#ITS NEVER FELT REAL

[shakestheclown]

y'all who actually have partners,, what is a text ice breaker to start conversation? im really bad at it 😭

it feels important to note that when we do talk, the conversation flows great we have a nice rapport and complimentary senses of humors it's just starting the conversation that is the problem i think we are both just painfully shy 😔 (and maybe traumatized .)

#all my friends have offered is 'send a meme' which just gets me a heart react which is nice and all but i wanna SPEAK TO THEM. #and ive also done ~little random updates of my day~ which also works but on my days off i dont DO anything so i cant be like . #hey i rotted in bed all day what did you do #i feel like he's interested but shy ?? i guess ?? or maybe unsure if i feel the same way so he doesnt rly initiate #he did the other day just send me a photo of him working as a little life update which i took as a good sign :) and it sparked a short conv #i just dont know what to talk about or rather i wanna talk about literally everything but i dont wanna be annoyingggg #i dont know whats annoying and what isnt i guess is the main issue #he just got back from a 2 week work trip thing like working nonstop and normally we'd both be free tuesdays (tmrw) but since he JUST got #back today i figured it would be rude and/or seem desperate or clingy of me to ask if he wanted to hang this week #am i just crazy ?? oftentimes yes #it's also 10pm on a monday so i couldnt ask now anyway BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO JUST TALK #BUT I DONT WANNA BE ANNOYING all ive ever done in the past is annoy ppl or come off too 'weird' by just trying to get to know them #AND I DONT WANNA MESS UP THIS TIME CAUSE I THINK I DO GENUINELY LIKE THIS GUY IVE JUST NEVER BEEN IN THIS POSITIONNNNN #ITS NEVER FELT REAL #OK BYE

[theartofmadeline]

“hell is real” felt patch sewn onto an upcycled flannel. inspired by the ohio billboard

#fiber art #felt art #felt patch #patch #upcycle #textile art #texile #hell is real #ohio #artists on tumblr #theartofmadeline #im glad i finally did this even if its shitty lol #for my fellow ohio people #ive never used felt as a patch before but it was very fun! #ive been wanting to work with clothes more #please let this find the right audience lol #i would make more of these if anyone would buy them probs #fashion

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos' #and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES) #sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-; #the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

[icarrymany]

the mh comics open up such an interesting narrative for our few surviving characters. to them, what happened in the videos was real, but to everyone else its a cool creative web series. when all of that is viewed as fiction, fans have a freedom to speculate about and invade the lives and privacy of real people. and that would be so uncomfortable and terrifying. imagine someone irl having headcanons about YOU. writing fan fiction about you and your real friends. assuming things about you PUBLICLY ! IN MASS!

wouldnt it be so cool to see a character grapple with that in like a self-reflective way? fans asking questions the muse is too afraid to ask themselves. of course, theyre the only person the answer matters to.

#like wouldnt it be so strange not only to see the terrible things that happened to u have a FANBASE #but also people wondering about the intricacies of your personal life (they view you as a character and have no idea it was real) #and youre disgusted and afraid of prying eyes #but at the same time #you never think about yourself much anyways (too painful) and realize you might HAVE TO if ur gonna be okay with what happened #spoilers um this is about. jam. #tim never took the time to deconstruct how he felt in the moment because he was trying not to die #even if he concludes he harbored some feelings (like people online suspect) what would he even do with that? #he can never go back and change it. but he can say it to himself. its something for him that nobody else NEEDS to know #but now he can understand himself a little better n form new connections #its like a culmination of my hatred for some fans NEED for things to be canon when its much more fun to leave stuff open-ended #and also my love for media adressing this in a way that actually says something abt the way we consume it #yall seen the craig and tweek episode of south park? yeah.

[fluideli123]

Sonadow Fic Rec

Okay, before you jump down to the masterpieces listed below, I just wanted to state this:

These authors have given this phenomenal content for free, baked with time and effort. I have never once ignored this, hence why I try and comment on each and every one of these fics. However, my energy and ability to be verbose differs day to day. Some of these fics I have not given proper comments for, despite this, I will be on it the moment I can be. In the time being, (once I am able to find my comments on each of these fics) I will be sharing my adoration for them further in other posts (and most likely link back to this one).

With that being said, please, PLEASE take your time to check each of these fics out. If they're not your cup of tea? Valid! But hands down I have never dedicated myself to making a fic rec like this until now. But I MUST share and spread these works, they are much too dear to me not to, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

(All fics are listed by order saved in my bookmarks, not in the order read)

tangled threads and bite-marked shoulders by @rubyiiiusions

Words: 32,287 | Series | Complete

Shadow hissed in pain. The laser had just grazed him, but it still stung, and he instinctively gripped the wound it left on his arm. “You dare-” He stopped. The laser hadn’t hit him. In fact, it had struck Sonic, right on his lower left arm. So why did his forearm feel like it just got shot? He whipped around, fear climbing up his throat, and he suddenly became hyper-aware of something new. It was like a sixth sense, feeling the confusion that emitted from Sonic’s fur in waves as if it was his own. “What did you do?!” Shadow snarled. or, eggman accidentally soulbinds shadow and sonic, and no one has any idea how to undo it.

Sleepwalking by Tirainy

Words: 22,117 | Complete

'There is a strong arm curled around his torso, the appendage keeping him close to its owner, whose warm breath is ghosting over the back of his neck. Sonic is sure he went to bed alone the previous night, but he isn't worried about the intruder. After all, this isn't the first time this has happened…'

Secret Admirer by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 24,313 | Complete

Sonic understood well what it meant to be loved. He was a world-famous hero, after all; his presence never went unnoticed. For the most part, he lavished in that attention, he soaked it in and encouraged it. But not romantic attention. So, when the blue blur found himself falling in love? Well, the prospect was rather daunting, no matter how easy Amy had made it out to be. So maybe, just maybe, he should just take the easy way out...

Rose Drops Series by @magicstormfrostfire

Words: 122,489 | Series | Complete

Love, Intuition, and a little bit of magic ensues as Amy sends Sonic and Shadow on an unforgettable adventure.

Wolfboy by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 73,856 | Complete

World-famous monster hunter Shadow the Hedgehog has a job to do. It doesn't take long for the one-shot wonder to realize that this job won't be as simple as he'd expected: a small town, rumors of a lone werewolf, and a handsome, green-eyed, chronically-injured casanova who manages to worm his way into Shadow's heart... What starts off as a simple job turns out to be something much more life-changing.

Blizzard Bedfellows by @magicstormfrostfire

Words: 21,294 | Complete

When a rare blizzard takes over the island, Sonic is on the run to make sure a certain angry loner is safe and sound. Y-you know, because...uh that's what heroes do.

We never met but can we have a cup of coffee or something? by @whitejungle

Words: 3,630 | Complete

It's been almost two months since Sonic lost someone he didn't even know, but he can't stop thinking about it.

Clean Slate by nottheweirdest

Words: 155,880 | Complete | Note: Squeal pending and I am cheering you on author!! Whatever you decide I am excited to support you!!

Shadow has lost himself before. He knows what it's like to straddle the line between reality and false memories, but this time, it’s Sonic whose memory has vanished. A premeditated set of circumstances and an accidental injury leave Sonic with no memory of who he is, his life, or more importantly, his painful history with Shadow. It’s up to Shadow to remind the hero who he is in the midst of a global outbreak. It’s a chance for redemption. It’s a chance to right the wrongs of the past. It’s a clean slate.

say i reckon (i love you, for a millisecond) by @redamancering

Words: 30,205 | Complete

There’s a hand on his shoulder, barely making contact. A red gauntlet glows around the wrist. Sonic blinks, the pain having evaporated so fast he feels almost weightless. “Shadow?” Shadow’s breathing heavily. “Problem.” The retrieval of the ancient tech Shadow (and Sonic, in tow) has been sent to uncover takes a turn for the worst. In this case, the “worst” means… becoming physically and inextricably linked to each other. For the foreseeable future. OR: Metaphysical handcuffs, and general gay buffoonery.

Judge my sins, not my feelings by yellothebeeloved

Words: 228,479 | Complete | Note: Possible one-shots pending from the author for the series, I am here to support you author!! What ever you decide I'm here for it!

Maybe he's not meant to touch. It's the newest excuse he thought of in hopes that he could prolong the game a little more; a careful ruse to enjoy the bittersweet torture of seeing the days pass them by, while he pretends he doesn't seek azure blue whenever he's restless. At first, all he wanted to do was watch: but now the desire to touch, to have, to affect is at a point where he's not sure whether reaching for Sonic would truly be fruitless. He wonders that especially when Sonic's eyes light up upon seeing him. When he corners Shadow, when he invades his space and he touches and takes and then excuses it by calling it a fight. Shadow truly wonders then: if only he was brave enough to reach out, what would his grip find? Loose stars or a battle-worn body? Standing up, he glances at Sonic again, whose eyes have now met his own. There's something heavy in the eye contact, something Shadow doesn't dare name. Neither of them say anything, and yet Sonic's eyes move away from him again, like they did. Shadow warps away, hiding from the stars once more.

Child of Prophecy by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 139,321 | Completed

On the night the Mobius Castle was ransacked, the Queen received a prophecy. “One of three will not cry; send him down the river, for you can only save your kingdom if he does not grow up royal.”

Coming Home by nottheweirdest

Words: 55,740 | Completed

Shadow's life has been full of mistakes, some worse than others, but admitting his unrequited feelings to Sonic tops the list. He's spent the better part of a decade ruminating on his regret and hiding from feelings he couldn't bear to face. He never thought he'd see Sonic again, and he told himself that was for the best. Until now. At the bequest of his former rival, and in an attempt to finally get closure, Shadow has returned to Central City. The reason? Sonic the Hedgehog is marrying Amy Rose. And Shadow is invited.

#I hope you all understand how many of these I have been in call reading to my friends #How many I have tried to draw shadow and sonic for #how many of them inspire my own writing #How I have dreamed about these fics so often I wouldn't be suprised if it rivaled my time fighting sleep to finish them in mere days #Also the AMOUNT of times I've wanted to pull out my microphone and read them aloud #Even though I would be absolutely horrible at reading them like audio books but you know what? fuck it #For these fics I would read them aloud the best I can #GOD JUST #I cant imagine a world where I never read these and its scary to think if they were never shared #Mostly because they actually genuinely impacted me in meaningful ways #I've cried real tears and felt such genuine emotion that I've been changed #Even if it's int he smallest bit #But it happened ya know? #Just- god I love you fic authors sm #Your work is never lost not to me #fox speaks #sonadow #fic #fic rec #fanfiction #writing #fanfic #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic x shadow #sonic fanfiction #sonic underground #sonic universe #sonic prime

[mintaikcorpse]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum #but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone #and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things? #YOU DONT #IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW #ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM #I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through #and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry #had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood #idk just venting and rambling lol #aroace #ace spectrum #gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp #and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks #its annoying but it is what it is #aromantic #asexual #lgbt #queer #talking #rambling

[pleasantmsp]

I love Beauyasha so much. I miss them so much.

The reunion gave me so much joy and now I'm in this weird happy but melancholy state. I love the Nein so much and I want more of them. And I especially want more of Beau and Yasha. If we get a Fjorester wedding one shot, I will be stoked. But then also give me the Beauyasha wedding too!

I'm really just hoping they keep doing these little reunions cause I love the Mighty Nein so much and seeing them makes me so happy.

#critical role #cr spoilers #beauyasha #the mighty nein #echoes of the solstice #and the rest of the tags are a rant #got a bit carried away lol #my depression has been real bad for the past like 9 months and i dont have the money or resources to go to therapy #so i am in a real interesting head space lately #this one shot gave me so much joy #i haven't felt that engaged and excited and happy in a long time #but now that its over that feeling is being joined by (like i said) this weird melancholy that i've never felt in this way before #tm9 mean so much to me #beauyasha means so much to me #especially in these times with the strikes and all the cancelations of wlw inclusive media #i've been trying to get back into c3 but getting through those first arcs is proving difficult #bh just doesn't feel the same as the m9 to me which is fine but sad in a way #cause I feel like there's still so much the nein could do and participate in #i definitely understood what ashley meant when she said she didn't feel like she was done with yasha #i feel the same #so i hope they keep doing these one shots and i hope they release some news on the animated show soon #and here's hoping that as I catch up on bh i can come to love them even half as much as tm9 #cause that'd be enough to keep me coming back and then some

[bananonbinary]

thinking about inscryp.tion again and how it was SUCH a cool and fun game mechanically, and then the lore was uhhh bad

the "real world" stuff at least. i really enjoyed the story about 4 sentient AIs constantly at war for who gets to rewrite the code. that was sick as fuck. it honestly would've been much better without the arg and meta stuff i think. no secret company men in black. no hitler for some reason. just a fucked up creepypasta of a game. keep it simple.

#fan wank / #even the stuff about the 'real world' card game that wasnt arg stuff #but the main 'plot' of the game with luke #mostly just felt...confusing? too many complicated elements #and i dont think it ever really explained What Was Going On too well #but if it was just the in-game stuff where SURPRISE the npcs are sentient! and really hurting each other! #that wouldve been enough horror all on its own #and if it was never explained where the game came from. i think that's scarier than the whole complicated backstory.

[hecksupremechips]

To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable

But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!

And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him

#persona #persona 3 #akihiko sanada #does this make sense like i feel like im going crazy cuz okay #akihiko isnt in my top 3 characters (shinji ken and fuuka lol) but hes teetering on the edge hes number 4! #i really loved him in portable i worked my ass off to get his social link i had him on my team the entire game #i found him really cute and endearing and hilarious but then like i played dancing #and er well i never got all his events cuz im bad at that game but i noticed that subtle difference #and then watching reload clips i felt it again i was like good god i hate this guy i wanna beat him up #which is so weird since hes one of my favorite characters so like what the hell is that #but i really think it is just this filter hes being presented with like when hes supposed to be a love interest #hes allowed to be more flawed and adorably pathetic and sensitive #like hes the one who wants to do the protecting but you end up protecting him you know? #so yeah this is what i mean when i say that if any straight person looks at akihiko sanada i will melt them with lasers #my mitsuru rant is a lot longer but its very similar just that ughh disgusting filter shes presented through I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH #i think having kotone as the protagonist fixes most problems so i consider that the solution lol but i think Aki not getting a real social #link is a major disservice and creates that super annoying upperclassman divide that makes him unapproachable and idolized

[whirlwindsworld]

I just keep seeing this image of Fabian in my head. This young man who so desperately seek affection and happily soaks up praise–

Standing in a massive empty house. Wandering from room to room. There’s so many rooms. Quietly drinking his milk from a glass he hunted down. He puts himself to bed. This will be the next year of his life.

He’s 18 and he just saved the world. He’s 18 and he killed his father. He’s 18 and he’s so tired. He’s 18 and maybe he deserves a long proper hug from his mom. He’s 18 and he needs to keep smiling as she leaves. (It barely feels like she was here.) He’s 18 and he’s writing his name on the face of the world. He’s 18 and his father would be proud of everything he had done in lieu of his summer vacation. (It’s not what he was worried about.) He’s 18 and he’s his father’s son. He’s 18 and he is his own man. (He was meant to be his mother’s son too.)

He’s 18 and of course none of it hurt. (She said she would start doing better.)

#fhjy spoilers #fabian seacaster #hallariel seacaster #fantasy high angst #everyone go rewatch sophmore year ep 11 #1:13:00 and 1:55:00 #then rewatch the scene of Hallariel leaving for her honeymoon and feel your heartbreak #its so obvious #that she loves her son #but straight up it feels like she kinda reneged on her subtle promise to do better #is cathilda in Leviathan still? felt weird that Hallariel said the staff was staying but Cathilda was absent #obviously you don’t go from never sober absent mother to being 100% present super attentive with no fuck ups #just like that #but leaving for a year long honeymoon feels like a big thing to just go for without any consideration to the effort she presumably #had been making #so did she never follow through and fabian has resigned himself to this dynamic? #or this just a real fuck up after her trying a lot #idk which one hurts more honestly #both. suck. like a lot.

[daydreamycrustacean]

i love how before the stream happened people were like "hey hlvrai fandom can we promise to act normal this time" and then The Stream happened and I watched in real time as the hlvrai tag devolved into insane discourse and harassment. peace was never an option.

#when i i make fun of hlvrai discourse i wanna clarify that its because I was in the fandom almost from the beginning #i was never in The discourse trenches myself bc my main way of fandom interaction is fanart but I witnessed a lot of stuff #and you know. its nostalgic in a bittersweet way. #getting serious for a moment #i think its normal that some people were disappointed and almost felt insulted. its ok if you kinda felt that way #when i talk about insane discourse i mean such takes as ´rtvs were ableist for doing this´ and of course the edgy ones- #being like ´lol get wrecked stupid hlvrai fans you little babies. you wouldn't feel this way if you were A REAL rtvs fan´

[disastersteps]

be luigita, get a surprise for losing!!

( anita lost a game against themmy, and themmy's losing reward for them is to grow their beard enough to be a stache and dress up as luigi for the Rangers' Costume Party! //happy sidestep days au )

#fhr #fhr au #fallen hero #chargestep #kIND OF SDKGJHSDGJHSHJGHJ #julia ortega #fh anathema #fh: julia ortega #fh: anathema #myarts #mycomics #LONG POST #myaus | happy sidestep days #this is the only AU i felt neets WOULD dress up as him #thanks to themmy being a lil shit #also yes themmy rocks in a dress so why not???? #their costumes are VERY knocked off #like. anitas just regular outfit cause they owned that shirt but not the overalls which they have to buy #themmys daisy dress is kinda like. a one piece sort of #julias costume is jsut two pieces so her tank- her pants- and two fake tail and the shell #likely helped by owl and her husband #anyway im never drawing jules in that dye JDGHJSJDHGJHSGJHJHSG #she prob only ever used it for a costume for giggles #and to riles neets up on purpose #all according to themmys plan the moment anita lose a card game against them SDJHGJSHHGJ #( no telepathy no cheating neets!!!! ) #this idea was supposed to be drawn EARLIER this month but i just remembered it like yesterday so I finished it today JHDGJDSHG #now i will draw the REAL halloween art and its just two (fake) vampires and a poor (fake) human-

[iambeees]

I'm re-reading Priory of the Orange Tree (a bi-yearly tradition at this point) and without fail, this is me every time Glorian Shieldheart is mentioned

#i just loved her a lot #i related to her the most out of every roots of chaos character #she just felt so human so real #and history never truly remembered her #her life would never be told in its entirety and the inys will forever worship a false narrative of her #and to me that is so tragic #glorian shieldheart #the priory of the orange tree #priory of the orange tree #samantha shannon #roots of chaos

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

it sucks when you have something veerrrryy Specific you want to draw but it hinges one one equally Specific thing you have no way of including

#its so funny in my mind but it would never translate without irl images #yknow it probably Wouldnt be funny out of my mind. its probably only amusing to me. but i guess we'll never know #absolutely unprompted #basically it was frank getting high with wally and barnaby. yknow trying it for the first time bc why not #and he takes a hit #and for a moment everything is fine. he says 'is it supposed to do something' and then he looks down at his hands #which are an irl photo of his real puppet hands. gray felt and rods and everything #and then - visibly distressed - he looks over at wally #who is a photo of irl puppet wally #and wally says something like 'dont worry about it' #zoom out to show an irl photo of the three of them on set and frank says idk like 'ohhhhhh no' or 'holy shit' or somethn #is this anything. is it. #its funny To Me and thats what matters in the end #probably....

[rpfisfine]

LOOOOOOOOOOKKKKK have you seen thisssssssssss. aint disco elysium the game u always talk aboutttttt

I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS.......noooooooooooooo wait omg......hold on a second...........thats sooooooooooo sad..... aleksa.................hold on..............................wait a minute........

#NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......????????????????? #AND YES ITS EXACTLY THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for bringing this to my attention im so inconsolable... #not the harry & dora narrative im gonna genuinely like. i just felt my heart break hes soooo so so so real i feel so connected to him...... #thats the part that broke ME and i have never been in a 2yr relationship i cant imagine even surviving the game after that. #asks #aleksa💔............he has a new girlfriend now so i assume he's okay but still...smiles carefully with a tender and sensitive style

[nurseydexunsolved]

have a note for fun lil moments as i watch 9-1-1. just got to season 3

#yall i was about to go to bed. and then after this i watched the next episode AND THEN THE CLIFFHANGER???? #so fucked up. and i still havent gone to e3 cause i have ERRANDS #may grant absolutely killed her scene tho. the way she was so shocked and frozen until she heard she was alive and CRUMPLED #it felt so real. such a true depiction of how a genuinely brave and reslient teenager would act. #holding it halfway together but clearly panicking yet still more in control than MOST ppl in a situation like that #but its her first big crisis (that shes conscious for). and the second there’s a bit of relief all the emotions hit at once #and then the REAL SHIT of her being like ‘ive never done anything of note i have nothing to write college apps about’ #but as soon as you see her face afterward…the idea of her having to make this into a personal essay is literally stomach turning #911 s3 #911 #evan buckley #911 season 3 #eddie diaz #may grant #tagging her for the tag analysis cause this is my blog dammit