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#I wish my dad and my grandma realized how she hurt me and how much seeing her again hurts me to the point I’m not even visiting my grandma
yoohyeon · 1 year
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I’M NOT SEEING MY AUNT ON CHRISTMAS !!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
#i was litterally loosing sleep over this bitch#she has covid and so is her son and she may have give it to my grandma before she tested positive#so does*#so they cancelled the day 😌#i mean I’m honestly really sad that I can see my grand mother cause I haven’t seen her in a year and half#exactly cause my aunt is always there and I fucking hate her#my dad said we are suppose to go on the first instead so I’m still not save for this goddamn meeting but at least I’m safe for another week😭#i wished my grandma was okay so we spent the day with her and not my aunt and I don’t have to see her again but yeah whatever I guess 😔#also my grandma already had covid once so I’m sure she’s gonna be okay I’m not so worried at least#i felt sick all week just to imagine myself there in the same room as her#her being all happy and act like she such a great person that never did anything wrong just cause my dad talk to her again#and my dad only talk to her cause their parents were sick most of this year and my grandpa sadly passed away#he would talk to her if it wasn’t the case#i was so mad the other day when my dad told me he buy her gifts for Christmas too cause she did so much for grandpa when he died#my dad did a lot too like maybe she helped but does he remember how disgusting she been all this year especially to me#at least my fave holiday is safe for now I don’t care about new year I’m already traumatized by the first and second of January cause of her#wether she’s there or not she already ruined for me 3 years ago#thé 31st is what is important to me cause I’m having fun with people that actually like me unlike her#I wish my dad and my grandma realized how she hurt me and how much seeing her again hurts me to the point I’m not even visiting my grandma#but they never will and will think I’m exaggerating….#I don’t get how Christmas always been my fave holiday and now I feel nothing so many people ruined it for me#I’m so goddamn sad#at least I’ll see my brother and we gonna have fun like the last 2 Christmas :(#and I’m seeing my fave family members on the 25th on my mom side well some of them#and I’m so damn sad I don’t see half of them but better than nothing I guess 🙃#last I’m sorry for not coming for days and get depress HFJDBDJD#i Needed to get this out of my chest and I’m tired to talk about that to my bestie she heard it enough :’)))#alex.txt#tw death mention
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Good Enough: Dad!Jake Sully
Avatar Masterlist 
word count: 1k
description: Once your father’s world, you start acting out when he starts ignoring you and only your father can figure out what is going on
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Jake and Neytiri were at loss, especially Jake he didn't understand what was going on with you lately and why you were acting out so much.  All you ever did anymore was talk back and argue with them, and they couldn't figure out why, usually Lo'ak was the problem child, not you. Today was the final straw when you snuck out to join the war party after Jake specifically told you to stay behind and watch Tuk and help with the wounded, something you clearly didn't agree with.
"Jesus, I let you two geniuses fly a mission and you disobey direct orders," he sighed. "Not to mention you almost got your sister killed!" He said to Neteyam and Lo'ak who you felt bad for, your dad was always so hard on them.
"I came on my own." You said rolling your eyes and making Jake whip his head in your direction.
"What did you say?" He asked.
"I said I.came.on.my.own. and that these two tried to get me to return home and I didn't listen to them, so if it's anyone's fault, it's mine." You said looking in dead in the eye as Jake was rendered speechless at you.
"I'll deal with you later." He said tiredly running a hand down his face.
"Yeah, it's always later with you." You mumbled as you left the tent and went to go see your grandmother so she could look at you.
After getting looked at by your grandma, you headed back to your tent hoping to get some sleep, making sure to avoid your father and how much he couldn't see how much you were hurting and that you were acting out to get his attention. You had been laying there silently crying when you heard your parents talking, probably assuming you were asleep.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do with her, I can't keep doing this." Your father said.
"Jake she's just going through something...l can try and talk to her." Your mother offered.
"I know she is....but why can't she be more like Neteyam or Kiri, you know?" He said breaking your heart as you realized you were never gonna be good enough for him.
"Ma Jake, don't talk like that...she is perfect just the way she is, sure her attitude could use some fixing but I still love her as the day she was born and so should you." Your mother said to him but it was too late as you knew how he truly felt.
You waited until everyone was asleep and decided to go for a night-time flight to clear your head and think about everything. You walked over to your Ikran and climbed on top of her before taking off.  After flying for a bit, you landed in a pasture and just relaxed trying to calm your thoughts wondering if one day you would be good enough for your father.
Jake was restless that night, hating that yours and his relationship were so strained, there used to be a day when you weren't seen without him and now you were practically strangers. He got up and went to check on you when he saw your tent empty making him worry as you and ikran were gone. He climbed on top of his and circled around looking for you or Ikran until he saw you both which he let out a sigh of relief.
"If you have come to yell at me or lecture me more, please go." You said not even looking at him which broke his heart.
"I haven't. Baby girl I just wanna figure out what's been going on with us lately?" He said taking a seat next to you.
"Why? It's not actually like you care." You said turning away from him and making him frown at your words.
"Hey talk to me. Where is this coming from?" He asked gently and even more worried.
"I heard what you said to mom about how you wish I was more like Kiri or Neteyam..Do you realize I've been acting out to get your attention because I don't feel good enough for you! You the one who trained me and yet you don't let me go out on missions but you'll tell Lo'ak of all people?? How am I supposed to feel when I'm told to sit here and take care of others when I know I could be out there helping you and mom?  You don't talk to me or have any time for me and I hate that so much, it's always later baby girl, or not now baby girl. I miss our relationship but it doesn't seem like you do." You said breaking down into tears as Jake sat there in shock at your words before moving towards you and gathering in his arms.
Jake held you in his arms gently rocking you as he tried to calm you down while he also processed your words, he never meant to make you feel that way, that you weren't good enough for him because you were if any of his children were a carbon copy of him, it was you. Once your breathing was back to normal he decided to speak.
"You are good enough for me more than...I never meant to make you feel like you weren't and I'm sorry that I did...when I have to stay back here with your sister and the others it's not because I don't believe in your abilities as a warrior, trust me I do...it's because I know that if something was to happen, they would have you to protect and defend them...I'm sorry I made you think I was doubting you or didn't believe in you because I do so much. I didn't realize that I had gotten so wrapped in the war party stuff and your brothers that I ignored you, it was never my intention. I hope you can forgive me, baby girl." He said.
"As long as you can forgive me for the way I've been acting." You said looking at him.
"Of course, what do you say tomorrow we spend the day together like we used to do?" He offered you.
"I would love that. I love you, dad." You said to him.
"I love you too baby girl." He said pressing a kiss to your forehead.
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kissami · 9 months
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I DON'T
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SUM. you had enough of life at home. You leave and suddenly arrive to your manager's house that you always go for when life is a mess for you. Too bad you forgot who her younger brother of 10 years was.
fem!reader with she/her pronouns
Latina!chubby!reader
song to listen to : I don’t by Sabrina Claudio
warnings: angst, family issues, cursing, I mean come on its Katsuki...AGED UP PRO HERO KATSUKI YESSSSS
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“She didn’t defend me and let grandma call me lazy when I was helping too.”
“Stop being so dramatic oh my god.”
It was chilly tonight, but you didn’t care. You wanted to get away from home so desperately.
It was a stupid argument, but this argument had added on continuously which led to you leaving so abruptly. You’ve bitten your tongue so many times, not wanting to escalate the situation even though you had the right to.
Everyone had always claimed that you could tell them anything, especially your mother, but when you do and you’re vulnerable with her, she always had to say you were dramatic.
Being at your grandmas was your safe place, but whenever you were there with your older sister, it always had its way of making you look bad.
Ever since you were a child, you were compared to her. Like you weren’t as amazing as your older sister.
She cleaned, washed the dishes, swept and mopped at the age of 5. You were three years younger than her, but that was when you were seen as “la floja,”.
The older you had gotten the worse it got.. You both would clean together, do things together, but she always got the credit. Never saying anything to defend you when your family called you useless, the lazy one, the one who never changed.
Today was the day you were done being called lazy, the one who didn’t do anything because she was much bigger than her siblings; which would make sense to your family on why you were deemed lazy.
You knew deeply you weren’t though. You did so much yet no one seemed to notice until you made a simply mistake ONCE.
“It seems even at this age she still doesn’t do anything and leaves it for you still huh?” Your grandma said in her native tongue as she stood next to your older sister as she washed dishes.
You were there before, helping her dry them and put them away. You asked her if that was all and you walked away, but all of a sudden your grandma was there drying new dishes.
You felt your cheeks burn and a lump in your throat the way your grandma talked about you and your sister laughing while agreeing.
“She’s just like your cousin, not doing anything. She’s so lazy she can’t simply dry them.”
You felt so embarrassed and hurt that she’d even compare you to her. The girl who never got off her ass, let her dad spend all his money on stupid things while she had money of her own. The girl who’d smoke weed inside and ended up blaming you for it.
You ignored it, walking away as you sat down on the couch and consulted to your mother to just, listen.
But it had ended with her saying how stupid and dramatic you were being for that, leaving you alone as she spoke with your grandma like nothing. You always felt a favoritism with your family towards your sister. You envied her so much, but you tried to not let it get to you.
Today just wasn’t that day. You refused to speak, until your mom had enough and began to speak rudely to you while your sister was being annoyingly confused why you didn’t speak.
Later that night you waited until everyone was off somewhere else, and that was the moment you left. You simply needed a breather, get away from the family party as you departed from the house.
You didn’t realize just how far you had gotten until you reached your manager’s house.
You and her worked together for years and created an amazing relationship. She was like a mother you wished you had sometimes. You loved your mom, so much, but sometimes she would show her favoritism towards your sister too often.
You’ve been to your managers house many times for her sons’ birthdays, family cookouts, or simply just hanging out.
You paused seeing a rather really expensive car outside her driveway, making you hesitant to knock on the door until the door swung open.
You smiled brightly seeing Keiko awing up at you with a soccer ball in his arm. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked as he opened the door wider and pulling you inside.
Keiko was thirteen, with long blond hair and ruby eyes that look identical to the jewel. He was always infatuated with you, a small childhood crush on you that he had the moment he saw you when he was just a child.
All three of her children adored you, loving your presence all the time and always getting excited when you worked the shift when they’d be hanging with their mom or when you’d pick them up from practice.
The one who always brightened up towards you was the eight month old, always blabbering and wanting you to hold him.
Some see it so weird to have such a close friendship with your manager, but the two of you were so similar there wasn’t a chance in hell you two wouldn’t be friends. It seemed inevitable, even if she was 15 years older than you.
“Hey, ke, is your mom here I saw a car outside I’ve never-…seen before?” Your eyes popped out slightly, your jawing almost dropping seeing the familiar blond in the dining room.
“(Y/N), hey!! What brings you here?” You turned around seeing Kira, your manager smiling at you.
You rubbed your eyes, getting rid of the tears as you smiled back.
“Hey I’m sorry for intruding I was just in the neighborhood and decided to visit. I hope you don’t…mind.” You felt the familiar feeling of being deeply stared at, feeling your heartbeat even faster the longer you felt it.
“No no, never! I thought you were at a party tonight?” She placed the bowl of salad down and smiled, holding her hands out to an empty seat that happened to be where he was.
“I was but I got bored. You know how these parties get sometimes…” it seemed she knew exactly what you meant, frowning as she walked over to you and hugged you tightly.
As you pulled away, you looked back and saw the frown you used to be so familiar with, giving those soft eyes you missed.
Kira grabbed your hand, walking to the living room while her kids whined on why she was taking you away from them.
“What happened?” Her eyes were locked solely on you as you spoke.
You told her everything, feeling your hands shake as you talked. “I’m just so…tired of not being enough for anyone anymore. I just want my family to see me.”
She comforted you, rubbing your cheek as you cried. You asked if you could go in the yard to cool off, and she simply waved you off, to take your time.
You cried, feeling so exhausted while you sat on her swinging chair in her pretty yard. It was extremely pretty during the day but with her fairy lights around the whole yard when it was night time, it looked magical.
You felt a gentle push on the swing and you jumped back in surprise as you looked back to see him pushing you.
“Katsuki, you scared the hell out of me!” He chuckled, coming to the front as he stopped the swing.
“Seems like old habits die hard, hm?” He leaned forward and had his face directly in yours while you couldn’t help but lean back towards the pillow of the swing.
“Come on, talk to me. Kira already told me.”
“So why do I need to talk to you if she said it.” You spoke coldly. It just had to be him. Bakugo Katsuki. The most richest man in Japan. The number one hero of all of Asia. Your ex boyfriend.
“Don’t be like that, you ass. Tell me.” Even with the vulgar language he still talked gently. “You know how my family is, Katsuki. It’s nothing really. I guess I just had enough today is all…”
He huffed, extremely annoyed now that you spoke the way you would ever since you two broke up, him still not used to it. Who was he to blame though besides himself? The two of you broke it off months ago, more him, but still.
He missed you, but the way you’re being so cold makes he feel like you maybe did move on the way you said you would when he called it quits.
“It’s not true. None of it is true.” Sometimes you forgot he was related to your manager. It was annoying how he was pitying you. You just wanted some alone time.
“People say otherwise though.” You poked the bear again, knowing just where to get him because he too would always say how lazy you were just to get to you durning arguments.
“Y/N…I’m trying to have a normal conversation with you.”
“Right, normal. Look, it was good seeing you but I got to get home.”you looked anywhere but him, trying to leave the swing as you craved home now, wanting to leave immediately.
He leaned down closer than before, looking deeply in your eyes. You saw the familiar industrial piercing, the eyebrow jewelry popping out against the soft lights outside, and the tight shirt he’d wear whenever he came out of work that left little to no imagination on what’s under the thin fabric.
“Katsuki….”
“I still miss you. So much. I regret everything I said. I was an egoistic asshole who was too stubborn to apologize when everything happened. I needed time, thinking that maybe it’d be the perfect opportunity to let go, but I didn’t want to do it the way I did,” he continued as he grew flustered.
‘Wow, right to the point I see, ‘You thought.
“So please, give me another chance to make it right. I’m…fuck I’m sorry. Really sorry.” He spoke, chewing on the lip ring that hugged his plump bottom lip.
You looked at him concerned and confused, not hearing a genuine apology from him in so long, especially after that last argument that ended your five year relationship.
“…you mean it?” You asked softly, playing with your fingers, a habit you had since UA, before he was a hero, before you two even met. A habit he grew to adore.
Old habits die hard.
“I’m…sorry too. For what I said when you broke up with me and saying how I’d move on, we both know that wouldn’t happen. I was infatuated with you.” You smiled looking up, holding his shoulder as he leaned down closer. You caught a glimpse of your promise ring on his necklace, the one you threw on the floor of your shared apartment when he wanted to leave you.
“I still keep it. Everyday I’d wear it just to remember your face and how much of a fucking idiot I was to ever bring that stupid topic up. I was scared though, when you said that,” he sighed, running his fingers into your hair softly.
‘If you don’t want me I’m sure someone would love and appreciate me! Dont come back to me when I move on with someone who cares!’
“I was stubborn to reach out before that happened, but now that I saw you, I gave up trying to be a hard ass. I needed to tell you have I feel. I’m sorry it took me so long…”
“Katsuki, mom wants you.” You accidentally jumped, banging your head into his and hiss as the both of you grabbed your heads in pain.
“Keiko you motherfucker!” Katsuki barked angrily at his nephew who was standing on the porch holding his baby brother and Kaito; the second oldest, looking at each other smugly.
You stood up smiling, placing a soft hand on Katsuki’s shoulder. The was a bright red mark on his forehead and you could only imagine how yours looked too.
“Thank you, Katsuki. I appreciate you saying how you felt, but I have to go now…” You didn’t know what else to say. It was always you saying these words to him but hearing it from him, it did something to you that made you want to runaway in fear, in fear if you let him in again these words would mean nothing.
Just as you spoke the last two words to him, his phone began to ring. It was your baby sister who was calling him. A FaceTime call at that.
He answered it smiling, seeing your sister again after so long. “Kats! Have you seen my sister?!” You heard her voice wobble, making you peak over giggling.
“Oh baby don’t cry she’s right here.” He handed you the phone as you gushed at how cute she looked.
The two of you talked, mainly you trying to calm down her sobbing. She always brightened your day. Even though she was only five, she truly was one of the closest people you’ve had in so long.
At such a young age she seemed to always understand what and how you felt. The way she feels seeing you in distress made her feel distress. It made you sad seeing how much she feels at such a young age towards you, making you not want to mention anything bad that has happened to you most times.
“KEIKOOOO!” She wailed when you accidentally showed the background making you sigh as Keiko’s eyes bulged out.
It was so funny knowing Keiko had a crush on you while your baby sister had a crush on him, making him kind of understand how you felt when he was a kid when he did the same to you the way you sister is acting now.
“Give Keiko the phone right now!” You saw Keiko slowly walk away with his baby brother, making you smirk as you moved quicker and grabbed baby Keiso before handing Keiko Katsuki’s phone.
“Well aren’t you a sweetie!” You smothered the baby in kisses and laughed as you heard your sister wail to him on how much she missed and loved him.
A few minutes later it was quiet again, you hated the awkward silence but luckily the baby was busy playing with your lips and cheeks, keeping you from glancing over at Katsuki.
“I really do need to go home now…” Katsuki walked over and grabbed Keiso, placing him on the small mat on the ground as he crawled away.
“You walked here right? It’s late, you know how many fucking creeps are out right now? And you live across down so it would makes sense you were at your grandmas but still you-”
You placed a hand out, laughing at his flustered expression as you interrupted him so quickly.
“Yes you can take me home, Katsuki.”
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I'm so good at forgiveness
Cause I found it for you so many times
When I think I've hit my limit
You push a bit further
And I draw the line
I keep waiting, no I'm waiting for the tide to change
But I know I'm the one to blame Cause I always choose to stay
“…this song is one of my favorites from her album.” You whispered into the quiet silence, making him nod and cough.
“I know…look…Y/N,I meant what I said. I love you. I’m sorry I pushed you away like that. Like you meant nothing when you mean everything to me.” He parked outside of your grandmas, seeing all of your uncles, cousins, and random people standing outside talking.
He missed this. He missed your family, the food, the way they always welcomed him like he was apart of the family. But gods did he miss you more than anything.
You kept your eyes forward, still not knowing what to do.
“Katsuki…I love you too. So much. I felt so much resentment towards you, always feeling my heart ache when I saw you on random posters and ads, I miss my boyfriend. If I were in your position with starting off in a new environment and job, I wouldn’t know what or how I’d live that way,” placing your hand on his, you turned your head and smiled.
Come here by Sabrina Claudio began playing, making you sigh, feeling the love rush through you.
I'm dying to see you
You know what I'm fiending for The only one to get to me Only one to get this close
So I want you to come here I want you to come here
I just need you near
No matter how, just make it here
“I forgive you.“ that was all you needed to say as he clenched the stirring wheel with one hand and cupping your cheek with the other, placing a soft passionate kiss on your lips.
You two pulled away, chuckling at each other’s pink blushes. Even with how much older the two of you got, you two still felt so deeply for one another. Like you were kids foolishly in love.
A tap on the window came from your side, making your eyes wide as your uncle Jaime stood there smirking.
In your opinion he was the scariest to introduce Katsuki to, but at the end of the day, Katsuki lost his fear and actually grew a tight relationship with your uncles, especially your uncle Jaime who just happened to be staring down at you.
“About time fuckers, this one mopped around like a little fucking puppy.” He laughed, walking away to your family and you saw the bright smile on their faces.
“I guess we have to go in, huh?” You winced, looking at Katsuki expecting to see him be annoyed.
But you knew him better than that. There he was, sitting there with a cheeky smile as he waved to your family from the front seat.
“Why are you making that face, ugly? I love your family come on.”
Your mom looked at you in happiness, seeing your bright face that she missed seeing so much. All you needed was her tight hug, the words of affirmations from her. That’s all you needed to know everything would be okay again.
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author’s note yes this is how I feel with my family don’t judge I needed a way to vent okay?? anyways I rushed the end because I did NOT want to make another series that didn’t need one so I’m sorry if I didn’t make your expectations lol
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justslowdown · 2 years
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Only learning now that I've had to sell almost every sheep I've grown close to and helped raise, including ones bred with friends over Years to pair dairy traits with resilience........ had to sell to move on, so ultimately good, but deeply, deeply painful in a way it's hard to communicate. I hurt. A lot.
Anyways. Only now have learned that the culture who's 50% of my direct heritage, Slovakian, traditionally has relied on sheep milk and sheep cheese
I did not know this. I've felt drawn very viscerally to sheep, they are My Animal. But also to milking goats, and to the dream of milking sheep. Sheep just have been part of my identity for years. The ultimate goal of milking them and getting a lot of my daily calories from that felt Right and worth working towards. They just feel the Rightest as an animal to interface with, and I've worked with a lot of livestock and pets.
I wish. I don't know. I wish I'd have known a few years ago, and made the most of the incredible opportunities here knowing they were a cultural connection too. I've never even talked to my grandparents about it
I did make my grandma rabbit paprikash a few years ago (Slovak culture has some overlap with Hungarian, my other main genetic heritage). It opened up so many stories about her relatives in the early 20th century raising rabbits.
But I never thought to talk with her about sheep, and now she can't really talk much. The Thanksgiving I cooked that dish, she thought I was a different grandson she forgot, Cyril, not a trans grandkid, which worked fine for me honestly.
Missed moments. Missed anchors to your ancestral past. There are so many but this one feels a certain way tonight
I feel firmer in my conviction that this is a very temporary pause in raising sheep, necessary for the next step in my life. And I'm going to approach it differently going forward
I have a few bilingual relatives back in Slovakia to talk to and I'm not sure why it took cheese to realize how much I'm missing. But cheese has always been 1/4 to a wild degree of what my dad and I eat so maybe that craving makes sense now too! Feels silly. Still important!
Mountains are another thing that feel indelibly part of my body and spirit that I definitely did not grow up anywhere near ever seeing. Interesting to think about. My dad and I were talking a couple days ago about how the Cascades woke up parts of us we didn't know were there
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asminahcasim · 4 months
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“Moment in Motion: The Dance of My Everyday Lives”
A moment to remember, when my grandma and I were likely Tom and Jerry because of my mischief, she used to chase me around with a wooden stick, we wouldn’t stop chasing each other until she finally caught me up and hit me with the stick she had with her, so naughty me.
Hi!!! by the way I am Asmina Casim, middle child of my parents, I’m just want to share my life story with you, for three days after I was born in this world, my grandparents took care of me, even though my parents are around, my grandpa decided to take me in and bring me home to Mindanao, but even though I’m in Mindanao, I always take a vacations here, before that I want to share with you what my parents work, They are both Businessmen, and that time I can say that our family is incredibly perfect and happy, We are so blessed with everything we have, Our parents do everything they can to provide us with the things we need. But suddenly our once very happy family faced a tough situation, my dad had another woman, and when my mother found out, she got stressed. Unfortunately, because of the stress, my mom couldn’t safely give birth to my sibling. When my sibling passed away, my sister and I really blamed our dad because it was truly his fault, we believe that what happened to our sibling was because of him.
Fast forward, my mother and us have moved on from the painful memories left by our father, guess what? He chose his new partner over us, it’s painful to think about, but it’s true. After those hardships, I returned to Mindanao to continue my studies there, my life back in Mindanao was extremely simple, I was a cheerful child who always played outside with my friends, during my elementary, I didn’t think about life’s problems because I was too young my interests revolved around playing outside, I found joy only in playing because I didn't have a happy family during those times. Despite that, I had friends who became a significant part of my life, bringing immense happiness to my days. They make my days extra special when I’m with them, and I always forgot those problem in my mind, our friendship is full of laughter, until now there is no changes between us, even I am now far from them, the closeness is still remaining, I can say that they are among the happy moments that happened in my childhood.
As the years passed, I entered high school, and that's where life changes began. I learned to think right about what's happening around me. And also that time I realized that I no longer had a happy family to return to, and I constantly suffered too much, I always begged God to bring back our happy family and return my dad to us. I’m consistently been the top student in our school since elementary until in my high school, but for me, all the awards I received feel useless because I never experienced my dad hanging my medals. I even dislike recognition days because instead of being happy and proud, I feel sad seeing others joyfully going up the stage with their dads, I never experienced too that my dad being proud of me or seeing that I’m worth it as his child. I have a huge resentment towards him, how I wish I could open up to him, but my shyness prevails, ever since my dad left us, the closeness disappeared, and I don’t have the courage to talk to him about the things that hurt me.
Now that I’m in my senior high school and can make decisions on my own, I want to choose to be happy despite of all tears that I thru before, I just realized that the past cannot be brought back, and I just want to focus on my studies instead and do my best to make my mom proud of me, I don’t know where life take me, but I got this and I always got this, I will continue as long as I have a strength to build a happy life again and forget everything that is already done…
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lilththeweeb · 1 year
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I wish I could talk about my dads death without people saying the same phrases “I’m sorry that sucks that’s hard you’ll get past it everything’s gonna turn out okay it will be easier.” I FUCKING know. I realize that some day the flashes of his body won’t stop playing my mind, I can’t stop seeing how the mortician made him look like someone I didn’t know, I never knew I could feel so much loss. I’ve lost people before my aunt, my grandpa my grandma. My parents giving me up for drugs and alcohol I’ve felt that but nothing prepared me for that immediate knee buckling heart break. Seeing my brother on his knees trembling crying shivering, hearing all of us cry at once the minute mom showed us dads body to see if we wanted open or closed casket, seeing his autopsy scars and his wounds still showing from his accident and hiding his skull damage with his favorite browns hoodie. We didn’t get along all the time he was complex. He was strict but playful he was the hardest working person you’d ever meet but he will sing the nieces and nephews to sleep with a lullaby “ah bye ah bye ah bye.” In a tune I never figured what it was from but it worked every time. He sexually assaulted me at 15 we were so distant for all the way until his dying day because I didn’t know how to get past it. I sit here now convincing my self he was working doubles he was diabetic he was out of it he was delusional he might not of understood what he was doing was wrong, but it was wrong, I know I shouldn’t forgive him just because he died but at the same time I did because he was all the father I had. I still loved him before I felt hate for him. I feel so guilty for feeling a small relief as well knowing my mom can finally start over but that’s the negative part to all she’s ever known since 1975 was him. He was her entire life. Now she’s alone at 64 years old, having to go back into the work force with two bad knees and back. I keep getting flashes of his face in that casket and the sounds of everyone crying and the overwhelming feeling of everyone’s sense of loss. It’s so hard to be a foster kid already feeling like you fit in no where, or being autistic and everyone making you feel abnormal, or complex ptsd where you never get a long moment of peace without substances or a distraction or BPD where all those emotions are amplified like they didn’t hurt as it is. I’m so tired of hearing people talk about how durable how strong I am because I don’t want to be I shouldn’t have to be I should’ve been kept safe. I shouldn’t of been emotionally aware at 5. I shouldn’t of had to go through all these things and even when I sit here say “i me my .” I feel selfish because how dare I feel like my feelings matter than any one else’s. Feels like I’m walking around with bricks in my pockets everyone sees how heavy it is and just pretends they don’t exist bc it’s easier for them then investing themselves In empathy or sympathy for a moment
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lenabenaacena · 2 years
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ykw i think i feel better tbh like. i had to take my time to really feel it out and i saw her car again today. it reminded me i had a choice to not go in again and fuck up whag i worked up so much to go. i’ve been studying so hard now and playing guitar for fun. it’s not everything but it feels like something for now. also went to the gym today. keeping myself busy is nice but until it comes to nught in the weekends then idk. it’s different i’m different.
i feel like i have to keep up w others and do this like they want me to. someone reminded me i shouldn’t have to. they’re so right really. i realllg told someone my reasons for moving back to my parents house. to be completely sober. to be closer to my family i miss them so much and to get away from this. i feel like i’ve really grown out of it. i don’t wanna feel like my brother and attach to old friends and old life to feel something. i see him and i feel so bad cause i know he can do better if he allows himself to. maybe i’ll talk to him on this trip soon about this if i can. maybe i can convince him to do better hopefully. if i can’t idk who will. my family needs me most now tho. so much happening but i can’t help anymore for almost two years now. i feel so bad when my grandma told me she was 70 this year i was like fuck bro like goes so fast cause i’m thinking she’s still 50 at least. i was 3 when she was 50 like fuck bro. i wanna spend so much time w her as much as i can in the lifetime i have with her idc about anything else here now. i wanna spend time w my mom and let her know i care about her. i wanna spend time w my siblings and let them know i’ll hear them for anything. i prolly won’t be good but i’ll try so hard for them and eventually maybe for friends that i should really keep in touch with like M and S. i care so much and i don’t know how to express it at all. i wanna express it and i feel like this way i can express it. i wish i had my family here or i should’ve moved w them this year but i had some thing to really take care of.
like a binge rn. i’m so drunk and high now writing this and it feels so crazy now. i’m literally outside my apegsmft now just writing this. idk i’m sorry for that last work if u can’t figure it out it’s apartment i think. 1:51 am i’m still thinking about what was last weekend a few hours before this. i had the offer to go in and have the chance to see her again after that night but i couldn’t. i respected her wishes to never contact her again. she wanted that closure and she got it.
although that wasn’t really closure. i’m saying we really never talked about anything other than how much her old friend wasn’t a good friend. nothing i could’ve done at this point it had nothing to do with me now. she said why i didn’t tell her i told her i did tell her but she didn’t care. she started crying and she asked why and i realized that’s when she just wanted to hear when she wanted to hear. i told her she would’nt have listened anyways. it didn’t matter. what information would’ve changed that. she knew at the begginging of our relationship i didn’t like her friend after what she did. she still kept being friends what was i gonna say 5 years later after gonna change fr. she said she wanted me to say nothing i said nothing. she yelled why i didn’t say nothing then she said she’s talking to a brick wall. whatever i said wasn’t gonna heal her hurt. i tried to leave so bad. i had my fiend in the car thinking it was gonna be quick. no 2 hours later i’m with her still.
anyways she kept saying shit i wanted to hear 3 year ago when she broke up with me. honestly she broke up w me and tried to so long after her dad died. after she met the girl she cheated on me w emotionally it was just downhill after. she connected w someone else and it’s cool you know i couldn’t be there for her i didn’t know her pain. she found someone else she could understand her pain. but at the same time why would she cheat on the person she’s left me for ?
she said she wanted closure and that we never talked about what really happened after we ended it but at the same time why did we did we need to? she moved on obviously in that time and i had to as wellll. but for her to cheat on the person she left me for is crazy realllu.
i know she’s not happy at all i do feel bad for her. like she said she doesn’t have any friends but just work friends and it’s like fuck. i do wanna reach out to her and let her know i’ll always be here for her as a friend if she needs to talk but my last email i sent listed that. well said if she needed closure then i’ll be here. i was drunk when i sent it tbh or recovering drunk. idk i had my friend that was w my the whole time and it felt right bc she salad it was. said. whatever. then i couldn’t sleep that night cause i felt somebbtinf wasn’t right. i checked mg emails and i saw she she replied. i was like wow after all of that you said you said to never contact you again. but you never said anything was a mistake or anything so you wanted to do what you did don’t blame anytning kn you being drunk yk. cause after a while i knew you weren’t drunk anymore. you saw my friend that helped us w our problems and officially was sobered up. telling me that you would believe me if the sky was falling bc you loved me so much was insane. telling me you loved me the whole night as insane. telling me i was the best thing in your life was insane. telling me everything i wanted to hear 3 year ago is insane.
i didn’t feel anything anymore. all the things i felt in the moment was just list and nostalgia. wanted to give her my number and telling her i’ll email hee or something. what’s crazy is that she mentioned a girl i was sleeping w. i kept it so low key but she had mentioned the name A. i was like what the fuck how did you know but she changed the subject realt quick. she kept trying to fuck me thst whole night. i kept trying to stop i didn’t feel right doing it rwhen she was going home to a whole different person. even then i didn’t feel like a good person doing that. even i’m my soul i knew i shouldn’t have but i did anyways because she kept saying i was playing her by doing this and she eventually got so aggressive with trying to fuck me. idk man if was a good reminder of why we should not be together or why i should not see her after that anymore even though how much i want to. life is hard bro. you just gotta move on. from everything. i know life is so hard for her and for her whole family. idk how hard it is now but i’m it’s hard. i wish i could help her fr in any way possible. i loved her so much before and i always will. maybe not in the same way but in a way that’s comfortable with both of us.
everything we used to be is nothing more. until she realizes what had really happened. until she sits down and just cries so hard to realize why it didn’t really work out. she thinks why we didn’t work out was bc i stopped trying. i agree with her that’s one reason why i stopped trying. but there was so many other reasons like why she always wanted to fight me everything she got drunk. or when she always accuses me of cheating after that one accusation that i proves to be wrong. it was constant every time and there was nothing to do anymore until she realizes what she did wrong. i realized what is did wrong in that relationship. i told her i thought about it a lot. obviously i had to in order to be better.
i’m drunk i’m tiedd good night
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ilovegoats77 · 2 years
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so, i guess i should start with whatever started all of this fuckery, and why i want to do this.
i feel my mental health is at its worst, and i wish i could say this is all for attention and its faked, but everything in here is extremely raw. and why i chose tumblr? no one i know knows me here. i needed someplace to put my thoughts, so here they are.
i feel like my mental health is declining at its worst. i really think this is the lowest point in my life where i cannot stand my own body, mind, or anything like it. but im at an extremely high point in my life. amazing relationship, doing well in life, and amazing family connections. but, that being said i do feel that this is the first time in my life it hasnt been chaotic, and i cant stand it. i really, really cant.
its driving me crazy. and i do think thats why its so loud in my head. my thoughts range from hurting myself and showing off because thats well. thats how my head can get. i dont even want the attention? i dont think. but i dont really understand it myself.
ive been more angry, more aggressive, but i really have no clue why. i think im going under possible states of denial that i may have something severly wrong with me, but i also know i do. wether it be from my fucked up mom and what she gave me, to all of the sexual abuse i suffered constantly throughout my childhood years. i didnt have a childhood, and i wish i realized sooner before it was too late.
i guess it started from when one of my sexual abusers died.
thats alot to take in. a few months as of writing this my sexual abuser died. he got into a fight with his girlfriend late at night, and walked onto the highway drunk, and boom.
he was my brother.
well, step brother actually. but weve known each other for so long i used to consider us very close.
now, for context. my mom was always fucked up, and we all agree she should not have had kids. she isn not mentally well enough and never has been to have anything. think of a 15 year old nightmare in a 40 year old body. my grandma wont stop telling me how much she regrets not taking her to therapy, but i really dont blame anyone of how my mom is but herself. too stubborn enough to refuse her medications, but too pathetic to not rant on facebook about how her two boyfriends refused to take her out to dinner because they have their own lives.
total shitshow. weve got cps called on us many times from her screaming at me and my sister. (they could hear her two streets away) and luckily my grandma works with the police, so she never got in trouble. part of me wishes she did, but also doesnt. weird, i have so much sympathy for her but i dont.
i feel too bad to fully hate her, but i feel bad saying i do.
shes very mentally not okay, so i dont blame a lot on her. except her refusing therapy for some odd reason. whatever, its not my problem.
i cant tell you how many times as a young child i had to stop her from harming herself, seeing drugs around her, or how when she gets sad and mad she screams at us tellingnus its all our fault and how shes (in detail) going to kill herself, and how many fucking times ive had to comfort her as a child about her boyfriend leaving her because shes totally fucked. its helped me gain a sense of how to help people i guess, but no one needs to see that.
but anyways, totally fucked up. whatever, now. shes always had these millions of boyfriends, ive actually seen her single. huh.
i dont actually have a dad, and i really dont know if i have any issues resulting from that? but i dont think so. but yes, i cant tell you as a child how many random men ive called dad, and then once i do they leave my mom. but i only have my mom to blame for that one. one of them is my sisters dad.
i have two biological sisters, and they all have seperate dads.
the middle child, (im the youngest) ill call her AD. ads dad used to be in the military, and sold drugs in the military. now stay with me okay?
his mom is still a huge drug addict, and lost her husband due to it. one day while my mom and her boyfriend were gone, and AD’s dad was in the military, my mom had his mom watch me. i was maybe 1. once my mom and her boyfriend left town they had to get called back instantly because the pokice and emergecy vehicles were there to take the drugs out of their system, and they were doing it while i was sound asleep on their bed. her husband died while they both did the drugs from an overdose. they never went to jail for whatever reason, never really asked since its a sensitive subject i assume. but, ive been around drugs for a long while. and dont worry, i hate drugs with ever fiber in me.
now, my youngest sister, all call her SO. SO’s dad was awful. when i was in 5th grade i met her dad named Adam. he was your classic white trash. lived in a fucked up house, satanist, trashed house, you name it.
we lived in his house for a few months. beer cans everywhere, but he had two kids (this is before SO was born). a boy and a girl. ZAND was the brother and ZANDR was the sister. (nicknames). and they were my best friends. ZAND was the brother i spoke of when i first started this post.
we all grew up together, and when my mom heard she was pregnant with SO we moved into a house out in some orange groves. id love to find a picture of it, but its been condemned for black mold growing in it. but it was a very sketchy house. imagine a small house with fencing around with, (with barbed wire,) with trees surrounding it. a light blue i think? with three bedrooms, a basement and a tampoline in the back.
SOs dad was a peice of shit. he frequently raped my mother in their room at night. and she later on told me about a year ago that since she was a heavy christian lady, he threatened her with pretending to be satan and yelling demonic chanting at her in her ear. she was extremely terrified.
he would scream at us, and ill be honest when i say i really dont remember much of that house other than what ill tell you, and that we lived on a well. and when that well ran out no one came to our house to refill it. so we had to go to adams moms house to take a shower once a week since he wouldnt really let us leave the house unless absoloutely needed. and take a huge note, i got bullied before constantly. would come home with black eyes because i was a weak small kid who was a nerd, so i was an easy target. i didnt grow up with many friends, but only showering once a week? oh man. when i told you i got avoided and bullied constantly, i wouldnt lie to you. it was fucking awful.
i remember being laughed at constantly for whatever they find the need to laugh at me for. moved schools 3 months in because it got so bad.
now, this is when the sexual abuse took a play in. my brother, when i was 6-8? i dont exactly rember the age i was, but i know he was definitely a teenager. locked me in a closet pretending to play hide and seek with me.
he tormented me in that fucking closet.
it was pitch black, and hebhad previously told me someone hung themselves in it, i was terrified. he would slam and laugh at the door. sending me into a frantic shock, and i was in full fight or flight. then he shoved me in; and locked himself in there with me, and started rubbing his own dick against my back. i felt it. i, felt, it. i eventually got my mom called in the room, and she took us out. and gotbus in trouble.
there were other times where he also used me and took advantage of my niceness and naiveness to get sexual gratification. when he was playing minecraft and id ask to play? “show me yer bewbs lawl” and it would be constant so i never could play with him. and it was things like that.
funny story actually, he went into a huge court case four-three years ago for touching a child. he got off on probation, but it never sat right with me.
his sister ZANDR told me he had a few more cases just like that, that no one told me about. it was fucking insanity. that house is insanity, and that was just many crazy stories id rather forget.
im extremely tired, and ill update this sometime tommorrow. thank you for reading this far, it means a lot :).
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beanswrites · 2 years
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Ranking the SADDEST moments from Disney and Pixar movies that broke me
Before we begin may I just say that I had to redo this entire chart because I forgot Tumblr only lets me post 10 pictures so at first this chart had 21 SPOTS and I already wrote it up until like the eleventh when I realized I had to redo it.
GENERAL WARNING: This is sad, people. Like, really sad. The kind of sad that can make you cry, but also the kind that sinks in you for the rest of the day and doesn't leave until the next morning. This is just plain angst, death scenes, break up scenes, hurt scenes, you know the deal. If you aren't looking to be depressed by scenes from children's movies, please scroll away. If you are, welcome, and here's a tissue. You're gonna need it bud.
These are gonna be ranked from the least sad/tolerable to sobbing-on-the-floor kind of deal. Again, I'm sorry, but you know that I had to mix in some good ol' angst in people's dashboards. Keep in mind, this may not be too sad for u or u might feel that I missed some stuff, but these are just scenes that I considered sad.
10. Moana's grandma dying in "Moana"
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Coming in on the last spot is the death scene of Moana's grandmother. I genuinely loved her character so much and I was so heartbroken and surprised when she suddenly died. It's ranked on the last spot because she later had an impact on the movie, so it felt like she was still there, which is really heart-warming and how actual death should be seen as.
9. The dad dinosaur dying in "The Good Dinosaur"
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I don't know how many of you watched this movie (but you should, it's really cute!), but I think that a death scene of such an important character not even twenty minutes into the movie should be illegal. And they even had a fight before he died, so his son never got the chance to apologise! It's on this list not because it was so emotional, just because I hate when a family member who's very important dies.
8. Ian not getting to see his dad in "Onward"
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Okay, I know this is not a death scene, however it still had a huge emotional impact on me. This whole movie resolves around the fact that Ian wants to see his dad, even just for a minute, so when he doesn't at the end, it's really devastating. The gesture he did for his brother is incredible, and I understand why he did it, I just wish that after all the trouble he went thru he could finally see him.
7. Ray's death in "Princess and The Frog"
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Ray is one of the funniest characters in the entire movie, and this was one of the saddest death scenes Disney ever had.
Was he too good to die? Yes.
Was this the saddest part of this movie? Also Yes.
Did Disney had to do this? No.
It's really not fair, poor Ray. At least he got to be with his Evangeline.
6. Bing Bong Perishing in "Inside Out"
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Bing Bong didn't actually die, however, he just kind of perished. I have to admit, he was kind of annoying to me when I first saw him on the screen, but I immediately regretted that thought when this scene happened. I love how he cared so much about Riley and Joy that he sacrificed himself for them, that was really cute. "Inside Out" all together was a really emotional movie, but I remember that the line "Go! Go, save Riley!" had me tearing up.
5. Bambi's mom dying in "Bambi"
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Wow, my fellow angst lovers (I mean.. I'm assuming you like angst since you're already this far.. If you don't, than wow, you must be really curious!), we already made it to top five! The death of Bambi's mom honestly deserves a place on any chart of sad scenes, because some people even consider it the saddest. This scene is so sudden and so genuine that I still cry every time I see it, which isn't every often because I haven't watched "Bambi" in forever. Again, death of an important family member getting to me isn't anything new. But at least that made him closer to his dad!
4. The flashback scene from "Encanto"
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Who would have thought that one of the saddest scenes from Disney and Pixar I would ever watch is from Disney's most recent movie: The Encanto. The scene where they showed how Abuela fell in love with Pedro was incredibly cute and heart-warming, which made his death even more tragic. There are three things that broke me about this scene:
1. The way he kissed all of his babies before trying to calm down the horse riders, before his death
2. Abuela's cry, that's so fucking raw and beautiful and horrifying and heart-wrenching in the same time that it did make me cry when I watched this two weeks ago. I think that Abuela crying here is one of the best animated cries ever
3. The entire song "Dos Oruguitas". SO beautiful and SO sad
wow my man Pedro didn't even say a word and I literately cried over him
3. Tadashi dying in "Big Hero 6"
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(sorry, I couldn't find a better pic)
listen.
Listen
LISTEN HERE-
"Big Hero 6" came out in 2014 and I'M STILL MAD ABOUT THIS DEATH SCENE 7 YEARS LATER
Tadashi is one of the best (*ehm* and the hottest *ehm*) animated characters of all time and he didn't deserve what Disney gave him
NOT EVEN 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE
There was a period of time I refused to rewatch Big Hero 6 just and only because I didn't wanna se Tadashi dying again. I seriously think that his death was stupid and unnecessary, plus it somehow felt rushed, and without showing his helpful side but replacing it with the "somebody has to help" BS.
Welp, I guess that fanfics are the only way any of us are ever going to emotionally recover from this *aggressively starts writing fanfics where he didn't die, but just got hurt*
2. Ellie dying in "Up"
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Coming in at the second place, probably the saddest thing that has ever happened in the first 12 minutes of any movie ever. This love story and the song "Married Life" are already good enough reasons to love this movie. Even tho many people love rewatching "Up" many times, I have actually seen this movie only once. It was a long time ago, but I remember that I was like sad or something, so I decided to watch it because it seemed like a movie that would cheer me up. HUGE mistake. I cried so hard that I almost threw up, so yeah. Definitely deserves a place this high on this chart.
1. Literately the whole movie "Coco"
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This is the saddest movie I have ever watched, and in my opinion, the saddest movie Disney and Pixar ever made. This is the only movie I ever watched in a cinema that I seriously considered walking out of, just because I couldn't bear it. You're probably thinking that I'm overreacting a bit, but I lost my grandpa (who meant the world to me) not even two weeks before seeing this film, so it hit me like a bus. After it, I cried for weeks on end because it still bothered me, and to this day I haven't rewatched it (like I do with the rest of Disney movies) and I probably won't. It did have it's humour and I love "Un Poco Loco", but there isn't a sum of money you could pay me to rewatch this movie.
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That would be all for this ranking! Hope you went thru it without too many used tissues. Tell me in the comments which Disney/Pixar movies scenes are the saddest to you!
The next ranking will be much happier than this one, so stay tuned and if you want me to rate something requests are open!
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yutahoes · 3 years
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Chances
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characters: boyfriend! Yuta Nakamoto x Reader, Shotaro as Yuta’s cousin
word count : 2.5k words
summary : All you wanted was to be in his arms but the worst thing happened. 
warning : cheating
genre : angst
This is an anon request where Yuta cheats on Y/N and I know this isn’t the idea you had in mind but it makes me uncomfortable to write a descriptive Yuta cheating scenario. So this deals with the feelings of catching him cheat and I do feel like this is somewhat lacking. I’m sorry and I love you, please don’t hate me. 😣
Being an in-demand photographer had its perks, you can travel to a lot of countries using the reason that you’re working. The downside is that you miss a lot of things, your parents, your friends, and your long-term boyfriend Yuta Nakamoto. 
He had been there for you since the beginning, always supporting you and listening to your stories about the sceneries you see and wishing that you’re together. But he’s making his own mark in Japan, his hometown, where you two met years ago. 
Now that you were given a week break, there’s only one destination you wanted to go to. Home. To Yuta’s arms. 
You took the first flight to Osaka with just one luggage and a few things that you wanted to give Yuta’s family. The way to their home seemed different now but the tingling feeling of seeing him again isn’t new. It’s been months since you last saw each other and you wanted to surprise him. It’s been so long. You just want to be in his arms. 
His younger cousin, Shotaro, opened the door and you beamed widely at his surprised face. “Why are you here, Y/N?” He asked and hugged you tight. “Why didn’t Yuta tell me you’re coming?” 
“He doesn’t know either.” You whispered then handed him the things you shopped for. “Where is he?” Shotaro shrugged, looking at the bag. “Okaasan? Otousan?” 
“They all left and I’m alone once again.” He said with a pout that made you smile. It was Shotaro who introduced you and Yuta together. You were helping him with his Math subject when he introduced his cousin and he acted as a wingman for the two of you. “Do you want to wait for them?” 
You shook your head. You’re a bit sleepy. “Do you want to go get some coffee?” He nodded that made you smile, even claiming that there’s a famous coffee shop near town that is good to check out. 
You were startled at first when he brought you to the red light district, a number of motels nearby scaring you but he just led the way and showed you a small Renaissance-inspired coffee shop that made you in awe. How can something this pretty be in this place? It wasn’t that full, maybe because of the weird placement of the shop, but it’s cozy. 
He ordered for you and you eyed the interior of the restaurant, feeling really bad that you didn’t bring your camera. This will be a great magazine feature. Your gaze fell on the window outside, morning and there weren’t too many people around. You chuckled thinking that the only people you can spot are couples coming out from the motels nearby. Shotaro came back with a latte for you and a cappuccino for him, sitting opposite you. “I’ll tell Yuta that we’re here.” He said before getting his phone out. 
A brown-haired guy in black clothes coming out of the motel caught your attention. Yuta? You can’t be mistaken. You knew his shadow, even the ends of his hair. A girl in skimpy clothes followed him outside, holding his arm as the other was holding a phone against his ear. You heard his voice asking Shotaro what it was, the same time the guy you were eyeing was talking to his phone. Even the car that honked in the background is the same one that made Shotaro turn around. 
“Shotaro, I’m busy. I’ll call…” But it was Shotaro who dropped the call. 
“It’s him, isn’t it?” He asked and you nodded, stunned that you discovered him like this. Outside a motel with someone else? “Y/N, let’s go kill my…”
You shook your head. “I’ll get my things from your house. I’ll just call for a hotel.” 
“Y/N.” Again, you shook your head. You can’t deal with this now. You wanted to cry but you can’t cry. Shotaro kept asking you if you wanted him to go with you to the hotel but you shook your head, thanking him for not asking about it. “Y/N, maybe Yuta has a reason. He loves you, you know?” 
Then why? What was his reason? Why did he come outside the motel, with another girl in his arms? Your relationship is fine, although long-distance, he made sure that you know that he loves you. So why? Is he sick of you? 
The cab came, Shotaro helped in putting your luggage inside, when you heard his voice calling out your name. He looked so happy, so relieved that you’re here. But his clothes were the same as earlier, the clothes that the girl held on to. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re coming? Taro, bring out her luggage…”
“No, I’m leaving.” You gave the younger guy a nod and he just smiled at you before heading inside the house. “Why Yuta?” 
He gave you a curious expression. “Why what?” He asked, reaching out for your shoulder but you dodged him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” The tears started welling in your eyes. “Why are you crying?” 
Yuta stepped forward but you stepped back. Why isn’t he sorry? “Stop pretending. I saw you outside the motel with a girl. Even Shotaro saw you.” He looked surprised. You actually admired yourself for saying those things even if tears were falling from your eyes. “Why Yuta? Am I not enough?”
“Y/N.” He called, holding your arm. “I’m sorry.” But his voice was cold. All the warmth that was in Yuta’s voice is gone now. 
What the others said is right. Relationships are like glass. Once broken, even if you put it together, you’ll still see the cracks. “You’re just sorry because you got caught.” He stared at the dirt on his feet that made you sigh. “Can I please at least know why?” It hurts but you demand to know the truth. 
“I’m lonely.” He whispered. “You were far away and I’m stuck here. It made me really lonely, Y/N.” You covered your mouth with your hand to avoid making a choked sob. That’s it? He’s willing to throw away everything just because he’s lonely? “I’m sorry. Please give me another chance. I love you. I want to spend my life with you.” He held both your arms but you just shook him away. “Please. I won’t do it again. I’m stupid, please give me another chance.”
You slipped the promise ring from your finger, handing it to him. “Isn’t that enough reason to stop?” You swat his hand away then opened the door to the cab, sliding in the backseat. 
In your hazy vision, you can see Yuta’s image from the rearview mirror getting smaller as the driver took you away from that place. “Are you alright?” He asked and you nodded, smiling while wiping your tears. And you knew, you're just lying to yourself. 
It's been months, five months to be exact. You never returned to Japan, the memories hurt you so much to enjoy the scenery of Japan. But it was an in-demand country. A country that your magazine editor liked so much. So you're on the plane ride to Japan, nervous to bump into someone you actually know. 
It was like the heavens hated you that the editor wanted you to go to Osaka to take pictures. Of all the places, why there? You're too scared. What if you bump into him? 
You met with a local to discuss the booming coffee shops in the district. To your surprise, she suggested the renaissance themed coffee shop where you last went with Shotaro. The same coffee shop where you saw Yuta and another girl. The thing you wanted to do before, to take pictures of the said coffee shop, happened. You were still in awe at how it looked, nothing changed.
"Y/N!" Someone called that startled you. "You're here!" Shotaro hugged you and you smiled widely at him, he's always a ball of sunlight. "It was nice to see you again." 
"You too." You whispered then bowed at the editor to excuse you for a second. "How have you been?"
The smile on his face is so contagious that you're suddenly thankful you bumped into him. "Good." You smiled, nodding at him. "It's my birthday tomorrow. You should go to our house and…" He stopped when you sighed. He knew you broke up with his cousin, why is he doing this? "Please. He never talked to me after you left." And that startled you. Yuta and Shotaro had been so close, like real brothers. "And grandma would love to see you again so please, Y/N." 
You can't say no. Not when he has those pleading eyes and the wide smile. You nodded which made him cheer in delight. "I'll see you tomorrow Y/N." He said while waving goodbye to you. Once you returned back to your work, a heavy sigh escaped your lips. Damn it, you really can't escape him. 
Their house didn't change, that was what you thought. The warmth of both Nakamoto and Osaki families are still reflected outside their home. You realized that this is rather awkward. You shouldn't have come here even if you promised Shotaro. Maybe you can just tell him that…
The door opened and you were startled that it was Yuta who was standing by the doorway. "Hi." He greeted and you gave him a timid smile, "Taro was waiting for you." He opened the door widely, helping you with your coat. "Heads up, they're excited to see you again." You nodded, suddenly feeling betrayed that you were the only one nervous about meeting him again. He seemed alright with all of this. 
Anyways, it was you who left him. 
He was right. The whole family is excited to see you. Their younger cousin was crying when you entered the dining room, saying that she missed you so much. Their grandmother kept on saying that you grew beautiful and all you could ever do is smile at them. They were attentive to you, even the birthday boy who even had other guests as well. Yuta was just sitting far from you on the table. You're used to having him near you whenever meeting his family so this is a new experience. A bitter reminder that you really end everything with him. "Are you dating someone now?" Shotaro's dad asked and you can see how his wife nudged him then stared at Yuta. 
You smiled, shaking your head. "I'm too busy with work lately." They started asking about your job and even your family was brought up. Nothing changed except the fact that you felt that you shouldn't be here at all. 
It was nighttime when you decided to leave. Shotaro was playing video games with his friends so you decided not to bother about him. His younger cousin and their grandmother are already sleeping so you thought you can now leave. "It's late." Yuta's dad noted. "Let Yuta walk you to the station." 
You shook your head, claiming that it's a short walk but Yuta was already wearing his jacket, saying that he will walk you out since he had to buy Shotaro a present. Typical Yuta. You thanked his family then headed out but he stopped you then wrapped a scarf around your neck. You thanked him quietly, walking awkwardly. 
This was the first time you were alone with Yuta after what you witnessed that time, something that you wanted to forget but cannot. "Can we stop by the store real quick?" He asked and you nodded, opening the door for you. 
The store hasn't changed, the trinkets and accessories on display still captivating you. Even the owner welcomed you and claimed that it's been a long time since you returned. He was also happy that you're still together but you awkwardly shook your head that made him apologize. Your eyes feast on the hair clips as Yuta walked around the store to maybe get something. You thanked the owner when you left the store, Yuta holding two paper bags. 
It was another awkward walk to the bus station which you can almost see. You breathed hard, "I'm fine here." You tried to remove the scarf but he stopped you, claiming that it's all yours now. He handed you the two paper bags, a gift for your parents who you were meeting tomorrow. Why is he even like this? “Yuta...”
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You were startled. It held more emotions than the last time you heard the word from him. “I know I messed up. It’s all my fault and I deserve this. I don’t want you to forgive me but I dream of you every night and I hate that the last time I saw you, you were crying because of me.” You only stared. You wanted to say something, just so you can hold a conversation with him. But you honestly don’t know what to say. “When Shotaro said you’re coming, I knew I had to apologize properly.” 
“I’ve been insecure. You’re doing so well with your job that I feel like you’re slowly forgetting about me. But that was just me. I masked it as loneliness and did unforgivable things to hurt you and I’m sorry.” You breathed hard when he looked at you straight in the eyes, apologizing once again. “You were right, I don’t deserve you.” 
You shook your head. “I’m sorry for saying mean words. I shouldn’t have ended things like that. And I’m glad we had this talk.” He smiled. That lovely smile which made you fall in love with him. But now, you’re not even feeling anything else. Have you fully moved on? 
He removed his necklace, handing it to you. The promise ring serving as its pendant. “Please have this. I don’t think I can give this to any other.” You closed your palm and put the necklace inside your pocket, smiling at him. “I’m proud of what you have become. You deserve all the happiness, Y/N.” 
His hand on your cheek is warm. “You too, Yuta.” Once again, he smiled then put down his hand on his side. “And please talk to Shotaro.” He chuckled, nodding at you. 
The bus came and you watched as he sighed. “Can I hug you?” You nodded and you were enveloped in a warm hug. The hug that you once called your home. The hug that doesn’t belong to you now. “Next time you come to Japan, call me.” You nodded, thanking him for the gifts and the scarf. “Bye, Y/N.”
You smiled, “Bye, Yuta.” 
Farewell. Your farewell to your first love. Your farewell to the right love at the wrong time. 
You smiled at Yuta’s form watching you enter the crowded bus. A farewell to your true love with the wrong person. 
The bus suddenly ran that made you stumble in your balance. You might have fallen down if not for a guy holding you by the waist, “Are you alright?”  
You nodded, smiling. And now you knew, you’re not lying to yourself. 
151 notes · View notes
sleep3deprived · 3 years
Text
One Last Compliment
Pairing: Miya Atumu x F!Reader
Words count: 941
Genre: Fluff, Hurt, Angst
Warning: Mentions of death/dying, Language
Note: Hey guys! Fun fact, I'm currently editing this while I'm in school and thank God no ones near me to see bc that'd be embarrassing...ahaha
random update: why's my principal here *aggresively and quickly changes tabs*
ANyWays, hope you enjoy!!! This may or may not be based on a true story...
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Why did you let your dad drag you to this thing?
I mean, sure you wanted to go before, but now after realizing that your parents were going to be there at your secret boyfriend’s cousin’s wedding, you just want to crawl in a hole and die.
How were you supposed to figure out that your boyfriend’s cousin’s dad and your dad were friends? Much less, on good terms enough to be invited to his son’s wedding?
Now, instead of being able to talk freely with your boyfriend, away from school and parents, you’re pushed right into the vicinity of being overly cautious of making sure your father doesn’t catch either of you staring.
Atsumu told you about the wedding a few months ago, after complaining about how annoying getting a suit fitted was. You jokingly said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I attended?” which resulted in him replying “No, ‘cause ‘a can’t keep ma hands off ya and if ya came with yer family, yer dad would have ma head. ‘A need to be on his good side for future reference!”.
Honestly, you wish you never had to keep your relationship a secret. But you had to explain to him that if your father- one who doesn’t want his little girl to grow up and date just yet- realizes she’s been in a secret committed relationship for the past many months, you might as well start planning your funeral.
But it can’t be controlled. However, you know you love Atsumu, and that there’s gonna be a future with the both of you, together in some way. So you weren’t very worried. Just unbelievably sure.
You just hope you can keep the secret of being together long enough to last.
Unfortunately for you, even if you wanted to spend time with your loving boyfriend at the wedding, him being one of the groomsmen made it take up all his time.
You blow the hair blocking your face out of the way, “And here I was looking all cute for him…” you pout out.
It’s a good thing you decided to put some effort into yourself today, you guessed. Besides it being a wedding and for Atsumu, somehow he got you to introduce yourself to his grandma, aunts, cousins- who you’ve made good friends with- even his fucking family friends!
You’re basically accustomed to his whole family now.
‘Shit, this might as well be my wedding.’
“Y/N-nee-san! Save me!” A small voice screamed, grabbing onto your leg.
You looked down to see Atsumu’s little cousin, one that you’ve gotten pretty close to. “Atsumu-nii is chasing me!”
You took her into your arms while you find your boyfriend run into the lounge area towards you too.
“Oh no! The scary monster is coming! I’ll keep you safe!” You tell the little girl, holding her in a way to keep your lover away.
“Monster?! Ya fell in lo- Ya know what- fine!” Atsumu says grumpily while continuing to attempt to grab his little cousin.
Both you and the little girl laugh out. You put the small one down onto the ground “Quickly! Go run away from him before he catches you!” You tell the small child while you deal with the other man child.
Once you see the child out of sight -including the area being secluded- you find Atsumu pouting when you turn back. You giggle at his antics, taking his cheeks into your hands, “I was just joking ‘Tsum ‘Tsum.” You let out a chuckle at his behaviour.
“Well, at least put some of yer attention on me! I’m startin’ to think ya like ma cousins more than me.” He tells you with a pout.
“That’s ‘cause I do. And you’re the one walking around all busy, Mr. Groomsman.” You eye at him slyly. He gasps in fake shock, putting a hand out to his chest.
“It’s not ma fault! I wanted to talk to ya more, but the damned pictures took forever…”
“And here I was thinking you’d shower me in some compliments.” You sigh out humourlessly to him.
He looks at you amusingly, before noticing him being called by some of his family members.
“Yeah! I’ll be right there!” He says right before leaving you.
Before he does, he’s right behind you, putting both his hands on your shoulders and leaning over to put his lips against your ear and whispering against it.
“Of course ya look beautiful. Especially in white. When you spin ‘round in yer dress, it’s like looking at an angel.” He says into your ear, leaving goosebumps against your skin. The feeling of his hot breath against your neck still there.
Right after Atsumu finished his sentence, he runs back to his duties, leaving you alone, a blush dusting your cheeks, biting your cheek as an attempt to suppress the smile that crosses your face.
Years later, you constantly think of that moment. You’ve been with a few men here and there, but none have ever given you a compliment as beautiful as that.
You can still feel the emotions you felt after receiving that compliment. The warmth that spread through you, how genuine he was.
Remembering how excited he was to introduce you to his family, his brain already planning for what could have been you two happily together.
After all this time, you still think about him here and there. You would be lying if you said he didn’t leave a lasting mark on you. The memories, his touch, the feeling of security and endless love.
Yet every day, you wish that compliment wasn’t one of the last ones you got from him.
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muffindaddystyles · 3 years
Note
More of desi y/n imagines?? I really like all of yours imagines desi and other
DESI PREGO READER DURING QUARANTINE WITH HARRY!!
It was the best, delightful time in Harry’s life. During quarantine when they found out they were two months pregnant and to say the least Harry wouldn’t stop crying into Y/N's chest because he may not thought of becoming a dad so soon but it still cocooned him with such a sanguine feeling – he became a puddle of sweetness at Y/N's toes.
After telling their families. It was bunch of well wishes and advises from them well more of Y/N's mum teaching her a list of their old traditional tricks and eating habits to stay healthy.
Y/N didn’t need a pregnancy pillow at all. Harry fulfilled that role with such dignity and proud, happy to have her bump over his tummy and her thighs slinked around his own while she snored with little wheezy drooly breaths against his cheek wiggling everytime he traces his fingertips under the crescents of her plum tits.
They had all the time to themselves doing face masks made out of turmeric, yogurt and chickpea flour and he is never able to resist but to sneak his palm under bum and nudge her up into his lap to suckle soft kisses at her lips because she looked heart-achingly adorable in shalwar kameez Anne had tailored for her from one of her closest Indian friend for Y/N to wear in her pregnancy (because Y/N’s wardrobe’s already filled with many of them and she finds herself most comfy wearing them).
Her womb starting to get beautiful and big with passing months heralded Harry about her jesting cravings and her tremendous hormones.
He'd drive an hour to get to Waseem's grandma to get some desi makhan (organic butter) for Y/N since she’s Punjabi and it just rotted her mood when her favourite South Asian store down the block was shut most of the time, having dry parathas in brekkie used to be no fun.
“Hmm. Smells so nice.” Harry hums tipping his nose, nostrils expanding greedily to soak into it as Y/N made them passing him a cheeky smile, “It was worth tha’ boring drive,” The corner of his lips denting into a looping smile as he flutters his eyelashes up at her with his chin buried in his palm and elbow bent upon the counter.
“She even taught me how make desi makhan at home!” His chest boasted out proudly and Y/N’s head lulled at her shoulder with giggles slipping past her rosy mouth, she rounded over the counter to reach him and he had his hands already splayed forward to hold her and bring her into him.
“You’re g'na make makhan for me?” Pure love if you ask me so. When Harry rattled his head happily her lips wobbled terribly eyes glossing from feeling lightheaded with his affection and caring assiduousness for such intricate wishes for her spreading in to her bones.
“I love you, so, so, much.” She squished his cheeks between her spread palms and mantled his simpering lips, bushy cheeks and eyes with wet gaspy kisses -- sweeping his tufts of curls away to press her lips against his forehead while he kept on hugging her from belly swaying them ever so lightly.
..
They'd be binge watching Sharukh Khan's rom-coms on Netflix when she’d whine into his throat about how she’s craving jalebis so bad, she’s ready to walk bare foot to get a takeaway if that’s possible and Harry would just chuckle at her dramatic antics kissing her temple feeling the healthy pulse there and would take her along into the kitchen.
“No need fo’ tha’ baby. We could make them at home.” Harry learned to make jalebis for Y/N when they first started dating -- they had this huge fight and Y/N refused to let him be anywhere near her. Harry knew it shouldn’t have hurt him this much since he considered it just a fling, but when in a lonely bed all he missed was her warmth and her fragrance looming around him as some sort of comforting blanket he realized he wouldn’t be able to spend another night without her.
At, three in the morning he learned how to make jalebis and they might were topsy-turvy leaving stains on his clothes, sticky gooey fingers the sentiment behind it was just so pure and loving.
Y/N still remembers him popping up at her doorstep barely recognisable drenched in rain while he tried to keep the container safe under his hoodie all she was able to do was smash her lips against his wet slippery ones not caring if they tumbled into mud from her literal passionate attack.
“How ‘bout we open a sweets shop instead?” He grinned taking perfectly orange sorbet jalebis out from oil, bunny teeth fully displaying now when she giggled softly wiggling her brows at him, “Touring the world's no more fun ey?” Her heart thumps sadly when a pregnant pause lingered in air and she cooed when his shoulders slumped, fingers fumbling with the tissue paper.
“No more without ye'.” Her arms wrapping around his torso, cheek smushed under his shoulder blade as they let themselves divulge into tranquil calmness.
“Good thing's now you’ll come back to the two of us.” She tried to cheer him up and he just rubbed his stinging eyes with the heels of his palm, sighing then turning towards her to cradle her face to make her look up at him.
“You make me s'happy, y'know that?” His thumb swooning over her bottom lip tenderly and she gave him a playful nip with mischievous eyes, “Defo knows that –- gloats me ego.” She smiles into the their messy kiss tugging onto his flimsy shirt to keep her upright and snacking the plate of delights from behind him.
“Oi! Come back here y'greedy goat!” He'd complain practically stomping behind her to their bedroom.
..
The mornings are quite an experience for both of them. She’d wake up to the elated sight of him snuggled into her side, suffocating him with his rings of curls all over her face and his swelled up bulge resting heavy against her thighs.
To ease it for him she slithers her hand into his sweats brushing her fingertips along his stiffy length and giggles hoarsely when he stirs and squeezes her tighter whining aimlessly in her neck.
“Harry ...” She whispers knuckling a hand up his soft cheek and he quips lightly with a snore, “Mhmm. He’s asleep.” So, Y/N shrugs and retrieves her hand away from around his throbbing cock that supports a semi after her attention.
“No baby!” He pants out sleepily catching her wrist and guiding her touch under his heavy balls.
“Shh. Shh. Gimme a kiss.” She prods his chin with her nose to petal a warm smooch against his mouth and he pities a mewl panting ‘yeah —- yeah faster’ and ‘mhmm rub my balls uhmm j‐- just like that’ as he rocked his hips against her hand nibbling onto the sheeny skin of her exposed collarbone.
“Stop ..” He growls out pressing his bicep into mattress to lift himself up and skims tiny kisses all over her face when she whines a complain raking her palms from underneath his shirt, “But whyyyyy ....”
“Wanna cum inside you, love. Fill y’up nice and warm.” With a gentle push he presses her into pillows, hauling her leg around him —-- finger pads digging pudgy into her flesh as he lubes her to give her one of the best morning fuck.
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skzsauce01 · 3 years
Text
A Good Man
Anniversary Request Special
Description: Seungmin loves you so much so that he wished he was the one left behind in the plane crash, not your late husband.
Warning: guilt, plane crash, death
Word Count: 2k
Pairing: fem!reader x Seungmin
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Chan was a good man— loyal, loving, reliable. Seungmin is a good man too, but Seungmin is not Chan, and he knows it. He knows it well.
He approaches you, bouquet in hand. You turn and smile when you hear him.
“Hi, Seungmin.”
“Hello, Y/N. Where’s Miyeon?”
“I left her with her grandma. She isn’t quite old enough to sit still for stuff like this yet.”
“I see.” He set the flowers by the picture of his late leader. “I should leave the two of you alone then.”
“No, wait, Seungmin,” you stop him. “Would you like to have dinner with us this evening?” 
You’re inviting him to dinner? His eyes slide to Chan’s framed smiling face. No, he mustn’t get his hopes up. There probably isn’t something more to this invitation. You probably just don’t want to be alone on your late husband’s fifth death anniversary. “Sure. Where? I’ll see if any of the boys are free too.”
“No, I meant just the three of us at my place,” you clarify. “I… I have something to say.” 
Seungmin can’t stop his heart from accelerating even though he knows it’ll hurt more later. “O-okay.”
You nod and turn back to the memorial. Seungmin watches as you whisper something into the single white carnation in your hand and set it on the altar before he himself turns to give you room.
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He finds it ironic that he was actually the reason why you and Chan were together. You were his classmate whom he reunited with when Stray Kids did a reality show at a site you worked. He was even the best man at your wedding. He remembers that day clearly— that day when he saw you walking down the aisle dressed in white. He’d never felt so sick as he did then when realization and regret hit him all at once. He loves you. Since when, and for how long, he didn’t and doesn’t know, but it was and is too late. 
He finds it even more ironic, however, that he is the reason you two are now torn apart.
He raises his finger and presses the bell. Within seconds, the door is thrown open wide and a bubbly five year old greets him. “Hello, Uncle Seungmin!”
He automatically bends down and scoops the child up. “Hi there, Miyeon. Have you been a good girl today?”
“Uh-huh! You can ask Mommy!”
As if on cue, you pop out from the kitchen. “Yes, she’s been a well-behaved angel. Welcome in, Seungmin.” 
You take the melon he’d brought while he takes off his shoes. Seungmin’s a bit surprised to see three lit candles on the dining table when he walks in, but says nothing of it. He does, however, raise an eyebrow when you off-handedly mention you baked his favourite chocolate cake. He knows the recipe calls for red wine, and for a single mother such as you, anything that does not involve your child usually does not fit into your schedule, let alone cross your mind. 
After dinner, you take your daughter to her playroom upstairs with a large plate of cookies that are obviously meant to keep her distracted for a while.
Seungmin watches as you scurry back downstairs afterwards. You’re wearing a skirt. He doesn’t remember you wearing a skirt since you gave birth. He thinks you’re gorgeous in anything, but the effort you put into looking nice makes him blush a shade darker.
“Shall we?” you dramatize, pulling out the dessert.
Seungmin helps lay out two plates while you serve a slice onto each.
“You mentioned you have something to say?” he asks as you both tuck your chairs in.
Are you blushing, or is it just the heat from these candles?
“I, uh… Let’s eat first.” You smile sheepishly. “I haven’t had this in so long.”
Despite having his favourite dessert, Seungmin cannot concentrate on its taste at all. He watches as you cut through the moist cake with your fork. He can tell you’re nervous by the way your joints are turning white by your grip on the utensil. He’s used to being the anxious one, so this is new. What could have gotten you so on edge?
At last, you’ve scraped every last drop of cream you can procrastinate with into your mouth. Seungmin takes the plates and sets them into the sink before sitting back down in front of you, waiting patiently.
“What I want to say is,” you begin carefully. 
He nods once and leans forward, letting you know you have his attention.
“We’ve known each other for a while now, haven’t we?”
“Yes, why?” Goodness, this sounds like a line from every other friends-to-lover romcom skit. Not that he would mind. As long as you tell him you feel the same way he does, he wouldn’t care if you quoted “Twilight” verbatim. Oh, to be in a lighthearted romcom with you, Seungmin dreams of nothing more. Then again, he reminds himself, these are just dreams.
“Ever since… ever since Chan passed, we grew closer, and I depended on you a lot. You’ve been my cornerstone, and I wanted to say ‘thank you.’”
He nods again, but doesn’t say anything. He knows you enough by now to recognize you have more on your mind.
Indeed, you continue. “And over these past five years, my heart has—”
“Mommy!” A sudden cry sends you both to your feet. 
“I’ll tell you later,” you toss over your shoulder to Seungmin who’s running right on your heels towards the cry.
“Miyeon!” you gasp, seeing the state of your daughter. Somehow, she has managed to squeeze through the gaps between the railing of the stairs and is hanging from the second floor. Below her, her stuffed monkey lays sprawled out on ground level.
“I’ll pull her up,” you decide, but Seungmin stops you.
“It’ll be hard to fit her back through those rails, and she’s crying too much to cooperate.” He stands under your daughter and extends his arms upwards. “Miyeon? Miyeon, let go. Uncle Seungmin will catch you. You’re going to be alright.”
The little girl stops wailing for a moment and looks down only to cry again from the intimidating height.
“Sweetie, it’s okay. You can do it. We won’t let you fall,” you add in. “You trust us, don’t you? You trust Mommy and Uncle Seungmin?”
She quiets down again and sniffles as she looks at you and Seungmin now instead of the floor. Her tiny arms are shaking, and you brace yourself, knowing she’s going to fall soon whether she wants to or not.
Miyeon whimpers once more and closes her eyes. She then finally releases her grip and lands squarely into Seungmin’s awaiting arms.
“Oof. There we go. Safe and sound,” he assures her. 
Once she’s set on the floor, Miyeon again begins to bawl from shock. “Mr— Mr. Bananas wanted to climb. Mr. Bananas wanted to climb!” she sobs, gripping the stuffed animal you’ve returned back to her arms.
“Okay, okay, we understand. Still, no more climbing for you or Mr. Bananas, alright?” hushes Seungmin.
You pick up your daughter and bounce her on your shoulder. “I think she’s learned her lesson. I didn’t think we still needed baby rails, but I guess you can never be safe enough.”
Seungmin reaches for Miyeon. “Let’s put her to bed. She must be exhausted after all that.”
You nod and let him carry the five year old up the stairs once more. You have him wait downstairs though as you change the child, so he heads back down and makes himself comfortable on the couch. On the lamp table beside him, there’s a photo of you and Chan excitedly holding up an ultrasound. It is the only picture of the three of you together.
He runs this thumb over the other man’s face, wiping it free of any dust. “I’m sorry…” he whispers. “I know it’s not worth much, but I’ll keep Y/N and Miyeon safe and happy. I promise.” 
He quickly sets down the picture and stands when he hears you closing the bedroom door. 
“Is she alright?” Seungmin asks when he sees your head appear from around the corner.
You nod, descending the steps quietly. “She’s sleeping now. She’ll forget all about it by tomorrow morning.”
“I wish I could say the same when I get hurt. I can’t even sit in certain positions anymore,” he jokes.
You laugh lightly. “I’m glad you were here, Seungmin. Things could have been a lot different if it were just me.”
“I’m always happy to help. I should get going now though. You must be tired too.”
“Wait.” Your voice stops him at the front door. “The accident… I’m thankful you were here, and I realized it had to be you. You had to be the one to do it.”
His stupid hope is rising again. He can feel it in his chest. “Y/N, what are you saying?”
“Miyeon, she wouldn’t have trusted anyone except you. She needs you, and I… I need you too.” 
Is he hearing incorrectly? His silence and bewilderment prompts you to explain. “The thing is, ever since Chan passed five years ago, you were the only one who’s been by my side, supporting and caring for me, and slowly, I’ve fallen for that. Seungmin, I know I come with a lot of baggage, but would you be willing to give us a try?”
He wants to jump, he wants to cheer, he wants to accept your confession, but none of this makes sense to logical Seungmin, so he restrains himself.
“Y/N, do you realize what you’re saying?”
You nod. “I-I know it’s sudden, but I like you, Kim Seungmin.”
“But you love Chan.”
You hesitate but nod in agreement anyway. “I’m not going to put you second. I—”
“Y/N, I killed Chan. Don’t you see? You should hate me instead. If it weren’t for me, you’d still have your husband, and Miyeon would still have a dad. If I hadn’t stood under that propeller after the plane crash, Chan wouldn’t have had to push me and get crushed in the head. I killed Chan, and no matter what I do— no matter how much I love you too— I can never stand in his place.”
You take a moment to stare at him, trying to read his body language after that confession of insecurity. After a while, you straighten your back and look him right in the eyes.
“You’re right.” He’s startled by your sudden firm tone. “You can never be Chan. You’re not a music-producing insomniac. You’re not Australian. You’re not born with curly hair.”
He swallows and hangs his head.
“But,” you continue. “I’m not looking for another Chan. I’m not looking to replace him; I’m looking for you.”
“Y/N…”
You soften your voice. “When I found out how he passed saving you, I knew I was going to be okay. I knew Chan wouldn’t leave me and his unborn child to fend for ourselves. He saved you because he knew he could count on you, and it’s why I trusted you from the beginning and why I let myself fall in love again.”
You walk up to him and take his hands. “Let me ask this again. Will you, Kim Seungmin, stand by my side, not as Chan, but as someone who loves and is loved?”
His heart pounds in his head, yet he cannot take his eyes off of yours. His throat is tied into knots, yet he cannot stop the words from tumbling out.
“Nothing would make me happier,” he breathes. 
You smile and wrap him in a hug, which he finally returns. Just then, footsteps thump down the stairs and a five year old child waddles into view.
“Mommy?” she calls. She then takes a moment to look around before her eyes land on Seungmin. “Daddy?”
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sunaswife · 3 years
Text
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Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.
🔪: <3 thanks for all the support so far
Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload
Previously Up Next Masterlist
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Chapter Thirteen
“Kuroo-San I’m very flattered but in reality I’m seeing someone.” You chuckled awkwardly as you both walked to the lounge after today’s game. “Really?! Since when! About a month ago during the black Jackals game you just said you were a single mom!” He exclaimed. “Well..in reality..I’m trying to make amends with the father of my children. We were both dumb and immature but now since we’re older, we can have a decent conversation. And I still have feelings for him in a way and he’s already confessed..so...” you scratched the back on your head. “Have you accepted his confession..?” He asked. “Well..I mean I kind of changed the subject..” you replied awkwardly. “Poor guy..” he put his hand on his chest as if he felt the pain. “Well it’s not right to pressure someone into going on a date with them so I’m sorry. I was out of line. And I hope everything goes well between you and Rintarou.” He said with a soft smile. He patted your head and walked away down the other hall, you just stood there dumbfounded. How does he know Rin is the dad..?
You haven’t checked social media or sports news so you’re not sure if people already know. You made you way into the lounge and opened your small locker. You took out your purse and walked to your car, you tried walking as fast as possible to avoid talking to people and when you were in the comfort of your car you took out your phone.
Your eyes widened at the amount of phone calls and messages Rin sent. You didn’t even have a chance to read the messages since you decided to call back Rin and wonder what is going on. “It’s about time you answer.” He immediately gritted, he obviously sounded pissed. “Excuse me?” You immediately said with such confusion.
Does he seriously think he can get away with talking to you like that?
“I said it’s about time you fucking answered. Why weren’t you answering my calls or messages?” He asked. “I was obviously working.” You said in a duh tone. “Is something wrong?” You asked. “YES something is wrong! My son almost died and I didn’t know what to do!”
Your heart dropped. He almost...died..? “W-wait—“ you shook your head. “What do you mean he almost died?” You asked. “He had an allergy attack and I had to use an epipen. I didn’t know what to do at the hospital. I rarely had any information. You never told me if the kids had insurance or anything.” “Is Rini okay?” You immediately asked. “Yes he’s fine. But you didn—“
“I’m on my way. For the next eight hours, think before you speak, okay? Don’t say anything you’ll regret.” You warned. “Whatever.” He muttered and hung up. Immediately your heart clenched and you threw your phone at the passenger seat. You rubbed your face and leaned forward and gripped the steering wheel.
“What the fuck.” You sighed. Throughout the drive back to Hyogo your hands began shaking thinking about your kids and Rin. The kids went through something traumatic, and you weren’t there to help them or to protect them. What kind of mother are you? You wanted to slap yourself so hard, jump off a cliff. Receive some sort of punishment for being such a stupid mother and trusting Rin with your children.
After a few hours, your makeup needed a touch up, your hair was a mess for running your hands through your hair hoping your son is okay. Your eyes felt droopy. You’ve only slept a good six hours between drives and it’s way past midnight. The sun began to rise and you finally passed the billboard welcoming you to the hyogo prefecture. You went to the hospital Rin said they were at and you quickly parked and made your way inside.
The poor lady in the office seemed startled at your appearance, your clothes were wrinkled, and your shirt was untucked and unbuttoned from the top, you had bags under your eyes, you were a whole mess. When she gave the room number you slipped off your heels and began jogging to your location. The door was opened so you peeked in and saw your daughter playing with her fox plush on the uncomfortable couch chair.
It was like she sensed you so she looked up and you made eye contact with your little girl. Her eyes immediately watered and she hopped off the chair crying. “Mommy!” She sobbed and you immediately bent down to pick her up. You held her close and her grip tightened around your shoulders. “Rini doesn’t feel good..” she mumbled in your ear. “I know baby, I know.” You answered and dropped your heels by the entrance.
You made you way inside and saw Rin hunched over on the bed sleeping. He was holding Rini’s hand who was also asleep. He looked alright and you sighed in relief. “Have you slept, Akira?” You asked and she nodded. “I slept with Rini, but grandma wanted me to go back home with her. But Rini needed me. He’s my twin.” She wiped her eyes and slightly pulled away. You neared the other side of the bed and pulled the lounge chair closer so you can sit. Akira was on your left thigh with her head still on your shoulder. You looked at Rini sleeping and you brushed some hair out of his face. He slowly opened his eyes and he smiled lazily, “I missed you momma..” he mumbled. “I missed you too. I came as fast as I could.” You assured. “I was so scared.” He admitted. “I know..and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.” Your eyes began to water. “Don’t cry mommy.... then I’ll cry..” Rini held your hand with his free hand.
Your wiped under your eyes with the sleeve of your blazer to stop the tears from falling and you smiled again. “Okay I won’t cry.” You said and released a breath. “Can you sing me a song?” Akira asked in your neck, “Yeah I want a song too, please.” Rini pouted and you nodded. They had a favorite song from a certain show that they enjoyed the most. You began to sing softly and Rini squeezed your hand and Akira began to fall asleep again.
I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
'Cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you
Look at you go
I just adore you
I wish that I knew
What makes you think I'm so special
You saw as Rini’s eyes began to close so he could fall back to sleep, you heard snoring right in your ear and realized Akira knocked out as well. “You have a beautiful voice.” Rin said softly as he rested his head on the side of his arm. “Sorry that I woke you up.” You quickly apologized. “No it’s fine..” he yawned and slowly sat up. He winced slightly, “Damn I need to see a chiropractor.” He muttered and you released a small chuckle. “Me too.” You said.
“So is Rini okay? What happened?” You asked and he sighed and looked into your eyes. “My mom got some burgers from a restaurant where peanut oil is used. She didn’t know Rini was allergic and I didn’t check the bag.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You raised your voice and his eyes widened. “Your mom almost killed our son and you blame me for leaving you without any information?” You asked and he looked down guilty. “She didn’t kn—“
“Of course she doesn’t know because all day she was acting like a conceited bitch instead of being a grandmother to her grandkids. She even called me a whore—“
“No she didn’t.” He immediately interrupted. “She didn’t because you stopped her. But that’s what she thinks right? I model for Hana’s company to support her and to build up my self esteem and now I’m a whore? And you had the audacity to talk to me so rudely when I didn’t do anything. If you’re going to be treating me like that then there’s the fucking door. You understand? Never again will I be disrespected by a man.” You said and he had no words.
“You make it seem like I did it on purpose. I was sleep deprived and scared. I felt like I was going to throw up.” Rin squinted his narrow eyes.
“Do you have any idea what I felt when I got a call eight hours away that my son almost died? Imagine how I feel when he calls out to me and I’m not there. I feel like I failed them as a mom, my chest hurts and I’ve always been there. Always. And now I leave them in your hands and something happens and I can’t get there soon? I almost had a panic attack on the drive!” You exclaimed and he stayed silent. He didn’t want to continue fighting. He’s sure the kids are awake and listening to everything.
“I’m sorry.” He said and looked at his hands. He felt defeated and disappointed. You shouldn’t be so hard on him, it’s been less than a month since he took on this role. “Hey look at me.” You called softly, he looked up and you made eye contact once more. “I’m sorry for going off on you like this, I’m just as upset and afraid as you are and I’m sure you haven’t slept much.”
“I could say the same for you, you look like shit.” He cracked a tiny smile and you rolled your eyes with a giggle. “So did your mom eventually decide to be a grandma or she still hates me so she’s not getting close?” You asked. “She went back home to bring some clothes and then to get us some breakfast. I sent her a screenshot of my notes.” He said and you nodded. You obviously still felt uneasy with her, but they deserve a grandma and if she’s being civil you have no reason to take them away from her.
There was a knock at the door and you and Rin immediately turned your heads. “Oh you must be mom..” the doctor said. “Yeah I’m mom.” You said. She explained that Rini stayed longer than usual because he is a child. After a severe allergic reaction there can be aftershocks hours after the person receives treatment and that can lead to a seizure. She praised Rin for quick thinking and following proper steps to insure his child’s safety.
When the doctor left, Rin’s mom waltzes in and she freezes when she sees you. You take a deep breath and release and decide that it’s best to keep quiet. You wouldn’t want a clique animosity between you and your maybe future mother in law.
“I brought Rini some spare clothes.” She said as she opened Rin’s old gym bag. “He doesn’t own that jacket.” You pointed out. Her face flushed slightly, “I know..but this was Rintarou’s favorite jacket when he was his age..I thought it would be nice to wear. I have a lot of Rin’s old baby and child clothes.” She admitted softly, almost scared that you would snap any minute. And you would, so she was wise to walk on eggshells.
“Okay that’s fine.” You gave in. You helped Rini get dressed while Rin was talking to the doctor and getting ready to check out. You walked barefoot down the hall with your pink heels in your right hand, while Akira held your left hand. Rini was holding hands with Suna and Rin’s mom was holding their stuffed animals. She trailed behind you four and saw how you and Rin swung akira with you arms, her little giggles filled the hall releasing serotonin to the patients and nurses nearby.
“Momma aren’t you gonna put your shoes on?” Rini asked, “My feet hurt and I don’t feel like falling.” “But it’s hot outside, you can burn your feet.” Rin spoke up, “I think I’ll be fine.” You assured. He rolled his eyes and let go of the kids. You were about to step on the asphalt of the parking lot after checking both sides and all of a sudden you’re being knocked back from your legs and carried bridal style. “RINTAROU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT.”
“Nah.”
The kids giggled at their parents funny behavior, you kicked the air and squirmed but his grip tightened. “Do you really wanna get down?” He asked and you said yes. He pretended to drop you and you gripped onto his shirt for dear life and he started laughing. “I swear to God I am going to kick you where the sun doesn’t shine.” You muttered. He finally put you down but you were so distracted you were already at your car.
Karin took the kids to her car since the car seats are in there, so now it’s just you and Rin. “You give me a headache.” You told him. “But you love this headache—“ both your eyes widened and he stopped, “—sorry.” He immediately apologized.
You turned away to yawn and you muttered an it’s okay. He opened the car door for you just like old times, much to your dismay and he closed it when you entered. You put on your seatbelt and he fixed the seat and complained at how tiny you were. He was expecting you to fight back and bicker but you were already asleep.
He leaned forward and fixed your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck. He started the car and began driving back home. He saw the two empty cups of coffee and some energy bar wrappers on the floor. The phone wasn’t playing any music but the volume was up to 20. You must have been so tired driving all last night and the night before for nine straight hours. No wonder you blasted music to keep you up and drank coffee.
He soon made it home and tried waking you up, but you didn’t budge. Not even shaking you work. You were a muttering unconscious mess when he helped you out and carried you bridal style once again. His mom let him in and he told Akira to unroll the futon in the living room since he couldn’t take you upstairs. He successfully placed you down and helped take of your blazer, he thanked god you were wearing an undershirt thanks to akira checking (no somnophilia shit here atm) and he helped unbutton your dress shirt so you wouldn’t feel hot. He put a light blanket over you. “Can’t believe I have to get you ready for bed like a child.” He muttered with a shake of his head. “Silence bottom, it’s mimi’s time.” You said in your sleep.
The kids ate their breakfast in the car as well as Karin. They were already awake and playing with Chewy outside again. “Mom.” He called, “Yes?” She asked from the kitchen. “Can I borrow your makeup wipes?” He asked. She smiled softly, looking out the window to check on the kids. “Yeah go ahead, they’re in the bathroom.”
Rin came back with the wipes and began wiping the makeup off your face. He didn’t want to press too hard to hurt you. But damn, this makeup was hard to take off. Finally you slept comfortably without makeup, without any interruptions. “Sweet dreams, love.” He smiled and moved the hair away from your face.
He stood up and grabbed the bag with all the kids school stuff and sat in the picnic table outside. “Alright you rascals time for school!” He yelled and the kids yelled an okay and went to join their dad.
“Hey dad..” Rini said. “What’s up?” Rin looked at his son, “I love you a lot. To infinity and beyond. Mama says that’s called unconditional love.” He said and Rin smiled with a nod. “Exactly, and I love you two unconditionally as well.” He said and Akira peered up from her work sheet. “Do you love mom unconditionally?” She asked Rintarou.
“Yeah. Yeah I do.”
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Fun facts:
Someone asked me to do fun facts and if I had any for future chapters so here I go
The song YN sang is love like you from Steven universe but this is my fav version.
‘Mimi’s’ means sleeping time, Akira didn’t know how to say sleeping when she was a toddler so she would say Mimi’s cuz uncle Oikawa would say “es tiempo de dormir.” Which means ‘it’s time to sleep’. So MIMIS is taken for the ‘mir’ in dormir. (Sorry that was a long explanation) (if you live in a Mexican household then u might usually hear this)
YN drives a Black Honda CR-V (nice mom van) ☺️ while Rin has a White Nissan GT-R but he’s thinking of trading it in for a four door sports car to take the kids and yn along
Rin still has his old black mustang in a garage rental back in Tokyo where he would drive with YN everywhere. He wants to fix it up and gift it to one of his kids when they’re older 🥺
Idk why I’m talking about cars
Rin was a blushing mess when he was getting yn ready for bed and his heart stopped when she snuggled into him
After he admitted he loved YN unconditionally, Akira called him a simp
🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @atsumusdomain @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar
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janetbrown711 · 3 years
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"Don't be scared, I'm right here," Yakko?
The Warner siblings were doing okay.
Sure, there were a few bumps along the path here and there, Wakko almost passing out being one of them, but ever since Yakko got some food in him, he was starting to look and feel better. Not his usual self, of course (you can’t just shake off starvation like that), but better. Then again, almost anything is a better state than dying. 
But still.
Nothing major had happened. They were sailing smoothly up and down the mountains, the wind and snow on their side. They were even having a little bit of fun again. It was... nice. 
“So the wishing star can really give you anything you want?” Dot asked. Wakko nodded. 
“That’s what Pip said,” He grinned, his tongue sticking out. 
“So we’re really gonna get mom and dad back? Wow,” Dot smiled a little. “I’m done with grandma.”
“I think you speak for all of us when you say that,” Yakko laughed. 
“What do wanna do when they come back?” Dot asked her brothers. 
“I think I’d give them a big hug and then we’d go back to the garden and have a big fancy picnic all day, just like the ones we used to have on mine and Dadoo’s birthday,” Wakko grinned. 
“What about you Yakko?” Dot turned her head to him. 
“That’s a good one...” Yakko thought for a moment. Truthfully, he had no idea. He’d been preoccupied with worries about his sibs ever since they died he hardly had the time to envision what he’d do if they came back or never died. He had to give it some thought. 
“I’d hug them, obviously. Then, I’d tell them about all the good things they missed, the lessons we’ve given you, the birthdays, and other good things like that. Then, I’d just... spend time with them. We wouldn’t have to do anything- just to sit in a room and read with them in the room too would be enough for me...” Yakko thought aloud. 
“Oooo, that sounds nice,” Dot smiled a little. 
“What about you Dot?” Yakko asked.  Dot sat and thought. 
“I think I’d hug them, tell them how much I missed them, and then have mom brush my hair and sing lullabies, and Dad reads bedtime stories... maybe we’d even play dolls together,” Dot hugged herself a little, touching her hair lightly. 
“It’s been so long... I barely remember what it felt like...” Dot frowned. Yakko felt a wave of sadness and empathy for her. 
“It’s okay Dot- mom will be back brushing your hair and singing lullabies and Dad’ll be back with his stories before you know it,” Yakko reassured, and Dot’s face brightened. 
“Yeah! They’ll be back before I know it,” She said happily. 
“How much longer do you think, Yakko?” Wakko asked. 
“Probably within the hour.” 
That felt crazy to say. 
“Within the hour.”
His parents were less than an hour away. 
This was actually happening. 
“Cool,” Wakko nodded. 
“Yeah... cool,” Yakko chuckled, still reeling at the thought.
The siblings rode in silence for a moment, each processing just how close they were, getting more and more excited the more they thought about it. 
This wasn’t some far-off fantasy- the star was right there, just beyond. All they had to do was reach it first, and since they hadn’t run into any other travelers it actually looked like they’d make it- it seemed luck was finally on their side for once.  
“Hey Yakko- there’s someone behind us,” Wakko pulled on Yakko’s pant leg and pointed. 
Of course there was...
Yakko sighed, and looked, before freezing. 
It was the royal carriage. 
“Fire!” A voice from within the carriage ordered. 
“You two- get down,” Yakko ordered, as a cannon was heard, and it exploded no more than two feet to the left of them. Dot and Wakko were quick to obey. 
“Of course her carriage has a cannon- of course it does,” Yakko growled as he steered them away, as he heard it fire again, this time landing two feet from their right. 
“Yakko- are we gonna-?”
“Everything’s gonna be okay, I got you,” Yakko assured, looking back and saw Angelina sticking her head out the window. 
She looked terrible. The wind caused her usually perfect up-do to lose quite a few hairs, which were now flapping in the wind. Rage had consumed her, and her usually refined makeup created dark smudgy circles under her eyes. Her fur shawl also slipped off of one shoulder, and overall she looked like she was losing it. 
Huh. 
Yakko did always wonder what would happen if they tried to run away. 
Guess that was the answer. 
Yakko then put his attention back onto the path ahead, and bit his lip when he realized it was about to get a little narrow, meaning he probably couldn’t weave should they aim directly for them... though he could try... Hopefully, the person firing was a better person than their grandmother, and wouldn’t aim for them, not on purpose...
“It’ll be okay,” Yakko said again, sucking in a breath of cold air as he weaved through a few trees before going onto the narrow path. 
Thankfully, it appeared the person in charge of firing was either a poor shot or wasn’t aiming for them on purpose like he wanted, because no matter what, he always hit the mountainside. However, this wasn’t a good thing, because it caused the snow to shift and for rocks to fall onto the path, which Yakko feared would cause either an avalanche or rockslide- neither of which would be good.
“Is that grandma?” Wakko asked, peeping his head to look. 
“I said to stay down,” Yakko ordered, and Wakko went back down.  
The cannon fired again, this time sending a loud cracking sound through the mountain. 
Yakko just had to jinx it, didn’t he?
He heard the guard behind on the carriage curse, and Yakko tried to pick up the speed of the sled before anything happened- they were almost down too- After that it was just an open field to the wishing star. 
“Yakko- a-are you sure we’re gonna-”
“We’re gonna make it Dot, I promise,” Yakko really didn’t want to deal with any kind of negativity at the moment. He had to focus. 
Just as he predicted, the guard had shot into the cliff, which was now causing massive amounts of snow and rock to start plummeting down the mountain, in a weird mix of “avalanche” and “rockslide”. 
“If we weren’t wishing for our parents back, I’d wish we had better luck,” Yakko muttered, trying to avoid falling rocks as the path widened once more. 
“Agreed,” Wakko said, holding onto Dot. That was good at least...
The impending doom as it became clearer that there was no way they were going to make it off the mountain without being knocked off their feet and losing the sled or worse was not. 
“Brace yourselves you two,” Yakko said, not knowing what advice he should give. He had never survived an avalanche- what did he expect?
Eventually, Yakko held onto his siblings too closing his eyes and bracing himself when he felt the sled get turned over and the three of them were tossed into the air. 
The three of them flew for what felt like too long, before hitting the snow with a  sharp thud which forced them to let go of each other. 
With all the strength Yakko had in him, he clawed and dug his way out of the snow, and was relieved that both of his sibs had at least gotten their hands to the top by the time he was all the way out. Quickly, Yakko got the rest of him out, and dug out his sibs, surprised to find they had already reached the plane. 
“There it is... the Wishing Star,” he said as he helped Wakko stand. 
“Wow...” Dot said in awe. Yakko looked back and saw that somehow their grandmother’s stupid carriage had survived.
“C’mon, we have no time to lose,” he said, taking his sibs hands and running for it. 
He was not going to lose to her. Not here, not now, not ever. 
He heard shouting from behind, likely Angelina losing her mind even more than she already had. He couldn’t care less- he was focused more on getting to the star than whatever She was saying. Dot however, kept turning her head. 
“Don’t look back Dot,” He ordered. Dot didn’t listen.
“I don’t care anymore- get the smaller one!” He heard, and Yakko panicked picked up the pace. However, Dot froze in her tracks, letting go of Yakko’s hand, looking back. 
“Wakko! Watch out!” She shouted, shoving him out of the way-
An ear-piercing gunshot rang through the plane, and Dot screamed in pain, before falling to the ground. 
“Dot!” Yakko screeched to a halt and ran back to her, while Wakko remained frozen on the ground in shock. 
The snow around her was already turning red. 
“Oh god- oh god oh god oh god-” was the only thing Yakko could say as he knelt onto the snow and examined his sister. 
“Y-y-yakko-” She said, shuddering in pain, which only made it worse. Yakko put her head on his knees and held her hand. 
He could hear arguing from behind. 
“It’s gonna be okay Dot- It’s gonna be okay,” he said, tears already filling his eyes and a tight lump formed in his throat. 
“I-it hurts Yakko,” she said, fear in her eyes. 
“I know Dot, b-but it’s gonna be okay,” Wakko managed to say, crawling over from where he was. Yakko looked up to try to see if he could see their grandmother, but he couldn’t. Yakko realized he didn’t care- he couldn’t care. Not right now. 
Dot shuddered in pain. “I-i wanna go home,” She said. 
“I know Dot, we’re gonna. We’re gonna get our wish and we’re gonna go home, okay? W-we’ll pick you up and carry you if we have to,” Yakko said shakily. 
“I-i’m scared,” she practically whispered. 
“Don’t be scared, I’m right here,” Yakko assured, giving her hand a squeeze. Dot cringed as her breathing got more unsteady. She turned her head away from her brothers. 
“M-mom? Dad?” She asked weakly. Yakko sniffled and wiped his eyes. 
“They aren’t here Dot- th-they-” 
Wakko tugged on his arm. Yakko looked up. 
His parents were there, running in the snow with all their might. 
“Th-they... they can’t...” Yakko couldn’t say anything. The siblings were dumbstruck. 
“Mommy! Daddy!!!” Dot was sobbing now too. 
“Dottie!!!” Their parents cried out in unison, picking up their pace until they reached them. 
“Y-you’re... y-you can’t...” Yakko couldn’t speak. Wakko practically lept into his mother’s arms sobbing, while William went and held Dot’s other hand. 
“It’s okay, Dot. W-we’re here pumpkin,” William said, placing a soft hand on her cheek. 
“Daddy, i-it really hurts,” she cried. 
“I-i know pumpkin,” William said, as he slowly picked her up. Yakko couldn’t move a muscle, dumbstruck and numb at the scene that laid before him. 
“It’s gonna be okay- alright? Everything is gonna be just fine,” he spoke so softly...
“I wanna go home. I wanna hear a story,” She said, gasping in pain. 
“We’ll go home real soon, okay pumpkin? We’ll go home and we’ll read you a bedtime story and tuck you in, alright?” He asked. Dot nodded even though the action clearly pained her. 
“I-i w-wanna go home,” she sobbed, closing her eyes intensely. 
“I know sweetie,” William hugged her closer, rubbing his face against hers. 
“Y-y-yakko,” Dot turned her head weakly. 
“Y-yeah? I-I’m here, Dot,” Yakko wiped his eyes, being forced back into the moment. William slowly set her back down again and he held her hand once more.
“Yakko, you’ll go home too, right?” She sniffled and smiled weakly. 
“O-of course. All of us- we’ll all be there, okay? We’re gonna get our wish and we’re gonna go home, okay?” Yakko asked, looking at his parents and Wakko. 
“O-okay,” she smiled a little more. “We-we’re gonna go home, a-and be together- a big happy family,” she said. 
“Y-yeah Dot. A big happy f-family,” Yakko stroked her face with his thumb, doing his best not to choke. 
“Together...” Dot said, before another wave of pain washed over her. 
“Yakko I don’t wanna die,” she looked at him. “I-i’m not ready to die.”
“Dot- no. Y-you can’t die-” Yakko pleaded with her. 
“Yakko I wanna go home,” She cried, squeezing his hand with all the weak might within her. 
“It’s gonna be okay, Dot. Y-you aren’t gonna die,” William said, but it was clear the light was already fading. 
“I-i l-l-love y-you...”
Her eyes became glossed over, and she went limp. 
No. 
No, no, no. 
William checked for a pulse. 
No. 
He checked for breathing. 
This can’t be- she couldn’t be-
Eventually, he just picked her up and broke down. 
Yakko couldn’t believe this. It wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. 
Dot... 
Dot was dead. 
.o0o.
Dot was dead. 
Her baby girl was dead. 
Lena hadn’t said a word- why hadn't she said anything?!
She should’ve said something- anything, but now-
Oh god. 
She hugged Wakko tighter. 
She tried looking down at Dot, but she couldn’t-
God, there was so much blood. 
Instead, she looked away- out towards the mountains- where she saw-
No...
She wouldn’t-
She would. 
The next emotion Lena felt was rage. It consumed her, mixing in with her grief and anguish. She sprang to life, picking up William’s sword and running toward the Wishing Star, fueled by her anger and hatred.  
She ignored any pain felt in her legs, focusing only on stopping Her- she couldn’t reach the star. 
“Stop. Right. There,” She said, cutting off her mother from the star, pointing the sword at her mother. 
“Angelina,” The queen halted, even taking a step back. “Y-you’re supposed to be dead.”
“You’d know that, wouldn’t you?” Lena glared. “Your assassins failed. William and I survived.”
“Not without scars, I see,” Angelina looked her daughter up and down in disgust, regarding the massive scar on her shoulder. Lena glared. 
“I don’t care about that. You took everything from me- you killed Dot,” Lena was crying. 
“They were aiming for that abomination of a younger son,” Angelina rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault that girl was foolish enough to jump in the way.”
“You do not get to speak of her or Wakko that way,” Lena stepped forward, the sword now inches away from the queen. She laughed. 
“You don’t have the guts,” She smiled. “You’re soft and weak. Never once have you ever fought back.” 
“Ever since I was born, you’ve hated me. You’ve exploited me, broken me, destroyed me. All of this I could’ve found within myself to forgive, but the moment you laid a hand on my children was the moment you signed your death certificate,” Lena stepped forward. 
“And yet you’ve never retaliated,” Angelina was still holding onto her pride. 
“You’ve taken everything from me,” Lena didn’t regard that comment. “I used to think there was hope- I was foolish, a child even. But now I know you’re nothing but a selfish monster. A monster who I will never let hurt me or my family ever again.”
“You foolish ingrate-”
“Goodbye, mother.” Lena said, before stepping back and stabbing the sword through her. 
Her mother’s body hit the snow, and she was dead without another word.
Good Riddance. 
Lena went back to her family.  
She gave Yakko a hug. 
“We can still fix this,” Lena said. Yakko sniffled, confused. Lena helped him up, Wakko too. 
“William,” She said softly. Her husband looked at her, and she gestured toward the star. He nodded, picking up Dot, and standing. 
Lena took in a deep breath, squeezing both of her boy’s hands before walking towards the Wishing Star. When they reached it, Wakko silently asked for her permission to touch it. Lena nodded, and Wakko reached forward, and the star shined brighter, a burst of light shooting through the sky. 
Wakko closed his eyes and made his wish. 
The star’s glow increase, as it expanded, sending a refreshingly warm breeze through the air until it disappeared completely, leaving only grass behind from where the star had melted the snow. Everyone held their breath. 
“D-dad..? M-mom? What..?” Dot opened her eyes.
“Dot,” Lena smiled, tears of relief and joy now flowing. 
Quickly, everyone wrapped Dot into a big, sobbing, relieving, and loving group hug.
Dot was alive, and everything was okay.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
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vintagedolan · 3 years
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mixtape | epilogue
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authors note: I truly cannot thank you enough for your support, love, kind words and overall interest throughout this story. Writing this whole thing has really changed my life in a lot of ways, both through my characters and through proving to myself that I can actually bring something like Mixtape to fruition. I love you all, loud, from the bottom of my heart. I hope this epilogue is all you hoped it would be, and now we can finally start with post-fic concepts. Enjoy!!!
| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |
“Four… Five… Seven!”
“Six babe. Five, six, seven.”
“Five seven.” 
In Beks smile, all Grayson could see was Indiana. As far as the rest of his daughter, she looked just like him. Brown hair, brown eyes, even the same little dimple. But her smile, and the feeling it gave him in his gut? That was all Indiana. His wife, who was unfortunately still pacing a bit in the terminal, a coffee in her hands. 
As soon as she realized that they were back from their walk, she perked up, putting on her brave face for Beks so she didn’t think anything was wrong. 
“Mama! Hi mama!”
“Hi sweet girl.” She held her hands out for her daughter, smiling when she gleefully reached for her. Grayson passed her over without a hesitation. As little as their almost three year old was, she was her mom’s biggest anchor when things got hard. 
“You okay?” He asked it quietly while Beks was distracted, twirling a piece of her mom’s hair around her little fingers. 
Indy looked at the clock. 5 minutes till boarding. 
Her face was enough of an answer for her husband, and he frowned.
“Nauseous?”
She nodded. 
“We’ll be okay,” he offered, reaching out for her free hand to squeeze it and trace a heart. It relaxed her a tiny bit, but she still bit her lip.
“My whole world is about to be in a plane, out of my control.” She turned her head to kiss Bekah’s hair. “She’s so small. Nothing I could do if…”
“Hey, hey none of that. You know what Bethany says about the doomsday stuff.”
“Unhelpful, unlikely and unproductive.” Indy whispered her therapists words back to herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She’d gotten better about flying, accomplished things she never thought she would. Charlie and Devin’s wedding in Oregon, her own wedding in Maui, flying back and forth to see Lisa, trips to Australia even. But things changed when she got pregnant. Now, her heart lived outside of her body, in a tiny almost toddler who was as content as could be on her hip. The flight to Jersey had been decent, but the way home seemed like an impossible hurtle.
“It’ll all be over in a few hours. And then we’ll be home, back to our bed and our house.” Grayson wished he could fix it, wished he could take it on himself. But all he could really do was squeeze her hand and stay calm.
Indy nodded, but when the gate attendant came over the intercom she felt like she could vomit right there. She silently passed Beks over to Grayson and fumbled for their boarding passes with shaky hands. 
“Plane daddy! There’s a plane!” Bekah smiled, pointing out the window as another aircraft taxied by. 
“Yeah! It’s big, isn’t it,” Grayson tickled her belly and kissed her cheek as he readjusted the diaper bag over his shoulder and headed into the boarding lane behind Indy. They made their way down the jet bridge and into first class, Indy moving to the window seat and immediately holding out her hands for Bekah. They’d been blessed with a very happy baby who was content most of the time as long as she had a familiar face with her. She sat on Indy’s lap and played with the necklace she had on, rubbing at her eyes with the other hand. 
“You tired bubba?” Grayson sat down and ran a hand over her back. Beks nodded slowly. “Here, c’mere, give momma a break.”
Indy passed her back over, melting like she always did when Bekah leaned forward onto Grayson’s chest, relaxing fully in the safety of his arms. She loved nothing more than seeing the father he was to their little girl. It was more than she could have ever asked for, and she watched as he moved her just enough to get his seatbelt on, knowing she would be asleep in a few minutes.
He hummed to her quietly, moving a hand over her ear to quiet the inevitable announcements from the flight attendants, and Indy watched as her eyes fluttered closed, long eyelashes resting on pink cheeks. 
“Is she out?” Grayson dared to ask after a few minutes.
Indy nodded, her eyes burning a bit as she fought back tears. Bekah just looked so small, and fragile, and the plane was moving and she felt like she couldn’t control anything, not even her emotions. 
“Do you want to hold her? Would that help?”
“No, she’s comfy it’s okay, I don’t want to wake her up,” Indy whispered, shaking her head. Even still, she stretched a hand over into Grayson’s seat, trying to catch her breath and focus on the feeling of his hand in hers, his wedding ring cold against her fingers. She looked at him, tried to lose herself in him the way she always had. He looked the same as that first day outside of Frazier, with a healthy amount of scruff. His hair was a bit shorter than it was then - Lisa always gave him a good haircut when he was in town. But his smile was still the same, and his eyes just as warm when he looked back into hers. 
“Breathe baby. I’m right here, we’re gonna be there before you know it. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She willed herself to believe him and put a headphone in her ear, started her playlist and closed her eyes as the plane moved towards the runway and her daughter slept. 
Things were slightly better once they got into the air. It didn’t surprise her that Grayson fell asleep within the first hour. She could tell he was fighting his eyelids as he tried to stay awake in case she needed him, but the warmth and weight of Beks was enough to lull him off. The way she knew for sure was when his thumb stopped rubbing against the back of her hand. Indy didn’t mind - if he wasn’t awake he wasn’t worrying about her at least She took the time to look at them - really look at them for a while. Bekah was so active, always exploring and getting into things. It made moments like these rare, especially as she got older. She’d never understood what her mom had meant, when she said her heart had grown two sizes to accommodate her and Charlie. 
In all those months after they got back together, she had thought it was impossible to love someone as much, or more, than she loved Grayson. She proved herself wrong after he became her husband, and again when they found out they were having a baby, a girl. Her love for him grew even more while she was pregnant. And then Bekah Nicole Dolan had entered the picture, and their lives had never been the same. It felt like just yesterday that she was watching Grayson cry in the hospital room, holding his baby girl for the first time. Since then there were two birthday parties, almost three years of watching her grow into herself, watching her learn, watching her develop her own little personality. She was Indy’s new favorite thing to study, and she kept herself busy for most of the flight looking through old pictures on her phone. It calmed her more than she thought it would, and kept her occupied until Beks woke up from her nap. 
It was a nice distraction for her to focus on keeping her daughter entertained and happy once she maneuvered her out of Grayson’s lap. They colored after Indy fished the coloring book and crayons out from her bag, and they looked at pictures, and watched out the window, Bekah asking “what dat?” over and over again at all the things she could see on the ground. 
The flight attendants message to prepare for landing was what finally woke Grayson up from his slumber, and his bleary eyes were immediately guilty. 
“You should have woken me up,” he pouted, already looking her over for any sign of her anxious habits. 
“We’re okay. I got a handle on it. Glad you’re awake for landing though,” she reassured him, reaching a hand out for his again. He happily took it, and smiled when Bekah leaned over to put her hand on top of theirs, always wanting to be involved. The landing was smooth, and Indy took her first truly relaxed breath in hours once the plane stopped moving at the gate. Bekah felt it, felt her chest rise and fall so dramatically that she turned and smiled up at her.
“Breathe mama,” she said, just like her dad always did. “Big breaf.” Her ‘th’ sounds were still f’s, and Indy selfishly hoped they stayed that way for a while longer. She over exaggerated her next breath so Beks could feel it. It satisfied her enough it seemed, and she held Grayson’s hand as they walked off the plane and into the airport. Grayson’s back hurt by the time they made it to baggage claim from the way he was crouched over to keep his hand in hers, but she was determined to do it herself and keep him close. 
All that went out the window when she saw who was waiting for her by the baggage carousel. 
“UNCLE ETEE!” 
Ethan smiled his widest smile and crouched down with his arms open, ready to catch her as she ran as fast as her little legs would take her. He caught her and tossed her up in the air just to hear her giggle. 
“Hi bug! How was Jersey?”
“Good! I saw Grandma Lisa and daddy showed me a waterfall and we stayed in the other house and momma made pancakes. Where’s Miles?” Her attention jumped around like a pinball in the machine, but she looked down to Ethan’s left side where there was usually a very cute five year old.
“He’s home taking care of Aunt Eden, making sure little Maisie isn’t giving her too much trouble.”
“Is she still in her belly?”
“Yeah bug, for a little while longer. But, she missed you so much that she wants everybody to come out to the beach for a little while before it gets dark. And if mommy and daddy are too tired, you can just come with us.”
Indiana wanted to cry. She knew what her brother was doing - giving her an out in case the flight had gone badly, a chance to recuperate if need be. Truth be told, she was still nauseous, but her nerves had settled and the thought of seeing Eden and her nephew were too good to pass up. She’d missed them despite only being gone for a few days. 
“We’ll all go, just gotta get changed at the house first,” Indy said, and she felt Grayson perk up beside her, somewhat surprised by her answer. 
“Alrighty then, let’s roll.” Ethan led the way with Beks on his hip, Grayson managing most of the bags on the way out to the car. Things had gotten better since they’d traveled with Beks as an infant - less equipment required for a toddler, especially one who was easily entertained by her parents. 
Before they knew it Beks was in her car seat, thrilled that her dad climbed into the backseat to ‘hang out’ with her while he gave his wife shotgun. Ethan played Cudi, the clean versions, and everyone in the car sang along, even if Bekah was mostly just humming and kicking her feet. 
It took about 30 minutes to get to the main gate of the houses. Indy could still remember the first time she’d been in a car pulling up to the same spot. Things were a bit different now - they’d bought out their neighbors house when it went up for sale, tore down the fences and made it all one big backyard with each of the couples in their own space. E squared kept the original house - it’s where they’d raised Miles after all. Indy had enjoyed getting to make the new house her own. It wasn’t lost on her that it was the bigger of the two, with Grayson’s dream of a big family always at the back of his mind. 
It was on Indy’s too, especially when she saw Eden waiting on the porch of their house, her bump on full display, framed out by her bikini and cover up. Maisie Rae Dolan was due in two months, and the whole crew was counting down the days until her arrival, none more so than her mother. 
Miles came around the corner at full speed once the car stopped, running around the car to find the only one he ever looked for. Grayson couldn’t get her out of her carseat fast enough, but as soon as Beks was on the ground Miles was hugging her.
“Hi best friend!” Bekah said as soon as her face wasn’t buried in his shirt.
“Hi! I missed you! Daddy helped me make a countdown and I counted all the days until you came back and now you’re here! Do you wanna see it?!”
“Yeah!”
Grayson had to catch the two of them before they went barrelling towards the house.
“Hold on guys, if we wanna make it to the beach early enough to get into the water we all need to get changed and packed up. We’ll see you there Mi, okay?”
Miles nodded once, then immediately turned to Ethan.
“Dad, can I ride with Uncle Grayson and Aunt Indy?”
“They just got back babe, gotta give them a minute to settle in. But, if mom’s up for it we can go early and look for some shells, okay?”
He threw a wink to Grayson as he unloaded the bags. Meanwhile, Indy was on the porch, catching up with Eden. 
“Any changes? Contractions or anything?”
“Other than her kicking my spleen every five minutes and sitting on my bladder like a throne, we’re golden.”
She didn’t look golden. In fact, she looked exhausted. 
“Miles wearing you out?”
All she had to do was look at her and Indy was laughing.
“Whenever you need us to take him, just send him over.”
“You act as if you too do not have a child that wears you out.”
The pair looked over at their husbands, and their kids. Miles was attempting to climb the tree in the front yard, which was his new found mission he’d been working on. Ethan stood guard below, shifting back and forth to catch his son in case he lost his balance trying to maneuver the first main branch.
Meanwhile, Beks was picking flowers one by one and holding them in her fist. Indy watched as she carried her mini bouquet over to Grayson and held it out proudly. They watched as she stuck her tongue out in concentration while she tucked one behind her dad’s ear.
“Yeah… so whenever you need us to take him, just send him over,” Indy repeated with a laugh that Eden quickly joined in on, holding her bump with her hands. 
“Go get settled, if Beks gets ancy we can load her up with us.”
“She should be fine, we hate unpacking night of anyways. We’ll see you in a little while.”
She was halfway across the lawn before Eden called after her.
“Oh! Before I forget, I had some extra stuff lying around that definitely won’t fit for a while, or ever, after this one -” she pointed to her stomach. “I left them and some other stuff for you in your closet. Anything you don’t want just bring it back and I’ll throw it in the donation pile.”
Indy threw her a thumbs up and rounded up Beks, headed back to their house. She could breathe easier as soon as she was inside the familiar walls. Their house was modern, but every space was warmed by something personal, most of which was made by Grayson. With the transition away from social media and into behind the scenes production, he had more time to build and perfect his craft. Family touches were everywhere as well, from the picture frame on the coffee table from last christmas to the booster seat in the kitchen table chair where they all sat to eat dinner every night. Indy’s work badge was still on the counter, with the nemo sticker that covered her last name so no one could look her up and realize just who she was married to. But below it you could still read the name of the pediatric hospital she called home.
All those thoughts were fleeting though, considering Beks was on a mission to get to the beach. 
“I’ll get her ready if you pack the beach bag?” Grayson offered. Indy smiled and nodded, heading back into the bedroom to get changed herself. When she got to her closet, she found the pile of things from Eden - some of her tighter dresses, jean shorts, bikinis, a few bottles of perfume with a note scribbled, smell makes me sick now. Fml. Beside that was a box with a note; pregnancy tests, won’t be needing these anytime soon… hopefully lmao.  
Indy rolled her eyes and laughed to herself, putting everything away in its right spot and pulling out a nice bikini from the stack to throw on. She grabbed one of Grayson’s long sleeve shirts to put on over it before she headed back out. The bag was mostly prepped already with the essentials - the beach was a common Dolan outing after all. All she had to add was towels and a sandwich for Beks in case she got hungry. 
Food was the last thing on Bekah’s mind it seemed when she came down the hall, already asking if it was time to go. Indy wasn’t one to brag, but her daughter had to be up there with the cutest babies of all time, especially in her custom 2T sized spread positivity hoodie over her bathing suit and tiny chaco sandals. Her hair was still in the tiny space buns that Indy had put them in earlier, only adding to the way she was making her melt. 
Indy loaded up the car while Grayson threw on a speedo and regular shorts to cover up with, not bothering with a shirt. Indy preferred it that way - she enjoyed the view, which she had plenty of time to admire from the passenger seat once they were on the road. Grayson held her hand, looking like a Raybans model in his sunglasses, tattoos on full display as he drove. Her favorite was still the forever scribbled out across his ribs, especially with the script right below it. Bekah Nicole. His daughter's name. 
It still amazed Indy how lucky she was, to have the life that she did, to have found the love that she had. It took her breath away at times, made her stomach feel like it was floating when she remembered that the man beside her was hers, forever. She turned around the check on Beks, who was telling a story that made no sense, although Grayson was acting like he understood every single word. Their perfect little girl. Even then, she would still tear up if she looked at her for too long. 
The secret beach, somehow, still seemed to be their little secret. There were a few couples, but it was mostly empty apart from the other Dolan family that had beat them there. Grayson followed close behind Bekah as she ran through the sand towards Miles. 
“Now remember, you have to flip them over and if you even think there might be a hermit grab in there, you put it back because that's his home,” Ethan was informing his son when they reached the group. Eden was already lounged out in a chair, feet buried in the sand and hand absentmindedly rubbing over her bump. She peeked an eye open when she heard Indy start setting up beside her, looking to check on her son before she relaxed back down. 
“Momma? You take me in the waves? Pleaseeeee,” Bekah asked before Indy could sit. 
“Sure babe,” she smiled, pulling her shirt off quickly before scooping up her daughter and heading towards the water. Grayson wasn’t far behind them, ever the protector, wanting to be close by in case they needed anything. 
The water was chilly against Indy’s toes when she got into the break, and she bent down to let Beks stand in the frothy tide. As soon as the water got her feet she squealed, spinning around and reaching up.
“S’cold momma!” 
Indy laughed and picked her back up, unsurprised to see Miles and Ethan headed down the beach towards them, undoubtedly with the same idea. She was glad Eden was getting some much needed rest time, so she grinned and bared the cold water on her stomach as she got deeper in, jumping dramatically as the waves came through just to get a giggle out of her daughter. Grayson joined in on the fun, taking his turn to toss Beks up into the air and catch her with a splash and kisses all over her cheeks. They kept playing until the dad’s arms were sore, seeing that Miles wanted in on the fun, and the sun was beginning to set. Beks was cold by the time they made it back to the chairs, and Grayson immediately wrapped her up in a towel and snuggled her up against him, resting his cheek on the top of her head as she curled into his chest. 
Indy put her own towel over her shoulders, and the warmth of it was almost enough to have her lulling off to sleep. She fought it off, catching up with Ethan while Eden got Miles ready to go. The kids were wiped, and with a day of travel under her belt Beks was asleep on her dad’s shoulder before they even made it to the tesla.
“Watch this,” he whispered, showing off his skills of placing her in her seat without waking her up. It was impressive, truly, but even more so was the fact that he drove carefully enough through all the traffic on the way that she was still dreaming peacefully when they got home. 
“We have to wake her up to get her changed,” he pouted, not wanting to disturb her after the day she’d had. 
“I got it. You start on dinner, I’m fucking starving.” 
“Deal,” he grinned, leaning across the console to kiss her quickly before getting out. Indy exited the passenger side, opening up Beks door and talking to her quietly until her eyes opened, blinking wide and confused.
“You’re okay babe, we’re home.”
Indy soaked up the cuddles from her groggy daughter on the way into the house. She didn’t bother with anything else - they’d do a bath first thing in the morning. Instead, she moved to the ocean nursery, changing Beks quickly into a fresh diaper and pj’s before laying her down in her bed underneath the jellyfish Eden had helped design for the wall. She kissed her forehead and rubbed her back until she lulled back down, exhausted from the excitement of the day. 
Indy felt salty, her skin tight from the water, but she didn’t have the energy to shower. Instead, she headed into her room and grabbed another one of Grayson’s shirts along with some running shorts, taking them into the bathroom with her to get changed. 
The cabinet was still slightly open, and she reached down to close it when she saw it. A box of tampons - unopened. It took a minute for her to do the math, and she wasn’t 100% on if she was late or not, but that familiar knot tied in her stomach when she was unsure. Quietly, she locked the door and rummaged around for the pregnancy tests she’d just hidden away.
In the kitchen, Grayson was humming to himself as he strained the noodles for the mac and cheese - two boxes in fact, considering how hungry Indy said she was. The fridge was low considering they’d just gotten back, but he managed to scrounge up some fresh-enough fruit to cut up and put on a plate on the counter. 
Indy came back into the kitchen so quietly that he barely noticed as he was stirring in the vegan cheese.
“Jeez Dee, you scared me,” he teased, pulling her in for a hug. “How yah feeling?”
“Exhausted,” she mumbled, relaxing in his hold and melting into his chest. He loved when she did that, let him hold her after a long day. He didn’t pull away until she did, the smell of mac and cheese luring her away. 
Grayson took her hips with his hands and helped boost her up onto the counter, passing her the bowl he’d made for her. They ate quickly and quietly, the idea of curling up in bed more and more appealing as the carbs started to settle into their systems. When they’d cleared their bowls Indy moved to the sink, only for Grayson to shake his head.
“I got it. Go get in bed, you had a hell of a day.”
She sighed, kissing his bare shoulder once before getting up on her tiptoes to ask for a real one. He obliged her, bending down to catch her lips with his. “Love you,” she murmured, running her fingers over his back as she walked towards their room. She peaked in on Beks to make sure she was still out before she headed back to the bedroom, pulling out the test that she’d tucked away in her waistband. 
She blinked three times, hard.
Two lines. Two very dark lines. 
“Holy shit.” 
Emotions raced through her so fast she couldn’t catch a single one to give it a name. She barely had it together enough to hide it behind her back when Grayson walked in a few minutes later seemingly unfazed.
“I’m gonna shower real quick, you wanna join?” He offered, looking down into his dresser drawers for a pair of boxers.
“Uh, yeah, yeah I’ll join but can you do me a favor really quick?”
“Hmm,” he asked, turning towards her.
She held out the test in her shaky hand.
“Can you add this to the shelf?”
The shelf itself was on the wall beside him. All the old pictures had made their way over to the new house with some new additions, including the positive test that had told them they were having Beks, her ultrasound, her first birthday party. 
It took Grayson a moment to process, and then his hands were shaking too as he took the small stick and looked at it through his blurry eyes.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“For real?”
“For real.”
“We’re having another baby.”
“Yep.”
“Another Beks.”
“Yep.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yep.”
“Holy fuck!” The excitement finally broke through the shock, and before she could move Grayson’s arms were around his wife, spinning her around as he buried his face in her neck.
“You’re pregnant. We’re having another baby.”
“It doesn’t feel real yet. I just took the test before dinner.” Indy’s eyes were watery, her hand automatically going over her stomach.
“It will. It’ll fly by, just like with Beks. Holy fuck, I’m so excited. I love you so much.”
“I love you more,” she whispered, pulling him to her again for another hug.
“Not possible,” he said, shaking his head and kissing her shoulder. 
“Well, I love you forever then. I love our family, forever.”
Grayson couldn’t find the words. Instead, he just kissed her, forever grateful for every moment that had led him to right there, his whole world and future under one roof - everything he’d dreamed of within his hands.
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