#I've also lost my story notes somewhere sos

[wordsafterhours]

Songs About You - Chapter 16

Author's Note: Hello all! Here is a short chapter, angsty and nothing but a filler. Next chapter, will actually be content to move the story along and give more of an expanded back story on Gav and Aed. We'll also see more quality time between our two favorite people :)

Word Count: 2.5k

Masterlist

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Yulemas had come and gone, as had all the decorations, sans the tree in her bedroom. Aelin found herself staring at it often, replaying the entirety of Yulemas over in her head on a continual loop. As promised, Fleetfoot’s ornament hung next to the heart of fire, its glaze making it gleam against the artificial light of the tree. She had tried to pack the tree away, several times, but couldn’t bare the idea of wrapping any of it up after not having seen it for so long.

The tips of her fingers glided over the dog miniature, grooves of whittled wood barely discernable against the pad. It astounded her that such large hands could have crafted something so detailed and small. It was beautiful and perfect and the most thoughtful gift she’d had in some time. The corners of her mouth tugged up—the ghost of a sentimental smile. “I’ll be back to admire you later,” she told the object, ignoring it was inanimate and didn’t care if she came or went.

It was just her today at the store, which required her to be punctual for the first time in weeks. Aelin had grown spoiled by Evangeline opening the store and was begrudging the fact that she couldn’t drink a cup of coffee on the back porch and read a chapter in her book before work. Well, she could have, but it would have required sacrificing sleep, and that wasn’t a preferable option. 

Mindlessly, she showered, then slipped into a dark-green, oversized sweater, and off-white corduroy pants. She braided her hair and wove the tails into a bun at the base of her skull using pearl tipped pins to hold it the arrangement in place. A few pieces of hair were tugged out to frame her face. Two quick swipes of mascara and Aelin deemed herself presentable enough to be out the door.

A light covering of frost dusted the windshield but not enough that it would delay her too long. Turning the vehicle on, she dug in the floorboards for the ice scraper amongst discarded receipts and croissant wrappers, before clearing the windshield. The drive into town was uneventful but beautiful, the Staghorns, lower valley, and Oakwald forest was still quite covered in snow. Terrasen was never more picturesque than in its winter glory. 

By the gods, there was a spot open right in front of the shop and Aelin pulled her vehicle into it, cutting the engine with a little smile. Usually, she parked at Lysandra’s or down the block, preferring not to have to deal with the main street traffic. The day wasn’t going to warm up much and the idea of walking after dark sounded unappealing. 

Like the Christmas tree still taking up residence in her room, twinkling lights and green garlands adorned the windows of Present Tense, which made her smile brightly every time she saw them. It wasn’t practical to leave them up much longer but with everything lately, the small joy was a novelty not worn yet. The smell of aged paper, leather, and spices reached her nose as Aelin pushed through the front door, flipping lights on as she went through the store. 

Mindlessly, she powered on the computer, put coffee to brew, and started a fire in the fireplace. The store would open soon and needed to be as inviting as possible in hopes of combating the post-holiday lull that it was in. It happened every year but there was always a small sliver of hope on her part that it wouldn’t. How could people not appreciate the written word every day of the year? 

Minutes faded into hours, and it was lunchtime, with not a single customer having come through the doors. Inventory, payroll, and needed ordering had been done. Bookcases dusted, wood oiled; Aelin had even made sure her under the desk spider was still happy and thriving.  Staring at the door waiting for someone to come in was quite literally inducing a headache. Popping two pain pills, she loosed a resigned sigh, plopping down in a worn, plush chair adjacent to the crackling fire. Others may not be reading today but the same would not be said for her. 

She was warm, almost unpleasantly, and a small neck twinge was beginning to register on the outermost fragments of her consciousness—It wasn’t enough to fully rouse her though and she burrowed back against the soft velvet. A featherlight touch traced the shell of her ear, accompanied by a warm, low chuckle. Reluctantly, Aelin cracked a lid, her turquoise and gold eye searching for the disruptor. 

“There she is,” he murmured with a small smile. 

“Hi,” she replied sleepily, sitting up and stretching her sleep-addled body. Involuntarily, she winced, the twinge in her neck more serious than it had felt half asleep. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, taking two quick steps in her direction. 

“Nothing, just stretched wrong is all.”

One silver brow raised, his face tight as his green eyes roved over her, trying to a discern the depth of her candor. Whatever he saw had him standing between her legs in an instant, peering down at her with perfected skepticism. “Turn around.”

“Rowan, I said I was fine.” The last thing she needed was his hands on her, blurring the line she was trying so hard to keep straight. Narrow. Uncrossed. Their track record was quite poor, but it was a new year for new beginnings, with eleven months to go.  

“You can’t even straighten your neck right. Your right eye keeps squinting when you move and you’re chewing the inside of your cheek.” Could nothing be secret from him? Aelin had been commended on her poker face, it was one of her greatest assets, and now when it was needed most, it was painfully absent. 

“I can live with a stiff neck, Ro,” she argued, leaning back against the chair and crossing her arms to strengthen her declination.

“Gods, you’re a literal pain in my ass,” he snarked. 

“I’m not trying to be.” 

Lies. Liar. Difficult was exactly the strategy Aelin was playing. If he was mad, then he wouldn’t want to help her and on the straight and narrow she could continue. 

“It’s a good thing I’m bigger than you, though.” His lilt was teasing, light, and his grin, as roguish as she’d ever seen it. Only half a word had made it passed her pink lips before being cut off by a loud squeal as dragged her from the chair and onto the plush rug beneath their feet. 

“Now, you can either keep lying flat of your back, pouting, or you can sit in front of the fire and let me work out the knot. I vote the latter but again, your choice.” 

She hadn’t seen him since their Yulemas festivities, and it suddenly dawned on her how much his presence had been missed. Despite the bothersome stiff neck and having been dragged from the chair like a child, her heart felt light in a way that couldn’t quite be placed. The corners of her mouth turning up into a genuine smile. 

“I’m going to hurt you if your antics messed up my hair.” It was an empty threat and the only response given to let him know he’d won. 

“Vain, as always,” he noted with a small shake of his head. Deftly, he maneuvered his large form to the ground, taking up residence behind her. It was fortunate that she was facing forward, if only to avoid his piercing gaze as her cheeks heated at the intimacy of their set up. An urge to lean back against him was ferociously clawing its way up her throat as each second ticked by. 

If only to redirect her own thoughts, Aelin moved one leg up and rested her chin atop her knee, idly playing with the soft carpet beneath her right hand. If Rowan didn’t make a move soon, the anticipation of it was going to result in her saying something stupid about how this whole thing was his idea. 

The touch of his hand was contradiction personified as he splayed it across her right shoulder, thumb digging in softly and firm all at once, working it into the muscle that paralleled her spine. The calloused fingers moved with awareness of her that they should not have possessed—his touch akin to that of a lover’s who had spent long hours tracing every square inch of fair skin until committed to memory. 

Notes of tangy iron filled her mouth, an unintended consequence of sinking her teeth into the soft flesh of her lip; a pitiful attempt at stifling how marvelous it all felt. Her head tipped sidewise, temple resting against her leg now, granting Rowan better access to the column of her neck. Strong fingers pressed beneath the hollow of her ear, steadfastly following muscle tract to just above her collar bone. Featherlight, he grazed the length of delicate bone before returning to his starting point, again dragging firmly down in the same pattern. Heat sept in, washing away tension like ocean tides did sand. 

A true glutton for punishment, Aelin tipped her head in the opposite direction, a silent signal for the male at her back to direct his focus elsewhere. With expert care, he massaged the muscles, working out the knots in much the same manner as before. An errant, small moan slipped out when Rowan’s fingers lazily dipped too far past her collar bone, barely missing the top of her breast. So much for that line she’d been towing. 

If he pushed it, there was no way her heart or body could say no, even with her head a screaming cacophony of objecting reasons. The ache low in her core and between her thighs had her shifting uncomfortably, trying to soothe even a fraction of it. The green sweater, a good idea this morning, was surely becoming a nuisance against her flushed skin. Crackling wood wasn’t enough to drown out the low, shaky breaths at her back, and if that wasn’t indication enough of his shaken façade, both hands were on her back, lower—a safe layer of knit separating them.

She hissed when he hit a particularly tender spot in the small above her back and it seemed to be the reprieve they both needed. The anxiety dissipated and breaths came easier. Moving forward, they could not afford to continue to end up in these situations. No one ever wanted to be the other girl, especially her, even if Lyria had made her feel less a person on multiple occasions. 

“I’ve got to sit down. I’m too old to keep this position,” Rowan admitted, sounding a little embarrassed at his admission. Soon, either side of her hips were cradled by legs as he stretched out. 

Like this was going to fucking help anything. “Ro.” 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, Aelin.” 

If she stayed put, did this make a her duplicitous in whatever ideology was governing him in to believing that this didn’t mean anything? Or should offense be what she should feel because perhaps none of it meant anything. It was easier to live with being a liar than being used by him.

Throwing her morals, standards, and protests to the wind, Aelin leaned fully back into him. 

As he had done her shoulders and back, his muscular hands began to massage her arms. The air became oppressive again, not with unspent sexual tension, but with the acute awareness that this situation was surpassing unbefitting friend behavior. Several times, her mouth opened and then promptly closed as she choked down unbidden questions. 

“Something you want to say?” he enquired quietly. 

“Why?” Succinct. Falsely unaware. Confident. 

“I can feel you get tense and relax and tense and relax. It’s obvious something is going through that head of yours.” His hand stilled except his thumb, which was drawing smooth circles against the underside of her wrist. 

“A thought for a thought?” The entirety of his frame stiffened, and a cool draft crept up her spine as he leaned back, an invisible but tangible wall falling into place. For as open as he seemed to be, or intrusive, the minute things were not on his terms, Rowan became impenetrable as opalescent stone buildings of downtown Orynth. 

Frustrated, Aelin started to scoot forward but halted when a relinquishing sigh guttered out behind her. White teeth pressed into her bottom lip, a poor attempt to stave off a satisfied, triumphant smirk. He gingerly grabbed her right hand, tugging her back against him. The tension was still there but had lessened a minutia. 

His hand dwarfed hers but in the best way. The worn planes and callouses of his hand lit by the fire glow were the only thing her turquoise eyes seemed to be able to focus on. Everything about this man drew her in, like a greedy moth to a flame. Silence hung between them, her waiting patiently for what Rowan would say. 

Or wouldn’t.

It could have been five minutes or thirty but soon what little patience lived in her body was dissipating. Expectantly, she turned to look up at him, eyes roving over his tight jaw and dark eyes. Whatever thoughts were running through his mind, she didn’t know but he looked quite truly a man at war with himself. Wisely, she kept her mouth shut.

His silver lashes were full, almost touching his cheeks as his gaze flicked down to her, briefly. “I’ve never had someone like you in my life, and I’m glad to call you my friend.” 

The answer was paltry at best. It felt as though he was saying anything but what truly occupying his thoughts. His refusal to look at her when it wasn’t normally an issue spoke more than he probably realized. A veiled half-truth wasn’t what she had intended when she asked him a thought for a thought. 

Aelin wanted to call him on his bullshit, to demand the same raw honesty he always demanded of her—that she always gave because anything less was unacceptable. 

But, again, she stayed silent, merely shifting in his lap to rest her ear against his chest, taking in the steady thump of his heart as it slowed. When it returned to what seemed like a normal rate, her own half-truth tumbled from her lips. “I’m glad to call you my friend, too.”

Friend. Friend tasted acrid and wrong on her tongue despite the sentiment being mostly candid. Friend was too small, too generic of a word for what was living within her chest. Amongst the pages of some forgotten book, she had read once that liked called to like. 

And that they were. Two halves of the same soul, cleaved apart long ago by the gods, left to search for another across time and space. It was the only plausible reason she could muster as to why he felt like home. In the very marrow of her bones, he had entombed himself. In any world, any life, Aelin would know him.

While she could not have him, not as she wanted in this reality, she would try her damnedest anyways. It didn’t matter what capacity he could afford her, Aelin would take it, hoarding their moments like a dragon with stolen crown jewels. 

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Tag List:

@lunadorned @theresyourfireandblood @backtobl4ck @leiawritesstories @morganofthewildfire @rowaelinismyotp @jorjy-jo @theresyourfireandblood @numbers-colors-fashion @swankii-art-teacher @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart  @stardelia @astra-ad-mare

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfiction #songs about you #throne of glass fic #aelin x rowan #slow burn #wordsafterhours #throne of glass au #short update #sorry I've forgotten how to write #I've also lost my story notes somewhere sos

[blindbeta]

So, I've been writing a blind character who cooks. So far, I've written him as being someone who relies a lot on routine and habit, who navigates the kitchen by touch and by memory. He's a bit rigid, and insists on using his own tools, which are color coded (he can see them up close with what residual vision he has) and marked with braille, but I was wondering what other tools a blind person might use when cooking.

A Bunch of Stuff For Blind People Who Want to Cook

I don’t know where and when your story takes place, so what is used might change depending on the character. Here are some options to get you started. There are many tools and techniques devoted to making cooking easier. I don’t know as much about the subject, so I’ll do my best. Please add any other ideas in the notes.

First, the creator @canseecantsee on YouTube and TikTok is an excellent resource. She has lots of videos showcasing how she cooks and does various daily tasks. She demonstrates the use of many tools, such as heat resistant gloves and high contrast items. Here is a video in which she demonstrates chopping vegetables.

Notice the high contrast items such as the yellow chopping board and purple knife. In the video, she demonstrates use of the towel or a place mat beneath the cutting board to prevent slipping. As she cuts a cucumber, tomatoes, and onions, she also uses a technique that allows her to feel the edge of the item so that she knows where she wants to cut and how thick the slices will be.

Here is a video by TheBlindLife showcasing his accessible kitchen. He has excellent points on the importance of contrast, from color contrast to shape contrast. The video includes

bump dots

labels

high contrast colors of tools

high contrast plates and bowls

talking scale and thermometer

heat resistant gloves

and alternatives for glass cups

High contrast is important and can be created by being mindful of the kind of countertops or tables used. For example, in the video, there is a triangular plate that is decorated like a pizza slice. Eating on this plate might cause food to get lost visually, especially food that has the same colors as the plate. Much like the plate, counters or tablecloths with busy patterns might cause items to be harder to see due to lack of contrast. Plain counters, tables, or tablecloths make items stand out more.

Additionally, creating contrast between surfaces and the items on them is helpful. The table is a dark wood? Light plates, bowls, and cups it is. The counter is plain white? The plates and bowls are a dark color.

For glass cups, the video offers solid, colorful plastic cups that offer better contrast. The fact that glasses are clear makes them even more of a challenge and colorful plastic alleviates that concern. However, if someone wants to use glass cups, they can use some that are either made with colorful glass or have color somewhere on them. This might help depending on the contrast and lighting.

In addition to memory, your character can also use labels and various markers. Sharpie, different colors and shapes, textural elements like bump dots, actual Braille or large print labels, tape, stickers, string, or ribbon. Label makers are great, but plenty of other options exist, particularly considering the aesthetic the kitchen has. He may also enjoy decorating this way since he has residual vision. Ribbons tied around containers of sugar, salt, and flour can be cute and functional.

A few other ideas after searching cooking stuff:

talking items, such as a blender, rice cooker, or microwave oven

marking speed on electric mixers or other devices

talking, high contrast, or large print timers

funnel or liquid level indicator

Braille or large print labeled measuring cups

individual bowls for portions, such as soup, rice, sauces, proteins, etc. Different shapes, sizes, or color could also indicate what food item typically goes in what bowl.

You can also come up with other ideas by thinking about what your character would use and how that might be done more easily. While I prefer characters use blindness techniques and assistive devices, people also naturally make things easier for themselves through organization and creating their own labels. A person who cooks might also be able to distinguish certain ingredients by smell or texture.

Another tip I have is to watch blind content creators on social media. Chances are, some of them show themselves cooking or discuss how they do it.

Lighting is also going to be a big deal. The kitchen will need good lighting, both overhead and under cabinets. Natural lighting is also great, although this is not as reliable or constant.

What he uses might also depend on various factors such as income; how often a character cooks; amount of available space; time period and setting; cultural practices around cooking, eating, and utensils used; access to the blind community; willingness to use assistive devices for blind people; any internalized ableism or ableism from family; and level of vision.

Hope that helps.

#blind #blind characters #writing blind characters #accessibility #disability #ableism #kitchen #cooking #accessible cooking #labeling #ask

[katamaricule]

What is dmbj? I've googled it but idk if it's one of those 'I love it and recommend it' shows or a 'I love it - pls never watch it <3' kinda show yk lol

Is there an answer somewhere in the middle? Because that's where it should go.

DMBJ is a franchise based on a set of novels by an author we'll call NPSS. These are mostly first-person tales narrated by a spoiled little dipshit named Wu Xie, as he and his friends go on tomb-raiding adventures, encounter supernatural obstacles, and learn about all the ways snakes don't work. The series has several giant holes in it, as NPSS tends to get bored and wander off mid-story. Several dramas and movies have tried to adapt various pieces of this gap-ridden, wholly unresolved saga, to varying degrees of success.

So to answer your question: There are installments of DMBJ that are a hoot that you should watch, and then there are installments of DMBJ that are also a hoot but you shouldn't watch before you have an affection for the franchise as a whole, and then there are installments of DMBJ that you should not watch even if you are a fan of the franchise because they are just not worth your time.

The problem is, not everybody agrees on what goes in which category. But if you're interested and want to give it a go, these are my personal takes on what's what, in chronological order of events as they happen in the series:

The Mystic Nine

Good starting place: Yeah, actually!

Requires prior knowledge: Nope

Actual ending: No resolution whatsoever

Wu Xie: He's not in this one

Best part: Charming characters you love or love to hate

Warning: Very cheaply produced, with cuts that render significant parts of the story incoherent

Worth watching: Yes, if you're willing to accept the jankiness

The Lost Tomb

Good starting place: Weirdly, no, considering that it's the first series they made

Requires prior knowledge: Not really

Actual ending: Oh, heavens no

Wu Xie: Cardboard twerp, kinda cute

Best part: There's ... some antics, I guess?

Warning: Makes some bizarre additions, condenses several books, just ... isn't very good

Worth watching: Not especially

The Lost Tomb 2

Good starting place: You could do worse

Requires prior knowledge: Some, but who knows if it helps?

Actual ending: Ha ha ha you're funny

Wu Xie: Breathtaking idiot twink street-parking a Maserati

Best part: Wu Xie and Pangzi are in love

Warning: Interminable bronze tree plotline, incomprehensible timeline especially at the ending

Worth watching: Sure, but bring a book for the long stretches

The Lost Tomb 2: Explore With the Note

Good starting place: It doesn't matter, because you're not going to watch this one

Requires prior knowledge: It can't save you

Actual ending: Nothing of the sort

Wu Xie: Shove that whiny nerd in a locker

Best part: There is no best part

Warning: Don't do this to yourself

Worth watching: What do you think

Ultimate Note

Good starting place: It seems like no at first, but it actually is!

Requires prior knowledge: It helps, but you can get by without it

Actual ending: Complete cliffhanger

Wu Xie: Precious muffin

Best part: Everyone is so cute, also heihua

Warning: Tonally way goofier than the other series

Worth watching: Yes! This one's so fun

Tomb of the Sea/Sand Sea

Good starting place: If you like things on Hard Mode

Requires prior knowledge: The main character doesn't have any, so why should you?

Actual ending: It thinks it does, but it's stupid and slapdash and leaves a million loose ends

Wu Xie: Mafia widow (also he's not the main character)

Best part: Seeing from the outside how fucked-up the whole Tomb Raiding Industrial Complex is

Warning: A hot mess, but occasionally a beautiful one

Worth watching: Yes, but maybe save it for later

Reunion: The Sound of the Providence

Good starting place: Shockingly, yes

Requires prior knowledge: No, though it recontextualizes everything once you know more

Actual ending: Yes! Holy shit! We got an ending here!

Wu Xie: Consumptive angel with a gun

Best part: Some truly impressive performances from Actual Actors, Wu Xie and Pangzi are married

Warning: Honestly, just watch this one first so you don't know what you're missing, because once you do, you can't unsee it

Worth watching: Definitely

I hope that ... helps? Or at least doesn't make your confusion worse?

#dmbj #lost tomb #lost tomb reboot #i made this

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for lying in my diary?

LONG story short, I found out last year my sibling, S, was going through my phone whenever I left it down somewhere, reading messages, going through private notes, and going through my tumblr and discord (both things they didn't know I had, and both places I was able to be my authentic queer self instead of closeted like irl) . I also found out they were reading my diaries. I've always had a few bc I find writing things out helps me sort my head. One was personal stuff, one was venting, one was story ideas, one was just rambling fr etc.

I was, obviously, devasted to learn this. Hurt. Betrayed. Confused. Lost. Angry. So I deleted my tumblr and discord, made new accounts, hid my phone, got sneaky. That was also sad for me but had to be done. After doing all that I realised S had been and was still reading my diaries. So I stopped writing in most of them when I could but if I absolutely needed to, I hid it well.

Or so I thought. I often came back to my diaries looking like someone had disturbed them/moved them and bc of where they were hidden, I knew it was no accident. Someone had been reading them. Obviously S. I moved them again and again but to the same result. S found them and read them.

Nothing I do stops S. They have no respect for my privacy. Bc of the secrets I keep (my identity, my thoughts, crushes) I can't confront them without fearing they'll out me and reveal things to others. They write fanfictions and I accidentally found one of their works and some things in it were MY LIFE. it's sickening.

So Im planning a new trick. I have a diary I never got to use properly, and I'm thinking of lying in it. Making up relationships, drama, crushes, actions, anything I can think of. Fake deep thoughts, fake love and hate, fake problems. I think it'll throw them off if they find it, and they won't keep looking for a real one (they've found and read my most recent a week ago so I have to start AGAIN).

But I hate lies and deceit and a part of me feels like it's wrong? Or maybe I'm overreacting? Would love some thoughts on this ty

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[morethansky]

***TBB FINALE SPOILERS***

"The Cavalry Has Arrived" aka MY OTP IS CANON NOW

A truly absurd amount of meta and thoughts and screaming under the cut:

Overall

• I...loved it????? This is the biggest plot twist of all for me. Like I've said incessantly, I've had so many issues with the writing choices for this show, and I'm so grateful the brainrot set in so I could start watching it through a fandom lens and have way more fun with it than through a media critic lens and being a hater. But like...that was actually really satisfying to me within the parameters of where the show had led to in the last four episodes??

• As everyone on the planet probably knows by now, I would've been much happier if this show had led to the Batch choosing to do the right thing and joining the clone resistance, and if we never get another clone series, I will continue to be unbearable and salty about the lost potential of telling that story. But after Echo left and we stopped following his story, I gave that hope up. And ofc nothing about my criticism of this season is invalidated. But given the pieces on the board, I'd pretty wholeheartedly give the finale my stamp of approval!

• I'm ultimately glad that this show ended on a "We don't leave our own behind" note, because that's the clone energy and general Star Wars energy I'm looking for, and they did a great job of applying that theme to every non-villain in this episode, minor and unnamed characters included—but it's still so darkly funny for them to have continued to push this idea even though the first season is literally about them leaving their own behind and moving on. And then Crosshair calls them out on it. And then he just...leaves himself behind. Even in their first appearance in TCW, the Batch's entire vibe is that they keep trying to convince Rex to leave his own behind lmao. I just feel like the show wanted this adage to tie everything together, but then forgot to keep applying it somewhere along the way. But hurrah for this abundant use of it!

• My overall biggest criticism was that even within this one episode we got back on the rescue/captured/rescue/captured treadmill. It's the biggest plot crutch of the show. It's so goofy that Omega and Echo rescued both the children and the imprisoned clones by themselves. The setup made it so that by going to rescue Omega, Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair actually put her in more danger. And because they were there, more clones died, wtf!! But I do like the narrative flip—Echo and Omega were both saved by the Batch in their introductions in this era, and here are they are being the ones to save them in return. Omega and Echo also are the characters in the main cast who deserve the rescuer plotline the most, since they have been consistently portrayed as helping those in need no matter what.

• Hilariously, one of the most pivotal roles that the Forest Trio plays in regards to the GFFA at large is that they were essentially Rampart's rideshare drivers, thus enabling him to be there and force Nala Se not to hesitate to destroy Project Necromancer.

Rampart and Nala Se

• Hemlock saying his work makes him indispensable is fantastic dialogue; it just seems like some dickish thing he would say to shit on Rampart, but it ends up giving Rampart the idea to try to leverage his work to become indispensable himself, and in saying that line, Hemlock ushers his own ruin!!! This is the kind of script work I've been begging for.

• Also I was so right about Rampart being like a Kallus foil! That infamous shot of him in his sad, sterile room after Bahryn is mirrored here with Rampart sitting in pretty much the same position, except his path is the opposite from Kallus's.

• They did an EXCELLENT job with Rampart's fate. I was worried they were neutering him these last couple eps, even if the comedy was gold, but this was very well done. Everything that happens leading up to his death makes complete sense for his character, and it accomplishes the very key plot point of destroying Tantiss. At the start of the season I couldn't figure out how and why the Batch was going to end up delaying Project Necromancer for like thirty years, so I feel validated that they pretty much don't. Very typical of this show to not have the protagonists do the heroic work, but fuck it, I like this instance.

• The humanizing of Nala Se in this show has always been a bit of an interesting choice given that this is feels like such a direct successor to TCW and she was so clearly a villain there. But although they don't quite redeem her, her motivations and her fate were also artfully executed here. Her conversation with Omega pretty much takes into account every Nala Se scene in this show, which is a great way to wrap her character up. And I really like the mirror of Nala Se giving Omega her datapad in the season premiere, and Omega giving Nala Se a datapad here. Both times, Nala Se is determined to set Omega free.

• And I'm so glad there was a follow-up to the destruction of Kamino as well! Nala Se getting a bit of revenge against one of the beings responsible for the genocide of her people and destruction of her homeworld is not something I expected at all, and I love it. And the setup of Nala Se picking up the detonator and Rampart picking up the blaster is just fantastic, because you know from just those two shots that Rampart is willing to kill to gain Palpatine's favor for himself, and Nala Se is willing to die to make sure the being she loves will be free.

Echo and Omega supremacy

• Give me an Echo-led rebel show where he convinces all sorts of people in the Empire and the underworld to defect/help them, please!!! He's so good at it, completing Emerie's turn so efficiently! We have to assume Rex is also good at it given his cell and that he has clone spies and even undercover agents, but every time he sees Hunter he has tried and failed to recruit him lmao. Also REX'S NAMEDROP but him not showing up surely means...we'll see a continuation of his story soon after this...right??? Also this means Howzer still lives, oh, thank god.

• "Because it's exactly what I would do." Strategist Echo comeback yessss!! A nice little callback to the Techno Union arc that kicked this story off as well. And HELL YEAH Omega's relationship with Echo is my favorite out of all of her connections, and I'm living for their spotlight together this ep. I'm extremely invested in found family stories not relying on nuclear family narratives, and I love that you see throughout the show that Echo doesn't "raise" Omega like a kid—he trains her like a cadet. Like someone who he intends to be his equal, which is a nice and very appreciated contrast to others treating her like a precious sheltered baby.

• Their goodbye scene in "Truth and Consequences" is one of my favorites in the show, and I just adore that when Omega is upset, Echo doesn't coddle her—he reminds her of her duty to watch over the others, giving her a purpose and a reason to stand tall. When he conveys that he was worried about her and thinking of her while she was captured, he gifts her a weapon he designed and made for her during that time, so that she won't have to be defenseless after being defenseless for so long in captivity. It's so clone trooper, and I love it and the glimpses these details give us about clone culture and how the older clones cared for the shinies and the cadets and showed their love for each other.

• I also liked that Omega couldn't have escaped without Tech's training, since slicing was so vital. And all her stealthy stabbing is of course reminiscent of Hunter. And finally some emotional payoff for the ongoing bit about Wrecker being afraid of heights! I'm weak for inspirational Star Wars quotes, and this show hasn't had many, but "Just stay focused on what's ahead, not what's below," is a lovely one.

Forest conversations, my beloved

• The Kiners scored the fuck out of this episode!!! So many clever, thoughtful reprises. This is the first reappearance of Crosshair's theme that's played on the synths since he began healing! And then it segues into a soft violin tremolo version that makes me cry, and then it intertwines with "The Sacrifice" from Tech's death, ouchhhh. I have a lot of meta I need to write out about the tracks "The Reunion" and "They Always Work It Out" and how they say so much about Hunter and Crosshair, but I can't believe how well my analysis paid off in the cues in this scene! More on that in another post.

• Gosh, Wrecker's injury scared the shit out of me. But I love him so much and I'm glad he got at least a little moment, even if he didn't really have a story arc here. Or you know, in the entire damn show. And I ultimately liked that the purpose of it wasn't just to freak us out but to give them a plausible disadvantage and to give Crosshair someone to fuss over the whole time and act more recklessly because of it, thus reiterating this key character trait of his.

• I love Crosshair being worried about Wrecker and Hunter and them being worried about Crosshair. That's the squad content I crave and have been missing!! Unfortunate that it specifically has been happening when Omega is out of the picture. Writers, I swear to you, you can do both.

• Can't believe it took another half season for someone to say something about Tech's death, and it was Crosshair, who wasn't even there?? Cool line and sentiment, but man, so frustrating. I like this callback to his conversation with Rampart, though. "Depends on who's giving them" and in this first act he keeps trying to give those orders himself. Thinking of Rex on Umbara: "We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions."

• God the forest conversations in this ep and the previous one fed me so much. Hunter saying, "And so do those clones" had me literally jumping out of my seat and cheering. Baby boy, it took you so goddamn long, but thank you for finally actually giving a shit before the conclusion of your story. And "It's what I deserve," hnghhh that's the good shit, and it hearkens back perfectly to "I belong in here." And Hunter immediately telling Crosshair hell no made me very happy. And then later Hunter saying "Crosshair—" when he's worried Crosshair is still going to sacrifice himself, but Crosshair reassures him that he'll be right behind them... My heart! What a Crosshunt feast we got in this ep!!!

• Can't believe we also got so many Crosswrecker moments from the get-go and they kept coming! And my three precious little Techwrecker crumbs: the way Crosshair specifically chooses Wrecker to say the cutting remark about Tech to; the way Wrecker bows his head because that was right on target; and Wrecker being the one to watch Tech fall and to scream, "Don't do it, Tech!" in "Plan 99" yet the one to say with such conviction here, "We've always known the risks. And so did Tech." That's just so...finally accepting your beloved is gone ;_; Not really deserved by the text, which kept all but a total of like maybe one total minute of mourning off screen for some fucking reason, but.

Clone X, more like Clone Sexy

• There aren't nearly as many Clone X dudes as I expected?? I guess Crosshair's situation wasn't that rare after all? Or do they just run through them super quickly because Rex's team keeps taking them down?? Regardless, god, THEY ARE ALL SO SEXY. The way they animated their movements was so creepy and hot. And them not speaking was so eerie, I loved it. And then the moment that CX-2 did was so effective and terrifying!!! But remembering that those were clones in there is so, so heartbreaking.

• I really like that Echo really felt like both a clone trooper AND the resistance agent he is now this whole episode, and Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair actually briefly got to feel like commandos. The slick stealth and silent communication was also very sexy.

• MY GOD, I loved these action scenes. They were lit and choreographed so cool, they were super intense and had real consequences and close brushes with death, and the logic of the fight flow was really good, too. A character being incapacitated because they went to try to help an ally is always a wonderful driving force for action and gives it that crucial character-driven element that raises the stakes, and is great for making sure the main characters aren't too OP, and there was a ton of that here.

• Hunter and Wrecker getting shot by laser cannons and Hunter pushing Wrecker away from the blast made me shriek in terror AND THEN CROSSHAIR SHOOTING THE PILOT DEAD ON NO HESITATION NO ANXIETY NO TREMOR BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU HURT MY HUSBAND I'M FUCKING LIVINGGG. And then Wrecker stumbling over to Hunter and lifting the debris like he does in TCW. Boom, three pivotal character-driven action scenes in a row that divulge a key characteristic of each character! Excellently written and directed.

• Also I am SO SO SO HAPPY that we're getting to see this protective Crosshair come out in full force!!! This is the Crosshair who risked his life to try to save Mayday, who shouted hysterically when Hunter fell into the ice and was so desperate to get him out, who worried over Omega on Teth. I also really like this contrast with how he was about Echo—"Echo's on it." He knows Echo will get the job done and be safe and that's despite his former prejudice against regs. He's worried about Hunter and Wrecker and that's despite previously spending time trying to hunt them down. And when he suffers consequences, it's because of him worrying about them, and that's so delicious.

• Finally got to hear Crosshair screaming! And Hunter was already the screamer in this show, but goddamn does he get to scream in this episode. Thank you, directors, for this whump material! My man Steward Lee never lets me down.

• THE WAY THAT WHEN CROSSHAIR IS TRYING TO SAVE WRECKER HE REACHES FOR A DC-17 OMG!!!! I feel so validated! And just like with Mayday, he's incapacitated afterward...

• God the way CX-2 waits to be tossed the vibrosword and then leans down with it while Crosshair is already incapacitated is SO brutal, like this is not a battle injury. It's straight up what Anakin fucking Skywalker does to Count Dooku just before he becomes a Sith Lord, like holy shit, dude. This scene is so cool and I've watched it 10,000 times over the past 24 hours, but also why did he do that lol, is he just supposed to be particularly cruel?? Obsessed with tormenting Crosshair for some reason?? Also, these vibroswords are exactly how I've pictured Ahsoka's being in A Future for Us :D

• At this point I was like, uhhh, the messaging of Crosshair struggling with this psychomatic hand tremor since the first episode of the season and then the symptom literally being taken out of his........hands sure is a Choice, especially coupled with how they've treated Echo (or you know, not). When they showed him still with the symptoms later, I was very relieved, AND THEN HUNTER LITERALLY CURES CROSSHAIR THROUGH THE POWER OF THE LOVE AND FAITH AND TRUST HE HAS FOR HIM IS THERE ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL IN THE WORLD???? But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Echo is the GOAT

• "You were helping us, Dr. Karr?" / "I am." I love this subtle line and how Emerie acknowledges that she wasn't sure of her loyalties before but is certain now. And I love that she says such a clone trooper thing, "You have my word," and then doing the clone shoulder pat, especially in direct contrast to the natborn kids hugging Omega just before.

• "Hey, kids. ...And other kids." is just so fucking 501st, I can't explain it. I'm just so ecstatic that they did Echo such justice in the end, giving a nod to everything about his character, even his dorkass cadet personality. And it wasn't just so he could die, thank god!!!

• Like Echo even got a DARTH VADER homage??? That's his mass-murdering general (affectionate). More on this here!

• Also is there anything more Big Dick Energy in the world than Echo eviscerating Rampart—who either the clones would recognize as a former vice admiral or at least see his captain rank plaque—with what may not be a theme this show really earned but is ABSOLUTELY a theme that Echo deserves and has shouldered for over two seasons...and then just straight up shoving him out of the way so that he can talk to his brothers???? And with his stormtrooper helmet—which is like Echo refusing to dirty his hands (including his new, long-awaited one) by touching Rampart oh my god??? Sexiest man alive.

• So the answer is no, there isn't. Fives is hollering from the afterlife. Half those clones immediately developed a crush on him in that moment. That one clone later placing a blaster in Echo's arms so gently confirmed this for me (remember the symbolism of Echo making the energy crossbow for Omega? He even gives her his borrowed blaster in this scene), but it's so sad that he died because of it, whyyy.

• Also I love the "Clones don't leave our brothers behind" riff on the "We don't leave our own behind" adage. It's very fitting that Hunter would put it that way because he only means his squad (+/-1), whereas Echo would see it as meaning his people.

• And I love how when Rampart first shoves Echo, the clone in front that Echo's been talking to prickles and makes brief eye contact with him, to be like, "Should we take him? I've got your back." I felt that girls (gender neutral) in the bathroom energy so hard.

• The clones helping each other out of their cells made me so emotional. And it's the same way that Hunter and Crosshair do later...

• Echo asking for volunteers, just like Rex did on Umbara..................

• I think this post is breaking and I'm still only two-thirds of the way through my rewatch, oops. And yesterday I stayed up until 8 a.m. after I put it on again after watching it for the first time... I'm so normal about this show. More tomorrow!

• Part 2!

#the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #this ended up being 3k of me gushing about echo sorry not sorry #love of my life #amph talks #the bad batch #star wars

[nihilnovisubsole]

i think i followed you Back In The Day, seven years and seven blogs ago, for something related to mass effect (zaeed? maybe? who could say) and it's wild to come back to this site years later and find you thriving, surviving, growing-- playing ffxiv! love that game. curious how you'll feel about some side characters in shadowbringers, but i won't spoil which ones.

i do have real questions, though; writing tools. not pens or software, but personal structure tools and/or guidance. what does a beat sheet look like, for you? do you have a favored way of outlining or note-taking on your own thoughts when putting a story together?

and... i'm really curious how you hold a big story together in your head while you work on it in pieces, especially for something like dangerous crowns. there's this larger story i've been chasing around for a while, and I can't quite wrap my head around how to write the political/espionage plot for it without feeling like i've actually written a children's pantomime. the best i've got so far is "research real life events and use those as my outline" but after a point it becomes hard to keep track of all the variables of who knows what about whom, who is planning x when y, etc, etc. the characters don't need to know all that-- and may never know some things-- but i feel like /I/ need to understand what's happening on the macro level so i can move the world around them appropriately.

short version: how do YOU wrap your head around writing complex plots?

hey, anon! i started endwalker this week after a long... uh... glamour detour, so don't worry about spoiling things. i spoil myself for a lot of stories on purpose anyway. let's just say i've been attached to one too many characters who got killed.

anyway. writing. i've always handled plots the same way: clear documentation. if i don't note it down, i'm not going to remember it. i've used the same table outline since around 2014. it varies in detail for different projects, but the core format stays. i know it's kicking around in my blog archive somewhere, but it's worth reposting once in a while because people like to ask about it. here's what it looks like, featuring plot points cribbed from an endeavour episode:

i used this format for an outline at work a while back, and the team found it easy to follow, which was a big day for my ego. keeping track of plot structure is even more chaotic at work because we have multiple writers who all need to stay on the same page. we have very meticulous notes on what the player should know at which point, when we're introducing new information, and what we know, but shouldn't tell. we're also not above leaving notes like "this character has to convey X," "this character has to learn Y here," or "this is a clue that they're planning Z." it can be super on-the-nose. all that matters is that it makes sense to you. because you're right - if you get too lost, you can write yourself into logic holes of tremendous proportions. ask me how i know!

[as a sidenote, researching real-life events as a starting point has really grown on me in the past few years. my lead on coh3 had me do it. he said we were dealing with real people's history, so we couldn't be cheap or play fastball - we had to be accurate to pay it respect. even if you're not writing historical fiction, it just gives you insight into how people behave.]

i would argue that the plot of dangerous crowns is actually not that complicated, maybe to its detriment. there's kind of a genre struggle going on. at voltage, we were taught romance fans came for the relationship beats and valued them above all else. in fact, leadership told us players got irritated - which meant less sales - when the plot was too complex and took time away from the making out. political thriller fans, by contrast, expect relentless twists, high stakes, and harsh consequences, and sometimes see the relationships as superfluous.

but whatever. the point is, when you look at dangerous crowns' structure, it's a pearl necklace: a chain of anchoring events. the "pearl" scenes are where Big Plot happens. they're the reason you want to write the story, and probably the ones you have the most vivid daydreams about. the scenes in between are the string. not flashy, but important because they connect the pearls. they build tension and add logic, cohesion, and context. take the opera and hector's failed assassination. those are pearl scenes. that's a burst of drama i really wanted the story to build up to. i also had other flashbulb visions. livia by the fountain questioning herself, marcus' macbeth moment, the temple riot, things like that. so the question was, how could i believably travel between these pearl scenes? how could i make these big showcase moments connect smoothly?

if you're having trouble holding the story together in your head, i would ask, "what are your pearls?" what are the anchor points? outline those. it might not look like a necklace yet, but you'll sort of see it taking shape. and then, once you can see where your heart's-desire milestones are, you'll have a clearer idea of what can't fire until you set it up first. two other neat things can happen here. you could find the rhythm of your pacing, or realize you have a lot more plot meat than you thought you did. even if you don't, you have some road. and if you can't think of the string, sometimes you just have to start writing the pearls and see what comes to you.

good luck!!

#asks #anon #writing #long post

[muchbetterthanjimmy]

I've never posted before, but I'm going absolutely mental.

[SPOILERS FOR DIMENSION 20's FANTASY HIGH: JUNIOR YEAR]

So, first of all, stellar ep as usual, but for the last 6-ish hours something has been bugging me, and it just hit me like a tray of shrimp.

BLeeM sometimes references real-world things/places in campaigns, but for some reason that Turkey/Türkiye reference seemed Weird to me, not in the way that there's anything wrong, but it just seemed weirdly specific and random for what it was.

And then I realised. Ankarna (the dead deity's name) is very close to Ankara, the capital of Türkiye, which isn't that strange on it's own, but how close it happened from the Türkiye mention to then the name reveal--it was a thread. So, I pulled it.

Ankara (The Anchor)

Ankara (and Türkiye) has a long, rich, complicated history. Long story short-ish, the Greeks took it from the Persians, Galatians took it from the Greeks, and then the Roman Empire rolled in. And then some more shit happened, but that's not the point of this post. Right now, I just want to look at the name--specifically, its name in Classical Greek and Latin.

In Classical Greek, it was called Áγκυρα (Ánkyra), which ἄγκῡρα means 'anchor' or 'support'. In Modern Greek, 'anchor' is άγχυρα, which is sort of similar sound-wise, but not as close as in Classical Greek.

When it was part of the Roman province Galatia, the city was known as Ancӯra in Latin, again close to ancora (Latin for 'anchor').

[Unrelated side note for nerds, but the Latin angor sounds similar to anger, but it's a false cognate. It means suffocation, but also, in a figurative sense, anguish. And I think that's neat!]

Bakur & Ruvina

Because of the Ankarna realisation, I looked into Bakur and Ruvina's names, just to see if there was anything there.

Bakur supposedly means 'north' in Kurmanji/Northern Kurdish--if you trust Google Translate. Another Türkiye connection, Kurdish can be found spoken in parts of it. There may also be a connection in Arabic to 'copper', but I don't speak Kurdish or Arabic, so I couldn't tell you. Take my loosely researched info at your own risk!

Ruvina possibly means 'ruin' in Corsican. There's also results on various baby name sights for a connection to 'sun' or 'sunny, bright', possibly from Hindi, but I'm just a sad little nerd who doesn't speak Hindi, so again, I can neither confirm nor deny accuracy.

Also, just for fun, I ran Ankarna through Google Translate as well, and it came back detecting Swedish, supposedly meaning 'the anchors' which is interesting.

I wasn't able to clock what accent Nara has, nor do I know any Swedish people, but it sounded like she might be 'vague Nordic'. I may be way off, though. Also, again, I have no idea how accurate Google Translate Swedish is, but at the very least, the meaning lines up with the Latin and Classical Greek.

Why Does This Even Matter?

We've seen that gods can change based on those who support and believe in them, in addition to other factors. Maybe Ankarna lost or gave her followers to Ruvina/gave up her domain because Sol/Helio were looking to expand. Cassandra seems to be in their corrupted state again, so maybe the Bad Kids are able to bring Ankarna out of theirs as well. I have no clue. This is less of a theory and more of a 'Hey, my brain works like shit, but I recognize that from somewhere--Oh!' and now it's back to memory soup for anything that happened more than 5 minutes ago. So, passing the torch to someone who has a better memory than me: in the episodes we've seen so far, is there anything here worthwhile? Am I just a nerd? Ask again later, signs point to yes.

I just think it's interesting to possibly have the deity's name mean 'anchor' in a campaign where everyone is kind of off the rails/burnt out, but trying to hold on for dear life and succeed in order to keep everything they care about safe. Especially if we're taking it to mean the less common, more religious 'support' meaning. A deity that grounds, anchors, holds steady. Order to the chaos.

Cassandra is the deity of Mystery and the Unknown (shoutout to the Willy Wonka Experience), and it would be interesting if her spouse was that of Clarity and the Known. Not oppressive structure, but support, grounding. Not to quote Kristen's parents (ew), but there are some things we do know.

I'm truly excited to see where the rest of this season goes. The effort that the Dropout and Dimension 20 team put into every season and show is absolutely incredible and such a joy to be able to watch. They're such a lovely group of creatives and forces of positive action in the world.

ALSO WHY ARE THEY 24 POINT STARS? What's the significance???? 24 hours in a day??? 12 months? Some smaller variation but it's just the spikes go in all directions???? Why 24??? WHY 24??????

Note: Using Türkiye because the country officially changed it's name from Turkey back to it's Turkish name Türkiye, and a lot of people are not aware--which is fair because this is a big world with a lot going on all of the time--but it's important to respect that change!

#dimension 20 #d20 #d20 spoilers #d20 fhjy #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #kristen applebees #gorgug thistlespring #fig faeth #aelwyn abernant #tracker o'shaughnessey #brennan lee mulligan #dropout #i am crazy but i am free

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 3

Author's note: A little clarification about the previous chapter since someone commented it on Wattpad. What happened between Val and Pedri when he visited her was all consensual. In all my stories I always try to make it clear, but sometimes I may not manage to write down what I have in my head or it gets lost in translation. Also, for future chapters. Teasing each other is like their love language, so when they do it, they aren't actually being mean. It's just their way of saying I love you 😁 Hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you to everyone who has been reading so far! 💜

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"That room over there is my brother's, and those are guest rooms for when my parents or my friends come to stay. But the best room is this one" Pedri smiles. "Not because it is mine, the woman who showed me the house said so."

"Sure" I chuckle.

"She did. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

"Welcome to my room, my lady" he says before opening the door. "I know it is a bit messy, but I didn't want it to make it look perfect because that isn't me, you know? And this weekend I want you to get to know me, not the football star."

"Since when are you a football star?" I ask with a teasing smile.

"Ha ha ha. You are so funny, Val" he says, rolling his eyes. 

"I know" I smile. "But I like it. I actually like the whole house. I've seen others this big and modern and they look so cold and empty with just a sofa and a tv in a corner and an untouched kitchen… But yours looks like a place where there are people living. And it's messy, yes. But it is an organized mess."

"I wouldn't have described it better" he laughs. "Do you want to check the view? That's the reason why this room is the best one."

"Please."

"Then after you, my lady" Pedri says, opening the balcony's door.

"Thank you" I giggle. My God, why did I giggle? He just opened a door for me! "Oh, wow" I gasp as I walk outside.

"It is the best, isn't it?"

"It's beautiful" I say as I lean on the railing and look around in awe, the sun setting in front of me. 

"It has never looked as beautiful as it does right now, tho."

"Pedri!" I laugh, turning around to look at him.

"It is what it is" he shrugs. He's leaning against the balcony's door frame, his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile on his lips. He had never looked so… So...Ok , I'm gonna say it. So boyfriend. 

"It was cheesy" I giggle again, feeling my cheeks get warmer and warmer and my stomach do funny things while he just looks at me, making me feel as if I'm 15 again and my crush has finally acknowledged me. 

Dear lord, he is turning me into a teenager. 

"It was the truth" he says before walking towards me, my heart skipping a beat when I feel one of his hands cupping my face, the other on my low back, pulling me closer towards him before kissing me.

But it isn't a kiss like the ones we've shared before. It is soft, gentle, slow. And it is making me melt under his touch, making my body relax and forget about anything else. It's just him and I, his lips on mine, his hands on my body, the feeling of his heart beating against my chest. 

And it keeps being like that as he walks me back into the room, when he lays me down on the bed, when he takes off my clothes and leaves kisses all over my body, when I feel him inside me. There is no rush, no need to make it to the end like happened yesterday. It's just us moving at the same rhythm, enjoying every second, every touch, every kiss. And it's perfect.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val, we are gonna be late. What are you doing?" 

"I can't find my phone. A moment ago I was texting Silvia and now it's gone."

"If it was under the bed don't you think you would have heard it fall?" Pedri chuckles.

"Maybe? I don't know. Can you call me to see if it's here somewhere?" I say, getting up.

"Val…"

"Wait, no. Don't call me, I have it on vibration. Though that makes noise, so if we are quiet…"

"Val…"

"Or maybe it is in the bathroom? I went there to check if I was leaving something behind and…"

"Valeria!"

"I know you don't want to be late, but there is no need to yell, Pedro."

"Have you checked your pockets?" 

"My pockets?"

"On your jeans. Have you checked them?"

"There is nothing there."

"Back pockets" he sighs.

"What… fuck" I say when I feel my phone on one of them. 

"It happens to the best of us" he laughs. "Now can we please go?"

"Yes, of course. We don't want Xavi to get mad at you, do we? He may not choose you for the starting eleven and… Do you want to cuddle?"

"What?" Pedri laughs again.

"Come, let's cuddle for a bit" I say, sitting on the bed and extending my arms towards him.

"Val, that's cheating."

"I don't know what you are talking about" I shrug.

"Of course not" he smirks. "Let's go."

"Wait, no… Pedri!" I complain when he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

"You wanted to cuddle, right? This is a new way of doing it" he says, slapping my butt while we leave the room.

"You better not fall down the stairs."

"I wouldn't dare" he replies, this time pinching me, laughing when I try to hit him and miss. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You know where to meet after the game, right?"

"I do, Pedri" I say while checking that I have everything I may need in my purse.

"If you get lost or something…"

"I'll call you, don't worry."

"You better. And are you sure you don't want me to drive you a bit closer to the stadium?"

"I'm sure. I don't want someone recognizing you, taking a photo of us together, and end up all over the internet."

"Neither do I, to be honest" he sighs. "Anyway, before you leave… Can I get a good luck kiss?" he pouts.

"What about one that says I hope you have a good game but that your team loses?" I smile.

"I don't like how that sounds."

"Leave it or take it" I shrug.

"Ok, fine" he sighs. "You merengones are so mean."

"Oh, shut up" I say, grabbing him by his t-shirt and pulling him towards me before kissing him. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm telling you that's her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Let's go say hello."

"Ok. But try not to say anything stupid or he'll get mad."

"I won't, Gavi. Relax. Hello!" 

"Hi" I say to the two guys walking towards me.

"You are Pedri's friend, right? Valeria."

"Yep."

"I'm Ferran, and this is Gavi. Though you probably already know."

"I recognized Gavi, but you…"

"Bro" Gavi laughs.

"She's messing with you" Pedri says behind them.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Yesterday I made you check everyone's name and photo so you would know who is who during the game."

"It didn't work" I shrug. 

"Then do you know who I am or not?" Ferran asks.

"I do, I was just teasing you" I smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to finally meet you too!"

"Finally?"

"Our boy here hasn't stopped talking about you since the day he met you" Ferran says, putting his arm around Pedri's shoulders. "I don't blame him, tho."

"He's completely smitten" Gavi chuckles.

"Shut up" Pedri says, getting free of Ferran's grip and moving to stand next to me, his cheeks a bright shade of pink. He's blushing. Cute. Wait, what?

"Oh, don't get mad, Pepi."

"Pepi? What kind of name is that?" I laugh.

"That's how his fans call him" Ferran smiles.

"Why would they call you that? Pedri didn't sound stupid enough?"

"Oh my God" Gavi gasps.

"You weren't joking when you said she's savage" Ferran laughs.

"Yeah, well, whatever. We should get going, Val. You have an early morning tomorrow" Pedri says, trying to end the conversation.

"I actually do, yes" I say, noticing how uncomfortable he is feeling.

"We have to meet another day, then. Maybe for lunch or dinner?" Ferran says.

"Yes, sure" I smile. "It was nice meeting you, guys."

"You too, Val" Ferran says, taking my hand and kissing it, making Pedri roll his eyes before getting inside the car. 

"Bye."

"Bye" he and Gavi say at the same time.

"They are nice" I say once I am inside the car.

"And annoying" Pedri mutters. 

"Congratulations on that goal, by the way" I say, trying to lighten up the mood. 

"Thank you" he replies, finally looking at me. "Did you see that I dedicated it to you?"

"You did?"

"Yep" he smiles. Finally. 

"I saw that you did like a peace sign or something."

"It wasn't a peace sign, Val! It was a V! I sent you a kiss and then did a V!"

"Oh…" I say, suddenly feeling my cheeks get warm, not sure if of embarrassment or because of how cute he was by dedicating me his goal. 

"I'm sure there are photos already, let me check."

"Won't they close the stadium with us inside or something? I can't sleep at the Camp Nou, I'm already feeling all itchy from the time I've been here."

"Stop complaining" Pedri laughs, his eyes fixed on his phone. "Here. Look. The kiss" he says, showing me a photo. "And the V. My first goal of the season is for you" he smiles.

"Thank you" I reply, blushing again. And this time it definitely is because of how cute he is. Because he is cute. Admit it, Valeria. "No one had ever dedicated me a goal before."

"Well, this will be the first of many."

"Just promise me one of those future goals won't be against Real Madrid."

"I'll try" he laughs. "And I think I'm gonna post these photos on Instagram. What do you think?"

"You are smiling, I like them."

"Do you like my smile?" he asks, arching one of those perfect eyebrows of his.

"It's ok" I shrug, my face now burning. Thank God he isn't able to notice because of how dark the parking is.

"Just ok, sure" Pedri chuckles while typing on his phone.

"Do you run it yourself? Your Instagram account, I mean."

"I do. I've been offered to have someone do it for me, but I like doing it myself."

"Because that way you can manage better your dms with the teenagers?" I tease him.

"Exactly that, yes" he laughs. "Though I don't do it anymore."

"Do what?"

"Dm girls. Or reply to their dms."

"Why?"

"Because now I'm only interested in sliding into the dms of a certain girl" he says with a cheeky smile.

"Poor thing" I reply, looking away and acting as if I didn't know who he is talking about.

"Yes, poor thing. And posted. Will you give it a like?"

"Are you mad? What if someone sees it and they don't allow me to set foot in the Bernabéu ever again?" 

"They'll understand" he laughs, starting the car.

"They won't. I'm literally sleeping with the enemy, Pedri. Just that could ban me forever."

"You are such a drama queen, Val" he laughs again. "But does that mean there is no chance I will be seeing you in my notifications?" 

"Well… You actually look really cute in those photos. They are like worth it." Cute. Cute, cute, cute. The word of the night.

"I'll take that as a yes, then" he smiles. 

"But I didn't say yes. Or maybe."

"You kind of did" Pedri smirks.

"I just… whatever" I say, looking out the window so he can't see the stupid smile on my face. 

And yes, I ended up giving him that like. Let's just hope Florentino doesn't see it.

#pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri fanfic #pedri imagine #pedri gonzalez fanfic #pedri gonzalez imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

[yourmaidsp]

How do you come up with your compositions? They are so cool I wanna know if you have any huge inspirations :-) your art is so lovely

Hiiiiiii! Awww thanks for the appreciation!

I'm actually working on a more comprehensive art tutorial rn (bc someone asked here earlier), that would include composition， but I'll do a shorter answer first for u bc you're asking sth. more specific ?( hope it's okey (❁´◡`❁))

(Oh and also I've seen ur req! don't worry, I'm doing that as well, it's just there's still some before yours( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`))

Um and when the long tutorial is out, feel free to check that out ~

On Composition:

Goal

For me the goal of my illustration r Storytelling n full on Emotional experience.

(It's something I've been trying to achieve but cannot guarantee I hit it all the time, sometimes bc of my habit I'll lost myself during the process and looking back find out I miss something important, so the following is the best theories I could provide. Most of improvement r still in daily practice(●'◡'●))

To paint with beautiful compostion, you'll first have a solid story in mind, it can be simplified into " who when where n what", writing them down on a note n stick it near by would help.

And as to emotional experience, is something I can't get hold of all the time... music might help I guess? I have headcanon playlists for every chatacter or ship I wanna paint, and extract emotions from them everyday.

But there's some practical methods too.

Methods

I've worked storyboard n director for 2 years in the past, even though I'm not proud of the projects I worked on, some knowledge might still be useful.

It's mostly 2 methods: Silhouette & Movement

Well for silhouettes there's already bunch of books discussing this, one of my favs is Framed Ink, I'm sure u can find a pdf somewhere on the net.

(I find this photo on the internet bc mine is not around)

Basically it's that, think about the objects within your image, by using shadows n their original colors, you can split it into interesting shapes. This will visually elevate the overall feeling of composition.

Also, there's a cheat build in humem's understanding of an image.

basically this, putting important object on the 1/3 points of an image is the fastest cheat.

Also, contrast your silhouette. If you're painting sth that has no background, try giving your silhouette a constrasted design.

(like in this one, the right side is smooth but I'm putting lots of variation on the left.)

For movement, think about your image as a shot taken when your characters r doing sth.

They would each have a direction to move to, and that forms their movement. Your job here is to arrange them into logical or emotional lines.

If it's a series of work, u can plan out the movement toward the same direction.

(the only time you're seeing their car facing left is when they stopped, I was trying to say that their trip kinda ends here)

Also for manga, comic n movie, make sure your important information is within safe area.

(the area within dotted lines is the safe area, u want your character's expression to be mostly within it. if it's like extreme close-up, the certain area u want to emphasize should be within it.)

I have some examples for these two theories.

First let's analyze this screenshot of one of Kurosawa's film, Seven Samurais.

The story here is that these guys r about to fight, possibly some big conflict. There silhouette can be sumed up like this, within the orange line.

We see this guy sticking out from this shape, implying he might be the head of this crowd.

Movement wise, their spears n heads face the same direction, telling u that the enemy will come from that side. Even this is a still frame, the movement is implied perfectly.

Another sample from Synecdoche,NY by Charlie Kauffman

This is a minimalist way of conveying emotion, u only see one main character here, and hardly any movement. Why is it so powerful?

Our main character, Caden, is in the almost center of this shot. He has a clear n simple shape. You don't normally put your main object in the center, so we'd assume he's very important.

Then there's this repeated notes in the background. When something is repeated a lot, it giver u an impression of pressure. Especially when he's surrounded by them, and they take more space within the frame than he does.

Also, this is a down shot, the camera is pointing down and behind him. You'll feel your character being watched or at his lower point of life when u do that.

Inspirations:

Movies mostly, and traditional artists.

Back when I was in film school I watched a bunch of movies n that slowly became a habit, movies r very good sources for ideas.

Even if you're not having enough time, watching reviews n analysis would also help, (but I'd suggest u try to consume the films not listening to critics to get a unique experience.)

Some of my favourite directors are:

Kelly Reichardt (First Cow)

Apichatpong (Tropical Malady, Memoria);

Charlie Kaufman (Synecdoche NY, Adaptaion);

Satoshi Kon (Paprika, Perfect Blue);

Kurosawa Akira (Yume, Kagemusha );

Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz );

Kusturica (Black Cat White Cat, Underground 1995);

Carol Reed (The Third Man)

Errrm I hope it's helpful? (❁´◡`❁) The next tutorial is gonna be even longer.

#maid's requests #art tips #art theory

[gaslysainz]

Lost (PG10) pt4

Summary: The world is utterly unfair. He was her most prized possession, her life, her first ever commitment of love. But to him, she was just a mere person lost in his big world.

warnings: ; unrequited feelings; Pierre is a douche , arrange marriage, angst, explicit scenes and languages.

Author's Note~ Heya guys! I present to you the 4th part of my fanfic. I'm overwhelmed by the response ❤️ Really Thanks a lot to everyone who had liked the story so far. Something's have started to cook. Hope you look forward to it. Love You All 😘 Here's my first ever story for you guys. As soon as I finish this one, I'll start taking requests maybe! Till then please show your love and support for "LOST".

This one's a filler chapter, so please bear with me.

Something completely different happened today. A knock at my door woke me up from my 1 hour nap which has unfortunately turned into a 3 hour nap. I stood up from the bed and opened the door only to find my husband standing there and running a hand through his curls. Oh! What a sight! He looks like a Greek God.

"Hey! Did you need something? I'm sorry I fell asleep, also you can come inside"

He thanked me and entered my room, this is completely new. But nonetheless, I had to take a chance. He was looking around the room and the pictures hanging on the walls. His eyes stuck to one picture in particular. A picture captured by Pierre's mom of Isaac, Pierre and myself. It was Halloween and Isaac wanted to be a Vampire and on the other hand Pierre and Me were Romeo and Juliet. He was 6 and I was 4! We did not even know who Romeo and Juliet were! It was because of the elders who had insisted on these costumes! Oh! What I'd give to have those days back.

"You need something?"

"Ah! No, um actually yes, I have to attend an event with the rest of grid tomorrow. And you have to come with me. So be ready by 7pm tomorrow, will you? Wear something nice. I'll send someone with dresses for you to choose today in the evening. Just pick something from there."

There it is! Like I've mentioned before, he only remembers me when he needs something or needs to go somewhere to show off the world our so called amazing married life. *Scoff* But I'm not mad, at least I'll be able to meet HIM after so many days. The only person who happens to care even a little bit for me. Who always greets me with a beautiful smile on his face. A friend? Nope, he's like an angel for me.

I really hope everyone gets a friend like him!

" *Cough* *cough* You there?"

" Oh yea! I'm sorry, I was a bit distracted. Umm, Why don't you take Julia with you? I'm sure she would love to accompany you and also I'm sure she has several dresses in her wardrobe already. Won't even have to buy a dress last minute"

The look Pierre gave me after I mentioned Julia simply yelled 'ARE YOU CRAZY'. I mean I knew why he wouldn't take Julia, but I just find a different kind of satisfaction by reminding it to him.

"Um, I'll be ready tomorrow. Don't worry. By the way, where's Julia?"

"I sent her home, no need for her to stay here for these two days, either way we'd be busy. It'll only distract us."

Oh well! That was odd! Distract us from what exactly? Sometimes this man leaves no tables unturned to confuse me to no end. Anyways. I know better now than to crack my brain over these things. It's actually useless cause I won't get anymore clear answers from him than this.

"Any specific colour that I need to keep in mind while choosing the dress?"

"Not that I'm aware of, just keep it a bit formal. I'll get going. If Julia calls or comes asking for me, just tell her I've been out for a meeting since morning."

And then he rushed out the door, not before checking our childhood photo once again. Okay! That was highly confusing! I mean why was he avoiding Julia? Or am I reading too much between the lines? No one knows. I better go eat something until then.

But still, I'm a bit lost here.

LOST in confusion.

PS - Please lemme know what do you think about LOST and also let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list ❤️

@peachiicherries @crimeshowjunkie @oblomovissad @torossosebs @janeholt3

#pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly #f1 x reader #carlos sainz #charles leclerc #f1 #formula1 #alex albon #daniel ricciardo #angst #arranged marriage #unrequited love #yuki tsunoda #lewis hamilton #lando norris #max verstappen #sergio perez #george russell #mick schumacher #oscar piastri #lance stroll #esteban ocon #fernando alonso #nico hulkenberg #kevin magnussen #logan sargeant #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #marriage

[ghouly-boiiiii]

My Name Is Cooper

Chapter 1

A Finger for a Finger

(Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul)

Next Chapter >>

Tags: angst, fluff, romance, humor, banter, femdom, alcohol and drug use, eventual smut

Summary: Follows Lucy and The Ghoul on their journey after the events of Season 1. Lucy has to come to terms with what she’s learned about the company and people she once trusted with her life and the future of the world, and the bounty hunter's rough exterior starts to break down as he begins to see his old self in her.

After coming across an abandoned vault, they decide to spend the night there and take advantage of its remaining amenities. While there, Lucy finds some of Cooper Howard’s old movies… The same movies she grew up watching with her dad. She puts them in, and as she recalls distant memories and struggles to cope with the truth about her father, she comes to another startling realization…

Authors Note: I just wanted to write something with these two. Not sure where it's gonna go, but I've got at least 3-4 chapters in mind, and there will be smut somewhere in there lol. I just think they have an interesting dynamic and much potential for witty banter and an interesting romantic/sexual relationship. Especially with the idea that Lucy may or may not have had a major crush on the actor Mr. Cooper Howard. And that The Ghoul may or may not become an absolute lost puppy for the first woman who looks at him in *that way* after 200 years of being a walking corpse.

It's gonna be an adventure. Let's see where this takes us, y'all. lol

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,016

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers

No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man.

“You’re awful quiet there, Vaulty.” The Ghoul said, breaking a long bout of silence as he glanced over his shoulder at his human companion, with Dogmeat faithfully prancing beside him.

Lucy didn’t look up at him. She just stared at the ground, dredging her feet heavily through the sand. Dawn had long passed and the sun was now beating down, but she could barely feel the burn on her cheek as her mind raced with the things she now knew.

“You ain’t said a word since we left Cali… Hell, you ain’t even beggin’ for water.” He joked, trying to prod a response out of her.

“Lucy.” She said simply.

“What now?”

“My name is Lucy.”

“Yeah? I know that… So what?”

“That’s my name…” She looked up at him, her brow slightly furrowed and voice sharp with agitation. “I just thought since we’re gonna be traveling together, maybe you could use it sometime…”

The Ghoul looked over his shoulder again for a moment, grinning slightly. He seemed a bit surprised by her tone, but also somewhat amused. “Hah… well, alright then, Ms. Lucy MacLean.” He said mockingly. “Tell me somethin’. Whaddaya think we gonna find when we finally catch up with that daddy a’ yours?”

The vault dweller felt her jaw clench a little and her brow furrowed more. “Why are you asking me?”

“Oh, I just thought… you been down there in that vault all this time. You ought to know somethin’.”

“Ugh… No! I don’t know shit!” She snapped, raising her head up a bit more. “…In fact… I’m the one who should be asking you the questions!” The girl narrowed her eyes towards him, zeroing in on the back of his wrinkly, bald head. “How do you know my father?”

“Hah… well… that is quite a story.” He said with a snicker. “But I think we best save that for another day.”

“I want answers.” She demanded. “Besides, we’ve got a long way to go, don’t we? Might as well talk...”

“I’m used to travelin’ alone, sweetie… Kinda prefer the peace and quiet, if I’m bein’ honest…”

“Tch…” She scoffed skeptically. “You like peace and quiet… or is that just a nice way of telling me to shut up?”

The Ghoul let out a chuckle. “Nah… If I wanted you to shut up, I’d just shoot ‘cha.”

She blinked, then picked up the pace, jogging up next to him. “Alright then… let’s talk.”

He glanced over at her, then shrugged. “Be my guest.”

“What’s your name?”

“My name?”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it before… What do I call you?”

“I ain’t got no name, sweetie.”

“You have to have a name…”

“Not no more, I don’t.”

“Well, I have to call you something...”

“Heh…” He huffed a bit. His voice was casual, but clearly holding back some irritation. “Then you can just call me ‘Asshole’.”

“Come on. Tell me your name.”

“It don’t matter...” He said with a slight scowl. “...The man that name belonged to died a long time ago.”

Lucy stared at him a moment, then looked away, taking several steps before turning back to him. “...What... was he like?”

The Ghoul stopped in his tracks, then leaned to one side a bit and tilted his head before turning to her in exasperation. “I said you could talk. Not ask me a bunch of stupid ass questions.”

“I wanna know…” Lucy said, tilting her head a bit too as she stood her ground. “I wanna know who you were before you became… you know…” She paused as she looked him up and down with a slight sneer. “...this…”

The two-and-a-half century old bounty hunter stared at her a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His eyes shifted towards the barren wasteland around them where Dogmeat had decided to wonder while she waited for them to continue, then looked back at the young vault dweller. “You wanna know what he was like…?” He finally said, then his eyes moved to the distance ahead of them as he continued to walk. “Well… he was a lot like you…” The Ghoul stated with a scowl. “Naive. Hopeful... Thought the world was a... good place fulla… good people who wanted to do the right thing...” The distain in his voice was palpable.

“You were… like me?” She said, her tone was both surprised and doubtful.

“I told you, Vaulty. I’m you…” He reminded her. “Only difference between us is…”

“Time.” She finished his sentence.

He looked at her a moment, then turned away and said, “That’s right…”

Lucy got quiet again, staring at the ground as they continued to walk.

A period of silence passed between them. The Ghoul found himself glancing over at her a couple times, before asking, “You worried… what this wasteland’s gonna do to ya…?” He said, his tone oddly compassionate. “What it’s gonna turn ya into…”

She quivered a bit, looked up at him, then back down.

“Well… I don’t blame ya. I’d probably feel the same way, lookin’ at me…” He glanced over and smirked at her a bit, but she didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at him. So he continued. “I hate to tell ya though… It's already started, sweetheart… But I think you already know that…” He grit his teeth together for a moment and sucked in some air between them. “Not much you can do about it, but…” He let out a somber exhale, hesitating a moment before glancing at her again and saying, “You know… it ain’t too late... to go back.”

The girl blinked, then looked up at him with wide eyes. “Go back? To where…?” Her tone was suddenly rather upset. “To the vault? That place? That…” She shook her head. “No! No, there… there’s no way I could go back…!” She swallowed hard, fighting back tears. “Not after… Not after knowing... what I know now…” She choked back a sob and shook her head. “Just go back…? Back to my old life and pretend… like none of this ever happened? …I can’t.”

“Hmm…” The Ghoul ground his teeth a little. “Yeah, I figured you’d say that…” He took another deep breath. “That's the problem with the truth. Once you got it, you can’t put it back… No matter how bad you might want to.”

She swallowed hard against the painful lump in her throat, then looked up at him. “...Why did you let me come with you?”

“Again, with the questions…” He said with an exasperated breath. “We both lookin’ for the same thing, ain’t we?”

“...And why should what I'm looking for matter to you?”

“It don’t. Not really, but… Shit, we goin’ in the same direction.”

Lucy was getting annoyed by how The Ghoul kept running the conversation in circles, but she wasn’t about to give up. “I don’t understand why you’re being nice to me now… Why don’t you just take me hostage again?”

The old bounty hunter snickered a little. “Well, cause I ain't got no reason to, sweetheart. I don’t just go around tormenting people for the fun of it. What kinda person you think I am, huh?”

“Huh.” She scoffed at him as if she couldn't believe the stupidity of that question. “Well… kind of… not a very good one, if we’re being completely honest.”

“Heh… Well, you’re not wrong about that... But the real question is… if that’s how ya feel, why’d you decide to come with me?”

She looked down, shook her head and shrugged. “As long as you’re not dragging me around with a rope, I think I’d rather take my chances with you than be out here on my own again…”

“Yeah… life’s full of hard decisions, ain’t it?” He turned towards her, lowering his head a little and looking at her from under the brim of his hat. “You know… I underestimated you... Ms. Lucy MacLean. I thought a cushy vault dweller like yourself would be nothin’ more than roach kibble.” He looked forward and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “But… you got somethin’ in ya. Somethin’ that’s drivin’ ya… Maybe it’s that curiosity a’ yours. Maybe a misplaced sense of justice… or… maybe something else. Whatever it is… it gives you that edge. You got that survival instinct… Aw hell, maybe I’m a little curious too…”

“Curious… about what?”

“To see how far you’re willing to take it… before you do go crawling back into that hole.”

She frowned deeply and glared at him. Her voice was quiet and shaky, but firm. “I’m… never going back down there… I don’t care… what happens up here.” Her voice began to waver and crack as she spoke. “I’m never going back… I can’t go back…”

“Yeah…” He nodded approvingly. “Because you don’t take no bullshit. That’s what I like about 'che. I respect that.”

The vault dweller, or rather former vault dweller, huffed a little. “Great… I’ve earned the respect of a murdering monster…” She said sarcastically as she wiped her eyes. “That makes me feel just… so much better…”

“Call me what you want. But like I said… just give it a little time...” He smiled a little as he continued to stride forward. “...And well... to tell you the truth, I guess I feel like I owe you one, you bringing me those vials and all….” He chuckled a little at himself. “What was that you said? Golden rule, motherfucker?”

She smirked a little, feeling justified. “Yeah… but… I... was also the one who... broke them in the first place… so…”

“That’s right, you did.” The Ghoul said playfully. “But then, I suppose I shouldn’t have been using you as bait in a poisoned river.”

“Yeah… Yeah, th-that’s right! You shouldn’t have!” Lucy yelped, suddenly getting animated as she recalled the ordeal. “That was… not very respectable behavior at all, sir!”

“Yeah… rude, huh?”

“Very rude!”

“Down right ungentlemanly.”

“The most ungentlemanly!” She huffed and puffed with righteous indignation. “A-and you know what? You do owe me! Yeah! You owe me big time, mister! You cut off my finger and… and I saved your life! I didn’t have to do that!”

The Ghoul let out an amused laugh. “Oh… I still got your finger.” He said, pausing to wiggle it in front of her.

Lucy squinted in horror as she recognized the out-of-place digit, crudely stitched onto the stump of his missing index finger. Then her eyes got wide as she leaned back, sneering in disgust. “You are… a sick, sick man.”

“What? You want it back?”

“I… found a replacement already… thanks.” She said, holding up her own bluish-gray finger.

“Never let a good body part go to waste, I say.” He said with a grin. “Besides, you did bite one a’ mine off first. Only fair you replace it.”

“Y-you kidnapped me!” She threw the blame back at him.

The Ghoul let out another laugh and Dogmeat barked in excitement. “Ah, Vaulty… it’s gonna be fun havin’ you around, ain’t it?” He said before continuing to walk.

She scoffed as she began to follow, but her voice softened a bit. “Okay… so… so does that mean I don’t have to worry about you cutting off any more of my fingers…? Or… anything else like that?”

“Well… now that depends, don’t it?”

“On what?”

“Whether you plan on bitin’ off any more a’ mine, darlin'.” He said, looking over at her. “Eye for an eye. Finger for a finger. You bite my ass, I bite your ass. Golden rule, motherfucker.”

Lucy scrunched up her face in an attempt to hide that she was trying not to laugh. “I-I… I will do my best…” She said after containing herself a little and raising her head up in a dignified, but also mockingly serious way. “But you know… sometimes… a fellas gotta eat a fella… right?”

The Ghoul laughed heartily, amused at her attempt to match his humor. “Well, in that case… next time I think you better swallow.”

She felt herself crack a smile, then began to laugh as well.

To be continued...

Next Chapter >>

#the ghoul #cooper howard #fallout #lucy maclean #fallout prime #ghoulcy #fallout show #fallout series #fallout tv series #vaultghoul #lucy x cooper #the ghoul x lucy #cooper howard x lucy maclean #lucy maclean x cooper howard #fanfiction #my posts #my fanfiction #ghouly-boi

[redthefortuneteller]

Chapter 209

Chapter 209 was… well I think it provided a lot more questions than one would expect.

So, first off, my theory of Snake being originally a snake was proven wrong by the mention of a human mother. However the experimental facility held by someone akin to a dr Moreau having made Snake the was he is, still stands. As I'd already mentioned on this post, it's been officially confirmed that he did stay and eavesdrop on their conversation. And it's also been confirmed he'd been suspicious when they said they'd leave on that morning when he said "going out again?" and finally he was indeed flip flopping between believing our Ciel and being against him, which was one of the points I made in the dr. Moreau's theory post. He says he always felt suspicious. I believe either from intuition or because Sebastian right from the get go tried sneaking into the first tier side by pretending to be lost, before he even became a member of the circus.

As a small side-note to this @abybweisse's post, Snake didn't know Smile was the earl Phantomhive. He followed the scent of their circus clothes and it led him to the town house. Once there, he was confronted by Agni and Soma, he asked if a small lad and a man dressed all in black lived there. But until then we're led to believe that he didn't know of their identity. It's been so long, I too don't remember all the details about every single thing! Also, I believe he delayed reporting to Joker because he knew Doll knew Smile was in the first tier side and did nothing. So he didn't know if he should take it into his own hands to report to Joker if Doll, who is one of his superiors in a sense, already knew of this and was keeping quiet. I spoke of this more in depth here if anyone's interested. It's the same link as the one I linked in the begining.

Right, then we have a whole rewash of things that had already been known for years, with perhaps the exception of him being taught mathematics. We'd already known that he had been taught how to read. All of this in quite a fleeting, vague way. Nothing even close to the flashbacks Baldroy got. And Baldroy didn't die so, with all humbleness, I don't think he needed so much put in about him because he shall still have time to "talk" about it. In comparison, that is. Of course it's interesting know Baldroy's backstory and know more about his time with the Phantomhives. I simply feel Snake should be rightfully owed much more in comparison, since his time is now over... I will post more of my feelings on this later. Finally, we get information about a human mother, which of course confirms my theory about his origins is not to be! At least not in it's main point which is him being a snake originally. He could still have been in a experimental facility of the sort, of course.

Now, the information we were left with is simply these three points which weren't touched on or explained in any way before he died:

he was at some point in an orphanage (but was illiterate)

he was in a cage since he can remember

he and the snakes came from somewhere far away

his mother was an actress by the name of Sarah Kemble

he not only has snake attributes like snake skin, slit pupils and a split tongue, he also understands what they say and talks to them

I've been thinking hard and am having a little bit of a hard time trying to tie these three things together in a flowing, graceful manner that would fit the story and not sound like a very twisted pretzel of a backstory. Haha! Of course given more time I hope to conjure something of sense up! I'm looking forward to reading everyone's ideas on this! Everything that I was going to say about Sarah Siddons (born, Sarah Kemble) was already said by @abybweisse on this post which is quite aptly named, given that the woman that brought Snake into the world, brought out of her womb a personified epitome of tragedy, which is him.

I'd only like to add that she was born in Wales. Although Wales doesn't really count as a place far away, I just feel like mentioning this as it could become relevant later on, or someone might think of something that might add to the story. It's hard to know exactly how much Yana intends to keep in the manga of the real Sarah Kemble and how much is made up for the story. So, how much we can stretch what we know for theories is limited. We could for example say Sarah went to one of the British colonies, gave birth to her bastard child (Snake) there and left him.

Now the orphanage and the cage are a little hard to put together for me, but alas… also him not knowing how to read is odd as he was in an orphanage. Of course, we should consider too, the possibility that he could've been living there at a time when he was very little and still unfit to learn such skills. Then some organization got him and experimented on him?

Or Was he given away in England to an orphanage and later picked up by an organization that was using "free" orphaned children to experiment on them and thus taken to somewhere far away? And that's when he was introduced to the all snakes? And then they all came together back to England again? You see how it quickly becomes a little messy? But he did say that since when he can remember he was always in a cage… was he in a cage in the orphanage? That's very peculiar. Unless, the orphanage was the experimenting facility, as in my theory (minus him being originally a snake, of course).

Could he have been born as he is of some sort of socialite demonic ritual and the mother was a sacrifice? I mean, I suppose I had already thought of this hypothesis but it just sounded so inorganic that I didn't further consider it… That's simply my opinion of course, maybe with a few little details added, it could become more palatable!

That's it for now! Thank you for reading!

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #snake #black butler snake #kuroshitsuji snake #island of dr moreau theory #kuro chapter 209 #black butler 209

[damianbugs]

steph and bruce fic recs :0?

oh anon u have made my week with this request. my month. my year in fact. bruce and stephanie is a duo that is so special to me and i am not normal about them at all, and so of course i have only the best recs to give you. they are soooo complicated, but that's what makes them so interesting and so personal. i hope you enjoy these!

STEPH AND BRUCE FIC RECS ON AO3

Permutations and Hinterlands by cabezas_de_vaca

She and Bruce are complicated (not bad complicated, not wrong complicated, just complicated, because he isn’t her father and will never be her father and yet he sort of also is) but he cares. It gets lost sometimes, under the demands of Gotham, but it’s there. And so, she just asks him. “Do you want to go to Colorado with me?” Or: Bruce, Steph, and a road trip

MY NOTES: some very heavy but very good stephanie introspection, along with a great take on her relationship with bruce. also, who doesn't love a good road trip fic?

Have I Told You About Minnie by Hinn_Raven

After you’ve known Matches Malone long enough, you get used to him telling you about his kids. Not that his kids know about it.

MY NOTES: i am physically incapable of not recommending this fic regardless of the ask. it must be shared and it must be read. a real feel good and fun fic, bruce is so silly, and steph is so fun. lovely inclusion (without actually including) the other kids too!

I Used to Be an Adventurer Like You, Then I Took an Arrow to the Knee by audreycritter

Stephanie was just on patrol and now she’s stuck somewhere, sometime, with Bruce. They bleed and bond and mostly try to keep each other alive— you know, just a Tuesday.

MY NOTES: im fairly certain i have recommended this before on here, but i have also reread it at least ten times, so who's to judge. one of my favourite time travel fics, also one of my all time favourite bruce and stephanie fics. the end is especially my favourite since it develops a specific part of their dynamic that i really treasure. must read!

we’ll have a feast of all the things we love to eat by smallzita

The story has always gone like this: Batman exists because of guilt and purpose, but mostly guilt. The story is going like this: it's four-thirty in the afternoon and Bruce Wayne is wearing a dress.

MY NOTES: girl dad bruce. baby steph. as the author notes say 'Bruce Wayne being a foster parent can be something very personal actually.' what more do you want? what more is needed??!?!

it's just a question by Magpietrove4 🔒

this one doesn't have a summary, or any tags, but it might just be one of the best stephanie introspections i've read. the conversation with bruce really ties it all together. must read!

Under Armor Over Armor by LeantheBean

"Fridays don’t always go my way but someday I hope they’ll all be fine." In which, Stephanie Brown gets ready for patrol.

MY NOTES: ohhhh this one is so special to me. imagine me sobbing crying screaming as i say this. it's so melancholic and. yearnful. a wonderful thing that connects steph and bruce is also the thing they will never talk about with each other. so good.

to brighten up even your darkest knight by Nokomis

While filing Batman’s paperwork as punishment for an unfortunate incident with the Batmobile, Steph discovers a momento from an early Cluemaster takedown.

MY NOTES: this one is sooo cute and so sweet. i love when batman is batman.

boston market by almondrose

batman & robin enjoy a mid-patrol snack.

MY NOTES: this one is also so incredibly cute. until it isn't. tears in my eyes forever. have read it so many times because it is just so real. must read!

#bruce wayne #stephanie brown #batfamily fic recs #saki batfam fic recs

[teaberrii]

Chapter Twenty-Six: The End... of Us?

Alhaitham has the looks and the smarts. He will also be the stand-in CEO for his grandfather's company for a year.

But, he's been mysteriously cursed to turn into a cat every night since his eighteenth birthday… until he meets you, an employee at his grandfather's company, who rescues him as a cat and changes him back with one kiss.

Alhaitham/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on AO3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Alhaitham is the only one outside your family who accompanies you to visit your father’s grave as Childe has left for Snezhnaya. After paying your respects, the four of you are walking together when your mother says, “This is the first time you brought someone special to visit.”

You and Alhaitham exchange a little smile.

“I can already imagine the reaction,” Aether says. “He’d be like”—he puts his hands to his cheeks and looks surprised—“oh, finally!”

“Very funny,” you deadpan. Then, you gently nudge your sister. “But maybe he would be more surprised at the friends-to-lovers story.”

Lumine slightly blushes, and your mother laughs. “It’s just you now, Aether.”

“Yeah. How’re things with Ayaka?” Lumine asks.

“Ayaka?” your mother asks. She looks at Aether. “Who’s this friend of yours?”

Aether gives Lumine a deadpan look, and she smiles. “I’ll tell you later,” Aether says.

They reach the entrance, and your mother turns to you. "Well, are you two going to head off somewhere?"

Lumine coughs loudly. “Y’know… we still haven’t forgotten the pictures of that date you said you would be going on.”

“Ugh,” Aether groans, “I’d rather not see people get lovey-dovey after what I saw—”

“Isn’t there a street fair happening nearby?” Lumine interrupts. “We should go there together!”

So, that’s how you and Alhaitham end up following your mother and siblings to the street fair. You and Alhaitham are holding hands, trailing behind everyone else.

Should he tell you about his conversation with his mother? He has his suspicions, but the last thing he wants is to burden you with them. They might not even be true. Yet, he can’t get that conversation out of his head. 

“Hey, handsome.”

Alhaitham turns and sees you looking at him curiously.

“Thinking about something?”

Is it that obvious?

“You haven’t said anything in a while.”

Ah.

He smiles slightly and kisses you on the head. But before he can say anything, you hear someone call Aether's name.

“A-Ayaka? What are you doing here?”

“We were just passing by."

He isn't showing much of his face, but you recognize the voice anywhere. Ayato appears behind his sister, wearing a hat and a face mask. However, even behind it, you know he's smiling with the look in his eyes. You and Alhaitham walk up to them, everyone saying their hellos. Then, you do a quick introduction to your mother.

Aether looks worriedly at Ayaka, but she already knows what's on his mind. "Don't worry. I have my medication with me." He visibly relaxes, and she loops her arm around his, surprising him. Then, quietly, she says, "...We didn't get to finish our date that day."

Aether turns red. “D-date?”

Lumine laughs. “I… never knew Ayaka could be so bold.”

Eventually, you, Alhaitham, and Ayato are sitting together at a café while Ayaka is exploring the fair with your family.

“Purpose?” you ask.

Ayato puts his coffee down. "It's what I've been thinking about since I lost the lead role. I did want it, but I didn't realize that an actor must put a lot of thought into their characters. Their motivations, desires, drive... The more I thought about it, the more I started thinking about my own life. What's my purpose to act if not for monetary gain?"

“Do you have an answer?” Alhaitham asks.

After a photo shoot, Ayato had Thoma drive him to the hospital to accompany Ayaka for her checkup.

Ayato was patiently waiting outside a hospital room when he felt he was being watched. He turned and happened to see a girl peeking out behind a corner. As soon as he saw her, she quickly moved out of sight.

“Something wrong?”

Ayato turned around and saw Thoma walk up. “I thought I saw someone around the corner.”

“...Don’t tell me it’s a crazy fan or something.”

“That’s what I thought,” Ayato admitted. “But… it doesn't feel that way.”

The door slid open, and Ayaka stepped out with the doctor as he says, "She's in good health. Nothing to worry about. However, I prescribed her some medication that she should carry with her. Just to be safe."

“Thank you, Doctor.” Then, Ayato looked at her sister. “Shall we go?”

“Actually… is there something you can do for me?”

Ayato and Thoma glanced at each other. “What is it?”

As Ayaka led them to a room, she told them about a freshman in high school she shared a room with on the day she had that heart scare with Aether. After Ayato had left, she slid the curtains separating their beds, and they started a conversation. It was then Ayaka learned that the girl was Ayato's fan.

“...She was going through a difficult time because she had just lost her brother,” Ayaka said quietly. “...She tried to follow him. That’s why she’s here.”

Soon, Ayaka stopped in front of a hospital room on the same floor. She slid the door open and Ayato saw a familiar girl sitting on the bed. She looked like the same girl he saw earlier peeking around the corner. As soon as she saw them, she visibly froze.

Ayaka smiled at her. “Hi! Do you remember me?”

"I… I can't believe you really brought him here!"

“I promised. Didn’t I?”

Then, as if gathering her courage, she finally looked Ayato in the eyes. “I’m sorry I seemed to be spying on you earlier… I knew Ayaka was coming, so I came to see her. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

Ayato smiled at her. “Not at all. I heard from Ayaka that you kept her company when she stayed here. So, thank you.”

“N-no! I mean… I should be thanking you!”

“Me?”

The girl smiled. "I read your interview on Teyvat Vogue a couple of years ago. You talked about your upbringing… and why you went into the industry. I thought it was very moving."

Ayato remembered. It was the first interview he'd ever gone into more detail about his ex-fianceé. If only this girl knew that the reason why he went into the industry was now the reason why he felt so lost right now.

“...You brought me strength that I wasn’t alone," she continues, "and I was doing something right.”

Ayato and Thoma glanced at each other. Doing something right? As much as Ayato wanted to know, he knew better than to pry into the private lives of others, let alone a fan.

"...While I don't know what you're going through," Ayato began, "You're never alone. There's always someone somewhere who's going through something similar." Then, he smiled. "I'm glad sharing bits of my story gave you strength."

“I’ve heard of people being inspired by the stories of others. But after talking with her, it felt more personal,” Ayato says. “Of course, she didn’t go into detail about what she was dealing with, but it did give me a fresh perspective on my career and myself.”

You nod. "Sometimes, all we see are numbers of our work. But when you really talk to someone about how much you've impacted them, it hits differently."

“Yes… she said I gave her strength. But I also drew strength from her, as cliché as that may sound." Ayato smiles. "Which is why I will keep trying. For myself and others.”

“That’s quite a healthy outlook,” Alhaitham says.

"Once you land that lead role, we have to celebrate," you say.

Ayato laughs. “Are you sure you’re not using it as an excuse?”

“How can you say that?” you ask, acting hurt.

“Once I do, you and The Strays will be the first to know.”

“We’ll hold you to that,” Alhaitham says with a small smile.

“Yes!” you say. “We’d better not find out through some media article.”

“Why do I suddenly feel pressured?”

After a short laugh, you see Aether tapping on the glass window beside your table. He points at you and then at a nearby food cart that already has a lineup. You look in the direction he's pointing and see a large sign for fried ice cream. Then, you see Aether make an eating gesture, and you look at Ayato and Alhaitham. But before you can say anything, they already know what's on your mind.

“Go ahead,” Ayato says. “We’ll be here.”

Alhaitham watches you leave the café, and his small smile slowly starts to fade, something that Ayato catches.

“Hey,” he says, and Alhaitham looks at him. “Is everything all right?”

“...Yes and no.”

“...I’m always willing to lend an ear.”

Alhaitham exhales deeply. “I’ve been suspecting something that may or may not be true. One of the options is to ask the person it involves… but I can’t do that because of various reasons. Another option is to do a little investigating myself. However…”

“...You’re scared of what you might find,” Ayato finishes quietly.

“...It’s the first time I’ve felt this way.”

"If I were you… I'd do it, anyway." Ayato picks up his coffee. "Knowing the truth is always better than living in the dark. But I bet you already knew that. You just want another push to know you're doing the right thing."

The right thing… Is it truly the right thing? He would be prying into your private life without your knowledge. Shouldn’t he talk about it with you first? But that would involve mentioning his mother’s conversation and his suspicions.

“It involves her, doesn’t it?”

Alhaitham looks up from his coffee. He doesn’t want to answer that question, but Ayato takes his silence as an answer.

“...May I offer an opinion?” Ayato continues.

“Go ahead.”

"If it involves her, no matter how scary or troubling, I think she would appreciate you talking with her. I… know that Thoma had good intentions when he kept my ex's true cause of death a secret. But no matter how painful the truth was, it made me think how differently I would live if I knew the truth."

Eventually, Alhaitham gives him a subtle smile. “...Yes, I think you're right. Thanks, Ayato.”

“I know you two will get through this.”

◆◆◆

Despite what's on his mind, Alhaitham is still preparing dinner for two that evening. What's the best way to talk to you about his suspicions? You're coming over tonight, so he intends to bring it up. He just took the lasagna out of the oven when his phone goes off. Alhaitham takes off his oven mitts and walks over to the kitchen counter. As soon as he sees the name on the screen, he answers it.

“Mom?”

“Haitham… are you home? I’m outside of your apartment.”

“Is everything all right?”

“...There’s something I have to talk to you about.”

Alhaitham stiffens. “...What is it?”

“Can we talk? Face to face?”

Alhaitham glances at the time. “She’s going to be here for dinner soon. …Perhaps we should have dinner together.”

A small pause.

“...Actually, I’d rather talk to you privately.”

Well, that confirms his suspicions.

“It’s about her, isn’t it?”

His mother sighs. “I told you no more secrets, didn’t I?”

“Is this about her father?”

Another pause.

“...I’m going to talk to her tonight,” Alhaitham continues. “I’m going to ask if she knows whether her parents knew you—”

“No!”

The sudden outburst makes Alhaitham's eyes widen, and he tightens his grip on his phone. Does this mean that what he suspects is true? Does his mother really have something to do with your father's death?

“...You know something. What is it?” When his mother remains silent, he firmly says, “Tell me.”

“...Her father got a heart attack on the street. I… was there. It was the day of one of the most important presentations in my career, and I… I accidentally hit him.”

Alhaitham’s eyes widen. “You… what?”

“I wanted to help. Truly I did! But… my phone was dead, and I didn’t know what else to do! A woman called the ambulance and—”

“Did you kill—”

“No! No, I didn’t! Please believe me, Haitham. I did not kill her father. Just let me finish.”

Alhaitham sits on the couch, his hands slightly shaking and his heart racing a million miles per minute. This cannot be happening.

“The car accident only made his injuries and… suffering worse," his mother continues as calmly as she can. "But it wasn’t the cause of his death.”

“...In other words, you could’ve saved him if you brought him to the hospital. You… left an innocent man to die on the streets, Mother.”

“Please… Haitham… you don’t… you don’t understand. That presentation was—”

“I will never understand. You chose a presentation over someone’s life… I cannot—”

“I would not be where I am today if I didn’t make that choice,” his mother says, her voice shaking.

“...How do you know? Life has so many different paths that can lead to the same outcome. But you… you chose one that shows how truly hideous human beings can be.”

His mother falls to her knees. “I… I never could’ve imagined that you would end up dating his daughter.”

“...Her father died a long time ago.” Alhaitham’s gaze hardens. “Just how long have you kept this secret?”

“I am not a person without a conscience, Haitham… I went to therapy because of what I did. I felt… so, so guilty.”

“...And?”

A pause.

"You said you felt guilty," Alhaitham continues. "...What did you do about it? Did you keep hiding it? Were you thinking of putting the past behind you?"

“Yes! I had to move on, Haitham. I couldn’t live in that past forever!” She takes a small breath. “I am sure if you ask her the same thing, she would agree with me. Her father’s gone. Her family also had to move on from this!”

“Do they know the truth?”

“I didn’t kill him.”

“But you could’ve saved him.”

The silence is deafening until…

“...You aren’t going to tell her, are you?” Alhaitham asks.

“...There’s nothing to say. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“You’re going to keep running away.”

“I’m not running away!”

Alhaitham stands, a furious look in his eyes. “You’re talking about this because you’re still haunted by the past. You may not have killed him, but why does it feel like you’re seeking acceptance?”

“...Acceptance?”

“...Tell me your reason for telling me about this now. What do you want me to say?”

She has no answer.

“Do you want me to tell you that it’s okay?” Alhaitham asks. “Comfort you as if you’re a child?” He rubs the space between his brows. “You want to tell her, Mother. You want to tell her about what you did and have her tell you that you did nothing wrong. That’s the acceptance you’re looking for.” He inhales sharply. “But you’re too afraid.”

“...You should know I’m not someone to look for someone’s acceptance. I don’t want to hurt her, Haitham. I don’t want to hurt the relationship you have with her.”

So, what is he supposed to do with his information? Hide it from you? 

“She deserves to know this,” Alhaitham says quietly.

“Haitham… how can you think about telling her? You’re risking—”

“...My relationship with her?”

He sighs. He can’t find the words as he never thought his relationship with you might be jeopardized because of what someone else did. It's not even a misunderstanding. While he has nothing to do with this absurd situation, how will you feel knowing you’re dating the son of the woman who left your father to die on the streets? Alhaitham sits down and closes his eyes for a brief moment.

When will this nightmare end?

“...Haitham, I promised you that there would be no more secrets between us. This is me keeping that promise. And… because I did, I’m hoping you will promise to keep this secret just between us.”

“...I don’t know if I can keep that promise.”

Before his mother can say anything else, Alhaitham ends the call. His back is against the couch, his eyes on the ceiling. Then, he put a hand on his forehead and close his eyes. That's when it hits him. He opens his eyes and looks at the time. You should be here by now.

He thinks about texting you, but you’re right across the hall, so—

As soon as he opens his door, he freezes upon seeing you. You look pale and shocked. How long have you been standing there?

He quietly says your name, and you flinch as if snapping out of a trance when you look up. But then the look in your eyes shifts into something Alhaitham has never seen. Anger? Frustration? Confusion?

“...Were you talking about me?” But before Alhaitham can say anything, you ask, “Your mother… had something to do with how my father died?”

He says your name again and moves to put his hands on your shoulders. But when you move away from him, he feels his heart shatter.

“Does she?” you ask again.

“...She does,” Alhaitham answers. Then, as calmly as he can, he tells you what he knows.

He can see the gears turning in your head. Perhaps you’re trying to match her story to what you know about your father’s death. You only mentioned that your father was in an accident and your mother made the decision to take him off life support. But do you know the full story?

“...I don’t… I don’t understand,” you say. “My Mom has never told me this.” Does this mean not even your mother knows? But that's impossible, right? “...I’m sorry. Could we… have dinner another time?”

As soon as Alhaitham nods, you immediately head back into your suite, leaving him scared and powerless.

◆◆◆

Your mother is at home watching TV with Aether and Lumine when she gets a call from you. As soon as she hears the confusion and frustration in your voice, she quickly moves into her room and closes the door.

“Take a deep breath,” your mother says. “What’s going on?”

“You said Dad wanted to be taken off life support because of the complications after his heart attack,” you say. “...But was he also hit by a car?”

Your mother’s face pales. “...Why are you asking?”

“Just… just answer me, please.”

She sits on the edge of her bed. “...He was.”

Your heart almost stops.

“I didn’t lie to you,” she continues. “Your father’s body wasn’t in the best condition when his heart attack happened. But because of the car accident, he was left partially paralyzed. He… didn’t want to live a life where I had to constantly take care of him. He also didn’t want you to carry this burden of thinking you have to care for him when you're older.” You hear her voice break when she says, "He didn't want you to give up your future because of him."

You clench your fists as you try to calm the sudden pain in your chest.

“...Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask, your voice shaking. “I… I didn’t know about this.”

“...You were so young. We didn’t want to hurt you.”

You take a deep breath. “Did you ever find the person who hit Dad?”

“...We tried. The woman who called the ambulance didn’t get her licence plate number in time. …But I know it’s a woman who hit him.” Your mother exhales sharply. “Why are you suddenly asking about this?”

"...What if I told you I could find this person?"

“How in the world are you going to do that?”

“I have my ways.”

And then you end the call.

You drop your phone on the couch beside you and bury your face in your hands. Everything is quiet except for the violent storm inside your heart as you relive the grief, pain, and anxiety your younger self felt many years ago.

He may have died when you were very young, but you can't count the number of times you wish he was still here... to alleviate your mother's pressure of being a single parent and give you guidance in life. Except this time, you're also coming to terms it's your boyfriend's mother who's partly responsible for this pain and suffering.

What will you do now? Are you a terrible person if you continue being with Alhaitham, the son of the woman who left your father to die?

Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door.

You shouldn't be surprised when you see Alhaitham, who looks extremely worried.

“I—”

You both stop.

“There’s—”

You both stop again.

Alhaitham gestures for you to go first.

“...I want to talk to your mother.”

"...I'll do everything I can to get her to talk to you," Alhaitham says. 

You clench your fists. "Does she want to keep running away?"

He wants to hug you, but it's as if something is holding him back. Perhaps it's the look on your face. You're obviously still processing this newfound grief that his mother was involved in your father's death, but there's also something else. It's as if you're fighting with something.

"Let me talk with her," Alhaitham says seriously. "I'll do something about this. I promise."

When you stay silent, he cautiously puts his hand on your cheek. You don't pull away, so he slowly pushes you toward him until he holds you tightly. He feels your arms around him, and he kisses your head.

“...I’m sorry… about all of this,” he says quietly.

“...It’s not your fault.” Then, you slowly let him go and step back. “But… I just need a little time to process all of this.”

Are you hinting at what he thinks you're hinting at?

With a downcast look on your face, you finally ask, "...Could we take a little break?"

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @seirenspinel @lxry-chxn @sakiimeo @ash-in-lavender @ceylestia @forsh4dow @deathkat657 @kalpie @elernity @sentieence @chichibleeps @sunsethw4 @hjjks @tanspostsblog @nqctre @just-simping-over-genshin @uchihaeirin @vynbin @ayanokomu @dksfl920 @rin1802 @itztaki @thetwinkims @imkaaayy @angeilix @starlighttotheleft @letthewindlead @certaindreampost @winterpein @theprinceofkhaos@vvyeislazzy @warrior-of-justice @n8mareee

#alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham x yn #alhaitham x y/n #genshin al haitham #al haitham x reader #al haitham x y/n #al haitham fluff #al haitham

[nikki-is-a-nerd]

In Another Life

Synopsis:

When Ezra left and sacrificed himself, He didn't just leave behind his family and friends but the person who he promised to love. When Sabine finds him, he learned not to ask certain things

Genre: Angst.

Note: This is from Ezra's point of view. And AFAB reader and yes Katy Perry reference because ugh it hurts so bad.

_________________________________

How long has it been? How long has he been stuck here, wherever here really was. How long has it been since he lost it all for the sake of saving his home planet? He really didn't know, perhaps he also doesn't want to know. Sure he knows that somewhere deep inside that his friends-no his family is looking for him. Sabine would use that stubborn head if hers just to find him, he bets that Hera and Zeb would do the same although a bit subtle, and you, his lovely girl, he just knows that you're out there somewhere using all your connections. He smiles at that.

He closes his eyes remembering the night before his sacrifice. The sky was beautiful in Lothal, the Loth cats surround you both in the field he found. The sky was beautiful but they couldn't compare to you.

"Ezra, do you think when the Empire is destroyed, we can grow up like normal teenagers and adults?" You asked him so meekly.

He had to take a breath before he answered since he remembered the little message he recorded for you and Sabine.

"I sure hope so. I would like to not always be in a life and death situation and it would ease my mind to know that you aren't in one as well." Ezra said as he looked at you.

"Maybe we can live in your tower, have a pet Loth cat and maybe we can visit Sabine in Mandalore too." You said hopeful.

Ezra feels guilty for what he knows he's going to do and honestly he doesn't know what to say or how to tell you that with what he's planning to do, he might not even get that future with you. So he lies with a smile instead, adding onto your fantasy, one that he's had in a while as well.

"How many Loth cats do you want? We can have as much as you want. I can even move some of my prized helmets to make more space for us." Ezra said as he closed his eyes.

"The helmets, we should put them in a nice glass case so we can admire all the helmets you've collected. And we can put your lightsaber on display." You said happily.

That was the last happy memory he had with you. The day he chose to exile himself, you were knocked unconscious during a fight, this didn't get to hear Ezra's farewell. He asked Sabine to watch over you and tell you that he loves you and that he was sorry.

After that all he's known were these creatures native to this planet. He was in exile but Thrawn found this time to rebuild and make connections with the dark mothers and the other scavengers on this planet. While he lived on the run, once again protecting these creatures that he slowly began to care for.

When Sabine arrived on the planet that she told him was called Peridea, she mentioned how he's been gone for a decade. The resistance won, the empire, the emperor and Darth Vader were all gone. Luke Skywalker brought back the Jedi Order, Leia Organa is now a senator, Hera is now a general and a mother, Kallus and Zeb are married and that she was living in his tower. It was night time already and the rest of the alien friends that Ezra had made were fast asleep. Happy as he might be hearing those life stories he asked Sabine the most important one to him.

"Where's (Y/N) now? What's she up to nowadays? Is she with someone? I mean I wouldn't mind if she was, I mean I've been gone for a decade she can do that. I mean I also just left without a goodbye an-" Sabine cut off Ezra's ramblings.

Sabine looked sullen and wracked with guilt as she looked at Ezra. He knew, he had a feeling that whatever he would hear, this wasn't going to be any good.

"Ezra, after you left, (Y/N) decided that she was going to try and find you. She searched everywhere, until Cassian Andor and her met. He recruited her into a mission to steal the blueprints of the death star." Sabine said solemnly.

"And? You said we won. I guess they succeeded then." Ezra said.

"They did. They succeeded which in turn allowed us to win, but at the cost of everyone part of that mission's lives." Sabine concluded.

Ezra felt his heart shatter. You were dead? The one who kept him sane on this planet, one of his reasons to return. You were well and truly gone? He never got to apologize to you for abandoning you. He hasn't told you how being apart from you was like losing half of himself in the process, how the sun doesn't shine as brightly. How he loves you and longs for you. Now all these words will be left unsaid.

"I'm sorry Ezra. I failed to protect her and I couldn't keep my promise." Sabine apologized, teary eyed.

And Ezra snapped out of his downward spiral. He may have lost the love of his life but for Sabine, she lost her sister, she lost the person who she considered her best friend and he hugged her.

"I'm sorry I made you relive all that." Ezra apologized.

"Don't apologize Ezra. I knew you'd ask about her. When (Y/N) died, I felt it in the force, Ahsoka did too. We felt frozen when that happened. I felt so useless. I talked to her before they executed the mission. I told her that I thought I had a lead on you and I got mad when she said that it didn't matter if I told her or not." Sabine said softly.

She wiped her tears as she looked up at the sky.

"I guess she just didn't want to tell me that it was a suicide mission. That no matter what happens, she would end up. Dead. She didn't leave a message like you did. But apparently she left letters. So once you get back, ask chopper about it." Sabine said a sad smile on her face.

"You know, it's funny how life works. I sacrificed myself so that she can find a way to live peacefully and she does the same thing. Funny how I'm still alive and she isn't." Ezra said looking up at the night sky.

Sabine let Ezra rest his head on her shoulder as he let out a deep exhale. He was saddened by the news, that wasn't really surprising. Sabine used to tell you that you and Ezra were made to be together. It's why she was so utterly devastated by your loss. She knew that if she ever found Ezra telling him about your untimely death and sacrifice would break his heart.

"You know we both moved into your tower. She arranged your helmet collection when she got enough credit to buy a nice case. She said it was her way of fulfilling both of your dreams." Sabine said trying to lighten up the mood.

"She did? I thought she'd be mad at me and throw them out or sell them." Ezra said.

"Nah, (Y/N) cared for those helmets and told me that if anyone tried to take those away from her to put on display since they made a mural of us in Lothal, she said she would steal them." Sabine said chuckling to herself.

"Oh knowing (Y/N) she would even care if people saw her stealing it. She'd say something along the lines of 'its private property and you took it' or 'is it really theft if I own it?'. She's too snarky to get caught." Ezra said with a smile.

"Word of advice, when you return to your tower in Lothal, there's a box labelled with her name on it. Inside is this really thick journal she has. It's addressed to you." Sabine said as she moved to her designated resting spot, beside her howler.

"I thought you lived in the tower?" Ezra asked.

"I did but it was more like ensuring that you'd have a familiar place to return too. Plus there's a loth cat there, use your weird animal speech thing." Sabine joked.

"Thanks Sabine." Ezra said.

When the time came for their escape from Peridea, sure he was alone in Thrawn's ship once more, as Sabine decided to stay behind with Ahsoka. A decision he accepted as he watched as his friend and someone he sees as a sister fight side by side just to get him home.

Once back to the galaxy he once left behind, he had a feeling of both excitement and happiness but also longing. He was excited to see his family. He hasn't seen Hera, Zeb, Kallus and chopper in so long and now he has a new face to see, the last link he has of his late master, Jacen. Yet he can never fully feel at home, not when a piece of him was lost forever once he learned of your demise from Sabine.

When he arrived at the resistance base, it was bittersweet. Hugging Hera felt like he was grounded back in reality. He was home, but not really. Home would've been in your arms, in his tower in Lothal, living out your days in domestic bliss. So once he's caught up with everyone, he asks Hera if he can go back to Lothal, to his tower. Hera didn't object, just led him to the ghost with Jacen chattering away. He felt happy seeing Jacen, so young and full of life. He would make for a great Jedi one day.

"We're here Ezra." Hera spoke as she opened the ship's door and lowered its ramp on Ezra's tower.

"We'll visit you often uncle Ezra!" Jacen said happily.

"If you need anything, just message us on our commlink." Hera added.

"Yeah, thanks again Hera. Take care of yourself now, okay Jacen? Don't be reckless." Ezra said trying faux seriousness.

"Of course!" Jacen said happily.

As soon as the ghost was out of sight, he entered the doors, the lock was still the same. Once inside he noticed the subtle changes. Bunk beds, a chest under the lower bunk with Sabine's things, a small bed for a loth cat, and in the far corner, next to a glass case filled with his collection of helmets was a chest with your name on it. He immediately walks towards it, opening it delicately. There he sees four journals, all labelled, for Ezra.

He opens the very first one and a soft smile graces his lips.

Sabine and I moved into your tower. We wanted to stay close to Lothal, keep it safe and also to form some roots. We have been very busy though.

Dear Ezra,

We moved into your tower, we wanted to stay close to Lothal. Watch over your home planet as much as we can. Although we have been quite busy. Since we are now formally part of the resistance, we have been taking a lot of missions. Sometime together, sometimes apart. I miss you. I wish I wasn't knocked unconscious when you left. I would have loved to hear your voice one last time. I'm not giving up though. In between missions I ask around if people have any known locations of a star whale's path. I may come up empty handed but it won't stop me from trying. I know you're out there. We'll find you. I promise.

Yours always, (Y/N).

But Ezra wanted to look for one specific letter, the one Sabine said was written before your mission with Cassian Andor. Once he picked up the last journal, he realized it only had one entry in it.

Dear Ezra,

I'm so sorry my search has been quite fruitless. Sabine and I never gave up though. I write this last entry now a few days away from our intended mission. We still need to find a certain person but by then we'll be too busy fixing our plan and I won't be able to write anymore. Something about this mission tells me that it might be our last. The blueprints of the death star are highly guarded and the planet is crawling with empire scum. Cassian told me that, he believes we can all go home. I don't really believe that. I hope you won't be too mad or upset with me. I am doing this so that we can no longer live in fear for the next day. For what the empire might do to us. I know that wherever you may be, I know that my love will reach you. I hope Sabine can continue what we started and find a way to get you back. Perhaps in another life, we could have the life that we talked about in that field. Maybe more. I would have loved to see what our future would have been like. To grow old with you, build a life together and a home. In another life, I know we would have had a happy life but I would never ask you to change. My Starboy. My Ezra. My love. My heart is yours forever and always. May the force be with you.

Forever yours, (Y/N).

Ezra clutched that journal to his chest, letting his tears fall freely down his face. He has time to read the other journals next time but for now he wishes to close his eyes and dream of a life where he never left and you lived past twenty. But he knows that you'll always be with him. In the force and in his heart. In your words, He's forever yours.

#ezra #rebels ezra #ezra x reader #ezra bridger #star wars #ahsoka series #ahsoka tv #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #hera syndulla #ezra bridger x reader #ezra x reader angst #bring ezra home #fanfiction writer #starwars fanfics #nikki writes fanfics #star wars imagine #eman esfandi #rosario dawson #natasha liu bordizzo #mary elizabeth winstead #star wars universe #ahsoka disney+ #ezra bridger x reader angst #ezra angst #nikki writes fanfics again

[alifeasvivid]

Hello I recently read your headcanon about Hetalia's interpretation of American Independence just being Alfred's fantasies and I am so curious about what Arthur and Alfred's relationship is in this reality where Arthur never cared and Alfred is totally aware of that - is Arthur still in love with Alfred? Would Alfred trust those feelings? I am in AGONY

Hi! good questions! And this gets a little long so it gets a "read more" I implore you to please read it very carefully because, for better or worse, I've been developing these thoughts since 2009 and I can only try to summarize them here.

So my headcanon is that my headcanon IS canon but from the perspective of "what actually happened". All we really ever see about the American War for Independence is very distinctly ONLY Alfred's point of view in the storage closet strips/arc. We never really see Arthur's point of view, nor anyone else's (to my knowledge. I've been around so long it's possible I've missed something >.> LOL)

The problem with that is the way this period in history is taught in American public schools is basically all propaganda, which is something I actually learned because of Hetalia and it was very eye opening for me. A lot of people who didn't like usukus would sneeringly say that Great Britain didn't even care about the 13 colonies, that they weren't even that important, etc etc. (I've mentioned this a few times on my blog, I'll see if can dig any of them up at some point LOL) So I started digging into it and they were... somewhat correct. The colonies that would eventually form the US were not the most important nor most financially lucrative for Britain and Parliament had to oppose the rebels *mainly* to prove to the other colonies that rebellions would not go unopposed.

And the problem with all THAT is that Hima seems to have only ever absorbed that propaganda. What happens in the storage closet arc is so out of line with what actually happened IRL that I like to speculate that this story is what America tells himself.

This follows from my headcanon that America has been in love with England (in some form) since the very beginning of his existence. But England didn't see him that way at all. He loved America as a little child in a kind of selfish way that he knew America was always across the sea, always happy to see him when no one else was. IMO, part of America's desire to become independent was to show England that he was grown up, that he wasn't a kid anymore, that he could be England's partner/lover, but England was still fixated on this idea of the smiling sunshine little boy across the sea and this blinded him to what was really going on.

Side note: I have a whole bunch of adjacent headcanons that England felt so betrayed by the America's rebellion because he *thought* he gave America the world, gave him protection and care, things that he himself did not have as a child and so America was being horrendously ungrateful. And I also have some other relevant headcanons about how America is more like the Eve to England's Adam, which I also think is more in line with actual history: England tore out a piece of himself and flung it across the ocean where it grew into his own soulmate. I have so many posts about this because I think it's so deeply romantic and I love it, but I can't seem to find rn I'm sorry T_T...

Okay continuing on... so my theory is that what we see in the Hetalia canon aka the storage closet stuff is America's fantasy, mainly in a situation where he still believes his love is unrequited. He wanted England's attention so badly, but the reality is that part of the reason Britain lost the war IRL is because their resources/military were stretched waaaaay too thin. They didn't have the troops available to successfully oppose the rebels and Parliament deemed that other conflicts/locations were more worth committing to, mainly for financial reasons. So England wouldn't have been there, his priorities would have been somewhere else, it's not that he didn't care. I also think that whatever Parliament thought, England, as in Arthur, cared a LOT and he was so angry and hurt that he didn't want to face Alfred and that Alfred's betrayal (in his mind) is part of what drove him into high gear as far as imperialism is concerned: "Fine, if no one will love me, then they'll all fear me"

America wanted England to be there at the end of the revolution, to show that he did care, that America mattered to him, that it mattered to him that America was leaving, so he came up with this fantasy (which is actually kind of in line with how the founding of the US became so mythologized, IMO), but in my headcanon, what we see in the actual canon exists only in his mind, the rest of actual canon is still the same, as in, England and America reconciled and became good friends during and after WWII and that's when their relationship gets really repaired... America feels more like he's actually grown up and England can finally consider "forgiving" him for the perceived ungratefulness and begin to see him as an adult.

As to your question about how this headcanon changes things for England... it doesn't. England has his own perception of what happened in his mind and perhaps it isn't deliberately a fantasy, perhaps it is more in line with the "reality" of what happened, but in my headcanon, it changes nothing about him and his actions in actual canon. He just doesn't see America as someone he could have romantic or sexual feelings for until that time around or after WWII because before that, he still emotionally views America as a kid even if he knows logically that America isn't anymore--he still has those lingering memories from long ago, but seeing America during WWII is a real shock to his system like... oh, oh shit he's hot what the fuck! meanwhile America has been pining for England since around the 1740's LOL. England doesn't have to been in love with America all along to be in love with him now.

In my version, I think once America and England actually get together, America can maybe let go of his fantasy version of the revolution. It's not that England never cared, it's that America saw their relationship one way and England saw it another way and those ways were fundamentaly incompatible.

The truth, irl, is that Great Britain/England is so old that of course the American War for Independence is but a tiny blip in its history, but it's the literal birth of the United States so of course it matters way more to us and this is partly my way of accounting for the discrepancy and for fitting in how the ACTUAL history makes for much more interesting usukus ideas and a deeper connection between them so it's actually the opposite: it's not that England isn't in love with America, it's that he has no idea he's in love with America and just how deep in his heart that love is. America is very aware of it and is just trying to get England to see it, but in the meantime, his heart hurts that he wasn't given the consideration he thinks was more befitting their relationship and the "fantasy" is his way of soothing himself.

I apologize that this got so long LOL. I hope this answers your questions, let me know if you need clarification on anything ^-^

#headcanon #spadian meta #(maybe my new tag for hc's... it was annoying that I couldn't find other posts easily P:)