#SHE WANTED TO

[lunaetis]

@avaere asked :

he's tired of it. tired of having to report to whenever the whispers of a traveler sporting dark attire has wandered into his domain, tired of having to escort her back out again after --- time and time again --- stating that there is nothing of interest at the fortress. tired of her, and the way she puts him in these situations that have the duties of the duke in a chokehold, causing conflict in every gesture and action rising between them in the oddest of ways; the way her hair slid so neatly between his fingers remains in the back of wriothesley's mind, frequenting wandering thoughts on nights where he may admit to find loneliness far too boring of a company. eden is trouble, for he doesn't know her, not the wriothesley has had it in him to make any advancements in that direction. who and why are questions unanswered, left in nothing but assumptions from the warden's end, all thoughts skeptical in most ways. she's a stranger to fontaine, a stranger to other nations. there's no file on her. " i don't trust you," wriothesley mused, chains rustling as he rid himself of the heavy coat weighing down his shoulders, its heavy fabric meeting with the surface of the desk in his office. " i don't know anything about you; who are you, why are you here, why do you keep insisting on coming back ---" when he clearly attempts to deny her ( rather , himself ) the pleasure of --- what exactly ? their banter, seeing each other break boundaries and haul out parts of themselves that don't seem to do well in light? wriothesley finds it hard to answer, hard enough that boots echo through his office as steps carry him close to his guest ( clearly, it's a title she has begun to live up with how often he finds her around ). silvery gaze fall down onto hers , examining every feature as if trying to figure her out by here glances. he doesn't trust her. every bone in his body says so. ( there is something dangerous about her / what is it ? ) when did dangerous stop him ? so how come there's something in him that wishes to break past that skepticism, to reach out and --- eyes close for a second, chest heaving in a heavy, long sigh. oh , archons. why. " i don't understand you," and here there's a hand reaching out, sliding up against eden's cheek, that silvery gaze finding its way back onto her golden eyes ( they settle so quickly, sink into hers so willingly, starving for the gaze offered by her ), savoring in the gaze shared between them ( his touch is so soft , yet wary , ready to pull itself away if she proves to be hostile or raise threats to his name ). for only a moment, it might seem as if the duke... ... yearns. " ... but maybe i'd like to."

unprompted. || always accepting

─「エデン」─  why do you keep coming back ? a question that he had posed to her many times prior to yet another meeting of theirs, much to his displeasure. it was a question that the TRAILBLAZER had neglected to answer every single time he had uttered it. a shrug was what she usually gave him, followed quickly by her being distracted by something else and in turn, diverted even her own attention away from the query. sometimes, she'd humor him by claiming that she simply wanted to challenge herself whether or not she would be able to find another loophole in his security system he took pride in. the FORMIDABLE FORTRESS. or, maybe she simply took it as a personal goal to prove his effort in keeping her out futile.

                one would never know with her. no matter what the real reason was, she had found her way into meropide once more, and in his OFFICE this time.

                i don't trust you.

                it wouldn't be the first time anyone felt that way about her. the words themselves didn't offend nor hurt her. it was simply THE TRUTH, and the trailblazer had long understood that about him. she would be blind to not know that from the way he treated her and the way those icy blue hues landed on her. DOUBT, skepticism, conflict. and to be fair, he had all the reasons not to. that was why she didn't blame him. it was only NATURAL to be wary of things you don't understand.

                eden was leaning against the edge, the railing supported her weight as her frame faced his desk, facing him whether he was looking at her or not. it was as though he was trying to make sense of his own emotions, of his own actions up until this point. she could still remember his SCENT and taste when her fangs sank themselves into his skin — that, and the taste of his lips upon hers for that impulsive moment that she wondered if he regretted doing at all.

                her eyes didn't take themselves off of him, not even for a second, not even when he had shortened the distance between them, and the moment his hand slid to her cheek, she TILTED HER HEAD UP, meeting his gaze. there was a quiet moment on her part as he spoke. each syllable lingered in the air — the warmth of his hand seeping into her skin and instinctively, she nuzzled towards his hand. it was different from the way she had acted around him. different from how she was so eager to bite him. her eyes closed, and she leaned into his hand.

                ... for once, wriothesley saw the usually rebellious intruder turning into ... a lost soul. in that moment, it was as though there was no WALLS nor masks between them. it was a raw, unfiltered emotion and vulnerability. she stayed still, allowing his touch to remain before her gaze slowly reopened.

                " i don't know who i am ... " the words were uttered barely above a whisper. it sounded like a SECRET even when it wasn't one. her tone wavered for a moment as each syllable hung in the air. other than those upon THE ASTRAL EXPRESS and selected few upon herta space station ( barring the stellaron hunters who were responsible for her awakening, ) no one else knew that fact. if one listened carefully, there was a hint of REGRET lacing the words themselves.

                regret ... ?

                regret ... that no matter how much she wanted to tell him what he wanted to know, no matter how DESPERATELY she wanted someone to know her, to understand her, it was impossible. how could anyone hoped to know something even she didn't know ? gloved hand slowly came to his, placing over it to press it closer to her cheek.

                and her fingers shook unconsciously.

                it was the FIRST TIME she had ever looked so unguarded around him. so ... openly vulnerable. to allow someone to see through her, to see a part of her that was resonating with the core deep within. he had witnessed once of her faltering, of her control SLIPPING from the seed of disaster, but it was nothing like this. for once, she was ... genuinely scared. of what, exactly ? of the truth, of consequences, of WHAT she was, what she is, what she could be. when your path was decided for you, what did that make you ? when some strangers you don't remember, the destiny's slaves, probably know more about you than you do yourself. then how are you supposed to feel ?

                i wish i could tell you. but i have nothing i could give. nothing i could offer. no past. no memory. nothing. and that's the truth.

                i don't know who i was. i don't know who i am. i don't know who i'm supposed to be.

                the WHIRRING of the stellaron inside of her made her thin her lips. what could she say ? what else could she tell him ? that she wasn't even HUMAN ? that she was made to become a vessel of something capable of destroying worlds and civilization ? that the burning warmth in her chest was CANCER OF ALL WORLDS ? that he was right to be wary ? she was dangerous. he was right to want to keep her away from here.

                hold me. hold me. hold me.                 i don't want to hurt anyone.

                why do you keep insisting on coming back ---

                because ... because —

                i want to be seen. not as a hero. not as a perfect vessel. not as the pawn to the script. because you don't know anything about me, maybe ... maybe you could see who i am without all those titles, without all those expectations, without the PAST i don't remember.

                her fingers that rested upon his trembled. aureate orbs peered up towards him, gold meeting silver. the look she was giving him, it was one of HEARTBREAK.

                " am i a threat to you ? "

                i was hoping you'd see me as eden.                 even though i don't know who eden is myself.

#avaere #.answered #.[ eden | trailblazer ] #.wriothesley.eden tag #[ i have been staring at this ask for THREE WHOLE WEEKS #and my response changes EVERY TIME i tried to think of what eden might do #but all of it revolves around that question of who she is --- bc ... i realize that eden WANTED to tell him who she is #she wanted to #but the fact that she doesn't know #makes it impossible for her to do so #and she regrets that A LOT #coupled with that lingering fear that he'd find out about the stellaron #and that he'd view her as a threat #I DON'T KNOW IF THAT LAST QUESTION IS DELIVERED PROPERLY BUT IT WAS A VERY DEFINING MOMENT FOR HER TO ASK HIM THAT #this is all over the places i HOPE IT MAKES SENSE THO HJKLHLK ]

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.

But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.

And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.

And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.

#you have to consider the fact that she has no reason to doubt or question the Creche as the easy fix for her problems. #Go there. Get Purified. Done. #and she even wants to make sure that this lot gets treated too. Honestly she is so good to them by Gith standards it's insane #baldur's gate 3 #lae'zel

[ruushes]

sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)

plus:

#gale dekarios #shadowheart #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #my art #want to promote a greater shovel presence in the fanbase. where is all the shovel content. where is my beautiful daughter #she is gale's familiar. to me. #he may not necessarily *want* shovel #but it's too late now #he's her wizard it might be more apt to say #tara is not in any way shape or form a familiar she's like. his aunt. #also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭😭

[mydairpercabeth]

just saw the most heartbreaking annabeth take from ep 3

#brb gonna go violently sob in the corner #MINIBETH #MY BABY #SHE JUST WANTS THEM TO LIKE HER #SHES TRYING #PLEASE DONT LOOK AT ME WHILE A CRY #annabeth chase #percy jackson the lightning thief #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv #pjo tv show #percy series #percabeth #pjo series #LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW SHES THE MOST LOVED GIRL EVER

[krembruleed]

beach episode?

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale of waterdeep #astarion #karlach #shadowheart #lae'zel #wyll ravengard #lae'zel wanted shadowheart on her team but instead she is stuck with this 8 str loser. how is she supposed to win in these conditions #white girl sunbathing has been living in my head rent free for YEARS #krem scribbles

[fandomsandfeminism]

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

#this is the grandmother who passed away unexpectedly earlier this month #she was so cool yall #and so weird #they got married twice by the way once when Massachusetts legalized it and once when New Mexico did #they hiked the grand canyon together #they had a european river cruise planned for this fall #she was 89 and she wanted to see the whole world with her wife #and they were working on it #literally i thought they were roommates #and there was only one bed

[skellydun]

why is it when people ask me what i want as a gift i immediately become someone who enjoys nothing at all and has never wanted anything a day in their life.

#my birthday is a month away and my best friend and i #will be on our vacation in a treehouse and so she's trying to make it a Day and wants to have gifts there and im like uh #who am i ? #what do i like? #28 on the 09/18 baby

[nooling]

LOOK I JUST REALLY ENJOY THEIR FRIENDSHIP OK?? You can't tell me they wouldn't hang after their respective personal quests (spawn ending ofc)/emotional breakdowns over their own mortality

EDIT: I forgot to watermark these so now more than ever PLEASE don't repost

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #karlach #bg3 #Karlach 'I could kiss his pointy little face' cliffgate #karlach cliffgate #karlach bg3 #bg3 fanart #my art #I discovered CSP is a lot better than PS for animating #consistent artsyle? I don't know her #I just like their vibes #they seem like they'd be there for each other #maybe karlach just wanted someone to talk at her about absolute nonsense while she processes her own mortality bc that girl needs some help #I JUST REALLY LIKE THESE TWO

[lgbtlunaverse]

Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intend to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.

#this is about tenko bnha #but it is also about dahlia ace attorney #watch the nezumiVA videos on ace attorney trilogy they're great #anyway dahlia saying she (at like. 6 years old) apparently convinced her father to abandon her sister. hmmm #also everyone including herself thinking of her as the manipulator in control with terry when she was 14 dating a 20 y/o #anyway these characters both did do terrible things but feel the need to pile on more and remove nuance from where it exists #to convince themselves that this is what they really want. that they chose this. #it's about the loss of control it's about being a victim feeling worse than being a villain #at least if you were the bad guy you had autonomy #shimura tenko #shigaraki tomura #dahlia hawthorne

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

#man those episodes #so many things put into perspective #like Simon’s role as a protector and his kindness and empathy and compassion and existence being the catalyst for the rest of ooo to #flourish #and Betty is a protector of Simon #I wonder if the last two episodes will explore more of her character? there’s so much to be explored about her giving so much of herself #to Simon but not thinking about what she wants for herself #do we get to explore her feelings or see her at all? will she have changed or learned to let go #I think there will be some sort of closure for the both of them #but at what cost #I am still crying over that scene with Simon’s memory of Betty and their song #my art #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #golbetty

[sealsdaily]

Seal noises please?

awawawawawawa.....

#I love hanako #mod ribbon #asks #not daily #spotted seal #I remember posting her before on this blog with a caption about dental checkups but apprently this isnt a trick to hep with that #She just does it cause she wants to...

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

#I have more ideas in my head #but I didn't want to make the post too long #might repost later #might write a small fanfic off of this #I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #cardinal tim drake #stephanie brown #spoiler

[anxiouslittlecarrot]

I want everybody who’s calling Ken a Trophy Husband to know that he’s actually a Trophy Boyfriend, because when Ruth Handler invented Ken in the 1960s, she was adamant that he would never marry her and instead be her “handsome steady”, so that Barbie remained a figure of independence for the little girls and was never put in the position of housewife.

Her house is hers. She bought it and furnished it with money she made in her own job. In STEM, in politics, in healthcare, in fashion, in academy, in customer service. Her credit card is in her name (women in the US couldn’t have their own regardless of marital status until 1974). And it’s all pink and fashionable because femininity and badassness aren’t mutually exclusive. No matter who you are, you can be anything.

That’s why Barbie’s slogan is “you can be anything”. Teaching these ideals to little girls is why Barbie was created. Empowering women and empowering femininity is the original meaning of the Barbie doll. It’s not that you have to be all this to be a woman, but if you are all or some of this, you too are awesome.

And somehow pop culture deliberately changed that narrative. Sexualised, bimbofied, and villainised her, when she actually isn’t responsible for the impossible beauty standards — people are, she’s just a stylised, not-to-scale toy like most others.

Men are frothing because he’s just Ken and I guess they were expecting her to be just Barbie, but that’s exactly what Ken is. Canonically. A badass woman’s himbo boyfriend.

This movie has the potential to radically change the way we collectively see Barbie into what Ruth Handler originally intended, I’m so very excited

#I’m sorry for the rant I feel very strongly about this #I have more Barbie History if you want it #I did a full dive into Barbie History for a uni project and it was the best thing it changed the way I see her forever #she’s EVERYTHING he’s just her boyfriend Ken #barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #carrot.txt

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

#sansmaeda #sansmaeda wedding #undertale #danganronpa #nagito komaeda #sans undertale #meme post #I swear there's a reason why not everyone attended in nagito's side #no one wanted to go in the first place #sdr2 #fanart #so for the record: #Ibuki DID attend but could't stay put for 5 minutes so she got bored and left #Teruteru is still pretty angry and bitter at Nagito #Hiyoko couldn't care less and thought it was gross #Akane saw no reason to go since her main source of food wouldn't go (Teruteru) #And spoiler alert but Chiaki's fucking dead lmao #she would've gone tho #probably #Also pretend nagito's using really good foundation on his hand cuz I totally forgot about his metal arm

[greentea-and-cookies]

Since Velvette is a doll I like to think she can do that whenever she wants, and the other Vee's find it horribly creepy

Translation to Val's in spanish prayer (IN THE NAME OF THE SON THE FATHER AND YOUR WHORE MOTHEEEEEEEEER!!!!)

#whenever Velvette want Vox to buy her something and he says no she threatens him with taking her head off #he accepts immediately #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #velvette #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin valentino #valentino #my art #fanart #green tea & cookies #valentino praying like a madre latina