#one of these days I really am gonna have to admit that I’m fundamentally a people pleaser | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

absurdthirst · 2 years

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Sugar, Sugar {Marcus Pike x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: Sugar daddy, mentions of sex for money, asshole landlord, flirting, first time meetings, oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected sex, vaginal sex, Marcus being Marcus. Teasing use of the term daddy but it does not stick.

Comments: Tired of being alone, Marcus gets talked into signing up for a Sugar Daddy website in order to find some companionship. You are the one he chooses and it sparks a fun, flirty time for both of you.

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

A/N: Okay, so I know that there is another sugar daddy Marcus Pike fic that has been posted recently. @whataperfectwasteoftime ‘s Lavish, you need to read it. I have been sitting on this story since November and when I saw that her fic had come out, I ran over to make sure no toes were stepped on.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

Even with his Midwest optimism, Marcus Pike had really started to wonder if the problem was him. Was it his taste in women or something in the fundamental fabric of his being? Or was he just an unlucky son of a bitch when it came to love?

All he wanted was a partnership, not the kind that was assigned with the bureau, but the kind built on affection and interest. Someone who would put their phone down and give him their eyes as he asks about their day. He wasn’t selfish, he didn’t want someone catering to him and listening to him all the time. He wanted to nurture and soothe and reassure as much as he hoped to get back.

“You know what you should do?” Leaning on his elbows, belly up to the loud, crowded bar, he turns towards Mike Stephens when the other man speaks. One of his team members and honestly the one closest to him since he’s transferred to D.C. He’d known him at the academy, but was happy with the development of having a friend here.

Beer and nachos in front of both men for happy hour forgotten, game playing on the tv behind the bar ignored. “What’s that?” A small smile plays on his lips. This should be good. Stephens was a serial dater, never finding someone for longer than a few weeks before something shiner caught his eye.

“You should sign up for this sugar daddy site I’m on.” Mike tells him with a grin, picking up his phone from the bar and opening an app. “It’s great!”

Marcus immediately shakes his head, “no. No. That’s not my kind of thing.” He says and Mike chuckles.

“That’s what I thought too but man, these girls are different. They want someone to take care of them and they are grateful for your care. They will do anything…anything.” Mike smirks and Marcus frowns.

“I’m not looking for sex. Well…I am but I want a companion. I want someone who wants me to look after them.” He confesses.

“Well just think about it. They have some beautiful girls on here” Mike says and texts him the link. Marcus nods and resumes drinking his beer, his phone buzzing in his pocket.

****

You return home, leaning against the elevator wall as you close your eyes. Work was exhausting. A long day for hardly any money. You’re gonna struggle to pay your rent this month in this building. You can’t ask your parents. They told you to never come to D.C and work in government but you wanted to help people make their lives better. You step out of the elevator and make your way down the hall, eyes widening a little at the sight of your handsome neighbor. He’d introduced himself when he moved in as Marcus and you think he’s so cute. Him blushing when he brushes you in the hallway by accident.

He’s adorable and you admit you have a little crush on him. He’s not gonna save you though. He lives in the same building as you so clearly he’s not loaded. You need someone who can help you, hence why you signed up on that damn site. The one your friend suggested while displaying her new Dior purse. You had scoffed at her and said no but when you returned to your run down apartment, you opened the site and ultimately signed up. No responses so far. Just creeps wanting nudes. “Hey Marcus” You greet your neighbor and he turns around after opening his door.

“Hey neighbor.” He gives you a friendly smile and he immediately notices how tired you are. “Long day at work?” He asks sympathetically.

“When don’t you have a long day in D.C?” You ask him and he’s struck by how true that is.

“Yeah, that’s true.” He ignores his immediate idea to offer for you to come over and have a glass of wine. While you were neighbors, you hadn’t done more than chat with him in the halls.

You smile at him, "have a good night" and he responds with the same words before you enter your apartment. It's small and you don't have a lot but it's home. You sigh, opening your fridge to find the leftovers from dinner last night and dig into them, starving from the long day. You don't even think about that app. Too busy worrying about the bills that are due and you turn on the TV, giving yourself one night off from worrying.

Living alone, being alone sucked for so many different reasons. Ordering take out for one always depressed him. Huffing, he walks over to the fridge. “Just make yourself a sandwich. You had nachos.” He grumbles to himself, wondering what you are doing tonight. Mike’s words keep filtering through his mind and he sighs, deciding it won’t hurt to check out the app.

Marcus sits down on the sofa and opens the app, fumbling through setting up an account. He types out a quick description of himself and what he’s looking for. Asking for companionship and someone to look after. He hopes he doesn’t sound too seedy. He then scrolls through the profiles. Too many of them are clearly looking for a rich man to buy them clothes. None of them really mention necessary things like bills or dinner and most just want money with little to no companionship. He sighs, continuing to scroll.

****

You frown when you hear your phone ding. Wondering what alert that is for and your eyes widen when you see the notification.

‘Someone likes your profile. Swipe to chat!’ The message says and you bite your lip, wondering what you should do.

Marcus bites his lip as he waits to see if the person will respond. Their profile, after forever searching, seems to be the most promising. She had been honest, willing to trade time and companionship for money. Said that she wasn’t willing to sleep with anyone until much later, if it came naturally. That was refreshing, he didn’t like the idea of basically buying favors.

You read over his profile, loving the fact that he doesn’t seem seedy. Usually, the sugar daddies ask for sexual favors in return for the money and, while you respect sex workers, that path isn’t for you. You smile as you read his description, basic but he is younger than most on this app. You like that he wants companionship. You decide to message him. Contemplating for a bit about what you want to put. “Hey” You type, “how are you?”

Marcus grins when the phone digs, honestly surprised that she answered. “Hey.” He pauses. “Honestly? It’s been a day but I’ve had a nice surprise now.” He sends it and then adds. “How are you?” He hopes that it’s not too much or not enough. But it’s not like he wants to just jump into things. He likes the soft approach.

You shift back to settle into your sofa cushions, a small smile on your face. “Same here. Been a busy day. So…what brings you to the app?” You ask via message, getting straight to it.

Marcus rolls his eyes at himself. “I’m what I’m sure every woman wants to hear, loneliness and desperation.” He adds a laughing emoji. “I have been unlucky in finding someone who wants what I want.”

You smile, already liking the way he messages. He seems sweet and not like a seedy old man. You bite your lip as you type back, “I’m sorry to hear that. You seem like a nice guy. Some women just don’t know what they have when they have it 🙄” You type.

It could be a line, but he likes that you would offer the eye roll for him. “What about you?” He asks. “What drove you to sign up for a sight that seems to be geared towards dirty old men?” He hopes you don’t find it offensive. “What’s your story?”

You snort at his message before replying with “it is mainly dirty old men who want to throw money at young women in exchange for sexual favors but I genuinely need help. I am so behind on bills and no matter how much I work, I can’t catch up. I can’t ask my parents. I need help but I’m not a charity case. I want to offer something in return…just not sex. I am not that kind of woman. I see sex as an emotional connection. Not a transaction.”

“Completely agree.” He immediately sends that message before he decides to add on to it. “It’s actually why I decided to message you. I like that. Don’t get me wrong, sex is great, but I don’t want to buy physical affection.” He bites his lip and decides to go for it. “How much do you need right now to get you out of the bind you are in?”

You read his message and sigh. Even though you signed up on the site, you feel guilty about taking someone’s money. “To get my bills paid up and some groceries would probably be $2000. I owe rent and I haven’t had a proper meal for a week now. I’ve stretched everything in my pantry as much as possible” You admit, “you don’t have to send me anything now, I’ll manage. I’m sure you’d rather meet first to see if you even like me.”

Marcus’ eyebrows shoot up. There is a strong possibility that all of this is a sob story, but there is something that tells him it’s not. Someone who was trying to scam would never say that they could manage. It’s the people who are embarrassed about these circumstances that try to play it off. Rent and food are basic necessities. He bites his lip and decides to take a risk. It wasn’t like his bank account couldn’t take the hit, he lives below his means and had been saving. He looks at the profile again but there is no Venmo or PayPal attached. “What is your payment info? 🤔” He sends back.

You bite your lip, hesitating but then you remember the landlord demanding payment and you type back, “I have Zelle.” You tell him and text your phone number. You pray this isn’t a mistake. “Please don’t send it without thinking about it first.” You quickly type, not wanting him to regret it.

Zelle was even better, able to use it through his mobile banking app. He opens it up and quickly adds the number. The name it’s under he decides to name ‘Baby’ instead of sugar baby. He takes a deep breath and authorizes the payment for $2000. As soon as he sends it, he types a message in the app. “Thought about it. Everyone needs a roof and food in the fridge.”

You see the notification on your phone and your eyes widen. “Sugar Daddy - $2000.” You gulp, unable to believe that he just sent that to you. You see his message and immediately type back. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I- I am so grateful. Do you…do you want me to call you daddy?” You type, wondering how he wants you to address him.

Marcus cringes at that and shakes his head. While he may be daddy as in the father of - material, he’s never particularly gotten off to the daddy thing. Plus it would make him feel dirty about all of this. “No, please don’t.” He types out. “Just call me Marc?” It’s something his family calls him anyway. “If you are comfortable with it, of course. What would you like me to call you?”

“Marc” You murmur to yourself, preferring that to daddy. “You can call me Bee” You type back. Your parents always called you honeybee because you were always busy and buzzing around doing something. You feel relieved, unable to believe that you can sleep tonight without worrying about paying your bills in the morning. You lean back into the cushions and smile. “Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Marcus grins and leans back, the tv forgotten in the background as he types on his phone. He’s happy to have helped. “🐝 I know that it’s always a good thing to be able to rest easy. So now that you can, what do you plan on doing for the rest of your night?”

You smile, "well I might have a long hot shower." You type back. You feel the tenseness escape your body as you realize you won't have to struggle this month. "What about you? Hot date?" You tease as you text back.

Marcus chuckles and reaches for the sandwich he had made to take a bite of it before he replies. “Oh big date. Me and my sofa, a movie on tv.” He sends it to you before he adds. “Then a shower, bed and work tomorrow. So my night is all planned out 🙄”

You giggle, “sounds like a good night to me. I am so grateful for the money. I’m sure you’ll want to meet up?” You ask, biting your lip as you hit send. Maybe he’s not who he says he is. You would be disappointed by that but it’s his choice.

Marcus chews on his lip when he gets your message. The way that you phrased that bothers him. Like he expected you to meet with him because of him sending that money. In a way, technically he guessed that he had paid for - your time, but he wasn’t the type to demand someone spend time with him if they didn’t want to. “I’m good with getting to know you like this.” He promises. “I don’t want to push you into something that you are uncomfortable with.”

You shake your head. If he’s been generous enough to give you money, the least you can do is meet him. “I would like to meet you. We can keep messaging but…do you want my number?” You type out and hit send. You wonder if he wants to meet you. You hope he does so you can thank him in person.

Marcus smiles, not even mentioning that you had sent him your number when he had asked for your payment information. “How about this? I’ll give you my number and you can text me if you want?” He hits send and then adds his phone number to the message. This way it will be your decision to message him. He does like the idea of moving off the app, but whatever you are comfortable with.

You fluster at remembering you already sent your number but you want to talk to him off of the app. You copy and paste his number into your text and you text him a simple message: 🐝

He can’t even stop the way that his heart thumps when your message comes through. It’s silly and stupid but he likes that you trust him. “So Bee, what’s your favorite flower? 🌷” He bites his lip and hits send, his night infinitely better and he feels himself relaxing for the first time in a while.

You can’t stop smiling as you type back. After telling Marc your favorite flowers are daisies, you ask him about his favorite tv show. You giggle when he admits it’s Star Trek and you chuckle, typing back “you nerd.”

Marcus laughs out loud, not feeling like you are insulting him. “Guilty as charged 🤓” He is still chuckling. “At the same time, hot alien chicks to a young, hormonal boy was a life changing thing. Kind of like those vampire fantasizes a lot of girls have.”

You giggle, “true. I was team Edward as a teen 😳.” You respond back and fluster in embarrassment but you smile, unable to stop yourself. You like him already. He’s sweet and funny. Yes he just paid for your time technically but it doesn’t feel like that.

“Edward! 😒” Marcus rolls his eyes playfully, remembering his ex’s love of those books and movies. “Team Jacob! 🐺 Those wolves were awesome. Like the dire wolves in Game of Thrones.”

You snort, sending back another text asking him how he had watched twilight. “It was a good series 🤷‍♂️” He responds and you can’t stop grinning.

You spend the next hour texting back and forth about movies and tv shows before you check the time. “I gotta go to bed Marc. Early morning 😴” You send and you wish you didn’t have to go to bed.

“Shit.” He hisses to himself and looks at the time. Unable to believe that he had spent so much time talking to you. It was probably the best, most relaxing conversation he has had in months. “Sorry I didn’t realize how late it was. Sweet dreams 🐝.” He hits send and turns off the tv so he can go to bed himself.

****

You are woken up by a banging on your front door. You frown, stumbling through your apartment and you swing the door open to meet the pissed off face of your landlord. “Good morning to you” You huff.

“Morning” He offers you a forced smile, “rent?” He asks and you nod.

“I have it” You promise.

“Now? I cannot wait another month” He shakes his head and you reach out for your phone.

“I have it. I can send it to you now” You tell him, opening your banking app and you transfer him your rent. His phone dings and you raise your eyebrows at him as the door behind him opens to reveal your neighbor.

“Is there a problem?” Marcus demands, dressed in his suit pants and his undershirt, gun in hand. He had heard the commotion from his own place and had rushed out as fast as he could. The fact that it was the landlord only made him relax slightly, not caring for the man at all, but the man had been exceedingly polite when he found out Marcus is an FBI agent.

Your eyes widen at the sight of your neighbor. You admire his arms as he shifts to hide the gun he had in his hand and your landlord notices it but doesn’t say anything. “Uh, yes, yes. She was just paying her overdue rent” He says as he turns back to you. “It better not be fucking late again otherwise you’re out. Since you won’t suck my cock, I expect my money” He says and you curl your lip in disgust.

“You’ll get your damn money asshole” You growl as he strides down the hall.

“Well that was a lovely way to start the day.” Marcus rolls his eyes and walls over to you. “Are you okay?” He asks, searching your face and trying to not look over the shorts and tank top you are wearing that are obviously serving as your pajamas. He hadn’t heard what the landlord said, but he had seen your reaction and knew that it was something unwarranted. “You need anything?” He asks softly, wondering if you might need to change locks on your door.

You shake your head, smiling at Marcus gratefully. “No. No. I’m fine. He’s just…annoyed that I won’t fuck him to make up for my late rent.” You scoff and roll your eyes, “as if I’d want to even go near that asshole. I’ll be fine. Thanks for helping me” You smile at him. You’ve always thought he was cute and seeing him ready to go with his gun in his hand has your stomach twisting.

Marcus nods, and sighs as he looks down the hallway that the landlord disappeared down. “If he keeps harassing you, let me know.” He tells you quietly. “There is no reason for him to expect that kind of thing and it’s not allowed.” His sister is a real estate agent, he makes a mental note to call her about renter’s rights. He shuffles and bites his lip, “well, I’ll let you get ready for work. Have a good day.”

****

It’s been a long day so when you settle back on your sofa and hear your phone ding, you smile at the notification from Marc. “Hi 🐝. Good day?” He asks and your bubble immediately starts typing.

“Yes. Had a good day not worrying about my bills thanks to a certain sweetheart 😘” You type back. You grin as you lean back against your sofa, “how was your day?” You add.

Marcus looks over the stir fry that is cooking down on the stove, checking to make sure that he doesn’t need to stir it and then looks back at his phone. “It was pretty good, now I’m just making dinner.” He types out. “Hopefully you stocked up on groceries after work? Maybe indulged in a bottle of wine?”

You type back, “yes! Got some groceries so I just cooked dinner and I am having a glass of wine. All thanks to you. So Marc…what’s the one thing you want the most?” You hit send. Wanting to know if there’s something you can do for him.

He hums as he contemplates how to answer that. It’s going to sound pathetic. “I just want to be able to have a relaxing evening with someone and talk. Share and laugh.” He knows that it sounds sappy, like some sort of cop out. “I want partnership.”

You hum in agreement. You’ve been so busy trying to keep your head above water that you haven’t even had time to time about dating. It would be nice to have someone to share your life with. “I understand that and agree. It would be nice to have someone to come home to” You type back.

He quickly types out his message after he plates up his own dinner, snapping a picture and sending it to you. “You mean it would be nice to have someone to share this with?” He asks. “What did you decide to do for your first stress-free dinner?”

You are impressed with his cooking. Most men would just get a take out or cook a steak with a baked potato. You type back “I had a salad. Vegetables are a luxury when you’re broke so I enjoyed it.” You tell him and take a photo of your glass of wine, noticing that your legs are in the photo but you send it anyway.

Marcus tries to focus on the wine but he definitely notices the legs. They are very nice legs and his mind drifts to his neighbor in her pajamas this morning. “Well you will have to let me order you a fruit basket sometime, instead of flowers.” He sends it with a silly grin on his face, imagining a large fresh cut arrangement showing up to his still faceless Bee.

***3 weeks later***

You giggle at the text Marc had sent. A meme about working in D.C that has you cracking up as you wait for the elevator. The doors are about to close when a hand reaches out to stop the doors. Your neighbor enters with a soft smile that makes your heart race but you ignore that as you adjust the new purse on your arm. It had been a present from Marc. One you had objected to but you had told him about how your purse was falling apart and the next thing you know, the purse is being delivered to your work.

"Nice purse" Marcus says as he looks down. It's just like the one he got his bee, he must have good taste if you have the same one. It's a popular brand. You don't notice when your neighbor's phone dings just as the doors open. He lets you out first and you make your way down the hall to your apartment.

Marcus glances up at you as you pause at your door. “Have a good night.” He gives you a nod.

“You too, Marcus.” Marcus is smiling at the message his Bee had sent back as he walks to his door, happy to be off work and able to text. He chuckles to himself as he reaches into his pocket for his keys. “So what do we have on the menu tonight? Books, movies, naket portraits?” He types out, sending it to you before he unlocks the door.

You set your purse down, shrugging off your coat and you sit down to reply back. “I was hoping we could discuss meeting. I don’t know if you’re comfortable with that but you’ve given me so much. I would love to say thank you in person and meet you” You type and hit send. Biting your lip as you anxiously await his response. He’s changed your life and you just want to say thank you. Also you might have fallen a little bit in love with him via text. Okay totally in love. He’s so sweet. You are desperate to meet him.

Marcus sets his keys down in the bowl while he kicks off his shoes. Reading and re-reading the message as he wonders if he should. He’s fallen in love with his Bee even if he hasn’t even met you. Afraid that he won’t be able to stop himself from touching her or kissing you when he meets you. “Are you sure you want to meet?” He types out. “You might be disappointed.”

You snort, quickly typing out your reply. “As if. I like you Marc. A lot. I want to meet you in person. Are you sure you want to meet? You might be disappointed” You counter, hitting send and sighing in anticipation. You pray he likes what he sees. It’s no longer about the money even though he’s helped you out. You genuinely like him.

Shaking his head, he huffs. “There is no way.” He sends that and then he bites his lip. “I need to tell you something before we meet, then. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been a little shy about wanting to get together.”

You frown, wondering if he’s not who he’s said he is. That would be about your luck to fall in love with someone who isn’t who they say they are. You type back a quick “go on” and wait anxiously for him to respond.

He takes a deep breath, knowing that he might ruin everything right now. “I...know that this is an arrangement, but….” He sends that part and tries to phrase it as nicely as he can so he doesn’t scare you off. “I’ve developed feelings for you, and I don’t want to ruin this. So if we need to stay just messaging, I understand.”

Your heart skips a beat as you read his words before a wide grin overtakes your face. “Well that’s a coincidence because I’ve developed feelings for you too.” You hit send before you can revise it, heart thumping in excitement and you can’t wait to meet him in person.

He gulps when he reads your words, shocked because honestly he had been expecting you to tell him that maybe it would be best if you stayed online. He starts trying and deletes it, then starts again. “Well that’s fortuitous. 😍.” He shakes his head at himself. “Will you allow me to take you to dinner tomorrow night?” He hits send and his fingers twitch impatiently.

You squeal at his response, unable to help yourself. You give yourself a moment to celebrate this step forward and you quickly type back, “that sounds perfect. Name the time and place.” You are already figuring out what to wear.

“Would you prefer Le Diplomate or Old Ebbitt Grill?” He asks, wanting to make sure that he doesn’t go overboard. He wants to treat his Bee to a perfect night out. “Or would you prefer something more lowkey?”

You frown, not wanting him to spend a crazy amount of money. You type back, “something more low-key? 😬 I don’t want you to spend too much money baby.” You hit send and realize you just called him baby.

Marcus flushes and bites his lip at the term of endearment. ‘Baby’. It makes him feel good that you would be comfortable with that. Plus the idea that someone who was technically a sugar baby didn’t want him spending too much money. Refreshing when he thinks about everyone else he has seen on the site. He grins, counting himself lucky. “How about Martin’s Tavern in Georgetown?” He decides. “7 o’clock?”

You smile, liking that idea more. “Yes that sounds good 😘” You hit send and try not to squeal. You are excited to finally meet him and try to calm down. He might not be who you think he is when you meet him in person. Maybe he’s just a really good catfish.

****

You rush home from work to get ready, spending extra time doing your makeup and picking something to wear. Casual. Sexy. Smart casual. You settle on jeans and a pretty blouse, slightly low cut, and a pair of heels. After checking your hair, you reach for your purse and make your way out of your apartment. “Hold the elevator!” You hear and watch Marcus place his hand between the doors. Your eyes widen slightly at the sight of him, cleaned up and freshly shaven. “Got a hot date?” You tease after pressing the button again.

Marcus chuckles and admires your own put together appearance. Just because he was in love with someone he had technically never met before didn’t mean he couldn’t admire how nice you looked. “I’m meeting a friend for dinner.” He tells you, nodding to you. “You? Whoever you’re meeting is lucky. You look great.” He’s babbling slightly, but it’s just to cover up his nerves. There was always a chance this was all a hoax, that his Bee was a catfish, but he was still hopefully optimistic.

You smile, “thank you. Got a date.” You tell him and bite your lip as your stomach swirls with nerves. You look up as the elevator dings and you exit the elevator. Excited but nervous to meet Marc. You get into your Uber after Marcus bids you good luck and you smile at him as you get in. Tapping your fingers on your knee as the Uber takes you to the tavern.

Marcus is nervous and before he gets into his car, he types out a message to Bee. “I’m on my way honey. If you change your mind, just let me know.” He hits send and puts the car into reverse to pull out of his parking space to head towards the tavern. He had already bought flowers on the way home today, sitting in the passenger seat.

You see his message and grin, quickly typing back. “No way handsome. I’ll see you soon 😘” You hit send and lean back against the seat, grabbing your lipstick out of your purse to reapply before the Uber arrives at the restaurant. You get out and inhale shakily, trying to calm your nerves before you make your way into the restaurant.

The ding of his phone makes him smile and the car speaker plays Bee’s message to him. He hums in approval and sighs when he pulls into the restaurant parking lot and parking. “Okay Pike, don’t mess this up.” He tells himself, vainly checking his appearance one last time just in case something managed to get in his teeth - despite never eating or drinking anything after brushing his teeth. Picking up the flowers off the passenger seat, he gets out and makes his way to the tavern and walks inside.

You are sitting at the bar, waiting for Marc. He was supposed to be wearing blue so you scan the bar for him. You wore red lipstick to let him know who you are so when you see Marcus walking by, you giggle and reach out to touch his arm. “Fancy seeing you here” You grin, unable to believe the coincidence.

“Well hey.” Marcus shakes his head and gives you a matching grin as he looks around, looking for your date. “If I had known you were coming here, I could have given you a ride, save you the Uber.” He doesn’t see his Bee yet, knowing he’s early, still has ten more minutes before he’s supposed to meet her. “Is your date here yet?” He asks, shuffling closer to you when someone moves behind him.

You glance behind him, “no not yet. I’m early though.” You eye the flowers and smile, “beautiful flowers. Those are my favorite.” You confess and glance down at your phone. “I’m just gonna text him. Maybe he got stuck in traffic” You snort, D.C traffic is a nightmare sometimes. You quickly type out a message to Marc, letting him know you are at the bar.

He’s slightly suspicious when he notices your red lipstick, and the fact that his Bee said these flowers were her favorite but there are far greater coincidences in the world so he keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself and have some blonde asshole named Jerry come up to witness his humiliation at assuming you were his mystery sugar baby. Except, seconds after you send a text message, his own phone buzzes in his pocket. His breath catches and he keeps his eyes on you when he reaches for his phone. He doesn’t look at it, instead he just whispers one word. “Bee.”

Your eyes widen at the familiar nickname and you take note of his blue shirt and the fact that he has your favorite flowers. It’s not a coincidence like you previously thought. “Marc?” You whisper, heart thumping in your chest and you stare at him in shock.

"Holy shit." Marcus flushes slightly and he can't believe that his neighbor, his pretty neighbor is the sugar baby that he has been talking to. HIs Bee. "I can't believe this." He shakes his head slightly and bites his lip. "Is this- is this still okay?" He asks you softly. "I mean, I know you weren't expecting your neighbor."

You are shocked but not annoyed. You’ve always thought Marcus was cute but he was recovering from his ex fiancé not moving with him to D.C. “Yes. Yes. I- wow. I did not expect this but it’s not bad. I’ve always thought you were cute” You fluster, realizing you fell in love with the man living across the hall from you via text. “Do you- are you upset it’s me?” You frown slightly when you don’t see his signature smile.

Marcus shakes his head. "No, it's - it's good." He tells you quietly. "I've always thought you were pretty." He admits with a small smile. "I'm just realizing what happened the day after- after that first day we met." He frowns when he remembers what you had told him about the landlord.

Your eyes widen in realization, “well…it- you saved me from him. Helping me pay my rent. I can’t believe you would do that for a stranger without demanding anything back. You never even asked me for nudes” You tease. “You’re an incredible man and I am so lucky to have found you despite you being across the hall from me” You giggle.

He relaxes when you giggle, falling a little bit more in love with you now that he knows how the sound of those little laughing emojis you send him sound. While as neighbors, the two of you were friendly, he hadn’t heard you laugh before. “So, you might have guessed that these are for you.” He offers, extending the flowers to you with a smile. “I owe you dinner and drinks too.”

You take the flowers, admiring them before you look at your ‘sugar daddy’. You nod, “I’d like that. I- I meant what I said, Marcus. I have feelings for you and now that you’re my hot neighbor across the hall, I just realize how lucky I am. You’ve helped me so much and I- I want to say thank you” You say.

He shakes his head and gives you a shy smile. "I want to do it. You don't have to thank me." He promises you. "You needed help and I could do it, and I have honestly loved our conversations every night." He chuckles and shakes his head again. "I couldn't even flirt with the pretty neighbor in the elevator because I wanted to get home and start texting my Bee."

You smirk, “I always pictured Marc to look a little bit like you. I- I guess I had a little crush on you too. One and the same man.” You smile and look down at the flowers. “So…dinner?” You ask and he flusters, nodding and guiding you to the hostess where he gives his name for the reservation.

“Follow me” the hostess says and Marcus places his hand on the small of your back to guide you and your heart thumps in your chest at the gesture.

He had asked for an intimate booth, something that would allow the two of you to talk without being interrupted too much. The dark corner booth is perfect with the candle burning in the middle of the table to add to the atmosphere. He lets you into the half circle booth and comes around it to slide in beside you. Handing you menus, the hostess tells you that the server will be with you in just a few minutes. “This is alright?” He asks, looking at you, instead of the drink menu.

You nod, “it’s perfect.” You smile at him and watch him scan the drinks menu. You admire his profile and can’t help but lean forward and press your lips to his cheek. You feel like you know everything and nothing about him. You know Marc but knowing Marcus is different.

He nearly fumbles the drink menu, breath catching slightly and when you pull back he turns to look at you. Eyes sliding down to your lips and then back up to yours. “Can I kiss you?” He asks, wanting to make sure that you both were on the same page.

You inhale sharply, nodding once as your eyes dip down to his. He keeps his eyes fixed on yours as he leans closer, reaching up to gently cup your cheek before his lips meet yours. You gasp softly into the kiss and tilt your head, loving the soft way his lips press against yours. It’s sweet and gentle. Everything you wanted.

It’s perfect. He loves the feeling of your lips against his. Feeling the smooth slip of your lipstick and the way that it makes his entire body react to just a simple kiss. Letting it last for a few more seconds before he pulls back. “I- wow.” He starts when the server comes up.

“Ready to order some drinks?” It obviously wasn’t a rare thing to have someone kissing, the server acting like she hadn’t seen anything.

You smile, reaching up to wipe the red off of his lips before he looks at the server. Marcus picks up the menu and orders a bottle of champagne. Your eyes widen slightly until you remain yourself how all of this began. The server nods and strides off. You reach for his hand, “baby…I’m not here for the money. I need you to know that.” You tell him, not wanting him to think you’re there for a meal ticket because you’re there for him.

Marcus gives you a smile, lacing his fingers with yours. “I don’t think that you are here for the money.” He tells you softly. “I wanted to celebrate. Our first date is something special and I want to make sure we remember it.”

You nod, "yes. Yes I want to remember this." You are soon ordering your food and it's comfortable. Now that you have met him, there's no awkwardness. You have been talking everyday for weeks so all the small talk is out of the way to leave behind an easy flow of conversation. "How's your mom?" You ask after finishing your dinner.

Marcus grins and rolls his eyes. “Great.” He pitches his voice up. “When are you going to settle down and give me grandkids, Marc?” He imitates his mom, poorly, but with a flair for the dramatic. “You’re so handsome you should have found someone else by now.” He chuckles, admiring your smile and the way you hold back giggles. “It’s hard to remind her that I didn’t meet the love of my life and the Sadie Hawkings dance in seventh grade.”

You shake your head, reaching out to take his hand again. "The women who broke your heart were fools. You deserve love Marcus. You're a good man. A man who deserves someone who loves as much as you love them and I- I love you" You confess, heart pounding as you confirm what you've been feeling all night. Love. You're in love with him.

“I-“ The last time he had someone say they loved him before he said it was his college sweetheart. He had moved on both his ex-wife and Teresa, but he can’t even begin to describe how your words makes his heart soar. “I love you too.” He inches closer and he presses a kiss to the back of your hand. “You are amazing, and I am so glad that you are here and you are just as perfect as I thought you were through the messages. You have such a beautiful soul.”

His words make your heart clench and you reach up with your free hand to cup his cheek. "You do too. You are an amazing man and...and I want to go home." You tell him, feeling your stomach twist in anticipation but you want him. You lean forward to press your lips to his, wanting him to know your train of thought.

There was a split second where he thought you were telling him that you wanted to end the date. Quickly, realizing that he is very much mistaken by the way you are kissing him. He hums and pulls you closer, cupping your cheek as his tongue slides along the seam of your lips to beg for entrance. Groaning quietly into your mouth when you do and his tongue tangles slowly with yours.

You whimper into his mouth when his tongue tangles with yours, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. You know this is probably too quick but you know Marcus. You have known him as Marc via text messages and as Marcus in the hallways and elevator. You want him. You pull back after a moment, lips tingling and a smile on your face. The waiter comes back over and clears their throat, making Marcus blush as he looks away from you. “Can I get you the check?” They ask teasingly and Marcus nods. “I’ll be right back” They say before walking off.

Marcus runs his hand over your hair and caresses your cheek again. “I want you to come back to my place.” He admits quietly, flashing a grin. “Although I think your place is technically closer.” He jokes, his eyes sparkling when you give a small chuckle. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I meant what I said the first time we talked. I want you, but it’s because of our connection, not because of anything else.”

You reach for his free hand. “I meant it too. I want you because of our connection. I mean, you’re hot as hell” You tease, “but I love you and I want you to take me back to your place.” You shuffle closer, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “want you to make me scream your name. Your whole name.”

Marcus chuckles and lifts a brow. "If you can scream ‘Marcus Bradley Pike the Third’ while you are cumming, I'm not doing a good enough job." He teases, eyes dark and lust filled. "But a gasped out ‘Marcus’ would be okay." He wants to hear you cry out in the throes of passion. More than anything.

You giggle, “the third?” You raise your eyebrows and he blushes a little. Your heart thumps and you don’t even notice the waiter put the check down. Marcus is soon paying the bill and you are glad he didn’t take you anywhere too crazy expensive. “Thank you” You tell him, leaning in to kiss his jaw, “for dinner. For everything.”

“Baby, you don’t need to thank me.” He allows himself to enjoy the feeling of your lips against his jaw one more time before he pulls back and lifts his brow. “Are you ready to go, sweetheart?” He asks softly. He doesn’t want to push you, but the idea of you screaming his name hasn’t helped the near constant erection he has been fighting this entire date.

You nod, letting him guide you out of the restaurant and you take his hand after you grab your purse. You can’t wait to be in his apartment, certain that it is the same layout as your own but it is Marcus’s. You smile at his eagerness as he guides you through the restaurant. You squeeze his hand and you are glad you took an Uber instead of driving yourself.

Outside, he guides you to his car, certain that if you want to go home with him that you will let him drive you. He opens the passenger door for you and holds it while you slip inside before he pushes it closed and hurries around the front so he can climb behind the wheel. “I never imagined it was you.” He admits, chuckling as he turns over the engine. “But is it bad that I’m glad that it is?” He asks, looking at you quickly before he pulls forward and out of the space. “I used to think about asking you out for a drink. Before.”

You nod, “I thought - have always thought - that you were cute and I - I had a little crush on you before. You always seemed so sweet but getting to know you as Marc and connecting the two of you? You are a good man. I am lucky to have met you and you have no idea how much you’ve helped me out. I would’ve starved by now if it weren’t for you” You shake your head and bite your lip, wondering what could’ve happened if you hadn’t signed up on that site. “Why…why did you pick my profile? Out of all of them.”

His heart lurches at the idea of you being right next door and hungry. If he had known, he would have had you over every night for dinner. “Honestly?” He looks over at you with a smile. “It was the fact that you were honest about what you needed. You needed a hand and weren’t expecting to get showered with gifts.” He admits. “Plus I really liked you stating up front that you weren’t going to sleep with someone just because you were being supported by them.” He merges into traffic. “What about you? What made you trust me? You could have ignored the match.”

You smile, “you seemed sweet. Genuine. You didn’t immediately ask me for nudes. You didn’t ask me to fuck you for money. So many men on there are gross and just immediately want sex. You didn’t. You wanted to help me. I think that’s when I started to fall in love with you” You admit.

He picks up your hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of it. “I did. I wish I had known, before that.” He tells you quietly. “I would have had you over to cook dinner with me every night. Instead of spending weeks ordering take out by myself.” He sighs. “I like helping.”

Your heart melts at his words and you watch him as he navigates the way home. “Perhaps we can have dinner together now?” You ask, feeling hopeful. He grins and nods, making your heart flutter. He is soon pulling into his parking spot and he cuts the engine before rushing around to open your door. You smile and take his hand as he helps you out. “Thank you baby” You coo, feeling your stomach twist in anticipation.

There is something exciting knowing that you are on the elevator with him. You know the way, your apartment is right next to his. One wall of the apartment was actually shared with yours. His unit is at the end of the hallway so he wasn’t sure which, but he is hoping you can tell him. Hand curling around your waist, he hums and presses his hips to your head. “We can spend as much time together as you want, baby.” He tells you as he hits the button for your floor. “The commute to seeing each other is short.”

You giggle and nod, cupping his cheek to drag his face towards yours. You press your lips to his as the elevator moves to your floor. You whimper into his mouth and slide your tongue to caress his, the need for him surging. You know it’s not a one night stand. You know Marcus. You know Marc. The same man. The man who helped you. The man you love.

Marcus turns and pushes you back up against the car wall, pinning you against it and moaning into your mouth as he presses up against you. “Tell me what you want, baby.” He begs, kissing along your jaw and sucking on the soft skin over your pulse. “What do you want me to do to you?” His hands slide down to cup your ass. “Can I taste you?”

You whine, nodding as you grip his shirt. “Yes. Yes. I want that. Want to taste you too” You moan when he squeezes your ass. The elevator doors ding as they open and you grab his hands from your ass, dragging him down the hall to his apartment door. “Come on handsome” You coo, leaning against the wall while you wait for him to open the door.

It's new, having someone drag him back to his own place. It's happened maybe once or twice, but Marcus loves that you are so eager. He digs his keys out of his pocket and manages to get the door open, letting you in first before he closes it behind the two of you and locks it before he traps you against the door to kiss you again.

You moan, dropping your purse to the floor to tangle your fingers in his dark locks. Moaning his name before his tongue meets yours yet again. You reach up to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, wanting to feel his skin. “Marcus” You whine when he kisses down your neck just as you manage to shove the shirt off of his shoulders.

Groaning at your touch, he presses against your hip, pushing the very prominent bulge against you. His own fingers reach for your blouse and he hums. “So pretty baby.” He praises against your skin as he slides the buttons free. “You always look so pretty.” He loves the heat of your hands against his skin. “I- fuck, I was trying so hard not to look that morning, but your pajamas were so sexy.”

You smirk, “those aren’t even my sexy pajamas.” You tell him and reach down to cup him through his pants. “You always look so sexy in your suits. So sexy baby” You murmur, kissing along his neck as you unbutton his pants, pulling the zipper down. You reach in to pull his cock out, moaning as you look down to admire the thick cock in your hand

“Fuck.” He grunts and his body sways slightly when you give him an experimental pump. His own fingers tremble as he pulls your shirt down your arms to reveal the pretty lace bra. “For me baby?” He coos, reaching up to cup your breasts. “We need to go to the bedroom before we end up having sex right here.” He confesses, knowing that he wants you spread out in his bed before that happens.

You ignore him, shifting to kneel down so you’re pressed between the wall and the man in front of you. Looking over at him as you lean forward to wrap your lips around the head of his cock. Pressing your tongue against the tip and groaning at the drop of precum that coats your lower lip. You whimper and take him deeper, keeping your eyes on his as you caress his thighs.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Marcus leans forward and braces his arms against the wall, moaning when he sees your eyes looking up at him. It’s not like he hasn’t had a blowjob before, he has. He’s just not had one in a long time that is so enthusiastically given. “Gonna - fuck, gonna make you cum baby.” He groans out, cock twitching in your throat. “Want you to bust all over my face t-twice.”

You moan around his cock at his words and you wrap your fingers around his cock. Pumping the base as you work the head, groaning at the way he moans your name. You look up at him, eyes watering a little as you take him deeper, widening your jaw. Your hand slides up to fondle his balls, rolling them slowly.

“Shit.” He hisses, biting his lip and his hips jolt forward to push his cock even further down your throat, making you gag. “Sorry.” He pants out, pulling his hips back so you can catch your breath. “It’s been- it’s been a long time since-” He flushes slightly and reaches down to caress your cheek, moaning when you take him back into your mouth.

You catch your breath and you grip the back of his thighs, pushing him deeper and you swallow around him. Making him groan and you close your eyes when he cums. Swallowing every drop, you caress the back of his thighs and work him through it.

His stomach clenches and he whines while his cum spurts down your throat. He had wanted to take care of you first but his knees are buckling from how hard you are making him cum. He pants, slightly giggly when you pull away and he drags you up for a kiss, not caring that you had just swallowed his cum. “Fuck baby, let me take you to bed.” He begs.

You giggle as he drags you through his apartment and to his bedroom. You reach behind you to unclasp your bra as you kick off your heels and toss the bra aside to expose your breasts to his dark gaze. “Marcus” You whisper as he stands there staring.

“You are so beautiful.” He praises as he pushes his jeans down and kicks off his loafers. You’ve already stripped his shirt off. “Fuck baby, lay down and let me take care of you.”

You obey his order, laying down on the bed and you shift back to relax against the pillows as you watch him kneel on the bed. You are bold and decide to spread your legs.

“Oh fuck.” The sight of your cunt is making his mouth water. “That’s a really pretty pussy baby.” He coos, kneeling down on the bed and caressing your ankle. He slides his hand up and shuffles forward. “Looks delicious.” He grins at you, dimple on display when he bends down and kisses your knee. “I need to find out if it tastes as good as it looks.”

His words combined with his hungry eyes have you moaning out his name, begging him for more. He kisses along your thigh and switches over, making you whine. “Please baby. Don’t tease” You plead.

“I don’t want to tease my girl.” He murmurs, settling between your thighs and looking up at you. He gives you a small, playful wink before he opens his mouth and buries his tongue in your wet folds. Moaning at how good you taste and making sure that he drags his tongue up and down your slit.

You gasp, watching him slide his tongue through your folds until the tip flicks over your clit. Making your hips jerk and you whimper. He repeats the action and you fling your leg over his shoulder, determined to get him to give you more. “Please Marcus. You’re teasing” You warn when he circles the wet skin around your clit.

He chuckles into your folds and pulls your clit into his mouth, sucking on it softly while he slides his fingers around your entrance. He smirks and pushes two fingers inside you and curls them up to push against your walls.

You moan as his fingers curl inside of you. You whimper and reach down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “Oh fuck Marcus. Yes! Yes! So good” You moan and buck your hips up to meet his mouth. His lips suck your clit and it doesn’t take you long to fall over the edge. “Fuck!” You cry and clamp down on his fingers.

His mouth stops sucking but he keeps sliding his tongue around your cunt, dipping down to lap at the juices that are leaking out from around his now still fingers. “That was once baby, need you to do this again.” He needs more time to recuperate and he loves the sight of you cumming for him.

You can’t believe he’s made you cum once. So many guys have been so bad you’ve faked it. You slump back against the pillows, unable to believe he wants you to cum around his fingers again. Your walls flutter around his digits until he slowly works them in and out of you. “Oh Marcus” You whine.

“Hmmm I like the way you say my name like that Bee.” He coos, smiling up at you as he laps at your clit again. “And you are so sweet, just like honey.” He lowers his mouth back to your clit again, sucking and licking while his fingers continue to move inside you.

You love his words, feeling worshipped and you love the way he says your nickname. You love the way he sucks your clit. You moan again, your heel digging into the back of his back. “I’m - oh love you” You cry.

Other people may think that it’s crazy for people who just met to be doing this, or for them to be saying those words, but at this moment it’s perfect. He whines into your folds, touching you and hearing your cries starting to make his cock stir again and he grinds against the bed while he keeps it up. “My beautiful girl.” He groans, rolling his tongue over your clit again before he sucks it back into his mouth.

His words make you fall over the edge. Moaning his name as he sucks on your clit and you cry out, clamping down on his fingers while his tongue sucks your clit. “Marcus. Marcussss” You hiss as he works you through it, his fingers squelching as they pump into you until you are pushing his hand away.

His hair is unruly and his mouth glistening with your juices as he sits back on his haunches, caressing your thigh while you catch your breath. “Do you want more, beautiful?” He asks softly. “Or do you want to wait?” He wants you, but he also wants to make sure, doubly sure that you actually want this. He doesn’t want any feelings of regret tomorrow morning. “It’s up to you.”

You meet those dark eyes full of lust but the consideration on his face makes you nod. You look down at his hard cock and you can’t help but reach out to pump him. “I want you Marcus. I want you inside of me. Do you have a condom?” You ask, wanting him to feel safe too. “I’m on birth control” You confirm too, “and I’m clean.” You promise. You haven’t been with anyone since your asshole of an ex.

“I do, but-” The choice of a condom is completely up to you. “I have a test, a clean bill of health.” He flushes when he realizes how that sounds. “I- uh, I found a new primary doctor and just had a physical when I went in.” He explains, not wanting you to think that he had planned on having sex with you. “But it’s up to you, completely.”

You continue to pump his cock and look back at him. “I want you inside of me. Bare. I- I want to feel all of you.” You tell him and bite your lip, wanting to feel him when he cums inside of you. “If you’re okay with that?” You ask, releasing his cock.

“Shit yes.” Marcus grunts out, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. It’s less gentle than he wants, but he shows surprising restraint for how badly he wants you. “I love you baby.” He murmurs as he positions your legs on either side of his hips and starts to slide his cock up and down your slit, moaning at how hot and wet you are.

You shiver at the feel of the head of his cock brushing your folds over and over again. “Don’t tease” You echo your earlier words and he chuckles before pushing his cock inside of you. You whine at the stretch and you caress his shoulders and back.

“B-ee.” Marcus’ teeth snap together and he keens at how tight you are around him. A perfect fit with your wall stretching around him. “Oh fuck.” He huffs, needing to take a minute for himself before he ends things too soon. He turns his head, scattering kisses along your jaw. “Perfect, so fucking perfect.” He babbles between kisses as he rocks in minute thrusts.

You caress every inch of his body you can reach and you moan at the way his lips feel on your skin. “God Marc. Feels so good. You’re so big” You whine and tilt your head back as he kisses down your throat. “Faster” You plead when his short thrusts become torturous. You want him to be deep inside of you, you want to watch his face as he comes apart. “More” You beg, reaching down to squeeze his ass, pushing him deeper.

He groans, twitching deep inside you when your fingers dig into the meat of his ass. “God baby.” He hisses, pulling back and starting to thrust inside you, his hips slapping against your thighs while his cock plunges in and out of your body. He huffs when you squeeze him tight and wrap your legs around his hips and lock them behind his back.

You are lost, whimpering his name over and over as he rocks into you. You slide your hands along his back and scratch your nails down his shoulders, making his cock twitch inside of you. “Yes baby. Yes. Like that. Just like that” You sob, feeling your cunt gush as he hits deep. “Marcus!” You cry out, nails digging into his back.

Marcus pants, starting to work himself into you harder and faster, spurred on by your cries and the sting of your nail in his back. “Fuck yes, baby.” He moans, ducking his head down and kissing your neck. “Cum for me baby, soak me.” He begs. “Cum for me.”

The way his cock presses against the spot inside of you has you screaming his name. A sob escaping your lips as you cum, soaking his cock as your nails dig so hard they draw blood. “Oh fuckkk” You whine, gasping for breath as your body shakes beneath him.

He growls, and hisses at the feeling of your cum soaking him. The pain in his back and he knows he will keep the sweet sting for days after tonight. He groans, thrusts are frantic as his rhythm falters and he slams into you four or five more times before the cords on his neck are straining and he is shouting out your name while he fills you. Hot spurts of cum painting your walls with every pulsing throb of his cock.

“Oh Marc. Yes yes yes” You pant, closing your eyes at the feel of his cum filling you up. “I love you. I love you baby” You ramble, caressing the markets you made on his back. “Love you so much.” You choke and kiss his jaw. Unable to believe how lucky you are to be able to love a man like this.

He groans and reaches up to smooth your hair back, giving you a satisfied grin. “I love you too Bee.” He murmurs, kissing your forehead and then your lips before he gently pulls out of you and rolls to the side. He sighs and gazes down at you in complete adoration. “Do you want something to drink?” He asks, stroking your side gently. “I know you have to go to the bathroom, but I can get you water, wine? I have some juice?”

You nod, "some water would be nice. I'm gonna go pee." You tell him, shuffling off of the bed carefully so his cum doesn't get on the sheets. You groan as you waddle into the bathroom, peeing and cleaning yourself up. Marcus hands you a glass of water after you settle back into the pillows. Looking at Marcus, you cannot believe how lucky you are. "So...are you happy you signed up on that app?" You tease Marcus after he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"So happy" He hums and you smile, nuzzling into his side.

"Me too. So you still don't want me to call you daddy?" You joke and he wrinkles his nose.

"Please don't. Only when we have kids" He says and you raise your eyebrows.

"When?" You chuckle and he blushes. "It's okay" You cut him off before he can say anything, "I want a future with you too baby. One day at a time." You stroke his arm and sigh, unable to believe that you've found the love of your life off of an app. One day he will be called daddy. You're sure of it.

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#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #Marcus Pike x f!Reader #marcus pike smut #Marcus Pike fanfic #Marcus Pike imagine #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike the mentalist

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hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf · 2 years

Text

Pretty Peach

sub!jisung x fem reader

Trigger warnings: n/a

Content warnings: names (pretty, honey boy, angel, pumpkin, baby, peach, kitten, darling, babydoll, baby boy, princess, pretty peach, sweetheart, good boy), vibrators, bound wrists, oral (m&f receiving), breeding kink (i’m so fucking sorry), overstimulation, dacryphilia, jisung wears a skirt and has a noona kink, established relationship, unprotected sex (for the love of god don’t be silly, wrap your willie).

Summary: your boyfriend acted up while you were at work, now he has to face the consequences.

Word count: 5424

A/N: y’all i wrote this a year ago. i am so ashamed of how bad i wanna dom this man and i am sorry for who i am as a person. i had a thought about domming him like two years ago and it ruined my life. i was a pillow princess until this man came into my life. anyways. i apologize specifically for how i wrote the breeding kink, it is deeply troubling to my soul, i am a fundamentally flawed being. anywaysssss consider following me here (and consider turning on post notifications for regular uploads!) and maybe follow my main here! also, requests are open!

Smut below the cut

The puffy cheeks and innocent demeanor were lies. Han Jisung was the freakiest little thing you’d ever met. He was sweet as pie, sure, but the horny little fucker was adventurous and not afraid to let you know what he wanted. So you weren’t surprised when you came home to find your boyfriend sitting on his knees in bed, ankles turned out cutely so his ass was sat on the bed instead of on his feet.

“Hey, pretty. Looks like you missed me today, huh?” You smiled as you toed your shoes off, looking at him over your shoulder. The baby purple skirt and matching purple and white striped sweater looked adorable on him. But he also looked fucking hot given how the color contrasted with his skin tone in a way that made him glow.

Of course, his smile was even brighter when he heard the name and he nodded quickly. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. Wanted to come see you but I didn’t think that was a good idea.” He hummed, placing his hands between his thighs and propping forward on them. That’s what drew your attention to the tent.

“Mm I think my honey boy missed me even more than he says.” You tease as you walk to the edge of the bed. “After all, Ji, you’re dressed up and half hard. It seems like you really, really missed me.” You hummed and leaned in, taking his chin in your hand and forcing him to hold eye contact with you as his cheeks squished his lips into an adorable pout. “Did you have any fun without me, angel?”

His doe-like eyes widened even more but he didn’t dare lie. He knew better. “Yes..” he admitted, looking down to your lips. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I got too worked up...but I stopped!” His eyes snapped back to yours as he tried to assure you he’d realized his wrongdoings. “I stopped...it’s always better with noona. ‘N’ I like being a good boy so I stopped and got all dolled up for you..” he murmured.

It was hard to act angry but you had rules for when he was being subby and he’d broken those rules. “So you played with my belongings and then when you realized you’d get in trouble, you tried to hide it?” You saw his face fall and pulled back with a sigh, letting go of his face. “Pumpkin, you know the rules. But since you realized you were bad, why don’t we try out a new punishment? The one we discussed last weekend.” He nodded and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I did some research and managed to find something suitable at the hardware store on my way home today. While I go get that, I want you to get the box.” You left to get the bag that held the rope and heard his footsteps rush towards the closet. At least he was being obedient. But he sure as hell was gonna be disappointed when he realized he wouldn’t get to touch you.

When you came back, he was standing by the bed and opening the box for you. His cute little cat print knee socks were slipping down slightly and he already looked disheveled. Cute. “Angel, why don’t you have a seat while I pick out some toys?” You hummed as you pulled out the rope. It was a white cord that wouldn’t chafe the skin easily. Since you were just experimenting and didn’t know if either of you would actually like the restraints, you only got enough to tie his wrists - or yours when he got dominant - because getting enough to rig him to the bed or make a pretty design would be wasteful if neither of you liked it.

You could tell by his expression that he was giddy despite being apologetic about being bad and you felt satisfaction flood your body. It’s a shame he wouldn’t know what hit him. You laid the rope down and began to rummage through the box, picking out his favorite vibrator when you finally found it. It had been a while since you’d used it on him so it had shifted to the bottom of the box. Lately he’d been the one rearranging your guts so only your favorites had been used.

“What do you think, baby? Anything else I should use?” He quickly shook his head and fiddled with his fingers in his lap. “No, that one is good. I like that one.” You nodded and closed the box, setting it aside and grabbing Jisung’s sleep mask from the night stand.

“That’s everything then.” You hummed and sat on the bed, scooting back to the headboard and crossing your legs at the ankles. “C’mere, peach.” You patted your thighs and he eagerly crawled over to sit on your lap. “Can you show noona how sorry you are?”

His sweater paws rested on your shoulders as he leaned in to kiss you, knowing how much you adored his kisses. His plump lips met yours and you felt him relax as your hands went to his hips. You knew he always needed that gentle reassuring intimacy when he subbed and you could never deny him that.

Your lips danced with his for a few seconds before you sucked on his lower lip, nibbling softly in order to work him up, not that he needed any working up. You were rewarded with a soft gasp and a squeak as you bit down on his lip, feeling him tense up a bit. He was always so responsive and sometimes it drove you up the wall.

Your grip on his hips tightened as you parted for air, giving him an unreadable expression. “You gonna be a good boy and let me make you cum?” He nodded quickly and you couldn’t hide the small chuckle that escaped. Always eager.

You untucked his sweater and pulled it over his head, exposing his toned, honey colored tummy and surprisingly-pumped chest with a sigh. God he was pretty. What a shame you couldn’t spend all your time worshiping him. You dropped the sweater on the bed and pulled him in a little closer, one hand tangling in his hair to tug his head back while the other moved to squeeze his ass. The second his neck was exposed, you attached your lips to the golden skin and were immediately met with a little whine.

His sounds always turned you on but you ignored that for now, determined to get him riled up. When you bit down on his shoulder, he let out a high-pitched whimper and you felt his hands fly to your biceps as if to ground himself. Pointless, really. You’d found the spot that made him sing and there was no hiding it anymore.

Your grip on his hair tightened as you focused all your attention on that one spot, biting and sucking as he moaned until he wiggled his hips. When you pulled back, his shoulder was already bruising and his face was flushed. The poor thing loved hickeys but he always got so worked up when you gave him even one. Cute.

“Aww, Ji, already gonna beg for me? How sweet. I haven’t even started, angel.” You mocked as you let go of his hair and made him let go of your arms. “Lay down. Get comfy because you’re not moving unless I say so.”

Ever eager to be a good boy, he scrambled off your lap and got himself in a comfortable position as you picked up the rope. You didn’t even have to say anything as you removed the string they’d used to keep the rope neat at the store. His hands were already up in the air, wrists ready to be bound as you straddled his hips. Cute.

You began to wrap the rope back and forth around his wrists, feeding the ends through and tightening everything down when you were satisfied. “Mm it’s not very pretty but how does it feel?” You asked, watching as his cheeks burned a soft pink.

“Feels nice..” he murmured, averting his gaze. It was obvious he liked this a lot more than he was letting on. He was blushing and you felt his cock jump the second the rope started to get tighter. He was just trying to stay calm and collected so he wouldn’t get on your nerves. Of course, he could never. He was too fucking cute for you to be annoyed, especially in bed.

“Good. Now, since this is a punishment, I can’t just tie you up and fuck you. That would be more like a reward, don’t you think?” He nodded slowly, nibbling on his lower lip. “So here’s the twist, kitten; you won’t be able to see what I’m doing. You’ll be stuck anxiously awaiting my next move. And if you cum before I say you can, you’ll be begging for me to stop. Do you understand?” He nodded again and bit back a whimper when you moved away from his dick. If you’d been more angry with him, you would’ve mocked him for being so turned on and being so obvious about it since he was in a skirt. But he’d apologized and only deserved a mild punishment.

“Hands on your chest. If you touch me without permission, I’ll have to spank you. And as much as I love watching your ass jiggle, I don’t like causing you pain unless you beg for it.” He immediately pulled his wrists to his chest as he watched you untuck your blouse.

The buttons were easily undone, given how stretched the buttonholes had become. You were constantly having to mend this shirt in particular because it drove him wild and you were positive there were lost buttons under the bed at this point. He had no self control when he saw the slinky plum blouse fall just right over your cleavage.

You dropped the blouse with his sweater and watched his eyes gloss over as he focused on your chest. He was definitely a boob guy so you made sure to always wear relatively sexy bras unless you were working out just so you could get under his skin. You noticed his tongue dart out to wet his lips and chuckled. “Like what you see, angel?” His eyes stayed trained on your chest and he nodded quickly. “Mm too bad you won’t be able to see them for much longer. Maybe if you’re a good boy, I’ll let you touch after I’ve finished with you.”

As if the promise of cumming wasn’t a big deal anymore, he nodded vigorously. He’d do anything to play with your tits. You, of course, loved when he did, so you usually didn’t turn him down. You didn’t waste much time in discarding your gray dress pants, far more interested in teasing him at this point. Once you crawled back over him, you grabbed the sleep mask and held it up. “Ready to go lights out?” He hid his pout well and nodded. “Words, darling.”

“Yes, noona..” he mumbled, fighting to keep his focus on your face. You just leaned up and put the mask on him, making sure he couldn’t see before settling back on his thighs. You’d discovered how much he liked sensory play relatively early on in the relationship when he woke up to you helping him out from an erotic dream and he didn’t bother to take the mask off, becoming a mess from every unexpected touch.

So when your nails lightly scratched along his abs and he let out a sigh, you knew this would be more fun with the rope. He couldn’t guide you to where he wanted your attention, whether that be his chest or his dick. He just had to deal with it.

It was easy to get him begging with your hands roaming his body. He had always been responsive, even when he was the one leading. The fact that he got turned on from so much as seeing your collarbone made your life interesting to say the least. So you weren’t surprised when you leaned down to lightly bite down on his nipple and were rewarded with a loud whine. The poor thing was always so horny.

His hands were fists on his chest as he made sure he wasn’t touching, wanting to be your good little boy. After teasing his nipple for a moment, you decided to nip at his fingers. He always loved when you did that and you wanted to hear his desperate moans. You gently took his hands and unfurled them, kissing the tips of his index fingers before biting down softly. The whine that met your ears was fucking delightful and you smirked briefly before doing it again. “Tell noona what you’re thinking, babydoll.” You cooed teasingly as you moved to his middle fingers.

He huffed cutely, clearly embarrassed but not wanting to disobey. “Want noona’s pretty lips on more than just my fingers..” he admitted shakily, his body tensing up as you started to grind down on him. “W-wanna feel you suck my cock..” he added before you even had the chance to prod further. He knew you wanted him to use his words.

“Yeah? Want me to suck you off until you’re about to cum and then ride you and make you cum inside?” He nodded all too quickly and whimpered. “Well if you’re a good boy, you can give noona your babies.” You hummed as you gently raked your nails down his abs.

Your hands didn’t stop at the waist of his skirt and he pouted despite his best efforts but he quickly caught his bottom lip between his teeth when your fingers began to snake up the bare skin of his thighs. You loved fucking him while he was still half dressed and you planned to do it again. As your hands slid up to his hips, you were surprised to find he wasn’t wearing his panties and scoffed as you fought back a smile. “Kitten, I think you forgot something.”

He immediately shook his head. “They were too tight. It hurt..” he explained pathetically and you pouted at him. “Poor baby got so hard you couldn’t even wear your panties? Don’t worry, peach, noona will fix it.”

You could see his face light up in anticipation already and just shook your head as you flipped his skirt up. “So needy for me..” you teased as your eyes landed on his angry red cock. He had such a pretty dick, really. A perfect seven inches long and about two inches thick. He was extremely well-endowed and you were surprised no one picked up on it whenever he wore those tight leather pants you loved so much.

His cock was already drooling and your mouth watered at the sight, your lip catching between your teeth as you wrapped your hand around him. He gasped loudly at the contact and bit down harshly on his lip to stifle a whimper. “I’ve barely touched you and you already sound so wrecked, baby boy. You think you can make it?” You teased as you slowly started to jerk him off, blowing on his tip.

“I-I can! I can be a good boy for noona!” He assured you desperately as you lightly kissed the tip, his voice already an octave higher. “Gotta be a good boy for noona..” he whispered more to himself as you teased him.

“That’s right, princess. And what happens if you’re not a good boy?” You hummed, stroking him lazily. In reality, this was torture for both of you. He was so fucking cute and you just wanted to fuck him until he screamed.

“D-don’t get a break. A-and noona won’t take my babies..” he whimpered, his legs tense as he fought to stay still. He was desperate to be good. He was always so desperate to be your good little boy.

“That’s right, kitten. And we both know how bad you wanna fill me up and see me waddle around carrying your babies.” You cooed mockingly as you tightened your grip. “Try to hold still for me, angel.” You hummed before taking his tip in your mouth and earning a high pitched whine of pure delight as his whole body tensed up.

Your tongue swirled around the tip as your hand worked the rest of him, dragging more whimpers and whines from him. Every sound he made was music to your ears and you were determined to make him scream. And he almost did when you dug your tongue into the slit, hollowing your cheeks a moment later.

You didn’t move further than the tip until he sounded like he would cry. He wouldn’t dare ask for anything specific when he was being punished but you knew he was so frustrated that you weren’t giving him more. So when he finally started to sound broken, you suddenly took him all the way in and he screamed.

“No, no, please, noona, I-I can’t-!” He cried, trying to pull away as you swallowed around him. He didn’t have permission but he was so close and he didn’t wanna make you even more upset with him. “Noona, please-!” He begged pathetically but to no avail as he came down your throat without a proper verbal warning.

You swallowed it all and pulled off slowly, tutting at him as you did. “What did I tell you, baby boy?” You chided as you resumed your pace with your hand, not giving him even a second to compose himself.

“I’m sorry! I-I tried to tell you b-but I couldn’t get it out in time!” He practically sobbed as he started to get overstimulated from your touch. “I didn’t wanna cum, noona, I promise! I wasn’t trying to! I tried to stop!” He explained, knowing he couldn’t beg you to stop now because making demands would only get him in trouble. He had to appeal to your soft side.

“You didn’t want to?” You scoffed as you dug your thumb into the slit, earning a weak sob. “I don’t buy that, kitten. If you didn’t want to cum, you would’ve controlled yourself. I know I’ve trained you better.”

Your words made his heart sting even more than his teary eyes and his bottom lip wobbled. “Noona, please...it hurts..” he whimpered out pathetically. “I really didn’t mean to...m-maybe I’m just sensitive since I’ve been the one taking control lately..” he suggested, knowing it barely made sense and you wouldn’t accept that answer. His fears were confirmed when you tutted at him and he began to scramble for another answer as you set his body on fire. “I couldn’t take it, noona, ‘m sorry I was bad..” he finally choked out, trying to squirm away from your touch as everything began to ache.

Seeing his lip tremble and knowing he was entirely broken hurt. You stayed silent for a little while, just listening to his choked sounds as you overstimulated him. You knew he’d tell you if it was too much. That he’d use the safe word. When you finally spoke, your hands moved to his thighs and began to trace little circles there. He needed to be reassured he was still your good little baby.

“You’re not a bad boy, Ji. You just couldn’t meet the expectations I had tonight.” You said softly, noticing how his thighs trembled under your touch. “And that happens sometimes. All that means is you don’t get rewarded at the end. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad boy.”

You knew he needed to be coddled before you did anything else. He’d been pushed to his limit tonight. Emotionally, anyways. He could disobey and handle the repercussions like a champ, but he always hit a wall when you scolded him. He liked it rough but he needed to know he was your baby boy and that he was doing a good job.

Your nails lightly dragged along his thighs for a brief moment before you moved to lightly squeeze his hips so as to get his attention. “Hold still, baby.” You said softly, shifting up to remove the mask. You were met with glossy eyes lined with damp lashes that fell beautifully over the very tops of his rosy cheeks every time he blinked. “There’s my pretty peach.” You cooed, cupping his chubby cheeks instantly and offering a small smile.

Despite the position you were in, his expression was entirely innocent. His eyes were wide and doe-like and his lips formed a perfect pout. His nose and cheeks were flushed from both his orgasm and his tears. He looked so beautiful and it made you want to ruin him all over again. But for now, you needed to comfort him. “You’re not mad at me?” He asked quietly, never meeting your gaze.

“Han Jisung, look at me.” Your voice was soft despite your demand. You gently squished his cheeks as you made him look at you, his lips poking out even further than they’d done earlier. When he finally met your gaze, albeit hesitantly, you offered another smile and leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose. “I’m not mad at you, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to make you cry either.” He nodded but it was clear he didn’t buy it.

So you squished his cheeks further and leaned in for a kiss, earning a soft whine. “Cute.” You mused and began to play with his hair. “I promise, baby boy. I’m not mad. I love you.” You held up your pinky and he finally gave a tiny smile as he brought his bound hands up to lock pinkies with yours. “You tried to tell me and I was mean and kept going. That’s not your fault.” Your tone was sincere and he nodded slowly.

“I’m still really sensitive but I wanna try again. Wanna be a really good boy.” He murmured shyly, breaking eye contact again as his cheeks grew a darker shade of pink. “And you never used the vibrator. I’m still on the hook..” he giggled quietly, biting his bottom lip.

“Then would you like a chance to redeem your actions?” You asked in a playfully stern tone, earning a quick nod. “There’s my playful boy.” You cooed and leaned down to kiss him once more before smirking. “Then I’ll give you another chance. Same rules as before but with a twist.”

He tilted his head curiously and you bit your lip. “Noona is really wet, sweetheart. I want you to eat me out while I tease you. If you can make me cum first, I’ll let everything go and you can fuck me however you want. If I make you cum first, we’ll call it a night.” You challenged and he nodded all too quickly.

“I-I can do that! Love it when noona sits on my face..” he groaned that last part softly and bit his lip. Since he was back to himself, you decided to carry on and slowly trailed your hands back down to his chest, nails dragging along his skin.

You could see he wanted to say something so you paused and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to break the silence. It took him a few seconds to catch on but he finally let his bottom lip free and spoke in a hesitant tone. “Even if I cum first, I can still help you finish, right?” He asked quietly and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face.

“Of course, angel. You asked so nicely, how could I say no? Besides,” you hummed as you began to reach lower. “You got me all worked up. It’s only right that you finish what you started.” You smirked and he nodded enthusiastically as you sat up.

He watched with wide eyes and bated breath as you got up to remove your panties, leaving the bra on just to frustrate him. When you were bare, you got back on the bed and positioned yourself over his face with a hum. “Ready, pretty?” You asked as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.

The soft nip to your thigh made you jolt away from him, not expecting a bite in response, and he just giggled innocently before pressing his tongue flat against your pussy. You let out a soft sigh and closed your eyes to compose yourself before wrapping your lips around his tip like before, one hand searching blindly for the vibrator.

Another thing you loved about Jisung was just how eager he was to bury his face between your legs. It was a treat for him just as much as it was a treat for you. Not to mention, he was damn good at it and he knew it. He knew how to make you scream with just his tongue and even now he was capitalizing on that knowledge.

You couldn’t stop the pitiful whine that ripped from your throat as he sucked on your clit, your slender fingers finally making contact with the vibrator. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment and irritation as you switched the vibrator on the lowest setting and trailed it along his thighs. There was no way he was gonna win. Your competitive streak was adamant that you couldn’t let him win.

You pulled off and spread your spit down his shaft, jerking him with ease as you pressed the vibrator against the tip of his cock. He let out a cry against your pussy and you bit your lip to mask a smirk, knowing now that you were at least on equal ground, though you likely had the upper hand. “Do try and hold off, angel.” You mocked, trying to get under his skin to see if he could actually hold it.

But you didn’t expect him to play dirty. His bound wrists were an afterthought to him. He didn’t care about that at the moment. He just plunged his tongue into you and let his fingers tease your clit. The sound you made was anything but holy. If he caught on and swapped what his tongue and fingers were doing, you’d be done for. And far too early for your liking.

You were having zero luck, even as you cranked up the speed on the vibrator. It was as if he read your mind because not even a moment later he was back to sucking and licking at your clit while his fingers assaulted your sweet spot. The choked sound you made only spurred him on and you felt your orgasm washing over you just as his was about to break.

You instantly slumped forward, your head resting on his thigh as he finished you off. Then he was biting your thighs again and grinning to himself. “I won, noona.” This was all he said as you moved from where you were resting and began to untie his hands.

“You did. So now I’m at your mercy, baby boy. But don’t forget that you’re still my baby boy tonight.” You sat back to see what he’d do and he instantly flipped you onto your stomach.

“What if I want you to be my good girl though?” You almost rolled your eyes. Almost. Instead, you looked over your shoulder at him, offering up a little glare. It wasn’t as harsh as you’d tried to make it, the idea of letting him take complete control did sound nice. But this was the first time in two months he’d submitted and you weren’t letting go of it that easily.

“Then you’ll have to wait. I’m not in the mood to be a good girl. I want my baby boy to fuck me. Don’t you wanna give me your babies, peach?” You could’ve sworn he choked as you settled back into the sheets, wiggling your ass at him. “Don’t make me wait too long. I’m impatient.”

“Y-yes, noona..!” But he didn’t move. “Um…actually… can- can you lay on your back..? So I can see your face..?” He sounded so flustered but you didn’t bother to reassure him. You just flipped over and raised an eyebrow. He took this as his cue to explain and averted his eyes as a blush crept up his neck. “I just…I wanna see your face when I cum for you…want noona to watch me and call me pretty…feels more special to give you my babies that way..”

You could tell he was embarrassed to admit he wanted you to watch him fall apart but it was fucking adorable. You couldn’t hide your smile and he noticed, quickly looking away again. “So you don’t wanna just fuck me?” His eyes flew to you and you let out an airy laugh as your hand went to his cheek, your thumb tracing his cheekbone before you went serious. “Make love to me, angel. Let me make you feel pretty.”

He didn’t need further convincing. He was careful and gentle even in his haste to follow your orders, taking his time to tease your pussy. His insides felt warm and fuzzy from the change in atmosphere and he wanted nothing more than to make love to you, to feel more than just physical pleasure.

In a way, he wanted to make sure you felt special too. Because you were. You were the woman he loved. His favorite person. You were the single most special, most important person in his life and he wanted to build a future with you. And he wanted to show you how much he adored you even if he wasn’t the one in control.

So it could only be that much sweeter when he finally filled you, your eyes slipping shut as a contented sigh passed through your lips, which were lifting into a tiny smile. “Good boy, Sungie. You feel so good..” you praised, earning a soft whine. He was slightly embarrassed by the praise but you also felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Noona feels good too…so fucking good- oh..” he whimpered as he slowly rocked his hips against yours. The pace was almost torturous but it felt so good to have you clenching around him already. Given his sensitivity and how tight you were, he knew if he went any faster he’d cum far earlier than he wanted to. He wanted to cum with you, not far earlier and leave you feeling disappointed.

His hands were lifting your legs by the backs of your knees so you took it upon yourself to toy with your clit, knowing how sensitive and worked up he was. “Faster, Ji, please.” You breathed out as your fingers worked faster. You knew that he was holding back to keep from finishing early and that he wanted more and there was no way you could deny him that. So you worked yourself up further so he could get what you both knew he wanted.

His brows furrowed and he bit down harshly on his bottom lip as he sped up, his body on fire and bordering on overstimulation from how long you’d toyed with him earlier. He could feel your walls fluttering around him and he knew you were getting close. He felt like he’d lose his grip on his orgasm any moment if you clenched any further.

And that’s exactly what happened when your orgasm crashed over your, your pussy milking every last drop out of him. You managed to pry your eyes open just enough to see his O face and you were awestruck all over again. “Fuck, baby, you look so pretty. You’re so good for me, giving me your babies.” You panted, pulling him down for a kiss as his moans died down. You made him move his hands from your knees, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding him in place as your tongues danced.

When you finally did part for air, you could only smile as you gulped in as much air as your lungs could take. “You’re such a good boy. I love you.” He whimpered at that and buried his face in your neck, earning a soft giggle. “And you’re fucking adorable too, babydoll.” He whined again and you chuckled softly as you began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Can we stay like this..?” He whispered against your skin and you hummed in agreement, already feeling drowsy and content from the night’s events.

#stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids jisung #stray kids han #han jisung #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #kpop smut #i am so fucking sorry #but at least we get ji in a skirt #alura’s works

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unhealthyfanobsession · 3 years

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Another jealous!Cassian please! 🙏 Modern Au. Nesta is secretly getting sparring lessons to impress a certain Illyrian (maybe from Balthazar?). Cassian owns the gym. This exchange: "Nesta, please tell Cassian not to fire me. He's getting suspicious." --"what makes you think that?". "Ummm maybe because at this morning's meeting he told everyone there's no sex allowed in the training ring???" 🔥🔥🔥

Oh anon this took a truly delicious turn that I personally am obsessed with so I hope you like it too!!!

That stupid, arrogant, prick! It was this monologue that got Nesta out of bed every morning lately. The reminder that her boyfriend was a stupid, arrogant, prick.

Protect her, please! Protect her?! Nesta Archeron? As if she was some little kitten and not a lioness with claws. Long claws. Sharp claws. Claws that she was going to dig into his fucking neck after another few lessons.

Maybe some people would have found it cute. Would have smiled and curled into their boyfriend’s big strong chest when they made the comment Cassian had.

A little over a month ago Nesta had tried to convince Cassian to skip a workout and stay in bed with her all day. And he- the stupid, arrogant, prick- said that he had to stay big and strong so he could protect her.

HAH!

Sure, waking up at 5am to train with Bal every morning so she could sneak out of the Judo gym that Cassian owned before it opened had been tiring, but man would it be worth it the next time he pulled that macho shit on her and she just flipped him right onto his admittedly very muscled back.

“You have to tell Cassian we’re doing this. He’s going to fire me.” Balthazar wasn’t in his gi. He was wearing sweatpants and a too-tight T shirt. Which pissed Nesta off because she assumed it meant they wouldn’t be having a lesson that morning. And here she was, stretched out and suited up at the ass crack of Dawn on a Saturday.

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because at the meeting before the gym closed last night he told everyone that the training ring wasn’t for having sex in before the gym opened. He was fucking pissed and I don’t think he’d be any less pissed if he found out it was his girlfriend I was sneaking in here every morning. It was a fun idea but it has to stop.”

“Ugh,” Nesta grumbled. “I’ll deal with this. Go.”

So she sat down on the middle of the training ring. Stripped off her gi and sat there in bike shorts and a sports bra until her bear of a boyfriend walked in the front door with a stupid, cocky, knowing smile on his face.

“How long have you known?” She glared daggers at him.

Cassian laughed, jumping into the ring with her. “Nesta Archeron wakes up before 10am on a Saturday? Less than a week after I offer to be her big strong protector?”

“You set me up!” She accused.

“I’ve been trying to get you to train with me for a year. Drastic measures had to be taken, my love.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “You didn’t have to terrify Balthazar like that.”

“No,” Cassian admitted. “I didn’t, but it was just so fun.”

“He thinks you’re in a jealous rage.”

“Maybe I am,” Cassian smirked, moving closer to Nesta, slipping his hands around her waist and running his calloused thumb across the bare strip of skin between the bottom of her sports bra and the top of her shorts. “Maybe I’m so jealous I’m going to challenge him to a duel for your hand.”

Nesta scoffed, grabbing his wrist how Bal showed her and twisting backwards. When that was done, she hooked a heel behind the soft spot at the back of his knees and used her angle to wretch backward. Cassian stumbled and fell to his knees, but it wasn’t the full take down she was hoping for. “I’ll fight for my own hand, thank you very much.”

“Challenge accepted,” Cassian grinned, reaching up to grab her forearm and set his other hand on her thigh, pulling down so that she fell hard on her side.

“Ow! That’s illegal!” Nesta sat back up.

“You aren’t wearing a Judogi. Everything is illegal.”

“Fine.” Nesta talked across the room and grabbed her gi. Muttering and swearing under her breath the whole time she put it on.

They bowed, half mockingly, but even in this petty match, Nesta knew Cassian would never ignore one of the fundamental components of the martial art he loved so much.

Nesta gripped Cassian’s jacket. He gripped hers. The initial struggle lasted long enough, and Nesta held her own well enough, that Cassian gave her an approving nod.

“Good, Nes. He taught you well.”

“Well enough to beat you!” She pulled back hard, attempting a throw that had taken Balthazar down, but Cassian was bigger. Quicker. Steadier.

“He can’t even beat me,” Cassian smirked, easily grappling and kicking one leg out from under her so that she landed flat on her back and was completely pressed under him. “So I don’t see how he could teach you to. You’ll have to train with me if you want to win, love.”

Nesta growled, kicking her leg out. Cassian caught it quickly. “TIMER!” He yelled and a very smug looking Azriel appeared out of absolutely fucking nowhere like the weirdo shadow boy he was.

Nesta knew he was watching the clock until Cassian had held her down for twenty seconds, achieving Ipoon and winning the match.

Nesta flailed and used every move Bal had taught her to slip out of a hold, but it was no use.

“Sorry Nes, I’d normally let you win since you actually are doing really well,” condescending prick. “But the stakes are just too high here.”

Stakes? What stakes?

“Twenty!” Azriel called out. Cassian grinned, pressed a kiss to Nesta’s temple, and let her up.

“Thanks brother.” Cassian walked over and took something small and square out of Azriel’s hand.

“Cassian what are you-“

“Now now Nes, don’t be a sore loser. You agreed to this.”

“Agreed to what?” Nesta turned to glare at Azriel who raised his hands in mock surrender as if to say you’re the one dating the crazy man don’t look at me.

“We were dueling for your hand, remember?” He grinned and Nesta almost fell backwards as he dropped onto one knee and popped open the box he’d taken from Azriel. “And I won.”

Nesta stared. Stared down at the ring. THE ring. The one she’d sent Gwyn months ago. How long had this bastard been planning this!

“I love you,” Cassian said. “Nesta Archeron I love everything about you. I love how pissed off you get when I offer to protect you. I love your glares every bit as much as your smiles. I love that right now I am on one knee, proposing to you, and you’re still just pissed off that I beat you and thinking that you will pin me one day too,” he smirked, “to the Judo mat, but I’m not going to train you unless you marry me so you’ll never get that satisfaction unless you say yes.”

Nesta paused for a minute. A smile tugging on her lips. “Well I guess I don’t have a choice, then.”

“No,” Cassian slipped the ring onto her finger and stood up as quickly as he could to wrap Nesta in his arms and kiss her, “you don’t.”

“Hey Cass?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” she murmured against his lips. “And I’m gonna kick your ass.” Nesta grabbed his jacket, pushing on his knee instead of pulling this time, and he went right down. Point to Nesta. Just how she like it.

#nessian #drabbles open #nesta archeron #acosf #nessian fanfiction #cassian #nesta and cassian #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #acotar #azriel #balthazar

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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romanianwilkinson · 3 years

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MONSTER CAMP QUOTES STARTERS

A collection of sentence starters from the game Monster Camp. Feel free to change words and pronouns as desired. CONTENT WARNING(S) FOR: Monster Prom/Monster Camp spoilers, suggestive, cursing, crude content

“ I just have it here because [NAME] insisted that I offer it, as a marketing stunt. ”

“ And lastly, super-horny-type players no longer get a charm buff against tsundere types! ”

“ War machines don’t turn me on or anything! ”

“ I don’t wanna be weird, but do you mind if I climb inside of you and play around with your main turret? ”

“ A wine to DIE for, you say? Well, darling, don’t threaten me with a good time! ”

“ This one just says ‘ hmu with that reaper dick, daddy ’. ”

“ You on your phone, as always! Probably making blogposts on your Tik Tok page. ”

“ Yeah, you really don’t want to witness a repeat of the last time [NAME]’s diehard fans went without a selfie for fifteen minutes. My tailbone still hasn’t completely healed. ”

“ Now hold still, this will only hurt for a moment --- ”

“ Yay! You found a shenanigan! ”

“ My poems all have two or three emotions in them, AT LEAST. ”

“ CRYING IS OBVIOUSLY A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO CAN SQUEEZE THE MOST WATER OUT OF THEIR EYES! ”

“ No way, really? The way to WIN at poetry is by LOSING at life? ”

“ I dunno, maybe fall in love with someone who’s married and develop an opioid addiction? ”

“ HELL YEAH, SPEEDRUN! ”

“ It’s morbid, but... kind of romantic? ”

“ GASP! Google+? Are you kidding me? The psychopaths behind that global tragedy are here?! ”

“ Prison has changed me, [NAME]. Would you like to trade me some cigarettes in exchange for my fundamental dignity? ”

“ Undermining the laws of reality, subverting life and death, that’s the kind of stuff my followers expect. But CHEATING? No way. ”

“ Though we are imprisoned in chalk jail, we are free in our hearts. But our hearts are also imprisoned in chalk jail. ”

“ Um, no, I am NOT groveling. I am posing a dignified query to [NAME] that just so happens to be performed on my hands and knees. ”

“ I didn’t know you condoned playing the friend card to get free labor, [NAME]. ”

“ Ah, but saving the world doesn’t put avocado toast on the table. We indie seancers and necromancers need to pay our rent too, you know. ”

“ And as you know, I am illustriously Internet-famous, so if you could shower me with adoration and give me the pizza that would be fabulous. ”

“ Do you wanna fuck the pizza or not? ”

“ Are you ready to go swimming? I must admit, darling, I’ve always wondered what you would look like while... wet.”

“ Did you turn this date into an orgy without consulting me? ”

“ Gosh, I love it when you insult me! Please do it more! ”

“ Now who wants to make a baby? ”

“ What if she puts a curse on me that makes me magically forget the location of the clitoris?! ”

“ Hey, don’t knock wacky decisions that endanger us all! That’s how I always manage to stay a step ahead of my nemeses! ”

“ Oh gods, I’ve killed so many monsters, just for being monsters. This is making me question my entire moral foundation. I NEED MORE THERAPY. ”

“ I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: fish give better pedicures than people! ”

“ You’re not tricking me into parenting a stupid egg. I’ve never fucked even ONE chicken! The egg is not my son! ”

“ You came to visit me at camp, Daddy! ”

“ Don’t be ridiculous, I know your brand of horny, [NAME], and this ain’t it. ”

“ I thought we both agreed to be nothing but vague and haughtily aloof about our past dalliances. ”

“ Point EAST, compass! EAAAAAAAAST! You dumb fuckboot!!!! POINT! EAST! ”

“ One time I was told a soul’s worst fear was bugs and I inadvertantly sent The Beatles. It happens to the best of us... And the worst of us. ”

“ SOMEDAY I SHALL DEFEAT YOUR FIVE STRANGE FEET! ”

“ Why do you keep suppressing your monster half? Embrace your true nature! ”

“ Wow. I didn't think this was possible, but I guess I was... wrong? About social media? Oh dear God, is this how grandparents feel?!?! Am I a GRANDPARENT?! ”

“ I don’t know! I was relying on my friends to cover up my bold and idiotic statement! ”

“ ... I ate the oars. ”

“ PSYCHE. The ocean can eat my ass. ”

“ So pucker up, [NAME]! I'm about to declare mouth war on your FACE! ”

“ YOU FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOL! You're showing our inexperience! YOUR HONOR, THE ENTIRE LEGAL TEAM PLEADS THE FIFTH! ”

“ That's right. I'm talking about a classic Transylvania Hot Tub, a Seth Brundle, and a REVERSE Reverse Romanian Wilkinson. ”

“ Sorry, I was in your ribcage seeing if I could use it to cut strips of crepe paper into confetti and then I got lost in your kidneys. ”

“ There's nothing sexier than a doomed romance between a dating sim player and a hot fictional character. ”

“ That's right! I secretly replaced one of you with a bear while no one was looking, to teach you a valuable lesson about the art of disguise! ”

“ Enchant my armor. I’m going into the lake. ”

“ For VIOLENCE REASONS! ”

“ This stupid lake monster called me short the other day, but I was too low level to crush him like he deserved. ”

“ That dumb wet dinkhole won't know what hit him! But it will be me! I will hit him! ”

“ No, YOU'RE a fuckshark! Also, what does that even mean?! ”

“ You seriously didn't notice the enormous needles those interns jabbed into your veins as soon as [NAME] got here? “

“ It all makes sense! The Camp Dome is just an elaborate ploy to distract us from the giant mouth that eats campers! “

“ This is the BEST show I've ever seen in my life, which is now at an end! “

“ Am I high, or did he just tell us EXACTLY how to foil his evil scheme? “

“ What, like a few severed heads and visions of my grandpa screaming in horrendous pain are gonna freak me out? Where I'm from, you can buy that stuff at IKEA. “

“ ERROR: Due to the sixth mass extinction, the slaying of leprechauns is inadvisable. “

“ Then why do I have half-finished scarves, decoupage, pot-holders, friendship bracelets, and a taxidermied rabbit in my skeleton? “

“ The wang elemental. ”

“ I also have an uncle who works at Nintendo as a copy machine! “

“ What flavor of ice cream AM I?! Now I gotta know. HA! You know what I should be? 'Pistachio.' Because my outside is HARD, but I'm full of NUT. “

“ I mean, life is a bit like... this sandwich! No, stay with me, I'm going somewhere good with this. “

“ A survival situation without any sexy fun time isn't worth surviving in the first place. “

“ Rut the RUCK?! ”

“ The ' ambulance of the heart ' is just a regular ambulance! Ambulances treat all organs! ”

“ Yeah, that's why I made sure that my so-called ' emotional armor ' was also ' actual armor '. “

“ And being yourself is the key to living your dreams, which is the key to self actualization, which is the key to being really good at sex! “

“ So hot I'd buy that even without free shipping. 10/10, call me some time. “

“ Hi, quick question: does it count as kidnapping if I'm abducting you so you can help me do a thing you already agreed to help with? “

“ I could be wrong, but are you just upset because you DON'T have a skeleton that's inside your body? “

“ I'm gonna get SO FUCKING RELAXED MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE! “

“ Whoah, whoa, hold up. You're fucking my grandma? “

“ No, [NAME], that is a popcorn bag full of more dynamite. Put it down. “

“ I hear that at least 70% of people on Patreon aren't murderers! “

“ If you want cash, just rob banks like the rest of us! “

“ Did it work? Do you feel any less horny? ”

“ FUCK YEAH, LET'S PUNCH THAT MOUTH IN ITS MOUTH! “

“ Yes... incidentally, we are no longer allowed to enter Italy. “

“ Is anyone else turned on right now? ”

“ Yes! Yes! I know what you're feeling! I suddenly see how marrying a corpse isn't okay! “

“ JUST LET ME IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM, MORTAL! “

“ Look, choose whatever you want, but I'm not responsible for whatever you put in your mouth. ”

#rp starters #rp sentence starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #rp meme #ask meme #rp ask meme #monster prom #monster camp #monster prom rp #monster prom roleplay #monster camp rp #monster camp roleplay #mine

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on Jekyll/Hyde and his archetype of the human periodically changing into a monster ?

Jekyll & Hyde was the 2nd horror story I read following Frankenstein, I got it off the same library and it always stuck very strongly with me even before I got into horror in general. I even dressed up as Jekyll/Hyde as a kid for a school fair by shredding a lab coat on one side and asking my sister to make-up claw gashes on my exposed arm and paint half of my face, although in hindsight I think I ended up looking more like Doctor Two-Face than Jekyll/Hyde, but I was 12 and didn't have any Victorian clothing to use so I had to make do. The first film project I tried doing at film school was intended to be a modern take on Jekyll & Hyde, and I didn't get much farther than a couple of discarded scripts

Much like Frankenstein, Mr Hyde as a character and a story is something that's kind of baked into everything I do artistically. And it's not just me, as even in pop culture itself, none of us can escape Mr Hyde. I would go so far as to argue Mr Hyde may be the single most significant character created by victorian fiction, if only by the sheer impact and legacy the character's had.

(Fan-art by guilhermefranco)

Part of what makes Mr Hyde such a powerful and lasting icon of pop culture is that the very premise of the book invites a personal reading that's gonna vary from person to person. Because everyone's familiar with the basic twist of the story, that it's a conflict of duality, of the good and evil sides, but everyone has a more personal idea of what those entail. Some people make the story more about class. A lot of readings laser-focus on sex and lust as the driving force, and there's also a lot of readings of Mr Hyde that tackle it to explore a more gendered perspective, and so forth.

I don't particularly take much notice of the Jekyll & Hyde adaptations partially because the novel's premise and themes have become baked so throughly into pop culture and explored in so many different and interesting ways, that I'm not particularly starving for good Jekyll & Hyde adaptations the way I am for Dracula and Frankenstein. The Fredric March film in particular is one that orbits my head less because of the film itself (although I do recommend it), but because of one specific scene, and that's when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde on screen.

Out of all the things they could have shown him doing right that second, they instead took the time to show him enjoying the rain.

Just Hyde taking off his hat and letting it all cascade on his face with this sheer enthusiasm like he's never been to the rain before, never enjoyed it before, and now that he's free from being Jekyll, he gets to enjoy life like he never has before. It's such an oddly humanizing moment to put amidst a horror movie, in the scene where you're ostensibly introducing the monster to the audience, and it makes such a stark contrast to the rest of the film where Hyde is completely irredeemable, but I think it's that contrast that makes the film's take on Hyde work so well even with it's diverging from the source material, even if I don't particularly like in general interpretations of Hyde that are focused on a sexual aspect.

Because one, it understands that Jekyll was fundamentally a self-serving coward and not a paragon of goodness, and two, it also understands one of the things that makes Hyde scary: He wants what all of us want, to live and be happy. He's happy when he leaves the lab and dances around in the rain like a giddy child, he's happy when he goes to places Jekyll couldn't dream of showing up, he's happy as a showgirl-abusing sexual predator. Hyde is all wants, all the time, and there's not that much difference between his wants, his domineering possessiveness, and the likes exhibited by Muriel's father and Jekyll's own within the very same film, which also works to emphasize one of the other ideas of the original story, that Edward Hyde doesn't come from nowhere. That no monster is closer to humanity than Mr Hyde, because he is us. He is the thing that Jekyll refused to take responsability for until it was too late.

(Art by LorenzoMastroianni)

While many of the ideas that defined Mr Hyde had already been explored in pop culture beforehand, Hyde popularized and redefined many of them in particular by modernizing the idea. He was the werewolf, the doppelganger, The Player On The Other Side, except he came from within. He was not transformed by circumstance, he made himself that way, and the elixir merely brought out something already inside his soul. To acknowledge that he's there is to acknowledge that he is you, and to not do that is to either lose to him, or perish. Hyde was there to address both the rot settling in Victorian society as well as grappling concerns over Darwinian heritage, of the realization that man has always had the beast inside of him (it's no accident that Hyde's main method of murder is by clubbing people to death with his cane like a caveman).

I've already argued on my post about Tarzan that the Wild Man archetype, beginning with Enkidu of The Epic of Gilgamesh, is the in-between man and beast, between superhero and monster, and that Mr Hyde is an essential component of the superhero's trajectory, as the creature split in between. That stories about dual personalities, doppelgangers, the duality of the soul, the hero with a day job and an after dark career, you can pinpoint Hyde as a turning point in how all of these solidified gradually in pop culture. And I've argued otherwise that The Punisher, for all that his image and narrative points otherwise, is ultimately just as much of a superhero as the rest of them, even if no one wants to admit it, drawing a parallel between The Punisher and Mr Hyde. And he's far from the only modern character that can invite this kind of parallel.

The idea of a regular person periodically or permanently transforming into, or revealing itself to be, something extraordinary and fantastic and scary, grappling with the divide it causes in their soul, and questions whether it's a new development or merely the truest parts of themselves coming to light at last, and the effects this transformation has for good and bad alike. The idea of a potent, dangerous, unpredictable enemy who ultimately is you, or at least a facet of you and what you can do. That these are bound to destroy each other if not reconciled with or overcome.

You know what are my thoughts on the archetype of "human periodically changing into a monster" are? Look around you and you're gonna see the myriad ways The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde's themes have manifested in the century and a half since the story's release. Why it shouldn't be any surprise whatsoever that Mr Hyde has become such an integral part of pop culture, in it's heroes and monsters alike. Why we can never escape Mr Hyde, just as Jekyll never could.

It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character that almost every country in the world has learned to fear and despise. Our Barbie-doll president, with his Barbie-doll wife and his boxful of Barbie-doll children is also America's answer to the monstrous Mr. Hyde.

He speaks for the Werewolf in us; the bully, the predatory shyster who turns into something unspeakable, full of claws and bleeding string-warts on nights when the moon comes too close… - Hunter S. Thompson

There is a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction that explains almost every terrible thing happening in the news today. And it's not the scene where Ving Rhames shoots that guy's dick off. It's the part where the hit man played by John Travolta is talking about how somebody vandalized his car, and says this:

"Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it, just so I could've caught him doing it."

That last sentence is something everyone should understand about mankind. After all, the statement is completely illogical -- revenge is supposed to be about righting a wrong. But he wants to be wronged, specifically so he'll have an excuse to get revenge. We all do.

Why else would we love a good revenge movie? We sit in a theater and watch Liam Neeson's daughter get kidnapped. We're not sad about it, because we know he's a badass and he finally has permission to be awesome. Not a single person in that theater was rooting for it to all be an innocent misunderstanding. We wanted Liam to be wronged, because we wanted to see him kick ass. It's why so many people walk around with vigilante fantasies in their heads.

Long, long ago, the people in charge figured out that the easiest and most reliable way to bind a society together was by controlling and channeling our hate addiction. That's the reason why seeing hurricane wreckage on the news makes us mumble "That's sad" and maybe donate a few bucks to the Red Cross hurricane fund, while 9/11 sends us into a decade-long trillion-dollar rage that leaves the Middle East in flames.

The former was caused by wind; the latter was caused by monsters. The former makes us kind of bummed out; the latter gets us high.

It's easy to blame the news media for pumping us full of stories of mass shootings and kidnapped children, but that's stopping one step short of the answer: The media just gives us what we want. And what we want is to think we're beset on all sides by monsters.

The really popular stories will always feature monsters that are as different from us as possible. Think about Star Wars -- what real shithead has ever referred to himself as being on "the dark side"? In Harry Potter and countless fantasy universes, you have wizards working in "black magic" and the "dark arts." Can you imagine a scientist developing some technology for chemical weapons or invasive advertising openly thinking of what he does as "dark science"? Can you imagine a real world leader naming his headquarters "The Death Star" or "Mount Doom"?

Of course not. But we need to believe that evil people know they're evil, or else that would open the door to the fact that we might be evil without knowing it. I mean, sure, maybe we've bought chocolate that was made using child slaves or driven cars that poisoned the air, but we didn't do it to be evil -- we were simply doing whatever we felt like and ignoring the consequences. Not like Hitler and the bankers who ruined the economy and those people who burned the kittens -- they wake up every day intentionally dreaming up new evils to create. It's not like Hitler actually thought he was saving the world.

So no matter how many times you vote to cut food stamps and then use the money to buy a boat, you could still be way worse. You could, after all, be one of those murdering / lazy / ignorant / greedy / oppressive monsters that you know the world is full of, and that only your awesome moral code prevents you from turning into at any moment. And those monsters are out there.

They have to be. Because otherwise, we're the monsters - 5 Reasons Humanity Desperately Wants Monsters To Be Real, by Jason Pargin

(Two-Face sequence comes from the end of Batman Annual #14: Eye of the Beholder)

For good or bad, Hyde has become omnipresent. He's a part of our superheroes, he's a part of our supervillains, he's in our monsters. He lives and prattles in our ears, sometimes we need him to survive, and sometimes we become Hyde even when we don't need to, because our survival instincts or base cruelties or desperation brings out the worst in us. Sometimes we can beat him, and sometimes he's not that bad. Sometimes we do need to appease him and listen to what he says, about us and the world around us. And sometimes we need to do so specifically to prove him wrong and beat him again.

But he never, ever goes away, as he so accurately declares in the musical

Do you really think That I would ever let you go...

Do you think I'd ever set you free?

If you do, I'm sad to say It simply isn't so

You will never get away FROM MEEEEEE

(Art by Akreon on Artstation)

#tw: injury #tw: blood #tw: disfigurement #replies tag #dr jekyll and mr hyde #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #robert louis stevenson #two-face #batman #monster tag #universal monsters #horror tag

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ichayalovesyou · 3 years

Text

Why Bones & Spock NEED Each Other (Grief)

So over my tenure in this fandom I’ve seen some one sided stuff about Bones being mean to Spock, and vice versa and I’m like

Thing is y’all: You’re both right, but you’re also both wrong!

Bones is mean to Spock you’re right! But you know what? That’s a good thing!

Spock is mean to Bones because of course he is! And guess what? That’s also a good thing!

They both need it, and they can only get it (safely) from each other! What they have is (in a weird way) healthy! But it’s only healthy for these two specifically because they understand each other so well!

Prime examples? Somebody has died or gone missing (usually Jim)!

Let’s talk about how Spock & Bones grieve!

Let’s address how each character (generally) moves through the 5 stages of grief

Bones: Anger, Denial, Depression, Bargaining, Acceptance

Spock: Bargaining, Denial, Depression, Anger, Acceptance

They are each individually perfectly equipped to handle each other’s grief (or refusal to grieve)!

Bones initial reaction to death is usually Anger, he blames himself and anyone in proximity. Quickly followed by a weird form of denial, in which he doesn’t deny someone is dead, but he denies that other people think the person is gone and that they felt it when it happened because he’s dunked so hard under his own grief his usually high empathy has switched off.

Now, Bones is highly familiar with grief as a medical professional (and having lost his father). He establishes how important and deeply believes in that process in And The Children Shall Lead.

I think Bones is acutely aware of how he grieves, and is equally aware that throwing these feelings out at just anybody could really hurt them.

But Spock isn’t just anybody, he’s a (half) Vulcan, it’s like shouting at a brick wall, Bones knows Spock can take it. I also believe Spock understands that this state is temporary, which is why he handles it with such grace.

What happens when Bones isn’t able to go off at (not truly “on”) Spock is that Bones keeps that anger to himself and gets bordering-on-suicidal (Depression phase of grief). It happens in Miri (self injection), For The World is Hollow & I Have Touched The Sky (trying to stay behind), and The Empath (the whole freakin episode). Jim is good for comfort, but Spock is good for a slap in the face reality check.

They both know that. It’s why they’re still friends despite how much shit they throw at each other

Not only that, but Bones (almost) ALWAYS apologizes, from their worst fights I can rattle off:

“They were wrong, and I was wrong I’m sorry” (Paradise Syndrome)

“Pawns huh? Well if it makes any difference, this pawn is extremely sorry.” (Day of The Dove)

“Spock I- I’m sorry, it does hurt doesn’t it?” (The Tholian Web)

And that’s not including implied/non-verbal apologies.

Bones needs Spock to help him grieve because otherwise he’s gonna take an emotional nosedive toward attempted Martyrdom. Spock’s stoicism punctured by occasional genuiness helps Bones move to the Bargaining stage (making peace with Spock and everything that’s happened) and later Acceptance.

The inverse of this is also true so let’s address how Bones uses his belligerent nature to jump start Spock’s healthy grieving process!

Bones grieving style (and his confrontational nature in general) is uniquely suited to make Spock honor his Human side, his emotions in the matter. Because we know a softer touch (like Jim’s) while more comfortable for Spock, seldom cracks open that wall of emotional repression unless Jim’s in danger.

Bones doesn’t give a shit, and that ultimately a good thing! Both he and Spock constantly need to be directly shoved against their default reactions to interpret things in a balanced way, which is why they’re perfect for each other.

Without Bones, Spock would never let himself grieve, ever. We also know that, more deeply than Spock, Bones understands grief and how to move through it, he’s familiar with loss (which is why I think he’s so quick to accept someone is dead whenever it happens, it’s the reaction of someone whose had to lose a lot of people and is more comfortable grieving than hoping). There’s a lot of evidence for this in Gamesters of Triskellion & Return To Tomorrow.

He also honors Spock’s human half a lot more than Spock does, it’s one of the fundamental power sources for Bones & Spock’s “the racism’s mutual” banter. And it is mutual, I feel like people forget how often Spock compares modern humans to the worst examples of their/his ancestors and treats them as inferior out of internalized hatred and the general xenophobic attitudes of Vulcan culture. Bones of course responds in kind, usually in cockamamy insults, he’s not as well versed in Vulcan history as Spock is in Human. Although I admit Bones does start it a lot, I think arguing accounts as a love language for him lmao.

So when Bones sees Spock trying to stunt and stifle his grieving process, especially since Bones knows he’s at least partly human and it is affecting Spock’s judgement, it hits literally ALL of Bones nerves.

Bones uses reverse psychology to get Spock to admit he is human and he has feelings ALL THE TIME especially where Jim is concerned. Bread & Circuses, The Immunity Syndrome, The Tholian Web & Requiem for Methuselah!

Spock will absolutely refuse to grieve or at least move on from the self-destructive bargaining/denial loop he gets trapped in unless Bones smacks him around a little. Just like how Bones will get self-destructive unless Spock recenters him via logic.

Again, I think on a subconscious level they both know that, and it’s why they never take each other’s smack downs to heart.

An excellent example, Chekov’s “death” in Spectre of The Gun:

Spock isn’t grieving, but everyone else is, Spock was close to Pavel but isn’t letting himself feel it, which could later backfire. Bones is currently grieving, but there’s no time to grieve because they’re all gonna die in 20 minutes if they don’t find a solution to their dilemma.

Transcript & Breakdown:

Bones: You talk about another man’s [Jim’s] feelings? What do you feel Spock?!

Are you grieving? He was like son to you you’re not acknowledging it, again.

Spock: My feelings are not subject for discussion Doctor.

No, and I’m not going to, leave me alone.

Bones: Because there are are no feelings to discuss!

Well I’m grieving! And I’m gonna reverse psychology your Vulcan ass until you start your grieving process so that I can move on!

Scotty: Mr. Spock Chekov is dead! I say it now and I can hardly believe it, but you worked closely with him! That deserves some memorial!

Bones: Spock will have no truck with grief Scotty, it’s human.

Alright, that first comment didn’t work, maybe “insulting” him will get that thick head of his to acknowledge his feelings.

Jim: Bones! Scotty!

Spock: It’s quite alright Captain, they forget I am half human.

Fine, yes I am grieving for Pavel in my own way. Are you satisfied Dr. McCoy?

Bones: [looks surprised and thoughtful, satisfied with Spock’s answer]

Wow, you said you were human without any disgust this time... huh... good job.

Scotty:[looks ashamed]

The 5 o’clock duel bell rings.

#star trek #star trek tos #spock #bones #spones #grief #tw suicidal thoughts #tos #the tholian web #spectre of the gun #the Empath #Miri #for the world is hollow and i have touched the sky #bread and circuses #the paradise syndrome #day of the dove #meta thoughts #meta #meta analysis

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padfootastic · 2 years

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I am HERE for talking about the ways that Jegulus and Wolfstar stans regularly diminish J and S’s bond… James would NEVER externally or internally trash S in comparison to R OR scorn S for leaving his family. And I really dislike a common WS trope of Remus being the only one who can “understand” Sirius and be there for him… like if Sirius is gonna show vulnerability to anyone or have anyone fundamentally accept who he is it’s gonna be to James!!!

oh no we’re really kicking all the nests today aren’t we 💀 *war flashbacks to my first month here*

under a cut because, well, slightly incoherent rant alert lol

but i cannot even—like okay, i get it, anyone can write what & how they want, i would never presume to tell them what to do but at the same time, i just wanna scream all day long when i see certain characterisations lol

i firmly believe that james was super emotionally sensitive when it came to sirius—knew right from the beginning how to tread around him and part of that came from him not being afraid of him, not wanting to change him. bc let’s be real, sirius has so many rough edges, he can be cruel and vindictive and uncaring and perhaps only someone as privileged and confident as james can handle that but that’s how it is. james will never withdraw his love from sirius, no matter what happens (and yes i’m looking at some of the prank writers who keep them separated for weeks/months, esp while sirius is visibly suffering) and to make him do that feels like such a disservice to his character. hell, one of his definitive traits is faith in his friends, no man left behind. (i also just wonder, sometimes, the strength with which single, pampered child, james latched on to sirius and shares his home, heart, and family with him—)

i wrote this dark sirius oneshot a while ago, and honestly, the entire thing stemmed from my hardcore belief that james would not judge any part of him (or well, maybe a better way to put it is, wouldn’t suppress any part of him. will accept sirius for who he is) and while everyone else looks at him as sirius Black, part of a super dark, DE sympathetic family—james gives him a clean slate. there’s no baggage with him. and that means so much to sirius who’s always felt the weight of his name pulling him down. (but like also, it’s such a complicated love-hate relationship because he can’t entirely give up on his family either and again, james doesn’t force him to)

as for remus being the only one to understand sirius,,,the dude was unwilling to examine even his own self and motivations, you think he’s got the patience for anyone else? i think a lot of remus stans like to construct this super pitying backstory for him to make his actions look better (and that’s always confused me because i always thought/hc’d he had a fairly decent family life before hogwarts but hey, i don’t have to be correct) and the seemingly natural conclusion of that rough living arc is understanding towards sirius’ souped up trauma too. because remus has been through *so much* shit whereas james is just a privileged little kid, so only he can understand sirius who has his own demons, it’s the shared darkness in them, you see.

which i mean, look, i totally see where that’s coming from. but like u said!!! the undermining of james in this scenario!!! every single account we have of the marauders portrays a very clear dynamic- j&s in the centre, and peter and remus in the somewhat periphery. (now, i don’t believe either of them were pity friends like a lot of people but that’s a topic for another day, but there was definitely some lines drawn). the fact that sirius runs away to james is such a clear show of trust, james making him godfather in the middle of a war?? fuck. these two were so intertwined in each other’s lives.

i actually think remus’ trauma and character would make him more blind to sirius, controversial as that is. the man clearly loves his self pity, is a bit of a coward (self admitted), and has a confrontation-avoidant nature. that’s so far apart from sirius as a person, who prefers initiative, isn’t afraid to introspect, and doesn’t shy away from the ugly parts of life. remus focuses so much on his werewolf identity that it’s entirely likely he’d be ignorant to others. and sirius, who needs steady, stable support, won’t find it there.

but that’s just me.

#sirius black #james potter #i’m so obsessed with these two it’s unhealthy #i think everyone can tell by this point #on a tangential note—i wrote such a sappy fic with these two lol #(well two sappy fics)#it’s ridiculous #i love them sm #pen’s asks

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effei-s · 3 years

Text

anderson and his paradox:

about the duality of a man.

(aka see me rambling in this 1500-words long essay about how much i love him)

the first half of his paradox: he’s more than capable of love. i would even dare to say that love is a driving force behind 99% of his actions.

let’s look at examples:

adam’s mom (aurora):

i’ve said it before, i’ll say it again: he worshiped the ground she walked on. it’s a fact. it’s what adam said about him in unravel me: i know he loved my mom. it was always her, everything was about her.

her death was probably the worst thing that happened to him, the loss that made him truly suffer, hence him constantly talking about how he wants to shield warner from it. that whole thing with lena is not about control itself, it’s about warner not making his own mistakes. there’s a genuine desire to protect there.

evie:

considering how little information is given about them it’s honestly amazing how much there lies between the lines (can mafi write everything the way she’s written them, please?).

they’re the perfect example of my favourite type of soulmates. he’s actually second worst person on this planet, because first place is already taken by her. there’s no one who knows him better then her (she knew about adam = she knew about aurora). there’s no one who understands him better than her (them being two vital parts of the RE from the very beginning). it doesn’t matter how much they fight, he trusts her with his life no questions asked: he comes to her before ignite me and asks her to make him immortal. considering evie’s words in defy me about how she was ready to kill him for trying to kill juliette in unravel me it was very risky of him (because if there’s one person that could slit open his throat and kill him for good, because he let his guard down, it would be evie). he trusts her to do her job and has no doubts about her capability to succeed. his first reaction to her death is ‘what? it can’t be real!’ because evie for him is almost untouchable entity ‘if they couldn’t hurt me, they sure as hell won’t be able to hurt her’. when he realizes that it’s true he’s terrified.

and anderson doesn’t do terrified.

/i really don’t know what can scream LOVE louder than this/

warner:

we can’t not talk about warner here.

warner betrays him and he still saves warner life. you need to remember that the only reason why warner is still alive in defy me, after he committed treason, is because anderson protects him.

by that time in restore me/defy me anderson, who technically lost his position as a supreme, still managed to save warner’s life /because he’s cool like that/.

“I had to call in a number of favors to have you transported here unharmed. The council was going to vote to have you executed for treason, and I was able to convince them otherwise.”

even evie doesn’t dare to fuck with warner because she knows anderson will come at them with the wrath of god.

“If Aaron were anyone else’s son,” she says, “I would’ve had him executed. I’d have him executed right now, if I could. Unfortunately, I alone do not have the authority.”

anyone else’s son.

so yeah the problem here is not that warner is one of the heirs of the RE. the problem here is that he’s anderson’s son.

plus his entire conflict with juliette is rooted in the fact that she

a) tried to hurt warner

unravel me:

I cannot allow him to protect a person who has attempted to kill him.

restore me:

The monster we’ve bred has tried to kill my own son.

b) tried to take warner from him.

restore me:

Worse, she’s become a distraction for Aaron. He’s become—in a toxic turn of events—impossibly drawn to her, with no apparent regard for his own safety. I have no idea what she’s done to his mind.

and then in imagine me he declines warner’s offer.

“You would be willing to sacrifice yourself—your youth and your health and your entire life—to let that damaged, deranged girl continue to walk the earth? Do you even understand what you’re saying? You have every opportunity—all the potential—and you’d be willing to throw it all away? In exchange for what?Do you even know the kind of life to which you’d be sentencing yourself ?”

/i dare you to tell me he didn’t love warner, i dare you/

juliette:

as a cherry on top, there’s juliette, of course.

when we’re talking about hate we’re talking about juliette, no questions asked. i truly believe that his hatred for her was stronger than his love for aurora and evie combined. and still what brings him down for good is not hate for her but adoration of her (oh irony, my irony).

after 12 years of hatred, after 12 years of her being ‘the bane of his existence’, he still ended up spending his dying breath to make sure she will be safe.

“I ordered you to remain silent,” he says, glancing back at her. “And I am now ordering you to remain safe, at all costs. Do you hear me, Juliette? Do y—”

“Kill them,” Anderson gasps, blood staining the edges of his lips. “Kill them all. Kill anyone who stands in your way.”

just like defy-me warner, imagine-me juliette survives ONLY because of anderson.

he even apologized to her at one point.

“You know, I realize now that I’ve been too hard on you. I’ve put you through too much. Tested your loyalty perhaps too much. But you and I have a long history, Juliette. And it’s not easy for me to forgive. I certainly don’t forget.”

anderson??? admitting??? that??? what??? he??? did??? was??? wrong???

and not because he needs to get off the hook, but because he actually feels like it was too much???

ALERT THE MASSES, THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!

btw, do my eyes deceive me, or did this ‘not easy to forgive’ mean that he actually already FORGAVE her for trying to kill him?

anyhow if that wasn’t enough look at this:

“What could possibly go wrong?” Anderson asks. “She’s more powerful than any of them, and completely obedient to me. To us. To the movement. You all know as well as I do that she’s proven her loyalty again and again. She’d be able to capture them in a matter of minutes.”

do you see it?

it’s the same thing that happened with evie: no one here is strong enough to hurt her (oh, i can see some PROJECTIONS here happening).

it’s funny how the way Anderson acts is EXACTLY what I expected from Warner. he isn't just talking about how she can do anything, when moment comes he ACTS.

Anderson is guarding Juliette. The same Anderson who’s spent so much of his energy trying to murder her—is now standing in front of her with his arms out, guarding her with his life.

i’d still prefer for her or him to kill ibrahim but even without it... he says you can burn this place to the ground, I don’t care as long as you’re safe, he chooses her over not only the RE, he chooses her over WARNER.

/and you expect me not to ship this??? sure, jen, i’m not gonna/

conclusion number 1: yes, my beautiful people, everything Anderson does in one way or another tied to love.

the second half of his paradox: love doesn’t make him a better person, it doesn’t even make him fully human. you’d think that if person capable of such strong feelings there’s supposed to be something worth saving, just like castle’s said:

“Of course he’s a regular person, son. That’s exactly the point. We’re all just regular people, when you strip us down. There’s nothing to be afraid of when you look at Anderson; he’s just as human as you or me. Just as terrified. And I’m sure if he could go back and do his life over again, he’d make very different decisions.”

(castle is a fucking idiot, never listen to people like him or you’re gonna end up neck-deep in shit)

but at the end of the day anderson remains a fucking monster.

his love for aurora doesn’t stop him from marrying another woman and having a child with her because it’s the easiest way to social climb.

his love and devotion to evie and re (mostly evie, because evie is the reestablishment) doesn’t stop him from playing games with juliette and putting everything and everyone at risk just because he’s bored.

i won’t even start commenting on warner’s situation, because otherwise we’re gonna sit here for days and i’ll end up with 100k words essay about them.

and even his enamourment with juliette doesn’t actually protect her from his violent nature. even this perfect, absolutely perfect juliette still has to prove herself (cut off her finger to show her loyalty). it still very easy for him to hurt her.

conclusion number 2: him being in love, him caring about someone, him trusting someone doesn’t change his fundamental nature. he still remains a destructive force put into a human body.

he’s a fucking satan.

and that’s exactly why i love him.

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bestworstcase · 3 years

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I like your thoughts on how Rapunzel was handling things wrong in “Rapunzel: Day One.” The episode tries to imply that Cassandra is wrong for not sharing her feelings with Rapunzel, but is a Rapunzel really the person Cassandra should be opening up to? Rapunzel never respects Cassandra’s boundaries. Cassandra’s a private person. Rapunzel doesn’t respect that. And just because Cassandra doesn’t want to open up to everyone doesn’t mean that she’s bottling things up.

ok so this is gonna be a long one bc tbh i like. fundamentally disagree that RDO, the narrative of RDO, in any way positions cassandra as the one at fault for the emotional conflict between her and raps.

to digress a bit - while tts is not immune to Aesop Episodes (e.g. rapunzel's enemy or you're kidding me) wherein the characters close out the story by talking about What They've Learned, ultimately i don't think tts can or should be read as a morality play. it's a story where sometimes characters just... fuck up and the narrative doesn't waste its time on hand-holding or spoon-feeding us the moral.

anyway, i submit that RDO is what i'll call a False Aesop Episode. it follows the basic structure of an Aesop Episode (protagonist acts badly -> protagonist learns a lesson) but the lesson rapunzel learns is a bad one. it's like if you took... say, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" as an aesop, the False Aesop here is rapunzel confidently eating a rotten apple and then being blindsided a few months later when the doctor who kept begging her not to eat food with maggots in it steals the moonstone from under her nose and runs off into the night with her new demon pal--

and that metaphor got away from me a little bit but you get the idea.

#1: constructing the conflict

the episode opens with cassandra. she's training; we see the sword fly out of her injured hand; lance suggests she take a break, and she answers, "thanks to rapunzel's little trick at the great tree, i have to relearn everything using this hand, so breaks aren't really an option."

she isn't harsh about it. her demeanor isn't all that different from her normal self—she even segues into a very typical concern (that the woods are dangerous and they should all be on their guard) and banters with lance a bit.

what this communicates, immediately and succinctly, is that:

1. cassandra's injury is severe. it's disabling. she's either in immense pain or she's lost all the strength in that hand or both.

2. cass is really upset about this, and not happy with rapunzel.

3. nevertheless cass is keeping her feelings more or less in check; the worst anyone could say about her is she's being a bit more curt than normal.

which is to say, she's acting quite reasonable. she's not taking out her hurt feelings on anyone else or being mean or lashing out, and she's not hiding her injury either. the most concerning thing about her behavior here is actually that she's focused on training so she can do her job instead of on healing or resting or taking care of herself.

then there's a pan over to rapunzel, who is angrily watching this play out while venting to pascal. "i get why cass is mad at me," she says. "she told me—" huge disdainful rolling of eyes here "—not to use the decay spell back and the tree, and i did, and she hurt her hand. but if she had just listened to me and stayed out of it, this all could have been avoided! and i feel like we could work things out, but she refuses to talk about it!!"

line this up against cassandra's behavior and spot the differences.

cass is focused on her injured hand. cass is upset because rapunzel accidentally mutilated her in the great tree. that's what this conflict is about for cass; her injury, and how she feels about being injured.

by contrast, rapunzel thinks the conflict is about them not listening to each other. she does acknowledge that cass was injured, but 1. she puts the blame on cass, and 2. has shoved the fact of the injury to the periphery of the conflict. it's not important, it's just a natural consequence of the real conflict, which is cass being mad and petty and refusing to talk to her about how she's unfairly blaming rapunzel for something that wasn't rapunzel's fault.

[i will add here that this behavior from rapunzel is 100% not knowing how to handle guilt and externalizing it as anger, and this thread of rapunzel burying her guilt gets picked up again in rapunzeltopia; it isn't that rapunzel doesn't care that cass is hurt, so much as she's just not emotionally equipped to process these feelings in a healthy way so it mutates into...this.]

and where cass handles her feelings in a pretty reasonable way, rapunzel rants and raves and draws cass as a literal monster with fangs and claws—she's stewing in her out of control emotions and concludes that she just has to find a way to force cass talk to her, which she does shortly thereafter by ordering—not asking—cass to come with her to search for parts to fix the caravan.

#2: the breakdown of communication

i've said it before but it bears repeating: cassandra might not be perfect, but she's a good communicator. in s1 and the front half of s2, she shares her feelings with rapunzel readily and frequently. when she tries to set boundaries with rapunzel, she's able to be clear and specific about what she needs. when she expresses frustration with eugene or her dad or rapunzel, she's very articulate about exactly what she's frustrated about. she can recognize when politer, softer refusals are being ignored and become blunter and more specific to ensure the message is getting across.

the moments when cass struggles to communicate are noteworthy because they're not normal. they signal that she's in acute crisis. think of how her unhinged rant about adira in RATGT heralded a complete emotional breakdown. she clams up in RDO because it's the only thing she can do to protect herself. because rapunzel is an inexperienced nineteen year old who learned all her social "skills" from a manipulative, egotistical abuser and nowhere in the series does that show more than in RDO.

rapunzel knows cass doesn't want to talk about the great tree, so she isolates cass from the rest of the group with the intention of forcing her to talk about it anyway. she's passive aggressive at first: chattering about inanities and trying to bait cass into 'opening up,' and acting vexed and guilt-trippy when she finds out cass brought owl along. she broaches the subject by going "too bad there's not an open-up-to-your-best-friend-about-the-thing-you-guys-are-fighting-about wand, huh?"

then she leads with "i know you're mad at me, but i did the right thing. i didn't have a choice," which... what can cass even say to that? she acknowledged cassandra's anger in one breath and followed up with "but you're wrong tho" in the next. that statement makes cassandra's feelings about her debilitating injury into an argument about Who Was Right.

this is a game that cass tries very hard not to play. "look, if you feel that way, then it's fine. we're good," she says, which is a statement that is not true at all on its face but - what it means is that if rapunzel wants to turn this into a debate about Who Was Right, cass will concede because that's not an argument she's invested in. cass does not want to put her feelings on trial so rapunzel can pick them apart and decide whether she deserves to have them or not.

so she disengages. the sun sets. they camp. rapunzel pokes her again, this time with a more direct approach: "cass, i need to talk about what we both know is going on between us."

and that's when cass throws up a WALL. prior to RDO, when cass is pressed on her feelings, she either: 1. opens up and explains to the extent that she's able (e.g. under raps or RATGT), or 2. flatly shuts the conversation down (e.g. cassandra vs eugene). but in RDO?

"there's nothing to talk about."

"i never said i was upset."

"what makes you so sure that you know how i'm feeling?"

this is cass falling off the end of her rope. this is a cass who spent the last year and a half with rapunzel running roughshod over every boundary cass exhausted herself trying to set. this is cass maybe a few weeks out from rapunzel screaming at her in front of all their mutual friends and then telling her "i am going to make decisions you don't agree with and i need you to be okay with that" when cass tried to open up about her deepest insecurities. this is cass spiraling into despair because she's seen that her best friend cares more about assuaging her own guilt and exerting her authority as a princess than she does about cassandra's feelings.

this is the moment when the friendship dies.

#3: the memory wipe, cassandra's apology, and the false aesop

the details of the tangled-but-cass shenanigans are not super important for the purposes of this discussion. suffice it to say that cassandra lashes out in the heat of the moment, seriously harms rapunzel by mistake, and spends the rest of the episode trying to repair the damage, then apologizes to rapunzel for hurting her. this is, obviously, the correct thing to do when you hurt someone, even if it was an accident.

you see the parallel here, yeah?

rapunzel hurt cass with magic by accident, and then made cass's hurt feelings all about her, blamed cass for the injury, twisted the facts to justify her own indignation, picked a fight about Who Was Right and invalidated cassandra's feelings, and pushed and pushed and pushed until cass blew up and lashed out at her.

cassandra also hurt rapunzel with magic by accident, and then she set aside her own hurt feelings from the argument they were having before to focus one hundred percent of her energy on brewing a cure and keeping amnesiac rapunzel safe, readily admitted her fault, and offered an earnest apology for losing her temper as soon as she could reasonably do so.

if RDO were a true Aesop Episode, this would be the lesson, and rapunzel would of course learn from cassandra's good example and reciprocate by apologizing for the accident in the great tree and her abysmal behavior afterwards—and in a reflection of how cass shared how bottling up her anger allowed it to erupt in a catastrophic way, rapunzel would probably confess that her demanding, selfish behavior came from a place of feeling awful about what happened and terrified that it would ruin their friendship.

but RDO is a False Aesop Episode. rapunzel isn't emotionally equipped to handle the intensity of her guilt, and she lacks the social insight and empathy to draw comparisons between what she did to cass and what cass did to her, so she can't connect the two situations in her head to understand what she's doing wrong. the true aesop flies right over her head, and instead what she learns is this:

1. she was right about cass being upset

2. backing cass into a corner fixed the problem

3. friends really do "just know"

4. being pushy and forceful was the right thing to do.

because the thing is, when cass apologizes for the accidental memory wipe, she truthfully explains why she acted the way she did—she's furious and she didn't want to talk about it, so she held it in as long as she could and then exploded when the pressure became too much—and for rapunzel, i think the explanation and the actual apology get conflated. meaning, cass says "i'm sorry for what i did out of anger" and what rapunzel hears is "i'm sorry for being angry."

and because of that misunderstanding, from rapunzel's perspective her own indignation has been validated and her behavior justified, because she was right all along and cass shouldn't have been angry with her in the first place and now everything is fine--

but it's not fine.

we're not supposed to share rapunzel's perspective here, because she's flat out wrong. nothing is really better and nothing has really changed, except that rapunzel got the talk she wanted and stops putting this intense pressure on cass. so as we enter the house of yesterday's tomorrow, rapunzel is taking it for granted that things are fine with cass, and meanwhile cass is still injured, still angry, still as aloof as she can be without getting rapunzel breathing down her neck again... and then she meets zhan tiri, who gives her everything she needed and couldn't get from rapunzel.

like, to my mind, this is the entire point of RDO, that rapunzel makes this catastrophic mess of trying to patch things up after RATGT and comes out of that mess wrongly thinking she succeeded. the episode is presented through the lens of rapunzel's perspective, but the lines are very wide and i absolutely think the intention is for the audience to read between them and understand the reality that rapunzel has sort of blinded herself to.

#tts #rta #interpersonal conflict......good #theres also a whole separate layer of stuff going on in RDO w the class dynamic #this fight coming on the heels of raps pulling rank in RATGT and all but ordering cass to shut up and deal. like -#in RDO cass is Literally Doing What Rapunzel Ordered Her To Do #being okay with the decisions rapunzel made that hurt her #except that's not what rapunzel wants really. rapunzel wants cass to be her friend #but cass learnt in RATGT that her friendship can't transcend her servitude #she knows now that when push comes to shove rapunzel will treat her like a servant so... she acts accordingly #er #long post

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alfredosauce50 · 3 years

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Method to my madness [Yandere! Switzerland x reader]

Word count: 4,144 Warning: NSFW content later in the fic. There will be a warning line before it starts, and another line to indicate its conclusion. So skip it if you don’t want to read it.

Synopsis: As a stereotypical Swiss, he never did anything unplanned and worshipped punctuality. But when it comes to you, he’d throw that all away and show up to your door unannounced. In another country. And in the middle of the school term. Why? Because he can. Because he doesn’t trust your neighbors, your raunchy one in particular. He was the polar opposite to him—lazy, sloppy, and disorganized. So when he tries to invite you to a party, Basch makes it a point to stop you from going—even if that entails doing exactly what he accused him of. The reader is referred to as she/her.

Crunching numbers occurred to him like second nature. Anything that could be explained in a book, he understood like the back of his hand. In fact, he didn’t have much trouble doing anything at all, but when it came to you, every fiber of his being would clam up. His infallible logic betrayed him like he never had any in the first place. Now was one of those times as he boarded a flight bound for California.

As he made himself comfortable in his seat, he gave the passengers around him a quick study. Already, they were stripping themselves of their outer layers. Windbreakers, jackets, coats, you name it. A middle-aged man removed his hoodie to reveal a T-shirt underneath, and with big, bold letters spelled ‘USA’, which popped out around his belly as if to emphasize it. A single thought occurred to him as he looked away with furrowed brows. Tourists.

They had their fun, and were on their way home, starting with preparing for the sweltering heat of Californian Summer. He folded his arms together and sank into his chair. He’d remove his knit later. At the moment, he had a more pressing issue in his hands. What was he supposed to say when he’d show up at your door without notice?

Hi, I felt a dire need to visit you all the way in America in the middle of your semester when I heard you were living in a dorm. But that’s not all. It would’ve been fine until you sent me a selfie with a guy in the background holding a peace sign. Then that other photo showing a different guy using your toaster. Which implies that there are numerous guys living with you. In other words, people I don’t trust alone with you.

So here I am.

Surely, that wouldn’t fly.

You’d known him as a man who had his whole life planned out in a diary. And this was hardly planned. It was spontaneous, even. Basch Zwingli, the stereotypical Swiss who looked at the clock for things to do, was being spontaneous? Hell may as well freeze over at this point. To say this would surprise you was given, but he didn’t see anything wrong with this, per se. He probably would’ve done this to Lilli, but the thing was, he wouldn’t have ever let her study abroad by herself in the first place.

She was his baby sister, but you weren’t. And that was probably why he was at your doorstep. He couldn’t oppose your choice of study, but he could sure as hell be part of it.

He knocked a few times. He could barely make out the faint ‘just a second!’, but the sound of the voice was so familiar, he froze up. But that wasn’t quite right. Hearing Lilli’s voice never made him feel this way. The door creaked open to reveal a less than presentable girl in her pajamas, an oversized shirt, and she had the messy bed hair to go with it.

And when you saw who your visitor was, the droop in your eyes disappeared.

“Basch!? Oh my god--what are you--” You could barely talk as disbelieving laughs fell from your lips. “I can’t believe it’s you! I almost couldn’t recognize your face because I didn’t expect you at all!” Reaching out to give him a tight embrace, he returned the gesture with a gentler hug.

His arms were slow to wrap around your form, but to even have your affection reciprocated at all spoke volumes of how he was feeling. It had been nearly half a year since he saw you last, and to realize he was spoiling himself with an unannounced visit sent chills down his spine. He really was pushing the envelope with this one. But he had a gut feeling he wouldn’t regret this at all.

When you pulled away, he caught you gleaming at him with the brightest of smiles. It was so infectious, he felt a light tugging at his lips. “Well, I’m here if that convinces you.”

You grinned. “What are you even doing here? My break doesn’t start until a month later! But I can say this is a good time you caught me in. I only have one more final to pull through.” Pulling him into your humble abode, you barely made it into the hallway when you failed to hear the sound of wheels. So you paused. “... Basch, where’s your stuff?”

Confusion contorted at your expression, but you looked more worried than anything. It would’ve made sense if he was planning to stay at a hotel, but that wasn’t possible. He’d rather sleep on the ground than spend hundreds of dollars for accommodation, and what was the point of visiting if he wasn’t under the same roof as you? He tensed up as he confronted how truly out of character he’d been acting.

Shit. Even he was shocked that he failed to bring the most fundamental of things for this trip. When he bought his ticket, nothing went through his mind besides the need to see you. It took up so much of his brain, it managed to block out the concept of a suitcase. Packing for a trip that was to last for months. How was he supposed to explain himself? “... They lost my suitcase on the way here.” Perfect.

Your lips formed an ‘o’ shape as you nodded in understanding. “Ah, that’s too bad. I’m sure they’ll find it for you, though. Otherwise, they’re gonna have one hell of a lawsuit.”

“... But where’s Lilli?”

Why was his sister not with him when they were practically sewed together by the hip? And for such an important visit, no less. But he came prepared in case you’d ask. “Lilli’s not here because she had school. And I saw that tickets were the cheapest during this time so I decided to come early.”

At the sound of that, any traces of worry left your face and you burst into a fit of laughter.

“Of course you did, you cheapskate. I was always wondering which trait of yours was the strongest, but now I know.” Blood rushed up to his cheeks and he forced himself to look away. But when he felt your hands settle on his shoulders, he slowly turned to you. He didn’t even know if he was supposed to regret that action, because in that very second, he realized he was wrapped around your finger.

“I’m just kidding, Basch. There’s nothing wrong with saving money. And if that means you get to visit early, I’ll love you for it.” You cracked a tender smile at him this time around, and seeing that look on your face while listening to you talk had him wondering if he was even breathing at that point.

It was almost terrifying how easily he could lose his head around you. And he thought he had a good one on his shoulders. Everyone did. How come he could barely even think straight when it came to you?

“... Right.” He tipped his head forward to let his bangs fall in front of his face. It was a gesture that was almost shy in nature, but his action revealed a small ponytail on the back of his head, which of course, stole your attention away in an instant.

You gasped to emphasize the discovery. “Aw, did you tie your hair up? It looks so good! Everyone’s gonna be asking about you now!” Giving him a teasing elbow, you watched his expression morph into dismay. “Hey, I promise it’s a good kind of curiosity. College has us all swarmed and we’re dying for something out of the ordinary. My friends will be excited to meet you!”

“Why, because I’m… European?”

“Are you asking that because I complimented your hair?” He heard a soft snort from you. “I’m from the same town as you, dummy. I think I’d count as European as well. But that’s probably what they’ll be so interested about.” That was right. “If they find out about you, they won’t stop asking about if we’re… You know what.” Your voice strained a little and you looked embarrassed, even.

He blinked. For someone so high-strung about you, he could sometimes miss the key points.

“I’m having a hard time following. About what?”

You sighed and pushed his cheeks together to muffle his words. “Why do you always have to make me say everything, hm? They’ll obviously ask if we’re dating. You’ve never met them because they always go elsewhere during the break, but everyone will be here this time.”

By everyone, he assumed that included peace-sign guy and toaster-leeching guy. Immediately, he frowned with the most potent kind of disdain he ever felt. To think they spent most of the year with you was almost disheartening. But he didn’t need to remind himself they were the reason he was here. Basch could admit he was an oblivious person at times, but he wasn’t ignorant to the promiscuous sex life in college. The men here were wolves, so he had to see for himself if he could really leave you alone here.

But he had a feeling he wouldn’t be leaving your side anytime soon.

If that was going to give your friends the wrong idea, or perhaps, the right idea about you two, then so be it. He even wanted them to assume things. Even if he didn’t think much of it, flying all the way here for an impromptu visit was more than enough to get mouths moving.

He had yet to be on the same page as them. To realize that maybe, what he was doing wasn’t because you were like a little sister to him--like Lilli--someone to be protected. Or rather, someone he had strong feelings for. But given enough time around these so-called friends of yours, he’d learn it the hard way. And who better to press his buttons than your raunchy next-door neighbor?

The day after his unexpected arrival, he’d encounter this very neighbor who found the leisure in swinging by for a visit. Basch had his hands full with dishes in the sink when a few knocks were heard. He was generous enough to make lunch and clean up, though you had to wonder if doing chores was how he’d repay the debt from all the things you had to buy for him.

He never moved from where he stood as he could already hear you scrambling to answer the door. When it creaked open, a low and playful laugh greeted you. “There’s my girl.” My what now? Turning his head to the newcomer, he felt a pang of annoyance when he saw a man lean in from the doorframe. Said man reached out to give your hair an affectionate ruffle, and immediately, Basch decided he didn’t like him.

“Mornin’. Did ya eat yet? I was gonna go to a cafe for some grub. The one that has those killer vegan pancakes. Wanna come with?”

You hummed in disappointment. “Sorry, Al. I just ate. Maybe if you came in a little earlier, I would’ve been able to come.” Placing your hands on your hips, you placed emphasis on what you later added. “It’s two.”

No, he hated him. From that brief exchange and study of his physical appearance, he knew he was practically the polar opposite of him. A lazy, good-for-nothing slob. He had two full sleeves of tattoos. Piercings decorated one of his eyebrows, and as he spoke, he saw a small silver ball on his tongue. His fiery red hair wasn’t even long, but it was still unkempt as if he just rolled out of bed and didn’t bother checking the mirror. But then again, he did greet you with ‘morning’. Basch tightened his ponytail and made his way over to you, disgruntled. “...”

Sensing his presence by your side, you patted him on the back. “This is Basch, by the way. The friend I told you about.” When you exchanged looks with Basch, your smile faltered when you saw his expression. He looked almost upset, though you hadn’t the faintest idea why.

You figured you’d ask later.

The stranger was fast to acknowledge him, and with great enthusiasm at that. “Ohh, you’re the dude who flew over from Finland or something!” His striking ruby eyes widened with fascination, and he was grinning from ear to ear. “Wow, you’re pretty high-strung bout’ her, aren’t you? Makes the two of us.”

High-strung about you? Of course, he was--whatever the hell that meant. “... Switzerland.” The blonde clarified, to where Allen merely shrugged. “Close enough.”

While you laughed off his playful jibes and apparent forgetfulness, Basch couldn’t humor him. Between him and your neighbor, they were probably completely serious about the high-strung bit. He could tell in that brief side-eye Allen gave him, almost as if he was trying to stir some kind of reaction.

So be it. Two could play at this game. Unbeknownst to your raunchy friend, Basch could be just as outspoken.

“Anyways--” Rolling his head to you, Allen shot you an expectant look. “So… What’s your answer, doll? To the party this Friday? Is it a yes or a yes?”

“She’s not going.”

Your lips separated agape to answer, but he beat you to it. His invitation was shot down just like that. Shock widened your eyes and you gawked at Basch. You knew how protective he could get, exceedingly so, but it never got to the point of canceling plans without discussion.

“What do you mean, I’m not going? Basch, it’s fine!” You exasperated, but his only response was to squeeze your hand.

Something was wrong, for sure.

“... Yeah, it’s not like anything‘s gonna happen. Not when I’m around. So what’s the big idea, man?” Allen folded his arms disapprovingly. A shrewd light glinted in his eyes when he was struck with an idea. “If you’re so worried, you can just come with. Even though you’re not her boyfriend—”

Basch felt himself go red in the face. From both anger and mortification—because Allen was right.

“... Fine. I will go with her.” He relented, albeit reluctantly. Hardening his stare at the tanned figure, someone who sounded more persistent than he liked, he let his tongue slip. “And it doesn’t matter I’m not her boyfriend. I’m still her best friend, and I care about her more than you do.”

It was a given from how long you’ve been this close to him. But that didn’t change the fact blurting that out was unlike him. It left you in a blushing tizzy to hear him explicitly say those things, and you grew hyper-aware of his iron grip on your hand.

Being protective was one thing. But when was he possessive?

Allen laughed. “Yeah, yeah. You can flex that label all you want.” Making a move to leave by turning his feet, his lips curled up into a mischievous smirk. “I don’t want it. Not when a better label’s up for grabs. Boyfriend. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

Shooting you a wink to reduce you into a stuttering mess, he took his leave.

And when he did, Basch lost his shit.

“How long have you been friends with that guy? Can’t you see he’s just trying to get into your pants? He’ll probably stop being so nice to you once he does!” He fumed, taking both your hands into his as if to secure you in place. But really, you weren’t going anywhere. Not when you were about to receive the biggest lecture of your life. “You can’t hang around people like that, (F/N). You can’t trust him.”

You hung your head as a frown downturned your features. There was some truth to his words, especially when the man he spoke so ill of was a fairly new friend of yours. It was a shame to say the least because you did like having him around, but that wasn’t the biggest concern of yours at the moment. “You’re right… Kinda… I just really liked him as a friend, so I didn’t wanna say no…”

That didn’t come out right.

He thinned his lips as a grim expression contorted at his face. “... Did he do anything to you?”

You shook your head profusely. “No! God, no, of course not! Sorry, I put it weirdly. Nothing happened, really.”

Basch sighed, reaching out to pinch the bridge of his nose.

His bangs fell over his eyes to hide them. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this worked up over you, over a guy at that, but then again, he was beginning to suspect there was a little more to it than that. “... Okay. So are you gonna go to the party?”

“I don’t know. But I’ll probably go if you come with me, so…” With your free hand, you held onto the hem of his shirt. When he caught sight of the look you had on your face, he stopped breathing all over again. “I can tell something’s wrong with you. You looked really upset just then, and it’s not like you to just snap like that.”

He released you to dig through his hair, loosening the once tight strands pulled back in his ponytail.

That was right. Since when was he so possessive?

So jealous?

He bit his lip and looked positively defeated. As he fixated on the ground to avoid your gaze, he felt your hand gently cup his cheek, forcing him to look up at you. “It’s not like you to suddenly show up out of the blue, either. So tell me, why did you actually come here?”

Basch furrowed his brows and screwed his eyes shut. “... I don’t know. I just wanted to see you. That’s all.” You softened your gaze at that, feeling your chest swell up with warmth. He was always brutally honest, but he was more ambiguous when it came to how he felt.

So to hear him admit his troubles so easily had you almost worried about him.

As if he sensed this worry, he offered you a small smile of reassurance.

“Don’t worry about me. I swear there’s nothing wrong.”

Or that was what he wished, at least, because he was far from okay.

To make things worse, Allen wasn’t patient enough for today because he dropped by two more times after meeting Basch for the first time. Nearly a week had passed since then. This only proved his suspicions—that all he wanted was to get in your pants—and it left Basch positively restless. So restless that he couldn’t leave you alone.

It was finally Friday, and you were in your room browsing for outfits for the night. The man was sleeping like a log in your bed, and after a few unsuccessful attempts at waking him up, you decided to change with him in the room. How he ended up in your sheets wasn’t anything out of character, per se.

In the previous few days, he followed you around everywhere you went. That, you were perfectly fine with, but sleeping in your bed? He was pushing it. Despite your valiant efforts to get him back into the guest room, it was unparalleled to his own determination. What could you say? He was as stubborn as a mule. That statement would manifest into reality as he stirred awake.

Sitting up with the worst bed hair you’d ever seen, you found yourself covering your chest instinctively as he stared dead into your eyes with his own drooping ones. “Basch! Sorry, um, I couldn’t wake you so I decided to just…” Blood rushed up to your cheeks as he continued to stare, wordlessly. “Basch?”

You watched him slide off the mattress and saunter over. Holding your wrists and lowering them, he exposed your bra, but he never gave you the chance to complain. Instead, he loomed his head over yours and glowered at you. “You’re not going.”

Goosebumps pricked all over your skin when his hot breath fanned over your lips, and you were much too taken aback by his closeness to object. In fact, his face was so close, his nose was brushing against yours. “Wait, what are you--” Your whispers were cut off abruptly when he sealed your mouth with his.

He was kissing you. Albeit innocently as he parted frequently, pecking your lips over and over again. As gentle as he was, he still left you breathless, but flustered and confused all the same. But you didn’t have the heart to push him off you as your mind raced with questions. Why was he doing this? Had he always felt this way? There was a tenderness in his touch that told you he had.

But why didn’t he ever tell you?

When he finally parted, he kept his forehead pressed against yours. “Just tell him you’re not interested.” He frowned. “Say you already have a boyfriend. I’ll pretend if I have to.”

Because he’d been denying it.

“But--” Basch kissed you again, leaving a silvery strand of saliva connecting your lips as he parted. Your chest was rising and falling in a fervent manner as you struggled to breathe--the same plight he’d been facing for a while. Frankly speaking, you were at a loss from how much control you let him have over you. But you never tried to push him away. At this point, the throbbing in your chest had completely shattered your resolve. “--why are you kissing me if we’re pretending? There’s nobody here but us.”

His cheeks reddened before he tugged you along to your bed. Seating you on his lap, he attached his hands to your waist and squeezed it, making you yelp out in surprise. “If you’re letting me kiss you, then how are we pretending?” You blushed at that, realizing you had just as much of a part to blame.

Leaning in at that, he fanned his breath over your lips. “It just means it’s real.”

He still wasn’t processing the weight of his actions and just how out of line he was acting. But then again, he never did either of those things when it came to you. And it wasn’t like you were stopping him, either. So really, you were just as guilty for letting things go out of hand. Though you had to wonder if this was how things were supposed to be, especially when you continued kissing him in his lap.

*NSFW content ahead*

Said kissing escalated along with the heat of your bodies, all until he had his tongue in your mouth.

He never realized how much he’d wanted this until he had you under him, squeezing his neck as he left lovebites all over yours. Then, he made his way down to your shoulder and collarbones, chewing on your flesh until he memorized the taste of you. But he couldn’t say he was satisfied. Not until he truly crossed your boundaries and went all the way.

That was where this was going, after all.

Rather than going to that party Allen invited you to, you spent the whole night having sex with Basch. To say it was a psychedelic experience was an understatement.

As he held you down to make love to you, letting his arousal curve deep into your walls at every strong thrust he gave, he had you writhing in pleasure so good, the last remnants of your sound mind were completely destroyed. So while you would’ve been fussing about the fact he didn’t use any protection, you couldn’t, not when he fucked you silly.

To him, this was a culmination of everything he wanted. To have you for himself. And this rampant desire was so potent, it inundated him. Tugging apart the strands that held his self-control and reason together, he lost his head.

You never imagined he’d be so energetic and reckless in bed, even cumming inside you, twice, on purpose, when he was always so high-strung about safety. But as you found yourself on his thighs again, trembling as you sunk down to the base of his cock, you could watch him unravel with all sorts of animated expressions you’d never seen before.

Desperation, lust, and an aggressive infatuation as he bounced you on his imposing member. Bringing you close so he could bite your ear, you could hear the shivering in his breathing as he held back his moans. “You drive me so fucking crazy sometimes...” He whispered.

*NSFW content ends*

That was the first time you ever heard him curse, too. So maybe, you really were driving him crazy. This would become more apparent the next morning as he slept in past noon, something he hadn’t done in years.

And depending on if you’d remember or not, he’d buy you some morning-after pills.

Because something happening wasn’t a big concern of his.

In fact, it excited him.

#hetalia fanfiction #aph #aph switzerland #aph switzerland x reader #reader insert #x reader #switzerland x reader #yandere #yandere hetalia #yandere!switzerland #yandere switzerland #hetalia fanfic #hws switzerland #Axis Powers Hetalia #Axis powers ヘタリア

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dameronology · 3 years

Text

tea & whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 5

summary: you like jack. jack likes you. it doesn’t have to be complicated - but that’s now how things work. {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing

sorry for the huge gap between this update and the last one!! university has been manic and somehow writing 1500 words for an essay is much harder than writing 4k words for a fan fiction. i hope you enjoy!!

- jazz

You weren’t in a relationship.

This was not a relationship.

Sure, you spent every night at Jack’s apartment and sure, he made you dinner three times a week and sure, he did everything a boyfriend would but no, he was not your boyfriend. You didn’t do relationships - especially not with cowboys. This was, as you had agreed prior, just a bit of fun. It was nice not having to go back to an empty apartment in a strange city, and even nicer to wake up in his warm arms. Because that’s what Jack Daniels was: warm - and funny and kind, all things which continued to surprise you. Every time he offered to help you with your paperwork or made you coffee in the morning, you couldn’t help but ask why. For him, it was his second nature; he cared about you and so, he looked after you. For you, having been trained in an office where it was every man for himself, it was hard to get your head around.

You didn’t mean to let him do much for you. It was just that you hadn’t ever had anyone to look after you; it had always been you against the world. And, on the occasions he wasn’t being a pain in the ass, Eggsy.

Eggsy! Fuck.

You shot up in bed, almost rolling out as you realised what time it was. 7AM. Midday in London, where your best friend had been waiting for your call almost two hours ago. The daily phone call that had become, of recently, weekly. You hadn’t mean for your priorities to slip, but with both Calahan and Jack keeping you busy, it had become hard. You were already stretching yourself in a thousand different directions on a good day - then there were the days where you had three witnesses to do recon on, twenty arrests to file in the system and a suspect to interrogate. Eggsy knew firsthand what it was like but you’d been perfectly able to keep up with the daily calls during your first few weeks here - then Jack happened, and you’d started to slip. Completely unintentionally, of course, but was that not just part of adult life?

‘Jack!’ You tried to wriggle free of his grip, but it only tightened. ‘I gotta get up-’

‘- no, you don’t.’ He wrapped his arms your waist, pulling you into his chest. ‘It’s a Sunday. Like hell do you need to get up on a Sunday.’

‘I have to call Eggsy.’ You attempted to wrench his arms off of you.

Jack lifted his head off the pillow, revealing a tousled mess of dark hair and languid brown eyes. He blinked for a moment, offering you a sleepy smile when your eyes met.

‘Promise you’ll come back?’ He asked.

‘Promise.’ You pressed a quick kiss to his lips, smiling against him when he finally released you from his hold.

You pattered across the room, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand as you passed. As expected, there were six missed calls from Eggsy and a text with a a gif of a sad puppy. You felt a pang in your chest -- had you been a terrible friend? This was the longest time you’d spent apart in your entire lives. He was a constant presence and maybe that’s why you’d run to Jack so easily. No, you pushed that thought aside. You were with Jack because you liked him. It was nothing to do with anyone else.

‘Look who finally found the time to call me.’ Eggsy’s sarcastic drawl came down the phone after exactly two rings.

‘I am so sorry.’ You groaned. ‘I overslept.’

‘You never oversleep.’ He shot back. ‘You get up at 5am every Sunday to go for a run and watch Friends.’

‘You’re the one who was always banging on at me to start enjoying the luxuries of sleeping in.’ You reminded him. ‘So I did.’

‘I don’t believe you.’ Eggsy teased. ‘So how come you’re not at your apartment?’

You froze. ‘I am.’

‘Really? Because I tried your landline five times and you didn’t answer.’

‘What is this?’ You scowled. ‘Interrogate your best friend day or something?!’

‘Stop trying to change the subject.’ He shot back. ‘What’s his name?’

‘Whose name?’

‘The guy you’re clearly sleeping with.’

Another groan. ‘He doesn’t have one.’

‘He must do if it’s serious enough to distract you from...nevermind.’

‘From what?’ You asked.

‘Nothing. It doesn’t matter.’

‘Eggsy. Just tell me.’ You stressed. ‘It’s me.’

‘That’s my point.’ He replied. ‘Look, I didn’t want to say anything because it’s gonna make me sound like an arsehole, but you’ve been distant these past few weeks.’

‘I’ve been working. You know how important this job is.’ You sighed, running a hand through your hair. ‘And the timezone isn’t helping.’

‘You say that, but then you’re with a guy-’

‘- I’m not!’ You cut him off.

You were tired. Too tired for this. You loved your best friend but sometimes, his petulance could rub you the wrong way. You’d been so important to one another for so long that Eggsy sometimes acted a little...entitled. Entitled to every second of your attention, entitled to know every detail of everything in your life. Most of the time, you would divulge - and that probably didn’t help the situation - but this? You wanted to keep it yourself. It was personal. Too personal even for him.

‘You’re the one who left early to be with Tilde and I didn’t whine or kick up a fuss!’ You snapped.

‘So you had a problem-’

‘- I don’t have the energy for this right now.’ You cut him off. ‘It’s early and I’ve been working my arse off all week. This is my first day off in forever.’

‘And you still managed to find time for a hook up and not call me?’

‘It’s not a hook up.’ You quickly said. Quicker than you would have liked, actually. ‘I’m just doing something for me for once, Eggsy.’

‘I encourage it but not at the expense of-’

‘- of what?’ You snapped. ‘Of you?’

‘Exactly.’

‘I’m going back to bed.’ You announced.

‘But we haven’t spoken properly for days!’

‘Yeah, and you still managed to make this into a woe me, she’s doing things that don’t revolve around me! conversation.’ You sardonically laughed.

‘What do you want me to say? Sorry for missing you?’

Eggsy was attached to you. Probably a little too attached. It had caused problems early in his relationship with Tilde and he didn’t even know fully about Jack and was already kicking up a fuss. You couldn’t blame him; you’d grown up together, and you were the only constant person in his life. Whenever things had been bad at home, you were his escape. Whenever he found himself getting into trouble for hundredth time, you never strayed away from fighting his corner. He’d been there for you too; fighting off bad boyfriends and calling out any sexist co-workers. It was just that sometimes his sentiment extended a little too far, to the point where he got offended if he wasn’t the centre of your universe.

‘No, Eggsy.’ You murmured. ‘I just...I’m sorry I snapped, and I’m sorry I was shit and missed your call, but I’m not sorry for not giving you the 411 on everything I do.’

‘I give you the 411 on everything I do.’

‘And I’ve told you a million times that you don’t have have too.’ You replied. ‘I have a life outside our friendship and you’re going to have to get used to it.’

‘That wasn’t what I was trying to get at.’ Eggsy began. ‘I just meant that I know you and I know you don’t do relationships but it kinda seems like you’re doing one right now and I just...don’t forget about me, yeah?’

Glancing over your shoulder, you checked that the bedroom door was still closed. It wasn’t that you didn’t want Jack to hear, but discussing the private details of your thing together to somebody else wasn’t really something you wanted him to hear. Especially when he barely knew Eggsy.

‘I could never forget about you, Egghead.’ You softly smiled. ‘But this is not a relationship, okay? It’s just something to keep me busy whilst I’m in the city. Both parties are very much aware and I promise you that I know what I’m doing.’

(You didn’t).

‘Okay. I’ll let you get back to sleep.’ Eggsy chuckled. ‘Love you, old pal.’

‘Love you more, old chum.’

Your heart was a little heavy as you hung up. You missed him dearly but you liked what you had going here; people actually listened to you at Statesman and whatever the hell was going on with Jack felt good. You’d felt confident in what you’d said to Eggsy about it not being a relationship, but you couldn’t help but panic a tiny bit. What if you were slipping further and further towards the point of no return? What if you were becoming so comfortable that even if you did fall into some accidental, domestic situation, you were too attached to admit it? That went against everything you fundamentally were. Jack went against everything you fundamentally were - and yet, you were so ready to shrug it off. It wasn’t bad to let someone look after you, right? You could stop whenever you wanted, but it hadn’t reached that point just yet.

Jack was still awake when you crept back into the bedroom; he was staring at the ceiling, eyes heavy with sleep, but open nonetheless. He didn’t turn to look at you when you crawled back onto the mattress, instead just reaching an arm out towards you as you collapsed against his side. There was something...grounding about him. Steady and comforting. He spent most of his time humouring your finicky and pedantic nature, constantly reminding you to calm the fuck down and take a breather. He’d been teaching you to take things a little less seriously, and it felt good.

‘How’s Eggsy?’ He murmured quietly, eyes falling shut again.

‘He’s...’ you dropped your head against his shoulder, pondering for a moment. ‘Eggsy.’

Jack’s chest shook with a light chuckle. ‘You sounded a little stressed on the phone.’

‘He was just asking a lot of questions.’ You replied. ‘More than I have the answers to.’

‘About what?’ He asked. ‘Me?’

‘A little.’ You explained.

Jack made a quiet mmm sound, his grip on you tightening as he pulled you closer. He pressed a kiss to your temple and pulled you under chin. You didn’t resist - he was comfortable and warm, and you felt safe like this. The actions were a direct antithesis to the vortex of panic and confusion in your brain. The more you did stuff like this - soft mornings and stolen kisses and sleepily pillow talk - the less easy it would become to cut it all off at a minute’s notice. It’s not that you wanted to do so, but knowing you could was what offered that extra little bit of comfort. It was like an extra fire escape in a big building, or an extra parachute on an airplane.

‘What are we, Jack?’ You asked quietly. ‘Jack?’

Your question was met with a snore.

Jack knew that something was off the following day.

You normally would have stayed at his apartment for the entire day, as you had for the last three weekends, but instead, you’d left at midday with a bullshit excuse about paperwork. He hadn’t argued it. Jack was very much aware of your shining individualism and need for time to yourself, so he didn’t think much of it. It was the same when you’d aired every text he’d sent, and the same when you didn’t ask him to give you a lift on Monday morning. He was a little torn between wondering if you were just being unwittingly taking time for yourself, or if he’d said or done something. Surely you would have said something, right? You always had done before. Of all the people he knew, you were the one who would call others out for their shit.

The final straw had come when you weren’t in the office when he got in. Your desk was empty, and there was no sign of you having been there at all since Friday. No faint smell of Chanel in the air, no discarded Starbucks cup or terribly written stick notes. Nothing that he’d come to associate you with.

‘Tequila?’ Jack stuck his head out the door, eyes catching his colleague’s as he drifted down the hall.

‘Boss?’ Tequila stopped, giving him a nod. ‘Sup?’

‘Have you seen Percy anywhere?’ He asked.

‘Yeah, she’s in Ginger’s office.’ He replied. ‘And damn, she looks good today. Heels and-’

‘- don’t drool.’ Whiskey cut him off. ‘It’s not a good look on you.’

Why were you in Ginger’s office? You never worked there. Heck, he didn’t know that the two of you were that close. You didn’t seem like the type of person who had time for friends. Eggsy was the exception, of course, but Jack saw him more as your weird, surrogate son than anything else.

Sure enough, Tequila had been right - about both things. You were in Ginger’s office and you did look amazing. Not that it was different from any other day, but you were wearing a new lipstick shade that day and your hair had been done slightly differently. He couldn’t blame the guy for making a comment on it, even if it had made his blood boil. Jack knew that he didn’t really have the right, because you weren’t...exclusive or anything. All part of him was beginning to wish you were, but he knew that wasn’t your style. This was the closest he was ever going to get and frankly, he was just grateful somebody as breath taking as you was giving him the time of day.

‘Hey, Whiskey.’ Ginger saw him first. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I need my agent.’ Jack replied. ‘Got some paperwork on Calahan.’

‘I know, I’ve got it here.’ You glanced over your shoulder at him. ‘Ginger is helping me with it.’

‘Not that paperwork.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Other paperwork.’

‘We don’t have other paperwork, Ja- Whiskey.’

‘We do. And I need your help with it.’ He said. ‘Now.’

‘Like right now?’ You frowned.

‘Yes, agent.’

Agent? Had he just called you agent? Freaking Merlin called you that. It did make sense, because they were technically both your bosses, but Jack wasn’t...well, he was Jack. Jack who you’d spent every night with for the past three weeks. Jack who made you dinner every night. Jack who you’d had a thousand deep conversations with.

‘I guess I’ll see you around.’ You forced a smile at Ginger.

‘Sure thing!’ She smiled back, not picking up on the tension.

The pair of you walked back to your shared office in silence, shared for the sound of your heels on the floor and the traffic outside. Neither of you had spoken for twelve hours and yet, there was some kind of tense atmosphere slowly taking over the space between you with each passing second. For a pair that were normally so good at talking, you sure had failed at it.

Jack shut the door as soon as you entered - actually, he slammed it. It made you jump slightly, turning around to face him with a scowl.

‘The fuck’s going on, Whiskey?’

‘I could ask you the same thing.’ He grunted. ‘What’s with all the sudden quiet? You doing a sponsored silence or something?’

‘No.’ You leant against your desk, not faltering. He was lucky that looks couldn’t kill.

‘So why are you avoiding me?’

‘Why do you think I’m avoiding you?!’

‘I don’t know, darling - maybe the fact you left early yesterday, you’ve been ignoring my texts and calls and the fact you weren’t in the office this morning?’

‘Well, I guess you got me there.’ You muttered. ‘I just...Eggsy said something yesterday and it freaked me out a little.’

Jack faltered slightly. ‘What?’

‘He said it seemed like I was in a relationship.’ You explained. ‘And it made me realised that we’re really slipping towards that territory and it’s just not something I’m able to do.’

‘So, what? You wanna stop this whole thing?’

‘No!’ You exclaimed. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Hey, c’mhere.’ Jack crossed the room, gently taking your hands in his. ‘What are you so scared of, sweetheart?’

‘Nothing. I’m not scared of anything.’ You tried to puff your chest out, and he could only laugh.

‘I know what it’s about.’ He placed a hand on your cheek. ‘Remember all that shit you spewed about not needing anyone? About how you never needed anyone to look after you?’

You nodded.

‘It’s not that don’t need anyone - I think you’re scared to.’ He explained. ‘Now, I’m not saying you need me, because I think you might slap this hat right off my goddamn head if I do, but I am saying that maybe, just maybe, you’ve been bordering on the territory of letting me look after you these past few weeks., and that is scary for you.’

‘Maybe I have.’

‘And that’s okay, sugar.’ He stressed. ‘You’re allowed to want someone to look after you, without needing someone to look after you. There’s a difference.’

‘There is?’

‘You don’t know a damn thing, do you?’

‘I don’t think I do.’ You bit your lip, eyes falling to the ground.

Jack chuckled. ‘Everything we said still stands -- all that about this only being whilst you’re in New York, about it not getting in the way of our work. I know this is more serious than we planned but I’m still down for it if you are.’

‘I just...there is one more thing.’

‘What is it?’

‘Ginger and I were talking - not about you, you just kinda came up - and she uh...’

‘She said I’m the reason she’s not in the field, didn’t she?’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s...that’s complicated.’

‘It doesn’t seem complicated.’ You urged. ‘She’s a good agent. She works hard and she at least deserves a chance.’

‘You trust me, don’t you?’

‘Why are you answering my questions with questions?’ You thinned your eyes at him. ‘But yeah, I do.’

‘Then trust me when I say that I have my reasons.’ He said. ‘Please?’

‘Yeah, okay.’

‘So, are we good?’

‘We’re good.’

You didn’t resist when Jack pulled you into a tight hug, or when he pressed a kiss to your forehead. He held your head to his chest, hand on the back of your head for a moment, letting out a small sigh. It was easy to listen to what he’d said, about trusting him and it’s complicated - in fact, it was a little hard to think about anything when the faint smell of his aftershave was swarming your senses, warm body pressed to yours.

But still, you couldn’t push away the nagging feeling at the back of your head.

taglist: @b0nnyzz @xremember-me-notx @somenerdyuser @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @javisjeanjacket @phoenixhalliwell @no-droids-on-sunday @paintballkid711 @waatermelon-sugaar @hepburnwritess @haileyybird @xjaywritesx @jabbajambler @the-mandalorian-clone-lover @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @welcometothepedroverse @wickedmuse (if you wanna be added, pls drop me a msg!)

#this was meant to end with angst but i couldn't do it #and i had to include the ginger thing because its mentioned in the movies and i have my theory #but more on that next chapter #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #agent whiskey imagine #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x you #jack daniels imagine #pedro pascal character headcanons

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ncssian · 3 years

Text

A Favor: Part Five

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

***

Nesta hates loud noises. She hates loud thunder and loud people and loud machines and loud music, but no one ever understands her when she tries to explain how certain volumes of sound are a direct assault on her senses.

She especially hates yelling, at least when other people are doing it. It’s big and scary and reminds her of Tomas— where her own shrieks feel powerful, being yelled at makes her feel weak.

Except when Cassian snaps at her, it feels different. So different that she can only blink in confusion and say, “Fine.” She’ll go to the stupid doctor.

He didn't scare her. That's what Nesta's still thinking about as she sits in the fluorescent-lit doctor's office with Cassian. He was loud and he was angry, but he wasn't scary. There was the moment where she waited for fear to kick in, and it didn't.

Maybe it's a sign Nesta is finally evolving. Maybe she’s starting to become normal, and she doesn't have to cower every time someone raises their voice at her.

Or maybe it's just Cassian.

The door opens and the doctor returns. “I have your birth control prescription right here.” She waves a slip of paper.

Nesta can't look at Cassian. The worst part of this whole useless doctor's visit was having to discuss her nonexistent sex life in front of him, including why she hasn't bothered taking birth control in years.

The doctor keeps talking. “Birth control isn't the end all, be all. I didn't find anything during our pelvic exam, but I want to schedule you for an MRI anyway.”

Cassian perks to attention at that. “An MRI?”

“It might seem extreme, but I don't want to miss any spots. Ultrasounds can pick up cysts, but there's a chance that whatever is causing your pain is less severe than that. Considering your symptoms and how long this has been going on, we want to save time when it comes to finding answers.”

Cassian turns to Nesta, clearly looking for her reaction. Nesta only sits on the patient bed in silence. All she can think is that she shouldn’t have come to the doctor.

The drive back home is silent, and Nesta doesn’t know whether to be grateful or scream. She both longs for Cassian to say something and never wants him to speak to her again.

A part of her knows what it is. A part of her has always known that there was something fundamentally wrong with her body, but she can’t even think the idea to herself without confirmation.

The snow has just started to melt enough to drive safely back to the house, but Cassian still goes too slow for Nesta’s liking. As soon as he’s parked in the driveway, she’s throwing his truck door open and storming for the warmth of the cabin. She’s in her room for the rest of the day.

That night, Cassian brings a box out to the living room and drops it with an unceremonious thud on the coffee table in front of Nesta. She glances up from her book to eye his gift.

An idyllic countryside landscape graces the lid of the box. It’s a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle. She flicks her eyes up to Cassian.

“I’ve always wanted to do it,” he nods to the puzzle, “but it was too big for me to take on alone. Wanna help?”

“No.”

He makes a pleading pout that Nesta knows is entirely for her entertainment. “Please,” he whines. “There’s snow outside and the fire’s going and I just made hot chocolate. The only thing that would make this perfect is a puzzle. Do you hate perfect things?”

“Me reading alone is perfect.” Nesta moves to return to her book.

Cassian’s face is then right before hers. He’s dropped to his knees in front of her. “Nesta,” he says very lowly. “I won’t beg.”

The room is suddenly too hot, and Nesta has to rub a hand over her face to relieve the burning. “You’re begging right now,” she observes as flatly as possible.

He gives her a smile and squeezes her knee. “You might be right. Put me out of my misery.”

Nesta hates him.

An hour later they are hunched over the coffee table together, in complete silence as they search for the final edge piece. They’ve already had three fights over this stupid puzzle, mostly because Cassian is certain that Nesta has all the pieces to his side of the puzzle, and Nesta is certain that Cassian is the worst puzzler ever.

“I hate this,” Nesta mutters as she keeps searching. Her eyes are strained from all this staring and her muscles are starting to ache. “Why did you tell me this would be fun?”

“I don’t know,” Cassian admits as his eyes rove over hundreds of puzzle pieces. “I wanted to make you feel better, but now I feel like shit.”

Nesta is about to reply sardonically when something catches her attention. She gasps. “There, I see it!”

She grabs for the edge piece at the same time Cassian does, and they briefly fight over it before Nesta rips it out of his hand.

“Ow.”

She victoriously fits it into place, completing the border. They sit back, proud of their work.

“How much is left?” Cassian asks.

“Nine hundred pieces.”

“Oh.”

***

The MRI appointment comes and goes. Nesta doesn't note much of it except having to drink a bottle of thick, disgusting liquid before getting scanned, and having Cassian talk her through not throwing it up the entire time.

And then she waits. Or rather, they wait.

It's obvious that Cassian is subtly worried for her, and this paired with Nesta's own worry makes for an uncomfortable, tension-wrought environment. So Cassian does his best to keep her occupied.

He returns to the puzzle with her every night. Even though it leaves them both with headaches and lost arguments and a desire to get away from each other, they have a silent agreement to never skip out on puzzling time. Sometimes a whole chunk of the image gets done; sometimes they only find two pieces after thirty minutes and call it a night, turning a TV show on instead.

It's on one of these ordinary nights that Nesta notices something new.

“How have your sisters been?” Cassian murmurs while hunting for a green piece.

Nesta frowns as she tries and fails to fit her own piece into the puzzle. “You're telling me you don't already know?” Cassian is closer to Feyre than even Nesta is. As for Elain, sometimes Nesta goes weeks without contact with her, not for loving her any less.

He shrugs, but is staring intently at the coffee table. “I haven't talked to Feyre in a while. I’ve just been busy, I guess.”

“Doing what? I see you on the couch every day.”

When Cassian doesn't respond, Nesta feels the need to press. She doesn't consider herself nosy, mostly because she can't be bothered to care about other people's lives, but this is Cassian. And ever since he helped her through her period and sat beside her at the doctor's, she's been open around him in a way she’s never been with anyone before.

“Why aren't you talking to Feyre? Did you guys get in a fight?” She sounds demanding, but Cassian knows by now that's just how she talks.

“No, we didn't fight—” He makes a frustrated noise and rolls a puzzle piece between his fingers. “I don't know,” he finally says. “Do you like your sister?”

Nesta hooks her arm around her bent knee and decides to be honest. “It's complicated. I can't say that if she wasn't my sister I would be able to have civil conversations with her.”

Cassian pulls his knee up and nods, thinking. “Well, it's sort of like that. All these years, I’ve looked at her as my sister, but now I know you better, and… I feel like I know her less.”

“So she's not your sister anymore?”

“No. She's yours.”

Nesta finds this funny, because whatever it is real sisters have, she and Feyre just barely have it.

She drops the topic after that and they keep working, until she finally notices it.

Whenever Nesta shifts her leg, he shifts his leg. Whenever she worries at her lip with her thumb and forefinger, a few moments later he does the same. When she reaches for a puzzle piece, he reaches for a puzzle piece. It seems to be subconscious, but eventually she has to say, “What are you doing?”

“Hm?”

“You’re copying me.” She crosses her arms.

Cassian straightens up. “Am not!”

His gaze follows hers to his arms, which are now also crossed. He drops them quickly. “It’s not intentional,” he insists.

Nesta narrows her eyes at him. She’s done her fair share of mirroring before, usually when she’s trying to manipulate a professor into giving her a better grade, but Cassian doesn’t want to manipulate her. She’s pretty sure. “I believe you,” she states. “Just don’t do it anymore. People might think you’re turning into me.”

He huffs a laugh and turns back to the puzzle. “Take your hair down if it bothers you so much.”

She reaches up to touch her hair, not getting it at first, when she notices her hair is done up the same way as Cassian’s: in a little half-ponytail. Her fingers fiddle with her hair tie as she genuinely considers pulling it out, but in the end she drops her hand.

They match, just like mirrors.

***

Nesta’s spends all of the next day waiting for her MRI results, but when her phone finally rings, it’s not her doctor.

“Lorene?” she answers.

“Today’s your lucky day, hun. It looks like the apartment is gonna be done by the end of the week!”

“Oh.” Nesta doesn’t know what else to say.

“Isn’t that great? You can move back in soon!” Lorene’s enthusiasm doesn’t match up with the storm of feelings going through Nesta right now.

She doesn’t want to leave, she realizes in half-horror. Especially not by the end of the week. “Um, that’s great Lorene,” she says quickly. “I’m really glad, but I have to go now. I’ll call you later, okay?” She does not plan on calling Lorene later.

After a rushed goodbye, Nesta throws her phone on her bed like it’s poisonous. She doesn’t want to think about her old apartment or going back to not having someone to talk to every day, not right now. The puzzle isn’t even halfway finished yet.

Once again, her phone rings. Nesta’s about to ignore it, thinking it’s her landlady again, when she realizes it’s an unfamiliar number. Snatching up the phone, she clicks the screen with nervous thumbs. “Hello?”

“Nesta Archeron?”

“Speaking.”

“This is Doctor Forbes. I have the results of your MRI scan right here and I wanted to go over them with you. Are you free right now?”

***

Nesta doesn’t tell Cassian about either of the phone calls she receives that day. The doctor call isn’t really his business, nor is it important, and as for her landlady’s call…

She doesn’t want to tell him about that call. She doesn’t want to tell him that she has to leave soon, because she doesn’t want to leave at all. So she goes on as if nothing has changed.

This lasts less than twenty-four hours, when Cassian’s attentiveness catches up to her the next morning and he asks if she’s gotten her MRI results yet.

“Yes,” she says flatly as she spreads peanut butter on her toast. Luckily for Nesta, this is something she can handle discussing. There’s nothing for her to be ashamed about.

Cassian straightens up and sets his coffee down. “Well?” he prods. “Did they find anything? Is anything wrong?”

“Yes,” she says again. She takes a bite of toast and says while chewing, “I have moderate endometriosis on my uterus and both ovaries. That’s it, though.”

Something clatters in the kitchen as Cassian drops it. “'That’s it'? Nesta, that’s fucking serious.” He sounds more intense than he’s ever been with her before.

Nesta scoffs, trying to deflect from how quickly the mood dropped. She should have expected his concern, should have known how deeply uncomfortable it would make her. “At least I don’t have cysts. What’s the big deal?”

“You might be infertile.”

There it is. He's such a bastard, always shoving her face into things she isn't ready to face.

On the outside, she lifts a hand sharply to shut him up. “I don't know what makes you think a week’s worth of Google searching makes you a gynecological health expert, but it's none of your business, Cassian. I said I’m fine and I mean it.” Well, everything but her wallet is fine. She can't even think about things like having children when she can barely afford treatment for her endometriosis.

Cassian moves without a word, and then there are two strong arms wrapped around her, holding her so close she can barely move. She makes a sound of protest but stays there, face squished into his chest. Jesus, he’s tall. He nearly has to hunch to put his chin on her head.

Nesta's arms remain stiff at her sides, her hands flexed outwards. “What the hell is this?”

“Just in case you're not fine.”

She is frozen.

When Nesta was little, she used to believe that if she talked about someone enough, they would eventually become real. After all, what more did a mythical king need to exist beyond being talked about? As Nesta grew older, she couldn't help but take notice of the fact that no one ever talked about her. She became ghostly, unsure of whether she was real or not. Who’s to say she exists when she can barely get a word in during a conversation? When at every party, she’s met with unfamiliar eyes that glaze over her like a background character?

She has felt paper-thin and hollow as fiction for so long. But she’s always wondered if someone would just reach out and hold onto her tight enough, if she might become real.

This feels a little like that.

Hesitantly, she lets her arms loosely encircle Cassian’s waist. He's so warm, and a shuddering breath escapes her.

She's fine. She's fine.

***

a/n: *narrator* she was not fine.

i was gonna add more to this and give cassian a pov this chapter, but this seemed like such a good place to leave off and i didn't wanna ruin it. next chapter is going to be more cassian-centric to restore the balance, and if i don't keep changing my plans we’ll see nesta make a friend who isn't cassian (bc she deserves a social life too)

tagging: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @royaltykxx

some tags are refusing to work, sorry :(

#a favor #ncssianwrites #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #nessian fic #nessian au

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