#I still don't forgive you for the Christmas party | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

howaboutcastiel · 2 years

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Not My Intention (Moon Boys x F!Reader)

Content Warning: mentions of physical/mental abuse

Word Count: 3.1k

Request (Abbreviated) @twhgirl

Could you write one moon boys x female!reader, where they've been dating for a while… They notice she gets anxious and startled very easily, but when they bring it up she always brushes them off so they don't pry. They don’t know she's previously been in an abusive relationship. And maybe they're at an office party and some guy comes to her when she's alone and the boys get jealous since it's obvious he's trying to flirt with their girl.

Content: Angst!! Fluff, poorly translated Spanish (obligatory) this shit is pathetic and soFT (not a comment on the recommendation just my writing) reader is dating the entire MK system

This is the first time I’ve tried to write in omniscient 2nd person so forgive me if I mess up the perspective somewhere <3 Thank you for the request!!! Much appreciated

It had been just over a month since you had moved in with your boyfriends. Steven had tried to get you to move in sooner, even offering to cook you breakfast each morning to entice you, but you were trying to take this relationship one step at a time. The boys didn’t quite understand your apprehension, but they respect the boundaries that you put in place. You hadn’t told them the reason that you wanted to take things so slowly. They didn’t know about the damage your last boyfriend had left in his wake.

You had fallen absolutely head over heels for him, desperate to do anything to please him. You didn’t even care about all of the glaring red flags, like how he refused to meet your parents or to introduce himself to your friends. Before long, you had shut yourself off from everyone in order to meet his every demand. You endured the yelling, the manipulation, the guilt-tripping, and even the flat-out threats. You had even endured his escalation to violence; by then, he’d convinced you that you deserved it. It wasn’t until a particularly heated argument left you in the hospital with two broken ribs that you finally realized you had to get away from him.

And so you did. But the damage was already done. Your self-esteem was shattered and your ability to trust equally so. You hadn’t even been looking for a relationship when you first met Steven Grant, but you were so taken aback by his gentleness. At this point in your life, it was the most attractive quality a man could have. You had been fairly understanding when Steven introduced you to Marc and Jake, as you felt safer by any of their sides than you’d felt in years. They soon all three became your devoted boyfriends, and you were happy. You didn’t fully comprehend how much your past abuse still affected you, though. How it still lingered in your subconscious.

Tonight was the office Christmas party at your job. It would be the first time that your coworkers would meet your boyfriend (whomever was fronting tonight, that is). It would also be the first time that you would see all of your colleagues in one place, as this was the first office party you would be attending for the company.

Jake had convinced you to wear quite a revealing dress, insisting that he wanted everyone to see how beautiful you were and maybe even be envious because you belonged to him. You thought he looked ravishing in his own suit, complete with a plum-colored tie to match the color of your dress. The party was more crowded than you had anticipated. You’d never even met many of the employees here, and you were just as unfamiliar with their plus ones as they were with your own.

Jake was considerably more in his element than you were at a party. He was easily the most charismatic man you’d ever seen, able to stir up a conversation with any stranger in the room. You were not quite as socially confident. You spent a large portion of your night following him around. It was easy to smile and nod while he kept the conversation going with your peers. When he had spilled some of his soda onto his tie, though, he’d had to excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving you alone in the sea of largely unfamiliar people.

You started by looking for someone familiar to talk to, someone you saw on a more regular basis. Finally, you found your friend Cameron sipping wine in the corner with her girlfriend. It didn’t take you long to figure out that both of them were quite drunk. You let your small talk fizzle out after it became evident that they were too far gone to keep it going, rambling over you about some trip they were taking to Rome over the holiday.

“Hey, pretty lady,” A quite inebriated man interrupted your half-listening to Cameron’s babbling. You recognized him as a new hire you’d seen once or twice, but you didn’t know his name. He made you uncomfortable, but you knew better than to be rude to creepy men at this point. “How are you liking the party?”

“It’s pretty fun,” You replied, trying to be polite but not intending to stimulate a conversation with him. “Was just talking to my friends here.”

“Oh, I’m sure they won’t mind.” He purred and you could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was standing just slightly too close to you, leaning into the table in a subtle effort to keep you from walking away. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself? Would think you’d have a man on your arm.”

“He’s in the bathroom! My boyfriend,” You added quickly, causing him to raise an eyebrow in suspicion. You hoped that he didn’t think you were lying. You continued, “I’m sure he’ll be out in just a minute.”

“Well, I’ll just wait here with you then.” He said, placing a suggestive hand on your shoulder. Your instincts told you that shoving it off would be a bad idea. “I would sure love to meet him. Say, I didn’t catch this ‘boyfriends’ name. Who’s the lucky man, sweetheart?”

“My name is Jake.” You caught a breath in your throat as Jake emerged behind the man. Feelings of relief and of guilt fought each other inside your head. Was he going to be angry at you? God, you hoped he didn’t think you were flirting. At least he was here to get this odd man away from you, though. The thoughts scrambled for dominance in your brain.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Jake.” The man all but spat at your partner, dropping his grasp on your shoulder. “Quite a feisty one you’ve got here, wouldn’t you say? What a lucky guy you are.”

“Yes, she’s quite a pistol.” Jake’s expression was unamused. He wrapped his arm around your waist, more assertively than he normally did. “And uh… I didn’t catch your name. Do you work here as well?”

“Something like that.” The man replied shortly. He walked away, now uninterested as he realized you were a taken woman. And that the man you belonged to wasn’t exactly a pushover. Jake, however, looked anything but uninterested.

“Honey, who was that man?” The expression on his face was unreadable. It sent a weight to the pit of your stomach. You didn’t know how to respond.

“He’s, um…” you all but choked on the words, now genuinely upset by the look of betrayal on your boyfriend’s face. You didn’t know how to explain the man’s unwanted advances. Hell, you didn’t know if Jake would even believe you if you did. “He just started working here a few weeks ago.”

“Hmm.” Jake seemed annoyed, and you felt yourself break into a cold sweat. Despite all you knew about your partner, you were exhibiting a fight-or-flight response to his upset. Spiralling thoughts began to stir in your already fumbling brain.

Oh God, he’s mad at me. He thinks I was flirting with that man. That disgusting man! What’s he going to do? I’m gonna have to sleep on the couch tonight. But I can explain it to him! Surely he will listen to me. Oh fuck, now he’s giving me the silent treatment. Is he going to yell at me in the parking lot?

The thoughts continued to race through your mind. Of course, they couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, Jake was giving you the silent treatment. But it wasn’t because he was upset with you. He hadn’t noticed the man’s unwanted advances--to him it appeared that the man was being playful, and that you were joking along with him. No, Jake was being silent because he was jealous. Not so much as that you’d broken his trust, but that he’d gotten himself riled up by the idea that you were his. Well, his, Marc’s, and Steven’s, but nonetheless he knew that you belonged to him.

Yes, Jake was giving you the silent treatment. But not because he was angry at you. Not because he felt betrayed by you. And certainly not because he planned to yell at you in the parking lot or on the way home. On the contrary, he planned to show you just how much he appreciated that you were his. Jake led you out of the doors of the office silently, going over his plan to fuck you into the mattress as soon as you got back to the apartment.

Your heart continued to beat out of your chest as he all but dragged you into the passenger’s seat of his car. By now, you were covered in a thin layer of sweat, but you didn’t make any comment on what you perceived to be his righteous anger. You didn’t want to cause a scene with your coworkers so close by.

He was completely silent on the excruciatingly long drive home. Your thoughts continued to escalate. So did his.

He’s got to be so angry with me.

She looks so fucking sexy in that little dress.

I think he’s gonna yell at me when we get back.

I’m gonna have to rip it off of her. I don’t have the patience to unbutton it.

Should I just apologize to him now? Would that make it worse?

I wonder if she gets off on flirting like that. Does she like making me jealous?

I should have just stayed where I was. Then he wouldn’t have come up to me.

God, I’m gonna show her how much she fucking gets me worked up.

What if he doesn’t want to forgive me? I’ll plead with him all night if I have to.

Voy a perder la puta cabeza. Tan malditamente hermosa. Y todo mio. All mine.

Perhaps if Steven was co-conscious he would have noticed the way you were shaking. He was the first in the system to notice how anxious you were on a regular basis. Of course all of your boys knew how sensitive you were, but they never pried as to why you were so apprehensive. To them, it just seemed to be your nature and, if it was something else, you would open up when you were ready.

Nonetheless, Jake was failing to notice you were on the verge of a panic attack. When he did steal glances at you between focusing on the dimly-lit road, he mistook your shortened breathing and blushing skin as evidence you had gotten into the wine at the party. He wasn’t to blame for his lack of understanding, truly. He was barely keeping himself together right now. So he really wasn’t at fault when he continued his ruse by avoiding your gaze as you made your way to the door of the apartment. He didn’t know that you failed to see his disfavor was just teasing.

After listening to his cheeky thoughts for the whole ride home, the other boys were now bordering on co-consciousness. Steven could see everything through Jake’s eyes, though he was unable to take control. Marc was holding back more intentionally, though he wouldn’t pretend that he wasn’t equally as enthusiastic. He was egging Jake on, just as heated by your body in that skin-tight dress.

“C’mon man, show her who she belongs to. Make her work for it, too.” They were all eaten up with lust, senses clouded by their desire and their excitement. It wasn’t until the apartment door slammed behind them that they were snapped back to reality.

You jumped at the way the door shook against the hinges, the sound of contact echoing through the kitchen. You tried not to panic as Jake barreled over to you, jaw locked with aggression. All of your trauma was flooding back to you now, manifesting in your rawest survival instincts. Jake raised a calloused hand up to your face and you reflexively put up your arm to shield yourself.

Then there was silence.

At least, to you. There was shouting inside of Jake’s head as the boys processed what they had just seen.

What the hell was that? Did she think we were going to… hit her? Why the hell would she think that? Is she scared of us? She’s never been scared of us before. She knows that we would never hurt her. Any of us! It must have been a reflex. A reflex? Why would she have a reflex like that?

Then there was silence in his head, too.

Oh.

Of course, you couldn’t hear any of their thoughts. Your own thoughts were loud enough to fill the room. You felt immediately guilty for implying that Jake would ever hurt you. That any of them would for that matter. But you also felt a wave of pain as your mind forced you back to where those reflexes were learned. You couldn’t stop the tears before they were streaming down your face, and you couldn’t get enough air in no matter how much you gasped for it. You felt your knees buckle underneath you, luckily your partner was there to brace your collapse to the ground.

“I’m so sorry, mi Vida,” Jake stuttered, pulling your head into his chest. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Or to make you think I was angry. I’m not mad at you, I promise. I thought I was just poking fun. God, baby, I’m sorry.”

You struggled to regulate your breathing as he massaged your back, holding you as close as he could. His body tensed underneath you and his hands broke their rhythm, indicating someone else was trying to front. You almost felt more guilty that you were making a scene in front of all of your boys. But you were admittedly more comforted by their presence.

“Did someone hurt you, love?” Steven asked in a gentle whisper. You could only nod into his chest, your voice ravaged by the sobs overtaking your body. “We would never lay a hand on you, darling. Not one of us. Never. I swear it on my life.”

Steven continued to stroke your back, shushing you and repeating “you’re alright”s and “it’s okay”s until your breathing finally began to calm. He planted kisses on the top of your head, waiting patiently for you to regain your composure. It was several minutes before he gently asked you if you’d like to stand up off the floor.

“How’s about I make you a cup of tea, yeah? And then we can sit and talk if you’re comfortable.” Steven coaxed you over to the couch, handing you the box of tissues he kept on his desk. Your eyeliner had ruined his shirt, leaving uneven stripes down his already soda-soaked tie. He gave no indication that he minded though. In fact, he grabbed one of his own oversized night shirts for you to change into as he waited for the kettle to boil.

Finally he emerged from the kitchen with your favorite mug in hand. He’d lost his tie somewhere along his little mission to comfort, his top button now undone and his hair disheveled. You almost giggled at the thought of the two of you, hot messes barely reminiscent of your elegant pre-party selves.

“Here we are, love. Extra milk. Just how you like it.” Steven brandished an uneven grin, wary of your response as he settled on the couch next to you. He spoke genuinely as he handed you the mug. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay.” You began, sipping from your piping hot cup. Perfect. Steven always made it just right. You knew now that it was time to tell the three of them the truth. They’d already gathered the big idea, anyway, you supposed. They had put so much of their faith in you. Hell, they practically worshipped you. It was time you gave them the honesty they deserved. And time that you admitted to yourself how much healing you still had left to do.

You talked for hours that night. Mostly with Steven, but Jake and Marc made their appearances, too. Steven was a master of comfort, assuring you of the love and respect that you deserved. He even drew you a bath later that night, lighting your favorite candles and setting up speakers around the tub for you to play music. Jake made his fair share of threats and you had to make him promise not to go after your ex. You weren’t entirely sure he didn’t have his fingers crossed, though. Marc mostly listened. He listened intently. He also made sure to tell you how much he loved you every time you paused for breath. He would have given you the world if he could find a way to hold it in his hands.

And when you finally succumbed to your exhaustion it was Marc that held you safely in his arms. His chin nestled into your neck, he whispered sweet nothings until he heard you softly snoring. Only then did he start to relax, sure that his best girl was taken care of first. It was the best night's sleep you had ever had in your life. It wasn’t far from his, either.

#marc spector #steven grant #moon knight #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #moon knight x reader #moon knight x you #jake lockley #moon night fanfiction #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #marc spector x reader #masterlist

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auteurdelabre · 7 months

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Something to Fight For (Part Ten)

Word Count: 10.0

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no age or physical descriptions)

WARNINGS: Potential trigger of abandonment. Self Pleasure. Brutal conversations.

A/N: The story is gonna twist and turn and you may want to jump ship. But I hope you can trust that as your captain I’m gonna get our two leads to a safe and happy shore.

Hours after the heat has cooled from his veins Joel calls you. With a pounding heart he holds the phone to his ear and silently begs the universe to help him. To have you forgive him his initial devastation.

You don't answer.

You're on a train. You're on a plane, he tells himself. You'll call him when you stop.

But you don't.

For the next two weeks Joel calls you every day leaving messages asking you to explain what's going on. He doesn't ask Maria anything because it feels like an overstep. He don't know how much she knows about you two.

But he needs to know you're okay. He tells you that he wants to be there for you, that he's sorry he left in a huff. He'll go to wherever you are if you'll just call him back.

He wants to prove that he'll be there you just need to call him back so he knows if he's overstepping or not.

He even tries texting. Just one word.

Please.

You never answer him. You don't text or call or make contact with him in any way.

When at Christmas dinner with Tommy, Maria and Sarah he overhears from Tommy that you've contacted Maria, that you're safe, Joel feels extreme relief and then a crashing devastation.

On New Years Eve he gets spectacularly drunk and spends hours thinking about you. He considers asking Maria where the fuck you are. He wants an address. He'll fly wherever you are and see you and make you explain. He'll make you listen to him apologize. He'll do anything to be in the warm sun of your smile.

But when he sobers that first day of a new year and he realizes it's going on week three of radio silence getting you, something starts to shift.

He doesn't tell Maria or Tommy about you two. Why would he? There's nothing to tell is there? You were never his and he was a fucking idiot for thinking you were.

Joel doesn't get to have things like Tommy does. Joel gets wives who leave him. Joel works hard and gets things taken from him.

Over a glum lunch Sarah, who had been so distracted by Christmas gifts and parties and Santa, asks where you are. It's the sight of her concerned face, the panic that you're not coming back that strengthens his resolve.

For the first time in almost three weeks he doesn't try to contact you.

///

Then it's January.

You never call.

He stops waiting for you to.

///

The wheels of your plane touchdown in Austin the first week of February. It's been six weeks since you were last here.

You've used up all your vacation time. Poor Alex had been called upon to run things the entire time. But you'd called to check in, helping with what you could over the phone.

You're paler than when you left, your face more pinched. Maria notices this when you exit the airport and approach the car dragging your suitcase behind you.

"Missed you. Ready to go?"

You nod, letting her embrace you. She knows not to ask anything about your trip. You made that clear on the phone earlier then week.

She drives you through the nearest Tacodeli to get a breakfast taco, something you've been craving all month. Something you can't get back in Chicago.

You think about returning to work. It seems impossible. Everything seems impossible.

You swallow your breakfast thoughtfully, your eyes going to Maria driving solemnly.

"How are things with Tommy?"

"Good," Maria replies in a voice that sounds tight. You make a mental note to touch on that later.

"Frank and Bill still adorable as fuck?"

Maria relaxes at this and starts giggling. "Frank wants to plan this big Valentine's getaway and Bill's nagging him about budgeting. Says they spent enough on their Christmas party."

"Valentine's?" Your brows furrows as you observe the rapid passing of time. "Wow I didn't realize how..."

You trail off, biting into your taco and watching the passing scenery. You tilt your head back against the seat, your heart hammering as you think of the next topic you want to touch on but can't.

Joel.

When you get home Maria orders you to change into the pyjamas she gives you before joining her upstairs. You do so, leaving your suitcase on the bed before opening the bag she gave you to see candy cane nightgown. You laugh, pulling it on and entering into her place smiling widely.

She's decked the entire living room out to look like Christmas. The artificial tree in your place has been brought upstairs, along with all the twinkle lights.

Maria is wearing a gingerbread man robe and she laughs at your reaction, bringing you over a hot cocoa.

'Maria," you say motioning to the room. "What the fuck-"

"You missed Christmas!"

She sits you down cross legged on the sofa before bringing out a large armful of gifts.

"You still have presents, to open," Maria says dumping the lot into your lap. She sits back in her chair sipping her warm drink and looking on at you like a proud mother on Christmas morning.

You laugh again before you start tearing into your gifts. A sweater you’d been eyeing and a biography on Jane Goodall. Both from Maria and both perfect.

There at the bottom of the pile is a rectangular box. You're curious as there's no name on the outside, no card. Maria eyes it curiously as you tear the paper open, pausing as you see its contents: two photo frames.

You feel a ragged breath escape you as you bring the frame out of the box, your fingers trembling.

It's the photo of you and your parents. The one from your fifth birthday where your arms are hooked around their necks. The one ruined in the flood, the one you thought you'd lost forever.

You glance up at Maria's tensed face.

"Is this from you?"

Maria shakes her head. "Uh, Joel actually asked me to get the photos for you. I called your mom and she had copies."

You stare at the photo, your fingers tracing your youthful face behind the glass. You reach in the box to grab the second frame and are not surprised to see the blurry photo of Pongo you thought was gone forever.

Your eyes are wet, so filled with tears that when you blink they spill over your warm cheeks effortlessly.

"When?"

"Back in September I think? Right after the flood," Maria says as you sniffle. "He asked me not to tell you in case I couldn’t get the photos. Think he said he made the frames himself. Tommy says he likes to wood carve."

He'd done this month's before. Back when you were convinced he still hated you. He'd spent time making the beautifully carved frames for two photos you said meant so much to you.

"He said he didn't get me anything," you say in a quiet voice.

Your fingertips are slipping along the wood frame of the photo. Little details have been carved into them. Flowers and hearts for your Mom and Dad. Little butterflies and paw prints for Pongo.

Hours later after the presents have been opened and Maria has forced you to eat the expansive holiday meal that has you feeling sated but bloated. When the sun has set and you feel yourself getting drowsy you take your gifts and go back downstairs.

You put the photos on your fireplace mantle. They’re beautiful there.

Then you crawl into bed, pulling the covers over you.

It's a week and several forced meals and showers from Maria later that you emerge from your cocoon ready to face the world again.

You know who you want to contact first.

///

The thing is your last meeting with Joel is kinda blurry. Obviously the night before had been the the sexiest you've ever experienced in your entire life. Joel's face when you told him you needed him in your mouth will be forever etched in the deepest recesses of your brain.

It's just the next morning that you can't recall. You'd been so tired, so distracted. You know he'd come to get you for breakfast and that you'd told him you couldn't make it.

But that's all. You hadn't even waited for his reply before your mind had been distracted by thoughts of plane rides and taxis and you'd started closing the door.

His messages in the following weeks had been devastating. Apologizing for not waiting. His voice rough with emotion as he begged you to call him back.

The thing is you'd felt no anger towards Joel. Not at all. Him leaving so abruptly had significantly lessened your burden that day. You'd wanted to be alone.

Before Joel you had Paul and before Paul you'd had yourself. You'd never been able to count on men. And you're confused why Joel carries this heavy burden, as if he thinks he was supposed to come in and chase away your demons.

You never wanted him for that.

You wanted him because in the darkest of days he's the sun.

But now you know that you just have to call him. You tell yourself you don’t have to tell him everything that happened. But you do need to speak to him. He deserves some sort of an explanation.

"Hello?"

After so many weeks of not talking to Joel, just the familiar rumble of his voice causes your insides to melt. Neediness travels through your veins at the first sound of Joel's low rasp.

You'd thought this was a good idea. A way to phone and explain yourself. But now? Now it seems like the worst thing you could have done. You should have done this in person. You should have done in when you could have held his hand in yours.

"Uh, hi," you say suddenly anxious. "How are-"

"What do you need?"

Joel's voice is quiet but sharp, stabbing into your ear.

You hadn't been expecting that. Maybe you were naive, but you'd thought that maybe he'd be kind. Soft and gentle like the Joel you know.

But of course he's upset. Wouldn't you be? From his perspective you'd promised not to run and then done exactly that. Even if you had a good reason, even if. . .

Suddenly there's the sound of Sarah in the background and cutlery being placed on the table and you feel your breath leave you.

Sarah.

Your sweet, little bug.

Your heart pangs at the sound of her little giggles. You want to be there in the house, hugging her, kissing Joel. You want to be back in their universe. You want that comfort, that security. You want the warmth of being with the Millers.

But in order to do that you need to be honest with Joel. You need to tell him everything even if it hurts. You can trust him. You can tell him.

"I know it's been a while since we spoke."

Silence. His disinterest is palpable, so much so that you're shocked he answered the phone in the first place.

"I just wanted to explain what happened."

"Not necessary."

You feel as if you've been slapped across the face. The brutality in how he's speaking feels physical.

"Joel, I just-"

"Are you wanting dessert?"

You feel your stomach bottoming out at the sound of a woman's voice on the other end of the line. Her voice is husky and warm and it sounds like the tone of woman comfortable in her surroundings.

And you know in that moment that it’s too late.

You’re too late.

"Yep, just finishing up here," Joel calls back. There's a pause and you can almost feel his jaw flexing through the phone. "Anything else?"

Disappointment isn't even close to how you feel right now. You close your eyes and feel your chin tremble.

"Nope," you say quietly shaking your head. "That's everything."

"Bye."

///

Alex is elated to have you back at work. She’s not a demonstrative person by any means, but when you come into the office your first day back with a package of VooDoo Donuts as thanks for her hard work, she wraps you in a tight hug and welcomes you back.

You settle into your office, hanging your jacket and your eyes draw outside to the kennels. They’re built. They look stunning and sturdy and Alex tells you they’ve been able to be used in the time you’ve been gone.

Joel will have no need to come back here. His job is done. Another way he is slowly being pulled out of your world.

When you’re settled in for the day Alex comes into your office and drops a sheet of paper on your desk. She’s smiling widely, almost bouncing on her heels. You read it over twice before the news hits you.

The sanctuary has been approved. The grant is coming your way.

For the first time in weeks, you feel true, untarnished joy.

///

You and Maria are both on your sofa and holding magazines on your laps. This is one tradition that you've never lost over years, the catch up over wine and magazines.

You like the ones on fashion and movies, Maria likes ones like architectural digest and celebrity gossip. Normally you share the articles that catch your interest, but tonight Maria is withdrawn. You sensed it the moment she came into your suite laden with magazines.

You watch Maria perched on the end of the sofa, her legs curled up underneath her. She's biting the skin around her fingernails, a classic sign that something is wrong and when you prompt her, she turns her large eyes on you and you can see they are filled with tears.

"I'm worried Tommy's cheating on me."

You weren't prepared for that to come out of her mouth. You place your wineglass on the coffee table and fix her with a look you hope conveys your disbelief.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"He's so busy I never see him and when I do he's so . . . Distracted." Maria sighs heavily. "And he's getting secretive."

This catches your attention and not in a good way. Secretive is not the kind of word you want to hear in a relationship.

"Like how?"

"I asked him where he was last Friday because he was late picking me up from one of the showings. He told me he had a real long meeting at the Bison. But then I'm having coffee with my real estate friend Melanie on Sunday and she says she saw Tommy that same day in Cedar Park."

"Was he with anyone?"

"Mel says he was with some woman that she didn’t recognize.”

“It was probably a meeting for the company.”

“If it was then why lie about where he was?”

You've never seen Maria like this. She doesn't get like this over men. She's the one to break things off at the first sign of trepidation. With Tommy and Joel's company doing so well she has been seeing less and less of him and it's obviously taking a toll.

“Tommy is not like that,” you insist, even thought your stomach wobbles. “I see how he is with you. How he looks at you. He’s fucking crazy about you.”

Maria shrugs.

"I’m sure the woman he was meeting with was a client. And he hasn’t been around as much because he's busy with that new army base project," you say patiently. "And you know Tommy and Joel, they're meticulous. They take their time doing everything perfectly. He's probably just so focused on the project now that he can't think of anything else."

Oh yes, the Miller boys take their time. You know from experience with the elder Miller.

Stop it.

"You're probably right," Maria says but you can tell she doesn't believe you. You want to press it but you don't. Maria knows she can come to you when she's ready. You stand up and go to your record player, popping on one of your favorite vinyls and plopping back onto the sofa.

Her mood has lifted slightly and she points out a kitchen she’s inspired by. You listen but your mind is far away on Rancher Lane.

Joel.

Fuck, you wish you could stop thinking about him. But now that you've known him in this carnal capacity it seems impossible to go back. You think about his broad shoulders, the way his mouth felt against yours. So soft and warm.

During your time away a few things had become apparent to you and one of those had been that being with Sarah and Joel made you feel contented. Not just when you're watching Sarah, but also in those quiet moments when the three of you are curled up on the sofa watching TV, the laughter over the dinner table, the feel of Joel watching you from the doorframe as you tuck Sarah in.

And you've fucked it up.

You ran and you cut yourself off. The clear indication that you weren't interested. He shared the most vulnerable side of himself and you ran. You ran after promising you wouldn't.

Yes, you can blame some of it on the circumstances, but how many times had you looked at the phone and thought of calling Joel only to chicken out? How many times with a tear-streaked face and heavy heart had you reached for the phone as he called only to turn it off?

And now it's too late. You're too late you just know it. You fucked up everything.

Maria watches you go back to your magazine for several moments. She rests her head on her palm as she regards you.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Joel?"

She sees the way your eyes widen as they follow the page.

"Nothing happened, Maria," you say with a heavy sigh.

You can tell Maria most things, but this is a topic that you just want to ignore.

"I know something happened with you two," Maria challenges and all of a sudden you can see her how she must be at work. All business, her face flat.

"Nothing did," you lie. "What are you talking about?"

You're pissed off. You have no desire to share what happened. You're humiliated at how you handled everything and going over it is just going to make the ache stronger.

"That night when Joel came up to you at the party. He looked so upset."

"Yeah I remember.”

"So what did he say?" Maria is leaning forward on her elbows. "Because he asked Tommy to take Sarah home. I was there with Tommy when Joel got home later that night. He was fucking elated. Couldn't stop smiling even when Tommy told him he looked psychotic."

Your heart thumps painfully. Joel was happy about you two. Happy about what was hoping to happen next and you fucked it up.

You always fuck everything up.

"Maria I don't want to talk about Joel anymore."

"But-"

"I'm serious," you say. Your tone is harsh, much harsher tone than you have ever used with her. "I've had a horrible couple of weeks and I'm tired of everyone assuming there's something there between Joel and I. There's nothing there. We're barely even friends."

Maria falls silent, adjusting to this information. You can tell she doesn't believe you at first but there's such sincerity to your tone that she's not sure.

"I have nothing against Joel," you say with finality. "I love babysitting Sarah. But that's it. That's all that'll ever be."

///

It's Wednesday night and you and Alex have decided to go for dinner after work. Alex wants to see more of the places that the locals eat at. You decide on a Mexican place nearby, assuring her it’s the most authentic you've ever tasted.

You both order drinks, chatting animatedly about the sanctuary when you

Tommy is sitting with a woman around his age. She's very expensive looking and she smiles toothily at Tommy as he speaks excitedly. They’re sitting close to each other, their shoulders almost touching. At the sight of this you feel ever nerve ending in your body pulled tight.

“Gimme a sec,” you mumble to Alex. “I just saw a friend I need to talk to.”

You and Tommy, while peripheral friends, have never talked much or even hung out independently of Maria. So it’s no surprise that as you near his table the first niggles of self doubt touch you.

Maybe it’s all a mistake? A misunderstanding?

Then the woman excuses herself from the table just as you arrive, giving you the perfect moment to strike and so you propel yourself forward. Without ceremony you toss yourself into the recently vacated seat across from a shocked Tommy Miller.

“I suggest the tamales here,” you say coolly. “They’re great for sharing.”

Tommy looks terrified. His eyes have gone wide. He has papers on the table that he shuffles under his arm.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Better question is what are you doing here with her?" You point in the direction of the woman who has just exited the table.

"It's a meeting about a construction job," Tommy says but you can see the lie in it. "So do you mind-"

You lean forward across the table, your chest almost knocking over the Margarita at Tommy’s elbow.

"If you are screwing around on Maria, Tommy, I will personally see to it that you live the rest of your days as a dick-less wonder. People will come from miles around just to view you and laugh."

Tommy is staring at you open-mouthed. You realize Tommy and you have never been particularly close. He doesn’t know this side to you. The side that will fight and protect with all she has.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Tommy’s tone is strong but his dark eyes are owlish in his face.

“If you hurt Maria Tommy I swear on all that is holy, I will tear your life apart brick by brick. I will spend every waking moment of the remainder of my life finding out new ways to cause you pain.”

“I would never hurt her,” Tommy insists, looking both agitated and terrified as he sees the woman exiting back from the washroom. “I promise I’ll explain everything to you later. But right now please go before she gets back."

“Why?”

“I can’t-“ Tommy flounders, trying to find the right words. “It’s just, you gotta go.”

"Oh yeah, wouldn't want to spoil your date,” you say with a sneer before picking up the margarita his date has left. “You absolute piece of shit."

You throw the drink it into his face like something out of a bad sitcom. Tommy stares at you covered in pale yellow drink, bits of salt sticking to his cheeks. A lime wedge flops comically onto the table between you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Tommy’s face has erupted into fury. You go to lunge for him but Alex has you around the middle and she's tugging you back. Tommy’s date has returned, looking between you and Tommy in shock.

"What on earth?" The woman is watching you being dragged away from the table.

Alex practically carries you out of the restaurant, not letting you go until you’re both buckled into her car. When your heavy breathing has subsided she starts the car, not offering anything but a pointed look and:

“I think you need some new friends.”

///

When you receive a knock on your door later that night you don't expect a Miller man to be standing there.

Unfortunately it's not the right Miller man.

It's Tommy looking anxious as he greets you. You glare at him, angry and then confused by his presence at your door. He doesn’t smell like margarita so you assume he had a shower at home first.

"Can we talk?"

You consider your next moves. Do you punch him in the face? No, you need all the information. Then if it's as awful as you think it is, then you'll punch him in the face.

Good plan.

"Fine. Come in."

You motion to the table, quickly shuffling your paperwork off the chair nearest to him so he can sit. You've just made yourself a cup of tea and offer him one which shakes his head at.

“Don’t really trust you with a drink in your hand,” he cites with a small smirk. “’Specially not a hot one.”

You don’t say anything to that. When you eventually take the seat across from him he stares at you for what seems like forever. The kind of stare that has a million questions behind it.

"Tommy what the fuck is going on?" You press him. "Are you cheating on Maria?"

Tommy immediately blanches, almost spilling your tea. "W-what? No. Never. I love her!"

"Because you'll never do better than Maria," you begin to rant. "she's the most perfect most beautiful woman in existence!"

"I know!"

"She's not just beautiful she's also wickedly smart and if she wanted she could be president, Tommy. Not vice president. Not secretary of state. President.”

"I agree. Everything you said is true."

"Then who was that woman? Why were you being so secretive?"

Tommy gives you a hard look, his lips pressed together in a thin line. He gives a glance around the kitchen as if expecting spies before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small velvet box.

"Please don't say anything," Tommy drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper as he cracks the ring box open. "I'm proposing."

Anxieties about everything are erased the minute you look to the ring box. Inside is a delicately carved gold band and diamond. It's elegant and no nonsense, just like Maria.

"The woman-"

"A friend from an old job," Tommy assures you, looking down at the ring proudly. "Maria always wanted an heirloom ring. You know how she feels about blood diamonds. But it was hard to find a good one. Then Joel suggested Betty, that's her name, she works in vintage jewellery. Took months of going back and forth before we found this one."

You feel so fucking stupid. "That's why you were in Cedar Park?”

"How did you know that?"

"Friend of a friend," you say with a sigh. He doesn't need to know that friend was Maria.

“Betty had a lead on a really good piece,” Tommy says with a sigh. “She said I needed to come out to Cedar Park to see it and decide that day because there was another interested buyer. Waste of a fucking drive though ‘cuz it was hideous. Not Maria’s taste at all.”

You look at the ring he decided on, seeing that even in this small token he sees Maria.

"Tommy I'm so sorry."

Tommy's eyes are amused. "Good to know she's got Mike Tyson in her corner. Well, Mike Tyson if he was a bartender."

You move from around the table and throw your arms around Tommy's neck, hugging him and laughing. Every angry thought you'd ever had about him is instantly erased. He gives you a one-armed hug back, laughing along with you.

"Oh my God!" You shout as you pull back. "When? Where?"

"Valentine's Day. It's the only way I can surprise her. She thinks we're going out for a romantic dinner and dancing."

You're swooning, knowing just how Maria is going to react. And now Maria's panic over her "distracted" boyfriend make total sense. You want to laugh and cry all at once, so you decide on smiling with tears in your eyes.

"She's gonna be so happy."

"Sure hope so," Tommy says smiling shyly. "But I need your help to pull out off."

"Me?" You're surprised and delighted. "Of course. Anything you need, just ask."

"Great, is there any chance you're around on Saturday night? It's why I came over."

Tommy smiles over at you looking hopeful. Saturday is Valentine's Day. A day you've been dreading since Paul broke things off last spring and Joel stomped all over your heart.

You had plans that involved a bath, a big glass of wine and discounted chocolate. But of course this plan will be moved happily for your dearest friend and her future fiancé.

"Sure, what for?"

"I need you to babysit Sarah."

The smile immediately dies on your face. You lean back in your chair, your eyes drifting to your mug.

" Is Joel helping you propose or something?"

"No, he’s just busy that night."

Of course Joel would take a meeting on Valentine's Day night. You give a half-hearted chuckle at the thought.

"Did you tell him you're proposing? Can't he just cancel his meeting that night? Who meets on Valentine's anyway?"

"It's not a meeting," Tommy says, still smiling at the ring box. "It's a date."

The world tilts. You physically feel it spin on its axis as Tommy tells you this. The woman you heard on the phone. You were right. You were fucking right. That horrible pit in your stomach, the one you’ve been trying to ignore, widens.

"A date?" You say before you can stop yourself. "Joel?"

Tommy gives a quirked brow at your response. "Yeah. Some mom of a kid Sarah has play dates with all the time."

The twist in your gut takes your breath away. You feel cold and shaky and have to sit down. Tommy is so wrapped up in his dilemma that he doesn't notice.

You know who he's talking about. Fuck, you've even seen her. You can't remember the name right now but you remember the way she'd smiled at Joel when he came to pick Sarah up. You can vividly recall the casual way her hand had brushed against the small of his back.

Tess. Yes that was her name.

"They've been going out a few weeks and this kinda stuff is important to him," Tommy explains with a soft look as he pockets the ring. "Joel has always done everything for me. Sacrificed everything when our mom got sick. Bailed me out when things got too much. I think he really likes Tess and I don't wanna fuck it up for him."

I think he really likes Tess.

Really likes Tess.

Jesus Christ that's like a blow to the sternum. You place a steadying hand to the table.

Tommy takes a seat across from you, his dark eyes filled with concern.

"You okay? If you're not feeling well please don't feel pressured. If you can't babysit I'll just reschedule, it's -"

His voice fades into the background as you think of your friend. Maria has done so much for you and she deserves the world.

One awkward evening, that's all it is. And you'll get to see Sarah. Plus your best friend will be getting engaged. How can you possibly say no?

You can't.

"Of course I'll babysit," you interrupt with a croak. "What time should I be there?"

///

Later that night as you lay curled in bed sobbing you hear the gentle chirp of your phone.

You sniff as you flip it open and bring it up to your face.

Any chance u wanna get together for coffee? Chat?

You pause, looking at the text before closing the phone.

You don’t delete it.

/////

Joel doesn't know how to function this week.

You called him finally, after weeks and weeks of silence. Just the sound of your voice had made his knees tremble. He'd had to reach for the kitchen counter, holding himself upright.

When later that week Tommy tells him about his engagement plans and having you babysit Sarah, Joel initially balks at the idea. He'll reschedule with Tess - she's a practical woman, she'll understand.

But Tommy had been insistent, telling Joel he didn't want to fuck this up for him. Tommy is so rarely earnest like that it had made Joel relent.

And now you're coming tomorrow and he's what? Supposed to act like everything is fine?

Fuck that.

Sarah is asleep and Joel has been drinking. He does that more often now. Not enough to be a real concern, but enough that he notices. He calls you without pausing to check if it's too late to call. You answer on the first ring.

“Hello?”

"Hey."

Joel closes his eyes, a wide hand going over them. Your voice is so sweet in his ear. "Hey I’m sorry if I was a bit short when you called the other day. You surprised me is all and I had company over."

"Oh. Okay."

You sound so sad. He can imagine you sitting in bed, covers around you as he talks.

“Glad you got home safe,” Joel offers awkwardly, wondering how he thought this conversation could ever go smoothly.

“Yeah, it’s good to be back.”

"Why didn't you call me? I left so many-" Joel catches himself, embarrassment covering him before he’s compelled to continue. "Is it your dad? Your mom? Or was it something else? Paul?”

Joel can't stop himself from asking more and more questions. He needs to know why you did this. He just needs closure. He hears your breathing on the line, shallow and tense.

"I really don't want to talk about it Joel," you eventually say and that hollow, empty voice is back. The same one he'd heard that day he came to get you for breakfast.

"Right."

Joel knows there are tears gathering at the corner of his eyes and he blinks them back. As much as he wants to talk to you right now, it hurts. Too much trust has been dismantled on both sides.

Sarah's anxious face when she asked where you were? He can't have that for his daughter. He can't risk everything on a woman who'll run and leave nothing but silence in her wake.

Maybe if he was a young, childless bachelor he'd do it. He'd pursue you and convince you to tell him everything, to confide in him. But he's not young or childless. And you’re not telling him.

"I had my reasons, I just never told you what they were," you continue with a tremble in your voice.

"Why?"

“It’s my choice to tell people things when I want to tell them. And I wasn’t ready. Still don’t think I am.”

He wants to push it. He wants to be in that room with you, his hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look at him. Forcing you to tell him what you’re hiding from him. He thinks he knows and it makes him sick. But he needs the confirmation.

"Joel, it's not supposed to be this hard, is it?"

"What isn’t?" Joel's stomach clenches when he hears your shuddering breath.

"Being together."

Initially Joel doesn't know what to say to that. “We're we really ever together?"

There's a thoughtful pause and then your sad little voice again.

"No. Guess not."

Joel feels absolutely sickened by this entire conversation. He didn't know what he'd expected when he called you, but it definitely wasn't this. This grim finality.

"I think I hoped if I just came back that things'd go back to how they were," you're saying in a voice no longer hollow, but still not completely you. "But I guess they can't."

"No," Joel acknowledges quietly. "I guess they can't."

"But maybe we can try friendship?"

A stab to the abdomen would have hurt Joel less. He physically recoils, his eyes slamming shut.

Friendship? He’s supposed to go back to being your friend?

"I don't know," Joel answers through closed eyes. "I don't know if I can. Not quite yet."

Joel evens his breathing, knowing that there’s nothing else to say to save the two of you but dreading the act of hanging up, of severing the final tie. Then your voice reaches out to him, tentative across the line.

"Can I still see Sarah? Can I still babysit tomorrow night?"

Joel is quiet for a long while considering.

"Yeah. Sarah would love to see you."

//////

Saturday night arrives and with it a bundle of nerves you can't seem to shake.

Rancher Street.

The bus lurches to a stop and you hasten an exit, pulling your purse up your shoulder. The door seems larger than you remember. Taller. When you knock it feels like it echoes forever. The door opens with a quick whoosh and you hold your breath as two familiar dark eyes slide into view.

Joel.

You see the flash of something in those eyes, something warm as they sweep over you before the chill is abruptly back.

"C'mon in," he says, the tone of his voice unreadable.

He's painfully gorgeous. There's no other word for it. His hair is combed, his shirt freshly pressed. He smells like cologne, an expensive, spicy scent. It makes you want to bury your face in his neck.

He never usually wears cologne. He usually smells like wood shavings and laundry detergent.

The knowledge that he's wearing it for her, Tess, makes you want to heave.

Tess. What a stupid fucking name.

You follow Joel into the kitchen and feel your stomach drop. On the counter is a bouquet of deep red roses wrapped beautifully. You don't have to be a genius to figure out these ones are for Tess. He's pulled out all the stops for her.

It wasn't so long ago Joel was bringing you flowers.

He's not even wearing jeans tonight; he's actually got dark slacks on for this date. He looks so fucking good, so divine, it causes you to physically ache. You remember how his curls felt under your fingers, the taste of his lips on yours. You want to kick yourself for fucking this up.

"Work been good?" Joel asks with his eyes on the clock.

"Yeah, just busy," you offer feeling awkward. "Got a meeting with the city next month about the sanctuary. Looks like we got the funding."

"That's good."

"Mhmm."

You could cry over how awful this interaction is. How stilted and awkward the two of you look and sound standing across from one another in the kitchen.

Grateful doesn't even touch on how you feel when Sarah suddenly skids into the kitchen. She screeches, throwing her arms around your waist tightly until you give a small "oof". You curl, hugging her gently.

"How have you grown so much?" You ask in awe, shocked that not even two months could make such a difference. You could swear she looks taller.

"I got a My Little Pony for Christmas," she announces, not caring to answer your question. "You wanna see?"

"Sure."

She goes to her seat at the table and pulls out the pink and purple pony before announcing: "I named it after you."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I missed you."

Sarah is smiling up at you in a way that brings tears to your eyes. You blink them back, cupping her cheek with your hand.

“I missed you too, bug.”

After everything this is one of your biggest regrets. Your isolation from everyone included Sarah, the sweetest child to walk the planet.

You had forgotten Joel was still there, watching you both until you hear him clear his throat.

"I'll be back around midnight. Emergency numbers are by the phone, like usual. Pizza should be here pretty soon."

"Okay."

Sarah clamours up on the chair, sliding into the booster seat with your help. You smile down at her, chatting away to her pony. In your peripherals you watch Joel pull on his jacket and grab the bouquet of flowers from the counter.

In another life maybe those would have been for you.

In another life maybe it could have worked between you two.

You hear him walk towards you along with the crinkling of the cellophane wrapped flowers. He comes to stand next to your seated form. He's so close you could tilt your head and rest it on his hip.

You smile as you see his hands come into view, watching as he passes one of the roses to Sarah by the stem, making sure to strip it of it thorns first.

"Happy Valentine's Day, babygirl," he says with a kiss to the top of her head. Sarah takes the flower gleefully, pressing the lush petals to her nose and inhaling.

"Okay daddy, you can leave now," Sarah tells him calmly. You laugh at her bluntness and catch Joel's dimpled smile in response.

"Guess now that your best friend is here again, poor ol' dad's just second fiddle," Joel says with an exaggerated frown as he motions to you.

"It's not your fault," you assure him as you smooth Sarah's hair with your hands. "I'm just that wonderful. Right, Sarah?"

"Right."

She really is just the best kid.

Joel doesn't reply to that, but then again you never expected him to. The tension from before seems to be ebbing, it's almost like things are slowly going back to how they were before.

This is good. This means there’s hope.

Joel watches you stand and move across the kitchen. You go to pull down some plates for the pizza from the cupboard. When you turn to go back to the table you're surprised to see Joel is still standing there looking at you.

You feel your heart picking up its tempo. But then his phone buzzes on his hip and you know without asking that it’s Tess messaging him. Immediately you feel your heart retreat from your gaze and you force a smile.

"Have fun tonight."

Joel nods, presses one more kiss to Sarah's head and then he's gone out the door. You hear his truck rumbling away and only then do you breathe normally again.

The pizza arrives shortly after and you inform Sarah that if she's really good and eats the salad that came with it, she can eat dessert in front of the TV later on. She is very amenable to this suggestion.

"Daddy is seeing Miss Tess," Sarah tells you as she takes a bite of her cheesy slice. “She was here before.”

He's already brought her into this home?

Of course she has you moron. She's seen Daniel and Tess at school how many times? How many play dates?

"Daniel's mommy," Sarah says in a hushed voice, frowning when you don’t reply. You feel your stomach bottoming out at this. Your eyes widen before you school your features, staring at the oblivious girl opposite you.

"Does Miss Tess come here a lot?"

Sarah ignores your question and instead starts babbling about something happening with Daniel's hamster, Zippy. You hold back the desire to keep peppering her with questions.

However she continues to drop little hints throughout your evening together. The next one comes when you're in the kitchen washing up from dinner. Sarah sits at the counter with her paper and crayons making some elaborate hearts on the page. A Valentine for her dad, she tells you later.

"That's the cup Miss Tess used," Sarah says pointing to the oversized green mug you're soaping. Joel's favorite mug.

It takes everything in you not to smash the thing into pieces. Two months ago he had his mouth between your legs, now he's bringing some new woman here?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"What's Miss Tess like?" You ask, trying to sound casual as you wash the dishes in the sink.

"Tall."

That's all you get from her for now. She continues coloring and you continue doing the dishes in silence. You catch your reflection in the dark window in front of you and are shocked at how devastated you look.

It was just a night. A night of pleasure. You didn't make lifelong promises to one another. You admitted mutual attraction and need, that's all. And even if it's not all from your side of things, Joel has clearly moved on. And you can’t be mad at him for doing so.

When you finish up, Sarah is putting the last finishing touches to her card before gripping it in her tiny hand and holding it out to you.

"You have to give this to Daddy when he gets home. It's my Valentine for him."

You look at the little pink envelope covered in Snoopy stickers and smile. You take it from her, seeing her uneven printing on the front. Love. That's all it says. You smile fondly at her. You idly wonder if she’s too young for a ‘romantic love is an illusion’ conversation.

"I think you should give it to him when you wake up tomorrow," you offer.

"No." Sarah looks uncharacteristically agitated. "It can't be tomorrow. Tomorrow isn't Valentine's Day."

You give a sharp nod, making your face solemn to convey you understand the gravity of delivering this missive.

"I see."

"Promise me you'll give the card to my Daddy tonight?"

"I will."

"Promise," she says holding up a tiny pinky in your direction. "A real promise."

You hook your pinky around her tiny digit and shake, smiling. "I promise, Sarah."

"Good."

The next 'Miss Tess' tidbit comes as you're putting Sarah to bed. She's watching you rifle through the books on her shelf.

"Miss Tess has light hair. Lighter than yours."

"Hmm," you say bringing a few book over to her bed. "Wind and the Willows again or Charlotte's Web?"

You decide that you don't want to hear anything more about 'Miss Tess'. In fact you don't want to hear anything more about Joel or whomever he decides to date ever again.

You have to close your heart to him or this will be the last time you'll see Sarah. The last time you'll read to her, last time you'll laugh with her.

It'll be the last time you can join Maria and Tommy at theirs for a party that the whole family is invited to.

It'll be the last time you can venture upstairs to Maria's without fear that Joel might decide to drop by.

Because you have no right to be upset. You don't. You kissed him, let him make you come and then ignored him for almost two months. What was he supposed to do? Know the crazy inner workings of your fucked up brain? Know the sordid story of your horrible life?

No. You need to be happy for him and for Sarah. If this Tess woman is as great as everyone makes it seem, then you have to be happy for Joel and Sarah.

You have to.

"I missed you reading," Sarah tells you when you bring the blanket up to her chin, tucking her in an hour or so later. "I like it when you read best 'cuz you do the voices right."

You try not to feel unnecessarily smug about that.

You tuck her in, feeling distracted as you press a quick kiss to her forehead. She can sense that the nighttime routine is coming to a close because her tiny hand reaches out to grab your sweater.

"Say 'goodnight, bug'" she prompts you.

"Goodnight bug," you say pressing another peck to her forehead. "Get some sleep."

Sarah nods, closing her eyes and rolling on her side. You can hear her murmur something to toad and you smile as you close her bedroom door.

You walk down the creaking hallway, ready to walk down and watch TV. But as you pass Joel's room and you see his door is ajar you pause.

Joel's room. You remember how in awe you had been the first time you saw it. How surprised by every detail. Now in the dark of night it seems alluring and seductive. It beckons you to explore, to touch.

You draw over to it, your hand moving independent of your brain to pull the door completely open before stepping inside and closing the door tightly behind you.

The first time you’d seen his room there had been lotion on beside table, a horse picture above the bed. Now the lotion is gone, the side of his table cleaned. The horse picture is still there though, calling out for all weary travelers.

You step in further, your eyes going over the books on his shelves, the fan that hasn’t been used since the summer. You trace your hand along the exercise bike in the far corner, a towel draped over it. Does he use it?

You sit on the edge of his bed, pulling open the drawer next to it. You think you might see something interesting inside. Your curiosity is peaked. It opens with ease and it takes you a full moment to realize what you’re looking at.

It’s the guitar strap and pick you got him for Christmas.

This sight causes you to leap to a standing position. Joel kept the gift? He must have picked it up when you weren’t looking, dazed on the sofa. But he kept it? Still? Why is it hidden away?

You don’t want to think about that for too long. Maybe he’s hidden it because Tess will ask him where he got it. He doesn’t want her to see it. He wants to pretend you never existed to him.

You stop. You’re hurting your own feelings.

You see one of Joel's t-shirts hanging over the dresser. He'd obviously tried on a few before deciding on the linen one for tonight.

He made the right choice, you acknowledge. He'd looked amazing tonight. Memories of how good he'd looked are making your lower abdomen flip pleasurably. A depraved need washes over you.

You feel as if you're watching yourself from outside your body as you lock Joel's door before striding back across the room.

"Stop," you murmur to yourself even as you lower yourself onto his recently made bed. It's surprisingly soft.

You settle back against the pillow, your hands on either side of you like you're in a plush coffin.

He's touched himself in this bed, you just know it. You can picture his work wide hands stroking himself to completion. A man like Joel feels deeply, works hard and has needs.

Fuck you want to be the one to sate those needs and you never will be. But you don't let your thoughts linger there. You want to enjoy this stolen moment.

You turn your head on the pillow, your eyes sliding shut as you inhale. It smells masculine, deep and musky mingling with the scent of his shampoo and laundry detergent.

It smells like Joel.

And that is what makes it impossible to stop. Because when you close your eyes you can almost imagine he's there with you. You can imagine that he came back the next day after the party and everything was fine. You can imagine that he’d backed you into your place and fucked you there on the floor, the both of you too desperate for each other to make it to the bed.

Your fingers are fumbling with the button and zipper of your jeans before your hand is thrust under your panties in a fervor.

Flashes of memory and fantasy intersect, bursting in searing snapshots into your mind. Joel's hands on either side of your face as he kisses you. His mouth on your neck as he fucks you in this very bed. His brows knitted together as you suck his cock. His tongue skating over your nipples. The feel of his soft mouth on your twitching core.

This is so fucked up. You know this, you're so painfully aware of how fucked up this is. And yet you can't stop yourself from thrusting into your hand, from murmuring his name over and over. You whimper his name like an oath, a desperate, needful prayer as you feel his phantom touch.

All at once the memory of Joel's head between your thighs assaults you and you see stars.

Your head is thrown back as you come, your moans muffled by the hand you've sealed over your mouth. When your hips finally stutter to a stop the shame hits you like a slap in the face.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You readjust your jeans, throwing yourself from the bed with a yelp. You rush to the bathroom, washing your trembling hands. You can't even look at your reflection right now because you know what you'll see. Cheeks stained with humiliation, shame clear in your features and overwhelming regret in your eyes.

You go downstairs and force yourself to watch bad TV. You have it on quietly and even though you try to focus on what’s happening and why some beautiful woman would be married to some loud-mouthed lout who works as a delivery driver, you can’t.

All you can think about is the passing of time. How late it’s getting. You keep tilting your head to look at the clock hanging by the kitchen. Then your watch because you’re certain the kitchen clock must be moving slowly.

Nope.

Eventually it’s past midnight. Joel had said he would be home at midnight, hadn’t he? You start to feel irritated. You’re here babysitting Joel’s kid and he’s definitely off fucking Tess. You’re certain of it.

Your thoughts don’t linger there long because an ungodly scream has sounded from upstairs. A heart-wrenching scream with your name in it. You nearly trip over your own feet running up the stairs, your heart in your chest. The door to Sarah’s room is yanked open so viciously you’re convinced you pulled it off its hinges.

“Sarah!”

She’s sitting up in bed shuddering and holding toad. She bursts into tears when you rush in, her arms reaching for you as you approached. You throw yourself onto the bed, pulling her tiny frame into your lap. She throws her arms around your neck, her sobs loud in your ear, her face wet with her tears as you rock her back and forth.

“Shh,” you soothe gently. “I’m here, honey. I’m here. You’re safe.”

You rock her like this for several moments, listening as her sobs become hiccups and then finally just ragged breaths as she pulls back from you, looking up at you from your lap.

“Wanna tell me what happened, bug?”

“Someone hurt my Daddy,” Sarah says and you can see the tears starting again. “He was in the forest and someone took him. They hurt him.”

You hold her tightly to you again, making soothing sounds and rubbing her back. “No one’s gonna hurt your Daddy, I promise.”

Time passes and eventually Sarah is calmed enough to climb back into bed. She looks to you with her big eyes, terrified in the dark as you bring the blanket to her chin.

“Will you sing me a song?" Sarah begs. "A nice one."

You give a good natured groan, thinking back to songs you know all the lyrics to. You remember the song Bill sang to Frank that one evening, the sweetness of Bill's reedy voice. You can't remember all the words but you know the tune. You start of at what you remember, tucking Sarah in for the second time that night.

Caught in my fears

Blinking back the tears

I can't say you hurt me

When you never let me near

And I never drew one response from you

All the while you fell all over girls you never knee

"What does that mean?" Sarah interrupts.

"I think it means that the girl singing is in love with a man but he doesn't know she exists," you say trying to piece the song together. "So she's really sad about it."

Sarah nods, her eyes starting to shutter. "Keep going."

You laugh, trying to remember your place. You hum a few bars, trying to recall where you left off.

Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And I think I'm gonna miss you

For a long long time

You really go for it, your voice clear and strong. As you sing your fingers trail over Sarah's forehead, lulling her to sleep.

Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And I think I'm gonna love you

For a long long time

Your voice drops to a whisper as you sing the final verse. Sarah's eyes are almost all the way closed.

"Goodnight Sar-"

"Do you love me?"

You're not expecting the way her tiny voice reaches you in the semi darkness. It takes your breath away, tears starting in the corner of your eyes. You swallow the knot that has formed there.

You look down at her little face and feel the answer is so obvious. Has been for months now.

"Yeah," you answer truthfully. "I do."

Sarah smiles widely, gripping your hand in hers with her eyes still shut. "Will you sing the last part one more time?"

Oh she’s a good little manipulator.

"One more time," you insist with a faux grumble. "Then sleep!"

She nods and you sing a very quick very quiet rendition of the last verse before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Deals a deal, bug."

"I like that song," Sarah nods sleepily before craning her neck to look at her bedroom door. "Do you like it, daddy?"

Your breath catches as you jerk your head over your shoulder to see Joel leaning in the doorway of Sarah's room. His arms are crossed over his broad chest. You can't see his eyes, but you know he's looking at you.

"I didn't know you were there," you say feeling your cheeks reddening.

"Didn't want to interrupt," Joel says softly.

"Sarah had a nightmare," you say standing quickly. You feel like you should offer something else but you stand awkwardly instead before you sail past him, heading downstairs. You hope he can't see the pink high in your cheekbones.

Joel enters the kitchen minutes later, his dark gaze focused on you.

You want to ask him how the date went. Obviously they've been seeing each other longer than just tonight if Sarah is anything to go by. How long exactly was it after he kissed you that he fell in with Tess? Tommy didn't say. Have they slept together yet? Has he said the same things to Tess as he said to you as he worked his mouth between her legs?

Doesn't matter. Not your business.

"She was really good tonight," you tell him as you look for your jacket, locating it in the kitchen. Your eyes fall on the pink envelope from earlier.

"Before I forget, this is for you," you say sliding the thick Valentine card to him across the kitchen counter. "Sarah was adamant I give it to you before I left."

Joel looks distracted. He would normally be opening the card to see what his daughter created. But instead he just stares at it on the counter.

When you stop to look at him you notice he actually looks quite pissed off. This confuses you. He reaches into his back pocket to grab his tan leather wallet.

"Are you ok-"

"You can't tell her stuff like that," Joel interrupts gruffly pulling the bills from his wallet.

"What do you mean?"

"That you love her." Joel's eyes finally reach yours when he says it. "She can't have women saying they love her, comin' in and out of her life-"

"Who says that's what I'm doing?" you ask offended.

"It was bad enough with her mother," Joel is ignoring you, talking over you and looking upset.

"I'm not her mother," you defend. You would never do what that woman had done to Sarah.

"Damn right you're not."

His eyes are blazing and for a moment you think this might be the cruellest thing Joel Miller has ever said to you.

He tosses the wrinkled bills at you on the table and you hold back the overwhelming urge to slap him. Instead you clench your jaw, levelling a scorching glare at him.

Joel leans over the counter, his hands braced there. He can't look at you.

You stare him down furiously for a moment longer nonetheless before pulling on your jacket and heading out the door, leaving the money beside the Valentine on the counter.

It's not until you're at home in bed that you allow yourself to cry.

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thegirlwhowatchedeverything · 11 months

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Pete Appreciation Post

Pete and Nat:

As her partner, he not only handles but actually and actively loves her family.

He goes to Al-Anon meetings WITH her (1x2).

He doesn't show up to Christmas empty handed (to steal Carmy's words that'd make him an asshole). He continues to be joyful and make small talk while being ripped to shreds for his attempt at a funny, genuinely considerate tuna casserole (2x6).

One of Nat's biggest traumas (flashback to 2x6 of Donna grabbing her by the face while threatening to kill herself) is juxtaposed with her greatest joy - ending the day with Pete on the couch watching TV (2x8).

Everything Pete does and says in 2x10. I don't even know where to start. Him so beyond proud and supportive and excited and happy for Nat. Him trying to convince Donna to come inside by playing to their shared pride of Nat (and Carm). His reaction after the conversation with Donna. Chris Witaske you talented actor and Pete you beautiful, patient, loving, understanding, forgiving man.

Pete and Carmy:

Pete makes such an effort with him (to steal Mikey's words he gives like the biggest fuck). He genuinely embraces Carmy and wants so desperately to be embraced by Carmy in return:

He brushes/laughs off an unexplained past incident involving Carmy (and presumably Michael) that sent him to urgent care. Very bro siblings roughhousing behavior (1x2).

He lets Carmy use his and Nat's freezer even though he knows she'll be mad at him for it. Very brothers ganging up on their sister/two siblings scheming against the third (which I imagine happened between the Berzatto siblings so much and in so many combinations) (1x5).

He was so hype and adorably complimentary about Carmy's homemade ecto cooler and ugh I wish Carm had given more credit there because they are clearly just both big nerds at heart (1x4).

He defends Carmy for being called a loser at the catered party by bringing up his career as one of the most lauded chefs (as I've said before, he and Syd were the two members of the Chef Carmy club). And he does so in front of a large and intimidating assortment of friends and family (to paraphrase Carmy paraphrasing Marcus we see that Pete can throw down huh). Very protective big brother vibes (1x4).

He then individually compliments Carmy's courage for leaving home and making an incredible career for himself. He also makes a point to tell him that Nat is proud of him. Emotionally supportive brother behavior (1x4).

He thanks Carmy for letting him be a part of his family! It's beyond sweet to say that to your in laws, but when your in laws are the Berzattos (1x4)?!

Pete And The Berzattos:

He still gets ribbed more than not, but at the end of the day he's accepted.

Carmy saying I kind of like Pete now (1x5).

Stevie saying his heart was in the right place after the tuna faux pas (2x5).

Fak saying he'll be a great daddy (2x10).

Donna congratulating Pete about the baby thus signaling her approval (2x10).

Pete Is An Only Child:

I've been convinced since S1 and S2 only confirmed.

The genuine love and effort he puts into each family member (blood, extended, and honorary) of the Berzattos not only shows Pete is truly a nice guy, but it speaks to his deep desire to be a part of a family - to belong (see all examples above).

We learned Richie and Sydney are only children (It must have been nice to have Nat and Carm. Yeah, now you do too. *sobs*) so another proof point that all partners to the Berzatto siblings are onlys.

Stevie. In his speech, he says You guys have been so kind to me. You let me hang out with your every holiday. I don't have a family like this and I'm really grateful you make space for me at this table and you make time for me on the holidays. You can imagine an exact speech coming from Pete. And like Pete, Stevie genuinely loves and gets along with each of the Berzattos (2x6). A last parallel between these two: Donna speculates if he's gay and that is totally something I can imagine her, Mikey or Richie saying about Pete at first meeting.

Something about not knowing Pete's last name or anything about him outside of his relationships with the Berzattos signals to me he's not from a big family and/or is not close to them and really just exists in the Berzatto cinematic universe.

Takeaways:

Pete is the MVP of The Bear. We better get more of him in S3.

The Berzattos attract only children and strays like moths to a flame.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #pete the bear #chris witaske #natalie berzatto #sugar berzatto #nat berzatto #abby elliott #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #jeremy allen white #jamie lee curtis #donna berzatto #the bear season 2 #the bear season 1 #the berzattos #john mulaney

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saphirafoxgirlspost1 · 6 months

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(Open Rp) "A Royal Christmas Prince"

In the Beginning of December at the Lovely And Luxuriously Lodge cabin in the Lovely Cherry blossom Forest, The Young Kitsune Woman Who is a Secret Princess That Lived in that Lodge cabin Is Known as "Princess Saphira Lorraina Fox". The Only reason why She lives in the Lovely Lodge Cabin in the Woods..Is to try to See her "Soon to be Husband" Name "Sheldon James Weasleton" Of the Duke Weasleton Family, That If he is "Worthy" To become a Husband..But On the 3rd day of December, Her Father (Which is the Emperor Name "Mordue Quinn Fox") decided to throw a Lovely Christmas party with His counselors from Different Kingdoms…But When Saphira was looking for her Fiance..She looked around until..She hears something in the Bedroom..Saphira Open the Door and Screaming Bloody Murder Like it came out from the Horror Movies..but what Did she sees In that bedroom, was none-other than her Fiance Sheldon Making Love with One of the Counselors Daughter and Her Father Stormed in with His Colleges of the Counsule..and Said,

Mordue: "What is Going on he-Sees Sheldon with Counselors daughter WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE SMILING DEVIL ARE YOU DOING WITH HER!?"

Sheldon: " Saph!, Sir! I-i-i-it's not what it looks like!?"

Before The Emperor Speaks..Saphira cut in and said,

Saph:"Father..let me handle this.. Turns to sheldon NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!! It Looks like your Sleeping with a Counselors daughter!! and who's daughter is this!?"

Counselor Of England: "It was Mine! SHARON!! What In the Name of Queen Elizabeth Do you think your doing!? Sleeping With the Princess of Sakutopia's Fiance!? Are you Serious!? it's a Scandal, Outrage, Disgusting, and UNACCEPTIBLE!! Turns to Saphira and Bows Sadly I am So so sorry Your Highness…My Idiot Daughter has Done Horrible..Please Forgive me…"

Saph:" Sir..it's not your fault..but it's your daughters..and Now "Sheldons" Fault too"

Sheldon was Shocked and the Father of Sheldon (Which is the Duke) was Appalled when he Sees his Own Son Sleeping with the England Counselors Daughter and He was Furious at him..and He apoligize to saphira…and then She said the same thing..but then..She looked at Sheldon..and she said,

Saph:"Well..I wanted To Know Sheldon.. What Did I do To make you cheating on me with an england Counselors daughter? And How Long was "This" is Going on?, But be warned…It'll be your last…"

She Glared At Sheldon..That Glare made Sheldons Spine frozen Like ice…and then he confessed,

Sheldon:"Ok ok I confessed…You never took care of me….I Loved Sharon..and we've been together for 3 years..and She's pregnant with my kid…and also I wanted to take money and Sharon and I are going to get married in secrets and run away and left saphira high and dry!..I don't love her..i love sharon an- AHH!"

Saphira Smacked Him Furiously…And She began to Tore him into new and Told Sheldon that the Engagement is "OFF" big time and She threw the engagement ring at his face and she said to him,

Saph:"You are No Longer Welcomed to My Home! and YOU are not Worthy to be my Husband..I'm Sorry but I cannot Married To someone WHO would Cheated On me with any Counselors Daughters and Cause a Huge Scandals For Our Royal Reputations!"

Sheldon:" B-b-b-but Saph! please i-i-i'm sorry! it just a mistake! I swear!! I just wanted to ha-"

Saph:"NO Your not! No your not! "THIS" is not a Mistake! "THIS" Is your Choice, And THIS is Proved That YOU Never love me at all! YOU Got that Bitch Pregnant! YOU Love my Own Money! and Now YOU! are taken responsibility For YOUR Illeginimate Whore Child Which I don't Blamed the child For this! but Still!! This ENGAGEMENT IS OFF AND THATS FINAL!! NOW GET OUT!!! OUT!!"

After 15 minutes..Sheldon And Sharon Got Kicked out And The Duke Of Weasleton Decide to Force Sheldon To marry Sharon For the Sake of the Child…But The marriage falls apart and The Duke banished him from his family..But..

6 years later,

Saphira was pretty Sadden..as Her father was Upset because of Saphira's heartbroken..Mordue Sighs softly..and began to Go to the Shrine and Pray to the Goddess to Have Saphira true love…and Couldn't Bare it..until..That Night..Something Magical happen is when the Glow was Coming from the Mountains..and there..was a Glowing white Reindeer that the Fur is Pure White as Snow..and it was ridden by a Mysterious Prince from the Mountains..seeking the Lovely maiden,,For his marriage..until..He saw a Lovely Cherry blossom Kingdom.. He began to ride to it..and sees the Sleeping Princess Saphira in her Bedroom chambers..and he said..

#Open Rp #Romance #Drama #Christmas Prince #Royal romance as well

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roseharpermaxwell · 6 months

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RWRB FirstPrince Holiday Recs

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve - click below for my favorites.

I Don't Know About You, But I'm Feeling... by IBoatedHere. T, 794 words. Four birthdays in Alex's life.

kiss me, and tell me that i’ll see you again by fxckingeyelashes. T, 2k. “Forgive me if I’m being too forward, but are you into guys perhaps? I’d like to know if I have a chance.”

“A chance at what?” Alex raises his eyebrows. It’s only then that he notices the rainbow G A Y under Henry’s name.

“A chance to be your new year’s kiss.”

(you can start) a family who will always show you love by @waterloolovers. T, 2.1k. “Confetti eggs.”

“Cascarones, but yes,” Alex grins, “I’ll give you a pass since your Spanish is a bit tragic.”

“Rude.” Henry rolls his eyes fondly. “So you just… chase each other around and try to smash eggs on each other? Seems rather messy with confetti going everywhere.”

“It’s very messy, but that’s the fun part of it. It’s meant to bring good fortune for the rest of the year."

The Spirit of Giving by @cha-melodius. T, 2.3k. His practice tamales come out pretty damned good, if he says so himself, and the ones for the holiday party are going to be even better. Alex is confident now that there’s no way his won’t be the best dish a the whole potluck; he’s definitely going to win (and no, he doesn’t care that you can’t ‘win’ a potluck, June).

(1 million words challenge holiday edition, prompt: “My holiday dish is better than your holiday dish.”)

Speaking my Language by HMS_Chill. G, 2.3k. Prompt:

"Alex always saying sweet things to Henry in Spanish but won't tell him what any of it means, and he's always google translating them and awe-ing at how cute Alex is and then like maybe he learns how to say something adorable to and says it to Alex and Alex just like melts or something"

one of your girls. by seafloor. M, 2.4k. New Years Eve; three years later. An hour before midnight.

Santa, Tell Me by @harrysglasses. G, 2.5k. Henry receives a very special gift from his office Secret Santa and is determined to find out who it's from.

we play all day (and spread holiday cheer) by headabovethewater. E, 2.5k. Nora guffaws. “You fucked Santa’s Elf?!”

“I mean,” Alex pauses and shrugs, “not with the costume on, obviously.”

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Nora exclaims, her hands cupping her own face in disbelief. She looks over Alex’s shoulder and cocks an eyebrow, before she lowers her hands and her tone, and asks, “Since when do you have a thing for blondes?”

I'll Have a Flu Christmas by @three-drink-amy. G, 2.7k. Plans go awry when Alex comes down with the flu right before Christmas while Henry waits for him to fly over and meet him in England. Prepared to spend Christmas sick and alone, Alex doesn't expect Henry to take matters into his own hands.

i think i'm falling for you by WaterlooLovers. T, 2.8k. Henry blinks at the man. He’s thankful the rink is fairly dark, only disco lights and black lights surrounding them, so the man can’t see the blush on his cheeks. The man is gorgeous, and still holding his waist, and Henry might be hallucinating. Maybe he did crack his skull on the hard rink floor. “Um.”

Trick or Kiss by ronans. NR, 2.9k. Henry’s been here for ten minutes and he’s already causing Alex to feel some feelings. He supposes Henry has made him a bit scared with his costume, but not in the god given Halloween way he should.

Or, Alex is throwing the Halloween party of the year and can't quite figure out why the Prince of England is haunting his every thought.

May Your New Years Dreams Come True by chamel. T, 3.1k. “In fact, I’d wager money my date will by far be the hottest there.”

Hunter scoffs, which honestly Henry doesn’t understand. It’s not like Alex hasn’t pulled in some real lookers to previous years’ parties, much to Henry’s chagrin. “Really? You want to bet?”

Alex shrugs. “Sure.”

“Henry,” Hunter says suddenly, finally—and unfortunately—acknowledging that he’s actually been standing there the whole time. “You want in on this?”

(1 million words challenge holiday edition, prompt: "Competition to see who can bring the hottest date to the New Year’s party")

you and me, forevermore by @theprinceandagcd. T, 3.1k. "He pushes up on his toes to kiss Henry, who returns the kiss immediately, greedily, tongue brushing against his in a way that makes Alex's brain short circuit just as much as it did a year ago.

A year ago.

It still does something to him, stirs something deep inside him that makes his entire body feel like pure mush. It's a memory burned so bright in his mind - cold air, a buzz in his veins, a tree in a quiet garden, fingers gripping his face, soft lips against his.

The night his world turned on its axis and shifted toward Henry, altering his path and forever tilting him closer."

Or, Alex and Henry on New Year's Eve, one year after their first, and Alex wants it to be special.

don't let me get drunk again by @getmehighonmagic. E, 3.1k. Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass.

Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

Merry Christmas, Darling by lucy_in_the_sky. E, 3.2k. Alex and Henry's first Christmas together as a couple. Just some good ol' fashioned Christmas smut

Wherever you are, as ever I remain by gallifreyandglowclouds. M, 3.4k. 'It’s transparently a lie, and he shouldn’t lie to Alex, but he can’t help it in the moment. He so badly wants everything to just be fine, to love this new life without a foot stuck in the old one.'

Henry can't help but feel a little homesick during his first Christmas in Brooklyn.

stars by the pocketful by weather_stained. T, 3.7k. Henry is having a terrible Halloween, so terrible that he completely forgets it even is Halloween until Alex shows up at his door asking to borrow a prop for June's costume.

Though Henry opts out of June's Halloween party, Alex makes sure he doesn't spend the holiday alone.

Call It Even by @smc-27. T, 3.7k. Alex shrugs. “I’ll go with you.”

Terrible, terrible, no good idea.

Too bad his mouth works faster than his brain. Which is…another thing he wishes to not think about. His mouth, and Alex, and all the things he could do to that man.

“All right.”

Fuck.

(aka: henry needs a +1 for a holiday party. his roommate offers.)

Help Yourself to Happiness by ronans. NR, 3.8k. ‘So you’re taking the post down, I assume? Now we’re both sober and in control of our impulses?’

Pez barks a laugh. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘I know we discussed the very real possibility that I would cry myself into oblivion without you here singing horrendously off key Christmas carols, but… isn’t this a little… desperate?’

‘I’m willing to see where this will take us, aren’t you?’ Pez asks, raising an eyebrow.

‘Says the man who would be safely out of the country after setting his best friend up with a potential murderer.’

Pez levels him with a look and then picks up Henry’s phone. ‘How many polos did he play?’ Pez turns the screen around so Henry can see the comment. ‘Does that sound like a person with murderous tendencies?’

Henry snatches the phone back. ‘This is a terrible idea.’

Or, A drunken night leads to Pez posting on Reddit, calling on any singles in the area to help Henry be a little less lonely this Christmas.

I'm not gay, but my apparel is by @clottedcreamfudge. T, 4.5k. “I’m not a salesman,” Alex points out, coming out from behind the counter and rolling up his sleeves. “I’m a purveyor of oddities, curiosities, and intrigue.”

“Yes, I saw your sign.”

“And now here we are,” Alex says, gesturing grandly and expansively to the space around him.

“Here we are,” the man says softly, then pulls one hand out of his coat pocket and holds it out to Alex. “Henry Fox-Mountchristen. I would like to purchase an oddity, curiosity, or an item of intrigue.”

you bring blue lights to dreams by headabovethewater. E, 4.5k. When Alex pulls him a bit closer and kisses him again, he thinks he sees a flash of blue peek through the opening in Henry’s shirt, but he ignores the thrill that travels down his spine and shrugs it off. Wishful thinking, he’s sure.

Or, Henry surprises Alex as they celebrate New Year's Eve together.

baby, be mine by strwbrryfox. T, 4.8k. five times alex asks henry to be his valentine and one time henry beats him to it ♥️

many times, many ways by @littlemisskittentoes. M, 4.8k. The thing is, Alex knows he can’t replace the bittersweet wave of memories that swarm Henry’s head at the sight of snow flurries and smell of peppermint in the air. He doesn’t want to. He wants Henry to keep those close, even if it is through the sepia tone of melancholy.

But Alex can’t help but wonder if maybe he can find a way to balance poignancy with something a bit easier. Something a little bit lighter. Something Henry can revisit to understand where he belongs, how he fits into the “happy” of it all any time he needs.

He looks over to Henry, finally asleep against his chest. He takes in the gentle slope of Henry’s nose, the fluttered fan of eyelashes against moon-bathed cheeks. He fixates on the subtle canyon, the soft part of Henry’s lips, the phantom wind of a silent snore, and Alex knows: the very least he can do is try.

or, holidays have always come as a reminder to Henry of what he’s lost. But Alex always manages to remind him of everything he’s gained too.

Ink it in on my skin, sign me up, make it last against the time by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. E, 5.2k. “Okay, then,” Alex says, and Henry can’t help but smile at the hint of mischief creeping into his voice, “there’s two weeks until Valentine’s Day. We each have that long to make it happen, and we’ll do a big reveal that night. Deal?” Flecks of gold are shimmering in his copper eyes. Henry leans forward, catching Alex’s lips to seal their accord.

“Agreed.”

Alex and Henry both decide to get tattoos.

I must tell you what you will not ask by @lizzie-bennetdarcy. E, 5.3k. Henry's plans for Christmas fall through, so Alex invites him home for the holidays. They're best friends, strictly platonic roommates, so why does everyone think they're dating?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. T, 5.4k. When the Legendary Balls-Out Bananas White House Trio New Year's Eve Party is interrupted by a security threat, Henry, Pez, Nora, June, and Alex find themselves locked in the White House library for their own protection with nothing but time, a few bottles of champagne, and some lighthearted conversation, until a single question threatens to change everything for Henry.

You and Me, Forevermore by milowren. NR, 5.6k. When Henry gets sick a few days after Christmas, he and Alex end up celebrating New Year's together in a different way than they planned.

where every wish comes true by @hypnostheory. E, 6k. “Locked out?”

“I forgot my keys,” Alex says with a sigh, leaning against his door with a muted shiver. He was planning on a heated Uber ride to June’s apartment, not standing out in the cold ass hallway. Alex hugs his coat closer to his chest. “My friend has my spare.”

Henry nods, leaning against his own door frame. Alex isn’t sure what the man does outside of going to grad school at NYU, but it must be bench-pressing horses based on the size of his biceps. Henry reaches up to push his glasses higher on his nose and Alex swears he wasn’t that bisexual when the day started. “Would you like to wait in my apartment for your friend?”

Alex gets locked out his apartment on Christmas Eve. He's forced to take refuge in his neighbor and occasional fuck buddy Henry's apartment, and together the two get into the Christmas spirit with the help of a festive costume and a silk ribbon.

The Honeymoon Suite by clottedcreamfudge. E, 6.1k. Henry's plane is grounded, which is absolutely fine, and not at all the worst possible outcome on Christmas Eve when he should already be on his way to London. Alex's plane is also grounded, but fortunately for his leggy British co-worker, he's a generous soul who's happy to share the room he managed to bag at a local hotel while they wait for their new flights.

So, so generous.

Baby, it's Halloween and we can be anything by sheisraging. E, 6.3k. Alex is furious. More furious than he should be about the whole thing, but still. Plans were made. Money was spent. Costumes were purchased—not even rented—purchased!

it's in the stars, it's who we are by @indomitable-love. E, 6.4k. 'Henry pulls back with wide, startled eyes, releases him roughly and staggers backwards. He lets out a mumbled curse and turns on his heel, and Alex has just enough of something still firing in his brain to reach out and catch Henry’s wrist. Just enough awareness of the fact that Henry is about to run, to say, ‘No, wait,’ before he can disappear through the snow.'

or, the AU where Henry doesn't run after the New Year's Eve kiss.

Re: Inappropriate Festive Party Conduct [Sent with High Importance!] by @largepeachicedtea. E, 6.5k.

Alex has changed his suit into something soft-looking and appropriately red, though the white shirt with the holly pin is still there, now accompanied by a trail of sparkly tinsel around his neck like a festive scarf. He’s holding a whiskey glass in one hand, leaning into something Nora is saying, and looks positively lethal. “Christ,” Henry mutters through a gulp of cider. “He looks good,” Pez agrees through a cheshire grin. “He always looks good,” Henry says. “Right now, he looks–” “Henry! Pez!” “Fuck.” “Alexander!” Pez hollers. “Babes!”

—

An office holiday party AU where Alex and Henry ignore the first rule of corporate festivities: Don't hook up with your coworker.

Ho for the Holidays by @whimsymanaged. E, 6.8k. “Listen, don’t worry about this,” Henry says quickly, already mentally crafting the passive-aggressive text he’s going to send Pez. “Better luck next year. I’ll just be off—“

“Hold your damn horses.” Alex stops Henry with a fast, surprisingly gentle hand to his wrist. His eyebrows furrow. “What did you put on your questionnaire?”

Henry’s ears go hot. “That’s none of your business.”

Alex scoffs and leans in closer. “Baby, we matched. It’s safe to say we have at least some interests in common. Be honest—was it because you confessed to having a secret desire to slap me?”

Or, Pez organizes an event called Ho for the Holidays, and these two idiots get paired up.

all my time is yours to spend by smc_27. T, 6.8k. Any way you look at it, Bea is not meant to be here, and if it were just the lights, he’d assume she forgot to turn them off. The fire burning is another thing entirely. The weather has been dreadful, and perhaps her flight was canceled. Surely, she’d have told him as much.

He should investigate.

Waffles & Conversation by clottedcreamfudge. E, 7k. “I’m fine, I swear. I just need to give it a proper clean and I’ll be fine.”

Ellen isn’t convinced. “Okay, but you’re letting Henry look at it later.”

Alex grits his teeth for what must be the thousandth time today and tries to keep his voice level. “No, I’m not. He’s a vet, mom.”

“And he’s the closest thing to a doctor we have coming tonight,” she says firmly, letting him take his hand back and raising her eyebrows at him. “It’s that or the ER, honey. Your choice.”

You're the Perfect Gift for Me by @cha-melodius. T, 7.2k. “Twenty-one-year-old Scotch,” the man says with a low whistle, looking more impressed than anything else. “Special occasion or just expensive taste?”

Alex can’t stop his grimace. “Came up here to propose,” he says, even though this random stranger doesn’t need to hear his woes. “Found out my girlfriend’s getting back together with her high school sweetheart.”

“Ouch,” the man replies, the word sounding slightly absurd in his rounded, posh accent. He looks at the bartender. “Leave the bottle.”

(Dumped two days before Christmas by his girlfriend, Alex meets a British writer who's spending Christmas on his own in generic Tiny Town, USA, and together they discover something new to celebrate.)

Snowed In? Snow Problem by @rmd-writes. E, 7.3k. The challenge: to write a fun college AU for the queen of college AUs (though she’ll probably be mad at me for saying so). Bonus points for also including the only one bed and getting caught doing something sus tropes.

The result: hopefully all of the above, plus they’re snowed in for the holidays.

AKA Henry and Alex get snowed in at their dorm for the holidays, whatever will they do?

It's Not Thanksgiving Without the Turkeys by allmylovesatonce. M, 7.5k. Thanksgiving 2020, Alex invites Henry to join the Claremont-Diaz family for Thanksgiving. More than anything, they're excited for another excuse to be together.

(Valen)Tie Me Up by @happinessofthepursuit. E, 7.7k. “Well, I actually made your gift at one of Pez’s workshops, though I’m sure they would’ve gotten it out of me anyway,” Henry says, voice fond.

Alex’s mind is whirring, going through the monthly calendars from Seize the Play. Pez leads classes multiple times a week, but there’s only a few that Henry could’ve attended, and one in particular that would explain his own gift…

“Which one?” Alex asks.

“I think that’ll immediately be clear.”

Or, Alex and Henry exchange gifts for their first Valentine’s together—then proceed to use them.

you make it look so easy, i know it's not by @anincompletelist. T, 7.9k. Bea’s to his left, speaking frantically on the phone with who Henry hopes is the fire brigade or someone else trained to deal with these— situations. In front of him, Pez is fumbling frustratedly with the water hose, showcasing his colorful vocabulary with a flourish of jerky hand movements and chaotic pacing. On either side of the fence, his neighbors are peaking over the sides to ask if everything’s okay, and Henry feels the resolution to make a good first impression crumbling and slipping rapidly out of his grasp. Even David watches on from inside the house, his sage eyes and patriotic bowtie appraising the scene and looking back to Henry as if to say I told you so.

And the fryer — the fryer itself is up in flames, thick gray smoke swirling up into the air and soaring high above the tree line now. In the distance, the echo of sirens. Henry may faint right here, in the middle of his backyard at his new home before he's even unpacked, with all the neighbors and his family and friends watching on, on his first official American Thanksgiving. It is, by all means, not what he’d envisioned for the day.

everything ever written about love by greenandmoss. E, 8.4k.

“Bet you’re glad you knocked on this door.”

“I am, actually.” Smiles should not be this disarming. It’s disconcerting.

It’s like they’re in a movie, where all the lines are pre-written, and the smiles and the looks all mean something. The couple are scripted to catch eyes, and fall in love with each other the second their lips touch. But that’s fucking ridiculous. Henry sits there like some kind of James-Bond-Jude-Law heartthrob, and Alex’s life is not a movie. This is not how real life plays out.

Or: The Holiday au but it's just that one scene where Cameron Diaz meets Jude Law

Save a Horse, Ride a Princess by @affectionatelyrs. E, 8.6k. “I have to say, this is all quite literal, don’t you think?”

Alex wouldn’t know literal right now if it hit him in the head. “Huh?”

Henry points at Alex: “Pillow Princess,” and then to himself: “Cowboy. Ready to ride and all that.”

Alex nods dumbly. “Right.”

Or, Alex and Henry dress up as the ultimate couples costume for Halloween — themselves — and they both feel some kind of way about it

the world watched (and the world smiled) by fangirl6202. M, 9.1k. "Oh,” Alex says finally, faintly, touching one hand to his lips. Then: “Shit.”

His mind catches up then, realizing that Henry is walking away and he doesn't even think twice. He begins to quite literally chase after him, trying to get to him before he can get away or, God forbid, try to fly back to England and ghost him.

Henry is very pointedly not looking at him, stuttering apology over apology until Alex has to quite literally throw himself in front of him to get him to stop. Alex doesn’t know what to do. But the answer is simple, isn’t it? So fucking simple.

He takes Prince Fucking Charming’s lapels into his hand and kisses him back.

Or; it's New Years, and Henry stays.

more than you could ever know by indomitablelove. T, 9.5k. He watches Alex’s bright smile as he talks to Bea and Leo, the way that Ellen and Catherine have their heads bent close together and how Nora is talking with Pez, Oscar and June. He feels something catch in his throat, something blooming in his chest with such strength that it threatens to burst its way out. He never, in a million years, thought he would have this.

this year i will fall by @rmd-writes. E, 9.8k. Henry has many regrets in his life, but leaving the ice rink after a literal run in with the potential love of his life without even obtaining his name may be his biggest. With his family visiting for the holidays for the first time and ever-present work deadlines looming, he's too busy to think about how to engineer his own happy ending worthy of the novels he edits.

But what if fate has other ideas?

Ye Merry Gentlemen by allmylovesatonce. M, 9.9k. Across three different years, at different points in their lives, Alex and Henry celebrate Christmas together.

On My Mind (Let's Go) by @sparklepocalypse. E, 10k. Pez blows into his hands and rubs them together to warm them. “Listen. Just… whatever happens in there, say yes, alright?”

“I don’t follow,” Henry says, his brow furrowing. “Say yes to what?”

“Whatever opportunity comes knocking,” Pez says breezily. “You forget, I’ve seen your messages. The booze is flowing tonight, and everyone’s got their best fit on – so opportunity will knock, and you will say yes.”

(A movieverse New Year's Eve fix-it that started as crack and turned into crack taken seriously. With dancing. And smut. Like... a lot of smut.)

Someone Special by bleedingballroomfloor. E, 10k. "That was Shaan," Henry explains as Alex snuggles closer to him, pressing his nose to his neck. "The blizzard hit early, apparently. Too risky to fly."

"So Christmas here?" Alex says in that sleepy drawl of his that Henry will never get tired of. "Fuckin' sweet."

Happy NY by @myheartalivewrites. E, 11k. “Hi,” he says, and Henry looks into his eyes, taking in the brown colour and little flecks of black and gold that give it depth; the tiny freckles dotted across his nose and cheekbones, only a shade or two darker than his deep bronze skin. “Uh, sorry about that,” the man says, but he doesn’t step out of Henry’s arms. Instead his eyebrows go up, and his expression changes, from one of embarrassment to something Henry thinks is surprise, and maybe, ever so hopefully, a little bit of interest.

would you wait for me? by smc_27. T, 11k. Henry Fox has made Alex nervous from the second they met.

Now it’s different. Now Alex has to try and find a shirt to wear to a party where he’ll inevitably see Henry for the first time in a year. For the first time since Alex’s heart was broken and he’d made what felt like the brave and smart decision and left.

Coming back might be a mistake.

Gonna Give You Something (So You Know What’s on My Mind) by @affectionatelyrs. E, 11k. Alex hums, turning around to pull open the freezer drawer. “You want anything?”

But Henry barely registers his question. Not when Alex is slightly bent over, allowing Henry a perfect view of his perfect ass. Each individual ridge of his spine is visible due to his lack of shirt. All of these things combined would normally be a large enough issue in itself to render Henry dumbstruck, except—

Except, that’s not the only thing that Henry’s faced with.

Right there, clear as day: blue lace, delicately peeking out from the waistband of his joggers. Henry’s hand immediately flies up to his cheek. The skin is hot to the touch, and he feels the imprint of where the material once lay like a brand.

Or, With the help of a white elephant gift, Henry learns that maybe the whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate thing isn’t as one-sided as he thought

Love and Hate at the Farmers' Market by myheartalive. T, 11k. Alex and Henry both work at a farmers' market and they hate each other, until suddenly— oops! They don't!

(Secret) Santa Baby by @indomitable-love. E, 11k. "When it comes to Secret Santa, Alex really does have a reputation to uphold. Everybody wants Alex to get them. Nobody actually wants to get Alex, which is why he usually ends up with novelty socks or a political biography, but he doesn’t care. Ultimately, everybody wants Alex to get their name. And right now, Alex is seconds away from finding out who his new mark is. The person that he’s going to spend the next few weeks learning inside and out to ensure that he gets them the perfect gift."

Alex gets his work nemesis, Henry, in the office Secret Santa and realises that he doesn't know nearly as much about him as he thought...

Trim my Christmas tree by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 12k. Henry is a writer, not a mall Santa, but unfortunately this year - thanks to his adorable and conniving nieces and their Aunt Beatrice - he's going to have to be both. This doesn't leave him a great deal of time to pine horribly over the part-time bookseller and Law student over at June Claremont-Diaz's shop, but somehow he manages to jam it in anyway.

Ho ho ho.

i'll be home for christmas by @dumbpeachjuice. M, 12k. He books a tiny cottage in a village called Little Snoring (not to be confused with the nearby Great Snoring) somewhere in Norfolk and tries to tell himself Christmas by himself in a foreign country is going to be an adventure from which he will have an adorable story to tell his friends and family, and not just totally depressing. At the very least he can take a cute picture of his snowy cottage and pretend he’s not totally fucking jealous of his entire family gathering in Austin without him.

If he ever fucking gets there, that is.

Or, Alex's first Christmas in the UK gets ruined by the British weather. A handsome stranger invites him to spend the holiday with his family instead.

The Holiday by @dracowillhearaboutthis. E, 13k. Henry is in no mood to attend his family's holiday gathering this year. So when June Claremont-Diaz asks him via a Home Swap website whether or not his house is free over the holidays, he jumps at the opportunity to escape the country and his family for the holidays.

He did not include Alex into the calculation - June's charming and gorgeous brother who suddenly appears at her doorstep.

Airplane Mode by clottedcreamfudge. E, 14k. Getting into an argument with someone in the airport lounge had probably been a mistake, in hindsight; Alex knows this. But with so many fucking delays and the fact that the signal on his phone is currently making it about as useful as two paper cups joined by a piece of string, he’s kind of on-edge. It’s not entirely his fault that he snaps.

Attractive people with perfect hair who take the last almond croissant before Alex can get to it probably just need to understand this. Alex is at the end of his tether, and he will not be swayed by, “Well, I was here first,” in a British accent so smooth it could butter bread.

Home for the Holidays by lucy_in_the_sky. E, 14k. “How would you feel about maybe spending Christmas in Texas with me and my family?” He bites his lip after popping the question.

Henry’s eyebrows shoot up. But before Alex can regret asking, a soft smile blossoms on his face.

“I want you there with me. I- I wanted you there this week, too-” Alex starts to ramble. “And, like, it’s totally ok if you want to go to England to be with your family, duh, but I’d love to show you Austin and introduce you to my family and teach you the Claremont-Diaz holiday traditions and kiss you on Christmas morning and-”

He’s cut off by the hard press of Henry’s lips against his own.

“Yeah?” Alex beams.

“Yes, love. Of course yes.”

Sweet Dreams of Holly and Ribbon by @villiageidiot. T, 14k. He falls asleep on the loveseat, Nora and June curled up on the couch across from him, as a terrible Hallmark Christmas film plays in the background. It’s the fourth night of sleeping alone—Henry taking care of some business back in the palace—and he’d rather wake up cold and cramped across from the two of them than alone in his own bed.

That’s how Alex falls asleep.

That is not how he wakes up.

A Fine Line by indomitablelove. E, 15k. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Whatever is inescapable. In the worst way possible. He’s always fucking there. Alex turns up for his shift and Henry is there behind the coffee machine, apron tied around his waist and stupid, tight white T-shirt clinging to his biceps. Alex turns up for open-mic night at the cafe and there he is again, reading his fucking poetry. Alex goes to the grocery store, or the bookshop, or the fucking campus library, and who does he see? Henry. Always Henry.

Always Henry, always with a different guy.

Alex hates Henry. He's only letting Henry and his stupid long limbs and his overly symmetrical face stay on his couch because he has to, because 'tis the season not to be a massive dick, because it's Christmas. Isn't he? -also coffee shop/roommates

12 Days of Christmas with Alex and Henry series by @coffeecatsme. E, 16k. "It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle."

"Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch.

"Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

(Dil)Do It Yourself by @happiness-of-the-pursuit. E, 16k. “Listen,” Nora starts, turning her body once more so that she’s sitting sideways in the chair with her legs thrown across the armrest. “I did the math. There’s a 79% chance you’re gonna become a slut to the power of the prostate, and while we’re not dating anymore, it’s my duty as your fellow slutty bisexual to get this party started.”

Or, when Nora drags Alex to a holiday dildo workshop, he doesn’t expect to find someone to use it with.

Spirit of the Season by @pridepages. M, 17k. Henry was dead to begin with. That much you must understand, or nothing that follows will seem strange or wondrous...

Alex Claremont-Diaz doesn't believe in ghosts. And he really hates Dickens.

But that's not going to stop a very unusual Christmas Spirit...

Henry Fox is on a mission. Once a year, he finds a soul in need of his help. (Too bad this one's such an utter berk.)

When two lost souls find each other on Christmas Eve, they may just find everything they never knew they wanted.

The Christmas Guest by @omgcmere. E, 17k. Alex is looking forward to a relaxing winter break catching up with his sister after her semester abroad, but June's gone and ruined everything by inviting her insufferable international student friend to stay with their family for a real American Christmas experience. Henry is irritatingly gorgeous with a completely obnoxious superiority complex, and Alex is prepared to hate every single second he's forced to spend in his presence. As Alex starts to get into the Christmas spirit, however, he finds that maybe there's more to Henry than meets the eye - and maybe, just maybe, this will actually be the best Christmas ever. - also college

Four Christmases by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. E, 19k. From Washington to Austin, London to New York, Alex and Henry spend Christmas with different members of their families from 2020 - 2023. Funny couples' Christmas sweaters, festive swimsuits, statement-making ties, and family pajamas all bring lots of laughs, some tears, and a bit of fun to be had by all along the way.

A Year in the Life series by milowren. NR, 19k. Alex and Henry are coworkers, Henry has a crush, and they end up at a haunted corn maze together a few nights before Halloween. Shenanigans ensue! And - When Alex's flight home is canceled at the last minute, Henry invites him over for Thanksgiving - despite never having hosted an American Thanksgiving before.

and you would be there too by smc_27. M, 20k. It’s mostly dark out here, just the lamp poles in the parking lot casting a warm yellow glow across the packed snow.

“We’re closed.”

Henry spins around, heart racing, and sees the beautiful man from the café and from earlier at the shops. He cuts a stunning image, swinging one leg over the wooden fence rail and stepping into the parking lot as he pulls a red and black plaid shirt over his shoulders, his tan pants tight enough across his thighs to make Henry blush for noticing.

This Hell of a Season by Chamel. E, 21k. (Nova, Baby follow-up) “The first few years, it was a relief to get away from all the stupid family drama,” Alex says, blowing a long sigh. The hand that’s not holding Henry’s slides onto his stomach, a warm, comforting pressure. “Then I started to resent it. It hurt to be stuck out on a mission while everyone celebrated without me.”

“And now?”

A grin slips onto Alex’s face as he walks two fingers across Henry’s bare chest. “Now I have you.”

(Or, 3 times Alex & Henry spent Christmas on missions and 1 when they didn't; or, A Very Nova Christmas Special.

Love on the Menu by berrybluefae. M, 23k. Henry Fox has a side hustle at his job as a host in an upscale restaurant. He loves setting up romantic moments for guests who want a little something extra for their night out to dinner. A bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne for the couple celebrating their 50th anniversary? Easy. A special table with candles and a dessert with a surprise for the woman about to propose? Child’s play. But despite playing Cupid for the restaurant’s guests, Henry has never been on the receiving end of a grand romantic gesture. So imagine his surprised delight when anonymous gifts begin appearing just for him.

Who is Henry’s secret admirer? Only Valentine’s Day will tell.

You Make Every Day Feel Like It's Christmas by allmylovesatonce. T, 25k. Burned out on work, Alex goes to visit June who is on assignment in a sleepy Vermont town called Snow's Landing. June is determined for him to see where she's been living for the last six months and to love it as much as she does. The most intriguing part of it all is June's best friend there, a man named Henry, that Alex believed was a jerk at first but is starting to discover a new side of as they spend more time together.

Paper Chains by @myheartalivewrites. E, 25k.

DAY 751

(Alex)

Henry is… Well, if Alex is being honest, Henry is everything to him.

But it’s kinda hard to explain.

DAY 1

———

I have no idea how to summarise this one, folks. The best I can do is… Alex and Henry's journey from awkward beginning as colleagues, to best friends, to spending time apart and finally to finding each other again.

But it’s not as straightforward as that.

Every Day's a Holiday (When I'm Near to You) by bleedingballroomfloor. E, 29k. I know this is a long shot, but if anyone’s going to Texas/anywhere south for the holidays and is crazy enough to drive there instead of fly, I’m looking for a road trip buddy. We can split gas money and snacks if you pick good ones. DM me if you’re interested.

And Henry knows he's about the make the most idiotic decision he's ever made in his life.

Or, Henry impulsively tags along with Alex on a road trip to Texas with absolutely no plan. Surely this won't backfire.

in a holidaze by @tedddylupin. E, 49k. Alex didn't mean to spend his New Years Eve thrown together with a perfect stranger at an airport. He didn't mean to offer up to share his hotel room with a very attractive stranger. He also didn't mean to find the man insufferably perfect either.

Or: the one where Alex and Henry find each other during different holidays throughout a year's time.

When I think about you by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 50k. Dream sharing is absolutely not a thing, even though Alex would very much like it to be.

The magic of soulmates, however, means that someone you’ve never met – someone whose soul is tied to yours, in whatever way that manifests – can appear in your dreams, like an extra character who keeps popping up over and over again. They won’t be having the same dream as you, and you won’t actually meet, but whatever you remember from the dream can start to take shape in your waking hours; you can figure things out, bit by bit, dream by dream.

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

#firstprince #rwrb fic recs #rwrb #alex x henry #red white & royal blue

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 8 months

Note

For Jack, maybe he’s taking care of reader when she’s sick and she’s worried about getting him sick but he doesn’t care

"Urban says get better soon." Jack slipped his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants as he walked into the living room. Urban called to check in with you before the headed out to the first of many Halloween parties tonight. Jack had declined his invitation, choosing to spend the night in with you. You were laying under three layers of thick blankets, still shivering as you suffered through your third day of the flu.

"You should go out tonight with them, babe. I know how much you love Halloween." You grinned as you rubbed your nose with a tissue, layering on the sarcasm, because you knew Jack couldn't stand Halloween. "I don't wanna get you sick. You're supposed to go to London next week."

This time you were serious. As much as you would love to be cuddled up to your boyfriend while he nursed you back to health, you would never forgive yourself if he had to miss a work commitment because of you.

"Bold of you to assume I'm here for you." He plopped down on the couch, pulling one of your blankets over his legs as he pulled you into his side, planting a kiss on your forehead. "I can't go out tonight. I'm a celebrity, baby, there would be chaos." Jack chuckled as he shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

You rolled your eyes and let out a big sigh at his arrogant show. You knew it was all an act, because Jack was one of the biggest scaredy cats you had ever met, jumpy at the smallest sound or movement, and that was only magnified on Halloween.

"Oh, how could I forget, Mr. Hollywood. What movie do you want to watch?" Jack shrugged, lifting his feet onto the coffee table. "I'm up for anything."

"Let's watch my favorite: A Nightmare Before Christmas." You grabbed the remote and scrolled through the movie choices.

"That's not scary is it?" You saw Jack's eyes grow wide from the corner of your eye, his fingers intertwined with his beard, a tell that he was nervous.

"Are you asking if a movie with the word 'Christmas' in the title is scary?" You sniffled, patting his thigh.

"It also has the word Nightmare in it." Jack countered, his voice an octave higher than usual. He grabbed your hand, squeezing each finger individually, something he also did when he was nervous.

"I promise to protect you. You're a celebrity after all, wouldn't want anything to happen to you." Jack scoffed, but also pulled you in closer to him, resting his head atop yours.

About 30 minutes into the movie you started a sneezing fit, one right after the other. You sat up to blow your nose, groaning at the congestion in your chest. "I can barely breathe."

"Want me to get you some more cough medicine?" Jack rubbed your arm sympathetically.

"Yes, that would be great, babe. Its in the bathroom, top drawer to the left of the sink." Jack jumped to his feet, and walked to your bathroom to retrieve the bottle.

You knew you had about 30 seconds to put your plan into motion and scare Jack. You just couldn't resist. It wasn't your fault that Jack happened to fall in love with someone obsessed with Halloween. Scaring him was inevitable. You tucked a couple of pillows underneath your blankets to look like you were sleeping beneath the covers, and then you moved to hide behind the couch.

Right on schedule, Jack returned less than a minute later, whistling to himself as he rounded the corner to your living room.

"Babe, I wasn't sure which medicine you wanted, so I just brought both bottles I found." He stopped when he realized you were sleeping. He gently placed the medicine on the table, sinking onto the couch next to you. You cover your mouth to hold your giggles, feeling a cough travel up your chest.

Jack leaned over closer to what he thought was you. "I know I joke about it, but truthfully, I'd get sick a hundred times if it means I get to spend time with you", he whispered, trying not to wake you. "There's literally nowhere else I'd rather be."

You felt bad, but knew you had to commit to the bit, purely for a laugh. You jumped up from behind the couch, placing your hands on Jack's shoulders. "Boo, Jack, Santa Claus is gonna get you!"

"Aaaah!" Jack scrambled off the couch, landing across the floor on his hands and knees. He laid on his back when he realized it was you, flipping you the middle finger. "You fucking suck!"

You bellowed over in laughter, your face turning bright red, as you let out a deep chest cough.

"How much did you hear?" Jack asked, as he pulled you into a hug, clapping you on your back.

"You mean did I hear you say how much you looovvveee me?" You teased him, cupping his cheek.

"Well, I didn't mean any of it. I don't love anyone who scares the shit out of me." Jack pushed his bottom lip out in a pout, hoping to garner some sympathy kisses from you.

"I'm on my deathbed, babe, you can't be mad at me." You snaked your arms around his neck, playing with the curls at the back of his head.

"Well, when you put it like that, I guess I forgive you, and of course I love you, babe." He leaned down to give you a kiss but you turned away. "Jack, sick." You backed away from him, shielding your face as you landed on the couch.

"If you don't give me a kiss, I take it all back." He climbed on top of you, sending you into a fit of giggles as he tickled your stomach. You quickly gave in, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jackharlow #jackman harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff

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lilyofthevalleyys · 7 months

Text

I love Rosekiller and I think I’ll make a fic rec list about it. Enjoy reading!!

Check the reblogs for more fic recs :)

1. any fic by graveryavery

My summary (MS): seriously, they’re amazing at writing. Have your pick of whichever fic.

Link: graveryavery

2. Drunk on Love by amethyst_citrine

status: 1/1

Summary: Evan Rosier has been in love with his best friend for years. He thinks that every time Barty Crouch Jr. flirts with him, it's just an act, making him roll his eyes and walk away. But maybe Evan is drunk, and thinks it's a good idea to stop running.

MS: Rosekiller at a party. Oh, what could go wrong? These two lovebirds are such idiots honestly

Link: Drunk on Love

3. Midnight Rain by blackmojito

status: 1/1

Summary: In the middle of December, in a house that's not his own, Evan learns the true meaning of warmth.

MS: I love their writing style in its short, sweet way. Also fluffy christmas fics? yes please 🤲

Link: Midnight Rain

4. I’m Not Going To Teach Him How To Dance With You by greensenne

status: 18/18

Summary:

“You’d be my best man wouldn’t you, Evs?

There’s an ugly pain burning low in his chest as he says, “Of course. What are friends for?”

Or, Barty's father forces him into an arranged marriage, and Evan is to be his best man. Which would be fine if Evan weren't head over heels in love with him.

MS: I know, this is a classic and everyone’s heard of it. But for the new people, this is probably a good place to start to get into shipping Rosekiller. And yk, a reread would be good 🤭

Link: The fic bcuz the title is too long

5. Spider-Man: Death Eater Parade by basiliscus

Status: 5/14

Summary: Evan Rosier has been Spider-Man since he was 15 years old and he is tired. He saw it all, he did it all and he hates himself more than any Rita Skeeter ever could. Evan Rosier has seen people die. He let people die. Evan Rosier is tired, his moral code is broken and then a ghost from the past comes to haunt him 5 years after he thought he buried him and sent him off to hell.

Barty Crouch hates Spider-Man. He can't stand the bastard who's willing to let people die when he has the ability to prevent it. Barty spends almost every day on whatever scene Spider-Man goes to. Only break to this routine is an awkward university dropout Evan Rosier that stumbles into his life.

Evan is living a double life as Spider-Man and quite literally hates it. He meets the only person who hates him more than he hates himself.

There's no person on Earth who hates Spider-Man more than Barty. The issue is Barty falls for Evan.

MS: Alright, here’s a Spider-Man alternate au fic with double identities and a enemies to lovers. It is still ongoing though, but love anyway

Link: Spider-Man: Death Eater Parade

6. A Truthful Joke by justreadandwritex

Status: 9/9

Summary: Evan and Barty have been best friends since the age of three. Now they're sixteen, at Hogwarts, surrounded by couples. They joke about it - a lot - but at a certain point, when is it a joke and when is it a desire?

On top of a sexuality crisis and family issues, has to deal with another feeling, or rather feelings. For his best friend.

And while his best friend seems to pull away from him, Barty tries everything in his power to keep Evan in his life. They're best friends after all, right? Just friends. Ha.

*Some chapters will discuss homophobia or family issues but I always give trigger warnings

MS: It’s beautiful and I like it. That’s it.

Link: A Truthful Joke

7. Annoying by godforsaken_mess

Status: 31/31

Summary: barty accidentally texts the wrong number. evan just happens to be the victim.

a texting story that i got the idea to write at 3am so you can expect perfection (sarcasm).

obviously rosekiller is the main ship but i'll shift focus onto the other ones from time to time so that they can happen as well.

more focus on the slytherins ofc but the friend group is split up so please forgive me 🙏

i don't own any of these characters!!

MS: Evan is a little shit here and I love him so it’s fine. Also love a good text fic so just 🫶

Link: Annoying

8. Call It What You Want by lxcuxex

Status: 1/1

Summary:

“Sometimes you two are worse than Regulus and James.”

Evan’s attention immediately snapped towards Dorcas who paused mid bite, “What? It’s true. You’re bickering like a married couple.”

Barty simply grinned, leaning forward. “Our fifth anniversary is coming up isn’t it my sweet Evan? Shall we go on a trip, love? Perhaps the countryside?” He suggested, watching as Evan’s face flushed a pink, bright on his freckled cheeks.

The one where Barty and Evan are too clueless to realize they are basically boyfriends.

MS: The last part of the summary is so true though. Anyway, love this fic and idk how many times i’ve reread it

Link: Call It What You Want

9. One got shot and the other got lost by All_for_the_andreil

Status: 1/1

Summary:

“Barty, what the fuck?”

-or-

Barty Crouch Jr. slowly losing his mind when he thinks Evan is dead and then being his psychotic self when he finds out he's being held hostage instead

TW: Blood and violence

MS: Look, I know I said I love a lot of the fics here but this one might take the cake. I love psycho Rosekiller even more than I love fluffy Rosekiller. If you look carefully, you’ll notice this may be the only crazy, semi-canon fic in this rec list, so yes.

Link: Too long title that I’m lazy to type

10. don’t want none of this (good times all times) by cherryknots

Status: 1/1

Summary:

“They’re messing with you both,” Lily whispered in his ear, and he had to lean in close to hear her over the cheers that were louder now as the kisses around the circle grew sloppier with each couple.

“Hm?” Evan blinked, still staring at the spot that had been previously occupied by Sirius. He was long gone now.

“Sirius and Barty,” Lily clarified patiently. “They got you and Remus right where they wanted you. I think that Sirius is currently… making it up to Remus right now in the dorm…"

Evan lifted his eyes back to Barty, who was still staring at him. At how close he was to Lily, a frown deepening on his face.

Oh?

So that’s what this was?

A small smile grew on Evan’s face, and he nodded in understanding. If Barty wanted to play, then Evan would, too.

or, Evan is dragged to another Gryffindor party, and to his dismay, Barty has to kiss Sirius Black during Spin the Bottle.

MS: Evan flirting back to Barty? Are you serious? Yes please. *snatches it and consumes greedily* but anyway, it’s a short fic about them messing with each other, although I have no idea why they would want to do that but yk, ok

Link: Too long title yet again

11. The Very First Night by constellationgrayson

Status: 1/1

Summary: Barty is a detective. Evan is a jewel thief.

But Barty wasn't always a detective, and one look from Evan is making him wonder if his new life is really as fulfilling as he wants it to be.

MS: A somewhat forbidden romance and I am insanely grateful to the author for making it a fade to black kinda scene at one point. Or maybe I just skipped it I can’t remember.

Link: The Very First Night

12. We Found Wonderland by kazsbf

Status: 1/1

Summary:

"Barty never liked closed captions before he met Evan. He hated the idea of having to read something he was meant to be watching, but he learned to love having closed captions automatically turned on for all his devices. He even had them set to automatic on his phone just in case Evan wanted to watch something when they were in the car or the library. He liked seeing Evan's eyes light up when he didn't have to turn them on and make accommodations for himself--they were already there for him."

MS: In other words: Evan is deaf and Barty arranges a date for them that accommodates his disability 🫶 Barty being the sweetest boyfriend

Link: We Found Wonderland

13. remember that night by regulvrs

Status: 1/1

Summary: Evan and Barty share their first kiss. The only problem? Barty doesn't remember it. And that ruins Evan.

MS: Angst with a happy ending! I wanted to throw something at Barty to knock some sense into him but tbf to him, he was drunk, though I have no idea how it works having never drank before or see someone truly drunk but ok

Link: remember that night

14. Sparks fly by bluesofacushion

Status: 1/1

Summary: Evan is head over heels in love with one of his best friends. What can he do? It’s not like Barty likes him back. He is fully determined to keep his secret with him to the grave but Pandora has other plans.

Based on ‘Sparks Fly’ by Taylor Swift so it’s mostly just fluff

MS: It is a sweet fic that is yes, mostly fluff

Link: Sparks fly

15. gods & monsters by littleredpartydress

Status: 1/1

Summary:

“Barty, can we talk?” Evan asked.

Fuck. Is it serious? He couldn’t talk to Evan about something serious right now.

“It’s private so, uh, do you mind following me?”

Of course he minded.

“Sure,” Barty agreed.

Barty and Evan get together after Evan is encouraged by Pandora.

MS: Pandora being the matchmaker here is beautiful

Link: gods & monsters

16. To Be Seen by twoclosetothestars

Status: 1/1

Summary:

“Well, how long have you liked me for?” Evan asks.

“Since when I stayed at your house for summer break before fourth year,” Barty confesses.

“So really you have no room to judge because you didn't mention anything either!” Evan points out.

“Whatever,” Barty grumbles. “We’re both idiots. Now can we get to the part where we kiss because I’m really looking forward to that part?”

“I’m an idiot now, am I?”

“Yes,” Barty agrees. “An annoyingly beautiful, funny, smart, amazing idiot who I’d really like to kiss right now.”

“Sweet talker,” Evan teases, and then his lips are on Barty’s.

MS: They are idiots in love, your honor

Link: To Be Seen

17. All for you by dramaticwitchbitch

Status: 1/1

Summary: Evan was pining. He knew he was. But simply knowing that did not make him feels less pathetic. It should be impossible to fall on love with one’s best friend. But Evan’s poor heart had gone and done it anyway. Barty, of course, was wholly oblivious to Evans pining. Evan supposed it was a blessing anyway. He wasn’t sure if their friendship would survive the thing.

The thing, was what Evan called is quiet obsession with Barty that threatened to burst put into a huge love confession along the lines of, love me like I love you, let’s grow old together; every time Barty smiled at him. Or flirted with him. Or just sat next to him, smelling sinfully good. Or just existing in Evan’s vicinity. Evan had it bad.

MS: Rose is down so bad and so is Bee

Link: All for you

Hope you enjoyed reading all of them :) and surprise surprise, there are more fics that I have yet to read so i’ll most likely be adding on to this :D

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nobodysdaydreams · 6 months

Text

The Mysterious Benedict Society Christmas Carol AU

(I was gonna wait until December to post this, but Gogh and they were interested, and I have zero impulse control so here we go!)

I wanted to make something for my TMBS mutuals this wonderful holiday season, and I never get tired of Christmas Carol adaptations. Dickins knew what he was doing when he wrote that one. There's just nothing that gives me that warm, wholesome, special holiday feeling more than the idea of finding a cruel selfish person and putting the fear of God and compassion for mankind into their heart by haunting them with their own sins and terrifying the living daylights out of them.

So I figured, why shouldn't Curtain get his turn too?

For @sophieswundergarten and @myfairkatiecat based on your wonderful vision (I’m sorry I know I promised you this in like…August. But better late than never). And for @itsgoghtime so that we can scream about it together!

Trigger warning for multiple character deaths (don't worry it's all good at the end part though).

Obviously Scrooge is none other than Curtain/Nathaniel Benedict himself. The other roles are generally shared between characters.

This takes place in between season 1 and 2. The extended Benedict family is celebrating Christmas together, but Nicholas has trouble getting into the spirit of the season, because the holidays have never felt the same without Nathaniel. But then it occurs to Nicholas that now that he knows where his brother is, he can invite him to Christmas this year (though there still is the small problem of them being enemies and the fact that his friends might not approve of it).

So, Nicholas, after sleuthing out his brother’s address in Italy, decides to secretly write him a letter inviting him to their Christmas party, explaining that he forgives Nathaniel, is sorry he didn’t come back when they were children, and that he sincerely misses his brother and wants him to be part of his family again (so I guess for the purpose of matching characters, Nicholas has the role of Fred in this instance).

Meanwhile, back at the compound, Garrison (who has the role of Bob Cratchit, at least for now), has a huge fight with Curtain over the happiness technique, and in typical Curtain fashion, he rudely insists on doing it his way and verbally abuses Garrison. SQ overhears his father yelling at her but doesn’t say anything.

Later, Jackson and Jillson come to Curtain with some concerns about the way Marlon had been doing things at the compound. They ask Curtain what they’ll be doing for Christmas this year, and suggest doing something for charity in order to promote the work they’re doing. Curtain replies that the work they are doing is inherently charitable, and that they don’t have the time to waste celebrating Christmas. He then orders a disappointed Jackson and Jillson to get back to work.

As Jackson and Jillson leave, they drop a letter on Curtain’s desk, which was delivered to the compound that morning. It’s Nicholas’ invitation. Curtain, believing it to be a pathetic attempt to get him to surrender by appealing to his nostalgia and sentimentality, scoffs at the letter as SQ enters the office and asks his dad who sent them a Christmas card. Curtain replies that it’s junk mail and throws the letter in the trash.

SQ then nervously asks his father why they aren’t celebrating Christmas this year. Curtain replies that he understands this is a disappointment, but explains that he can’t afford to relax when his brother (Nicholas) is spreading lies about them. However, he tells SQ that he got him some lovely art supplies to make up for it, and promises that they’ll have a lovely celebration next year. SQ is visibly disappointed, but tries his best to sound grateful and wishes his dad a Merry Christmas before going back to his room.

Meanwhile, Curtain, who is still upset about the holiday (which he views as a waste of time) and Nicholas’ letter, angrily settles in for a night of hard work.

And that’s when the haunting begins.

For this AU, Jacob Marley is the ghost of SQ's dad, since he's dead, and he and Curtain worked together. But in this version, he isn't a chained up ghost (because he wasn't a bad person in life), but he is still a sad ghost. He asks Curtain why he's trying to control the world and begs him to change his ways. Curtain is startled, but believing the ghost to be a hallucination, insists that what he's doing is best for their son and best for the world. When SQ's bio dad's ghost challenges him on this, Curtain slowly begins to accept that he might be real, but grows tired of being criticized and says that this is what he had to do to survive and move on after SQ’s bio parent’s deaths. SQ's bio dad sadly replies Curtain has one last chance to change, but that he will be haunted by three spirits. He then disappears, and Curtain believes it to be a dream.

He dozes off and awakens later to see what he believes to be his brother Nicholas surrounded by a glowing light. But not Nicholas as he knows him, but the child version of his brother, who introduces himself as the ghost of Christmas past. Curtain reluctantly follows the ghost, who leads him through memories of Nathaniel celebrating Christmas with Nicholas. Even though they didn't have much at the orphanage (and heck, they don’t even know if their birth family even celebrated Christmas or any holiday at all), they always did their best to give each other nice gifts and make the holiday their own. The ghost reminds Curtain that this was something he looked forward to every year, and suggests that Curtain misses spending the holidays with his brother. Curtain scoffs and dismisses the warm feelings, stating coldly that Nicholas never really loved or appreciated him (though he doesn't quite look like he believes what he's saying and a part of him wishes it wasn't true).

The little ghost seems very sad to hear Curtain's words, but reluctantly takes him to his next memory, which is of Curtain celebrating Christmas with Garrison, Milligan, and SQ's birth parents back when they were his employees and Curtain wasn't as evil or uptight as he is now. Milligan (who I guess is a stand in for Fezziwig in this AU), is the one who insists that they have a celebration and break from their work, and they all have fun together. Curtain, for a moment, gets swept up in the good feelings. The ghost notes that Curtain never does anything like this for his current employees, which Curtain dismisses by saying that things are different now, and they'll have time for celebrations later, after they've won.

The ghost then points out SQ's birth parents and reminds Curtain that this was the last Christmas they spent together before they died. Curtain tries to talk to them, and ask SQ's birth father why he appeared in his bedroom earlier, but the ghost tells him that these are only memories, shadows of what was. No one here can hear them, and Curtain can't interact with any of them.

They continue to watch SQ's birth parents, and Curtain, in a moment of sentimentality, does admit that they were good friends and good people. The ghost says it's a pity they died without having children, and Curtain corrects him by saying that they did have a child. The ghost remarks that Curtain is right: they had his son SQ (so I guess SQ's birth parents and SQ are also stand ins for Fred and Fran).

Curtain then sees a memory of him spending one of his first Christmases with baby SQ, right after his birth parents die. He promises his son that even though his parents are gone, he’ll make sure that he always feels loved and knows that he has a father who loves him. The ghost then asks if SQ enjoys Christmas parties as much as his birth parents. Curtain is too ashamed to talk about it, and mutters that it's unimportant.

Now, if you want to make this an exact Christmas Carol AU, I could also insert a scene here of Garrison friend zoning Curtain and asking him to keep their relationship professional after SQ's birth parents die and she watches Curtain slowly turn into a worse and worse person. This would parallel Scrooge getting rejected by Belle and feed into the Garrison and Curtain divorce drama agenda™️, but it's take it or leave it.

Either way, at this point, the emotions of the memories lead Curtain to the verge of a narcoleptic attack, which he dismisses by declaring that the past doesn't matter and he doesn't care about it. He tries to snuff out the ghost's light, but that only makes it glow even more, as it's face transforms into the faces of Curtain's old friends and family and the scene changes between the different memories shown to Curtain. In frustration, Curtain throws an blanket over the ghost when they are back in his bedroom and the ghost disappears.

And of course, now that Curtain finds himself back in his bedroom in the present, who does he find but the ghost of Christmas present. The ghost again looks like Nicholas, but different somehow, in a way Curtain can't quite explain. The ghost does look joyful and at peace, which is very much a Nicholas way of being, but also very professional, and he's dressed more the way Curtain usually dresses, just in Christmas colors instead of the usual blue.

The ghost takes him to Nicholas' house, where Curtain sees Nicholas and his family celebrating Christmas. The children are playing a guessing game (like Fred's friends in the original story), and Constance asks them to guess something that's exactly like Mr. Benedict, but awful in every way, immature, sad, and dumb. Everyone is confused as to how something that resembles Mr. Benedict could possibly be so awful, but then Reynie realizes the answer is Curtain, and everyone laughs (though Nicholas looks a bit sad).

Curtain is insulted and tells the children off for being rude, only for the ghost to remind him that they can't hear him. Curtain watches the party for a bit, at first insisting that it's stupid and he wouldn't have wanted to come anyway, but he slowly beings to participate in the games (getting especially frustrated when people have trouble guessing obvious answers), and actually enjoys himself. When the ghost points it out to him, Curtain has a moment where he realizes, to his shame, that this is always what he's wanted: Christmas with a family. But he rejects the thought as soon as it comes.

Then he notices Kate struggling with the injuries she received from his men at the Institute, and notices the worry on Milligan and Nicholas' faces (She's Tiny Tim in this AU). He asks the ghost if Kate will be okay, and the ghost replies that Kate is more injured then she's letting on, and warns Curtain that she'll put on a brave face if it means stopping him and protecting her family, even if it means injuring herself more permanently. Curtain accuses the ghost of blaming him for Kate's condition, and the ghost replies that he's merely answering Curtain's question. Curtain scoffs and says that this is stupid anyway. He has his own family and doesn't need or care about Nicholas'.

The ghost nods and takes him back to the compound, where he sees Jackson and Jillson celebrating Christmas by frantically trying to get everything together for Curtain as Marlon yells at them to work faster. The ghost comments that Marlon seems to have a very different attitude towards his underlings on Christmas than Milligan did, and asks Curtain whether he thinks this is an improvement to the work environment. Curtain replies that unlike Milligan, Marlon is loyal, and that's something to be valued. The ghost observes that Jackson and Jillson certainly seem loyal too. Curtain overhears how miserable Jackson and Jillson are, and that they don't really care about Marlon, but they follow his orders because they don't want to disappoint Dr. Curtain. Jackson and Jillson both reveal that they look up to Curtain and genuinely want to do a good job for him. They also wonder whether Dr. Curtain is proud of them or appreciates their work. Curtain realizes that he's never once thanked either of them.

He then sees SQ on Christmas, surrounded by all the fancy art supplies that Curtain gets him every year. SQ talks to an old photo of his birth parents and comments that this is nice, and he doesn't want to see ungrateful, but he wishes that he had friends and family to celebrate Christmas with, and that his dad wasn't always so busy. Although he knows his son can't hear him, Curtain says aloud that he didn't realize that this was making his son so miserable, and promises that once his plans come to fruition, they are going to have many wonderful Christmases together. SQ doesn't hear him or respond, he just sighs, puts the photo away, and goes to bed.

The ghost then tells Curtain they have one last person to see: Garrison (who is also a version of Bob Cratchit in this, I guess she and Milligan sort of share the role).

Curtain watches Garrison get out of bed and sneak out of the compound. He's surprised she found a way to do that, but follows her down the street. She walks past a church with a bulletin board outside and stares at it for a few minutes, as if debating what to do. When people begin showing up for the Christmas mass, she sighs and quickly continues down the street before anyone gets the chance to talk to her. Confused, Curtain looks at the bulletin board and realizes the church is also a space used for alcoholics anonymous meetings. Garrison continues down the street until she comes to an crossroads, one of which leads to the train station, the other leads to a local bar. Garrison stares at the train station for a long time, trembling and shivering, before she decides to go the bar instead. Curtain watches her down several drinks before stumbling into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror and muttering that she's a pathetic coward for not being strong enough to leave or ask for help. Curtain tries to tell her this isn't true, but the ghost reminds him that she can't hear him. Curtain comments that this doesn't make sense, since he thought Garrison had succeeded in staying sober. He and the ghost listen to Garrison declare that she deserves all the terrible things the alcohol is doing to her and that Curtain deserves this too, because he drove her to this. The ghost sadly explains that Garrison took up drinking again after Curtain started using her happiness on people.

Curtain, frustrated at being "blamed for all of this" angrily insists that if he'd know this was a problem, he'd have done something to help. He follows Garrison outside, trying to get her attention as she stumbles outside into the snow, shivering and shaking all the way back to the compound. The ghost follows too, telling Curtain that his time is almost up. The ghost looks noticeably older by now, and in fact has been slowly aging this entire time, but Curtain ignores this and tries to run after Garrison, but the snow starts falling faster, swirling all around him, and Garrison disappears in the dark and snow. Church bells start chiming. The ghost informs Curtain that his time is up. The ghost of Christmas present disappears and Curtain finds himself alone on a dark street, and the swirling snow around him has now vanished.

He turns and sees a figure covered in a black robe hobbling out of the darkness. Curtain asks if he is the ghost of Christmas future. The ghost doesn't answer, he merely nods and beckons Curtain to follow him.

The first place he goes is an insane asylum. In it he finds Garrison, and overhears her caretakers talking about how she really got a bad deal working for that "horrible man". It's implied that Nicholas defeated Curtain, and in the aftermath, Garrison's history of substance abuse and mental illness got her declared insane, so instead of sending her to prison, she was placed here. She looks completely miserable and has a dead and far off look in her eyes, and doesn't really speak at all. She only whispers "it's my fault" over and over again. Disturbed, Curtain whisperers to her that he'll make sure this doesn't happen, but she doesn't seem able to hear him, and Curtain is really creeped out by her staring and wonders what could have happened to make her like this.

Curtain then finds himself in an old and dirty factory, where he finds Jackson working alone. It's revealed that since Jackson and Jillson were legally over 18, they went to trial as adults. Nicholas did his best to keep them from prison, but the courts forcibly separated them, and since neither have very good job skills and both have criminal records, they each work in factories in different parts of the country, where they are exploited and forced to work in horrible conditions for very low wages. They both dream of saving enough money to be able to find each other again, but Curtain can tell that neither of them could possibly save enough for that. He calls what happened to them cruel and blames Nicholas for it, since this is apparently the result of Nicholas defeating him. He demands to be taken to the Benedict residence.

The ghost still doesn't speak, but complies. Curtain finds the Benedicts (and friends) celebrating Christmas, but they are not as happy as before. Milligan and Kate are notably absent. The mood is extremely somber. Curtain is confused, saying that they won, so they should be happy. He then overhears Nicholas privately tell Number Two and Rhonda that he wishes he could have been allowed custody of SQ after Curtain went to prison and done more to help him, to which Curtain yells that Nicholas ought to stay far away from his family. Nicholas doesn't hear him, and the subject of Nicholas visiting Curtain in prison comes up. Apparently, Nicholas has not gone to see Curtain once. Nicholas feels guilty about this, but also says it's going to be hard to face his brother after everything he took from them. Nicholas then sighs and admits that his friends were right: the brother he knew really is gone for good.

Nicholas gets emotional and leaves to have a moment alone. Curtain goes after him, yelling after him that Nicholas is one to talk considering the brother he remembers was one he was so eager to leave behind. Although he can't hear him, Nicholas breaks down into tears the second he's alone, admitting to himself that he knows he's the reason Nathaniel is gone forever, he's the reason there's only Curtain now. Curtain then realizes that this is the first time he’s heard Nicholas call him "Curtain" instead of "Nathaniel" and is disturbed by it, wondering what prompting Nicholas to starting calling him by that name.

Curtain then addresses the ghost, asking him what the meaning of this is. Why is Nicholas acting like this when he's the one who won? What could he possibly be so upset about now, he already knows Curtain is his brother? The ghost takes him to a graveyard where he sees Milligan sitting by a grave stone that's surrounded by flowers, cards, and candles.

Milligan apologizes to the grave stone, saying that he should have been more vigilant, that he should have prevented "her" from facing off against such a dangerous enemy all alone while recovering from an injury. But he then adds that he knows she did it because she cared about her friends and wanted to save them, without ever thinking of herself. Milligan then tearfully apologizes for losing her again so soon and declares that even though they only had a short time together, he was proud to have her as his daughter. He then says "Merry Christmas Katie-Cat" before sadly leaving the graveyard.

Curtain is shocked to find that Kate is dead and from hearing the comments of some passersby as they watch Milligan (looking like a shell of his former self) leave the graveyard, learns to his horror that in this future, Kate fought through her injuries and tried to fight some of Curtain's men alone, an action that resulted in her accidental death when she slipped off a ledge. The people at the graveyard shake their heads and comment how sad they feel for poor Milligan. They also express their disgust at how awful and terrible Curtain is, saying that prison time is still too merciful of a sentence for such a terrible crime against such a brave and selfless child.

Curtain is suddenly back in the Benedict residence and hears Number Two comment that it's a shame Mr. Benedict still blames himself when his brother is the one who is a murderer. The others agree.

The ghost raises his hand again, as if about to show Curtain another scene from his future, when Curtain grabs his arm to stop him, insisting that he's not a murderer, and that he never intended for this. In a moment of panic and desperation, he insists that the only reason the future is like this is because Nicholas and his friends won. In a world where he won, none of this would have happened! Curtain demands that the ghost show him that future, the better future, the one where he won instead. The ghost complies.

Curtain declares that in this future, everyone will be happy and better off, and at first, this does seem to be true. Instead of insulting, mocking, and belittling him, everyone on the streets cheerfully discusses how wonderful Curtain is. He's considered a hero and visionary. Curtain is pleased by this. He then sees Jackson and Jillson, smiling and agreeing with the other passersby. However, the second they are alone, Jackson and Jillson drop there fake smiles and start sobbing with guilt about what's going to happen to these people being all their fault, and they express regret at having ever followed Curtain and their role in helping destroy the world. Curtain is confused, and askes the ghost what they could possibly be talking about when everyone else seems so happy.

The ghost then takes him to the compound to show Curtain what has become of his followers, Nicholas, and the society. Curtain is relieved to see them all alive and well, but slowly realizes they they aren't moving. As he explores the compound, he discovers that this is the fate of everyone here, Nicholas and the children included, and a consequence of the happiness technique that's spreading out of control across the world. He starts to panic, thinking of what he can do to stop this, and then realizes that Garrison would know what to do. He demands the ghost take him to Garrison immediately.

The ghost takes Curtain back to the same graveyard from earlier. Curtain is upset, saying that he saw that Kate was alive (but frozen with the others) in this future, and insists that she and the others will be fine as soon as he finds Garrison and asks her how to reverse whatever is happening. The ghost merely points to a gravestone, which has Garrison's name on it now instead of Kate’s, and is barren and empty compared to how Kate's grave looked before with all the cards and flowers. A newspaper flutters past Curtain's feet, revealing that after seeing what her happiness was doing to the world, Garrison blamed herself and drank herself to death out of guilt. Frustrated, Curtain yells at the ghost to stop showing him all these horrible things, but the ghost does not reply.

Curtain, growing increasingly frustrated, says this isn't what he wants either, and the ghost finally speaks, and asks Curtain what sort of future he does want if he is so unsatisfied with futures where he wins and loses. Curtain breaks down and finally fully admits the truth (both to the ghost and to himself) and confesses that he wants what he's always wanted since the orphanage: a future where he can be happy with his family on Christmas.

The ghost tells Curtain that his family is the one thing that remains the same in both futures.

Curtain finds himself standing in front of an unfamiliar, but nice looking house. After peering through the windows, he sees a family that seems to be celebrating Christmas, or some sort of holiday together. A first, Curtain is confused. This isn’t his family, so why would the ghost bring him here? But still, he knocks on the door, and finds to his surprise that this time his hands are solid, and he can actually knock on it. A young teenager that looks like SQ answers the door, and to Curtain's surprise, the boy can actually see him. Curtain tentatively asks if the boy is SQ, and the boy shakes his head and calls for his father. Curtain then realizes he is at the home of future SQ and the people inside the house are his son's friends and children (Curtain's grandchildren).

When grown up SQ comes to the door, he is upset by the sight of his dad and protectively tells his children and family to go back inside and let him handle this. Curtain asks SQ to let him come in, so that he can meet his grandchildren and have a chance to be in his son's life again, but SQ angrily refuses and declares that he won’t let his father hurt his family anymore. Curtain begs him for a second chance, but SQ tells him that he threw that opportunity away a long time ago. SQ also tells Curtain that he'll do anything to protect his family, and threatens to contact the authorities if he ever comes to their house again.

After the door is closed in Curtain's face, the ghost of Christmas future restates that this is the one thing that remains the same in both futures.

In the future where Curtain won, he was unable to bring himself to use the happiness technique on SQ after seeing what it did to Nicholas, and SQ, horrified by what his father had done to control the world, spends the rest of his life running away and establishing a new identity and life so he could be free of his father. When Curtain eventually tracks down his son, he is turned away and SQ threatens to hurt his own father if he ever dares approach his family again, for fear his will use the happiness on him or his children.

In the future where Curtain lost, he eventually gets paroled out of prison decades later as a very old man and goes to find his son, only to be turned away in a similar manner because of what he did to Kate after being informed that SQ has a restraining order against him.

Curtain, in tears, yells at the ghost and demands to know who he is and why he is doing this to him. The ghost lowers his hood to reveal the face of future Curtain as an old man, and Curtain finally realizes that the ghosts he was seeing weren't alternate versions of Nicholas at all, but distorted reflections of himself. The ghost of who he was, the ghost of who he could be, and the ghost of who he will become. Curtain gasps and stumbles back. As he does so, he catches a glimpse of his face in the window and realizes that he now looks old too. He turns back to the ghost, only to find that the ghost has disappeared, and this is his life now.

He starts to panicking and running the streets, looking for someone who can help him, but his visions of the two futures begin merging together and everywhere he turns he either sees unsettling groups of people under his happiness technique staring at him with creepy frozen smiles, unable to move, or people jeering, spitting at him, and shoving him as they call him a criminal and a murderer.

Finally, Curtain starts breaking down in tears, begging God, the universe, or anyone who is listening for a chance to go back and change things. Then his narcolepsy takes control and he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he runs through the compound and grabs Jackson by the shoulders asking him what day it is. Jackson replies that it's Christmas (and Jillson, who of course is next to him adds "December 25th to be precise"). Nathaniel is so relieved and overjoyed, and hugs them both, which confuses Jackson and Jillson. Nathaniel immediately orders them to prepare to attend a Christmas party and gives them a list of presents to buy. Jackson and Jillson are confused, but happy with their new assignments.

Nathaniel then finds Garrison trying to escape the compound. Because Nathaniel is still the insane dramatic theater kid that he is, he does the fake out thing Scrooge does to Bob where he yells at her and backs her into a corner. Garrison cowers in fear, only for Nathaniel to hug her and promise her that he's going to raise her pay, publicly declare her innocent, get her help for her alcoholism, and put her in charge of their entire operation just before he confesses to his crimes and goes to prison after celebrating Christmas with his family.

Garrison, believing him to have gone insane, asks if he tried to use the technique on himself or if he's having a mental breakdown, but after a thorough examination, realizes to her surprise that he is being sincere. Nathaniel begs her to join him for Christmas, and with no where else to go, and too shocked to come up with any excuse, she agrees.

Nathaniel then grabs all of the employment records, addresses, and information he has on the Wetheralls before Milligan's brain sweeping (with generous financial compensation) and sends it to their house (similar to how Scrooge sent the turkey to Bob Crathcit's house).

He then finds SQ and declares that he was wrong about Christmas, family, and everything, and begs him for a second chance. SQ is surprised to see his father actually apologizing to him that he agrees, even as Nathaniel starts telling him the truth about his narcolepsy, his evil plans, Nicholas, everything. It's a lot for SQ to take in, but he's happy his dad is coming clean and being honest with him, as shocking as it might be. He's also pleasantly surprised to see his dad seems genuinely happy.

Nathaniel then takes SQ, Garrison, and Jackson and Jillson with him to Nicholas’ Christmas Party ("But Bods, aren't the Benedicts in America and the compound is in Italy, do they teleport now?" "Nathaniel has private jets now." "Uh... okay, but it would still take hours-" "Don't question the magic of Christmas").

Nicholas' friends start threatening Nathaniel immediately, assuming he's there to ruin Christmas and do something horrible, but are surprised to see that Nathaniel brought gifts for all of them (surprisingly well thought out gifts too). Nathaniel introduces the others and asks Nicholas if it’s not too late to reconsider his offer and celebrate Christmas with them. Nicholas replies that it’s never too late.

Of course when all is said and done, Nathaniel serves a nice looonnnngggg community service sentence, but he's back with his family, he's good now, and all is well with the world.

*Cut to a scene of the ghosts of SQ's bio parents smiling at Nathaniel before they disappear*

I hope you guys like this!

#long post #very long post #mbs au #tmbs au #christmas carol au #christmas au #the mysterious benedict society #tmbs #mysterious benedict society #mbs disney #tmbs disney #nathaniel benedict #mbs fanfic #ledroptha curtain #ld curtain #tmbs fanfic

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klawsfangs · 8 months

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What a relationship with Klaus Mikaelson would include:

-Ok so obviously Klaus is really protective given his many enemies and he would literally do anything to keep you safe.

-Sometimes that can be exhausting since him beeing overprotective will probably end up with him not wanting you to go anywhere without him.

-that also includes : You want to go to a party with your friends? Cool klaus surprisingly has time too. You want to go to a concert of your favorite artist? How nice klaus also really likes the artist and yes he would love to go to this concert with you. You wanna go out to the bakery to get a cake? ,,don't stress yourself love, I will pick it up for you"

-so be prepared that he will pretty much follow you everywhere or makes sure that you don't even leave the house.

-even tho after some time it can start to get annoying you know that he only does that because he loves you sm and is scared to be without you

-let's discuss that "scared" topic a bit more. Klaus isn't really one to show his emotions and feelings. So when he opens up to you, you can be certain that you really are important to him.

-Once you gained his trust, which will be a hard and long way, he will literally talk to you all the time. His enemies tried to do that. His siblings annoyed him with that. He killed that person because of that.

-you will soon learn that he talkes about it sm because he wants to be understood. He wouldn't want you to be afraid of him or mad because of the things he does. He wants you to know his reasoning behind his actions so that you won't leave him.

-but if he does soemthing that really upsets you oh lord he would stop at nothing to earn your forgiveness. From your favorite flowers till a big vacation to your favorite country.

-we all know that klaus is soemone with MUCH pride so he isn't soemone that would normally beg. But if he really messed up then he would even get on his knees for you for sure. After all this man is completely wiped for you.

-He would do just about anything if you asked him too. Backstage tickets for your fav event? This new restaurant that just opend? This island that you really wanna travel to? Please he's klaus freaking mikaelson, he already booked and bought all of that for you.

-which brings us to our next topic. Gifts. Now this man knows how to give gifts. He know all your desires and wishes even tho you might never told him. One sparkling in your eyes when you look at soemthing? Well he knows what to give you to Christmas then.

-he has access to things and clothes you could only dream of. 1000 years of collection pays off. He will always have just the perfect present for you at hand. And he will always be happy to spoil you with them.

-When it comes to spoiling he really knows no end. Just this little things like your favorite flowers or the new book that you wanted will be daily received by you from him. But it can also be much bigger things like the car you always dreamed of. And if you want to go shopping well he his money is yours so don't even think about using your own money.

-how ever even tho all this things sound nice, there are some things that will also be unavoidable when you date nik.

-you will for sure get kidnapped by his enemies from time to time. Yes klaus will always get you back and protect you but still that can leave damage on you. You're in danger of getting anxiety, trust issues, panic attacks and other unpleasant things. After all kidnapping is not soemthing you just forget about, especially not when it happens often and not just once.

-You will get dragged into the Mikaelson family drama. No way around that🤷‍♀️ So believe me when I tell you it will never get bored with them. You will get involved in fights that aren't yours and you will not be able to get out of all of that easily.

-klaus however always tells you that he can send you away till the fight is over or that you will stay at the compound the whole time. He would never be disappointed or mad at you if you choose to not fight. He will always be there for you to comfort you and protect you when you need him and he will never drag you to things you don't want.

-in general he would never be disappointed in you. You broke his car? ,,it's okay my love I'm not mad, I will just buy me a new one" You accidentally failed the task he gave you?,, no need to be angry with yourself sweetheart, we will just do it together tomorrow" God you could even lose the damn white oak stake and he still wouldn't be really angry at you. Sure he would be a bit tensed and mad but he would never let that out on you.

- klaus is also surprisingly willing to cuddle with you. He will always want to make sure that you are warm, safe and comfortable. And where is a better place for that than in his arms?

-it doesn't matter if he's spooning you, if you lay your head on his chest or if you are fully on top of him as long as he can hold you in some way. Soemtimes if he had a bad day or soemthing he would even be the one coming to you for cuddles and not you coming to him. But psst don't tell anyone🤫

-In general klaus is really needy when if comes to your touch and attention. He can't stand when you even look at someone else. Poor boy wants to feel loved cause he never felt that before.

-he will always have a hand on you. Either its him holding your hand. Or his hand is on your tight. Or he will also often put his hand on the small of you back or around your hips.

-and if someone even dares to touch you or look at you the wrong way. Oh God stand that person by. He will probably be dead by night.

-all and all klaus is a really protective boyfriend who would stop a nothing for you. He will always shower you with love and be there for you when you need him the most.

-You are his light just as much as he is yours.

I will probably gonna do another part for the more nasty stuff😉

Goodnight everyone🤍

#klaus mikealson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson alphabet #niklaus mikaelson #boyfriend #fanfic #Spotify

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teen6ge · 1 year

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a nonsense christmas; kmg.

pairing: female!reader x bf!gyu

plot: mingyu has had it with his christmas costume... until he sees yours.

genre: fluff!!!!! a bit comedy too.

word count: 800

warnings: mentions of sexy word play(?) idk how to describe it, but anyway.

a/n: english is not my first english, so forgive me for the errors (also maybe try to disregard it idk sksmdm); i wrote this down while listening to sabrina carpenter's song that is also the title (*^‧^*) it's been quite a while since i posted something here and i do have a scenario to actually write down but i couldn't come up with anything good... anyway, if y'all want a part two or something like this with any other member, lmk! also, i do accept requests and such, so feel free! anyway, here we go. hope you enjoy it <3

"remind me why did i let you convince me into this again?" you laughed slightly at mingyu's whining while fixing his santa's clothes. you can't deny he did look good.

"i told you not to bet on soccer games with my dad, didn't i? i'm his lucky charm and he's always right." once you finished, you take a few steps back so you can look at him better.

crossing his arms and frowning, he asks "so... you're telling me my own girlfriend was the reason i lost the bet?!" as you smile and nod in agreement, he lets out a grunt in betrayal "i can't believe this!" you get closer to him again, hugging his waist while peppering kisses on his face, still not covered with the fake white beard.

"c'mon, baby... you're santa, not the grinch... let's go, my little cousins are going to freak out! oh and don't forget the beard."

the christmas party at your parents house was always a huge event. ever since you were little, your house would be filled with your family and your parents' friends. that was actually how you met mingyu and his parents. you were 6 and he was 8 at the time and you both would go play with other kids around the house. you always had a crush on him, but he only found out when you were graduating high school.

actually, his graduation gift for you was a kiss when he finally got you alone. and, without realising it, he was also your first kiss. ever since then, you started going out and, soon enough, you were dating. you are together for 5 years now and you've never been happier.

thinking about all those years, all those memories makes your heart flutter, and you can't believe how lucky you are to have met your soulmate ever since you were little. looking at him now, watching as he attentively listens to your little cousin asks for her christmas gift. she's sitting on his lap, his eyes focusing on her while he forces a different voice to talk to her so she doesn't know he is mingyu.

you excuse yourself while you run to the pool house, where you and mingyu are going to sleep tonight, and you close the curtains so nobody could look at what you are going to do. mingyu doesn't have to suffer alone with a christmas costume.

the second mingyu closes the door to the pool house, he lets his body rest against it while closing his eyes and removing the stupid hot fake beard and beanie, throwing it to the side. he sighs heavily, voice tired as he speaks. "baby, i swear to god i'll never ever bet with your dad again. you're absolutely right. fuck, this costume is horrible."

with no answer to his complaint, mingyu opens his eyes, frowning when he notices the room is completely dark and silent. he had seen you enter the pool house an hour ago, just assuming you were already too tired to continue partying. it's not like the party went on for too long, but he missed you a lot. but then... it's unusual for him to think that you'd sleep in the dark, he knows you too well that you can only rest properly if there's at least a lamp on.

taking a few steps towards the light switch, mingyu calls out your name, obviously not receiving an answer. the second his finger turn the lights on, the whole place lits up with fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. when mingyu looks at you, his jaw drops with how stunning and stupidly hot you look, which makes you smile satisfied.

you're wearing a mini red skirt with white fluffy edges that matches with your tank top and your santa beanie, along with thigh high black boots and gloves adorning your hands. there's also a string of the fairy lights around your body and a candy cane in your mouth while you're on your knees on the bed.

"surprise!" you say with little difficulty due to the candy. mingyu hasn't moved since he layed his eyes on you, afraid he will wake up at any moment now. you tilt your head a little to the side, candy falling from your lips so you could talk to him better. "gyu?"

it takes a few seconds for mingyu to recompose himself and finally close his mouth, now rubbing his face with both of his hands. oh, this is real he thinks to himself.

"baby, what... how... when did you...?" yep, you broke him. you laugh at his reaction, finally untangling yourself and standing up to walk towards him.

"well... isn't santa going to take care of his misses claus?" your hands pull him closer by his belt, smiling while biting your lip. now it's his turn to laugh.

"yeah... i've got a huge north pole and big snow balls for her as a christmas gift."

#seventeen #mingyu svt #mingyu fluff #mingyu scenarios #mingyu fanfic #svt fluff #svt christmas #christmas scenarios #svt scenarios #scenarios #kpop scenarios #kim mingyu fluff #kim mingyu scenario

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dollanganger-in-the-attic · 1 year

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V.C. Andrews Archive Collection

Hey guys! I just got back from visiting the V.C. Andrews archive collection full of super rare vca history! I took a ton of pictures and notes on what I saw- including the original manuscript for Flowers in the Attic back when it was called “Open the Window and Stand in the Sunshine” and the two manuscripts for Petals on the Wind called “Where the Greener Grass Grows” and “Reaching for Roses”! I’ll share my notes and some photos here, but for copyright reasons I’ll be keeping most of the photos in my private VCA discord. So DM me for an invite link if you want to join 😁✨

My notes on the manuscripts below ...

Vca Collection

Notes about the collection:

The collection consists of 12 archival boxes filled with manuscripts, photos, news clippings, letters and more. With the time I had I was only able to look through half of the boxes, I mainly focused on the various Flowers in the Attic and Petals on the Wind manuscripts. I was allowed to take as many pictures as I needed as long as I used the copyright protection sheet you will notice. Obviously for copyright reasons I couldn’t take too many photos of consecutive pages, so forgive me for the page jumps. Here are my findings, enjoy!

Box 1

“Open the Window and Stand in the Sunshine” manuscript

Pages photographed:

1,2,3, 9, 27, 33, 66, 87, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 154, 155, 156, 158, 159, 160, 161, 165, 169, 176, 180, 184, 185, 191, 193 (end)

Notes:

This is a typed manuscript of what eventually became Flowers in the Attic. It had the title “Open the Window and Stand in the Sunshine” by Cleo Virginia Andrews. This manuscript has the same plot but is overall a completely different book. It is in 3rd person perspective mostly following Cathy but also sometimes Chris. It doesn’t feel like Cathy’s story, instead it feels like the 4 children make up one main character.

It is 17 chapters long with no prologue or epilogue. The first chapter is only 9 typed pages. The story begins with Chris Sr. already being dead. Corrine has just received a response from her parents agreeing to take them in. Corrine tells the children immediately about why she was disinherited, being that their father was her half uncle. And she tells the children they will have to stay in an upstairs room, quiet and secret, for several months. At the time the children didnt see it as a big deal.

From what I could tell, Cathy and Chris never committed incest. But there were many scenes where their closeness was questionable. For instance, in chapter 3 Chris gets into the bath with Cathy and holds her. They read the porn magazines together and discuss them.

In chapter 5 Corrine warns the children that the forces in the house might make her behave and think differently than she normally would.

There are many differences in how the children spend their time. They have a TV much earlier in the story and spend a lot of time discussing the shows they watch. They ask for a toaster at one point.

In chapter 9, when Chris explores the house after the Christmas Party, we follow him in 3rd person rather than hear from his perspective later.

At one point Chris has to hide under the bed and hear his mother getting it on with Bart.

There is mention of Cathy keeping many detailed journals of their everyday life.

Chris enjoys dancing with Cathy in the attic they know many different dances.

Chris and Cathy get whipped for sleeping in the same bed but Cathy is not told to cut her hair. In fact the grandma tells her to hold her hair out of the way so the whip wont rip it out.

Cathy still kisses Bart and Chris hears Bart speculating that they're being robbed but Chris does not get mad and he doesn't assault Cathy. I don't even think he brings the kiss up to Cathy.

Chris wishes that they had run away sooner rather than being the one insisting they wait longer and longer. He seems to blame himself often for ever believing in their mother.

They all get sick slowly over time and throw up often. But they blame the sickness on their food being spoiled.

They get a polaroid camera for christmas and take hundreds of pictures to fill the attic.

Cathy doesnt resent her mother much more than chris. They both want to believe in their mom and make promises to her.

When Cory gets very sick, the grandmother seems to worry that their mother brought them sweets. She feels Cory's head for fever and asks them if their milk or meat seemed spoiled. Corrine doesnt seem to care, she asks them not to get seriously sick before christmas and checks her watch. She tells them to wait until the next day to see if he doesnt get better. The grandmother returns with alka seltzer to help cory’s stomach. Once the children have gone to sleep the grandmother returns in the night to check on cory once more. The next morning Cory is better.

Later cory gets sick again and it is agreed that he needs hospital attention. Corrine takes cory to the hospital promising he will get oxygen and penicillin. But still he dies and is claimed to be buried.

We get to follow Chris as he explores the house for the last time before their escape. He gets a gun somehow and finds the grandfather’s room empty.

Chris hears John Amos laughing about the attic mice being poisoned. Chris runs back to the room to convince Cathy that their mother has been poisoning them. Cathy doesn’t want to believe their mother was involved but Chris insists on it and tells her they must escape now. They make it known that the grandfather was dead BEFORE the powdered donuts showed up.

After escaping, Chris gives Cathy the choice to turn mickey’s body in as evidence for Corrine and Olivia’s crimes but Cathy throws it out. Chris seems disappointed that they will go unpunished but Cathy reveals that she left a candle burning near the paper flowers. However she tells Chris if God doesn’t want anyone to die in a house fire then he can blow the candle out through the window she left open.

“Flowers in the Attic” by Adrienne Vale manuscript

Pages photographed:

Cover, 1, 2, 3, 124, 295 (end)

Notes:

I didn’t get a chance to read this one thoroughly, I only flipped through it. It seemed to be very close to the published version of Fita. It is in 1st person and begins with what is now the prologue. Included is the 1st page of a previous draft, where the prologue part is shorter and a bit different. The first chapter begins with Chris sr. dead and quickly describes their grief as Corrine writes to her parents.

An interesting scene is where Cathy experiences german-guilt over the holocaust after seeing (what i presume was a movie, I didnt go back to look) and reveals that their father, Chris sr., fought in WWII. Chris comments that Foxworths only die from accidents. Cathy comments on her and her father both being Aries.

Once again the story ends with Cathy thinking about the candle she left burning in the attic by the paper flowers, and bitterly thinks that the house wont burn down if God blows it out through the open window.

“Julian the Bold” chapter

Pages photographed:

135, 136, 137, 138,

Notes:

And unused chapter from Reaching for Roses, a manuscript for what eventually became Petals on the Wind. (See below for more on Reaching for Roses)

The chapter begins with Cathy outside a drug store being harassed by boys. She feels afraid and alone but Julian comes to her rescue. Lots of homophobic language in this chapter, especially the f word. In the rain Julian fights this group of 5 footballers, elegantly avoiding all their blows and beating their asses. Cathy is just starstruck by him and even says she would die for him in that moment!

Some bystander girls start cheering on the jocks to knife Julian, with more homophobic jeers. Pissed, Cathy kicks the knife from one jocks hand and stands back to back with julian to fight with him. He tells her to run as he holds them off, but a group of guys from their ballet class run to their defense. Julian still throws Cathy to safety so she wont be trampled, and soon the cops arrived sending everyone fleeing into the drug store.

Box 7

“Reaching for Roses” petals on the wind manuscript

Pages photographed:

Cover, 293, 294, 295, 296, 297, 479, 636, 637, 640, 641, 642, 643, 644, 649,

Notes:

A manuscript which later became Petals on the Wind. This seems to be a second completed manuscript after a previous one titled “Where the Greener Grass Grows”. (Read more about that below)

I didn’t get a chance to read through these manuscripts because there were a TON of folders full of completed typed manuscripts, manuscripts written in pen on looseleaf paper, and carbon paper copies. It was overwhelming. But here are some interesting bits I did see.

There are some letters Cathy wrote to Chris and Paul which were unused in the published book.

In the chapter where Cathy confronts Corrine during the Christmas party, Cathy points out that Corrine only started serving the donuts AFTER her father died. Corrine seems unsure what to say but then blames John Amos. She claims John made her do it so he could inherit his own portion of the fortune.

Now here’s the craziest part. Corries has a young man with her named Gary. She claims that this Gary is actually CORY. She says that once Cory was at the hospital, she told Olivia and the kids he had died. But secretly she had taken him to an orphanage where he was later adopted by Bart’s sister. She claims the pneumonia gave Cory amnesia. Cathy doesn’t buy it, she examines and questions Gary but can’t come to a proper conclusion. He’s much taller than Carrie ever got, and he has no cowlick. Bart claims it all makes sense now why Corrine dotes on Gary so much and always had to see him. But Cathy insists that shes just insane and wanted to believe this random orphan was Cory.

Cathy lies and tells Corrine that one of Chris’s chemistry sets had a blood test function, so they know Cory has blood type O negative, which is rare, so if they test Gary’s blood it should confirm if he truly is Cory. Corrine is shaken by this and seems to lose conviction. Then Cathy claims she knows exactly where Cory’s skeleton is in the attic, and Corrine loses it. Chris comes in as Corrine runs off. Bart asks Chris to confirm if Gary is Cory. Chris seems uninterested and doesn’t really care if he is or isn’t Cory. But in the end he says Gary’s hair color is too different from their own, so he’s not convinced.

Gary says he may be Cory, he has no memories of his childhood and sometimes feels that he remembers Corrine at his bedside in the hospital crying. But in the end Gary only cares about his adoptive mother because she’s the only person who has ever claimed him as her own, so he leaves.

Bart tells Cathy that he really had only been with Corrine for her money, but now he wants to be with Cathy.

After the house burns down, Corrine is taken away in a straight jacket and Bart is found dead with Olivia clinging to him. They died from the smoke.

Box 9

“Where the Greener Grass Grows” petals on the wind manuscript

Pages photographed:

Page 1 looseleaf, 101, 336 carbon, 337 carbon, 342 carbon, 343 carbon, 344 carbon, 345 carbon, 346 carbon (end 1), 484, 485, 486 (end 2)

Notes:

This was an earlier manuscript for what eventually became Petals on the Wind. I suspect this was the very first manuscript, which came before “Reaching for Roses” (see above).

This one was difficult to piece together since it was split into several folders and collected through loose leaf paper written in pen, typed pages from several iterations of the corrected manuscripts, and carbon paper copies. There is no typed version of the first chapter, and among the several folders the pages are not always in numeric order. Some pages have multiple copies in both typed and carbon paper copied form, and many pages are missing altogether. It was difficult to read so I wasn’t able to record much. But here are some of the interesting findings.

This manuscript is in 3rd person much like the original Fita manuscript. I wonder if she always writes her first drafts in 3rd person?

We get to see Cathy and Chris described through a stranger’s eyes (paul). He describes Chris as a “young god” lmao

In this version there are police and detectives. There is a court trial where John Amos is arrested for everything. Bart played a role in his arrest, and is actually a senator at this point. Corrine is dead, actually murdered (by john amos?), and her name was cleared. Cathy even wishes for her mother’s forgiveness as it seems Corrine actually hadnt been the one trying to kill them. Bart also suggests that they go visit Olivia, he tells Cathy that the grandmother has changed and is lonely now.

Corrine left a will which divides her fortune 4 ways.

Carrie had a baby but Carrie still died, and now that baby is in Cathy’s care. Chris has a wife named Sarah.

Cathy and Paul are married much earlier. Paul has a 16 year old son with a woman named Leona, and Cathy wants the boy to live with herself and Paul. His first wife and son scotty are dead.

(Ending version 1)

A woman named Nora Kowles harassed Cathy outside the courthouse, claiming she knows about Cathy and Chris’s relationship. Chris rushes to defend Cathy but a truck hurls toward them. He pushes Cathy away and is hit by the car instead. Cathy is bleeding profusely from between her legs, she is pregnant and worries about her baby. Chris crawls over to her and asks her to say what hes always been dying to hear, and he dies in her lap. Cathy asks Bart to see that Paul gets her share of money and then she dies hugging chris on the pavement.

Paul is left to care for Carries baby until Alex (Carrie's husband) arrives to take her. He also is looking after Chris’s widow, Sarah, who never got to tell Chris she was pregnant.

Paul reads the journals Cathy kept from their time in Foxworth Hall and plans to open a free school for unfortunate children as Cathy had wished to do.

Now, as I said, there are multiple iterations of corrections to this manuscript, all bundled together. So here is the corrected ending for Where the Greener Grass Grows:

(Ending version 2)

After Chris defends Cathy from Nora’s insults, Paul warns them in time about the truck. It swerves away and both Cathy and Chris are safe. Cathy tells Paul that she chooses to stay with him instead of Bart. Paul accepts her unborn child, fathered by Bart, as his own. Chris interrupts to tell them Nora was killed by the truck, which no one is sad about. Chris and Cathy feel hopeful that the Foxworth curse has finally been lifted from them.

Jory wasn’t mentioned in either ending so I don’t think his character existed. I’m not sure if Cathy ever married Julian since she mentions how his love for her was always one sided, and she loved Paul.

“A Writer's Way to Profit from Memories” article written by VC Andrews

Pages photographed:

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7 (end)

Notes:

There were a few pages that overlapped, suggesting there were at least two drafts of this article. The last few pages seem to be printed with sentences mistakenly spliced in, so it may be confusing to read.

VCA writes that Fita is not at all an autobiography, the only similarities she has to the story is the way Cathy responds to trauma.

She explains that even as an adult, with mature rationalizations, she never forgot how it felt to experience the world and events as a child. Through this understanding of child-like perception she hoped to one day be an understanding mother.

She explains that she uses her own memories, and the memories of others to write her stories- only she exaggerates and embellishes them. She imagines what the worst possible scenario could have been in a situation she had experienced, and follows that path.

For instance, she compares Audrina’s experience in My Sweet Audrina to an experience of her own, which could have had a similar outcome if VCA had been as unlucky as Audrina.

#flowers in the attic #v.c. andrews #vc andrews #petals on the wind #dollanganger #virginia andrews #cathy dollanganger

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