are just different now. You’re always so busy and that’s great, I'm so so proud of you, but there just isn't enough room for me in your life anymore. We never hang out, and when we do we just argue. And I'm sorry, but I just can't take it anymore, I can't take anymore cancelled dates or ignored messages, because it's destroying me, Jisung. And yes, maybe I am just weak and clingy, but I've got to put myself first for once because god-fucking-damn it Jisung, I've been so sad for so fucking long, and my own boyfriend has no idea!” By the end of my speech, I was nearly screaming, and I quickly realised that the dampness on my cheeks was from the many tears that were now uncontrollably cascading down my face.

Now, the only sounds in the room were my slight panting and the occasional sniffle. Jisung remained unblinking, still frozen in the same position. It wasn't until I shook my head and turned towards the door that he reached forward and grabbed my arm.

“No!” he shouted, panic clear in his voice. I looked at him, he too, had tears streaming down now, the sight making what was left of my poor heart shatter.

“No... you can’t leave, I’m sorry ok? Really sorry. I-I took you for granted. You were always by my side so I guess I thought you’d stay there forever, because I honestly can’t imagine my world without you in it y/n, standing right next to me. I know I’m a shit boyfriend, and hearing how hurt you are because... because of me, kills me more than you’ll ever know. Honestly, this comeback had me feeling stressed out and down I didn't know what to do, but now I realise, that the only thing that could've made me feel happy again.. was you. Of course it was you. You are my heaven y/n, and I swear I’ll never desert you again. I’m such a fucking idiot, I was so sad that I pushed you away, even though you're the only one who can make me happy.” He laughed bitterly, but his expression quickly reverted to fear as he saw me shaking my head, tears still endlessly falling.

“I’m sorry Jisung... but I just can’t fall for your apologies again. My heart can’t take any more of this, but I'm sure you'll find a-a nice girl... maybe an idol, someone who’s pretty and isn't so weak that they fall apart like me.” I began to walk away again, determined not to turn back again, in fear that I’d break down even further.

Behind me, Jisung was really panicking now. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. He knew hed been a shitty boyfriend. But he thought that soon he’d feel less stressed and everything would go back to normal. They were Jisung and y/n, they were madly in love and everyone knew it, they couldn’t just break up like this. It was only when I had reached for the door handle did he react.

“Angel, please.”

I hesitated at those words.

Angel. Even thinking of his pet name for me made me want to break down. It reminded me of happier times, when we were so in love we felt we were invincible, a feeling that was all but a distant memory now.

Against my better judgment, I turned round to see Jisung slumped on the floor on his knees, head bowed and body shaking with sobs.

I knew what I had to do. I knew what was best, for both of us.

“I love you Jisung, and know that I’ll always be cheering you on, always.”

I took one last look at the boy who held my heart so tightly that he’d crushed it, before moving to the door, shutting it quietly behind me.

FIN.

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seafoamsweetheart-blog · 6 years

Text

[ Her Merciful Ascendance [HMA] began trolling His Imperial Arbitration [HIA] ]

HMA: S)(ello fincess. 3B) HMA: Did you miss me?

HIA: 'ey its the princess HIA: what's up? HIA: may6e? wh9's askin'

HMA: It's a fincess eelrig)(t. HMA: Noffin muc)(. Just enjoying a day wit)( my clade. HMA: I saw your tidal and t)(oug)(t 'T)(is bass)(ole )(asn't )(eard from me in a w)(ale.' HMA: Moby I s)(oald grace )(im wit)( my cute quirk.

HIA: well c9nsid'a me graced (;B HIA: sh9cker a cut fin like y9u w9uld 6e talkin ta me again s9 s99n HIA: what's the 9ccassi9n sweetheart wantin' a r9und 2?

HMA: )(e)(e. It seams you can't reefsist me, can you? HMA: Muc)( to your displeasure no, I'm afraid I can't take you up on your 'generous' offer. HMA: I acs)(oally wanted to sea )(ow you were doing. 38P HMA: Or is t)(at conc)(sidered taboo for you wit)( your fuckbuoy lifestyle. 38P

HIA: HEY HEY AIN'T N969DY HEA LIVIN N9 FUCK6U9Y LIFESTYLE HIA: It's called 6ein' an emper9r that can d9 what he want HIA: anyways this m9nth I get extra cra66y a shame ya can't c9me 9ver HIA: Y9u wantin' t9 kn9w h9w I 6e is less 6elieva6le than c9ld fire

HMA: Someone got all D-EF-ENSIV-E so suddenly. HMA: You must )(ave woken up on t)(e wrong seaside of t)(e absurd )(uman bed. HMA: )(e)(e. HMA: Once a fuckbuoy alwaves a fuckbuoy. HMA: -Efin if you )(ave a fancy little tiara on t)(at cute )(ead of yours. HMA: 38*

HIA: hey at least I can admit I like fuckin ar9und unlike y9u princess d8B HIA: aint en9ugh m9ney in the w9rld that'd make me 6elieve half the facade y9u 6e fr9ntin all the time. HIA: speakin' 9f ann9yin' 6itches have ya heard fr9m Cal? HIA: I ain't hear fr9m that lil shit in a while I'm w9rryin 9ver here.

HMA: I don't pike fucking around, acs)(oally. HMA: Conc)(sider yours)(ellf a lucky case to efin be touc)(ing me, muc)( less getting to sea all of me. HMA: Naut t)(at it matters anywaves. I know I've been on your pan. 38;) HMA: I am naut annoying. I'm CUT-E. HMA: )(owebber, I t)(ink Cal is doing ocray? HMA: I've been busy wit)( my own fins. HMA: T)(ere's been no tide to reely to worry aboat )(im. HMA: Aw)(. Look at you. HMA: You acs)(oally DO care aboat somefin otter t)(an your )(UG-E -EGO. HIA: 6ig statement ta say c9min fr9m the 6itch wh9 was all up 9n this 6IG EG9 last time ya visted (;B

HIA: and I care s9metimes! shit ya think im s9me kinda m9nster? HIA: lil guy left an impressi9n 9n me lets leave it at that HIA: and may6e y9u have 6een 9n my pan HIA: m9stly that fat ass 9f y9urs 6ut I mean it's still y9u right? HIA: 6itch that ain't luck I kn9w I'm irresista6le

HMA: It was bigger t)(an somefin else last tide. HMA: Just kidding! HMA: Your -EGO is bigger t)(an anyfin else on you. HMA: T)(at's still so CUT-E. You care aboat someone more t)(an doing your )(air or your nails. HMA: MY ASS ISN'T FAT. HMA: It's perc)(fectly proportioned for my size. HMA: YOU are just jellyfis)( I )(appen to )(ave a cute one. HMA: ... HMA: Coddamnit. W)(y do I let you encourage me to be so lewd. HMA: W)(at is your S-EACR-ET. HMA: You moby irresistabubble... HMA: Boat one fin is for s)(ore, you're t)(e one w)(o caved first and invited me over. HMA: Someone wants to rest in Peixes. 38;D

HIA: why rest when I can just keep c9min in and 9ut all day? HIA: (8B HIA: 6a6e ya ass is fat and I remem6a it quite well fr9m my angle HIA: and that ain't n9 insult either HIA: And just like ya said 6a6e I insight it cause I am irresista6le HIA: And last I remem6a Peixes y9u the 9ne wh9 sent me that 699tycall n9t me. HIA: and y9u can g9 fuck a clam with that carin' 6S y9u spillin' actin' like me havin' s9me s9rta c9mpassi9n is the funniest shit this side 9f Alternia eva see. HIA: 6itch if I truly did n9t care then this c9nv9 w9uld n9t 6e happin' and y9u'd 6e a piece 9f ass I get t9 mark 9ff my list 9f 6ad 6itches t9 fuck. |8B

HMA: You're getting sentimental on me eelready? HMA: T)(at's so sweet! HMA: Moby. HMA: Just moby. HMA: I )(appen to miss you too, )(mm? HMA: If I could sea you again, I would. HMA: Boat I pike teasing you. It's fun. HMA: It seams to keep you coming back. HMA: And conc)(estly, it must be working if you're still glubbing wit)( me. 38) HMA: It just means t)(at we )(ad a lot of fun. HMA: And moby, just MOBY, our connection is reel, t)(en.

HIA: I c9me 6ack 6ecause my mem9ry 6e fuzzy HIA: 6ut I kn9w I feel s9methin f9r y9u HIA: I kn9w Cal wiped my mind a s9methin, I just d9n't kn9w what that is. HIA: and he w9nt tell me why. HIA: I wanna kn9w why a pink fuck like y9u makes my pusher race and d9 all s9rts a things wheneva ya message me. HIA: 9r efin sea me. HIA: SEE. ME. EVEN. HIA: stupid puns

HMA: You mean you acs)(oally reely do? HMA: )(oly s)(ip. HMA: Conc)(sider me impressed! HMA: Again, if I could tell you, I would. HMA: I want to. HMA: I eel t)(e same wave. HMA: -Efin t)(oug)( you irribait me, naut being able to glub wit)( you )(as been )(ard. HMA: And you punned for me! HMA: I'm flattered! Reely! HMA: It makes it bereefabubble t)(at my caring aboat you is wort)( it. HMA: )(alibut you pun for me again? HMA: Joking and flirting seaside, )(ow are you doing? HMA: I still do acs)(oally care, you know.

HIA: ... HIA: I've 6een 6eta cutiefin HIA: c9nchestly they g9t me swamped 9va hea d9in all my shit and Didi g9t me w9rkin t9 the 69ne. HIA: I g9t c9urt in an h9ur t99 HIA: I aint neva had this many sessi9ns in a fuckin day let al9ne a week. /8B HIA: shit's 6een stressin me and the witch w9n't sit d9wn tw9 m9thafuckin' sec9nds t9 6e my m9ireel and listen t9 me. HIA: all she want is take take take she ain't neva give 6ack ta me. And if I speak up '69at it she get mad. HIA: and I w9n't say what happen afta w9rds 6ecause it aint shit y9u need ta kn9w. HIA: I 6e wantin ma lil cra6cake s9metimes s9 I can talk '69at half this shit 6ut I feel like I fucked up 9ur friendship s9meh9w? HIA: aint the first m9therfucker t9 leave s9 I mean I'm g99d whateva... HIA: I d9n't g9t much pe9ple wh9 t9lerate my shit eitha way. HIA: I g9t millie 6ut she d9n't give a shit she just a slave. HIA: she'd s99na krill me than talk pale shit.

HMA: I )(ad no idea you were so lonely. HMA: 38C HMA: I'll tell you w)(at. HMA: If I come across Cal, I can pass on a little message if you want. HMA: I'm s)(ore )(e wants to )(ear from you. HMA: I t)(ink )(e still cares aboat you, I reely do! HMA: Seadweller's )(onor. 380

HIA: I'm n9t l9nely I g9t s9me9ne in my 6ed every night- HIA: d8B HIA: ... I mean that'd mean a l9t yeah HIA: I just wanna kn9w h9w he 6e.

HMA: I'll pass it along, on my )(onor. HMA: I'm ocray I guess. HMA: I've been a little stressed trying to take care of everyone )(ere. HMA: Boat otter t)(an t)(at fins )(ave been ocray. HMA: I got a Feebas! A little Pokemon t)(at evolves into somefin beautiful. HMA: I dunno if you remember Lady, my Magikarp, boat t)(ey get along. HMA: )(ere are my two little gills! [HMA uploaded princessleiaandladyred.jpg]

HIA: 9h c99l HIA: s9unds shitty when did ya 6ec9me every9nes lusus? ?8B HIA: them little 6aes l99k ad9ra6le! (8B HIA: I g9t a kra66y named Pinchers HIA: he an 9ld fuck 6ut I l9ve 'em [HIA uploaded krabbyfuckrr.jpg]

HMA: )(e is so CUT-E! HMA: GLUB GLUB GLUB! HMA: I could stare at t)(at cutiefin all day! HMA: )(e)(e. HMA: I t)(ink I'm in love!

HIA: Next time I'll let y9u see him HIA: he a friendly giant HIA: He 6ig en9ugh y9u c9uld sit 9n his 6ack y9u'd have a 6last

HMA: I t)(ink I )(ave a reefson to come sea you t)(en. HMA: I would love to spend some tide wit)( your crabby frond. HMA: 38D 38D 38D

HIA: I g9t m9re 6ut he my fav9rite

HMA: Play favorites wit)( your partners. HMA: You're suc)( a glubbing tyrian. HMA: 38P

HIA: Whaaaaaat?? HIA: I g9t gigi my shiny gyarad9s that likes swimmin in my aquarium HIA: sharpedo likes hanging with gigi HIA: and claws my crawdaunt chills with Pinchers 9ut 9n the sand in the 6ack

HMA: You )(ave so many! HMA: I'm tidally jellyfis)(! HMA: T)(oug)( I will admit I want a s)(iny Umbreon. HMA: I want to call t)(em Nox. 38) HMA: I love my little gills t)(oug)(. HMA: One day t)(ey s)(ell be beautiful and powerful after all of t)(e love I give t)(em. 38)

HIA: I was a fuckin' nerd when I g9t the thr9ne the first few sweeps s9 HIA: I started c9llectin' and trainin' my 6a6es and n9w they 9ld, 6ig and p9werful like their daddy (8B [ HIA uploaded gigitrippin.jpg, PINCHERSNO.jpg to HMA ]

HMA: O)( my cod! HMA: I'm SO saving t)(ese! HMA: T)(ese will mako me smile over t)(e next week for t)(e fins I've got to do. HMA: You know, 'searious business'. 38P HMA: Just look at t)(em! HMA: T)(ey are so CUT-E! HMA: I want to pet t)(em all~!

HIA: i w9uldn't pet gigi they a mess HIA: 6ut yeah i g9t l9ads 9f 'em HIA: sharped9 the 9nly girl th9ugh s9 I can't even 6reed 'em )8 BHIA: I g9t m9re cute shit y9u'd pr96a6ly l9ve 6ut y9u kn9w h9w it 6e HIA: reputati9ns and shit d8B

HMA: Don't be t)(at wave! HMA: It's naut pike I )(ave anemone one I can s)(are t)(is wit)( pike t)(at. HMA: -Everyone would get ANGRY if t)(ey knew I was glubbing wit)( you. 38V HMA: Please s)(ow me! HMA: Do it for your fincess~!

HIA: why s9me69dy get mad y9u talkin t9 me aint y9u an empress??? HIA: 6itch y9u sh9uld 6e all9wed t9 d9 what y9u want when y9u want HIA: with9ut tellin n969dy y9 6usiness the fuck HIA: And fine... [ HIA uploaded plushpile.jpg to HMA ] ==> The pic is a pile of plush dolls from pokemon, different anime but the one feferi notices most are the salior scout ones, death note and attack on titan, generally cute cat, sheep and crab plushies, and sweets themed plushies as well.

HMA: W)(Y DIDN'T YOU -EV-ER GLUB YOU PIK-E SAILOR MOON OR OTT-ER ANIM-E! HMA: O)( my COD! HMA: I'm fangilling so )(ARD! HMA: You are now my favorite tyrian bass)(ole. HMA: I glubbing adore you! HMA: We )(AV-E to cuttle in t)(at pile!

HIA: T//8B HIA: Like i said HIA: I've g9t a fuckin reputati9n. HIA: I used t9 watch a shit t9n 9f anime with didi......

HMA: Fuck your reputation. HMA: You're glubbing adorabubble! HMA: 38D

HIA: N9

HMA: Coddamn it, Crabcatc)(. HMA: You're B-EGGING to be cuttled.

HIA: FUCK Y9U

HMA: Later.

HIA: YA 6ETTA KEEP YA PR9MISE N9W

HMA: I will, ocray?HMA: W)(en )(ave I ever let you down?

HIA: and I 9nly sh9wed y9u 9ne pile..... HIA: T8B y9u d9n't want an answer t9 that HIA: i g9t m9re piles...

HMA: Rig)(t. HMA: S)(ore. HMA: I need to sea moor of you piles. HMA: I'm CURIOUS. HMA: You're giving me ideas for my own.

HIA: depends which 9ne y9u wanna see HIA: m9re plush? HIA: 6lankets? HIA: pill9ws? HIA: I mean I g9t a "pile" f9r t9ys 6ut that shit's private y9

HMA: ... HMA: 38//Y HMA: I. Don't need to sea t)(at anywaves. HMA: I've. I don't. HMA: T)(at's naut necessary, Crabcatc)(.

HIA: N9T TH9SE KIND SHIT HIA: SHIT I'M N9T THAT 6AD HIA: ITS LIKE A SHELF 9F FIGURINES FUCK HIA: AND I TH9UGHT I WAS 6AD

HMA: YOU WOULD )(AV-E SOM-EFIN PIK-E T)(AT YOU GLUBBING BOTTOMF-E-ED-ER! HMA: You're still a fuckbuoy after all. HMA: For all I know you )(ave piles of underwear from all of your conc)(quests.

HIA: THAT'S DISGUSTING HIA: I'm a pr9per 6itch I g9t that kinda shit in a dresser HIA: And N9 I D9 N9T HAVE TR9LL UNDIES THAT NASTY HIA: I'm a fuck 69y n9t a pervert HIA: T8B

HMA: Good to know w)(ere you draw t)(e line. HMA: You're still )(orribubble and you know it.

HMA: It's ocray t)(oug)(. HMA: [Message deleted].

HIA: ?8 BHIA: well yeah fuck y9u t99

HMA: Saury. I got a little carried awave. HMA: Now is naut t)(e tide for somefin pike t)(at. HMA: Boat I'll tell you one day. HMA: In person. 38)

HIA: 6itch en9ugh with the cryptic talk HIA: I ain't signed up f9r this paran9rmal activity shit HIA: st9p with the damn riddles and 6e real with HIA: getitn' fuckin' ann9yin'

HMA: I am being reel wit)( you, Crabcatc)(. HMA: Just please trust me for now. HMA: As much as you can. HMA: After t)(at I can tell you everyfin. HMA: Ocray, love?

HIA: yeah yeah HIA: i d9n't like this patience shit y9u g9t me 9n HIA: T8B

HMA: I know. HMA: I'll mako it wort)( it. HMA: For t)(is I'll do nearly anyfin you ask after. HMA: )(ey. HMA: ... HMA: I'm glad to )(ear from you again. HMA: I would be lying if I didn't glub I miss you.

HIA: I'll h9ld y9u t9 it. HIA: yeah yeah same here.. HIA: /8B HIA: g9 d9 y9ur weird clade thing HIA: I g9t c9urt

HMA: Stay safe! HMA: And take care of yours)(ellf you bass)(ole. HMA: Try naut to miss me too muc)(. HMA: 38;)

HIA: same t9 y9u princess (;B [HIA has ceased trolling HMA]

#ooc #out of cuttlefish #pesterlog with who feferi is facing on monday in addition to violetblood handmaid #you would recognize him from the sharkweek ma on @signlss blog a few weeks ago #his imperial arbitration #aka tyrian signless #ooc eyes only #devious doings #plot #long post #long ass post

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nahcam · 4 years

Text

look! it’s cambriel ‘cam’ slovak. they have been living in south kingsboro for two years. they say the twenty three year old can be impulsive but also loyal, but i just think he looks a lot like logan lerman

this too me ages to do ajkvndfsjv but here is this trash bags intro ! i’ve had cam for probably almost a decade now ( yikes lmfao ), he’s a super old character of mine & i never thought i would be bringing him back but here he is, slightly revamped !!

tw: drug and alcohol abuse, abuse, mental illness, violence, mentions of miscarriage

full name : cambriel mikhailo eleazar slovak

nicknames : honestly just cam , he’ll probably scream at you if you call him anything else lmfao

gender : cismale

height : 6 ‘ 0

age : 23

birthday : october 21 , 1996

zodiac : libra sun ( libra - scorpio cusp , also known as the cusp of ‘ drama and criticism ’ ) , aquarius moon , scorpio ascendant

right handed or left handed : left handed

eye color : really baby blue , looks darker in some lightings

hair color : jet black

piercings & tattoos : no piercings , the libra symbol on his right ankle , the name ‘ eleazar ’ on his left wrist ( grandfather’s name ) , this tattoo of an unborn fetus on his upper left bicep which represents him because his parents say he was ‘the abortion that got away’, but this also represents his unborn child with ellie, and these finger tattoos right here !

languages spoken : ukrainian ( native tongue ) , pretty decent hebrew , english

sexuality : tragically ? heterosexual / heteroromantic ( 🤢🤮 )

place of birth : odesa , ukraine

last 3 songs listened to : stadium arcadium by red hot chili peppers , a gondola ride in paris by the messenger , weight of love by the black keys

character inspo : a mix of lip and frank gallagher from shameless u.s , james cook from skins u.k ( huge muse from this one ! ) , a mix of fezco and rue bennett from euphoria , billy hargrove from stranger things

soo cam was born in odesa, ukraine to a bulgarian mother ( danijla ) and a ukrainian father ( mikhailo ). now, to put it simple, neither mikhailo nor danijla wanted to have a kid at all. his mother had just turned sixteen when she found out she was pregnant and his father was barely nineteen. the only reason they even had cam is because they were literally told ‘you’re too far in the pregnancy to abort’. needless to say, he was not a wanted child at all

his first few years were mostly him staying with a terrible babysitter his parents hired to take care of him while they were out partying, since he was too young to attend school

he grew up in poverty. most of the time, his parents weren’t really around and there was nothing to eat. he grew up wearing hand me downs from his older cousins, basically broke AF tbh, and his parents cared more about getting fucked up then feeding their son ( and their only son, at that )

from a pretty young age, he remembers living in pretty shitty conditions. his house was always a mess, always scattered with empty bottles of alcohol and a lingering smell of weed, sometimes even meth, but he was too young to know the smell of that

things were never really okay for him, but he managed and learned to fend for himself early on. it wasn’t until he was around six, almost seven, that shit started getting real

his mother began cheating on his dad. when he wasn’t home, she would bring over the same guy and lock the door of their room, telling cam the man was her brother and also his ‘uncle’. cam, of course, was too young to see what was really going on. he never said anything when the man would leave minutes before his father would come home, mostly because he didn’t think it was important

he was going to school one day when he forgot to knock on the door to his parents room. he basically barges in and catches his mother having sex with the guy she claimed was her ‘brother’, and even though he was young, he knew better. luckily, they were too into what they were doing to notice cam walking in, so he quickly walked out and went to school. it’s a lot to witness your parent cheating on your other parent, and it’s even worse if you’re fucking six years old. cam was determined to tell his father, but he didn’t have to

that day, when he came home from school, he found his father drinking on the floor, tears in his eyes, claiming his mother had packed all her things and left. from that moment on, it was just cam and his father

you would expect things to get better from there on out, since mikhailo no longer had anyone to go out and party with, but things just seemed to spiral downwards. mikhailo became angry and began to drink and do drugs ( mostly just coke ). and, if you guessed it, he began to take out all his frustrations on cam

it wasn’t even that big at first, mostly just insults, him telling cam that they meant to abort him, but waited too long and found out too late to do so, petty, petty shit that obviously hurt cam, but he managed it, because his father was the only person he had left

after a while though, it became physical. cam began to notice how differently his father would act when he was sober ( almost never ) versus when he was fucked up. he became violent, little words setting him off. it was almost like he had a split personality of some sort, with the way cam would watch him switch off one moment then switch on the next

he became a victim of abuse, and of course, this led to pretty violent behaviors from pretty early on in his life. all the abuse he would endure, he would quickly take it out on anyone who crossed him the wrong way

this went on for quite some time, but, as sick as it sounded, cam didn’t have the heart to snitch on his father. he wasn’t a doctor, but he could tell he had some type of mental illness, and just add drugs and alcohol to that mix, and he was practically a mess. the only reason they weren’t kicked out of the house was because they owned the house, but most of the time, if not always, they were missing basic necessities like food, clean water or even toilet paper

his life was shit and he knew it, but again, he didn’t have the heart to snitch, even though he knew his dad didn’t love or want him, so, he put up with it. he took it ‘like a man’, as his father said. he did such a good job at hiding his bruises and avoiding talking about his private life

he basically mimicked what his father did to him and did the same thing to other kids. he knew it was wrong, because all the things his father did to him made him feel like shit, empty on the inside, the type of things you cry yourself to sleep with, and maybe that’s exactly why he was so fucking mean and violent to everyone – he wanted them to feel all the pain he was feeling. he didn’t think it was fair that kids his grade had such big houses, such great parents and loving siblings, pets, basically everything he wanted to have but lacked

the amount of times he was suspended from school before he was even ten years old was surprising. it was mostly just violence, but he also got in trouble for stealing and basic bullying. his teachers and basically everyone at school called him ‘the devils child’

he thought he could keep his secret going forever, but everything has to come to an end. he was being reprimanded by one of his teachers when she grabs him by the arm to take him out the room, to which he winces. long story short, but she found all his bruises, then realized he was covering up a bunch on his face with concealer

it was obvious he had a serious problem when she asked him ‘how did this happen?’ and his literal reply was ‘if you tell anyone about this, i’ll hurt you and your entire family’, before pushing her desk to the floor and running out before she could catch him

he thought it would all settle down after a while. he didn’t go to school the following days to avoid seeing her, but his encounter with her bought everything to light. after the fourth day of staying home, police raided his house and arrested his father, taking cam to a group home

instead of feeling relieved because he no longer had to put up with abuse, he got even angrier, if that was possible. he had to testify against his father and he was living with a bunch of people he didn’t even know. if his life was already shit before, it turned even shittier now

he basically became property of the government, a foster child, when he was thirteen years old. he was jumping from group home to group home, foster home to foster home, basically living a much more unstable life than he had with his father

he repeatedly blamed the teacher who snitched on him and even went as far as egging her house and slashing her tires ( crazy mf tbh ). he was getting into constant fights at his foster homes ( which resulted in him being transferred constantly ), stealing, and during this time, experimenting with drugs

as depressing as it sounds, but he was so young and constantly thinking about death. he fantasized the ways he would die, how it would happen, and he constantly asked himself what he did wrong in his past life to live the life he was living now. being a foster kid wasn’t a step up at all. if anything, the kids he lived with were more fucked up then he was. everyone had their own story and some serious trauma they carried with them. everyone acted out one way or another

for cam, it was drugs, violence, and crime. he was doing so much bullshit at such a young age, literally lived way more at his thirteen years than most people do by like, twenty five. his entire life was a fucking trip. he even went to juvie a good three times, and he was literally fucking thirteen

authorities deemed his father unfit to take care of him ( as if it wasn’t obvious ). however, it was revealed that his father had more mental health issues than cam thought. he had borderline personality disorder, or bpd, and was beginning to show signs of early dementia and possible schizophrenia, mostly psychosis. instead of putting him in prison, he was put in a mental asylum, which deeply depressed cam when finding out because he did that. even though it was probably the best thing that happened to him, he lived with constant guilt and blamed himself, despite knowing his father obviously needed professional help

it seemed like his life would remain crappy forever, like he would be stuck living the rest of his life in ukraine, probably in prison before he was even nineteen. luckily for cam though, authorities managed to track down a family member he had who was living in new york, his grandfather named eleazar, or his dad’s dad

cam didn’t even know he had a grandfather to begin with. he just assumed most people from his family were either dead, too old to care, or just didn’t want to meet him. he was even more surprised when he was told his grandfather wanted to take him to new york and legally adopt him, meaning he would leave behind everything he’s ever known

he was expecting his grandfather to be just as bad as his father was, but he would do anything to leave foster care, so he agreed to meet him

he was not expecting the man who wanted to adopt him to be the way he was. it was almost as if his father had been adopted, because he had absolutely nothing in common with his father ( or cam’s grandfather )

cam discovered a ton of things when he met his grandfather. for starters, he had absolutely no idea he was jewish at all. his father never practiced any type of religion and never told him anything about his family bg, so finding out his entire family from his father’s side was jewish was pretty shocking. he also discovered that his grandfather had been in ww2 ( literally ), in camp auschwitz in southern poland, from 1943 till the end of the war. he even had the tattoo he was forced to get when entering the camp when he was eight years old, basically a survivor. he was separated from his mother, father, and older sister and hasn’t seen or heard of them since, but suspects they’re all dead. when he was old enough, he moved from poland to ukraine

talking to the man fascinated cam in every sense of the word. it wasn’t just because he was his grandfather, but cam had truly never met anyone like him at all. he was basically everything that cam wanted to be, a survivor, a fighter, brave, genuine... the list of his good qualities were infinite. it took a while, but cam was finally moving to kingsboro, new york with his grandfather when he was fourteen years old, after he had officially become his legal guardian

from there, life seemed to get a little better. he learned english and was taught hebrew by his grandfather, and he listened to his war stories every day and even asked him to repeat the ones he had already told. his grandfather was walking, living proof that the things cam had gone through were tough, sure, but they were nothing compared to what his grandfather lived through. in a way, the man gave him hope that things would eventually get better, and they definitely did

his bad ass tendencies never went away, but they certainly got a lot better since living with his grandpa, since his life was a lot more stable. he had a clean, spacious home, food, ac... could he really ask for more?

with the help from his grandpa, he even agreed to go to therapy and speak with a psychologist about his issues. he was getting so much better, less angry, but there was still trauma there because how does one even get rid of that?

now, fast forward to high school and he’s, tragically, selling drugs for extra money, but not really doing anything hard, hard, mostly just dealing. on his senior ( or junior? ) year, he meets none other than ellie, basically the first girl he’s ever really loved, and of course, they start to date, fall madly in love, and she gets pregnant with his child

this is enough to make cam straighten out his act because unlike his father, he wants to be there for his kid. in his head, he’s thinking he’s going to marry this girl. he’s thinking they’re going to have a kid and live happily ever after, but, as always, tragedy hits and she has a miscarriage, which of course, devastates cam a lot

we all know how this goes tho 🤡 after some time, they seem to drift apart. cam really wants to make things work, but ellie throws herself in her school work and starts pulling away from him, resulting in their breakup six months after the miscarriage

he takes this harder then he should and goes to jersey to stay with a high school friend for a while, ghosting everyone ( minus his grandfather ) completely. this kind of triggers something inside him and he’s suddenly back to his old habits ( old habits die hard, huh? )

catch him selling drugs, fighting people and snorting ketamine like it’s candy, bitch! he hasn’t even hit rock bottom yet, but he’s definitely getting there. it was like the breakup and losing a kid makes him snap back to his old self. them drifting apart just further reminds him that everyone leaves him eventually for someone better, because he’s fucked up and unlovable. he constantly tells himself that his own mother and father never loved nor wanted him, so why would ellie? the most fucked up part is that he doesn’t even blame her for doing what she did, because he would have done the same if he was in her shoes

now he’s back in new york and he’s slowly but surely turning into a fucking ketamine junkie. he knows what drugs and alcohol did to his family, but he’s doing it anyways, because he doesn’t give not one single fuck tbh 😂

i feel like the only person he has that’s actually there for him is his grandfather, but the man is 86 years old. cam knows he doesn’t have long, and honestly? the day his grandfather dies is probably the day he actually does hit rock bottom, but we’ll wait for that day to come by lmfao

libra-scorpio cusp with hella more scorpio tendencies!! he’s a sneaky little fuck, and he can be super manipulative when he wants to be. also curses like a fucking sailor, saying ‘fuckin’ at least 6 times in one sentence LOL

he plays guitar and is actually really fucking good at it ( think like, john frusciante , david gilmour , dan auerbach, or even jimi hendrix ), he also writes poetry and short stories as a way to let out his frustrations, but he keeps this super lowkey. most people think he makes all his money from drug dealing, but a good amount of his money also comes from publishing guitar covers on youtube. he never shows his face and goes under the alias, trickfinger. he has 3 million subscribers on his channel, but no one knows its him

this is already superrr fucking long so i’m going to end it here, but i’m going to put his birthchart below this for some extra #tea

#kingsboro.intro #( queuekachu! )#this took me forever this is so fuckin long jfc

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fromdemonsandart · 7 years

Text

Title: No light

Chapter: 2 - Chapter 1 here

Words: 1915

Pairings: Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, Eleven/Mike Wheeler.

It’s their last year of high school, the traumatic event that happened years before it in the past. All they hope is to enjoy that last year. The boys are best friends as always, except for Mike and Will who are more than that…

Everything seemed as normal as it could be, but things couldn’t be easy. They never were.

Eleven returns, Mike develops feelings for her again and Will is in the middle of everything.

It all felt so surreal. Time? It didn’t exist. Or so she believed, even if her hair grew, her nails, her body… It all changed. There hadn’t been a mirror to where she could actually see herself in, still she could feel she wasn’t the same.

The place was different, wasn’t it? It was too bright, or so she felt it when she opened her eyes. Weakly, she covered her face with one hand; the other one seemed to be… restrained somehow. The girl made a small sound, completely tired, what had happened exactly? Whatever she’d been living, it drained her, but she never allowed herself to feel it. Resting or surviving, that’s how it worked there. Again, the upside down was so dark and that place was too bright.

“Hey.” a soft voice said, startling her. “Take it easy, you're fine now.”

Eleven turned her head, to see who was speaking. That voice, it sounded so familiar… Surely she had heard it once, a long time ago.

Then she blinked, almost unable to open her eyes completely. Nevertheless, the figure she could see, the colors, they were all too familiar for some reason.

“My name's Jim Hopper.” He introduced himself, it took her a while but she recognised him.

“Where…?”

“At the hospital. Don’t worry, you’re safe now.” He repeated and Eleven wanted to cry. Was she, though? Was she safe?

A part of her, however, didn’t care about the answer. If it was true, if she wasn’t dreaming, then she was out. There weren’t any questions from her part, though, not having the energy to think about them. Hopper didn’t explain much, either. All he said was that she was safe, he kept repeating that.

Then there was a doctor, the sole sight of him making her hyperventilate. A man with white robes… But Hopper promised her she was safe, he kept saying it even then. It was so hard for her to trust people, especially men in white ropes. Yet deep inside her, she knew she could trust Hopper. Thus she endured it, she could do it once more.

Will woke up at the sound of her mother talking loudly on the phone. Alright, he woke up just five minutes before his alarm went off; but those were glorious five minutes! Sighing at the sight of his alarm clock, he just left his bed.

Ignoring his mother, Will went to brush his teeth. Still, he noticed she sounded distressed somehow. Was she speaking to his father? He hadn’t hear from him for almost a year, not even calling on Will’s birthday. Rarely did he, so the boy learned not to see it as a personal attack; It wasn’t that he was a bad son, but Lonnie was a shitty father. Thinking about it, it made sense to hear his mother like that. Nevertheless, it still seem to be about something else… So when he finished brushing his teeth, he went to where his mother was.

“Was it dad?” He asked as soon as Joyce hung up the phone. His voice almost made her jump.

“What? No, no, honey. It’s, uh, it’s complicated.” She looked shaken up, which only served to worry Will.

“Then what…?”

“I have to go.” She said, hurriedly taking her keys. “There’s some eggs, if you want. See you later, okay honey?”

His mother gave her a quick hug before leaving, not leaving space for any question. There wasn’t any point in dwelling in it, for now, as he had to go to school. It just, ugh, he wished he hadn’t.

Taking advantage of those extra five minutes, he made some toasts to eat with two eggs, which he drank with orange juice. The day before he ate less, maybe that was why he fainted… Although deep down he knew that wasn’t the reason, but he couldn’t think of anything else. He didn’t want to think about anything else. It’d been years, right? It couldn’t be that! He got over that! Or so he said to himself from time to time…

Having eaten his breakfast, he filled Chester’s plate as he always did. Will caressed his pet’s fur, trying to forget for a second about everything. It was fine, he was fine. Everything was normal, everything was normal…

To stop his mind from wandering to terrible places, he started to think about something else as he rode on his bike to school. He thought about spending Christmas with his family, about Jonathan's picture being published in a magazine a couple of months ago; he thought of the summers with his friends. The thing he thought about most was Mike, how he told him he loved him before asking him to be his boyfriend.

It had been in Mike's basement and they were speaking after weeks without doing so. Will had been avoiding him since he found out his friend had kissed Katy Miller in a party. There wasn't any reasonable excuse to give, so he didn’t; he just avoided his friend. He had been so angry and so had Mike, it seemed, as he demanded to know why he was acting that way. Words came, words went by; before he could tell, they were kissing.

His cheek started to burn as he arrived the school, his mind was elsewhere alright. Leaving his bike, he realised he was the first one of his group of friends to arrived. Everything was fine, he repeated like a mantra, everything was normal. Speaking of which…

“Well, look who’s here!” Troy says, walking in front of him alongside his goonies. “Hawkins little fairy!”

Will sighed, more annoyed than anything. After everything that happened, it was hard to be scared of them, of anything actually. Nevertheless, the feeling of uneasiness didn't go away, as it was the first time in almost two years that they got him like that. Alone. They wouldn't hurt him, though, they couldn't be so stupid… Or so hoped at that moment.

“Call me all the things you want, Troy. But please finish before class starts.” Will replied, sounding almost bored. Even if he felt rather anxious, he still knew there were worse things than bullies. So much worse.

“You can go, Will.” Troy said with a smirk, confusing everyone there.

“But Troy, we just got him!” complained one of his friends.

“Guys, don’t you get it? He’s getting late to his appointment, sucking Wheeler’s dick!”

Everyone burst into laughter, as Will felt he was going to throw up. While some people said they were too ‘closed’, it was the first time someone ever said something about Mike and it made him feel sick. He knew their love wasn’t wrong, his family knew, their friends knew! But he also knew how people were, how Troy and his friends were.

He was left speechless, but it almost didn’t mind as they didn't seem to expect a word from him. What was that about? Did they just want to let him know that they knew? Actually, knew? Had they see them near Castle Byers?

Before Will could say anything or the gang could throw another insult, Mike and Lucas appeared.

“Just in time, Byers.” Troy said, a wicked smirk in his face as he left, followed by the other boys.

As he watched the other boys leave, he felt someone touch his shoulder. Lucas.

“They will literally annoy us ‘till the end.” His friend said, annoyance showing in his face. “What did they say?”

“Same as usual.” He said nonchalantly, even if he was still a bit shook.

“You sure?” asked Mike.

“Yeah. I almost missed their stupid faces.”

“Can’t relate!” Lucas said, already walking towards his class.

Dustin arrived just a couple of minutes later, the day went by as usual after that. Then why did Will feel as if something odd was happening? Everything felt strange out of sudden, a feeling that just didn't go away.

As the boys returned home, Will told them about his mom. There was something strange going on, but he couldn't figure out what.

“Well, if it was your dad, maybe she doesn’t want you to know?” Dustin suggested, but Will just shook his head.

“Why would she do that?”

“No offence, but he’s an asshole. Maybe that’s why.” Lucas interjected, while everyone nodded.

He knew that, but he also knew his mother would tell him if it was something related to his father. Perhaps he was just being silly… It seemed that was all it was lately. Actually, he never stopped being paranoid since his return, but he was pretending so well! And he'd continue doing so. Thus, he agreed with them, they were probably right he said. Will wasn’t sure whether he was lying or not.

His mother wasn't at home when he arrived, allowing Mike to stay with him for a while. After finding out that they were dating, well, sleepovers were out of the question. Everyone understood, but it didn't make it less annoying for him. If there were all of his friends, sure, but not between Mike and him.

Will sat on the couch as Mike played with Chester, talking as they did so. There was a story he was writing, so he talked to his boyfriend who was never cruel with his criticism but didn’t lie either. Though, true to be told, he was a rather stuck with it. Usually he drew and wrote everyday, even if it was just a few lines. It had only been a day, but he couldn’t think of anything else to add.

“It has to do with you fainting yesterday?” Mike asked, still worried.

“Probably, I… I don’t know anymore.” He sighed, feeling overwhelmed about the stupidest thing.

“You didn’t have flashbacks, did you?”

“Mike…” Will replied annoyed at his accusatory tone, not liking what he was implying. “I told you the truth about everything, I don’t know what happened. I. Don’t. Know!”

Will breathed hard for a couple of seconds, before forcing himself to calm down. What was wrong with him?

“I’m sorry, I don’t know…”

“Hey.” His boyfriend said, cupping his face between his hands. “It’s alright, I just…”

“You just worry, I know.” He said, with a small smile. “I’m just being a jerk.”

Instead of replying, Mike held him. The taller boy was well aware that Will never truly got over what happened years ago. Sure, he got better but he doubted he’d ever just forget about had happened. That didn’t mean things weren’t alright, but it didn’t mean that Mike got scared from time to time. Like the day before, where he could barely catch Will as he fell.

But it was alright! Every time it happened less, with a greater distance between an episode and another.

Instead of offering comforting words, he kept asking about the story, helping him continue imagining it. So Will kept giving different scenarios, while Mike gave his opinion about which one fit better. Both of them knew it was getting late, but being like that, with Will’s head laying on his shoulder while he had his arms around him. The taller boy did not want to go, even if he knew he’d see his boyfriend the very next day. Barely could he sleep after that phone conversation the night before, thinking about him.

“Let’s go to the movies this Friday.” Will suggested, taking Mike away from his thoughts. “I know the four of us are hanging out that day, but we can do it before. Or afterwards. What do you say?”

Truth to be told, they hadn’t gone to many dates… Actually, they hadn’t been alone that much as they didn’t want to leave their friends behind. After all they promised everything would stay the same, so rarely did they show affection in front of them. Sure, they touched hands, they hugged but kissing? Only to annoy them! Maybe a date would be a good idea, it could also help Will relax a bit.

“Or just rent a movie and watch it here?” Will asked carefully, taking Mike’s silence as a ‘no’.

“No, no. Let’s go to the movies, buy popcorn, soda and all that crap.” He replied, almost laughing. “That’s what couples do, right?”

Will felt so grateful towards him and, knowing he was leaving in any minute, he closed the little distance that separated them to kiss him. It was slow, gentle, as most of their kisses were. At that moment, however, Will remembered something; something unpleasant. Why, of all the moments…?

“Mike?” He asked breathless, his eyes still closed. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Okay.” Mike replied, feeling sick out of sudden. Those were never good words.

It was at that moment, of course, when the door opened. Quickly they separated, pretending that nothing was wrong. Mike went as far as standing up, leaving Will sitting in the couch.

“Sorry I took so long, I… Mike?” Joyce asked as the boy's face burned. Surely he resembled a tomato now…

“Hi, Mrs. Byers I was going to go home now so…” he said, taking his bag and ready to leave.

Obviously Joyce knew and couldn't care less about his son loving another boy, but it didn’t make the boys any more comfortable. Even so, Will wanted to both die and laugh at the same time.

“Oh, Mike! Hello, honey.” She greeted, looking rather nervous. “Yes, good. Because it’s getting dark, your mother must be worried.”

He nodded as he got closer to the door, at this Will went to hug him. “Let’s talk later”, he whispered, as his boyfriend hugged him back.

There was something going on with his mother, even if she reassured him that everything was right. So they sat together, ate dinner, as Joyce asked him how his day was. Will thought about everything, about Troy’s words, but he answered it was fine.

Seeing no point in insisting, not now at least, he went to the bedroom. There he grabbed his walkie talkie, knowing Mike was already home in his bedroom. Meanwhile his mother was passing up and down, thinking about who she saw. A girl, not older than her youngest, lying in a hospital bed. A girl she knew a little too well, those years ago…

#st fanfic #byeler #darklovies

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