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scrollypoly · 8 months

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hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?

Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3

"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG

Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!

In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem

Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.

You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??

Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(

Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)

Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:

https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page

Okay now my stuff 🥰

Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭

My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇

And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡

These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!

As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.

The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.

Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.

Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.

While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.

Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.

Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.

Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.

As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.

The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.

Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.

Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.

Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.

This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.

Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.

Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.

Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.

Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.

And this leads into my fic 🤗

I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏

Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol

I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it

#ben drowned #ben drowned arg #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #moon children #rosa hubris #matt hubris #behavioral event network #duskworld23 #my posts #my writing #scb stuff

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reneesbooks · 8 months

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Damn I really feel you on that one Stephanie Meyer book with the parasitic aliens, like that premise was so interesting, why did she have to focus on the stupid love triangle?!

ok here’s the thing. i could fix her

edit: i'm putting this post under a cut bc it got SO LONG lmao. read at your own risk it's messy and obsessive and a bit unhinged

the movie got so close in some ways and fucking missed in so many others. on the one hand, ian in the movie was imo a lot more likeable than he was in the book. I’m attributing this to less dialogue written directly by stephanie meyer and the actor's face. on the other hand. jared was awful. movie did not fix him even a bit. only thing they fixed was the age gap but not even that was explicitly addressed in the movie. it was just assumed bc the actors looked similarly aged

I should mention at this point that I haven’t actually read the book in a few years but I read it so many times at age 13-14 that it was an intensely formative experience despite being a generally terrible book. I could still probably quote entire passages from memory. I’ve seen the movie definitely more than 50 times, including in theaters w my mom the week it came out. I watched it last week just for something to play in the background while I crocheted. I can and will 1000% quote along with the movie. fucking brain parasite book got me I guess

the book delves so deeply into the genuinely fascinating world building that tbh has influenced me to this day in terms of depth and creativity. that’s where the movie set itself up to fail bc the ONLY redeeming quality of the book was the world building. its perfect for a tv show so that there is time to explore what it’s like for Melanie to live among the souls instead of focusing exclusively on wanderers time among the humans.

ok the love triangle. here's the thing. it didn't have to be Like That. BUT. i remember my edition when i was younger (that has since disappeared but i have a new one on the way bc i miss my stupid parasite book) had a bonus chapter or smth from melanie's perspective after she wakes up without wanderer in her head for the first time and runs into ian and they both have this moment where they reach for each other and there is that moment of horror on ian's part when he realizes that she is not wanda and melanie being so used to wanda reaching for him that she doesn't realize that her body is doing it automatically. and it was just so interesting to think about how that duality affected them and i think the movie kind of tried to do that with the conversation that ian and wanda have on the cliffs but it just didn't make it happen in the right way. so like. having the love stories there are important for why wanda is even willing to learn to be human but the focus on them in the movie and its general failure to properly execute the most interesting parts of them are what kneecapped it imo.

anyway getting back to why despite that the love triangle is literally the least interesting part of this book. starting with the thing that drives me the most up the wall. the fact that the movie didn't include walt at all and glossed over wes's death makes me chew drywall bc that plotline made me SOB. wanda's time sitting at walt's bedside and comforting him through his illness is one of the things that really teaches her about the gentleness of humanity despite their perceived cruelty, and what makes much of the humans actually start to trust her. they see how she treats walt and realize that she has a huge heart and capacity for kindness. so when jared gets mad bc the seeker looking for her has caused problems, and she has the whole compound backing her up anyway, it actually has some weight to it. the movie flattened wanda and her relationships to the others so much it's so disappointing!! she feels grief in a way that's different from how she's ever experienced it before, despite knowing and understanding grief from her previous lives. she is devastated and forever changed by walt's death, and similarly by wes's. i don't remember exactly if he had a partner in the book but i think he did so wanda also had that experience of seeing his death devastate someone else so completely (and for her to be able to connect that to how jared feels about her being in melanie's body). so when she asks doc to let her die at the end, it's go so much more significance because she specifically asks to be buried WITH walt and wes!! she finds peace with death and understands it and wants to be with the people who taught her about grief and love and that just. i'm so unhinged about it. and it wasn't in the movie. chewing drywall.

this isn't like. a big thing. but it's forever a little disappointing to me that it wasn't in the movie either. bc the movie went a more "ethereal being made of light" direction for what the souls' actual bodies look like instead of the book's "segmented body with thin tendrils that attach to the brain of the host" description. this matters to me for a sad reason and a funny one. the sad reason is because when wanda sees the souls that the humans tried to cut out, she notes based on the vestigial feelers of one of the dead souls that it was a baby. horrible and sad detail that makes that scene 100 times worse. the funny reason is because since the humans know what the souls look like for the above sad reason, they refer to them as worms. which essentially leads to them calling ian a worm fucker and that's hilarious on a lot of levels the least of which being that it's true. like while melanie and jared and jamie go looking for a new body for wanda he literally doesn't care what it looks like and just sits holding her containment tank the entire time. worm fucker and proud of it good for him

i could write a whole other essay on the worldbuilding but i don't have my copy yet (and all the library copies are checked out who ARE y'all who else has read this book???) and i can't remember enough of it to really get into it. but wanderer's job was to be a teacher because she'd been to almost all the different planets (hence her name) so there were some glimpses of the fascinating universe of this world. the stories that she tells about the other planets?? unparalleled. wanderer tells this story about an ethical dilemma (among parasitic aliens lmao) because their host species on one planet burns another alive for its food source BUT they had recently discovered that the food source species was also sapient and intelligent so they were trying to figure out a way to handle the situation. that entire thing could be more interesting than the love triangle but instead it was like. a maximum of two pages about that planet and a one-off appearance from another soul that used to live there at the very end of the book. wanda tells the people at the compound about the underwater planet, and the one with the giant blind flying creatures that they call the Bats, and she mourns using the ritual from that species after the whole seeing the corpses incident. all of this gone completely to waste and for what!! for what stephanie!!!

another funny thing that i think might be better left in the book--when they take the seeker out in the book the human that was in there in the first place is so nasty and awful that everyone is lowkey mad at wanda for not just letting them kill her. top tier comedy ngl

ugh i also remember a scene where wanda is going on the long supply trips and sees a couple of souls with a human child who isn't occupied and is like. huh. that could be really indicative of a beautiful direction for humanity to go. could souls and humans live in peace in a real way? and then it's never really addressed again bc sexy feelings about two men oohhhh

so. is she fixable?

yes. i could fix her. a tv adaptation is what she needs. bc then there's actually time to delve into the thoughts and feelings of melanie and wanderer (and you could do that really well if you made a visualization of their shared mindspace--the book talks about how they put up walls against each other, and how they can block each other out or grab at control) as well as the worldbuilding and ethical questions. i have a whole three-season plan for fixing her so buckle up.

season one starts with wanderer waking up in melanie's body and the first half explores their time as a uni professor and the seeker's insistence on trying to find the human resistance through melanie's memories. this is where we really get a chance to see wanda's perspective--not because she's right, but because it's interesting. she is a huge pacifist and is horrified by violence, whereas melanie is used to using violence to get what she needs and tends to jump directly to it as a solution. so before they run off to the desert, when the seeker is still constantly checking up on her, as wanda gets more annoyed, melanie keeps suggesting that they kill her, and wanda has a harder and harder time holding her back. finally at the midpoint, wanda snaps and attacks the seeker, not because melanie made her do it, but because she's finally reaching that point in her journey towards humanity. and of course everybody blames it on melanie and they have to run because they're going to be separated.

then the second half of the season starts with the wandering through the desert. btw. book jeb my beloved. unhinged grandpa didn't get to be nearly as unhinged in the movie. the second half of the season is wanda acclimating to the human environment. i am of the opinion that romance should not happen until the second season at LEAST. obv melanie is pining for jared and wanda is dealing w that but it's not a romance. she doesn't love jared she's just comforting her dramatic roommate. maybe ian is starting to show interest in wanda but she hasn't noticed yet because she's still getting used to being human. season one ends with walt's death, since that's one of wanda's biggest turning points.

so season two opens with wanda understanding humanity a little better. and now she notices that ian likes her. melanie rightfully puts up a fuss about this (because it's her fucking body, steph meyer why did you almost make a convincing bodily autonomy argument and then fall short you almost had it--) and we can have that drama still while setting it up against the backdrop of wanda's journey to understanding humanity and ultimately becoming human herself. this is the first half of the season, and then there is the turning point--discovering that they've been trying to cut out the souls even as she lives among them. this is her major fracture with ian and is when she realizes that she can actually push melanie out of her head entirely and has to scramble to get her back. season midpoint cliffhanger is melanie being gone. and that finally brings jared around about her when he sees how hard she works to get melanie back and help jamie. so the second half of the season starts with healing jamie and how jared being ok with her changes the dynamic. now she's going out on raids, seeing how humanity and souls can live together, starting to come around to being in love with ian maybe, and generally settling into a comfortable existence. and this is when the seeker comes back into the picture at the end of season two, killing wes and being captured by the humans.

and season three. where it all comes together. the seeker represents the biggest obstacle to humanity and souls living in harmony--she is a mirror and a foil to wanda and melanie, two people too stubborn to let the other take over, unable to coexist. when she's captured by the humans, they want to kill her and her host, forcing wanda to come face-to-face with what she hasn't wanted to admit--she has to tell the humans how to remove a soul from a body. and in doing so she has to admit that she's been selfish and cruel by not telling them before. because by now they've more than proven that they can accept her kind under the right circumstances. so she's able to lay that out with the seeker and the first half of the season shows them starting to do it--to take souls out of humans and send them to different planets. the book does so many interesting things with this, showing how some people come back right away, some come back very slowly, some don't come back at all. there's a lot of material to work with (looking at you jodi and kyle and sunny) but eventually we get to the midpoint which is wanda asking doc to remove her and bury her with wes and walt. and then he does.

so the second half of the third season begins with melanie alone. and for the first time ever we don't hear from wanda at all. because she's in a cryotank and unable to have thoughts. so now we have what didn't get a chance to be really explored by the book--the aftermath of wanda's removal and the ethical debate of violating her wishes to put her in another body as well as the fact that when they do put her in one, it's one of the people who never woke up. it starts to get fuzzy here bc there's less original material to work with (and what is there is...not great the body they find for wanda is a 17 year old and ian is like 27 throwing up) and because there are so many directions to go after the book ends-- they find other human groups like they do in the book that also have a soul like her living among them, they try to work with the soul government to reach an agreement for peace, etc etc etc--and they're all so interesting! but the book ends because the love triangle has been resolved and it just doesn't address any of that. shaking steph by the shoulders and screaming

anyway the point of all of this is that this book and movie have been living rent free in my head for over a decade and i would simply like to make the good version of it that lives in my head real.

tldr i could fix her. steph meyer wya.

#listen i could fix her. i could fiX HER--#if i had the money and time i would be breaking down steph meyer's door begging her to let me do this. it's such a passion project for me #indie tv companies willing to work w the unions hit me up bc i'm not a scab <3 #the host #the host (2013)#rb original

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bunnyinthestars · 3 years

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Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

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candyrumm · 3 years

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Trollhunters Rise of the Titans…

I loved the Gun Robot vs Volcano Titan scene. Many other things too but were here to question and criticize it - especially the ending.

Alrighty I’ll try to paraphrase ( ha not) my opinion and points - a few are ones that i read and overall agreed upon other I haven’t yet seen other people mention.

So what now? Does he still have the stone? If he went back in time to reset everything wouldn’t that reset the time stone to where it was before?

Disappointed that the canon made the canon an AU. Like everything we knew is gone. Its the ‘it was all a dream’ dream turned reality approach.

Wa ca cha ka im happy it wasn’t an interactive movie, cause i like to have a definite answer or know exactly what happened rather what could have been. Its also easy to lie back and watch the movie unfold. Batman: Death in the Family, is interactive movie where you see many possible ways things could have happened. However the non-interactive version of the film is just a narrated version of Under the Red Hood by Bruce. And you don’t get the possible events that would have happen cause its really a ‘what if’ movie. However i feel like that many possibilities of what could have happen was what they may have been going for. But i like to imagine that the story could have also ended with Toby’s death and no time traveling. But also with the new reality, could they have at least shown us a flash forward perhaps of what the world came to be? Like an older jim telling his nephews about how he lived the future where he is the trollhunter or at least something. Can the truth set him free???

What if Jim dies and Toby tries to start it all over to save him?

I luv Draal, he was probably my favorite character from the start. But even I let him go. He was willing to die for the cause. It was great knowing him. And the death was like… wholesome? I cant find the right word but like it didn’t feel rushed or careless when he died. I wished he hadn’t but … was at peace with it? When Nomora died, yeah i was like ‘wat nooo’ but we were gonna lose characters along the way. They are fighting a war.

And honestly a nice lesson could have been to learn to let go and not regret and to not dwell on the past. To move forward into your future, not redo the whole damn thing again. And even if he did have to go back in time, did it really have to be all the way back?

Did Toby really have to be trollhunter? Like did the amulet make a mistake in the first place for choosing jim?

Or was it like it knew jim would go back and let Toby his best friend be trollhunters and with jim the mostly all knowing would then be able to set things right in a way that not many die?

Can it remember things?

What if he reseted things and now while he gets a good life someone else doesn’t????

Was jim tired of being trollhunter and figured though he has like years of experience on what is like to be trollhunter decided that, that grueling experience is what his best friend would want. In the beginning of the show Toby was like nah, I’m not looking for adventure. Later on Toby asked Jim whether or not the amulet gave him the excitement he was looking for. Jim reply no it was toby. MaYbE this is what he was going for? If thats the case could he have not just have had a kid? Or some career change? Did he think he couldn’t have a good life without toby? He left him in Arcadia at the end of trollhunters. He could have made some sorta memorial for Toby (edit: oh and maybe the god/desses like the ones who fell in the park) and saying that it was because of him that he got to make the striking blow on the last deity who wanted to rebirth earth.

Wasn’t there a lesson when toby was saying how its ok that his parents died and that he likes to think that they are the reason so many good things in his life happen? Guess jim doesn’t want to apply that same mindset that Toby had to Toby.

The trollhunter seemed to be marked as the leader (in the beginning.) So wouldn’t it be easier for jim to be leader since he knows what will happened. (edit: Will many even believe him about how he time traveled.) And then be able to guide others. Like where the Bridge is. He can be there sooner. Or is he planning to go under the radar since how the spotlight isn’t on him?

(The following is mostly copy and pasted from a commented repost of mine. I still wrote it, just copied it from where i had originally posted it to and added a few tweaks and points.)

Is jim even the sorta person that would let his best friend go through what he did? Dying at one point. Risking the safety of loved ones? Running and climbing extensively? Toby doesn’t have the chef skills Jim did, is there ever a fight for when they enter trollmarket? Does he now know trollish and could impress Vendal on how he knows to much? Would he confess that he went through and a timeline (his original timeline?) where he was the trollhunter and therefore is skilled in many aspects of trollhunting?

They didn’t find it together, sure Jim may be there to guide and advice Toby and the others but the thing the two of them had going on was that they found it together, they were in this(that) together. Now its not that.

Plus, sure maybe Jim matured so now he’s willing to bring people in for help and support and such. Unlike he was in the beginning where tried to protect everyone by not having them involved or really you know in the field. For example, when he tried to keep his mother from the whole dealio, or when he went into the darklands alone. Later I think he did say that he’s not stupid enough to go at it alone and that they are stronger together. But ughhhh Jim and Toby now aren’t together at the start.

And we didn’t really get closure for the Tales of Arcadia franchise thing. The end is more like an alternate beginning. In my opinion. But Guillermo del Toro, ‘creator’ of the franchise - i think - tweeted how the ROTT movie would be the final chapter/ending of tales of aracdia. Ughhh was that what he was going for? To end it and everyone’s pedestal for it?

(stops here)

I could just pretend they didn’t travel back in time. As far as im aware - all the merchandise is for the previous canon. Most of the merch was for trollhunters and not 3below or wizards. And since trollhunters is my favorite out of the three, im ok with that. Wizards sit at #2 for me. Though i luv Queenie Aja in the movie.

Am I missing anything? I dunno. My thoughts are a mess.

edit: IT WAS BASICALLY AN EFFING REBOOT, not earth rebirth but canon rebirth.

Well its canon to have the canon not be directly canon. And not canon but it’s still canon. Confusion…

Like does dreamworks not know how a population of people automatically feel about reboots and remakes WA CA CHA KA there was no heal time. no time to let the fairy dust of our beloved story settle, marinate under the rug, nope. Reboot will began in 3, 2, 1...

Not trying to hate on the movie or creators (hoping u didn't read the whole thing with a negative tone heh heh) i just wanted to express some thoughts I had on the movie. Didn’t hate the movie and the entirely of the choices made during its production obviously, just questioning what could’ve happen after or what could have been.

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emma-what-son · 3 years

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(Echee post) Emma Watson criticises 'dangerously unhealthy' pressure on young women

Posted on March 30 2014

From theguardian.com March 2014 Emma Watson has criticised the "dangerously unhealthy" image projected by the fashion industry and said the pressure to look perfect has taken its toll on her. The actor has also described her doomed attempts to merge into the background as a student at an American university, where she found herself being trailed everywhere by British photographers. After the recent New York premiere of Noah, she tweeted a photograph of the array of cosmetics – and a guardian angel pin – that she said were essential aids to her flawless appearance, and another of herself in a backless dress captioned: "I did NOT wake up like this." The actress said she is better at taking criticism these days than she once was. "As a younger woman, that pressure got me down, but I've made my peace with it. With airbrushing and digital manipulation, fashion can project an unobtainable image that's dangerously unhealthy. I'm excited about the ageing process. I'm more interested in women who aren't perfect. They're more compelling." Watson became famous playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies and has been constantly in work since. She is about to start filming a thriller, Regression, by Alejandro Amenábar and is also trying to complete her degree at Brown University, Rhode Island. She enrolled in 2009 for what would have been a four year course, but has taken several breaks for film work, and spent a year studying at Oxford. "After Harry Potter, all that mattered was university," she said, in an interview with the Sunday Times. "It wasn't always easy to break down barriers, as having men from the British press following me with cameras didn't help my mission to integrate. The American press, by contrast, "afforded me so much privacy", but her fellow students recognised her at once. "On the first day, I walked into the canteen and everyone went completely silent and turned around to look at me. I had to say to myself 'it's OK, you can do this'. You just have to take a deep breath and gather your courage."

GUARDIAN COMMENTERS SAY: So something like this Burberry campaign she did a few years ago? Hypocrisy at its finest. She flaunts with the fashion industry and enjoys its perks all the time, but hops on the 'female beauty' bandwagon and enjoys a moan when it suits her. I'd find her socially conscientious pleas convincing if she hadn't profited in the hundreds of thousands (if not millions) from the big, bad, evil fashion/beauty industry. A few years ago, Emma Watson appeared in high-profile advertising companies for posh Paris fashion house L'ancome. I'm guessing she was handsomely remunerated for her 'work'. Certainly she was not forced into letting her photo shopped image be used to market expensive cosmetics and perfumes. Did she only discover how 'oppressive' the fashion industry is when L'ancome cancelled her lucrative contract? Ms Watson is essentially a third-rate actress, and her pronouncements on large and complex issues, such as the pressures on women, are so idiotically vapid that one is brought to conclude that she really can have very little aptitude for higher education. I mean, her comments are hardly indicative of an educated person, or even of a moderately literate or intelligent person. By the way, I understand that she spent a year at Oxford as a visiting and/or exchange student while enrolled at Brown. How come? She is a British national, and so by rights she should not have gone to Oxford on a visiting/exchange student programme, irrespective of whether she happens a student at an American university. If I am wrong about this, then I should like to have some explanation as to her status at Oxford, and how she came by it. Otherwise, I suppose that one might be forgiven for thinking that it is yet another case of a once respectable academic institutions bowing down before the false idols of celebrity and money. (This is quite apart from the fact that all that one has read about her since she began life as a student concerns her acting career, her modeling and her various boyfriends.) SOME COMMENTS FROM THE DM ARTICLE Notice how it's always people who are very aware of how attractive they are that babble on about how it's okay to have physical blemishes? I'd like to see an ugly person say the same thing. Only someone young, beautiful and with her whole life before her can say that, and mean it. Sometimes, her comments maKe her more stupid. Get lost and Wingardium Leviosa. What a daft thing to say. But, then again, this is coming from someone who can't seem to finish uni. I feel like I've aged about 10 years reading this article. Annoying girl. Not only annoying, but also pretentious and disingenuous. ^None of this is my words. It from commentators from two sites emma-what-son posted many more so check out her page

Here's what I think As for what she is saying about Brown it's a complete 180 from how she described it before 2013. In 2013 she started to elude to the fact it was not as great as she made it out to be. She gushed how wonderful her experiences had been to so many magazines. Now I think she's looking for pity and to have excuses why she never stayed at Brown. She preached how she was staying put. I am so fucking tired of having to post quote after quote proving my point with this when she lies time after time. She is not honest! What the truth is doesn't matter because she always lying. It's a constant thing with her. As for the pressures on women she is really a piece of work. The guardian commenters summed it up nicely. She had no problem attaching herself to Burberry and Lancôme. She's had no problem giving them praise and talking about fashion and make-up in just about every interview. That part where she talked about photo shopping and air brushing. Just wow! Did she see the Wonderland magazine she edited? Some photos it didn't even look like her. She'll continue allowing her image to be manipulated no matter what. She thinks she’s aging? She still looks 15 without all the make-up and photo shopping. Last year she was stopped at JFK because they thought she was a unaccompanied minor. Did you know one of the product she pushed when modeling for Lancôme was an anti-age cream? That's the dumbest comment in her entire interview. But really she's said this kind of stuff the last three years and most notably in 2011 where she had a various quotes about body image and being comfortable in your skin. I wont bore you with those quotes since I have before. She gets lauded for those comments and people place her in role model status but when you closely look at it they were just words that meant nothing at the time other than to make people think, “Emma is so anti-Hollywood!! She’s a role model for women and young girls” but meanwhile she never believed in any of it in the first place. At the time she said those things she was at a more healthier weight than she ever was. In 2011 you can tell she either stopped working out or ate more. I thought she looked her best then. Now she’s back to stick thin and even surpassed it a way IMO is unhealthy. She sending a bad message to women. From standard.co.uk July 2011, “She sees modeling as an extension of acting, in fact - just playing a role - but is conflicted about its demands. “I think the pressure the media and the fashion industry put on women to look a certain way is pretty intense. There’s a certain tyranny to trying to achieve that kind of beauty. I don’t know, I’m maybe not the best person to speak about this because I obviously completely adhere to it,” she laughs nervously. “ ^She really needs to start taking her own advice and quit being a judgmental hypocrite. Not just with this topic but everything she tends to speak out against that she does it herself. Recently she tweeted a photo of all this make-up and I posted this on my tumblr days ago

^Same phone in this photo is what they're using in the bottom photo that I also posted on tumblr She said something else recently (Sunday Times interview) that is just typical Emma. I covered this a few times. From emmawatsonbelgium.blogspot.be March 2014, "For someone who has starred in eight blockbuster movies and is worth an estimated £30m, she is endearingly modest about how green she felt leaving Harry Potter behind in 2011. Emerging from that magical machine was “really intimidating”, she says. “I’d done two tiny plays when I was, like, six and eight, but I wasn’t driven to act. I wasn’t doing Oscar acceptance speeches into a hairbrush." Yeah it might have no been a hairbrush but who knows she could be lying about that. She'd practice her speeches in mirrors. From telegraph.co.uk July 2007, "Pauline is utterly obsessed with being an actress and I was just like that when I was younger. I dreamt of it. I practised speeches in front of mirrors. Whenever there was a part at school, I went for it. I was probably a bit of a show-off in the sense that any chance to get up and be seen, I did it. I was such a drama queen. I used to wail and moan and cry, and little things were blown up into being big things. I don't know how my parents stood it, really. I've grown up a bit. I've had to. I actually really want to be an actress, a proper actress who makes it her career. I'm always expecting to be found out and I thought, If I'm no good, now is the time to find out." She really wants people to think she all of a sudden wants to act. What I think is she is really trying to distance herself from her lack luster post Potter career by making it out like she now wants to act and that’s why she has no lead roles because her resume does not equal her hype. The last few years she’s separated herself from “always wanted to be an actress” to “I was not sure”. She’s being disingenuous as usual and people believe it. Plus she said she did modeling so directors and producers would look at her differently so that's why she used Burberry and Lancôme. And she did a course at RADA in 2008 so if she was not sure or didn't want to than why did she do these things? One more thing from the Sunday Times interview From emmawatsonbelgium.blogspot.be March 2014, "It’s about as close as she’ll get to revealing anything about her newest relationship, with Matt Janney, rugby hunk and Oxford’s most eligible bachelor. “I can’t comment on it, I’m sorry,” she says, suddenly jumping up and hastily bundling her things back into her bag, which has exploded across the sofa beside her. “I’m trying to keep my private life sacred, although I don’t want to lock myself up and never go out. So I guard it, because I don’t date people who are famous, and I don’t think it’s fair that, all of a sudden, intimate details of their personal life are public as a direct result of me. I find that so uncomfortable, and I wish there was a way I could protect those people, but it’s not in my control.” When I suggest her boyfriends are consenting adults, she looks worried. “But you don’t choose who to love, who you have feelings for, do you?” She throws her phone into her bag and retreats home to pack, as she’s flying to LA. Just a normal girl, then, off to present an Oscar."

So she can go to international magazines and complain she can't find a man or that men are intimidated by her? She had in the past before Will Adamowicz. It was in almost every one of her interviews for a few years. So she can use Matt Janney (this new guy) on a beach in a bikini PDA session as a publicity stunt to cover up her ex boyfriend being caught rolling coke bombs and also use him to product place an iPhone in Madrid but she wants to keep it private? And she doesn't date famous guys? What about Johnny Simmons (Young Neil) and George Craig (Front man for rock group One Night Only)? If you can Google their name and you see them in movies or music videos, they're famous.

#echee #echee post

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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

Photo

What’s that? I’m talking about Homestuck too much lately? Well, too bad, it updated and I’m-a livebloggin’ it. This chapter contains a content warning for child abuse and I’m thus putting the rest of this post below a Read More, though I’m live blogging and don’t know what the child abuse content actually is.

Looks like we’re with Jane, so this might be the chapter with Yiffy in it! But probably not, because they’re gonna drag it out. Incidentally, since the rebellion consists of two max-level characters, four god tiers (John, Jake, Rose, and Jade), and now Vriska who is the 8est fighter 8y far, how does Jane even stand a chance? Good thing for her that she pre-emptively took a hostage!

JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.) JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I do like that Jane, a genocidal human-supremacist dictator, is worried about being “inclusive” in her propaganda. I wonder if she’s starting to drift from Trumphitler into Nancy Pelosi, now. Also interesting: She’s apparently using Gamzee’s death for propaganda value, cool and all, but her superpower is literally raising the dead. I can buy that Jane would rather use her ex-boyfriend for propaganda than revive him, but won’t the people of Earth C have questions?

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

I realize that Yiffygate made the patreon rocket to the stratosphere, but I hope we’re not actually getting to see her so soon. It’s more fun to speculate. For instance, she’s apparently getting meals in a dog bowl. Is that because she’s literally half dog, moreso than Jade, and is feral in some way? That’s been hinted at a little, but it’s also possible Jane’s just tormenting her to be a bitch. As we saw when she was Crockerfied in Act 6, Jane’s got a bit of a sadistic streak in her.

Well, that was answered pretty fucking fast! Okay, let’s not click next just yet. If we’re only getting one panel to speculate, let’s milk it like a dying webcomic franchise: Preppy bording school outfit, but with cleats, so she’s apparently an athlete. Lots of pink highlights on her outfit (shoes/socks/tie). She’s got a black dog tail, but appears to have light hair? I like this design, actually, or what little of it we’re seeing. I was half-expecting Yiffy to be a full-on Deviantart parody, but I think the angle we’re going here is “a mostly normal girl, besides being part dog, who’s just been absolutely shit on by life and every adult she’s ever encountered”. It’s not her fault her name is Yiffany, y’know? She didn’t ask for this.

Let’s see how right I am.

JANE: Well, go on then. JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

The fact that this chapter had a content warning for child abuse makes this read a lot more “Yikes” than it might’ve otherwise.

DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???)

I feel like this is actually worse than if Jane put the food in a dog bowl to torment Yiffy.

I told you we’d fall in love with her. I told you dog.

....I don’t know if the MSPA art style lends itself to slightly raised camera angles like this, it looks like Yiffy’s face is 50% forehead.

*Lore hat on*

Okay, first off, dick move electrocuting a child. That out of the way. Yiffy is communicating in wolf howls (she must be a big fan of Toast, from my webcomic Saffron and Sage!), but she’s also literally being electrocuted so lets cut her some slack. What’s more interesting is that her Awoos are in red.

Vrissy shares a font color with Vriska, who she’s trying to emulate. They even use the same CSS class in the site code. Tavros shares his with Gamzee, his abusive uncle (and doesn’t have the same CSS class). Harry Anderson has a unique font color that’s pretty close to his dad’s, but isn’t quite the same (possible to make Harry/John chats more readable, whereas Vriska and Vrissy being hard to distinguish is the joke?). Yiffy, however, does not speak in either Jade’s green or Rose’s purple, she speaks in red. It’s a unique shade of red, I checked, and while it could potentially be in reference to Dave, let’s get real

Obviously, she’s the new Handmaid. This was obvious enough that I was making that comparison even before we learned her red text and rebellious personality. So I’m starting to see what they’re going for here (and, god help me, I’m starting to come around to Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley as a concept). She’s not a one-dimensional joke of a character, she’s just a normal girl having a fucking rough time of it right now and also always. Speaking of time, red is connected to the Time aspect, which isn’t confirmation of anything but a little note to put in the back of your pocket.

Also to put in your back pocket, Jane’s the new Condesce and Yiffy’s the new Handmaid. The Condesce killed the Handmaid.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over.

That’s some efficient expositing!

Man, I really am coming around to this Yiffy thing, holy shit. I actually think her reveal last chapter was actively designed to get fans to hate the concept as much as possible, and not just from a Controversy Creates Ca$h kind of way (though that didn’t hurt).The entire fandom has been calling Yiffy a disgusting mistake for three weeks, and now here’s Jane doing it, and we’re being asked to consider this from Yiffy’s perspective: Given a stupid name as a joke, shunted off to boarding school by parents who were ashamed of her existence, repeatedly told she’s a disgusting mistake and tortured, even the fans all hate her on sight, and she literally hasn’t said a word yet! That’s....legitimately pretty cool writing, right there. A deft and entirely intentional juking of the fandom’s emotional state to get us to hate a character conceptually so that now when the comic’s trying to get us to sympathize with her it’s an easier sell because we feel a bit guilty. I dig it. Shit like this is why I still read Homestuck, it can be very clever at times, even now.

(Pierced ears, in case the punky aesthetic wasn’t obvious). Also, the page with a gif of everything going dark as Yiffy passes out has a black background, which is a nice touch.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Then we cut to a chatlog (with the all-black background, which is just really nice here at selling the mood), and even Vrissy doesn’t want to talk about Yiffany.

AG: It was Cute, 8lright???????? AG: Or, at the very least, a 8*cketload less vomit worthy than everything else that Went Down with our parents.

She’s “vomit-worthy”

I think the update that introduced the Candy Kids was the most enjoyable, but this was, by miles, the best thing to come out of the Homestuck EU. It completely redeemed everything this comic did with Yiffy so far and made it all work. And this black-background-no-image gimmick, while simple, was shockingly effective at conveying the lonely empty mood they were going for (admittedly it probably helped that I was already listening to spooky music), and it’s something Homestuck had never done. This was....

This chapter was great. This was Act 5 great. Like, it’s literally just beating up a child for a whole chapter, but in terms of getting the emotional response they wanted, this is Homestuck at its absolute best. It wasn’t just “here’s a cute girl, let’s beat her up a bit for sympathy”, all the stuff in the last chapter, infuriating the fandom like nothing I’ve seen in webcomics in years, Jade’s dog dick, it was all for this. It was all to get us predisposed to fucking hate Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley so that they could flip the switch and make us love her, make the very fact that we hated her so much part of the reason we love her now. No other webcomic would do that, no other webcomic would have the balls to do that. This is why I read Homestuck, this is why I’m still hanging on to this rock has the wave of cheating dog dicks keeps smacking me in the face. This is avant-fucking-garde, man. I’ve done a full 180 on Homestuck 2. I’m sold. I stan. I’m Homestuck trash again.

EDIT

Oh, and Vrissy suddenly passed out mid-sentence right around the same time Yiffy passed out (hmmm!), and apparently she’s narcoleptic like Jade (hmmm!)

#Homestuck #Homestuck 2 #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

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human-nonsense · 5 years

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Chapter 1 of my WIP

Hey looking I'm being a writeblr lol. So I've posted parts of this chapter before but this will be the full chapter. its definitely not perfect (its like a slightly edited first draft lol) but I tried lol. I appreciate anyone who reads this! Hope you enjoy <3 <3 <3

Tagging @marvel-and-writing @northofnowhere4 @kaz3313 @cassandra-yannu-writes and I’ll tag you @kiki-thelocal-farmhoe even though you read it already ajkdjjfhakjhf

Paige had asked me not to follow him that morning. I lasted not even five minutes before I grabbed my cloak, projected out of our realm, and make my way toward the Earth against his wishes. He honestly should have known better than to ask such a thing of me, especially today, but I think he was so much of a nervous wreck when he left that my role in all of this must have slipped his mind. Probably.

As I traveled through the space between Earth and my home, a small ring of blue appeared in front of me. Without hesitation I reached out and pulled the sides until it grew big enough for me to step through it. With my feet hitting the soft ground the smell of grass filled my nose and I smiled. It’s been a while, I’ve missed you.

Then the smell of cattle and shit reached me, and my face cringed a bit. I blinked a few times as the portal disappeared behind me and the sunlight blinded my eyes. The shapes around me cleared and I found myself standing in a field among 20 to 30 black and brown cows. Their brown eyes were all on me, and I raised my hands in surrender.

“Hello darlings, it seems I’m in the wrong place. Any of you know where Mistwood is?” One particular cow made a muffled mooing sound before completely turning her backside toward me. Ignoring my question, she ripped at the grass below her.

“Ok sorry for asking.” I muttered a few curses along with “Rude cow,” as I put my hands down. Treading carefully as I avoided cow waste, I tried my best to look past the cows and off into the horizon in hope of seeing buildings. I can’t be THAT far off...but then again, the Earth is pretty large. I frowned.

“AYE! Get away from my cows!” I turned around and found an older man shaking a shovel in the air. He was steaming as he paced quickly toward me.

“Who are ya, huh? You trying to steal me cows? Speak thief! I won’t continue to be taken advantage of just cuz you people thing I’m old! You hear me!” I side eye the cow that had ignored me earlier as I muttered, “As if I’d want your cows.” “What you say!”

“I said I’m lost. Can you help me? I’m trying to get to Mistwood.” By this time, he was now a few feet in front of me. He was shorter than me with a ragged white beard and a small hunch in his back. He dug his shovel a bit into the ground and leaned on it as he studied my face with narrow beady eyes.

“So... you’re not trying to steal me cows? How do I know you’re telling truth huh? I’ve been robbed before, how do I know it wasn’t you who robbed me last time! I’m not dumb! I’m-”

I placed a hand on his shoulder and felt a coolness grow on my palm. My eyes caught contact with his and I smiled. I could feel as the old man’s tense shoulder relaxed in my grip. The shovel slipped from his grasp and landed with a thud on the ground. His eyes gleamed bright for a second before dimming down to their natural brown. I smiled again.

“I promise I have no desire so steal from you. Now can you tell me where Mistwood is?” The old man’s fists clenched and relaxed at his sides. He took a deep breath before he gurgled the back of his throat and spat to the side. I had to hold myself from twisting my face.

His eyes gleamed again as he said, “It’s roughly 200 miles East from here.” I glanced in the direction he was pointing and let go of the old man. East? Oh that’s right, I forgot that’s the new north. Who was the dumbass who switched those around? It wasn’t me was it?

The old man shook his head a bit. He probably felt the usual groggy and confused, but I didn’t have the time to explain to him what I did or say that I was sorry. I could always come back and do that. I could even give him a cow or something. Better yet I could deal with the people stealing from him, but for now I had to find Paige. I hope I find him before he finds her.

I was already making my way through the cows, my eyes peeled for their crap, by the time I heard his voice again. “Aye, wait! Wait one second young lady, what was... I feel... WAIT!” Now outside of the herd, I turned to face him as I continued to walk steadily backwards. “Yes?” Struggling to keep up he asked, “You’re not gonna walk all the way there are you? It will take days and you got nothing with you. What kind of traveler travels without supplies huh? Are you sure you’re not up to something bad like stealing-”

A large blue ring of energy burst open behind me stopping him in his tracks. “Of course not, thank you for your time Jaymes. May our paths cross again another day...or something.” I stepped back into the portal and I watched as his eyes grew wide. His mouth hung open as the ring closed around me. Before the portal completely closed, I popped my head out and quickly told him, “And good luck with the cows and the harvest. Remember not to drown your plants that what got you in trouble last year, ok bye”

I vanished with a pop. The words “how did you...” echoed in the distance as I made my way toward Mistwood. I was careful not to arrive anywhere crowded, I did not need to freak out a crowd and create a whole mob today. Some Earth Humans may know about magic but not all of them. And as for the few who practice it, their abilities could never compare to what Paige and I could do.

I peeked through the small ring to check if the area was clear before stepping into an empty alley. I took a moment to rest against the brick wall that ran down most of one side. Those portals really do a number on me, especially when I miss. With my eyes closed and my back against the wall, I blindly padded down the various pockets hidden within my black button-down vest. It took me a second but I final took out a light blue cloth out of a pocket of my navy-blue britches. The cloth was long enough to tie around my face up to my nose, which I did. I waved my hand slowly across my face and the cloth glimmered as it changed into a dark mask.

The mask waved and shimmered giving it the illusion that it was made from fluid water like shadows. I use this technique usually to make sure my face will be covered no matter what lighting I may walk through, but also, well, because I thought it was cool. It covered everything except my eyes. Finally, I got off the wall and put the hood of my cloak up to hide the rest of my head from sight. Not wasting anymore time I paced out of the alley and on to the semi crowded sidewalk.

I think I blended in with crowd well enough? My clothes were definitely not as flashy or bright as they could be, but they were nice. I got a few glances no doubt due to the speed I was walking and the fact I was just slightly pushing past some of them. Not too hard of course, I don’t need to accidently break one of them or something. Oh that would be the last thing I need today, another headache to explain to Paige.

“Hey what’s the rush huh!” I briefly turned back to give the slow man I had bumped past a look. He spilled a bit of the drink gripped in his hand as he jumped back, practically out of his skin.

“Ahh sor- sorry.” He stuttered before I turned back and kept walking. I’m going to take it that my eyes are really red right now if I freaked him out that badly. On a less stressful occasion I probably would have enjoyed messing with an Earth human, just a tiny bit, but my thoughts of Paige pushed any thought of fun out of my mind.

There was no telling where he could be, the city of Miswood was a very large, busy, and modernized city that he could literally be three steps behind me, and I’d probably never know. So instead of search for Paige I decide to head straight for the hospital I knew would be his end destination.

The place, unfortunately, was a building he has visited many times before, but today would be a different kind of visit if everything went according to plan. I have been to Mistwood’s Hospital of the Sun many times too for various reasons, so I knew my way well. It seems that Paige and I are often...needed in those sorts of places.

After a block I decided to just run for it. With every step I was cursing out my portals. A few lifetimes of practicing and I still can’t do the stupid things right 100% of the time. They’re just weird to me and so hard to navigate in that you basically have to guess when to step out unless you’re constantly peak out all the time. I am not afraid to admit I get lost...a lot, and that’s why I’m running because I don’t want to try again and accidently end up in another city like an idiot.

Maybe my frustration blinded me or I was too busy keeping myself from wheezing too loudly, but I completely ran past him before I registered his existence in the corner of my eye. Skidding to a stop, I took a few steps back and saw a pacing Paige mumbling loudly to himself back and forth farther into the alleyway next to me. His hands covered his masked shaking face as he said to himself, “I can’t do this, I just can’t! It will be one big mess!”

My attention being solely on him I gloriously rammed the side of my hip and leg into a metal trash bin on my right while I was making my way toward him. I grunted and cursed, grabbing at my side as the metal bin crashed with a loud CLUNK on the floor before spilling most of its contents between the two of us. Paige’s head snapped my direction. The air around us picked up and cooled to the point we could faintly see each other’s breathes. In seconds it warmed as the air calmed the moment he recognized me.

“Greenwood?” He whispered. His hands were slightly shaking and his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. Rubbing my side and giving a frustrated kick at the bin below, I made my way closer to him. “Paige, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be-”

“I know!” he interrupted loudly before quickly covering the part of his mask where his mouth would have been. He waved the same shaking hand over his face and his dark shadowy mask similar to mine vanished into a small white cloth. Still not meeting my gaze he pulled the cloth down to his neck before running the same hand through his brown hair.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t of... I’m just...” sighing he started again. “I’m scared. Of what she will think of me. I don’t know how much she might remember and... it’s hard. So I panicked half way and I just...” he gestured the alley around him. I waved my mask off and pulled the cloth down. I was close enough now that I could reach out and touch him so I placed a hand on his shoulder. He kept his head down so I cocked my head to the side to try and met his gaze.

“Hey, I know what you mean. The closer I get to her... the more terrified I feel.” His eyes finally glanced up to me. “You have no reason to be afraid. She’ll love you if we can do this right but me...” I placed my other hand on his other shoulder as I smiled at him. “Exactly Paige! If we do this right she will... we will have another chance to make things right. To make it up to her.”

Paige was quiet as his icy eyes searched my now blues ones, considering the conversation. A small grin made his way across his face.

“You’re not trying to use some magic shit on me now are you?” I laughed before letting him go. “Me? Of course not, though I did have to do some to get here.” “You didn’t use the trees?” “I...didn’t think about it to be honest. I wasn’t thinking straight and I got just a bit lost, but I’m here so what does it matter, right?” He shook his head, his grin not leaving him.

“I thought I asked you to stay put?” “Can you really blame me! I mean what would you have done if our roles were reversed, huh?” “Not far from the same thing.” His grin fades as the daunting weight of his task fell on his shoulders once more.

Twisting one of my fingers in front of me, I continued. “And now that I’m here, I can help.” He looked down, his eyes glancing at his sword. “It’s still mostly up to me though.” “That’s true. I can’t do this for you, I know that, but I can walk with you, yeah? And when we’re there, I promise I won’t be far.”

I gave him my best smile and he gave a short laugh. Nodding he answered quietly, “You never are.”

He looked off to the side in a daze. His hands were shaking a bit less now, however one of them was grasping the shiny silver sword at his hip tightly. Blinking out of his daze he looked at his sword again and slowly nodded his head. I watched him intently, as old memories resurfaced no doubt in both of our minds.

At last he said, “I made a promise to try didn’t I. So try I will. For her.” He looked my way and I gave him a nod. “For her.”

Paige took a deep breath before placing his palm on his chest. “What color should we be then?” I thought about it for second before answering, “I don’t think there’s many Ohpan humans this down south so... Ralodan?” He nodded his agreement and I put my own hand on my chest. Together we said,

The true form of the universe is unknown

It is hidden within a color we can not see

Just like I wish to be

Make me Ralodan

As our final words left our lips, a white light extended from our hand. The light beamed bright as it expanded from our chests causing the parts of us the light touched to disappear. In a matter of seconds, we were completely gone, or at least we would appear to be among the Earth Humans. They wouldn’t be able to see or hear our footsteps. As long as we kept our mouths shut and hands to ourselves it will seem like we don’t exist at all. We gave each other a once over to make sure we were completely covered before I lead us out of the alley way.

Neither of us walked with much of a hurry. I could only guess Paige was trying to stall as much as I was. Though my face felt emotionless my hands could not stop twisting in front of me. Just thinking about where we were heading made my stomach drop and my heart beat a bit faster. Paige though calmer, was still gripping his sword tightly and his shoulders were tense with stress. I looked away from him and smiled to myself. I guess we’re still just as human as anyone else huh...

I crashed into Paige’s backside, my distracted mind not realizing he had stopped. I whispered my apologies, but he didn’t pay me any mind. His eyes instead were glued on the towering hospital a block in front of us.

For a second I thought he might run away. He was paler than before and wouldn’t look away from building and I was prepared to catch him if he did decide to flee. However, he only put his hands in the pockets of his old black leather jacket before walking ahead of me. I took a moment to watch him and look up at the rows of windows higher above. I wonder which one’s hers...I thought, instantly making my stomach drop again. With a hand pressed to my gut I followed behind him.

No one paid us any mind as we entered the hospital. The waiting area was full of buzzing people rushing here and there. Some of them I recognized as doctors and alchemists due to their orange, red robes that had a large symbol of the sun on their backs. Paige and I had to be patient and observant enough to stay out of people’s ways. This made catching up to Paige to be a bit of a struggle but hey like I promised him, I wasn’t far off.

In the middle of the hospital stood four large blocks of wooded lifts that were each separated by maybe a couple feet of marble flooring. Each lift had four poles to hold up a thin roof that was decorated with silver sun symbols on the top. Large silver chains were attached to each corner of each lift. With my eyes I followed the chains up the seven levels of the hospital all the way to the clear glass roof that allowed the sun to beam directly on the lifts and then some.

I watched with a proud smile as the symbols of one of the full lifts glowed red and the chains began to rattle. Up it went, faster than one would expect just looking at the weight it carried, but the power of the sun is a strong force. A joy filled me. Using the power of the sun took the humans millions of years to figure out and only a few thousands to relearn it, I was proud of them.

As Paige and I carefully dodged and maneuvered through the people we soon were able to reach the lifts. Paige managed to get on one with ease while I had to jump desperately reaching out for one of the poles as the lift left the ground. With the machines speed I only managed to grab the bottom of the pole. I felt my legs dangle down below and I willed myself not to look down. Silent as I could be, I pulled myself up and looked at Paige. I narrowed my eyes at the grinning face he did not try to hide. I gave him a very colorful gesture before gripping the pole tightly as the lift buckled to a stop.

There were three people being carried on a cot on the lift, two stronger looking individuals were at both ends of each one trying to keep the cot steady. These cots took up most of the space. A few clusters of families stood here and there with doctors in between them attending to the patents. As a cot and company made their way off the lift, a larger crowd of people took their places. The new flow of people pushed Paige and I tightly to the corners of the lift to the point we were both standing on the outside of the poles. The tips my feet barely stood on each side of the pole with the back of my feet touched nothing but air as a small family inched its way closer to me.

My stomach swirled as the lift buckled to life and I felt the absence of floor below me. Against my better judgement I glanced down just as the lift zipped upward. A sharp curse left my lips as my stomach dropped at the sight of the long-tilted drop below me. I closed my eyes and pressed my head on the pole as I tried to forget the image. It filled me with only a little bit of peace to know the marble floor did have an enchantment placed on it to make sure no one could fall to their deaths. Don’t ask how I know that.

I open my eyes briefly and a small child that belonged to the family in front of me was scanning his eyes my direction.

Well shit. Paige was watching quietly to my left. He had more room than I did with both feet standing firmly on the floor. I didn’t know what much he could do if anything.

Just looking at him all I could tell the child was eight and named Kelith. While glancing around for my voice, his curious eyes lingered on my face for a few seconds. I held my breath. His gazed moved on yet a frozen state took me as he reached out toward me with his small hand. I sucked my stomach in the closer he got. My heart thundered in my chests as thoughts reminded me of the open air behind my back. Shoo! Shoo! Please don’t make me have to drop and get another lift! Please Kelith! Mind your business!

His small hand touched the pole a few inches below my hands as the lift came to another stop. His family, who were more concerned with their fallen family member then any sound I made, trailed a few doctors and a cot off the lift and onto the fifth level of the hospital. The child not wanting to be left behind followed quickly behind them giving me the opportunity to breath.

Seconds after making are way up again I hear the taunting voice of Paige say, “That could’ve gone worse. I do wonder what you would’ve done if he had found you out.” Glancing around the lift I found the lift to be a lot emptier than it had started out with. “I wasn’t about to fight an eight-year-old if that helps. Even if it was tempting.” He smiled and opened his mouth to answer only to close it into a thin line when the lift stopped for the final time.

A hand brushed over Paige’s paling face and through his hair. “This is her floor isn’t?” I heard no answer. Light blue eyes were hazed in thought as they stared down the hallway before us. I glanced past him and watched the last cot getting situated to step off before looking back at Paige. Placing my hand on his shoulder I found tension there. Faint droplets of sweat adorned his forehead. The cot was halfway off the lift by now.

“Come on Paige.” There was pause of continuing silence. Before I could consider trying to drag him off, he nodded and walked forward. I followed behind and heard the rattling sound of the chain coming to life as my feet meet marble.

My eyes never left him as we continued through the hallway. Watching his stiff and uncomfortable presences made my mind fill with its own fair share of nervousness. Each quiet step we took, each stressed doctor holding files of paper rushing to some unknown room, each pained patient I caught glances of through windows and doorways... I wanted to bolt back home. I wasn’t ready to face her. I was a brave coward, I guess we both were. Brave enough to keep going but so much of a coward that I regret how far we’ve come. Then we turned a corner, Paige slowly stopped and that’s when I could hear a heart beating. I couldn’t tell if it was mine, but it echoed distantly as Paige turned back to finally look at me.

He leaned in closer as he whispered, “We’re a bit early, the morning nurse is still with her.” My eyes glanced against my will to the small window of the room to my right. That heartbeat returned stronger than before to only quieting down as only the light orange robes of the nurse filled my view.

I looked back at Paige just as he was recreating his mask. Instead of the shadowy void that we had worn before was now a simple polished blue porcelain half mask. The door clicked open and out stepped the nurse between us oblivious to our presences. I gently caught the door inches before it clicked shut. Paige made sure the nurse had made it down the hall before speaking again. The white of the walls, the emptiness of it all made it feel like nothing else existed, only this hallway, this room, me, Paige, and…

A weight filled my chest. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to walk through this door and face her if the thought of her alone made me anxious.

“Will you come in with me?” whispered Paige, his eyes practically begging me to say yes. I nodded. He relaxed just a bit.

“But I’ll stay like this, I don’t want to be seen just in case she remembers me.” “You know there’s only a small chance of that.” “But if she sees us both it will increase the chances. I don’t want to risk it. It will be too much for her if she remembers us both.”

Paige fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. “You’re right… I just think she would prefer to see your face over mine.” He places his hand on his chest and softly chanting,

I am of the Earth and the Sea

And of the space between all things

Let me be seen

Like before a white light beamed from his hand and traveled the extent of his body as it dispelled the color Ralodan that had covered his former self.

He took a deep breath before facing me. “Where do you think I should start?” That question had a million answers. Over the last couple of centuries, it has haunted every quiet moment I’ve ever had, yet I still had no for sure answer even now that the question mattered.

“I…I can’t tell you that, but I do know not to start at the beginning. Maybe instead start with the chapter before that.” Paige nodded. He managed to take a step towards the door before I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

“Hey everything will work out, yeah? I know you can do this Paige.” His tensed shoulders relaxed only slightly. “I don’t think you have enough energy to magic my stress a way Greenwood.” “It was worth a try.” He patted the top of my head before pushing the door open and making his way into the room. I shook the nervousness out of my hands quickly before following right behind him.

I could not help by smile the second I saw her. There she was, after so long, she was now only a couple feet in front of me, of us. She was young, only 21 years old. Her dark blue eyes were a bright contrast against her light skin and the dark bags that laid beneath them. Her dark hair was a mess that came to her shoulders. The girl was pale and sweaty. She coughed and closed her eyes as she rubbed her chest. I thought she would pass out, but her droopy eyes reluctantly opened again. Almost like coughing drained her of all her energy. Like she was wasting away like an old woman laying in her death bed. My heart ached just looking at her.

Spread out on her bed were varies pieces of paper, pencils and pens. A pair of scissors was lazily grasped in her hands. She must have been doing some sort of crafts, as best as I could tell. At first, she didn’t notice us when we walked in. Her focused gaze was toward the large window to her left. I managed to catch a glance of the small birds that were chirping and dancing right outside the glass before the door closed with a click behind me. Hearing the door, she blinked out of her thoughts and turned our way.

A small sharp gasped escaped her, stopping Paige in his tracks. She turned her head in confusion as she studied him. Paige took another step and the girl moved back in her bed away from him.

“You…who are you?” she managed to whisper. A tense Paige took another small step towards her. The girl gripped her scissors a bit tighter in her gasps. I put an arm out in front of Paige to stop him from getting any closer. He didn’t look at me but as I quietly made my way away from him, he didn’t move a muscle.

“Hannah, I’m not here to hurt you. I-” “You know my name?”

Do you ever have that moment when look at someone and their face and very existence makes you so angry you could just punch them in the face then and there? Do you know that feeling? Well, I watched as the slightly fearful, yet curious look on Hannah’s face twisted to burning rage seconds after hearing Paige’s voice and I knew that moment was happening now. Her blue eyes burned dark. Her whole body started shaking, I thought she was going to explode. She had changed so much from the sick weak girl she had seemed that I took a few cautious steps away from the two of them and toward the window.

“That voice... where do I know that voice.” She said through strained teeth. My eyes grew wide. I looked at Paige and he was already looking at me. I could tell the same thought was running through our minds. She remembers.

“Why do I know your name! Tell me who you are! Or get out!” Goosebumps appeared on my arms as a dark and heavy energy creeped its way through the room. It felt warm. I could see it seeping out of Hannah as her anger grew. I looked at Paige and he was pale and sweating.

Desperately he pleaded, “Wait! Please hear me out. I’m here for you. I’m here to-” “Here to kill me.” Her voice was dead cold. I was worried now. I needed to do something but what could I do? If I reveal myself and she recognized me there was no telling if that would make things better or worse.

“What? No! I just-” Hannah threw a pillow and Paige took it right in the face. “Get out! NOW!” Paige gave me a pleading looking as he clutched the pillow like a shield between him and Hannah. I gestured with my hands something that said “What do want me to do? I’m trying to not be known!”

Trying again Paige pleaded, “Look, look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you-” Hannah wasn’t listening though. She instead was seconds away from pressing the emergency button on the side of her bed. Paige noticed and clicked his fingers. A blast of air covered the room just as her hand slammed on the frozen button. A shiver went down my spine. The air was noticeable cooler than it had been a moment before. It did not mix well with the heavy heat of Hannah’s rage creating an almost humid feeling to the room.

Hannah hit the button several times, but it wouldn’t move. Grunting in frustration, her eyes zoomed around the room and stopped as they met the window. The birds were there only they were still, frozen in flight. She snapped her head to Paige making him raise his hands in surrender.

“What did you do!” she yelled. Paige was backing away now, the energy was crawling toward Paige and I had no idea what to do. “You were going to call for help and I panicked, I’m sorry! I here to-”

The dark energy blasted in all directions in the room. I raised my hand to block the blast. BOOM. I felt small thuds hit my back as the window behind me exploded. Hannah screamed in surprised. I held in a curse as I looked back and saw half the window now across the floor as glittery shards. Looking back at Hannah her eyes were wide and scared. She can still do magic? Oh fuck.

“Hannah…” The girl snapped her head at Paige. She was still shaking but now more out of fear and bewilderment than anger.

“You did that.” “No-” “Yes you did! You are here to kill me. I can feel it in here.” She pointed to her chest. “It’s my time, right? That’s why you’re here right! I can feel it. Every day I’m worse and no one knows how to make me better!” Tears were glittering her cheeks. Her fists were shaking, and her jaws was strained.

“But I won’t just die without a fight.” Gripping her scissors, in a flash she threw the blanket off her, stormed off the bed and headed straight for Paige. Reacting on instinct I grabbed the girl around her waist, stopping her in her tracks. Let’s be honest here, I doubt she could do much to hurt Paige, but she was angry, confused, armed, and just exploded a window so I was not underestimating her right now.

“Stop it!” She yelled at Paige, unaware that holding her back was not his doing but mine.

I gave Paige a look that’s said, “Do something!” as she fought against my grip. I was carful not to breath on her but considering her mind set she didn’t noticed it was a person holding her back and not magic.

She was wild. I ducked just in time to avoid an elbow to the face. I couldn’t even calmer down if I tried. I needed to look in her eyes for that. But she was still sick so deeper breathes were soon following her fighting. Paige was clutching his sword as he looked at me with wide eyes. The heavy energy of the room was trying desperately to reach him, but he forced it awake with a flick of his hand. I could physically see the clockwork crank in his mind. He ran his hand through his hair quickly before unsheathed his sword, raised it above his head and slowly got down to one knee before Hannah.

I almost gasped but held it back. There were only a few beings in this world Paige kneeled too, one of them was me, and the others were being greater than the both of us combined. He really is serious about making amends…

Keeping his head down he pleaded, “Hannah, I promise you I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help.”

“Help! Help me how? By ending me!” Still fighting to get free she laughed at the idea. “I know what’s wrong with you! Why you’re sick all!” Hannah stilled in my arms. I could feel her anger cool just the slightest. She stared at him for a long time before she finally asked, “You do?” Paige slowly nodded. “You’re lying! No doctor can figure it out, so how is it you know what’s wrong with me?”

“Because I know more than any doctor will ever know. I know every illness, every poison on this planet and the next. That’s why I’m here, I…” He looked up at Hannah. “I know how to heal you.”

Hannah was still shaking but was leaning more against me now. The longer she stood in my arms the more she seemed to rely on me to stand. The warm heavy energy recoiled toward her as it died down. She was sweating and tired but trying her hardest to not show her weakness to Paige.

“I don’t trust you! I just look at you and I… you can’t only be here to heal me, can you? I know you’re here because I’m dying. I can feel it, but…that’s not the only reason why I go so angry is it? There’s something else behind that anger.” She placed a hand on her chest. Gently he answered, “You’re right. While most people don’t like me and react to my presence in all sorts of ways, you are the first on instinct to be filled with a…justified rage.”

Hannah stared at him as she caught her breathe. “So, you are who I think you are then.” “Maybe. I am, well, a lot of things.” Hannah narrowed her eyes. “Then explain it.” Paige slowly stood. “I will. I promise. But first I need you to listen to a story of mine.”

There was a silent pause that echoed through the room. Paige opened his mouth to say more but Hannah beat him to it.

“A story? Why would I want that!” “Because I promise you the story will explain everything I am. It will explain the true reason behind your anger, why you are dying, and most importantly how you can heal. Please. Just give me one chance.” Hannah was silent. I noticed her head turning a bit as she looked at the birds again. Their frozen state was unchanged. She looked back at him.

“I still don’t trust you. The worst part is I feel like…like I know you.”

“I promise to explain everything. You deserve it.” Hannah gave a reluctant sighed.

“Fine. But you have to promise not to do anything weird.” She gestured to herself, the frozen birds and exploded window. “Well technically I didn’t destroy the wind-” “Secondly I get to keep your sword until you’re done.” Without much hesitation Paige agreed and offered her his hand.

I finally let go of her and took silent steps away from the two of them, watching them intently. Hannah hesitated, eying him carefully before gripping his hand. Small streams of light danced as they encircled their hands. Hannah watched with eyes wide open.

“I thought I told you not to do anything weird!” “Don’t worry, it’s just magic. These lights will make sure I keep my promises.” Hannah pulled her hand away once they died down.

“What’s magic?”

Paige relaxed just the slightest at the sound of her calmer voice. He sheathed the blade, untied some strings and offered the sword, scabbard and all to Hannah. As she took it and slowly backed up into her bed, Paige answered her question in the most annoying way possible.

“How do you not know what magic is?” Hannah narrowed her eyes. Paige rubbed the back of his neck and apologized.

“Whatever, I get it. Magic is the source of your weird shit. Now, will this take long?” Paige took a moment to think. “Probably.” Hannah did not look pleased by that answer. Placing Paige’s sword in her lap she gripped the hilt. Paige cleared his throat as I made my way closer to Hannah’s side.

“You know there once was a time when all humans in the world could do the ‘weird shit’ all the time.” Hannah raised her eyebrow in disbelief. “It’s true. The Earth is full of all kinds of chapters filled with all kinds of people. In one chapter the humans wielded magic like it was an extension of their own bodies. And in another their magic was stripped away from them. My favorite I think is the story of how humans go their magic back.”

“That’s great. How does any of this help me?” Ignoring her question Paige absent minded said to himself. “I think I’ll start with Bruno.” Confused Hannah asked, “Bruno? Who is that?” Paige smiled under his mask making his eyes brighten a bit.

“He was a young man. He lived when the old countries use to separate the world. I don’t know a lot of his story, but I do know he was… there.” Hannah raised an eyebrow. “Where is there?” Paige clasped his hands together. His eyes were cloudy like he was lost in his thoughts. He looked at me, his light eyes swirling with white energy as he answered “He was there when the planet broke apart. He was there when the humans, their ancient countries and kingdoms finally fell to pieces.

#writing #writeblr #writer #my wip #my writing #fantasy #i'm trying aksjkhah #feedback is welcomed btw #its probably rough so be gentle #if you guys like it i'll post more XD

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annakie · 5 years

Text

Thoughts on a DW Rewatch & Mass Effect replay.

So I’m in the Eleven / Clara half-season now.

Also I’m now replaying Andromeda. I have thoughts, about both. I’ll start with Doctor Who then label it when I get to Mass Effect stuff.

Oh my God this gets long and rambly. Apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

So, season 702... I’m ready for it to be over. I miss the Ponds. I felt like most of the first half of this season was pretty great, honestly. I’d forgotten how fun some of those episodes were, I think at the time we were anticipating a new companion so heavily that it was harder to appreciate those episodes? I feel like there was a lot of criticism levied towards them that now I felt like was a bit too much. The western episode was kinda meh but still not bad.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about these Clara / Eleven episodes that I’m still not connecting with but I’m in the middle of the Crimson Horror episode (which is a Vastra/Jenny/Strax heavy episode and enjoying it more than anything else so far this half-season.

*edit later* NOPE NOPE NOPE I’D FORGOTTEN HOW THE DOCTOR FORCES A KISS ON JENNY. GROSS. SUPER GROSS. SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN, A LESBIAN AND DID NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS. BAD DOCTOR, BAD.

Honestly even with some excellent guest start acting, the Russian Submarine episode was STILL a slog and the ghosts in the 1950′s episode no better. Like they still weren’t ridiculous and unwatchable but... just didn’t feel fun or interesting at all? The Journey to the Center of the TARDIS episode was decent, and I felt like that wasn’t nearly as cool as it should have been..

I remember reading a criticism of these episodes early on where they said that the biggest fault is that they failed to give Clara any real characterization or solid personality other than “girl the Doctor is obsessed with”. She’s SUPER IMPORTANT but not only do we not know why at this point but it really doesn’t feel... earned? I don’t recall it ever feeling earned that Clara was supposedly always so important? “The most importantest companion EVAR!”

And as someone who stanned the hell out of a character who was hated in the fandom for “replacing” a previous companion I’m checking myself to make sure it’s still not because I Miss the Ponds. Like, I don’t HATE Clara, I just, at least at this point in the rewatch, can’t find any reason to really LOVE her? She’s there, she’s fine, Jenna-Louise Coleman is doing a great job with what they’re giving to her but... I don’t know. It all feels... off.

I had forgotten all about the “the Doctor rides a motorcycle up the side of a skyscraper” moment and something hit me in that moment that made me remember that wow people hated that moment. It felt really... shark-jumpy somehow.

I love Eleven, but this half-season isn’t connecting with me, AT ALL. It feels like the writers just went and dug through a bunch of rejected script ideas, polished them up and were likle “let’s just do this until Matt Smith is gone.” I’m anxious to get to Twelve.

Mass Effect Stuff

OK TECHNICALLY I haven’t finished ME3. I still need to do the party and the goodbye scene, (Citadel Epiloge Mod installed) but I’ve gotten all the Stuff and done all the missions in the arena. I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, so I started Andromeda a bit early.

-----------------

OK look I had a point I wanted to make and never quite got where I wanted to go with it right here. I’m too tired of trying to fix it, so this stands as written.

This playthrough had me ruminating a lot on Kaidan and Garrus. I really love both of those characters, though in my heart I’ll always primarily love Kaidan, I’ve done the Garrus romance and wouldn’t mind playing that character again to see the romance one more time. In ME1, I bring Kaidan everywhere all the time, and pick which other companion I bring to the story-based missions based on what I know is gonna happen like I’m sure most people do. Wrex for Therum, Tali for Feros (though I REALLY wish you could switch before going to see the Thorian), Liara for Noveria, Ashley on Virmire, Garrus for Ilos/Endgame. I rotate through all five for sidemissions.

In ME2, Garrus is my always-bring companion, with Garrus + Miranda being my favorite team. Except after the Omega relay, where characters with Throw really shine with all those husks running at us, Jack holds the bubble, and Miranda and Thane, who both have Warp to help take down the Reaper Baby, are the preferred team. Also so Miranda can tell TIM to fuck off.

Then in ME3, once the game opens up, Garrus is back on the perma-team, with a preference towards bringing Liara along... until we get Kaidan back. And then I realized I didn’t bring him to a single thing except a side mission or two until Earth. Mostly, this is because I’m following the Kaidan Banter guide and it turns out Garrus is a real banter hog for most of the missions. At leat he’s not James, who I literally never use unless I’m going on an N7 mission and feel bad that I haven’t taken him off the Normandy in awhile. I mean, even Javik gets more play. Also EDI doesnt leave the Normandy til near the end when all of a sudden she gets real important.

But Garrus is always on the team for Priority Earth. And that always felt like the way the main game should end, with your two favorites. (Also what kind of monster wouldn’t bring Wrex to the combat-centric areas of Citadel DLC? I keep thinking I should have runs where I bring other people but... Wrex is my other fave and we don’t get him with us AT ALL since ME1.)

I love Garrus, so much. And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective... overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters. The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile. But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of DW, or actually playing the games, those characters are awesome.

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines. Going back through my blog reminded me that even the TAH fandom had some of this, with a small percentage of fans being real dicks to two prominent female characters in favor of their favorite ship, which soured even that just a tiny bit.

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this. It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing. I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall. Maybe yelling a lot about Martha Jones did change some people’s minds. It still isn’t that good of a look now, even knowing that in general I was pretty polite and logical about it. I might respond to an odd comment now and again in some favorite character tags, but in general, turns out that kind of fight just isn’t worth it.

And those fights seem so stupid in the light of everything else happening in the world today.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.

-----------------------

I also wanted to say, and I know I said it in a few other posts about this ME3 playthrough, but seriously I cannot believe how much ME3 is a changed game because of the modders. I cannot imagine ever playing ME3 again without these mods. There were so many small things that I kept thinking I should take note of to talk about and I’m sure I forgot 90% of them, but there’s things like... adding in mentions of the Andromeda Initiative, closing a few plotholes, mentioning Emily Wong, adding in many more Spectre console options which end up having their own plotlines, adding in an entire plotline about the VI civilization that had previously only been talked about in like, social media or Cerberus News Network posts, having the Normandy be so much more populated, seeing so many more other species on the Citadel with more variety in clothing for those species that have clothing / could have more variety, way more female Turians.... every time I play ME3 the game is more and more like the game we wanted when it came out.

I am kind of itching to go back and replay it even now.

But hey, instead, its time to talk about Andromeda.

-------------------------

So first of all, yes, mods for Andromeda. A few appearance mods, a lot of convenience mods.

After having recently played DA:I and I think Andromeda and DA:I are a lot more similar than Andromeda and the previous trilogy, I had decided it was time to cut down on the stupid stuff Andromeda does, like “Oh, you want minerals? Spend 10 minutes in each mining zone finding the PERFECT place to gather materials or you’re fucked” No, thanks. I’ll mine but give me that “one probe placed anywhere and you’re done” mod.

Make the modifications and crafting materials I use actually matter. 2% damage increase is nothing. Make my squadmates not suck because I remember doing 90% of the work myself before and that got exhausting with the number of spawns.

I tried to not go overboard so things feel like cheating, but there’s enough out there to just get rid of the stupid stuff, and it’s nice. And works together a lot easier than the DA:I mods did.

One thing I did do was install the Multiple Romance Mod. I enjoyed it in DA:I, even though ultimately I only did 2 full romances. I am **NOT** romancing Gil or Cora with the mod, I just wanted to experience all the content available for female Ryders at once, since I’m not going to have the energy to replay this 100+ hour game enough times to see every romance on its own. So I am poly-romancing Liam, Jaal, Vetra, Suvi, Peebee, Keri, and if it lets me, Reyes when it’s time.

I’ve only gotten all the way through Andromeda once (where I romanced Liam) My second playthrough was right after my first and stalled out about halfway through (was romancing Jaal.) It was one of those “I’m totally gonna get back to this! (She didn’t.)” things. I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the Liam romance and was enjoying the Jaal romance, I’d done a fling with Reyes but not the full romance my first time through and the fling with PeeBee on my second. Reyes was probably my favorite out of all of them. So this time I decided.. let’s see which I love the most, all at once. I don’t know if I’ll do this in the future, but this game is too long to not see all the content I wanna see, TBH.

And you know, I still really do like Andromeda. It’s a GOOD game. And I’m forever going to be mad that we’re not going to see how this story ends. This story deserved to finish being told. Like, there are a lot of very legit criticisms about Andromeda, but it didn’t deserve the harshness it got. And the worst thing about it, and DA:I both is that... there’s just a little TOO MUCH of it. 100 hours is an amazing amount of game but... it’s also just too much. For now I’m not trying to 100% this playthrough. My plan is on each planet to get the planet to 100%, take out the Kett or whatever major base, the Remnant Architect, and yeah probably clear out the sidequests that show up on the map, but fuck quests that are like “visit random Kett camps until you find the right datapads that don’t show up on the map!” or “scan random blobs in the forest that don’t show up on the map!”

So like, do the content, not the filler.

I still hate the vaults. The first one is cool. The rest are tedious. But they’re mandatory.

I love everyone on this spaceship though. They did the Tempest stuff SO WELL. All the companions I think are... good? There’s no one I don’t like, even the non-squadmate shipmates ship have so much interaction and so much to do/say. It’s not like “a bunch of randos and Joker, with occasional appearances by Chakwas and the Engineers” There’s no randos, it’s just a few people you have real interactions with, and its great.

The lack of enough beds in the bedroom will never not annoy me. There’s 4 beds for... Lexi, Liam, Cora, Suvi, Kallo, Vetra and Gil? Even if Liam slept on his couch, and Vetra put a bed in her supply room... still doesn’t add up. What, do Salarains not sleep or something? Does Lexi sleep in a medical bed?!? Peebee sleeps in the escape pod, Jaal brings a bed with him, and Drack’s like “Eh I’ll just sleep in the kitchen”. WHAT? THE KITCHEN?

I mean sure there weren’t enough beds, even with the sleeper pods, on the Normandy either, but somehow that was less disturbing.

Also, I know you’re supposed to HATE Director Tann but I love Kumail Nanjiani so I find it hard to be a total dick to him, even if he usually deserves it. If he wasn’t an anti-Krogan racist I think it’d be easier to like him. He was thrown into a pretty shitty situation and... did actually hold things together for some time. He’s not doing anything out of malice. He’s a dick, but also doing what he needs to do to keep the Initiatiave going. Oh, except for being a anti-krogan racist. (Honestly, I also think “until he turned Cerberus Udina was just doing his job pretty well” too, so...)

Taking some screenshots as I go. I mostly just take screenshots for me now. I have a few thousands screenshots from a dozen or more games rotating through my desktop background, and I keep adding to it, and love it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten Eos, Voeld and Havral to 100%. Time to go save the Moeshe. I’m having fun.

*edit from later* I’d forgotten that... idk if the dialog they recorded for Jaal was the first thing they recorded for him or they used a different VA or what but on the Save the Moshe mission his voice is VERY DIFFERENT and oh man, that is still bad.

Might take a break for when Onslaught comes out for SWTOR, though. I haven’t really played SWTOR in months. Oops.

#personal post tag thingy #annakie's mass effect stuff #doctor who stuff #hey this gets REAL RAMBLY sorry not sorry

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neshabeingchildish · 5 years

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10. Swellview Stats

So, I decided to do a little more Charlotte’s inner thoughts in this chapter. I know I did a touch here and there last chapter, but more in this one. It’s in Italics. Edit: You may have missed Ch. 9, because its an audio post instead of a text post. So, you’ll have to read that one before this one. It don’t look like the other ones.

Swellview Stats

Swellview might as well be a Utopia for simple minded individuals and intellects who gave up being competitive in the wide world. We have some of the safest neighborhoods, because of a couple of reasons. One of them is the Man Team. The other is the fact that our villains are stupid. Honestly, our townsfolk are stupid, too. There's probably a handful of brain cells in Swellview that get lent around for convenience, and a select few absolute geniuses who just got stuck here because they were born here and staying was too easy. I can't be one of those geniuses. The last time there was a murder in Swellview was like 35 years ago and it was accidental. There are often injuries as a result of chaotic driving or Captain Man goofing up a rescue, but statically, Swellview is a safe and comfortable place. Do I love safety? Yes. Do I love comfort? More than anyone I know! Can I settle for being the best in my field when my counterparts would never even rank in the country? Why would I?

I'm Charlotte Page. I aspire to be Dr. Charlotte Page, a Renaissance woman who specializes in every letter of STEAM, focusing on biomedical engineering… she looked at her boyfriend, shoving oversized eggs into his mouth while the rest of the guys counted, "8,9.." she got up, shaking her head and left the table.

She already had a dozen acceptance letters for colleges, was already taking some courses and had finished a couple of programs via Swellview University while she was in school. She had all of her graduation credits last year. She was going to graduate early, but decided to just get additional high school transcripts dings, and start college low-key, to transition a little better afterwards.

Besides, her work in the Man Cave was excellent practice for the work that she would be doing in her near future. She was thinking by 21, she'd have her first degree and probably be able to design electrical circuits, software to run medical equipment, or computer simulations to test new drug therapies. She'd want to try out a tech position at a renowned lab, but might have to settle for something more subtle because she'd still be working on her education, too.

By 23, she should be able to finally make a move towards the lab of her choice with the previous lab work experience and her highest degree completed."Hey, Charlotte! Jasper just stuffed 12 eggs into his mouth!" Henry bragged and stuck his tongue out laughing. "Then he swallowed them whole!"

"What?" She asked turning to the table again.

"Just gulped 'em down his gullet!" Ray cheered.

"Jasper?" Charlotte fussed. "You KNOW that eating that many boiled eggs will give you painful gas!"

Jasper said to the guys at the table, "Hey. How many farts you guys think I'll make when these eggs give me gas?" They started giving out numbers.

Charlotte folded her arms and glared at him, shaking her head. Henry was grateful HE wasn't the one getting the look this time. In fact, those looks seemed to be reserved for her boyfriend these past few weeks. She definitely loved him. Henry knew she did, because why else on Earth would that match even take place. But, he also realized that she had buttons. Buttons that Jasper pushed with childlike wonder, with enthusiasm that seemed to ask, "What does this one do?" Henry offered some intervention in saying, "Charlotte, you are dating a legend. A Man Cave legend. Nobody makes stats like Jasp does in this place."

"And what are these stats good for?" She asked Henry.

Ray intercepted, "Allow me." He grabbed a remote control and pressed a button, which revealed a chart of really stupid things (like how many punches in the belly you can take), and a points system. Jasper was in the lead. She was in last place.. in a contest that she didn't even know could happen, with points mainly for dodging certain death during Ray's irresponsible tantrums or something. "Yes, stare in awe," Ray told her.

"Awe is definitely a word," she said. She sighed, shook her head and said, "I'm going up into the store, before the gas and fart counting begins…" She heard a loud noise and saw Henry's distorted face.

Ray cheered, "Too late." And she was gone. Up the tube gone. She wasn't even gonna stay at work if this is what they were doing with their time.

Jasper was really sweet. Whenever it was the two of them, she was the only person in the world. Whenever they were with their friends, he was still sweet, but… they brought out the oaf in him. Now… as a friend of all of these people, she couldn't be too judgy. And nobody MADE her say yes to Jasper. She just wished that his best round of friends weren't.. this.

She was thinking about the upcoming college years and he was literally making a game out of his flatulence. The most frustrating thing about that was that Jasper isn't even a fart humor type person! He finds that gross and childish!! But, whenever it's the guys, he's onboard for childish shenanigans. Unless he's pretending to be more mature when he's with her. Then, that's false advertising, and she'd feel bamboozled. BUT then, if THAT was the case.. she would have to admit to being outsmarted by JASPER! Charlotte let out an aggravated squeal and frightened a lady and her dog walking by. They went to the other side of the street and she kept going, feeling awkward.

Piper was home, so she stopped by. "Hey… I wanted to vent to someone about Jasper…"

Piper raised her palm and said, "Let me give you a little disclaimer. Whatever it is that you have to say, my perpetual thought will be, "What did you expect when you started going out with Jasper?"

"Fair enough. Can I begin?" Piper sat down and Charlotte joined her on the couch. "So.. I know that Jasper's a little bit offbeat."

"What an understatement."

"He's honestly not as stupid as people think. He's very good at listening. He is insightful when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He gives excellent pep talks and sometimes pretty good advice, if he understands all of the details. He's an honest, loyal, and caring friend and has been a very thoughtful boyfriend."

"So, this is gushing and not venting? Balls." Piper flopped back, prepared to listen to Jasper praise that she didn't ask for.

"No. That was the good stuff that I have to get out of the way before I complain to him about what I can't stand, unless I want to see him cry!"

"You.. say all of that before you get to your point? And he listens?"

"Jasper feeds off of compliments. They open him up fully and then you can slide in the complaints. Only thing is that I knew he was the guy that he is and it's not fair to expect him to change, but.. Shouldn't he want to? Wouldn't you rather do anything else in the world than count farts with your friends, when you have an awesome girlfriend who's also around?"

"I would rather do anything else if I was as lonely as an old lady in a house thought to be haunted. But, I'm not Jasper. And like you said, you knew he was an idiot from the moment he first opened his mouth. We all did. I knew he was an idiot from the moment my memory formed as a toddler and he was at our house in all his stupid glory."

"But he's not stupid! That's the problem. He's ignorant about a lot. He's naive. He doesn't always think things through. But… have you ever seen him plan something out for a date? Or heard him talk to a little kid? Jasper is definitely unique, but I think he could do anything he puts his mind to. I just wish he'd put his mind to things that matter."

"Do you ever suggest these things?"

"Yeah, but I can't control him!"

Piper laughed, "Oh, Charlotte. I keep forgetting that this is your first boyfriend. Of course you can control him. Jasper is… what's a word that you won't refute?... Impressionable. Make better impressions. Lemme see your phone."

Charlotte reluctantly handed it over and Piper read out loud as she typed, "Shame that you didn't want to hang with me today. Gonna have to pick out new undies by myself. Sad face emoji."

"What?"

"Send."

"WHAT?"

Piper held a hand up to her, then pointed to the phone to show her Jasper was typing. "I would chop off the entire bottom half of my body to be included in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Too late. But, hope that the fart counting went well. Maybe, if you're more considerate later, I'll text you pix of my choices."

"Don't send that!"

"Send."

Charlotte snatched her phone from Piper, but Piper bent over her to see Jasper's next response, "Okay… I didn't mean to be inconsiderate? Next time, I'll check to see if you need anything from me before being stupid with the guys all day." Charlotte shook her head and said, "That's unfair to play him like that."

"Are you mad at me, Babe?" Jasper wondered.

Charlotte: No. That was Piper. I let her see my phone.

Jasper: Ok… but… did you tell her that stuff about me?

Charlotte: I said some things, but…He called. She groaned and answered, "Hey. Sorry about that…"

"Hey… if I'm doing something wrong, you can just tell me. You don't have to go to Piper."

"I came here just to vent."

"About me?"

"A little."

"Vent to me. Tell me what's wrong." She began to give out her list of compliments, but he cut her off, "Charlotte. I said tell me what's wrong. I know that you like and respect me. There's no other reason that you'd date me. What's your beef, though? What did you have to vent about?"

She sighed and laid on the couch as she talked. Piper hung around, listening to the end of the chat as she used her own cell phone. "I just feel like you would rather be doing senseless things with the guys at work than anything with me."

"I feel like I do a lot with you and that I've hardly hung out with them in the past few weeks, but I'll try to be more mindful about things. I don't want you having to vent about me."

"I… shouldn't have said anything."

"How else could I know? I'm not intuitive." She frowned. "Hey, pretty girl. Smile. Don't stress about it. You didn't say yes to a caveman. I just like to relax with my bros sometimes and that can't change. You smiling?"

"Yeah," she lied.

"No you're not. That's not your smiling voice."

Now, she was smiling, "Thought you said you weren't intuitive."

"There it is!" He cheered. "I'm not intuitive. I just really know you. Not enough to read your mind, but enough to hear that smile."

She smiled even wider and said, "You irritate me."

"Maybe. But not right now. Otherwise, you wouldn't be smiling so much." They both held the phone a while and Jasper asked in a low, soft voice, "You love me, right?"

"I've never said that," she said.

"That wasn't a no!" He said and she could swear… she could swear that she could hear him smiling. "I love you too." He hung up the phone and she nudged Piper with her foot.

"You're welcome," Piper said.

Swellview is not so much "Home Sweet Home" as it is, a safe place with sweet people that you could get used to. Crime rates are fairly high, but the crimes are pretty safe. The news is hilarious. You can just walk right into a friend's home and their door is probably open, and their family probably treats you like you're a part of theirs. It's a good place to meet the love of your life, even. Maybe not so much to stay there with them, though. I don't know how to ask Jasper what's going to happen when we graduate. I don't know how to even suggest that he come with me. I have no idea if he'll even want something more than Swellview. I have no idea if he thinks that I'm something more than Swellview.

#A Chasper Fic #chasper #henry danger #hd fanfic #Nesha HD Fics

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 5 years

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Persona 5 Problems: “Goro can’t escape Shido” doesn’t make sense

Might be a pt 1. But before I get into it, what I mean here is “Goro can’t escape Shido” doesn’t makes sense in the context of the characters interactions that we see nor the rules or the world we see in Persona 5.”

I probably could title this as “Atlus doesn’t know how to utilize it’s Metaverse and everything around it is shit pt 1: In relation to Goro” but that’d be too long, and it gives you more insight on what’s in store. 8U

Also this isn’t to rag on Goro, but the failure of the writing with P5. I mean I hate Goro, partially for his writing partially for how I think he’s a jerk and not in a fun way (cause I do like characters who are jerks but he just doesn’t jive with me)....this for full transparency (esp if you are new). 8U That being said I wont’ tag it as Goro cause I’m not a jerk, I’ll tag it as anti I guess but...........yeah in retrospect after typing this I do kinda take a dump on his writing so anti tag it is. 0u0

Now why arm I talking about this? Well a new chapter of P5MM came up and.....well this picture appeared:

Now I love Saito, the manga is pretty good, so this is nothing against Saito. My issue is.....I guess the over victimization of Goro esp when it 1) makes no sense and 2) is contradictory.

Now do I think an antagonist that is a victim doesn’t make sense? No. What doesn’t make sense is that P5 doesn’t bother to develop it. P5 throws out the bare minimum of hints all while making NO SENSE how that could work. So fans have to fill in the blanks, and that’s either making him more sympathetic or like me who’s either deciding to start master blasting holes everywhere or is ready to throw this suit case out all together.

I know a lot of fans, and adaptations (such as this) kinda lean towards making Goro more sympathetic. I DON’T BLAME THEM. Like I said, there’s a lot of holes to fill in. And one of them is his relationship with Shido, something VERY crucial to the plot and is.....glossed over with like a few min worth of dialogue.

Anyway what am I getting at? The issue that annoys me a lot, and that was shown in this picture that hair-triggered me into wanting to write this, was the fact “Goro is being controlled by Shido/Goro has no power and Shido has his claws into him/Goro can’t escape Shido.” As seen in the pictured above, you see Goro has hands to his throat and Shido has an overwhelming presence. Goro is trapped by Shido. And a lot of people will agree with this. It’s understandable because the game half assidly will say things like “you know what happens to people who defy me!” and basically threatening Goro’s life. EXCEPT IT’S ALL BULLSHIT!

“Woah that’s a little extreme what do you mean?” I mean it, Goro is not being controlled by Shido. It’s annoying P5 even INSINUATES that possibility in its writing! It makes no sense for Goro to be the powerless one here, not with the game we were given. And it’s amazing this wasn’t caught in the writers room. This is how that scene should’ve gone down given what we know:

Shido: You know what happens to people who oppose me! Goro: Yeah motherfucker, you send me! What do you want me do? Kill myself? What are you a 14 year old troll on the internet? Do you want me to kill you for threatening me-you scrotum looking asshole?

Just freaking think about it, Shido or his confidants want a breakdown? Send Goro. They want a shutdown or to possibly kill someone? Send Goro. What the fudge is Shido doing threatening the guy who does his dirty work? Is he gonna kill him himself? No. Shido is a gd moron.

“But what about the cleaner guy?” Great question! And here’s my answer! What about him? No seriously what could anyone but the PT or a god do to Goro? Nothing.

“But how is that nothing?!” Easy, Goro can take him out, breakdown or shutdown, before he could hurt Goro. If Shido sic’d anyone on Goro, Goro could easily take down Shido, the cleaner, and anyone related to either who know they should take Goro down. All thanks to the Metaverse. And because of that “Goro is trapped by Shido because he’s threatening Goro with death” is such a BS excuse by the game.

“But what about Shido’s knowledge of the Metaverse? Didn’t he say he could utilize it?” Yeah what about it? The game doesn’t showcase HIM using the Metaverse. He always sends Goro. Which is REALLY FREAKING WEIRD considering he still acts this way, knowing full well Goro is missing. Like how are you going to do it Shido???? 1) you need an app first and foremost, 2) you’ll need a Persona or else you’ll get rekt’d! YOUR LOGIC MAKES NO SENSE! And him knowing about how the Meteverse works is just bs plot device so that we can shoo away how he could believe Goro in the first place let’s be honest.

The only people who use the Metaverse that we don’t know how they got there was the SWAT team that busted the MC, and while not explained it’s possible Goro had something to do with it (either giving someone his phone, since multiple people can go in with just one phone). That’s the only thing that makes sense, since only app users (aka PT+Goro) can got to that world. Tho the cut content seem to indicate even the police don’t know:

And it seems that you only get the app if you have a Persona (minus Goro, MC, and Futaba), cause that’s what Yadly wants:

(btw Ryu’s first pic is pre awakening and the 2nd is post awakening, Futaba’s the only one to get her’s before her Persona with the exception of Goro/MC, but Yadly must’ve thought she was useful or some shit judging by his dialogue early on in the game XP)

But yeah, bringing this up because it’s relevant to know who can and who can’t use the Metaverse. Goro CAN. Shido/Shido’s confidants CANNOT. Goro has the advantage. Shido does not. Goro holds all the cards. Shido’s a gd moron.

As for how Goro could end Shido and his Confidants. If for some reason Goro doesn’t know some of Shido’s confidants JUST BY WORKING WITH THEM, then he can find out through Shido’s Palace. Shido’s Palace literally contains every single one of his CoOps in Cognition form. Which means he probably knows their name, and all Goro really needs is a name cause that’s the hard part. Once he interrogates all the Cognitions and Shadow Shido, he takes Shadow Shido out, go after the real CoOps’ shadow, interrogates them (plus cognitions if they have a palace), and work his way down the latter until know one is after him. He can also squat in the Metaverse if for some reason the heat is really on him, and what’s the worse that could happen? They get pulled in with him? Well that’s bad....FOR THEM! Cause Goro has more powers there, his Persona, he’s stronger and more durable. There’s really no losing here.

So again, one last time. “SHIDO’S THREATS ON GORO’S LIFE MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE GORO HAS THE POWER TO END SHIDO NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!”

“Well what about his strangle on giving Goro affection?” Ok, ngl....been awhile....but I legit have NO RECOLLECTION of Goro or Shido showing any possible fatherly affection. I feel like I’ve seen more of the fans make this argument then the game. If the game did then it was just....such a throwaway line, and it’s a classic “P5 tell don’t show” move. Coupled with how contradictory the writing is with the way the story is built (like show literally above in how Goro’s life should not be threatened like AT ALL). P5 goes out of its way to show how much Goro HATES Shido and HE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM GO DOWN! That doesn’t seem like someone hesitating cause he wants a hug from daddy. The only reason he waits so long was because he wanted him to be prime minister (or just close to election) and then bring him down from the highest pedestal. THAT’S IT. He has so much more backing that then “I really wanted a daddy figure that gave me pats on the head and told me I was a good boy.” If P5 WAS going for that then they did an even piss poor job than with the issue above.

And listen, I’m NOT saying that’s not something that couldn’t have happened, I’m saying the writing makes it not really support it or have it make sense. (edit: after typing this I vaguely recalled Shido saying that all Shido had to do was tell Goro he was a good boy and he thought he had him wrapped around his finger-of course this could’ve just been a tumblr post I read that’s how much I remember Shido praising Goro XP, and lkfsd;lakvl;vs this is soooooo batshit all over the place, are you controlling him with fear of death or love???? cause neither are working here bro. Btw at the bottom I go into a route in which this COULD work, but it means dropping the whole fear of death bs argument I made at the very beginning, and even then it’s not Shido actually controlling Goro, it’s him thinking he does.)

And if anyone says “What about destroying his career and social-hood by revealing Goro is a bastard?” And give Goro the platform, the audiences’ full attention for him to be like “YEAH AND GUESS WHO MY DAD IS?! :D” Like, considering Shido figured out Goro was his son, it’d be even more stupid of him to think he could do that when it’d be social suicide for him. As for Goro? That was his plan all along, nothing to lose! Maybe it’s not as high of a fall that he wanted, but he’s still bringing him down!

Now despite this rant, I’m NOT saying Goro isn’t a victim. As a bastard/foster child in Japan, he is a victim for their horrible treatment towards that group. That can’t be argued and in all honesty if it was just that I’d be happy. What I don’t think he is a victim of is Shido, at least beyond the parental abandonment (he is a victim for his dad being horrible and not marrying his mother and stuff like that OBVIOUSLY), by Shido I mean the Conspiracy related stuff. Making it out so that Shido controlled Goro the whole time, that Goro had no agency, that Goro couldn’t oppose him. That’s what I hate. I hate how people make him such a woobie victim when....he very well probably wasn’t. When he made Goro kill, it’d make more sense for Goro to be scared of losing his connection to Shido (aka not being able to monitor him and continue his plan) than be scared Shido might kill him (I mean he had freaking superpowers what the fudge?). But if people looked at it like that then Goro would be more in the wrong no? Choosing to value his goals of revenge over other’s? Maybe he didn’t want to kill but he still CHOSE because his own goals meant more than someone else’s life. But noooooo that would hurt him being a victim right? We need to make it all Shido’s fault! Goro did nothing wrong! Right? So we made it seem like Shido could threaten Goro’s life, make it a kill or be killed situation, even when it made no sense.

I think Goro could been good, could’ve been complex. A boy who was an abandon bastard son of a politician, mistreated and abused by society until teenhood, suddenly granted the power to get revenge on his father, and going to any lengths, even if it broke his own moral code, because he was that dedicated to bringing down someone? That’s interesting, it’s simple. But “ A boy who was an abandon bastard son of a politician, mistreated and abused by society until teenhood, suddenly granted the power to get revenge on his father, forced to go to any lengths because he ended up in a trap by said father he wants to take down, even if it MIGHT (cause Atlus be chickens and “ambiguous”) be against his own moral code but like he’s being forced by his dad so is it really his fault? That? Fudge that. That’s needlessly confusing, it’s bending itself all out of shape to try to purify this character....and I hate it.

There’s also the weird contradiction on Shido’s end where it’s like “He’s super paranoid that he kills people, and he doesn’t trust Goro since he plans to kill him, but he trusts him enough for certain things that he doesn’t need to double check on himself even if it poses a threat to him like I dunno checking IF THE GD MC BODY IS DEAD?! >:(”

I dunno, I just think Goro having the strongest conviction to take down Shido (even killing because he wants to take him down so badly for what he did), with Shido not knowing Goro is his son and actually trusting him (with maybe gaining suspicions later towards the end for plot drama) because he’s so confident he groomed Goro into being his perfect little follower, is just so much more interesting? Goro is still a victim, but he’s not the perfect or “bending the character out of shape” to be perfect victim. He was hurt horribly and chose to deal with it in an....unhealthy way. It also makes the two seem reasonable, Shido thinks he’s in control because he took this starry eyed follower under his wing not because he’s threatening him with violence. Even tho we know Shido isn’t in control, Goro just likes to think he’s in control.

;tldr: I hate how people (and even Atlus/the game) try to twist Goro into being this perfect victim, all while saying “well he does do bad things but it’s because of Shido!” instead of letting Goro be accountable and have it make logical sense in the game (because the game is a hot garbage mess).

So yeah this concludes a 5 am rant I started yesterday. 8U

#persona 5 #p5 #anti-goro akechi #anti goro akechi #anti goro #anti-goro #this doesn't even cover the possibility that goro's real personality might be 100% shit bag and might be fine with killing #queue #q #random hyper focusing at 5 am woot 8U #persona problems #persona 5 problems #again this is more an issue with the illogical and inconsistent writing in P5

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

Text

Win Life - Gerry x Reader (Mississippi Grind)

Authors Note: I’ve been wanting to use that stupid card image for years! And now I finally can! You know, when Mississippi Grind ended I sat there for a good five minutes wondering how that could possibly be it. Like, I need a wrap up / sequel! Then I started thinking about what could happen... This fic has elements of that story in it but is very much its own thing. I can’t stand that I didn’t know what happened to Gerry but also that the more I thought on it the more I wondered if it could possibly have a happy ending? Anyway, I read a post on Tumblr quoted as saying Gerry wouldn’t even make it out of State with the money. Which I thought was kinda harsh on him. So here. I wrote our boy an ending.

The cat was meant to be a big part of it, then she kinda became an add on but I didn’t have the heart to take her out...!!

Disclaimer: You know when you sing songs, look up the lyrics and go ‘Really?! Those can’t be the lyrics!?’ Well, I edited the lyrics here. So, apologies Luke Bryan. But mine are better for the #Context. I don’t own any characters except for the Reader. I’ve also never been gambling/played cards soooo... You’re just gonna have to take what I’ve written for those parts, ok?

Premise: Months after his encounters with Curtis are over, Gerry meets another mysterious stranger. She’s got big ideas and they all include him. Maybe just once his luck won’t actually leave...

Word Count: 8330

Warnings: Gambling / Drinking

Been in a couple scrapes, I barely got out of Got a couple scars, I kinda ain't proud of But you can't be afraid to drive until the gas tank's empty And if your glass is half full, you better make damn sure it's whiskey!

And be more drunk in love and habits kicked More miracles than magic tricks More green grass grows than green on dollar bills More babies raised, than raising hell More get back ups than times you fell, Well, I don't know it all, Hey, but I know how it feels, To be the guy that's trying to come back from behind, Still trying to win life

But if you lose yourself in someone else Than maybe you don't lose at all...

---

Read this like snippits from a road trip. It’s by no means the whole story. But it is the important points.

Gerry thought he might have noticed her before. She looked out of place here. Sharp dressed, standing against a car... and watching him?? He had thought so before. Today she was standing with a white cat on her shoulder. If she wasn’t looking at him, then it was all too much of a strange coincidence... He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and focused on his coffee.

You looked from the photograph, to him, and back again. He had to be the guy... You looked to your cat and constant companion. “Gotta be him...” You were as relieved as you were surprised that he’d be exactly where Curtis said he would be. It meant you wouldn’t have to track him around the country. You put her back in the car and crossed to the little cafe.

“Gerry?” Her voice was smooth and silky sending an odd sensation across his skin as he looked up to her. Clearly, she was looking for him. “Yes?” Why was she looking for him exactly? Was the question.

You gave a sweet smile; he was a heck of a lot cuter in real life than the picture made him out to be. Maybe Curtis sending you here was going to turn out better than you’d thought. “Thank goodness. I’m Y/N! May I sit?” He nodded, his glance at you nervous. Probably because everyone else in the cafe was now craning to see exactly why you we’re talking to him. You did so, and to save him from looking any more shy than he did, you cut right to it;

“Curtis sent me all the way up here to check on you... “ You smiled “his heart always was in the right place...” He instantly relaxed at a name he recognised “Curtis sent you!? How’s he doing?!” You nodded “Very well. Yeah, but he’s much more concerned with how you are doing...” “I’m okay.” You didn’t believe that for a second with the way he said it. “He says, sounding the most un-OK anyone has ever sounded...?” You tilted your head “... I knew he wouldn’t ask me to do this if he wasn’t concerned. From what I observed, you do seem to be... Ok. But you don’t sound it...” Something was going on behind the front he was trying to put up. But you’d become extremely good at reading those. He sighed “Yeah I’ve noticed you...” You smiled as he continued “You’re not exactly hard to spot in a town like this... if you wanted to be more inconspicuous...” You shrugged “It’s not about me...” “Why did he send you?” “I just observe things.” True enough. “Did he pay you?” Then he looked like that wasn’t the correct thing to imply. “I owe him a favour ...” You decided to answer as if it wasn’t a yes/no question. Gerry made a face like he accepted it, although he didn’t have much of a choice. “Excuse me. Can I get you anything?” The waitress came over, looking like she’d draw the short straw, and looked between you and Gerry for far too long. “Coffee would be great. Black, please.” She hesitated for a second, but when it was clear you weren’t going to continue until she was gone, she had to concede. “So,” He stirred his own drink with a smile “she likes her coffee black and her cats white...” He’d noticed. Good. “Sookie? Yeah, she accompanies me around everywhere.” “Sookie?” “You’re clearly not a True Blood fan!” You laughed “Is she part of your investigation on me too?” He’d be surprised how much you could gauge from that; “No. She’s helpful, from time to time...” you paused your sentence as the waitress brought your coffee, and you stirred in a healthy amount of sugar. “You’re a cat person too.” He opened his mouth to answer, when he realised it wasn’t a question. “I own a cat. Yeah...”

You nodded, there was of course going to always be something you liked about him. You were starting to think that this might have been a set-up. And a couple of days from now Curtis’d be calling and laughing in your face. Only, you also felt he might have a point here. You took a sip and looked to Gerry again, he couldn’t hold your gaze very well. Probably because he knew why Curtis would send you, and you were about to start asking the difficult questions. “Did it help?” You didn’t start where he expected “W-what?” “The money. Did it help?” “...With... what?” That was a No. Clear as day. “... There’s not a lot I don’t know about you from Curtis, Gerry. Just answer the question. At least tell me you got out of State...?” He caught on quick, thankfully. “... I got all the way back here...” Curtis had more faith in him than you did. “And then?” “It helped for a little while... Yeah...” He’d started with child support, because he wanted to see his daughter again. He’d started paying debts off, but that always led to tables and... Well, here he was.

You answered your mobile with a roll of your eyes; “So how is he?” “He needs a lot more work than you think he does...” A sigh followed “Can you do it?” “I don’t know Curtis... There’s a difference between trying and doing, and I can try.” “You gotta do more than try!! Tell me it isn’t all gone.” “You can’t fix him by gambling. You’re asking me to fix him by having him gamble for it...” “Because you CAN fix him.” “Why? Because he’s my type? I’m starting to think you’ve sent me to fix something else.” There was an awkward pause but you could hear his cheeky smirk “Maybe. Maybe not. IS it all gone?” “No. But he’s gotta be sensible.” “You’re the only one I know that KNOWS how to walk away.” “On one condition will I do this.” “I thought I already agreed to all your conditions” “When I walk away, you have to give up on him Curtis. If I can’t fix this... It needs to go professional and you’re gonna let me do that. Also. I’m not playing a table with him or for him.” “No I NEED you to play it for him.” “Curtis it’s his life! It’s not yours! It’s not mine. I can’t tell him how to play.” “Please. Can you just... you need to teach him when to walk away.” “You’re asking me to teach him to walk away from his gut instinct and he won’t like that.” “Teach him to have better gut instinct!” You breathed out a heavy sigh; yeah like that was easy...

*** "So..." You were starting to make a quick habit out of meeting in this coffee shop. He noticed today you had dressed down considerably though. He also noticed how you only ever ordered a black coffee, and that left him wondering what you did the rest of the day when you weren't talking to him. "... I cannot imagine roadtripping with Curtis. And neither can I imagine you roadtripping with Curtis. What is that even like!?" You leant on your hand, clearly amused. “It was a lot of good fun. When we were winning." but he grinned "Or maybe it was just a lot of good fun! Y'know, he's a good guy.” "Yeah I know." you agreed "He'd just really get on my nerves. Knows how to push my buttons too well. Maybe you're just what he needed..." Someone with a calm demeanour, a little on the shy side. But could play, and that Curtis could help out. A drifter he may have been but, he always loved helping people. "Maybe he's just what I needed too. " You could imagine that, Gerry looked like the kind of guy who needed ANYBODY at any given time. And, apparently, now he needed you. But, you weren't for thinking that you couldn't use him too… "Would you ever consider doing it again?" "Doing what?" He squinted as he searched you for an answer, that made you wonder how good he was at reading people. If he played, then he should at least have an inkling. "Another road trip?" "That'd be fun yeah." But the look on your face made him realise you were serious "Oh!! Wi- With you!?" You nodded slowly "First we have to get your game up a little… I've got a plan. And I'd like for you to hear it, but I need you to trust me first... And I gotta be able to trust you." "What's wrong with my game?" You smirked "First off. You gotta know when to quit. I've been assured that's a problem. And I can't afford to do this with someone who won’t cash out. Because, believe it or not, it’s the money we need. A small cash out is better than nothing. Or worse, losing it. Second, you gotta play like the people you'll be playing against. Not just the way you play. You have to be adaptable..." He raised an eyebrow, "You think I can't adapt my game?" "I don't think you've ever tried. Play the table. Not the cards!" "I know how to play a table..." "No you don't, not the way I'm going to teach you." "I do! I'm good at reading people." he tilted his head "Okay. Not you and Curtis... You're so alike it's scary but... Everyone else..." You smiled, it was something you wanted to hear "Gerry, what are you gonna do if you end up facing up against a table of people like me and Curtis. How are you gonna win then?" He didn't look like he had an answer for that, but at least you smiled at him "Don't worry. I'll help you with that..." ***

All at once you could see why he had several problems. Currently you were sitting around a table, you and him going through a bunch of scenarios. You'd recruited some ‘friends’ of yours, that Gerry thought you were using the term ‘friends’ loosely for, specifically so they could help out...

The scenario work was actually pretty good. He could certainly talk the talk, and well. Everything you threw at him he could give you a good comeback. And when it was just you vs him at cards that was fine too. You guessed that was because he seemed comfortable around you. And you weren't playing for anything. He didn't often lose but when he did, he would laugh at the play you made "Well! Would you look at that! That was some good bluffing!"

Around this table, you weren't playing, you were watching. The first couple of games you'd been observing the whole table. You tried not to think of the games you were used to when all three of them were making terrible decisions and getting away with them. No matter, it was good you saw Gerry’s complications now. Eventually you started directly observing him. That's what you were here for after all, and if you let him go on playing like this you weren't going to get anywhere. "Mmm." You watched his hand hover over a card. Gerry don't do that! That's dumb! When it stayed there you did it a little louder "Uh-uh." He put his hand down and looks to you "What!?" You just shook your head. You weren't going to say it out loud, but could he just read the goddamn table again!? He had a much better play. He looked back to his hand, then selected another card. Better! There we go!

This continued for another couple of games. Until you fell silent. And that was bad because then he started second guessing himself, so he started losing.

You sighed. "Hang on! Stop a minute!" They all looked to you, head in your hands "Gerry. Don't make me say it out loud..." "Yeah, I get it. You're trying to make me make better plays." "Yes..." "Well that's what I'm trying to do." "No, now you're second guessing every move you make and you're starting to lose it. Focus!" "You’re deliberately changing my game strategy. It's gonna take time!" He had a point. And you felt bad. But it was time you didn't have. "Okay... You're right, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm just trying to help you be one without being the other. I don't want you to think about every move you’re making... I'm trying to get you to play smarter! I know you can do it. And I didn’t need Curtis to tell me that. You have an answer for everything I throw at you... " You sat on the table and looked to him "But theory isn't practice. Only you also PLAY extremely well. The problem is you don't play like the people you're gonna come up against out there, and if we're gonna do this you're going to have to start. This is good. This is a good start. But you know as well as I, I can't help you out there.” "I know. And I can. " He had a defiant confidence. You liked that. And with a smile on your face, you knew he could too.

*** “Before we leave you need to do one thing for me…” “Okay…” He was just too trusting; it left you perplexed sometimes. Like you could ask him to do literally anything and he’d up and do it. You were the exact opposite; almost too careful. But his personality made sense for Curtis to take him in. Hell, you wouldn’t have come all the way here for Gerry without his guidance. “Everyone you owe. I want a list, names and amounts.” He frowned “Why?” “Why do you think we’re doing this?! I’m getting you out of debt. Well, you’re getting yourself out. But I’m going to keep track.” “So… We’re… NOT doing this for us?” “It is for you! You’re gonna get even. Which sounds like it’ll be an achievement in itself…” You looked across to him; “So do I get a list or not? Because this car doesn’t move without one. Not with you in it, anyhow.” That just made him nod vigorously “Y-Yeah I can do that.” You smiled “Excellent! See you tomorrow!” You knew you confused him by the way you went from being so serious to so cheery. But you wanted to let him know you didn’t come to mess around – or make friends. Though Gerry’s personality made that second statement increasingly hard.

*** After the first few table runs, which had been admittedly shaky even when he wasn’t playing with his own money, Gerry seemed to get the hang of following your lead. And your presence seemed to have the Curtis effect on him. He wondered if he’d perhaps stumbled across another Rainbow, or, one had so happened to find him… As he was playing at home, on familiar territory, and learning – you were letting him keep the money for himself. Hopefully your influence was doing some good. You hadn’t exactly told him how to spend it. You just hoped the answer was wisely. You’d imparted the importance of the list to him, so hopefully he’d been savvy enough to get started. Every win he made boosted his confidence; you just made sure to ground him. You knew sitting around afterwards critiquing his moves put a dampener on things, but you didn’t want him to get over confident. OR get to the stage where he thought he couldn’t lose. The key was to have him cash out, not to go so far he lost it all again. So when the time finally rolled around, he actually looked surprised; “You played well tonight. It was good to see!” Wait, you’d just paid him a compliment!? “I think you’re ready!” “For the road trip!?” “Mm hmm…! If you’re still up for it?” He laughed “Yeah! Yes! Absolutely! It’ll be good for a change of scenery! We… uhm… taking your car?” “Unless there’s a problem with that?” “Nope. No. No problems…” “Questions?” He shook his head, but then thought on it; “When do we leave?” “Tomorrow too early?” “NO.”

*** There was quite the adrenalin rush from his first win under new management. He was pleased with himself that the hard work had paid off. You were pleased everything had worked out in his favour and your effort was not all for naught, so he didn’t end up thinking it had been a waste of time. “What do we do with all this now??” He still hadn’t quite calmed down. The win was modest, but still good. You’d picked your road trip carefully, you’d build up the amounts, the stakes and the buy ins… As long as Gerry kept winning. That was all there was to it. You pulled out the list, for once hating to bring him down even just a little bit; “We start ticking off…” “What?” “Sorry, Gerry, this is what we came for. I’m your money management.” Unsurprisingly he was reluctant to hand it over “ALL of it? You don’t need all of it!” You only made him face his own handwriting; “It’s a long list. We have a long way to go. They aren’t paying themselves!” He did so. Because again, he trusted you for some reason. You were thankful your math was good as you did a quick count and separation in your car. He watched you, fascinated, as you ticked off several names before rummaging around for research of your own and a bunch of envelopes. “Addresses!? You found addresses!?” “Yeah! I did a little research…” You smiled “I want to help. I’m sure that’s pretty unbelievable…” You had spent a lot of time pushing him. “No!” He laughed “I didn’t say that! Geez… Did you do all that in your head…?” “Easy! Easy, easy…!” You turned to him and held out a bunch of notes you’d separated; “You did very well Gerry. You earned this.” He took it from you with a grateful smile. Money that was now really his. You gave a wink; “Just don’t do anything with it I wouldn’t approve of!” *** He cashed out after you made your move. It was subtle, but significant. Why!? Why!?! There was still so much left to win here - what was he doing!? You weren't particularly sure you liked the way he looked as you as he got up either. Prompting you to follow him out of the doors into the quiet corridor. Where he almost literally turned on you; "Why did you do that!?" "Do what?" "You know what you did!" "Do you have any idea how much money you were about to lose!?" He sounded frustrated. If Gerry could get angry, then you figured this was it. "Then just let me lose!!! Y/N!! You can't fix me! Nothing can fix this!! Some guys were just born to lose!!! I'm one of them!" "How can you say that about yourself!? If you think like that you're gonna become a self-fulfilling prophecy!!" "Listen. Y/N. I won’t win by cheating. I can't do that. Winning surely isn't that important to you!?". "I'm trying to help you!" "No! No!! I don't want you to do that! I don't want to win by any means necessary...!!" "You do understand how much debt you’re in right!?" "Yeah!! You don't think I don't think about those numbers every damn second I add to them!?!?! I don't get to see my daughter BECAUSE of those numbers! But do you honestly think that when I do get to see her again I'm going to be able to look her in the eye if I cheated my way there!?! Stop it. I don't want to win this way. I might as well lose if I'm gonna win this way! If I'm going to win! If we're going to do this, we need to do it honestly!!”

There was a silence. Because you didn't think about it like that. And he was right. You were seeing numbers on a page. For you that's what this trip was about. That and your promise to Curtis. To Gerry, even though he'd agreed to those very same numbers... That wasn't why he was here. He had something else to be here for, something much more emotional. Something very real. You bit your lip "You’re right." He looked taken aback for a minute. He'd not seen you back down on an argument before "Gerry... You're... Absolutely right and I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't even think... And I knew... God... I'm..." He shook his head "I get it. We're here for different reasons. And I know what you're doing... But... Can we do this for my reasons. Not yours. I can't fight... I can't WIN for the reasons you want me too... Okay?" "Okay..." you nodded "That's fair. I… wasn't even thinking about it like that... I took away the emotional motive... I'm sorry. I guess I just don't think that way." "Maybe you should try. Getting emotional. I mean." He smiled "You have a great smile. You know sometimes I see it, and know you feel things... You can feel. You're not so hard as you look." He pointed back to the casino "Now. I think I can kinda get back on a streak with this understanding..." "Really!? Are you sure!? Gerry I don't want you just saying that!! Cause I-" "AW! C'MON! I'm not!! " He grabbed your hand with a laugh, "Let's do this. Together. Y/N! We're a team now! Remember!" ***

"Alright. Deal me in." you sat. Gerry opened his mouth to protest. Was he really doing THAT badly!?! Was this to bail him out or teach him something...? With the way you'd been going, he could only imagine that you were about to teach him something. It made his playing take a back seat. Because he was curious. He'd watched you play before, but observing you playing whilst on a table with you... Was this a test? Could he win against you or not? After a period, he just stopped trying. Your attitude was crazy. You let nearly every play show on your face. And occasionally you would mutter things to yourself. That didn't make any sense as a strategy. That was a sure-fire way to lose!!

"Okay..." Gerry was still sitting with you as the table cleared "How the HELL did you just win." "Reverse psychology." you smiled mischievously "Everyone likes watching the rest of the table. Draw on that. Every good card is terrible and every bad card is the best thing you could have been gifted? Think about that. That draws the other players to make cocky mistakes. So, when they call and you have an amazing hand despite looking like you’re gonna lose everything, not only do you get the satisfaction of winning. You get the satisfaction of wiping that cocky little smirk off their faces." You leant towards him, "Though that could just be because I'm a girl and want to take all these chauvinistic males down... I dunno. " "Is that how you always play?” "No, something I picked up." "It's how Curtis plays." "Ahhh! Yes. Very good!" "Who taught who?" He’d figured out there was no way it was coincidence. "Not a taught thing, more a collab!" He laughed "The first time I ever played him he sat at the table and said Aces are good right!" You couldn't help but laugh, yeah that sounded like Curtis. "But you don't talk. He talks. A lot." "I would talk more... I don't have anything interesting to say." "Aw. I don't know about that. I think you could teach these guys a thing or two." You almost blushed "Yeah... Maybe. But you're the only one that actually listens." He stopped, and you thought he was the one blushing "Oh. Well... I'm sorry about that..." "Don't be. You’re the only person I want to listen to me…" And you were aware of the way you'd said it. And the next look he gave you. And the way you were leaning towards him on your hands. So you leant back, "I - I mean. You know. Given the task at hand!" "W-Well yeah! I get it!" Something told you he'd 'got' a lot more than that, though...

***

When Gerry awoke, he was disoriented. None of the signs that he was seeing seemed to point to the place you’d said you were heading... He sat up and looked around for any indication of where you were “...Y/N...??” “Yes...” He could tell by your voice that he had interrupted a train of thought as you stared at the open road ahead. “...Where are we...? There are no signs for-” You smiled, still not looking at him “Detouring. Slightly. Actually, there’s a casino where we’re going, so, I’m helping you a little.” “Where we detouring to??” You had said slightly, so you must have been close to your meticulously planned route. “...Home.” You said it softly. “Home? Your home!?” You nodded, eyes flicking to the sleeping cat in the back seat; “It’ll be good to have a base for a couple of days if nothing else. Regroup... Take stock... Go back to playing mid-tables. I think I better give you some low stakes and remind you sometimes this is fun, not always hard work.” He shook his head “No! no! This - This is fun!!” He made you laugh with how quick he was to defend the whole trip. He was so sweet and had one heck of a big heart. You couldn’t help it nor deny it, you were falling for him pretty damn hard.

When he was here with you in your car, or anywhere that wasn’t a table, he was perhaps one of the sweetest men you’d ever met. All be it with one of the biggest gambling problems you’d ever seen. But when he was at a table, playing, it was like something switched on. All that assured confidence when he had a good hand or things were just generally swaying in his direction. From the way he spoke to the way he sat, it wasn’t sweet - it was damn near sexy.

What was the phrase... Get you a man who can do both? *** You pulled up outside the house and could instantly tell Gerry was staring at the car in the driveway; "Uuhhhhh...!!!" You shook your head at him, "Pretend you didn't see it...!" you grinned "W-W-Why? It's..." His chuckle was nervous "It's gorgeous." "I know. Why do you think I drive around in this one!" You shook the top of his arm playfully and turned to your cat, "Sookie!" She mewled, jumping onto your lap from the back seat, nuzzling your face playfully. "Okay...Okay... Say goodbye to Gerry too, we've got work to do..." She purred louder as Gerry ran a hand through her fur; "You really are a cat person. Thank God..." "I wasn't lying!" "Why did Curtis not mention this to me...?" "Uh. Probably because it’s not something I mentioned to him." "He's a dog person, right." You opened your car door "Is he?" "Oh yeah." Sookie pushed herself against Gerry’s hand in goodbye, before leaping from the car; "She'll be okay for a while..." "Where are we going?" "That dumb casino around here is open 24 hours. Essentially because there are people that never leave..." You looked across to Gerry "That means we can score twice the amount here. But it's OK, you can take a break. Watching you keeps giving me the itch to play. And as we have a bunch of other things to do..." You gave a shrug "I figure I can help you out a bit. Best night is Friday night though, and tomorrow night is pay day." "...You've thought about this." You gave a cheeky grin; "Yeah. So you can scope the place! See! Gerry! Teamwork!"

He watched you from across the casino. Not only did you have a completely different way of playing than he did. NOW you had a completely different way of playing than you were teaching him. Your strategy reminded him a lot of Curtis when he talked. You’d switched completely from how quiet you’d been a few cities ago. You knew these people, he guessed, they greeted your presence warmly. It was easy for you to switch to something new. He also wondered if it was another confusion tactic; because you still seemed to win nearly every hand. He was only half paying attention to the machines and he almost wanted to join the table if only to get a feel for what you were doing. So he could hear every word you said - he wondered if you even talked like Curtis when you played like this. You were interrupted by someone tapping you on the shoulder and beckoning you away from the table. You nodded and followed him across the bar. Gerry noticed how he tried to inconspicuously point him out. But then made it blatant as you looked across to him, nudged their arm and said something that made both of you laugh. Then as they continued talking your face became serious. You got this look he'd seen before - and if he was close enough he thought he might be able to see the idea sparking in your eyes too. The way you leant into the conversation with interest... The machine he was sitting at beeped - jackpot! - Eh, voila! Just like a rainbow... "What?" "Have you seen this guy? I mean... Careful... He's not one I've seen before." You looked across and Luke scowled like you shouldn't be being so obvious "Gerry?! What, no, he's with me… What, is he watching me!? AM I that interesting!?" "Oh, he's interested in something alright." "Damn. Well what do you think? Am I in with a shot?" Luke’s yeah right laugh made you burst into laughter too. "Anyway. Y/N I didn't call you over just because of this guy... There’s another big game going on." "Like. A game?" "Yes; buy in is a few damn million though. Guys only. That’s your problem." You were beginning to think that might not actually be a problem... "It’s not something that isn’t fixable. When?" "Few weeks. If you want in, I've got a connection." "Well that’s what I like to hear Luke. Sure. I'm in. Winner takes all the buy in?" "Of course. No trace. No questions asked..." He held out his hand; "As whom?" You gave him a wide grin and shook it, as if your male partner was not obvious "Gerry." *** "Aw Geez!" Of all people to be fawning over your cat on your front porch as you drove up; Curtis!? "When the hell did you get back!?" "Aww it's good to see you too, gorgeous!" He wasn't looking at you though, "You changed the damn locks." "Yeah, it's my house. Jackass." You whistled Sookie over "And leave my cat alone!" "Our cat! What the heck are you even doing home!?!" "Fixing your mess!" You jabbed a finger at him, ascending the steps "She has never been YOUR cat." You swiped your card and inserted your key into the lock. "You upgraded security!?" he whined, "You’re still damn beautiful!" "Don't make this weird. I don't let just ANY man into my house." "…And whhhat mess!?" He made a shrug like he didn’t know what you were talking about. "Curtis!?!" "Gerry!?" He turned eyes wide and then turned back to you; "ANY man!?!" "Why don't you get reacquainted. I'm just doing my job..." "I just made a suggestion..." "Yeah, yeah..." You waved a hand "That's always how it starts!" They followed you up the steps into your house. You picked up your post and flicked through; "I swear to god if you sent anything here I'll kill you myself...” "Why would I!?" "You two live together??" Gerry was piecing together the wrong pieces of information. And it clearly left him disappointed… "Curtis doesn't live anywhere." "Why are you always so ANGRY with me!?" You laughed, because he should know the answer. He was always getting you caught up in things like this. Only this time he'd also done it for his own twisted benefit of you literally falling for another hard luck case.

"So, how exactly do you two…?" "He’s my big brother..." No point in hiding that now. "My sister’s always had a thing for the hard luck cases..." If looks could kill. He grinned at you; "That is what this is, right??" "He’s YOUR hard luck case." "Are you the sister that has 3 toes missing?" "He hasn't seen your toes!? Geez, Y/N your are working INCREDIBLY sloooow..." You almost spit your drink out "Oh my god! You TOLD him that crap!!!" You shook your head at Gerry "Not me!! Our other sister... Geez, Curtis she got a look in but I didn't?" "A lot of the time you like to pretend we aren't family...!" You gave Gerry a significant look “Is it any wonder why?" Gerry looked more and more confused by the second at what you and Curtis were suggesting. “Why would I have seen her toes?" You stared at the table in disbelief. Was he that slow? Having said that now Curtis might have an angle on why you were being so slow. "Oh. Knowing my sister, I would have expected you to see a lot more than that." He took a sip of his drink to allow that to sink in. And get a kick out of Gerry’s wide-eyed realisation and you looking like you could throttle him. Curtis was determined to keep pissing you off though; "Am I right though?! She doesn’t even want to be my sibling..." "If we're going down that route Curtis, we are actually half siblings." "Really!!?" Gerry looked between you to try and find significant differences "Yeah. Different moms, same dad. In a bad way." You opened your mouth to argue, Gerry got there first "OH." "Yeah!" "Oh shut up Curtis! He wasn't that bad!" "Cuz he actually stayed with your mom!" "I think grandpa would actually have killed him otherwise." " 'Scuse me. You saw what mine did to my toe!" Ok. Fair enough. Gerry just kept glancing at you both. He was fairly certain now that perhaps you both got your feisty tempers from your father - because in that respect you were exactly the same. "But you two live together, so how'd you meet?" "We both agreed not to tell that. But I found her." You rolled your eyes at him; "Curtis is a drifter remember?" "Kicking me out now?!" "I thought Peru was the dream." "It’s an expression." "AH! So you didn't even like it when you finally got there! Well, you’re not staying here either!!" "Geez what, you’re actually kicking me out!? Is Gerry staying!? I bet he is! Is he in the guest room...? Mine by the way... or in yours!?" "Will you shut your damn mouth!" You smacked his arm. Gerry continued to watch, fascinated. To the point where he realised something and he just started to laugh uncontrollably. Making you both stop your bickering and turn to him; "Okay, what’s so funny?" He stopped, wiping tears from his eyes. Though he still giggled through his sentence. "Nothing... This is just..." He shook his head with a smile "It’s like a double rainbow!" *** You begrudgingly let Curtis kick around for as long as he wanted, and he waved you off for the next part of your adventure. Not before trying to impart some romantic knowledge on you, for which he earned a slap. "We’re switching cars." "Why?" "Cuz, where were going we have to have a certain... something-something we don't have in that..." You waved your hand to the car across the street "I mean. This is sleek and stylish and…" "It’s a sports car." "It’s... well, yeah. OK. But we need something better than that." "I mean there’s nothing wrong with that car." "Gerry. Honey. Not where we're headed." You smiled politely "Please step into someone else's reality...!" "Yours, by the sounds of it..." "Aw, only on special occasions." Sookie was beside you by the time you looked back to call for her. "Okay. Sure, but you gotta continue being super nice to Gerry, OK? Don't let me down." As if to give you an answer she leapt over your seat and onto him. "Huh!" "What?" "She just. She pretty much hates everyone but me and my brother. She tolerates cat people... But you..." You gave a shrug and hopped in yourself "You're something special Gerry. You got a gift!" ***

You decided to join him at a table one final time, allowing yourself to get caught up in the way he played once more. "…Wow maybe chatty works for you. But that was incredible the way you played that table! Man, I wish I could do that!" "You don't even realise do you?" You beamed "Gerry you are doing that! What you just did was great!! That's what I want! For you to feel it naturally! You don't even have to know you're doing it. Second nature. Easy..." you were glowing just by the way he was looking at you, "...I guess I could have won but... With the way you played that would have been unfair." "It would have been good competition!" "No! I like this confidence! The player it's turning you into... You are more than ready for what I've got planned. He's incredible. Don't change him. The outlook or the attitude. It suits your play style. Keep up the good work!" *** He watched you calculate it all quickly in your head and place the final two ticks against his list. "We’re done!?" he said it with a joyous laugh "We did it!! We're really done!!!" You tapped your pen against the paper and shook your head "Nope." His mood instantly fell "What!?! But the list--!? We’re done! We’ve finished the list!!" "We're not done. We have one more stop..." He put his head in his hands and leant against the car door "I have to do this again!?" "Now you've paid everyone back, with sufficient interest..." your smile was significant; "You’ve got this down." He breathed out with a murmur; "I thought I was done." "So, you can't handle one more...?" He made a face "Just one?" It was still impossible for him to resist the pull of a table. You'd work on it. "Just one. And never again..." He nodded and you knew how much he was resisting 'well maybe not never' coming out of his mouth. You turned the key in the ignition and tapped your sat nav, handing him another piece of paper "Now be the sweetheart I know you are and type this in." "...Sure!" You got why Curtis had put you together. Because it didn't make sense, which is why it made perfect sense...

"Tell me everything I need to know..." You noticed him tapping his fingers to the beat of your road trip playlist and studying the scenery. You couldn’t help your smirk. "The buy in isn't even worth thinking about. It's crazy. I've covered it. But under your name. Because under no circumstances are women allowed to play these tables..." you took a deep breath; "One small acting favour from you..." "Mm hmm?" "You need to pretend like this is what you do. Like this is your life." "This... Is my life." there was more sadness in that sentence than he let on. You shook your head "Not what I meant. You need to act like you do this on a daily basis. Like you flew in on a private jet just for this game, and you're gonna fly back out tomorrow to your private island. Like the buy in was pocket change, but y’know, enough to get you excited for the game. And you're gonna have to drive this car.” "... What kind of buy in!?" " I'm not disclosing that and neither should you ask... Don't say anything. Just... This is your life, you got me. " He nodded “Okay.” But you needed to hear something else “Tell me you understand." He looked back, blue eyes on yours; "I understand."

** "So... Now what..." He turned back to you as you let him into the hotel room. "You’re gonna do whatever you do to get in the zone. I'm going to put the finishing touches together..." "What do I wear!?" "I got you covered. Gerry, honey, I don't want you to worry about nothin' but the people on the table and the cards in your hand. OK?" "Okay..." You felt leaving him might allow Gerry to unwind with his own thoughts, instead of have him stressing. You spent a couple of hours banking his wins and sending checks to the last few people he owed. Picking up his suit, your dress... And a bottle. When you got back, he was reading the invitation for the event over and over. If he was freaking out about it, it was not showing on his face. You placed the bottle of Woodford triumphantly in front of him. "Curtis only introduces people he really likes to his favourite drink, you know...! It has a heck of a kick. But I think you'll need a kick tonight!" "You're not kidding..." He looked up at you; "Oh! What!" You held out the suit; white. Pristine. With softer lines to suit Gerry... You had an eye for designer and he had to look like he was wearing it. Not the other way around. Like he wore a new one every day... "When I told you Curtis told me everything..." "He literally told you everything..." He stood and took the carrier from you. “Wow... This is..." "Expensive. But it'll suit you..." "What about you..?" You tipped your head with a mysterious smile, "White suit. Black dress. We will make quite the couple..."

Indeed you did. A few glasses of Woodford down and you sitting across from him, it was like Gerry was a whole new man. If he was playing into it, he was going to do incredibly well.

***

“Just do me one favour…” “What?” You handed him a slip of paper “Whatever you do with this money. Put some of it in here.” “What is it…?” He took it from you delicately You smiled “It’s a trust fund. And it’s gonna REALLY help.” There was a silence for a moment as he attempted to thank you and you stopped him, it was fine. It was to make sure he really did what he was telling you he was going to do… "One more thing." He turned to you, because that was your game voice, as he was about to step out of the car. Keys to a valet?, yeah this was way above his usual gamble grade. "Huh?" "However anyone looks at me, whatever anyone says to you about me... Ignore it." That left him with a whole bunch of questions and slight panic that he didn't have time to ask, or you to answer, as you both stepped out of the car. He handed his keys to the valet and let you link your arm through his. "What do you mean?" "And don't talk to me either... " "That's going to make for quite the evening..." "This isn't about being here as friends Gerry. Or about being here together. This is about you being able to afford me." "What!?" Though you held your silence. Again that left him with a bunch more questions. He had a feeling he might figure it out... But wasn't sure he wanted to. He handed over the invitation at the door; security whispered to each other and nodded. But they did not escort the two of you to the main casino. At this point Gerry stopped having questions he knew he wasn’t about to get answers to, and decided to simply roll with it. You'd told him to act like he did this every other weekend so he would do exactly that. Who needed regular casino tables anyway, right? “Why are they all looking at me...?” It was the one question he needed to ask. If they knew then the game was up, after all... It also allowed him to lean in closer to you, which was also an assured part of the game. “They aren’t looking at you...” So you were known here? And by the looks of it in a big way. Were you an escort? Once? Were you still!?

He wasn’t sure he liked the implications of this, he was worried about you. “You sure it’s a good idea for you to be-” You squeezed his arm gently to shut him up “If I’m here with you, looking like this, then yes.” He took a deep breath and you pulled yourself closer to him “God, Gerry! I’m so sorry that didn’t help!” You had to confess. You felt like you HAD to tell him. He stopped you. Hand over yours. “You don’t need to tell me anything. I figured it out.” And he had. Gerry was never lying when he said he was good at reading people. You’d likely been an escort for men like this at games like this – maybe more… He didn’t like to think on that too much. Passed around like you were the game they were playing. That kinda made him angry… sick… feel a whole lot of pity for you. He wanted to win this game for you, too. And you’d actually got out; probably played your way to freedom. Though Curtis has said he had found you, Gerry wondered if he might have something to do with it. “...What are we really doing here Y/N?” You looked to him; sincere “Freeing you.” He tipped his head, and the smile showed he knew you were here for something else entirely. You gave small shrug and mirrored his smile; “Let’s just call it payback...” He held out his hand for you “Now I know what I’m playing for...” He confidently flashed another brilliant smile; “There’s no way I can lose!” “Play this game like it’s the last game you’ll ever play.” “It COULD be the last game I ever play.” His seriousness hit you hard and made you emotional. Finally, he could see the emotion on your face, in your smile – in those gorgeous eyes of yours. “Just play it your best. You got this Gerry… You’re the only one who’s got this.” *** He had played his part flawlessly. But more than that, Gerry had played the GAME flawlessly. He called. There was absolutely no way, with you here, with the way he had played - that you had helped him to play - even with every single other player having all the luck in the world that he was about to lose this. None. He held his hand out behind him, and you realised that he was asking if he could hold yours. He was too confident in this... You placed your hand in his and he grasped you gently. You were too confident in him too. Everyone around the table revealed their hands, one by one. All pretty good. All the kind of hands that would win a game. Even a game that, for him, had really been this difficult. But Gerry had played like a pro. Like he was elite. Like he was one of them. He flipped his hand and he lent back, relaxed. They all stated at his cards in disbelief. How!?! How did this newbie to this table come out of nowhere and win? You were equally if not more surprised. He's done it. Gerry had actually done it!!!

He rose, calm with a small smile. And his voice was quiet, soft almost "I guess I win. Gentlemen." he gave the signal to cash out and stepped back, your hand still in his he turned to you, his smile was confident and you couldn't tell if he was still acting or not. He must have been - how could he be this calm over the amount of money he had just won!?! "What do you say, we get our money and ditch this place, huh?" This was a revenge game for everything you’d been put though. And he’d just up and won it.

***

It wasn’t ever really meant to come out the way it did. But the high from what he has just achieved had the both of you nearly in tears laughing, as you got back in your car. “Oh-! Gerry---! I love you!” For him it was out of the blue, you’d never indicated that it was a phrase you knew. With your background that was hardly surprising. But, he caught on to exactly what Curtis had said before and it hit him hard enough to sober him up. “Do you really mean it?” And then it hit you; because everything about him was serious. You looked back to him, letting yourself regain your breath before you answered. Did you say it because of the moment? Because of what you’d done? Or did you say it because you really DID love him? “…Yeah… I guess… I could really love you…” Gerry just smiled, he didn’t say anything, he didn’t push it further “Well, Alright…” But it was one hell of a smile. Gerry knew he was prepared to wait for you to make that happen. He was decisive enough in your answer to take your hand; “Where to? We could go anywhere. You and I. Right now.” It made you think for a minute, and suddenly smile at the realisation that you were both free. That you and he aren’t ever going back. You entwined your fingers with his; “To the Next Great Adventure!”

GIF CREDIT @ben-mendelsohn-trash and @benmendo as always ❤

This could have been split into like 3 different parts. But I just kinda wanted it to be one long thing! I mean, I’m right right, he’s got two personalities, right? #ThePlayer’ and then #SoftGerry...

#Gerry #Gerry x Reader #Mississippi Grind #Ben Mendelsohn #Linzi Writes #I have questions for myself on this one...!#Unsure on if this relationship is healthy?#She'll get him to some addiction clinic. I think.#She's got him on the right track #I believe in her #I believe in THEM.#The one thing I didn't manage to get in here was knuckle rolling a gambling chip. That is Sexy shit. It just didn't seem to fit anywhere.#And it doesn't seem to fit Gerry either #So now I need to find a Mendo to give a scene to specifically to write that #OH! Shit I forgot! There's that strange Gambling bit in Robin Hood. DAMN! I could put it there #I'm sorry I made you read a bunch of tags about moving gambling chips. But its damn HOT.#Gerry he just doesn't... I just don't... Know?#How I feel about him. TBH.#WHAT I LOVE IS I BASICALLY GOT MY DUMB HEIST PLOT INTO THIS!!#22

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drblueneck · 5 years

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Massive Genderbent AU - Rookie 9 edition

Ok. I should really NOT be writing that, but that little shit of a story wouldn’t leave me alone and I couldn’t focus on my studies and I was going CRAZY. So, here. It’s written. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE BRAIN, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! I decided to post it, because I want people to enjoy the beauty of genderbender. This will turn into a fullfledged story. Maybe. Probably. Certainly. But not right now. Because I don’t have time. I NEED TIIIIMMMME.

As spring was in full bloom, it was time for Hideo-sensei - Head of the Academy - to peruse the new application forms for the upcoming year. Going through each of them and smiling at the familiar clan names, he took him a moment to notice the higher than normal percentage of girls being enrolled. As he took a closer look, his surprise went up a notch. The heirs of the most prominent ninja clans were to be in the same year class, and all but two were females. It had been a long time since such a thing happened! Hideo-sensei idly wondered if the girls would be up to par with the boys, and winced at the ludicrous idea of Genin teams made up mostly of kunoichi - their strength would never amount to that of their male counterparts, science said so. Or, well, science said so before Tsunade-sama gave it the finger... Hideo-sensei shook his head and snorted. Frankly, what were the chances for all these girls to end up like the legendary Sannin? Prodigies were a fluke, not the norm.

With a rueful sigh, he closed the files and signed them, already mourning for this future batch of Genin who would more likely than not bring down their forces’ strength for months, if not years - that is, if they ever graduated instead of mooning over boys like so many were wont to do in their debute... Hopefully, these kunoichi would have a wake-up call sooner than later!

Years later, looking back on this biased oversight, Hideo-sensei would berate himself for dismissing so easily what Konoha saw as its new rising stars and the best ninja of their generation.

Shikaku stared at his ranting kid from where he was sitting under the shade of the great oak in their backyard, ears used to relentless tirades after years of mariage to his dear banshee of a wife. He loved her, really, he did, but damn if that troublesome woman didn’t turn him half-deaf in the first two months of their marital life. It’s without shame that Shikaku would readily admit to having prayed for his kid to turn out like him - lazy and fond of long stretches of silence. The Nara genes were usually strong, to the dismal of those who married into the clan, but it looked like Yoshino’s were as stubborn as her!

Troublesome woman indeed, Shikaku thought with fondness as his daughter finished her rant about ‘not being a kid anymore’ and thus demanding to be ‘trained as a real kunoichi to kick butts’. Maybe he stayed quiet for too long because she started tapping her tiny foot on the grassy ground, arms crossed as she dished out her best glare, and all that was done in a perfect imitation of her mother - and it only made her father want to laugh and squeeze her in a hug.

Which he did.

“Daaad! I’m serious!” Shikaru wailed, tugging harshly at her father’s spiky ponytail to punctuate her words.

“Yes you are,” he cooed, rubbing his scratchy beard against her chubby cheek.

“I wanna leaaarn!” She wailed again, squirming in his grasp and trying to escape his beard, struggling not to laugh and keep up her angry pout. It tickled!

Trapping her into his arms, Shikaku let himself fall down on his back, adjusting comfortably his neck so that he could watch the fluffy clouds go by.

“Maa, why couldn’t you be a lazy one just like your dad, hm?”

The child instantly stopped her useless squirming and with fire burning fiercely in her brown eyes, she hissed like an angry cat, “Cause I’m gonna beat Inoshi! He made Chou cry!”

Aaah, right. The first time he and his teammate decided to officially introduce their kids to each other when they were four, Inoichi’s boy - who lacked a brain to mouth filter - had taken one look at Chouza’s girl and pointed at her before saying with all the innocence of the world, “Daddy, look, she’s fat.” The poor Chouko had bursted into tears and clung to her father the whole day while Shikaru, true to her name, spent a good ten minutes scolding the boy before launching herself into a philosophical pamphlet of sorts on the serious issue of body image within the shinobi world. Inoshi had gaped at her, a bit pale, before hunching his shoulders and muttering a bit too belligerently, “Well, you’re definitely not cute...”

Inoichi had confided that to this day, his son still obsessively kept his hair short, traumatised by Shikaru gripping on his tiny ponytail so hard that she tore out a big clump of fine blond hair. Another of her mother’s bad habits... It was a good thing Shikaku got so used to the rough treatment that it felt like his head was made of steel, otherwise, between his two troublesome girls, he would’ve turned bald yeard ago!

Anyway, all that had been a year ago, and Shikaku had to marvel at his daughter’s ability to hold a grudge.

He hummed under his breath at another of his daughter’s whine about ‘stupid boys’ and wanting to train.

“Then you’ll be happy to know that you start the Academy next month,” he said, nonchalant, happy to stare at the powdery blue sky with the light weight of his kid securely held against his chest. Said kid abruptly sat up, pushing a bony knee into his ribs and he ‘oofed’. Kids... so uncaring...

“Really?!” she cried out as she bounced on his stomach, her almond-shaped eyes almost glittering with stars.

“Really.”

Shikaru dropped back down against him, squeezing her skinny arms around his neck with all her strength - and Shikaku was proud to say that it was actually a lot - as she smothered her excited ‘”thank yous” into his shirt, her feet kicking out in a show of unrestraint happiness and narrowly missing his jewels.

Inoshi was going down. Ha!

It had been a long time since a masculine presence had been felt in the Inuzuka household. From as far as she could remember, Kiku had always been surrendered solely by her mom and sister and their dogs, with the occasional clansmen dropping by to check in with their Head. And if asked, Kiku would tell you that her mom was badass.

Once, she had asked where her father was and mom bristled and waved a fist in the air. “Who needs that pussy when you got me, huh?” Hana later told her that dad had left them because mom scared him. Tch, mom was right, what a scaredy-cat! Inuzuka women were the bomb!

And Kiku wanted to be just like her mother.

It actually amused Tsume greatly to see her youngest daughter following her everywhere like a lost puppy, even when she went to work in the Jounin HQ or meeting with members of the Council for clan matters. Kiku would closely watch her every move and copy them – sitting with an arm thrown on the back of a chair, legs slightly splayed out or crossed at the ankles; fingers drumming on the table when she wanted to fuck with uptight people like Hiashi or Fugaku; lips turning into a snarl when she wasn’t happy… Yep, her daughter was cute as a button in her mom-worship antics.

Tsume actually thought it was all just a phase and that her childish wonder would soon fade out, but Kiku never stopped praising her mom with starry eyes, asking stories of her missions, and more recently, pleading to start her training in the shinobi arts like Hana. She had already given Akamaru to her a few weeks ago, wanting her to acclimate herself to her life-partner, but Tsume had wanted to leave the shinobi training for a bit later to make sure the dog would be able to follow… So what to do, what to do?

Sighing over her dilemma, Tsume entered Shikaku’s office and dropped her latest report on his desk, not feeling one bit sympathetic as he groaned while glaring at the pile of reports that would soon turn into a tower. Usually, he had to hunt down his Jounin to get their reports on time, but strangely these past few days, they’d all been quite eager – gleeful even! – to complete their administrative duties…

Tsume shot him a mean smirk. “Serves you right for ditching us last week with the new recruits,” she said snidely, still peeved that heir commanding officer had disappeared for a whole afternoon and let the more seasoned shinobi drill the baby Jounin. Shikaku was way too good at hiding from them, the sneaky bastard.

“God, I’m surrounded by nagging women,” the man groaned, signing the papers he was reading with a flourish and attacking a new batch.

“Beats being surrounded by whiny men,” was Tsume’s quick retort.

Shikaku shrugged and stretched his arms, which Tsume took as her dismissal. All too happy to leave the Jounin Commander to his own suffering, she skipped to the door with a bounce to her step, only to reluctantly stop when Shikaku called out her name.

“What.” She was a busy woman, dammit.

He smiled apologetically before asking, “I was just wondering if you were putting your daughter into the Academy this year? Mine is going, and I’d be more at ease if some of the kids she knows were to attend too… Shikaru really needs to up her social game,” he added thoughtfully.

God, that man could be such a mother-hen sometimes! Tsume wondered if he would’ve been this dotting had he had a boy as laidback as him… Probably not.

“I’ve put in Kiku’s application but didn’t tell her anything yet. You know how my clan likes to keep the kids as long as possible and teach them at home before sending the little brats to schools, what with our dogs needing proper training too…”

Shikaku nodded. Many clans were like Tsume’s, enrolling the kids only for the last two or three years of the Academy as they preferred – or simply needed in some cases – to train their kekkai genkai first and foremost before even thinking about formal schooling.

“Well, if your girl is anything like you, she’s going to take to shinobi training like a fish to water,” he said in a smile, complimenting his Jounin’s ruthless efficiency on the field, and Tsume grinned back, showing her sharp teeth.

Maybe sending Kiku earlier than expected would actually be a good thing. Her girl was driven after all!

“She’s been bugging me about training her for weeks now. I think she’s ready to commit,” she mused outloud in a prideful tone.

With a wave of the hand, she turned around and leisurely walked out Shikaku’s office while calling out, “My girl’s totally gonna make you turn prematurely grey when she’ll be under your command, Nara!”

Chuckling at the muttered “troublesome” that her enhanced hearing caught, Tsume made her way back home, the grin never leaving her face. Damn right, her Kiku was going to become a kickass kunoichi!

(Shikaru means “to scold” which I found hilarious. Inoshi comes from inoshishi which means boar, Kiku means chrysanthemum because I just wanted to have some coherency between her sister and her, and Chouko means butterfly child, which is cute af. Next one should’ve Female!Sasuke, Male!Hinata, and I’m gonna have so much fun.)

#genderbent AU #genderbent Rookie 9 #Naruto fanfic #Female Shikamaru #Male Ino #Female Chouji #Female Kiba

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amarantine-amirite · 5 years

Text

November Syndrome

Imagine that you're a freshman. You're away from home for the first time, out from under the thumbs of veganism and expectations for high achievement that were previously foisted upon you. You have no sense of obligation other than avoiding being yelled at by parents and school. No discipline. No idea how to schedule anything. No sense of organization or time management. The only reason you ever got anything done before was because you had been emotionally beaten into submission by your higher-ups.

What happens? You go crazy. End of story. For the first two months, you go to every party and social event on campus, then, come November, you go bonkers over how much work you have to do, but you don't actually do any work. Instead of working, you escape into things like writing fanfiction, playing Fortnite, or something else unrelated to your studies. It's almost like you evolve into a master procrastinator.

Worse, you don’t even notice your lack of discipline until there’s no one saying “no” to every one of your ideas. As a premed, one of the courses I had to take was called "Computer Science for Scientific Applications". It sounded better than it was. It involved having to hand-write code. On top of that, we had to write in pen! It sucked. My handwritten braces looked like sideways boobs. It was just awful. What really sucked was that I write in cursive, so I did my code in cursive. The professor was not pleased when I handed my assignments in. Our assignments were graded based on whether or not they worked. We don't know until we hand anything in if it works. We don't test the code ourselves, he runs it for us. He put our assignments were put through a scanner, and the scans would be put through a piece of software that would convert the text on the image of the page into actual text. The text that it scraped would then be entered into the IDE for the language in question. Usually for freshman computer science, the language was Java, but our steam (recall I was in premed at the time) did Javascript. The only sort of editing that had to be done to the code once it was scanned and in the IDE was typically spacing related/missing character (the software was good but not perfect).

How was your assignment scored? If the code ran, you passed, and if not; you failed. And I failed my assignment (I only did one) because my handwriting always created a ton of problems for the transcription software. It was kind of a weird program. The software had an auto-detect-language-and-translate feature. Sounds cool, but because of my writing, it thought that I was writing in Hindi and it would "auto-translate" my code. Since the translation module for the software was not that good, stuff got mistranslated…a lot. I remember on one of my assignments, I wrote something in the comments and it got garbled into "radish boots". Ever since then, my nickname amongst my friends in CS was Radish Boots. I didn't hand in any more assignments for that class after that.

See, that's how it starts. Something very small, very unexpected like that. That's how you get the idea that your assignments are optional. And that was all it took to turn me into a master procrastinator.

Once I got the idea that assignments were optional, I just really let myself go. Within three weeks, I went from "good student" to "crappy student" to "how the hell did they get into university?" With no actual work weighing me down, I went ahead and participated in every campus social event ever. Paint-your-own flower pot day at the library? I was there! Fitness event? I was there! Halloween party? Take a guess? I kid you not, I was acting like one of those guys in a college movie. Rather than studying, I went to social events. It was great, except for one little thing. Turns out (and I learned this at board game night), people find people who act like they're in college movies really annoying.

Anyway, the incident that happened at board game night was related to something that happened in chemistry. We had one of those semester long group projects where they put you in groups of seven or eight people. One of the people in our group (Anne, I believe it was) was at the event, and she gave me an earful. Not going to lie, she was really mad that I wasn't doing any work. That's bad enough on its own, but she was angrier than I had expected her to be because we lost five people in the group (four of whom died in rapid succession in some bizarro chain reaction):

last Monday, Laura died of obesity related complications

last Tuesday, Alejandro took up jogging to avoid dying like Laura. He got hit by a bus

last Wednesday, Kevin became afraid of the outdoors (thanks to what happened to Alejandro) and sought refuge in playing video games. Come the weekend, he died of a blood clot from playing Starcraft for 62 hours straight

on Sunday, Melissa shunned all technology (because of what happened to Kevin) and went off to rough it in the woods. She died eating poisonous mushrooms

and yesterday, Michiru dropped out because she couldn't handle the pressure of doing the work of the people that died

Now, our group only had two people, and we had to do the work of seven people. Actually, scratch that. Since I wasn't pulling my weight, poor Anne was stuck doing the work of seven people. Understandably, she was fuming with me, and more than a few swear words were uttered. Anne made a point of saying that if I didn't step up in times of crisis, I had no business being a doctor. I would have agreed, but I had my first taste of freedom in my life. There was no one telling me how I had to respond, so I did what people in movies did: I told her to fuck off.

I don't blame Anne for being so ticked with me. After all, she was doing the work of seven people and I was being a coward, hiding behind a mask made out of lies and excuses. No one likes that.

And then, it happened. November rolled around. The amount of stuff that was past due was insane. Seriously! I missed literally every single assignment that wasn't a test (actually, I think I might have missed a couple of tests, too). I made the mistake of buying into the delusion that assignments were optional, and I ended up paying for it.

I needed to get my shit together and do work, but I couldn't. It went beyond lack of discipline. I never built a workflow, and now I couldn't, for it was too late to dig myself out of the hole. And so, instead of doing the work I needed to do, I did a bunch of irrelevant crap. I had run out of time as a procrastinator, but I acted like things were OK. The reality was, they weren't. My situation with school was beyond dire. Worse, I lied to myself about how it wasn't a big deal. Rather than own up to anything, I escaped into a world of playing video games, writing crappy fan fiction, and other bullshit that would in no way help me get on top of school. November called, and I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was stuck where I was.

I know that I sound like I am repeating myself a lot, but I really want to emphasize how I still didn't get my ass in gear even though things had gotten to the point that I really, really had to buckle down and actually do a ton of work to just pass. More specifically, I wanted to emphasize how much stupid fan fiction and creepypasta I read and wrote during that period. I don't know why I gravitated to creepypasta. I think I was trying to hide the fact that I was a coward, afraid to face the consequences of my procrastination. Liking works of fiction involving surreal horror and demented episodes of beloved childhood cartoons somehow must have translated in my mind to not being afraid of anything. Regardless of how the logistics of that excuse supposedly worked, I ended up being a creepypasta addict.

And that bled into my fanfic writing. I know because I tried to write this ridiculous JumpStart fanfic. It was supposed to be a creepypasta/fanfic (like the infamous Cupcakes), but it just came out incredibly stupid. The concept that powered the story was the little animals from the early elementary JumpStart titles (Frankie the dog, Eleanor the elephant, Pierre the polar bear, CJ the frog, etc…) acting like the folks on South Park. For instance, Frankie the Dog was "Kyle", CJ the Frog was "Stan", Eleanor the Elephant was "Cartman" (albeit with a hidden softer side), and I don't remember who was "Kenny" (I think it was Pierre the Polar Bear). Anyway, the actual story was this thing with vampires. The story was that, at some point, Eleanor got bitten by a vampire (and consequently, turned into a vampire). At the same time, Pierre (I think) was in the hospital with some pretty heavy duty muscular dystrophy, and CJ was trying to persuade people to fund stem-cell research in the hopes that they could save Pierre. However; Frankie thought CJ's thing was dumb and said that they could get Eleanor to bite Pierre so he'd turn into a vampire, thereby curing him of his muscular dystrophy. The only problem with that was, well, Pierre would be a vampire. Eleanor ends up being conflicted by the whole thing, and that's the conflict that drives the story.

I remember some time after I posted the first two chapters online wanting to have a twist ending (I'd written about 75% of the story by this time). I didn't know whether I wanted to do "you think it's the future but it's really the past" or "you think it's the past but it's really the future". I guess it didn't matter, because I noticed that I had only two hours left before the submission deadline for my biology term paper. After trying to convince myself that no, I wasn't dreaming this, I wrote the bare minimum of what I needed to write to fit the guidelines for the term paper disclosed on the webpage; then uploaded the results to turnitin.com, fingers crossed that I would at least pass.

Except I didn't. Not only did I not pass the term paper, I didn’t even hand it in. I found out the next day that I had actually uploaded the fourth chapter of my dumb-ass JumpStart fanfiction (and it was a scary chapter too...it was the flashback to when Eleanor gets bitten by the vampire). The prof was not impressed. Let's just leave it at that.

You have no idea how badly I screwed everything up. I managed to get a flat zero in every single course this term. The only exception was CS, where I wound up getting only 2%. Bottom line is that I failed everything. Yes, everything. My only shot at academic redemption is the final exam.

Even still, it might not be enough. As of this writing, I have less than twelve hours before I go in to write the exam. This is bad. I can't sleep even though I'm exhausted. I have to stay up and work. I need to sleep, but I can't. I'm stuck. I've made this bed, and now I'm going to die in it.

No, really. I feel like I'm going to die.

When I first started cramming, I was fine for the first hour and a half. After that, though, I started seeing static in my field of view. The static thing lasted for a couple of hours until it progressed to seeing shadow people. Or, at least I thought they were shadow people. They weren't even remotely humanoid. I was seeing weird, shadowy spider things. They looked like giant tarantulas, all four of them, and they were coming for me. Just before they got me, they vanished.

They were gone. They were 100% all gone. It was like it never happened. No static, no ghost spiders, nothing. Crisis averted. Back to work.

Nope. It's not that simple. The minute I went back to reading the textbook, I could feel my heart race. I tried to highlight stuff and write down key points, but I couldn't, since my right arm is numb. I switch to writing with my other hand, but that doesn't work. I can't write with my other hand too well. Worse, the minute I get the hang of writing with my other hand, I start throwing up like a volcano. After that, it's over. I can't study if I'm throwing up every three minutes. Even if I weren't throwing up the way I am, I wouldn't be able to focus on studying right now. I can barely form coherent sentences, much for your time like to undarastamnd the impotence of teh book biology and chemistry. Chemical biologrehcal flerbut connection ffrhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAAA!

@the-writer-s-hideout

#writing #writers #writers on tumblr #creepy #short fiction #drama #short story #original fiction

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