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snazzyturtles · 5 months

Text

"Somnolent"

asahi x f!reader, nsfw, mdni

plagued by nightmares, you just can't fall asleep- until your roommate decides to help out

somnolent- a state of strong desire for sleep, refer to the state preceding falling asleep.

wc: 10.4 k

tw: roommates, aged up (post-timeskip) , unprotected, teasing, titty sucking, fingering, handjobs, edging, bd/sp, mating press, creampie, pet names (little bunny, princess, baby, sweetheart/sweetie) , implied small/short-er reader (but lets face it asahi is a big boy so pretty much everyone fits in this category) , asahi has a subconscious daddy kink

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

he's tired- that much is clear. it's visible from the bags under his eyes, the way he's covering his mouth as he yawns, the slightly groggy tone he has when he speaks. "what's got you up so late?" you can hear his concern even through the drowsiness.

you turn your head slowly, looking over the back of the couch to stare at his face. his brown hair is pulled into that low bun of his, some loose strands messily sticking out, but he makes it look good. his glasses are low on the bridge of his nose, his gaze sleepy, yet interested.

asahi definitely looked sleepy. lucky.

"i've been trying to sleep all night, but i just can’t… thought a boring movie might help, but it just woke me up even more…” you can't help but frown at the situation. you're normally asleep at this hour, and you always fall asleep before him.

"oh?" he asks as he leans against the doorway, "what kind of movie did you watch? you know that a movie really isn't the best thing to watch if you're trying to sleep." you can tell he's teasing you a bit, but his voice is soft, gentle. "i'm sure that if you try to relax enough, you'll be fast asleep in no time.”

your eyebrows furrow at his response, confused by his suddenly direct reaction. "what are you talking about, asahi?" this was so unlike him, but it was late at night.

"i can see you're also having trouble sleeping, so how about we do something together to distract ourselves?" his tone is slightly pleading but also encouraging at the same time. “a little sleepover- what do you say?" his expression still shows slight drowsiness, but now you can clearly notice the way he's trying to look a little more awake as he offers a little smile.

your breath catches for a second at his response. asahi wanted you to go in his room with him?

"w-wait, what?”

you guess it did make some sense, he's obviously tired and you were only keeping him awake the longer you made noise in the apartment. but at the same time…

his voice suddenly grows a little softer- he's a bit embarrassed after your reaction. "it-it's nothing unusual," he says. "j-just roommates sharing a bed since we both can't sleep. there's nothing more to it…” he sighs at the end and waits for you to answer him. he still looks rather tired, but he's trying to look awake for you.

“i… i guess that might help..." you mumble back. he was bigger than you, maybe he'd be a good space heater for the night. you reach over to pick up the remote and turn off the tv, standing up to look at him. "give me a minute, i'm going to go change into some pajamas, okay?”

"o-okay," he answers, nodding. “'i'II be waiting for you and-," he adds quickly after, lowering his voice even though you're the only two people in the apartment, "we'll just sleep, okay? so don't get the wrong idea."

there's a slight red tint to his cheeks, but he continues to look at you. your eyes widen at his response, quickly turning and shuffling to your room. was he really thinking about stuff like that? with you? you hadn't even thought about him in that way before, not since the apartment complex assigned you two to be roommates, but now your skin is burning bright red as you change into your pajamas.

a soft silence fills the apartment, as if the only sound that was allowed to exist is the small noises of you changing your clothes so you can share the bed with asahi.

"she's getting changed," he mumbles quietly to himself, "she's still tired and we're just sharing the bed. nothing more. nothing more.”

i'm being stupid, you think to yourself.

he's just looking out for his roommate, nothing more.

you change quickly into your pajamas, walking back out to the living room and turning to find asahi. he’s is sitting up, his legs crossed with an arm tucked under his head, trying his best to look awake, even though you can tell he just wants to lay back and sleep.

his expression softens when he sees you back in the room. “ready?” pulling down the bottom of your nightgown, you nod your head and start walking towards him after you shut your bedroom door.

now you're the one making asahi nervous. he shifts slightly, standing up and freezing in place. his tone is quiet and he tries to keep his eyes from wandering to your nightgown for more than a few seconds. don't do anything stupid, he thinks to himself, you're just two roommates sharing a bed, this is nothing out of the ordinary. asahi doesn't say anything more, just staying quiet and waiting for you to stand next to him.

nodding your head, you walk towards him and he pulls you into a deep hug, your body is suddenly squeezed against his large chest. you hug him back when he pulls you in, feeling warm as your bodies press against each other.

he pulls back, grabbing your hand and starts to walk you towards his room.

when he opens the door, you suddenly realize that even though you were roommates, you have never been in his room before. his desk is covered in designs he was planning for work, and the rest of the room is all so clean in contrast to yours.

“whoa…”

staring down at the drawings on the desk, you can't help but gape. "you never let me see any of the designs while you're working on them, these are great asahi…” you notice he's gone silent, looking up to see him staring down at you in an awkward expression. he suddenly seems uncomfortable, not wanting to look in your direction now, yet he still grabs your hand tightly and leads you toward his bed. he's acting slightly odd now, but again, it's probably due to how late it is.

you sit on the edge of the bed and look back up at him with wide eyes as he turns to pull his long hair out of its bun, letting it drape around his face. pulling his t-shirt over his head, your body stiffens at his actions.

he's just trying to get comfortable for sleep, right?

the thought of him possibly sleeping shirtless right next to you makes your heartbeat quicken and the blood rush to your face. this is the first time you've seen his bare chest, and you can't bring yourself to look away. his body is even more built than you thought it'd be, with muscles everywhere you look and even a slight tan. he's a handsome man, you've always thought that, but you can't deny that he's suddenly become even more hot in front of you.

he doesn't say anything, and just gazes at you for a moment. his face, however, has become a little red as he holds his shirt. in other circumstances, his actions would probably come off as flirting and seductive... but this is asahi. he wouldn't flirt with his roommate. he most likely just wants to get dressed for the night. "i-i'm just getting comfortable for sleep," he says quickly after, his voice cracking a bit. "nothing unusual.”

your breath catches, your eyes widening as you slowly nod your head at him. you can't take your eyes off him, and you don't know what to do as he turns around. you don't say anything and your eyes wander from his muscular back to the way his long hair drapes over his bare arms and upper body, revealing more of his physique. as if by instinct, your mind goes to the idea of him in nothing but boxers. he sits on the bed beside you and then lays down, glancing over at you with a slightly nervous expression.

"t-the marks. on your body... what are the bruises from?” after the words leave your mouth, you freeze, realizing maybe you shouldn't have asked that. but you had never really seen him like this before, and definitely not this close. you scramble to cover up what you said quick in embarrassment.

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have asked. you... you used to play sports, right? there's pictures at your desk, they must be from that, yeah?” with the light remains of bruises scattering his legs and forearms, it catches your attention and it feels more like you're talking to them rather than him.

he's confused at your comments for a split second before he realizes what you're talking about, and his face becomes red. he suddenly sits up. "don't ask about that, it's not your business," he whispers. but when you mention the pictures to him, he sighs a little and closes his eyes for a moment. "yeah, i'm a former volleyball player," he says, his voice slightly shaky. "stopped playing as soon as i graduated high school.” you notice his shoulders slump a little.

your eyebrows furrow, looking up at him. "why'd you stop? it looks like you enjoyed it in the pictures, and i'm sure you were great.”

you notice that his expression softens a little. "i did enjoy playing, yeah," he says, his voice a bit quieter but still audible. "i wasn't amazing or anything, but i had a lot of fun with my friends.” he takes a moment to rub his eyes, looking tired again. "but then i got busy with life after graduating and, well..." he leaves his explanation hanging. "i don't wanna talk about this stuff now," he whispers, looking down. "i just... wanna sleep.”

“okay…” you whisper out, shuffling how you sit on the edge of the bed and playing with the edge of your nightgown. "how do you want to do this? w-want to lay down i mean. like… who goes where or whatever..." your face is burning again at your slip of words.

he looks over at you, taking in your appearance a little more. now that he's actually paying attention to you, he seems to notice a lot more details, like the way your hair falls over you, and the soft blush on your face, but he doesn't say anything. his only response is a nod as he moves to lay down on his back, leaving plenty of room between the two of you. he looks over at you for a moment and smiles warmly. "you can lay down next to me, if you want?”

you look up, staring at him before nodding and shuffling on the bed to lay down next to the wall. asahi reaches over to the nightstand, turning off the lamp and laying back down under the blankets. the room turns quiet as you fall asleep, dark and still as your breathing evens out and you both lull to sleep.

it's calm for a while, silent before your body jolts as you wake up suddenly, panting and looking around. you take a moment to try and calm yourself down, your mind racing with thoughts as your eyes dart around the room, but everything is dark.

you're suddenly aware of asahi next to you, still asleep with his arms wrapped around a pillow. he's quiet and still, the faint scent of his shampoo lingering in the air. your heart begins to slow down and your breathing, along with your thoughts, becomes steady. your head leans back towards the ceiling, letting out a sigh as you turn to look at asahi.

you tap his shoulder lightly, trying to wake him up. you feel bad doing it, he looks so peaceful and you could tell he was tired, but you need something. someone. him. "a-asahi? are you awake?”

he seems a bit surprised as you tap his shoulder, but he slowly wakes up and looks over at you. his expression becomes a little confused and groggy. "what's wrong?" he asks, sounding half asleep and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. he looks rather tired from the lack of sleep, moving slightly to get a bit closer to you. "is everything okay? do you need something?”

"i-i... i'm sorry, i shouldn't have woken you up. it's nothing.” you scramble back to your side of the bed, turning away and pulling your legs into your chest.

stupid, stupid, stupid…

"it's okay," asahi says, trying to comfort you. "you don't need to apologize for that. we're roommates, you know? do you want to tell me what the issue is?" his voice is quiet and soothing, trying to make you feel better. he seems to notice how you're sitting away from him, your body slightly shaking. "hey, come here, " he whispers, scooting over to make room for you again. "i don't think you need to stay away.”

"i-i keep having nightmares... every night since i've moved... and it keeps happening more and more. i can’t sleep anymore...” you roll over to look up in his eyes. “that's why i was up earlier. i don’t- i can't... i'm sorry.”

asahi thinks about your words for a moment and then scoots a bit closer again in order to put an arm around you. "hey, it's alright," he whispers, his voice sounding soft and caring. "i'm here for you, if you need me. i'm here for you.”

"you didn't do anything wrong, you hear me?" he sounds comforting as he pulls your body a little closer to his. "you want me to hold you? can i do that for you?" his tone switches from formal to much more intimate, catching you by surprise. you nod your head, ducking it and tucking into his chest. he's warm, and even though his chest is covered with muscles, he still feels soft. you feel his arm slip over your shoulders as he pulls you closer to his body, wrapping the blankets around both of you. your bodies are closely pressed against each other, your breathing in sync. after silence settles for a minute with only your breaths being heard, you speak up quietly.

"it's funny, i've been your roommate for over a month now, but tonight was the first time i've ever seen your room, and we honestly know nothing about each other.”

once you speak up, asahi sighs a little. "i guess that's true…" he whispers, his voice full of tiredness. “we’ve lived together that long but we really know nothing about each other, huh...” he smiles slightly and caresses your hair. "it does sound a bit funny, now that you mention it.”

"maybe that's why i keep having nightmares... staying in a new place with someone i don't know…” you whisper it under your breath, more to yourself than to him, but it was the truth. you barely know anything besides how each other look and each other’s daily schedules.

your words seem to have been loud enough for asahi to hear, his hand moving from your hair to your lower back as he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you even closer than before.

"maybe that really is the issue." he sounds a little more awake than he was before now, his eyes open wider. "it wouldn't make sense to have all these nightmares if you weren't worried about anything.”

"but that's not a concern at all. " he continues. "i'm not a threat to you, am i?" his expression has gone from being sleepy to a bit more serious, yet still calm. you start to feel how tightly he's holding you in his arms as you bury your face in his shoulder, his body so warm, and his breathing, though quiet, is slow and steady.

your face starts burning in embarrassment even more as you tuck your face further into him. "you did scare me a bit when i first moved here, you look kinda intimidating sometimes.”

"you think i look intimidating? why?" he asks, his voice a bit surprised and confused. "i'm not a scary guy, you know that, right?” he lets out an awkward laugh and adjusts his arm around your waist. “my friends say i’m actually quite the softie.”

a giggle leaves your throat as you finally look up, staring into his eyes. "nah, i’m not scared anymore. you're like... i dunno. a big teddy bear, i guess. bears that look big and scary, but are actually cuddly sweeties, unless you piss them off.”

asahi smiles as you look up at him, his expression now softer. "that's actually a really cute analogy," he says, his voice full of warmth. “guess i see what you mean though," he says, smiling warmly at you. "i am a big guy, so..." he lets out a small snicker again.

his arm moves from your waist to your leg as he places his free hand underneath your head and pulls you closer still.

feeling his hands move across your skin like that makes your eyes suddenly squeeze shut and your breath catch slightly. "d-definitely a big guy…”

"what'd you think of me? what animal do you think i'm like?" your eyes flutter back open, staring up into his. you can almost feel his eyes wander your body, exploring every inch of your skin with a look of interest, as if he was trying to memorize everything about you.

"hmm... what kind of animal would you be? well…” he takes a moment to think. "you're kinda like a rabbit, to be honest with you," he says, his voice having changed from soothing and calm to a bit more intimate. "cute and adorable, with those big, lovely eyes of yours.”

he lets out a soft chuckle again as he continues, "yeah, you're a rabbit." he looks down at you again. "is that okay with you?" his hand moves down your thigh as he speaks, caressing your leg and making his way toward the hem of your nightgown.

staring into his eyes, you can't help the shiver that runs across your body from his touch. "but don't bears eat bunnies?" you whisper up at him.

he lets out a small laugh again at your comment and his eyes travel your body more. as his hand reaches the hem of your nightgown, your skin bristles under his touch. "not this bear," he continues, his voice quiet and calming. “i won't eat you, no. so don't worry about it.” he shifts his body a little once again and suddenly pulls you even closer to him as his free hand slides up your leg a tiny bit further. "shall i show you how gentle i truly am?" he whispers.

"maybe..." you whisper back, your breaths deep as you feel his hands against your skin, trying to calm yourself as much as you can. your face immediately burns red at your own words, embarrassed in anticipation for his response.

his smile becomes slightly wider as he hears your last words, his free hand slowly and softly trailing your leg as his eyes become wider and more intense. "did i hear you correctly, little bunny?" he whispers, his voice barely audible. "do you want me to do that?” the hand caressing your leg moves up a bit more and starts to pet your thigh, his fingernails barely touching your skin.

you nod your head lightly, arching your back and letting out a small whimper when you feel his hand pulling away.

am i seriously doing this?

but he's just so...

"big teddy bear can do whatever he wants.”

his smile becomes wider and his face slowly moves closer to yours. "i’m going to be very gentle with you. very, very gentle.” he whispers, his voice very soft but still a bit more intimate than before.

the sound of the bed sheets rustling and the blankets being adjusted is heard as asahi moves himself closer to you and shifts himself to have better access to your body. his hand moves back up your thigh and touches your nightgown again, making his fingers skim over you.

you can’t help but squirm when you feel his big hands ghosting your skin, fingers playing with your nightgown, staring up into his pretty brown eyes as you nod your head.

“more.”

your words make his smile widen and his eyes look more alive. his touch becomes a little more firm and his breathing becomes a bit heavier. "tell me what to do, little bunny." his voice is barely audible as his body moves slightly on top of you, waiting for your instructions, looking down at you with his hands still on your legs and his breath catching slightly in his throat. a small whimper leaves your mouth as you stare up at him, his long hair hanging down, framing your face.

"want teddy bear to kiss me." you whisper under your breath.

“i can do that," he whispers, looking at you intently. he leans down closer and places a small kiss on your lips, his hand moving up your thigh slowly. his lips are soft, gentle and almost scared against yours. they linger on yours for a few seconds before pulling away.

“what else?” his body moves closer to you once again as his hand reaches the bottom of your nightgown and he starts to lift it up a little. "tell me what you want, little bunny.” he whispers, his voice now sounding just a bit more desperate.

your breathing is getting heavier, your eyes unable to separate from his.

“again.”

your answer makes him lean down and claim your lips for a second time. his hand sneaks under your nightgown and moves it upward, his touch becoming a little more firm. still as gentle as he can make it, but definitely more firm than before.

"like that, sweetheart?" he whispers, his voice sounding more desperate by the second as his breath catches in his throat. his eyes are glued to yours and his body shifts a little bit on top of yours. "do you want me to keep going?" he asks softly.

you nod your head quickly, not wanting him to stop. "uh huh, please.” you arch your back as you felt his hands getting higher while they pull at your nightgown, aiding him as he tries to lift it.

he grins at you and moves his free hand to your thigh before pulling on your nightgown once again. he lets out a soft groan as your body curves ever so slightly from your movements. "you're a really good girl, little bunny." he whispers as he continues, bringing you even closer. "you like when your big teddy bear kisses you, don't you?"

"i'll give you more, sweetheart.”

a long whine leaves your mouth as you feel a sudden chill when the fabric of your nightgown is lifted higher, his flingers tracing lines across your skin, making you want more and more from him. "pleaseee, want you so bad.”

"i love you, little bunny."

as soon as the words pass through his lips his face looks more anxious. "i really do love you, you know that, right?” he whispers as his hand continues to move your nightgown up more and more, his fingertips touching and caressing every inch of skin they can reach within reason. your own breathing is heavy now, as you're barely managing to control your own desires at this point. "do you want me to kiss you again?”

you nod your head rapidly, not wanting him to stop. his lips are addicting, you can't help it.

“more.”

the sound of the fabric moving and rustling is loud in the otherwise quiet room as his hand manages to pull the nightgown just a little bit higher than before. he leans over you and places his lips on yours for a third time, his tongue slowly slipping out and brushing against your lips as his body presses against yours, his free hand caressing your body.

you can't help but moan when you feel his tongue slip in and brush against yours, moving in your mouth in a way that makes you melt in his arms even more. it's like your tongues were made for each other, fitting in the other's mouth perfectly. at the sound of your moans, he smiles widely against your lips as his tongue continues to dance with yours. as if he's been waiting to kiss you like this, as if he's been missing something from his life and you're finally filling that gap.

his hand holds on tight to your body, like he's finally fulfilling one of his dreams. you're breathless, and so is he. "do you want more? little bunny?” you're panting, gazing back up into his deep chocolate eyes. the higher his hands run under your nightgown, the more your body shivers, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you lean up to press a small kiss on his stubbly chin.

he lets out a soft groan when you kiss him, looking all the more hungry as he stares at you. his breathing is more frantic, as if he's just found the missing thing he's been looking for. "god, you're just so damn beautiful," he whispers to you, his other hand starting to move the fabric of your nightgown up higher and higher. he seems to be in a hurry despite already managing to reach your thighs, and the way he glances at you tells you that he seems to be contemplating whether or not to really do it…

"do you want me to take off your nightgown?”

a small breath leaves your mouth when you hear what he says. you knew that the situation was growing heavier, and you couldn't deny that you wanted asahi, but you didn't think that he'd actually ask you something like that.

"d-do you want to?”

asahi looks at you for a moment, his body pressed against yours and his fingers hovering above your clothes. his eyes travel to the nightgown that's barely covering you. the way his eyes dart from the nightgown to your face shows how conflicted he feels, and after a moment of silence, his eyes finally find yours once again.

his voice is barely audible when he speaks, as if that question itself scares him a bit. "i do... i really do, baby.” he closes his eyes and looks away for a moment before opening them again. "but only if you really want it." as he speaks, his hand lightly caresses your leg. "can i take off your nightgown, sweetheart?”

your breathing is heavy, and you stare into his eyes as you nod your head slowly, grabbing his hand and pulling it towards the fabric at the edge of your nightgown.

asahi’s eyes light up when he sees what you're attempting to do, his hand moving slowly as he takes hold of the rim of your nightgown. he takes a moment before slowly starting to lift it upwards, not taking his eyes off yours at any moment. he doesn't pull it off all at once- he does it slowly, slowly revealing pieces of your skin as he goes. with a small smile and the occasional gasps and moans, it's obvious that both him and you like this.

as the fabric is slowly raised, you're exposed to the cold air of the bedroom, and it tickles your skin, making you shiver under his light touch. you can't help but let a small whimper escape your lips as you stare up at his focused expression. he pulls the fabric further and further, allowing your body to become fully exposed to his gaze- your skin bare, exposed, vulnerable.

"do you like this, sweetheart?” asahi asks, his voice more quiet than ever. he moves his face close to yours and gives you a quick kiss on your lips. "i want to see you up close. can i?" he whispers.

a moan slips through your mouth from his movements, his words, everything happening at once. "please.”

he breathes deeply and moves his face away, looking at you for a moment before leaning down towards you again. his voice is quiet, full of affection, and he drags his thumb across your lips as moves his mouth back to your ear. "little bunny, i want you to feel good..." he whispers.

"i want you to feel good with your big teddy bear.” he moves your hair away from your face and leans his face close to yours again, his fingers petting your lips. "can we keep going? would you like that?”

the calluses on his fingers scrapes at your lips, but for some reason, it makes everything even more exciting. you reach your hands up, trailing them over his chest to link around his shoulders, and whisper out a small “yes.”

his heartbeat becomes quicker as you place your hands on his body, his breathing faster and he lets out a small, quiet moan before leaning forward and placing his lips on your own again. his hands slowly move down until they reach your bare chest. his fingers brushing against your skin as he continues kissing you with everything he can pour out of himself.

you can’t help but moan into his mouth when you feel his large hands ghosting your tits, the touches so light it tickles your skin and makes you whine for more.

his lips never leave yours as he kisses you with all his enthusiasm and passion, his hands slowly and carefully mapping your bare skin, as if he's afraid he'd accidentally hurt you. your moans and whimpers makes him feel the need to do even more as he kisses you harder and more eagerly than before, feeling like he's trying to memorize your taste. your fingers move into his hair and you pull him closer.

the feeling of his lips linked with yours and his hands caressing your bare skin sends sensations throughout your entire body. it makes your legs quiver and you struggle to maintain control over your own body while he continues to kiss you. when he finally pulls back to take a breath, you’re panting with your head rolled back, a smile beginning to spread across your face.

"such a teddy bear," you breathe out with your eyes shut, chuckling slightly under your breath.

his face is bright red and his breathing is a bit shaky, but he doesn't feel the need to say anything yet as he places his hand back on your chest and lightly squeezes your tits. "such a good little bunny," he whispers. “i've wanted to do this with you for so long." his voice is still very soft, his smile beaming. “are you happy? can i kiss you again?" he asks, his voice filled with desire.

a giggle leaves your mouth as you finally open your eyes again, looking up at him. you slowly reach your hand up, weaving it through his long hair and smile back at him. "definitely happier now, asahi." you nod your head and lean up until your lips meet, kissing him again.

when his lips once again meet yours, they clash with more intensity than before. his tongue slips out quickly, smashing with yours, his fingers moving down your body once again as he begins rubbing your bare back. "you're so beautiful when you're smiling like that, you know that right?” he whispers against your lips, his voice sounding more like a murmur. "you're so perfect when your voice is filled with little giggles and your face has that cute smile.” his thumb strokes your back as he leans back down, his tongue continuing to map your mouth.

you can’t help but blush at what he's saying, already feeling lightheaded by everything happening, and now feeling even more on edge through the kiss. your fingers tangle in his hair, trying to drag him somehow even closer as you wrap your leg around him. with a little giggle, he lets himself be pulled closer as you continue kissing him. he wraps his arms around your body and pulls you even more, pressing your bodies together more and more the longer the kiss lasts. your breathing is heavy, and the kiss is getting more passionate as your tongues play with each other. small sounds of pleasure escape your lips when he pulls his tongue away from yours. "can i be a bit more... bold... this time, little bunny?" he whispers.

you smile up at him through heavy breaths, trying to somehow think straight. "how can you be more bold than this?”

he grins as he gives you a small, teasing smirk. "there's much more i can do than just kiss you, little bunny. can i please show you what i can do?" he whispers, his voice full of affection and desire. his hands continue to caress your body, moving up and down as he gently strokes you. "can i touch you more? can we go further than just kisses and little touches? sweetheart, please let me see all of you.”

you melt into his gentle touches, smiling. opening your eyes to stare back into his as your nails trail slowly from his scalp, along his shoulders, down his back. "teddy bear can do whatever he wants to do to me.”

asahi lets out a small moan when you drag your nails down his body, his hands continuing to caress you, his voice becoming more desperate. "i want to touch your pussy, sweetie,” he whispers as his face somehow becomes even more red. "will you let me touch you there? little bunny, please? can i see you, all of you?”

a small shiver runs through your body as you hear his words and feel his hands moving across your skin.

this is too good.

"y-you can... if you take off your sweatpants too. so we're even..." a blush runs down your skin at his words and touches, but you want him so much.

his cheeks become a little more red as you say this, but he quickly nods at you and begins removing his sweatpants. "anything for you, little bunny.” his hands move from your body and he slides his sweatpants down, revealing his toned legs and tight underwear. the sight in front of you makes your breath catch- his arms flexing as he pulls his sweatpants off, showing his thick, muscular thighs that make you whimper. as he crawls back onto the bed, it displays his muscles and sends shivers down your spine. he sits down next to you and slowly caresses your body again, his touch a little more intimate now, his gaze filled with love and affection. "sweetheart, can i touch you now?”

when you feel his big hands lightly smoothing the skin on your tummy, your heartbeat starts speeding up- but when you hear him speak and look up into his big kind eyes, you immediately calm.

his touch gets more firm and intimate as his hands move up your torso, towards your breasts. your can feel his hands caressing your skin, gently stroking your tits with his callused fingers, making them move ever so slightly. this time, the sounds coming from your lips sound more like moans than anything.

"they're so pretty, little bunny." asahi whispers as he continues caressing you. as he speaks, his hands continue to caress your skin, as if he’s worshiping your body with every touch. then, once he's close enough, he leans forward and takes one of your tits into his mouth, suckling it lightly. you can't help the long whine that slips from your mouth at the feeling, him rolling the nipple between his lips. when he pulls back, a small line of saliva connects it to his mouth.

"little bunny, your skin is so soft…” his voice is soft with a smile as he continues caressing your body. his touch is still light, but you can tell he wants to do so much more. his hands start trailing lower and lower until his fingers touch the edge of your panties. "can i touch you down there, little bunny? can i touch you there and show you how much i love you?" his words are quiet, eyes glued to his hands as they tremble.

"please, asahi." you whisper out. you can tell he's nervous, and you can’t take your eyes off of him. with a quick nod, his hands move beneath the waistband of your panties, his fingers slowly moving across the surface of your skin as he pulls them down.

"i'll make you feel good, little bunny…” his voice is quiet and filled with desires he's wanted to fulfill for so long. "do you... do you want me, little bunny? do you want me to touch your pussy and show you how good it can feel?" he whispers softly as his fingers continue moving, lightly trailing across your folds, searching for the perfect spot.

your back arches and you can’t help but squirm under his touch, his big, warm hands pawing at you and turning you into mush. "yesss, want teddy bear to touch me." you’re mewling from his touch, his words.

"please, daddy.” you whisper with your eyes squeezed shut.

asahi’s head snaps up to look at you as you call him that, and a huge blush spreads across his face. his voice becomes even quieter than before when he speaks again. "little bunny, can you... call me that again? can you call me daddy, please?”

as he speaks, his long, thick fingers slip into your pussy, sinking deeper and deeper, searching for the perfect spot. he's using so much restraint now, as if he's afraid of moving too fast for you, your sounds and words turning him into a complete mess.

his thumb brushes against your clit and makes your vision go blank, your body tensing up, flinging your head back into the pillow below as you cry out. "there! right there, daddy!”

his breath catches when your voice peaks and your body tenses under his touch. "right there, little bunny?" he whispers, still unable to believe that you just called him “daddy”, and how loud you were when you did it. you were always so quiet, but your moans and whimpers are making him weak on his knees.

his thumb continues to circle your clit, his other fingers reaching deep to rub the inside of your pussy as he keeps up with the movement you like so much. "d-don't stop asahi." you whine out, your eyes fluttering back open to stare at his face. "s...so good.”

"i... i won't stop. i promise.” his hands keep going, his fingers moving with rhythm and a pace that makes you mewl. he presses his lips against your neck and whispers in your ear. "little bunny, do you feel all hot and tingly down there? do you feel it building up?”

"i do, i do!” you cry out, your cunt feeling like it's burning under his touch, your breathing getting quicker and quicker. he tilts his head and takes a small kiss, a little teasing nip on your neck as he leans over you again. "tell me how good it feels…”

"f-feels a-amazing." you stutter, turning into a mumbling mess under his hands. his fat fingers feel like fire against your skin, and he continues to make you feel good, slowly moving his fingers in circles and caressing the same spot over and over again. his breaths become louder as he puts as much attention as he can into making you feel good.

"i want you to tell me when you're about to cum." his voice becomes softer and softer as he speaks. “little bunny, can you please tell daddy when you feel it?" his hands are slightly trembling now as he continues moving his fingers back and forth, massaging your cunt to the sound of your moans.

you nod your head quickly, mewling under his touch. "c-close daddy, i’m close.”

his lips curl up into a smile as he hears your words, his touch becoming more intense and aggressive in attempt to make you feel the best he can. "that's it, little bunny." he whispers. "keep going. keep going. i'm right here…” your body starts trembling and your breaths grow louder. you're so close now, and you might not be able to hold back for much longer.

your body suddenly tenses up, squeezing in on itself as you subconsciously curl your limbs together. a long and loud cry escapes your mouth as you start shaking around his fingers.

“asahiiiii!”

his own voice breaks as he hears you cry out his name. "yes, baby! you can do it!"

"mhm... yes, little bunny..." he leans closer towards you and holds you close, kissing you for a few long seconds before whispering into your ear once again. "let it go, sweetie. let it go." his words and touches are filled with love and affection, your arms clinging to him as your body begins to calm down, whimpers spilling from your mouth as you look up at him with shaky eyes.

he's blushing when he looks back at you with a huge smile. "you did it… good job, little bunny." he whispers, as his damp fingers slowly slipping out and moving to caress your thigh. "does it feel good now? do you…” he slowly sits back on his knees, moving close to you and caressing your hair as your head rests on his chest. "tell me. how do you feel now? was it good, princess?" he whispers, sounding a bit nervous.

you look up at his flustered face and nod in response. "uh huh… yeah.” you stare at him for a while, looking his body up and down before taking notice of something and whispering, "you didn't get to do anything though, did you?”

his face becomes slightly redder as you point that out to him. "eh... n-no, not really... but that's okay! you don't have to do anything for me." he whispers, and the way he's looking at you is different than before. he wraps his arms around your body and hugs you tight, kissing the top of your head. "is there... anything i can do for you? is there anything you want from me?”

you tilt your head up to look at him. “but that's not fair for you. i want my teddy bear to be happy too, like you made me." you can’t help the look of innocence on your face- he deserves to feel like that too.

his blush gets deeper when you point that out to him. "i... no, no, it's okay. i don't need to feel good right now." he whispers, still trying to avoid the situation. but when he sees that innocent look on your face, he gives up and slowly leans down towards you.

"okay, fine! you can… reward me then, princess." his voice becomes slightly breathy by the way you're looking at him. "can i have your mouth then, please?"

a small smile spreads across your face when you hear his response, nodding your head. "anything you want, asahi.”

his lips slowly and lightly press against yours as he leans to kiss you. this isn't the heated make-out session you just had with him- this is slow, tender. one hand slowly trails down from your hair to your back, gently caressing you, his other hand holding you close to his body. his eyes slowly close and his heart flutters with excitement. "you're so beautiful, princess." he murmurs softly as his lips remain pressed against yours.

you can feel his scruff tickling your chin as he whispers, and it makes you giggle lightly. you shuffle around so you can sit up a little better, making it easier for him to reach your mouth without making him lean down so far. it's impossible not to melt into his soft kisses, and it makes you feel like you were almost… connected. he continues slowly kissing you as you move, making sure to adjust his head just right to make you feel comfortable. his tongue slowly touches your lips, teasing them and causing you to smile- this is much more intimate than the other kisses. "do you want to lay back down, princess?" he whispers lightly.

"mmm hmm…” you mumble against his lips, following his movements as he begins to rotate how you sit. his strong arms slide down to wrap around your waist as he lowers you onto your back, towering over you as your lips remain connected. his arms slowly move away from your waist and caress your body as his lips move from your mouth to your neck to press gentle, soft love bites. "you taste so good..." he whispers, his head moving up and down your body. "i want so much more, princess.”

you can’t help but moan as you feel his mouth suck and nibble at your collarbones, the feeling so good as his body heat spreads across yours. "teddy bear can do whatever he wants- it's your turn." you breathe out.

asahi suddenly freezes, looking up slowly and smiling when he hears your words. "do you mean... you'll let me…" he pauses for a tiny moment, a small bit of hope shining in his eyes. “i can do whatever i want? i can play with you however i want?”

a smile spreads across your face and a small giggle escapes when you hear his response. he's so cute.

"yes asahi.”

his eyes light up and his entire face becomes bright red when he hears your giggle. "thank you, little bunny..." he breathes out. his fingers start trailing across your body once more, his movements becoming quicker and more eager. "are you ready, princess? just let me know if it's too much and i'll stop, please tell me if you feel any pain." his words are spoken with so much affection and worry, his eyes lidded as he continues to explore your body.

"i think i'm ready." you say, looking up at him with a smile. "i'Il tell you, i promise.”

his fingers and mouth keep moving across your body, suckling your skin and leaving kisses. "good, princess. good, good…” he whispers, his voice filled with affection. he can't help but feel giddy as he continues touching your body, feeling you react to his touch. his hand goes back up to your hair and he gives it a gentle stroke as he lifts his head. "just tell me if it starts to hurt, okay, princess?”

you nuzzle his hand as it strokes your hair, giving a small nod in response as you lift your legs. hiking them around his back, you begin to tug and play with the waistband of his boxers with your toes.

his eyes widen and a huge smile appears on his face. "oh? is baby bunny helping me with something?" his fingers move away from your hair and he gently grabs and slightly pulls his boxers down. "are you trying to get rid of these, princess?" he whispers, a big smile on his face as he watches you. "do you want me to be fully naked for you too, little bunny?”

"uh huh." you murmur under your breath as you watch his hands grabbing the waistband, slowly lowering your legs back down to the mattress to give him easier access. "daddy bear's being too slow.”

asahi can't help but laugh when you call him “daddy bear". he smiles down at you as he throws his boxers to the side and then sits back down next to you. he leans forwards and gives you a quick kiss on your cheek. "is there anything else you want, little bunny? anything else you need from your daddy bear?”

you reach your hand over and brush some of his fallen hair out of his face, taking your time to look him over with wide eyes. he's big- that was a given though. thick length and a fat sack, you can tell he’s going to stretch you out, and it makes your breath catch for a second. you weren't sure what you were expecting, but he's definitely better than you imagined. "j-just want you to be happy... i want you, asahi.”

"oh, i know... i want you a lot too, princess. is… is that okay? can i have you?" he asks softly. his heart starts to beat extremely fast in his chest, his face bright red as if he's ashamed to ask. when he speaks, he's as soft as before, his voice gentle and filled with love and affection. "is it okay if i have your body, little bunny?” he asks, his eyes fluttering closed to avoid looking at you for a moment.

you slowly reach over towards him, grasping his hand with yours and pulling it from where it sat on his leg. holding your hands together, you stare at him as you slowly reach your conjoined hands downward until your fingers start to wrap around his cock. "yes, asahi." you breathe out.

his voice is soft and gentle as he finally opens his eyes again to look at you, watching as you grab ahold of his cock in a gentle, tight grip. he shivers under your touch, and a small groan escapes him. "oh my- oh, god... oh my god, princess…” he grips the bed sheets tightly.

“good… good, little bunny."

you move your hand up and down slowly, pumping his fat cock to the noises that escape his mouth. the sounds he's making are so hot, you can't help but groan from hearing them.

"is it okay, asahi?” you whisper out, adjusting your hand in attempt to fit fully around his throbbing thickness.

he doesn't respond for a few moments, his breath coming out as little whimpers. "is it okay? no, no, it's okay…” his words sound muffled as his voice becomes filled with desire. he closes his eyes again as his face turns completely red. "it's more than okay, little bunny, it's amazing- i…” his voice stays soft and gentle, but he doesn't try to hide how good he feels from your touch.

"your grip is so s-soft, and it feels... i-i'm gonna…” you start feeling him begin to tense up, and you yank your hand away quickly, stopping the movements immediately.

"no! baby, no, don't stop!” he sounds desperate as he opens his eyes to look at you. "it... i... it felt so good! what are you doing, princess?" he whines, his voice filled with anxiety now. "please don't stop, princess, please! i was so close, it felt so good…”

you can’t help the small giggle that leaves your mouth when you see his response.

he's so cute when he's worried.

"don't want you to finish in my hands, asahi. i think... i think i want you to…" a blush spreads across your face as you look down, unsure how to express what you want to say.

his expression relaxes and his eyes become soft as they look at you, moving his fingers through your hair to reassure you.. "you want me to...? little bunny, do you want... me to... inside you?” his voice is slightly unsure, but excited as he begins to connect the dots to what you want. "i... i want to, yes, but are you sure little bunny? do you think you're ready for it?” he sounds concerned despite how much he wants it, because he's afraid he'll hurt you. if you ask him, he'll give you everything you want, but he's still scared he'll make a mistake or be too rough.

you nod your head quickly in return, watching the emotions change across his face. "i'm ready asahi, i want you." you can't separate your eyes from his. "need you.”

the way you're looking at him pushes him over the edge, and without another word, he quickly rolls over so that he's hovering over you. his legs slowly slide into position and he reaches down to lift your legs up on his shoulders. "little bunny, you're so amazing," he whispers, his eyes still locked on yours as he slowly moves closer to you. he moves his head down to your chest and begins to kiss you passionately at the neck, his breath becoming deeper with each passing moment. "i need you too, princess.”

you can’t help but whimper when his lips attach to your neck again, your legs hiked over his shoulders in a foreign position you’d never been in before. "pleaseee, asahi!" you whine out, his tongue and lips gently licking and suckling your skin as he slowly moves back up your body. his face is right next to your ear, the heat of his breath tickling you as his voice becomes softer.

"yes, princess, i'm right here.” his arms wrap around you once again as he gently pulls you closer to him and kisses you. "can i? can i cum in you, little bunny?" he whispers against your lips, his fingers trailing across your body as he waits for your answer.

you nod your head rapidly, whimpering as you feel his touches. "uh huh, yes, please.” your words are coming out fast and slurred, whining in want for him.

his whole face lights up as he hears your answer and he slowly starts to move himself lower, making sure that you'll be comfortable the whole time. "okay, okay, just relax, princess. just let daddy take care of you.”

"just tell me if i’m doing too much, okay, baby bun?" his voice is soft and gentle as he tries to calm you. if this is what you want, and you're okay with it, then he's okay with it too.

"i-i will, daddy.” your voice comes out like a whisper, yearning for his touch as you watch him line up. he shivers when you say "daddy", and you see his legs tremble a little once he's finally in position. his fingers run through your hair as he takes a deep breath in.

"okay. i'm... i'm ready, princess.” he leans forwards and kisses you gently, his eyes closing as he moves closer. "just... breathe, okay, little bunny?”

your breath catches when you feel him push forward and into you, your eyes rolling back and clenching shut at the wide stretch. “a-a-asahi!"

he lets out a quiet groan when he hears your voice break, his body quivering and his lips trembling as he stares at you affectionately. he pushes in slowly, allowing your body time to adjust to the sensation as he feels you clenching around him.

"is... is everything okay, princess?" he asks softly, his own voice shaky with nerves and excitement. he's moving very slowly in an effort to be gentle, wanting to take his time and try not to hurt you. "are you okay? does it feel good, little bunny?” he whispers, his fingers moving back up your body to massage your hip. "just tell me if it's too much for you, okay?” he looks down at you as he slowly begins to pull back. "just... breathe, baby. just breathe-"

"s-so..." your mouth hangs open, panting as you try to compose yourself. “you…you’re s-so thick, asahi…”

his face becomes completely red as soon as he hears your words and he freezes up. “p-princess? p-please? don't say that aloud..." his head is shaking and his eyes are wide, filled with embarrassment at your words. he slowly reaches up and covers your mouth with his large hand to keep your voice down. "we don't... no... we don't talk like that out loud, little bunny, alright? do you understand?" he whispers, his voice sounding so flustered.

he's so cute when he's embarrassed

a whimper escapes your mouth, opening your eyes to look up at him. "i-it's okay, asahi..." you try to speak from behind his hand, muffled from his attempt to make you quieter.

"i... alright..." his fingers slowly leave your mouth and travel back down your body, his hand moving to your ass and squeezing it as he starts to move his hips.

"what do you need, little bunny?" he asks gently, his head leaning down to rest between your breasts. "i want to give you anything… just tell me and i'll give it to you.”

you try to steady your breathing as you get used to how he feels, relaxing and becoming less tense under his touch. “i w-want you to feel good.”

tilting your head down to look where he rests on your chest, you reach forward to stroke his hair. "you can do whatever you want, teddy bear.”

his eyes flutter open and he sees how close your bodies are, how gently you're touching him. he slowly moves his hand back down, wrapping it around your waist and pulling you closer. "i'm feeling more than fine, yeah? i feel amazing already." he smiles, moving his head back up towards yours again. “do you want me to go faster?"

you nod your head, staring back at him with a small smile creeping across your face. "that sounds good.”

"oh, good, because i'm going crazy." he chuckles, his voice filled with hunger for more of you. he pulls back before thrusting hard into you again, letting out a small, satisfied moan.

"you're so... god, so... tight..." he whispers, his voice shaking as his body quivers. he starts to rock his hips slowly, making sure he stays at a pace that'll suit you best. “is it okay if i suck on your neck, princess?" he whispers, looking at you with adoring eyes as he waits for your answer.

you can’t help but giggle back at him. "you really like teasing my tits and my neck, don't you teddy bear?”

"i do..." he murmurs softly, quickly leaning in to nibble the skin of your neck. his tongue gently licks the skin, leaving a trail of light, playful bites on it. "i just like playing with you, little bunny. i feel like i could play with you forever…” he whispers with a soft smile on his face.

he moves up and he continues to kiss you, his hands pressing down on the back of your thighs to keep you folded as he starts to thrust harder and faster. you can’t help the loud moans that escape your mouth from the actions he's making- his bites, his kisses, his hands, his thrusts. "ughhh! you're so g-good, asahi!” you whine with your head thrown back against the pillow.

his face blushes again, his eyes closed as he tries to focus on pleasing you. he can feel your cunt tightening and fluttering around him, and it makes him move a little faster, the pace finally accelerating to the point where he’s panting.

"little bunny, i'm getting close..." his voice is shaky, filled with excitement, eager to hear you.

you start nodding your head frantically, murmuring "uh huh~" over and over again under your breath. your breathing is heavy as your body starts to shake, whining nonstop. "do it, daddy! want you so bad…”

"little bunny, if you say that again, i’m gonna-!" he stops himself from saying anything else and his face flushes with embarrassment. “i-i'm close, princess…” he whispers, his voice quivering. asahi moves his head up to yours and he looks at you again with a worried look in his eyes. "i'm sorry, i can't- i can't hold back...”

he's so close now.

"pleaseee! asa-!" your loud whines are cut off with a choked cry as your body tenses up, your cunt walls fluttering and gripping his cock, squeezing hard, trying to pull him in deeper.

his whole face lights up with a smile as he wraps his arms tight around you and moves his face closer to yours. "h-holy-oh.." he slowly lets out some air and he snaps his hips faster now. "ah-ah-aha….. ah…” his face is a mix of multiple emotions by this point, so much going through his body at once. "oh god... oh my god, princess... i... i'm so close... i-”

his body tenses up as he lets out another loud moan of pleasure and freezes, his cock pulsing and twitching inside your pussy as he fills you with his hot cum. asahi’s face is completely red as his body trembles with pleasure, and he looks down at you with adoring, loving eyes. “p-princess... little bunny~.. oh my god, i…” he's so overwhelmed with everything, he just can't look anywhere other than your face, his mouth is hung open as he struggles to breathe properly.

you can feel his big hands that grip your arms shaking, his long hair dangling in your face and tickling your skin. both of your breathing is heavy and uneven, and you can’t stop staring up into his handsome face as you slowly lower your legs. "a-asahi? a-are you okay?”

he pulls you even closer to him, burying your face into his chest as he wraps his arms tightly around you once again. you can feel his heart beating rapidly, his body still in shock at what just happened, and he just can’t let go of you at all.

"little... little bunny..." his words come out in between deep breaths as he looks down at you with loving eyes. "i'm okay. never been better.”

you lay there, your head tucked into his chest for what feels like hours as your breaths grow even. stroking your hair, tight grip around your center, you were glued to his warm body."i don't think i'm going to have nightmares anymore…” you whisper out.

even as you feel his thick cock softening inside you, asahi never pulls out, and you stay connected as you finally lull into a state of calm. pulling on the blankets to cover the both of you, smiling softly and pressing a kiss on your forehead as he wraps his arms tighter around you. “you're my princess, okay? i'm here for you... forever,” he pulls you as close to his body as he can. "you're mine, and i'm yours to keep and love. we were... well... it was bound to happen.”

you can’t help but snuggle into his scruffy neck, your breaths slowing as you fall asleep against his warmth.

"sleep well, little bunny." his voice is calm and soft as he runs his fingers through your hair and pulls you even closer to him. he's your teddy bear, and he'll always take care of his little rabbit.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

a/n: sorry this one turned out so much longer than previous things i've written, i have no idea how tf it did lol. side note- i'm currently writing two other fics rn, and have another one in the "setup/planning" phase as well, so i guess look out for those soon haha. tag list (leave a comment if you wanna be added for future fics!)

@tsukiran @msbyomimi

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bountycancelled · 6 months

Text

LOST CAUSE

bada lee x reader (part 3)

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warnings: none I think, pls comment if there are any needed

content: angst on angst, confused gays, sad times for bada, a lil bit of ??? x reader, idek man just read it, unedited because I refuse to reread my own stories

bada couldn't concentrate.

that much was obvious to every student present in the class that she was currently attempting to teach, as well as her team members, two of which had to take over while she leaned against the wall, feigning supervision while thinking of, well, you.

she didn't know what to make of the last interaction you two had. or, rather, she knew exactly what to make of it, and she just didn't like the implications.

she was a bad friend.

although she was glad that you had confronted her about her tendencies, and she now had the opportunity to do better in the future, she couldn't help but wonder if you even wanted that.

but she couldn't lose you, she couldn't even bare the thought of it, that would be like a solar system without it's star, virtually useless and incomplete. she had to do better, before you... no, nope. you weren't going anywhere, not on her watch. she would redeem herself, whatever it took.

"bada!" she jumped at the sound of her own name, muffled by the thoughts racing through her mind, thoughts of you and only you.

"welcome back to earth." lusher said flatly, standing tall in front of where bada had chosen to sit on the floor in the corner of the studio, moping in her self inflicted sadness.

"you shouldn't be here, you know? you should be at home, talking to her." bada nodded solemnly, her gloomy expression thankfully covered by her bucket hat. "I know."

lusher nudged bada's knee with her foot repeatedly, earning an annoyed groan from bada who swatted her foot, but, she smiled for what was most likely the first time that day. "well, if you know that, then why are you here?"

"because she told me to go, I didn't wanna push her any further." bada said simply, her smile vanishing just as quickly as it arrived. how could she be happy at all, while knowing that she had been hurting you all this time?

lusher clicked her tongue, pulling bada up to her feet and placing her hands on her shoulders, speaking with a certain seriousness. "she didn't mean it. go, bada. I've known her long enough to know that she... sometimes has trouble telling you how she actually feels. classes end in 20 anyway."

she didn't need to be told twice. bada was off, fingers drumming nervously on the steering as the pit in her stomach grew and grew, and grew. god, she hoped that you were still there when she opened the door.

maybe you would be in one of her many oversized shirts, your perfect figure practically drowning as you cooked something up for yourself in the kitchen, mindlessly humming to a song as you stood in front of the stove, spatula in hand. and she could come up behind you, wrapping her arms around your middle, humming the same tune.

or maybe, you'd be furiously shouting at the TV, watching some horror movie that had stumbled upon, which would always do a better job of aggravating you than scaring you. and bada would sit next to you, pulling you into her lap as you took turns criticising the characters' stupid, plot driving decisions.

god, she wanted you, she needed you to still be there when she unlocked the door.

so that you could have a full conversation about everything, every issue, every minute problem, every feeling, all of it. you'd most likely tell her that you're not very fond of her right now, which would be completely understandable, and then she would apologise profusely, get on her knees and beg if that's what it took, and tell you how she felt, if you asked.

how did she even feel?

she loved you, of course. you had been her rock, a safe space for her to be her most authentic self. sometimes, she would all awake at night, filled with some indescribable emotion that she could only attempt to describe as pure love. just the thought that you were in her life was enough to almost make her chest explode with glee.

she was so sure that all those feelings were typical of people who had been close for years, but she wasn't as certain anymore. but that didn't matter right now, she would categorise and sort her feelings out after she fixed the rift that she had caused between the two of you.

you would be her first priority from now on, always.

☆

"you know, you need to stop doing that." minah's voice rang out, a knowing look on her face.

"she looked sad, and I knew why, so I gave her a little push." lusher shrugged, locking the class door behind her, falling into step with minah as her and the rest of the members clocked out for the day.

"that's not what I meant. it's great that you helped bada." minah corrected, hooking her arm with hers as they made their way to their homes.

lusher sighed in mock exasperation before questioning minah. "then what did you mean? I'm not in the mood for guessing games right now."

"I mean, that you can't keep sabotaging your own feelings for her sake." that only led to another sigh leaving lushers' mouth.

throughout the years of knowing you, lusher had developed some feelings for you, but it was nothing major. but another thing she had to live with as a result of knowing you this long, were your unwavering feelings for bada.

they were, at least in lushers' opinion, completely impenetrable. it's not like she didn't understand, bada certainly treated you in a vastly different, much more intimate and compassionate way than she did anyone else, so your feelings definitely weren't baseless.

she just didn't feel like messing with your heart even further by adding her silly schoolgirl crush into the mix of your love for bada and bada's inability to look inwards for fucking once.

if she was in bada's shoes, you would've never left the club upset, because she would've never said no to an opportunity to hang out with just you. but, you being upset at the club is what led to you spending the night at her house, so lusher was selfishly a little thankful that it happened, in a roundabout sort of way.

she had to fight the urge to be visibly giddy when she saw you in her shirt for the first time. god, it looked so much better on you, she's not even mad that you left with it.

"I just, don't wanna add any more to the craziness going on with her. and you know I have the worst timing imaginable, the second I decide to confess to her, bada's gonna barge into the room and profess her undying love and then they're gonna make out in front of me." lusher ranted slightly as they made they're way to her front door.

"that was oddly specific. have you thought about this before?" minah questioned while stifling a laugh, putting an arm around lushers' shoulders. "but if you're not going to confess which is fine, then you should consider maybe not playing cupid either, you're only hurting yourself. they'll get together on their own if it's meant to be."

lusher nodded, hugging minah goodbye before entering her apartment. she was right as always, lusher had a nasty habit of trying to push you and bada into each others arms. maybe it was guilt? she felt bad for even feeling the way she did about you, so she overcompensated by helping you get closer to your dream girl, bada.

she just didn't want to see you hurting, and if she had to choose between her feelings and yours, it wouldn't even be a question. which is why she convinced bada to go finish her conversation with you, because she knew that you weren't okay.

so imagine her surprise when she saw you, in her kitchen, in another one of her shirts.

her mouth fell when her eyes met yours. "what are you doing here?" she blurted out in a high pitched voice. no, no, no, this was not how it was supposed to go. you were supposed to be at bada's place, and you guys were supposed to work out all the kinks in your relationship, maybe even get into a relationship.

"I just wanted to hang out. sorry, I shouldn't have intruded." you said simply, looking through a cupboard for something to snack on.

she wanted to tell you that bada was currently at her apartment for you, a part of her even wanted to drive you there and push you even further away from her.

but, another part of her wanted to take in minahs' advice, and not do anything. if you wanted to hang out her, then so be it.

"there isn't much in there, I'll just order delivery."

a/n: love triangle alert!!!

#smau masterlist #smau #bada lee #bada lee x oc #bada lee x reader #bada x reader #masterlist #bada lee fanfiction #bada #bada lee x y/n #bada lee fluff #bada lee angst #bada lee fanfic

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thecameronchronicles · 1 year

Text

Neglect

TW: smut. Language.

SUMMARY: You make it up to JJ for being a bit absent lately.

WORD COUNT: 1300

Requested

Can u do one where reader has unintentionally been neglecting JJ and when she realizes it, she makes it up with sex. Maybe he'll be watching tv and she straddles him and hes like "what are u doing?" And he just keep praising her and saying "you're so good to me" you can change it if you want

Neglect

"It is NOT fair how hot you look in an apron...maybe just an apron..." His lips came to the opening of your neck allowed by your high ponytail. And even if the feeling of his lips to your skin made your eyes threaten to roll between tables, you had a task at hand.

"Sorry, J...we're swamped..." You explained while returning behind the bar of The Wreck to retrieve another order of the lunch rush. He waited until you returned before setting his lighter, he flicked when anxious, back into his pocket.

"Maybe you could sneak away for a break?" Kiara noticed something in his expression, the longing he made silent as you were too distracted to notice just how he watched it. It was one of the many reasons the other pogues adored you. You managed to make JJ distracted enough to keep from being obnoxious as he was too obsessed with you. But right now, you were too focused on the need for tips to give in to his tempting request.

"I can't...we need the tips..." You reminded as he slowly nodded.

"I can fill your tickets for a minute-" Kiara offered.

"No. I got it." You didn't mean to snap, retreating back to the rush and found JJ slowly nodding.

"Well I don't want to bother ya, princess." There came a slight sting from his words as he pressed a kiss to your cheek and you turned to find Kiara shaking her head.

"What?"

"Ten minutes wouldn't have mattered..."

"He knows we need this..."

"Look...he's been moping around for days...weeks even...I know you're busy with taking the double shifts and your papers for college...but you've been neglecting him..."

"I have not..." You groaned, filling up more cups before you realized she was right.

"Oh my God...I have..."

"Go...I've got this..."

"You sure?"

"If I have to see him like that for another minute, I swear I'm going to lose my mind...just...go..." Kiara forced you away as drive to The Chateau, where JJ was already positioned on the couch with a beer and some old movie he held little interest in. When you came in, you were quick to straddle him, his lips captivated by yours as you felt him form immediately between your thighs. His ringed fingers rode up your legs and gripped onto your hips before he pulled back.

"Whoa sweetheart, don't you have a lunch rush to deal with?"

"You're always so good to me, J..." You ignored his words as laced kisses along his jaw and neck as he moaned beneath you, reclining against the couch and taking you with him as you rested more comfortably over him.

"I'm so sorry I've been so busy...but you have my full attention..."

"What about your boss? He's an ass-" You unbuttoned your uniform shirt and distracted him with your bra, his favorite color worn in lace. His lips traced the mounds before you rode against him to endorse him, his smirk against your skin then mirroring one of your own.

"Kie took over for me..."

"Remind me to thank her..." He grinned, reaching behind to your clasp as you slipped out of the bra and allowed him his fun with your breasts. You moaned as he took you between his teeth, your nipples sensitive and tight to his hot breath while you moved your hips to grind against him.

"I love everything about your body..."

"Yeah?"

"Fuck yeah..." You gasped to the grip he made at your ass, the harsh squeeze that would leave a lasting print you favored wearing. But this wasn't a hookup and it wasn't a rendezvous. This was an apology.

"What are you..." You slipped off of his lap and to your knees, parting his own, before then playing with his belt.

"I want to make you feel good, JJ..."

"Shit..." He watched as you licked your lips and released him from his shorts and boxers, leaving him only as naked as necessary.

"Hold my hair for me?" He made a quick ponytail from what you'd taken down from earlier, much preferring the way his fingers pulled than the elastic band.

"Oh fuck..." He groaned to your mouth, taking him completely. One slow glide down your throat with hollow cheeks and the beginning of tears to welcome him. But he was still soft, wanting to be kind to your throat.

"Fuck my throat, JJ...I want you to come this way..."

"You sure there, cupcake?"

You nodded as he sat on the edge of the couch.

"Come here..." He tapped the seat beside him as you bent over his lap.

"Goddamn perfect!" His dominant hand came to your hair, keeping your strands from your face, as another rodd the ridge of your thigh until he found your panties.

"Soaked already princess?" You nodded. "Maybe I should help you since you're so good to me..." He teased the words you spoke to him before rubbing small circles over the fabric.

"Oh fuck...slow down there tiger..." You chuckled as he moved his hips into you, sinking one finger after pushing your panties away.

"Two?" He asked as you gripped onto his thighs.

"My girl needs three to get ready for me, doesn't she?" You nodded before feeling one finger slip in after another.

"Fuck my fingers baby while I fuck that perfect little throat...see who comes first..." He chuckled, head at a rest on the couch as his fingers were relentless. A quick tease and challenge that fell short as he edged you with several potential orgasms, all to prolong you for him.

"John B is gonna be pissed you're dripping on his couch...come here..." You were taken over his lap and thrust into you before he held the back of your neck.

"You wanna make it up to me?" You nodded.

"Then show me how sorry you are, sweetheart...give me all your attention..."

"You...have...it..." You moaned as he thrust.

"Then come on my cock, princess...let me feel how sorry you are..." His grip tightened. "I wanna feel you clench around me..." He explained, consenting to your release that came with only a few brushes of his thumb to your clit. But the second your body convulsed, you were absent his cock as he bent you over the arm of the couch and took you from behind.

"I meant it what I said about that apron...so fucking sexy..." He hit your ass. "I want you in nothing but that walking around for me...so I can eat and finger you without needing to worry about clothes..."

"J!" You berated as the door suddenly came open.

"Fuck off!" JJ scolded as John B and Pope commented how it was about time for some as you only laughed, knowing how pissed John B was gonna be when he saw the stains you two would leave.

"Come for me again. Hard. You showed me how sorry you were...this time, I wanna hear it, princess..."

"JJ!"

"That's it...take it-just like this..." He slapped your ass again, your body relishing in the mix of pain and pleasure as he took his hand to your clit.

"Let me hear you, pretty girl." And just like that, you came undone once again, his body quick to follow as he pulled you up against his chest.

"You have ten seconds to get into that shower or I'm gonna make John B lose his shit when he finds your cum on every surface from here to that door..." He jerked his head towards the bathroom as you struggled to walk, reminding yourself you owed Kiara for taking one for the team.

MASTERLIST

JJ MAYBANK MASTERLIST

JJ MAYBANK 2ND MASTERLIST

@rafesmoon @maybankslover @puzziepoppin @gillybear17 @onclouds999 @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection @jjsprettybaby

#jj maybank #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank smut #outer banks #outerbanks #obx #outer banks smut #outerbanks smut #obxsmut #outerbanks fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfiction #rudy pankow

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hyukaslvr · 7 months

Text

SCREAM, baby! // j. wooyoung

<masterlist!!

warnings♱ knife play, mean dom! wooyoung, unprotected sex, creampie, pussy n tit slapping, spanking, rough handling. degradation (slut/whore), dumbification, cock-drunk reader, crying during sex n dacryphilia, missionary, cumming inside, cussing.

w.c♱ aproxx 5k

a/n♱ this is a repost of my day ‘8 kinktober post on my first blog that i had accidentally deleted (haha). i will eventually repost all of my fics, that me and my girlfriend tried very hard to find screenshots of or finding people who reblogged them(thank you so much if so). so no, this isn’t someone copying. look at this to see proof that im the original hyukaslvr, thank you!!

you had your whole halloween night planned, set in stone. you had your smart tv on ready to find scary movies to watch, popcorn and drink in hand, and on the couch instead of going out while there's a mask killer going around.

you got all settled down, remote in hand getting ready to scroll through multiple horror sections before finding the perfect thriller to play. a buzzing coming from your thigh makes you sigh, you know it was gonna be another one of your friends trying to convince you to go out tonight. your best friend was calling.

"wooyoung? what's up?" you say, picking at your salted popcorn before popping a good one in your mouth.

"hello, y/n." a different voice comes from the phone, you proceeded to choke on your previous piece of popcorn.

"who is this??" you resolved your choking by tapping your chest, now concerned who was on the line with you if it wasn't wooyoung.

"i have a better question," the man pauses, leaving you more worried than before. "what's your favorite scary movie?"

you didn't hear the following footsteps before screaming as the man covers your mouth with his gloved hand, knife pressing your throat.

"hi princess."

you found out about a week ago that wooyoung was the one going around, killing people coldly with his hands and knife. you found his bloody suit in his bag at a party you were at last weekend, right after another killing was done in the same house of the party. it was fresh, and stained your hands when you gripped the black cloak between your fingers. you hadn't talked to him since, you had to right to. you were scared, he was killing off your guys friends. you had the right to be scared, especially since you don't know his intentions towards you.

you slowly reached for the gloved hand that was holding your mouth closed, pushing your fingers through his before slowly pulling his hand to your chest. you looking straight ahead, scared to do anything else. it was wooyoung, how could he possibly hurt you?

"wooyoung, please put the knife down."

"and if i don't?" you tense up as he presses slightly harder against your skin. he rests his head on your shoulder, and you know who's looking right at you through the plastic mask.

"i don't know why you're doing this, but we can work things out."he laughs, standing completely up and forcing your chin upwards to look at him. "work things out? how could we possibly when i've gone too far?"

you pause, staring right up at the boy as he tilts his head to the side.

you were always scared to be too close to wooyoung, knowing what your heart would do to your feelings towards him. yeah, you liked him. you just didn't want to accept it. he was your best friend, you didn't want to ruin what you had. you've always found him attractive, but more recently you can't seem to be able to be around him with out heating up. so what did you do? you distanced yourself from him, from your whole friend group. he would constantly ask you what he did or what is wrong but you always just told him and the others that you were too tired to meet up.

you just had a even better excuse to ignore him by what you found about a week ago, and you staring at him makes you realize you definitely knew why he was here. it was definitely because of that.

"if it's because i ignored you, it was nothing you'd done." you flinch when he goes up your face with the sharp blade, tickling your flushed skin.

"is that so? then what was the reason to ignoring me, baby?" you shudder, him calling you names isn’t helping the fact that your heat was already sticking to your panties with just his hand on your chin and the angle you were staring at him.

"will you sit? I'll explain everything if you just, remove the knife pressing on me." you slowly let out, feeling the knife that was pressing down on you slowly leaving your neck. you closed your eyes as you hear hustling around you. your eyes opened wide when you feel your legs being forced open. you go to speak but stop when you feel the sharp tip against your stomach.

you gasp as you watch and feel the gloved hand reach for your shorts and yanks them down to your ankles. your cheeks burn when you look at the man sitting between your legs.

"let me taste you as you explain, wanna make my baby feel good" wooyoung speaks again, pushing your panties to the side to look at your pretty pussy. the feeling of his eyes watching you clench on nothing makes you want him so badly. he was testing your limits so much right now, you just wanted to rip that ugly mask off his sexy tan face and watch him eat you slowly.

"let me see you, please wooyoung," you whisper, he grabs your hand and tugs it for you to take it off yourself. your breath gets caught when you slowly raise the mask over his head. he's always so pretty. he doesn't give you much time to drool over him, leaving opened mouth kisses against the warmth of your inner thighs. you just knew you were drenched.

"wooyoung-" you gasp as you feel a gloved hand sliding up and down against your folds. your breath gets caught in your throat when he removes the knife from your stomach to hold you face down towards him.

"watch me."

he gives you swollen bud a peck before sliding his tongue up and down. your body arches off the bed, wooyoung loudly moaning between your thighs. his gloved hands reaching to grip any flesh he can grip on to, being your hips or your breasts. all he can hear are your pants of pleasure spurring him on. His tongue buried in your pussy while his nose nudges at your clit causing you to buck your hips towards his face.

you were almost riding his face at this point and that was how he wanted it. when you let out a loud moan of his name, your hand tugging harshly at his hair as he practically growls against your soft velvet like folds before looking up at you. his pupils blown out from lust like a man drunk because he was. you watch him struggle against your hand before you push his head towards your mouth, and he gladly pushes his lips harshly on yours, kissing you rough and practically eating your mouth.

he pulls away from your now puffy red lips, "fucking ignoring me, but now you're so needy for me?" wooyoung growls, hands reaching your boobs for his thumbs to pinch your nipples meanly. you whimpered softly. "oh, don't try to act pathetic now."

wooyoung moved his freehand down back to your cunt as he shoved two 01 his fingers into your hole, rough and fucking up into you. every single pump was joined by the wet noise of your cunt, your cunt leaking so much that you could feel your juices slide down your thighs and onto the couch.

wooyoung pinched your tit again, your responding whine loud. he punished your whine with a sharp slap to the underside of your tit. "fucking desperate little whore. was fucking ignoring me, but is so wet underneath me, slut desperate for a cock. is that it, baby? you a fucking slut?"

you bit down on your lip, eyes watering at the edges from the roughness of his touch and the harshness of his words. you loved it.

"i'm a slut, wooyoung, 'm sorry-"

he began to thrust three of his fat fingers into your pussy, "you're not fucking sorry," he hissed. his dark eyes were narrowed, their usual bright spark gone.

"i'm sorry-"

"no you're fucking not," wooyoung shot back, voice scratchy.

wooyoung ripped his hand from your cunt. you let out a cry, trying to buck your hips back up to his hand. he laughed meanly, and then he was slapping your thigh. "eager little slut," he said. wooyoung was smiling. "just wanted something in your little cunt, yeah? you're just so goddamn desperate-"

"want you," you sobbed, trying to reach for him. wooyoung pushed you back onto the couch, his hand pressing down on your shoulder and keeping you still. you couldn't help but stare at him, whimpering at the lust in his glaring eyes.

wooyoung moved to grab your hips. you immediately opened your thighs wide, letting him press against you. he lifted your lower half, fingers digging into your thighs. "opening your legs like a little whore in heat," he said, tilting his head, smirking. "that it, baby? you my little whore in heat, desperate for my dick?"

wooyoung released his grip on one of your thighs to run his hand along your cunt. the slide had you groaning, lashes fluttering and hips trying to seek out more friction. instead wooyoung moved his hand to your stomach, there he spread your slick over your skin.

"look at how fucking wet you are," he laughed. "fucking whore. so goddamn wet from me and my knife."

he used his free hand to grab his dick. wooyoung slapped the tip of his cock on your folds, making your legs shake. he moved closer, the tip of his dick rubbing against your pussy lips. you moaned, and then you were moving your hips, seeking more friction, trying to get his cock to slip in to where you needed it most.

"don't know if i should give it to you," he taunted, tongue poking out. his eyes were on your cunt, watching as he dragged the tip of his cock through your cunt, soaking it in your juices.

"what was it, baby? didn't need me? didn't need my dick?"

"need it," you sobbed. and you did. you needed his dick in you, needed him to shove his cock inside of you and fuck you. it was all you wanted needed. you needed him, needed jung wooyoung. then you bursted into tears. you weren't sad, weren't crying from anything bad. you were just so desperate. you wanted wooyoung, you wanted him, you wanted, you wanted, you wanted.

wooyoung sighed, and then he was fucking his cock into you. a loud cry escaped your mouth, and you arched your back up into him. wooyoung kept pressing, pushing his cock further and further. it stung, especially as his cock was fatter than even three of his fingers. you wanted it. you wanted his cock, wanted his dick and any pain that might have come with it.

"take it," he urged, slapping your thigh. "take my cock, baby. gotta take it all. you were so desperate for it, yeah? wanted it so bad? wanted it so bad you were gonna cry like a little fucking slut. so now you gotta take it'

"want it," you gasped. you let your mouth hang wide open, brows furrowed in pleasure from the sting of his cock forcing your walls to squeeze him.

"fuck me," you begged, using your legs to try and force him to fuck back into you. "fuck me, woo, fuck me."

wooyoung laughed, and then he was pressing his mouth to yours. you gasped, hands scrambling along his shoulders. he didn't kiss you as much as he fucked your mouth. then he snapped his hips in your cunt sheathing his dick in one movement. you cried out, teeth nipping at his mouth on accident.

wooyoung pulled away, using one of his hands to wipe at his mouth.

"gonna fuck your stupid cunt so good."

he went to his knees, keeping his lower stomach pressed to your ass. he gripped your thighs and, using them as anchors, began to fuck you. his hips slapped against you harshly, the sharp hits of his fucking making the skin where his hips met your ass sting, though this was drowned out by the pure lust of his cock striking deep within you.

"take it," he growled, pushing your thighs to your chest, eyes dancing over your figure. "take my fat cock in your tight little cunt, fucking take it, take it all."

wooyoung fucked you urgently, desperately. he kept adjusting your thighs and ass, searching for that one gummy spot in your cunt that would bring you pleasure. then, with a hard fuck into your pussy, he found it.

you shouted out, hands shooting out and grabbing at him. one of your hands found his hair and gripped it tight.

he was grabbed your hand and forced it to the bed, keeping you from touching him. "i said to fucking take it," he snapped. "fucking take my cock. you decided to fucking ignore me, decided to go behind my back. now you gotta lay there and take it like a slut."

you sobbed, nodding. wooyoung moaned, hips stuttering for a moment.he managed to control himself and continued, cock slamming against your core in a harsh rhythm. "fucking pretty," wooyoung grunted. "so fucking pretty when you cry, fuck-"

"fuck," he hissed, his hands moving to your hips and gripping you. wooyoung fucked you with earnest, using his strength to bring your cunt back onto his dick again and again. "fuck --"you cried, mouth wide open from pleasure. he was reaching so deep inside of you, dick reaching so fucking deep inside that you swore you could feel it in your throat. he was filling your senses, from his dick to his hands to his voice, and you felt like you were drowning in wooyoung.

"good girl," he growled, shifting his position. "am i making you feel good? huh? your woo's dick making your little pussy feel good?"

you sobbed out, wooyoung's hand left your hip, and then he was grabbing your hair. he forced your face to look at him, a loud gasp tearing from your throat at his roughness. "fucking speak," he demanded, hand leaving your hair to slap at your hip. "told you to fucking talk, baby. think you're too good to talk while i'm fucking your pussy?"

"no," you said sobbed. "no-just- woo-”

"what? fucking you so good you can't speak?" he laughed in mean tone, slapping your hip again. "use your words like a good girl. be a good girl, baby."

finally you managed something. your words came out in a slop. "good," you moaned, "fucking me sooo good!"

"fuck yes i am," he laughed, pushing his body and chest against yours. the change in angle had you squealing, driving your hips forward and forcing his cock further. wooyoung let out a strangled groan, nails digging into your skin. "fuck-baby-"

with one more harsh thrust at your gummy spot, you saw stars. your legs started shaking uncontrollably, staring down at the space between your body's and watching his dick drive into your cunt. throwing your head back gave his access to leave harsh kisses on your warm neck. you felt like he was sucking the soul out of you, feeling him so deep inside.

"woo-wooyoung! 'm cumming-!" your legs couldn't stop shaking, he takes your words as a sign to go harder and deeper than he was going before.

"oh fuck-" your world spins. screaming as your whole body shakes in release of your orgasm. wooyoung panting as he struggles against your cunt squeezing him so tightly, he couldn't help but release there and then.

you didn't notice the loud sirens blaring, surrounding your house with red and blue lights. wooyoung lets out a string of cusses, wincing when he pulls out of your dripping hole.

"wooyoung- don't leave me!" you grip his arm, and he looks down at you. a small smile spreads across his face.

"you know you can't get rid of me that easily, im not going anywhere." he leans down, gives your temple a gentle kiss before standing up and reaching for his belongings.

"i love you-" you struggle to stand, failing as you fall flat on the couch again. he giggles, grabbing your shorts and sliding them on you gently.

"i love you too, baby." he says, putting his arms down on the couch, pushing his lips against yours. you wrap your arms around his neck, wanting nothing but him to stay. but you know he can't.

he pulls away, knocking on the door and hollers coming from outside is his signal to leave quickly, walking to the back window. he looks back at your distressed body, smiling to himself before opening the window. he doesn't look at you again as he speaks,

"you know i'll be back."

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strawbbella · 1 year

Text

Helloo~ I was bored in class one day so I thought "why not do an art study of the artists I like" except it incredibly scuffed and I really just looked at a bunch of art on their page and i tried my best to replicate one of em

So these are the 2 'studies' i did that day

1st:

My ver:

(Art by @izuke-the-zombie )

ref pic:

What I noticed first while sketching is ofc the super gorgeous cute style. Though not long into the sketching phase noticed her lines are quite sharp and pronouced, for most of her works she keeps her sketch lines making it seem more mmm hazy is the right word? Or effortless, but with every sharp line a rounded(?) line contrasts it, giving it that signature fluffiness. I absolutely adore how well this all mixes together, i dunno just sonethin bout her lines bro

I love the expression, really gives off absolutely love sick, I didn't capture the eyes quite well (I blame my chonk pen because all good artists blames their materials/j) Macaque looks more scared than breath taken and I put the eyes too far apart. I basically deprived the eyes of its soul lmao note for next time I do a study.

Ok this part has not much to do with the ref pic but her art in general and that includes her writing. I adore the cute HCs and little stories/AUs she would post, just so much creativity and its always so comforting to read as theyre so wholesome and cute. Im so sure one of my first posts here were a drawing of one of her HCs LIKE SRSLY SO CREATIVE. I was also surprised as I saw in some artworks she's able to draw structures and environments that draws your into the scene, its fits the universe so well, just adding to that little wonderment of awe. Shes amazing at coloring too, real soft, but still makes the characters pop, i'd say more but my brain is short-circuiting from all this analyzing. Shes just all round incredibly talented and creative honestly. Her style is exactly what i wanted to have as a kid and what im striving to have now. So cuteee

So far 11/10 art style, love the chibiness, cuteness, expressions, the pure and pastel feel and colors, and details. Just love her in general<3 check out her page lol

2nd:

My ver:

(Art by @clatteringbats )

ref pic:

Ok so immediately off the bat I knew I was gonna have some trouble here since I've been drawing chibis from the very start.

Just from observing her art I alr saw it has a lot of movement in em, lots of dynamic poses, and LOTS of embraces, really just pouring with that fluff/angst energy. At first I tried the anime body guidelines and boom instant error. Though not all that noticable the heads have sum chonk in em, especially the cheeks, giving that cute factor despite not being a chibi style. Im all for it. The lines are very soft, not a lot of sharp edges and if there are theyre placed in a very subtle way. The expressions are wonderful: from a subtle hopeless smile from an overwhelming roar of grief and anger, she's mastered the the art of slight details that give these effects their magic. Her lines are sketchy but not messy (does that make sense) they clump together neatly, giving the illustration clarity.

AND OMG HAVE YOU SEEN HER ANIMATICS? THE MOVEMENT, THE PACING, THE SMOOTHNESS, THE INTERACTIONS, THE EMOTIONS, THE EVERYTHING. THEYRE SO AAAA ITS LIKE A PROFESSIONAL STORYBOARD FOR A TV SHOW.

The way she uses color too— just o h m y g o d .

Her colors are so bright and clear, so nicely blended together, so bold, but not in the way that burns your eyes, she keeps them neutral in a way, that envokes that sense of harmony; like a sunset. (I legit have one of her colored artworks as my wallpaper) I have lots more to observe, but so far this is all I have to say. The skill of overflowing

Anways, back to the task at hand. I made the heads bigger than i shoulda , cause well chibi artist ehe. Again, I blame my chonk pencil. I didn't get the embrace quite right, but Ion think I could level with the queen of LITERALLY DRAWING TEARJERKING HUGS LIKE? I tried with the hands, I swear. I knew they were a little small but only now am I realizing its that way cause I made the heads too big. I wanna try drawing more in her style as its really just full of movement and flowiness, I wanna try mastering the way she draws perspectives too. I noticed for perspective shots theres this grid for the sky and ground (which is genius) will try that out when I actually pick up digital art again.

Check out her page, theres lots to see shes amazing 11/10 artstyle<3

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bengiyo · 7 months

Note

I am curious for your perspective on the way the OF creators are interacting with fans and have even admitted to editing the show based on fan reactions. It strikes me as an unusual level of interaction and capitulation, though of course TV is a live medium that is nearly always responsive to reactions to some extent. My preference is for a lot less of this kind of thing, but I know you have experience with direct interaction with media creators and have found it enhances your experience sometimes. What do you make of how these dynamics are showing up in OF and the effect it’s having on the show?

TV and Critic Background

So, I am actually the worst person to talk to if you think the creators should be quiet about their work, because I really enjoy talking to directors, producers, actors, cinematographers, and especially editors about their work. I often go to film festivals just to talk to the creators about their processes.

I've also been in the TV space a really long time, and I am used to this kind of behavior. I don't think a lot of folks who are in BL are used to being in the process of TV itself, and I think a lot of people have let the Netflix binge model inform the way they view TV. TV is not like movies. When you get a movie, you are seeing the end product of filming, editing, test screenings, re-edits, etc. TV is usually only an episode or two ahead of the viewers.

It's extremely normal for a show to respond to feedback when characters test well. The 100 did this with Jasper. He was supposed to die in the pilot when that spear entered his chest, but he tested well with audiences so they revived him.

Fun Fact: This is why Kiseki: Dear to Me didn't just move their release schedule up when episode 8 was leaked early. They probably weren't finished assembling episode 9.

I followed Sense8 through its entire development process all the way from rumors and then J. Michael Stracynski's posts about it, to the things Lana and Lily said about it, to the commentary from the cast.

I have a special hatred for Rick Behrman over Star Trek.

I absolutely hate Russel T. Davies because of Cucumber.

I bailed on Supernatural because of the way the writers condescended to us at comicon after killing Kevin.

I know some fans are upset about the idea that scenes they wanted to see got cut, but I was there for Noah Galvin opening his fucking mouth to talk shit about other actors at ABC who were playing beloved gay characters and that subsequently getting The Real O'Neals canceled. The show had a very short second season and I feel forever salty about that.

What does this mean for Jojo and Ninew and Den?

I actually think Jojo, Den, and Ninew are fine. I don't think they usually poopoo on valid reads from what I've seen, and mostly they're having fun with the fans, too. I just don't think people are used to the creators being so honest about how feedback affects the editing process.

I think this is the first time we've had a big show in a while where the creator was fairly active on socials about the show. Aof and Au are usually pretty quiet when their shows are airing, and only give small tidbits while they show is airing. Jojo is silly and likes to play with fans. Den is feisty and has a gay agenda to pursue.

Truly, I don't think Jojo and friends are that bad about anything with this show, because they're mostly just laughing and stating things that are obvious to people who pay attention to how the sausage is made.

Shipping

That being said, the biggest struggle OF is having is shipping. The FK girlies are so loud and their heavy breathing has likely influenced the way Jojo and friends decided to write Ray. The FB girlies are so into them that it's made Jojo and them dial back some of their Top content because the audience hates him so much. Only Boston and Nick feel like they've made it through the shipping gamut intact because Neo and Mark aren't bringing a bunch of preexisting shippers to the table.

Coming off of episode 10, you can see this plainly with the nasty4nasty dynamic with Boston and Nick. The emotional core of their dynamic feels true, even down to the way their moments in the store mirror their first interactions again. Boston came in for service about his phone and intentionally showed Nick something on it.

I don't think Jojo has ever had to work with multiple acting pairs that were big branded pairs prior to this, and this is only his second time really dealing with that. With Never Let Me Go, Pond and Phuwin weren't that big yet, and he wasn't threatening their ship with anything complicated. OF is challenging for people who just watch BL as fap material and have to deal with their faves not being easy people to parse.

As usual, we go back to that post that goes around all the time, thought I think the OP deleted it:

"Never ever be normal about fictional characters but please GOD be normal about the people who play them, I am begging you" -tumblr user mantorokk-writes

#answered #only friends the series #only friends meta #jojo tichakorn #ninew pinya #den panuwat #best kittisak

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suzie-shooter · 3 months

Text

Haven't done one of these for ages, but have a Screaming Meals commentary stream recap for the Formula E race on 13.01.24 with James and Clem.

J: Give them a taste of Kiwi!

[has a go at Clem for concentrating on the stream subs rather than the race] J: God knows what else I've missed in the time I've even just explained this point.

J: Oh God, someone's phoning me now, oh God I'm going to have to take this - improvise.

C: Da Costa's out. J: Oh well that's okay, he's not a client.

[on New Year] C: I'd be lying if I said I remembered much of it. J: Yeah I thought that might be the case.

C: Do you know what the biggest issue is right now? J: The…war, in… C: No, no, my tyre, on my car.

J: You really have to be careful when you're navigating crevices - Marcus has found that out the hard way.

J: If I was driving a Formula E car I'd be yawning too.

[on Clem's drive for next year] J: If you don't know then you're not looking hard enough are you.

C: I am doing ELMS and I'll be at the Daytona 24 in 2 weeks' time and so will my ever loyal acolyte James Blair.

J: What do you say to allegations that Moses came down with the tablets from the good Lord on the mountain faster than we have got the bank account paperwork back from Armstrong? I don't think Moses was up there for eighteen months.

J: God I really cock a shoulder when I do that.

[on Rick Armstrong] J: "If you aim high you can't shoot yourself in the foot" - he was talking about his girlfriend at the time.

C: Something we haven't told chat - I'm starting work in insurance, eh? J: Yeah that's true. Full on insurance agent. You heard it here first. […] All the heavy lifting's still going to be done by me, Clem's very much going to have a relationship management role. C: Which is great for me because that's pretty much all I'm good at. Chatting shit.

J: Qatar is sponsoring us? The government of Qatar. Our lives have changed Clem, we've got oil money! C: Yeah I wouldn't want to take their cash actually.

C: I always thought I'd be a great TV presenter. J: Technically that's what we're doing now. It's not far off. C: It's not exactly channel 4 but - J: No, it's better. Because we can say fuck.

J: Interesting storyline developing here, Cassidy's hanging out the back of Buemi. C: Don't know if you want to mention that on stream there. J: Well he's hanging right out the back of him, I mean look. C: Quite a graphic tale you're sort of describing.

J: He's getting his nose really tucked in to the rear end of Evans there […] this is the hottest thing happening on track right now, is Vergne hanging out the back of Evans, with Hughes looking to get involved […] trying to get up Mitch Evans. Who isn't trying to get up Mitch Evans, be realistic.

J: Maybe he wants Vergne to be hanging out the back of him. And then he'll just really open it up at the end.

J: It's a real sloppy rear end. C: Real sloppy. how's Jehan doing? J: Yeah he must be sort of running a sloppy rear end.

C: "Is James going to any ELMS races?" James is going to all of them. J: Pretty much all of them yeah. C: Who do you think's going to fucking be the entertainment factor behind the scenes? J: Yeah you know like endurance races are like long, you can't drive the whole thing. You're going to need some dicking around. We'll just be hanging out the back of the garage.

C: "What are your goals for this year?" - James. J: I really want to nail the guitar actually, hang on I was gonna share this earlier. [fetches guitar] C: Play Wonderwall.

C: Chasing Cars? J: Yes! C: I read the chat. J: Oh fuck off.

J: I think this is the G string.

J: I haven't done a lot of fingering in my time with my left hand […] I've got a lot of experience of strumming with my right hand.

J: Old Clemogio's a bit heavy in the eyelids. C: I've got to go and fucking - sort out my tyre.

#clement novalak #james harvey blair #screaming meals #screaming meals recap

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flamingskull28 · 1 month

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Dear 4

I have noticed in our time as friends how much we differ from each other. You are energetic and bubbly and I am often reserved yet we complement each other so well.

While you are the comforting warmth of the sun, I am the cold drowsiness of the moon.

You are a hot scorching desert with no power, I am the fringed chills of the artic planes.

If you can defeat an army with pure brute strength and skill, I can take the out one at a time without a whisper being heard.

and if you, my dear 4, are a bright beacon who shines their light to all and spreads warmth and joy without discrimination then I am a lost soul in the dark, wanting only to be engulfed by your light.

Maybe you don't understand or maybe you do... but what I really mean by all this is a question. 4 will you go ou-

---

"Heya 8, you've been in here for hours. I'm getting worried." 4 said startling 8 and making the poor octoling fumble and stutter, not helped by how close 4 was. 8 quickly hide the paper behind her.

"I've- well.. I've uh j-just been writing. A-A poem, nothing s-special." 8 really hoped her face covering blush could be taken as from suprise.

"Oh, really!?" 4 said with a light in her eyes that made 8's hearts skip a beat. "Can I see, your work is always amazing." 4's smile was so genuine and curious that it took all of 8's power to resist.

"Uh it's a w-work in progress.. Once I-I'm done I'll show you." 8 really wished she'd have the courage, but the trash can next to her desk with a stack of discarded papers overflowing out of it didn't make that seem likely.

"Hmmm, aw fine. I guess I can wait.." 4 sighed but still kept her chripy mood "Anyway, you've been in here all day. I got a movie for us to watch!"

"I-I kinda wanna finish this-" 8 was cut off as 4 grabbed her hand instantly destroying any train of thought the poor lesbian had.

"Pleaseeeeeeee, it's so empty around the house when you're not out there with me. I wanna talk and watch a movie with you. I bought your favorite chips and drinks just so we could." 4's eyes were that of puppies in cuteness and sadness but like a knife in how they cut deep inside her more than the whole of the metro did. 8's hearts physically pained seeing 4 so upset, a small part of 8 felt honored that 4 enjoyed her presence so much but.... seeing 4's frown was a poison to 8's very soul that coursed further through her veins every second it existed.

"Don't feel like you have to... i-it's okay if you *sniff* don't wann-"

"NO! I-I do want to watch the movie! Please do not be upset, I haven't been getting anywhere with my poems anyway." 8 begged and pleaded in her head for 4 to smile again for her body may not be able to handle seeing the frown any longer.

"R-Really? I was starting to think I-I was annoying you with wanting to hang out all the time..." 4's frown vanished but her heavenly smile refused to grace 8 once more.

"No, 4 you never annoy me. Never! Now then what movie are we watching?" 8 smiled and she was instantly met with the wide tooth grin of 4. The poison in her veins vanished from this power and 8 felt at ease again. Even if her hearts were beating twice as fast and her face felt so hot, she would not be surprised if it melted off any second now.

"It's that Five days at franks... or whatever it was called movie! I've heard a lot about it being good! I really hope we-" 4 rambled for a moment, an all too often occurrence that entranced 8 the same it had the first hundred times, but she managed to find enough will power to grab her pencil and finish writing the poem.

Stuffing it in her back pocket, 8 walked over to 4 and gestured for them to go to the tv. 4 nodded and grabbed her hand, still rambling her theories while dragging 8 over. Unawake of the blush her action was causing.

regardless 8 quickly settled in, sitting next to 4 on the couch as close as she could manage without seeming to weird. She wanted to be close but she could settl-

As if reading 8's mind 4 grabbed her and pulled her close. Leaning on the octolings and cuddling up to her should while starting the movie. 8 felt her blush burn brighter, her gaze turned to the inkling who watched the screen intently. Making occasional comments but seeming content with snuggling up to 8. A smile joined the blush on 8's face and a thought her brain never considered arrived. Could 4 like her back?

8 considered what to do with this thought, maybe it was best to keep it to her-.... No this had gone on too long.

"Hey 4?" the inkling turned to look at her, still not moving her head from 8's arm "Do you want to see the poem I was working on?"

#splatoon #agent 4 #agent 8 #agent 32 #writers on tumblr #splatoon writing

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pascaloverx · 3 months

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Hit The Road

Chapter Fourteen (FINAL)

previous chapter

Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.

Author's note: the characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story. Also some information here is not in the order of the series or the same way it happened in the tv series.

Your plan didn't work out. Damn it! Stefan broke down the door amid your screams of pain and grabbed you, throwing you to the ground. Strangely, him throwing you to the ground might have hurt more than being burned in the sun. You don't remember much after that. You can imagine the Salvatores being furious because you tried to end your vampire life. You're almost certain that you're tied to a chair. You try to move your hands and feet but can't. Your eyes slowly open, revealing Damon's room, and then you realize that you are indeed trapped. Damon comes out of the bathroom half-naked, with only a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet. You look at him, furious. But you notice that even though you're angry, you don't want to kill him.

"What did you do to me, Salvatore?" You almost shout as you watch him dry his hair with another towel. He's ignoring you, undoubtedly. He takes off the towel from his waist, revealing his naked body, and then slowly starts to put on some clothes.

"You know, you've always been one of the smartest people I know. But trying to kill yourself while a group of people who care about you is trying to find a solution to your problem was the stupidest thing I've ever seen." Damon's tone of voice is sharp; he seems genuinely bothered by the direction this story would have taken if Stefan hadn't stopped you.

"Fuck off, darling, I wanted to die. Not because the idea of a slow and painful death makes me happy, but because dying would prevent me from hurting you." You respond rudely, still trying to get out of the chair where you're tied up. Damon smiles, watching you struggle to untie yourself.

"You won't get out of there without my help, my love. That's because humans hardly ever manage to get out of places on their own. And yes, I called you human. In fact, while you were trying to kill yourself, I was able to track down your ex-best friend Dimitri. He had a cure for vampirism with him. And let's say he was happy to hand it over to save you." Damon's tone becomes almost too dark as he speaks the last part. He definitely killed Dimitri. I can't say it terrifies me, but I think Dimitri sought Damon's wrath.

"You turned me human and killed Dimitri? Wow, it's shocking the amount of things you can do." You speak, facing Damon, almost as a challenge, even though you know you should be grateful for him stopping you from dying or killing other vampires.

"I wouldn't have killed your hunter friend if he hadn't refused to free you from that damn spell. One thing led to another. But at the end of the day, everyone got what they deserved." Damon speaks as he approaches you. He crouches down on the floor, facing you. His blue eyes seem darker, and his expression looks tired.

"We're back to square one, aren't we? You're a cruel vampire, and I'm a human. What now? I age while you remain immortal, watching me slowly die in front of you? Then when all this is over, you go back to Elena and live a vampire life with her?" As you speak, you feel like you're venting to Damon but at the same time complaining.

"We both have at least a few more years before you start worrying about age and dying. I gave you back your human life so you could enjoy it a little longer. But when you want immortality back, just like your vampire boyfriends." Damon unties you, touching your hand lightly to your cheek, wiping away the tears you were shedding without even noticing.

"Did you hear about my idea for everyone to date each other at the same time? Seems like almost dying left my mind clear." You speak, smiling softly, trying not to appear confused by the changes in your life.

"I want you to know that I made a choice too. I chose to stand by the idiotic woman who married me in a cabin because neither of us knew what we wanted." Damon kissed both of your hands gently, then gave you a peck on the lips.

"What a lovely way to make me feel bad. But I won't backtrack, I love you and your brother. Individually but significantly." You pull Damon's face closer to yours, giving him a longer kiss.

"I have to go get more blood bags from the hospital. I think you have a visitor speaking of that, see you later." Damon kisses your cheek and leaves the room almost immediately. You get up from the chair and glance around Damon's room.

"Stefan, I'm no longer a vampire, but I know you're there." You say as you lean against Damon's bed, relaxing your sore back. Being human is too painful.

"I thought it would be weird to come here, to my brother's room, to see you." Stefan says, entering the room with a smile on his face.

"It's not strange. I guess now we all agree that we're okay with the fact that I..." You almost finish the sentence but are interrupted by a strong and sincere hug from Stefan, who crouched down in front of you.

"I hate you, you know?" Stefan says, kissing your cheek, as if he wanted to savor every detail of you. You then give him a gentle kiss on the forehead and sigh.

"Thank you for saving my life. But next time you knock me down, I'm gonna punch you." You say as you hug him gently, running your fingers through his hair. And so your life as a vampire took a pause so that your life as a human could return, alongside the Salvatore brothers. Damon made a deal with you that when you're ready to be a vampire again, he'll turn you. Obviously, Stefan thinks you're better off as a human. For now, you continue in this romantic confusion where you date Damon sometimes, Stefan other times, taking life one day at a time.

The End...

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drifloonz · 6 months

Note

hellooo. Can I ask for some dad steven headcannons?

i've been ignoring too many of my requests SOOO yes!! you may :)

dad steven headcanons!!

these are long sorry. or not sorry. whichever works. smile

____

♡ ok first of all. if this man impregnates you or anyone uh. he'll either be really into the idea or really fucking scared. usually a mixture of both. nervous and very anxious excitement.

♡ like he's always wanted children but in the state he's in now, he has always seen it as something unachievable for him nowadays

♡ who's getting pregnant? YOU decide!!!!!

♡ alternatively adoption exists which yeah that works too

♡ presumably, if this is a scenario where he's dating someone either the reader or like someone else, then PRESUMABLY he's gotten his life at least a little back together enough to clean his house a bit and clean Himself up a bit and generally just take care of himself and his surroundings more to be liveable enough for him, you, and presumably a child.

♡ single father steven is also very good. either or. but if he's a single father and a baby just drops in front of his doorstep he would take it but panic really hard ( he may at the dead of night fly to some adoption center and hope to god they take this random child... but he's also deathly scared of bad things happening especially w. waves hands at his whole story. so he might be too overprotective already to do that. )

♡ either way into actual dad hcs

♡ he used to babysit a shitton when he was younger, mostly with red and blue, so he's got the skillset for it. and he's also used to wanting to be a good rolemodel! it's just that these skills are so tucked away after the Depression Spiral that it's hard to get him back, but he definitely tries - for his child.

♡ honest to god if you asked him to name his child he'd either make an entirely new name or, because he's unoriginal and had a whole spiral over it, would name her miki or something very similar if she's a girl.

♡ welcome to the world Cool Charizard ( legal name ) /j

♡ ... it'd also be funny if whenever he has a child its always Girl because . yea. yea. Narrative curse.

♡ either way they basically don't have access to the internet bc i don't think steven even has that shit because he's poor as hell. at most he has phone data somehow that he probably isn't paying for. somehow.

♡ maybe his rent gets paid for him bc he was champion once idfk /j

♡ i thnik people are just too scared to properly enter his house and tell him to pay taxes and or rent he just gets to keep his shitty bigass house for free

♡ also it would be weird considering i think that the entirety of kanto tried to sweep him and his whole situation under the rug BUT THATS UNRELATED. SO!!!

♡ basically his kid is not an ipad baby thank god.

♡ even if his partner has one he's going to be like. vaguely scared of technology and also thinks itd be a really bad idea ( it is ) to just raise their child on that shit. the baby gets one cocomelon video a week /j

♡ thank god he probably still has his tv's that somehow still work so he just will let them watch baby shows in the living room sometimes instead of fucking cocomelon . thatd be horrendous.

♡ sometimes watches kids shows with his kid in his lap or next to him. usually falls asleep pretty quick into doing that

♡ he DOES tuck them in goodnight.. sometimes tells them stories.

♡ steven is really really really really overprotective over his child/ ESPECIALLY if it's like. straight up his child with you or whatever. that was a labor of LOVE!!! this also means he loves them very much but he's very dodgy with them going outside and whatnot. at least without his supervision.

♡ he'll be silly for his child and his child only. he'll make funny faces for them to giggle at and things like that and try to do fun things w his lil baby. etc etc. it's very cute to look at but if you use it against him he's going to glare at you really hard and squint judgementally

♡ honest to god i've said this so often to my friends . steven is ABSOLUTELY the type of guy to accidentally drop his baby while trying to hold them or throw them into the air a little and go "Oh shit. Sorry". brad lisa the painfulcore type dad except like less morally neutral bc his situation isnt the same

♡ lets the baby nap in with him a lot. sometimes you can walk into his bedroom and see him with all of his long ass hair splayed out on the bed and the baby also splayed out on the bed ... stevens gotta get his beautysleep!!! so does his kid!!!

♡ stevens really not sure whether to keep miki ( the charizard ) a secret from his child or not. because he knows that like. miki wouldn't hurt his baby almost definitely but he's still kind of scared of the possibility of either of them hurting one another accidentally or not... so at least until theyre older miki's probably a thing he tries not to mention.

♡ in general he also tries to not talk about himself or his past at all to his kid. he doesn't want them to know the ugly sides of himself.

♡ he just pretends he's a normal guy. if they somehow find out otherwise he'll either sigh deeply and tell them the truth, likely as some sort of life lesson to them ( either on safety, cautiousness, boundaries and trust w the trading incident or 'Hey if this happens to you maybe don't do what i did' but im not sure if he's self-aware enough to think of him as in the wrong entirely in that situation ), or he'll just say "must be a different guy" ( they look exactly the same in photos other than how disgruntled steven is now ... )

♡ he absolutely has a baby carrier. i think he always has wanted to carry a baby like that bc he thinks its all cute and funny. he probably smiles at you when you look at him wearing that with your little googoo in it. it looks so odd on him that it's kind of funny

♡ steven is absolutely a dilf tbqh... imagine dadbod steven NOW.

♡ sorry for sidetracking so much. anyways, he's the type of dude who OVERprepares. like MONTHS in advance, he's already buying a shitton of baby clothes, food, bottles, various furniture, etc. how is he buying these? well. either with your money or he's stealing that shit. or he somehow actually has money now. he might've mugged the various people who try to sneak into his house and 'mysteriously' die. who knows. It's a living! Kind of..????

♡ due to his general aversion of society he's kind of torn over wanting to go to a hospital or just doing it in a tub or something if its a situation where he has a partner. i think ultimately he'd do it in a hospital, despite his fear of people, because he's really scared of something going wrong. he'll wait with like. bated breath. scared as hell.

♡ he will cry the second that baby is in his arms. 100%. trust me. like. silently, probably - at least for the first few seconds. but theres a lot of tears. and a smile.

♡ he hums little lullabies to his baby and will gently move them back and forth... while the babies probably chewing at his hair a little.

♡ also yes he lets the baby play with his hair... his hair is that childs stimtoy ( whatever this means )

♡ s!3v3n is also surprisingly calm and good to the baby. the baby would either be fucking terrified of s!3v3n's face or think its silly and laugh at it. s!3v3n particularly likes to make silly faces where his tongue sticks out real far ( he can just do that when hes like that dw abt it ) and he goes crosseyed

♡ =P =D => <- s!3v3n making silly faces for a baby ( pov )

♡ ok this has all mostly been pregnancy and baby hcs. actual kid hcs uhhh... he probably really wants to homeschool his kid bc hes very overprotective but if you talked him into it he'd reluctantly put them in Actual Public School so they can have like. a social life. lol. bc otherwise theyd be EXTREMELY fucking isolated considering stevens been vanquished to Pallet Town's Shadow Realm ( aka pallet town 'A little to the west guarded by rocks and past the forest' edition ) and steven really doesnt want them to be lonely bc it sucks and hes been isolating himself for most of his life at this point so he knows it sucks

♡ he gets more comfortable going outside. most of kanto has forgotten about him anyways - he just specifically avoids going out to pallet town. if his kid wants to go there and hes not a single dad he'll have his partner do it for him. but he likes to go take walks with them and go to playgrounds. plus, he doesn't even have to whip miki / M' out in the wild grass - pokemon avoid him anyways. lol.

♡ as bittersweet as it is, if his kid wanted to be a pokemon trainer he WOULD have the best tips and tricks on it... he was the undefeated champion and arguably the first ''pokemon master'', whatever that term even means. ( presumably ''trainer champion'' instead of ''probably appointed to be in that position for someone to fight'' champion. like lance. or The Other steven. or smth. )

♡ he'd probably find a way to get his kid a starter... he still lives in kanto and close to pallet town too, so he can pull a silver and like. steal a starter. or he could just send his kid on their way ""without supervision"" ( hes lurking in the forest keeping an eye out just in case ) to ask oak about it

♡ if they pick charmander it is 90x more bittersweet. amen. but i think bulbasaur would be cute too bc its the only starter not picked and not relevant in strangled red + my own personal bulbasaur bias.

♡ although stevens going to tell them not to trade pokemon for obvious reasons - either thru a ''spooky tale'' / urban legend ( that is just his story but he tells it much more vague. like. ''... well i heard sometimes pokemon don't come back out.'' ) or just straight up says some shit like ''yea don't trade pokemon. it's bad.'' without elaborating

♡ regardless. he's still being very overprotective and unless his kid doesnt budge on it hes preferably not letting them go explore the world on their own until theyre like... 13-16

♡ even then. hes usually kind of trailing behind without telling them bc he legitimately has nothing better to do.

♡ ... also if the kid doesnt have a rival , like, no one at school or no one who they meet in their journey, then steven might. like. sigh deeply. get a few pokeballs from god knows where. catch a new team comparable to their kids level range. and be their rival. who is also their dad of mid 20s to early 40s in age. for some reason. people question it but he doesnt care he just wants his kid to have fun

♡ funnier option that i dont think he'd do ( probably ) is he pulls a clavell ( or team rocket ) and acts like a totally different guy when all that changes is his fit and maybe his haircut. except he prob pulls it off well. he'd still be obviously steven but his cap is backwards and his hair is tied up and his little jacket or w/e is around his waist and thats all that changes. his shoes might be untied for the 'stupid kid / teenager' look but then he trips over his feet and ties them bc its not worth the image

♡ alternatively ; its just s!3v3n. thats kind of steven but different right ( JOKING. HE WOULD NOT DO TH

♡ this hypothetical would be way funnier if he regained his entire reputation somehow of being a cool and strong pokemon trainer that he had when he was actually a trainer bc ppl forgot abt champion steven. and hes just like. "Okay. It's a neverending cycle of torment huh." under his breath when his kid cannot hear

♡ if asked for his name in this state hes just like uhh. uhhhhaa,.f uh. uh. stephen... thhhheee. third.

♡ he's probably not doing the thing mike and or blue did where hes the last e4 fight who isnt even an e4 member but is your rival. thats a bit too bittersweet for him. this whole exercise is fun but he doesn't wanna FULLY relive his glory days a year before his awesome trauma spiral. he also may or may not even do the gym leaders for the same reason. hes just a guy who his kid fights sometimes that is classified as a rival by technicality

♡ also yes he still has miki. he always has miki. shes just probably tucked into a bag or smth so ppl dont ask about why he has a cracked fucked up pokeball. she only comes out if his kid is in serious danger and he needs an intimidation tactic, or at worse, a method to quickly harm or kill someone with

♡ eg if a serious evil team situation happened and genuinely harmed his kid or threatened to their asses are not leaving unscathed.

♡ sorry this specific 'fake rival who is also your dad who also used to be the undefeated and first trainer champion of kanto' scenario is extremely fucking funny to me + fun in general. but moving on

♡ type of guy to dress his kid when theyre like a baby who cant think for themself in the stupidest halloween costumes ever. big pumpkin costume. hes about to crack into laughter when he takes a picture of them in it . or a charmander costume . because its steven. ( yes hes in a giant charizard onesie and yes if you make fun of him or his kid hes going to kill you dead

♡ he does go trick or treating w them too. he like. feels normaler on halloween. it was probably one of his favorite holidays even if pallet town was small an he probably got 50% apples and shitty non name brand stuff and 50% actual candy from the neighborhood homes

♡ type of parent whos going to squeeze his kids hand real tight when they get a shot or anything like that

♡ semirelated. hes tall and his hands are big but hes still gunna hold his kids hand everywhere even when theyre older until his kid complains enough ab it being embarrassing.

♡ has to crouch to talk to his fucking kid on eyelevel a lot of the times that his back hurts. like. more than it usually does.

♡ solution; just pick them up and talk to them while they are lifted into the air if theyre ok with it

♡ piggyback rides for his kid. 100000%. hes a piggy back ride type of guy. along with other similar things. would it be called grumpiggyback riding because its pokemon... anyways

♡ i think when his kids older they probably have a lot of inside jokes and steven likes to banter with them a little. playfully. and also likes to make jokes with the most deadpan ass voice bc his kid finds it funny, probably.

♡ stevens never had parents, so being a parent to someone else is... foreign, but also not really? as mentioned he did constantly used to babysit blue and red. and he was overall the teenage childhood role model for many kids in pallet town... but he himself was mostly raised by mike. so. either way, he very much loves kids and taking care of them. so tldr. hes a really good dad.

♡ i have more ideas but if you want any specific dad steven hcs explored jusrt ask me bc i have thoughts on this.

#wispy writes #steven strangled red #steven strangled red x reader #strangled red x reader #<- TECHNICALLY. the reader / his implied partner if he has one is very much not a central focus #headcanons

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savemeafruitjuice · 1 month

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TMNT 2012 Headcannons Because I Can't Function Well Enough to Make a Fic

yeah I'm sorry for not being able to write super well rn,,, but I'll make headcannons to make up for it!

TMNT 2012 HCS! (Slight spoilers! Don't read if you haven't finished season 4!)

TW!: Some Swearing! (my bad)

why does he look like that- /j

Leo

Lee:

I feel like he's decently ticklish but hides it most of the time because of his "I want to look super professional and ninja-y" persona, but there are times when he can't help it.

Worst spot is probably his sides (I've seen this around and it just suits him)

Second worst is likely tied between his feet and underarms

After the battle with Shredder and his vocal cords were trashed, his laugh is much more raspy and doesn't get very loud. Shrieky giggles at most.

Hasn't effected his sensitivity though.

Will squirm like his life depends on it, but generally is sapped of his strength after a few seconds.

Splinter would tickle them as tots, but as they got older it became less and less common.

However, when Leo became more edgy and stoic, his dad came around to make sure he kept smiling.

Gets tickled the most by Splinter and Raph

If asked, won't downright admit to being ticklish, but definitely won't deny it if it's with someone he's comfortable with.

Karai had to do some serious coaxing to get him to let her, but after that she continuously pokes at him to catch him off guard, sometimes even full on tickling him until he can't remember his own name.

All ideas for attack and protection go out the window as soon as he's tickled

Just flops around a bunch

Can't take multiple lers at a time unless it's light tickling- he almost instantly crumbles

Gets really flustered hearing "the t-word"

He'll blush and stutter, looking all taken-aback

Will literally always get his ler back

Unless it's Splinter, he only tried that once as a tot- never again.

Ler

Big brother privileges galore

If Leo's in a good mood, he'll take any and every opportunity he can to wreck his siblings

Tickles all of his brothers equally, but it's really just a matter of who needs it the most, as well as who happens to fall into his sight.

Likes using cheer-up tickles- and needs to. (These poor children are so traumatized)

Tickles vary between scribbling and poking, to squeezing and wiggling his fingers.

Isn't suuuper ruthless, but his brothers still fear him.

Especially if they've made him mad.

If so, it's game over.

Is also very teasy.

Will avoid saying the word because it flusters him as well, but still makes sure to embarrass his little siblings to no end.

I feel like he'd laugh along with his lee, making notes on the silly faces and noises they make.

The most common reason of being forced to take his wrath is refusing to move from in front of the tv while he watches Space Heroes.

Likely a ler-leaning switch

Donnie

Lee:

Donatello looks like he's super ticklish.

And absolutely is.

Worst spots are underarms, thighs, and general stomach-area, but he's definitely ticklish everywhere

Screeches and flails when tickled no matter how light

Laugh is pretty loud, but his giggles are very light and airy.

Will beg the entire time, but doesn't actually mind being tickled all that much.

There was a time when April found out he was ticklish (she walked in on Mikey wrecking his shit) and joined in.

Let's just say his face had never been as red as it was then.

Is tickled the most for not sleeping for literal days straight, or for freaking out, but there are times when his brothers (+ April and sometimes Casey) just tickle him to mess with him.

If multiple people are tickling him, he just completely loses himself.

Don isn't able to formulate words, his face goes beet red, and will go limp after a while.

If April is tickling him, he is so terrified of accidentally hurting her that he just stops moving- complete bodily shut down.

He still laughs and pleads with her, but refuses to move an inch, barely even pulling him arms down to protect himself. He gets teased about it so much too.

That completely flips if it's his brothers though, slapping and punching and kicking so much that it's the main priority to pin him down, rather than actually tickle him.

Actually cries very easily when being tickled

Gave his fam a big scare the first time it happened

Cannot take teasing.

He will hide in his shell until he either feels safe again or is forced out.

Such forcing is done by giving him raspberries on his shell. (The method was discovered by Mikey, and was passed down to everyone they know)

Ler

I don't see him as much of a ler, but let's give it a shot anyways.

Isn't very teasy per se, but there are lots of little things he does that fluster his lee regardless.

Things like creeping his hands close to a tickle spot before actually getting it, pausing every once in a while, things like that.

Doesn't really say much, and kinda just stares at whoever he's tickling. Especially April.

After everyone started noticing this, he switched to giving compliments sometimes so it was less awkward.

Tickles Mikey and April the most, but it's still pretty rare.

Has pretty light tickles

Spidering, soft scratching, and tracing are his go to.

Has only tickled April a couple of times, but it didn't go on for very long because 1) He got too shy, 2) He didn't want to hurt her, and 3) She turns the tables every time.

In all the times he's tickled people, there was only a time or two that they didn't get him back.

Almost completely a lee.

Raph

Lee:

I'm not sure where his worst spot would be, but for sure has a really ticklish torso and neck. Also Underarms.

I love that he's canonically ticklish- it's just so wonderful.

Gets tickled the most by Mikey (much to his embarrassment), but Leo is a close second, followed by Mona.

His laugh is surprisingly high-pitched, making a prime topic for lighthearted bullying.

Attempts to hide his reactions, and does so fairly well, although there are certain things that absolutely make him crumble.

Fights and fights and fights until he's too tired to move.

Absolutely will not hesitate to knock a tooth loose or beat anyone who tries to tickle him, but there are two instances where he will restrain himself.

One of these instances is when it comes to Mona Lisa.

If she is tickling him, he'll wiggle around, but composes himself enough to not accidentally hurt her.

Both of them know there's no way he'd actually do any substantial damage, but better safe than sorry.

The other instance is if he really pisses Leo off.

This has only happened a couple of times, but it is extremely scary.

Raph pretty much accepts his fate.

There's still a struggle, but there is a significant decrease in the amount of effort he puts in to stop his older brother from tickling him.

Still stubborn af though.

Mikey was the one who found out he was ticklish and has been using it against him ever since, almost always resulting in Raph absolutely getting him.

Ler:

Despite the ler energy I've seen him with, I feel like he doesn't tickle people a whole lot.

Doesn't mean he isn't the scariest ler in the Hamato household.

When the tickle monster that is Raph is unleashed, all of his brothers cower.

Has a much rougher approach to tickling, leaving his lee a breathless mess on the floor

He's also extremely teasy, though it's more so sarcastic comments the entire time.

Running from this turtle is not an option. He can and will catch you every single time.

Donnie has learned this the hard way, very many times.

There's a pretty even balance as to who Raph tickles the most, but the most common to see tickly-interactions with is Casey.

Those two have tickle fights all the time.

Leo has rushed into the lair multiple times because of Casey's unholy screeching.

Tickles people the most for getting on his nerves or to get them to be quiet. (Mikey)

Has tried and failed to tickle Mona, and is still unsure to this day if she isn't ticklish, or just hides her reactions well.

Switch-leaning ler

stopp what is this gif 😳

Mikey

Lee:

Very ticklish boy.

Worst spots are neck, knees, and ribs

His laugh is loud enough to make his ler retract and cover their ears for a moment before continuing.

I think he absolutely loves using tickling as a way to mess with his bros or just have fun.

Is mainly tickled for being obnoxious, but April and Casey will get him more casually, exchanging pokes and squeezes every now and then.

That said, his main lers are April and Casey, followed by Raph.

Squirms around a bit, and tries to hide in his shell half of the time.

Isn't as stubborn as his brothers, but he has his moments.

Is more sensitive to physical teasing, such as wiggling fingers, etc.

Needs some kind of affection after being tickled, such as a hug, head-pats, even just some water will do.

If caught off-gaurd, he may accidentally punch his ler in the face. (It has happened on multiple occasions)

Is generally open to being tickled, but will get a little flustered if asked about it directly.

Ler:

Pesters his brothers All. The. Time.

Loves to sneak up behind them when they're not paying attention and poke them or wiggle his fingers into their side.

Is the only one of the four to incorporate tickling into every day life.

Seriously, he'll sneak it into training to gain the upper hand, (it never works for long but A for effort) cheer-up tickles after a tough mission, even declares tickle fights sometimes!

A very quick tickler, rapidly changing spots and moving his fingers at terrifying speeds.

Gets extremely full of himself when he takes someone down, teasing and laughing galore, though this is usually his downfall.

Tickles Raph and Donnie the most often, Raph just to annoy him, and Donnie to initiate a tickle fight, or to make him relax.

Casey is slightly rarer to see, but that's because he mostly hangs around Raph and Donnie.

Loves playing chase before getting his lee.

Also will tag-team with April to get his nerd brother, secretly being a wingman to up his ego in April's eyes.

Makes goofy noises when tickling people to make them laugh more, and it works a lot of the time.

A full switch

Geez, I apologize for not responding very much, my mental health is seriously kicking my butt, but I'm still holding things together so far! Next on my to-do list is lee 2012 Raph, so I'll see what story I can put together for you all. I hope you all are doing well and have a wonderful day/night!

#r.i.p. my ability to write #I'm doing my best!#tmnt tickle #tmnt 2012 tickle #tmnt tickle hcs #tmnt 2012 hcs #maybe I'll do hcs for April and Casey at some point? Rat dad as well?

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afreakingdork · 1 month

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READER STAN DROPPING IN FROM A HOSPITAL BED AND BOOOOY THIS CHAPTER IS FEEDING ME SO MUCH BETTER THAN HOSPITAL SANDWICHES GYAAAAAAHHH. He said it!! he said it!!

Everything Leo's done and he's outclassed by SANDWICH /j but oof. I knew Leo must have an understandable miff against Reader but seeing him admit just how deep that jealousy goes?? Because of course. Because Donnie's his *twin*, because they've had this song and dance of being at eachother's throats and in spite of that Leo still yearns for some sort or connection or an excuse to sever it completely.

It lowkey makes me remember the discussion if how WS!Donnie would react to his close-canon self/Crush too much self. How would *Leo* react to seeing a version of him that got into Donnie's space freely and without worry? A version of himself that got to wholly have Donnie as family,as a full fledged twin brother with no hard eggshells to walk on?

READER STAN, YOU ARE HOSPITALIZED?!?!?! I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY!!!! I'M SENDING HEALING VIBES!!! 😭😭😭 IM WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!

This Leo reveal is so momentousness because I've been sitting on it for years and you've summed it up so nicely here! If we think about the timeline first in Weak Spot, though scary, when the bastard's three are introduced, we seem them as a little scary, but Leo is trying to do this bit in the midst of it and it doesn't fit and it feels wrong. Then when reader really meets Leo, he's bitter and paranoid and nothing like that person and so knowing what we know now, you see the aptly named song and dance was Leo's only source of connection. As bitter and cruel was it was, as lethal, it was the only one he had and that worked, but then we piece in more such as how Leo talks about how Donnie was finally gone, how they finally beat him back and there's such a bile there, like that's not something he wanted and then Donnie reappears, with some human, and he's different, he isn't playing the game and by all accounts he's wrong. Donnie is new and not the person Leo has known almost a lifetime and this upset Leo so so very deeply. Then, then, we place a recent piece about how reader said they understood Leo's banter comment from chapter 60. That's Leo comment about how they always do banter from chapter 19. In 60, Leo laughs. Leo laughs. Why laugh? Just because of the callback or because of something else? Because Leo then specifies he's lost his mind. Because reader doesn't get it. Because reader has made a critical error. Reader interfered.

I don't know! That came from somewhere where I've been sitting on this for WAY WAY too long!!! Thanks for letting me expound on it!

Oh DOING THAT WITH LEO!? THAT'S DELICIOUS, LET'S SEE: WS!Leo would need to talk to CTM!Leo. He would need to hear the story, just seeing it would not be enough for him. Hearing this other Leo talk about being the ultimate wingman and how he sacrificed for the team and all he did would bring WS!Leo to absolute tears. CTM!Leo would be sort of embarrassed like, hey big guy, it can't be that bad right? And WS!Leo would clamp a hand on his shoulder and try to suck it back up and tell him he did a good job which would surely water CTM!Leo's eyes from that (older) adult and self approval! For canon, he'd watch it like he were watching the TV show and just smile.

#me #weakspotfic

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 5 months

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Non BL Fan watches Only Friends - Part II (Part I)

Ok. So it turns out that although I had to convince them to watch this show and share some thoughts with me, Neely really committed to the bit and is now enjoying the writing part more than the show. When I first talked to them about this, they said it would take 2/3 weeks to watch all of it. Turns out they watched 9 episodes in 3 days. And they already finish the show by the time this gets posted. So the final part of this will come soon.

So, they wrote a lot about episodes 5 - 9. And I haven't really been able to catch up to them so this time I won't be adding to it. Also, this is gonna be a bit long so if you want more general view of their thoughts on the show so far, skip to the end, to the conclusion. They separated it more or less by character so I'll add titles so it gets easier to read.

Neely's thoughts episodes 5 through 9 Just quick notes first:

It's creepy to me that Top's Halloween costume is a us army uniform 😬 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I'm glad Chueam had a little bit more presence, even if just as supporting act.

I’m annoyed at this thing of framing Ray as taking Mew on "a bad path" as if Mew has no agency. Mew just spent ages teasing Top with no sex and in that relationship he had all the agency, and felt able to put his boundaries, but now he can't refuse alcohol and drugs? Ofc it's reactive to what happened, but so is Ray's usage and nobody seems to give him the same credit or patience. That said, Ray is being a lil bitch in his pursuit of Mew and how he reverted into treating Sand with entitlement.

Now longer:

Boston

Boston just keeps one uping himself, at this point he's just going for asshole so at least he's not pretending, and to me, he's on a league of his own; the "girl"boss, gatekeep, gaslight self-made villain of the series. But also, what I realise has been paining me in this portrayal is - and I think this happens in other media with so-called 'sluts' - that there's a difference between being a slut and the very reality of sex addiction as an illness. And media often does this muddled mix of both, where it's not really an addiction in how they show it because often the reality of that is too much to be representing on your average TV, but it's also not being a slut. I just wanna say: sluts are happy most times. Fucking is nice, it's not always a speed-train to self-destruction, it can be about curiosity and playfulness and desire. It can be intimate and caring and genuine, even if it's a one-night stand. Sluts don't so often feel remorse about fucking people, because they are not suddenly controlled by some demonic entity of lust that cannot reject fucking even if it blows away all of their life and surroundings; sluts actively choose to fuck because they want to fuck. AND 7/10 TIMES IT IS NICE! Sluts also are not always ready and willing for actions with anyone - they have tastes and standards and preferences like most people. Boston has rejected 0 people in this show until now, and more often than not he has regretted that sex, or it has been ultimately destructive to him or people he loves, and now he fucks Chueam's brother and very clearly we start the next episode with a strong guilt scene.

I just wouldn't call Boston a slut, he's maybe a sex addict, or using sex for numbing the pain of repressing his sexuality to his dad - in a parallel to how Ray uses substances to numb his own family stuff. Sluts are some of the nicest people I've met, cause also to do that respectfully you do have to have good people skills and empathy, sex is about knowing how to relate so you do get good at...relating in general, even non-sexually. But yeah, my defense of ethical random sex for another time.

Of course there's lots of gay men, especially those who are repressed in some way (like Boston is with his dads campaign and having to hide his sexuality because of it) that end up using sex in this toxic way, as well as for validation, power, a sense of control, or just this detachment that ultimately comes from deep internalised homophobia and a sense of not deserving real intimacy and tenderness and love. Again, I think that's very real within gays - I'd say maybe my experience within western (- socialised) communities, that's often a pattern I notice more in older gays, like 40 on - generations who felt AIDS and criminalization and mortality in a way we cannot begin to imagine. So maybe within a Thai context it's more common that this repression and reaction to repression is still common in younger gay men? I don't know enough about this; I'm also mostly in quite progressive (gender-)queer communities in very out-there European queer centres, so maybe more trad western gays despite generation might feel this. Here, I wouldn't consider this group of friends trad-gays. But again, underlining all my own statements here is that cultural context possibly impacts this reading a lot and I won't pretend to know queer-thai pov.

But that's how I'm justifying this from my angle. Boston's not a slut, we gathered as a council in an emergency meeting and he has surpassed the max levels of regret and guilt and self-destruction we are allowed post-sex on a monthly basis. I'm positioning him as either sex addiction or using sex to numb pain, or both - an addiction grown from his family situation and hiding who he is. I think there's a nice parallel between his story and rays that I'm tentatively enjoying as an audience. Both are very real in the gay world too, I'd say.

Mew

I liked the confrontation scene where Mew played the track during sex. I also liked Mew's very 'meh' revenges - I think it suits the character, felt a bit too much ado about nothing, but while still being cruel. Like the burning of the paper but in a way it didn't actually trigger Top, so it's quite mean and malicious but with no real effect; and the same with Boston where he goes through all the effort of getting that fucking video to confront him and scare him and then just gives it to him, nothing happens, no effect. But still almost genuinely malicious. I think it suits the character, Mew is incredibly beige and non-eventful, a personification of a yawn but with tints of malevolence. Just think of the build up of virginity and the importance giving to losing it, and then uneventfully he looses it in a flash because Top emptied a baggy of coke. He's not concerned with actually doing or not doing a thing, he wields his full power as a character in withholding until he feels he can't withhold anymore, until he will gain more from giving that from holding back, this was proven to me even by how he was initially scared he'd lose Top for being inexperienced at sex, and when he decides to do it, he calls Boston and directly says "i feel like he'll get bored of me if I don't".

I imagine he will do the same with taking Top back; he's gonna extend it as much as he can. He weaponizes this type of power, having something someone else wants, and holding that against them: I think you can see this with Ray, with Top, now with Boston. So I liked his revenge gimmicks as a spectator, and I was glad it avoided us audiences witnessing him forcing Boston to come out; nobody needs to see that ever but let alone in the middle of this chaos, it would be too far on the unhinged scale for me.

Top

I'm still not buying Top. The way he is being acted just comes across so two-faced to me; and I don't know if that's purposefully trying to tell me something or if I have a wrong reading of the actors expressions and gaze.

But Top and his attempts at making amends... I get it, its meant to be sweet and caring towards Mew, but he's still holding on to this toxic controlling side most times. Like at the beginning of the post-break up he's trying to act all sad puppy for Mew but he's also still running away blaming everything for his own mistake instead of taking responsibility, including visiting Boston to blame him and yell at him.

When he comes to give Mew books as apology gift he says "I'm here cause I'm his boyfriend" and I'm like... 👀 Again I think some people might find that sweet but it gives me the ick, it gives me controlling partner, it gives me gaslighting, is toxic - you're broken up, acknowledge your mistake, acknowledge that the person ended things with you, and start making amends from that place.

It also didn't sit well with me that he cuddled Mew when Mew was passed out drunk. Yes cute nice caring to put him in bed and, ok, sure, pass a wet towel on his face and neck if you want, and I can even hold my side-eye and skip a breath at taking his trousers for comfort but.. this person told you almost halfway through a vomit to leave, don't stay and cuddle him as if you're still "boyfriends"; consent for that has been very clearly renounced.

I find him a bit coercive, in this way that is very common in romantic media troupes. Like I'm always on edge when he's on screen cause I feel he could be Joe Goldberg from YOU or something if shown from his perspective (sorry for another netflix comparison). But I'm open to being criticized on that because YOU did just taint my reading of every attempt at more traditional gentlemen romantic character on TV.

Sand

Poor Sand :(

Ok also unnecessary to seek revenge in that way and telling ray about the recording was oh so stupid. He did ultimately caused everyone's chaos without actually being direct about it and in a way that ended up implicating everyone; and he was our most wholesome character, so that didn't pass unnoticed to me but still...

Poor sand :(

I was happy with how quickly and undramatically and genuinely he apologized to Nick and supported Nick and assumed his mistake. Hands down the most genuine principled character in this series in both romantic love and friendship.

Ray

Personally I very very much feel Ray tho. Pursuing this infatuation that is nothing but your own projection after a person has repeatedly rejected you both with and without a partner, both 2 years ago and a few weeks/months ago. - instead of someone you have gotten to know and be intimate with and you're falling for reciprocally. Like been there, it feels stupid and embarrassing to watch, but also, I feel him. To desire this dream you've been feeding in the midst of years of trauma and addiction and feeling aimless in life, he had fed this so so much as if it was his only way out of the cycle, his only salvation, that of course it holds more influence still in him than the very real possibility of mutual love & care with Sand.

We could've had a mature poly maybe, if he is really so adamant of "I can have feelings for two people", but I don't really trust that in his state, and anyway if so, do it with respect. Instead he just drops Sand and goes back to treating him a bit like he is service, or guaranteed, or like he can buy him. The way Sand got into that bath tub after Ray broke his arm and he went to help him recover, baby nooo get out of there cmon.

Also on Ray.. I wanted to point out that while he was with Sand he became so much better as a person, less messy, less entitled, he opened up. But in no way did he stop drinking.

I'm not arguing that drinking that much is a good thing, it definitely isn't good and he should work towards calming it down. but he keeps being blamed for drinking alcohol, and like alcohol is destroying his life, but actually alcohol is more a consequence than a cause (as often is). He was drinking and drunk and doing drugs with Sand, but he was held, and he was relating, cared for, and he was turning out to be a genuinely nice person. Yes I think he could learn how to give better care back to Sand, even in their best moments, but I believe he was on a right path.

The chaos within him returns when the whole Mew infatuation is triggered again. And this makes sense - he drinks because he was always rejected by his family, importantly so, his mother. Mew is a continuation of that rejection, Mew is what his destructive depressive side keeps feeding on to tell himself he is worthless, that he doesn't deserve to be loved, that he will always be rejected. He has deep abandonment and rejection trauma, exacerbated but not started by alcohol. And sadly, he is surrounded by people in their own individualistic, predominantly romantic treadmills, that do not know how to be friends. His main issue is not getting intoxicated by alcohol, is being drowned in a fairly toxic "friend" group. And this is another example of why this show cannot write good relationships that aren't monogamous and romantic, and will always privilege those. Sand is the saving romance to what friendship in this universe will never be powerful enough to heal. And I find this overall message of 1-1 romantic love trumps everything, that is drilled into the essence of this show, deeply problematic. But more on that later.

Nick

Nick..........................

I don't know really. It's too much

It's so delusional poor guy.

It's too much for me to relate I think. I relate to the overwhelmingness of feeling, and I appreciate the representation of a deep feeler in this series and within queers or gays. Like he really said I will sob snort for this boy. But on the grand scheme of: wire-tapping Boston’s car, listening to the recording on what looked like noise canceling headphones, begging for him to stay, messaging and stalking the party... But also - giving Mew the info about AND the name of the person with Boston's sextape? He's so lost, no action he takes has a logic sense in any goal or narrative.

And I think it's cause he's lost between his good ethics and values and his obsessive infatuation for Boston. He's also generally too much of a puppet for everyone, he's lost and deranged for a boy who gave him not only crumbs but a tiny amount of crumbs about to get moldy. I found his fall into heartbreak and desperation so cringe to watch, and I felt really both sad and pity and shame for him - it was almost empathizing at one point cause we all have been played to some extent, but it went too far for me to be able to relate. But I feel for him, and also, I eye-roll for him in equal measure.

Chueam

I'm still disappointed with not getting proper Chueam content, and a story line that doesn't revolve around the messy gays. I would love if we had left the misogynist troupe of the fag-hag in the 90s and early-2000s (I know she's a lesbian, but still), and started treating women and giving them attention and stories, and defining them for themselves over being some balance or moral compass for the men. That would be much more queer, even if she was straight, than whatever this background lesbianism they went for, it's giving Willow in Buffy but set in G-A-Y Late (gay club in London, substitute for your own gay club reference).

Generally, to conclude, and sorry it's so long cause I don't feel like editing:

There's a few things that are becoming quite apparent to me, that I still would love and think it's possible to change a bit, but have little hopes it will.

1) This dude hates sex! (the creator). All the sex in this series has weird dynamics in it, it's like none of them can just fuck. Even the "slut" that is Boston, we are told he fucks around a lot and there's so many guys, but every instance of fucking that we actually are shown or are alluded to on screen, has resulted in something bad. There has been 0 genuine, non-weaponised, non-traumatic, instances of sex in this show, that weren't a part of, or even the start, of a train of terrible consecutive downhill events. Even Virgin Mew's first time is tainted by him using it as coin to get Top to stop doing coke, and also tainted by Top being dishonest just before when they just both said they'd be honest. Sex is a plot point to make everything go to shit in this universe. Let people fuck unharmed!

2) For a queer show, it's really going above and beyond to paint every aspect of queer life that isn't a straight-edge, monogamous, and orientated towards building family and career, as negative. We are meant to feel for poor delusional Nick, because he is trying to save Boston from himself and his proclivity for prostate with a promise of love and monogamy. Top himself is now beginning to assume this role in relation to Mew. We even get a random-ass parallel scene of Jennie the bar owner having a break up with her partner cause she doesn't wanna move in together. Like allow me to ask why we needed this? they were sweet and reliable as side-characters, there were numerous other plot points they could've picked to give them some spotlight, and to shine light on the tribulations of dating as trans, and trusting your partner as trans, which is the closest to a good point I can dig out of that scene. But they went for an explosive argument that equates not wanting to move in together and do a next step in normative romance, as being an issue, as being the only continuation, no other parallel paths to love can exist. There is no future in relationships in this universe that doesn't end in your typical nuclear family constellation. And this is a queer show!!!

3) For a show with "Friends" on the title, and presented in its first episode exposition as about this group of friends, it is very unconcerned with the idea of friendship.

There's a loose connection between some characters but rarely have I seen acts of true friendship. I think Sand and Nick is the best, potentially only, good representation of a healthy friendship with no extra manipulative dynamics, even with the unfortunate tainting with betrayal, the apology and resolution is rooted in a healthy and horizontal and unselfish friendship; Mew supporting Ray when he (almost?) took an overdose in the bath years before is one too; Sand consistently helping Ray could be considered that even though the intentions are muddled with romance; maybe Top now helping Mew we could make an effort to see it as an act of friendship because he told Chueam he wanted to help him even if they don't end up together. Of course Chueam too, but again she's the woman insert to be the balance to the slutty selfish men, the voice of reason on the other side of the scale (I don't feel like going further into the stereotypical gender binarism of this, but...).

I'm scrambling so much for examples that even Boston giving Mew a slight phone pep-talk before he loses his virginity could be considered one in this world of absolute friend scarcity? But it's all a reach. They all have fairly complex histories and including some trauma, and not once have they had a heart-to-heart and tried to help each other through, they base their interactions in moaning about their current - or their pursuits of - romantic relationships, or judging those who are not pursuing them, or have addictions that impact them in finding one.

The occasions of help happen ultimately because people have reached such a desperate state that they need a dramatic intervention; and the fact characters reach this level of desperation shouldn't surprise us, because ultimately all of them lack the foundational support of a good friend group.

And this makes sense with my point 2 above - this show is deeply unconcerned with any type of relationship that isn't 1-on-1 romantic partner love. These folks just happen to share space, almost at random, in their lifelong pursuit of a regular long term partnership that ultimately exists in a contextual friendless void. Which makes me think about the wider context of why they're spending time together and this hostel they're opening for a school project. Of course they were "friends" before, and so we are told, but the moments we experience of them together is one in which they are out together for a reason, for school, and not simply because they love each other and want to hang out. I'd love to see them leave their current partners at home a few more times and just hang out in a bar as pals.

The End

And that's what they wrote until episode 9. Neely already sent me their final thoughts so I'll post them later this week.

Thanks for reading💜

I'll tag some people that left comments last time or reblogged. @doyou000me @respectthepetty @italianpersonwithashippersheart @o-nao-lugar @lurkingshan @heiscomingtomygrave If anyone else wants to get tagged for the final one let me know.

#only friends the series #only friends meta #rose and neely ramble #thai bl #ofts #only friends

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