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miles-edgewords · 1 month

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how much I wish we were taught in school how to interact with people online (and just how to use the internet in general) and then I remembered that I can type.

So, without further ado, I present…

How to Argue with People on the Internet

A (sort of) comprehensive guide on discussing everything from world peace to your blorbos

Forewordwarning: This is a long (but hopefully useful and entertaining) post. You have been warned.

SECTION I: The Decision

I have read SO many posts that essentially say “want to stop getting annoyed and fighting strangers? Just don’t! Simply do not!” and if that works for you? Fantastic! That is commendable and I salute you for it and I’m only a little bit jealous. (Okay, maybe more than a little bit jealous.) But if you’re like me—an absolute yapper, that is— you will likely find yourself in quite a few situations where you simply must yap. The urge is too strong. The stupidity of this collection of pixels on your screen that may or may not be the vessel for another human somewhere in the world is too much and you just have to tell them so. I understand. I will not tell you to hold back. I will, however, advise that before engaging with any individuals, you follow a few simple steps that I like to call “RAT”— otherwise known as Rest, Analyze, and Type.

Let’s say, for a moment, that you’ve just run into a comment hating on your favorite character in your favorite TV show. Yes, that one. You want to reply—but wait—you’ve just remembered to use RAT first! You intelligent human, you.

First, you REST. You take a moment to bookmark the comment (whether mentally or literally is up to you) and you step away from your phone (or you do what I do and look at that one youtube video of a parrot asking Alexa to fart 939472 times, you know the one) and you wait. Is this comment something you’re willing to take time out of your day to handle? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with deciding that it is, in fact, worth it— but it’s important to consider it first. You won’t ever have time to talk about the things you’re actually passionate about if you reply to every comment that bothers you. (Trust me— I’ve been there.)

Now, if you’ve decided to continue, reopen the comment and ANALYZE. This can mean many different things depending on the situation: is this comment generated by an AI? Is this person expressing a genuine opinion, or are they a troll? Have other people argued with them? If so, how did they respond? These are all important questions to ask, but it’s okay if you don’t know the answers to all of them. Just get the best information you can; you can always come back to this step later.

Finally, it’s time to TYPE. Let those words fly, friend! You tell ‘em!

SECTION II: Debating vs Fighting

So, you’ve RATted it up, and now you’ve decided it’s time to yap. But how to go about this? Should you be aggressive? Appeal to the enemy? What to do? Don’t worry, I’ve got another acronym for you! It’s time to take MOUSE into account: Motive, Openness, Understanding, Success, and Education.

First, think about your own MOTIVE. What do you want to accomplish? Do you want to change the other person’s mind? Are you unconcerned with changing their mind, instead going in with the intention to change the minds of others who might be reading through the conversation? Do you not care about changing anyone’s mind and simply want to discuss the topic at hand? All of these are valid, but they’re all very different. Deciding what your goal is prior to replying is one of the most important things about debating, whether it’s over the internet or face-to-face.

Once you’ve got that cleared up, it’s time to consider your OPENNESS and UNDERSTANDING. How open are you to potentially having your mind changed? Can you see a piece of truth in the other side of the argument? Do you understand where the commenter is coming from, or are they just being ridiculous? It’s okay to have opinions you aren’t open to changing on a whim— everyone has core beliefs that shape who they are as people. But sometimes looking at the other side through a lens of open-mindedness and a desire to understand is the most effective thing you can do. Give it a try— the worst thing that happens is the other person being just as bad as you thought they were.

Next, it’s time to address SUCCESS. What would succeeding look like here? This is similar to MOTIVE, but now we’re looking at the potential completion of the debate. What is the outcome you’re striving for?

Finally, EDUCATION. Is this a fact-based topic you want to educate people about, or is it purely opinion-driven? Either is fine, but if it’s fact-based, you should brush up on the facts of the situation— you don’t want to be caught in a lie and potentially humiliated, I hope. Also, misinformation on the internet is a huge issue. But mostly the humiliation thing.

Section III: Tips and Tricks

My last acronym contains an assortment of tips and tricks for internet usage and communication: Consent, Anonymity, Privacy, Yapping, Blocking, Apps, Reason, and Ability (CAPYBARA).

One of the most important things in life and on the internet is CONSENT. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to ask permission to voice your opinions— just that you should take into consideration the actual, living person on the other side of the screen. (Unless you’re arguing with an AI, in which case I suppose it probably doesn’t care much one way or the other). Ask before you DM people unless they state that their DMs are open. If someone blocks you, DO NOT make another account to harass them (yes, even if they’re really terrible). Consent online may look different than it does in real life, but it still follows the same ground rule: when in doubt, ASK.

ANONYMITY is another important thing to consider when you’re surfing among the virtual tides. Remember that even if someone displays their real name and picture on a website, you still don’t know them. They could be someone entirely different from the persona they’ve put up on the internet, and that’s okay. We all act differently depending on the situations and settings we’re in, and that’s dialed waaaay up when social media allows us to literally customize ourselves into what we want other people to see. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat people as if they’re real, but it does mean that you should take everything with a grain of salt— especially if someone is being an absolute jerk.

Okay, PRIVACY is the one section in here that anyone under a certain age probably did learn in class— along with its annoying younger cousin, PIRACY (you wouldn’t steal a CAR, would you?) You probably know by now that you shouldn’t share personal data online, so I won’t go into this one too much in this post. There are a billion textbooks about it, and as important as it is, it’s not something I’m really qualified to cover. Just don’t do anything stupid and you should be fine.

YAPPING— everyone’s favorite thing to do on the internet! For the most part, this is a reminder that you should have fun. If you feel like you can’t yap about your interests in the space you’re in, maybe you should relocate— whether that’s to a different app, a different blog, or even just to a different comment section is up to you. You should feel free to voice your opinions and talk about the things you love (within reason—don’t get yourself on an FBI watchlist—but you get the idea).

BLOCKING is one of the most underrated features on many social media apps. There is absolutely nothing wrong with blocking someone and moving on. It doesn’t make you a coward; it makes you someone who values your own time and safety. You are never obligated to argue with someone just because they said so. And—this is one of my favorite internet secrets—you can block people you agree with. If someone’s posts are well-meaning and useful, but they upset you or make you uncomfortable? You can still block them, or mute/restrict them if the app you’re using allows it. You are not a bad person for not wanting to see things that upset you in your day-to-day life. You can support good causes without reading about tragedies every morning. Digging yourself into a depressive hole isn’t going to help anything. Please, please use the block button. It’s there for a reason.

APPS are another variable you should consider when catering your online experience. For instance, you can make a nuanced post on Tumblr and more realistically expect reasonable replies because you aren’t confined to a tiny amount of characters. Trying to express the same point on Twitter, however, likely risks people getting extremely angry at you due to the nature of the app not allowing nuanced conversations. That’s not to say Tumblr is necessarily superior— just that they’re different areas with different setups. The reason Twitter is so no-nuance a lot of the time isn’t just due to the people— the app is deliberately set up so that users can’t make multiple points in one post. This also attracts people who don’t want to have nuanced conversations, which feeds the cycle. This is an (extremely oversimplified) explanation of why most social media apps feel so separate from each other, even if you follow all the same people. You should know your audience—but you should also know your stage.

It’s important to have a certain amount of REASON and common sense when you’re talking to someone about the skrunkly little guys in your favorite movie. It’s not that you can’t be passionate—I once essentially made an entire powerpoint presentation about why I think my opinion about a fictional cat person is the correct one—but you need to remember that not everything is the same level of seriousness. Expressing an opinion about whether Team Rocket are actually villains is not the same thing as expressing an opinion about the upcoming US election. (Though I think Team Rocket could potentially do an okay job, to be honest. Meowth 2024?) You can 100% have intense, long discussions about fictional characters, but it’s never worth genuinely harming your own mental health or attacking someone else because of an opinion that ultimately doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s okay to agree to disagree.

Lastly, remember that a lot of this is not intuitive. Your ABILITY to make smart decisions online is a skill that takes time to develop (as is evidenced by 99% of past me’s Twitter posts) and it’s important to give yourself grace. As much as the internet hates to admit it, we all make mistakes. Just own up to those mistakes and move on. It’s okay to delete a post you made because you don’t agree with it anymore. It’s okay to come back to an argument and apologize for going too far. It’s okay to not be perfect. Accept the consequences of your own actions and move forward.

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autisticeducator · 1 year

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The DeSantis style anti-LGTBQ in education legislation has made it to the federal level and New York LGBTQ+ organizations are rightfully pissed at politicians who are even attempting to support this.

One of them had a very public meeting with Congressman Lawler (NY-17) for being the massive hypocrite he is.

I want to have some faith in the Democrats in the Senate, many who are up for re-election in 2024 and 2026, to block this garbage of a bill.

Contact your US Congressperson and tell them not to support HR 5/Parents Bill of Rights Act. This act is literally terrifying.

#education #united states #hr 5 #medical privacy #hipaa

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ivygorgon · 1 month

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AN OPEN LETTER to STATE GOVERNORS & LEGISLATURES (ALASKA ONLY)

Out-ing Minority Students to Their Abusers - Safeguards needed in HB 382

I am writing to express my profound concerns regarding the proposed HB 382 legislation: Out-ing Minority Students to Their Abusers, which aims to involve parents in the education process but may inadvertently expose vulnerable LGBTQ+ students, and others, to harmful environments. As any survivor of domestic violence is acutely aware; ensuring the safety and well-being of all students is paramount, especially those from marginalized communities. While I acknowledge the intention behind HB 382, it is crucial to consider the potential for misuse of this legislation, which would further exacerbate the already high rates of harm and mortality among LGBTQ+ youth. Therefore, I call you to incorporate additional safeguards into the bill to protect the privacy and safety of these students, or alternatively, reject the bill entirely to rework it with the safety of ALL students prioritized. Specifically, measures must be implemented to ensure that information about a student's gender identity and romantic interests is not disclosed without their explicit consent to anyone. The goal of our education system should be to foster an inclusive, safe, and supportive environment for all students, regardless of their personal demographics. By prioritizing the privacy and safety of vulnerable students, we can ensure that every child has the opportunity to learn, thrive, and grow without fear of discrimination or harm. I urge you to consider these concerns and take action to protect the rights of students in Alaska. Thank you for your attention to this important matter. Protect the privacy of all students! We’re so pro-life; we’ll martyr our queer! Safeguards needed in HB 382!

📱 Text SIGN PSHMCT to 50409

🤯 Liked it? Text FOLLOW IVYPETITIONS to 50409

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wanderingandfound · 1 month

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Reading this article and then watching this video (I am only halfway through the video) has me even more concerned by "parents rights" groups than I was already (which was already pretty fucking concerned due to book bans and subject matter (ethnic studies, sex ed, Black history month) bans).

Like, school can absolutely suck and fuck people up for life. But so can parents. Children need increasing amounts of independence as they age, so that they can figure out who they are, how to do things on their own, and how to ask for help when they need it. Hypersurveillance does not prevent abuse to the best of my knowledge.

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#personal #education #parenting #No but seriously why the fuck can the parents watch in real time what the children are doing on the computers in school??????#Bring back computer labs and USB sticks. Children get more privacy AND they learn how to use the file explorerer. Win-win.#Plus the kids can't play Minecraft during class if it isn't installed on the computer.#(I am neither a trained educator nor childcarer. These are just my ideas not a foundation for a sound policy.)#Youtube

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philcollinsenjoyer · 1 year

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just thought about sex education otis and ruby should have been endgame he should have kept walking next to her wearing matching sunglasses and carrying her bag. everyone moved on i stayed there

#i actually have a lot of thoughts about sex education i just keep them for myself cause i like to maintain my privacy

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antimony-ore · 4 months

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I need someone who would respect my decision if I decided smartphones go in a faraday cage when at home and no bluetooth devices or hardwired microphones at home either. I am really tired of no privacy, or rather an inability to consent to being recorded constantly, and not being able to have conversations without immediately seeing posts about my niche topic du jour

#I just installed hardware that acts like a broken mic to trick my computer into not having a working mic to access #and I’m getting really tired of having to turn my phone mic off forecfully with a privacy app (android) because it keeps coming back on #and when the settings switches and shit in my phone are just there to give you the illusion of control but really it’s just a lie #like what the fuck #idk why other countries even allow our tech overseas #they practically got the whole planet bugged as far as I’m concerned #american police state #If I survive this bout with poverty I will gladly immigrate out of this panopticon #at least other places have free healthcare and education #I don’t think my american dream is achievable or realistic in today’s america and I’ve got a hell of a bucket list #give me one reason to stay here

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 1 year

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A Florida school district is seeking to change a state medical form that asks female student-athletes about their menstrual histories following criticism from some physicians and parents who say it's unnecessary for schools to collect and digitally store such information and that doing so puts students at risk in the post-Roe v. Wade era.

The Palm Beach County School District has asked the Florida High School Athletic Association to alter its physical evaluation form for student-athletes so it no longer includes five optional questions asking about menstrual history, a spokesperson for the school district said.

“Although the question regarding menstruation is optional, our district has recently inquired about having this question removed,” the spokesperson said.

The paper form has been used and stored by all state school districts for "several years," said the spokesperson, who added that the district keeps records for seven years before it destroys them.

The Palm Beach Post reported that the backlash started after the district announced it would offer student-athletes the option this school year to digitally submit the form to the sports management software company Aktivate, which could be required to turn data over to legal authorities and other officials, according to both its privacy policy and federal law.

The concerns also come on the heels of Florida’s 15-week abortion ban, as well as broader worries among abortion rights activists and experts about how digitally stored information about menstruation could be used in light of the increase in abortion restrictions nationwide.

'TO HAVE THIS DIGITIZED MAKES IT A BIGGER CONCERN'

The optional questions ask students when they had both their first periods and their most recent ones, as well as how long their cycles usually are, how long their longest cycle was and how many periods they had within the year.

The Aktivate website says “a valid subpoena would be required” for the company to share information with law enforcement. It also notes that because the company works directly with schools, it is required to comply with the federal Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, which protects the privacy of students’ educational records — but includes disclosure exceptions for subpoenas, state and local authorities and “appropriate officials in cases of health and safety emergencies.”

An Aktivate spokesperson said the company "adheres to the data privacy standards set by each school district," in addition to "all state and federal laws relating to the confidentiality of student records."

The platform provides coaches with information that could be relevant in a student-athlete's health emergency, and Aktivate "can accommodate profile removal requests," the spokesperson said.

"Upon request and approval by the school district, the company is able to remove parent login information, as well as any associated athlete profiles," the spokesperson said.

Craig Damon, the executive director of the Florida High School Athletic Association, said state law requires it to mandate that prospective student-athletes complete evaluations incorporating their medical histories. Florida students and parents also must sign forms providing consent for to release medical histories "should treatment for illness or injury be necessary," he added.

A spokesperson for the association did not respond to specific inquiries about the Palm Beach County school district’s request to remove the information about menstrual history from the physical evaluation form.

Dr. Thresia Gambon, a pediatrician and the president of the Florida Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics, said a student-athlete's menstrual history can provide important insight for doctors, noting that irregular menstruation is one component — along with disordered eating and osteoporosis — of the female athlete triad, a disorder that can lead to reproductive, bone and cardiovascular issues. But she said she does not see why schools need that information.

"Having menstrual history is very important — whether it’s very important that it's included in that form is a different question," she said.

Gambon pointed to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidelines for physical evaluation forms for student-athletes, which explicitly state that forms related to medical histories and physical examinations should not be shared with schools.

And "to have this digitized makes it a bigger concern, because it is private medical information," she added.

The only form the academy recommends making available to schools is a medical eligibility form, which explains whether students are medically eligible to compete and provides space to list emergency contacts, allergies and medications.

Dr. Rebecca Carl, a sports medicine physician and a member of the executive committee of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Council on Sports Medicine and Fitness, said the academy's guidance "allows confidential, HIPAA-protected information to remain part of a child's medical record while providing schools with the information needed to determine whether the child is medically eligible for sports."

A representative for the Florida High School Athletic Association did not respond to an inquiry about the academy’s guidance.

'I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER FUTURE'

Yvette Avila, whose daughter attends a Palm Beach County middle school and plays softball, said she and her daughter prefer not to record the girl's menstrual data with the district.

“Nobody wants period information on any kind of document when you’re in middle school,” she said.

Avila is considering home-schooling her daughter.

“I’m worried about her future, of course, in regards to, like, what are they doing with that?” she added.

Aktivate, which launched last fall and was co-founded by former AOL CEO Jon Miller, signed a three-year licensing agreement with the Palm Beach County School District in June, according to a document obtained by The Palm Beach Post.

At an August school board meeting in Palm Beach County, Aktivate CEO Hesky Kutscher said: “We very much respect parents’ privacy rights, and in fact we provide high security and high privacy for all the information that is put into our system — far bigger security, by the way, than paper.”

In addition to inquiring about removing questions about students' menstrual histories, the Palm Beach County School District's spokesperson said officials “will continue to explore other options, such as lobbying for revisions to this form and/or limiting the information provided to schools to solely the physician’s approval or disapproval of the student-athlete’s medical clearance.”

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