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httpsserene · 6 months

Note

Heyy, i was wondering if you could do an Toto wolff x reader. I was thinking kitchen sex?? Like Toto getting turned on because he found out that reader was trying to make him his beloved pumpernickel bread for breakfast. I’ve been seeing tiktoks of Toto and his love for pumpernickel bread, and was just wondering if you could write abt it, though it’s TOTALLY ok if you don’t. Sorry if this was a little messy, this is my first time rqsting something. ♥️

𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐰/𝐭. 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐟

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you make toto his favorite bread. he’s going to thank you for this surprise properly. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. implied age gap. kitchen sex. rambling about bread. unprotected sex. vaginal sex. morning sex. reader and toto are married. beta-read. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.2k words 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: toto wolff x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: can't take my eyes off of you (i love you baby) • lauryn hill

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: can you tell i did way to much research on the types of pumpernickel bread? no, well, i don’t care 🙂 i WAS NOT familiar with toto wolff and pumpernickel bread so a quick youtube search opened my eyes to it and uh what can i say, this was born. ALSO: i feel like i’ve self-diagnosed myself; i am ashamed to admit that my kink might be somebody making me their wife…because why can’t i go one fic without making the reader be referenced to as a wife (m sorry i crave love). i honestly feel like it could be better, but y’know i hope i did your request justice (sorry it took me so long, ktober beat my ass). anon! i hope you see this, and i hope all the toto wolff lovers enjoy !!!

the yellow dish gloves on your hands protect your brown skin from most of the heat of the scalding tap water. the sound of your hums airily reverberate within the high ceilings of your open-plan kitchen as you clean the expensive dishes you’ve dirtied. you’ve taken off your wedding ring and placed it on top of your phone in the middle of the island to avoid any possibility of it falling down the drain or getting damaged.

you woke up a little after dawn, quickly shutting off your alarm to avoid waking up your husband; it’s the off season for him, you won’t wake him up at insane hours when he’s not needed to work. sneaking out of bed was a battle of its own—there were several close calls as you struggled to slip out of the tight hold of the austrian man. it took seven minutes for you to escape his warm embrace, but you made it through by thinking of the surprise you were going to cook up for Toto—or bake up for him. it’s no secret to anybody that the mercedes team principal loves pumpernickel bread, and that he’s very particular about how he likes it. of course, there’s no way you would be able to make the traditional german pumpernickel bread before he woke up—it takes fourteen hours to cook and it needs to rest for an entire day to allow it to form properly into its crunchy, cookie-like consistency. so, you decided to make the simplified recipe that only takes roughly an hour and a half to bake and prepare, while the original takes its time cooking. your husband will have to be happy with the more loaf-like treat until his preferred bread is ready. you’ve never been more thankful to have two ovens.

everything went well. both breads are prepped and baking away at their respective temperatures, and you’re carefully attempting to clean up the mess you’ve made in the process. you may not have been quiet enough based on the footsteps you hear heading your way. Toto pauses in the doorway and you smile, not needing to turn around to see the baffled expression on his face. you turn the faucet off and grab the cloth resting on the oven handle to dry your hands, “good morning, bär. slept well?” you teased gently with a small smile in Toto’s direction. you take an appraising glance of his form; he’s only wearing this pair of pajama pants covered in the mercedes logo (George gifted him those when the team did secret santa last year; Toto said he’d never wear them), leaving his toned torso exposed for your viewing pleasure, sleep lines from his pillow are still faint along his left cheek, and his hair is ruffled like he’s been running his hands through it. your husband nods half-heartedly, and blinks in confusion as he takes in the sight of you in the kitchen.

you're wearing one of his white button-up shirts—half of the buttons are fastened, the sleeves are rolled up and cuffed right above your elbow. you aren’t wearing a bra based on the way he can see how your nipples are pebbled through the shirt, and he assumes you’re only wearing underwear based on your bare legs. your feet are warmed by a pair of black, fuzzy house slippers, the bottom of the shirt rests along the middle of your thighs, and the collar is shifted to the side exposing your collarbone. your hair is free, allowed to rest however it wants to on this winter morning. he starts, making to finally enter the space of the kitchen and give you a proper morning greeting, but notices a smudge of flour along your jawline. and then he sees the baking utensils gathered in the sink, and a rich aroma starts to permeate the air. it smells slightly like coffee and slightly like dark chocolate—it’s sweet. then, it dawned on Toto, you’re baking pumpernickel bread. for him. his heart flutters; you usually sleep as late into the morning as possible, but today, you woke up at an insane hour just to make him his favorite bread from scratch. you’ve always teased him for how difficult he acts about his breakfast treat yet you sacrificed hours of sleep to please him. Toto’s mushy mindset is broken, as you cock your head at him, wondering why he hasn’t responded to you, and the collar of his your shirt shifts and falls to expose the top of your chest. mmm, yes, he should thank you properly.

you don’t even have time to register toto crossing the space between you, before your lips are interlocked in a passionate kiss. a shocked squeal is muffled against toto’s lips, as his large hands hold your waist steady, and your own hand flies up to hold his head. your other hand rises to tap at his chest frantically, as you begin to run out of air, and toto pulls away with an amused chuckle. dazedly, your hand on his chest pulls back to touch your lips, like you needed further verification that he just kissed you.

Toto smirks, “good morning, schatz.”

you nod unsteadily, “yes—g-good morning.”

your husband laughs louder at your stutter, and tugs you into his chest for a proper hug, rubbing at the nape of your neck with a heavy hand. the two of you stand tangled in the middle of the kitchen, uncaring of how many seconds fly by, and your eyes flutter shut at the relaxing motion of Toto’s massaging hands.

“i’m going to fuck you on the island, now, “ Toto informs you kindly.

you startle, pulling your head back to stare up at him with wide eyes. his gaze is serious, and you can’t help how your cheeks warm under his attention.

“well…” you murmur, “i’m not going to say no.”

from there, it’s all a rushed haze. you go from having two feet firmly planted on the tiled floor to being lifted and placed on the marble island as toto speeds through unbuttoning your collared shirt. you try to shrug it off, but Toto halts your motions firmly telling you to leave it on. you hum absently and pull him into a kiss. Toto moans into your mouth, and the sound has your hips bucking forwarding to grind against the bulge in his pants. his hands reaches for your left hip and assists you in grinding against him, and a sigh of pleasure parts your lips. the austrian eagerly slips his tongue into your mouth, and he tastes a bit of sugar from whatever you snacked on while making his bread. oddly, that causes more of his blood to rush south and he breaks the kiss to lean back and tug your panties off.

you simultaneously pull his pajama pants down, and squirm happily at the fact that he slept without boxers. Toto gently guides you to lie back on the countertop, and coos softly when you shiver from the cold surface; he’ll warm you up soon. he pulls your panties off from where they were dangling around your right ankle and drops them to the floor, kicking them to the side along with his pants. tugging you forward, your ass rests on the edge of the counter and he leans down to press kisses on your throat.

moaning highly, you crane your neck to expose its full length to his mercy. your right hand tangles in his hair to guide him exactly where you want, your left hand holds at his shoulder for support, with your nails digging into the meat of his muscles. Toto pauses, and pulls back to grab your left hand. a broken whine falls from your lips, and you buck your hips upward searching for friction, the slide of his cock along your folds feels delicious. his knees buckle at the sensation, and he forces your hips back down with his free hand, as he pulls your left hand in front of him to look at it.

“where’s your ring, liebling?” Toto asks, warm eyes focused on your bare ring finger. you laugh disbelievingly, amused and surprised at the fact that he managed to feel the absence of your wedding ring, and pull your hand out of his grasp smoothly. you reach behind you and pluck your ring from its spot on top of your phone, and slide it back on your finger. brandishing your ringed-hand in his eyeline, you impatiently try and buck your hips upward to no avail, his one-handed hold on you is unbreakable.

“okay! fuck me—now, please,” you demand desperately.

Toto hushes you, and holds your left hand steady. he stares into your eyes as he presses a kiss on the wedding ring he bestowed you with. your cheeks burn hot, and you roll your eyes as if your heart didn’t liquify at the show of devotion. your husband guides himself to your entrance, and pushes in carefully—thankful he fucked you open last night. you whimper softly, tender and sore, but you nod frantically to encourage Toto to push further in. he groans throatily as he bottoms out, throwing his head back in pleasure, and your moan harmonizes at the feeling of fullness. the stretch burns slightly, but you’re more focused on achieving an orgasm than the space he caves out in your walls.

you squeeze your knees around his waist, and grind up on him to encourage him to move. Toto grabs your left leg, bringing it to rest over his shoulder, while your right leg remains resting on his waist, both fuzzy slippers falling from your feet at the movement. it has him sliding slightly deeper inside you, and a spark of pleasure races up your spine. Toto begins to thrust, setting a quick pace from the get go. he fucked you open eight hours ago and the tightness of your cunt has him considering that he didn’t fuck you well enough. the bruises in the shape of his hands on your hips suggest differently. it’s ridiculous, how lost the two you get in each other’s bodies. your moans are punched out of you with every thrust, his cock dragging against your most pleasurable spot every time he sinks in you. Toto should be embarrassed at how quickly this is ending, but your sounds are too erotic for there to be any other outcome.

he lays his hand on your navel, gently adding pressure over where he’s reaching inside of you, while his thumb circles rapidly over your clit. your back arches sharply as you screech from the unexpected flare of pleasure, raking your nails down his back in thin red lines as you cum at the added stimulation. it’s a multitude of sensations and emotions that had you hurtling over the edge quicker than you thought possible, and Toto has no choice but to follow you into the abyss, unable to hold back his orgasm at the unbearably hot and wet grasp of your cunt. your husband rocks into you through the afterglow, pausing only when you start to whimper in too much, and not feeling good. staring up at toto with a blissed-out smile and half-lidded eyes, you sigh sweetly as he slips out and leans down to kiss you again. the press of his lips is syrupy sweet and you find yourself getting lost under the feeling of him pouring his love and devotion into you—even though you don’t need the reminder—and the timer you’ve set on your phone blares jarringly causing you and toto to jump apart, startled.

“what the fuck,” Toto deadpans as you scramble around to turn off the alarm.

you sigh in relief once the aggravating sound is silenced, and nudge at Toto’s hip with your foot, “well—don’t just stand there! get the bread out before it burns!”

the austrian huffs exaggeratedly, like it’s such a chore, and pulls on the oven mitts to take out the pumpernickel bread adaptation after you direct him to the proper oven, not wanting him to disturb the traditional bread baking. the sight of the known headphone-smashing, hothead mercedes team principal completely naked spare for a pair of oven mitts is amusing, enough that you can’t quiet your snort, uncaring of how Toto glares at you. he places the baking tin on the cooling rack you set to the side, and hums happily at the aroma—even though it’s a far cry from the usual bread he prefers. like the oaf he is, Toto reaches to pull a piece of the fresh pumpernickel to eat, but with lightning quick speed you reach over and slap his hand away before he defiles the bread.

“aht aht! what do you think you're doing? it needs at least forty-five minutes to cool before you can take a slice,” you scold the grown man.

Toto pouts (astounding, honestly), and then he brightens considerably, a sleazy smirk spreading across his lips, “ah? we have time for a second round then, maybe three…” you laugh hysterically, ignoring the way your stomach flips pleasingly at the suggestion, and slide off the counter, buttoning up your collared shirt, and you bend down to pick up the discarded pieces of clothing lying on the floor, “there’s no way you manage to get hard twice in forty-five minutes, old man–” Toto balks at your words–he’s really not old, or at least not that old, “–however, it’s enough time to finish washing the dishes you distracted me from doing.”

taglist: @saintslewi@cherry2stems@lorarri@inloveallthetime@mindless-rock@biancathecool@barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

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honeymaki · 3 months

Text

𝘐 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 .｡.:*･

Warnings: mentions of bodily harm, oral sex (f → receiving), penetrative sex, creampie, unneeded religious themes, mentions of body hair; reader has a hydro vision and is from Inazuma.

Words: 6k

Characters: Cyno; mentions of Tighnari as a reluctant tutor.

→ Notes: this is my first fic in honest to god years, proper thought out all consuming insane in the head fic; and I am proud of this.

The heat of Sumeru was different to the heat of Inazuma, the sweet smelling summers and the cool touch of the vast ocean on your toes were now just memories wisping like the steam that rose from streams, and the breeze that picked up the morning dew drops from leaves larger and thicker than any you had ever seen.

Inazuma summers meant blue ice pops and sweet milk beverages, lounging in you underclothes on the veranda, fanning yourself and whoever was your companion for the day, sucking on juicy melon slices and watching the fishermen bring in their catch of the day down by the shore, the crystal waves just beckoning you in for a much needed swim. The heat there was bearable, almost, with the promise of a fiery red autumn to follow if the sun got high enough and always smelling oh so sweet in the evenings when restaurants and common folk would move their cooking outdoors, smoke from the barbeques dancing in the mellow breeze like rice plumes in their paddy fields, carrying drippings of fat and roasted lavender melons to your nose. If the night was just right, you could just catch the slow baking of Tomoki’s dango, sweet rice cakes lathed with caramel or a soy glaze, both welcomed after hours wandering the slopes beneath Narakumi.

Sumeru summers, despite only experiencing a few in your recent years, were so stiflingly different and yet, a gentle reminder of what it was like back home. It was definitely - wetter with sweltering days that made it hard to breathe and made way for almost frigid nights, dew settling fat and heavy over the land, clouds gathering to tease a storm but only showering a gentle drizzle. The sprawling fields and jagged islands of Inazuma made way for the jungles and vast forests of Sumeru, sunlight dappled and sparkling no matter the time of day, shining through leaves and spider webs and flowers you had yet to name, catching in the estuaries and ponds snaking across the landscape. And the desert, dry and barren with the formidable beast in the sky baring down at all moments, was teaming with the same greenery as your new residence. You didn’t often venture past Caravan Ribat and the few times you did travel there, the sun was shielded behind great hanging cloths and rugs of immense beauty, some old and worn and some witnessing their first day protecting the residents and travellers of the threshold of the desert. Though the shade and protection of the trees was much more suited to you and your gentle memories of Inazuma, flitting from branch to branch the way you used to with the sea caves and shipwrecks of your home.

Sumeru summers meant ripe Zaytun peaches and crunchy radishes pickled with chilli and mint, sipping on lukewarm water from your pouch but wading through ice cold streams to document new outcrops of lotus’. It meant the constant shout of brightly coloured birds beyond your window, the low hum of traders passing through and offering their wares, the enticing aroma of curries and unleavened breads, both sitting heavy and comfortingly in your belly after every sweltering excursion.

There were times you missed Inazuma, deeply and painfully, but as it was, fate had called you beyond the services to the Shogunate and beyond the great sea which had previously been barred. The lifting of the decree saw a mass migration of people, some back to their original homes and many off to new, including yourself in the form of a letter from the Akademiya offering to school you in the great city of Sumeru.

That summer saw your first sea voyage, and your last taste of Inazuman sweetness for many years. The Akademiya was good to you, one of the first Inazumans in an age to study among their natives, bringing your knowledge of Inazuman biology and medicine to their foresight and introducing them to a world of eternity and strange new ways to ferment soybeans. It was difficult to grow accustomed to their culture, their ways and laws, and their itchy uniforms, preferring the loose garb that the forest rangers wore, their bows and their nimble knowledge. Studying under the Amurta discipline was a gentle reminder of home, reading about all sorts from around Teyvat, wishing so dearly to travel even beyond Sumeru to see it all for yourself; sitting at your desk in the early hours of the morning dreaming of the mountains of Liyue and the beauty of the Qingxin that you would find, wondering what it would be like to swim in the waters of Fontain and venture among the ancient forests of Mondstadt. Your love of the forest, of all things green and living and thriving sent you to Gandarva Villa, under the apparently famed and somewhat reluctant mentorage of Tighnari. Reluctant in that upon reading your thesis and realising that you had already submitted your first manuscript, and concluding that he had little idea of the basis of your study and that you had already nearly finished it entirely.

Inazuma had been closed off, shut to any and all outsiders for a generation, prompting only theories and wild ideas about your archon and her dealings; which lead to a dramatic decline in knowledge flowing from her shores, not only technologically but also botanically. Growing your first successful lavender melon on a rickety trellis in your front garden was talked about for weeks, fuelled only by your multiple displays of how one could cook, eat and utilise it. Food from Inazuma was indeed traded in the cities, but many of the forest rangers rarely ventured into the winding, bustling streets so in between studying and writing up a new version of your manuscript; you took it upon yourself to grow as much as you could from home to share with your new and beloved friends. And the Sumeru summers were the perfect growing conditions to do this, spending your pink and orange evenings pruning the naku weed and spreading straw beneath the amakuno fruits, tending to the delicate blooms of your unsuccessful dendrobiums.

Which is where you found yourself one calm and thankfully cool evening after feasting with your companions. Knelt on the grass, books and papers surround you and your distinct annoyance, chewing your lip and pondering on the answers you finally found regarding your one nemesis. A single sprout curls and threatens to wither before you, rejecting the sprinkle of water you summon from your palm, looking very sorry for itself; a sad reflection of its carer,

“I didn’t think I’d have to resort to such sinful methods little one,” you grumble, theory confirmed by the pocketbook of your own writing completed some years ago, “But I promised Tighnari and he looks really silly when he pouts,” as if your words would suddenly spark the sprout into blooming, a crumb of soil instead shuddered and dropped from its crisped leaf in defeat. A creature called out in the distance, wind blew gently through the valley and rustled your papers, concealing the staggering breaths of a person advancing on your delicate little world, and concealing the unsheathing of a small pocket knife. It was clear your intention, fuelled by your field notes and the archived history of Nazuchi Beach, and in a dramatic display; you held your hand out over the sorrowful sprout with the blade kissing your skin.

A hiss of breath and the nicking pain never came, pressure and a grunt revealed a hand holding your wrist far from the shining lick of the knife.

“What exactly are you doing?” the familiarity of that gruff voice causes a chill to ripple down your spin, hanging your head with heat in your cheeks, “I didn’t know it was Inazuman custom to sacrifice oneself to plants, dead ones at that,”

“I wasn’t going to entirely sacrifice myself, these plants grow only where blood has been spilt and I'm not going to ask someone else to do it for me, or start a war like they did back home so I figured -,” turning to face him, something catches you off guard. It wasn’t unusual for the General Mahamtra to pass through the valley, even stay for a few nights with his fellows, but it was unusual that he seemed - not quite right, despite still gripping you and staring at you with unimpressed judgement. So much so that you abruptly ended your swotty explanation and tried to pull away from him, to no avail,

“Are you okay? You look kind of unwell?” voice gentle and curious, causing Cyno to tighten his grip on your wrist even more, “Ah ! - you’re hurting me,”

“Where is Tighnari? I need to see him, something has happened…I’ve done something regreful,” even though he seemed to have been speaking perfectly fine a few seconds ago, Cyno suddenly sounded a thousand miles away and almost intoxicated. Eyes glancing around furtively, searching for nothing and everything, specifically your reluctant mentor who currently -,

“He’s away right now, Liyue - ow ! - there was a cooking event he wanted to go to and so I asked if he could pick me up some Violetgrass and also some starconches,” you say through your teeth, struggling out of his grasp and rubbing your wrist, squinting at his figure in the doctor-ish way Tighnari taught you. All of a sudden, he didn’t look much like a General Mahamatra, or even a matra; trying desperately to hide the sways in his body and the shaking of this fists held tightly by his side, tongue dipping out of his mouth to lap at the beads of sweat rolling down his upper lip, eyes red and rimmed dark. Words seem to be a loss for him at the news, swallowing thickly and looking down at his feet, toes digging into the carefully curated moss of your garden,

“What did you eat?” your sharp question stuns him out of his stupor for a moment, scrambling to your feet to assess him properly, “Or drink, but I assume it was something edible that has you sweating like the grand sage in a brothel,”

“Don’t - ,” he spits, “Don’t mock me,” you step back, hands up in submission, face shining with the want to help,

“I wasn’t Cyno, I promise, Tighnari isn’t here right now so I’m going to help you, but I need you to answer my questions so I can do that,” it occurred to you for a moment that as the General, Cyno probably knew about his friend’s little excursion and yet, came straight to you instead of the Akademiya. But a sharp exhale banished that thought from your mind,

“In the North, near Vanarana, there were Fatui breaking protocol,” at the mention of the mysterious and mostly unmapped region, you usher Cyno into your humble hut, drawing the wicker shutters and lighting a candle in the dwindling dusk, “they had stolen goods - crests from all over Teyvat, mostly food from Inazuma, some kind of mushroom …,”

“Oh Cyno, we have both told you never to -,”

“Yeah, yeah, never eat something I can’t name, I know; but it looked like a starshroom, it was glowing and I can obviously name that so, I ate it,” sinking into a chair, Cyno suddenly looked pale in the candlelight, wiping sweat from his brow and shifting his hips beneath your scrutinising gaze,

“Did you say it was glowing? You ate a glowing mushroom?” this was hardly the time for jesting but you couldn’t help but grin, vanishing in a second under Cyno’s scowl, “Tighnari is going to be so mad at you, I thought it was obvious not to go around tasting things that glowed! We teach that to children! And newcomers who have never seen anything like it before,” your berating is only half serious, rummaging around you various knapsacks and baskets for the ingredient you needed to ease his pain, handing him a strip of dried something or other with a kind look, “Chew on this, it should stop the pain in a few seconds but just hang tight okay? I’ll take care of you,”

As much of a mother you seemed around those who made mistakes, berating them sharply before showing them the right way or the solution; Cyno almost felt like a lover to you in the way you cupped his jaw to make sure he was indeed chewing on the bark, stroking the tops of his cheekbones and the round of his collar in search of a rash, fingers soft and methodical, loving in a way he was unsure of whether you used towards other patients. He watched you work, content with his stabilising condition and preparing some kind of drink, back facing him and sweetly busy at your workbench. You were so precise and aged in your movements, picking the right herb and concoction without having to think, mixing them perfectly into a hand thrown cup with an extra spoonful of something for good measure,

“Here,” you sat down in the chair next to him, pressing a cool palm to his forehead beneath his headpiece, “I put some sugar in it to make it a little easier to drink, m’fraid I didn’t have any lavender melon syrup left,” the cup is heavy when you push it towards him, eyes curious and ever watchful, “If you need to throw up then warn me first,”

That struck him as odd. “Why didn’t you make me do that as soon as I arrived here? Surely that’s the first protocol in eating something dangerous?” you jerked your head, an indicator for him to drink and truly, the sugar did nothing to hide the foul taste and Cyno couldn’t hold back the winces and the gags as he swallowed,

“You ate fluorescent fungus, probably a rarer sub-specie that is very similar to the starshroom and native to Inazuma, obviously. The spores would have touched your lips first and as it is a very delicate plant -,” you fiddle with a small pocket book left on the table, showing him a beautiful painted depiction of the yellow-ish fungus he ate, “your saliva would have dissolved it before it even hit your stomach so vomiting would not have done much,” he nods, somewhat in defeat, gulping the last of your concoction with a poorly hidden gag, “We can sit until you feel better if you’d like, I’m surprised you didn’t have worse symptoms. Usually people get hallucinations, fainting, loss of limb control; the usual when one eats a poisonous mushroom, but you’re strong I guess,” you steal a glance at his body reclined and tense in the chair, “or just resistant,” Cyno doesn’t reply, tilting his head back and taking a shallow breath, still uncomfortable and unwell, “Just relax, it’ll take effect in a little bit, I’ll take care of you while it does,”

There was that strange feeling that made Cyno want to suck in his cheeks and puff out his chest, but it was not all that unfamiliar. Moments like this were common, more so in the recent visits, the ones where he felt like you could be a little more than the Inazuman who knows surprisingly too much. Sat around the fire in the cool nights, palm held in yours, tracing the deep callouses and lines and pretending to be a mage from your home city, making up some jumbo about his future and him suddenly so wishing you were in it; waving at him from down in the valley, wading with the fishes and the fungi, trousers rolled up to your knees and looking just about the happiest he had ever seen you; listening from the shadows as you animatedly retold stories from travelling around Watatsumi and foraging the pearls hidden beneath the glowing waters, an eagerly fond look twinkling in his eye; slyly asking about you at the Akedamiya, wondering about your studies and pretending to be interested in your thesis when all he could see was your printed name at the top of the manuscript; times when you thought he couldn’t see you looking at him with his headpiece off, a cut on his brow or a set of cards on the table in front of him, noticing your longing gaze and keeping it safe for the lonely nights in the desert.

You were looking at him now, thinking he was resting, allowing your eyes to trace the steady rise and fall of his chest, the soft skin of his stomach and the trunks of his thighs, spread and inviting. It takes all he has not to smirk, or flush, or even move. It’s strange, he thinks, he feels almost uncomfortable in that he desperately wants to do something about it, in an all the more wanton way. Makes him feel wound up, on edge almost, biting his tongue and scrunching his toes in case he might stand up and simply confess.

“How do I know if I’m hallucinating?” Cyno knows he isn’t, but it fills the heady silence and he hears you readjust yourself, sitting up a little straighter,

“Well, first of all, you shouldn’t be hallucinating now since the medicine should be working,” there’s concern in your voice, licking like a lover over his ears, feeling you press forward and he feels you caress his closed eyelid, “look at me? Why could you be hallucinating now?” he’s lazy in aiding your poking and prodding, allowing you to remove his headpiece and place it on the table, blinking blearily, “Describe what you are feeling please, and what you’re seeing,”

“I’m not sure how to describe it,” he grumbles after a moment in gathering his thoughts, struggling in your close proximity, “You’re so close, it’s interfering with my concentration,” you furrow your brows, confused and more than concerned, that same soft scowl of a lover settling on your face at his words, “there, you’re doing things and saying things and making me feel things I’m not accustomed to, it feels wrong; like it and you and all this shouldn’t be here,”

“And so, you think that you’re experiencing a hallucination of what exactly?” you feel for a temperature, sitting back in your chair at his leaning forwards into the touch of your hand, “I’m not sure you’re hallucinating Cyno, your vitals are - ,” precise fingers dig into the doughy, giving skin under his chin to feel for a pulse, finding it strong and fluttering like a small bird, “Let me get you something to drink, water this time I promise,” you’re not angry with his feigning symptoms, or that concerned at his apparent anxiety, not berating him in that motherly way like you usually do and that only causes his pulse to rocket higher and the anxiety creep further into his gut. You’re acting in that way again, sweet eyes and a sweeter voice, like honey, fetching him a cool welcomed cup of water in the way such as after a night of -

You distinctly remember hearing absolute silence in the seconds between you standing to get your guest some water, and then feeling his imposing presence behind you, close enough to feel his breath on the back of your neck. Time stops at the sound of his fists clenching by his side, swallowing thickly at the sight of your inviting skin, physically shaking in his restraint,

“I feel like I’m dreaming, like none of this and none of what I am feeling is real,” you’re silent still, barely breathing in the confined space he’d boxed you into, a small corner of your hut with a sink that provided you some much needed physical support. Psychologically however, you were in turmoil. Cyno, the Great General Mahamtra, felt as if he was having a hallucination or some kind of dream in his apparent romantic or lustful pursuit of you, and the implication of what was standing behind you was suddenly too much to bear.

“I could - pinch you if you’d like,” the voice that leaves you doesn’t sound like your own, shaky and shy, “Dreams aren’t real, you shouldn’t be able to feel or touch or taste in a dream, if you concentrate hard enough,”

A beat passes, filled with sharp, quiet breaths passing between you and it aches that you cannot see what he’s doing, or what he looks like or how he feels. Your heart flutters like a sakura petal in the spring breeze, mouth dropping open when you feel his hands rest on your hips, burning hot through your clothes. Cyno sucks in a breath, lips dry and cool as they part against your neck, tongue darting out to taste the damp saltiness of your skin,

“I feel you,” he mumbles into your jugular, thick hair sticking to the side of your face and his nails dig into the cushiony flesh of your hips, “I feel you, and you feel - soft, so soft,” hips press into you, strong and hard and fluid, “And you taste like nectar, like honey and wine and - like a dream,”

“It’s been more than enough time for the medicine to take its full effect, you shouldn’t feel any more side effe…Cyno,” his name comes out a sigh at his attaching his mouth fully to your throat, wet and warm and causing your knees to buckle. He catches you, almost, slinging an around around your middle and hoisting you back against him, panting against the back of your neck,

“I guess you’re right,” one hand grips your wrist, urging you to put down the cup and Cyno lifts it to his lips, nose running down the pulsing veins as it trying to absorb your scent and the effect he has on your pulse, throbbing beneath the delicate skin, “How could this be a dream, a hallucination if I can feel everything, taste you on my tongue, touch you like this?”

He’s grinding against you, body writhing in tandem with his in response, mouth open with heady gasps and mewls that remind him over and over that not only did you save him from certain madness, but you also were eagerly reciprocating his equally eager advances. Long fingers unlace the ties of your trousers and dip beneath your waistband, instead dragging up into your shirt, loose and comfortable for your planned evening of study, now easily parting like clouds on a blustery day for him. The first touch against your chest sends you shivering into his grip, fingertips brushing the underside of your breast oh so softly and politely before gripping a little firmer, then altogether greedily. Flesh spilling between his fingers, nipple catching on a callous, rough and a little mean but eliciting such a submissive little reaction that Cyno nearly folds forward against you.

“Please, please, please,” you’re muttering desperately, sacred like you’re saying a prayer, pushing your chest further into his touch and arching your back, “Touch me please,”

“You’re always so polite,” he isn’t much for words, let alone praises but you’re so dear and so sweet in his arms, shivering like a little lamb and even bleating at the slithering of his other hand into your trousers. With his face still nuzzling into your neck, Cyno is only just able to hide his distinct devastation at how wet you are, positively soaking your underwear and covering his fingers in honeyed slick. He grips your breast harder, plucking at your nipple at the same luxurious pace as his forefingers sliding through your cunt, slipping sloppily over your clit and you all but howl. You aren’t quite sure what to do with your hands, the one he was previously lathing kisses to was now somehow tangled in his hair, holding him in place and it’s grounding, it’s anchoring you to the intense, gooey pleasure coursing through your gut. Your other hand is gripping his forearm, the one deep between your thighs or the one greedily fisting your breasts, you aren’t sure but your nails hurt and you think it’s because you’re holding on too tight, but how can you not when too much is happening all at once?

Cyno feels your arousal coating his hand, palm sticky and fingers pruning with his assault, languid circles over your clit, following the shivers and writhes of your body with grinds and jerks of his own. Gods, he’s so hard that it hurts, and he knows that you’re so close, so fucking close to cumming but he can’t help but still worry if he’s dreaming, if this is all an after effect of his incident, if you’d neglected to tell him how long something like a hallucination could last. He vaguely hears you howl in agonising dejection when he rips his hand from your trousers, strings of arousal glistening in between his fingers in the light and he’s struck with how you’d much prefer to cry over the loss than watch him lick up the mess you’d made. You only just manage to catch his eyes rolling back at the taste, dripping down his wrist, three fingers shoved into his mouth and positively devouring the essence of you. Tears leak down your cheeks, replacing his fingers with your lips in a whirlwind of need and hard, hot desperation, swallowing his surprised grunt with a whine of your own. Cyno doesn’t respond for a moment, shocked at your display of wantonness, tongue licking inside his mouth in a thinly veiled attempt at tasting your own arousal and his grip on you suddenly becomes all the more fierce.

“I can’t - I can’t -,” your kisses grow sloppy with your begs, struggling to pull your trousers down, almost losing your balance and it pains Cyno to part from you for even a second to disrobe himself. Red eyes follow your every movement, toeing off your shoes and ungracefully kicking away your trousers, bending over for a moment and it takes everything in him not to cum on the spot. Nestled between your thighs, dripping and plump, the scent of it wounding him to his knees, crawling half dressed over to you,

“Gods - fuck,” eyes fluttering closed at your suprised gasp, tongue darting out to lick gently, lightly like he was licking honey from his finger, catching the leaking drops and feeling his stomach clench, and his cock kick against his thigh. You remain in place, frozen against his curious, pointed licks, flattening his tongue after having his fill and splitting your pussylips with a lewd noise. He could be content between your thighs for the rest of his life, Akademiya be damned, coming home from his duties to this lifeline of saccharine sin that he swallows down greedily and selfishly. The wings of your shirt sit bunched over your hips, sliding low over your ass until he frustratedly fists the cotton against your cheek and spreads you enough to put his whole mouth against you.

“Cyno! Ah - !” you startle forwards, but he only follows like a worshipper, slurping and swallowing every flutter and every throb of you, fingers digging hard into your thigh and ass to keep himself in place. A tentative hand cards into his hair, a question and his answer was a long, slow moan directly into your cunt, vibrating between your hips and the result was your closeted strength almost shoving him over, nose hitting your clit and causing you to gyrate deliciously.

That was all he wanted, this drawn out stupor only stabilised by your shuddering grinds against his tongue, palm slapping against the countertop. If you’d allow him, Cyno would do this every day, he’d gladly station himself in the city if he got to taste the heaven between your thighs even for a few seconds in the mornings before he was called in to deal with the country’s worst and the best. It would be a welcome reprieve, one he’d been craving without even knowing it; in the moments alone with you, sacred and secret, soft and sweet and warm. To feel you gushing down his chin, moans reaching their crescendo and legs shaking on your tiptoes, all but sobbing into the crook of your elbow as you cum; it would be worth the sacrifice.

Cyno felt selfish, detaching himself from your cunt, resting his forehead against the back of your thigh and smoothing his hands over your shuddering calves, down to your ankles and then back up to your ass.

“Are you okay?” his breath is hot on your skin, and through your gulping pants, you manage to answer with a cracked ‘mhm’. You feel him smile wide and smug, standing and hiccuping at the state of you, slumped against the sink and writhing as if in pain, whole body breathing with your dwindling orgasm, “Come here, I got you,”

Carefully and all too greedily, Cyno scoops your torso against his with his hand angling your jaw, tilting your face up to his. A kiss is pressed to your lips, languid and lazy, a stark contrast to the blunt head of his cock kissing the lips of your cunt. You shudder, unable to return his kisses but trying so desperately to keep his stare, eyes boring into yours as he angles his hips.

“I got you,” he murmurs a promise, feeling your fingers lace with his over your throat, watching your lids flutter as he presses into you, “Stay with me, I got you I promise, just a little more,”

Breathy and fleeting, Cyno recites his words like a prayer, thrusting gently and shallowly at your wobbling bottom lip, swallowing your discomforted hiccups. He doesn’t thrust to the hilt like he so dearly wishes to, filling you in one swipe and leaving you reeling - no, he’s slow, methodical, precise and doesn’t break eye contact for even a second. Keeping a firm grip on your jaw, chasing the breaking down of your resolve every inch he slides into you until there’s no more, snug and warm and so fucking wet. He feels you against his pelvis, against his thighs, sticky and warm, shuddering when he kisses you once more, almost like a praise for taking him all the way.

You’re trying to speak, trying to make any sort of sound but the breath is stolen from your chest when he starts an agonisingly deep grind, up into you, hardly leaving the warmth of your cunt and digging hard into your belly. It feels as though he’s in your throat, eyes never leaving yours and sending you spiralling, gasps turning into whimpers turning into hiccuping sobs of his name with every defying push of his hips. Cyno sees your eyes flutter for a second, lips parted and brushing yours, swallowing every delicious sound you make, responding with grunts of his own in both encouragement and sin.

“Eyes on me,” he purrs, a crack in his voice at the sudden way you choke him, cunt clenching at the drop in his tone. Cyno shudders, pace slipping and he slides his hand down over the swell of your belly, feeling for the slippery bud of your clit. When he decides to match the slow, heady pushes and pulls of his hips with heavy thrums over your clit, you’re quite unsure of how you manage to stay standing upright.

“Ah - ! Cyno !” he never falters, not even when you grind back up against him, not even when you try to lick into his mouth for even a semblance of grounding, not even when you cum so hard that fat tears roll down your cheeks, not even when you finally catch your voice and reach back to grip hard at his hair, “Again, make me cum again please,” you beg, “Please Cyno, please - inside, cum inside, make it deep - please,”

Begging didn’t seem to be about your usual person, the one he knew that shared their meals and knowledge with anyone who asked, so to hear it fall from the heaven of your lips was surely his downfall. It was unexpected, it tore a deep and long snarl from his chest, grinds turning into thrusts turning into something damning and gut wrenching. The fingers on your clit were kinder, swift circles to keep you leaking down your thighs but the cock battering your sensitive walls was less so.

He never stops watching you though, even when you reach a second completion, all the more messier and sloppier than the first, red heavy eyes boring into yours without faltering for even a second. Cyno presses his forehead to yours, the angle causing your neck to ache but it goes unnoticed through the life giving pleasure he brings you, with every greedy slam of his pelvis against your ass. Lips touch yours in the moment he cums, eyes finally snapping shut and you think he looks beautiful through the fog of your orgasm; illuminated by the candle light, sweat flecking his brow, hair mussed and tangled in your fingers. Jaw ticking with every twitch of his cock deep inside of you, warmth spreading through your hips and thighs, feeling his hand flatten over your stomach as a kind of worship, caressing the space he fills so deliciously.

“I - ,” he swallows heavily,

“It’s okay,” is the first thing you can think of, “I wanted it too,” Cyno’s eyes open and he searches your face, “For… a while,”

It feels like eternity before he answers, nudging his nose against yours affectionately,

“Would it surprise you to admit I felt the same? That I waited far too long, and chose a rather idiotic time to do it?” the corner of his lips lift in a smirk,

“Honestly and with your track record? Not really, you have a bad habit of keeping things to yourself,” with bated breath you lean to kiss him softly, “But so do I, I guess,”

Cyno clenches his jaw as he pulls away from you, surveying the mess of your coupling before surveying the mess between your thighs. He flushes dark, lust threatening red again at the white threatening to spill to the floor,

“Here, let me - help you,” he aids in removing your soiled shirt, using that as a rag between your thighs and he hisses along with your protests at the sensitivity, “I’m sorry, I’ll be gentler next time, I promise,” you aren’t shy in your nudity, how could you really? And you turn to Cyno with heated cheeks,

“Next time? When - urm - when do you plan on having a next time?” Goosebumps flurry over your arms, nipples perking in the coolness of the night and Cyno can’t help but reach out, cupping the weight of your breast and sighing at the feeling, “I can’t, not right now - that’s too soon Cyno! You gotta let me rest! Don’t be so - !”

And he laughs. Full and loud and hearty, gripping you and embracing you and kissing you with laughter wrinkling his face, craning you backwards and swaying you to and fro. You squeal, thighs tacky and sticky but following his movements, allowing him to swing you over to your cot on the far wall.

“I would never defile you without asking, and not before tasting you thoroughly too,” Cyno kneels before you, a covenant and their disciple, hands tucked together in prayer, “And besides, I’m still questioning whether this is a dream,”

“I could pinch you, again, if you like?” You draw your blanket up around your shoulders, sliding backwards further on to the bed, noticing for the first time that Cyno still had a majority of his upper clothing on and there was something about the exposure of his abdomen, the ripples of his muscles, the thatch of white hair trailing down from his belly button to his cock resting between his thighs that gets you all tingly and warm again. He folds himself into the small space with you, catlike and flexible, kissing your forehead with a hum,

“Maybe in a few hours, I’ll probably wake up and need a splash of something on my face to remind me I’m not hallucinating,” it takes you a second to catch on, hiding your face in your hands with a mortified groan and Cyno laughs again, gathering you close, keeping your quaint reaction to his terrible joke a secret, a safe little slice of heaven only for him to enjoy. In the back of his mind, he remembers suddenly that out of everyone; you’re the only one who entertained his jokes and silly puns, and the first time you genuinely laughed at one was also probably the first time he decided that he loves you. The word chases tails in his mind as he succumbs to sleep, tucked up against you and keeping his lips firmly pressed to your forehead, an imprint of himself for you to feel even when he wasn’t there.

#cyno x reader #cyno smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #cyno x y/n #cyno x you #genshin impact x you #I hope this one shows up:((((

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arvensimp · 1 year

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Rain and Ruined Sandwiches

Another lil arven x reader fic. This one specifically doesn't use any gendered pronouns so the reader can be fem, masc, or nb. No warnings other than a mild storm and tooth rotting fluff.

You two met up along the road, just a happenstance meeting. Arven was foraging for ingredients, and you were looking into a mass outbreak of Pokemon reported in the area.

Since graduating, the two of you had taken up working part time gigs alongside your former instructors, you with Jacq and Arven with Saguaro.

After completing your assigned tasks, you set up a picnic, let all your pokemon roam together, and get to preparing some food.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" Arven cries out when he sees you working on sandwiches for yourself and your partners.

"...putting pickles on my sandwich?" It was an innocent enough sentiment.

"You're ruining your bread is what you're doing," He scoffs, coming off maybe a bit more unkindly than you know he means to sound. "When you add your pickles right to the bread like that, you're just making it soggy." He pauses and looks at your sandwich a little more closely. "...especially when you add that many."

"We like pickles," you defend, sheepishly.

"I mean, valid, but if you like fluffy bread and crunchy pickles, I definitely recommend putting them between some layers. May I?" He gestures to your plate. When you nod your acquiescence, he gets to work fixing your 'mess.'

In your pocket, you fumble a bit with something you'd found during your work, making you smile. Later on, you hope to give it to Arven, maybe as thanks?

"Aaaand.....done!" Arven declares a minute later as he delicately places the sandwich pick you'd handed him. "A perfectly arranged, definitely NOT soggy sa-"

BOOM--craAACK

The thunderstorm sweeps in all at once, thoroughly soaking everything all around you in a sheet of rain.

"-andwich..." He finishes with a whimper.

You were already at work recalling all of your pokemon, prioritizing those who wouldn't take kindly to the damp.

"I should have packed an umbrella. I knew I should have packed an umbrella..."

"I know," You console, patting him gently on the upper arm. "C'mon. There's a cave not far from here. We'll be dry there." Rain is starting to cling to your clothes uncomfortably, and you feel your hair starting to drip.

The two of you quickly pack up from there and head to the cave. Thanks to Arven's scovillain, you have a fire started within minutes to get you both warm and dry.

"I know it's not the same, but... I do have some packaged snacks?" You offer after some companionable silence in front of the fire.

Arven wordlessly grabs a bag of Mimikyu Munchies from you before tearing into them grumpily. "I just...wanted to make you something perfect." He grouches, speaking through a mouthful.

"Eh, it's okay," You reply, sneaking a few treats from the bag in his hand. "We have all the time in the world. Speaking of... I actually," You feel inside your pocket again. "I have something else for you, too. I found it today while researching. Hold out your hand?"

Arven does as he's told, holding out his free hand, the other still stuffed into his bag of snacks. You press a sleek PokeBall into his palm.

"A...pokeball? You shouldn't have?"

"C'mon." You jovially roll your eyes and press him a bit further, excited. "It's what's in the ball. Let them say hi!"

"...Oh. O-Okay," Arven releases the pokemon inside, and you keep a close eye on his face in the firelight. His eyes seem to get bigger, softer. It may just be the dancing flames, but you think he might be tearing up. You take his free hand from the snack bag, entwining your fingers, not caring about the mess of salty dust. "Okay. Yeah, you really shouldn't have... A-are you sure?"

"Of course I am! Did you know the Galarians have a legend about these guys?"

Arven wordlessly nods as he brings an arm up to hide his face. Meanwhile, a little green applin squirms up into his lap and squeaks cheerfully.

"Jacq sent me out to study the applin outbreak, and this little one caught my eye. I thought....well, I thought you two would get along. The green ones like this guy only happen around once per four thousand or so. Do ya like'm?"

Arven can't really speak too well through the lump in his throat, but he nods again. He disconnects your hands to lovingly stroke one of applin's little leafy eyestalks. It chitters happily and leans into him. His other hand, meanwhile, gently places applin's ball down before it goes to his pocket, where he pulls out another PokeBall, this one green and red. A friend ball.

"H-here..." He sniffles, handing it to you before picking up his applin. "We, uh... I think, 'great minds' and all that..."

You take the ball confusedly and release its contents. A moment later you have your own applin, this one a shining red and much, much smaller than normal, chittering and squeaking softly in your lap, bouncing and bumping against your hands playfully.

In that amount of time, Arven seems to have collected himself a bit, but his voice is still soft and a bit stuffed up.

"Mr. Saguaro sent me out to gather sweet and tart apples, basically the different kinds of apples that can be used to evolve these little guys. He wants to see if they have any effects like meal powers when cooked. That one," He gestures to your applin, "Just happened to take a shine to me...and he reminded me of my 'little buddy.'" You giggle softly at his old nickname for you. He goes on. "Plus I've got tons of the different types of apples, so whatever way you want to have it evolve..." Arven trails off with a shrug. "I mean, I know it's not shiny..."

"I love it!" You interrupt Arven before he can go down that path. You hold up your applin, all small and feisty and wonderful. "This one is absolutely perfect, and the fact that you brought us together is even better. I wouldn't trade away this pokemon for a thousand shiny applins." You look to the little green apple still in Arven's hand. "No offense, of course."

It yawns.

Arven gives you a bemused and loving, soft eyed smirk. "Ya know...I was gonna offer it to you as, like, a side with your sandwich to be funny? Like, I was going to ask if you wanted any apple to go with your food and then surprise you...and then it all got ruined by the storm."

You place your applin on your shoulder and lean over to peck Arven on the cheek. "That would have been pretty good." You admit.

He shuffles a bit and hugs his knees to his chest. "Sorry it got ruined..."

"Hey..." You lean into him a bit more, pressing your face into the groove of his neck and shoulder and placing a delicate, comforting kiss there. You're vaguely aware that his hair is still kinda wet, but it doesn't bother you. "It's not ruined. Remember what I said about Galar? These little guys are a promise to each other. I'm not going anywhere."

"...You're right..." He says into his knees, and you can hear the smile forming on his lips.

"I know." You reply, entirely too chipper. "You're stuck with me now."

"Pff...Wouldn't have it any other way."

#arven fanfic #arven x reader #trainer arven #arven pokemon #arven #rival arven

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basicallyjaywalker · 22 days

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A Little Too Sweet

First fic is ready! And I'm on time if you just forget yesterday happened /lh

This one is for @crying-over-cartoons aka Grey, I hope you enjoy!

Prompts: Pomatter Pie from Waitress; release, dribble, cluster, single, view, swear, file, crack, despise, decoration; 37

AO3 Link

Fic under the cut!

Cole despised kitchen duty. He learned after years of trying to cook dinner—and failing miserably enough times—that he was not a chef. Somehow, though, he’d ended up here. He couldn’t exactly blame Master Wu for asking him to help out. Thirty-seven pies was a lot of pies. Zane couldn’t do it alone, and Kai, Jay, Nya, and Lloyd were busy setting up decorations and furniture.

If Cole had to be paired with anyone for this job, he was glad it was Zane. First, he actually knew how to bake, something Cole wasn’t sure their other teammates could say. Second, he knew Zane wouldn’t judge him if he screwed up.

They stood in the middle of the kitchen. Cole leaned over the counter, holding a manila folder in his hand. Zane stood beside him, adjusting the tie on the back of his pink apron.

“‘Mrs. Pomatter’s Famous Fair Pie,’” Cole read the title, written in curly black sharpie. It reminded him of the case files the police kept on known criminals in Ninjago City. “Wonder what makes it so famous?”

“It’s won the Ninjago City Fair’s pie contest four years in a row. It’s surprising Master Wu was able to get her to give the recipe to us.”

“It is for a good cause. Raising funds for the new children’s hospital and all…” Cole flipped it open and started reading the recipe. “Crust: first, put dry ingredients in a bowl. One-and-a-fourth cups of flour… two tablespoons of sugar…”

“Tablespoons?” Zane tilted his head. “That seems like a lot.”

Cole shrugged. “Hey, if it’s won the City Fair four years in a row, she's gotta know what she's doing.”

The ingredients were clustered together in front of them, along with bowls and utensils. Zane pulled out the sealed jar labeled “sugar” and a ring of metal measuring spoons. He measured out the tablespoons and Cole noticed the puzzled expression on his face.

“What’s up?”

“It’s just… While I trust you would not lie to me, this much sugar with the amount of flour could mean the crust will come out crunchy. Would you check the recipe one more time?”

“Crunchy?” That made sense, he supposed, like when you make tea and the sugar doesn't fully dissolve. He checked the recipe over again and grimaced. “Ah yeah, it’s teaspoons. My bad.”

“Don’t trouble yourself too much,” as Zane spoke, he poured the excess sugar back into its container. “It’s a common mistake. The two words are remarkably similar.”

And Cole wouldn’t have troubled himself, if it weren’t for the fact that those mistakes continued happening. He would read the recipe—misread it, to be precise—Zane would quickly catch on, ask him to double check, and Cole would realize he’d messed up. The measurements were wrong, or the ingredients, or he’d skipped a step. Once they had it down, though, it went smoother. Zane knew the ingredients, the portions, the steps. Cole just helped by passing over what was needed.

Then it came time to roll the crust out. The last time Cole rolled something out was when he tried making bread rolls that ended up more akin to rocks, so he was more than a little apprehensive. Zane must’ve sensed something as he was making the filling over on the stove, because he came over and noticed Cole standing over the mound of dough, holding a rolling pin, and definitely wearing a dumbfounded look on his face.

“Would you like some help?”

“Uh,” and if he wasn’t before, Cole was sure he was now. “Just a demo, if you don’t mind. Instructions aren’t being very helpful.”

“Of course!” Zane chirped. Cole handed him the pin and Zane set to work. He pinched a generous amount from the flour bag, sprinkling it on top of the counter, then rubbing it on his hands and the pin. “This is to ensure the dough does not stick. Here, would you assist me?” Zane held the rolling pin out to Cole again. He took the free end. Zane tugged him forward, standing behind him. He reached around Cole, placing his hands on the outside of Cole’s on both sides of the pin. “Now we roll.”

Cole tried to ignore the warmth spreading across his face as they guided the pin across the table, flattening the mound into a neat oval. “Wonderful!” Zane’s ever-chipper voice exclaimed before he took his hands away. Cole relaxed, releasing tension he hadn’t realized he was holding. Zane went back to making the filing, leaving Cole to ignore the fact that his heart rate had picked up somewhere along the way.

By the time the crust was done, so was the filling. Zane put the first pie together while Cole rolled out the next batch. Once he finished, Zane started assembling the next pie. Cole let out a breath. Honestly, this was going better than he expected. Plus, Zane’s explanations were actually helping! They only had thirty-five more pies after they finished these two. Speaking of which….

He flicked the switch of the light and viewed the pie through the oven window, only to be faced with the horrifying sight of dark purple filling bubbling up and spilling out. He swore and pulled the pie out, placing it on the top of the oven. Filling dribbled down the side of the ceramic tin, the crust had cracked and split apart, even the decorative slits they placed in the top were lost among the molten filling erupting from beneath its barely browned surface.

Zane examined the monstrous concoction. He tilted his head, his lips pulling into a slight diagonal line. He swiped a bit of the dripping filling from the side and tasted it. Cole glanced away. Shit. I’ve definitely ruined it.

“It appears we forgot to distribute the butter properly in our cover. Shame, the filling tastes rather good.”

Cole stared at him, dumbstruck. Then, he laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Zane asked.

“Nothing, it’s just… you’re so calm about this. We haven’t baked a single pie, our crust is bust, and you’re able to just sit here and… shrug it off.”

“Of course, it isn’t a disaster. We’re ninjas, we’ve handled worse.” As he said this, a smile tugged at the corner of Zane’s mouth. “Besides, this time it was my fault. I should have given the butter more time to chill.”

Cole kept laughing. Zane just smiled.

“Unfortunately,” he said, “I believe this means the pie I’m currently working on will suffer a similar fate. In addition, it will take us another two hours to make more crust. Not only that, but the sale begins in four.”

Master Wu hummed as he passed through the floor of his tea shop, examining each of the centerpieces on the tables, the lights, and the streamers floating down from the ceiling. He reached for one of the floating pie cutouts, pulled on it, then released it, satisfied with how it held. He turned to four of his students, all standing tall with bated breath.

“Well, guess we better start baking.” Cole grinned and held up the pin, cherishing the way Zane chuckled at him.

“I’m impressed. You all have done very well.” He smiled when he saw their tension release. “These decorations are wonderful! As is the lighting, but we are missing one thing.” He glanced around. “Where are Cole and Zane?”

“I think they’re still in the kitchen,” Kai offered. “I’ve been smelling pie all afternoon.”

“And none of it was burnt! Well, not after the first few hours, anyways,” added Jay.

“Still, we need that pie for the sale, the doors will be opening in—” Before Wu could check, Zane and Cole came rushing in, covered in flour and dough and arms laden with pie.

“Ta-da! Thirty-seven perfectly baked pies!”

“And right on time too!” Zane said, placing his neatly on the long table set up next to Steeper Wisdom’s register.

Wu walked over, taking in the enticing smell of berries and buttery crust. “Perfect! I believe we’re in for a rousing success tonight. Thank you all for your help.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Zane. These pies would’ve been a bust without his help.” Cole nudged him.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Zane told him.

“You’re sweet, Zane.” Cole smiled. “Maybe a little too sweet.”

“Doors are opening! To your stations, everyone!” Misako called, getting behind the counter. She glanced at the two, giggling a little. “Cole, you may want to clean up before we begin. I’ll take your apron, Zane.”

Cole rushed to the back, hoping there was a spare uniform back there he could use. As he hurried to get ready before the crowds poured in, he couldn’t help thinking about the smile he swore he saw on Zane’s face.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #cole brookstone #zane julien #glaciershipping #they're so cute they're so fucking cute jesus chrimbles #i've been avoiding tumblr bc of spoilers i return only to give gifts #zane ninjago #cole ninjago #i need to learn to tag also. irrelevant #hope you enjoy the fluff grey!#ninjago fanfiction #ERRATICALLY TAGGED MATERIAL

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akaanonymouth · 7 months

Note

“This is the third meal you’ve missed this week, are you okay?” For the trauma prompt thingy please.

PTSD Mogadishu

Bernie’s recovering; she’s started talking more, they spend time together just sitting and walking, and watching tv, reading, and Serena cooks all the meals. But then Serena realises that Bernie’s made excuses for dinner three times, since she’s been off the hospital regulated meal replacement shakes.

She makes a lot of excuses at first, twists a fork around her plate, sometimes, when she does sit down, which is never for long once she lifts one to her mouth.

Eventually, Serena broaches the subject, when they’re sat on the sofa, Serena having foregone her planned paella and chucked ice cream and bananas in a blender, tried not to watch as Bernie devoured it.

“Sometimes I don’t think about it, because I’m hungry,” Bernie says, and Serena starts. It’s been an hour since Serena wordlessly handed her a milkshake, sat next to her on the sofa and put some mindless background noise on the television. Bernie studies it avidly, as though her Spanish has ever been good enough to follow the dramatics of a telenovela. “But then, when I’m not hungry, I think about it, and it sets it all off again. There’s no rhyme or reason,” Bernie shrugs, setting her empty cup onto the coffee table, still studiously avoiding Serena’s eyes. Serena watches as her fingers start to rub at the skin on her wrists, and it takes all of her will not to close the gap between them and engulf her in her arms. “It’s the texture, I think,” Bernie continues. “Not being hungry, everything aching and the effort it took to move any part of my face when stale bread was forced into my mouth by warm fingers,” Bernie swallows convulsively. “They were smoke stained, dirt stained, rough…large…” she swallows again, her fingers working harder at her wrists. “Being hungry, but only having rice. Dry, don’t even know if it had been cooked, or whether it was just left out. Crunchy. Makes your tongue feel funny when your mouth is already dry and you’re trying to swallow. Hard and dry and it rattles around your mouth that’s already hard and dry, and it’s like teeth, loose broken teeth rattling around your mouth, there’s no water, and the whole feels of it makes my tongue go numb, my brain itch-” Serena notices Bernie’s shift between first and second person, present and past tense, doesn’t quite know if she should intervene yet; it’s the most Bernie’s talked about any of it since they addressed her ribs and facial bruises, and that had rendered her mute for another three days. “And I have to swallow, I have to make myself swallow, got quicker at it, better at it, otherwise they…” she shudders. “I make myself, because if I have no strength when I need it, then I’ll never get out when I get the chance, never get to see Serena again-”

Bernie’s breathing is quickening, she’s started rocking, so Serena leans forward and gently touches one of her hands. “Bernie,” she says, gently, and Bernie starts violently, wide eyes swinging wildly to Serena. Serena keeps eye contact, stroking her wrist gently, until Bernie visibly relaxes, the initial terror leaving her eyes.

“It was always for you, S’rena. Getting out,” she stares intently at Serena for seconds in which Serena hopes understanding and love shines through, before her eyes drop, buried under her fringe as she shrugs and smiles almost scathingly, her gaze now unable to settle. Her fingers scratch at Serena’s, instead of her own wrist. “It’s the textures. The warmth, the sounds in my head, being hungry, not being hungry… I don’t…It’s just…” she huffs, breathes deeply. “Just an awkward bastard I suppose.” She shrugs self-deprecatingly, but Serena refuses to let it go as a flippant conversation.

“Bernie, no, you-”

Bernie pulls her hands away, grabbing at and running them through her hair and over her face. “I can’t even eat a meal with you, Serena!” she cries, voice breaking. “I don’t want your pity, I just want to be able to eat a plate of food with my partner without feeling sick and falling apart!”

Bernie falls apart.

Like grains of dry rice on a fork, Serena tries to hold her together.

When Bernie wakes, mouth and eyes dry and everything else aching, she’s momentarily frozen. Blinking and breathing her way through the fear induced nausea to rationality, the events of the previous evening come back to her. She curls in on herself, ready to block out everything once again, until her eyes land on the bedside table, and a large glass of juice sat on it.

Eventually, she makes her way to the kitchen, blinking in the almost midday sun streaming through the windows and open patio doors. Serena watches her approach, doesn’t move, doesn't even uncross a leg or close the book on her knee, waits until Bernie sits gingerly on the chair opposite her by the table laden with bowls of chopped fruit and some soft, milky looking things Bernie can’t even name.

Serena pushes a mug of coffee towards her. “We’re in Spain,” she says, softly. “But even if we weren’t, wherever we are, you never have to eat dry food ever again.”

Bernie takes a small piece of melon, pushes it between her lips, marvels at the way it melts in her mouth. She lifts her head to the sun, eyes closed. “You just have to keep talking to me,” Serena whispers. Bernie opens her eyes, finally meets Serena’s from under her fringe. Serena reaches her hand across the table. “But it’s alright,” she says, corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiles and Bernie tickles her wrist. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

#replies #fic prompts #berena fic #berena trauma prompts #my fic #Serena winks at the end obviously and Bernie's eyes crinkle and we all know they'll be ok eventually

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nova-dracomon · 1 year

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Vegan Kin Food Ideas

S'up! So, we've been seeing a lot of kin food posts, but the focus is always on meat. Then when vegan or vegetarian options are listed it's like salad + fruit and that's it. We've been vegan for some years now so here's a list of things we eat that we think others might enjoy too!

A piece of advice we found helpful is to think about the food item you miss and break it down into what exactly you miss. If you miss eating gems, is it the appearance? The crunch? Gritty texture or dry taste? In that spirit of that, our list will be largely broken up by texture/experience.

Crunch Crunch Snacks

This includes snacks/sides that get your jaws working or have a satisfying "snap" to them.

Roasted chickpeas

Kale chips

Ants on a log (celery, peanut butter and raisins)

Hummus + baby bell peppers/sugar snap peas/carrots

Granola / cereals (a lot of types are vegan, read the ingredients before purchasing)

Banana chips

Nuts + seeds

Popcorn (avoid "buttery" packages, buy plain or kettle corn)

Peanut butter pretzels (crunchy outside, delicious soft inside)

Smartie candies

Keep your cookies/chocolate bars in the fridge or freezer

Also, load cookies up with extra nuts/seeds/choco chips

Soft, but with some crunch

This section is for dishes/sides that are overall easier on the teeth, but with elements that still crunch or snap. If you're looking for recipes that combine different texture elements check these out.

Lentil nachos + nacho cheese sauce

"Crunchwrap" (quesadilla made with refried beans and homemade cheese sauce that we open and place tortilla chips and lettuce inside after grilling)

Tempeh bacon (we like this on a BLT or grilled cheese sandwich)

Crispy tofu sandwiches

Grilled asparagus

Apple slices with nut butter

Pickles

Apple turnovers

Vegan sushi (there's a ton of recipes, check out these two collections to get started X, X)

Falafel (can be used a hundred different ways, sandwiches, wraps, on it's own, etc.)

Roasted chickpeas again, but with a caveat**: You can roast them at 350 F for 30 mins and they'll be cooked enough to pop between your teeth, but soft in the center. We like to either eat them as-is or top our salads with them. (We season with salt/pepper before going into the oven, nothing else) **Must be eaten after baking, they will not keep

For the foragers in the crowd

These dishes focus more on having either multiple different foods in a visible way or a tactile element to how you eat them.

Chia pudding

Smoothie bowls

Overnight oatmeal

Trail mix

Pumpkin bars (We replace the egg with a flax egg and use vegan butter)

Chocolate chip banana monkey bread

Corn on the cob

Grilled veggie kebabs

Cranberry cilantro quinoa salad

Chili

Bush's beans and rice

Salads topped with sliced fruit, nuts, grains and/or beans

Edamame (a favorite, we love pulling out the insides with our teeth, you can get ones without the pods if they bother you)

Plant-based burgers, the kinds with the chunks of veggies (our favorite is dr. praeger's black bean quinoa burgers)

Chewy Foods

This section is for foods that work your jaw, but more in a "needing to chew" way.

Potato gnocchi

Dried fruit (comes in all different flavors, not just raisins)

Swedish fish, red vines, skittles or sour patch kids

Granola bars (a lot of types are vegan, read the ingredients before purchasing)

Thick bread-y pizza (our favorite dough recipe)

Pancakes

Chewy chocolate chip cookies

Peanut butter cookies

Baked oatmeal

Potato skins

Meat Substitutes

The most obvious way to make a dish vegan is to sub in the appropriate mock meat. We've eaten quite a few and we won't sugar-coat it: a lot of them are either going to match the taste, texture, OR look. It's hard for mock meats to copy meat 1:1, some get way closer than others, but if you go into this expecting no difference you will be disappointed.

Our two favorite brands are Impossible and Gardein. We've tried a lot of their products and have yet to eat one we don't like.

These aren't your only options though!

Beans

Falafel (deep-fried balls of ground chickpea)

Tofu

Tempeh (fermented soybeans)

Seitan (made from wheat gluten)

Jack fruit

You might have guessed based on the recipes shared, but we usually opt for beans. We haven't eaten much seitan or jack fruit, but they are options. At our local grocery stores they're sold in the "free from" section and can be brought pre-seasoned and ready to cook with. Jack fruit in particular is a popular replacement for shredded pork.

The trick with a lot of these is to marinate them. Tofu in particular so you can infuse it with flavor. Here's a few recipes we love:

Lentil and sweet potato loaf ("Neat"loaf)

Marinated tofu

Crispy tofu sandwiches

Tempeh bacon

Chili (our mom's recipe that we modified)

Soft / Squish

For things that are soft or squishy and you can slurp up.

Seaweed salad

miso soup

Pico de Gallo Black Bean Soup

"Nice" cream

Chocolate mousse

Oatmeal

Popsicles

Applesauce

Brownie batter hummus

Chia seed jam

Lavender syrup (to flavor other drinks, we use it in coffee)

Lavender lemonade (final product will be a light brown color)

Mashed potatoes + Gravy

Slow cooker apple cider

Tofu scramble

JUST egg

Non-dairy mac and cheese (our favorite brand is the upton's)

Smoothies (if you're looking for a protein powder to include, we recommend Vega)

**Just a reminder to supplement for B12 if you're consuming a vegan diet. There are some foods that are fortified with it; however, a supplement is cheap, easy to find and all-around a more reliable way to ensure you are getting enough.

#nova squawks #otherkin #otherkind #nonhuman #therian #kin food #otherkin recipes

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hot-take-tournament · 7 months

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HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

SEMI-FINALS #2!

Submission 427

wet bread is good actually

listen to me ok crunchy bread is FINE. i think its too pointy but its FINE. but wet bread??? when you dunk it in water/milk/juice/other liquid of choice? THATS the fucking shit it has the BEST texture. when i was a kid i used to dump a whole loaf in milk and i ate it whole. it was the greatest childhood snack and i will die on this hill

Submission 517

M&ms are too dry

I put them in milk and eat them like cereal so it’s better

I see some of you not voting! That's cheating!

It's ok if you agree with neither take! Just choose the take you agree with slightly more!

Think of it like choosing the lesser of two evils!

Propaganda is always encouraged, and remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

#hot take tournament #tournament poll #tumblr poll #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #unpopular opinion #hot take #cereal #food #cw food #hot take food #candy #m&ms #m&m candy #bread #wet bread #breakfast #hot take greatest hits

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blimbo-buddy · 8 months

Note

Tallstar is Jake's boyfriend but also not. They both felt mutual attraction but they never took the next step so it's not official. They yearned but alas!

Tale I imagine has the similar markings to Tallstar but they're orange and white instead of being a tuxedo.

Tale is an adventurous little guy like his siblings and more interested in the clans than Rusty is if there were possible lol.

Rusty, Matilda, Filou, Tommy, and Luna are great older siblings to Tale and often play near the forest and in the fields.

Tale's favorite snack is Crickets!

The kingdoms have recipes they made.

One of the first things they did learn was that you can boil their kibble into water and soften it into a mush. They created stews and experimented with adding different things.

They recreated some human foods like desserts and bread.

They're evolving at a pace. A slow pace but considered the state they were at during Mapleshade's Vengeance timeline, they're a lot better than before lmao

What are some recipe ideas you have that cats would enjoy and make?

Ah, I see I see. I'd imagine the clans would not like it if one of their leaders was openly with a Kittypet. Man, imagining a scenario where TallStar ends up changing and he's like "Sorry babe but I don't yearn anymore lol I'm a true clan cat" and Jake's standing there cartoonishly clutching flowers trying not to cry.

Also I think that's neat with how Tale looks! I dunno why but I always thought orange and white looked the best with cats, especially if they're a very specific sort of orange. Reminds me of this stray cat who came by often and he was a really cool shade of orange with some white undersides, nick named him Creamsicle. I like Tale's older siblings being great like that and letting his adventuring nature run wild (with proper supervision of course), seems like Tale likes crickets because he found a cricket one time and didn't hesitate to crunch down on it.

Also gotta appreciate some good recipes that would be appealing to cats. Chop up some vegetables and boil in some bones and that's a perfect stew to sip on for when the days and nights start getting colder. The vitamins also help with cats who are sick, number 1 thing that you'd be recommended if you came down with a flu. I'd definitely imagine it took alot of trial and error to figure out what the cats can and can't eat when recreating human cuisines and desserts. They'd probably be shocked that humans don't drop dead from things that can easily kill an animal (Like mint).

I've mentioned them before but I got a few:

The crickets that are becoming a popular snack in Warriorclan/Present day Chelford

Dry cat food mixed with an egg or two, garnished with Rosemary. Simmered over medium heat

A buttery breakfast bun that is mildly sweet. Glazed with a thin layer of honey

Lots and lots of differing kinds of jerky. A nice, tough snack to chew on, helps keep your brain active too so that's a plus

Only ever accessible during winter season (Though there is also the option of stealing from freezers, but that's difficult 90% of the time), meat and fish ice pops for everybody!

For a delicious, crunchy or chewy starting dish: Dried, fried, or boiled bird's feet or rat/mouse tail. Twolegplace cats, like clan cats and outsider cats, value every single part of the prey item

Cooked bones that are cracked open so that the marrow inside can easily be slurped out

It's important to remember that the things that cats may enjoy, we as humans will see as gross. Cats in this case won't make the exact same food as we do, they'll most often than not have their own feline-twist to the dish that also falls in line with what they can and can't ingest. Though, that part's up to you if you want to have the Kittypet Kingdom cats evolve to grow stronger systems and become slightly more immune/unaffected to specific things that may make them fall ill

#blimbo rambles #ask #wc

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mh-and-celiac · 4 months

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My recommendations for GF staples in Australia (likely available in NZ/Aotearoa & some are global brands).

I wrote this out the other day for a GF group I’m in but thought it’d help to share here too. After a year of trail & error, these are most of my favourite gluten free staples for main meals. I really wanted a list like this when I started out gluten free, so hope it helps someone else.

Pasta- San Remo, I really couldn’t stomach anything else. Look for pastas with corn/maize as a main ingredient & rice low in ingredients or not there.

Latina fresh is almost imperceptibly different to gluten too. Thats a fresh pasta. When I was struggling the most with the transition, Latina fresh helped when trying to make a meal made me cry.

Gnocchi- Simply wize.

Bread- buy from your local gluten free bakery. We try to convince ourselves that supermarket bread is fine when it’s not. The fact that no one will eat it not toasted says enough. It’s also safer to freeze as supermarket bread arrives to them frozen & it’s defrosted on the shelves. It also means they risk mould. So you save money that way.

Pizza base - Senza for proper pizza. Bfree mini pita for pita bread bases.

Tortillas- Old El Paso. These are the softest, most flexible & most resilient to tears. They tear less than gluten ones in my experience. They do have the weird gluten free/tapioca smell but when they’re piled with filling you won’t notice. If you’ve tried them before & didn’t like them, try them again. They’ve change their formula in the last year or so apparently.

Noodles- Mr. Chens vermicelli rice noodles, but I’m sure any rice noodle would be fine as they’re naturally gf. If you’re adventurous & want to make your own 2 minute noodles, these would be perfect too because they’re divided up into 5 ‘chunks’ in the packet.

Other bits & pieces;

Crackers - Orgran quinoa wafers. The Ob ones are great too but harder than the orgran ones & I get so fed up with gluten free food being so hard. Simply wise do lots of crackers.

Crumpets - liberate. Check for mould, the supermarket defrosting on the shelf is BS. But these can be refrozen. If you like soft, squishy crumpets with the the back a little crunchy, these are your crumpets. The genius ones as disgusting & hard & crumble. Some people like them, I don’t think we ate the same gluten ones tbh 😂.

Arnotts Tim tams couldn’t have turned out much more perfectly.

Choc chip biscuits is from the ultimate brand at Coles. Also the Coles ‘I’m free from’ bars.

Master foods sweat chilli sauce, the kids one in the orange squeeze bottle.

Aldi do gluten free wedges & bubble & squeak.

V2 meat alternatives are gluten free & great.

Everything from yumi (falafels, veggie balls, veggie burgers (though they need extra sauce, bit dry), dip) is gluten free & great.

Fry family meat free nuggets are gf & good, but nothing else from that brand is gf.

Cc’s & most corn chips (not Doritos), Cheezels, skittles, twirls & flakes are all GF & no ‘may contains’.

My biggest tip starting out is to use the Woolies app. They have a really good filter for gluten free foods. It makes shopping less overwhelming knowing things you can get without scouring every packet in the store. The coles app is rubbish for this, so even if you shop there, try the Woolies app. Each store stocks things the other doesn’t, but it’s a starting point.

Also trust labels. You don’t need to know what all the weird flavours, colours & preservatives are. They will state beside them, if they contain a gluten source. Keep an eye out for barley malt.

#celiac #celiac disease #coeliac #coeliac disease #gluten #allergy #autoimmune #australia #gluten free

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steph-is-asleep · 1 year

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Everyone shut up this is trolls with autism part 2: fav stims/textures

These were getting really long so I may make a part 3 about comfort foods in a separate post

Aradia: obviously, her hair, she loves playing with it, braiding it adding things to it etc, but I bet when she was younger she was a Hair/shirt chewer and idk why but I feel like she'd also just like breaking things. Not smashing, but snapping pasta noodles, brittle bones, or sticks, that sort of thing. She has a chewy necklace, but it's not a tough grade one like Terezi needs. If she doesn't have something MEANT to be chewed, her shirts get holes in them. Also toe walker. Least favorite texture: when your hands have been wet for a really long time and your nails are all dried out

Tavros: he has jewelry that's for stimming, like bracelets with little spinny parts or that you take off and play with, but before that, it was rubber bracelets or hair ties that he'd never even use as intended. He has a fidget spinner and a pop socket too and you could pry them from his cold dead hands. Tavros is also very very good at shuffling cards because he just really likes the noise it makes when they all flutter together. Least favorite texture: course grade sandpaper

Sollux: pen clicking, leg bouncing, he fucks with his piercings even though he knows he's not supposed to. Often he doesn't even realize he's doing it until someone loses their mind at him for it and tells him to stop. Sometimes, if he can, he'll pull up a whole new word document/notepad and just start typing nonsense bc the act of typing on a keyboard or tapping on a screen just feels good. If anyone opened up one of these notepads, they'd just be random descriptions of what's around him or complete gibberish. Also see the link for other Sollux stim headcanons. Least favorite texture: every and all slimes

Karkat: Skin picking, absolutely, especially around his fingers. He copes by painting his nails and picking that off and it's saved his skin forever. But he also loves silicon toys, the little brush ones I mean, and anything meant to be taken apart and put back together, bonus points if it's those ones that make the little pop and click noises when you do so. Karkat also likes pop-its, yeah I said it, someone has to like them. Another link for more karkat (and more Sollux) headcanons Least favorite texture: metal + teeth

Nepeta: she's also a chewer, but she likes very hard things, nothing squishy. It's all bones, wood, plastic that kinda thing, her favorite is straws. She's also a big fan of messy crafts, like finger painting, getting her hands in the mud/shaving cream that kind of thing, she just likes being messy, making a mess but doesn't like cleaning it. Yeah and toe walking. Least favorite texture: tin foil

Kanaya: she doesn't sew AS a stim, but she does sew a really long running stitch, intentionally neglect to tie it off just so she can pull the thread out, insanely soothing to her. Also anything that's meant to be gently tapped against her face, like a makeup sponge or very soft rag is A++ Anything that jingles when she walks (jewelery but also heavily beaded fabrics) are perfect. She also loves running her nails over things, specifically tapping with them. Least favorite texture: burlap

Terezi: we've got another intense chewer. She sits right between aradia and Nepeta. They like hard things, but obviously hard as in crunchy. We knew they eat chalk but also ice, stale bread, that kind of thing, things meant to be eaten and crunchy. She's also the type to just draw all over herself with markers, the wet + cool sensation of markers going over skin is everything. least favorite texture: braille

Vriska: Hair, like moving it around/out of her hair constantly and dice. She plays with them, rolls them when theres no reason to, sometimes chews them but it's pretty rare and the oral fixation is only with dice. Idk what they're called, but the little game with the dice under the plastic dome and you push it and it pops the dice everywhere? Yeah. She also likes ripping/cutting paper a lot and will steal magazines to rip/cut them up. Least favorite texture: cotton balls

Equius: Equius is also a hair stimmer, softly brushing it. I think he *used* to hit himself in stressful situation but because he's so strong, that's obvi not an option anymore (that's why he has the battle bots) but he also just likes breaking things as in destroying them. In humanstuck, I think he regularly visits those places where you're put in a room with a bat just to smash old TV's and shit. Least favorite texture: rusty metal

Gamzee: definitely noise based stimming, his horns, little bells and squeaky toys, but also he loves just...watching wheels spin. Will sit for hours with his unicycle upside down watching the wheel go. Also beaded curtains. I think growing up on the beach, he'd also really like the texture of wet sand, touching it, walking barefoot on it, making imprints of it, that sort of thing. Least favorite texture: bugs with legs

Eridan: Spiny rings spiny rings spiny rings. At least half of his rings spin/click/or make some kind of noise, also just the sound of rings clinking on things is itself a stim. I think he likes those silicon brushes too, but he likes plucking them. Some of his books in his library aren't even meant to be read, he just will sit and turn the pages until he feels better. Idk if this counts a stim but I also think he copes by swimming to the deepest water he can stand and just laying there like a massive weighted blanket. Least favorite texture: wet paper

Feferi: hair, but also she has so many different fabrics in her outfit, they probably all have different textures that she likes touching. Feferi's a fan of squishy stuff, she likes slime, wet foods like puddings and jello. I'm sure they'd have slime that can be submerged in salt water, but above water she loves the very transparent jiggly slime. She also loves fucking with jelly fish and I bet she smacks the bulb on beluga whales for fun. Also assigned toe walker. Least favorite texture: concrete + bare feet

#homestuck #sollux captor #karkat vantas #eridan ampora #headcanons #nepeta leijon #aradia megido #tavros nitram #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #equius zahhak #gamzee makara #feferi piexes

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burgerdudes · 1 year

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🍔 Updated review ━ 📍 Bleecker Burger ★★★★★ • Bleecker Burger currently have four restaurants in central London, and they are stylishly decorated with black accents and a fairly stripped-down look. Don't expect anything fancy. There are a handful of burgers on the menu, along with a few sides and milkshakes. The reason for this is to let the meat itself take centre stage. We've loved Bleecker Burger ever since we first tried them in 2015, and they've also been guests at Stockholm Burger Fest in both 2018 and 2019. They are an essential destination every time we go to London. • During our latest visit we ate every single burger on their menu, and our favourite order is now a double bacon burger with house fries on the side. The meat is absolutely phenomenal, with a deep and heavenly dry-aged beefiness. The meat is often very lightly cooked, but this really enhances the flavours. The soft bun looks very unassuming, but it complements the beef nicely with its flavour, fluffy texture and sesame seeds, and the bacon further elevates the meat flavours with its crunchy saltiness. You don't need much more than that, which is also why the burgers rarely contain much more than meat, bread, cheese and some onions and sauce. Their House Fries with burger dressing are excellent, and we have to give a shout-out to their vegan burger. Nobody leaves Bleecker Burger hungry. • Bleecker Burger offer world-class burgers and is one of the top contenders in London's burger scene. If you love hamburgers, do yourself a favour and give them a try. Thank us later. ━ @bleeckerburger #burger #burgerdudes #london (at Bleecker) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqPjSIJPSkT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#burger #burgerdudes #london

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mrgan · 7 months

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The best home-oven pizza

I like dozens of different pizza styles—sometimes it's nice to mix things up, other times a particular style fits your circumstances best. I most commonly make sourdough pizza, mixed with a stand mixer, fermented in the fridge for a few days, and baked in an Ooni Koda.

But what if I don't have access to a mixer; I want to eat pizza the next day; and it's too wet and windy outside to fire up the Ooni? Thanks to my friend Adam who originally developed this dough recipe, I also have the makings of an incredible indoor-oven pizza in my back pocket. It's bubbly, light, and crunchy.

The best home-oven Pizza

Servings: two 14” pizzas. Time: 3 hours (mix and proof) + 1 to 2 days (fridge-ferment) + 4 hours (final proof) + 10 to 20 minutes (shape, top, and bake)

INGREDIENTS:

400 g white flour (high-gluten, bread-, or all-purpose flour)

20 g (5%) whole wheat or rye flour (or any flour, really)

12 g (3%) salt

.85 g (1/4 tsp, .2%) instant yeast

320 g (76%) water

DIRECTIONS:

Put the flours and the salt into a large mixing bowl. Stir with a spatula or fork to mix evenly. Add the yeast and stir again. Pour in the water and stir with a spatula, scraping down the sides and the bottom of the bowl. After 30-60 s of this, you should have a cohesive, shaggy mass of dough in the middle of the bowl. You're not looking for a smooth ball; you just want to work in all the dry flour. Gently knead this ball for a minute with your hands, folding and turning it to make it just a little more even; it'll still be a bit of a mess, which is fine.

Pick up the dough and spray or wipe a tiny bit of oil into the bowl, then put the dough back in. Cover with a shower cap, a large plate, or a tea towel and let the dough rest in a warm spot (70–74°F?) for 3 hours. Every 30 minutes or so, perform a stretch-and-fold. This video shows the process; it uses a different dough, but the principle is the same.

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Stretching and folding every 30 minutes is ideal, but the timeline is forgiving. Just try to give it at least 3 folds during the 3 hours of proof time. By the end, you should have a fairly smooth and uniform dough.

After the 3 hours are up, cover the bowl again and pop it in the back of the fridge for 1-3 days. If you go past a day and a half, check to make sure the dough isn't overproofing and exploding out of the bowl.

The day you plan to make pizza, remove the dough from the fridge 3-4 hours before baking. (3 hours on a hot day, 4 on a cold one.) Cut into two pieces of the same size and roll each one into a ball.

Note that this is high-hydration dough, so it'll feel pretty loose and lively. Balling it up when cold will make that easier. Here's a video showing how to ball:

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Grab two deep, round bowls or containers and oil them lightly. Place one dough ball in each, smooth side up, and cover. If the containers have well-fitting lids that won't crush the expanding dough, use them. Rest for 3-4 hours as described above.

1 hour before baking, get your home oven ready. Pop a baking stone or baking steel or upside-down pan on a rack 6-8" from the top broiler. Crank it up to 550ºF (or however high your oven goes) and leave it there.

To stretch the dough: hold the container upside down and wiggle the dough out of it gently; dont worry about whether it stays a perfect ball. Place it directly into a shallow, wide bowl of flour, and make sure the wet end and the sides get some flour (not too much) on them. Place the dough ball on your wooden peel with the dry (previously the top) side down and press gently around the inside of the rim to make a little ringed pizza-prototype. Drape the disc over your knuckles, then rotate around gently, letting gravity droop the dough to grow it. There should be no need to tug and stretch it with your fingers. Here's a video again:

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My topping strategy for a standard cheese pizza: layer the dough with sliced mozzarella cheese, then add dabs of sauce, then your toppings (including torn fresh mozzarella). Now gently tug under the rim all around to stretch to 14″; the weight of the toppings will help prevent pullback.

Redistribute the toppings if needed. Shimmy again. Expertly slide onto the steel/stone/pan in the oven.

Once the pizza is in, set a timer for 3 minutes. Then, open the oven door and check the underside of your pizza. Rotate the pizza 180º to get even baking from back to front. Set a timer for another 3 minutes. During that time, rotate the pie 90º every 30 seconds or so. If it looks done after the total 6 minutes of bake time, pull it out; it might still need 1-2 minutes more.

You may need to shift between "bake" (bottom heat) and "broil" modes of your oven. Every oven is different, so use your judgment, checking to see if it's the top or the bottom of your pie that need more heat.

When the pizza is gorgeous, slide it out with a metal pizza peel or a large flat spatula or a cookie sheet or whatever. (Don’t use your wooden peel—that’s for shaping and launching only.) Rest it on a cooling rack for 1-2 minutes to dry out the bottom. Then move to a cutting board or plate and slice. (Please don't slice on your wooden peel.)

Since we're making two pizzas with this recipe, you'll need to repeat the process now. It's best to give your baking surface 5-7 minutes to recover the lost heat; don't forget to set it bake to "bake" mode during this time.

And there you go—tremendous pizza, made in your regular-ass home oven. It's possible, and it's delicious.

P.S. I have a bunch more pizza recipes on my website. Even if you don't plan to make any of the other styles, they could be instructive, as every recipe has helpful steps and notes of its own.

#pizza #homemade #recipe

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nbula-rising · 4 months

Text

Cinnamon Crunch Bagel Loaf Prep time: 15 MINUTES, PLUS 1 HOUR 30 MINUTES FOR RISING cook time: 50 MINUTES total time: 2 HOURS 35 MINUTES, MOST OF THIS IS INACTIVE TIME yields: 1 (9x5 Inch) BAGEL LOAF

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups warm water 2 teaspoons active dry yeast 2 tablespoons honey 2 cups bread flour* 1 1/3 cups white whole wheat flour 2 teaspoons cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2-4 ounces white chocolate, shredded 1 teaspoon baking soda, for boiling 1 teaspoon malt syrup or brown sugar, for boiling

Cinnamon Crunch Topping 1 egg, beaten 3/4 cup brown sugar 3 tablespoons cinnamon 1 teaspoon vanilla 4 tablespoons butter, melted

Instructions

In the bowl of your electric mixer** fitted with a dough hook, combine water, yeast and honey, stir to combine, then let sit until foamy, about 10 minutes. Once foamy, gradually add the bread flour, white whole wheat flour, cinnamon and salt with the mixer on low speed. After 5 minutes or so, if the dough is still sticky, add 1/4 cup more bread flour at a time until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Knead for 3 minutes longer and then knead in the white chocolate until evenly distributed. Remove the dough from the bowl and knead a few times with your hands, forming it into a ball. Brush a large bowl with oil. Place the dough inside, turning to coat. Cover the bowl with a wet towel or plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise in a warm place until doubled in size – about 1 hour. Once doubled, punch down the dough and place on your counter, using a little more flour if needed to prevent from sticking. Divide dough into 5 balls. Cover and the balls and let sit 30 minutes. Grease a large bread tin (mine was 9x5 inches) and preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the baking soda and malt syrup. Carefully drop one dough ball at time into the boiling water. Boil 1 minute, flip and boil another minute and then remove from the water with a slotted spoon. Place the dough in the prepared bread pan. Repeat with the remaining dough balls, lining them up against each other in the bread tin as you go. In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar, cinnamon and vanilla for the topping. Once all the dough balls have been boiled and are in the bread tin, brush the tops, and all down the cracks and sides of the loaf, with a beaten egg. Sprinkle the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture over top. You may not need to use all the mix. Try to leave clumps of sugar, to create nice big crunchy chunks. Drizzle the loaf with the melted butter, mounding some of the sugar mixture together to help create better cinnamon sugar clusters. Bake 35-40 minutes or until the top of the loaf is dark golden brown. If the top starts burning before the loaf is finished cooking, cover the top with foil. Remove the loaf from the oven and leave to cool in the tin for about 5 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack. Allow to cool completely before slicing…or try to anyway…right. *you may use regular flour, but your loaf will be a bit denser.

**You can also make this recipe without a stand mixer. Just knead the dough with your hands for about 5 to 10 minutes.

#recipe #bread

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panzershrike-pretz · 3 months

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Hello mon amie!! I was interested, what’s some things you love about your country and culture?!

HEY LOUUUUUU!!! SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 2 MONTHS TO REMEMBER THIS!!! TIME TO YELL ABOUT BRAZIL!!

This will be long so have a read more

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- Food

A thing I notice whenever a gringo comes here id how they seem to love our food! We're very set on a good meal (normally rice, beans, meat and some sort of salad, It's a very common thing to find on the table of any brazilian at lunch or dinner), but we also have some more region specific foods! And we are damn PROUD of our stuff!

I LOVE FOOD! AND ABOVE ALL, THESE ONES! In order, they are: coxinha, pastel, pamonha, brigadeiro, pão de queijo, beijinho, feijoada, farofa e churrasco! Lemme talk a bit about them:

- Coxinha -> it's made out of shredded chicken amd enveloped into a dough, then fried and I SWEAR this is the best thing ever! When I was small, my aunt owned a food place and after I helped her around, she'd pay me with coxinhas xD it was lovely

- Pastel -> similarly to the coxinha, it's a tasty interior made out of whatever you want (can be cheese, any meat, veggies, fish or even chocolate and fruits!) and a crust. It's crunchy and I love it! You can buy the crust pretty much in any market (or make it at home) and then fill it up with whatever you want! After that, it's just fry and enjoy!

- Pamonha -> it's a boiled paste made out of corn and apparently coconut milk! It's enveloped on the corn's own husk and it can be sweet or not! One day, my auntas came together to make a GIANT batch of pamonha and I swear it was one of the cooles experiences ever! Pamonha is also a thing we use to call dumb people, tho xD

- Brigadeiro -> AUDHBRJWJW I LOVE IT!!! It's prettymuch homemade (you'll need butter, condensed milk and cocoa powder, then sprinkled chocolate to cover it up if you want!). It's sweet and good and normally can be seen in any birthday party (it's victim of the biggest trafficking scheme in the world called Hungry Children, and it's highly effective until an adult gets you sneaking brigadeiro from the food table at the party. I was a big trafficker).

- Pão de Queijo -> THE beloced cheese bread! I have no clue how it'sz made but I know it's fucking amazing, i'll tell you that!!

- Beijinho -> the name translates to little kiss!! It's like the brigadeiro, also a birthday party sweet, made out of condenses milk, grated coconut and rolled over either sugar or coconut! It's less sweet than brigadeiro but just as good! Sometimes, it's topped off with a clove, too, but you don't need to eat that xD

- Feijoada -> a stew of beans with beef and/or pork (sometimes veggies as well), served with farofa (more on this one down bellow), rice and other stuff.

- Farofa -> tasty sand. Litterally. It's made from toasted cassava. It can be found in any narket but also can be made at home! (My mom makes the best one with bacon 😭). It's not meant to be eaten alone as it's salty and fucking hard to swallow without something kind of moist!! It can be used alongside the feijoada, churrasco or even on your normal sunday family lunch siting common beans and rice!

- Churrasco -> I don't care if other countries have barbecue as well, nothing will ever top off south-brazilian bbq!! It's meat and garlic bread and it's ducking amazing????? Any kind of beef, sausages (either pig or chicken), chicken wings, chicken hearts, sometimes veggies, garlic bread! All of tgis. Together. IT'S THE BEST THING!!! My family has these almost every weekend and I love it so much! Now add lemonade?????? THE MEAT IS SO WELL SEASONED AS WELL LIKE!! GARLIC, ONION, A LOT OF STUFF THAT GIVES IT SUCH A GOOD TASTE AND IT NEVER IS DRY!!

This was me going crazy over my favorite foods :3 obviously there are others like acarajé, açaí and a lot of other stuff from the upper states, but I never had them so I can't give an opinion xD

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- Language

I'm entireky convinced that the brazilian portuguese is the best portuguese and funniest fucking language I ever saw. Maybe because is the only other one I speak but who knows KAKSKSKSK

I like our words. Compared to english and some other languages, I feel like portuguese is more soft spoken? I may be crazy but like... i get the vibe of that.

Our sayings are lovely and funny, especially when you're watching foreign movies with the brazilian dub (God bless Surf's Up). Here are some pf my favorite sayings and sounds and whatever!

- "Bah" -> common here on the south, can be used for pretty much anything, even as punctuation. It can mean whatever your heart desires depending on context (Bah...; bah.; bah???; BAH!; bah, [...]; I promise all of these mean different things and there's more that can only be use when soeaking irl xD). I use the bah all the time and I'm sure you saw it KSKSSKKS

- "Hit it waith a dead cat 'till it meows" -> I dare you to find a better way to say you're gonna shove some sense into a person. There isn't. This is my fave saying

- "Pila" -> our currency is called real (good ol' R$). But fuck me if you'll see a brazilian saying "i've got 10 reais". You'll see us saying "I've got 10 pila" (or "10 pau", can be that too. Pau can mean either wood or dick tho so use at your own risk. I laugh everytime I see the word pau :D)

- "Shove a set of teeth up your ass and smile to a dick" -> I think nothing needs to be said here, right?

- "To make the asshole fall from your ass" -> when something is unbelievable, I think. I love it :3 (de cair o cu da bunda, in portuguese)

- "É foda..." -> don't know how to answer anything? É foda... "Fulano, my friend got into a car accident!", "...é foda...".

AND WHILE ON LANGUAGE! Accents!!! I love accents and I think my favorite is the accent from Nordeste (or at least Ceará), tho I absolutely love our South accent (especially Rio Grande do Sul).

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- Fauna

Surprise surprise! I like animals!! I bet ya didn't know 'bout that one, did you?????? I don't think so!

In order: southern-lapwing (quero-quero), toucan (tucano), harpy eagle (harpia), sunbittern (pavãozinho-do-pará), potoo (urutau), brazilian tanager (tiê-sangue), oven-bird (João-de-barro), caracara (carcará), jabiru (tuiuiú).

DID YOU KNOW, the Harpy eagle is the largest species of eagle? Their talons can go from 8.6 to 12.3 cm (3.4 to 4.8 inches). They grab sloths out of trees like they weight nothing. Their paws are the hugest fucking thing???????? Fucking scary

Yes the lapwing has claws on its wings. Yes they are extremely agressive and territorial. Yes you SHOULD fear them.

In order: golden lion tamarin (mico-leão-dourado), tapir (anta), giant-anteater (tamanduá-bandeira), maned wolf (lobo-guará), bush-dog (cachorro-do-mato), ring-tailed coati (coati), jaguar (onça-pintada), marsh deer (cervo-do-pantanal), giant river otter (ariranha)

OK I NEED TO TALK A BIT ABOUT THEM!! You gave me the chance >:3

So you know the jaguar??? Good ol' big fucking cat? Yeah that bitch hunts crocodiles. They fucking love swimming and climbing. And do you know how those bitches kill crocs??? Giant fucking bite on their brains. Those FUCKERS kill CROCODILES with a bite ON THEIR HEADS

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LOOK AT THIS???? ONE BITE. ONE. FUCKING. BITE. AND THE CROC IS DEAD.

Anyway wanna know about the ariranhas too? THEY SQUARE UP TO THE JAGUAR. THE SAME THING THAT KILLS ON A HEAD BITE. AND THEY'RE AGGRESSIVE TOO????? THEY CAN AND WILL ATTACK CROCODILES AND HUMANS IF NEEDED. THEY EAT PIRANHAS. THEY ARE SCARY.

Look at that face and tell me it doesn't look like a demon, I dare you.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SQUARES UP TO THE JAGUAR????? THAT ANTEATER. THEY OPEN THEIR ARMS LIKE RHE REDEMER AND PEI. FUCKING SLAPPED WITH GIANT CLAWS. Brazilian animals are a menace, lucky they live far from me <3 (i love them sooo muchhhhahrjqishsj)

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- The Views

Especially nature, man... this country us so unbelievably pretty. The beaches, the forests, the cities, everything... i love it so damn much. And it's not only Rio de Janeiro. In fact, there are much better, prettier and safer places.

In order: Blumenau (SC), Praia do Rosa (SC), Salvador (BH), Fortaleza (CE), Monte Roraima (RR), Floresta Amazônica, Gramado (RS), Tiradentes (MG), Caatinga

Look at all of this... omg those places are fucking amazing!!

Did you know the caatinga exists only in Brazil? Yep! We're original xD

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- Folklore

NOW I LOVE THIS!! SO MUCH!!!!!! FUCK!! WE HAVE SO MANY LEGENDS AND FOLKLORIC CREATURES! I'll talk a bit about them!

- Cuca -> A witch with the head of a crocodile known gor kidnapping kids! Shess became famous thanks to Monteiro Lobato, in a book (and went on to be the villain in a kid's show called Sítio do Pica-pau Amarelo. She's sometimes compared to the bicho-papão (same vibe of kidnapping and eating misbehaving kids).

- Boto-cor-de-rosa -> I already talked about this one but it's always fun to bring him up again! Legends says that at night, an extremely seductive man comes out of the waters to sleep with young girls. By the morning he flees,leaving them pregnant. Yeah, he's an amazonian river dolphin. It's a story told when girls appeared pregnant and din't want to tell the truth.

- rasga-mortalha -> rasga-mortalha (a.k.a. barn-owl) is a pretty common legend that says that when the owl flies over someone's house, someone there will soon die. She got the name rasga-mortalha because when she emits her sound, it's like when you rip that thing used to cover dead people on funerals (mortalha).

- Mula-sem-cabeça -> the headless mule is a popular one as well! It's a common mule but, in place of it's head, it has flames. One of the legends behind her is that if a woman had sexual relations with a priest, she'd be cursed and turned into the monster. When I was a kid, a common game was to race and say that the last one would be the priest's wife, meaning you'd turn into a headless mule.

- Boitatá -> a giant serpent of fire who protects the forest and it's animals against people that treat them badly. Some legends say that whoever looks at a boitatá turns blind and goes insane.

- Curupira -> a small boy with fiery red hair and feet turned backwards! They are protectors of the forests and some native people said they went after anyone who went inside a forest to hunt or deforest. Some even used to left gifts for the curupira in order to freely hunt!

- Caipora -> sometimes confused with thes corupira, the caipora is a mischievous animal protector who'd go after hunters who didn't respect the rules of hunting fairly (who took more than needed).

- Saci -> a black and mischievous boy with only one leg, that smokes a pipe and weaars a red hat that gives him magical powers. He's a playful boy that does pranks on people and their animals, like: braiding animal's fur at night, hide objects, change the salt and sugar pots, distract women so they burn the food and those kinds of things! He's also a guardian of medicinal herbs and confounds people that tryvto take them without his blessing. They can also moove in a tornado.

Those are only some of the brazilian legends, and I find them extremely cool! Obviously there are many others, but these ones are the most common and loved!

#I'M SO SORRY THIS GOT ENORMOUS SO I BEST SHUT UP AKAKAKAKKA #folklore #brazilian fauna #brazilian folklore #brazil #🥨🪶#pretz ask

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