31 Fics of Fright
Day 17- Bones and All
Missy X Reader
Prompt: Skeleton
Notes: I swear I say I love this one every time, but this is one of the few ones where I instantly knew what I was going to write when I found out the prompt. It helps if you’ve read the Missy chronicles story ‘dismemberment’, but you can read this blind!
Warnings: None
The shovel gave another thunk as it plunged once more into the filthy grave dirt. You heaved, swinging the plate of metal at the soil with a grunt. Another chunk of the ground burst from its structure as you hauled the remnants over the edge of the grave. You’d been at this for hours now. You were surprised your arms hadn’t fallen off completely. The moon blazed down upon the cemetery, its fat glow illuminating the dark and casting its light upon every grave, monument and tombstone. Letters glimmered, etched into stone, the crisp grass breezing in the comforting Autumn wind.
You were about five feet deep into the grave, dirt decorating your body, sweat thick upon your top brow. Your hands had reddened from your grip upon the shovel, thankfully you’d remembered to pack your gloves. You’d shed your woollen knit, leaving you to face the brunt of the temperature in your vest and jeans. Luckily, the sheer heat of the physical labour kept the chill from your bones.
“Missy…” You wheezed, sinking the shovel back into the dirt, stepping on the edge with your filthy boots, aiding the sinking into the dirt. You looked up at the Timelady pitifully, trying your best attempt to mimic her trademark puppy dog expression. If you could fall for it every time, maybe she would too. It hadn’t worked yet, but there was a first time for everything.
“Don't you think… it’s your turn to dig?”
Missy paused, her hands stilling in the air as she held her fine China teacup in her grasp, pinkie finger poised and pointed to the west. Missy had laid out her fineries at the edge of your unsavoury excavation, a damask blanket sprawled across the grass, on which she perched as if having a day at the beach. She’d helped herself to a flask of tea, a packet of biscuits next to her saucer, her romance novel abandoned by her side, a bookmark slid between its pages. Her other book was currently somewhere in the graveyard, Missy having flung the novel in disgust when she found out the heroine didn’t in fact kill the comically photoshopped naked man on the cover. You only hoped, for the sake of her current book, the main character did in fact run off with the villainous sorceress.
“Aw, deary.” Missy cooed, placing the cup down on its saucer and beckoning you with a finger to her side of the grave.
You sighed, abandoning the shovel in its upright position. She inched closer to the edge of her blanket, reaching out her hand. On instinct you sank your chin into her palm, her thumb caressing the side of your mouth. In a swift motion she pulled her handkerchief from her top pocket, flourishing the intricate lace towards the sky, before tenderly dabbing the sweat from your brow. You relented, eyes fluttering shut as she mopped your forehead, throwing the embroidered cloth over her shoulder once she was done. Delicate fingers reached towards the packet of biscuits, and you opened your eyes to see her raising the treat to your lips. You opened wide, taking a bite as Missy pulled the rest of the treat from your lips.
“You’re doing so well, poppet. You’re most certainly nearly there. Wouldn’t want to spoil our precious progress with little old me hopping in there and driving the shovel, now would we?”
You shook your head, chewing as she elegantly pulled up the hem of her skirt, brandishing her Victorian laced heels.
“Besides, how ever would I dig in these babies?”
“I really hope these bones are worth it.” You grumbled, rolling back your shoulders.
“Oh trust me, there’s many more things I'd rather be doing.” Missy said, bushing back your stray hair.
“But those divorce lawyers are trixy, and they won’t rescind the marriage and let me at his fortune until they have all the parts of Bobo’s corpse as proof that he’s really dead.”
You huffed again, Missy watching you curiously. It was so painfully obvious how jealous you were of her temporary marriage, despite the fact she’d technically only been married for three minutes. Mrs Bobo Braithwaite indeed.
“And according to the Corn County Dentistry Office,” she said, glancing at the tombstone that loomed over the grave you were currently standing in. “This is the bastard that has his teeth.”
She was despicable. But you loved her so dearly. Finally bringing the teacup to your lips, she let you take a sip. Instantly, you felt refreshed. You wondered what on earth she’d put in that flask.
“There, now we’ve had a bitch and tea break, we can keep digging. You construction folk are all the same.”
You tilted your head, staring up at the Mistress expectantly. She smirked, before leaning down to place a kiss on your now dry forehead.
“So needy.” She teased, placing the rest of the biscuit in your mouth.
You reclaimed your shovel once more. With each dig you descended lower into the ground, and the dirt pile beside the gravesite grew into a dirt mountain. Missy had begun to revisit the novel, pouring herself a new cup of tea. You dug in silence for a further ten minutes, concentrating hard, the only sound being the hoot of distant owls, and the quiet sound of Missy’s humming as she read. The shovel sunk deep into earth time and time again, the monotonous routine sending you slightly insane.
“Skeletons aren’t that scary.” You rambled, hauling out the dirt.
“Everyone says ‘ooh, there's a skeleton inside you right now’ but realistically, you’re the brain. You’re inside the skeleton, not the other way around. You’re basically a squishy mass driving a flesh robot. What’s so scary about that?”
“Thank the gods this is the last one” Missy muttered, her attention suddenly stolen at the harsh clatter of metal against wood.
At the loud crack of the lid, you whipped your head to meet Missy’s face. You began to rapidly dig, the Timelady watching with anticipation as you unearthed the wooden coffin within the ground. You threw the shovel over the edge of the grave towards the dirt monument, Missy pulling a crowbar from the depths of her black wicker picnic basket. She was leaning over the edge, watching you pry open the lid of the box.
With a puff of dust into the air, a tribe of moths escaping their confinement, you stared down at the corpse: It lay in the coffin, bones yellowed and dirt ridden, its teeth bulging out of its mouth, tethered down with thick metal screws. Missy finally hopped down into the six foot hole, presenting her scanner from her pocket and placing it upon the corpse's mouth. It whizzed and whirred, getting its reading, the pair of you holding your breath as you awaited the results. After an agonizing minute of processing, the screen lit up clear as day-
DNA, BOBO BRAITHWAITE. 100% MATCH.
You smiled wide at the sight, Missy turning towards you with a devious grin.
“How do you feel about two weeks at the Catrigan Nova Spa and Resort, Sweet Face?” She preened, producing a pair of pliers in her spindly fingers.
“All inclusive?” You questioned, raising an excited eyebrow. Missy chuckled, placing the pliers in your awaiting hands and watching as you began to descend upon the skeleton’s teeth.
“As if I'd ever settle for less.”
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