#Samurai Beef Special | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rustyvanburace · 5 months

Note

Issachar be like [Insert picture of Issachar with a maxed-out luck stat]

Also, hey, Reverse AU anon here! Wanted to give some thoughts.

I really like the idea of Issachar getting a demon in Naraku! I can imagine them having a special bond, with Issachar not wanting to fuse it away later when he gets a COMP and becomes a Hunter, despite the demon being weak. (I can honestly imagine a Mokoi with him, despite it being from the Night Race. It's pretty weak and I think it would be cute if Issachar tried to save it, risking his life when he saw it get bullied by stronger demons - something the small demon would want to return as a favour. I also read on the Fandom Wiki that Mokoi "kill those who use dark magic" which would be a funny little twist, considering what happens canonically with him (which is kinda black magic) - and maybe that Mokoi and Navarre could have a sort of beef with each other, since Navarre is the one using "black magic" here. Plus, I can imagine them fighting over Issachar's attention/affection lol.)

I kinda just imagined that Issachar would get past the Minotaur and Medusa by being both quick and lucky, running past them while they're distracted by demons. But now I'm thinking... Maybe Issachar's demon partner helps him out. When they first arrive, the demon seems visibly distressed, which makes Issachar alert, especially since he doesn't know what causes that distress. Then he sees it - the Minotaur, standing tall over the corpses of several demons. Issachar is no longer sure about this - he hasn't seen any demons like this while descending into Naraku. Isn't there a safer way to reach home? Still, he trusts his demon and they make a plan: the demon will anger a horde of other demons, luring them into the lair of the Minotaur. While the beast is distracted, the two slip by him, descending deeper down. I imagine the Medusa part goes similarly, with Issachar and the demon forming a plan to slip by her and avoid her eyes.

I also like the idea that Navarre follows the Samurai into Tokyo out of anger, but may I suggest: Navarre losing track of the Samurai and getting lost, just like Issachar did inside Naraku. He starts to wander and get even more angry that his perfect life was just ruined like this. All because of the Samurai! But he has to put that anger aside, having to find a place to hide and survive the night at least. People probably don't let him into the bunkers due to being a demon, so he has to sleep outside and learn how to hunt for himself. He's really bad at it, but he finds out the Hunter Associations and some "restaurants" often leave higher quality food in either the trash or inside their buildings, fairly unprotected. He decides to rob them occasionally since he "deserves" to eat better food - it still tastes shit tho, worse than the worst food back in Mikado. Food is food though and he keeps this habit up, making him a "pest" demon - that's where Issachar gets tasked to get rid of him.

Relating to this: Imagine Issachar meeting up with the Samurai and Navarre just building up the courage to confess his love for him (either platonically because that too would be a big deal for him or romantically) and then seeing his friend with his biggest enemies. The people who humiliated him, the people whose fault it is that he is here, in Tokyo. He runs away, not wanting to see Issachar again. Issachar, on the other hand, starts searching for Navarre, but he can't find him. He decides he must just be making trouble somewhere else, so he waits a few days. Still nothing. Another few days. Nothing. Has something happened to him? Maybe he got caught by a demon? He starts worrying, searching frantically for his friend. (I'll let you finish, but another idea I had for this is that maybe Navarre did get caught by a demon - that, or Issachar is the one who gets caught and Navarre has to save him. After that comes the "I still hate you" and them talking things over.)

Another fun idea: Issachar doesn't use magic. He has refused all of his demon's offers of demon whispers, saying they might "taint" him (a nice mirror to canon Issachar). So the one using magic is his demons and Navarre. Kinda like early SMT Heroes and Heroines lol.

Another fun idea for a drawing: Issachar offers Navarre some Nue burgers and Navarre is utterly disgusted by the idea Issachar would eat that (let alone offer it to him).

Also, relating to my last ask, by "buying some suspicious amount of junk food at the bar", I meant Issachar buying both himself and Navarre food. While I don't think they live together (yet) I like the idea that he brings Navarre food and they eat and discuss current events in some quiet corner of Tokyo where not a lot of demons or humans roam. And anything Navarre doesn't eat is just extra food for Issachar or his demons.

Also, sorry for the long ask! These are just the stuff that came to mind.

Aaaaa- These are all great additions!!

I am enamored at the thought of Issachar befriending Mokoi! I think it's fitting considering that Issachar is good-at-heart but still has a darkness following him. And of course, the potential shenanigans between Mokoi and Demon!Navarre having a kind of rivalry with each other. Seems that Issachar is just a magnet for mischief no matter what he does! As for the Minotaur--yeah I could see it where they incite some sort of war or uprising with the other Naraku demons to distract the Minotaur. Then have to run as fast as their legs can go (Issachar having to carry Mokoi probably) while the other demons literally get slaughtered behind them. I think getting past Medusa would comparatively be a little easier. Just a little.

Dumpster Demon Dumpster Demon Dumpster Demon!! Navarre would be SO miffed. And more annoying to the populace than any real danger to them. They approach Issachar like "Hey, can you get rid of an absolute freak of a demon over there?"

Ohh!! Scathing drama!! I can imagine Navarre being SO torn between his fury, confusion, and intense jealousy at seeing Issachar with them of all people. Maybe even a feeling of betrayal. Worse of all if Issachar finds out what Navarre's been up to from the other Samurai. Although it pisses him off that Navarre tried to eliminate his childhood friend Flynn, he still cannot get over his worry at Navarre's sudden disappearance either. Mokoi may deep down be a little worried too, but ultimately think that Issachar is panicking over nothing--either Navarre's ditched them or has gotten himself killed. As for Navarre, maybe in a twist of irony, he gets caught in some demon's domain while running off (just as fate would still have it!). He isn't discovered until a few days later when Issachar, having now reluctantly resigned to Navarre's disappearance, goes to eliminate the domain as part of a quest and is genuinely shocked to find him again. Of course there'd still be a lot of anger and hurt feelings between them to work out, but they're just so exhausted and relieved that each other's safety becomes far more important in that moment. Navarre is sincerely touched that Issachar went through all the trouble of searching for him.

I especially like the idea of Issachar having no magic and especially being adverse to demon whispers. It also fits with his actual demon self in-game lol, since he primarily uses physical skills as that. I think it also serves well as a boundary between him and Navarre's persuasive trickery too--but he'd become a little more open to at least hearing him out as they grow closer.

Navarre would definitely appreciate the shared food, even if he won't admit to it or act disgusted all the same. It's better than digging in the trash and far easier than hunting something else to eat. It also helps Navarre gain an acquired taste for the food, less because of the taste and more out of the sweet gesture of Issachar sharing his earnings. But never for Nue Burgers. Never that.

And no worries about the long ask, Anon! I really love getting asks and, if I'm to be honest, these are always such a joy for me and positively make my day. I can't overstate enough just how much talking about IV and my faves means to me and rekindling my love for them. Sappiness aside, these are really fun. Thank you for sharing!

#rusty answers #long post #issanava

2 notes · View notes

xxarmchairphilosopherxx · 1 year

Text

There's this odd trend in anime, have you noticed it yet?

It’s actually been there for a while, hell maybe since some of its early and most beloved days. It's mystic shrines tended to by beautiful maidans, wise elders beseeching the forces beyond on behalf of their people, and those so special moments shared by all who live around them… That’s right baby it’s the Spanish inquisition!!!!

Well technically it's the larger organization from which the surprising Spaniards derived from. Of course I mean the catholic church. That’s right from Trigon to Black lagoon to whatever the hell Black clover thinks nuns are, the Japanese anime industry is in love with the Bishop of Rome’s fan club. And while many enjoy these shoutouts or are just as equally confused by them, few have sought to shed light on this subject. But those who do I got some protestant v catholic beef with yell.

Many posit that the Japanese place so many Catholic imagery, ideas, and design motifs into their shows simply because it’s this interesting foreign thing that just looks neat. Pic related.

Well I say nay nay to that. Before we dive into the REAL reason for why Japan actually loves them Roman Residents, that the feds don’t want you to know. We must first at least cast off this lesser understanding.

Ok now that clickbait dramatics are out of the way this idea of Japanese fascination with Catholics and Christianity as a whole being purely based of aesthetics and just vague interest is not inherently wrong. But I do find it to be incomplete. I mean come on if they want some weird ass religion to put in their show they got India and Hinduism right across the way. Now this is no slight at my beloved Hindis out there but ya'll got to admit your religion would make the most balls to the walls kickass anime since Gurren Lagan destroyed my eyeballs and left for dead in Cincinnati.

(Cough Cough) Furthermore, I just find that there are other options for Japan that they seem to completely ignore. I mean why not Judaism or Islam, hell why not even other forms of Christianity like Greek Orthodoxy or even Mormonism. NO!

There is something special about Catholicism that these cool cats in Tokyo can’t get enough of and I’m about to blow your mind with it...

It’s not what’s different but what they have in common.

No I’m serious! There are numerous and very shocking similarities that make Catholicism the perfect mix of mysterious and familiar for the Japanese/Shinto palate.

First and foremost of these is chivalry. When one looks into the history of Bushido one will always find the Buddha specifically the Zen Buddhism mixed in with their own Shinto background. From this fertile soil of respect for nature and stoicism would sprout into the powerful flower of the bushido code. And oh, would you look at that that’s right! After the European horseman of old got sipping that sweet Catholic eucharist wine, what did they end up doing? Giving themselves a rule book called chivalry to keep them in line with that heavenly way. So obviously when a Japanese man would trace the lines, he’d be like "oh, so this is like what Zen and Shinto was like to the samurai? That’s pretty neat let’s throw it in my new anime."

Another odd one is gonna get a little more esoteric so work with me here. I believe that both the Catholic Church and Shintoism both have this acknowledgement of a similar phenomenon. The inherent mystic power of the feminine touch.

See shrine maidans and nuns. Both are almost synonymous when one thinks of their respective church or shrine. Like ask a western man what he thinks when you say catholic church... and after all the profane shit, he’ll likely say nuns. A similar phenomena would be seen in the Japanese man... minus the profanity. I believe this similarity exists because both Catholicism and Shintoism accounted for that special touch a woman can bring to a place. That grace and delicate nature, that way of mysterious connection to the more stranger aspects of the world. It’s like this meme.

Now next is another weird one that came to mind. They both have this ritualistic respect of water. For the Catholic this is baptism and the use of holy water to bless one’s self and other objects, a similar concept exists in Japan where one washes their hands before entering a Shrine and then there is the use of ritualistic waterfall bathing, Misogi.

now this is like baptism on steroids so here’s another handshake meme.

Alright now we can really get into the anime shit. Demons!!! Not only do they both share a common insane lore of specific demons and all the fucked-up shenanigans that ensue, but they also have equal amounts of exorcisms and exorcists to kick infernal ass. Seriously, I think this is like the main reason why we see so many Catholics in anime fighting demons. It's as old as the Nazarene Himself. So when a Japanese man hears something about Jesus casting out a thousand demon host named Legion you better believed he’s gonna go home and write some kick ass manga featuring some big ass demon named Legion. Said Japanese man pictured here

It's gonna be Jump's next big three slot just you wait.

And finally, to top this all off Imma end it wholesome 100. So there is this huge aspect in Japanese culture where a large majority will go to shrines get themselves and their children blessed and attend and partake in all the festivals, but not really call themselves Shinto. Is this not the same as all of those who go to Easter and Christmas mass even though they couldn't tell you a cross from a crucifix?

This is the final similarity. That something beyond the theology which binds the community together. And even though these so called 'different' worlds are oceans apart they share this community bond, that little slice of unity in this crazy world and makes it all worth it. And that kid is what we call in the philosophy Bizz an universal concept… and a way to make some kick ass anime.

Anyway that's about it smell you later hoped you learned something.

8 notes · View notes

blackberrywars · 1 year

Note

for the berry ask meme!~ 🍑 🍍 🍇

Hello my friend!! Thank you so much for playing, sorry it took so long!

🍑 is answered over here (it is long, do be warned)

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

Ooooh alright. I've got a list for each, but take all with a grain of salt, because I will read almost any AU if it's executed well.

Liked AUs:

Genderbending (tis my brand)

Western/Samurai AUs (separate or together)

Omegaverse (the genderfuckery, angst, and porn potential is A+)

Hanahaki (something about being literally choked by your own repression)

Trucker AUs (they're rare, but they work so well, especially for witchers)

Kitchen/Bakery AUs (the chaos is just very good —my special love for the Waffle House variety)

Mythology AUs (these are usually Greek, but honestly? They're just so interesting sometimes, and I get a new rabbithole to fall down)

Disliked AUs:

Royalty AUs (just not my taste, they often take a lot of worldbuilding to execute well, and not everyone does it)

High School AUs (I didn't even like these when I was in high school)

Victorian/Regency AUs (it's never been my thing, and some people just do not research it at all)

Soulmates (I have been known to read them, but I often get bored pretty quickly)

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Quite honestly? Nope. The Witcher canon is such an amalgamation of scenes, characters, and lore, that there isn't really a moment that I want to really really really write fics about. I mostly just take little scraps of lore and dialogue to fashion into a fic.

#berry's games #the witcher #fanfic writing

4 notes · View notes

limowlee7389 · 4 months

Text

2023 Year in Review.

Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow (8/10). The Interest of Love (8/10). Love to Hate You (7/10). Call It Love (7/10). Revenant (7/10). Moving (7/10). D.P. 2 (7/10). Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun (8/10). Daily Dose of Sunshine (7/10). My Dearest (9/10).Maiko-san Chi no Makanai-san (7/10). Yugire ni, Te wo Tsunagu (8/10). Rikon Shiyou Yo (6/10). Hidden Love (8/10). Lost You Forever (9/10).

I am trying something a little different for my year in review. Thought it may be kind of fun to review the year like this.

THEMES

Taylor Swift Era

Anime Era

Webtoon Era

FILM

Released in 2023

Past Lives (2023) ★★★★★

Oppenheimer (2023) ★★★★☆

Barbie (2023) ★★★★☆

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (2023) ★★★★★

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) ★★★★☆

Watched in 2023

Past Lives (2023) ★★★★★

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (2022) ★★★★★

Suzume (2022) ★★★★☆

Decision to Leave (2022) ★★★★★

Palm Springs (2020) ★★★★☆

TELEVISION

Released in 2023

BEEF (2023) ★★★★★

The Bear (2023)(s2) ★★★★★

Everything Now (2023) ★★★★☆

BLUE EYE SAMURAI (2023)(s1) ★★★★★

Ted Lasso (2023)(s3) ★★★★☆

Watched in 2023

The Bear (2022)(s1) ★★★★★

Normal People (2020) ★★★★★

L’amica geniale (2022)(s2&s3) ★★★★★

Killing Eve (2022)(s4) ★★★☆☆

Heart Break High (2022)(s1) ★★★★☆

DRAMAS

My Dearest (2023) ★★★★☆

Lost You Forever (2023) ★★★★☆

Hidden Love (2023) ★★★★☆

The Interest of Love (2023) ★★★★☆

Arthdal Chronicles: The Sword of Aramun (2023) ★★★★☆

ANIME

Aired in 2023

Skip and Loafer (2023) ★★★★★

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto (2023) ★★★★★

Trigun Stampede (2023) ★★★★☆

Tengoku Daimakyou (2023) ★★★☆☆

Jujutsu Kaisen (2023)(s2) ★★★☆☆

Watched in 2023

Made in Abyss (2017)(s1-s2) ★★★★★

Kimi ni Todoke (2012)(s1-s2) ★★★★★

Mob Psycho 100 (2016)(s1-s3) ★★★★☆

Recovery of an MMO Junkie (2017) ★★★☆☆

Beastars (2019)(s1-s2) ★★★☆☆

MUSIC - Album

Released in 2023

Barbie the Album ★★★★★

Hannah Jadagu - Aperture ★★★☆☆

Olivia Rodrigo - GUTS ★★★★☆

Taylor Swift - 1989 (Taylor’s Version) ★★★★★

Stray Kids - ROCK-STAR ★★★☆☆

Listened in 2023

Sweet Crude - Officiel//Artificiel ★★★★★

The Greeting Committee - This is It ★★★★★

Lizzo - Special ★★★★☆

Taylor Swift - Folklore ★★★★★

fig - BUD ★★★★☆

Artists

Taylor Swift

RADWIMPS

THEY.

Stray Kids

Lizzo

Tracks

Millenium Parade feat. Ringo Sheena - WORK

Kvi Baba - TOMBI

NewJeans - Super Shy

quinnie - touch tank

Stray Kids - ZONE (Bang Chan, Changbin, HAN)

BOOKS

Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner ★★★★☆

Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong ★★★★☆

Dear Girls by Ali Wong ★★★☆☆

Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson ★★★☆☆

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab ★★★☆☆

GRAPHIC NOVEL - Manga / Webtoon

Hell’s Paradise: Jigokuraku ★★★★★

Romance 101 ★★★★☆

Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii ★★★★☆

Nice to Meet You ★★★★☆

Sweet Home ★★★★☆

Currently Reading

Skip and Loafer

She’s Just My Type

Mystic Prince

One-of-a-kind-Romance

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto

Recaps, Challenges, & Lists

2023 Spotify Wrapped

MDL 2023 52-Week Challenge

MDL 2023: Completed

MDL 2023 Alphabet Challenge

trakt 2023 Watched

2023 serializd: wrapped

serializd 2023: Completed

TV Time 2023 Rewind

letterboxd wrapped

2023 Webtoon Recap

End of Year Drama Challenge 2023 Edition

#drama status #year in review #2023 #2023 year in review

1 note · View note

mitchellmarcher39 · 5 months

Text

Wagyu Beef From Newfoundland? Store And Purchase It Online!

Our grass-fed & completed Wagyu ribeyes are sweet, nutty, juicy, tender and just downright delicious. If you're ordering frequently, we advocate joining our bulk program to save on merchandise. Yakiniku fashion is extremely thin slices which would possibly be cooked over intense heat for a very brief period of time. Japanese Wagyu Beef should not be cooked for very long and never past medium doneness. This is to make sure that you expertise peak taste and fat amalgamation. Japanese Wagyu Beef is not an eating steak within the sense that Canadian and Americans eat a steak. wagyu beef cost Thrive Provisions presents four flavours, Honey Lime & Black Pepper, Maple Apple & Blueberry, Chorizo, and Coffee & Cocoa. Their recent addition of two new flavours, Chorizo and Coffee & Cocoa, spotlight artisanal flavours like smokey paprika in its Chorizo bar and local espresso roaster, Calgary Heritage Roasting Co., in its candy and savoury Coffee & Cocoa bar. Over 80 skilled and certified workers with more than 200 years of mixed expertise within the trade are able to serve you. With a little notice we are ready to source or create any product you need and we’re at all times happy that will help you select the perfect cuts for that special occasion so be certain to ask us for our dinner recommendation. The retained water share is at all times rounded to the closest entire number. The permitted labelling variation is a most of 20% above the declared quantity throughout the retained water assertion. Where 2 or more species or subspecies are highlighted as a part of the common name, the product shall comprise all named species or subspecies, shown in descending order of their proportion of the meat block. We search the top Canadian producers who meet the highest requirements for animal welfare and their concentrate on environmentally regenerative farming. The Craft Beef Company was designed to connect the most effective family ranches in Western Canada to the everyday Canadian who merely wants great beef and other meats – conveniently delivered to their door. So, in late 2020 we made the choice to start carrying a variety of Wagyu to amplify our vary of premium beef product. Brant Lake Wagyu is a brand recognized for its ‘superior artisan beef’. Brant Lake Wagyu prioritizes animal care, diet and humane handling, finally resulting in a premium product of beef. Conditions apply, so contact us in case you have any questions about our delivery service. We ship our merchandise chilled and frozen only to sure regions to make sure they arrive in excellent condition. Popular cuts sell quick, and our Primals Program requires order and deposit ahead of time. Between its intense marbling, melt-in-your mouth texture, and rich beefy flavor, there are a mess of reasons you have to try our premium Wagyu at present. “Depends on where the cut is, the Canadian cost is perhaps double, and then, you have the Australian at about two-and-a-half times, and then you could have the Japanese at about four to four-and-half occasions the regular Canadian triple-A beef,” he says. Wagyu beef ribeye steak at Harmon's Steakhouse on Elgin Street in Ottawa. Alternatively use it as a easy name to action with a hyperlink to a product or a page. Blue Ribbon beef is our grade of Prime Grade beef and prime 10% of Alberta AAA. We additionally proudly carry Satsuma A5 100 percent Black Cattle Japanese Wagyu at Summit Meats. This Wagyu has a BMS (beef marbling score) of 11-12, and comes from the Satsuma area within the southern tip of Kyushu Island in Japan. These cattle are grain-fed for over 650 days with roasted soybean as a special ration. Wagyu is the Rolls Royce of beef, the food of Emperors and Samurai warriors.

#waygu beef #canadian wagyu #canadian wagyu beef #wagyu beef in canada #wagyu beef for sale #wagyu beef online canada #wagyu beef cost

1 note · View note

pb-dot · 6 months

Text

Peebs' Adventures in Self-Care: Safety Razors

I have a somewhat strained relationship with hair. Not body hair as much, which is good for me because I'm hirsute as fuck and the stuff is both all over the place and quite thick. No, my beef with the stuff on my head. Like many men, my grandfather before me was hit particularly early and particularly hard, I have a bit of an early male pattern baldness thing going on. It's not a look I particularly like, even when considering the societal Bad Vibes when it comes to balding. So, I chose to do what many fellas in my position chose to do, which is to say, shave the whole mess off and dodge the MPB entirely by leaning in.

There is, however, a problem. The hair I have which is not balding, that is to say roughly 75% of my scalp, is thick as fuck. I've always had thick hair, so I noticed the balding mostly as it thinning out on top at first. Now, however, I wish it'd all wilt a little bit because getting the sides and back shaved down and maybe more importantly kept down is a nightmare without end.

Put frankly, I have found very few shaving solutions that make the workload manageable. Buzzcutting it all down works ok, but leaves a very conspicuous "this spot balds" area on account of not getting the hair all the way down. For a while, I used a specialized scalp trimmer, but it started making sounds that told me it didn't like outputting the RPM needed to cut through the keratin jungle on the regular. Cassette razors I just plain don't like because they're expensive and not that convenient, come loaded with excess plastic waste, and get gummed up with my hair in a real hurry. So, as such I was left with two options, with a third option being giving up, which I tried but also found not great for the ol' depression.

Option one: A straight razor. The undernourished goth kid in me likes this option, but it feels entirely too risky given my dyspraxia issues and disappointing motor control in general, so that's out for now. Option two, however, was giving a safety razor a go, which is what I did.

The results? I would call them mixed at this point. I've only used it a couple of times, and I hope I get better at it because I did not escape the experience without a few nicks. On the bright side, the nicks were painful right away and thus easier to identify and learn from than the cassette razor "samurai movie invisible cut"-style nicks. The results were ok, there were a couple of spots I couldn't quite get cleared up, but I'm assuming that'll improve with some practice.

Also, holy shit I hate shaving the back of my head. It's the most impenetrable hair jungle on my entire head and I can't fucking see it. "Helping me shave the back of my head" goes straight to the top of my list of reasons to get a partner and/or open-minded roommate. Alternatively, maybe I should look into controlled fires or micro-scale industrial logging.

More on this as it develops unless the ol' depression takes over, I suppose.

#peebs thinks #self care #shaving #safety razor #hirsute beast problems

0 notes

candy-floss-crazy · 11 months

Text

21 Weird McDonald's Burgers

The one thing that was consistent at McDonalds was the food. All McDonalds served the same range of burgers, wraps etc. So where ever you go you have a familiar friendly menu right. Erm, no actually it isn't. The fact is that McDonalds tailors many of its menus to suit the local market. There is no point for instance going heavy on the beef in India. Much of the population are Hindus who consider the cow a sacred animal. In fact in some parts of India it is illegal to sell beef. So lets look at some of the wonderful and weird McDonald burger options that you probably haven't seen before. Maharaja Mac Maharaja Mac This is the result of selling into a market that consider your main ingredient to be sacred. Well, not exactly the beef, but the cow that donated in. So in the Indian market, McD's replaced the beef with chicken. The Benedict Bagel Benedict Bagel Take a strip of bacon, a slice of cheese, a nicely rounded egg, a lashing of Hollandaise sauce, and stick it inside a bagel. What you then have is a sort of eggs Benedict. Available in the New Zealand market. Japanese Black Burger Japanese Black Burger If you want weird food then go to Japan. Between eating stuff that is raw, deadly, still alive, there is also stuff that is black. This Big Mac replacement is made using squid ink, to give it that look. Add some spicy sauce and cheese and you have something that looks like its crawled out of halloween. Of all the weird McDonald's burgers, this is the wierdest. Maine Lobster Roll Maine Lobster Roll High end food like lobster isn't something you normally associate with a low rent burger joint like McD's. However in certain markets such as Maine, and indeed at one time in Italy, they have short term specials. One such example was the McLobster. McArabia McArabia The McArabia, is available across the Arab world, and Pakistan. Two chicken patties, salad and tahini sauce, folded into a flat bread. To be fair it isn't much different to a chicken sandwich, other than the choice of bread. McRice McRice The McRice, available across the Philippines, pretty much starts out as a regular burger or chicken sandwich. Where it deviates, is in the bun. Or lack of a bun to be accurate. These are sandwiched between two slices of toasted rice. Shrimp Burger Shrimp Burger Across some of its Asian markets, Maccy D's have replaced the beef with shrimp. Not all the beef we hasten to add, they still sell burgers, but this is an additional line. Shrimp ground up and made into a pattie, sweet chilli sauce and a corn dusted bun. Pizza Mac Pizza Mac Many people love burgers, and also love pizza. So our teutonic friends, with their world renowned efficiency, combined the two. A big mac inside a pizza bun. Pork Samurai Pork Samurai If you fancy a trip to Thailand, you can indulge yourself in a pork samurai. As typical McDonalds fare such as beef isn't as common in the country, they have switched to pork. Teriyaki sauce, lettuce and mayo completes the ensemble. Nurnburger Nurnburger Another teutonic offering. Bratwurst sausages with mustard and onions. This one only had a brief run, but hey, nothing wrong with bratwurst. Mashed Potato Burger Mashed Potato Burger How do you improve on a Big Mac. Well, if you are part of the McDonald's Chine team then the answer apparently, is topping it with a big dollop of mashed potato. McKroket McKroket Our Dutch cousins came up with this concoction. A mixture of ground beef and cheese made into a fried patty. Then topped with mustard. KiwiBurger KiwiBurger Another New Zealand special, the kiwiburger. A beef patty with an egg and beetroot slices. Burger and Cheese Burger and Cheese It would seem that our friends in Brazil are partial to cheese. Very partial. In fact your burger comes with a big tub of melted cheddar to dip into. Crab Croquette Burger Crab Croquette Burger Another entry from the land of the rising sun. This one is made from snow crab and mushrooms. Reports are it isn't as nice as it sounds. Cordon Bleu Burger Cordon Bleu Burger An entry from Poland. This one is ideal for those who can't make their mind up. Beef, chicken and bacon. Bulgogi Burger Bulgogi Burger From South Korea, comes the Bulgogi burger. A pork patty covered in sticky Bulgogi sauce a sweet, smoky, and slightly tangy concoction. McToast McToast An Italian concoction, this must be the most appetizing looking piece of food ever. Did they use special software to remove all the colour from the picture? We love weird McDonalds, but not this one. Dosa Masala Burger Dosa Masala Burger A thin fermented rice and lentil pancake mixed with spicy potato. And drizzled with chutney mayo. It doesn't really look appetizing, but the Indians must like it. McFalafel McFalafel Three pieces of falafel garnished with tomatoes, lettuce, onion, pickles and topped with Tehina sauce served in a tortilla wrap. McTurco McTurco Turkish kebabs in a flat bread. Where else, but Turkey. Another local delicacy that should be shared with the wider McDonalds family. When you look there are some really weird McDonald's offering out there. McDonalds Read the full article

0 notes

coffeeenjoyer · 3 years

Text

A user on reddit has translated the popularity vote results included in Famitsu's issue, dunno if it was posted here before, but here they are (list has some minor spoilers so beware of that):

Q1. Favourite character in the series:

Miles Edgeworth (537 votes)

Phoenix Wright (464 votes)

Maya Fey (264 votes)

Kazuma Asogi (194 votes)

Apollo Justice (161 votes)

Godot (143 votes)

Barok van Zieks (141 votes)

Franziska von Karma (133 votes)

Herlock Sholmes (107 votes)

Ryunosuke Naruhodo (99 votes)

Q2. Favourite (main) defence attorney:

Phoenix Wright (735 votes)

Ryunosuke Naruhodo (222 votes)

Apollo Justice (193 votes)

Mia Fey (128 votes)

Athena Cykes (61 votes)

Q3. Favourite (side) defence attorney:

Kazuma Asogi (371 votes)

Diego Armando (292 votes)

Gregory Edgeworth (183 votes)

Ryutaro Naruhodo (180 votes)

Shigaraki Tateyuki/Raymond Shields (142 votes)

Q4. Favourite prosecutor:

Miles Edgeworth (547 votes)

Barok van Zieks (175 votes)

Godot (139 votes)

Franziska von Karma (137 votes)

Ichiyanagi Yumihiko/Sebastian Debeste (83 votes)

Q5. Favourite investigative partner:

Maya Fey (556 votes)

Herlock Sholmes (188 votes)

Trucy Wright (136 votes)

Susato Mikotoba (134 votes)

Kay Faraday (87 votes)

Q6. Favourite defendant:

Larry Butz (230 votes)

Soseki Natsume (228 votes)

Iris (130 votes)

Gina Lestrade (83 votes)

Maximillion Galactica (82 votes)

Q7. Favourite witness:

Wendy Oldbag (202 votes)

Polly (88 votes)

Larry Butz (46 votes)

Dick Gumshoe (36 votes)

Satoru Hosonaga (35 votes)

Q8. Favourite mascot character/animal:

Blue Badger (293 votes)

Steel Samurai (232 votes)

Missile (176 votes)

Polly (92 votes)

Wagahai (62 votes)

Q9. Favourite character with a strange name (favourite name pun):

Jobanni Jikouru/Carmine Accidenti (179 votes)

Hoshiidake Aiga/Luke Atmey (147 votes)

Elyder Meningen/Odie Asman (113 votes)

Cosney Megundal/Magnus McGilded (94 votes)

Konaka Masaru/Redd White (66 votes)

Q10. Character with the most memorable gestures/mannerisms/animations:

Godot's sliding coffee animation

Ryunosuke Naruhodo's awkward desk slap to a confident desk slam

Lute Atmey's breakdown

Simon Blackquill's blade draw

Apollo Justice's breakdown

Q11. Something you'd like to try touching:

Nick's prickly head (348 votes)

Kazuma's flowing headband (325 votes)

Edgeworth's cravat (262 votes)

Apollo's shining forehead (94 votes)

Gold statue Professor Layton (86 votes)

Dahlia Hawthorne's fluttering butterflies (75 votes)

Lotta Hart's 'bomber head' (48 votes)

Q12. Something you'd like to try being on the receiving end of:

Franziska von Karma's whip of love (285 votes)

Wendy Oldbag's machine gun talk (203 votes)

Godot's coffee throw (202 votes)

Susato Takedown (201 votes)

Van Zieks' axe kick (181 votes)

Edgeworth's assessment of you for bonuses (mainly to go down) (133 votes)

Simon Blackquill's sword strike (57 votes)

Mikagami Hakari/Justine Courtney's extendable gavel (26 votes)

Steel Samurai's spear (11 votes)

Q13. Something you'd like to try tasting:

Godot's special blend - No. 107 (309 votes)

Van Ziek's hallowed chalice (241 votes)

Gumshoe's Lunchbox (205 votes)

Guy Eldoon's salty noodles (198 votes)

La Carneval's beef steak (148 votes)

Dee Vasquez's T-bone steak (62 votes)

Viola Cadaverini's tea (27 votes)

Q14. Team Ladder or Stepladder?

Ladder (424 votes)

Stepladder (710 votes)

Q15. Favourite Payne hairstyle:

AA1 Winston Payne

TGAA1 Taketsuchi Auchi

AA3 Winston Payne

TGAA2 Taketsuchi Auchi

AA4 Winston Payne

AA5&6 Gaspen Payne

Q16. Most memorable case:

AA3-5 Bridge to the Turnabout (660 votes)

AA1-4 Turnabout Goodbyes (331 votes)

TGAA2-5 The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo (299 votes)

AA2-4 Farewell, My Turnabout (255 votes)

AA1-5 Rise from the Ashes (167 votes)

Gyakuten Kenji 2-5 The Grand Turnabout (159 votes)

AA2-3 Turnabout Big Top (158 votes)

AA1-2 Turnabout Sisters (129 votes)

TGAA1-2 The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band (128 votes)

AA6-5 Turnabout Revolution (115 votes)

Q17. Favourite soundtrack:

Main menu music

Parners - The game is afoot!

Klavier Gavin - Guilty Love

Pursuit - A Great Turnabout

Apollo Justice - A New Court is in Session!

Turnabout Sisters theme

"All"

Q18. Did you cry at any point in the series? When was it?:

Yes (975 votes), in no particular order, during:

AA1-4 Turnabout Goodbyes

AA5-4 The Cosmic Turnabout

AA3-5 Bridge to the Turnabout

AA2-3 Turnabout Big Top

TGAA2-5 The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo

Gyakuten Kenji 2-5 The Grand Turnabout

No (294 votes)

Q19. Please tell us what kind of Ace Attorney goods would you like to see: (open-ended, doesn't promise anything, some of the comments are translated)

Steel Samurai figure

Van Zieks' hallowed chalice, Trucy's panties (responder was saying in the context of comfy roomwear)

Blue and red chess set

The Great Ace Attorney fountain pen

Gina's smoke bath bomb

AA/TGAA character-themed perfumes

"There has been many AA1-AA3 character goods... hope to see 4/5/6 goods too... also something like a compilation of stills from the game please"

"Porting of Gyakuten Kenji and new works in the series please!!"

There were also some messages regarding the 20th anniversary but since they weren't translated they're not included here

#ace attorney #the great ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #dai gyakuten saiban #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #ace attorney 20th anniversary #posting this again since the format for the previous one on mobile was kinda messed up

29 notes · View notes

buffetlicious · 2 years

Text

The long awaited Samurai is back in town - Samurai Burger (サムライバーガー) from McDonald's Singapore that is. Back in store for a limited time from Sept 22 onwards. It is available in beef or chicken and in single or double patties versions. The burger’s sidekick, Seaweed Mcshaker Fries is back as well.

youtube

I got both burger and fries in the Samurai Beef Special (S$10.55) set meal. It came with a single patty Samurai Beef Burger, the all-time favourite, golden-crisp Seaweed McShaker Fries and ice green tea. The grilled beef patty is dipped in teriyaki sauce and topped with crispy lettuce and a drizzle of mayonnaise. Pour in the fries and seaweed seasoning into the provided paper bag and give it a few shakes. Enjoy.

For mum, I got her the ala carte Samurai Chicken Burger (S$6.80). A whole piece of tender boneless chicken dipped in teriyaki sauce topped with lettuce and mayonnaise in sesame buns. Kind of messy to eat with the sauce dripping but tasty nonetheless.

For dessert, we got the Hojicha Twist Cone and Hojicha Cone (S$1.20 each). The Japanese roasted tea soft serve ice cream is so aromatic. Go for the single flavour and not the dual flavours version so the vanilla half don’t dilute the tea taste.

Topmost image and video from McDonald’s Singapore

23 notes · View notes

goldenkamuyhunting · 3 years

Text

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 277 “Operation ‘Protect Yuusaku’s Virginity’”

Sorry, I’m obviously late with the ramblings but the scanlations were out late and, due to work, I didn’t have any free time once they were out. Anyway here’s there are the new ramblings and...

...yeah Kaeko’s attempt at stealing Sugimoto’s virginity gets a special place in the GK horror scenes... but let’s got with order.

We start with Tsurumi sitting on a chair in the Imperial Japanese Army 1st division Headquarters pretending he had no idea the Ainu gold ever existed in front of Lieutenant General Okuda Hidenobu, Commander of the 1st division. The latter wants Tsurumi to find the gold for the Central Government as Tsurumi’s information-gathering ability is highly regarded.

Just this should make Okuda realize Tsurumi is lying when he pretends not to know about the Ainu gold but whatever, Okuda is clearly not the sharpest pencil in the box.

Anyway Tsurumi asks Okuda if this means he should report to him instead than to his superiors. Okuda waves off his concerns saying Hanasawa is in his debt so of course he wouldn’t mind if Tsurumi were to report to an officer that’s not him… especially if he never discovers about it because I honestly doubt Okuda is planning to warn Hanazawa about this.

Whatever.

Okuda, who evidently has no idea that everything he’ll say to Tsurumi will be used against him and for Tsurumi’s advantage, better explains him the whole entity of the problem.

We learn that inside the Army people from Satsuma domain and people from Choushuu domain, are held in high esteem and considered the only true military men, likely due to them being the winners in the Boshin war and Meiji restoration. However, despite their past alliance, they basically can’t stand to each other and are always struggling one against the other.

Hanazawa is from Satsuma so, of course, he doesn’t want a scandal to befall to his family for fear of consequences from people from Choushuu.

He asked Okuda’s help because Okuda is from the Kokura domain and so he looked like an impartial and safe choice, proving Hanazawa’s understanding of men is quite terrible because Okuda fully plans to take advantage of what he knows about Hanazawa and, as we’ll learn later from Tsurumi, he’s likely on the Choushuu side. Really, Hanazawa can’t even pick up his allies. -_-

Okuda is no better.

He knows Tsurumi is from Niigata, from a highly-esteemed family of former samurai from the Echigo-Nagaoka Domain which had an awful time during the battle of Hokuetsu (one of the last battles of the Boshin war) against the imperial forces composed mostly by people of Satsuma and Choushuu so he thinks Tsurumi would be willing to help to put an end to the control those factions have over the army because he should have a grudge against them.

We see that Tsurumi’s face darkens, which might mean that yes, Tsurumi has no sympathy for them, but Tsurumi is the sort of man who doesn’t merely follow his feelings, but remains calm and plans the doom of his adversaries quietly. The Akō vendetta probably felt like an amateur work to Tsurumi.

In fact, instead than asking more about the Ainu gold he’s supposed to find, Tsurumi asks more about the scandal in which Hanazawa is involved, planning to use it as ammunition in his own personal plans.

Then, as he leaves the place with his men, he shows his true colours.

He didn’t buy at all Okuda’s words that he’s “impartial” believing he’s actually on Choushuu side and afraid if Hanazawa were to get the gold, it would strengthen the Satsuma position. Tsurumi, who’s much more intelligent than Okuda or Hanazawa, finds all this a pathetic face, admitting he’s sick of Central.

He also confesses that yes, he knew about the Ainu gold already from his time in Russia (it’s unsure if from his time in Russia as Hasegawa or from his time in Russia with Tsukishima), and that Okuda’s words merely corroborated the info Tsurumi had about it… which is interesting because it confirms Okuda learnt about the Ainu gold from a source that’s not Tsurumi.

Then Tsurumi informs his men they’ll pay a visit to Yuusaku and Kikuta because evidently Okuda had told him also who he had tasked with protecting Yuusaku’s virginity.

Meanwhile Kikuta informs Sugimoto Kaeko wants to meet Yuusaku again at the Imperial Hodel.

Sugimoto worries about what will happen should Kaeko find out he’s a fake.

Kikuta thinks he’s worrying for himself and tells him he’ll just have to return the uniform and go on his way… although as he says so we don’t see Kikuta’s face.

Sugimoto is actually worried about Kaeko as if she were to figure out, this would mean she would know something dirty about the Army (read= Hanazawa).

Kikuta gives him a sideway look, his face slightly shadowed as he tells him he has a plan B Sugimoto doesn’t need to know.

It’s interesting how Kikuta never asked Sugimoto his name. Of course the Doylistic explanation is that so he won’t recognize him when he’ll heard his surname from Tsurumi during the gold hunt but I wonder if the Watsonian explanation is this was to protect Sugimoto. Sugimoto too by now know things he would be better not knowing. If they were to tell Kikuta to kill him he could let him escape and then cover up for him by saying he didn’t even know his name so he can’t track him. Alternatively it can be to protect himself, as he might be trying not to get too close to Sugimoto.

Meanwhile at the Army Academy Mrs. Suzuki accidentally asking Yuusaku if Kikuta had relied to him the message, informs him that today was the day in which ‘the matter at the imperial hotel’ (帝国ホテルの件 Teikoku hotel no kudan) was scheduled. To make matter worse a man immediately scolds her as she wasn’t supposed to talk with Yuusaku about it. In the end they’ve to confess that they were told to pass all the letters and telegrams for Yuusaku to Kikuta which prompts Yuusaku to decide to go ask him directly.

A moment later Tsurumi drops at the place and he’s told that Yuusaku just left and the same guy who has scolded Mrs. Suzuki for informing Yuusaku about the meeting has no problems telling Tsuurmi about were Yuusaku went.

So we jump at the Imperial Hotel where Sugimoto expects to have another luxurious dinner with Kaeko and, instead Kaeko’s maid drops the beef stew all over him.

Using as excuse that Yuusaku has to absolutely change himself Kaeko pushes Sugimoto upstairs, claiming she booked a room there. As they walk they’re spotted by Tsukishima who informs Tsurumi while a worried Kikuta follows the action with his binoculars.

Once in the room a panting Kaeko urges ‘Yuusaku’ to rip off his clothes and strip naked in the bathroom.

While a naïve Sugimoto worries about how pretty the room is, Kaeko drags him in the bathroom and tells him to wash up.

Sugimoto finds a little odd how the bathtub is already filled but strips naked anyway.

Meanwhile big bad wolf Kaeko, with an expression that would make Jack Nicholson in “The Shining” proud, tries to get into the room. To Sugimoto’s credit he doesn’t scream like a banshee as Wendy Torrance did but tries to close her out of the bathroom.

Kaeko asks him to not bring her shame as a woman. Sugimoto weakly defends his own virginity by claiming she doesn’t know him well. Kaeko claims she doesn’t mind as he looks handsome and steals his clothes from under the door before threatening to let ‘Yuusaku’s’ situation be known to other people if he were to refuse her.

Sugimoto worries as he knows he has been called in as a stand in to avoid this kind of situation.

Meanwhile outside Tsurumi asks to Kaeko’s maid, Hamako, if she has seen a candidate officer. She denies it as she’s clearly there to stop everyone from interrupting but Tsurumi hears Kaeko calling Yuusaku.

Tsurumi says out loud to his men that Kikuta was ordered to break off the engagement so he doesn’t understand why Yuusaku and Kaeko are in a room by themselves.

I wonder if Tsurumi came there because he was hoping to be the one to save Yuusaku’s virginity so as to put Hanazawa in debt… or if he’s saying this out loud so as to let the maid know about Kikuta’s involvement. We’ll see.

Usami instead tells Ogata this will be the first time he’ll get to meet his little brother, a man worthy of waving the regimental flag.

Usami again calls Ogata just Hyakunosuke, as if the two of them were friends… or if he just were looking down on him taking confidence when he shouldn’t, as Ogata in past chapters always called Usami by surname.

Whatever, this means that Usami, and by default Tsukishima and Tsurumi, are informed of Ogata’s parentage. Does the whole 7th know? Maybe. If that’s the case I wonder who told them.

Back to Sugimoto he asks Kaeko if this is all because Yuusaku’s mother wants to keep him away from the army. Kaeko explains Yuusaku’s mother worked as a nurse at a special military hospital in Hiroshima during the Sino-Japanese war. This experience pushed her to decide her son shouldn’t take part to the war. Kaeko adds Yuusaku should show consideration for his mother’s feelings.

Sugimoto says this is something Yuusaku should decide by himself as it’s his own life, basically betraying the fact he’s not Yuusaku. Kaeko is confused while Sugimoto tells her to ask Yuusaku which he wants to chose before signalling to Kikuta there are problems.

In that same moment Tsurumi and his men barges in the room claiming they’re there to protect Yuusaklu’s virginity.

I wonder if Tsurumi is practising for when he’ll have to ‘rescue’ Koito.

As for Kaeko, she thinks Tsurumi is working for Hanazawa and tells him if he doesn’t get out she’ll tattle everything to the Army. At this Tsurumi threatens to kill her and Sugimoto, thinking killing Kaeko is Kikuta’s ‘plan B’, decides to barge out completely naked, threatening to kill them all.

Ogata, who has no idea the naked man with murdering intentions is not Yuusaku, grins, likely thinking ‘Yuusaku’ is rather far from pure.

Likely he believes Yuusaku’s state means he was about to sleep with Kaeko, and Sugimoto’s statement about murdering people might have caused Ogata to think the ‘oh so perfect’ Yuusaku, is actually not perfect at all.

I feel bad for him because, when he’ll discover Yuusaku isn’t the guy in front of him, he’ll be in for a disappointment.

Anyway this chapter ends here.

This chapter gives us some interesting info about the Army, Tsurumi and how Ogata’s status of bastard son was known to Tsurumi’s inner circle and, possibly, to the rest of the 7th. It fleshes more the Hanazawa family, although I’ve to say I noticed when Noda has to talk about Hanazawa or his wife he recycles always the same image.

Well, I guess that’s all. Sorry if it’s late and kind of jumbled but the whole timing and work didn’t help me at all.

#Golden Kamuy #Tsurumi Tokushirou #Okuda Hidenobu #Ogata Hyakunosuke #Usami Tokishige #Tsukishima Hajime #Golden Kamuy Ramblings and Theories #Hanazawa Yuusaku #Hanazawa Koujirou #Hanazawa Hiro #Kikuta Mokutarou #Sugimoto Saichi #Suzuki #Kaneko Kaeko #Yamamura Hamako

53 notes · View notes

paperficwriter · 4 years

Text

Your First Date

Some sweet, fluffy batarou. Being teens in love.

Cut is for length, not for content.

“Oi, Badd. Why didn’t we go on a first date?”

“Well, ya hospitalized me, and then ya went on some kind of monster rager and ended up becomin’ some kinda gargoyle thing? With horns, I heard? And then ya ran off for a hot minute until ya showed up here ‘cause Zenko thought you were some kinda stray to bring home, and here we are.”

“...Heh, yeah, that just about covers it.”

Somehow during months of living together, this conversation didn’t even come up until they were sitting together on the couch, watching an anime one evening that depicted a boy and a girl in a very typical ‘is this a date?!’ situation. They were quiet for a little bit after that, until Badd prompted him by elbowing him in the arm. “Did ya want to? I mean, I feel like we kinda skipped that whole thing, yeah? Usually ya date before ya start livin’ with someone.”

“So what’s the difference between going on a date and dating?”

Badd paused the television and turned to him, wedging himself into the back sofa cushion on his side. “The date’s kinda...the thing itself. Datin’ is when you’re, like, ‘Let’s see how this pans out and if I wanna be your girlfriend for the long haul.’”

“Does that mean we skipped straight to making you my girlfriend?”

“Psh. I’m savin’ my girlfriend status for The One. You lose.”

Garou chuckled and pulled one of Badd’s hands over to rub between his. “Never been on a date before,” he mumbled.

“Are ya serious?” Badd winced when Garou bent one of his fingers sideways. “Ow. I didn’t mean it t’ be shitty! You’re good-lookin,’ so I figured ya woulda had to beat ‘em off with a stick!”

Holy shit, did Garou just blush?! “It’s not like I really had a chance, with the whole ‘leaving home and living at a dojo and then dishonoring said dojo and everything afterward,’ you know?”

Badd dragged his thumb against one of the long lines across Garou’s hand. Then he realized it wasn’t actually the love line, or the life line, or whatever. But rather, it was the pink, faded scar left from his hero hunting. “That means if I take ya out on a date, it’s not just our first date but your first date. Officially.”

Garou nodded. “Which means it can’t suck.”

“Hey, my dates don’t suck.”

“They better not. You don’t have an excuse like I do, since it sounds like you’ve been on a million, you hussy.”

Badd snatched his hand back so he could grab him by one of his wild ‘ears’ of hair. “I ain’t a hussy! And I haven’t been on a million dates! Just a few!”

Thin fingers jabbed at his side right into one of his ticklish pressure points, and Badd’s body buckled in on itself. “No, no, you’re clearly the dating pro, so you better wow me or I’m leaving!”

“Fine!” Badd threw himself on top of Garou, grabbing him by his shirt. He dropped his face close to his with a huge grin. “Then I’m gonna take ya on the best damn date o’ your life. So get ready, wolf boy.”

Garou snuck in a kiss onto Badd’s round nose, flashing his own teeth in a smile. “Okay. I’m holding you to that.”

—

Badd ended up borrowing a car. Although he had gotten his license, he didn’t really need one in the city, since he either walked wherever he needed to go or took public transportation. But if he was going to take Garou on a date, they were going to have to head out a little distance from his normal stomping grounds, enough that no one would immediately recognize him or, worse, ask questions about Garou.

And even as it was, Badd still didn’t sport his normal pompadour, and Garou had one of his beanies over his trademark hair. “So, where are we going?” Garou asked as he reached over to play with Badd’s loose strands where they framed his face.

“It’s a surprise, ya goober. Also, I, uh...didn’t wanna talk about it so much in front o’ Zenko or she’d be sore we weren’t taking her.”

“Scandalous.”

“Shut up!” Badd gave him a shove, but he was smiling. The drive itself was nice; the air was cool, they listened to some music (and since it was just them, they didn’t even have to suffer through Amai Mask’s discography), and the sunset was a beautiful bleed of color across the horizon.

Garou grinned when Badd turned into a hotel. “Oh, so it’s that kind of a date, huh?”

“It ain’t like that! Don’t be weird!” Badd’s cheeks burned up to his ears. “I got us a room so we didn’t have to rush back tonight, and so I didn’t have to find some random place to park.”

When Badd got back from checking in, Garou had his face out the window of the car, sniffing, eyes big. It was like he was looking into the distance, at nothing in particular, an invisible interest.

Badd couldn’t help ruffling the top of his head. “What is it, boy?” he asked like he was talking to a dog, “Whattaya smell, huh?”

Garou rolled his eyes but didn’t really divert his attention, though his did close his eyes. “It’s been forever since I went to the beach. I can smell the sand and the water...and I can hear it.”

Badd turned his ear up, letting the wind hit him. He could just barely make out the salty scent, but he certainly couldn’t hear it. “Good thing that ain’t the surprise.”

Tipping his head curiously, Garou got out of the car, and they started walking down the road.

It couldn’t be but so surprising, because they could see the boardwalk from the half-mile mark as they walked up toward it. A large road right beside piers and docks had been lined with shops, stands and various attractions on either side, and there was a huge ferris wheel lit up with sparkling lights.

Badd had insisted on going during the week, so since it was Wednesday there weren't nearly as many people as there probably would have been on the weekend. On top of that, it was also late in the season, so there weren’t visiting tourists to contend with either. “I know ya hate crowds as much as I do,” Badd commented as he took his hand. “And I wanted your first date to be a good experience, ya know.”

Garou was staring in every direction, his mouth just a little bit open. Shit, was it too much? Had Badd overdone it?

What finally came out was: “I want to eat everything.”

Badd laughed. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

When Garou said everything, he wasn’t kidding. Like a bloodhound, Garou made a beeline for the spots that had the best-smelling greasy food scents, and Badd found himself being dragged to stand after stand to buy long skewers of yakitori, shioyaki and ikayaki. Each one was shoved into his face to try. “Please at least keep the squid in a different hand. If I think I’m gonna get chicken and bite into the ikayaki, I’m gonna hurl.”

Garou just took a bite of each. To spite him.

Now, the noodles he could get behind: yakisoba with deliciously tender pieces of pork; hot, sour Thai noodles that warmed him up to the core; a ramen burger made with prime beef and huge pieces of near-solid noodles. Garou was about to lead them to the taiyaki parfait stand, when Badd finally put his hand on his arm.

“Babe. Ya know I think the world of ya, but can we digest for, like, five minutes?”

“I guess.” He smirked and kissed a spot of sauce off the corner of his mouth. “You weakling.”

Next, Badd took him to an arcade. It was set up to look like one of the “classic” ones, with pinball, huge games with old displays that were probably twenty years old, and racing games that made Garou have to fold his long limbs inwards to get to the gas and brake.

When he caught Badd laughing, he glared. “I’m still going to kick your ass, even if I do dislocate my hip.”

“You are older than me, Stretch. That’s a real concern.”

“By a year!”

But they figured it was time to go when Garou laid into a test-your-strength punching dummy a bit too hard and snapped it off its support. In his defense, Badd absolutely should have been watching him closer. Garou had a tendency to get carried away.

As they explored the area even more, they came to a set of shops outside a mall connected to the boardwalk. Garou wandered over to an open stand and stopped so hard his heels screeched. “Oh my god, Badd, look at this.” At first, it just looked like they were selling little trinkets and random junk...until Badd got a closer look. “It’s fucking knock-off hero stuff like you find online!”

Badd nearly choked as he picked up a toy that he could only guess was supposed to be Genos with huge neon eyes and a perfectly rectangular mouth. One hand was on backwards, and the paint job was so abysmal it was like it was just dipped in random colors. A figurine of Atomic Samurai actually had a gun for some reason, Zombieman had been painted lime green, and then…

“You have to buy it.”

“I don’t have to do any such a damn thing.”

“Please. I need this as a memento of our first date.”

Badd sighed and paid the ridiculous amount for a Metal Bat action figure: the torso was so big his head was roughly pea-sized, he was wearing a skirt and his bat looked like it was a wooden one. “It’s literally in the name! Metal Bat! They had one job!”

Garou cackled as he pocketed his prize. “Villains beware! The amazing Wood Bat! Special move: Splinter Spirit!”

As the sky was just beginning to transition from a red-touched blue into night, Badd walked Garou out onto the pier that cut into the ocean far enough that it was actually quiet, compared to the street. A torii gate stood alone overlooking the water and the far-off sunset. Garou stared up at it as Badd explained, “There used to be a shrine on the water, but it got destroyed by a typhoon or somethin.’ They left the torii up ‘cause the sun falls right inside it, yeah? And it was still standin,’ so...yeah.”

“You know a lot about this place.”

Badd grinned, kind of lopsidedly. “Yeah…”

“Like you’ve been here before. More than once.”

“Heh, guess I’ve been caught.”

Easily hopping up onto it, Garou sat on one of the wooden rails of the dock and looked out over the easy-going waves. “That’s fine. There are only but so many places you can take dates, so obviously there’s going to be some overlap.”

“What? Oh god, no. Garou.” Careful not to push him over, Badd got between Garou’s long legs, hands holding his waist. “I ain’t...I’ve never brought another date here. Never. You’re the first.” He sighed. “I came here when I was a kid, with my folks. And Zenko after she was born, for a couple of years but I think she was too young to really remember it. This is, uh…” He cleared his throat. “This is the first time…” God, don’t cry, don’t fucking choke up. “Since…”

“Hey.” Garou’s fingers rubbed the back of his scalp and pulled his face into his stomach. “I got it. It’s okay. I like it. A lot.”

“...yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s the best first date. I thought you were just going to drag me out to something really lame and I was going to have to be like, ‘Nooo, Baaadd, I loooove it…’”

Badd snickered and jabbed Garou in the side of the leg. “Jerk.”

Garou continued on in the mock-patronizing voice as he jumped off the ledge and back to the dock. “‘Oh my gooood...no, you put soooo much effort into it…’”

“Well now if I ever do disappoint ya, I’ll see right through you!”

“Of course you will, because I am so transparent and you are so perceptive.” Garou tugged him toward the ferris wheel. “Come on, I think this is a good time for this one.”

Badd nodded, and when they got to the ramp, there really wasn’t much of a line. They climbed into the next available car together. It was one of the new, fancier ferris wheels, with a compartment that people could sit in facing each other while looking out a window on either side, at the sea or at the glittering city skyline in the near-distance. Slowly, they started the climb, and as Badd watched the crowds below get smaller and smaller, he could feel Garou’s eyes on him.

“So, I’m new to this, but it seems pretty obvious that this is when you’re supposed to kiss on dates, right? That’s a thing isn’t it?”

Badd turned his hand over when cool fingers rubbed his knuckles. “Yeah, I think ya kinda...play it by ear, and when it feels right, ya jus’ go for it.”

Garou leaned close, his smile reflecting the bulbs outside that lined the ride’s spokes. “I think you’re supposed to call the shots though, right?”

“Yeah...I think so.” Badd moved like he was going to close the gap between them, but then put his fingers up to block Garou’s lips. “Wait.”

“...seriously?”

“Trust me.”

It was only about a minute until they rounded the curve and there they were, at the top of the wheel. In the grand scheme of things, it probably wasn’t that high up but...here, it was the highest point, and for them it might as well have been the top of the world. And before Garou could ruin it by saying something dumb or complaining about the hold up, Badd yanked him into the softest, deepest kiss he could give, putting every ounce of himself into it.

They didn’t actually break it until they were almost at the bottom again, and even then they stayed close, gazing into one another’s face.

“You know…” Garou gave him another little peck, smiling through it. “I think I could get into this whole dating thing.”

Badd hummed, and he kept his fingers loosely holding his shirt so he couldn’t get far away from him. “Yeah...kinda figured ya might feel that way.”

#my paperfics #one punch man #batarou #metal bat #badd #garou #so much fluff #fluffy fluff fluff #this was fun to write

68 notes · View notes

aforrestofstuff · 4 years

Note

I'd like to know if you have any cooking skills headcanons!! Like, from who's able to make a absolute meal to who burns microwaved instant noodles.

I’ve done a few individual headcanons about cooking before, but I think it’s time for a refresher. You could call this... the main course.

Okay, enough of that bullshit. Here’s the hcs. Thanks for your ask, anon! ❤️❤️💞

Disclaimer: this shit is crack as fuck because I have very strong feelings about cooking lmfao. FOH don’t interact.

Tornado of Terror: She’d find a way to burn ice cream, honestly. She tries so hard (by god she tries) but her meals always come out as a convoluted mess with ingredients that have no reason being together. She eats her steaks well done and boils hamburgers. It’s a nightmare. She doesn’t really spend too much time in the kitchen, however, because she knows she sucks at cooking and because of this, makes 90% of her diet consist of takeout. But if she did spend more of her day cooking, she’d probably discover the recipe to meth accidentally. It’s that bad.

Silverfang: Stubborn old grandpa way of cooking. He’s got a handful of recipes that have been passed down for generations and he’s gonna carry those fuckers to his grave. When Garou was living at the dojo, the little bastard would try to make some changes to these recipes and Bang had to will every molecule in his arthritis-riddled body to not RKO this kid (not really, Bang wouldn’t hurt a fly). But I digress. He’s a decent cook, knows all the fundamentals and all of that shit.

Atomic Samurai: Can’t cook or bake for shit although he, of course, talks himself up like he can. The extent of his cooking knowledge is only within the realm of “shit you can roast over a campfire when your cheap ass can’t scrape together enough coin to pay the electricity bill”. But now that he’s got that S-Class paycheck and three other disciples to freeload off of, they pretty much cater to his every food-related need. He’s useless in the kitchen. Utterly fucking useless.

Child Emperor: Doesn’t know how to cook (little bastard ain’t even tall enough to reach the stove imo) but luckily he’s got that PHAT BRAIN so he can easily just build a Gordon Ramsey bot 3000 to replace his incompetence in the kitchen. His diet consists of Dino nuggets and microwaveable noodles so it’s not like he’s doing the world a great disservice by not learning how to cook properly.

Metal Knight: Same as Child Emperor except he’s a rich bastard and programs his bots to make that fancy shit with only the finest ingredients. He’s got enough cash from doing black market tech trades and building up his robo-army that this motherfucker could snort caviar for fun. He’s a real pompous asshole about it.

King: His mom taught him to cook a few things, nothing serious. He’s one of those dudes that doesn’t really know how to make much, but the few dishes that he does know how to cook are fucking BOMB. He’s got a cast iron skillet for making pancakes and everything, bitch is already halfway to being a chef himself. Other than that, however, he’s a ramen monster. His blood is practically pre-packaged bone broth.

Zombieman: I’ve said this in a previous hc but he’s a damn good cook. One problem though: he only knows how to make single servings of everything because he eats alone almost all the time. He specializes in meats. Bitch is a carnivore. He bought himself a set of those 500-dollar butcher knives so he can carve up cuts like a monster. He hemorrhages cash into fancy wood chips so he can get that smoky flavor juuuuust right. He’s got an Outdoor Chef setup on his patio. My mans is living the DREAM.

Drive Knight: He can eat but does he really need to? His cooking expertise is popping a new battery in. There you go.

Pig God: Oh my god if this man’s kitchen isn’t Michelin-Star quality. He eats a lot and he cooks a lot, it’s only natural. He’s got an indoor grill and pot chandelier and buys industrial-sized buckets of pickles and roast beef by the cow and— okay he just has a lot of food, alright? And he’s got that PHAT S-Class paycheck so my boy probably has a whole walk-in fridge just to put all the fucking food he eats. Bonus points if he hires a dishboy to work and a contractor to implement a three-sink dish station with “Clean-Rinse-Sanitize” stickers slapped on the steel, lol. But yeah, he cooks for 500 people at a time because he eats enough for 500 people at a time. Gotta maintain that figure, you know what I’m saying?

Superalloy Darkshine: He has. Oh my god— he has a full shelf dedicated to just. DOZENS OF JARS of whey protein. He has two blenders: one for fruit smoothies and one for protein shakes. His kitchen? Spotless. He knows how to cook and he eats like a bodybuilder (because he is one, duh) so he’s got that fridge STOCKED at all times. He cleans like he’s getting paid for it because nothing feels better than wiping down a gas stove until that bitch is spotless. However, his taste is garbage. He can throw down in the kitchen but does it taste good? No. Sometimes the ultra-healthy alternative to something isn’t always the greatest. He’s grown accustomed to putting zucchini in his cakes and almost damn well likes the texture of it, but don’t invite this guy to the potluck because he WILL show up with a vegetable nightmare that’s sure to make even vegans gag. Sorry bud, but nobody likes soy bacon.

Watchdog Man: furry ass.

Flashy Flash: I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but he’s pescatarian. He grew up on a coastal town before being sold of to the ninja village like a goddamned carpet and now fish is the only meat he eats. His cooking ability is about as good as one would expect from a homesless ninja. Like Atomic Samurai, he can throw it down over the campfire and still find a way to make a decent dish (in both presentation and taste) despite having limited knowledge and resources to work with. Bitch can whip up a five-star meal with some branches, a fish, and half a carrot like it was second nature. That’s about it though. He’s useless in an actual kitchen.

Genos: It’s canon. He’s a housewife. He only knows how to make the select few dishes that play an integral part in Saitama’s diet, though (because Genos can eat but he doesn’t really need to, so he only does it when he and Saitama are sharing a meal). Those dishes include things like: actual garbage. He cooks shit food. It’s not his fault. Saitama just eats like a fucking twat. There’s rats that live in the dumpster outside the restaurant I work in that have a better diet than him. Genos just works with what the poor bastard’s got and has gained a pretty mediocre grasp on cooking because of it. If he wanted to, though, he could easily be the best chef in all the land. Too bad he’s more focused on being an ultra-powerful speed demon.

Metal Bat: Tries his absolute best to cook healthy meals for him and Zenko when he almost always resorts to just popping a frozen pizza in the oven and calling it a day. I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but he eats his shit BURNT. Bitch like his steak well done, his yolks grey, and his chicken vaporized. The only exception to this is sushi because there really is no other way to enjoy it other than having it raw. Trust me, though. If there was a way to burn the fuck out of sashimi while still having it be sashimi, he’d find a way to do it and like it. But yeah, as I said: he sucks ass at cooking. He’s tried the tutorials, he’s bought the skillets, he’s sharpened the knives, but he just can’t fucking do it.

Tanktop Master: Same as Superalloy. They bond over gross-ass ultra-healthy recipes that only they enjoy. The Tanktop Gang loves him but they always kindly refuse to eat over at his house because they know he’s gonna try to make them ingest a broccoli loaf or some shit. He’s not too strict about his diet, though. He’ll chill out and have a pizza every once and a while, but only when he’s hanging out with the homies.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: He has a job in prison where he helps out in the kitchen for seventy-five cents an hour, but that’s about the extent of it. He’s got the bare basics down and could put together a decent meal for date night if he really tried (and had a damn kitchen to work with). On top of that, he can throw down some tasty prison food recipes, hand-crafted from the brick box itself. Ramen pad Thai, anyone?

Amai Mask: he’s rich as fuck, why does he need to cook? Bitch hired a chef and now all he does it drink skim milk and eat food from the top shelf. He couldn’t fry an egg if his life depended on it. Poor bastard doesn’t even know what a whisk is. And don’t even get me started on how much of a slob he is. The ten-minute process of making a single plate of spaghetti will have his kitchen in such a disgusting state that it’ll take him and a trusty Mister Clean Magic Eraser five hours just to clean it up. That is, if he even has the basic human decency to pick up after himself. He’ll probably just hire someone to do for him and then tip them a crisp 100-dollar bill for their troubles, only to make an even worse mess tomorrow.

Iaian: I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but yes: he can cook. It’s nothing special. He’s got a suburban dad sense of cooking where he, like King, can only make a select few dishes but makes those dishes taste magical. He’s got 0 utensils and shit kitchen to work with (because Kami’s place is probably like, centuries old on account of him still being a Samurai), but boy can Iaian whip up a feast like no other despite all that. It’s all protein-packed flavor bombs that look simple in comparison to, say, Zombieman or Metal Knight’s food, but it still tastes good all the same. Kama eats off of his plate all the time and it used to annoy him but they’ve grown so close that they might as well share forks at this point.

Okamaitachi: Can’t really cook, but they are a baking god. I don’t know much about baking but I know they’ve got a cupboard dedicated to their plethora of sourdough starters. They buy yeast by the pound and make enough bread to feed entire armies some days. Whatever the gang doesn’t eat, they donate it to the local homeless shelter and make it a habit to go out of their way performing good deeds that don’t always involve sword fighting (something Kami insists he instilled into them via his teachings— which is bullshit. Kama is just naturally good-hearted and sweet).

Bushidrill: Can’t cook or bake for shit but like Atomic Samurai and Flash, can throw it down on the campfire. Don’t let this man near any turkeys or pigs because he will spitroast the fuck out of them.

Fubuki: Okay, not only is she a great cook but she’s as dogmatic as a coked-out head chef. She and the Blizzard Group sometimes cook together in her massive kitchen (she poured all of her measly paycheck into it because by god, if her apartment doesn’t have a kitchen fit for a chef then it’s not worth living in), and she’ll be barking orders like a damn crow. She’s got the two-grand knife set, cast-iron everything, bronze accents on the sink, and the ability to deglaze a pan without starting a fire. She’s a natural. If she cooks for you, then that’s how you know she likes you. All in all, her food tastes and looks great. She’s a bit low on funds on account of being only Class-B, so she sometimes takes little shortcuts when plating her dishes, like using celery leaves in place of parsley and all that jazz.

Saitama: I’ve already said that his diet is absolute shit and part of that is due to being poor, but I will show mercy and say that he’s a decent cook. He only makes what he knows he’s gonna like and doesn’t leave any room for experimentation unless his budget allows it (which isn’t often). His kitchen only has the bare essentials. Genos has offered to buy him more equipment and even renovate the damn thing for him but Saitama refuses each time because then he’d have a bigass kitchen just for making a poor man’s omurice, and that would be a waste. His talent, though? Making a perfect omelet. He can fold the egg like a sheet with no tears and no brown spots. It tastes heavenly.

Mumen Rider: Ultra-safe in the kitchen. He doesn’t even own a knife sharpener because he’s clumsy enough to know he’ll cut himself the moment he even tries to use it. His pot handles all have coverings and he’s watched all of the food safety and fire safety videos out there. He could give a goddamned seminar on it. Food-wise, he’s a decent home cook. Nothing special. He does, however, share Superalloy and Tanktop’s nasty habit of over healthy-ing everything to oblivion and making it a tasteless, vegetative mess. It doesn’t matter if you invite him to the potluck or not because he’ll bring a cauliflower pizza anyway and y’all better fucking enjoy it or he’ll start crying.

Sonic: The same as Flashy Flash, minus the pescatarianism. He’d butcher a pig without blinking an eye, and often uses his katana in cooking (even though it poses like, 87 different safety hazards and is most definitely health violation). He can forage quite well and has taken a liking to wild mushrooms and berries over the years. It’s gotten so natural to him that he now knows by heart the specific time of year in which the wild berries are ripest, and which species of salmon inhabit certain streams on any given day.

Garou: Would burn water. End of story. His cooking is so bad and dangerous that everyone thinks he’s an arsonist when he really just starts fires on accident. Don’t let this fucker near a stove, for the love of god.

81 notes · View notes

prorevenge · 5 years

Text

Try Picking a Fight at my Club? Enjoy Loosing All Your Students and Dojo

TLDR at the bottom.

A few years back a known local fraud we'll call Big Wiener (BW), from the local martial art community is a teachers assistant by day, and a vicious samurai warrior by night, in his head at least... He's gone to many legitimate schools long enough to earn a rank, yellow belt, first stripe, yellow sash, whatever. He's tried many legitimate arts, and I wouldn't take that from him, but he exaggerates what he's done to the extreme. This is all until one day he's a 10th degree black belt of McDojo U! A McDojo is what we call a fraudulent school with no basis on any practicality in anything. Obviously the martial art community rolls our eyes and basically tell him, you can't do that, so what does he do:

"Well Bruce Lee did it!" The classic line any fraud says...

Whatever, he's a bum, he'll never get any students and he doesn't make enough to get a place to start a school. He'll crash and burn, who cares. Unfortunately BW convinced the school board to let him do an afterschool martial arts program. Who are his students? Every emotionally vulnerable kid from highschool with low self esteem with a wish to prove themselves to everyone. Soon they get their 30 year old friends to join in! Suddenly he has an omnipresence with his students. His students from the AV club made a religious-like documentary about him for class. It was up on youtube for a while, but unfortunately I can't find it now.

Most students stuck around for a month or two and left, most complained to the school about it because "O-Sensei" BW obviously doesn't know what he's doing. 30% of his students however would have honestly given their life for him, loyal without measure. Soon enough the school board complies the complaints and tells him to get lost. So of course he starts operating a for profit school in a baseball diamond when games aren't being played. His fees were another thing, you pay a monthly dues of $80 to the BW school and an annual dues of $200 to the BW International Federation which is just him scamming inner city high school students for more money! Days when he's rained out, BW and crew sometimes makes unannounced drop ins to other schools around, any school that offers free demo classes that is.

My dojo, a multi-diciplined school that specializes in Jujitsu and Kickboxing, but we've got certified Teakwondo, Jeet Kune Do, Judo, wrestling, Yoga instructors and more. We strongly encourage our students to cross train all disciplines. Admittedly there are better fighters and competitors in town, but I think it's safe to say we're the nicest school around, and those who do compete do well, but that's not our focus. Honestly, that's what we're known for and that's the way we want to keep it.

BW and his loyal enforcers show up at our school on a typical Tuesday, Jujtisu, kickboxing, judo and grappling. They choose to do all the classes. Jujtisu is focusing on self defense tonight. BW was admittedly respectful and watched and took in what we were showing. His cronies however snickered and laughed under their breath, and always had an extreme hypothetical "what if they do this..." situation for every single thing we do. No joke, we were doing a BASIC defense from a wide punch, the student asks "What if they do a scorpion kick to follow up?" Anyway we showed them some stuff, they scoffed at it, no biggie, it's self defense stuff, it can be theoretical some times.

Next up kickboxing, focusing on Thai drills. BW is overweight and it's a hard class, you get a good work out. He's pooped and of course it comes time to spar, the announcements made: "Of you're new go with some one experienced and GO EASY!" BW partners up with our beefiest instructor (Beefy), he's slow but can pack a punch. With no energy BW tries his best to show his students what he's made of and goes full force on Beefy

"Whoa, slow down, don't hit hard, I'm going easy, it's all about respect, I'm working tomorrow, we're not going hard"

BW doesn't heed the warning and goes all in again, Beef slides and dances around him.

"I'm not telling you again, I will knock you down if you keep going hard"

BW puts all the power he has behind one final superman punch. Beefy bobs and weaves and pushes him to the ground, no punch necessary.

The room stops and EVERYONE stares at BW, his honour has just been tarnished in front of all these people... BW biggest Enforcer Dude (ED) walks over to Beefy verbally glove slaps him and challenges him to a duel.

At this point Beefy tells him:

1 - We don't do that here.

2 - You've been disrespectful to us all night.

3 - Cool your ass down unless you want to get kicked out of here!

Tensions are high but they clear soon enough. Judo and gi-grappling starts, everyone's calm. Despite being throwing masters of a 'Japanese martial art' BW and Co can't fathom the most basic throws, o-goshi, seonagi, osoto gari (white belt judo throws). By now a few of BW enforcers are coming around and learning that maybe BW isn't all he's cracked up to be, he's outskileld by our orange belts.

So now it's grappling, the class is rolling around, BW is done, he can't do this anymore, he grabs a seat and watches. ED however wants vengeance, but first he works the room. He's going to show off and tries to partner up with the scrony 16 year old. I give my 16 year old freind the thumbs up and go for it, but decide to 'ref' the match. 45 seconds in, ED taps. Next match, 30 seconds, taps... ED is pissed, and BW has seen the whole thing, what a disgrace! That's it it's now or never. He rolls up his sleeve and reveals a BW Martial Arts McDojo TATTOO! He's been branded!!

"Listen Beefy! I want to roll with you, I'm a former military and I'll make you tap hard"

Beefy is unimpressed, tired, and just doesn't want these guys to come back.

"Ok, lets roll..."

Match starts, BAM! What happened? ED is tapping he doesn't even know how he got there or even remember how this technique was applied. They go again, BAM! He does the same thing. BAM! Happens again! ED gets up and leaves. He doesn't wait or acknowledge BW or anyone else. Most of BW students leave but one oh his guys, Mouth Off Boy, gives us a hard time

"Why'd you have to disrespect a grand master like that?! You guys are garbage, fuck this school, no respect!"

"Ok, leave now or we're calling the cops"

Not long after that, BW lost most of his loyal students, save for Mouth Off Boy whom would eventually branch off and start BW Sidekick's School of Killology For Cool People McDojo in Ottawa. It didn't last when he couldn't keep students and soon moved back home.

BW moved his school into his mom's garage and started to focus on teaching younger kids, but never keeps anyone for more than a few months. His school comes and goes, it's been down for a few years and has recently he tried to resurrect his club but it didn't work out. BW doesn't go to other clubs any more.

The good news in all this, ED became a regular at our club and good friends with Beefy. Initially he came back to challenge him and eventually was won over by his kindness and high skill level. The two hated each other but in a few months would go to lunch and the movies on days off or double dates with their wives. Turned out he was ex-military, think like Bill from King of the Hill, and last I heard he removed the tattoo.

TLDR: McDojo Master comes to our club with his top students, they make an ass of themselves and learn their masters a fraud, McDojo shuts down not long after.

(source) story by (/u/linkhandford)

#prorevenge #by /u/linkhandford #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

299 notes · View notes

pellicano-sanguino · 5 years

Text

Now that Kurenai Yuzuru's taidan is drawing closer, I wanted to write something short about some of the roles she's done that I have fond memories of.

These are mostly from Reon's era, since most of my Hoshigumi shows are from that time. I need to see more shows from Kurenai's own top star run.

Mercutio from Romeo&Juliette 2010

This was the first zuka show I saw, and still my favourite show to this day. I could go into all the details about how I love this musical, but now I'm just going to mention the casting. It was perfect. Everyone got a role that fit their acting style perfectly. Kurenai was a natural Mercutio, the best one I've ever seen. She nailed Merkku's immaturity, playfulness and – most importantly in my opinion – his recklessness.

Memorable scenes are Mercutio's song number when he tempts his Montague buddies to go with him to crash the Capulet's party, him and the boys bullying Nurse, confronting Romeo after hearing the news about his wedding (I was quite shocked to see Mercutio threaten Romeo with honor violence, claiming he's going to slit his throat if he won't give up Juliette) and the fight scene followed by Mercutio's death including a final song of ”goodbye friends and PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!”

I admit, I don't usually care for it when zuka gives a dying character one final song that they sing in weak, slow voice, milking the tragedy for all the drama its worth. It often fails to be sad and just feels cheesy and soap operaish. But I found the song of dying Mercutio very touching, when I saw the scene for the first time I cried real tears. Despite the language barrier, Kurenai managed to reach to me with her voice and her acting and make me shed tears for Mercutio's death.

Sid from Officer and Gentleman

Officer and Gentleman isn't the kind of movie I'd thought would get a zuka adaptation and yet it exists. Zuka is very clearly targeted for women and this movie is more for the male audience. I know it has a romance and is therefore regarded as a love story but in my opinion this flick is more like a coming-of-age story about the character growth the male lead goes through (also, it oozes toxic masculinity, a thing more common in films for men). Anyway, the zuka version is actually a pretty good show. Ouki Kaname totally steals every scene she's in. But today I'm here to talk about Kurenai.

Kurenai is probably best known for her talent in comedy. Sometimes I've heard people say that's the only kind of shows she should do and that always made me sad, because Kurenai isn't a one trick pony trapped to do only one character type. I have been very impressed at her talent in playing sensitive men. Many otokoyaku roles rely on strong and cool male image, but Kurenai sometimes gets roles that let her show emotions, the men she plays are allowed to be vulnerable. Sid is one of these. Sid is young and a bit naive and makes stupid decisions, but when he thinks he's done a mistake, he is ready to take responsibility of it. The scene where he goes to propose Lynette breaks my heart every time. That look on his face when he finds out he's been lied to, it just hits me right in the feels. There is something so naturally charming and lovable in Kurenai that seeing her characters get hurt makes me feel awful. Like, no, don't do this to her!

Karenin from Anna Karenina

I have not read this book, but its one of my mother's favourites, so we watched this show together and she pointed me all the things that she thought zuka had adapted well and the parts that they had changed. She was especially impressed with Kurenai's Karenin. According to my mother, the character of Karenin is often done quite poorly in other adaptations of the book, he is often portrayed as just a onesided, simple man who's a little dumb and doesn't have much depth of character. Much like Sid, Kurenai's Karenin is allowed to show his emotions and not be just a boring, stoic figure who reacts to his wife's affair with mild disinterest. There is kindness in Karenin, it's not always easy to see, but it's there. He lost his own parents and a brother that was dear to him, and because he remembers how horrible it is to be alone and lose your family, he adopts Anna's and Vronsky's child, not wanting her to be left alone.

Antonio from Tale of Coimbra

I have opinions concerning this show. Namely, I think it misses a golden opportunity to put the zuka trope of reunion of lovers in the afterlife to proper use. Big part of the Coimbra legend are the coffins of Pedro and Inez being placed so that when they rise in Doomsday, the first thing they see is each others' faces. And zuka just had to go and twist the story so that Inez doesn't die (and they don't even get a happy ending despite that! Poor Pedro, he just can't win.). Also, very, very disappointed at the lack of Corpse Queen and tearing out assassin-Makaze's heart with a line ”You broke my heart, therefore you have none!”

Ahem. Sorry about the rant. Anyway, Kurenai is in this musical. He plays a guy named Antonio, who is... umm... I think a pirate or a robber or something along those lines. The group of robbers/pirates gets made into scapegoats for Inez's murder, and Pedro, Pimenta, assassin-Makaze and some soldiers mercilessly slaughter them all. Kurenai's role gets very little stage time, but I wanted to mention this role, because I was very impressed with her stage swordplay skills. I don't know if I should credit the director for this, or if Kurenai did some research of her own, but her legwork is strong and sometimes I can even identify the poses she makes as part of real swordplay moves.

Warrior seeking to fight with Reon, from Takarazuka Floral Dance Scrolls

This is my favourite nihonmono revue. The music, the dancing and the costumes are all great. In one of the numbers Kurenai plays a warrior who doesn't get along with another warrior, played by Reon. I don't know what their beef is about, Kurenai just hates Reon's guts and sends ninjas to ambush him when he's spending time flirting with local ladies. Reon being Reon, he defeats all the ninjas and makes a daring escape with courtesan-Nene. They are heading towards a river, intending to ride a boat to safety, but by the riverside Kurenai confronts them. Holding his sword he opens his arms like inviting Reon for a hug. Come at me bro! And so they fight, doing the samurai slash thing where time freezes after they've struck at each other and then the one who lost slowly falls. The one who falls is Kurenai, and Reon and Nene proceed to their romantic boatride.

This number has left an impression on me, because I think the nihonmono look suits Kurenai really well. She made a very handsome and cool-looking warrior.

Shibata Rihito from Mei-chan's Butler

Takarazuka and shoujo manga have walked hand in hand since the days of BeruBara Boom and even before, inspiring each other. Every now and then zuka does a show based on a manga. This one, unfortunately, is based on a manga I have never read and therefore I had no idea what was going on during most of this musical. But I still found it rather entertaining (the prop work sure was something different, with weird video projections, shadow theater and parachuting puppets). I admit, the many colourful side characters steal the show from Kurenai quite often, being wilder and weirder than her character is. I will have to give special mention to Makaze's evil butler, I love it when Makaze plays villains. But at the end, this is Kurenai's show. She was a very dashing butler.

Memorable scenes include a weird, artsy, dream-like interpretive dance scene where the shadow theater is put to good use for * symbolism *.

Because I haven't read the manga, I have no idea what is going on here. My bet is on drugs.

Also among the memorable scenes is the fencing. I still think Kurenai is pretty good with a sword.

I need to come up with name for this trope, where the opponents lock their swords for a while to glare at each other and chat.

Bourguignon from Second Fortuitous Meeting

Many zuka comedies are wasted on me because so many of the jokes are language based and I still don't understand much Japanese. But this one I liked very much. Admittedly, I got to read a translation once, so this time I got the jokes, but even ignoring the spoken jokes, it's just a really fun show. Every character was fantastic, Kurenai's role as a manservant forced to fake being his own master included. Her talent in comedy is very strong, she masters small things like the tone of her voice, the expressions of her face and simple bodylanguage and makes her character absolutely hilarious. I have noticed that one character pair zuka shows tend to have is pairing a cool and serious master with a sassy, loud, no-filter-between-brains-and-mouth servant, who works as a comedic relief softening the seriousness of their master. In a show like Second Fortuitous Meeting, where everyone is sassy, loud and has no filter between brains and mouth, Kurenai needs to tone her comedy up quite a bit so that Bourguignon will appear even funnier than his master.

Most memorable scene is Bourguignon sitting down in protest like a misbehaving infant when Dorante demands they leave.

This show got a sequel. It was just as fun as the first one, even though this time I had no translation and so had very little clue what was going on. Something involving a pumpkin thief.

Beniko and Reon's father from REON!!

Otokoyaku in drag for comedy reasons is quite a common thing in zuka, and usually I find it as amusing as real men in drag (in other words, not very). But I adore Beniko. The reason why her comedy works is that the joke isn't just putting otokoyaku in drag, Beniko is a carefully designed sketch character. Her costume, her curls that she constantly keeps shoving back over her shoulders, the way she speaks (this has to be some sort of dialect, I swear), she is just incredibly funny. I don't think I can properly explain why I find her so amusing, after all I don't even understand what she says. There's just something about Beniko that always makes me smile.

There was also a number where Reon sang about her family. Makaze and Kurenai played her parents. Makaze made a very charming Japanese beauty in her apron (I usually don't like it when they make her wear dresses, but here she looked so natural it suited her well). She had to bend her knees a little to appear shorter than Kurenai. Kurenai as Reon's father was weird looking, with thick eyebrows that made him look like a comic character. But he was a very sweet father, eagerly making faces and shaking a rattle at baby Reon, and smiling even when the fighting kids accidentally poured a tea kettle on him. I've always felt that Makaze and Kurenai had great chemistry together and seeing them play a married couple was adorable.

Gemini from Etoile de Takarazuka

Again, putting otokoyaku in drag isn't fun if you don't give her character. Well, in this revue Kurenai had to put her skills to the test by switching between two characters several times during the same number. The split-personality Gemini suffered from manic-depressive behavious.

The female side was happy and giddy and optimistic (”Everybody loves me, I'm so pretty, and so witty, I'm so gay!”)

...and the male half was gloomy and depressed and had no self-esteem (”Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms...”).

I have to respect her for managing these quick switches between otokoyaku and onnayaku, cheerful and gloomy, the changing between characters was done smoothly.

Also, I want that dress... suit... costume... thing... I want that dresssuitcostumething. I would wear it to every dance ball ever.

Frederic de Marmont from Napoleon

This show had a ton of characters, many of them quite colourful ones, and unfortunately Marmont was often left as only the observer of things happening around him (well, the story is being told by him, so it kinda fits). Nevertheless I think Kurenai was very handsome in the uniform, and I think Marmont got some important scenes. He knew Napoleon from the military school and there's a song number where he voices concern for his friend's endless thirst for more victories. In the end, he is the one who decides to surrender Paris, understanding that it's madness to keep fighting and lose more lives when losing the battle can no longer be avoided.

The part I remember Kurenai most in this show is actually from the minirevue. She dances a rather romantic dance with Makaze. I will say it again, these two had great chemistry together.

Philippe from Sun King

I know there are probably only like a handful of fans who like this show besides me, but I loved it. I've always been a sucker for French imported musicals in zuka. This show is another example of good casting, everyone gets a character that no one else would have done as well as they have. Kurenai, being the best there is at comedy, gets the comedic relief character Philippe the gay-tailed pheasant, who also shows to the audience how the royals and nobles lived in a fantasy bubble completely separated from real life. She gets three songs and she sings them well. I haven't mentioned it before now, but I really like Kurenai's voice. It's a very recognisable, charming, unique voice. I also have to show respect at how easily and naturally she wears the gaudiest costumes. This show has some really ridiculous costume designs for the nobles to show how separate they are from common folks, but Kurenai wears hers with pride. I can almost picture her looking at a costume desing and being like ”Wow that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen, when can I try it on?”

Percy Blakeney from Scarlet Pimpernel

When Reon and Nene graduated, my star also left Hoshigumi and I followed her to a new home troupe, so I haven't seen that many Hoshigumi shows after Reon's era. But when I saw that they were going to make Scarlett Pimpernel, I had to get it. I had seen Kurenai perform Percy as a shinko role and I thought she was brilliant even then.

Of course I was going to use screenshots of the fencing scene. What else did you expect?

Once when I was sick and couldn't even read books, just rest, I borrowed some audio books from the library. This is how I was introduced to Scarlet Pimpernel. I liked the audio book a lot, especially the menacing, raspy voice they gave to Chauvelin. I was delighted to discover one of the first stories to use the idea of a masked hero. Men who like Batman are not allowed to make fun of me for liking Scarlet Pimpernel.

Scarlet Pimpernel is such an entertaining story and Percy is such a charming hero, saving innocents and having fun while doing it. I like Kiriya Hiromu's Percy a lot too, but Kurenai's is my favourite. She really gets into the character and makes a very lovely Percy. Having to wear disguises in this show, she once again shows her ability to fit into all deliciously awful outfits (like the suits they wear to the party held by the prince of Wales). But even out of disguises, I've got to admit Percy's got style. I also obviously adored the sword dance in the mini revue. Kurenai's Percy brings a smile to my face whenever he's on screen. This is probably the role I will remember her most from.

I will miss Kurenai terribly. Whatever she decides to do after leaving Takarazuka, I wish her good luck and happiness as thanks for all the times she brought me lauhter, tears and joy.

#takarazuka #hoshigumi #kurenai yuzuru

14 notes · View notes