#I’m just sick of seeing it like can’t we just live and let ourselves be loved

[lunajay33]

New World🍂Part.9

Summary: You grew up in a crappy town with one friend who kept you going, everything started to fall into place, that’s until the world ended and the dead ruled the world, now you and your best friend Daryl Dixon had to stay alive but will you finally confess?

Part.8

•Masterlist•

We’ve been at the prison now for a week, a lot of things have changed, prisoners were found but with that we found a lot of food in the prison kitchen, Hershel got bit and lost his lower leg, but thankfully Hershel was getting better, only two prisoners were left and things were seeming to finally settle

Plus I was doing a lot better with the food supply I wasn’t as ghostly looking and I was able to help out cleaning up the outside court yard just to make the place feel a bit more comfortable

I walked outside seeing Rick and Daryl talking by the truck, I wasn’t able to see him when I woke up because he was always up early to work with Rick

“Hi my love” I said laying my hand on him shoulder as he turned to greet me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side kissing the top of my head

“What’re ya doin up so early?”

“I was cold without you” I said nuzzling closer into him loving his warmth

This made Rick laugh totally forgettting he was there making me blush

The day went in as usual, cleaning up, securing the place, I heard the door open and saw Hershel hobbling out with the help of Carl, Lori and Beth

“Hey Hershel look at you go!” I said as Maggie, Tdog and Carol jogged up just as excited

“WALKERS!” Carl yelled as he noticed a group of walkers behind us

All hell broke loose after that, Lori, Carl, Maggie and I ran off securing ourselves inside, but when we went to go to the beds there were more walkers we managed to find a secure place in the boiler room trying to hid from the walkers that were still roaming the halls

“Carl are you okay?” I asked checking him over he looked shaken

“I’m….im okay” he said as he hugged me, he was still young and he barely ever got comfort so I let him hug me he was the sweetest boy he didn’t deserve to live in a world like this

We went down the stairs were Lori was with Maggie and she looked panicked that’s when she started screaming

“The baby is coming” she said as she held onto the chains hanging from the wall, Carl held onto me tighter hiding his face in my side so I rubbed his back as Lori continued to scream trying to push

“Lori stop somethings wrong” Maggie said as he hand was covered in blood

Lori layed down as we all followed her Carl at one side as I was at the other

“Maggie you gotta cut me open”

“No I can’t”

“You have to save my baby….please” but Maggie still refused

“I’ll do it, I’ll save em” I said squeezing Maggie’s hand as we traded places

“See my scar that’s what I got from my previous c-section” I tried to calm my breathing realizing what I was about to do, how this would change the three of us

Carl handed me his knife as Lori said her last words to him, we were all crying now my heart was heavy and I felt sick

“Okay……I’m ready” Lori sucked in a breath before I steadied my hands as best as I could before I sliced into her, her scream so painful that will forever me seared into my mind

She passed out and I was trying to be quick as I saw the babies feet and dropped my knife to the ground as I gently pulled the baby out, she wasn’t moving

“What do I do?” I asked Maggie nervous

“Turn her over, pat her back and feet” there was blood everywhere but I had to focus, I repeatedly hit her back but not too hard to hurt her and finally she started crying, relief washing over me

Carl passed me him jacket so I could cover her holding her against my chest

“We need to go” Maggie said standing up

“We can’t leave her to turn” Carl said as tears were falling down his face

Using a free hand I lead Carl to the closed door we came in from so Maggie could put Lori out of her misery I refused to let Carl do that

I held his one ear against my stomach and covered his other with my hand, Maggie’s gun went off and she came up with a pale face, Carl clung to me as we left to find the others, the little baby warm against my chest, the scream still playing in my head, the blood drying to my hands and chest, I needed Daryl

We came out the courtyard seeing all the walkers were dead and the remaining members of the group were there, when Maggie saw Glen she ran to him crying, Rick was in shock

“Where…..where is she?” He asked looking at me and Carl with red eyes

“I’m sorry Rick” I said as my lips trembled

Rick dropped to the ground crying, I couldn’t imagine the grief he must be feeling but now this baby and Carl didn’t have a mother and their father wasn’t mentally well enough to take care of them……but I will, I’ll try my best for them

I felt a hand cup my cheeks, looking up seeing Daryl with sad eyes

“Oh sunshine” he pulled me into a hug Carl between us as he still hadn’t let me go

I kneeled down after Daryl pulled away, showing Carl his baby sister properly

“She’s beautiful isn’t she? As cute as a button” I said looking up at Carl seeing his tears were stopping as he gazed upon her

I heard Daryl saying he was gonna go with Maggie to find this baby girl some food but before he left he kissed my cheek whispering words of love and they were off on his bike

Carl sat down next to me as he leaned his head against my arm as we both look at this ray of sunshine, a miracle in such a dark world

“What are you thinking of naming her sweetie?” I asked as Carl booped her nose

“I don’t know yet”

“That’s alright there’s plenty of time”

Beth came over with a soft rag and water so we could clean her off and dress her I fresh baby clothes we found on the road

“Thank you y/n, for all this” Carl said I could hear the sadness in his voice

“Of course I’ll do anything for you both…..always”

Daryl got back later with Maggie as she made the formula, he kneeled infront of me brushing his thumb over the baby’s cheek

“She’s beautiful” he said smiling up at me

He took her and fed her the bottle swaying her side to side admiring her, he had the look of care that he only ever gave me it was the most cutest thing I’ve ever seen, this makes me wanna have a baby with Daryl even more I just know he’d be an amazing father

“She’s a lil asskicker” he said making everyone chuckle, Rick was no where to be seen so I decided to take care of her for the night, Daryl and I were sat on our make shift bed with me back against his chest with lil asskicker curled against my chest babbling little cries

“I want one” I said feeling Daryl’s heart beat faster against my back

“We can’t”

“I know” I said sadly feeling a heavy weight on my heart, knowing what we could have had if walkers never existed

“I would tho ya know, if things were different I’d have a family with ya” I laid my head against his chest nuzzling closer to his neck loving his smell

“I love you D”

“I love ya too”

I was sat in little book corner ledge up against my front window watching as the trees leaves swayed in the wind, hearing the little birds chirp and that wonderful feeling of the lowering sun warming my skin as the sky turned shades of orange and purple

After a long day of working with students and cooking Daryl’s favorite meal I was waiting to hear the comforting rumble of his bike and she him jog up my sidewalk to the front door and if right on time there he was, covered in black grease stains but still as handsome as ever

He walked in dropping his work bag and coming over scooping me up and spinning me around making me giggle, I felt so much love in my heart, so absolutely lucky to have found him, he trailed kisses up and down my neck then all over my face

“How was work D?” I asked leading him to the bathroom to clean him up

“Eh, worked on some bikes, nothin excitin” he said as he leaned against the sink as I ran a cool wet cloth over his dirty skin u til he was good enough for dinner

I threw the cloth into the laundry basket and wrapped my arms back around his shoulders

“I missed you so much” I said leaning up to kiss him gently feeling his scruff against my face

“Missed ya too, ‘specially when I know I got a woman like ya at home in my shirt with yer little pink panties” he said squeezing my hips

“Oh stop dinner first, plus Juniper is in the next room sleeping” I said laughing as he fake disappointed sigh

I got Juniper out of her crib as she was already up clinging to the railing bouncing probably having heard her fathers voice, we walked back out to the kitchen sitting at the little table as we started dishing up the food, I could tell he was starving when he chowed down, I feed Juni some mashed up vegetables as she giggled being just like Daryl loving food

After dinner we cleaned up and sat in the little living room on the floor playing with Juni, Daryl tickled her feet making her scream in joy as she tried to climb all over him

“I love this, I love you, Juniper, our life’s together, this little old house, I love everything you’ve given me D”

“You know it’s not real though” he said looking at me with the saddest eyes

“What? What do you mean?” Everything started to get blurry

“We never got to have this life, it was cut short before we even got the chance sunshine, I’m sorry” his voice was like bricks on my heart as his voice started to sound farther away and I could barely see either Daryl or Juniper

I shot up immediately from sleep, sweat covering my body as I tried to catch my breath, remembering I still had the baby in my arms as she squirmed from my sudden movement

“Hey ya okay?” I heard Daryl ask from behind me rubbing my back as I was still between his legs

I shock my head remembering the dream, what I could have had, a beautiful little girl with dark hair and light blue eyes like Daryl, beautiful house and to not be scared every waking moment and hungry

The tears came fast and I couldn’t calm myself whimpering loudly feeling the extreme pressure from the day and the dream

“What is it sunshine” he asked holding me back to his chest

“It was a nightmare, just an awful nightmare”

My soul felt hollow, my heart crushed, my hopes dead in the dirt, I wanted so much in life atleast I still had Daryl the only light I had left

Guys I put my soul into this chapter please like or repost!!:)

Part.10<-

Taglist:

@deansapplepie @ghostboneswrites2 @writer-ann-artist @i-wear-wet-socks313 @thebadbatch2022

#twd fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine #twd daryl #daryl dixon #twd x reader #twd fluff #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon smut #daryl x you #daryl x reader #daryl imagines #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon fluff #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixion x reader #daryl x female reader #daryl dixon series #Spotify

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 6

you saw me as someone worth saving.

i didn’t want what happened to change the way you saw me.

we’re gonna get through this. we kind of have to.

sometimes our mistakes follow us.

in fact, i did not start out a bad person.

glory’s fine. revenge is more fun.

as usual, i make the wrong decision.

i was scared. i’m just tired of being scared. 

all that rage is bad for your complexion. 

you are so sweet and naive and dumb.

curious. how many more rock bottoms are you going to have to hit before you start taking care of yourself?

i used to think a lot of shit matters.

talking makes things real. and real things end.

i wanted to be a part of your world. but i didn’t know your world was like this. 

i’m so sick of people telling me who i am.

the guilt of it all. what are we supposed to do with that? 

i don’t want to be afraid anymore.

it’s like i always used to need someone else to make me feel whole. 

you didn’t let me down.

you’re this fiery, passionate person.

we’re working to stop the monsters and to stop people from turning into monsters.

it’s important to have an exit plan that’s more than just an exit.

maybe it’s not so bad when you’re the one holding the knife.

at least i know who i am.

i’m nobody’s guiding light.

i don't belong to anybody.

i was alone. surrounded by people, but still alone.

rise and shine, we’re in hell. 

this is the worst it’s been. that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

you’re going dark on me again.

if you’re bullshitting me, i don’t care.

i never wanted to be the bad guy.

why did anyone ever do shit for me when all i ever did was let them down?

look at you, always standing in my fucking way.

your memory is like… lethally selective.

what if we end up making each other freaking miserable?

what if i hurt you? i’ve hurt people before. very badly.

for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you.

you’re the future, kid. never forget that. 

i guess i just want it to make some kind of sense.

however this plays out, i’m seeing it through with you.

you’ve done a lot, no question. but there is always more.

you believed in me when i didn’t.

this may shock you, but not everyone here likes you.

this place makes you face your demons or something, and turns out, your demons are really fucking ugly.

maybe in the end it’ll be me and you trying together. 

maybe it makes me selfish. i don’t think it makes me wrong.

there’s a whole world out there for you. go. fight for it. be brave.

i'm talking the greater good. doesn't always have to be what's best for everybody.

it doesn’t matter how shitty they are. it still fucks you up when they’re gone.

sometimes, someone comes into your life at just the right moment, you know?

stop being mad at me for wanting a different future.

you’re not like the others. but you know that, don’t you?

this isn’t pressure. it’s winning. 

i want a life where we can just… be. 

the worst has already fucking happened. i don’t think i’ve got it in me to be that scared about something that could be good.

we can’t save anyone until we save ourselves.

if you’re with me, i need you to say it.

what gives you the right to choose who lives and who dies?

i don’t know how this is going to end or what happens to me, but for whatever it’s worth, i am with you. 

why am i always doing bad things in your dreams?

you don’t trust anybody else to take care of things.

enough people have died. 

tell me you didn’t kill anyone. if you say it, i’ll believe you.

thank you for believing in me. 

i don’t wanna die.

i was just following your lead the whole time. we all were.

i’m not a hero. i’m just helping a friend.

i don’t think this is goodbye. 

you need someone to help get you there, and you have to get there.

i’m sorry you met me, but i’m glad i got to know you. i’ll never forget you.

can’t i just blame everything on my mother and be done with it?

the whole world’s haunted.

i did monstrous things. 

you’re happy. which you’re allowed to be, in case you didn’t know.

just because someone saved your life doesn’t mean you have to live the rest of it for them.

it is not up to you to carry everyone else.

put your trust in other people. in me.

sometimes, helping hurts like hell.

i just wish sometimes i had a map to figure you out.

it’s a crazy world out here, full of people who sometimes disappoint us, but it’s damn beautiful.

i’m sorry. small words for something so big.

what do you live for? living takes effort now, it takes everything. those still alive have their reasons.

the world is nothing without hope.

think about what you want. what you truly want.

the bad things we do must be done. we carry that burden so the others don’t have to.

i’m gonna screw with your life just like the way you did with mine.

this place, it’s safe. it’s good for everybody.

we take what we got, and we make it work.

they changed the game, so we change how we play.

oh my god, you killed him.

#* #sentence prompts #ask memes #rp ask meme #rp sentence prompts #one liner starters #ask meme #meme

[stayandot8]

Thaw

Genre: comfort-fluff? Was angsty then...not?

Relationship type: exes

Important Contents: Soooo Defrost Part 2. Enjoy.

WC: 2.3k

Part 1 l masterlist

“Hi, Chris.” 

I didn’t fight my smile this time. Hearing his voice was the oxygen I needed to continue breathing. Like resurfacing when you’ve been underwater for too long. 

There was a pause on the other end. I brought my phone back to make sure the line hadn’t been disconnected, but it wasn’t. His contact name was still there, the little timer counting up. I brought the phone back to my ear. “Chris?”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, almost whispering. “I’ve never been so relieved to hear my own name.” I closed my eyes, letting his voice wash over me. I was rejoicing in hearing no anger in his tone, wave after wave of relief crashing over me. Shaky breaths were all I had left in me.

“Honestly, I’ve never been so happy to say it. Even when we first started dating, I took for granted how much I loved saying it. I guess you never realize how much you love something until it’s…”

“Gone.” He finished for me. “I’ve thought about this moment a lot, you know. I’ve thought of everything I would want to say to you, all the emotions I want to express, the feelings I need you to hear. But now that you’re… talking to me, saying my name… I can’t think of any of them.”

“I know. It’s been a while. I can’t even bring myself to ask how you are because I’m scared.”

“A mess. I’ve been a mess. But I really don’t want to do this over the phone. Can we please talk? In person? I have so much to say and I want to make sure I write it all down now that I actually have a chance to say them.”

“Then why don’t we do that? We write everything down and trade. That way we don’t have to embarrass ourselves by saying them out loud.”

I knew I’d never be able to say everything I needed to face to face. My best bet was to write, knowing the time would let me think of everything I could possibly think of. The thought constricted my chest, but brought peace at the same time. Knowing that at the end of it we would have the chance of coming back together, of being better than we were, would make it all worth it. Knowing we could get through this patch and come out the other side, that he was not only willing to hear me out but wanted this as much as I did… 

“Okay. Let's do that then.”

“Okay.”

Just one word. One word was all it took to get me smiling again. To make me feel weightless and buoyant. If I listened closely enough, the wind outside was singing to me. Like even it was rejoicing in this. Even though these past few months felt like hell coursing through my veins, this part of the journey felt necessary. To come back stronger, hell must be journeyed through. Like Orpheus and Eurydice, hell had been ventured through but unlike those two fated lovers, we would see the sun of dawn. 

“When can I see you?” His anticipation was killing my resolve to take our reconciliation slowly, to make sure all the knots got untangled. The tingle in my toes was causing my legs to shake from restlessness. 

“I don’t know. I have to go to my parent's house for their-”

“Spring cleaning thing, right. That’s okay. I’ll wait.” His downtrodden voice had switched to a hopeful and I could see his face in my mind’s eye, eyes twinkling when he became optimistic. “As long as it takes.” He whispered. 

“I’ll call you when I land?”

“Or before? If you want…”

That hope again…

“I’ll call you when I pack later tonight.” A content hum from the other side of the line.. 

This is going to work this time.

*

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad. Your sister is older now! She can’t still be teasing you like that.” I was curled up in my childhood home, on the living room on the couch I would sleep on when I was sick so my mom could take care of me. It held so many memories, so much time was spent on the fibers of thread that had started to fringe. These threads I was picking at were the only thing I had the mental capability to do while on the phone, trying my best to keep as quiet as possible while the rest of the house slept. 

“It’s true! You should’ve seen her at Christmas, she was on a roll.” There it was again. That familiar pang of guilt at any mention of the time spent apart. Felt deep in my gut, a horrible, tangible reminder that it was never supposed to be. 

“I wish I could’ve been there.” I let my voice trail off, hoping my thoughts were readable to him. To anyone else, they wouldn’t be but I was forgetting how well the boy on the other side knew me. 

“Hey. Don’t do that. We both know how it would’ve been. And maybe if we hadn’t spent that time apart, we never would’ve come back like this. Ready to hear each other out and not jump to any conclusions. Right?” I let his words marinate, my own thoughts earlier that day exactly matching what he’d said aloud. “Right?” He said a little softer, as if questioning himself now. I realized I hadn’t said anything yet. 

“One more week, right? I can do that. We can do that.” It was his turn to laugh.

“We can do this. Enjoy the time with your family while you still can. Because when I see you again, I’m never letting you leave ever again.”

*

“You’re coming home today, right?”

“Yep. My flight lands at seven tonight.”

“Is… anyone… picking you… up?” Gentle, trying his best to sound nonchalant. It wasn’t working, but I wasn’t going to fight it. Two weeks of phone calls every night and texting all day only made me miss him more than I would ever admit out loud. 

“Not yet, I was thinking about texting Felix or-”

“That’s not funny.” He couldn’t see it, but my mischievous smile was back as I snickered. I hadn’t felt this giddy about seeing a boy since we first got together. The funny thing was it was the same boy. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder. 

“It’s kinda funny. Why, do you have a better idea?” 

“Please let me pick you up.” He didn’t know, or at least I hope he didn’t know, how fast my legs were going, kicking my feet in the air from excitement. I was beaming before I had to remember that he could hear everything. I drew a sarcastic sigh. 

  “Fine.” I knew he was smiling. I knew him better than I knew myself. 

*

One three-hour delay I had withstanded but the baggage claim was going to be the death of me. 

I didn’t let him come inside the airport so I could freshen up from the hours of plane ick on me before seeing him for the first time in forever. Okay, not forever, but it sure felt like it.

I tapped my foot and folded my arms, waiting so impatiently. Until I spotted it. My red suitcase came down on the belt and I ran for it. 

Chan: Outside :) 

I drew a breath and walked as quickly as my sneaker-clad feet would carry me to those sliding glass doors. They slid open and the cool air from outside contrasted to the heat radiating from the airport, but I barely noticed. There were cars lined up along the curb, each with different headlights casting shadows around them, blinding anyone who would look directly at them. I blinked a couple times, adjusting to the new darkness. And that’s when I saw him. 

He was in blue, forgoing his usual black t-shirt and athletic shorts. No, he traded them in for some longer jeans and a button up shirt. His hair was styled, like he had just come from a shoot of some sort and his makeup was still intact. He was leaning on the side of the car, staring at his black boots. It was like no time had passed. The butterflies came roaring in, not just in my stomach but everywhere. My brain had no thoughts, just the image of him, waiting for me. I was trying to burn it into my eyelids. I was afraid that if I blinked, he would be gone. 

He spotted me and his nervous shuffling stopped and a wide closed-lipped grin spread. We just stood there, looking at each other, taking each other in. My feet were cemented to the ground. He took a step near me and then another. Closer and closer until he was close enough to touch, to feel, to breathe in. I looked him from boot to eye and I had about .2 seconds before my emotions took over my body and I fell into him. 

He was warm and comforting and smelled divine. I was in his arms again and all was right with the world. It wasn’t perfect, but it was mine. I could breathe again, oxygen returning to my lungs and turning into shaky breaths. I was home. He just let me cry into his shoulder and tucked his head against mine. He rubbed my back as he held me, light touches but comforting. 

When the tears subsided into even breaths, I pulled back only slightly, not wanting to break free of him quite yet. 

“Did you grow?” He asked as he laughed as he wiped my face, healing the broken pieces I had created and held onto for months. I shook my head and gave him the best chuckle I could muster. Two dark spots were left behind from the places I had cried. 

“I’m so sorry, Chris.” 

“It’s okay, it’ll dry. Or if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. I’ll have you on my shoulder all night long.” His smile could cure anything, I was sure of it. It dropped from his face for a second. “Unless you want to go home? I can drop you off too-” I shook my head before he could finish the sentence and dove back into his shoulder, just wanting to be near him. I felt his chest rumbling as he chuckled again. “Have you eaten?” It was difficult, but I shook my head without leaving his shoulder. His grip on me tightened. “Let’s fix that, shall we?”

*

“I can’t believe you remember this place. You took me here when you won your first award, didn’t you? You said-”

“Right! That’s right, I did bring you here. I wanted to get away from the kids after they got drunk for our first win.”

“And you didn’t want to drink so you called me instead. And we came here.” 

“Yes we did.” He sat back in his chair, his half-empty water glass the only thing in front of him as we waited for our food. 

“Didn’t you choke on your kimchi?” A slow grin grew on my face as I relived the memory.

“Because you made me laugh! I could’ve died. Stop laughing, it’s not funny!”

“Contradictory for you to say because you’re laughing too! Must have been so traumatic for you if you’re laughing about it now.” His expression matched mine, like the twins we were. Meant to be. 

“Laughing through the pain.” I ‘hmm’d at that and our server rolled her cart over with our food, setting it down in front of each of us before I could say what I was thinking. The small bowl of kimchi stew boiled in front of me, the perfect thing on a cool spring night like this one. Chris had gotten a boiling bowl of ramyeon with all his toppings. Soup was definitely the way to go.

I arranged my bowls of sides and rice the way I wanted and picked up my spoon to dip in when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a couple sitting across from each other, one slouching into the corner facing away from me and the other peering over his sunglasses at me. When I caught his eye, he quickly pushed them back up and sipped from his cup and looked around him. I thought nothing of it until I realized the glasses he was wearing looked too familiar, and at second glance, the one facing away from me was wearing his Versace hat backwards. They were trying a little too hard to look casual, purposefully not glancing my way again. I had to chuckle.

“Chris, why are Hyunjin and Han sitting at a table directly in my eyesight?” His shocked expression and sudden turn relayed that he truly had no idea they were there. My mouth was starting to hurt from holding back laughter. Chris faced me again and buried his face in his hands. A small groan slipped past his lips. He moved his hands so he could speak clearly.

“I’m going to kill them. I’m actually going to kill them.” He made no move to get up though. I tilted my head so I was staring at them until they noticed, which didn’t take long. Han slowly took his sunglasses off and grimaced. I raised my eyebrow until Hyunjin turned to face me too, taking off his hat and glasses as well, wearing a similar expression to his accomplice. I pushed my hand in a ‘shoo’-ing motion and Han rolled his eyes. He mumbled something to Hyunjin and they both rose and left without another look back. 

I watched them clear the road and turn the corner, safely out of sight. Chris was boring holes into his cup, like it would start levitating through his sheer power of will. He huffed.

“Seems like they might have missed me more than you did.” My brow still raised, I smirked at him. He scoffed. 

“Not a chance.” That twinkle was back. And I had just then made it my life’s mission to make sure it never left again.

#stray kids #bang chan #chan skz #skz #skz bang chan #chan stray kids #chan x you #chan x reader #christopher bang #stray kids chris #chan fic #chan angst #chan #bang chan drabbles #bangchan fluff #bang chan x reader #chris bang #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fics #bang chan fic #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #stray kids bang chan #bang chan fluff #bang chan fanfic #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #skz boyfriend

[cardboardclownery]

...hi guys :]

so uhh. folie a deux posting again-

this issss the first chapter i wrote for this!! cookie and i split the chapters among

ourselves specially based on their content and when pitching the idea for this one cookie said they felt sick while reading my idea so. i was chosen to write this one for his sake -v-

SO!! sit back, relax, and enjoy the horrors my friend B]

(also sorry about the bracket bits at the start, we havent made placeholder town names yet or anything ;v;)

FOLIE À DEUX - CHAPTER 5, DRAFT 1

big tw for: graphic depictions of violence, cannibalism, dark themes(?? its freaky idk what youd call it)

I’ve once again found myself in the dark, suffocating woods surrounding the towns of Eastridge. Realistically, I could’ve stayed in [town name] for a bit longer– I had only just started living there before moving out again. Despite that, something in my head is telling me that I have to leave. Telling me how that place is too close to my old home, how easy it would be for Lankmann to find me there.

That voice has been leading me fairly well so far, so I have no reason to stop following him now.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a bit doubtful, though. I have no reason to believe he’s right or wrong, but a voice telling me to walk endlessly through the wilderness with unconfirmable reasoning isn’t exactly easy to believe. What other choice do I have, though? Stay put and see if it’s proven right, only to risk being put back into that hellish asylum?

No. That isn’t an option. We– I’m not going back there.

God, I’m hungry.

Still, I keep walking, ignoring how much my stomach growled. If I just make it to the nearest town soon, I can get something to eat. I think I still have enough money left to buy something. If not… hopefully they have a soup kitchen. I never imagined I’d end up in a situation where I would depend on something like that. I guess I never considered how people end up homeless or unable to feed themselves.

It feels odd calling myself a “person” now. I don’t know why, but it just seems… wrong in some way.

…I smell something. What is that smell? It’s visceral, almost like raw pork, and yet oddly sweet. I feel drool well up in my mouth and drip down my chin. I quickly wipe it off with my sleeve as I feel my heart begin to pound. Why am I so shaky? And why am I so much hungrier than before?

I look around for the source of the smell only to see a person walking not too far off in the distance. The trees make it hard to see them very well, but I can tell it’s a person. I know it doesn’t make sense for them to be the source of the smell, and yet something’s telling me that they are.

I find myself unable to look away from them. I don’t know why, but I just can’t.

Something about them makes me feel even hungrier.

Why am I hungrier? That’s a fucking person, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just look away– I keep trying but I can’t get myself to look anywhere else but at them. My jaw falls open, letting more saliva spill out. They start walking farther away, I should walk away too.

But I can’t stop staring.

I can’t stop drooling.

I can’t…

I can’t…

stop…

…

…What...

What’s…going on..?

I can’t remember…how I got here…

I feel something in my mouth…I’m chewing something. It feels like steak, yet tastes more like ham. There’s so much of it, I feel it spilling out over my chin. It’s so warm… and wet… Is it covered in blood..? Was this even cooked at all? What the hell am I eating!?

I look down and–

And–

Fuck. Fuck, I–

I choke on what I was chewing, covering my eyes.

This isn’t fucking happening this isn’t happening–

I uncover my eyes and look down again. I see the same thing.

That person I saw. They’re right here, laying right in front of me. They won’t move, there’s a tear in their neck and they’re bleeding. They’re bleeding a lot.

Their leg’s bleeding too– there’s a deep gash in it. It looks as if an animal had torn it open with its teeth.

There’s blood on my hands. And my face, and my clothes.

There’s so much blood.

A sob pushed at my throat as I willed myself into looking at the person’s face. Another slipped out as I saw them staring back at me, making me look away again. I can’t bear looking at them like this. I can’t believe they’re even alive, let alone conscious.

It would’ve been so much easier if it wasn’t…

…What do you mean, “it?”

They aren’t an “it,” that– that’s a person that’s not–

I shake my head and look back down at its– their leg. The wound left in it is so deep, almost reaching the bone. For some reason, when I looked at this…

When I looked… I felt so, so hungry.

I swallow what remained in my mouth. It tastes… good.

Why does it… taste good..?

Without thinking, I lean down, hold the person’s leg in place and tear off another hunk of flesh with my teeth. The person doesn’t even resist or scream. It just lays there, whimpering in pain.

Its meat tastes so, so good.

I quickly chew up the viscera between my teeth and gulp it down along with the blood it was drenched in. I lick my lips to take in the mess on my face. It was oddly savory, even sweet. I tore off another chunk from its leg.

“I…I-I’m so…I’m sor…ry…” I choked out between chews. “I’m so… so, sorry…”

I swallowed down the mush in my mouth before croaking out another “sorry.” I couldn’t stop repeating as I ate, “sorry,” “sorry,” “I’m sorry,” as if it would do anything. It didn’t take long to notice the person stop responding. It finally died off as I sobbed pointless apologies, devouring what was left of its leg.

My sobs became incomprehensible blubbering after this. I couldn’t bring myself to eat anymore. I just buried my head in my hands, muffling the nonsense tumbling from my throat.

…It’s so odd.

In less than a week, I’ve transformed from a deer in headlights into a predator– a beast perhaps even more frightening than the one I had been running from all this time.

…

I can’t remember exactly how we- I got rid of the body. I just remember panicking, dragging the corpse for hours without thinking. I can’t remember where it is now. I think I stepped on something. Just above my ankle, there’s a bloody gash that must’ve been there for a while now. It’s from a bear trap I think. I probably shouldn’t be walking with a wound like that in my leg. I probably shouldn’t be able to walk with that in my leg. It stings, but it doesn’t hurt as much as it should, I don’t think.

I’m still damp from washing in a river. I think it was a river. It might’ve been a lake, actually. I can’t really remember that, either. I just know I was covered in blood, then went somewhere that had water and left without any blood on me. I couldn’t get the stains off of my clothes, though.

Hopefully no one noticed.

I’m in an apartment now– a small, run-down one, but an apartment. I’ll be stuck living here for a while so I need to get used to it. I’ve been staring at the same spot on the beige, hole-filled wall for a few minutes now, standing just in front of the door leading outside. My bag is lying next to me, having been dropped just after walking inside and closing the door.

I should go to bed.

I should unpack.

I should take a proper shower.

I should turn myself in to the police.

I should

I

don’t

I don’t. Know.

What do I do now?

Where do I go from here?

What… what do I do..?

I… I killed someone… I can’t even remember where they are now…

I just… hid them… like it was nothing and walked away.

I ate their fucking leg.

Why… why did I… Why…

Why…

I…

Can’t… breathe…

I fall backwards against the door. I can’t breathe. I choke on nothing. I can’t stop shaking.

My eyes start to sting from the tears forming in them. My fingers curl against the floor. My nails dig into it as they do.

Inhuman sounds bubble in my throat.

I feel something heavy wrap around me but nothing is there.

It becomes easier to breathe somehow.

The invisible weight around me grows heavier, pushing me down to the floor.

I curl into myself, lurching with each choked sob of a breath. Despite there being no source of it in the room, I swear I can hear music.

I really have lost it, haven’t I.

#scheduling this so i can jumpscare myself with the notifs later #also to clarify i dont. condone cannibalism- #sorry if this is too much it just felt right for the story we're making and im ill- #doai #dreams of an insomniac #alex williams doai #doai walex #doai folie a deux au

[thegoldenuzi]

Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.

Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

Long Post incoming lol

In this day and age social media has become increasingly more toxic. People feel they have the right to be hateful, the right to have opinions on strangers and actively tear them down. Even I have fallen into the trap of allowing people like this to distract me from my path of inner peace. It’s hard seeing people be so nasty everywhere. Sometimes you just wanna reason with them but it’s all in vain. They don’t care. They’re content with the way they are. Just today I seen two popular figures get into a misunderstanding. The way fans rushed to tear one of them apart. It was disgusting to watch. Someone even uploaded a 2 year old clip with a fake caption claiming it was in reference to the current situation. They spared no resources to try and garner more hatred toward this person. Admittedly it frustrated me, because I allowed it to. Now that I have had time to reflect I have a different perspective that I want to share with you all. Just in case you might find yourself feeling this way.

I’m currently reading a book called the Mastery of Love. This book covers the way we relate to others, to ourselves and to life in general. Most people live off fear. They don’t accept themselves they don’t love themselves so they put on this fake persona in order to be accepted. We see this the most on the internet. People do and say things to gain validation from strangers. The sense of community they feel when someone also hates the same person they do. It’s exciting for them because they are disturbed inside. When I dislike someone they don’t exist in my reality. I don’t go out of my way to post about them or join others in a smear campaign. I simply don’t engage with them or their content. I love myself enough to not allow another person to have that much control over my attention. It’s cliche but misery does love company. It gives them that acceptance they can’t give themselves because they don’t respect themselves.

I’ve learned that it is not our job to change someone who’s mind is already made up. They feel the way they feel based on their perception of the world. If that doesn’t align with mine, then I don’t need to be involved with that person. It’s best not to try to make it a goal to change these people. Our job as Neville said, is to change ourselves which in turn will change our experience with unwanted situations. If we choose to be happy and to feel love within, then people and circumstances will replace what we currently experience. Instead of looking at these people as dumb frustrating beings, look at them for what they truly are. Hurt people who live in their own mental prisons. They are sick and it’s their job to heal themselves.

The Mastery Of Love says we are only responsible for our dream. Our truth is only the truth for us and nobody else. We don’t know what the other person is dreaming in their minds. In any relationship we are only responsible for our dream. If there is baggage we are only responsible for our baggage. It’s our job to clean up ourselves. If we feel the need to control or fix others, we don’t respect them. We don’t respect people to make their own decisions and their right to choose. So let’s do as Neville suggests and leave the world alone. Let them be, wish them well and remove your attention. Our highest selves wouldn’t waste their time debating with miserable people. They are responsible for their own realities. All we can do is change our relationship to the situation. Remember you always have the power to change your role and shift perspective.

#law of assumption #law of attraction #manifesting #neville goddard #manifesting mindset #manifestation #master manifestor #loa #manifesting advice #rant #affirmations #my thoughts

[renloveskai]

yeonjun calls you clingy/annoying

genre ~ angst w eventual fluff

warnings/tags ~ some cussing, talks about job insecurity, y/n and yeonjun are both bad at communicating (typical young relationships)

a/n ~ this is my first fic so please lmk what you think! im open to criticism and suggestions! also not proofread because im lazy

song of the fic ~ this is how you fall in love, Jeremy zucker

“y/n please leave my office I cannot deal with you right now” your boss says to you sighing and shooing you off

“understood sir, I apologize for the mix up”

you turn around and walk out the office with tears brimming your eyes.

between balancing your work tasks whilst accommodating to your bosses requests, your hands were very full at work today. your boss had asked you to hold on to important documents containing company intel, but somewhere between taking care of your own work you had lost track of the documents. begrudgingly you notified your boss about your mistake.

he did not take it lightly, instead he blew up in your face even threatening your job and adding on more things for you to do by the end of the day. safe to say you’ve had a stressful day. only one thing you want to do to destress, go home and spend quality time with your boyfriend.

you open the door to your apartment and drop your bag and jacket on the floor not even bothering to put your stuff away. you look around the living and don’t see yeonjun assuming he’s in his office.

lightly knocking on the opened office door you greet him “hey junnie, what you up to?”

he doesn’t respond to you so you walk up to him standing behind him at his desk. “hey what are you doing?”

he gives a short hum to you and responds “what do you need?” somewhat used to his lack of responsiveness you reply back “just wanna spend some time with you”

“cant right now, I’m busy”

you can see he’s playing video games, an fps to be specific. you put your hands on his shoulders rubbing them slightly. “you can play your game later let’s go hang out now”

“y/n can’t you see I’m in the middle of so- hey beomgyu watch flank!”

“yeonjun, have you even eaten anything today”

he doesn’t respond to you again so you push further beginning to become irritated. “hello, did you hear me?”

“yeah I heard you, I already said I’m busy let’s do what you wanna do later ok?”

“yeonjun I had a stressful day, i just wanna relax with you”

“y/n please we see each other almost everyday, we should have some time to ourselves too”

you scoff at his ridiculous statement “are you being serious right now? a video game is more important to you than me?”

“god I didn’t even say that! can you just let me breath for a second? you’re so damn clingy, fuck!”

you took you hands off of him standing there in shock. you can’t believe he just said that to you. tears brimming your eyes for the second time to day. you clear your throat and try to remain calm, feeling too tired to argue further.

“please can you just try to understand how I feel right now?” you pleaded with him.

“y/n im sick of dealing with your shit! can’t I just relax for once?”

“ok yeonjun I’ll leave you alone” you quickly turn around and walk to leave his office with tears threatening to spill.

“y/n wait!”

you turn around to see yeonjun still focused on his computer. “Could you shut the door ?”

any glimpse of hope you had that he would take back what he said was gone. you quietly shut the door and walk back to the front door to grab your bag. leaving the apartment you feel tears running down your face uncontrollably. it was like an involuntary reaction that you had no control over. it felt as if in this moment you weren’t allowed to feel any sense of relaxation, so you just decide to take a walk hoping some fresh air will relieve you a bit.

the cold air hitting your skin was bittersweet in a way where it hurt but made you feel alive. the sudden gush of wind made you realize you forgot to bring your jacket. fuck. oh well it’s too late to go back.

it was getting late, the tears had finally began to dry. you look at your phone

10:30pm

20% battery

damn I should head back. you didn’t feel like facing yeonjun right now. despite the uncomfortable sensation of the burning cold air, it still felt warmer than how yeonjun acted towards you. you put your phone on do not disturb to try and preserve your battery and walk into a cafe rest your tired legs.

finding a corner in the cafe where no one would bother you you decide to pull out your laptop and try to get a head start on your work for the next day to prevent any other mishaps. time flies and next thing you know the cafe worker taps you on the shoulder.

“hey, sorry to wake you but we’re closing in 10 minutes, no rush, just wanted to let you know” she gives you a sweet smile. “and here’s a cup of tea to go it looked like you were having a rough day”

“thank you I’ll be out soon, I just need to pack up” after she walks away you let out a big sigh dropping your hands in your face. great I’m visibly distressed. you feel tears beginning to form in your eyes again and try to resist the urge to cry. letting out a shaky breath you stand up and grab you stuff and quickly walk out of the cafe after leaving a $10 tip on the table to prevent any further embarrassment. you pull out your phone to check the time again

no battery

shit. okay where’s the way home. you eventually navigate your way home after taking a couple wrong turns. walking in your dark apartment you leave your things by the door and head to the bathroom for a quick shower. after your shower you go into the bedroom to see yeonjun sound asleep in bed and check the clock

3:00am

he didn’t even check to see where I was. not feeling up to sleeping with your boyfriend you opt for the guest room.

you wake up early unable to sleep due to all the thoughts running through your mind

7:00am

two hours to kill before work. you decide to make breakfast, eggs as pancakes. you make yourself a plate and leave some for yeonjun in the fridge. eating breakfast alone was something you were used to nowadays. after yeonjun went on hiatus for work, he stopped waking up early with you and started to stay in more. some days you would wonder if he got bored of you. does he even love you anymore? you cut the meal short and decide to take another shower, suddenly needing to rid yourself of negativity.

You come out of the shower and look at the time

8:00am

another hour. checking in on yeonjun he’s still asleep on the bed. beginning to become tired again you decide to take the day off work. you needed to work things out with two in anyway. you sit in the guest room desk completing any remote work waiting for yeonjun to wake up.

10:30am

he should be awake. you head over to your shared bedroom and peak inside, he’s sitting up scrolling through his phone. he’s surprised to see you, looking at the time then back at you.

“hey, no work today?”

“no I’m feeling kinda under the weather”

“are you sick?”

“No, just tired”

“tired of what? did something happen?”

You filling walk inside the room and sit at the edge of the bed facing him. his face had a puzzled look watching you carefully make your steps. why is he acting so normal? does he not remember what he said to you?

“yeonjun, are you happy?”

“am I happy?”

“yeah, are you?”

“I mean of course I am, Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno just wonderin”

“y/n that’s a weird question”

“yeah sorry ive just been thinking a lot”

“thinking? about what?” he removes the comforter from his lap and comes closer to you sounding more concerned.

“d-do you still love me?” you voice is unsteady and you look down to avoid any judgement from him.

“what? what are you talking about? where is this coming from?”

“look it’s okay if you don’t, i just would really like to know” you explain to him with shaky hands

“of course I love you, why are you suddenly acting so weird?” he comes closer grabbing your hand in his to try and reassure you.

“then why did you say what you said to me yesterday” eyes starting to tear up at the recollection of the scene.

“I’m sorry what did I say?”

you get up from the bed and scoff. “god you don’t even remember”

“remember what?”

“it’s nothing, nevermind. I’m gonna head out” you say while walking to your closet to grab a change of clothes

“what, to where? can I come?” yeonjun quickly scrambles out of bed to follow you.

“not today jun, i just need some time alone” you say not looking at him in order to keep your composure. it seems like he only cares when push comes to shove. you’re tired of being the only one in the relationship who tries to even spend quality time together. you begin shuffling through your clothes feeling yeonjuns stare at the doorway of your closet. he’s standing in the middle of the frame watching you dumbfounded trying to figure out what he could’ve done. then it clicks. he fucked up. but instead of trying to console you he tries to get you to explain the problem.

“y/n you always do this. please stop being so passive, can you just tell me what I did so we can work through this?” he says frustrated while running his fingers through his hair.

“im tired yeonjun. if you can’t see what you did wrong then i dont know how it can be helped.” you say still shuffling through your clothes, only this time you are mindlessly looking at your shirts with no intention of picking one out.

“y/n stop looking through your clothes look at me, how is our relationship gonna work if we can’t even communicate with each other?” He says getting more irritated

you turn to him, seeing his face making you start to tear up. You look at him wondering where the man you fell in love with is. the guy who would hold your hand while you walked down the stairs so you wouldn’t trip, the guy who would ask you for cuddles after dinner every night, the guy who would send you lunch every week reminding you to eat. now all you feel is a burden to him. someone he has to tend to because he locked himself in a relationship. he’s since stopped his loving actions and you feel like a mere roommate to him. you see him for an hour a day max. endless days you wonder if your relationship was meant to be, if he still feels satisfied by you. hell he could be with anyone he wanted, big hot superstar with millions of fans. but he chose you, why?

you feel your heart rate rising getting more nervous to confront him about your feelings. you’re scared he’s gonna confirm all of your worries. you let out a shaky breath and ask him “yeonjun, are you satisfied in our relationship?”

“y/n is everything ok, why are you asking me this?” he begins to walk closer growing more concerned instead of irritated.

“please just answer the question”

“of course I am, why would I not be?”

“Well m-maybe because you don’t pay attention to me anymore. everytime i get home from work you’re too busy to even give me the time of day. you stopped having breakfast with me. you don’t even look me in the eye when we’re talking sometimes. and you called me clingy yesterday. im sorry if i did something to upset you, but i just wanna spend time with my boyfriend. is that so much to ask?” you didn’t even realize it but you were full on crying at this point. tears streaming down your face at an uncontrollable rate.

you look up at him and he’s looking at the floor with a guilty expression. “well?” you throw your hands up in impatience “do you have anything to say?”

to your surprise he begins to cry as well. “y-y/n im so sorry. fuck i can’t begin to say how sorry I am. i don’t deserve you, I know I’ve been such a shit boyfriend. i-i i don’t even know what to say. please I’ll make it up to you. I’ll start being better now. it’s just that after we went on hiatus my manager told me that the company doesn’t currently have future plans for our group a-and so I guess I really let it get to my head. i don’t what’s wrong with me, baby please forgive me. i promise I’ll do whatever it takes, just please don’t leave me. i love you so much, everyday im so grateful to have you as my girlfriend.” you can hear the panic in his voice. And that only makes you more emotional.

“what? yeonjun, what did you say?” you walk up closer to him, tears still in your eyes. you look up at him to try and get him to look at you.

he makes eye contact with you “what do you mean?”

“why didn’t you tell me? about the company?”

“I don’t know, I guess I was just scared.”

“scared of what?”

“scared that you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. so I just kinda shut off. i dunno I started to distance myself, telling myself if you broke up with me then it would hurt less.”

“junnie i would never leave you because you’re not an idol anymore. I don’t care if you quit your job right now and became unemployed. that’s not why I fell in love with you, I love you for you, okay?”

he sniffles and tries to wipe away his tears “im sorry, I love you so much, I don’t know where I would be in life without you.”

you pull him in for a hug, feeling the warmth of his touch for the first time in a while. “im sorry too, I should’ve told you about how I felt” you feel him hug you tighter.

“thank you y/n, for telling me about this. im glad we got this off our chest.” he says while rubbing you back and giving a kiss on the forehead.

you hum and smile to him “I missed you so much. i just wanna be in your arms forever”

“come to bed with me” he says breaking your embrace and pulling you to bed.

he lies down with you next to him and pulls the sheets over the two of you, entangling this legs with yours and wrapping his arms around your waist resting his head on your chest. “im never letting go of you”

you giggle at his cute actions and run your hands through his hair. resting the other hand on his arm drawing little shapes on it.

he looks up at your face and smiles “oh and about the clingy thing, please don’t ever stop asking for my attention. i will drop anything for you. i love when you’re clingy”

you smile at him and again and lean down to kiss him “I love your cuddles”

you feel your stomach start to grumble “but can we order some food, im kinda hungry.”

“nope, im not letting you go”

#txt angst #txt x reader #txt fic #txt fanfic #yeonjun #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fic #txt #yeonjun fanfic #Spotify

[morallyinept]

A full transcribe of JOEL MILLER'S dialogue/lines from the TV show THE LAST OF US.

EPISODE 3 - FOR A LONG, LONG TIME

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:

I don’t want your sorrys-

Five hour hike. 

__________________

Not often, no.

People. 

Frank is. 

I didn’t fall down any stairs. 

Someone shot at me and missed. 

Yeah. 

No, I missed too. It happens more often than you think. 

In general.

No. 

Hang back a minute. I gotta grab some stuff I stashed. 

You ask a lot of Goddamn questions. 

__________________

We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear, which I currently am 'cause-

No. I’m just zeroing in on it. It’s been a couple of years.

Trust me, it’s all been picked over already. 

Just you. 

Fuck. 

__________________

Ellie? Ellie! 

Ellie?

There’s not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless. 

No. 

__________________

A few times, sure. 

Didn’t feel like it at the time. Get shoved into a middle seat, pay 12 bucks for a sandwich. 

Yeah, well. So did they. 

Pretty much. 

It wasn’t a monkey. I thought you went to school. 

No-one knows for sure, but… best guess… Cordyceps mutated. And some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal… pancake mix. You eat enough of it, it’ll get ya infected. So the tainted food all hits the store shelves around the same time Thursday. People brought it, ate some Thursday night, or Friday mornin'. Day goes on… they started to get sick. Afternoon, evening, they got worse. Then they started bitin’.  Friday night, September 26, 2003. And by Monday, everything was gone. 

Sure. 

We’ll cut across the woods here. 

Yeah, it’s just… There’s stuff up there you shouldn’t see. 

I don’t want you to. 

I’m serious. Ellie.

No. 

About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers… went through the countryside, evacuated the small towns. Told you you were going to a QZ, and you were… if there was room. If there wasn’t… 

No, probably not. 

Dead people can’t be infected. 

__________________

I’m the same way. 

I understand. If my, uh… if mine… brought strangers into our situation, I wouldn’t be happy either. But of all the people he could’ve found on the radio, we’re actually decent people just tryin’ to get by. 

There’s stuff we have in the QZ that you don’t have here. Book, medicine, machine parts. We can help each other and get that gun outta my face. 

So, what, you were a… prepper or somethin’?

That fence has got a year on it, tops. Galvanised wire already started to corrode. I can get you ten spools of high-tensile aluminium. Last you the rest of your life. Lives. 

FEDRA’s never gonna come up here. And you’re well protected against stray infected. But sooner or later, they’ll be raiders. And they’ll beat that fence and your trip wires. They’ll come at night, quiet and armed. 

__________________

You stay there. 

Bill? Frank?

You stay there. You hear anything, you see anything… yell.

__________________

Ellie?

So they’re dead?

Go ahead. You do it. 

Stay here. 

__________________

Show me your arm. 

I just finished making a truck battery, it's charging right now. 

And I have a brother out in Wyoming. He’s in some kind of trouble and I’m heading out there to find him. He used to be a Firefly. My guess is he knows where some of them are out there. Maybe they can get you to wherever this lab is. 

If I’m takin’ you with me, there’s some rules you gotta follow. Rule one, you don’t bring up Tess. Ever. Matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. Rule two, you don’t tell anyone about your… condition. They see that bite mark, they won’t think it through. They’ll just shoot you. Rule three, you do what I say when I say it. We clear?

Repeat it. 

Okay. 

We grab what we can. 

__________________

If he didn’t reset the countdown every few weeks, this playlist would run over the radio. 

Grab some cans from over there. Nothin’ dented or swollen.

No. 

Needs another hour. 

__________________

Shut up.

__________________

It’s your first time in a car? 

No, it’s a piece-of-shit Chevy S-10, but it’ll get us there. I think. Seatbelt. Seatbelt.

Would you leave it? Put it back. Ellie... 

Oh, no, wait. No, leave it. Leave it. Ohm this is good. This is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who Linda Ronstadt is? 

Oh, man. 

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller the last of us #pedro pascal characters #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal character dialogue #joel miller dialogue #PPCU

[bengiyo]

Be My Favorite Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Kawi was forced to accept the finality of his dad’s death (again), and also faced himself and Pisaeng properly. He’s fully-revealed his time travel shenanigans to Pisaeng. Kawi is trying to end things with Pear, and asked Pisaeng to go out with him. Also Max gave a speech at an LGBTQ event and committed to staying Thailand.

I like coming back to the sushi date and reiterating that Kawi has to choose to be responsible with alcohol. It’s also nice to see Pisaeng enjoying a moment.

Oof, Pear’s mom deserved that gut check.

Oh, Pisaeng, don’t set up a false dichotomy between the band and yourself at the beginning of your relationship.

I feel a bit nervous about Pisaeng drinking instead of Kawi.

Aye is so good. You can feel how long Pear has been holding this resentment.

Oh, I really do not want them to kiss like this. Why is every single one of their kisses fueled by alcohol?

Wow, this show just made me glad that a Krist character blocked a kiss.

I don’t care for Not. His first instinct is always to tear someone else down.

I do like when one of them knows the other is staring and pretends to keep sleeping to let them have it.

Kawi’s desire to take their relationship seriously, and to hold back on taking advantage of Pisaeng’s wealth so they can find a way to be more equal in their relationship is really just so nice to see.

I despise Not. Kwan and Pisaeng, we need to have a talk about the kinds of guys y’all like.

See, and this is why I hate Not. He took coming out away from them. This is so gross and so cruel. I’m over this dude. Pear has to come here and force the issue herself, and now Kawi has no chance of letting her down easy.

Not said, “No, I will not Make It Right.” I’m so sick of this dude. Kwan, you deserve better.

If Pear really gives it up for this dude, I may revolt.

Kawi’s concern for others reminds me of Akk in The Eclipse. Just like in the Our Skyy 2 special, there’s a similar thread about living our lives for other people or for ourselves as a major source of tension.

Pear just put that nasty little dude in his place! “Stop talking about OUR friends and stop sniffing around me.”

Pisaeng is right that Kawi can’t see a version of the future that isn’t bad. There’s no way to exist long term as a queer person in this world without hope.

Looking forward to the dating era next episode, and I want to unpack that Kawi is reading Sherlock Holmes

Okay, real shit, we gotta do right by my girls Pear and Kwan before this is over. Pear’s issues with her mom are so real, and I can’t see Kwan go out like this!

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[planetkiimchi]

liability | l.mh

featuring: lee minho x manager!reader (established relationship), stray kids

warnings: just minho being very uncomfortable and talks about idol life not being perfect, not proofread

word count: 853 words

a/n: a little bit of brainrot after seeing the skz interviews from the vmas, you could barely see lino in a couple of them and he was clearly uncomfortable, so i wrote a quick little oneshot instead of working on my other wips. whoops!

if you liked it, REBLOG it.

Minho’s as quiet as a cat and you know it. He looks distinctly uncomfortable, eyes darting around and brows furrowed. He’s silent, hovering beside the rest of them. Felix and Chan have taken interview question after interview question, smoothly intercepting the questions thrown at them without leaving any awkward silences.

Jisung squeezes Minho’s hand and you tell yourself to breathe, that Minho will be okay even if you can’t reach over to him right now. You watch with keen eyes as cameras train themselves all over the group, bright lights illuminating their faces.

Minho is hidden in the shadows, barely visible unless you’re really looking for him. You clench your jaw, feeling anxious on his behalf. The night has only just begun, and he still has to get through the rest of the night while listening to conversations in English that he doesn’t know how to join.

As soon as the interviewer leaves, you pull the collar of your jacket up to cover your face, closing the distance between you and Minho. Seungmin sees you and makes space for you, and you cast him a grateful look.

“Are you alright?” You keep your volume down, face turned towards Minho so that no one else can see the concern on your face.

Minho doesn’t look at you. He keeps his eyes trained determinedly on the stage, jaw set in a hard line. You look down and notice that he’s still holding onto Jisung’s hand. In fact, the veins in his forearms are visible, which tells you that he’s holding onto Jisung’s hand tightly enough that it should hurt, but Jisung doesn’t make any noise.

He inhales sharply and turns to look at you for a split second before he turns back to face the stage. “Yes.”

But it doesn’t sound like he means it. You wonder if there’s anything you can do to help him, but you don’t think he wants it. Sometimes you don’t think Minho was suited for the idol life. He would have flourished as a dancer, perhaps doing even better than he does now in Stray Kids. You wonder if you had a part to play in that.

Minho grabs your hand roughly, as if he knows what you’re thinking. “Stop it,” he says lowly. “Stop thinking it’s your fault that I’m uncomfortable. I don’t want to be here because I’m an introvert, and that’s my issue. There’s nothing you could do to prevent this. Stop blaming yourself.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

He turns to look you in the eye properly, finally noticing your expression and the way your lips quiver worriedly.

“Y/n, I am happy. Everyone has issues sometimes. I’m tired sometimes. That’s normal! You never worry this badly about Changbin or Hyunjin.”

You avert your eyes. “Oh my God, you do.” You chew on your lip, but Minho isn’t going to let you off this easily.

“Y/n, our mental health is not solely your responsibility. You are responsible for us as far as we let you be—if we come to you seeking help, it is your duty to help us in seeking help. It is not your duty to be our therapist. That’s not your job.

“You are our manager, Y/n. You’re not our parent. You don’t have to worry about us, we’re grown men. We can handle ourselves,” he says with a bitter smile.

“But you’re my boyfriend.”

The corners of Minho’s lips curve upwards, just a little. “I know you love me. But I love you too, and worrying sick about eight men who don’t need that level of concern isn’t taking care of yourself.”

You have to admit that he’s right. It’s rather stupid sometimes, how strongly you feel all your emotions, and get too caught up in other people’s lives. “Okay,” you mumble, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. You absentmindedly wonder who styled him today, and if you should find them later to tell them to continue putting rings on Minho, simply because he always forgets to take them off, so you’ve gotten into the habit of fiddling with his rings, since you rarely wear any.

Minho rubs your thumb comfortingly, and you know that’s the biggest display of affection that he can offer in a public space like this.

You see someone waving at you, and drop Minho’s hand, assuming the position of his manager once more. The soft smile on his face drops, and he follows after Chan, and you bring up the rear as Stray Kids heads towards their seats.

As Minho turns to get into his seat, his eyes meet yours, and he holds a thumbs-up low at his hip. You’re used to catching these gestures now, and you discreetly nod at him, mouthing a thank you.

FIN.

if you liked it, REBLOG it.

#k-labels #🪁 — my works #⛓️ — liability #minho #stray kids #lee know #lee minho #chan #han jisung #changbin #hyunjin #felix #kpop #kpop fics

[aliasimagines]

First, let me just say that I'm completely in love with your writing and that my heart and mind only think of two things: Mary and your of headcanons Werewolf!Mary

Due to this constant idea in my head, may I request a piece where Mary Goore meets the reader when he was still young, and they live a 'teens' love? And then, for some reason, reader needs to move or something and just comes back years later, when Mary is changed? (I love an angst with lovesick characters, seeing Mary like that just makes me want to hug him and I would be very pleasent on doing it)

Thank you a lot for writing so many things for us!

Hi, lovely. Thank you so much for the request and your kind words, you're way too nice. I am not sure if you wanted Mary too be werewolf in this or not, so i wrote him normally. But let me know if you you wanted it differently and i can go back and change it. Hope you enjoy reading and have a great day✨

word count:1257

warnings: way too many time skips because I'm lazy, some cursing and angst

Seeing Mary for the first time was like a movie scene. There were sparks flying everywhere and you just knew you had to get to know him. You seemed to catch his attention too and it wasn’t long before you two started dating.

He was so young, you both were. Young, stupid and reckless. And so in love. 

The two of you did everything together. Mary dragged you to the grimiest bars to see bands you never even heard about. You showed him a type of kindness and love he never experienced before. You completed each other

Both of you thought that you would.be together forever. But life is not a fairytale and when you found out you had to move away you were devastated. 

It was late by the time Mary’s band finished with practice and he promised to walk you home afterwards. You sat through the whole practice in the tiny garage of his friend's house, but you were far too distracted to pay attention to them. You don’t  know how to break it to him. 

 You look over at him. He is rambling about a new song, his eyes sparkling with excitement, his gorgeous features illuminated by the street lamps and his soft hair being caressed by the gentle wind.

You choke back your tears.

“Mary-”

“-telling you now, that songs gonna-”

“Mary.”

“-Yeah? Heyy, what’s up?” he asks, concerned after seeing your expression. 

“I- I have to move.”

“Move? Well, you know my place is a shithole and I share it with the guys, but.. I don’t know, we could save up and find a little place for ourselves…That would be sick actually.” he smiles at the thought but you shake your head, now crying.

“No, Mare, I have to move. My grandma is sick and we have to move there to take care of her.”

Mary is speechless.

“Is.. where?”

“((a/n: i’m not gonna say a specific place but imagine it's about a 5-7 hours flight away.))”

“Fuck..” he kicks the pavement. “When are you leaving?”

“Next week.”

“I’m coming with you.” 

“You can’t. Mary your whole life is here, your friends, your band-”

“You are my whole life, god damn it!” he yells, making you jump. “I’m sorry.”

He runs his fingers through his hair and pulls you into a hug.

“We can figure something out.”

“We should.. we should break up.” you choke out, pulling away from Mray so you can look at his face,  not believing you just said that.

“What the fuck are you talking about? We can- fuck there must be something we can do.”

You shake your head again, “It’s not gonna work and.. and I want you to be happy so-”

“So you are breaking up with me? How's that gonna make me happy? Baby, I know that is not what you want-”

You take a deep breath.

“It is. I love you, Mare, so much but.. It will be easier if we break up.”

“That’s stupid.” he takes your hand in his.”Please don’t do this, okay? I will fly out to you, we can talk, I- I need you y/n.” his voice breaks. You reach up to pull his face closer and kiss him.

You can taste the cigarette on his lips and your salty tears. You kiss him, pouring all your emotions into the kiss. You kiss him like it is the last time before running away leaving Mary alone on the street.

 a week later, at the airport

"Y/n!" 

You don't stop, maybe they are not calling for you or it's just your imagination playing tricks on you.

"Y/N! Wait!" 

You spin around seeing Mary rushing towards you. You gasp. 

 "Mary…" you feel like crying, but you bite your lip and wait for him to catch up to you. 

 His face is red from running, his messy hair is everywhere and he's panting. "I..-"

He grabs your arm , trying to figure out what to say. He looks so lost. Panicked. You have never seen him like this.

 "I don't want you to go." he sounds so desperate, his hand grasping the sleeve of your coat. 

 You're way past trying to stop your tears from falling. You gently brush his hand from your sleeve. 

 You want nothing more than to wrap him in your arms but you know if you do you wouldn't be able to leave. And you have to.

 "I love you.." 

There is a loud robotic voice announcing that your flight’s departing soon. 

You tear your gaze away from his and walk away once more, silently crying. Leaving him all alone again. 

Mary just stands there, staring after you. He doesn’t move for god knows how long. He doesn’t care about how loud he is sobbing and he doesn’t even acknowledge that people are starting. He feels like someone just tore his heart out of his chest.

8 years later

You moved back a few months ago. Got a small apartment and a job. You slowly started to reconnect with old friends. But there was one person you didn’t dare to get in contact with... Of course it was Mary.

Seeing him for the first time after years was like a punch in the face that made you see stars. Like a kick in the stomach that awakened the old butterflies from their deep slumber. It’s like the stitches holding your heart together finally snapped, causing all those past wounds to bleed again.

You are confused as you feel all these emotions at the same time and yet you feel..at home. Safe. Like you are where you're supposed to be. 

 You are still uncertain what would be the best thing to do here. You want to run up to him and..  And what? It has been eight long years! You sure have changed and just by looking at him you can tell that so did Mary. Neither of you are those lovesick, reckless teenegers that you once were. 

What if he doesn’t even remember you?

Just then, you see him look up to you from across the bar. Or maybe he wasn’t looking at you because he went straight back to his drink and- Now he is looking at you again, this time his eyes are wide open. 

You are both staring, unsure what the other is thinking about, afraid to make the first move.

But there is this indescribable feeling, burning deep inside of you. A magnetic force pulling you towards him, but you’re frozen to the ground. 

Mary finally gives in, standing abruptly from his seat. He crosses the room in a few seconds but time seems to freeze and it feels like hours.

“Mary..” you breathe out. He hesitantly opens his arms, however you don’t hesitate to throw yourself into his arms. His arms wrap around you tightly and you bury your face in his shirt. Every other noise in the room, every other person seems to disappear. It’s just Mary and you.

“Is this real? I am not dreaming right?”

“You want me to pinch you?” you chuckle. “No, you’re not dreaming. I am here and I am not going anywhere.”

“You better not!” Mary says, making you smile. He takes a deep breath and continues softly. “I couldn’t take it again.”

You reach up to caress his face and when he doesn’t pull away you whisper: “Maybe it wasn’t the right time for us back then. Maybe.. we can try again?”

He nods. “I want nothing more.”

#i honestly don't know how to feel about this one #its not my best🤷🏻‍♀️ #gif not mine!! #requested #mary goore #mary goore angst #mary goore x reader #alias imagines

[taintedevesayori]

Sayo's Route: Maniac 03

Sayo's Route Masterlist

-All of the Sakamaki brothers are gathered in the living room

Ayato: Hehe…So you took Sayo out to a festival yesterday? Did she hate every minute of it? 

Shu: I saw them when they returned…It looked like she was in a rather good mood for once.

Ayato: Seriously…?

Laito: Is it really that surprising that we enjoyed ourselves, Ayato-kun?

Ayato: Obviously, with how much you two have been fighting recently. 

Subaru: It’s about damn time. All the fighting was annoying as hell. 

Reiji: This is important progress. Sayo no longer cares about avoiding those other vampires. We still do not know what they want with her, so we need to keep her away from them. Laito, it is even more important now to maintain a good relationship with her to prevent her from seeking out Kou for companionship. 

Laito: I know that, Reiji. I’m trying my best to fix things between us. Yesterday went well, so now I know what direction to go in. 

Reiji: Good. 

-Meanwhile, Sayo is taking a walk in the rose garden. She can hear the faint sound of footsteps from behind her for a second before they disappear. She strains to hear them again and can a moment later

(Someone is sneaking around…I sure am sick of this. You’d think they would have learned already…)

-She stops, pulling out her pocket knife

Sayo: I can hear you. Come out already. 

-Kou and Yuma step out

Kou: Aw…Guess we were caught. 

Yuma: Why the hell do you have your knife out…?

Sayo: Kou? Yuma? What are you two doing here?! 

Kou: We came to see you, of course! How mean, Sayo-chan…Were you really going to attack us with that knife?

Sayo: I’m used to the brothers sneaking around like that to attack me. Ayato and Laito especially. There’s no way I would have guessed it would be you two. More importantly, you shouldn’t be here! If any of them find out, they will most definitely try something. 

Yuma: I ain’t scared of them. 

Kou: That’s why we both came instead of just me, you know? 

Sayo: You’re still way outnumbered! Now hurry up and come with me before anyone sees you. 

-Sayo puts her knife away before grabbing their arms. She drags them away from the mansion. She doesn’t stop until they are safely a ways away from the grounds

Sayo: I can’t believe you would show up like this…just to see me? 

Kou: Fufu…I felt like seeing you, so I came. 

Yuma: I came along to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. 

Sayo: That was rather reckless of you both…

Kou: Aw…Are you not happy to see us, Sayo-chan? 

Sayo: I didn’t say that…It’s just, something might have happened to the two of you if you got caught by the brothers…

Kou: I know that’s what you meant. I just wanted to tease you a bit~

Sayo: Why you…

Yuma: Well, since we’re out now, let’s do something. Or should we go back to our place? 

Kou: Let’s do something! Sayo-chan doesn’t get out a lot! 

Sayo: What would you guys like to do…? I don’t have any money on me. And I don’t want you to have to pay for me again, Kou…

Kou: I don’t mind paying for you~ You paid me back with your gift and those sweets you made. 

-Sayo smiles

Sayo: There’s not much I can do, so I’m glad you see it that way…

Yuma: This idiot is better off spendin’ his money on you than anything else. You like sweets, right? Let’s go get something sweet. 

Kou: Yuma is big on sweets too! I mean, he carries around a jar of sugar cubes. 

Yuma: Are you hating on Sugar-chan?! Aahn?!

Kou: No! I was just telling her. You can’t get mad if it’s the truth! 

Sayo: Fufu…If you like sweet things, is there any particular place you like to go, Yuma? 

Yuma: …Yeah, I guess there’s one or two. You wanna go? 

Sayo: Sure. Like Kou said, I don’t go out very often. I’m interested in seeing. 

Yuma: Let’s go then.

-Sayo follows them to a bakery

Kou: Order whatever you want, Sayo-chan!

Sayo: Are you really sure…?

Kou: Of course. If you don’t pick, I’ll just pick something out for you. 

Yuma: Kou is used to getting his way. It’ll be better to just go along with what he wants. 

Sayo: Duly noted…

-The three order before finding a table to eat

Yuma: So were those guys pretty mad that you were with us the other day? 

Sayo: Pretty much. I got a long lecture from Reiji because of it. But I told them that we’re friends now and I’m not going to stop seeing you. They aren’t happy but they can’t control me. 

Yuma: And here we thought you were livestock with no free will…How the hell have you managed to stop them from controlling you? 

Sayo: I don’t really know what you’re imagining…but I avoid them a lot and fight against them when they try to take my blood or do anything controlling. I don’t think it’s anything all that special…just what any normal person would do in this situation. 

Yuma: We thought you were livestock because a normal person would have given in by now. 

-Sayo shrugs

Sayo: We butted heads a lot in the beginning. They wanted to kill me for it, but their father won’t let them. We had to learn to get along after that.

My relationship with Reiji and Subaru isn’t bad. We can spend time together and it’s fine. Kanato is a little psychotic so I avoid him when possible. Shu does his own thing so we don’t talk much. Laito is…Laito. Ayato is okay. He has his moments but I don’t hate him.

But I keep a wall up to stop them from getting too close. No point in that when I’m planning on escaping in the first place. I know they wish I would have a better attitude about living there and getting closer to them since I’m supposed to marry one of them eventually, but I have no interest in it. 

Yuma: A part of me wondered why they were goin’ so far to protect one girl…that you must have them wrapped pretty tight around your finger for them to want to. But now I guess I kinda get it. 

Kou: Right? You’re making it hard for them to have you so they want you even more. It’s that sort of thing, right?

Sayo: I don’t know about that…I think it’s more about being territorial. 

Yuma: But if they didn’t care, they wouldn’t go this far. They would have let us take you already. 

(I can’t come up with an argument…Subaru specifically told me to stay when this first began, even though I don’t give them much blood. If all they wanted was someone to give them blood all the time…would they have cut their losses and found someone else? ….I don’t like the thought that I might be special to them in some way.)

Kou: See? You can’t disagree.

Sayo: Haah…Maybe so, but still. There’s no way I’m special to them. 

Kou: You aren’t or you don’t want to be?

Sayo: ….

Monologue

We spent some more time at the bakery after I changed the subject.  I didn’t want to speculate over that anymore. If I was going to spend time with them, it was best not to spend it thinking about the Sakamakis.  They saw my point, and the rest of our time together was enjoyable.  When I got back to the mansion, I bumped into Reiji as I was heading up to my room. 

Reiji: Sayo. A moment, please. 

(Crap…Did someone see Kou and Yuma after all…?)

Sayo: Good evening, Reiji. Do you need me for something? 

Reiji: It has been some time since we have played a game of chess together. I would like to challenge you. 

(Chess…? That’s not what I expected. It has been a while, now that I think about it. He taught me shortly after I moved here because he was sick of how his brothers played. After a few games, I was able to get the hang of it and he said I was actually an alright partner. I’ve gotten a lot better since then so he enjoys playing with me. Guess a game could be fun.)

Sayo: Sure, let’s play. 

Reiji: Come along then. 

-She follows him to his room. The chess board is already set up

Reiji: I shall let you go first. 

Sayo: Oh? You’re being generous. I’ll take you up on that offer.

Reiji: Will the Goddess of Victory shine upon you today, Sayo? You lost five out of seven rounds the last time we played. Your frustrated expression isn’t bad to watch, so it’s a perfect way to kill time.

Sayo: Teasing me, I see…

Reiji: I’m simply telling the truth. 

-Sayo grins cheekily

Sayo: Well, it isn’t bad to watch your focused expressions when you have to counter my good moves. 

Reiji: Fufu…Oh? I did not realize you watch me so intently. 

Sayo: Likewise.

Reiji: Well, don’t let me distract you too much. You won’t be able to win the game.

Sayo: Fufu…You wish you could distract me that much. 

Reiji: Be careful. Some might take your words as a challenge. 

Sayo: It’s a good thing you’re serious about chess then, isn’t it?

Reiji: If we play enough, I might just decide to take distracting you while still trying to win as a personal challenge. 

Sayo: We’ll see about that.

*Timeskip*

Reiji: Checkmate.

Sayo: Damn…I thought I had you for sure….

Reiji: Fufu…it was a close game, I will give you that. You did not disappoint.

Sayo: I take that as high praise coming from you. 

Reiji: Sayo…There’s something I want to discuss with you. You’ve returned home with the scent of those other vampires clinging to you. 

(So he has known this whole time….)

Sayo: I see….This game was just a ruse to lecture me? 

Reiji: I did want to play against you. That is why I have saved it until the end. But, how about I make you a deal? If we play again and you win, I will spare you the lecture. 

Sayo: Oh? 

-Sayo grins, a determined look on her face

Sayo: Well then, game on, Reiji. 

Reiji: I will go first this time.

*Timeskip*

Sayo: And that’s checkmate.

Reiji: Fufu…So you have won after all. That is too bad. I had hoped to punish you after my lecture. 

Sayo: I was not about to let that happen…

Reiji: Well? We have only played two rounds. Shall we play again? I have plenty of spare time. 

Sayo: Fine by me. I’ll be sure to beat you again. 

Reiji: Fufu…We shall see about that.

-To be continued-

#diabolik lovers oc #diabolik lovers #sayori makina #kou mukami #laito sakamaki #yuma mukami #ayato sakamaki #shu sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #diabolik lovers fanfiction #sayo's route

[arwenkenobi48]

Rejecting Grimdark, Reclaiming Humanity

Trigger warning: capitalism, emotional abuse, mentions of suicidal ideation

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I’ve never really surrounded myself by grimdark media and I think the fact that I ended up in a severe mental health crisis and experienced suicidal ideation whenever I was exposed to it isn’t a coincidence; it’s just not good for my soul

Don’t get me wrong, I love dark media and I’m a sucker for bittersweet endings, but that’s because there’s a certain beauty that comes with that which I can’t find in grimdark fiction; I just end up wondering why that piece of media even exists. If the characters and the world they live in amount to nothing, what’s the point of even creating something surrounding it? What’s the point in following the journey of characters whose entire purpose is to suffer without any form of recompense?

There isn’t even any catharsis in it like you’d find in a Shakespearean tragedy; it’s just pain for the sake of pain and I think we, as a generation, have had far too much of that already. And the idea that grimdark fiction is pushed as “realistic” and “just how life is” makes me sick to my stomach. The phrase “life isn’t all [insert positive thing here]” has come to mean “[positive thing] doesn’t exist and it’s wrong to expect it” which just reeks of defeatism and honestly feels like a mass scale form of emotional abuse.

Capitalism not only robs us of what we need to survive, but preys on our emotions and systematically destroys our wills through pushing this agenda. Whenever I see someone making jokes about how they thought something good was coming into their lives only for it to be snatched away, my heart breaks bc it’s clear that they’ve internalised that harmful shit. I’ve noticed this particularly with memes about how every year since 2016 people have been hoping for something better and getting that hope crushed. Some say that laughter is the best medicine and I do agree with that sentiment a lot of the time, but there’s a big difference between a genuine, joyful laugh and a sardonic chuckle, which is what I feel is becoming the status quo.

The authoritarian capitalists that currently rule us can only truly thrive when they know they’ve killed every fragment of joy within us. And the way they’re doing that is by twisting even something as wholesome as human laughter into something that just creates more numbing pain. They want us to be numb. They want us to stop feeling. They want us to stop caring. To care, to feel, to have hopes and dreams is to be human. They don’t want humans. They want machines. Machines that were once human. They can build as many robots as they want; it’s not like they can’t afford it. But the idea of humans leading a happy life that aren’t in their elite circle is something they cannot stand. That’s why they’re determined to break us by any means necessary.

I know that we’ve all been hurt. Not just by the capitalists, but by individual traumas we’ve faced throughout all stages of life. I’ve been hurt too. My pain, while it has eased, hasn’t ceased yet. But the worst thing any of us could possibly do is let that pain numb us. The moment we stop feeling, stop caring and stop hoping for something better, that is the moment they win. I know it isn’t easy. I know it’s hard to break free from the pessimistic mindset they’ve been instilling in us for so long, but you can do it. Don’t be afraid.

Don’t be afraid to feel. Don’t be afraid to care. Don’t be afraid to hope for and long for something better than what you have. We all deserve better than what they’re doing to us. Defeatism, pessimism and apathy are our worst enemies and their most powerful allies. There’s only one way to break free of that. And that is to feel, care, hope, dream, aspire, be passionate. To love one another and to love ourselves.

It’s been said, time and time again, that true love conquers all. There’s a large number of people who have a very shallow understanding of what that means. But as sentimental as some may call it, love truly is our greatest strength. Love for our planet, our own human race, for each other, for the life and future we know we deserve. Do you think all the revolutions that toppled the tyrants of old from their thrones would have still happened had the people not been united by love? Just think about it. An entire nation can rise up and defeat evil all because they collectively agreed “We love each other so deeply that we’re going to fight tooth and nail for the lives, peace and happiness we deserve”. There is something beautiful and profound about that. And I still believe that we all have that same fighting spirit in us all. We must do everything we can to keep it alive.

So the next time someone tells you a happy ending isn’t “realistic”, it’s best to politely disagree. We all deserve to live happily ever after. We all deserve happiness and peace in our lives. Life is not a piece of grimdark fiction. We need to realise that. We need to rekindle the warmth inside our hearts. We need to let ourselves be human again.

(Author’s Note: That took a lot out of me. What started as nothing more than an introspective throwaway post turned into a full blown manifesto. I’m glad I wrote it, though, and I want to share it. I hope that it inspires some positive change.)

#manifesto #anti capitalism #anti corporations #unity #philosophy #pessimism #optimism #tw: emotional manipulation #tw: emotional abuse #media manipulation #cynicism #humanity #the human condition #love #the power of love #revolution #grimdark #life #life philosophy #epiphany #courage #hope #human spirit #arwen speaks

[nuggetstappen]

I talked about me having two idea for Evil Lewis, right?

I've written the angsty one (not completed) and would like to warn everyone here about the mention of faeces, execution and just gory/mature content!

You'll be reading it at your own risk

18+ Warning

due to aforementioned topics!

His body shakes as the guards put his neck on a noose, cackling at his misery. He could repeat the action that got him to this point but he rather dies for killing only ponce than twice, especially in that king’s territory.

“Aw, noose got your ugly dragon tongue?” one of the guards puts his hand in Max’s mouth and pulls out his long, slender tongue, leaving behind the taste of faeces, sperm and other disgusting flavours in his mouth, alongside the pain of his tongue being pulled to the edge of almost ripping out this muscle.

“A shame the king forbid us to enjoy ourselves on you before your execution, I’m sure your tongue could have worked wonders wandering down my shaft into the very place children come from.”

A scoff escapes him from this absurdity. Although maybe possible, such indecent thought never occurred Max.

This doesn’t seem to bother the guards, as they continue to let their hands wander over Max’s body, touching every yet so private part of his body, also trying to cause yet another fire to burst out of Max’s mouth.

After an agonizing while, another guard comes in and tells the other two to prepare to leave with the monster, pointedly looking at the already dead man that is Max. It’s not a secret that he will be hung publicly, he just hoped they could cut off his head instead of letting him struggle with life and death.

“I still wonder why the king let you live for so long. We all knew you were smelling like trouble and pain.”

Getting pushed and dragged outside, he hisses when the real sun hits his eyes that were used to the darkness of his unhygienic cell. It doesn’t matter anymore, though, he will die blind or not.

The king also seems to share this thought, a cruel smile on his stupidly handsome face, adorned by black ink all over his body and beautiful gems sealed into the skin of the true monster in Max’s opinion.

Shocked gasps fill the streets as the people of the kingdom take in Max, the long, black horns adorning his head, with one horn having a golden band tightly wrapped around it, neatly folded wings that appear to be orange and golden and a long tail in the same colours, which could easily curl around the men surrounding him if Max had the will to.

His hands are also locked together, seeing as golden black claws have formed at the very tips of his fingers. He’s at the mercy of the king who has battle scars all over his body, so he knows how to fight Max to death if needed.

“Bring him here and let the people decide the ultimate fate of this man here,” he makes his grand speech, something Max hates him for. Harsh shoves are all he gets and with one final push, he reaches the king who grabs his arms harshly.

“This might be the last time we’ll ever see, Max,” he whispers with a faked sweet smile, “you just couldn’t wait to kill me in my own chambers, didn’t you?” Knowing the trap, Max stays silent and opts to glare at the man that ruined his once peaceful life.

“Hang the monster!” people start shouting out of nowhere and with a quick glance, he sees the only people he wished to never see again, who look so horrified that he can’t hold eye contact.

“Do you see the people you called brothers? Look back at them, they deserve one final look of the monster you actually are but hid from them all those years,” Lewis takes his head and forcefully turns it around towards Max’s little family.

Lando stands there, a newborn child in his arms and Daniel’s arms securely wrapped around him as if to shield him from whatever is about to come while Logan, his youngest brother, shakes in the arms of a dark-haired boy. His family had come to see him die, a cruel joke of life.

“Just hang me,” Max gives up and glares at the sick smile Lewis has. “Now, that wouldn’t be justified for the lives of my men you killed, would it?”

Despite his words, Lewis nods to the executioner who puts Max’s rope around the massive stake and tightens it, making sure the dragon-human wouldn’t slip through the noose. Not a second later, the wooden ground vanishes and Max’s body sacks towards the actual ground, his noose tightening even more and cutting off his airways.

He thinks he can hear his family cry out in horror while others scream in joy, all while Max closes his eyes and takes one deep breath.

Looking back, he realises how much of a good life he has had, living alone at first, with no parents there to raise him, he took in his brothers, caring and loving them like they were his own and protecting them, even though he would have to die.

However, just as he was about to die for good, a scream tears through the crowd and through his deadly haze, he makes out a child pushing through everyone, eyes wide in fear and a remarkable scar carving through his face.

A name comes to his mind but there is no way they actually let children come to such a gruesome event. Was it Willow or Kaiden who’s screaming?

#4433 #mawis #lewis/max #lewis hamilton/max verstappen #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #dark king au

[zoofles]

Life update but tw for drug talk/OD/drugging/abuse yada yada

Here’s Very very cute little thingy my partner crafted with emojis somehow to be a spacer. He is just a litl robot who is crushing hard on the virus glitching his all-ware (me. I’m the guy making him malfunction!!!!!💥)

anyway life update!! tw for drugging and overdose again! But me and my bf were drugged and experienced the worst bad trips ever. I OD’d completely and nearly died. I also now know I have POTS/a cardiac condition separate to POTS and DID (NOT schizophrenia…the voices who were my friends with lives and personalities were actually alters and I was front stuck 💪 also we do not call ourselves alters but HEADBITCHES! It’s just that alters is too medical or formal?? Idk we all friends). It’s great to finally know wtf is going on. lol. But anyway. I’ve been extraordinarily sick and WORSE since the drug incident.

Found out that not one, but TWO of the people I loved, trusted and gave my world to betrayed me, lied to me/covered up their lies to avoid consequences/accountability which hurt me SO deeply upon finding out on my OWN (yeah they didn’t even have the guts to tell me and just went on living and talking to me like they hadn’t backstabbed me) that I couldn’t even afford to grieve because I risked a heart attack from the stress, emotions and stabbing pain. Had to dissociate it away to process later. Maybe another 3 or so years will do the trick? No clue.

We’ve got the best little robo partner tho!!!!!!! 💥💥💥he’s helped us all through this. Plus Banjoh and everyone else are so supportive and there with me on these …discoveries. Being cheated on and lied to sucks! BEING DRUGGED SUXXXXX. Being so alone in discovering trauma/what truly happened to you sucks. Escaping abuse and hopelessness on your own because the people who promised to help you and convinced you to place all your bets on them before they bailed on you leaving you helpless, vulnerable, alone and betrayed sucks. My life so far has been nothing but misery. I nearly gave up multiple times because of how worthless i felt, because every time I tried to escape the misery I was cast further into it. Every day I felt discarded, replaced, worthless, a burden who people were relieved to abandon after years of pressuring me to open up and trust them, only to let me watch them grow happier with someone else. I felt like my situation, my pain and the abuse I endured was a heavy and disgusting mass on my shoulders, something nobody deserved to see or share or carry for me. I hid away. I even gave into the abuse at one point because life had taught me that even the people who promised to help me, wouldn’t. I couldn’t escape on my own. I was trapped, cornered by the careful thinking of my abusers. I needed help, but could no longer ask for it because life had taught me that only ended in blood and tears. Never trust anyone, no matter how hard they try to make you trust them, to rely on them, lean on them, love them with your whole heart…just don’t. They won’t feel anything when they decide to stop caring, when they realise you weren’t lying about being heavy with suffering. They won’t look back when they leave for someone more convenient, more comfortable, more …NOT you.

if it weren’t for the final, tiny, damp spark that was the words in my head saying ‘one last time…’ with my current partner. ..I wouldn’t be here. My life has been hardship after hardship. Physically, I’m chronically unwell and can’t live without constantly worrying about my extremely delicate health. It’s only gotten worse now with my heart. Mentally, my mind is fundamentally broken and formed differently to a healthy brain due to being tortured from 3 years old. Emotionally, I’m weak and fragile, I can barely handle simple stresses without falling apart. But god, even though shits gotten worse, at the same time it’s gotten better.

George, I know you’ll read this because you read everything I write. I know you’ll know what I’m talking about, that you’ll understand. I know you’ll look at me with the same eyes and lean in to hug me once you’re done reading.

In 2020, I nearly let myself die because I thought nothing else but death could free me from the heart ache and shattering emotional pain I felt physically every day. I decided to hang on because of shame, thinking I wasn’t worthy enough to kms.

In 2021 I got into an abusive relationship. I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually every day and I had no way out but to go back to my abusive home. I did go back, and I nearly died once more.

In 2022, I barely remember anything. The days blurred together and nothing felt real. It all felt like the grey mass had spread to my brain and made me dumb. I felt like static. A single, dull tone that rang on and on and never stopped. I was given a life saving surgery, I remember that. It stopped one of my chronic pains from destroying me for a temporary amount of time. The pain had been bedridden, crying out and vomiting in my sheets.

But then there was you. I remember the day so well…I was deleting every app I had that allowed me to meet new people. Dating apps, friends, all. I have never had any friends before, nobody real who actually loved me, or cared enough to stay beyond when I was being used for something. Nobody seemed to work out. I thought “I’ve used up my love, huh. That was my last chance, and it hurt so bad that I won’t ever be able to fall in love again. Even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted…someone to love, and someone to love me.” And with the last app before me I used up the last of my swipes before I was supposed to delete it and never try again. I was supposed to drift after that, drift and obey until I died…but you happened and ruined it all.

I only paused because your face felt familiar, I thought maybe I’d seen you once before. Maybe a “friend” knew you.

We started talking, and all of a sudden I felt a tiny smile crease my lips. That hadn’t happened since …

We spoke and spoke all night, relating our interests and goals. We met the next day, and all day I realised over and over again; you’re just like me. I don’t mean the similar surface level stuff like the fact that you liked to draw, or had characters you loved to think about, or you had games I knew of…I mean that you were like me. You almost gave up, you’d been tricked into loving people who only saw you as something to pass the time. Nobody you loved ever loved you the same way you did; even if they insisted they did. That when you said “I’ll never not love you, I won’t leave unless you want me to” to past lovers you MEANT it. You were damaged. You were broken apart and had given so much of yourself away and used up so much of your heart to just keep yourself alive that you weren’t sure if you were really alive anymore at all. All you wanted was love. Pure, kind and patient love. That when you look into the future you only ever wanted to see someone with you. You were alone but not by choice.

10 months later and here we are, sitting side by side, sleeping and keeping each other warm simply by blood and thoughts. I never thought I’d trust anyone ever again, nor love again…yet here we are. Every day we look at each other and think “I’m so glad I kept going. I’m so glad you understand. I’m so SORRY that you had to be wounded over and over so that your stolen flesh revealed your vulnerable insides to me…only so i could see you for who you are and recognise that we had the same heart. I love you, and I know you won’t leave until I leave, but that won’t happen. Because who in their right mind would EVER leave such a beautiful thing behind?”

I love you, thank you. And you are always welcome, welcome here with me.

#📺💚 #bias banter #vent

[misterbitches]

may i help you does grief so well and accurately but it hurts so bad i just burst out into tears because i miss my uncle so much and describing those feelings in ep 9 were so accurate. and the show lets people know how fucked up of a process grief is, how genuinely traumatic it can be and the guilt and fucking blame. especially if it’s sudden, when you made plans with this person but they’re just gone. and they’re never coming back again. you know the people involved in production have lost someone or are aware, on a personal level, of how possible it is and will be. because, and this sucks, it’s a natural part of life.  

all you want to do is see them again and you can’t and maybe you squandered your time with them on earth. relationships are so hard and there’s ebbs and flows and perfection is never near enough; if it’s good? it fucking hurts, but if  you were angry with them, or something shifted in your relationship, maybe a childhood friend it fucking hurts. but even when expected, with cancer (which can also come on suddenly), or fucking covid—that watching someone die is traumatizing, too.

at 21-25, when my grandfather and grandmother died, i didn’t consider myself an adult like i am now. they were old and sick and now, looking back, i dealt with my grandpa’s death hard but i didn’t think about it. my grandma wasn’t as hard, but it’s still hard thinking about why it wasn’t as hard for me and it probably was hard i just don’t know it (again) because they were such a big part of my life. but as a full-fledged adult nothing compares to the pain of losing my uncle. the awareness i have and those feelings are some of the worst feelings i have ever felt and i’ve been through some shit. 

so i cannot IMAGINE a child going through this. my mom lost her dad at 15, my cousins lost their father at 12 and 15. and the circumstances of someone’s death is also important. and honestly? you won’t know until you go through it just like you won’t know what it’s like to deal with cancer until you are dealing with it and that’s an experience that can’t be named or iterated clearly. 

i wish i knew for sure that god existed so at least i can know that the people we’ve lost are in true peace. death is eternal, final, but you’re still everywhere. also the fact that telling a boy he’s allowed to grieve and cry, ostensibly forever because, you know, his fucking dad is dead and losing a parent as a kid or adolescent is horrendous, is great since masculinity and patriarchy tell them they can’t. on top of the world thinking that grief is linear, that mourning you get over, instead of dealing with for the rest of your life.  which is crazy and why humanity is beautiful because we are all going to encounter death but we choose to love and live anyway even if it’s coming, even if we lose people. so it hurts like hell but we can keep going for them but mostly for ourselves because the people that loved you and left wouldn’t want you to not move forward. put your best foot forward. man i was trying to relax before working and answering my messages but i’m just sobbing!!!!!!!!!!

#a thot #hope you're happy up there #may i help you #one hundred won butler

[darksoulwizard]

LIVING IN THE MOMENT

One of the most memorable episodes of my school life was when I reached senior high school. My first day at school was such a day. It was the month of August 2022. I was the 16 years old. And I am still 16 years old right now. My family decided that I should enroll in face-to-face classes rather than an online class so I could interact with and communicate with other people instead of always staying at home.

After I finished enrolling myself, I waited for a few days for an announcement about which class I belonged to. A few days later, school starts. I felt nervous and could not think of anything else.

School is both stressful and fun. Almost everyone in this world has been or will go to school at some point in their lives.

One of the funniest episodes in my school life was when our teacher in practical research 1 asked us to introduced ourselves and choose one object that could describe ourselves. After my other classmates introduced themselves, it was one of our friend’s turns. She introduced herself and told the teacher that the object she chose to describe herself is a sunflower. And when our teacher asked for a reason why she liked sunflowers, she just answered that she just liked them.

One of the most dramatic episodes in my school life was when my classmate in 7th grade had an argument. It was really a heated argument, and they kept shouting at each other to the point that my other classmates needed to stop them. A few minutes later, they got exhausted from shouting but still didn’t stop arguing. And one of my classmates told my other classmates to stop them or they might faint. After my classmate said the word “faint”. My classmate, who is having argument, pretends to faint. I can say that he is pretending because when my other classmates pursued my other classmates to call a teacher, He stood up, like he didn’t pretend to faint.

One of the happiest episodes of my school life was the first time I heard her laugh. And when she moved into our class in the second semester, I was shocked. One of my best friends knows that I have a crush on her and keep teasing me about it. And the more they teased me, the more I fell in love with her. And I really like it when she calls me by my nickname.

One the saddest moments in my academic career was when she started distancing herself from me because I think she knows about the feelings I harbor for her. But I’m still thankful that she didn’t completely distance herself from me. But I’m still sad because she views me differently now. Before, we could go home together and play together, but now we hardly greet each other. And I can only see her properly every time she plays volleyball. Because she will never know that I am watching. Because I’m only watching her from far.

And also, one of the happiest moments in my academic career is when I am with my friends, or when I and my friends go to a lot of different place after school. I am really grateful to have met them and to have them as my friends.

The most annoying thing that happened to me in my school life was when someone touched my phone without permission and had the audacity to put a password on it. And every time I remember, or someone reminds me about what happened to my phone, I always hope that the person who put the password on it stumbles. And also, one of the most annoying things that happened was when we practiced our molecular dance. Because our choreographer is expecting too much from us and thinks that we could master the dance steps right away after they teach them to us. And letting us practice under the scorching heat of the sun and giving us a ridiculous reason that it can energize us, but instead I end up getting sick and can’t get up from bed for almost two days.

One of the most memorable episodes in my school life was when I was in 8th grade. I was not expecting that I would be ok at my section because I am a returnee.

I was not expecting to be happy and comfortable with the people around me. They are so friendly. I remember the second day of my school year when one of my classmates approached me, he asked my name, and told me that I was so funny yesterday. Then he asked me to join them at the back, and that day was so funny and memorable to me because I did an unexpected thing. We have our subject teacher telling to us what we need to bring or what book we need to buy for her subject, and me and my classmates got bored and had nothing to do, so I start the unexpected thing that I was talking about earlier so I licked my new school shoes because I cleaned them and wiped it using baby wipes and alcohol. then one of our classmates saw me licking my shoes, and she called other classmates to see what I was doing, and they started to laugh and make fun of me.

#student life #lifeblog #education