#TOOK ME 20 MINS TO WORK MYSELF UP TO ASK FOR IT OFF AND ALL 😭 stupid bitch oh my days

[hella1975]

pulled a sickie 😎 <- shaking like a wet dog

#one of these days I really am gonna have to admit that I’m fundamentally a people pleaser #who feels physically sick if I think someone’s mad at me. like girl your manager is not gonna hunt you down with a gun for this #relax. chill even #‘if you’re ill you’re ill’ I KNEW HE WOULDNT BE MAD FUCK SAKE #TOOK ME 20 MINS TO WORK MYSELF UP TO ASK FOR IT OFF AND ALL 😭 stupid bitch oh my days #me: I have manipulated every situation I’m in to ensure everyone loves me and is never mad at me #me when no one is mad at me: what the fuck. start yelling NOW I refuse to have stressed over nothing #hella goes home

[writingforstraykids]

Addicted to you Chp.21

Pairing: Minchan (mention of OT8)

Word Count: 4613

Summary: Chan and Minho organize a long break for the whole group, knowing they all need one after these troubling times. Five months later, Chan gets a taste of Minho in his best form, and he couldn't be more proud.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, smut, min is insecure about his weight gain, small misunderstanding, the boys are in love

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

A/N: Thank you to everyone who made it this far and enjoyed the story. Thank you for the lovely requests and comments, they made the whole process so much more fun. My first Stray Kids project is officially "done". As always, I am open to writing more as long as you have concrete wishes and ideas. I've enjoyed writing this series a lot, delving a little more into the aspects of their hidden relationship, the insecurities and challenges that come with that, and so on. So please, if you'd like more, maybe also about the other pairings in this specific setting, don't hesitate to let me know - Nat🖤

Setting fire to my already tamed feelings Don't make me bad, bad Addicted to you Once we've started, you must be mine Addicted to you - Lee Know, Felix & Hyunjin

“I need a break,” Chan announced to the room. Everyone stared at him, surprised but curious about the sudden confession. Everyone just finished lunch and gathered in the living room to relax. 

“Uh, thanks for the warning?” Felix chuckled.

“We all do,” Chan continued on. The boys began to share confused expressions. “We’ve been working our asses off ever since Minho came back. None of us has had time to rest.”

“That’s true,” Changbin nodded.

“I talked to our management and got us all a month off,” he said and smiled as they all looked at him with a mixture of shock and excitement. “I want you all to go home for a while. Check in with your families, spend some time with them. I’ll be leaving a few days earlier than you all. I promised my mum to stay with them for a while after they found out most of what happened through our recent interviews. If you’d like, we could still go on vacation together during the last week. Maybe you all could come to Australia again.”

“That was quite fun,” Jeongin nodded excitedly. 

“And they approved all of us leaving for a month?” Jisung asked, stunned.

“It took some work,” Minho admitted. “But we’ve told them that the past few months have been too much not only for Chan and myself. I, more or less, let them know that they’d have to deal with more public breakdowns if we wouldn’t get a break soon,” he laughed. 

“Which was quite convincing, apparently,” Chan giggled. “So vacation starts in two days. Felix, you’ll still have to attend that fashion event in four days, but then you’re free to leave.”

“Sounds good to me,” Felix smiled excitedly. He couldn’t wait to go back home for a while. “My parents would love to see you guys again.”

“My mother hasn’t been talking about anything else since I suggested it,” Chan snorted.

“As long as she makes us that amazing dinner from last time again,” Hyunjin grinned.

“I bet she will,” Seungmin laughed.

"Australia it is then," Minho nodded, chuckling at his friends. As everyone continued the conversation, his heart warmed seeing the people he loved most…happy. 

-

Chan had been gone for a week now. Everyone else, besides Felix and Minho, left for home two days ago. Minho decided to stay with Felix before he flew to Australia so he didn’t have to stay at the house all by himself. 

“How’s Chan?” Felix asked one evening as they sat together on the sofa. 

“He’s having a bit of a hard time, I think,” Minho told him. “His parents are still really worried. His sister was pretty pissed he didn’t tell her how he was feeling instead of having to find out through the interviews.”

“She’ll calm down in a few days,” Felix chuckled. 

“That’s what I told him,” he nodded, but a slight unease still lay in his tone. 

“But?” Felix asked, picking up on it.

“You know Chan, he always gets a little depressed without us there,” he shrugged and leaned back. “He keeps telling me how much he misses me. He never did that before either. It’s not like we haven’t been apart for this long before,” he giggled softly.

“You never meant this much to him before,” he reminded him kindly. 

“Fair point,” Minho sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I have an idea,” he told him excitedly. “You’ve just visited home, and you always visit your parents after therapy. I bet they wouldn’t mind if you’d come with me instead.”

“To Australia? So early?” he asked, opening his eyes to give Felix a confused look. 

“Yeah. I always book two seats to have some peace during the flight so I can take you with me easily,” he told him. “We could surprise Chan with you just showing up at the front door.”

Minho giggled softly. “That would actually be fun.”

“Come on, call your mum. I’m sure she’d agree,” he laughed.

Minho quickly grabbed his phone, calling his mother. “Hi, mum,” he said cheerfully. “I have a question,” he got straight to the point, putting her on speaker. But there was no response, to Minho’s disbelief. “Mum?” he called out with a small whine, a cute pout beginning to rest on his lips.

“You’ll be leaving for Australia early?” she asked, laughing as Minho gasped.

“How the hell did you guess that?” he asked, stunned. Felix started laughing at him in the background.

“Oh please! You were talking about your boyfriend nonstop when you came over last week. Also, you’ve been visiting here so often now that I knew you wouldn’t feel bad not coming to stay with us for a few weeks,” she laughed. “I bet he really misses you, Min.”

“He does,” Minho nodded.

“You should go,” she told him kindly. “Felix?” she asked, quickly identifying him by his cheerful laugh. 

“Yes?” he asked politely. 

“Take care of him on that flight, yeah?” she asked. 

“Of course I will,” he promised. “I’ll bring him back to you safely.” Minho’s mom gave her goodbyes and ended the call. 

Minho smiled widely and pulled Felix into a warm, gentle hug. “Thank you, Felix.”

Felix nodded and hugged Minho, squeezing him tightly. “Of course, Minho.”

-

Chan was still lying in bed, scrolling through his phone and trying to stay awake. He tossed and turned all night, and the lack of sleep was trying to lure him back into a deep slumber. He yawned softly and stretched his tired body. He began smiling as he heard the small patter of his dog coming down the hallway and into his room, hopping on the bed. “Hi Berry,” he said softly.

“Chris?” his mother called out for him from downstairs.

“Yes mom?” he shouted back, not really feeling like moving. 

“Someone’s here to see you,” she said. “Can you come down here for a moment?”

He groaned softly. If his mother asked in that tone, he was sure it was a friend of theirs wanting to see how their idol son was doing, maybe even collecting a few autographs on the way. “Fine,” he groaned, quickly pulling a sweater over his head to cover his naked chest. He walked down the stairs, not noticing the person standing next to his sister with a grumble to himself. “I swear if this is another - Minho?!” he asked, his jaw dropping as he finally looked up at the visitor in question. 

“Surprise?” he asked gently. Before he knew it, Chan was in his arms, lifting and spinning him around. “Channie, nooo” he giggled, wrapping his legs around his waist. “I just stepped off the plane, go easy on me!”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I could’ve picked you up from the airport,” he pouted, a whine can be heard through his tone. 

“Hannah did,” Minho said gently. Chan looked at her surprised, not believing she was in on the surprise. “Felix had an extra seat, and we decided to surprise you.”

“When do you leave?” he asked.

“Whenever you leave,” he told him. Chan’s smile widened. Minho laughed as he put him back down on the ground and hugged him tightly. 

“And where will you be staying?” he asked, still not fully grasping that he was actually there.

“Here, you dumbass,” Hannah told him, rolling her eyes at him.

“Your mum said it would be alright,” Minho said gently.

“Of course it is!” she assured him with a bright smile. “You’re always welcome here, Minho.”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her. Chan couldn’t help himself anymore and kissed him passionately, pulling him in close. Minho grunted softly, but returned the kiss happily. He pulled back and stared at him, a bit dazed. “I suppose you told them about us?” 

“Obviously,” Chan laughed.

“I told him fighting to get you back to the group was the one thing he did right the past few weeks,” Hannah said teasingly. 

Minho giggled softly and pulled her into a hug. “I missed you too, little sister,” he said fondly. “But don’t be too hard on him, alright? I wasn’t exactly easy to be around either.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes, but they knew she meant well. Minho was always fond of Hannah since the day they met. 

Minho smiled at Chan and reached out for him, grabbing his hand. “I think I need a nap.”

“That’s the jetlag,” he chuckled. “I had another shitty night myself, let’s go.” Minho followed him upstairs to his room, giggling as Chan threw the door closed and kissed him needily. “Fuck, I missed you, baby.”

“I missed you too, love,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around his neck. “So, so much.” Chan buried his face in his shoulder, hugging him even tighter. “Are you okay?” his voice laced with care and warmth, fondling his hair. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, hot tears burning in his eyes. 

“Channie?” he asked gently, pulling back a little and lifting his face. “Oh, angel,” he whispered.

“I really fucking missed you, that’s all,” he assured him.

“You’re so cute,” he told him, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m here now. I won’t stop getting on your nerves for a whole month,” he smirked. “There’s no staff to stop us either. And the others get here in three weeks.”

“Sounds perfect,” he smiled and brushed their noses together. “Just you and me.”

“Mhm, just you and me, Channie,” he smiled softly, cupping his face and kissing him gently. The two almost got lost in their embrace, until Minho pulled back to speak. “Uh, before I forget, my therapist asked if you’d like to join the next session?”

Chan frowned softly at the request. “Why?”

“She thinks it’ll be easier to work through certain things that happened with you there. Like collapsing on stage and getting to the hospital after. I don't have many memories of that night,” he shrugged. 

“Alright, sure thing,” he nodded. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

Five months later

Minho looked at himself in the mirror, carefully fixing his hair. He was wearing a perfectly fitted dark suit that hugged him in all the right places, the vest painted with blue stripes. A delicate necklace rested on his skin, and a ring on each hand completed the look. The one on his right ring finger being a present from his boyfriend. The color definitely complimented his dark hair. He crouched down a little, testing his trousers, which were a little tight. 

"Minho hyung, what are you doing?" Felix laughed at him, leaning against the vanity not too far from him. He was walking around looking for his friend, just to make sure he was doing okay. 

Minho met his eyes through the mirror and started to laugh as well. "I'm scared I'll rip them. They're not the best fit for this dance." 

Hyunjin looked up from his phone, sitting comfortably on a nearby couch. "I bet Chan wouldn't agree with you on that." 

Felix grinned and made his way over, taking a closer look. "I think you look stunning. Time to tease your boyfriend." 

Minho chuckled at them and playfully rolled his eyes. "Don't think Changbin won't drool over you either," he winked at him, making the younger one blush. "Oh wait, we have another style expert right here. Doesn't our sunshine look handsome, Hyunjin?" he asked the younger male and turned Felix in his direction. 

Hyunjin smirked and put his phone aside. "What do you think made him blush so hard a minute ago?" 

"Oh, I see," Minho chuckled. Hyunjin got up and made his way over, gently grabbing Felix's chin and looking deep into his eyes. The shiteating grin on his face not leaving for a second as his gaze devoured Felix. Minho sensed it and took note. "That's my que to leave. Remember, we have to be on stage in ten minutes. I don't want either one of you to go out there hard."

Felix quickly grabbed Minho's hand and held him back. "If you leave, he won't stop being a tease. I’ll definitely be in trouble then." Felix pleaded with the cutest pout on his lips.

Minho giggled softly and stayed where he was, taking out his phone. With a chuckle, Hyunjin decided to have mercy on Felix and gave him a sweet, loving kiss. Meanwhile, Minho saw a few messages from Chan pop up and smiled stupidly, reading them. 

I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re gonna be amazing out there. Good luck!

Minho texted a few hearts back and chuckled as Chan asked for a picture. He told him he had to see his reaction live, which made Chan send a bunch of emojis. "Alright, let's go," he said, putting his phone aside. 

The three of them made their way to the side-stage and looked into the audience. "That's a lot of people out there," Felix whispered. The older two took his hands, squeezing them encouragingly. 

"Perfect audience to perform this song for, for the first time ever," Hyunjin told him, winking cheekily at him. 

"Look, there’s Channie and the boys," Minho said, pointing at the first row a little to the right. Chan and Changbin were sitting next to each other, almost placed perfectly in his opinion, to watch Felix and himself. Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin were sitting next to Chan, all waiting curiously for their friends to come on stage. They began to walk out on stage as their names were announced and smirked at the screams, combined with Chan's eyes widening seeing his outfit. They both knew Chan was a sucker for him in blue. The lights only increased the effect. 

As they waited for the music to start, Minho met Chan's eyes and teasingly opened his suit jacket with a winning smirk, putting the ring on display. He had trouble holding back a grin as Chan licked his lips. The fans started cheering at his action, and Minho turned his attention to the audience. He chuckled into the microphone and did it again, this time for the audience, before getting shy at the screams and smiling brightly, looking down at the floor. Felix and Hyunjin giggled at his antics, trying to stay serious themselves. 

Changbin and Chan exchanged a look, knowing the other probably had the same impure thoughts about his boyfriend. "Fuck me," Chan breathed out quietly, and Changbin chuckled at him. 

"I'm sure he would if you'd ask nicely," he grinned and earned a punch in his arm. The others laughed at them, not needing to hear them to know what they were talking about. 

The music started, and Minho locked in, starting to move to the beat. It was kind of funny that not even their members knew what they were in for. The moment Felix's beautiful, deep voice rang through the air, the fans started shouting, and honestly, he didn't blame them. Minho started his verse, and to his surprise, he got about the same reaction to his smooth, soft voice. A rush of adrenaline filled him, and he knew he was performing well, judging by the looks of his members as he danced during Hyunjin's part. Minho took a deep breath and casually strolled to the side before starting to sing the higher notes, hitting them all beautifully making the crowd go wild once more. Chan beamed at him proudly, knowing how hard he had worked to perfect that part. 

Chan was mesmerized, looking up at his boyfriend on stage in awe. He looked beautiful in this outfit, and his heart warmed seeing him wearing the ring he bought him. His voice sounded amazing tonight, and his stage presence was undeniable. Thinking about it, Chan couldn't remember ever seeing him so in his element like this, which meant a lot, considering Minho was their main dancer. 

What didn't help was watching the way his body moved in front of thousands of people and knowing how he looked beneath the many layers of fabric. Chan did, in fact, appreciate the tight suit pants, and his jaw dropped as he got down on the floor, rolling his hips with his hand placed dangerously close to his crotch. Jisung nudged him gently, and he quickly closed his mouth again, shifting a little in his seat. 

Minho moved into a sitting position, continuing his dance movements. His intense gaze locked into Chan’s, captivating him as he continued singing. "Don't make me bad, make me bad, I'm addicted to you….Don't make me bad, bad, addicted to you." 

Chan's eyes clouded with desire the longer he watched him. He couldn't help himself feeling like Minho put on a perfectly balanced show for him and their fans. 

The performance came to an end, and they took their ending pose. Minho panted softly before meeting eyes with Chan and smirking succeedingly, knowing exactly how much he had just worked him up. He exchanged a look with Felix and Hyunjin before they all left the stage, waving at their cheering fans and friends. 

They made their way back to their room and weren't even able to sit down as their friends and boyfriends stepped inside. Minho's eyes widened at how loud the room suddenly was, and laughed at their friends, telling them how amazing their performance was. Locking eyes with Chan made him shiver with anticipation. Chan simply nodded at the door before leaving again. Minho slipped outside as the others were busy and frowned softly when Chan was nowhere to be seen. He walked down the hallway, and a door to his left opened. Chan grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, throwing the door closed again. Minho found himself pressed against the door within seconds, and a low moan fell from his lips as Chan braced himself next to his head, looking down at him with nothing but desire in his eyes. "Hi there," he said innocently. "You liked the performance?" 

Chan grabbed his chin and searched his eyes. "You think it's funny making me hard in front of I don't know how many people?" 

"You…wow," he grinned proudly. 

"Don't look so smug," Chan giggled and groaned softly, pressing their foreheads together. "Fuck, you looked hot up there, baby."

"Thank you," he smiled sweetly and nudged his nose. "What's the secret room reserved for you only about?" he asked, spotting the name sign on the desk right in front of the mirror. Catching his reflection, he had to admit he was looking great tonight, even now that his hair was a bit of a mess. 

"So I can kiss you without anyone seeing, of course," Chan answered casually. 

"Oh," he nodded and couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. 

"You sound like that's a bad idea," he commented, frowning at him. He almost looked a little disappointed. "Did you think we'd - Minho!" 

"What?" he asked, slightly offended, and ducked down, taking a step to the side and away from him. "I'm sorry. I thought that was your intention, leading me away from everyone. You could've kissed me in our room." 

"You can't possibly think I wanted to have sex right here? With so many people passing by that door at all times?" he was a little in shock, and Minho rolled his eyes at him before sitting on the desk. 

"Why not? When did that ever bother you before, huh?" he asked and started fiddling with the necklace to take it off. "Forget it. This was a stupid idea," he said and took off the necklace, slamming it down on the table. 

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked softly. 

"No, obviously not. I'm making a fool out of myself here hoping this-," he gestured at himself. "-would finally make me attractive enough in your eyes again to go further than a kiss." 

"Wait, what?" he asked truly shocked now. His eyes widened at what he thought Minho was insinuating. 

"Two months ago, you would've gotten into my pants before I properly locked the door. You've been locking yourself up with Hannie and Changbin lately. And it's starting to piss Felix off, but I guess it makes me question myself. I don't know when the last you actually touched me and…is it because I gained weight again?" he asked, a flare of insecurity igniting in his brain as he glanced down at how his form-fitting. "Or-," he stopped as Chan was suddenly in front of him, cupping his face. 

"Baby, take a deep breath," he said kindly, and Minho glared at him, huffing softly but doing it anyways. "I'm so sorry for neglecting your needs. We've just been creating so much for the group and working on new stuff. I didn't know it was making you question yourself." 

"Well, of course it does," he pouted and nervously played with his ring, looking down at it. "Just forget it, Channie. I'm being stupid, this whole idea was stupid from the beginning." 

"What idea?" he chuckled softly. 

"All of this," he said grumpily as Chan seemed to find it amusing. 

"A warning would've been nice, kitten," he said, his voice growing smooth and low. 

Minho blinked at him, and his stomach flipped at the desire dancing in Chan's pupils. "About what? The outfit, the flirting, the dance..the intention behind all of it?" he asked innocently. 

Chan fondled up his thighs. "All of it?" he asked quietly and leaned in closer. 

"Well, where's the fun in that?" Minho asked and sank deep into his eyes. 

"I would've come prepared," he told him. 

"Check my pockets," he smirked and hopped off the table. 

Chan frowned softly before reaching into the pocket at the back. He couldn't help himself, teasingly squeezing his ass before pulling out two condoms. "Did you..?"

"No, I didn't carry them around on stage, you dumbass. I had them stored away in the waiting room," he protested, taking out the small bottle of lube from his jacket. 

"Fuck Min. Are you sure we can do this now?" he asked, checking his phone for the time. 

"Seriously? There are twenty performances before ours, which gives us at least an hour," he groaned impatiently. "But if you keep wasting time, we can't do this."

"You really came prepared, huh," Chan giggled, watching Minho impatiently unbuckling his belt. "You're in a rush?" 

"Whatever you plan on doing, these trousers come off," he told him. 

"That's a bummer. Your ass and thighs look really great in it," Chan pouted playfully. 

"They look even better when I’m straddling your dick, now move or I'll do it myself," he gave back smoothly with a hint of sassiness. Chan pulled him into a very passionate kiss, intoxicating enough to keep him dazed. His hands grabbed his ass, pulling him close as their lips met. "That's more like it," Minho smiled as he pulled back.

Chan hummed gently and unbuttoned the blue-striped vest, kissing down his torso as more skin slowly revealed itself. "By the way, you look beautiful as always, and I don't mind you gaining weight one bit," he assured him before planting a loving kiss right on the scar on his stomach. 

Minho smiled gently and brushed his hair back, looking down at him. "I know…you know how I get sometimes." 

"I do," he smiled and squeezed his hips before coming back up and kissing him on the mouth instead. "I think after delivering such a show, you deserve to see how stunning you look when you fall apart."

Minho gasped softly and looked at him with wide eyes, darkening with passion. "Just be careful and don't leave a mark in places people will see with the new outfit." 

"I'll be careful," he promised before turning him around so he was facing the mirror. 

Minho leaned back against him, inspected their reflection, and met his eyes through the mirror. "Don't we look good together?" 

"I think we fit together perfectly," Chan hummed, agreeing, and reached down into his pants, stroking his dick gently. Minho's eyes fluttered, lips parting with a gasp. Chan growled lowly and buried his nose in his neck. "Fuck Min, please tell me you're keeping this outfit. I need to fuck you properly in it tonight." 

Minho blinked at him through the mirror. "Shit, is this one of your kinks, hyung?" 

Chan pressed himself against him and gently wrapped his hand around his neck, careful not to leave any marks. "Call it whatever you want, kitten." 

Minho shivered at the contact and melted against him. "I mean, I can ask if I can keep it," he said and chuckled as Chan let go of him, dropping down to his knees in front of him. 

"You're right, I haven't been appreciating what I come home to every night enough," he tells him and fondles up his thighs. "Let me make it up to you," he said, taking the band of his boxers between his teeth and pulling them down, along with his pants. 

-

"Where's Chan hyung?" Changbin asked, confused. 

"Probably fucking Minho hyung's brains out, why?" Jeongin gave back dryly. The painfully loud silence called him to look up from his phone. "What?!" 

"Sometimes it scares me how grown-up you are now," Hyunjin said with wide eyes. His words were rewarded with him sticking his tongue out at him. 

"Maybe it's the other way around," Seungmin suggested with a shrug, casually scrolling through his phone. 

"The suit might work," Jisung hummed, agreeing. 

"I hate you all," Changbin groaned. 

"Loosen up, babe," Felix smirked. "We all know he's right." 

"Exactly," Jeongin grinned before squinting his eyes at Felix and Changbin. "Also, weren't you doing the same thing just minutes ago?" 

"Darling, that's enough," Seungmin said softly. 

"At this point, we should be allowed to do it on the sofa. Everyone knows anyway," he shrugged. 

"Minho hyung, help!" Hyunjin shouted in shock, making everyone laugh. "He'd kick your ass for that." 

"I'll go and get some coffee. Let's hope they're back to collect their kids after," Changbin sighed, and Felix giggled softly. 

"You're their kid too, dumbass," Jisung pointed out. 

"Yeah, fuck you too," he laughed. 

-

Minho pulled up the zipper of his pants, smirking at Chan, fixing his messed-up hair. Their eyes met through the mirror, and Chan turned, again dropping to his knees. He hugged him tight, burying his face in his stomach for a moment before looking up at him with dreamy eyes. Minho beamed at him, gently brushing back his hair. He hadn't been this happy in a while, being on stage without thinking about his knee anymore. He had his friends there, a very supportive boyfriend, and gosh, he loved him. All that stupid drama, those many lows and equal ups in between had made them grow much closer than before. He wouldn't want it any different now. Minho was finally truly happy, ready to face whatever was coming with Chan right by his side. This time, he was sure he'd have his back. "Channie hyung?" 

"Yes?" he asked sweetly. 

"I love you," he said. "Never forget that." 

"I think I'm addicted to you," Chan breathed out, and his eyes grew incredibly soft. "I love you more than anything else." 

"You'd die for those kids out there. Don't put me first," he giggled softly. 

"I'd die for you too," he told him. Minho believed him, truly. 

"Stay alive for me, baby boy," Minho shook his head, crouching down and kissing him hard on the mouth as tears brimmed Chan's eyes. 

"I love you too," he whispered and took his hand, kissing the ring. He got up and held up his pinky finger. “You and me against the world?”

“Forever,” Minho answered smiling, sealing the deal.

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @kailee08 @mal-lunar-28 @aaasia111 @lilmisssona @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @rebecca-johnson-28 @mellhwang @lixie-phoria @michelle4eve @xxstrayland @lost-in-avoidance

#stray kids #skz #chan #minho #minchan #skz fic #chan fic #stray kids fic #minho fic #minho angst #minho fluff #minho smut #chan angst #chan smut #chan fluff #bangchan #lee know #bangchan smut #bangchan fluff #bangchan angst #lee know angst #lee know smut #lee know fluff #minchan angst #minchan smut #minchan fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #skz fluff

[little-peril-stories]

The Queen of Lies: Hope and Healing

Story Intro | Contents [Warnings] | Mood Board | Vibey Song Lyrics | Ao3

Contents: injury, guy whump (all still leftover stuff), angst, nonsexual nudity, reference to abusive relationship

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Word count: 4900 || Approx reading time: 20 mins

Hope and Healing

Teaser: He fixed her with that stare again, beseeching her with such preposterous earnestness that she had to turn away for fear she would crumble. “Weren’t you lecturing me the other day about taking care of myself? You need to do the same.”

The fever faded quickly, and although the cough took longer to dissipate, Bree allowed herself to hope that perhaps Fox was on the mend. In the days that followed their early-morning flight from “Lucy Cooper’s” trail, Bree settled into an almost-comfortable routine: slipping out to peek at the headlines hawked by yowling newsboys, scanning the posters put up around the city for any familiar faces, working on a variety of sewing and mending projects to keep her mind and fingers busy, and ensuring the boy she’d taken under her wing was still alive.

Fox rested for most of the first day, waking when she roused him to eat or drink. To her surprise, he was quiet—pensive, perhaps, or, Bree thought nervously, still wary of her. She feared to pull him into conversation, lest she ask a question he could not answer, or lest she say something foolish that would break what little trust she was trying so hard to gain.

Every so often, she caught him staring at her, but especially at first, he said little.

In the light of day, Bree beheld his bright, wicked bruises and scrapes—at times, she could not take her eyes off them. How garish and hideous were the colours that painted his skin—purple and black, yellow and green, grey and red and pink.

While he was awake, he hardly seemed to notice that he was covered in injuries. It was only at the end of the second day in the inn he’d chosen that she caught him fussing with the sling Mrs. Bristow had so kindly and so deftly made for him.

“What are you doing?” Bree demanded, all caution forgotten. “You’re supposed to leave that alone.”

“It’s annoying,” he said, paying no heed to her disapproving glare as he struggled to reach the knot.

“You’re being childish,” she said sternly. “She gave it to you to help your arm heal.”

“Well, my arm’s fine.”

She crossed hers. “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

The look he gave her was a most extraordinary blend of plea and annoyance—and the slightest whisper of mischief. “Yes?”

Pursing her lips, Bree told him, “I don’t.”

“Will you help me take it off?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “Of course not!”

“Please?”

He fixed her with that stare again, beseeching her with such preposterous earnestness that she had to turn away for fear she would crumble. “Weren’t you lecturing me the other day about taking care of myself? You need to do the same.”

But when she looked back, he had wriggled out of the sling on his own, and when he caught her eye, he grinned in celebration of his honestly won but entirely foolhardy triumph.

“You’ll likely regret that,” she told him with a sigh.

Fox shrugged. “Maybe. Oh, well.”

It was mere days later when her prophecy came true.

On the edge of the bed, he was wide awake and sitting still, clutching a cup of water, his gaze faraway. As Bree watched him out of the corner of her eye, slowly stitching the seams of a shirt she’d begun to make the moment she got her hands on some material, he reached up as if to touch his head, only to grimace and bring his arm back down.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, alarmed at the pain evident in his face.

“Nothing.”

She laid aside her sewing and stood, drawing closer. “Are you just trying to save face because you realize you should have let your arm heal longer?”

“No.”

“Fox,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

Coughing, he looked away, and bright spots appeared on his cheeks. “Okay. Fine. You’re right. It’s my arm,” he said finally. “I still… I still can’t lift it. Much. Not real high.”

Bree was quite prepared to say, Well, maybe you should have done as Mrs. Bristow said, but at the last moment, she decided upon, “What do you need?”

“Nothing,” he repeated.

“All right,” she said, turning away but not moving her feet just yet.

Waiting.

And after an endless moment, just when she was about to give up and walk away, Fox spoke again. “My head. It’s fucking itchy.”

Biting her lip, tempted to laugh yet knowing she absolutely shouldn’t, Bree asked, “You want me to scratch your head for you?”

“No,” he said, setting his jaw and not meeting her eyes, “I really don’t.”

Her mind spun as she realized what the solution was—a solution that either had not occurred to him, or he was too embarrassed to say. “I can wash your hair.”

As her face flooded fully scarlet, his did, too. “You don’t have to do that. You—we—” He swallowed. “We don’t know each other that well. I won’t ask you to…”

“You didn’t ask me,” Bree said. Part of her felt as if she were outside of her own body, watching herself make her proposition. “I’m offering.”

His clenched fists seemed to tighten, the knuckles turning white.

And then they relaxed. “I’m sorry.”

These were not the words Bree was expecting to hear. Surprise forced a soft gasp from her lips, and without meaning to, she took a step back. “For what?”

“That you feel like you have to take care of me.”

“You can’t lift your arm,” she pointed out. “Though I might argue that part of it is your own fault. Perhaps you should have let it heal properly?”

His mouth twitched. Bree thought of every moment she’d seen it do that before, when he was about to grace her with some kind of wicked or vulgar comment, or a sardonic laugh, or perhaps both.

“Ha. Hilarious.” He looked away for a moment. “It’s not just that.”

Apparently not this time, though.

Bree raised her eyebrows. “What else, then?”

Fox’s gaze swept over her, collecting, she knew, every fading, yellowed bruise. Unable to stop herself, she adjusted the collar of her shirt, making sure it was in place and buttoned fully. “I…” But whatever he’d thought he wanted to say, he had evidently changed his mind. “Nothing.”

Unsure why her stomach was sinking, Bree said, “I’ll get some water heated.”

“It’s fucking stupid you have to keep going downstairs for that,” he muttered.

“I don’t mind,” she said. In truth, it was exhausting. But it was a very affordable establishment, one Baden had likely never even heard of, and that meant there was no fireplace in their tiny room, and so traipsing up and down the stairs for heated water was their only option.

He was out of the bed when she returned, standing by the tiny window, clinging tightly to the sill. “You’re up,” Bree said, surprised.

He threw her a look of mock astonishment. “Am I?”

She made a face back at him, directing him to sit with his back to the writing desk. “Come on, then. Sit here. This way you won’t have to lean too far backwards.”

Although he did as she asked, taking a seat and pulling off his shirt, he was still and stiff at first—barely moving, holding his head and his back perfectly straight.

“You can relax, you know,” she said, watching greyish water trickle from his wet strands down the web of lash-wounds on his back. As more droplets slid down his skin, he shivered.

“You try relaxing,” he said, “when there isn’t a part of you that hurts like hell.”

Bree wilted at the palpable sadness in his voice. “Oh.” Of course. Who knew how long he’d be languishing in the pain of his injuries? “I’m sorry—”

“But,” he said, shifting and rolling his good shoulder with a wince, glancing back at her, “I’ll try. For you.”

Perhaps that was the best she could hope for; perhaps it was the best he could do. And that counted for something, didn’t it?

The soap was slick and fragrant against her fingers. The inn had provided hard lumps of ordinary yellow soap, but on one of her excursions outside, Bree hadn’t been able to resist purchasing a scented white bar. Fox had gaped when she produced it, like he’d never seen such a thing before, and it had taken her several minutes to realize that he hadn’t.

“Damn,” he mumbled now. “Smells so good.” Bree smiled to herself as his tight muscles relaxed for real, and his head tipped back just a little more.

How strange it was, how astonishingly intimate, to have her fingers tangled in the thick, red-brown locks of someone else. She’d never washed Baden’s hair. Had never even felt much of an urge to touch it, to run her hands through it and feel each strand against her skin. But this, even with the dirt that washed away with each rinse—this was different: lovely, potent, thrilling. Like silken threads woven with bronze, like some entity of creation had crafted this man from warm earth and molten metal. The colours in his hair glinted, even in a room lit only by a lamp and the light of day sneaking in through the meagre window.

“How does that feel?” she asked when she’d rinsed away the lather, perturbed by how sorry she was to be finished.

He shook his head wildly, and Bree couldn’t suppress a squeal and then a laugh at the spray of droplets that pelted her with cool, damp kisses.

“God,” he said, “so much better.” Her heart swelled in her chest as he twisted around to look her in the eye. “Thank you.”

Was she blushing? No. It was just warm in the room. Somehow—despite the autumn air leaking in from outside. Despite the lack of a fireplace. Somehow.

Just warm.

***

“All right,” said Fox. He spun slowly, arms spread wide. “How’s it look?”

Bree tilted her head to one side, forcing herself to focus on judging her handiwork and to disregard how striking the pale fabric was when accompanied by red-brown hair and bright eyes. “Well. I can’t say it’s the best thing I’ve ever made.”

“What?” He looked down at himself, then threw a petulant look toward her, insulted. “What’s wrong with it? Don’t I look good?”

“You look fine,” she said, laughing. “My seams are a little crooked.”

The shirt was finally done, and her assessment was self-deprecating, she thought, but fair. With limited time and supplies, she’d rushed the job a little, and the places where her stitches had gone sloppy and her lines had veered off course stuck out to her as if the thread was the wrong colour. But it could not be denied that the white cotton suited him well, and not just because it hid his bruises.

“Fine? That’s it?” Fox rolled his eyes. “Who cares about…seams?”

“I do.” Baden had stopped letting her make clothes for him, preferring to spend more at the seamstress, because hers were never to his satisfaction. “But it’ll have to do, I suppose.”

He blew out a mock-irritated breath. “You sure know how to make a man feel good about himself.”

“Goodness, you’re vain,” she said. “You look incredibly handsome. Stunning, in fact. Crooked seams will be all the rage by next year. That’s how wonderful you look.”

Grinning and puffing out his chest most dramatically, he said, “Now, that’s what I wanted to hear.”

“You,” she said, “are impossible.”

“Impossibly handsome.”

Bree turned away as if that could possibly hide how she was giggling.

When she looked back at him, he was smiling, too. A proper smile, not the spectre of happiness that had become his signature expression when it seemed like he wanted to express anything other than misery. No, this was real—bright and lovely and, well, yes, handsome. And then his smile became a laugh, and it warmed her even though their hearthless room was cold, curling around her like a blanket, like warm arms in an embrace, like—

Slamming the door on that thought, Bree went to gaze out the tiny window, leaving him to revel in his vanity in front of the room’s cracked mirror. “Oh…”

“Hmm?”

“It’s…” Surely he would think she was being silly. “Nothing. It’s just…the sky.”

“What about it?”

She gazed up at the clear autumn night, appreciating the expanse of stars that shone above them. “Well, the stars just look beautiful. It’s clear tonight.”

He paused whatever he was doing, fussing with his buttons or preening or making some other show of the swagger that was beginning to rear its head as he recuperated. “You never seen stars before?”

“Oh, never mind,” she said. “I just thought they looked pretty.”

One of his eyebrows darted upwards. “It’s a real question.”

“Of course I’ve seen stars before!” Bree said. “Who hasn’t?”

“Well, I don’t know.” He crossed the room to stand beside her. “Hatchett sucks the fucking joy out of everything else he touches. Why not the night sky, too? Did he even let you out of the house after dark?”

She never, never should have told him about being locked in her room. “Mind your own…” She couldn’t finish. “Let’s not talk about him. Just enjoy the view.”

He didn’t argue, but stilled and looked out at the sky, the fabric of the shirt she’d made him brushing against the sleeve of her own.

“You’re right,” he said. “Beautiful.”

Bree nodded, keeping her attention on the sky.

They stood in silence, peering up at the stars through the warped glass. Bree didn’t mind the distorted view. In fact, she rather liked how the stars shifted and morphed every time she moved her head—rather liked how they were quite perfectly imperfect.

“We should sleep,” she said at long last, stepping away from the window and glancing up. It was startling to find that Fox’s gaze was no longer on the sky.

“You gonna keep sleeping on the floor?”

Taking another step away, her pulse racing, Bree said firmly, “Yes.”

“All right,” he said, then paused. “Wait. Actually. No.”

“No, what?”

“No, you’re not sleeping on the floor.”

“Yes, I am,” she said, her voice squeaking in a most humiliating fashion. “Of c-course I—”

“I’ll sleep down there tonight,” he said, and seeing her aghast expression, he added tiredly, “and if you really want to make a big fuss about it, we can take turns from now on. Okay?”

“But you—”

“But I’m fine, Bree. Lots better.” He gestured dramatically at the bed. “Come on. Or I’ll have to throw you into it.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Oh, you’re allowed to make those threats, but I’m not?”

She was laughing—laughing—at this utter ridiculousness. The theatrical wave of his arm as he ushered her, the earnestness in his face, the teasing touch to his words that said he wouldn’t actually pick her up and toss her onto the bed and yet still left the idea turning over in her mind—

“Fine!” she said quickly. “We—we’ll take turns.”

“Jeez,” he said, visibly relieved. “Finally.”

She glanced up at him. “I can’t believe you remember me saying that.” In her memory, he’d been more dead than alive when she ordered him into bed on that first night of freedom—a far cry from the smirking, very-much-alive man in front of her now.

“How could I forget? You were threatening me and bossing me around like some kind of general. While I was dying.”

She choked at this uncomfortably accurate accusation. “That is not…true!” She folded her arms. “Or, at the very least, some egregious embellishment of what actually happened.”

“Egregious? Whatever that means,” he said with a snort. Seeing her still standing with her arms crossed, he imitated her posture. “‘Egregious embellishment,’” he half-sang, putting on a voice that was clearly meant to mimic hers. “‘Get in that bed or I’ll throw you in!’ ‘You look fine!’”

Oh, how she was already regretting that comment.

Bree picked up her shawl and threw it at him. “Vain and petty. Who knew?”

He caught it easily, even with only one full-strength arm, and laughed. “Good night, Bree.”

“Good n—” she echoed, only to wind up with the shawl flying right towards her face, so the word ended in a sputter as she tried unsuccessfully to catch it.

At the peal of laughter she could not suppress, he grinned, stripping off his shirt to prepare for sleep, and swiped a pillow off the bed so he could settle on the floor. As her giggles died down and she, too, got ready for sleep, Bree pretended not to notice the glistening stripes on his skin that no amount of hard work, neat stitching, or helpless laughter could ever repair.

***

“Close your eyes,” Bree said. “And turn around.”

“Ah,” Fox said, eyeing the steaming water she’d brought into the room. “This again.”

“What do you mean, this again?” she demanded. “It’s not unreasonable to want a bit of privacy.”

It would have been nice to feel comfortable using one of the bathing rooms downstairs—to let go of the worry that someone might recognize her face, or his. It certainly would have taken care of the issue, thorny at the best of times, of needing to undress while Fox remained in the room.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” He laid down on the bed, eyes closed. “This good enough for you, princess?”

Bree glared at him even though he couldn’t see it. “And don’t start that up again.”

One hazel eye popped open. “Don’t start what up again?”

“You know what. The princess thing.” Bree frowned. “Close it. And turn around!”

Already, he was laughing. “All right. You got it.” Bree waited, and he didn’t let her down. “…Princess.”

“You’re awfully annoying,” she said, but the insult was half-hearted, and his smirk didn’t waver as he turned away.

For the first time in days, Bree imagined what Baden would think if he were there, watching her tug away each layer of clothing and strip down to her whites, then lose those, too, until she was stark naked in a room with a man whose real name she still did not know.

Oh, the things he would say if—

She shoved the thought from her mind. Baden was not here. Baden did not know. Baden would never know.

As she enjoyed the feeling of hot water over her skin and the lather of soap against her scalp, it was Fox’s voice, far more welcome and infinitely more pleasant, that floated over to her. “Do you think…”

Wetting her hair until it was heavy and sopping, she prompted, “Do I think what?” when he fell silent, his thought unfinished.

“I just…” Fox heaved a sigh, heavier than it had been in some time. Laden, it seemed, with a burden Bree could not understand, whooshing through the room like a gale in a storm. “You know. Been inside too long.”

Bree blinked. “Um. You want to go out there? Aren’t you…wanted?”

“Aren’t you?” he shot back.

It hadn’t taken long for the posters to appear. She’d returned from a jaunt to the marketplace, not long after their arrival at the second inn, clutching two very distressing pieces of paper. “I have…bad news.”

He’d looked up from where he sat by the window, alarmed, paling a little when Bree showed him the two posters she’d pulled from the square: one featuring a drawing of him, proclaiming him to be a violent and volatile criminal, and a second featuring her—proclaiming her to be the innocent victim of a kidnapping.

“Fucking fuck,” he’d grumbled, glaring down at the illustration. “I mean. Guess it’s not surprising. But for fuck’s sake.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Hell. You kidnapped me.”

“Fox!” she’d gasped. “I did not.”

Now, as she rinsed her hair, letting the thick, brown strands fall in sodden ropes over her shoulders, she thought of the posters again. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to let other people see your face.”

“Not any different for you,” he said. “Someone could recognize your face, too.”

She knew that. Of course she did. But someone had to be the one to go out. “Mine doesn’t say I’m a criminal.”

How mad it was to be sitting so calmly, naked, dripping wet, in the same room as a man who was still in so many ways a stranger, discussing their respective wanted posters.

“It’s hard to be inside all the time,” he mumbled, but he fell quiet.

When she slipped back into her underclothes, her face grew warm. She’d known she was going to wash her clothes, including her new dress, and yet now that she was dressed only in her whites, fresh embarrassment swept through her.

Suddenly, the prospect of telling him he could open his eyes was terrifying.

“Bree,” he said, impatient, as if he could tell that she was finished but hesitating.

“All right.” She snatched up her shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders. “It’s f-fine now.”

Fox sat up and turned toward her, eyes already open wide. She should have known he’d struggle with lying still and with his eyes closed for so long. He complained no further, however. He merely said, “You’re cold.”

“It’s cold in here,” said, drawing the shawl a little tighter around her. “So. Yes. I suppose I am.”

With a sigh, he waved at the bed. “Just come under the blanket for a bit.”

Bree almost refused—thought of sitting next to him when she was so scandalously underdressed, imagined how his arm might brush up against the bare skin of hers. The thought of it sent a peculiar feeling bolting through her, like liquid lightning in her veins, like a flower unfurling in first bloom beneath the spring sun. Suddenly, the idea seemed less frightening and more…intriguing.

What a thought! She was just cold, and joining him under the blanket was just good sense. She was shivering, after all. It was the sensible thing to do.

But as she headed toward him, Fox shifted toward the edge, evidently planning to stand up.

“It’s all right,” she said.

Fox froze, half-risen from the bed. “What?”

“You can stay here,” she said, and there was no point in pretending her cheeks weren’t flushing violently. “It’s all right. I don’t mind.”

He gave her a doubtful look; she supposed she couldn’t blame him, especially not after the fuss she’d made about him keeping his eyes closed while she bathed.

“I mean it,” she said. What point was there, she asked herself, in fabricating any measure of modesty between the two of them any longer? She’d washed his bare back. She’d washed his hair. She was standing next to him in her whites, for heaven’s sake.

Slowly, he relaxed again, leaning back against the wall. “If…if you say so.”

With her damp tresses resting upon the woollen shawl, with gooseflesh rising on her arms, with her heart veritably flying around her chest, Bree hardly breathed when she slid onto the bed, keenly aware—painfully aware—dizzily aware—of the warm body pressed against hers.

“I gotta ask again,” he said suddenly. Loudly. Forcefully enough to make her jump.

“Ask what?” Somehow, she knew he didn’t mean to ask whether she was cold.

“Why’d you help me?”

Bree blinked, biting back her question of why he had picked this moment, exactly—when she was half-naked and cold and wet—to resurrect his query. “I told you.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said. She quivered when he turned toward her, his elbow brushing hers. “Not really.”

“I was telling the truth,” she said. “You didn’t deserve all that. The flogging. That—the way they—he—he—”

She had done a remarkable job, she thought, of keeping those memories at bay. The silly girl who’d fainted away before the whipping post seemed like a different person; the events that followed might have happened to someone else. Now, however, with naught between them but cold air that felt warm, with proximity that should have been distance, and friendship that in another life might have been apathy, disdain, or disgust, they came flooding back. The cat-o’-nine-tails. The cell. The locked room. The fires. The flight through the city.

The flutter in her chest, and the inexplicable, resolute acceptance that no, he had not deserved any of it.

The haunting suspicion that, actually, no, there was not another life where she looked upon him with indifference or with scorn.

But Fox shook his head. “You don’t know that I didn’t deserve it. You never did. For sure not then.”

“Of course I—”

“Really?” He frowned. “What do you actually know about me?”

And before she could stop herself, before she could rein in the quiet bitterness she harboured about how he still kept his name from her, Bree said, “Well, nothing.”

“You gave up your whole fucking life,” Fox said softly. If he heard the pointed resentment in her voice, he did not mention it—but neither did he meet her gaze. “Everything. You set the fucking place on fire, and you dragged me out of there when you could have left me to rot. You left your—”

“Fox.”

His words faded, and he took a deep breath, bunching the blanket in his hands. “What?”

“I didn’t have to know you to know he was being cruel,” she said. “But I saw—I was there the day at the whipping post.” She swallowed. “I tried to forget you.”

At this, his head jerked to look away, and Bree wished she hadn’t confessed that she’d tried to put him out of her mind.

“I couldn’t, though.” Nor, she knew, would she ever. As she went on, her words babbled out faster, the pitch of her voice going erratic. “I didn’t need to know what you’d done because I know what he’s like, and I couldn’t forget you because for the first time ever, there was someone else who knew, too, and even though you didn’t know me, we had this awful thing in common and you—you knew what it felt like to have him—to have him—well, everyone loves him, you know—they see the uniform and not what’s underneath it, but not me, I know, and I saw you that day and even though you didn’t see me, not truly, not really, I still felt…”

Bree stared at the mountains of her knees rising from the paper-thin blanket—watched how they shook. Her heart was pounding enough, it seemed, to cause an earthquake, to shift the very segments of the earth, to crumble cities to ash and rubble. Why in heaven’s name had she told him any of that?

She couldn’t look at him. Not now, maybe never again.

But her treacherous lips kept moving. “That day,” she said, “it was like we were the only two people in the world who knew the secret of what he’s really like on the inside.”

The thought was ludicrous, of course. Neither of them was special. It wasn’t just him. How many other prisoners had been treated much the same as Fox had? And her—why, if she hadn’t married Baden Hatchett, some other poor girl would have suffered in her place.

A poem she had once read in a magazine came to her now, and she was murmuring before she realized what she was doing: “‘I sold myself to a loveless thing.’” She regretted speaking the moment she was done, but she couldn’t stop herself from reciting the next line in her head: And I walk’d to the altar and there I lied.

Some magic spell, some otherworldly compulsion, had her looking back to him, seeking his gaze even though she dreaded what she might find here. His eyes, too, were back on her now, welling with something that sent cracks and splinters through her chest. “I did see you that day. Sort of.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He didn’t break his stare. “I thought I made you up. Like a dream or something.”

His gaze burned—not like Baden’s, not like the fire-and-ice glare she’d come to fear. This gaze burned like sunshine—like spring, like warmth on meadow grasses, like the glint of golden light off a pond. It burned, and it didn’t waver, and she knew where he was looking when he shifted a strand of damp hair away from her neck. Away from the last yellowing bruise that in a few days would be gone.

His fingers were so warm. So gentle. The heat of him crackled against her skin, pulling at her, magnetizing and intoxicating.

But—

“No,” she whispered.

Not now. Not like this. Not when he was still healing, not when her skin was still stained with the mark of Baden’s twisted version of love.

Not while she still didn’t know his name.

Fox let go, and she didn’t look as he shifted into some new motion, the soft intake of breath and the rising of his arms the only hint at what he was doing.

“Here,” he said. “Just wear it until yours dries.”

The shirt she’d made for him, held out in offering.

When she glanced over in surprise, he smirked and shook his head, dropping the shirt into her hands, still warm from the heat of his skin. As she opened her mouth, hardly knowing what to say beyond Thank you, he turned his head away and rested his hand mere inches from her leg, empty and still, but radiating heat and invisible flame.

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Hey @starlit-hopes-and-dreams ... I fixed it 💕

Taglist (please let me know if you’d like to be added/removed!)

@clairelsonao3

@gala1981

@pleasestaywithmedarling

#lps the queen of lies #whump #whump story #whump writing #original writing #original story #original content #lady whump #guy whump #romance #angst

[yoonsluvie]

Quickie.

pairings: idol!jjk x fmr.

genre:smut.

summary: You were just a sneaky link to him, so you were just his plaything that he uses when he's needy.

warnings:drooling, praise kink, just pure smut if you ask me 🧍🏻‍♀️

Authors Note: Hello! This was a rushed one because i was busy with something, so here's another drabble of kook! Enjoy and read at your risk lovelies. (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

word count:600+

Song Inspo!

✧

You fumbled with Jungkook's belt as he just chuckled, carefully watching you with attentive eyes as you took off his pants.

You didn't know what really was your relationship with him, some people might say(but no one knows about this.) that you're his sneaky link. Probably because the fact that no one knows you're fucking him. Also, it's going to be weird if people found out you were fucking one of the members of a big ass boy band. You weren't even that good looking to be seen with someone like him.

You were working as a makeup artist for the boy band, which is currently the reason why you're on your knees and between his legs. Which reminds you of the man in front of you, waiting for you to finally do your next move as he clenches his jaw in annoyance.

You sigh, your finger is on the hem of his Calvin Klein boxers, waiting for him to get his ass up which he does after noticing your signal. You were greeted by his impatient cock, the tip already asking for attention which you happily give some after a few moments of admiring his dick.

He threw his head back while groaning when you finally wrapped your mouth around his tip, giving it the attention it needed.

"Fuck, keep going." He grabbed your hair tightly, holding it in a ponytail style which helps you focus on sucking his cock more. After a few minutes of licking and sucking the tip of his cock, you lick the veins slowly while looking up at him, and finally wrapping your mouth around his cock which makes him groan in delight. "You always suck this cock so well." He praises you, making your pussy clench around nothing, begging for attention. You kept sucking his cock the way he always liked it, hard but slow.

Moans and groans were the sounds that can be heard in the staff room, you were scared that someone would come in and catch the both of you on the spot, but Jungkook didn't give a single fuck. He always said that if someone caught both of you, he would simply say that you're his girlfriend. Which, makes you more anxious. What would people think about you? Would they hate you for dating him? Hurt you? Those questions always flooded your mind, but for now, they are all gone because he was there to assure you that everything will be okay.

You felt his cock twitch, a sign that he's close to cumming in just a few minutes. Your mouth started aching from sucking, you're already drooling around his length and you didn't even notice it. "Shit, you want it in your mouth?" You nod eagerly, sucking his cock faster to help fasten his orgasm. "Swallow it all baby, yeah?" He groans, sending vibrations through your core. After a few moments, you feel his hot cum shoot up in your mouth, causing you to gag from the feeling but quickly swallowing it all and licking him clean. He slowly let go of your hair as he stood and showed you his smug smile before putting back on his boxers and pants, looking at you with a concerned face.

"You okay? Come here." You nod as you smile and throw yourself into his body, straddling on his lap. But before he can even lean in to kiss you, someone suddenly shouts from outside. 'We only have 20 minutes left, please get to the stage right this minute!'

He sighs in disbelief as you giggle at him. "I'll wait for you in the hotel tonight, good luck." You pecked his lips for the last time before winking, standing up to fix your disheveled hair before walking out of the room as if nothing happened inside it.

He always made sure to come to your hotel room every night, and because of this, you declared that this is your place with him and him only. Even if he was away during the day, he's always yours during the night.

☆

#bts #jungkook x oc #jungkook #bts smut #Spotify

[aus-wnt]

Interview with Micah

https://www-expressen-se.translate.goog/sport/fotboll/damallsvenskan/kan-vara-forodande-for-min-karriar-och-for-mitt-liv/?_x_tr_sl=sv&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=sv&_x_tr_pto=wapp

Thanks anon. Concussions are so damn scary.

The kick hit straight in the face and the first memory image was a gray fog.

After almost five months of rehabilitation, Teagan Micah, 25, is still not back in match form. Still, she is grateful.

- The first few months it wasn't football that worried me, then the question was more whether I would ever feel like normal again. It was a hard feeling that took me to a very dark place, says FC Rosengård's goalkeeper when she now chooses to tell about the time she herself describes as hell.

Beginning of December. Rosengård against Benfica in the Champions League and Teagan Micah raced out of his goal to beat striker Cloé Lacasse on a deep ball. She did prevent a goal, but the price was high.

The first memory I have is that I looked up and tried to focus on the scoreboard because I knew the match doctor was going to ask me if I knew what day it was and what the score was in the game. But I couldn't focus enough to see it, it was like a gray fog in front of my eyes.

Micah tried to stand up, but felt everything start to spin more and more.

Suddenly I started to cry. Beautiful tears that rolled down the cheeks. I couldn't control it. When you have a concussion, the emotions apparently don't do what they want.

Micah suffered a concussion At first, a fracture to the face was feared.

Eventually, only a concussion was diagnosed.

Or, just and just…

The crash was the start of a months-long nightmare for Micah.

The first weeks I couldn't do anything at all, just lay in bed. I couldn't even walk without feeling dizzy, had a constant headache.

Most of the time was spent in a dimmed room without television, mobile phone and other things that can strain a brain.

The Australian national team goalkeeper was far from home and felt increasingly isolated. The winter break came as a blessing in connection with Christmas. She was able to go home and see family and friends for a month.

But even there I had to isolate myself quite a lot because I wasn't feeling well. It's hard, I'm a very social person. I felt alone, I didn't have the health and I didn't have the football. A very tough time.

Teagan Micah returned to Malmö and FC Rosengård after the winter break, but after just one week she went to sports manager Therese Sjögran.

I cried and said that I need to go home again. I felt like I couldn't contribute at all to the team.

Leaving Rosengård again While the teammates went to Marbella for pre-season camp, Micah went back to Australia for a month.

She tried to get back on her feet with the national team doctor, who also works with many rugby players.

There is a lot of experience from concussions there.

Initially, the exercises were childishly simple. Micah had to stand and watch a ball drop to the ground and bounce up and down. She was asked to focus her gaze on a cross on the wall while turning her head from right to left.

Even such small exercises were enough to make me nauseous.

I also had VR glasses where I could see a ball going back and forth, but it also made me dizzy. Imagine then going out on a football field where there are 21 other players to follow, a ball, referee and everything around. It felt hopeless but I persevered.

National team doctor Brandi Cole pushed on. Eventually, Micah was back on a grass field.

I remember one of my first sessions. I drove for maybe 20 minutes and anyone who saw me after that must have thought I was drunk. My whole body was shaking, I felt like I needed to throw up and was carried off the field. Everything rocked.

Aiming for the WC in Australia Step by step, the sessions were extended and the exercises became more advanced. Today, Teagan Micah is not fully recovered, but it is close. She is back with FC Rosengård and training. Matches only become relevant when she can do a whole week of training without feeling any symptoms. She herself hopes that it is only a week or so away, but does not dare to withdraw anything in advance.

The goal is to be back to be able to play this summer's WC, at home in Australia and New Zealand. It has provided motivation, but also meant stress.

It's like a ticking bomb. I need to be back playing games before then. Before the injury I was in good shape and had 3-4 clean sheets in the last 5-6 games with the national team. When you get injured, it's often another goalkeeper who comes in and does a good job, so it's clear that it was stressful at times. Other times I think that I was bedridden for two months and that I shouldn't push too hard, it could be devastating for my career - and for my life.

#Teagan Micah #FC Rosengård #Matildas #AUSWNT

[myceliumtoaster]

Today I went to the preserve again!! I was nervous, as it was my first time walking there by myself. My ptsd + anxiety like to tell me that going outside isn't safe even though I now live quite far from (and no longer talk to) my abuser. Today, I decided that I'd do it even if it scared me, because I deserve to feel safe in my own neighborhood for fuck's sake. Knots were twisting in my stomach as I picked up my keys.

I almost didn't do it, but I took a bunch of deep breaths and stepped outside, pointedly walking towards the preserve. I forgot where I heard this, but apparently if you focus intently on the details around you it forces your nervous system to calm down because your brain is like oh I can't be running from a lion, I'm focusing REAL hard on this moss rn

So I put my headphones around my neck and did my best to ground and notice the stuff around me. It was maybe a 15, 20 min walk to the preserve and soon enough I was singing along to Mama by mcr and enjoying the sunlight on my skin.

My deities had been cheering me on the whole time, whenever the doubts creeped in I would hear their encouragement. I was about a block away from sweet sweet nature when I saw my very first crow, or maybe a raven! I've never seen one in the wild before, and I immediately knew it was someone watching over me. I suspect it was either the Morrigan or Lilith, as I've been working closely with both of them recently. It made me feel super safe and protected!

Once I got to the preserve, I said hi to the trees and forest on my way in. They're very wise, you know. They remember everyone and everything that comes through. Usually, when I've gone, I've been in a bit of a rush because of the chilly weather and my anxiety. But this time, I genuinely took my time and found so much more joy in the moment because of it. I think as humans we tend to rush things, always thinking we have somewhere to be, some destination- but there is so much beauty to be found in taking your time and enjoying the journey. I took off my crocs and dipped my feet into the river that runs through the preserve. I let the sun warm my head and my shoulders, took off my flannel and let myself just be.

A lot of times, when I'm anxious, I'm just borrowing grief from the future. I'm expecting a certain outcome and mourning before it even occurs. Realizing that helps me snap out of it a lot of the time, to remember that there's so much that can and will happen, but the only thing I have control over is the present moment. Then once I ground, tell myself I'm here, I'm safe, I'm present, I can think more clearly.

Then, instead of asking myself what could happen, I ask myself what I want to happen, and how I can get one step closer to that desired reality today.

As my partner puts it, you don't have to solve all your problems in one day.

#spilled thoughts #the morrigan #lilith #i love getting signs like this #nature #mother earth #witchcraft #corvids #crows #ravens #tales from a green witch

[fuck-customers]

I almost enjoy pissing off entitled karens/boomers/scammers. Tonight I had a couple sit in my section, ordered two beers and a snack. They were waiting for maybe 20 min max. Realized that I forgot to ring in the snack. My fault. Gave them the snack for free and a to go box to put it in. Wasn't 100% honest about why it took so long, but acknowledged that it was the my/the restaurant's fault. Mind you, we were slammed. As the closing server, I had them and MANY other groups to worry about. When they got the app, they asked for extra sauce. The dipping sauce used is really expensive to make, so we charge for extra. I didn't have time to find a manager to open food the item (we need a code to open food or liquor anything--super annoying). So I stupidly explained that it costs $2.50 extra to get more sauce. They suddenly got all pissed and bitched about how they waited an hour for the app (they didn't). Then they ended up stealing the ceramic ramekin that the sauce comes in. I really hope they leave a bad review. Fucking choosing beggar thieves. You got free food. Fuck off. I genuinely hope they never come back. I should've just kept the food for myself and just closed out their check when they asked lmao. (And admittedly it wasn't my finest customer service moment, but I'm not going above and beyond for a $20 check. Spending time trying to get maybe $5 max tip is losing me money. Why try to save $5 when i can focus on my bigger tab groups and get $40? smd that's how the restaurant industry works.) To see the looks on their faces when i wasn't getting on my knees and sucking their dicks for the $2 or $3 they would've left me was great. Sorry this is long (and i'm most definitely in the wrong here), but I'm really starting to not care about making sure every guest leaves happy. This isn't fucking disney land. You're drinking beer out of a plastic cup, sitting in chairs that are practically falling apart. I'm over it.

[aching-tummies]

RP-Ask Starter

I'm in the mood for something sadistic (again). So...here's a snippet-starter. If you're a sadistic-partner type, please respond with an RP-ask or a quote for an RP-lite where you continue this scenario with me.

I've managed to avoid you for the whole night.

It's one of those days where you got off work earlier than me. You were done around 2PM and I was closing tonight, off at 8PM. I told you not to wait up, that I wouldn't need dinner tonight and I'd figure out food myself.

Honestly, I had planned for that to be a lie. My stomach's been feeling icky all day. I've been out since 8AM thanks to unreliable transit and me being a stickler for not being late to work. I grabbed a breakfast sandwich from one of the random fast-food chains in the area before my shift and honestly, I'm still feeling it more than 12 hours later. Maybe they used old grease or their English muffin or whatever was stale or their eggs were going bad or whatever. Whatever it was, that craptacular breakfast wasn't supposed to fill me up for long...but it's still in my system more than 12 hours after I polished it off.

All day, I've felt my stomach doing cartwheels inside of me. It's like the breakfast sandwich decided I'm a moon-bounce or something 'cuz that's how my guts feel right now. The damned sandwich refuses to be digested. Around 2PM I swear I felt my intestines returning some chunky slurry of gosh-knows-what to my duodenum. We all know that part of my anatomy is super sensitive. It felt so, so *nasty*. Imagine the most intense torrent of vomit you have ever experienced. That's what it felt like. It felt like my intestines projectiled upwards into my duodenum. I felt the mess bubbling, chundering around itself as the slurry quickly and forcefully pushed through a sphincter that wasn't designed to let things through that way.

That's how things have been all day. I've lost count of how many times I've felt a disturbing "squish" and torrent of slurry travelling with great velocity through my guts in all directions. Clearly, my guts don't feel like being a one-directional system today. It'd be alright if there was some order to the madness...but nope. Twice during my shift I swear I felt the slurry forcefully flood into my stomach-organ. I definitely felt my torso spasm and I could taste the nastiness at the back of my throat. I had a customer in front of me the first time and I managed to play it off and swallow back the grossness. My tummy was *not* happy about that. I ended up making some joke about it almost being my lunch-break when the customer heard my stomach burble after that stunt. I lied--my break happened about two hours before then and I didn't eat a dang thing during it. I spent my break in the washroom at another establishment, trying to quietly coax something to leave my system in any direction. Of course the one opportunity I had to actually tend to my guts was the one moment in the day that everything decided to pause. I spent the entirety of my 30 min break trying everything--rubs, squeezes, punches, chugging my waterbottle--no movement--NONE! And, of course, the second I got back to work it was like someone hit the "play" button. I felt a large torrent of sick drop like a brick through my guts. I legit feared I'd hear a 'splatter' after that. It was close...but the internal ping-pong resumed and the huge torrent ended up being broken up into tinier waves of slurry that took turns travelling in different directions in my guts.

By 8PM, I knew I had 20 minutes until the next bus would arrive to take me home. I ducked into a bathroom stall at a random establishment near the stop and tried again. I got movement--but all of it was concentrated inside--nowhere near either end to expell the horrors that had been plaguing me all day. My abdominals were shot to hell and beyond sore. They'd spent all day contracting involuntarily, trying to keep the slurry in-play...so I guess everything was exhausted. One good clench from anywhere would likely not meet any resistance...but my body was exhausted on all fronts.

The 50 minute bus ride was agony. I spent the whole time with my knees as high as I could get them, pressed tight to the seat-rest in front of me, keeping me curled up around my sore stomach. The weak back and forth churning continued throughout the whole trip. Other passengers definitely heard a stray grumble every once in a while when things were silent (i.e. when the bus was waiting at a light). A few gave me strange looks but I was far too exhausted to care. I spent the whole time with my arms sandwiched against my tummy, imagining that the little strength left in my arms was all that was holding my sickly guts steady. I felt every vibration of the bus and the asphalt go straight to my guts. Vibrations are fun...not when your guts have been quaking sickeningly for twelve hours.

By some miracle, I made it home without making a mess from either end. You'd ignored my messages telling you not to leave me anything and there was a medium portion of spaghetti waiting for me when I got home. You said it was what remained after you put some portions away for tomorrow, claiming that you've never been good at measuring dry pasta.

I ate it. I didn't want to hurt your feelings or waste the food. Besides, despite how sickly my guts have been all day, I know what has gone in there and it definitely wouldn't have been enough sustenance. If the sickness ever passes, I'll be ravenous. I slurpped down the spaghetti.

It's been about 20 minutes since we put the plates away. My stomach hasn't stopped churning. I'd hoped that the influx of good food would have settled my guts, but it's only made everything worse.

The pasta noodles feel like live worms in my guts. I feel like I swallowed a den of snakes. I can feel strands of noodles getting stuck between my stomach-organ and my duodenum--just hanging there between parts of my anatomy (like the feeling you get when stringy food gets caught on your braces or your back teeth and dangles down your esophagus...).

I've managed to avoid you all night, but I can tell you're growing suspicious. I can't help the fact that I've been moving gingerly and discreetly rubbing at my problematic tummy. It hurts. I feel sick. I want to throw up. I want this sickly game of pong to end but nothing I'm able to do to my own guts has managed to push things over one side or another. My sore abdominals are too sore and exhausted to contract enough for me to vomit. I can feel it. I'm too sore, my muscles too strained to muster up enough force to get anything to expel. On top of that, it's not like enough of the sickly mass of undigested food is gathered together in the right place to be expelled. The spaghetti has taken up residence in my stomach-organ--sitting densely as the sphincter remains tightly squeezed shut around a stubborn noodle. The sickly slurry that was once a breakfast sandwich has been passing back and forth throughout my intestines. Thanks to the spaghetti, it hasn't ventured back up into the stomach (yet/) but I can feel the acid slurry licking and burning at my duodenum.

I'm wary of you. If you became aware of the trouble brewing within me, you'd take matters into your own hands--literally. You'd likely squeeze my abused guts, treating them roughly, keeping up the game of pong for your own entertainment indefinitely. We've done it before. You've tortured my guts for hours, juggling bad food back and forth for hours on end, heedless to my mewls of discomfort and relishing it whenever you get me to the point of heaving without the relief of actually expelling anything. Maybe even worse: you'd do nothing. My guts are so sore and the twinges I feel from my guts are so weak that I know for a fact that nothing is going to expel without some outside force being applied. Nothing will move inside of me unless something outside applies enough pressure in the right places to coax it to move toward either end. If you were in a particular type of mood, you'd clue into my stomach troubles and you'd set things up so that neither of us gets to touch my volatile tummy. You'd bind my hands above my head, denying me even the small relief my own exhausted arms can bring. You'd either tie up or sit on my legs to prevent me from curling up and trying to reduce the strain on my abdominals. You'd sit there and just observe--no touching--no helping. Or worse...you'd get all science-y and start probing. As sensual as navel sessions are, I'm really not keen on the idea of having a hard object prodding into my bloated up intestines and stirring up the acidic concoction within. If we're not careful, you might perforate something and I'm pretty sure the acidic slurry has a low enough pH to do some real damage. My duodenum is on fire already after repeated exposure to the once-chunky mess.

I'm on the couch now. I've been here for the last little while, craddling my sickly tummy. I'm hoping I can sneak off to my bedroom and spend all night in my en-suite...praying I can expel the sick quietly. Almost there. If I go to bed before you, you'll know something is up. I gotta wait for you. You shut off the television. It's late--especially for you. You stretch, a tell-tale sign you're gonna get up and bid me good-night.

GrrrrrBLbrrlbrrr.....rrrrr

Dread grips my heart like a vice when I see the change in your expression. There is no way you didn’t hear that. You're eyes widen and zero in on my midriff, hidden under a baggy hoodie. My stomach cramps sharply and I wince. There’s no way you missed that either.

What do you do?

#RP-starter #tummy kink #upset tummy #tummy ache #tummy ache kink #sickly tummy

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[onigiri-dorkk]

Yesterday was so damn fun. First off I want to say that my husband and I have had such a terrible few days after the car accident — it has been stressful making calls, filling out forms, etc all while knowing I quite literally almost died. (I finally saw a doc yesterday and she confirmed I am totally okay, and that I really just got lucky. Wow)

We knew we needed something to give us a sense of excitement and normalcy again. So yesterday, I busted out my Rivamika shirt, wore my Scouts jacket, threw on my red scarf, and gave my husband this fanfic prep presentation 😭 He was DYING laughing when I came out w the outfit!

I told him about my fanfic, and that there is info he needs to know and learn before reading my story. He was SO excited 😂 When I got to the part about Ackerman’s being Titan DNA experiments (which is not a spoiler to an anime-only; they just chose not to animate it for some reason?) he was pretty much mind blown. I even presented Isayama’s family tree and explained the entire history of Ackermans to Subjects of Ymir to Eldians to clarify that Levi and Mikasa are not closely related, they aren’t cousins, Mikasa’s dad is not linked to Kenny/grandpa, and emphasized the 145+ generations between the start of Ackermans and the final two: Mikasa and Levi.

Moving on! After the presentation part 1, I sent him the link to my story. Forgetting that AO3 is not a familiar platform to all, he ended up reading all the tags right up front and he gasped and said “SEXUAL TENSION?” 😂 I had fun explaining to him I took this story to a much more Mature storyline to make it more believable and movie-like. He was excited 😂

Then he read the summary!! And after he did he was like “OHHHHHHH so this is why you had to clarify that they’re not linked!” I said YESSSS

The next 20 mins of him reading my first chapter was a pain in the butt because I had to refrain from wanting to stare at his face/reactions 😭😂 But after he was done he had a huge smile on his face. Basically told me he loves it (and I was forcing him to be totally honest w me) and he said that he is so impressed with how it’s written. (He is reading a League of Legends novel right now and expressed that my style of writing is comparable… basically he said he didn’t expect it to be so well written 🥺). He said he’s hecka proud of me and can’t wait to read the rest. He also said that his favorite parts were their internal dialogues, and my descriptions — he said I am a romantic (in a good way) and that the romanticism comes out 😭 I said “is it too cheesy for you?” and he said no he LOVES it 😭

I asked him if he was shocked that I ship Levi and Mikasa, and he actually (to my surprise) said yes! Only because he knows that when I’m passionate about something, I talk about it — but this, he’s only maybe heard me mention something about it once in passing. I don’t totally know his full personal thoughts about the ship dynamic just yet, but this is where my Presentation Prt 2 comes in 😂 Where I give explanation to why exactly I ship Levi and Mikasa, their relationship dynamic, canon panels and scenes of them, their parallels!

I also asked for fun “did you kind of get that I don’t ship Mikasa with Eren” and he said “Oh, YEAH. I’ve always known you hated how he treats her and stuff” 😂 I said “right? Don’t you think Mikasa deserves better????” (He also said he caught on to this because of how much I ship Eren x Historia lolol so he figured I don’t love Eren x Mikasa)

He also said “now when we rewatch AoT especially season 4, I’m gonna see Levi and Mikasa as really close/he loves her” 😭

That was the much needed fun of yesterday. It feels so good to finally have him read something I worked so hard on. We’re very transparent w each other so I felt like this was a side of myself I’ve had to hide from him, which felt very unusual. But the fact that he gets to enjoy it alongside me now is so fun!!

He wants to read one chapter a day to savor it, read comments, etc. So now I’m like awaiting day 6 when he reads the initial ~spice-esque~ scene between Levi and Mikasa 😂 I don’t think he has ever read a line of smut before so we will see what he thinks Day 15 LOOOL. I think he’ll be shocked but I think he’ll enjoy it 😂

Anyway, just wanted to share the experience with y’all LOLOLOL maybe I’ll write a series of his reactions to the chapters/story. New hashtag? #onigirihusband ?? 😂

#personal #onigirihusband #rivamika #levimika #levi x mikasa #mikasa x levi #levimikasa #onigiriwrites

[matteblacklips]

august update ii

Disclaimer: I would like to begin this email thread by saying if you didn’t want to receive emails from me you shouldn’t have given me your email to begin with.

Joke of the chain: Hear about the new restaurant called Karma....There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. Trip to NYC: New York was not what I expected. Of course it smelled & there were a lot of rats but I actually really loved it there. Huge fan of Kelvin being down af to do anything and a bigger fan of Stevin and Mina. I can’t wait until October 7th to see Jack Harlow there and have a weekend with 7. I found the coolest decorations for my new apartment and I just need frames for them now, and I got a special edition Spider-Man comic. Kelvin and I spent some quality time together this weekend and if he doesn’t hate me after spending four hours with me both ways, it’s safe to say Kelvin is never getting sick of me. The bar we went to was called The Vig Bar and walking there for 20 mins was almost worth losing a toe..the drinks were disgustingly strong.

Shefali Roast: Fiona asked me if she should go see Ewan McGregor this weekend, and little ole me confused Obi Wan with that boxer/wrestler/fighter from Ireland. I'm totally blanking on names and I can't tell if it's because I'm getting old or if my brain is fried from all the boozing I've been doing.

Kelli Talk : Everyone please pray for our queen Kelli who is now living with three boys until after Labor Day weekend. Being a physical touch girlie, I made her hold my hand today...let me know why neither of us have any f'n circulation? Boy update: Everyone welcome Alex to the chain. He is extremely excited to read the tea. Also; I left my purse at his apartment after my sneaky link & I swear I’ve never felt like more of an idiot considering not even 24 hours before that, I left my purse in Kelvin’s car after he dropped me off. Thank you, T, for driving/making me drive to go get it. I’m never doing that again.

TV Provider Update: HBOMax currently has the best selection of new shows and movies. Will keep you updated considering it changes every few weeks after they took down the Dark Knight Rises, I’ve never been Pro-HBO but they brought back some classics.

Pop culture Update: Jeanette Mcurdy (is that how you spell her name¿ I definitely messed that up) released a book and she basically talked about how much she resented Ariana Grande to the point where she heard a song of hers play on the radio and she started bawling her eyes out. Not Ariana’s fault obviously but Nickelodeon basically forced her to turn down movie roles because of her Sam and Cat contract but would let Ariana miss weeks of work for singing. It’s really sad when you think about it.

November/December plans: I was thinking of getting tickets to go see Celtics/Bulls game in November at TD Garden and I’m 90% down to send it but no one ask to go with me unless you’ll drop the $400 now. You already know I’m so petty that I’ll go by myself and watch the Bulls lose. I’m also down for the Celtics/Heat game in December, but I don’t have a grudge against the Heat. Serious inquiries only.

Amendment: I actually went to buy the tickets but I couldn't find my debit card so now I'm impulsive AND upset. Will try again tomorrow.

Catherine Update: 

Friend update: 7 is sick, Thomas and X are probably fine. Kiersten is headed to the cape this week. Anthony and X might live together. X is still so sexy. Kelvin listened to 2 hours of Taylor Swift with me this weekend. Mina has my glycolic acid toner and probably will never use it (I recommend that he does). Kelli is living with her boyfriend. Catherine might go see Alesso tmr. Fiona quit her job (congratulate her). Lynn saw The Weeknd in Dallas, she’s also a reels girlie. Tyler now has an apartment in Chicago and has a blanket and his couch ready for me. Mina Shehata is doing well, I miss him dearly, does anyone remember the first email I sent out (the one with the Holiday Muffin recipe), I’m still so touched that he chose to use that recipe and made it to top two in his baking competition. 

Anniversary : Happy Three Years, Pat and Sierra!

Song on repeat: Butter by BTS but the Meg Thee Stallion remix. Listen to it, you will not regret it. 

Availability this week: High chance of 7 and I going to dinner with Thomas and X this Friday, also high chance of us being on a boat. Kiersten is free this week so assume that the girls are raging this weekend (Saturday) Everyone is welcome to come. I can send a follow up email about location/where we go. Wednesday & Thursday are looking like I’m going home (considering I haven’t been home since last Tuesday) and I’m pretty sure my dad misses me. I work remote on Friday and that means I’m either taking the early morning bus in OR driving into the city after my 4:30 call OR I may not be allowed to leave my house..stay tuned.

Best, 

Shefali Patel

Follow up questions:

Do I have a loud voice? I was with a man and he said I did and I'm not gonna lie...that shit hurt my feelings so bad I almost shut up for the rest of the night.

What's worse, homewrecker or homie-hopper? Like from the perspective of the person being homewrecked and the homie that got hopped on. I personally say homie-hopper because imagine your best friend fucked your boyfriend/girlfriend.. that's fucked...could never be me...ever.

Keep in mind you would be responding to the chain so don’t blow my spot if you can help it. I would really appreciate keeping my dignity if I could.

What to expect: weekly to biweekly emails regarding things that matter to me including but not limited to bad jokes, an update on plans, current events, and my personal favorite new recipes and places to check out!

#shefalipatel_ on ig

[sadorwhatever]

Last night we fought because I asked him to take the dog out and he put it off for 6 entire hours. I asked him to do it because I had a migraine so bad I couldn’t get up without nausea. Normally I take care of the dog entirely. Feeding her, washing her, grooming her, all me. Situations like this remind me why.

It’s so cold where we live, he kept saying he’d do it when it got warmer or the weather let up but that’s just not going to happen where we live. Eventually at the 6 hour mark I asked again if he could do it, he asked if he could wait until after he ate. We had just ordered food which wouldn’t show up for 20 more mins. At this point the dog hadn’t gone out for like 15 hours. I said I’d do it and it was then that he got angry with me and said he do it in a few minutes (which I’ve heard so many times and usually means he’s not going to do it). I didn’t believe him and started to get up, but he shut me down and his voice got dark and he said “I’ll just do it now.”

He then did it and we had a talk where he said I was mean to him and the way I treated him made him sad. Like what the fuck. This morning my migraine was better and I took her out (in colder weather than it was last night). I hate him a lot of the time these days.

When I point out how little he does, he says he feeds us, gets groceries, and takes us to work. But to be honest if he wasn’t here I could handle all of those things myself. If I wasn’t here I don’t believe he’d do laundry, throw out trash, do dishes, care for the dog, make the bed, organize, or even charge his own damn controllers. Can’t even brush his own hair. I feel like a fucking maid.

[power-of-glitter]

My wrath knows no limits.

and I'm so happy that I snapped out of it when I did.

Anybody who knows me. and I mean really knows me. know that that is exactly what I am applicable of. There's a reason why I'm telling you this. let me explain further.

On Wednesday that just passed, I was very tired from working 2 jobs. (bear with me here I know I like to practically brag that I work 2 full-time jobs I know, I know we all get it moving on!) Well, that day I was more tired than ever. At the company where I work, we have something called "wellness rooms". Now for those of you who don't know what wellness rooms are, it's a multi-purpose where anybody can use for almost anything.

Most of us use it for sleeping. Yes, that's right. we have cots and we can sleep in the workplace. We all have it good here. We get free food, unlimited coffee, tea, gym, showers, and last but not least laundry mats. You can almost live here if you'd like. But I'm not a hoebow so I think I'll pass on this.

So I was using one of these cots to nap for about 5ish hours in between jobs. when I gathered all my stuff and try to move on to the next job I walked outside only to find a white and pastel pink/purple bike but my car was gone. At 1st I was thinking that I lost my mind. There was a history that I use to park my car in a different part of the parking lot and forget about it. I use to wig out and proclaim that someBODY stole my car. Then roughly about 8 mins later I was standing there looking stupid. I always told myself never again.

so this was that "never again" I made sure that I wasn't trippin' and made sure that my car was not here. It wasn't, so I had the go-ahead to freak the heck out! I threw my stuff on the floor and ran back to the security office to get to the bottom of all of this. and yep sure enough someone little guy about the size of a 10-year-old took my car. This little dude rode up in a white pink and purple bike and upgraded to my car.

yeah, the fuck with that kid. After I was done losing my shit. I remembered I had placed an air tag in it that was well hidden in the crevices of my shit box car. I mean it was a 96 Civic and it looked like I had drugs or a dead hooker in the truck. I mean let's be real for a hot second.

Felipe and I took one look at my find my phone app and he said wanna go con front of him? I said HELL YASssss! Let go! So we road around and still couldn't find my car or the guy and we thought he had an iPhone and found out there was an air tag somewhere in the car and threw it out. Only we couldn't find it.

Finding out the hard way air tags are not that reliable. So I had no choice but to call the cops. They came pretty quickly but considering the area that I've been in they don't play. The cops were really nice and took all my information down. They drove off. One of them said I think I know where it might be after giving them the last location of my air tag. then drive off.

They even took the bike! I really wanted to keep it because it kinda looked nice but I'm sure what looked like a 10-year-old took it from someone else. But the PD took it away.

Felipe and I took another go-a-head around the neighborhood thinking we would find it. About 20 minutes in, I got a phone call saying that the cops found it! HA! THEY FOUND IT! We were both so excited we headed there ASAP. We were told to meet at a storage place.

As we were driving up to the place guess who I saw strolling down the street? Yup! You guessed it! That son of a bitch who STOLE MY CAR!!!!!! The only thing that changed was that he took off his flannel shirt and placed on bigger sweatpants. Overall, he was still wearing the same thing.

So I did what everyone else would do took a deep breath approached him and kindly asked him for my car back....hahahhahaha yeah I did none of that. What I did was jump outta the car and tell Felipe to call the cops and I confronted him.

The 1st thing I noticed is that he was not a 10-year-old He was like a 28-year-old short dude that looked like he stole his wardrobe from his cholo dad. That's what he looked like! A grown little dude who still shopped at Baby Gap. And you think that stopped you from confronting him? Absolute not! I am 3 times his size about 3 times his weight and I was fixing to beat his ass 3xs more than anybody ever did.

I said you SOB you took my car!!! Gimme back my car! He wanted to take off to the back alley but we both knew that wasn't going to happen. This not so 10 yr old little dude had a big o machete and he was ready to swing at me.

But my trusty bestie was recording the whole time. So he stopped and thought about what he was going to do next. It also didn't help me out that I was screaming at him like a ranging Karen saying DO IT AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS!

Finally, after all of that, the cops finally came and joined the party. Boy did that take what seemed like forever! No, I wasn't really angry over that. Oh no no no no! Life is not that simple. Not only did the cops let him go. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you the COPS LET EM' GOOO! Apparently, If I want to commit a crime in CA. all I need to do is change clothes and say it wasn't me.

But what really set me off into a rage. Is not the fact that the cops let him go. It was the fact that he gave me that studio date rape look and said I didn't even want the car anyways. Loud enough for me to hear it and not the cops. TF! Is wrong with this guy?!? I lost it!

I flat-out ran up to him and told him in Spanish. (yes I don't know if you know this I can speak Spanish) You better hope that I don't catch you here again. I will come back when you least expect it and BURN your fucking hut with your rat-looking dogs and your whore in with you.

I think I spooked him because we both knew that I was very serious. He ended up running away. back into the very creepy, very empty, tall grass field. I was still trying to figure out who can I borrow a gas can from. Thank god for my BFF, Smurf. She talked me down from committing not only arson but murder too. Thank God for the best friends. Ohhhh how my life is just Littered N Glitter

#dear gentle readers #wrath #comdey

[eazy-group]

Tashia lost 69 pounds

New Post has been published on https://eazydiet.net/tashia-lost-69-pounds/

Tashia lost 69 pounds

Transformation of the Day: Tashia lost 69 pounds. Her journey began when she had several serious health scares related to high blood pressure, anxiety, PTSD from an abusive relationship, and agoraphobia. She put in the work by focusing on her mental health, improving her eating habits, and working out at home.

Social Media: Instagram, Snapchat, & Tiktok: @Shiatrubeauty94

What was your motivation? What inspired you to keep going, even when you wanted to give up? Honestly, I wanted to have a future and live and be around my family. My mom, family, and friends are what inspired me. I guess you can also say I inspired myself, as weird as it may sound, because I usually never give myself enough credit for anything that I do. So now I’m giving myself credit and loving myself more.

How did you change your eating habits? To be honest, when I tried to work out and lose weight, I could never really lose it. Then, on March 31, 2023, I was in my bathroom, and suddenly, I had this rush feeling, and my heart started beating so fast (like I was scared about something, but I wasn’t scared of anything at the time). 

So I called 911 and took a Bayer aspirin. They came and said my heart was good, but my blood pressure was 225/118. I asked them to take me to the hospital. They checked me out and sent me home. A week later, it happened again in the middle of the mall. I returned to the hospital, and they said my heart was good and my blood was high again. They sent me home, and stayed with my mother for almost a month.

I stopped eating because I was scared to eat. I was going through a lot. I had cut out all junk food, restaurant food, sodas…I cut out all of it at once. I think that was dangerous, but I was scared. Eventually, I started eating again and realized I lost 20 pounds.

One day I was visiting, and I had to have my brother stay with me to help. I went to the hospital again for the same symptoms, and everything was fine. However, my primary doctor gave me high blood pressure meds. She said she thinks all this results from anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and agoraphobia. Also, I had a really bad case of vertigo.

So I started praying more and attending my church services on Sunday online. Eventually, I started researching what I can eat and what to avoid. That has helped.

I lost a little of my balance, but I got it back. Now I’m talking to a therapist to help me learn more about mental illness and what to do to help with it. The reason I have those illnesses is that in 2019, I was shot by my ex-boyfriend in my left leg. I was with him for six years, and there was a lot of mental and verbal abuse. In the end, it got physical. He was playing with a gun, it went off, and I got shot.

Currently, I eat a lot of fresh fruit and veggies. I cook my own food using avocado oil, and bake or air fry my food as well. 

What is your workout routine? I started doing a walking routine at home for 20-30 mins and a standing exercise routine for about the same amount of time.

How often did you work out? Every other day 

What was your starting weight?  My starting weight was 367 pounds.

What is your current weight? My current weight is 298 pounds.

What is your height? 5’8″

When did you start your journey?   Been on this journey for years, but March 2023 is when this part of my journey started.

Is weight loss surgery part of your journey?  No, it wasn’t.

What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far? I learned to love myself more, put myself first, and that God has my back. 

What advice do you have for women who want to lose weight?  Do it for yourself and love yourself. Don’t let anyone or any situation change your natural you.

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[cru1sec0nt0l]

What Life's Been Like Recently (Year 1)

The last 10 months have been a bit of a whirlwind. It's only now that I'm being forced to pause and really reflect.

I think for a little while I fell out of love with my job. I think the best way I can explain it is a bit like the phases of a failed relationship in Strangers Again by Wong Fu. The stages are as follows:

Stage 1 Meeting – First time you saw each other Stage 2 Chase – Getting to know each other Stage 3 Honeymoon – In relationship where you can do anything you want as a couple, everything feels amazing. Stage 4 Comfortable – Comfort you feel when you're together Stage 5 Tolerance – Excuses make to make distance Stage 6 Downhill -the effort to try to make things wok Stage 7 Breaking up – Better to end it all.

I think the first few months were stages 1 and 2. Getting back into the groove of practicing, evaluating, and treating patients. Getting up to speed with trying to treat 2 patients at once, while still trying to complete documentation and not sacrificing quality of care. Constantly showing up an hour and a half early or staying late to finish documentation. Trying not to beat myself up over being slow - which, as everyone put it, is a product of being a new physical therapist.

After those initial months, I think I hit a bit of a sweet spot (stage 3) with my treatment flows, was able to initiate conversations about mentorship and start the group, and started feeling more at ease with being a practicing clinician. However, I was still putting in the crazy hours, and the documentation just never seemed to let up. I tried to justify it to myself, saying it was okay since I didn't have an SO or family to take care of after work. But eventually, I stopped taking care of myself. Stopped working out. Stopped eating healthily. Sleep quality was shit. The candle was being burnt at both ends.

That's when I speed ran into stages 5 and 6 - feeling very much burnt out. Physically and emotionally. I think at that point I also had a large volume of patients with higher emotional needs as part of their rehab process. Those patients can be challenging because they require you to give a lot in order for them to feel adequately supported. Retrospectively, I think the challenging part was not knowing if those patients were going to get better, due to my lack of experience. Externally, the patient would question their rate of recovery. I could only try to reassure them that it was part of the process. Internally, I'd question myself as far as why those particular patients were struggling. I'd ask other therapists, who'd simply say those patients needed more time. My own lack of certainty made it harder for me to provide certainty to those patients who crave it, which in turn only feeds their anxiety about the process. Ultimately, seeing those patients come through and doing very well was incredibly beneficial for me. It gave me positive reinforcement that the book knowledge does translate, but sometimes the payoff takes a while. It definitely helped me to feel like less of a fraud when providing guidance to patients later on.

During this time I think I was also struggling with a lack of renewal, professionally and personally. I think the mentorship began to provide that outlet, professionally. But it was only once I decided to stop documentation off work hours, that I began to experience a shift in the level of burnout I was feeling. I made it a priority to work out (run 20 min a day, 5 days a week, and lift 2-3x per week), which made a massive difference to my mental and emotional health. I also took on several cases which reinvigorated me as they required me to use skillsets that had been dormant since before PT school. Getting to program higher level exercise and sports related movements was so enjoyable. Working with high school, collegiate, and recreational athletes across different sports provided so many avenues for creativity in treatment that I began to feel the fun in my job again.

At this point (over the last 2 months), I had picked up so much positive traction in my life. I was the healthiest I'd been since working as a personal trainer before grad school. I was enjoying my job and my personal life on the weekends. I even went on a date for the first time in 2 years. Mentorship had been going well, if sporadically, and I was in the midst of applying for residency programs. I was financially in a good place. In fact I had hit my financial goals for my first year of employment and was starting to plan how I was going to start paying off a good chunk of my student loans before the shit hit the fan again.

Cue Complete Achilles Tendon Rupture.

Fuck.

In the two weeks since it's happened, I've experienced a range of emotions. From the initial pseudo-determination/quasi-denial immediately after the injury, to the shock and mild dejection after seeing how much this was going to cost me (both in lost income due to temporary disability and surgical/rehab expenses). So far things have gone well, but I'm also nervous. Am I going to be the same athlete in the long term? Can I get close? I know what the rehab theory is, but the questions still linger.

Some of the things my patients said after finding out about my injury also stick with me. Most have been lovely. But a few managed to find a knife and twist it.

"Oh man, well you've lost all credibility now".

To be fair, this was said in jest, but it is a fear in the back of my head. My style of treatment to this point has been very involved and demonstrative. How do I continue to be as effective when that's no longer an option? It's going to take me 3 months to be able to do a single calf raise. I'm going to be extremely limited physically, so it's going to require me to a much more effective verbal communicator. While I think I'll be better for it in the long run, the force growth process makes me a bit apprehensive.

"What's going on here? I hope you're getting me a new physical therapist."

This is the one that bugs me. Not one question about how I was doing. Also completely, disregarding the fact that I was present in the clinic trying to introduce him to his new therapist the day after tearing my Achilles while in a cast and crutches. I even worked the next day on a torn Achilles (did a lot of sitting) because I wanted to smooth transitions for my patients before my surgery. I care so damn much about my patients and the quality of care I provide. But it's a good reminder that a good chunk of them don't view you as a human. More as an ends to a means. With those patients, dispassionate objective care is more appropriate. Otherwise, you'll start burning yourself out again.

Ultimately, this Achilles tear is just another obstacle to navigate. After the family losing everything in high school, Dad committing suicide in college, and grinding 3 gigs to get into grad school and graduate in my mid-late 20s, I feel like all I've known is the grind. Aside from those years between undergrad and grad school, I haven't really been able to thrive. I just keep trying to float and take small steps towards goals that continue to drift away (financial security, finding a girlfriend, having a family, owning a house). Middle school me would've felt very in tune with all this, equating it to the struggle for victory in the hip hop songs I used to listen to pre-game. But struggling for this long is wearing on me. It raises questions I don't have answers for. Part of me is still seeking validation for the decisions I've made. I don't know how to validate the struggle when it keeps dragging on. But like most other things in my life, only time can tell.

[talietikasero]

as if my night couldn't get any worse

so today i had an exam in my econ class. i walked in 20 mins later but my professor actually cares about his students so i wasn't in trouble or anything. i didn't study because my inability to focus and, well, y'know, study obviously affected it, but it was open everything and i googled some of the answers. 630pm rolls around and i knew for a fact i wasn't going to finish in time, yet i answered like 95% of the test. there were two of four short answer questions i didn't complete but i at least tried them. maybe he'll be nice again and give me some credit for at least trying

to cheer myself up because i felt like shit on the drive home, i got a smoothie from the local smoothie shop before i returned home. i should've bought another because the first thing my mom does when i get up to my room is berate me for forgetting to do something. my room is constantly a mess for reasons below ⬇️

i am never home because i work full time, go to school full time, and when i am home, i'm tired as all fucking shit. i am an insomniac so i stay up until like 3 or 4am california time and have to wake up by 10am at the latest if i want to avoid jumping into the shower and leaving as soon as i'm done to catch the bus to work. i fucking hate my job but i'm bearing through it because i'm aiming to get out by summer -- at least that's when i'd graduate and my car's paid off

my bitch ass mom has the fucking nerve to call me an idiot to my face because she fucking overreacts to the smallest things. i didn't show anything (my facial expression was blank and i stared off to the side to avoid eye contact) and she just had to go as far as mockingly ask "did i hurt your feelings?" no fucking shit bitch!! i remained silent because i knew i was going to say the wrong thing, she raised her voice even louder, and i don't know if it's a good or bad thing that i'm unfazed by whatever she can throw at me. my habit of biting my nails is a good thing because i scratch and apply pressure to the rest of my left hand with my thumbnail whenever i'm annoyed. if i did have a nail, i'm sure my hand would be covered in open cuts and bleeding by now :/

she told me to pack my stuff and get out, to which i just closed the door and stood there in silence. my stepdad woke up and took over so it wouldn't end up with me out on the street at like 10pm. i do appreciate he's at least trying to act as a neutral mediator but he didn't completely fix things

#i am clearly okay and nothing is wrong #<- the biggest fucking lie of the month