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beca-mitchell · 4 years

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life as we know it (1/1)

Summary: After Beca's miscarriage, the road to healing is a long one. Their first night out together in a while proves to be more difficult than expected.

Word count: 2.7k

continuation from this. Part of now i see daylight—an au series that explores beca and chloe’s lives together as if they had been childhood friends.

A/N: this universe is the work-product of hours of hc'ing with @asimplefavors, so just assume all ideas are things we've discussed. <3 in this universe, beca and chloe are high school sweethearts.

Warning for angst and mention/reference to a miscarriage.

read below or on AO3.

——————————

“I never want to be without you again.”

“I never left.”

“I know, but it felt like you did and that’s what hurt the most.”

Blinking at her reflection, Beca murmurs a quiet thanks at both her stylist and her make-up artist as they quietly mill about behind her packing up their things.

It feels odd, as it has for the past while, to be preparing to go out when it still feels like she ought to be grieving. The aches and pains—the physical ones—have long faded and she has been spending more time in the studio, slowly getting her bearings again. Though she is technically on a break from the album she had been working on before and during her pregnancy, she still thinks about the music she had been creating—the music she had anticipated being read just in time for their baby, but—

She inhales deeply.

Music has never felt more soothing or poignant.

Though she still shares her music with Chloe from time to time, there has been a very specific solitude she has received from simply immersing herself in music again.

But more than that—losing herself in the love she feels for Chloe, their life together, and their baby who didn’t make it, but who will forever be so, so loved and cherished. All of that, translated into music and memories to be cherished forever.

Beca attempts a smile at herself in the mirror.

Chloe’s quiet gasp draws Beca out of her musings.

“You look beautiful,” Chloe murmurs, pulling Beca towards her for a quick kiss. Beca finds it amusing that for how much Chloe hadn’t given a second thought about PDA in high school, Chloe is now the more reserved one between the two of them.

It’s charming.

“Wait,” Beca pleads, wanting to feel Chloe’s warmth against her for just a few seconds more. Her stylist can wait a few measly seconds. “There,” she mumbles against Chloe’s mouth, purposefully sliding her hand up Chloe’s back to send a shiver down Chloe’s spine. Pleased with her own ministrations, Beca pulls back, taking care to ensure that Chloe’s lipstick is as pristine as it was before.

“You two,” Beca’s make-up artist says lightly from where she’s packing up her things. “I’m not fixing anything,” she sing-songs.

Beca smiles up at her girifriend who returns the smile with equal energy. “There’s nothing to fix,” she promises, speaking directly to Chloe. “I’m going to have the best-looking woman on my arm.”

Chloe’s smile threatens to turn into a smirk, but she maintains innocence long enough. “Flatterer.”

Though Beca feels light at the moment, an undercurrent of nervous anticipation rushes through her. This is the first event she and Chloe are attending together ever since the miscarriage and though their relationship is pretty much back at where it was before everything nearly fell apart, it wasn’t without hard work and pain. One month after Chloe finally broke down in her arms, clutching at Beca with the desperation of somebody on the brink of total collapse--one month and eight joint therapy sessions later--Beca finally feels like she’s close to whole.

So while flirting with Chloe openly is only a mask to hide her nerves, she still thinks Chloe is the most beautiful woman she has ever laid eyes on. She softens her gaze, allowing herself to sink into the sensation of being so in love with the woman standing in front of her; it is gratefulness and happiness and passion all at once--Chloe, who has been there for everything, will continue to be there (so long as you let me, Chloe had said with tears in her eyes).

“What?” Chloe finally asks when she senses the change in Beca’s demeanor.

“Nothing,” Beca responds. She reaches out to hold Chloe’s hand. “I’m just happy.”

She’s telling the truth.

“Me too,” Chloe says.

Beca knows Chloe is telling the truth as well.

——————————

The event is close-knit enough that Beca doesn’t feel any of the usual anxiety she feels whenever she goes to industry events. She can tell Chloe also feels a small measure of comfort having met many of the attendees as well. It is still surreal to both of them—Chloe more so than Beca—that this is their life now. By virtue of Beca's status as a celebrity and recording artist with a major label, they mingle regularly with celebrities. This event in particular is a moderately-sized event—honouring some of the older, well-respected music industry executives. It means the flashy celebrity turn-out is low to medium at best, which seemed like a fitting way to make a public appearance. Beca barely knows the honorees, but she supposes showing her face can’t hurt every now and then.

Her label’s president immediately swoops in front of her for a quick conversation. Chloe smiles and kisses her cheek, murmuring that she’ll come back with drinks.

In the past few weeks, Beca realizes then that she and Chloe hadn’t really spent too much time apart. It’s the only explanation for the loss she feels so keenly even though Chloe is just across the room.

“—Beca?”

Beca startles back to the present, flicking her eyes guiltily back to Tom who smiles at her knowingly. “Sorry,” she says quickly. “What, um—?”

“Never gets old, huh?” he asks, tipping his wine glass in her direction.

“What doesn’t?”

“Being in love.”

Beca feels the blush spread across her cheeks and down her neck all at once. “Oh, well, I don’t know if—” At his raised eyebrow, she shrugs helplessly and cuts herself off. “I don’t know where I’d be without her.”

“Well, behind every great artist,” he says lightly.

Chloe appears by Beca’s side again. “Is an even greater woman?” she asks with a pleasant lilt to her voice.

Beca grins, accepting the glass. “Took you long enough.”

“Well, I was going to say a great partner,” Tom corrects. He holds his hand out to shake Chloe’s hand. “Tom Mackay. A pleasure to meet you formally. Beca never shuts up about you.”

“He’s the big guy up there,” Beca clarifies for Chloe, talking over Tom.

“Chloe,” Chloe says after nudging Beca lightly with her shoulder. “Nice to meet you, Tom.”

They are soon joined by a couple, Dan Freeman and his wife Robin.

"So, Chloe," Dan begins in a tone that already has Beca rolling her eyes. She’s never particularly enjoyed his company, but he’s such a solid sound engineer that she begrudgingly admires his talent and tolerates him at least half of the time. "This one is always spending time in the studio, especially recently.” He tilts his head towards Beca. “I bet you’ll be glad when she’s finally done with this album.”

Beca clears her throat. “I’m actually taking a break,” she reminds him stiffly. “Remember?” Chloe, for her part, has not tensed up uncomfortably next to Beca, but instead tucks her hand neatly into the crook of Beca’s elbow. A quick glance shows a gentle smile on Chloe’s face as her eyes flicker to Beca’s.

“I’m grateful for Beca all the time,” Chloe says simply.

Robin coos at them and leans into Dan. “Look at them, why can’t we be more like them?”

Beca tries not to smile too smugly at her coworker, but a small measure of self-satisfaction seeps through nonetheless.

“How long have you two been together again?”

“It’ll be seven years next month,” Beca replies, unable to resist smiling at Chloe again who beams back at her.

“I envy you,” Dan says, shaking his head. “You’re so young and you have so many opportunities to attend events like this. Don’t have to worry about staying out too late or finding a sitter for the little ones,” he jokes, nudging his wife with a playful smile.

Tom laughs at that. “I agree. It was impossible for me and Emily to find somebody to look after our rascals, but we did. I’m sure they would have enjoyed this thrilling event though,” he jokes. “Well, the joys of being a recording artist...at least your schedule is king and you can set up whatever you need with no super strict deadlines,” Tom directs at Beca with a wink. “As long as we still get those albums.”

“Stop pressuring them both of you,” Robin chides. “I’m sure you’ll make lovely parents,” Robin says graciously, directing an apologetic smile at both Chloe and Beca. “But I know that’s not always in everybody’s agenda—at least not really early on.”

For a moment, she struggles to breathe. Beca feels some of the air around her grow thick and stagnant. The shift happens in an instant. She tightens her grip around the stem of her glass and wills herself not to crush the fragile material in her fist. Chloe tenses next to her as well and Beca feels the brief tightening of Chloe’s fingers in the crook of her elbow.

——————————

“I think...with our history and everything that we’ve been through together...part of me is afraid that one day I’ll wake up and she won’t be there,” Chloe whispers. She can barely look at Beca while she says so, taking the brief silence as an opportunity to quickly swipe at the tears welling quickly in her eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Beca murmurs, trying to keep her voice steady despite the sharp pain that spreads through her chest. “I would never leave you.”

“But you almost did. We almost broke because of what happened.”

“I felt so guilty,” Beca explains even though the words are increasingly meaningless. So much of the misplaced guilt had been alleviated over the past few weeks. “I still do sometimes, but—”

“Beca, don’t,” Chloe pleads.

“But,” Beca continues, reaching out to hold Chloe’s hands. “It’s mostly because I know that I hurt you and I know that things still hurt, but I can’t imagine doing this whole life thing without you and I can’t believe that it feels like I almost threw it all away.”

“You didn’t,” Chloe promises. “We’re both working on it now and I know you’re trying. I’m trying, too.” Chloe twists her hands so she can hold Beca’s hands properly. “I love you so much.”

Beca sniffles, surprising herself. Laughing hollowly, she reaches up to quickly swipe away a few stray tears before immediately holding Chloe’s hands again. “I love you, too, Chlo.”

For a moment, they both forget that their therapist is sitting across from them.

They’ll get through it. "We'll get through this," Beca promises. "I'm sorry for ever making you think otherwise. Too lost in my own head."

"Don't apologize for feeling things, Bec. I only ever wished I could take some of that worry away from you."

"We're going to get through this," Bece repeats, with conviction.

Chloe has no choice but to believe the love of her life.

——————————

There is a quiet pain in Chloe’s entire posture as she sits silently next to Beca at their designated table. The lights feel increasingly hot and jarring as they bear down on her. Though Chloe never shied away from the spotlight figuratively or literally, she somehow feels more put on the spot than ever.

The sudden reminder of what had happened such a short period of time ago—and the fact that she and Beca hadn’t even had the opportunity to tell anybody about Beca’s pregnancy before the miscarriage—sticks in her chest like a dagger through her heart.

She tries to focus on the food in front of her and the sound of the MC’s voice amid bursts of laughter, but none of that makes sense—it shouldn’t make sense, not when the flash of grief that rushes through her is immediately struck down by other warring emotions all threatening to burst free.

The fear she had felt when she had received the call from Beca—how Beca’s voice had trembled and hitched and wavered. The drive to the hospital and the energy it had taken to not tremble too badly so as to not get into an accident. Tears. Beca profusely apologizing for nothing and everything all at once, like she had any hand in what had happened.

And the distance—the distance that had stretched between them afterwards.

Apologies and declarations of love.

“Chlo,” Beca says softly. “Are you okay?”

Dragged back into the present moment, a rush of noise hits her as Chloe turns to Beca and quickly swipes at the tears that had formed. “Yeah,” she replies. “I think I’m just…” she trails off.

“Yeah, me too,” Beca murmurs. Her eyes reflect a similar pain. She glances around. “Want to...go?”

“Go? Go where?”

“Go home,” Beca says simply with a half shrug.

“Don’t you need to...be here?”

“I’d rather be at home with you.”

Chloe watches her for any trace of emotion that might indicate otherwise before she nods her head.

Together, they leave.

——————————

“I’m pregnant,” Beca whispers, tears springing to her eyes. “I’m pregnant, oh my God.”

Chloe drops her plate into the sink, hastily wiping her hands off on the closest dishtowel. “Beca, what? What did you just say?”

Beca smiles through a hiccup or a sob. She can’t tell. “It worked,” she tries to explain with a shaky voice. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my God,” Chloe exclaims, immediately reaching out to hold Beca’s waist. Beca immediately notices the careful grip Chloe has on her already. “Oh my God, Bec, I—” Poor Chloe, completely overwhelmed, simply begins to cry.

Beca looks incredibly alarmed at the display. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Chloe promises. “I’m just so happy.”

——————————

“Chlo,” Beca murmurs as they lie together in bed, showered and refreshed.

Chloe hums, tucking her face further against Beca’s neck and holding her close. “What is it?”

“You know what I see in our future?”

Chloe shakes her head, ruffling her hair as it sticks to Beca’s shirt and skin.

“I think I can see us with two kids. A beautiful house with a backyard. Maybe close to the ocean. And every day when we wake up, it’ll be to the sound of them laughing and giggling as they jump on our bed. You get the side of the bed closer to the door because I’m not getting my spleen ruptured by them every morning.” Beca inhales. “And God, I know they’re going to be beautiful. Whether we adopt or whether we figure out another way, they’re going to be such beautiful, beautiful children to call our own and that’ll be because they have you to model themselves after. I am so lucky to have you by my side. I was so sad earlier, thinking about everything and how unfair life can be sometimes, but Chlo, I can’t imagine what life would be like without you and I want you to know how much I love you.”

Chloe thinks she’s crying and laughing by the time Beca finishes, but she doesn’t care because she is pulling Beca in for a slow, deep kiss that quickly becomes messy because Beca is whispering words of love into her mouth and tightly weaving her arms around Chloe’s back to hold her close. It is surreal how this feels—how incredibly close to Beca she feels then. It is then that the memory of their entire shared history (littered with all kinds of memories, both happy and sad) doesn’t feel quite so daunting anymore. Like clouds parting to reveal an incomparable warmth, Chloe envisions such a clear and probable future with Beca. As clearly as Beca has seen it, evidently.

They share the same future.

They’re in this together.

“I know that we’re going to be good parents,” Beca whispers, voice thick with emotion. "Like...the best." She rests her forehead against Chloe’s. “I know I’m going to be a good mom despite my own parents.”

“You are,” Chloe breathes out with the little air she has left in her lungs. “You are so, so—” Beca kisses her, interrupting her. Chloe huffs, placing her hand loosely on Beca's chest. “I wasn’t finished."

“I know. I just had to tell you that you’re going to be an incredible mother too. I’ve known this forever. Ever since we were kids even when I didn’t even understand what I was feeling. I just know because you’re Chloe Beale. Our kids are going to be beautiful because of you,” Beca repeats. “I know it.”

“And you.”

Beca closes her eyes. The silence that follows is heavy, rife with all the emotion shared between them in the past few minutes. “I believe you,” she says finally.

Chloe knows she’s telling the truth.

fin.

#bechloe #my fanfic #pitch perfect #text #fanfiction #beca mitchell #chloe beale #angst #mine #now i see daylight

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prinsdeasmo · 4 years

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Happy Birthday Asmo!

ah, the demon who stole my heart www,,, for him i will do anything. so i wrote a drabble! it’s a little angsty, a little stuffy because the last time i wrote something within in a day it was to make fun of my friend and i’s ocs, but most of all! it’s sweet! hopefully!

im on mobile so h o p e f u l l y this line break works? i had to get google chrome for this ;;

please enjoy, though!

A Lovely Surprise

Living thousands of years brings out the extravagant, the luxurious side of you. You’ve lived this long already, why bother with being humble? You’re going to live even longer, so break out the champagne and $20 million debt your older brother is in and live a little! Or a lot! Even, possibly, too much.

But, thousands of years truly is a long time. Though you become accustomed to the sluggish movements of the hours, how the sun seems to never truly set in these unending years of living—there’s only so much you can see. After a while, you’ve seen it all. You’ve seen every face, every present, every colorful party streamer strung from the ceiling and draping from the chandelier; you’ve seen every punch bowl, every spiked drink, and every person puking their heart out at a party. The music all blurs to one, incomprehensible drone of instruments and screeching vocals, and the taste of cake becomes one akin to sampling recycled cardboard.

Asmodeus has seen it all. He’s been given every present, every declaration of love, every moment of insatiable pleasure, yet he still feels nothing on such a grand day as today. The most popular bands and artists of the Devildom play live on a stage of gold glitter and pink lights, surrounded by swooning fans painted in skin tight clothes and smokey eyes. The chandelier of crystal and quartz reflect the faint light of the Devildom’s sky throughout the room, shapes projected onto walls adorned in jewel encrusted banners.

Happy Birthday Asmodeus!

they read, his symbol of lust painted alongside those words. Those words he’s seen countless times.

This party is for him, of course, Asmo spent weeks planning and preparing for it. Everyone here is for him, naturally, handpicked by the birthday boy himself. They’ve all given him gifts and congratulations, they’ve showered him in compliments and adoration. Asmodeus lives for these moments, where everything and everyone is focused on him. It’s all about him.

So why is he so melancholy? Today is the happiest day of his year, the day celebrated only for him. Yet every time he looks up at the scene around him, he feels the need to down yet another flute of Demonus. How many has he had so far? It’s hard to keep count when the strobe lights flash in his eyes, and his own thoughts distance him even further from his party.

Even though everyone is there for Asmo’s birthday, it feels like no one is there for Asmo. That nobody cares it’s his birthday, a day they’ve all seen one too many times.

Suddenly infuriated, Asmodeus finds himself outside the venue. The cool, almost night-like air of the Devildom catches in his curls, softly brushing them against his face. With a sigh he leans over the metal railing protecting one from falling into the canal below. The dark waters of the Devildom rippled his reflection, a downcast expression lingering on his features.

One hand with his fingers woven in his hair, the other propped over the railing, still cupping the flute of Demonus, Asmodeus stares at himself. How pathetic is he to feel so empty on a day dedicated to him? Luckily no one at the party would seem to care if he was gone, a downcast Asmo doesn’t match the aesthetic of a normal Asmo.

“Hey Asmo.”

He’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear someone approach behind him, only their soft call that startled him. Asmodeus quickly turns around, a charming smile smoothing his face. Behind him stands the human; Asmo realizes he hadn’t seen them at the party earlier.

“There you are!” He clasps his hands together, “I was wondering when you’d be here, I got so lonely waiting for you~.”

The human blushes at his cooing, their eyes shifting to ground.

“It took longer than I thought to get ready,” they trail off.

Under his attentive gaze the human shifts nervously. Asmodeus had already noticed their washed and curled hair, and their silky outfit that draped off their shoulders, but he hadn’t noticed their face. Their face that the human usually paid such little attention to. Asmo always chastised them, Your beauty is your face!, he’d say, but they never did anything about it.

Today, their skin glows in the soft light of the Devildom, their eyes shine with fondness, and their cheeks flush with embarrassment. Though his human always looks adorable, today they look exceptionally beautiful.

A beat of silence passes. “Don’t you just look adorable~. You’re so cute I could just eat you up!” Asmodeus steps closer, his free hand reaches out to twirl a finger in their hair. Their face only grows redder to his glee and he leans into their face.

“And I just might! You look oh-so tempting tonight~. Are you my special present that you spoke of earlier? I’ll be glad if-“ He’s rudely cut off by something being shoved between their faces.

“T-this is,” the human mutters, choked. Asmodeus’s previous displeasure at having something interrupt him turns to a smidgen of joy. He gently takes the small, rectangular shaped box and steps back.

The box is perhaps the size of his hands placed next to each other, it’s shape resembling a jewelry box. The wrapping is a plain, light pink, and a gold bow is tied neatly around it. The human slips his forgotten Demonus flute out of his hand.

“I’ll hold onto this.”

Asmodeus offers them a smile. He’s truly grateful that the human got him something, knowing how much they struggle with money and their soft spot for Mammon.

“It must’ve been hard to save up for something,” he says with a light laugh. The human just smiles.

Nimble fingers carefully pull apart the bow, the untied gold ribbon falls to the ground, and the pink wrapping paper is peeled off to reveal a white box. The thin top is pulled off to reveal... not what was expected. Asmodeus blinks.

In the box lies an obviously homemade necklace. It’s simple, a thin metal chain looped through a thick, bulbous... charm? The charm is painted with a metallic, gold paint, accompanied by a painted on design of pink and red colors. A small, red heart lies in the middle, coated in a glittery paint that has it sparkling.

“Ah, you’re supposed to open it like this.” The human is suddenly beside him, their free hand clicking the top of the charm.

Oh, so it is a locket, Asmodeus realizes as the locket opens. He picks it up in one hand, using his thumb to gently open it more. His eyes widen at what’s inside.

The two doors have opened to reveal a picture. A picture of Asmodeus and the human. They’re not doing anything special, they’re not even dressed in anything exciting; they two are just posing silly. Asmo has his chin on their head and is using his pointer fingers to make them smile, while the human is trying to make a peace sign. Rather than them posing with a smile, they’re laughing.

He remembers the day they took this. It was shortly after the retreat to Diavolo’s castle, when Asmodeus and the human made their pact. Lucifer had forced asked Mammon to go shopping for dinner. Naturally, Mammon dragged the human along with him, but got swept up in winning a sweepstakes contest. The human was waiting for him when Asmo bumped into them and noticed a photobooth. ‘Let’s take a picture!’ he’d gasped.

Asmo had dragged them into the small, cramped compartment and 20 minutes whizzed by as he had the two posing and decorating the photos. With their last few Grimm they took a final set of photos. The first two were in the cute pose Asmo tried to have them do, but the human kept giggling at how silly their face had looked in a previous photo. The final picture was this one, the one in the locket he holds now.

“You kept this from so long ago?” he whispers, barely audible. From his peripheral vision he sees them nod.

“Taking all those pictures and laughing together is... a really nice memory for me. I don’t think we ever did anything together like that before. And this picture,” the human touches the locket, “is the best picture I have of your smile. Not that usual, pretty smile you do that makes your face look all handsome, but a real smile. A happy smile.”

His eyes suddenly feel hot. The human continues, “On the left door of the locket is that one really stupid picture of me you and Satan took of me sleeping after an exam.” Asmodeus has to snort at that.

“Oh, you think it’s funny? Satan drew on me with a permanent marker! I had detailed cat whiskers and a nose on my face for a week! I couldn’t wash it off!” They complain, but they’re laughing too.

“...Asmo?” The human looks up at him after he hasn’t said anything for a moment. “Do you like it?” They seemed worried.

Asmodeus bits the inside of his lower lip and suddenly throws his arms around them, pulling them into a tight hug. The human lets out a small, surprised squeak, but their arms wrap around him in return.

In all his years of living, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, Asmodeus had seen everything. Every gift, every proclamation of adoration, every blush across somebody’s skin. There’d been nothing that could surprise him anymore. But, today he finds himself wrong. In his hand he grips a small, poorly made locket that means more than any expensive clothing or make-up ever could to him. Something that isn’t adoration. Something that isn’t lust or heat. It’s something he hadn’t felt since the days he’d lost his heavenly name; Love.

Asmodeus feels something hot fall down his cheek.

“I love it.”

。

birthdays are super important to and for me so i’m really glad i could write something nice for asmo! obeysme’s recent asmo meta had me feeling so i tried to convey some of that lonely angst up in here yo

anyway, happy birthday to the best demon boy!!! i love you asmo!’

#asmodeus #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me asmodeus #shall we date obey me #writing #fanfic i guess?#i’ll put it on ao3 #happy birthday asmo!#!!!#happybirthdayasmo #ch: asmo

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hilarieburtonmorgan · 3 years

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Hilarie Burton Morgan On Home Beyond Hollywood And Working Beside Her Husband On ‘The Walking Dead’

FilmMagic

From her standout performances on beloved television series to a recent bestselling memoir, Hilarie Burton Morgan continues to take us along on her journey called life. Beginning her career as a MTV VJ in 2000 to regularly lighting up the small screen ever since, the 38-year-old actress and author wears multiple hats these days, with an even more important title of mother & wife leading her charge. Now with several exciting projects on the horizon, including her long-anticipated introduction into the expanding world of The Walking Dead beside her husband Jeffrey Dean Morgan , Hilarie is no doubt maintaining a lasting impression.

To truly appreciate her on-screen chemistry with Jeffrey, it would be helpful to know how they first connected off-screen. “I knew right away,” Hilarie tells Forbes about how soon she knew Jeffrey was the person for her, while sharing the story of how they met. “My very dear friend Danneel Ackles is married to Jensen Ackles and I would stay at their house every time I would go out to LA. When I was 26, I went to stay at their house and I think they got sick of me dating drifters. So Jensen was like ‘I’m going to introduce you to someone that I want to hang out with’ and he introduced me to Jeffrey, who had played his dad on Supernatural . It was pretty from the jump. He started sending me packages right away of books and love letters and he laid it on nice and thick and it worked! Here we are 12 years later.”

AFP via Getty Images

Easter Sunday on AMC, The Walking Dead will reveal to viewers the backstory of Jeffrey’s character Negan and his ailing wife Lucille, played by Hilarie. Even though this important “Here’s Negan” season finale episode will be the first time you will actually see Lucille in action, Hilarie points out that her character has played an integral part on the hit series for some time now. “The mythology of Lucille has been around as long as Negan has been around,” Hilarie explains. “When it was introduced that he had a baseball bat that he used to kill people named Lucille, obviously there were questions surrounding who that was named after and he has been pretty forthcoming throughout the series that his dead wife was the inspiration for the name and he has talked a number of times about her cancer diagnosis, about her death, about what that loss meant to him. While Negan and my husband have been vilified over the last five or so years, to me what Lucille is, is a real glimpse into who Negan was pre-apocalypse and the man that she wanted him to be.”

Hilarie says being a real-life married couple portraying a married couple on television was an experience they really enjoyed together. “It was really wonderful. We have a really similar energy on-set. Neither one of us takes ourselves very seriously. We like joking around.” Hilarie also hopes that fans will better understand the violent ways of Negan after they get to see the love and heartbreak that he came from. “If there was ever a time for people to understand Negan’s aggression or his way of doing things, I feel like the entire world has been prepped for that over the last year. So Lucille comes in as the person who loves him the most and loves him even with his flaws. Perhaps the audience if they don’t already love him, which they should, perhaps they can follow Lucille’s example and love him through the tough stuff.”

Josh Stringer/AMC

In reality, Hilarie’s life with Jeffrey and their two kids is far less dramatic. When their son was in preschool, the couple decided to set roots as a growing family in Upstate New York and ultimately build their home on a farm. “We rescue animals and we got tons of chickens and ducks and cows and llamas and an emu and a donkey that are in love. We have got a really large vegetable garden that we definitely expanded on during quarantine and our son just turned eleven and our daughter is three and they are fully onboard with getting involved in there.”

Following the unexpected death of their local family friend Ira Gutner, Hilarie and Jeffrey decided to become co-owners of Samuel’s Sweet Shop to keep Ira’s storefront from closing, with the help of a handful of nearby friends, including another familiar face, actor Paul Rudd. “It has been such a wonderful experience for our kids because they all know what their first job is going to be,” Hilarie adds. “It has been fun for our community because we have been able to use it as the trophy case for all our food artists in town. During quarantine, when you can’t celebrate with the people you love, we hired all new people and created a new space to do gift baskets. It was so wonderful that our community and people from all over the country were supporting a small business, because we know what lockdown did to those this year.”

AMC

Last May, in the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, Hilarie published her memoir The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock and Big Life Lessons Down on Mischief Farm . In the book, which she says is meant to be a love letter to her husband, her community and her children, Hilarie very openly discusses the miscarriages she endured and says she did not expect so many people to connect with her story over the past year. “This has been a book that people have gifted their friends or their loved ones during a really difficult time. For me, the responsibility of being a voice for people who have felt like they needed to keep miscarriages or infertility a secret, I’m very serious about it. I never want to cheapen that for anyone because I know how terrible it is to fall asleep at night devastated.” Hilarie is currently writing a second book, which she hopes to have done by next year.

Even as new projects continue to pop up for Hilarie, her nostalgic fan-favorite projects from yesteryear also seem to have the possibility of returning in some capacity. When discussing her role as Sara Ellis on the stylish con artist series White Collar and her commitment to finding a way to work with that cast family again through a revival series or simply together on a new project, Hilarie says, “We’re going to get the band back together, hell or high water. We love each other.”

Hilarie’s six seasons starring as Peyton Sawyer on the hit drama series One Tree Hill has led to her having a substantially large and vocal fanbase for nearly two decades now . “Peyton was the Negan of One Tree Hill because there are people who really hated her and then there were people who really loved how messy she was. Those are the characters that I have always been drawn to, which is probably why I am so defensive of my husband’s character. I love Peyton Sawyer. I put so much of my real self into that character and really fought for her a lot behind the scenes.” When reflecting on the longevity of this series that ran from 2003-2012, Hilarie has noticed the loyal One Tree Hill fan community growing larger and larger as time goes on, as younger generations are now experiencing the series for the very first time through the in-demand world of video streaming. “It’s going to be weird when my son or my daughter comes of age and has to reckon with all the dumb stuff their mother did in her early twenties because it’s there forever,” Hilarie jokes.

FilmMagic

When referencing her One Tree Hill co-stars, which include Sophia Bush, Bethany Joy Lenz, James Lafferty and Chad Michael Murray, Hilarie says, “Those are going to be the people that I’m close with forever. Those are the people who were with me when I was most unsure about myself and we’ve all seen each other fall in love and break up and been through it. All of those life experiences matter, now that we are almost twenty years later and we’ll love each other forever. We’re always scheming on how to continue to work together.” When hoping Hilarie will elaborate further with any hints for fans, she responds, “I will say that the girls in particular are very, very close. We went through a lot together on that show and we evolved together on that show and so we may have some things in the works that we will be excited to promote later this summer.”

As Hilarie strives to make time for her new and revisited projects, she is consistently striving to make her family’s schedules work as one. “We definitely take turns. Jeffrey’s Walking Dead schedule is obviously the thing that takes precedent. So if I can maintain my side hustles around that (laughs) . The kids’ school year is a big deal for us and what has been really lovely is that in the time we have lived in the Hudson Valley, the film community there has really blossomed. Everything is about making it work for the family and I think once you have that as your center point, it makes every other decision that rolls around it very easy.”

Hilarie wrapped up our conversation thinking about other women in the world right now that have to juggle many responsibilities at once during this life-altering era of the pandemic. “For me, the struggle is always between being a good mom and working and quarantine pulled so many women out of the workforce. When I see those numbers of the amount of women that had to leave work to be able to take care of their children because schools were closed and because we didn’t know what this virus was going to do, that’s heartbreaking. Being able to be a working mother from home and take my kids to school and take them to dance class and write my book and produce movies is something I don’t take for granted at all. I want a shine a light on all the women who are doing it. Homeschool and working and cooking dinner and cleaning the house and just all of it. You’re never good enough. So for the women who out there trying their absolute best, I just want you to know you’re good enough and you’ve kicked ass and your kids are going to be great and they saw how much you cared and how hard you worked and that’s important.”

#hilarie burton #jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead #news #2021

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komahinasecretexchange · 4 years

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Title: Thin Ice

Artist: @nadisabug

For: @wereana

Prompts: Ice skating for the first time; post-canon angst of any kind; experiencing a new positive emotion/feeling emotions that are uncommon for one or both of them

Warnings: Mild language

AU: High school AU

Author’s Note: So this is the extra piece I picked up after I submitted and finished my first gift. I tried to incorporate all three prompts as best as I could, and actually had a lot of fun writing this gift!! Sorry it took a while to get out, I ended up writing much more than I originally anticipated. I hope you like it though! :)

It was loud, and it was cold. Hajime could feel the freezing metal through the fabric of his school uniform as he sat facing away from the table. The air bit at his exposed neck and face, sending shivers through his body, and his fingers still felt numb with cold, no matter how he tried to warm them.

Hajime let out a short sigh and squirmed in his seat. He had become frustrated with the complicated laces of his skates, so Nagito was now doing them for him. Nagito, currently kneeling in front of Hinata, seemed to sense his discomfort. “It will be fun, trust me!” He beamed up at Hajime and Hajime felt something in him flop. He couldn’t meet Nagito’s gaze anymore, looking away from him and crossing his arms. He threw his back against the hard edge of the table, as if it could knock some sense into him.

“Of course I trust you,” he grumbled, face still uncomfortably hot despite the cold wind. He scanned the people around them to see if any of their classmates were either there, or if one was looking at them. He recognized a lot of school uniforms, and groups of friends, but he did not recognize anyone he knew. Not that he could see many faces, most of the other tables were occupied with students, seated, doing the same thing that they were.

Except they were lacing their own skates.

“An honor I don’t take lightly,” Nagito nodded solemnly. Hajime didn’t know how to respond to that, so they lapsed into silence again. Hajime felt Nagito tug on his laces sharply, then resume to lace them up. He had been yanking the laces every once in a while to keep the skate on tight. Then tension lifted Hajime’s limp foot, kicking his skate onto the back of the blade. After each tug, Hajime slid his foot back to reposition it, pulling against the tension Nagito held in his laces. Hajime just shifted his foot after the most recent tug, and went back to his people watching.

The local ice rink was having a discount day, all students in uniform got to skate for the whole day for free. Nagito had mentioned the flyer he saw advertising is in passing on one of their walks to school, and when Hajime didn’t take the hint, he managed to work it into every conversation they had. Hajime could never understand why Nagito did that. Why Nagito couldn’t just tell him what he wanted. He always had to make it Hajime’s idea. Hajime had been trying to be more cognizant of when Nagito was dropping hints or clues or goddamn date ideas disguised as riddles, but Hajime was still… Well, Hajime.

The word still felt new and exciting in Hajimes mind, even though it had been four months now. Date. Well, to be more exact, it had been four months and two days. Their four month fell on a Wednesday, and the ice skating event was Friday, so they were just celebrating late.

Hajime found himself scanning the crowds again for faces. He couldn’t get rid of the anxious feeling that one of Nagito’s classmates would pop up and start asking questions. Hajime and Nagito never expressly told anyone at school that they were… Together. They just came back after summer break talking more and Hajime guessed that they just assumed that Hajime and Nagito had become friends. They had never done anything at school that would suggest it, even though Nagito enjoyed spending all his free time with Hajime. He even went to and watched all of Hajimes practices. Hajime had gotten some playful jabs from his teammates, but those were easily diffused. He would just snap back and his peers always let it drop. They never were more than mildly curious about Hajime’s life. It’s not like they were not friends; Hajime liked his teammates and his teammates liked him as far as he could tell. He supposed it was because he was never forthcoming on information about his personal life, so they did not expect him to divulge his romantic one.

Either that, or because he was the captain. Either way, he never got more than playful quips about his relationship to the beautifully frail boy who sat in on all of the volleyball practices and games. And because they were in different departments at Hope’s Peak, Nagito in the gifted Academic program and Hajime in the inferior Sports program, none of his classmates or teachers knew he even spoke to Nagito. Admittedly, his teammates could have discussed it with their friends on different teams, but again, they never really prodded Hajime to give more than he offered on his own accord. To be honest, Hajime was surprised it was not hot gossip that an Ultimate - the nickname the students and eventually the school gave to the Academic program students - was sitting in on sports practices. Whether it was his team’s detachment from anything other than the Nationals Qualifier or their sense of loyalty to their Captain, Hajime was unsure and too scared to disturb the fragile peace to find out.

Nagito let out a huge sigh that startled Hajime. He then spun around and wedged himself between Hajime’s legs, folding in on himself. “I’m cold!” Nagito’s voice came out muffled and sweet behind the scarf Hajime had given to him.

Hajime was now sitting as stiff as a board, his face regaining the red flush. One thing was sure, he still wasn’t used to Nagito’s physical nature. He thought the unconditional and unending praise Nagito lavished on Hajime would be the real roadblock for the self-deprecating boy, but the physical attention that began after they became exclusive was proving hard for him to cope with.

“He-um, uh here,” Hajime choked on his words, his voice cracking as he pulled out the pair of gloves he brought for Nagito. He dropped them on Nagito’s knees, and Nagito happily pulled them on. They sat there for another few moments, Hajime struggling to think and Nagito being… well being him. He was desperately trying to get used to the burning feeling inside his lungs that erupted each and everytime Nagito praised him, smiled at him, touched him, fuck even looked at him but he was so unused to the feeling of being even welcomed, let alone liked, so it was a slow and arduous process.

The wind picked up and blew Nagito’s hair into his eyes. He let out a little whine and squeezed them shut, but made no move to fix the problem. Hajime smiled and pulled his bare hands out of his pockets. He flexed them to return some semblance of feeling to them and gathered up the offending hair. Hajime loved playing with Nagito’s hair, and by the way Nagito sighed and relaxed into Hajime, he assumed Nagito enjoyed it as well. He finger brushed the soft, unruly hair back and pulled it into a ponytail. He fished a hair tie out from his bag and tied the soft hair up in a fluid motion. Hajime always carried them for Nagito, since his luck had a way of losing them. The first time Hajime offered to do Nagito’s hair, Nagito was surprised Hajime even knew how to do it. It didn’t surprise Hajime though that Nagito had no idea the first year class rep in the Academic program was Hajime’s younger sister. Hajime tried to be as vague and delicate as possible when talking about his personal life around Nagito; he felt like he was already walking on thin ice and any wrong move, any disturbing fact could upset the delicate balance that was their relationship. Hajime knew that Nagito was better than that, but he couldn’t help but feel that the more Nagito learned about him, the more there was a chance that he could learn something that would scare him away.

So, when telling Nagito about his younger sister, all he said was that he had one, and she loved when he did her hair. He left out the part about how he did her hair every day until she decided that she hated him and refused to associate with him.

When Hajime finished, Nagito tilted his head back and flashed a smile that made Hajimes head swirl.

“Ah, you,” Hajime cleared his throat and looked off to the ice rink. Student were already filing in. Not that it was more interesting, he just couldn’t bear to meet Nagito’s gaze for much longer without kissing him. “You ready?"

"Yeah! This will be exciting!” Nagito scrambled up and bounced a little on his skates. “Our firsts together, how exciting!”

Hajime felt the color drain from his face. “You… Haven’t skated before?”

“Nope!” Nagito beamed. He grabbed Hajime’s hand and pulled him toward the rink.

Hajime felt dread pool in the bottom of his stomach, weighing his feet down, but the excitement and joy with which Nagito was pulling him forward was enough to keep his feet moving. It was not until they finally got onto the ice, and Nagito slipped, that Hajime realized. As Nagito fell onto Hajime, who had managed to keep a shaky balance until that moment, and threw them both onto the painfully cold ice, Hajime realized that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if anyone recognized them and gave them shit, or if Hajime slipped up and said something that would scare Nagito away forever. In that moment, he was so blissfully happy - lying on his back, his whole body burning from the ice below him - because above him was Nagito, smiling so radiantly and laughing so sweetly. None of the consequences he was so scared of mattered because Nagito made him so happy. Hajime just wanted to hold onto it for as long as he could, without worrying over the inevitable end and heartbreak that would come. Hajime was so happy, that he forgot to be miserable.

“Our first fall, together,” Hajime whispered softly, smiling. “What luck, that it happened so soon. Now we won’t have to worry about falling later.”

Nagito’s eyes lit up, and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Instead, he kissed Hajime. And with that, Hajime understood everything he meant.

Hajime smiled so hard, his face hurt. “Come on now,” Hajime nudged Nagito slightly. “Let’s go fall together some more.”

Nagito’s smile widened as he picked himself up off Hajime and offered him his hand. When Hajime took it, he knew. He knew that he would follow this boy to the ends of the world and back, consequences be damned, because this foreign feeling of absolute joy was worth any amount of suffering Hajime could go through later.

#komahina #komahina secret exchange #fanfiction

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messy-jin · 4 years

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Ikemen Vampire Secret Santa

Hey, dear Lunar Kim, I am your secret santa for this year! I hope you had wonderful holidays and they were filled with happiness!

At first, I wanted to go with a fiction. But since I’ve underestimated college and its amount of work for this year, I had to go with headcanons. I hope it is still fine with you and that you’ll enjoy your gift!

I would also like to thank @ikevamp-holiday-exchange for the opportunity to be part of this exchange! It was my very first experience in this type of events and I was happy to participate!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩ ✻ ✩

Christmas Season Headcanons for Ikemen Vampire characters and Lunar/Lisanna:

❄ This year, le Comte decided to celebrate Christmas with the residents of the mansion. To do so, he gave the mission of organising everything to Sebastian and Lisanna.

❄ Everybody had their own mission: Christmas tree, decorating the whole mansion, preparing a feast for Christmas Eve, buying gifts for everyone...

❄ Sebastian, being himself, saw this celebration as a golden occasion to learn more about the residents: how they celebrate Christmas, what gift they dream to receive... So many information, how exciting!

❄ “You nerd,” you laughed when he voiced his excitement regarding the whole situation. But you could not complain. After all, you loved Christmas! And to celebrate this holiday with your new family for the first time was indeed exciting!

❄ This is when Sebastian came up with an idea. “Lisanna,” he started, “I have an extra mission for you?”

❄ This extra mission turned out to be decorating the whole mansion with its residents, and to take advantage of this situation to gain information about what they want for Christmas.

❄ “I would love to,” you exclaimed, “but if Arthur says he wants me for Christmas, it’s a no.” This joke actually made Sebastian smile, and that was your personal victory.

❄ And this is how this week started, and how you went into a whole adventure of questioning without being spotted. Well... Of course, Leonardo and Arthur found out right away what you wanted to know. But hopefully, the other residents would stay unaware.

❄ After failing with Leonardo and Arthur, you decided to go to Isaac. You quickly found him in the dining room. And this poor boy was fighting against the Christmas tree. Literally.

❄ “L-Lisanna, I could use a hand, here!” There he was, a panicked Issac struggling with tangled tinsels. So tangled they seemed to actually tangled around Isaac’s hand.

❄ You could help but let out a little laugh. Tinsels were always a mess, when you get them out of their box after a whole year. You did not hesitate to come to Isaac’s rescue. And untangling tinsels with him was the perfect occasion to have a chat.

❄ The conversation was starting casually: how do you get in this situation, do you like Christmas, do the residents do that every year... And finally, the question came up.

❄ “Isaac, what do you usually receive for Christmas?” You asked. It was casually asked, in the continuation of the rest of the conversation. Really smooth, Lisanna, well done!

❄ Isaac sighed. “They always find a way to buy something apple related...” Oh. “I wish they could actual buy me something that’s useful, and not a joke, like a good book about modern science.” Jackpot!

❄ One gift idea found. You finished to help Isaac with this Christmas tree, proud of yourself.

❄ Before you left, Isaac stopped you. “Lisanna,” he called, “hum... Thank you for the help.” You could see his cheeks growing slightly redder, and you could not help but smile.

❄ Next destination? The hall of the mansion, where you knew Vincent was putting some decorations on. You just hoped Theo would not be here to glare at you talking with his brother.

❄ Good news, you spotted Vincent alone. And this man really is an artist, even for decorating. The hall was dazzling. You could not help but let a “wow” of admiration leave your mouth. This is when Vincent noticed you and showed you the most brilliant smile possible.

❄ “Lisanna, do you like it?” He asked, happy to be able to have your opinion. “Honestly,” you started, “You really have the eyes of an artist, everything is so beautiful.” And now, you did not know if you could help him, because he was doing such a good work by himself. But you had a mission!

❄ But the angel of the mansion beat you to it. “What do you want for Christmas?” Vincent asked without even trying to hide it.

❄ “I... Hum... Me?” You were so taken aback you actually stuttered it out. You were so focused on your little mission you forgot about your own gifts. “I don’t know... Maybe books or new fencing materials.” After all, last time you had a sparing with Napoléon and Jean, you noticed your fencing sword was damaged. And you could use new books, since you were re-reading old books right now.

❄ But now was the time to ask him the question back. Vincent did not hesitate one second to reply. “My brushes are getting old, to be honest, so the strokes on the canvas aren’t proper,” he explained, “I would love to have new ones.”

❄ The mission went perfectly fine, regarding Vincent, as expected. Now, you knew you had to ask Theo. But really, you were more hesitant about going to see him and found a way to ask smoothly.

❄ “Theo said something about needing a new coat,” Vincent continued, “Actually, I accidentely threw paint on his favorite last time, so...”

❄ Vincent knew how Theo were rather difficult for you to deal with, so you were grateful to him for taking it into consideration and for giving you gift ideas.

❄ “Thank you, Vincent,” you smiled. He smiled back, as always. “No, thank you for your feedback on the decorations.”

❄ Vincent always had this talent to make you happy after even the smallest conversation. With a spring in your steps, you decided to go search for the other residents.

❄ This is when you heard sounds in the kitchen. Curious, you went closer.

❄ Napoléon was in the kitchen, doing preparations for Christmas Eve. And you recognise right away what he was currently baking.

❄ “A yule log!” You happily said. Just thinking about eating a yule log made by Napoléon himself made you hungry.

❄ Napoléon smiled when he heard you. “A chocolate one,” he specified, “do you like it?”

❄ You came closer to him to have a better look on his work. “If I like it? I love it!” Napoléon looked proud of his choice after your exclamation.

❄ Okay, Lisanna, time for you to go on your mission. “Sebastian does not help you with the cooking?” You started casually. “He does,” Napoléon said, “but we were lacking some ingredients so he went outside to buy them.”

❄ The Christmas themed conversation went on and on. You have always felt it easy to talk with Napoléon. You felt like you could go on forever. So much that you almost forgot the point of you coming here. Oops.

❄ “I still have to go buy a present for Jupiter,” Napoléon noted. “You always buy something for Jupiter?” You asked, curious. “Of course, he deserves a present too, after all.”

❄ He was right, pets also deserve their own Christmas presents. "Wouldn’t it be fun to have a gift in common with Jupiter?” You suggested, “Back in my time, people make spectacle with eagles and have materials to help during the performance. It could be fun to try.”

❄ Well, it was back in the present, so you were far from sure to find anything about it in here. But Napoléon seemed to find the idea rather fun, so maybe you could find something similar in the past.

❄ That was a long day, so you decided to stop here. The next one, you took care of Dazai, Mozart and Jean. And oh boy, why did you keep them for the same day? They were all three a handful. But you managed to get everything you needed.

❄ “You really have everybody’s wishes?” Sebastian asked when you came to him to give a list to him. “Yes, that’s all I could collect,” you sighed. The last day really tired you up.

❄ Seeing your hard work and how you had to run everywhere the last few days, Sebastian said you could take the day off. And you did not think twice and accepted the day off right away. Little did you know that a certain blond angel somehow told Sebastian about your own wishes of presents you splits in front of him the day before.

❄ Finally, the day of Christmas Eve arrived. Thanks to everyone good work, this was a success. Napoléon and Sebastian’s feast was perfect, especially this chocolate yule log! Isaac’s tree ended up being on point. And of course, everybody complimented Vincent’s sense of decoration.

❄ At last came midnight, the time where everybody would open their presents. Thanks to your successful mission, each resident received the gift they wanted. Smiles were everywhere around you. Even Mozart and Jean were smiling. And Theo... Well, it was a less mean smile.

❄ “You forgot this,” Sebastian came to you, and you were surprise to see him hand you a wrapped present. Curious, you took it and saw that, indeed, your name was written on it.

❄ You opened it and discovered it was a book about the various fencing techniques across time.

❄ You looked at Sebastian, surprised. “Don’t look at me, it was their idea,” he smiled, pointing towards Vincent and Napoléon, and you could also see a blushing Isaac avoiding eye contact next to them.

❄ You were so happy. All this time searching for gifts for them, and you did not even notice they were searching one for you too. You controled yourself not to hug them out of joy, so you were about to stick to a heartfelt thank you.

❄ But that was until Napoléon spoke: “Joyeux Noël, Nunuche. Now, you might have a chance to be a good opponent.”

❄ You knew he was only teasing, but you could not help but glare at him. But that only made him laugh harder.

❄ This Eve filled with laughers came to an end. You helped Sebastian to clean the dining room, listening to him rambling about how this night was blessing for him and how he learnt so much about the residents.

❄ It was now time for you both to part and say goodnight. “Again, thank you for your help, Lisanna,” he smiled a genuine smile, really different from his usual polite smile. You smiled back happily. This whole Christmas Eve was a huge success.

❄ Sebastian went in his bedroom and you were walking in the corridor leading to yours, closing the curtains by the same occasion.

❄ And that was when you saw a figure in the garden. Wait... You did not dream about it, right? Someone was in the garden!

❄ You run outside, curious to see who it was. But you saw nobody there, when you arrived. The only sound you could hear where the one of your hurried footsteps in the snow and your heavy breathing from the running.

❄ “Nobody?” You asked to yourself out loud. You were about to head back when you noticed something on the ground. A long box on the ground with a letter on it.

❄ You picked up the letter to read it: “For Lisanna, I wish you a Merry Christmas, Vlad”.

❄ Obviously, Vlad could not come because of his tensed relationship with le Comte, but he still went in to the trouble to come and drop a present.

❄ Now, you were impatient. You opened the box without hesitating any longer. And what you saw made you speechless.

❄ A brand new fencing sword was laying in the long box, with one of the prettiest sword arm you have ever seen. Your name was even craved on the blade.

❄ You hugged the box to your chest, a big smile on your face. With this brand new sword and your book, you were sure to grow as a swordfighter.

❄ “Thank you!” You exclaimed, hopping your phantom Santa Vlad would hear you.

❄ You turned around and went back inside. This was for sure one of the best Christmas so far, and you could not wait to celebrate it again with all of them next year.

#ikemen vampire #ikemen series #secret santa #2019ikevampholidayexchange #ikevamp #ikevam #ikevam sebastian #ikevam napoleon #ikevam vincent #ikevam vlad #ikevam isaac

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misssunflowersandsangria · 4 years

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Roses

Chapter 7: White Roses

Hello, my beautiful readers! Here we are at the end. Thank you for sticking with me till the end. I loved writing this story so much and I hoped that you enjoyed it as well.

Summary: Life is a wonderful thing.

White Roses: Suited to reverent occasions, the white rose is a fitting way to honor a friend or loved one in recognition of a new beginning or a farewell. Their pure color conveys respect, pays homage to new starts and expresses hope for the future.

Flashback

“This assignment is ridiculous. How can we possibly know where we’ll be in 10 years?” Sai complained staring at the blank document on the screen. Life had been quite unpredictable so far. How could he possibly try to imagine his future?

Ino looked up at him surprised. “You don’t know?”

“You do?”

“Of course!”

He just smiled at her amused. “Please enlighten me.”

“Okay, so ten years from now means that we will have just finished university and we’ll be graduating. By that time you’ll have become a super famous artist.”

“Really?” He couldn’t help but grin at how animated and excited she was while developing their imagined future.

“Yes! They’ll eat up the tragic orphan story.”

“Thank you for narrating my pain.”

She just waved off his concerns. “Oh, hush. It’s part of the mystique. Anyway, you’ll have already made a ton of money selling your paintings and you'll have spent a good amount of it on your very best friend.”

“Who might that be?” He teased her to which she just ruffled his hair.

“Stop it, you love me. As I was saying you’ll be this super amazing famous artist and I’ll be your wonderful best friend that you’ll attribute all your success to. We’ll move into this amazing house. You know the one you promised to buy me.”

“The one that you’re forcing me to buy you with all my hard-earned artist money.”

“Yes, precisely! I’ll keep going to school to be something really awesome like a doctor. You’ll keep painting and we’ll be happy.”

He just smiled at the simplicity but perfection of the future she painted. They were still together, pursuing their dreams and happy. It was more than he could ever hope for.

“So we’re still best friends ten years from now?”

“Obviously, nothing will ever change that.” She promised with a bright smile.

He nodded praying that Ino got everything that she dreamed of and that he would be lucky enough to see those wishes come true. “Okay, I’m going to write that for my essay.”

“Hey!”

End Flashback

At the end of the semester, Sai sat with the Yamanakas cheering along as Ino and their friends crossed the stage to collect their degrees.

As a teacher and as a friend it was very gratifying to see them all take that leap into adulthood. The world wasn’t quite ready for them yet.

His gallery opening had gone well and the critics hailed it as a renaissance. His work was new, innovative and different from what he’d done before. He had multiple offers for his drawing of Ino. Especially upon knowing that it was one of his original works. He refused each time. It was far too precious to him.

As he reflected on the path that life had taken him he appreciated all the highs and the lows. His life was far better than most and he knew that it could have been a lot different if one pretty blonde girl hadn’t chosen to become his friend.

He had always imagined that a relationship with her would be incredible but he could have never envisioned just how sweet it would be. He’d struggled his whole life to find a place in the world, to find somewhere that he belonged. All along that place was with her. When they were younger they would dream about this moment. Becoming adults, entering the real world together. It was the future that he would picture when he was sad and alone. Life had a funny way of working out.

His class had given him a glowing review at the end of the semester. Many of his students came up to him personally to tell him that they were now interested in the Arts. The university had been so impressed that they offered him an additional class to teach the following semester. He was thankful for the opportunity, excited to inspire the next generation of artists.

Ino may not have a future in art but she had chosen a path in life. After a quick vacation together she was jumping headfirst into a post-baccalaureate program to pursue her Ph.D. She wanted to become a Psychologist. She’d always wanted to help people and relished in the idea of helping them heal mentally and emotionally.

Once the ceremony was over she ran over to her parents who heaped on praises and words of congratulations. They had been in tears the entire ceremony overwhelmed with pride.

Sai greeted her with open arms. “Congratulations beautiful.” He kissed her forehead affectionately.

“Thank you, Sai.” She took a deep breath to take in the moment. “I’m happy that you’re here.” Neither took for granted that they were there in this moment together.

He squeezed her just a little tighter. “Me too. I have a surprise for you.”

“Another one?” She asked touching the rose pendant on her necklace that he’d given her that morning.

“Yes.”

“Go, sweetheart, we’ll see you at the party tonight.” Her mom assured her excitedly knowing about the surprise. The parents of all their friends decided to host one large graduation party that evening.

Ino nodded, her boyfriend never failed to amaze her. “Okay, lead the way.”

He drove them about 20 minutes away from the university to a small neighborhood the street lined with large trees. Beautiful family homes filled the sidewalk while kids played and ran up and down the streets.

She stared out the window awed by the different homes they passed. “Where are we? Is the surprise here?”

He simply kissed her knuckles. “Patience Beautiful.”

He parked in the driveway connected to the house on the corner. It had a large front yard with a welcoming doorway. From outside she could see large windows that showcased the interior.

Surprising her he took out a key from his pocket taking her hand to bring her inside. The entryway was large featuring a spiral staircase to the second story. It was spacious and she could easily imagine a family making wonderful memories there.

“Sai? What are we doing here?” Why did he have a key? Was it okay that they were just walking into someone’s house?

“Just a minute.” He led her through the kitchen out towards the porch. Walking outside she was floored by a gorgeous garden filled with flowers, purple bush clovers, and roses of every color. Suddenly it began to dawn on her.

Taking her into his arms he whispered. “Welcome home Ino.”

She felt her breath catch. “What?”

“I bought you your house with a garden of roses and bush clovers.”

She brought a hand to cover her mouth stunned and overwhelmed. “Sai…”

“If you hate it we can always find another one-“

“No, Sai, it’s perfect. Thank you. That’s not enough but I’m speechless.” She couldn’t believe that he remembered that conversation.

“Just imagine it. I can paint out here. We’ll set up your office upstairs. Our son can play in the living room and ride his bike down the street. I think that we can be very happy here.” His smile was so bright and his eyes looked so hopeful.

There was no stopping the flood of tears. The life and future that he described of home, and family. There was little else that she could want in life. She had her best friend, her true love and a home that they would build and fill with memories. They would experience birthdays, anniversaries, milestones and celebrations. Once they all had kids, Chouji and Shikamaru’s kids would come by and play and their babies would become an unstoppable trio. The next generation of InoShikaCho. Her and Sai would grow old together and fall more in love with every passing day. No matter what may come she knew that they would be happy. And she knew at this moment that she was the luckiest girl in the world.

They walked hand in hand amongst the roses before touring their house. She couldn’t have dreamt a more perfect place for them to build their lives together.

“Sai, this is incredible. I love you so much.” His thumbs brushed the tears away from her eyes.

“I love you too Beautiful, I’m excited for our adventure to continue.” He kissed her with the promise of their future and forever on his lips.

Flashforward

“Ready to go see your mommy graduate Jin?” Inojin just giggled smiling and looking up at his father. While Ino prepared for the graduation ceremony they spent the morning outside tending to the garden.

“This hat is hideous,” Ino complained before placing it on Inojin’s head. He just grabbed at it before placing it in his mouth.

They smiled down at their sweet baby before Sai pulled her into his arms. “How are you feeling Dr. Yamanaka?” Sai asked with a grin knowing how relieved and excited she was to finally be done with school.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around him sighing against his chest. “Wonderful Mr. Yamanaka. Is Inojin all ready to go?”

“All set.” It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to have a baby while trying to complete a doctorate program but Ino wanted to start a family and his flexible schedule helped out a lot. Inojin was their final missing piece, giving them a sense of completion and joy. Sai couldn’t wait to be a father, ready and excited to give his son the childhood and experiences he didn’t have.

“I’m very proud of you Beautiful.”

She smiled at him before reaching up for a kiss. Relief, joy, and appreciation a mix of emotions ran through her. While he was gone she’d all but given up on the idyllic future she’d imagined with him. Their life now though was far better than either of them could have ever dreamt.

Sai held onto his family taking a moment to thank the universe for his wife and son, for this family and life that they shared. Their journey may have taken some twists and turns, but it was worth it for all the roads led him there. A life with his Loves amongst the roses.

The End

Roses: 🌷

Chapter 1: Roses

Chapter 2: Yellow Roses

Chapter 3: Purple Roses

Chapter 4: Pink Roses

Chapter 5: Orange Roses

Chapter 6: Red Roses

Chapter 7: White Roses

Thank you again for all your love and support. They are such an amazing couple and that made it so easy to write for them. I hope to have something for them again soon. But till the next one, thank you and I love you! 💕

#saiino #inosai #sai x ino #modernau #fanfic #complete

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innalterable · 4 years

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[ park chaeyoung, 22 ] did you hear? there’s a new addition to the hypehens family! [ innalterable ] was starting to get known for [ speed paints, tutorials & supplies reviews ] and i think they will hit it big this time around as a part of the [ expresso ] squad at hypehens. [ kwang inna ] is known to be [ friendly & impulsive ] and enjoys [ collecting polaroids ]. with their vibes of [ singing horribly while taking a shower & enamel pins all over a denim jacket ] and a style that is unique, i think they are going to take the internet by storm!

hello everyone! i’m glad to introduce you to my daughter inna / danna! she’s a bit of a mess that only wants to spend the whole day in her home painting if possible. you can find her basics here, personality here, background here. if you're interested in plotting, you can find me in discord at internebula#6982!

without furher ado, here’s more about her:

basic information

― full name: kwang inna ― nickname: nana ― age: twenty two ― date of birth: february 11th, 1998 ― birthplace: los angeles, california. ― current location: seoul, south korea ― ethnicity: asian ― nationality: (dual nationality) korean-american ― gender: cisfemale ― pronouns: she/her ― orientation: bisexual, demiromantic. ― religion: atheist ― occupation: content creator, freelance artist ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (fluent)

physical appearance

― faceclaim: park chaeyoung (rosé) of blackpink ― hair: naturally brown, currently dyed blonde. often put in messy buns, ponytails, french braids but also let loose with casual curls she gets from sleeping with her hair braided. ― eye colour: coffee brown ― height: 168cm ― weight: 45kg ― tattoos: four; the great wave off kanagawa on her right arm, flowery half sleeve on her left arm, moon arrow behind right ear and a matching triangle tattoo with her brother on her right inner forearm. ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe in both ears, anti-tragus on the left one, double helix on the right one. ― clothing style: high-waisted skirts, dresses that flow nicely with the wind, mom jeans that are a bit too long for her, graphic t-shirts she’s gotten from garage sales and thrift shops, oversized jackets she’s customized with either paint or enamel pins or patches, long coats that resemble those of classic detectives, her good ol’ dr. marteens in a variety of colors, knee and thigh high socks, athleisure outfits (consisting mainly of leggins and big sweatshirts), crop-tops, sling bags, whatever pair of sneakers she finds and matching bag or backpack.

headcanons

― born and raised in los angeles, her parents moved to usa right after they got married in their mid twenties only because of the feeling of adventure. they both got stable jobs there and even though her mom was the one that struggled the most with the different language, with the help of her husband she was able to improve steadily.

― ever since she was young, inna has showcased exceptional skills when it came to drawing and painting (if you consider the crayon scattered all over the walls of their apartment back in los angeles as art). always restless, she got easily bored with the common toys and games, only truly finding joy in the coloring books her parents always got her instead of dolls and an easy bake oven.

― she has always been heavily spoiled by every member of their family and inna grew used to this. it was no surprise that she always got what she wanted with a simple smile and her trademark grabby hands (she still does this till now and it’s absolutely gross). the one that spoiled her the most was her brother.

― inna holds dear every member of her family and despite being the ultimate spoiled princess, she always offered help around the house when she became older and realized that everyone had to do something for their household. she hated washing dishes though and always traded that task with her brother to the point that it became a natural thing for him to wash them and for her to mop and take the trash out. to this day, she will avoid washing dishes at any cost and her apartment often has a pile of dirty dishes which only makes it worse when she runs out of clean ones.

― the divorce of her parents hit her hard (spoiler alert: her father was awful when no one was seeing and cheated a lot on her mom, which she forgave every damn time until he crossed the line and brought another girl to their place) mainly because she didn’t understand what was happening at the moment and no one took their time to explain it to her. it was difficult to deal with her behaviour back then, she threw really loud tantrums and demanded to see her father almost daily and, whenever this didn’t happen, she’d go on a silent protest by not doing anything they asked her to. it’s years later that she understands everything (thanks to an argument she had with her brother for defending her dad and he just exploded). this, of course, greatly disappointed her and made her feel bad for still standing by her dad’s side.

― after that, inna just like her brother, closed a little to their father even though he was still as kind, loving and caring as ever with them despite everything. his attitude made her doubt her mother and brother several times, but then came the first girlfriend he ever introduced to them, and then the second… and so on.

― it was obvious that her mother drastically changed after the divorce and this scared inna a lot: letting someone in and become vulnerable with them only to have your heart broken sounded absolutely painful. and she didn’t want that. plus, her mom’s constant reminders of how she can’t trust anyone that its not her or her brother stayed deeply engraved within her.

― she’s never had a stable relationship, if anything, the longer she’s “gone out” with someone is a couple of weeks and after that, she ghosted them with no remorse. inna has had crushes in the past, but rarely ever actively pursues someone unless she’s really curious or interested to know more about them. nonetheless, she's a bit of a flirt and tends to get clingy and touchy when she's comfortable/close enough with someone.

― school is difficult in every stage for her, always getting rather mediocre grades in most of her classes except those that required a more creative and practical approach. simply put: she was bad at theoric classes and anything related to math and physics. though, inna was always close to failing but never did so. this was just one of the many reasons she didn’t want to pursue a college education.

― the creation of her channel is all thanks to her brother, her self-proclaimed number one fan and the one person that’s always encouraged her to keep going with her art. he suggested the idea and told her that they could do a testing video to see how comfortable she felt with it before uploading it. turns out, inna was more than okay with the camera for it focused on her hands and process the whole time. voice over was not necessary back then but as her channel evolved, so did the quality and content of her videos. steadily, she introduced different aspects of herself, starting with her voice by doing easy-to-follow tutorials and later on, her face was revealed when doing an art haul video. this helped her become more comfortable with the camera and now, every couple of weeks she posts vlogs of her visits to museums or events or just updates for her community.

― despite her popularity and some people even recognising her on the streets, inna has never considered herself to be a celebrity. in fact, she feels awkward with the title for she considers her channel to be just another one. she appreciates though whenever her prints get sold out or when someone asks for her autograph and a photo or even when she is invited to events as a special guest.

― the kind to get really excited when talking about things she likes. don’t get her started on her favorite medium or her favorite painting because she might go on for twenty seven minutes straight about how watercolors are the superior medium to work with.

― she likes experimenting with any and every medium out there, particularly enjoying art subscription boxes that always surprised her and push her out of her comfort zone. her specialization is landscapes and character design, though she’s recently learning to draw more animals and plants.

#hype!intro

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achromaticstars-archived · 4 years

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Wei Wuxian’s AU Verses

Paranormal: Wei Ying was born as an empath while it was difficult for him to control his abilities as a child, that was until he got help from his mentor. He decided to use his empathic abilities to help people with the hauntings that they are dealing with. v: I know what they feel

Happy Potter: Wei Ying is apart of the house, Ravenclaw which was the house that his relatives were apart of despite him being adopted. He is interested in magical creatures, history, and making things. He hasn’t decided what he wants to do after graduating from Hogwarts, but that is a decision he has plenty of time to make. v: or yet in wise old Ravenclaw

Witch: Wei Ying’s family is known for witchcraft as his abilities are hereditary because many of his relatives were also witches, each unique in their own way. He is empathic and considered a necromancer being well known for his work with the dead which has caused a lot of mixed feelings from others. They tend to fear him while he does his best to use his magic to help people instead of causing harm. v: normal is an illusion

College: With his interests in art, Wei Ying is majoring in graphic design and painting while he has proven that he is an excellent artist with many interests. Graphic design is his favorite though. He hopes that he will be able to make a name for himself eventually knowing that it will be difficult to become the type of artist he wants to become. v: of paint and pencils

Law Enforcement: Wei Ying is a detective working underneath Captain Nie Mingjue helping enforce the law to keep the people safe and deal with any cases that appear across his desk. He is one of the smartest detectives that does look for his station despite his mischievous nature that does have a habit of getting him into trouble. v: to the greatest mind, nothing is little

Youtuber: Known as the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Ying’s channel covers over multiple things from video games to artwork and more. He’s become pretty popular with the ones who enjoy his channel with the content that he brings to his viewers. Content that he hopes will bring joy to his viewers as this was first just a hobby for him. v: hello, this is the yiling patriarch

Royal: Wei Ying was raised by his grandmother and uncles after the passing of his parents being the only heir of the family. His childhood was a bit lonely being kept safe inside of the home of his relatives because of the threat that might come after him. All he can do was wait for that chance to get some sort of freedom instead of being stuck inside of his home. v: the lonely prince

Kitsune: Born as a Kitsune of Void, Wei Ying lived by himself since he was avoided because of his type being seen as a bad omen. He has tried to prove himself by giving warnings when danger is coming, but those warnings have gone ignored most of the time. He just wants to help, but it had be hard being a dark Kitsune because of the rumors and stories that float around his kind. v: beware the kitsune

Celebrity: Wei Wuxian got into acting at a young age with modeling on the side, he became well-known fairly quickly in acting and modeling because of his talent. He made a name for himself from that talent while he was happy with everything he had done so far despite the mixed feelings that came from his adoptive parents. That didn’t stop him from aiming for the career that he wanted even though there were a few struggles that appeared along the way. v: success is born of struggles

Until Dawn: Wei Ying’s adoptive family owns an estate on Blackwood Mountain while it was unknown about the secrets that were held there in the abandoned buildings. Buildings located deep inside the mountain. Wei Ying’s family and friends decided to visit the estate for a fun getaway unaware of the horrors that they were going to soon face. v: here in the forest

Mafia: Wei Wuxian was adopted into the Jiang family after the passing of his parents, the families were allies which was why he was taken in by Jiang Fengmian. He was raised along with his siblings on how to defend himself and everything for the sake of his survival. He soon gained the nickname, the Yiling Patriarch becoming well-known in the world that he was raised in. v: I’ve got blood on my hands

Zombie Apocalypse: The outbreak started by people getting sick before the dead started to come back to life wandering through the streets. This was the start of the apocalypse and a fight for survival. Wei Ying was one of those who was fighting for survival and keeping the people important to him safe, that was until he was bitten. A week later, fighting a fever, nothing happened. No change or anything, the wound started to heal showing that he was immune to the virus that had appeared leaving a permanent scar behind. v: a scar means I survived

Coffee Shop: Along with his siblings, Wei Ying works at the Yunmeng Cafe that is owned by his stepparents which is very popular because of the customers that continue to come. A cafe that has been around since he was young filled with plenty of memories dealing with the family that adopted him after the passing of his parents. v: the daily grind

Florist: The Lotus Pier is a flower shop owned by his stepparents where he works alongside with his siblings, specifically his sister. It tends to get quite busy throughout the year while Wei Ying does live in the upstairs apartment above the shop. v: oh snapdragon!

#the demonic cultivator #m: wei wuxian #my verses

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mariellawinters · 6 years

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HOLA ! i’m frankie , 22 years old , residing in the central time zone , and go by the female pronouns . i’m SO thrilled to be a part of this group ! i don’t know what else to say except for the fact that i haven’t roleplayed in about 4 months , so i apologize in advance for being rather slow in the process . however , i’ll try my very best to share as many details with you about my girl , MARIËLLA , as possible . ( i would’ve had a statistics page ready but didn’t expect the rp to open suddenly , so i tried my best to give as much info & perhaps a bit too much lol but please plot with me/mariëlla ; also , thanks for reading ! ) . ♡

･:*:･ﾟ☆ ( jessica chastain. forty two. cisfemale. she/her. ) ↷ ( mariëlla t. winters ) has been spotted by the paparazzi in los angeles. they are an ( a ) list celebrity known for their career as an ( actress ). they’re known by their fans to be ( easygoing, meticulous & zealous ) but the tabloids frequently portray them to be ( anxious, enigmatic, & introverted ). i wish them every success in the entertainment industry. ･:*:･ﾟ☆

full name: mariëlla tatiana winters

nickname(s): mari, maya, ella

age: forty-two ( 42 ) .

birthdate: november 25th, 1975 .

sexual orientation: bisexual .

occupation: actress / film producer / writer .

mariëlla was born to dutch-american parents, and raised, in washington, d.c. winters didn’t come from a privileged, wealthy family. her parents, constantin & thea, traveled and practically chose to live their new life in america and to start a family. in the years to come, her older brother, mariëlla, and their younger sister/daughter were born and they couldn't have been more delighted with their family of five.

she grew to have become very family-oriented because of her family, and extended family in the netherlands / holland. which included traveling to visit them during the holidays, or every chance they could possibly get to do so if and whenever they had the money. her parents were hard-working, hence rarely having the chance to travel to europe and could only send 1, or two, of their children to stay with their relatives. but they wouldn't have changed it for anything else as long as they knew their dutch heritage, and they worked hard for almost just that.

although having hard-working parents, they both dedicated one hundred % of their time for family whenever they weren’t working. they raised / taught their children by acknowledging humility, recognizing their own weaknesses, & that it was okay to be the best that they can be — as well as having the FREEDOM of deciding who they wanted to be, the path they wanted to take; old enough to make their own decisions as a legal adult, basically. * which is how mariëlla chose to raise her kids and thanks her parents for setting an example when she was growing up; passing it on as a mom herself, hoping that it works out smoothly and parenting as best she can.

when she was in middle & high school, she gained a keen interest in acting because of the plays, musicals, and whatnot. the more she got herself involved in them and at a local theater, the reason she instantly made her decision of becoming an ACTRESS became clearer. she set her mind to it, looking forward to the day she’d graduate and study film & drama at the univeristy of south california in los angeles. if anyone asked personally, it was the best decision she ever made; she would completely agree and tell you herself with pride and joy.

she always tried her best, and somehow, did explicitly well in school because she forced herself. even if she wasn’t too bad of a student, mariëlla struggled/stressed out easily, as she tends to be somewhat of a perfectionist still & almost everything had to be organized and in order. fast forward to 4 years later & as a ucla graduate; ëlla has graduated as a student that was given opportunities to act onscreen when she was in school studying. as weirdly as it might sound, taking into consideration mariëlla’s chosen profession, is incredibly meticulous when it comes to auditioning for a role and be given the job for said character.

she spends a lot of her time and energy by supporting a lot of what she believes in and whatnot. she is quite often a zealous worker for charity and brings attention to causes, et cetera. i find it better to describe as a passionate artist/actress but most importantly: a human being with a lot of compassion towards the less fortunate and will likely pay for something rather expensive— i.e. an engagement ring for a couple, anonymously ( what paul w*lker did for a couple without revealing his identity; true story ) . mariëlla does show a very unselfish concern for the well-being of others & it’s obvious; altruistic; even if people don’t like it or might think it’s invasive. that is never her intention; will know when to back off though. but does genuinely care a lot about others; is someone that puts the needs of another person before her own without questioning it. all in all, an easygoing humanitarian and philanthropist.

people might think it’s a bit concerning, but she can be quite stubborn as well when it comes to certain things. she means well though. don’t mind her sometimes. unless it’s for her own good or regarding anything job-wise. over the years, she has become very anxious. she believes it’s because of all the stress and the overwhelming, hectic schedule of tour promotions and whatnot. she’s committed to them but by popping a little pill called xanax. she can control her anxiety but there are days when she cannot and it’s not pretty. hence why she is her - introverted - self at times, but in the public eye is seen as an enigmatic soul. she has her reasons.

the only reason why she is hard to interpret in the public eye, especially the media, is because she only wants her close family and friends to know who she truly is behind closed doors. she could care less about the rumors that are being said about her, but it won’t mean that her anxiety won’t get to the best of her. it’ll eat ëlla up alive but will not make that obvious, of course, as she perseveres through her struggle with anxiety. it’s a bitch.

genuinely believes in “money doesn’t buy happiness.” as an a-list celebrity, she has a difficult time understanding it and ends up contemplating if it’s all really worth it ..... if she deserves the success she’s had throughout her career ? don’t get mariëlla wrong but is sometimes self-critical of herself and will not allow any special treatment. she’s an odd one but grateful at the same time. this messy business can be quite fickle and doesn’t want to disappoint anyone with her performances.

ever since she became a mom, mari grew to being quite nurturing. growing up she’d be the type of person to lean away when being hugged and avoid friendly kisses but as time passed on, she grew out of that. the love she has for her kids, she has a big heart and loves the heck out of anybody that would show her any affection, because she will definitely give it in return to anyone that needs it.

she won’t consider taking anyone’s “ side ” whenever it gets to that chance/point in time— neutral— like, she is on the fence about/doesn’t know a lot about politics and religion. she will sometimes avoid conversing of such but is open to talking. she is not that close-minded and hopes to not seem that way. either way, she isn’t very judgy and will only give out advice; straightforward and honest opinions if asked.

prefers to give rather than receive, although she’s grateful for such intentions and will gladly keep whatever present is given. she is NOT materialistic but loves doing some shopping often; controls herself by setting a budget on how much she could possibly spend and save. yes, that’s how organized she is. her inner monica geller but not to the extent, of course. she thinks she gives the best whatever gift she finds and won’t brag about having the money either. enjoys the holidays ….. — - this was supposed be an attempt at writing a couple of headcanons, but i’ve obviously failed ? yikes ! i’m just babbling at this point because i wanna get this posted. and it’s posted now.

this turned out to be a HUGE mess but i hope this introduction helps to plot. please like this post, or hmu if you’d be interested in plotting something out or anything. again, thanks for reading ! i know it’s a bit rambly but i’ve tried. i do have a lot of muse, don’t get me wrong. its been too long, honestly. i’ll message and read all of your intros. pretty much catch up with the ones that have been posted since i’ve been gone.

#fames.intro #𝙃𝙀𝙇𝙇𝙊 !!!#—— ; why tf did this take me SO LONG though ?!#*𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌* 𝗂 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇'𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗎𝗋𝗅 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 #anxiety tw #I DID IT !! i did the thing in time !!#phew !!#and it turned out long ....

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lostinreality014 · 6 years

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Author’s Notes: In my mind, this piece is a chapter to story that I may not ever write. While this piece is purely fan fiction, it is quite personal and very close to my heart. There are aspects of this piece that I have experienced in my own life which, in some ways made it very easy for me to write. But it was also terrifying to write because of the anxiety I feel putting a fairly big piece of myself out there. I truly and honestly don’t know if I’ll ever develop a full story for this. I have lots of ideas, but they’re not ideas that can be formulated into a story at the moment. Hopefully one day I will write it. But until then... I wanted share this part of it with you.

Also note: This piece is also posted on my WATTPAD account

I have to say a massive, massive thank you to @wdmsusie for being my beta to this piece, for all of her invaluable input, and for assuring me my writing doesn’t completely suck.

Emerson was sitting on the sofa with the TV tuned in to reruns of Will and Grace to keep her company until Niall returned home. She had left his single release party around 10, and to say she was not in a good mood would be an understatement. Since her knee injury a few weeks ago, it had been a struggle both mentally and physically on a daily basis. Even though she was thrilled for Niall and so proud of him for everything he was accomplishing so far as a solo artist, she found it incredibly hard to not be in a constant state of jealousy. And while things had been rough between them the last two or three months, and especially since her surgery, she had been determined to put their issues and her own struggles aside so as not to take away from his special day.

The reruns of her favorite show, also turned on as a means of distraction, were doing a poor job of keeping the memories from the day she learned her career was over from playing on a loop in her head. She supposed that's what she got for knowing the episodes so well. Initially the doctors had thought her injury wasn't as serious as it was. Her MRI results showed otherwise. They showed a complete tear of her ACL rather than a minor tear as was originally thought. The moment the doctors explained the full extent of her injury and the surgery she would need, she knew her dance career was over. Thankfully, Niall had been able to reschedule the couple of meetings he'd had the day she got the news of her MRI results so he could be there with her. While she didn't handle the news well at all, she knew she wouldn't have handled it as well as she did if Niall hadn't been there with her.

Dance was who Emerson was. Her dad had enrolled her in ballet lessons for her fifth birthday and she'd fallen in love immediately. And one of the things she had struggled with the most since her surgery was knowing the one thing that made her feel like she had a purpose in the world and made her feel like she belonged somewhere, she no longer had. Dance had been her outlet; her way of conveying her thoughts and feelings. When words failed her, dance was there. Being a professional ballet dancer didn't pay as well as other jobs would have, and it certainly didn't pay anywhere near the kind of money Niall brought in with his career, but she'd been happy. And she'd been able to support herself and also send some extra money back to her dad in Toronto long before her and Niall had started dating and he'd asked her to move in with him.

What hurt as much as losing her career was knowing her dad had lost just as much. He was her biggest fan and supporter. And even though he hadn't been able to fly to London to visit her very often, anytime she called to tell him she'd been cast in a lead role, or a role that meant a lot to her, he found a way be in the audience on her opening night. He'd sacrificed so much for her, so much more than any single parent should have had to. There had been many times when they didn't have enough money to pay the bills and the only thing they had to eat was cereal and peanut butter sandwiches. But his little girl was his world, and his only concern was that she was happy.

Emerson's dad had done everything he could to make sure she got the training and education she needed to make her dream of becoming a professional ballet dancer a reality. And when she nearly turned down the offer to study at the Royal Ballet School in London on full scholarship following her performance at the Youth America Grand Prix competition, her dad refused to let her. Aside from losing his wife and mother of his only child, leaving Emerson in London after she was settled in was the hardest thing he'd ever done. But he wasn't going to let her pass up the opportunity of a lifetime. When Emerson saw the tears of pure joy on her dad's face the day she graduated from Royal Ballet School and was offered a place in The Royal Ballet as a Soloist, she knew all the time spent apart and all the sacrifices he'd made had been worth it. And her dad had felt the exact same.

The commotion going on in the current episode snapped Emerson out of the place she'd gone to in her head. And when she got her bearings back and realized she was at home instead of Niall's release party, all of the frustration she'd felt earlier came flooding back because things had gone smoothly for the most part all day... until they weren't once at the party. There'd been plenty to do before having to get ready and then head to the venue so it'd been easy to keep herself distracted. But after being left alone for nearly an hour while Niall schmoozed it up with his friends and various industry people, she'd decided it was time to head home. She'd been to plenty of these events for the Royal Ballet before her injury, so she was well aware that people would be after Niall's attention all night. But she had hoped Niall would at least be nearby and include her in the conversations and celebration of his second single release as a solo artist.

The cab ride back home was spent dealing with the war going on inside of her head. She'd called Sadie and by the time the cab pulled into the drive, coming to a stop at the gate, Emerson had a plan. She was going to pack as much as she could in her two travel cases and wait for Niall to return home. Her mind was seventy-five percent made up about going back to Toronto to be with her dad for a few weeks while she started her knee rehabilitation, figuring out how to start over, and what she would do next. That other twenty-five percent wanted to stay in London. She knew her decision to stay or go to Toronto would largely depend on how the impending conversation with Niall went.

It was nearly midnight before she heard the front door open and close, signaling Niall was finally home. Emerson didn't bother getting up to greet him (not that she could have done that easily with her knee at the moment), nor did she acknowledge he was home until he had spoken to her first.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Niall asked, his tone tense and annoyed. Emerson held her gaze on the TV for a few seconds more before finally acknowledging him, sending visual daggers in his direction.

"Took you this long to notice I'd left?" she asked coldly.

"Noticed it when I came back with our drinks. Spent the last two hours tryin to find ya instead of enjoyin the evenin with ya."

"Enjoying it with me?" She laughed sarcastically. "You deserted me when you went to get our drinks."

"I wasn't gone that long," he huffed. Emerson raised an eyebrow at him.

"I was alone for nearly an hour before I decided to leave. I know we have no intention of making our relationship public knowledge to the whole world anytime soon, but enough people within your circle know we're together. And it's beyond humiliating to be at a table by myself with everyone throwing sideways glances at me and having to cover for you and say that you just stepped away to get us drinks when that wasn't the reality of the situation."

"I tried to get back to ya. I kept getting stopped every time I turned around because someone wanted to say hello or introduce me to someone."

"Yeah... I know how these parties work. I've been to a few of them myself. You are allowed to tell people that you'd be happy to meet someone or say hello, but you just need to step out for a moment and you'll be right back."

"Cause that's not rude when someone wants to introduce you to one of the top executives in the industry."

"But it's not rude to leave your girlfriend alone for nearly an hour?" she asked, her voice slightly higher than normal. "I'm sure whoever wanted to meet you would have understood. Record execs attend these parties all the time so I don't think they would have been offended that you needed to step out for a moment. And I don't think they would have been upset either if it took you a few minutes to get to them because other people want your attention." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Clearly it didn't occur to you to ask them, or others, to meet you at the table where you left me so I could have been included in some part of your evening."

"Not like you would have been there when I got back since you up and left and didn't even bother to tell me you were leaving." He snapped, his eyes flashing angrily at her.

Emerson watched him close his eyes as he made himself take a deep breath to keep his emotions in check. Arguing was something that Niall and Emerson didn't do very often. In fact, the number blow out arguments they'd had in the time that they'd known each other could be counted on one hand. Every time they had one of those arguments, they made it a point to remind themselves of their promise to communicate and be open with each other so they could hopefully avoid anything more than a heated conversation. And as much as they didn't want to get into another full blown argument tonight, they were both finding it increasingly difficult to keep their cool.

"I tried to tell you I was leaving. I called you and texted you. Multiple times. I never got a response."

"I left me phone in the car and didn't realize it. You could have tried to find me."

"You're really suggesting that to me right now? Especially when you know I haven't been cleared to put weight on my leg for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time? Hell I have a hard time getting around on these crutches as it is. And this damn contraption on my knee doesn't make it any easier."

"What the hell is with you lately?"

"What's with me?" Emerson laughed humorlessly. "Of course you haven't noticed. You've been too wrapped up in your own little world to notice or care for that matter."

"Notice what? That you've been clingy and needy as hell? And too busy acting like a jealous brat?" The moment he said it, he wanted to take it all back. He hadn't meant to lash out at her like that and he certainly hadn't meant to say those things. But this was a rare moment when his filter failed him and his temper got the better of him.

"That's low. Even for you," Emerson said softly, her voice trembling now. She'd done well with keeping the tears at bay, but that stung. A lot. His words had hit her with as much force as if she'd been physically punched in the stomach.

"Emmy..."

"Don't." she snapped. "Don't try to take it back. Clearly you meant it." She sniffled as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"No, I didn't." he said adamantly. "I didn't mean it."

"If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have been thinking it in the first place. And for you to say it so easily, it's clear that you have been thinking it for a while." He opened his mouth to respond, but he had nothing. He had nothing because she was right. He hated that she was. Well she was right that the thought had been running through his mind lately. But he truly hadn't meant it. And knowing Emerson as well as he did, he knew trying to defend himself or apologize in this moment wouldn't help matters. It would just dig him in deeper.

"Since it seems you've forgot again," Emerson sneered, "I'm not physically capable of doing some things I normally can do on my own at the moment. I didn't realize asking for help or needing help doing some things made me clingy. I'm so sorry I'm such an inconvenience to you."

"You're not an inconvenience!" Niall exclaimed in exasperation.

"You sure have an odd way of showing it." She seethed. "I would have thought you'd be more understanding and sympathetic since you were in my position a few years ago." Emerson paused for a moment to take a breath. "I get how frustrating it is to be interrupted, especially when you're on a roll. But I've tried really hard to be considerate of you and the work you've been trying to get done. When you're home, I only ask you for help when I think you've reached a stopping point, or when you're not in the middle of keeping up with some golf tournament. Every time you complain when I ask for help, it makes me feel like I'm a burden to you."

"You're not a burden, Emmy! You're still recovering from major surgery. Of course you're going to need some help until you heal."

"Then don't act like it's the end of the fucking world when I ask for help. Surely you haven't forgot what it was like in the weeks after your knee surgery. If I'm not a burden or an inconvenience, the least you could do is help me out without all the moaning and groaning. I already feel guilty enough that I have to rely on you more than normal when you're busy working." Niall started to say something, but promptly shut his mouth. Again, Emerson had a point. And since he'd already shoved his foot in his mouth with his earlier comments about her being clingy and jealous, he knew it best to not say anything else for the moment.

"And that whole jealousy thing," Emerson said, her voice bitter. "You're right. I am jealous. But not for the reasons you think I am."

"I'm not following."

"Your knee surgery didn't end your career. Mine did. Do the math."

"Now who's acting like the world ended."

"Fuck you!" Emerson spat. "I can't believe you have the audacity to say that to me."

"There is more than one career out there. You can have any career you want."

"Are you serious right now?" she exclaimed. "I cannot believe those words just came out of your mouth. Of course there is more than one career out there. And maybe I could have any one of them. But they're not the careers I want, Niall. They're not the careers I poured my heart and soul into for years and spent hours training and practicing for. Do you really think that little of my career and my dreams?"

"Of course not!" He exclaimed. "Anyone who watched ya on stage or listened to ya talk about dancing could see how much ya love it. Anyone could see that's what ya were meant to do. Meself included."

"Really?! Because if you believe that, if you really knew how much I loved ballet like you claim you do, you wouldn't be brushing any of what I'm going through off as me overreacting and being jealous. If you really believe that I was meant to be a ballet dancer, you wouldn't be saying the shit you just did, and you would have noticed how much I'm struggling to cope with having my career taken away from me on top of trying to recover from my surgery."

"How would I know when you never talk to me anymore?!" He cried. Emerson laughed in disbelief.

"Don't you dare," her voice was so low is sounded like a growl, "Don't you dare pin this on me. Especially when you were calling me clingy not even two minutes ago. You sat on this couch with me and held me while I cried the day I was told my career was over and promised me that you'd be here for me. You promised me that you'd help me get through this and help me figure out how to start over. You have yet to follow through on either of those promises. And every time I try to talk to you when it seems like you show the slightest bit of interest in how I'm doing, or when I'm really struggling to cope with everything, I get interrupted by someone who needs you to be somewhere two days ago. And then I'm left in the dust wondering when I stopped being a priority in your life. When we stopped being a priority."

"How can you say that? You know you're a top priority to me." Emerson laughed again, but it was empty and hollow sounding.

"Do I know that? Because you haven't given me any reason in the last several weeks to believe I am. Or that we are."

"This is me life, Emmy. This is me job. I thought you knew what you were signing up for when we decided being friends wasn't enough for either of us."

"I'm well aware of what I signed up for." she snapped. "God you really can be an ass when you want to be. No..." she said firmly when he went to say something. "No. You've wanted me to talk to you, so I'm going to. And you're going to listen." He snapped his mouth shut.

"While my job may not have been as demanding as yours in some ways, I get that there are times when you have to drop everything on a moment's notice to take care of something. But for the most part, your career won't stop or end because you don't take care of something right this second. If I really am a priority in your life, you wouldn't put your work before your girlfriend every fucking time the phone rings. You would make it a point to tell whoever calls that unless it's an absolute emergency, you have something else that needs your attention at the moment and you'll be there as soon as you can. There'd be a balance between work and personal life, which we were doing pretty good at until I got injured. If I am a priority, you would have noticed how much I've been struggling since my surgery. And not just physically." Emerson carefully stood up and steadied herself, wincing slightly at the sharp pain that shot through her knee, before looking back up at him and carefully side stepping her way around the coffee table.

"But I see now that asking for help and asking to be a priority in your life that's at the very minimum, an equal priority to your job is asking too much of you."

"Where ya goin?" she could hear the confusion mixed with panic in his voice as she made her way toward the stairs and she hated that she was about to walk out on him. Whether that was for good or temporary, she didn't know yet.

"Back to Toronto to spend time with my dad for a while. I need to figure things out. And at least he'll be there to help me through all this since you're too busy being the mega pop star that you are." She knew that was a low blow coming from her, but she'd never held his career or music against him for the long stretches of time they spent apart from each other until this moment. And as selfish as it was, she didn't want her or their relationship to be low on the priority list anymore.

"That's not fair."

"And the way you treated me tonight is?! Or the way you've been treating me for the last few weeks since I've been cleared to do more than move from our bed to our couch and back again?" Emerson nearly yelled as she reached the top of the stairs.

"So you're just gonna leave?" He asked angrily, his voice slightly higher than usual.

"What reason do I have to stay?" she bit back, wishing she could storm down the hall like she wanted to.

"What reason?" Niall spluttered. "What about me? What about us?!" he exclaimed, the panic in his voice was evident.

Emerson was well aware of his fear of being without her. She was just as scared of being without him as well. They weren't dependent on each other to the point where they couldn't function on their own without the other being near, but they depended on each other a lot because their careers were similar in many ways. They were both the constant in each other's lives. The constant that kept them grounded when things started to get too overwhelming. But it was clear to her now that she couldn't stay. Not when the one person she really needed to help her navigate through the rough waters she's facing couldn't be bothered to be there for her. She knew deep in her heart that she needed to get away and clear her head for a little bit so she could figure out what she wanted to do next.

"It doesn't feel like there's much of an us anymore." she said as she hobbled into their bedroom.

Emerson's voice breaking and seeing her suitcases on their bed caused Niall to stop dead in the doorway of their bedroom. He'd honestly thought Emerson saying she was going back to Toronto was being said out of frustration and anger, which she had every right to be when he thought about it. He didn't think she'd actually leave and back down from the challenge of figuring out what to do next. It wasn't something Emerson did. If someone told her she couldn't do something, she'd find all the ways she could to prove them wrong. As he watched her slowly make her way across the room, he realized she was right that he hadn't given her any reason to stay. He hadn't followed through on his promises to her to be there for her and help her through this transition in her life.

"I love you, Niall. I truly am happy that things are going so well for you, and I'm so proud of you even if doesn't seem like I am. But it hurts to see you spend every day doing something you love and seeing your career as a solo artist take off. Part of your life was my life a few shorts weeks ago. And I don't want to look at you and feel that way because you deserve every good thing that is about to come your way. You worked so hard as part of the group, and you're working hard now to prove that you can be just as successful on your own. This knee injury and not being able to live out my dream anymore is unfortunate and something neither of us could control. If I stay, I'll end up resenting you more than I already do. And I don't want to resent you for living out your dreams and doing something you love. That's not fair to you." She paused and turned to take her suitcases off the bed and set them on the floor.

Niall debated whether or not to go over and help, not that he wanted to because he didn't want to her to leave but he also didn't want her to risk hurting her knee. But that nagging feeling in his stomach told him to stay put.

"You've watched what losing my career as done to me over the last few weeks. But you still don't see how much its affected me. And I'm starting to wonder if you ever will."

When she looked up and her eyes met his, Niall felt his heart flutter in his chest, and not in a good way. The pain in her eyes was like a flashing neon sign. In that moment, Niall was forced to admit to himself that he had no idea what Emerson was going through. He had no idea what it was like to have a career you loved suddenly taken away from you without any say in it. All those moments when someone called him and said they needed him to be somewhere for something and he went instead of staying with Emerson were now flashing through his mind at a rapid pace. He felt like a complete ass for putting his music first when he should have been putting her first. And he felt even worse for accusing her of being clingy when she was very clearly asking for his help.

"It would be so much easier to stay and figure out what's next if I had decided it was time to move on to the next chapter of my life. But it wasn't my decision. I was forced to retire because of this injury."

"I don't want you to leave." he said softly, debating whether or not it was safe to approach her. "You've never backed down from any challenge, no matter how tough it is. Anytime someone said you couldn't do something, you always proved them wrong. You going back to Toronto feels like you're running away."

"So I'm supposed to stay and try and figure out how to start my life over when being here is a constant reminder of everything that I had? I'm supposed to stay and figure out how to start over while watching you perform every night wishing it was me on stage? How is that fair to me? How is that going to help me move on?" He shrugged because he didn't know what to say, much less have an answer. And because the thought of her leaving in any capacity terrified him.

"If I asked you to stay and at least give it a try, would you?" his voice was so soft, but the fear in his tone was crystal clear.

"No," Emerson's voice was gentle, but sad. "Everything that's happened over the last couple of months, what's happened tonight, and since you got home especially, has shown me what I've been avoiding for a while now. I need to go back and be with my dad for a bit. I need to figure out how to start over and I can't do that in the city that held and still holds all my dreams. And I really need someone that can be my support system and be there for every step of my recovery and starting over."

"I know I've done a shit job of it lately. And you're right that I haven't given you much of a reason to stay. But I can be that person, Em. I can. Let me prove it."

"I know you can because you have been before. But I don't think you can this time. I have to accept that and so do you."

"No. We don't have to accept that."

"Yes. We do." Her voice was still gentle, but it was firm. "Be honest with yourself. Do you really think you'll be able to be there for me the way I'll need you to be, when you're about to go off on a massive promo tour for your new single?" His shoulders slumped in defeat. He knew she was right.

Niall knew in the pit of his stomach he wouldn't be able to be the support system she needed when he was in a different city every two days with all of his focus on promoting the new single. And for a split second, even though he knew it was completely unrealistic and would be nearly impossible for her as far as her rehab would go, he considered asking her to come with him on his promo tour.

"So where does that leave us?" he asked, slowly making his way toward her. "Does this mean we're over? Because I don't want us to be over." Emerson shrugged and tried to bite back the sob that was bubbling up in her throat when he took her hands and rubbed gentle circles to the backs of them with his thumbs.

"I don't want us to be over either," she hiccuped. She truly didn't want that. But she knew if they wanted their relationship to last, they couldn't keep going on like this. "But my head is all over the place and I can't think clearly. I just know that I need to get out of London for a while. And I think we could use some space ourselves. You just dropped another single, and you need to focus on that and whatever it is you need to do to finish the album so it can be released when you want it to be. I need to focus on the next phase of my rehab and taking care of me, both physically and mentally. Me staying isn't going to do either of us any good. Me staying will hold you back."

"You won't hold me back." He argued.

"I already am. We're both holding each other back as it is. This constant bickering that we've been doing, and taking out our frustrations on each other, it's not good for either of us. This isn't healthy. Maybe if we'd both paid a little bit more attention and communicated better like we promised ourselves after our last blow out argument, we could have avoided this whole situation." Emerson could see the wheels turning in his head and kept quiet, giving him the time to process his thoughts.

"I know it's too late for me to realize how much I've fucked up." Niall spoke softly after a minute or two. "And I'll do whatever it is I have to, to make it up to ya. I really don't want us to be over." The tears Emerson had been holding back spilled down her cheeks when his voice broke.

"I don't know if we need space or if we need to close ourselves off from everything and everyone for a couple of days and just talk and focus on us. But it seems like your mind is already made up. And if ya want to go back to be with your dad for a bit, if that's what ya think ya need, I won't stop ya." Emerson bit her lip when he gave her hands a gentle squeeze. She could see that as painful as it would be to let her go for a bit, he didn't want to force her into anything she didn't want to do.

"And you're right. I haven't been treatin ya the way you should be and deserve to be. I'm gonna kick meself in the ass for a long time about it. But I wanna to do whatever I can to help you because I love you and because you're the most important person in me life."

The small sob Emerson had held back a few minutes ago forced its way out of her throat against her will. And whether she wanted it or not, Niall wrapped her up in his arms and held her tightly, knowing this was going to be the last time for a while that he'd get to hold her and comfort her. He almost let out a sigh of relief when he felt her arms wrap around his waist, her hands fisting his shirt tightly. To him that was a positive sign. It was a sign that she still wanted him to be the person she turned to when things got tough. But it also made his heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest because he could feel how much she'd missed being able to turn to him for comfort and reassurance when she'd needed it, and him, the most.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for ya like I promised I would be. I'm sorry I failed ya." he whispered against her ear, tears burning at the backs of his eyes as he loosened his hold and took a small step back from her, keeping his arms around her waist. He wasn't going to let go until she made that move. When Emerson finally looked up at him, he could have sworn he felt his heart crack inside his chest. And he hated himself even more for being a reason for the pain she was feeling.

"I'm sorry too." she whispered, hiccuping softly.

"I know I don't have the right to ask, but please don't leave. Let me hold you tonight and be there for ya like I should have been. Ya can talk to me if ya want, or not. Just give me one more night." he pleaded softly.

"You won't try to convince me to stay?" Niall took a shuddering breath, a tear rolling down his cheek much to his dismay. He hated himself for giving her any reason to think that he would try to change her mind when it was already made up.

"No. If ya still want to go back to Toronto in the morning, I won't stop ya. I'll drive ya to the airport meself."

Emerson didn't say anything, just contemplated his request for a few moments. She wasn't sure it was a good idea to stay, but the pain and guilt etched in his eyes was enough to make her cave. Not only did she selfishly want to spend a few hours wrapped up in his arms again, the nagging feeling in her chest felt like a sign that staying one more night would give them the chance to work things out somewhere down the line. And she really wanted them to have that chance once she'd got her feet back underneath her because she couldn't picture her life without Niall in it.

"Okay. I'll stay."

When Niall woke the next morning, rain was pelting against the windows (fitting for the mood), one half of the bed was empty, and there was a hole in his chest where he was pretty sure his heart was meant to be. He stared at the empty spot next to him, mentally kicking himself in the ass for fucking up so badly, and hoping like hell he could fix it and have a second chance at a future with the girl he knew he was meant to marry.

#Niall Horan Blurb #Niall Horan Angst #Niall Horan Fan Fic #Niall Horan Writing #Niall blurbs #Niall Angst #niall fan fic #fan fic #1d #Niall Horan #Niall #my writing #my blurbs #LostInReality Writing #Crossfade #Niall and Emerson

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wineanddinosaur · 3 years

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Jason Aldean Is Bringing Country Music Collaborations to the Booze World with Wolf Moon Bourbon

All September on VinePair, we’re turning our focus to America’s spirit: bourbon. For our third annual Bourbon Month, we’re exploring the industry legends and innovators, our favorite craft distilleries, new bottles we love, and more.

After three decades in music, Jason Aldean is no stranger to collaborations, photo shoots, and backstage shenanigans. But it’s partnering with country duo Florida Georgia Line for Wolf Moon Bourbon that Aldean says has fuelled a whole other level of joy around such times. Having previously toured, written, and performed together, the two acts joined forces to create the straight bourbon whiskey last year. Aldean says the fun they had along the way is a perfect reflection of what the brand represents.

“During the photo shoots, we were sitting there pretending we’re drinking it, then we actually were drinking it, so by the end, it’s like, ‘Man, this is the most fun I’ve ever had in a photo shoot!’” says Aldean, 44. “We were all laughing and having a good time.”

“And, backstage at awards shows we’ll bring some bottles and if our buddies are back there, we let them try it and have fun,” continues the father of four. “To us, that’s what it’s all about — hanging out with friends and enjoying it. That’s why I got involved.”

Florida Georgia Line’s Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley already had their peach pecan Old Camp Whiskey, but having made great memories over whiskey with Aldean over the years, the trio set out to create a special drink they could enjoy with their “pack” of pals (a wolf pack of sorts, which gets a nod in the brand’s name).

Distilled from Midwestern corn, rye, and barley, the 80-proof spirit gives off vanilla aromas and a fruity, caramel taste with a hint of American oak barrels the liquid aged in for four years. Launched in February 2020, it’s available nationwide, online at ReserveBar and at Aldean’s “Wolf Lodge” VIP Experience on tour.

Aldean took time away from the Alabama stop of his “Back in the Saddle Tour 2021” to talk to VinePair about collaborating with Florida Georgia Line, why whiskey is so tied into country music, and whether his drinking habits changed during the pandemic.

1. Do you remember your first time trying whiskey?

When I was younger, my dad probably had some and I probably tried to sneak a little bit while he wasn’t looking! I grew up in a family where on the weekends my dad always had people over and they would cook out, enjoy some drinks, have fun, and laugh. So, I always associated [whiskey] with people hanging out, having a good time, and laughing.

Then as I got older, I was able to share some of that with my dad. It was like father-son bonding. And, I started playing in bars when I was 14 years old, so by the time I was 21, I’d been around it a lot.

2. I imagine you were further exposed through being in the country music world. Why do you think whiskey is so tied into the country genre?

A lot of whiskey and bourbon is centralized here in Tennessee and Kentucky, not far from Nashville, the heart of the country music industry. I think country people work hard during the week, then cut loose on the weekends. When the whistle blows at 5 on Friday, they’re looking for a drink to start the weekend! It goes hand in hand with country music and the people that support us.

3. What were the challenges of turning something you love into a business?

I’ve never wanted to be involved in things I didn’t feel were a good representation of me and my brand, so when something like this comes along — when it’s something I feel passionate about — it’s an easy thing for me to work on and get excited about. The struggle is that there’s so many whiskeys and bourbons out there, and a lot of them have been around forever, so starting from the ground up with a new product is a process. You have to let people know it’s out there and that it’s good. Just getting them to try it for the first time has been the biggest hurdle.

We were supposed to [promote the brand] last year during my tour; then that got cancelled because of Covid, which threw a wrinkle into our plans. But we’re back up and running on the road now, picking up where we left off, so it’s been good.

4. There are so many celebrities putting out alcohol brands these days. Did you feel extra pressure to prove yourself in the whiskey industry, given your background in music?

Celebrities are always going to be out endorsing things, but for me, I wanted to make sure the product was good. I want to feel good knowing that if I send somebody to go buy it or send it to someone as a gift, that they’ll like it and I’m proud to have my name on it. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with what I do musically — it’s a side project that goes hand in hand with the music.

There’s a lot of acts who put their name on things because they get paid a lot of money, but sometimes the product’s not that great. So, I was in on the ground floor making sure we had the right mixture and that it was something I was really proud to put my name on. If I’m going to be involved, I want to be involved all the way, and the end result is a great product that people like.

5. How did the idea of collaborating with Florida Georgia Line on it come about?

FGL and I have been friends for a long time. We’ve toured together and they’ve written songs for me. They had their peach pecan whiskey and I was looking to do something more my style — more of a straight bourbon whiskey. So, it was easy to partner with them and have Wolf Moon become my staple, while the peach pecan is theirs.

We’ve been friends who sit around having a drink after the show’s done, but to have your own brand [to drink] is just cool. It’s not something a lot of people get to do and we want to grow it and see where it goes.

6. We’ve seen you collaborate musically many times, including with Florida Georgia Line, but what does a booze collaboration entail and how much input did you have?

There was already a batch [of whiskey that the Old Camp team] brought to the table, saying, “This is what we’ve been aging. How can we make it better?” That’s where we came in and started picking it apart to make the best version. It was already really good, but we wanted to put our stamp on it.

I’m a guy that likes to drink it on the rocks, so I wanted it to be smooth, and not be making faces as it goes down. So, it was really fine-tuning what was already there.

7. You launched as the pandemic hit, which wasn’t ideal, but on the plus side, a lot of people were drinking more while stuck at home. Did you and your wife, Brittany, experience that and was it cool to have your own brand to enjoy during those times?

Absolutely! We lived in Florida for about four months while that was going on and everything was closed. We would put the kids to bed, start binge-watching a show, and my wife and I would kick back and have a couple of drinks. It was great.

There was a liquor store close to my house and I kept asking if they carried [Wolf Moon] yet, so after a couple of weeks they had it fully stocked, which was cool. I could go in there and get it when I needed to.

8. You’re returning to Las Vegas for your “Jason Aldean: Back in the Saddle” shows at Park MGM’s Park Theater in December. What’s the most fun you’ve had in Las Vegas with whiskey?

Pretty much every time I go out there and gamble! Some of my artist friends are gamblers — Luke Bryan, Darius Rucker — and we like to all sit around after the show and gamble, have some drinks, laugh, and just enjoy it.

When you go out there for an awards show, there’s this buildup to this big show and everybody has to be spot on, but as soon as the show’s over, everybody gets to let their hair down, which is what we do. It’s a lot of fun!

The article Jason Aldean Is Bringing Country Music Collaborations to the Booze World with Wolf Moon Bourbon appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/jason-aldean-wolf-moon-bourbon/

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templeofgeek · 6 years

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What makes Gallifrey One so special? What makes it the hot ticket for Whovians and DWeeks? We are going to give you a general overview about what Gallifrey One is, what you can expect there and tips on how to get your hands on these hard to get tickets!

Gallifrey One is the world’s largest and longest-running annual Doctor Who fan convention. It is a fully non-profit event founded in 1989 by active fans in local Los Angeles science fiction fandom. Gallifrey One boasts some of the best Doctor Who celebrity guests while still maintaining its small con feel. This convention is completely fan run. It features one of kind panels, guest from all walks of science fiction and the non fiction science community, not just the Doctor Who universe. Taking place every February over Presidents’ Day Weekend at the Marriott Los Angeles Airport Hotel, this con is an experience not to be missed.

2018 Highlights:

Gally (as it is often called) is one of those cons that have a jammed packed schedule. Programming goes from 10:00 am until 10:00 pm. And even after there are after parties, screenings, dances, masquerades, karaoke events and so much more. There is probably way more that went on at the 2018 event than I could possibly list. I recommend checking out the 2018 Gallifrey One Wrap Up on the convention website. But for now, here are some attendee photos of some of the guest highlights from the con!

The Great Steven Moffat. Showrunner for #DoctorWho, #Sherlock and soon #Dracula. Still highly passionate about his work and at times combative. Struggling mightily against those who might accuse him of writing the same female characters over and over again and promoting a false image of sexism against the first Doctor. An extremely entertaining panel. #whovian #scifi #timelord #tardis #gallifreyone #thedoctor #gally1

A post shared by Ming (@franklin778) on Mar 21, 2018 at 3:27pm PDT

The beautiful #JemmaRedgrave #KateLethbridgeStewart enjoying herself at #Gallifreyone #DoctorWho #tardis #Timelord #whovian #brigadier #zygons #gally1

A post shared by Ming (@franklin778) on Mar 20, 2018 at 6:03pm PDT

#RachelTalalay speaking on #metoo #DoctorWho her work with #CW shows and her desire to helm a #Starwars film. Always generous and wonderful and such a pleasure to have at #Gallifreyone #gally1 #drwho #sherlock #supernaturaltv

A post shared by Ming (@franklin778) on Mar 17, 2018 at 1:41pm PDT

Beware when #DavidBradley shows up to your event especially if it’s a wedding. Here at #gallifreyone talking about his experience portraying the first #DoctorWho. No thoughts on #WalderFrey and #GameOfThrones. Spoke about his early days acting and meeting the family of #WillaimHartnell before he portrayed him. The great fun they had with the humorous cutting banter at the beginning of #TwiceUponATime #Tardis #gally1 #Timelord

A post shared by Ming (@franklin778) on Mar 18, 2018 at 3:48pm PDT

Sophie and Sylvester. ❤️❤️ • • • #doctorwho #gally1 #photography #portraitphotography #seventhdoctor #ace #sylvestermccoy #sophiealdred

A post shared by Katie Be (@katiebe_photography) on Mar 2, 2018 at 9:21am PST

Frazer Hines (Jamie McCrimmon) was impressed with my Cyberman. I think he’s seen one or two in his lifetime.

A post shared by Rick Callender (@rickamplified) on Mar 3, 2018 at 8:21pm PST

OMG, I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS!!! xD ———- Gallifrey One: Day 3 ———- #drwho #doctorwho #twelfthdoctor #12thdoctor #firstdoctormarkii #petercapaldi #claraoswald #jennacoleman #billpotts #pearlmackie #nardole #mattlucas #nardolecosplay #dwcosplay #doctorwhocosplay #cosplay #screenaccurate #replica #tardis #whovian #whovians #gally1 #gallifreyone #gallifreyone2018

A post shared by #DoctorWho – The Doctor (@doc_in_the_box) on Feb 18, 2018 at 3:26pm PST

I had the absolute pleasure to shoot with @BigFinishprod writers Matt Fitton and John Dorney while running around #GallifreyOne last weekend. Matt and John were the highlight on the panels they were featured and as you can see above, they brought their unique brand of mirth to these portraits! Be sure to check out their work by supporting #BigFinishProductions and a HUGE THANK YOU to both John and Matt for taking the time to work with me. • • • #mattfitton #johndorney #portraitphotographer #writersofinstagram #bigfinish #portraitphotographer #gally1 #doctorwho

A post shared by Katie Be (@katiebe_photography) on Feb 23, 2018 at 9:33am PST

Outside the Con:

The convention is held at the Marriott Los Angeles Airport Hotel. It is just steps from LAX international airport. There are plenty of hotels in the area, as well as a variety of places to eat within walking distance.

Child Friendly:

This is probably the most child friendly convention I have come across. There is a ton of children’s programming available as well as babysitting available. Children programming does fill up quickly, so I suggest keeping signing up as soon as the programming is announced. There is a courtyard just outside of the convention floor that gives children some room to run around and wind down a bit. There are plenty of food options available at the convention as well as in the nearby neighborhoods. I was able to find food options for even the pickiest of eaters.

Pros of this Con:

There is so much great programming that there really is something for everyone. There are guest from the audio series, from the comic book creators, there are even guests from other fandoms. If you are interested in cosplay, there are panels on cosplay as well. There are writing workshops, discussion groups, ribbon trading, meet ups of all types. There is a bar and lounge area on the main floor of the hotel that is lovingly referred to as “Lobby Con”. At this 2018 Convention Steven Moffat and Sylvester McCoy were both spotted in the lobby with fans, interacting and hanging out with fans. The con takes place in the same hotel that many of the guest stay in, so seeing the guest walk around is very common. They are not guarded by security like they are at larger conventions. This gives the convention a more intimate feeling and allows for experiences that would not normally happen at other conventions. One of the benefits of a convention that is specifically geared towards Doctor Who fans is that everyone at the convention is a Doctor Who fan. You are in a safe place to express your total love for Doctor Who. It creates a very welcoming and open environment. You are all there to celebrate the thing that you all have in common. The thing that you all love.

#Gally1 nights

A post shared by Monica Duarte (@thisdorkynerdgirl) on Feb 17, 2018 at 11:23pm PST

Cons of this Con:

The Vendor/Dealer’s room at Gallifrey One is pretty small compared to most Southern California conventions. It boast only a few rows of vendors. It seems fine for a convention that holds less than 4,000 attendees and despite being small you can still find some truly unique merchandise that you wont find anywhere else, but it would be nice to see an artist alley with a nice variety of Doctor Who art for sale. The con takes place during a holiday weekend and it takes place at the same time as a gaming con in a neighboring hotel. This can make it difficult and pricey to find both room accommodations and parking. If you plan to stay at the hotel from Thursday until Sunday night, be prepared to spend upwards of $800 for the 4 days, 3 night stay.

A fullsize volunteer owned TARDIS on display at the end of the Dealers Room.

Rubber Toe Replica Booth at Gallifrey One 2018

Cosplay:

The Cosplay is pretty top notch at Gallifrey One. The fun thing about cosplay at this convention as opposed to other pop culture conventions, is that because it all centers around one fandom, you find some of the most clever, creative and even obscure cosplays. At any given time you can fins cosplayers portraying characters from all walks of the Doctor Who universe. You can find cosplays from Torchwood, Sarah Jane Adventures, Class and even the Big Finish Audio Series (yes, they even cosplay from audio cover art).

Con Costs:

$110.00 Adult Full Weekend $50.00 Teen Full Weekend (Ages 12-16) $20.00 Child Full Weekend (Ages 3-11) Note that the above prices do not include a small EventBrite processing fee, which will be added to each order ($6.22 per adult ticket, less for the others).

Gallifrey One only sells weekend badges. Single day passes are no available.

Parking for locals:

Parking can be reserved in advance (AND YOU SHOULD). Parking ranges anywhere from $15 a day to $35 a day. General airport parking lots are available within walking distance of the convention. Arriving early is highly recommened.

Hotel Accommodations:

Hotel rooms at the Marriott are in high demand and are filled up almost immediately after reservations open. There are many hotels within walking distance near by. *See YouTube Video Below*

Pro-tip:

We recommend turning on post notifications for the Gallifrey One Twitter and Facebook accounts so that you stay up to date on hotel announcements, ticket sales, guest announcements and programming information. If you are trying to get tickets or hotel room accommodations on the day they go live, don’t give up on the first sold out screen. try again for the first 20 minutes. Many times the systems just need to refresh and catch up, and you may be able to score the tickets/room that you need.

Overall Impression: It can probably best be explained in this quote from veteran Con-goer and Temple of Geek photographer, Nathaniel Peinado, “Gally isn’t just a convention experience. It’s a family. A yearly reunion, if you will. A chance to see your closest friends that come from distant places, and an opportunity to make new ones. It’s a place where everyone and everything is celebrated and it doesn’t matter if you’re there in an old TARDIS t-shirt or a screen accurate costume. The amount of joy and love you receive from this convention will leave you wishing the next one wasn’t another year away. It’s definitely an experience that makes you believe things really are bigger on the inside.”

My babies ❤

A post shared by Monica Duarte (@thisdorkynerdgirl) on Feb 17, 2018 at 12:28pm PST

Gallifrey One RETURNS February 14, 2019 – February 17, 2019. Tickets go on sale April 14th, 12:00 PM PST!

How to get tickets?

Check out our pro-tips from our whovian friend, Lady Of Time Cosplay. She gives a really great and really informative review on how to get tickets to Gallifrey One. If you are a first timer to Gallifrey One and serious about getting tickets, the video is worth the 15 min watch.

https://twitter.com/gallifreyone/status/983380455838793728

https://www.facebook.com/events/169029780387728/

Unless otherwise stated, photos provided by Temple of Geek photographers Monica Duarte and Nathaniel “Doc In The Box” Peinado

Gallifrey One: The Ultimate Whovian Convention What makes Gallifrey One so special? What makes it the hot ticket for Whovians and DWeeks? We are going to give you a general overview about what Gallifrey One is, what you can expect there and tips on how to get your hands on these hard to get tickets!

#bill potts #Doctor Who #doctor who cosplay #gallifrey #gallifrey one #gally #gally1 #Jodie Whittaker #matt lucas #Matt Smith #Pearl Mackie #Peter Capaldi #Steven Moffat

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jeremystrele · 4 years

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Times Like These… With TDF Editor-In-Chief Lucy Feagins

Times Like These

by Sally Tabart

TDF founder and editor Lucy Feagins and her daughter Minnie at a TDF Collect opening in Collingwood. Photo – Amelia Stanwix.

The bright and beautiful TDF office. Photo – Amelia Stanwix.

A few snaps from Lucy’s personal instagram over the past few weeks!

Although it might not seem like things have changed much around here from a reader perspective (we hope!), it’s been a slightly tumultuous time over here in TDF-land for the last few months. Aside from the increasingly grim public health predictions, there were a few weeks over March and April where, along with almost every other small business in Australia, the economic fallout of the health crisis hit us, hard. We lost a fair bit of income almost overnight, and honestly… things were looking a little dicey for a while there.

In the three years I’ve been at The Design Files, I’ve never seen our editor-in-chief Lucy Feagins anxious or afraid – she’s pretty fearless when it comes to her business. But like any small business owner over the last couple of months, Luce has had to confront some pretty scary possibilities. Although it’s been a stressful experience at times, it’s also brought our team so much closer together, and given Lucy a new perspective on all the different elements of running a business. And without sounding too cheesy, I think we’ve emerged from this more resourceful, understanding and creative than ever.

In our final Times Like These interview, Lucy shares some of the ups and downs of the past few months here at TDF.

It’s been a weird few months Luce! How well do you think the team (and the business) has adapted to a new way of working?

It’s definitely been the weirdest time… but isn’t it strange how quickly we adapt? I think most of us went into a sort of shock when our freedoms were first ‘taken away’… but it’s pretty amazing how Australians really stepped up, made so many sacrifices and changed our behaviours so drastically for the greater good.

As far as The Design Files goes, I think this time has been a pretty amazing indicator of the strength of our little team. Everyone has been working from home for around eight weeks now, and we also had to cancel all photoshoots for eight weeks. So that has placed enormous pressure on the team to keep the quality content coming daily, whilst working within these new parameters. I’m so proud of how the team has adapted without really skipping a beat, and just really risen to the challenge. And, honestly, looking at the quality of our content and the readership numbers over the past two months, you wouldn’t even know we were in the middle of a crisis.

I also think this time has really reminded me how special our workplace culture is. I have always been pretty obsessed with workplace culture and just the general happiness of everyone on the team, but right now you really feel that magic in action. Working remotely does have its challenges, but I feel that our team culture is sort of the glue that has held everything together. It’s just so clear how tightly bonded our team are, and so whilst I personally believe our best work is done in a bustling, busy, chatty workplace where the whole team connects face to face every day… I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how we’ve managed to cope and thrive under current conditions.

What have you felt has been the biggest challenge for TDF as a business?

As a business owner, the first 2-3 weeks of lockdown were intense. At that early time we weren’t getting a whole lot of clear leadership from the government, and I was really worried about the financial implications for the business. A lot of The Design Files’ advertising revenue dried up in March, and a lot of client projects we had been working on pretty much just disappeared overnight. There was just so much uncertainty, and I was incredibly worried about loss of income, and the prospect of not being able to support our team of seven staff.

After the JobKeeper scheme was announced, things started to feel a whole lot better. Honestly, JobKeeper has been a lifeline for us. I’m feeling in control again – and one positive side effect of this incredibly stressful time is that I’m feeling more financially literate about my business than ever before. I’m watching our cash flow like a hawk! (Shout out to my amazing bookkeepers Counting Clouds – best in the biz!)

Was there ever a moment you were like… I don’t know if we’re going to make it through? And if so how did that feel?

Honestly… I don’t think I was really thought we ‘wouldn’t make it through’, but at the start of lockdown, I was pretty worried. I was hearing about quite a few really great local businesses that were struggling and laying people off. It was scary. It actually made me feel quite unsettled for about two weeks. But also, it made me determined.

When I get really anxious about something, I think my gut reaction is first a sort of emotional, fear response… and then that quickly turns to dogged determination. It’s almost like defiance, ‘I’ll show everyone!’. LOL!

So, I just got stuck into my spreadsheets, my cashflow, firming up our finances and figuring out what we needed to do to get through without losing anyone.

For me, the only thing that eases that sort of financial anxiety is to face it head-on. I don’t love numbers or accounting at the best of times, but I just know that if I get really clear on the details, then I feel empowered.

I imagine it must have been extremely stressful for you and Gordy [Lucy’s husband] given that you are both small business owners…what were the conversations like between you two at that time? And how did you support each other through it when you were both kind of going through a similar thing?

Gordy is a furniture designer / cabinet maker, and he also part-owns a bar in Brunswick. Day-to-day, he’s a one-man contractor so he’s pretty nimble, but his bar has suffered due to being closed for nearly two months, so he’s been concerned about his business liabilities, and paying rent etc whilst the business has been closed. There’s definitely been a bit of boring conversation about government grants and JobKeeper eligibility etc over the dinner table at our house!

Generally though, Gordy and I are, I think, pretty unusual when it comes to business and finances. Despite owning a home together and having a kid, we actually keep our finances quite seperate. He doesn’t really know what’s in my bank account – and I don’t know what’s in his either! We’ve both always been pretty independent in that way, and that just works for us.

What have you learned from the last few months?

So many things! I’ve learnt a lot about my comfort zone from a business cashflow perspective.

In my personal life, I’ve also been reminded of how much money I spend on silly things like dinners out and drinks and work lunches and daily coffees. With most shops and cafes closed, I’ve learnt to be frugal again and it’s making me question my usual spending habits – in a good way.

But mainly, as someone who tends to race through life at full speed, I’ve learnt about the joy of slowing down a bit. There’s a lot to be said for having nowhere to go and nothing much to do on a weekend. I’m enjoying living a life without #FOMO.

Who or what is bringing you good vibes right now?

My daughter, Minnie is a constant, joyful distraction.

All the isolation musical performances artists are sharing via social media… I got really into ‘Isol-Aid’ a few weeks back, and re-lived my youth singing along to Missy Higgins!

Melbourne based ceramicist @jameslemon Instagram is consistently hilarious!

OH and free childcare is definitely a GOOD VIBE!

What are you looking forward to/optimistic about?

I think Australia has a lot to be optimistic about. Though we’re not out of the woods just yet, we really did an unbelievable job of beating this virus. We’ve made a lot of sacrifices, we put the greater good ahead of individual interest, and we should be pretty proud of that. I’m hoping that attitude will continue to manifest in other ways, long after this virus is gone.

As far as TDF is concerned, I’m looking forward to getting back to normal. I want to have the whole team back together again, I want to be able to host events and exhibitions again, and I just want to get out of the ‘holding pattern’ and really start to dream big again

.And in my personal life, I’m turning 40 in October, so I’m also looking forward to celebrating that milestone!

Follow Lucy on Instagram (where you’ll see all the cute Minnie videos!) here!

Photo – Amelia Stanwix.

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